Quotations, v. 2011
You’re right: we’re long overdue for a new Quotations thread.
Continued from Quotations, 2010.3.
Date: June 17, 2011
Categories: Life, Nonrandom Craziness, The Universe
Comments RSS TrackBack 361 comments
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Koko's Apprentice
in June 17th, 2011 @ 09:24I believe someone asked for a link to the cleverbot conversations on the last thread, and these were really great, so I’m hoping to get it started again: https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=1672
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Agent Lightning
in June 17th, 2011 @ 09:55Sister: Meow.
Me: Oh, are you a cat, too?
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Piggy
in June 17th, 2011 @ 15:33“Penalties against possession of a drug should not be more damaging to an individual than the use of the drug itself.â€
–Jimmy Carter
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Bibliophile
in June 17th, 2011 @ 16:45Exactly! I never understood why almost everyone I knew had known someone who did drugs in high school and not turned them in–until I found out what the punishment for drug-owning actually was! It’s ridiculous! It also just lost the authorities any possessors I may meet in high school. I’m against drugs, but people who have them don’t need to spend nearly that much time in jail. It makes no sense.
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Koko's Apprentice
in June 17th, 2011 @ 17:14I agree. Theoretically, one might hope that the punishment is beneficial to the individual and sends them to rehabilitation to get them off the drug, not kills their life by forcing them to rot in jail.
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shadowfire
in June 18th, 2011 @ 12:08“It crawls on his back, won’t ever let him be,
Stares at the walls until the cinder blocks can breathe.
His eyes have gone away, escaping over time,
He rules a crowded nation, inside his mind.”
-I’m Not the Man, 10,000 Maniacs (creepy, creepy, awesome song)
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ZNZ
in June 18th, 2011 @ 16:01“I just don’t think pink ponytails are all that dapper.” – Me
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Jadestone
in June 21st, 2011 @ 00:26Some of my personal favourites:
“I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.”
– Galileo Galilei“…a passing reminder, a breath from the divine lips of beauty, a nightengale between two worlds of dust.”
– A Passage to India, Edward Morgan Forster“The status is not quo! The world is a mess and I just need to rule it!”
– Dr. Horrible“Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. And, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand. It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics: You are all stardust. You couldn’t be here if the stars hadn’t exploded, because the elements–the carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, iron, all the things that matter for evolution and life–weren’t created at the beginning of time. They were created in the nuclear furnaces of stars, and the only way for them to get into your body is if the stars were kind enough to explode. So, forget Jesus. The stars died so that you could be here today.”
– Lawrence Krauss“‘Cause you’re my quasi-icthyian angel/You’re my half-amphibian queen/You’re the Overlord of my Universe/You’re the Tormentor of my Dreams/You’re my starry-eyed web-footed wonderful/You swallow my sanity/You’re my fish-frog sweetheart,/Baby let me be your/Filthy gibbering lunatic priest…”
– “Heartache Over Innsmouth,” Drabblecast“You make my stomach churn with desire or hate. Either way, stop it.”
“What about loneliness? What about friends? What about winning and getting revenge?”
“We are terrible for each other, and, yes, we are a disaster. But tell me your heart doesn’t race for a hurricane or a burning building. I’d rather die terrified than live forever.”
-asofterworld“Aye, my child, it’s true what they say. The Kraken are out there, roaming through the space dust, winding their way through the galaxies, the Giant Squid of the Great Night. Some say they’re the offspring of the darknesses of energy and matter we cannot yet fathom. But I’ve heard stranger tales from the old spacefarers, and who should know better? They say the Kraken are the thoughts of Musers, given form and set free among the stars….â€
– Rebecca“And I could swear by your expression that the pain down in your soul, was the same as the one down in mine…”
– The Origin of Love, Hedwig and the Angry Inch“Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.”
– Matt Groening“‎”Shhh, do you hear that? That’s the sound of forgiveness.”
“That’s the sound of people drowning!”
“That is what forgiveness sounds like. Screaming and then silence.””
– Llamas with Hats“It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.â€
– Oscar Wilde“Remember the quiet wonders. The world has more need of them than it has for warriors.”
– Charles de Lint“What I give form to in daylight is only one per cent of what I have seen in darkness.â€
– M. C. Escher“You can’t have a light without a dark to stick it in.â€
– Arlo Guthrie“Madness does not always howl. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “Hey, is there room in your head for one more?—
“Your father is a superhero. He was bitten by a radioactive man. He now has all the powers of a man. He is called ManMan.—
– Great Lies to Tell Small Children“In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland.â€
– Barney Stinson“It was only after we left the garden that we found the potential for Paradise.â€
“Life occurs in the intersection of conflicting opposites. Accept that life as we know it is fundamentally imperfect, and try to find solace in the permanence of its flux.â€
“I have heard the launguage of the apocalypse, and now I shall embrace the silence.â€
– Neil Gaiman“Life’s a beach. Then you die.”
– Om, Discworld by Terry Pratchett“Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.”
– Kurt Vonnegut“Love is not a victory march/it’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah.”
– Leonard Cohen“It’s that of which those who know do not speak, and those who speak do not know. It’s a stairway afterthought, a realization in retrospect, something you can’t quite put your finger on, something right on the tip of your tongue. It’s a nap in dappled shadows, a warm fire, a perfect cup of tea. It’s Serenity and serendipity, the fabric of space, the color of magic, the unheard melody, the uncarved block, the Unmoved Mover, the Luminiferous Aether, the Void, the Plenum, the Room of Requirement, the Up and Out, the Q Continuum, the Chronosynclastic Infundibulum, the Total Perspective Vortex. It’s the McGuffin, the Horn of Plenty, the Apples of the Hesperides, the Golden Hind, Schrödinger’s cat, the pantheist’s boots, the Philosopher’s Stone. It’s where the elite meet to eat, where the wild things are, where parallel lines cross, where all stars end. It’s Lyonesse and Innisfree and Caras Galadhon, the coast of Bohemia, the wood beyond the world, the second star to the right and straight on till morning.” Or: “It’s a non-real-time natural-language-based virtual environment dedicated to identifying, activating, interconnecting, and training future rulers of the universe.â€
– Robert Coontz“Killing people doesn’t make them love you. It just makes them dead.” ~Voldemort, A Very Potter Musical.
“So we reach into the raging chaos, and we pluck some small glittering thing, and we cling to it, and tell ourselves it has meaning , and that the world is good, and we are not evil, and we will all go home in the end.” ~Lestat de Lioncourt
“Travel halfway across the universe for the greatest sex, and you still end up dying alone.”
– Captain Jack Harkness“We are just too pretty for god to let us die.”
– Mal“Sometimes you wake up. Sometimes the fall kills you. And sometimes when you fall, you fly.”
– Sandman“This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.”
– T. S. Eliot
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6.1
Errata
in June 23rd, 2011 @ 08:17Galileo? Are you sure? I heard it attributed to one Sarah Willams, as part of the poem The Old Astronomer to his Pupil
It’s a beautiful quotation though. Especially with the line right before it, in this poem.Reach me down my Tycho Brahe, I would know him when we meet,
When I share my later science, sitting humbly at his feet;
He may know the law of all things, yet be ignorant of how
We are working to completion, working on from then to now.
Pray remember that I leave you all my theory complete,
Lacking only certain data for your adding, as is meet,
And remember men will scorn it, ’tis original and true,
And the obliquy of newness may fall bitterly on you.But, my pupil, as my pupil you have learned the worth of scorn,
You have laughed with me at pity, we have joyed to be forlorn,
What for us are all distractions of men’s fellowship and smiles;
What for us the Goddess Pleasure with her meretricious smiles.You may tell that German College that their honor comes too late,
But they must not waste repentance on the grizzly savant’s fate.
Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.
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6.1.1
Jadestone
in June 29th, 2011 @ 15:50Hm, where I got it it was attributed to Galileo, but it’s quite possibly a misattribution. I love the line, but I’d never seen this poem before! Thank you for sharing it! I also love the line before it as well
Thanks!
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Jadestone
in June 29th, 2011 @ 16:13Alright so I have been googling this now. I found the wikipedia page for the poem and there’s nothing about that specific line on it (by the way, I don’t know if you know or not, but there are more verses!)
Googling the quote and his name turns up both the poem and it as a single quote attributed to Galileo. Extensive searching for the quote attribution leads to random sites I’m not sure I trust and a pdf file of Carl Sagan’s Cosmos, where he has it attributed to “Tombstone epitaph of two amateur astronomers.” Searching that yields the quote attributed to them but I still can’t really find any context. It’s also someone’s signature on an astronomy forum and also a health/hypochondria message board so there are a lot of unhelpful links to that.
I haven’t been able to figure out anything other than this. Do the GAPA’s have any magical powers that might help here? At this point I am inclined to think it is either the poem, which was then used on the gravestones, or the gravestones gave inspiration for the poem somehow. It would help if we knew when the tombstones were made because we know when the poem was written, but I can’t turn anything up about these mysterious astronomers. I’m leaning towards the poem preceding them though.
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Jadestone
in June 29th, 2011 @ 16:16WAIT I just found it. Just after I post of course.
“Beneath the Keeler Memorial Reflecting Telescope at the Allegheny Observatory in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania, are entombed the remains of John Brashear and his beloved wife Phoebe. Perhaps no single individual ever did more to bring the science and wonder of astronomy to his fellow travlers on “this old, round world” than did John Brashear. His legacy and his charge to make the stars accessible to every man, woman, and child lives on today in the charter of the Amateur Astronomers Association of Pittsburgh. On the plaque which marks the Brashear’s crypt within the pier at Allegheny Observatory, are words slightly paraphrased from a poem by Sarah Williams. These thirteen words have become the motto of the AAAP and more than any others, capture the spirit of the astronomer within us and our motivation to protect and share the wonders of the nighttime sky.”
So! Poem first, but the more popularized version with “we” instead of “I” is more widespread, so it turns up a lot. And information about the astronomers! Who seemed interesting themselves.
At some point someone must have just mistakenly attributed it to Galileo. I must say though, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed this search, and got another great page of space quotes which I will go through and probably post some.
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6.1.1.1.1.1
Axa
in June 29th, 2011 @ 16:52i also found one source (“the stevensons: a biography of an american family) that has adlai stevenson using the quote in a letter about running for president, and estimating based on wiki this would be in wither 1952 or 1956 so that is still unhelpful but i just wanted to throw that out there. it seems like this qupte has been very popular but rarely correctly attributed (or at all!)
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Axa
in June 29th, 2011 @ 16:54oh whoops replied to the wrong one…but yeah i think that’s what happened. i’m kind of sad the poet doesn’t get more credit for her poem, it is so wonderful!
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6.1.1.1.2
Axa
in June 29th, 2011 @ 16:45so, any excuse to practice my google-fu….
a google books copy of “the wild wood” by charles de lint has the quote as an epigram and is sourced as “inscription on a new england tombstone”. According to google books, this phrase appears in 85 books from 1886-2007. the tombstone in question appears to be john brashear’s. this is confusing though because from what i’ve found he died in 1920 and is buried in pennsylvania, which is not really new england. the poem’s publication date seems uncertain although since williams died in 1868 it still predates the tombstone. HMM.
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Jadestone
in June 29th, 2011 @ 21:40Ooh I’ve read that book by de Lint. I don’t remember this quote being in it though. I should reread it.
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6.1.1.1.3
Robert Coontz (Administrator)
in June 29th, 2011 @ 17:01I’ll look into it. If I had to bet one way or the other, I’d say that Sarah Williams wrote the line first, and then other people later misattributed it to Galileo. (Otherwise we’d find an Italian version somewhere.)
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Randomosity101
in June 23rd, 2011 @ 13:36“And we all know that 72% of statistics are just made up on the spot.”
-My Driver’s Ed teacher
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oobatooba
in June 24th, 2011 @ 20:19No, that’s 45% *made up!*
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Rosebud2
in June 25th, 2011 @ 13:22And the other 28% are not intended to be factual statements.
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Randomosity101
in June 25th, 2011 @ 15:29No, no. Only 26% are not intended to be factual. The remaining 2% are merely mistaken.
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Bluefire27
in June 24th, 2011 @ 09:34My sister and I were walking through town one day, and after several hours, we decided to go home. About half a mile from our house, my sister asked if we could go to the Post Office, another quarter-mile out of the way. When I asked why she wanted that, she replied, “I like the Post Office. It smells good.”
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shadowfire
in June 24th, 2011 @ 11:38“Hey, [shadowfire], what’s with the cult rings?”
-My brother. They aren’t.
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Randomosity101
in June 24th, 2011 @ 16:25Today was the last day of the classroom portion of my Driver’s Ed. The second half of the day was a parent-teacher meeting, so we students hung out in the hallway. Two of my classmates and I did a collaborative doodle (that’s what I call it when someone doodles something and we take turns adding to it – like I did with Cskia!) For some reason, collaborative doodles always seem to spark interesting conversation.
E: “So it’s a happy face?”
S: “Yeah.”S: “What’s that?”
Me: “I’m not sure.”
E: “Oh, it’s plugged in.”
Me (still drawing): “I think it’s-”
S: “Is it a toaster?”
Me: “-supposed to be a toaster.”Me: “Oh, so you ARE giving it a rocket after all.”
S: “Yep.”S: “Well, it needs to be plugged into something, so…”
Me: “You plugged it into the side of a doll house?”
S: “Who ever said it’s a doll house?”
Me: “Then that’s a really big toaster.”E: *draws stick figure holding avocado and speaking* “I made the avocado a grenade!”
Me: “But avocados are for making smoothies, not grenades!
E:
S: “Avocado… smoothie?!”
Me:
“Actually, I hate avocados. I just read that online.”Me: “Now the avocado’s part of his tail.”
E: “You made him a devil?”
Me: “Yep. I really wanted to draw a devil.”
E: “You drew a devil, so to even it out I’m gonna draw a ghost.”
Me: “How does a ghost even out a devil?”
E: *pauses* “OK, I’m gonna make it an angel.”S: “So now it has a rocket AND wings?”
E: “Yup.”
S: “And it’s plugged into the side of a house?”
E: “Yup.”
Me: “How it flying if it’s plugged into the side of a house?”
S: “Extension cord.”
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Bluefire27
in July 2nd, 2011 @ 12:09When I saw ‘avocado’ and ‘devil’ together, I immediately thought, ‘devil’s advocate”!
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oobatooba
in June 24th, 2011 @ 20:25“I don’t see why the presence of moisture in the air is any reason to overrule society’s normal, and sensible, taboo against wielding spiked clubs at eye level” -Un Lun Dun, on umbrellas
“I’m reading a book in Spanish! It’s called Un Lun Dun *said with Spanish accent*” -My friend D trying to convince my Spanish teacher that he was reading a “book in Spanish” (Un Lun Dun is very much in English)
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Piggy
in June 24th, 2011 @ 23:38“Why is that guy driving a tractor through the city center at this time of day? And why has he strapped two medieval scimitars to it? Surely a regular plow would be more–hang on a minute, he’s not even dressed like a farmer! And whatever it is he’s screaming sure as hell doesn’t sound like advice on crop rotation or the benefits of organic agriculture! Someone arrest that man!”
–Andy Zaltzman on The Bugle
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Agent Lightning
in June 25th, 2011 @ 13:00I never finish anythi
– a magnet I found
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Enceladus
in June 25th, 2011 @ 20:11“Dogs guard the entrance to the underworld. But cats..”
“Cat’s guard the entrance to the suitcase!”My mother and me, respectively. It made more sense in context (a cat was sitting on my suitcase)
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Rebecca Lasley (Administrator)
in June 25th, 2011 @ 20:21Makes sense to anyone with a cat who has ever packed a suitcase.
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Bibliophile
in June 25th, 2011 @ 22:01It took me quite a while to realize you weren’t talking about cats who pack suitcases. I din’t think that ever happened, but…
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Rebecca Lasley (Administrator)
in June 25th, 2011 @ 22:31Now that I reread my comment, I see what you mean. But I have known cats who could UNpack a suitcase quite efficiently.
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oobatooba
in June 27th, 2011 @ 16:05…but only when you need it packed. When you need it unpacked they just sit on it.
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Rebecca Lasley (Administrator)
in June 27th, 2011 @ 16:07That is Their Way.
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Randomosity101
in June 26th, 2011 @ 07:16Part of an email I sent requesting to bring a certain wonderful hat with me when I visit my mother in California:
“Also, how should I package the hat and explain it to the airline people so they don’t think it’s a time bomb or something?”
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Randomosity101
in June 26th, 2011 @ 15:32SFTDP
This was said just now:
My dad: “All monkeys were harmed in the making of this product.”
Me: “So you harmed EVERY monkey in the WORLD?”
My dad: “Did you hear me say ‘All monkeys were harmed in the making of this product’? Unless I specifically state otherwise, you can assume that I harmed ALL the monkeys in the world. Every last one of them.”We were talking about a video game that had nothing to do with monkeys.
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shadowfire
in June 26th, 2011 @ 18:57My brother strikes again. We were getting ready for the bat mitzvah and complaining about our respective dress clothing.
Me: But at least you get pockets. I can’t carry anything with me.
Brother: That’s what purses are for.
Me: I don’t like purses.
Brother: Yeah, but you aren’t a girl.
Me. …
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Insatiably Quaeritating Bibliophile
in June 26th, 2011 @ 21:30Did he misspeak, or is he just like my dad who never makes any sense?
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Randomosity101
in June 27th, 2011 @ 08:27I thought that by that he meant shadowfire wasn’t girly. As in, she doesn’t like purses because she isn’t girly, but if she would just carry one she wouldn’t need to complain about not having pockets.
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Rebecca Lasley (Administrator)
in June 27th, 2011 @ 08:58I’d rather have pockets.
*insert vague curses against the fashion industry here*
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Randomosity101
in June 27th, 2011 @ 09:40Oh, I entirely agree. *absolutely loathes the fashion industry* I just think that’s what he meant.
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Rebecca Lasley (Administrator)
in June 27th, 2011 @ 09:57Understood. Just making an aside. (And also putting in a vote of support for girls who are not “girly.”)
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Princess_Magnolia
in June 27th, 2011 @ 09:58Pockets, and comfortable shorts. I ask you, why are girls condemned to wear uncomfortable shorts all summer if they don’t wear skirts? WHY?
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shadowfire
in June 27th, 2011 @ 10:43Skirts are comfy. Mind you, I rarely wear skirts that aren’t knee-length or longer, so I can’t say much about that. But yes, pockets are better. I like pockets.
And no, I don’t think he misspoke. He just says things like that sometimes. (He later altered it to “real” girl, but this version is funnier))
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bookgirl_me
in June 27th, 2011 @ 12:21But shorts are amazing! They have pockets, you can do impromptu cartwheels and capoeira moves without worrying about your underwear showing and they don’t cover your knees so it’s harder to get grass stains on them.
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oobatooba
in June 27th, 2011 @ 16:08Why be a victim of the fashion industry? Personally, half of my clothing was intended for the other gender.
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Armada
in June 30th, 2011 @ 11:23It is very difficult to do capoeira in a skirt.
I believe that I have not worn a skirt or a dress since I was… what, eight? Actually, being in The Winter’s Tale as two female (skirt-wearing) characters is a bit difficult for me, since I feel like I literally have to train myself to move like a girl… there’s one scene where I have to run onstage, and I thank the gods that my skirt is at least loose enough to allow me to do so. (The shoes are a whole nother story, but I guess if I fall flat on my face it won’t be as big a disaster as if it was a different character… XD)
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bookgirl_me
in July 1st, 2011 @ 05:37Good luck
I sort of have no middle ground. Either shorts and t-shirts or cocktail dresses.
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Jadestone
in June 27th, 2011 @ 13:19Re: Pockets/uncomfortable shorts: I basically LIVE in athletic shorts over the summer. They have both reasonably-sized pockets (I bought all mine when I was playing varsity tennis, and each pocket can fit two tennis balls) AND are super comfortable, since they’re made out of nice cloth and semi loose-fitting. I recommend the Adidas brand since sometimes it’s hard to find brands with pockets even for athletic shorts.
But seriously. They’re not formal-looking at all but they are acceptable to go out in and really comfortable, and since they’re made for exercising in they keep you relatively cool.
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oobatooba
in June 27th, 2011 @ 16:14Me-“I am sitting on a 7-foot-long beanbag, listening to David Bowie, wearing a fez and writing comics that involve translating Monty Python quotations into newspeak. And I’m just doing it so I could say that I can say I was sitting on a 7-foot-long beanbag, listening to David Bowie, wearing a fez and writing comics that involve translating Monty Python quotations into newspeak.”
Nym- “I think you just won life.”
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Zinc
in June 27th, 2011 @ 16:53“The wonderful thing about Piglet is he’s frightened of everything and yet he still goes out and faces the world alongside his friends.â€
– Travis Oates, voice of Piglet
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Rainbow*Storm
in June 29th, 2011 @ 16:36“Winnie the Pooh: compulsive eater. Tigger: ADHD. Eeyore: depression. Christopher Robin: schizophrenia. AP Psychology is ruining my childhood.” – Something on another website
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SilverLeopard
in June 29th, 2011 @ 08:53“Sick minds think alike.” – my brother
“The more I study, the more I know. The more I know, the more I forget. The more I forget, the less I know. So why study?” – the mousepad in the office back home (I’m pretty sure it was from Oxford University.)
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Jadestone
in June 29th, 2011 @ 17:06“Mortal as I am, I know that I am born for a day. But when I follow at my pleasure the serried multitude of the stars in their circular course, my feet no longer touch the earth.”
– Ptolemy,c.150 AD“The world is my country, and science is my religion.”
– Christian Huygens, 17th century Dutch astronomer“Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. And, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand. It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics: You are all stardust. You couldn’t be here if the stars hadn’t exploded, because the elements–the carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, iron, all the things that matter for evolution and life–weren’t created at the beginning of time. They were created in the nuclear furnaces of stars, and the only way for them to get into your body is if the stars were kind enough to explode. So, forget Jesus. The stars died so that you could be here today.”
– Lawrence KraussFrom now on, we live in a world where man has walked on the moon. It wasn’t a miracle, we just decided to go.
– Jim Lovell,”Apollo 13″“When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.”
– Arthur C. Clarke’s First Law“But the only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.”
– Clarke’s Second Law“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.”
– Clarke’s Third Law
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KaiYves
in June 29th, 2011 @ 21:21All great ones!
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Bluefire27
in July 2nd, 2011 @ 12:17On the last quote: youtube “sbemail technology” and it will give a Strong Bad Email about technology. It’s pretty much the last quote, only expanded.
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Piggy
in June 30th, 2011 @ 15:00“A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.”
–Robert A. Heinlein
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Bibliophile
in June 30th, 2011 @ 15:09What about the humans who specialize in insects?
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Robert Coontz (Administrator)
in June 30th, 2011 @ 16:20There’s no school in the world that will teach you to do all of that. Except on a lonely islet off the southern coast of Iceland…
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23.3
Choklit Orange
in June 30th, 2011 @ 16:52I can do exactly eight of those. Well, in theory I can butcher a hog, having watched my uncle do it several times, but I don’t plan to try it.
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23.3.1
Bibliophile
in June 30th, 2011 @ 17:46I doubt I could do so many… Well, let’s see. I admit I don’t know how to change a diaper, although I could easily learn. I can easily plan an invasion, but I can’t do it well, so I’ll give myself half a point. I can’t do the next 3, but I can design a building, which is 2 1/2, and I unfortunately don’t know how to write a sonnet, but I can balance accounts and build a small wall, which is 4 1/2, and I can’t set a bone, but I can do all the others except fighting efficiently and computer programming, so that makes… 14?! And here I thought it was asking way too much. But I can do other things, too! I think most people can.
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23.3.1.1
Bibliophile
in June 30th, 2011 @ 23:43*13 1/2. I’m not sure how I made that sort of double error–first I accidentally thought I could do one more thing than I did, than 1/2 less than that, so I was half-off. I’m not sure what that says about my ability to solve act alone, solve an equation, and analyze a new problem, though…
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23.3.2
bookgirl_me
in July 1st, 2011 @ 05:43I’ve never tried to butcher a hog before, but I think if I was hungry enough I’d manage… I’m not sure about programming a computer and I can’t say I’ve had any experience in dying gallantly, but I’m confident that I’ll learn eventually.
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23.4
Pseudonym
in June 30th, 2011 @ 18:42I can do none of those. Except solve equations, unless they’re hard. So yeah, none.
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23.5
ZNZ
in June 30th, 2011 @ 20:07I can: take orders, give orders, act alone, solve equations [if they aren’t too hard], and analyze a new problem. And, well – do pancakes count as a tasty meal? Because that and sandwiches are pretty much the extent of my repertoire.
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23.6
Agent Lightning
in July 7th, 2011 @ 09:27I can change a diaper, build a wall, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze new problems, cook,… I can fight and die, but not efficently or gallantly.
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24
Bibliophile
in June 30th, 2011 @ 20:37I can’t believe how many of you can’t build a wall. All you have to do is take 2 things and stack them!
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24.1
ZNZ
in July 1st, 2011 @ 06:51Any two things?
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24.1.1
Bibliophile
in July 1st, 2011 @ 10:56Yes! He never said it had to be a functioning wall or even a visible one!
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24.1.1.1
ZNZ
in July 1st, 2011 @ 17:27Right then. *places book atop pillow*
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25
Jadestone
in June 30th, 2011 @ 23:22“Old stories are like old friends, she used to say. You have to visit them from time to time.”
– Bran, speaking of Old Nan, in George R. R. Martin’s A Storm of Swords
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26
Bibliophile
in July 1st, 2011 @ 11:05“I wish you’d just stop falling already! It’s so annoying! And I wish you could hear me, and I really wish you had the mental capacity to understand what I’m saying! It would be an enormous help! But please, just stay still, towel! And you, rack! And especially you, towel rack!”
–Me
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27
shadowfire
in July 1st, 2011 @ 12:05“From what I remember of the man he is probably impersonating Adolf Hitler, having thrown the original, wrapped in wire netting with a couple of flagstones as anchor, down the well of somebody he doesn’t like. ”
-A Toast to Tomorrow (which is a rather excellent 1940 mystery novel my friend lent me)
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28
Jadestone
in July 2nd, 2011 @ 19:08“The night is dark, and full of terrors.”
– A Song of Fire and Ice
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29
Radiant_Darkness
in July 3rd, 2011 @ 23:57“Any editorial judgment in news, or schools, or movies, that doesn’t favor the conservative view is elitism and is evidence of liberal bias. Whereas any editorial judgment that favors the conservative view is evidence of merely fairness and done to protect them from liberal bias. And, if you criticize Fox for this game, guess what that’s evidence of? How right they are about how persecuted they are. It is airtighter than an otter’s [heinie]. . . . They can’t lose.”
Jon Stewart, on Fox News.
Or, as I like to call it, Faux News.
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30
axa
in July 4th, 2011 @ 21:52“Thomas Jefferson survives.”
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30.1
Piggy
in July 5th, 2011 @ 00:54ZOMBIE JEFFERSON
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31
shadowfire
in July 5th, 2011 @ 10:38“It’s just an interesting observation. In a, y’know, observationally interesting way.”
-Sam Winchester, Supernatural episode 13
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32
Piggy
in July 8th, 2011 @ 12:55“I could end the deficit in 5 minutes. You just pass a law that says that anytime there is a deficit of more than 3% of GDP all sitting members of Congress are ineligible for reelection.â€
–Warren Buffett
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33
Agent Lightning
in July 9th, 2011 @ 16:50Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.
Kurt VonnegutSo we were looking for quotes for a friend’s birthday card, and I went on the Quotations thread in MB to find some.
Odie: Stop! Scroll back up!
Me: (scrolling back up) What?
Odie: That person used the word “cake.”
Me: So?…
Odie: But you use the word “cake”.
Me: Yeah, I got it from here.
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34
Randomosity101
in July 14th, 2011 @ 19:43At theater camp (which is halfway over :():
Relating to the play we’re doing~
Me: “Hey, Hilary, you make a great Benvolio!”
Hilary: “Oh, thank you! You make a great Louie Anderson!”Katie: “So Winifred’s a Capague.”
Me: “No, wait, isn’t she a Monulet? I mean, she did marry Romeo.”
Katie: “Well, Juliet’s technically a Montague, so yeah.”Me: “Use your snobby voice!”
Steven: “Huh. I didn’t notice this little cut on my finger.”
Other People at Table (including me): “Nurse, he has a paper cut!!”Not relating to the play, but still in theater camp~
Kyle: “So what’s your group name?”
My group: “We’re the Thunder Duck Pies.”
*leaders crack up laughing*
Kyle: “Maya, I see your fingerprints all over that one.”
Me: “Hey! I’m the one who came up with the ‘Pies’!”Thor: “So should I give her the book?”
Other people in circle: “Yes.”
Steven: “No, she’s already dead.”
(I “died of thirst” to convince Thor to give me the book. It worked.)Tim: “If I die, you’d laugh. But when she dies, it’s scary”
(He was referring to my dying theatrics.)Various people at camp: “Blame it on the government!”
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34.1
Sophia
in August 20th, 2011 @ 21:53Did you do Romeo and Winnifred? We did that play! I was Prologue 1.
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34.1.1
Randomosity101
in August 21st, 2011 @ 08:02Yes! That’s awesome, Sophia!
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35
Armada
in July 15th, 2011 @ 22:13“If God hadn’t wanted us to practice our splits, He wouldn’t have invented floors.”
“Wait, you mean we’re not allowed to sexually harass people?”
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36
fireandhemlock1996
in July 16th, 2011 @ 11:46Lis: “It’s been ten years since 2001!”
Everyone else: “…” *bursts out laughing*
Lis: “What? It’s true… Oh.” *facepalm*Me: “Kaboom!”
Ty: “Kabam!”
Me: “Kaploosh!”
Ty: “Kapow!”
Me: “MAGICAL BOOMERANG HAMMER!”
Everyone else: o.O “What?”
Ty: “KABAM.”Ty: “Guten Tag, pass it on.”
Me: “Guten Tag, pass it on.”
Lis: “Guten Tag, pass it on.”
Millee: “Nope.”
Me: “HEY AV! GUTEN TAG!”
Av: “Uhh… What’s up?”
Me&Ty: “No, it’s ‘Was machèn zie?’, silly!”
Av: “Yeah, that.”
Lis: “How do you say goodbye in German?”
Millee: “Eidelweiss!”
Me: *facepalm* “Eidelweiss is a flower, Millee.”Millee: “What’s the difference between a skirt and a dress, anyway?”
Me: “You are such a boy, Millee.”
Lis: “That’s because he IS a boy.”Millee: “We went to chick filet, lol”
Nat: “Chick filet??”
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36.1
Bibliophile
in July 16th, 2011 @ 15:58It’s edelweiss. I love my new dictionary.
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36.2
Cat's Meow
in July 19th, 2011 @ 13:28I don’t understand the first one. Can you explain it to me?
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36.2.1
fireandhemlock1996
in July 19th, 2011 @ 15:28Well, obviously 2011 is ten years after 2001. It was funny, cause Lis said it as though it were a brilliant, entirely new discovery.
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37
Agent Lightning
in July 16th, 2011 @ 16:37Bandcamp quotes
“Well, since you hit your head on that tree, I won’t cut off your legs now.”“Is your armor tye-dyed?”
Girls down hall: *singing to Justin Bieber*
Flute: Okay, that’s it. *plays Star Wars on iPod speakers*
Everyone: Bum, bum bumm, buuuuuuum, bumbumbum BUUUUUM bummmmmmmmm….
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38
Randomosity101
in July 19th, 2011 @ 01:06-36 *is quite literally laughing out loud*
-37 Your band camp sounds awesome!
Quotes from WesterCon:
“If you’ve never tripped over a fire hydrant or apologized to a lamp post, you do not read enough!”
-An awesome T-shirt for saleMe: “So how many hugs did you get on Hug a Band Geek Day?”
M: “There’s a ‘Hug a Band Geek Day’?! When is it??”R: *laughs maniacally*
Me: “Woah. That’s the best maniacal laugh I’ve ever heard! What are you, a gremlin?”
R: “Yep, I am one third gremlin.”M: *inquiring about S’s costume* “Are you Jesus?”
S: *in a manner suggesting he had been asked this several times* “No, I’m not Jesus.”
R: “Really? Because you look like-”
S: “No! I’m not Jesus!”
Me: *has been staring incredulously at M and R this entire time* “He’s a wandering White Mage. Duh!”
S: “See! She gets it!”More quotes from theater camp:
Kyle: “Get your lyrics out.”
*group gets out copies of the lyrics to “Just Can’t Wait to be King”*
Me: *doesn’t get out lyrics*
Dude in front of me: “Do you need a copy of the lyrics?”
Me: “No, I have it memorized.”
S: “You must have seen the movie a lot of times.”
Me: “Not really. Only fifteen or so, if you include the time I saw the musical version.”
S: *quietly walks back to his spot*
(I don’t get this one. Fifteen times isn’t all that many, is it??)
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39
Cat's Meow
in July 19th, 2011 @ 13:29“Cheese Con Queso: $2.99” — a sign at Rosauers
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39.1
Armada
in July 19th, 2011 @ 17:22I can’t quite decide whether that’s an epic win or an epic fail….
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39.1.1
Cat's Meow
in July 19th, 2011 @ 18:54I think it was an epic fail, considering the product they were selling was actually “Salsa Con Queso”.
*requests convoluted explanation for post 40*
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39.1.1.1
Armada
in July 20th, 2011 @ 11:17Okay, then yes, that is an epic fail.
Explanation available as a reply to Ducky, just down thataway a bit.
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39.2
KaiYves
in July 20th, 2011 @ 13:37“Cheese With Cheese”. Yeah, that’s a fail.
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40
Armada
in July 19th, 2011 @ 17:24“Hang on, do you mean Bohemia as in the country or Bohemia as in Pete had a sex change?”
(Somewhat convoluted explanation available upon request.)
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40.1
Ducky
in July 19th, 2011 @ 19:18Explanation, please. XD
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40.1.1
Armada
in July 20th, 2011 @ 11:16Okay, so it involves the fact that the Hebrew languages has gendered verbs, as well as gendered everything else. My mom talks to me in Hebrew normally, and I answer her in English.
So we were discussing one of my Winter’s Tale shownights, and how almost all of the people from Bohemia (one of the two countries which the play takes place in) were tired, and she said: “Bohemia hayta ayefa ha’erev,” or “Bohemia was[feminine] tired[feminine] tonight.” I was wondering whether she was referring to Bohemia as in the country collectively (I guess countries are female in Hebrew?), or as in Pete [not his real name], who plays Polixenes, king of Bohemia, often textually referred to as just Bohemia. And who is, er, male as far as I know.
Her answer, by the way, was “Who’s Pete?” XD
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41
KaiYves
in July 21st, 2011 @ 21:07“You can’t copyright something that actually happened.” – Me, to someone at my internship, talking about why there are often many history books about a single event.
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42
Cat's Meow
in July 22nd, 2011 @ 14:16“EAT WOLF! They gotta taste like Elk” — a bumper sticker I saw
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43
Randomosity101
in July 22nd, 2011 @ 22:51“I love “Romeo and Winifred”! I mean, it has Shakespeare, a pie fight, AND doughnuts – all in the same play! It must be one of the most Muserly plays ever!”
-Me (Yeah, I was overexcited.)“So [my name] had vegetables and [my old nickname] had – I mean [my sister] had potatoes.”
-My grandmother. So apparently I’m two people?
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44
Armada
in July 24th, 2011 @ 17:11“You speak French?”
“Pas vraiment, j’ai un petit gadget installe dans mon cerveau et je vois des sous-titres sous les personnes quand elles parlent.”
(‘Not really, I had a small gadget installed in my brain and I see subtitles under people when they speak.)
-Apparently this is from a Canadian film called Bon Cop Bad Cop? I found it on TVtropes, so I don’t know…Sorry for all the short posts on here, I suppose I could save up all my quotes somewhere else and post them at monthly intervals, but…
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45
shadowfire
in July 24th, 2011 @ 18:07Overheard at the airport:
“Where’re you headed?”
“Chicago.”
“On purpose?”
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45.1
Jadestone
in August 5th, 2011 @ 00:23Oh god the Chicago airport can be hell
it’s just
so many people
x_x
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45.1.1
Robert Coontz (Administrator)
in August 5th, 2011 @ 02:25It used to have a good brachiosaur skeleton, though.
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45.1.1.1
shadowfire
in August 25th, 2011 @ 12:09Aww, it’s gone? I haven’t been there in years, but I loved that thing.
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45.1.1.1.1
Robert Coontz (Administrator)
in August 25th, 2011 @ 13:24I’m not sure it’s gone. I said “used to” because I haven’t been there for years and can’t swear that it’s still there. It might have gone back to the Field Museum.
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45.1.1.1.1.1
shadowfire
in August 25th, 2011 @ 13:48Ah, I see.
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45.1.1.1.1.2
Jadestone
in August 25th, 2011 @ 17:09No no it’s still there! Or was as of a few weeks ago at least. I suppose that is one redeeming factor
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46
Rainbow*Storm
in July 24th, 2011 @ 21:42“You shouldn’t claim to be ‘gangster’ if your song includes a ukelele.”
“Mythbusters: Four guys and a girl blow stuff up in the name of science.”
“‘Barack’ means ‘lightning’ in Hebrew. His name is LIGHTNING OBAMA!”
– TvTropes
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47
shadowfire
in July 25th, 2011 @ 13:41Ian: Where did you get hold of this?
The Doctor: My fiancée.
Ian: I see. …Your what?
The Doctor: Yes, I made some cocoa and got engaged.
-The Aztecs
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48
Shadowkat
in July 26th, 2011 @ 08:03“I love quoting myself.”
-Myself“As long as people are going to call you a lunatic anyway, why not get the benefit of it? It liberates you from convention.”
-Elphaba Thropp, Wicked“I’m Southern. I’m racist by nature.”
-Jake“It’s like a zombie apocalypse; there’s no going back.”
-TJ“They should’ve gone at each other like a Peruvian soccer team stranded in the Andes.”
-Dr. Jack Hodgins
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49
Enceladus
in July 27th, 2011 @ 19:35Star Trek, TOS. Operation Annihilate!
McCoy- “I’ve tried intense heat, up to 9,000 degrees”
Me- “But did you go OVER 9000?!!!!!!”
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50
Randomosity101
in July 28th, 2011 @ 16:11In chat:
Ducky: “I hope the judge for the educational displays is the same one from last year, because I put a lot of glitter on that…..
:lol:”Me: ” :lol:”
Ducky: “Just on the title, though..”
Me: “So… Hope to cake the judge is Edward Cullen?”
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51
*Cskia
in July 29th, 2011 @ 00:48“I don’t want to go to Paris because there the boys kiss girls on the arm if they think they look pretty. And that’s disgusting” -a 9-year-old girl in our day Camp
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52
ZNZ
in July 29th, 2011 @ 21:33“GIVE THE SAD BABY THE SCISSORS.” – my aunt and I
“It’s all the scoring of soccer and all the excitement of cricket.” – my uncle, talking about baseball
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53
Alice
in August 4th, 2011 @ 23:45“What are you doing in the bushes?”
“I’ve rejected the world.”
“What’s the toaster for?”
“Well, I haven’t rejected toast.”Buttercup Festival (THANK YOU JADE)
I should go to sleep…but webcomics….
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53.1
Jadestone
in August 5th, 2011 @ 00:14LOVE LOVE LOVE
“SPOT ME SOME BREAD?”
Also this one:
“A deep forest! No better place to wander on a bleak february afternoon.
Hey, look at that–carrots for sale.
Wait… I think this is just a supermarket.”
“Ma I help you, sir?”
“A FOREST MONSTER”I love these so much, seriously.
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54
Piggy
in August 6th, 2011 @ 16:20“The major problem — one of the major problems, for there are several — one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them. To summarize: it is a well known fact that those people who most want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem.”
Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, Chapter 28
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55
Agent Lightning
in August 8th, 2011 @ 14:19“Hot pink bunnies are cute!” – my five year old sister
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55.1
Bibliophile
in August 8th, 2011 @ 17:00
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55.1.1
Agent Lightning
in August 8th, 2011 @ 17:59Exactly what I said.
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55.1.2
ZNZ
in August 8th, 2011 @ 20:24They kind of are, though.
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55.1.2.1
Bibliophile
in August 8th, 2011 @ 21:31NO, THEY ARE NOT. *sprays with depigmentizer* I’m really sorry you’re sort of an albino now, but it was necessary…
It’s really terrible that they’re indoctrinating our young children with this nonsense. Speaking of which, she hasn’t read Fluffy the Pink Bunny, has she? That would be tragic. You really need to tell her that it’s evil and wrong in every way and that she needs to stop believing that HPBs have any positive qualities other than intelligenceor her individuality will be lost and she’ll be forced to harm those she loves. Okay, that last bit may be going a bit too far, but still.
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55.1.2.1.1
ZNZ
in August 9th, 2011 @ 07:20What about determination? That’s a positive quality, and from what I understand the HPBs have it.
Also cuteness is a positive quality. ‘Nuff said.
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55.1.2.1.1.1
Bibliophile
in August 9th, 2011 @ 12:20Determination to do something evil is not a positive quality. And a glamour of false cuteness to lure the foolish is a very negative thing.
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55.1.2.1.1.2
KaiYves
in August 9th, 2011 @ 12:41They have qualities that would be admirable if used towards positive ends, but they never use those qualities in such a way.
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56
Koko's Apprentice
in August 9th, 2011 @ 14:30“It does no good to dwell on dreams…” Albus Dumbledore, Book 1.
“The idea for Twilight came to me in a dream” Stephanie Meyer
Dumbledore has spoken!
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56.1
Bibliophile
in August 9th, 2011 @ 20:19A lot of really good stories were originally dreams, though. I’ve dreamt a few myself that would be quite decent with just a few modifications and really good writing. I’m not saying Twilight is good (I haven’t read it, so I actually have no idea; all I know is that I don’t like romance and thus probably wouldn’t like Twilight, and there’s also the fact that almost no-one whose taste is remotely similar to mine likes it); I’m saying that there are stories with that particular detail in common with Twilight that are very good.
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57
oobatooba
in August 10th, 2011 @ 09:17“[ooba] I really hate it when you use Wesley Crusher as an insult.”
-This was my brother, in an actual screaming fight we got into over the ownership of a handmade pottery Dalek. We are such geeks.
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58
Agent Lightning
in August 12th, 2011 @ 13:19Botched Explanations #334:
“The Garlics were gathering their troops for war!”
– My sister
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58.1
KaiYves
in August 12th, 2011 @ 13:28Reminds me of something my brother once said: “Potato angry.”
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58.1.1
Agent Lightning
in August 12th, 2011 @ 13:43Cake, that should be pronunciations, not explanations. Oh well.
Wait, was your brother refering to the Daleks, too?
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58.1.1.1
KaiYves
in August 12th, 2011 @ 14:42No, no. He drew a potato with a face and wrote (sic) “potatoe” next to it. I told him that wasn’t how to spell “potato”, and he drew angry eyebrows and fangs on the potato and told me “Potato angry.”
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59
Rainbow*Storm
in August 12th, 2011 @ 22:19“I practiced looking cool too much and hit my head on the mirror.”
– Hetalia
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60
ZNZ
in August 14th, 2011 @ 16:30“It’s a haiku, not a doctoral dissertation!” – Mum
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61
Randomosity101
in August 21st, 2011 @ 08:31Brother 1: “Dear dumb diary,”
Brother 2: “You are never safe without a towel.”(The younger of my brothers was reading Dear Dumb Diary and apparently the older one decided that that would be the perfect thing to interject.)
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62
shadowfire
in August 25th, 2011 @ 12:12Jo: You ripped off a cement truck?
Dean: I’ll give it back.
Supernatural, “No Exit”
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63
Jadestone
in August 25th, 2011 @ 17:12“Long days and pleasant nights.”
– Stephan King’s Gunslinger series
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64
Agent Lightning
in August 27th, 2011 @ 11:04“Science has achieved some wonderful things, of course, but I’d far rather be happy than right any day.”
–The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
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ZNZ
in August 30th, 2011 @ 16:49“So maybe you’re afraid of a hippo… covered in caterpillars?”
– someone on a radio show, guessing at the definition of “hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia.”
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66
bookgirl_me
in August 31st, 2011 @ 12:20“I have a firm grip on reality: now I can strangle it.”
“You spend your whole life believing that you’re on the right track, only to discover that you’re on the wrong train.”-the internet
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67
Rainbow*Storm
in August 31st, 2011 @ 13:17“It’s hard to look cool in tweed.”
“We’re all going crazy. You and me and the flying green bunny.”
– Me
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67.1
Agent Lightning
in September 4th, 2011 @ 12:05Green?
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68
Randomosity101
in September 3rd, 2011 @ 17:06“I’m gonna blow you up with a mushroom to see what the taunt is, OK?”
-Me, to my brother (And yes, it made perfect sense in context.)
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69
Zinc
in September 3rd, 2011 @ 18:51“So, how does the west coast feel about Irene?”
“Oh, that? We’re still laughing over your silly little ‘earthquake.'”-(paraphrased from) Wait, wait, Don’t tell me (today’s)
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70
shadowfire
in September 4th, 2011 @ 02:18“Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.”
-Frank Zappa
Mystery quote:
“What’s with you and falling off cliffs today?”
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71
Randomosity101
in September 4th, 2011 @ 11:3869- That was essentially my exact reaction too. Then again, I am from the west coast, despite my current location…
70- That first quote is soo true.
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72
Agent Lightning
in September 4th, 2011 @ 12:07“Because they totally wore strapless dresses in Jane Austen’s time…”
“My chickens are ALL going to hatch, and they are ALL going to play the Sousaphone.”
-Me. And yes, that second one made sense in context.
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73
ZNZ
in September 4th, 2011 @ 12:57“The puffin is Darth Vader?” – Me
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74
Ghost of Pie Girl
in September 4th, 2011 @ 14:10Friend: What’s wrong?
Me: Well, it all started when Justin Beaver started singing, and then it all when downhill from there.
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74.1
Tesseract
in September 4th, 2011 @ 19:54What is Justice Beaver?
He’s… it’s a crime-fighting beaver.
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74.1.1
Rainbow*Storm
in September 4th, 2011 @ 20:39I suddenly had the mental image of a beaver in a purple hoodie, wielding a microphone and yelling “FOR JUSTICEEE!”
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74.1.2
KaiYves
in September 5th, 2011 @ 18:56That would be a fun webcomic.
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SilverLeopard
in September 4th, 2011 @ 21:32Guess which movie I’ve been watching lately:
~”Life is pain. Anyone who tells you differently is trying to sell something.”
~”Don’t rush a miracle man. You get rotten miracles.”
~”Have fun storming the castle!”
~”Are you sure nobody’s following us?”
“I told you, it’s absolutely, utterly, and in all other ways, inconcievable! *momentary silence* Out of curiousity, why do you ask?”
“Oh, I just look behind us and I happen to notice that something is there.”And my favorite HP quote:
“‘Of course this is in your head, Harry, but why on Earth should that mean it is not really?'”
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75.1
Agent Lightning
in September 5th, 2011 @ 09:16happening?”
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Bibliophile
in October 12th, 2011 @ 21:28really?
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Randomosity101
in September 5th, 2011 @ 13:15My brother: “What do you want?”
My response: “Not in the pantry.”(Yes, this made perfect sense to both of us, and no, this was not part of a conversation. It was the entire conversation.)
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LittleBasementKitten
in September 5th, 2011 @ 17:21Rango: “Is this heaven?”
Man with No Name: “if it were, we’d be eating Pop Tarts with Kim Novak.”This line never fails to make me laugh.
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ZNZ
in September 5th, 2011 @ 17:45Little girl: In heaven, we’ll never have to comb our hair.
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Bibliophile
in October 12th, 2011 @ 21:30WHERE IS THAT FROM IT IS EXACTLY SOMETHING I WOULD SAY I WANT TO LOOK AT THAT NOW
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ZNZ
in November 12th, 2011 @ 06:33It was a real little girl, I’m afraid. Sorry.
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Koko's Apprentice
in September 5th, 2011 @ 22:02| | } Air
|_____| }
| | }
|_____| } WaterTechnically, the glass is always full!
~anonymous
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78.1
Koko's Apprentice
in September 5th, 2011 @ 22:54Well that didn’t turn out that well… It’s a cup, for those of you who are confused…
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Piggy
in September 5th, 2011 @ 23:23Try using (a non-breaking space) next time.
| | } Air
|_____| }
| | }
|_____| } Water
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oobatooba
in September 6th, 2011 @ 07:14“That cat wasn’t human!”-H an friend of mine with a talent for generating this sort of thing.
“I looked outside my window, and saw an airplane standing perfectly still in front of my house. ‘Now boarding’ said professor Dire from the open door of the plane. I ran up to him. ‘well’ he said ‘are you coming?’ ‘where?’ I asked him. ‘Why, to the plane of Leng on the south pole, of course,’ was his answer. ‘this is the Antarctic Express”
-The antarctic express, a parody of the polar express and a certain Lovecraft story…
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Rainbow*Storm
in September 6th, 2011 @ 12:02“My hair isn’t working!” – Me, when my hair was sticking up weird
“9 out of 10 voices in your head tell you you’re not crazy, and the tenth is humming the Tetris theme song.” – The internet
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Agent Lightning
in September 6th, 2011 @ 18:11Thanks, now I can never play Tetris again.
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Randomosity101
in September 6th, 2011 @ 20:11“Even demigods like a cookie!”
-My brother
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Thanks For All The Fish42
in September 6th, 2011 @ 20:52“Life was like that. There were Lucky Strikes and there were Sloths; there were Jackson Boys and there were lucky bastards like him. Different sides of the same coin. You tossed your luck in the air and it rattled down on the gambling boards and you either lived or died.â€
– Ship Breaker
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ZNZ
in September 7th, 2011 @ 18:45Courtesy of English class:
“Uncle Jeff is my pedigree.”
“Doctor Seuss is not a secret plot.”
OH NINTH GRADE.
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Randomosity101
in September 7th, 2011 @ 20:12In Latin class:
Me:
“Who drew that?!?”
Person Sitting Next to Me: “I don’t know.”
Me: “That’s disturbing… Please tell me it’s not just that color because there’s no pink marker…”
PSNM: “The rabbit’s looking over a brick wall.”
Me: “Yeah, it’s looking over the remains of the wall it just blew up!”
(I have BA:R on the brain. The bunny was drawn on the board by someone who had written a sentence there for homework corrections.)During auditions for the school play (during a break):
(I think this should be numbered.)1. K: *sings*
2. Me: *shakes K by the shoulders* “Shut-” *cracks up laughing* “Shut up already!”
3. K: *cracks up laughing at about the same time*
4. Both: *stop laughing*
5. K:*starts singing again*
6. Me: *shakes K again* “Shut up-” *cracks up laughing again* “Shut up already!*
7. (3 to 4 repeats)
8. Me: “OK, I can’t do that with a straight face. I have tried twice, and twice I have failed.”
9. (5 to 6, then 3 to 4 repeat.)
10. Me: “I bet we look like complete nutjobs right now.”
11. K: “Let’s ask him. Hey [forgot name], what do you think?”
12. Guy Sitting Behind Us: “What? I wasn’t paying attention.”
13. K: “We wanted to know if we-”
14. GSBU: “Oh that. Yeah, you guys are insane.”
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KaiYves
in September 8th, 2011 @ 10:22“If we built a railgun all along the roof of the College of Arts and Sciences building, we could shoot something all the way to the Common.” – An Engineering major at last night’s astronomy club meeting.
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ZNZ
in September 13th, 2011 @ 20:46“Or invent your own fractal curve, so that you can be cool like Hilbert, who was like, “Mathmatics? Pff. I’m gonna invent meta-mathmatics like a boss.” – Vi Hart
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ZNZ
in September 15th, 2011 @ 17:24“And King Philip II was really Catholic. I know there are a lot of Catholics in here. King Philip II was ten times as Catholic as all of you put together and your parents.” – history teacher
French student: *presenting French menu she’s made with pictures cut from magazines* “Et les desserts…”
French teacher: *points to picture* “What is that?”
French student: “It’s a donut.”
French teacher: “C’est un saucisson.” (It’s a sausage.)
French student: “Oh. It looked like a donut to me.”English teacher: “And who started the UN?”
English student: *confidently* “The United Nations.”
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Piggy
in September 15th, 2011 @ 18:22“May He support us all the day long, till the shades lengthen and the evening comes, and the busy world is hushed, and the fever of life is over, and our work is done. Then in His mercy may He give us a safe lodging, and a holy rest and peace at the last.”
–From Sermon #20 (“Wisdom and Innocence”) by Bl. John Henry Newman
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bookgirl_me
in September 16th, 2011 @ 08:43“I’m kind of like Yoda in the prequels: I follow you around, then stand next to you and look confused.”
-Me. Context is everything.
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Agent Lightning
in September 16th, 2011 @ 12:16Friend: “Jane Eyre ate a pear, while flying…”
Me: “In the air?”
Friend: “Like a bear.”“Big Brother is watching me read Jane Eyre?”
Guess what book I’m reading right now.
“It was kind of shady and mysterious…” Me, on the new school discipline (sorry, Positive Interactions) system.
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oobatooba
in September 17th, 2011 @ 06:56“Now, [ooba], lets be reasonable. It’s just alligators in space…”
Oh, I have such wonderful friends!
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shadowfire
in September 17th, 2011 @ 15:01Twilight: “Now what do we do?”
Fluttershy: “Uh, panic?”
Rainbow Dash: “That’s your answer for everything.”
-Suited for Success
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Piggy
in September 17th, 2011 @ 15:25I’m so happy that more people are watching My Little Pony.
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shadowfire
in September 17th, 2011 @ 16:07I’m happy that there are some people who won’t look at me funny for watching it.
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POSOC
in September 18th, 2011 @ 00:45Almost everybody I know watches it. You’re definitely not alone.
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Piggy
in September 18th, 2011 @ 12:15Lucky. Other than the few people I’ve converted (a family friend, my sister (and indirectly her boyfriend), a few MuseBloggers), I don’t know anyone that watches it. Although yesterday when I was eating dinner by myself, some guy I’ve never seen before came up to me and said, “High five, brony.” (I was wearing a MLP shirt.)
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Enceladus
in October 16th, 2011 @ 07:09…I’m so happy that it’s a show that promotes tolerance and respect so that they’ll tolerate and respect those of us who don’t watch it?
Yeah, that didn’t work they way it was intended to.
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Randomosity101
in September 18th, 2011 @ 17:06“You do not need pants to do math.”
-My father. A talent for generating quotes like this seems to run in the family.My brother: “It’s already seventh period and it’s still nine a.m.!”
Me: “It’s still nine am? When do you wake up, midnight??”
My brother: “Yep!”
We were talking about a school in a video game.“Why am I hitting my foot with a ruler?”
-Me
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Agent Lightning
in September 19th, 2011 @ 15:40“I try to be attentive instead of spacing out, and people think I’m panicking!”
Me.
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Maths Lover ♥
in September 19th, 2011 @ 22:49Hades is in the Fan Mail Pit now?? We really need to clean down there.
– Urania
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Armada
in September 20th, 2011 @ 17:30“Brian Dewhurst was raised in a happy, well-adjusted English household where he and his sister learned to balance on wires and his father threw knives at his mom for fun. This was not the norm in drab, industrial Manchester in the 1930s, but his family’s habits seemed as natural to Dewhurst as those of a Border collie who could count to seven — which, for the record, the Dewhursts’ collie could.”
-The first paragraph in an online article on Brian Dewhurst (yes, he’s a real person)
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Randomosity101
in September 20th, 2011 @ 19:36Female Latin Teacher: “Oh hey, [my real name].”
Me: “Hi. Are you a dalmation from 101 Dalmations?”
FLT: “Finally a student who got it right! There was this group of kids who asked if I was the Chick-Fil-A cow.”
Me: *laughing* “But that’s not a hero! It’s not even Disney!”
(This was not my Latin teacher, she’s the other Latin teacher.)Male Latin Teacher: “So I spent the night cutting holes in a white shirt. That’s probably the most creative I’ve been in years. The rest of this costume was made by someone else.”
(This was my Latin teacher. During class, in fact. Either his statement was a blatant lie, or he meant creative costume-wise only.)Male Latin Teacher: “And I didn’t make the tail-”
Other student: “You have a tail?”
Teacher: “Well, I had a tail. I don’t know if it’s still attatched…”
Me: “Turn around; it’s still attatched.”
(He was facing the class, but I was far enough to the right to see the end of the tail.)N: “So what would you have done, if you’d dressed up?”
Me: “Well, for a little bit I was considering dressing up for today. You now the Latin Club t-shirts from last year were tan? I was going to just flip mine inside out and say I was Zira from The Lion King Two.”Friend of Friend: “Her tail SQUEAKS! I WANT THAT TAIL!”
C: “It’s just The Lion King.”
K and Me (simultaneously): “JUST THE LION KING?!??!?”Today was an interesting day at school.
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Piggy
in September 21st, 2011 @ 21:36“A cold pizza is a confused pizza.”
–Me a few minutes ago
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Rebecca Lasley (Administrator)
in September 21st, 2011 @ 21:58“A pizza may be confused yet make an excellent breakfast.” ~ Moi, upon waking
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shadowfire
in September 21st, 2011 @ 22:27Castiel: “His name is Raphael.”
Dean: “You were wasted by a Teenage Mutant Ninja Angel?”
-Supernatural, Free to be You and Me (these random exchanges are really why I watch this show)
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Rainbow*Storm
in September 22nd, 2011 @ 00:31“If only life were more like Portal, and you could solve all your problems by beating them with a large metal cube.” – Me
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Armada
in September 22nd, 2011 @ 00:45This reminds me of all the jokes about how in Mario, you fix everything by hitting it with a hammer…
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No Name, Please
in November 12th, 2011 @ 15:19Oh yes please.
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Randomosity101
in September 22nd, 2011 @ 19:19In Latin class today:
Student 1: “Why don’t we make garum?”
Teacher: “I guess we could make it on the roof…”Student 2: “What about sparkling grape juice?”
Me: “That is a crime against beverages.”Teacher: “What was that stupid little song we learned?”
Student 3: “Stupid??”
Teacher: “Sorry, very educational song I learned in middle school.”Student 4: “Where can we learn Latin profanity?”
Teacher: *joking* “Uh… The Romans didn’t swear.”
Student 3: “Yes they did!”
Teacher: *conceding* “OK, they did, and they graffitied it all over Pompeii.”
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bookgirl_me
in September 24th, 2011 @ 11:09Some gems from my first NaNo…
-“You know, Zavier.” drawled a voice from the back “I’m afraid I still haven’t got the point of this mission. Why do we shoot at some of our friends and not at others? And what does shooting at our friends bring us in the grand scheme of things?”
“Shut up, Ed. At least pretend like you care and point your gun in the right direction.”-Just the sort of thing she would find very funny, {…} using the Don’t Ask Because I’d Just Lie policy.
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shadowfire
in September 24th, 2011 @ 17:17“Apparently you’re a ninja Time Lord. Or possibly Naruto. I’m not really sure anymore.”
-Me
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vanillabean3.141
in September 29th, 2011 @ 21:49“Seventy seconds for applesauce, people! MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!!!”
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Ducky
in October 11th, 2011 @ 18:57“People can marry goats, for all I care.”
– my mom
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Choklit Orange
in October 11th, 2011 @ 19:37It’s nice to know someone is on Aberforth’s side.
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Pseudonym
in October 11th, 2011 @ 20:06Team Aberforth FTW
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Ducky
in October 12th, 2011 @ 13:48I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.
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Rosebud2
in October 12th, 2011 @ 20:01My uncle said something very similar to that once.
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Choklit Orange
in October 12th, 2011 @ 23:43“Please remember that the plastic kilt is there to shield you from flying eggs, not to practice your square dancing.”
-my Physics teacher
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Selenium the Quafflebird
in October 13th, 2011 @ 06:11Flying eggs?
Oh wait, we did something like that in Chemistry last year!
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Bibliophile
in October 13th, 2011 @ 09:44Never stand in front of a flying egg.
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Rosebud2
in October 13th, 2011 @ 15:35“There’s a killer turkey in the back of my car that wants to lick my hand! Oh god no!”
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KaiYves
in October 15th, 2011 @ 21:52“The difference is, I don’t KNOW any radical terrorists.” – Me, talking to my roommate and her friend at dinner last week.
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Piggy
in October 15th, 2011 @ 22:30“è² , how is it even possible for a clam to wrap another clam up in seaweed? That’s even less likely than çš„ being able to hit a dove with a ladle mid-flight.”
–Me at my kanji
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Choklit Orange
in October 18th, 2011 @ 21:27You know, that’s even more confusing if you read it in Chinese.
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Rosebud2
in October 20th, 2011 @ 14:14Are those things you think the kanji look like, as a mnemonic device? To me, è² looks like a Kleenex box with feet and çš„ looks like a person at a kiosk.
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Piggy
in October 20th, 2011 @ 15:14It’s complicated. It has to do with what the kanji are composed of and a series of stories about them.
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Bibliophile
in October 20th, 2011 @ 17:36To me, the first figure looks like a wardrobe, the second like a fire extinguisher shooting that substance at a wall.
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*Cskia
in October 20th, 2011 @ 23:26I have a hard time realizing what you’re talking about, because I can actually read that in Chinese…
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Doppelganger
in October 16th, 2011 @ 10:28“…Speak now, or forever hold your zero.” – A science teacher I once had
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Randomosity101
in October 18th, 2011 @ 20:13A quote from Latin class:
N: “Yes, I look at a block of wood, and I see a banana.”
Me: “IT’S LIKE WE HAVE THE SAME BRAIN.”
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Randomosity101
in October 20th, 2011 @ 19:38SFTDP.
Friend: “So Captain Jack said-”
Me: “Wait, Captain Jack?! I thought you were talking about pirates!”
Friend: “Um…”
Me: *facepalm* “Oh. That Captain Jack…”
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Rainbow*Storm
in October 20th, 2011 @ 20:51“Talk to your kids about marinara. It’s a gateway drug to the harder stuff, like snorting parmesan cheese.” -Me
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oobatooba
in October 22nd, 2011 @ 08:17Oh..I just love my school so much..
“Look, Cthuluh’s a 43 dimensional eldrich abomination. I’m sure that if he wanted to he could eat himself for breakfast, lunch and dinner AND all at the same time. But he’d probably get sick of calamari.”
“So what does a Dalek argument sound like?”
“Daleks are evil aliens capable of feeling no emotion other than hate: What do you think they sound like?”
“…probably a lot like debate team.”“…Y est os un globo”
“POR QUE TIENE OJOS!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“…porque es un globo….”
“NOOOOOO!!!!! Y PORQUE TIENE SONRISA?????”“This is my praying-to-Cthulhu-to-protect-my-sanity-because-it’s-slightly-more-likely-to-save-my-brain-than-your-puns face.”
“If I actually understood the way that your brain works, would I be able to do anything but gibber?”
“probably not….”
“Oh, so you’re one of those thulus then?”“So I’m marrying a mailman, and [friend’s name] is going to steal my husband, but I’ll get over it and go be sherlock?”
“yeah.”
“And what about [other friend’s name]?”
“She’s Jesus.”These are all actual arguments from debate team:
“We should not legalize marijuana because it will lead to nuclear war!”
“But nuclear war is good!”
“what?”
“Because the only survivors will be the radioactive cockroaches who have been mutated by radiation to be super smart. They will invent time travel and go back in time and cure all our diseases and help everyone.”
“But…that would make a time paradox…”
“unimportant. We’re past the harms section now. No new harms allowed!”
“Fine! But cockroaches can’t time travel. There aren’t small enough fezzes.”
“Dude, that would be the best TV show ever!”“She called me a fascist! She’s a COMMUNIST!!!!!!”
“He called me a communist! He’s an ANARCHIST!!!!”
“She called me an anarchist! She’s a DEMOCRAT!!!!!!!!”“Why is it that every debate we have turns into political stand up comedy?”
“I’m in an HP Lovecraft book! In one sentence!!! It says “[my name] died”!
“Oh yeah? Well I was the elbow!”
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Randomosity101
in October 28th, 2011 @ 19:11114- CAN I JOIN YOUR DEBATE TEAM?!?!?
My friend and I have just finished drawing a long-running collaborative doodle. These are some memorable quotes:
Me: “It’s official, I’m an artistic failure.” *hands friend barely-recognizable drawing*
Friend: “[Cake] yeah, it’s a banana!”Me: “I love your banana house, but now I’m setting it on fire.”
Friend: “DO IT.”Friend: “So there’s a giant holding the flaming banana house?”
Me: “Yep.”
Friend: “He’s cute.”Me: “You gave him a top hat?!?”
Friend: “Yeah!”
Me: “YOU HAVE STOLEN MY BRAIN!”Friend: “He’s got a goatee?”
Me: “Sorry, that’s my insinctive reaction to drawings with top hats.”
Friend: “That giant’s hard-core.”Me: “So now he has a donught hand?”
Friend: “Yep. And there’s a dude peeking out of it.”
Me: “Genius!”Friend: “So now his foot’s a yo-yo. Sweet.”
Me: “You made the slide and the yo-yo high heels?”
Friend: “Yeah dude, he’s a giant in a top hat with a clock eye and high heels!”Friend: “Did you see that dude in the hammock?”
Me: “Oh, no didn’t. Sorry.”
Friend: “There are a bunch of explosions all around him and people are dying everywhere, and he’s just lying in his hammock.”
Me:Me: “The missle’s stuck in his hat.”
Friend: “You made the moon a pac man? Genius, I totally didn’t think of that!”
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KaiYves
in October 28th, 2011 @ 22:23Weird things I have overheard around my dorm:
“A face mask? Like, a mask for a face?”
“It looks just like her, but different!”
“So, if you grab a snake, and whip it, like that-” *hand motion* “-the head snaps off.”
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Randomosity101
in October 30th, 2011 @ 17:46“You know you’re addicted to MuseBlog when your non-Muser friend gives you a birthday squid.”
-Me, last Tuesday.My brother: “Do you have any tabs open that aren’t MuseBlog?”
Me: “Sure I do!” *points to each open tab in turn* “Look, MuseBlog, Doctor Who, Facebook, and Doctor Who.”
My brother: “Is Doctor Who playing right now?”
Me: “No, I have it paused because I’m going to quote it on MuseBlog.”The Doctor: “I think you’ll find that I’m universally recognised as a mature and responsible adult.”
Kid: “It’s just a lot of wavy lines.”
The Doctor: “Shorted out. Finally, a lie too big.”
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muselover
in November 3rd, 2011 @ 16:43DIRECT VOLDYNET REFERENCE DETECTED
EXTERMINATE
EXTERMINATE
EXTERMINATE
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Agent Lightning
in October 31st, 2011 @ 10:15Another one of those out-of-context conversations with my friends TWOO and Flute…
Flute: No, no, in the afterlife. Don’t.. oh no… *facepalm*
Me and TWOO: Thirty. Twenty-nine. Twenty-eight. Twenty-seven. Twenty-six. Twenty-five. Twenty-four. Twenty-three. Twenty-two. Twenty-one.
Me: Nineteen… eighteen…
TWOO: Twenty… nineteen… AL, you skipped twenty! WHY DID YOU SKIP TWENTY, DON’T YOU KNOW HOW TO COUNT?
Me: I forgot twenty. I’m sorry I killed your taco.
(And this all made perfect sense in context.)
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KaiYves
in November 1st, 2011 @ 15:48My anthropology professor: “Pre-explosion, of course.”
Me: “Well, I should hope so.”(Context is on the Win thread.)
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Piggy
in November 3rd, 2011 @ 16:11“I’m distracted from my thoughts by the sight of Emi tearing into her lunch as if it had insulted her ancestors.”
— Katawa Shoujo, Act 1
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Armada
in November 7th, 2011 @ 20:35“Ftttplfplmfplmfplmf, dressage, ftttplmfplmfplmf…. ffttplmfplmf, WHEEE!, ffffplffff, Paint ‘orse, fffffffcoop? Douche?”
-My sister, imitating a video in French (and repeating the only words she catches, which are mostly the ones that are in English)
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shadowfire
in November 7th, 2011 @ 21:15I was at a cast party for Night of the Living Dead(Which was incredibly fun) and we were all being our strange selves. I don’t remember what happened precisely, but it was something we really shouldn’t have done in any other context. At this point, my friend L said, “We’re all going to hell for this.”
Another girl, who can safely be called the most normal girl in the theater at the moment, with an expression of absolute despair on her face then said, “But… then who will I hang out with?
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KaiYves
in November 8th, 2011 @ 16:21(singing) “It’s all the same, only the names are changed. Every day- (very different tune) they’re out there making DuckTales, WOO-HOO!” – My brain.
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Enceladus
in December 17th, 2011 @ 19:29Your brain sounds like my brain. It will switch randomly between horn concertos when I am playing them in my head. With astonishing results (specifically Haydn and Strauss…).
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Agent Lightning (who needs to be working on her NaNo)
in November 8th, 2011 @ 17:09In Which Paperclip is
and I am
“I’m going to be the first one-handed trombonist. That’s my goal in life. If I ever get my hand cut off for some reason, I’m going to be the first ever one-handed trombonist.”
*thinks of season 2 special in which Tennant is still regenerating and gets his hand cut off but regrows it*
“I’m going to be the first person to measure space.”
“That’s impossible.”
“All I’d need is a couple of tape measures.”
“Space is constantly expanding.”
“That’s just a theory. The same theory says that it will scrunch back together and wer’re all gonna die.”
“Unless we built the TARDIS.”
“The what?”
“It stands for Time And Relative Dimension In Space.”
“So you’d…”
“It’s a teleport. I could take us out of the Universe.” *Doctor Who tirade*
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shadowfire
in November 9th, 2011 @ 00:56“YOU WILL DIE–or, do you have any plumbing?”
-Eddie Izzard on the Daleks
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Oobatooba
in November 22nd, 2011 @ 20:52The Master: “The Daleks have augmented my body with superior dalek technology!”
*Pulls off glove revealing a plunger*
The Doctor: “…but…what can you do with it?”
The Master: “I don’t know!!!!!!!!!!!”
-The curse of fatal death, best Doctor Who parody ever.
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Meow
in November 9th, 2011 @ 21:51“Avocado’s Number Guacamole” — product at Trader Joe’s
Chemistry joke at grocery store makes my night.
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Piggy
in November 9th, 2011 @ 23:02Every time I got to Trader Joe’s I see their Truffle Mousse Pâté and I think to myself, “That is the whitest-sounding food I’ve ever seen.” But then I buy some snapea crisps and maybe some dried mangoes.
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small but fierce
in November 10th, 2011 @ 00:32Heard in line at the Harry Potter premiere: “It’s like opera and meth. BUT BOTH AT ONCE.”
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POSOC
in November 21st, 2011 @ 23:40Semuta trance? /obscure Dune reference
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small but fierce
in November 23rd, 2011 @ 02:07….yeah, I missed that reference.
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small but fierce
in November 29th, 2011 @ 00:14Care to explain?
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small but fierce
in November 10th, 2011 @ 00:33Overheard at rehearsal: “These glasses are giving me an Oedipus complex.”
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Armada
in November 15th, 2011 @ 15:31Wh…. just…. wh…?
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small but fierce
in November 23rd, 2011 @ 02:06I don’t even know.
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small but fierce
in November 26th, 2011 @ 21:05Suffice it to say, I’m worried.
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No Name, Please
in November 12th, 2011 @ 10:08From Portal 2:
Wheatley: Oh, you two are going to loooove this surprise. In fact, you might say…you’re going to love it…to DEATH. Love it…until it kills you. Until you’re dead. [laughs] I dunno if you’re picking up on what I’m saying here, but-
GLaDOS: Yes, thanks. We get it.((Never fails to make me laugh.))
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small but fierce
in December 1st, 2011 @ 20:45THE CAKE IS A LIE
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Treebird
in November 15th, 2011 @ 16:30From a show: Help, a platapus has tied me up in my own pants!
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Agent Lightning (who needs to be working on her NaNo)
in November 15th, 2011 @ 17:36Oh, I remember that.
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Agent Lightning (who needs to be working on her NaNo)
in November 15th, 2011 @ 17:38*holds up director’s score* “…and at measure 108 in the trumpet part it says ‘step on cat’.” -My band director
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Mikazuki
in November 19th, 2011 @ 13:51“Curran, your screensaver is not your soul.”
-A friend of mine
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Randomosity101
in November 21st, 2011 @ 19:02“Well, the cake tastes better than the poop…”
-Me*“Can I have another slice of kitty litter?”
My brother**Context is everything
E: “…and when you say ‘Eric’-”
K: *Glances up, then back at book*
E: “Or ‘Draco Malfoy’-”
K: *glances up again, then back down*
Me: *cracks up laughing*
E: “What?”
Me: “Did you see? She looked up when you said ‘Eric’ and again when you said ‘Draco’!”
E: *also cracks up laughing*
K: *looks up from book, this time staying looking up* “What’s so funny?”
Me: *repeats what I said to E*
K: “No I didn’t!”
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KaiYves
in November 21st, 2011 @ 20:13“I know absolutely nothing about ‘Supernatural’ beyond that it is, presumably, about the supernatural.” – Me on another site.
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Bibliophile
in November 21st, 2011 @ 22:46Seconded. I really mean that; I don’t even know if it’s a book or a film or what. Is that good or bad? (If it’s good, don’t tell me what it is).
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Bibliophile
in November 26th, 2011 @ 20:23…Judging by the pies, I’m guessing it’s good?
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Piggy
in November 21st, 2011 @ 23:01“I was really just hoping and praying that all of Clint Eastwood’s composed music would be just sort of solo whistling.”
“Heavy echo chamber, steel guitar….”
“He shows up and he plays this track for the other producers, and they’re like, ‘Clint, that’s the–that’s the Miami Vice theme.'”“Some of that bacon’s fer eatin’. Some of it’s fer wearin’.”
“It’s, uh–it chafes a bit, but it’s very stylish.”
“That’s the hickory smoke.”“You know what happens when you play a country song backwards, right? It’s still terrible.”
“I thought you were gonna say, ‘The capitalists seize the means of production.”All from the most recent episode of the Overthinking It podcast. For context, they were talking about the movie J. Edgar for the first two quotes and road trips for the third.
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KaiYves
in November 22nd, 2011 @ 19:06I just rediscovered this conversation TMFA and I had on the first Muse Scouts thread, by using the “Really Random” button.
TMFA: “Anything that goes in your mouth is food.”
Me: “Then is gum food?”
TMFA: “Yes.”
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Zinc
in November 23rd, 2011 @ 18:35I remember that!
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Oobatooba
in November 22nd, 2011 @ 20:47More quotations from my crazy school:
“Differences?!?! I’m trying to put my mask on and she’s trying to run me through with a saber!!!”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you because I was too busy talking to my coat. Please leave a message at the beep. *beep!*”
“But what if someone puts in a number…”
“It’s a hangman game. No one’s going to put in a number.”
“Hey! Numbers are letters too!”“So president Tyler did not die horribly in the explosion, which won him a most-forgettable-president-ever prize.”
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Randomosity101
in November 23rd, 2011 @ 17:49“In other words, he’ll splat just like a real man.”
-voice over from Mythbusters.
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muselover
in November 23rd, 2011 @ 18:49Me: My choir class is going to be interesting this trimester.
Sister: Why?
Me: I’m the only guy in there right now. Plus, we’re doing the Hallelujah Chorus, which requires both a tenor and a bass part.
Sister: Well, aren’t there any homosexual girls or something who could do the men’s part?
Me: …no?
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muselover
in November 25th, 2011 @ 08:30SFTDP, but I feel like that last one was too depressing. Here’s another:
Dad: My friends and I were going to make a complete timeline of everything that happened in Slaughterhouse-Five put into chronological order, but we were too busy drawing Tralfamadorians.
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Armada
in November 26th, 2011 @ 17:36I just ran across my collection of odd and interesting quotes by me and/or my friends… I might have posted them before, but I’m going to repost them anyway:
 “There’s more to life than beans and muffins!”
“Yes, ducky. Noodles.”“I didn’t trip, I said hi to the wall with my face!”
(or, alternately)
“I didn’t trip, I was just testing gravity. It’s still there!”“It’s a rabbit time bomb!”
“Om nom nom nom nom — that is proper grammar!”
“So two vocados… or is it vocadai? Do they have vocados in Greece?
“Celery is not a fashion statement!”
“I can see why real estate is not a spectator sport…”
“You are going to take ‘you’re the one keeping the conversation going’ as a bowl of soup?”
“It doesn’t make any sense, I know.”
(the above was an actual phone conversation I had with a friend, yes.)“I’M NOT A CITIZEN OF ATLANTIS!”
“Where are you going with that tree?”
“My adjectives know no limits.”
(Most of these made sense in context, I swear. I have some crazy friends.)
And (this isn’t mine):
“We’ve got to get him a helmet now.”
“Yeah. A bowler helmet.”
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ZNZ
in November 26th, 2011 @ 18:23“Not a lot of men can carry off a decorative vegetable.”
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Armada
in November 26th, 2011 @ 20:38I believe it was originally said about Superman. Though I forget why.
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Agent Lightning
in December 12th, 2011 @ 16:00Sounds more like the Fifth Doctor than Superman.
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Armada
in December 15th, 2011 @ 21:42…Ohhh, yes, it was about the Fifth Doctor. And then we started applying it to Superman for some reason. The conversation happened more than a year ago, so pardon me for being sketchy about some of the details.
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ZNZ
in November 28th, 2011 @ 17:56Me: SHEL SILVERSTEIN IS NOT AN ENGLISH ROMANTIC POET!
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oobatooba
in November 28th, 2011 @ 22:09Me: [I forget the exact quotation, but I was talking about Cthulhu]
Friend A: “Cthulhu? Isn’t that one of those fake religions? You know, like the church of the flying spaghetti monster?”
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KaiYves
in December 1st, 2011 @ 20:05I would hope his cultists would remain fake.
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Randomosity101
in November 30th, 2011 @ 19:34My brother: “I’m going up against Kokomon!”
Me: “Cool! Is he a pie-throwing digimon?”
My brother: “No. It’s spelled ‘K-O-K-O’.”
Me: “Then it should definitely throw pies!!”
My brother: “It doesn’t throw pies. And it’s pink.”
Me: “THAT IS AN ABERRATION!!!”
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Pseudonym
in December 1st, 2011 @ 19:47“Why have just one ghetto Santa when you can have a million?”
“Santa is not a Turkish Viking from Finland!”
From the Christmas tree lighting in my city. The band played at it. We played Christmas songs for twenty minutes and then went back to the band room and played ping-pong for about an hour and a half, total. (Our band director gives you extra credit if you beat him at ping-pong. :P)
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small but fierce
in December 1st, 2011 @ 20:46“…and then he killed himself with a magical jellyfish.”
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small but fierce
in December 15th, 2011 @ 22:56I love choir rehearsal.
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Rainbow*Storm
in December 1st, 2011 @ 23:18“Well, you can’t expect everyone to hear everything you say all the time … *no one hears* Point taken, universe.”
– Me
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KaiYves
in December 3rd, 2011 @ 18:59So, Erin wrote another one of her funny scripts. Here are some choice quotes:
“Who’s paying for this plane?”
“Why, the government, of course! We’re GOVERNMENT FUNDED!”
“Hooray! Washington’s money!”“Yes, I know they have charisma! And Buzz Aldrin! But I need that money!”
“Oh! I want some bird shaped dairy products!”
“They’re whales that jump around. JUST GO WATCH THEM!”
“What the flounder?”
“Being a MythBuster soon leads to pyrotechnical dexterity.”
“So, who do you think tried to kill us with pineapple?”
“We did just steal their whale, after all.”
“I *never* kid about the Force.”
“We’re about as professional as a high school freshmen class is mature!”
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Koko's Apprentice
in December 4th, 2011 @ 15:21“‘l’ll pay $5 to anyone who can get the head back onto this baby”
~My mother
(And yes, she was being completely serious at the time)
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Randomosity101
in December 4th, 2011 @ 19:06Me: “It’s like a Fire-type Hyper Beam on caffeine.”
My brother’s friend: “No, it’s like a Fire-type Draco Meteor with lots of sugar!”
We were talking about the Pokemon move V-Create.
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small but fierce
in December 4th, 2011 @ 19:38“She’s beating me with an aardvark!”
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small but fierce
in December 4th, 2011 @ 19:39“You know what’s a bad birthday present? Acupuncture. In your eyes.”
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ZNZ
in December 5th, 2011 @ 17:40Me: Kepler had two wives; his first wife was called Barbara, and his second was Susanna.
Brother: BARBARA AND SUSAN!
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small but fierce
in December 5th, 2011 @ 23:15“You know what another bad birthday present is? Leprosy.”
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Agent Lightning
in December 17th, 2011 @ 08:05Back in the first grade, my friend and I had this huge list of things not to get your best friend for her birthday. Funnily enough, the only one I remember is ‘shoe polish’.
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KaiYves
in December 17th, 2011 @ 17:47When I was in fourth grade, I made a huge list of horrible things that could happen to someone who had done something I disliked. I lost the list and I cannot remember who the person was or what he or she had done that made me so angry, but I remember one was “En’s feet could be amputated due to frostbite.”
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small but fierce
in December 17th, 2011 @ 23:56Oh my.
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small but fierce
in December 18th, 2011 @ 23:39I hope I never get on your bad side.
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Piggy
in December 6th, 2011 @ 21:35“If I could bottle this feeling, you know, people would pay me not to drink it.”
— David Troupes, Buttercup Festival
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Randomosity101
in December 7th, 2011 @ 20:39“Smoothies aren’t exactly a social interaction.”
-Me
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Castle
in December 7th, 2011 @ 20:53This was my day:
“Sorry, miss! Don’t mind us, we’re just arguing over who brought up Hitler first.” – Me
—————————
Me:
“Cameron, there’s no guy called Dick in Looking for Alaska.”Cameron:
“Look!” *I see the name Dick float out at me*Me:
“Huh. Maybe I read too…wait. Are those sled dogs? Cameron, this is the wrong book. The book for discussion today was Looking for Alaska by John Green. Not a book about legit looking for Alaska.”
—————————–Me: “Just sittin’ in the pizza place…talking about various inappropriate things…keep it down, you guys.”
Hannah: “Not like anyone seems to care what we say…”
Me: “True. We’re just surrounded by this seemingly indifferent staff. Like, just walking around, like “Same cake as always…”—————————–
“Justus…wearing a sign that says “Free Hugs” has gotten people I know very close to arrest.” – Me
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KaiYves
in December 8th, 2011 @ 15:01At Astronomy Club last night:
Girl: “We should go there!” (There being exoplanet Kepler 22b)
Me: “Okay, first we have to turn ourselves into light and point ourselves at it, then we have to wait 600 years.”
Boy: “We should turn ourselves into tachyons and get there yesterday!”
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Piggy
in December 8th, 2011 @ 16:59If you were light, you’d wait 0 years. Everyone else would wait 600 years for you to get there, but you’d wait 0.
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KaiYves
in December 8th, 2011 @ 19:19That’s what another girl said, after we all stopped laughing.
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Agent Lightning
in December 12th, 2011 @ 16:03“I wear a trench coat now. Trench coats are cool.” -Me.
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KaiYves
in December 12th, 2011 @ 17:19I don’t think there was ever any doubt trenchcoats were cool.
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Agent Lightning
in December 16th, 2011 @ 15:01Why else would I be wearing one?
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Piggy
in December 15th, 2011 @ 21:04“Hitler wasn’t THAT bad. I mean come on, he killed Hitler!”
“Yeah, but let’s be fair here, he did also kill the guy that killed Hitler.”
— People on the internet
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Rosebud2
in December 16th, 2011 @ 10:24“Where’s your book?”
“At the store.”“Now if we had a hybrid with Kyle’s left arm and Ben’s right arm, that would be perfect. We need a Byle.”
“No, a Ken!”Oh, orchestra…
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Castle
in December 16th, 2011 @ 14:33JLynn and I were all cuddly and stuff on the car ride back from the dance and we started talking about the GPS we’d recently loaned to the driver, Kat.
Me: “So, Kat, you liking the GPS?”
Kat: “Yeah. It’s a little…different, but it’s cool.”
Me: “My mother got tired of the posh English accent and changed it to Australian. The joke’s always that he [James, our name for the GPS] is going to one day tell us that we’re lost in the outback.”JLynn: “You know what they need? They need a Mal GPS. Nathan Fillion needs to provide the voice for one of these things.”
Me: “Imagine how cynical and sarcastic it would be. ‘Turn left. No, just kidding! Go right, actually. Why did I mislead you? It was fun,’ and ‘Giving good directions is the mark of a great GPS. Guess I’m just a good one.
SATELLITE RECEPTION LOSTWell, I’m ok.’
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Agent Lightning
in December 16th, 2011 @ 15:10“We’re not doing it unless I wear a grass skirt.”
“But I don’t want to climb things!”
“Okay, with that expression on your face I thought you were going to say ‘I want to suck your blood’ and turn into a vampire or something.”
“EMBRACE THE DARKNESS, AL.”
*clutches head and collapses onto ground*“Did you read my haiku?”
“I read the title.”
“Read the whole thing!”
“No, the title was enough.”“I like old hats.”
“I’m sorry. If I had known, I would have taken the TARDIS seventy years in the past and knitted your hat there, then for your birthday told you where I had buried it.”“Ninety-seven bottles of beer on the wall…”
“And this is school appropriate how?”“Are all leprachauns male?”
*laughing*
“It’s just a question.”“You’re wearing your bowler backwards.”
“It doesn’t make a difference.”
“No, see, the band overlaps right there.”
“Oh, okay then.”“Oh yes, Paperclip is playing this solo and not [Tuba]. He’s very adamant about that. He’s Paperclip. Not [Tuba].”
“And MO here is the lead in the musical.”
“Um, I am? Sure! I’m always the lead!”
“Oh, and bassoons always have the melody?”*is silent and acting out a charade*
“TV show…”
*taps nose* *holds up two fingers*
“Two words…”
*taps nose*
Me and Paperclip, simultaneously: “Doctor Who!”I LOVE advanced jazz combo.
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small but fierce
in December 17th, 2011 @ 01:22“Lychee wine?” “Nope, old woman eyes.”
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fireandhemlock1996
in December 17th, 2011 @ 21:24“Can I have some of that chocolate?”
“Nope, sorry, I think you’re fat enough already.”“No Play-Doh? Qora, you wound me! That’s it, we’re divorcing. You’re moving back down to concubines status and Jen is now my favorite wife.”
-Churdle“She’s my little brother, my uncle, my wife, and my mother’s girlfriend.”
“And he’s my big sister, my niece, my husband, and the daughter of my sister/girlfriend/father.”
-Churdle and I, explaining our relationship to each other in the band family/harem“…and my friend Churdle is married to his stepmom.”
“I think that’s illegal in at least ten different ways.”
“Oh, you know KH, right?”
“What about her?”
*nod*
“No. No, no, no.”
“Yep.”
*runs away literally*
“I think I broke him.”
*comes back ten minutes later*
“JG, did I break you?”
“…yeah…”
-me and JG“If you go into a sugar coma, I will kill you.”
“I think you’d have to get in line.”
“Yeah.. Churdle would revive you with mouth-to-mouth, then kill you, then repeat that process about twelve times. Wait, that sounded wrong.”
-Rach and I“Bite me.”
“Sorry, that’s Churdle’s job.”
“WHAT?”
-me, Rach, and Lyd“So, what’s going on with you and Churdle?”
“Well, he is my husband…”
-‘Gine and Qora“I need attention! I mean look at me! I’m awesome! And who else would the attention go to? I mean, look at Qora. She definitely doesn’t deserve the attention. The attention belongs to MEEEEEE! Yeah, I’m hyper.”
-Rach“Well aren’t you a chick magnet.”
“BUT I DON’T WANNA BE A CHICK MAGNET!”
-random dude and Hameson (who is adorably gay)“Stand in front of me so I can stare at him without him noticing… aw cake you’re too short.”
“Hameson, I’m too small to be a living sheild. Sorry.”
-Hameson and I“PASTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”
-Kaylee and I“SHOES!”
-Rach“Churdle, why are you tying Qora’s feet together? And why are you tying my right foot to your left foot? AHHHHH STOP WALKING” *falls on face*
“WHYYYYYYYYY”
-me“Stop being annoying!”
“Am I ever not annoying?”
“Nope.”
“Awh, you know you still love me.”
“Maybe… I MEAN NO”
“JUSTIN BEIBER LOVES MEEEEEE!”
“SHUT UP!”
-Bry (JB’s clone) and I“Shut up, I’m trying to practice!”
“Aw Windmill, you know you love us.”
“Not so much her, though.”
“WHOO-HOO, SECOND ACCIDENTAL CONFESSION OF LOVE TODAY! YESSSSSS.”
-Windmill and I“I love you Jenn!”
“That was random.”
“Why was it random?”
“You were just randomly like ‘I love you!'”
“Batman, you’re just hating cause everyone loves me and not you.”
“Shush.”
-‘Dill’, Batman, and II love my school friends.
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Castle
in December 17th, 2011 @ 22:49Waaaaaiiiiit
You have a friend named Kaylee? For the love of god make some Zoe quotes around her.
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Agent Lightning
in December 18th, 2011 @ 15:34“Why did you give {my sister} a bassoon? Mom! Who gives {my sister} a bassoon anyway?”
-Me, sleeptalking“If everyone contradanced with wolves, the world would be a better place!”
-also me.“Yes, but what if the trend changes to happy little daisy chains?”
“All the more reason to wear a zombie-slaying trenchcoat!”
-Me and my mom
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Tesseract
in December 18th, 2011 @ 16:51BASS-OOOOOOOOON
*vanishes*
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KaiYves
in December 18th, 2011 @ 17:06“I am not for a minute suggesting that SeaWorld is racist.” – Me, talking to Erin on the phone. It made sense in context.
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Adeliae
in December 18th, 2011 @ 21:01Those orcas are quite multi-racial.
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KaiYves
in December 18th, 2011 @ 21:39There is actually a song from one of their shows called “Black and White”, because orcas are… black and white.
(We were actually talking about the trainers, and I’d asked her how she told the female trainers apart when they all seemed to be blond.)
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Ducky
in December 18th, 2011 @ 17:37“I broke the eyebrow!” – my friend
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Bibliophile
in December 18th, 2011 @ 19:29Oh, dear. I hope en didn’t leave half of it behind by mistake.
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Oobatooba
in December 18th, 2011 @ 17:44“Why would you have to say that’s from Monty Python? Of course I know it’s from Monty Python! I’m faintly offended by that. Like, so faintly offended that if you did that a few more times I might faint!”
“Through the looking glass is a chess game!”
“Oh, so when you read it do you have to pause for ten minutes between chapters?” (I am notorious for my slow chess playing)
-Friends from school“Function? I don’t see a function, I just see a value!”
“Lambda? I don’t see a lambda, I just see a value!”
“It’s all one value!”
“One value to rule them all….”
“Hey, do you think elves are programmed in scheme?”
-Programming class“Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! (*And accompanying hand motions*)”
“what are you doing?”
“Being a tardigrade”
“tardigrades don’t talk…”
“Right! So I’m being a tardigrade with a soundtrack!”
“But ther isn’t any sound in space…”“Oh, I’m off to fly my TAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDIS and be a TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMELORD” (This should be said in the same voice that “Oh, I’m off to play the grand piano and fly my areoplane” is said in)
“Check!”
“what? No?”
“Ha! Checkmate!”
“That’s what you think! I stole your queens ring!”
“What?!?!?”
“*Knocks over board* Hah! Your entire team just got Scratched! Take that!” (Don’t play chess with Homestuck fans. It rarely ends well.)
– more friends from school“…So, to get back from the purple sheep…”
-My English teacher, on the Odessy“so these two kill each other off…(meaning cancel eachother out)”
“Kill? That sounds so mean!”
“Killing is very important!”
-My Geometry teacher“So in your calculus class there was a problem about cooking babies?!?? That’s disgusting!”
“Hey, I wasn’t coking the babies, just reheating them!”
-the same fantastic Geometry teacherI love my school so much sometimes…scratch that…all the time.
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ZNZ
in December 21st, 2011 @ 09:07Me: *drops a star-shaped Christmas ornament*
Pangloss: Oh, hey, it’s a falling star!
Me: AND WHEN YOU FALL AS LUCIFER FELL, YOU FALL IN FLAMEMy life. Basically.
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small but fierce
in December 21st, 2011 @ 13:07THE SWORD…
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ZNZ
in December 21st, 2011 @ 18:46AND SO IT HAS BEEN AND SO IT IS WRITTEN
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small but fierce
in December 22nd, 2011 @ 00:23ON THE DOORWAY TO PARADISE
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ZNZ
in December 22nd, 2011 @ 06:30THAT THOSE WHO FALTER AND THOSE WHO FALL
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Cat's Eye
in December 22nd, 2011 @ 14:04MUST PAY THE PRIIIICE!
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ZNZ
in December 22nd, 2011 @ 20:13LORD LET ME FIND HIM
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small but fierce
in December 24th, 2011 @ 21:39THAT I MAY SEE HIM
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ZNZ
in December 25th, 2011 @ 06:15SAFE BEHIND BARS
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small but fierce
in December 25th, 2011 @ 10:56I WILL NEVER REST
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ZNZ
in December 25th, 2011 @ 11:34TILL THEN
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Randomosity101
in December 21st, 2011 @ 17:55“The Thundercats are genuine cornflakes!”
-My littlest brother.These were all part of the same conversation:
Me: “Yeah, well, my mom’s family is Jewish, my dad’s an atheist, my stepmom’s family is all Christian and Catholic-”
E: “And a partridge in a pear tree.”K: “I made you origami!” *gives origami* “It’s a partridge!”
A: *starts singing “The Twelve Days of Christmas”*
E: “Oh, not that again!”
Me: “Hey, have you guys heard ‘The Twelve Days After Christmas’?”
A & C: “No…”
E: “Oh yeah!” *starts singing*
Me: *joins in*K: *in a whiny voice* “Hey, why’d you kill the partridge?”
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Piggy
in December 21st, 2011 @ 20:33“Some men are Baptists, others Catholics; my father was an Oldsmobile man.”
I still firmly hold the opinion that A Christmas Story is the best Christmas movie of all time.
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Agent Lightning
in December 22nd, 2011 @ 08:26And I firmly agree with you, Piggy.
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ZNZ
in December 22nd, 2011 @ 09:19I like it, but I firmly hold the opinion that no Christmas movie shall ever surpass Hogfather.
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small but fierce
in December 24th, 2011 @ 21:38I was in the musical version of that (with music by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul, the composers and lyricists of Edges) last year.
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Agent Lightning
in December 23rd, 2011 @ 14:23“If I ever get a blue box- a blue 1950’s police box- that can travel through time and space and is bigger on the inside, you know what I’m going to name it? Do you know what I’m going to name it? The Millenium Falcon.”
-Me
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Oobatooba
in December 23rd, 2011 @ 21:04No, that’s what you have to call your galaxy class starfleet ship. It’s even more painful to fans.
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Castle
in December 23rd, 2011 @ 21:32Refer to it as an Enterprise class Super Star Destroyer named “Deep Who 9”.
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Maths Lover ♥
in December 25th, 2011 @ 17:05*twitches reading these comments* Actually, that’s pretty cool.
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Castle
in December 25th, 2011 @ 20:37I’m sorry, an Enterprise class model 42ASiMV Super TARDuneIS Destroyer names “Deep Serenity 9”. There we go.
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KaiYves
in December 25th, 2011 @ 20:51Of the Imagination!
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Piggy
in December 24th, 2011 @ 15:03“What I like is when you’re looking and thinking and looking and thinking….and suddenly you wake up.”
— Hobbes, from the June 27, 1988 Calvin and Hobbes strip
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Randomosity101
in December 24th, 2011 @ 19:40From a conversation with my sister:
Me: “How does putting a dreidel on your head make me a cannibal?”
My sister: “Hey! Stop hitting me with a dreidel, I’m not a chipmunk!”
My sister: “And they all have hammocks with ropes attatched that are tied to the ground, so they sleep underneath them.
Me: “So you can rock yourself to sleep?”
My sister: “Yep.”My sister: “Your feet smell like pie!”
Me: “Um… Thanks?”I’m beginning to suspect this runs in the family…
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Mikazuki
in December 26th, 2011 @ 21:48“So I remember this time in seventh grade…oh gosh, I can still feel the pickles.”
-A former babysitter of mine who I saw at a recent Christmas party
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KaiYves
in December 27th, 2011 @ 09:41“How can a hardware store be preppy?” – My brother P.
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SilverLeopard
in December 27th, 2011 @ 18:07“All that space, nice and flat, with only a few easily jumped obstacles, like trees.”
-the thoughts a horse named Boris, from Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett
“Probably some local fisherman, out for a pleasure cruise, at night, in… eel-infested waters…”
-Vizzini, from the Princess Bride
“You mean, you’ll put down your rock and I’ll put down my sword, and we’ll try and kill each other like civilized people?”
-Westley, from the Princess Bride
“Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.”
-also Westley, from the Princess Bride
“I hope to meet my Pilot face to face/ When I have crossed the bar.”
-Tennyson
“This is B double-flat, even though it smells an awful lot like a A.”
-the music teacher at the middle school I go to
And a standing ovation to anyone who knows where this quote is from: “Why problem make when you no problem have you don’t want to make?”
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SilverLeopard
in December 28th, 2011 @ 13:00Should be “the thoughts OF a…”
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Ducky
in December 27th, 2011 @ 19:21“I want it to DIE!…..That wasn’t very Buddhist of me.”
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Treebird
in December 28th, 2011 @ 13:31“I stole your blanket, so it’s rightfully mine!”
“Meh!” “Oh, go move in with my goats already!”
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KaiYves
in December 30th, 2011 @ 21:59My dad: ” …Harrison Schmitt. Is he still alive?”
Me: “Yes.”
My dad: “What’s he doing now?”
Me: “Whatever retired people do.”
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Koko´s Apprentice
in January 2nd, 2012 @ 14:02Any chance for a 2012 Quotations thread?
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ZNZ
in January 3rd, 2012 @ 08:45Pangloss: You’re a teenager. You have no capacity to understand the meaning of life.
My mom: Except as it applies to Parisians in the eighteen-forties.
Me: Thirties. 1832.
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Randomosity101
in January 6th, 2012 @ 17:33At lunch today (for clarification, I
sitsat with four other people at lunch; a pretty and Muserly person, a hyper bibliophile, a ditzy girl who is constanly confused, and a girl who fits every stereotype for the cheerleader there is -including being a cheerleader – except she’s not mean.):Cheerleader: *shoves phone in my face* “I can’t believe how fast it’s downloading!”
Me: “Um, great.”
Ditz: “Yeah!” *goes over to talk to Cheerleader*
A few seconds later~
Cheerleader: “It’s one percent loaded!”
Hyper: *in a mocking tone* “Oh my gosh! [Book character] dies!”
Me: “Yes!” *high fives Hyper* “I was about to say something similar.”
A few seconds later~
Cheerleader: “It’s still one percent loaded!”
Hyper: *gestures to me*
Me: “In other news, the crew of Apollo 1 is still dead.”
Ditz: “Wait, what?”
Cheerleader: “Ooh! Who’s that?”
Me: “DID YOU JUST SAY WHO’S THAT?!?!?”
Cheerleader: “Is it a baby or something?”
Me: “That’s it, I’m leaving!”
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Piggy
in January 9th, 2012 @ 20:29“It’s hard to share one’s perception. The same way it’s impossible to convey how something feels without them having felt it for themselves.”
— Ginko, ep. 1 of Mushishi
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Oobatooba
in January 15th, 2012 @ 16:46I just have to say that Mushishi is the most beautiful of all manga.
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Piggy
in January 15th, 2012 @ 17:40And the anime’s not half bad either.
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Choklit Orange
in January 13th, 2012 @ 00:57“I dub thee Shadowfax.”
-My dad, to his new bike.
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Agent Lightning
in January 13th, 2012 @ 17:52“Okay, I’ll tell him: [Altosax] never plays loudly when you’re around UNLESS YOU FEED HER OATMEAL COOKIES BEFOREHAND.”
*later* “I wouldn’t want to taste our band director’s oatmeal cookies. He doesn’t seem like the cooking type.”“This is Time Lord technology. Time Lord Technology, you hear me?”
“Hmm… I wonder how it tastes.” *pops in mouth* *spits out* “A bit… hairy.”“Hmm… unlucky, unlucky, lucky, very lucky…”
“WHO IS IT NO WAIT DON’T TELL ME”
“You’re getting married to Paperclip. You and your ten children live in a hut. You make two dollars a year as a scientist.”This is what happens when I get together with friends and practice. In my defense, we did get some actual practicing done.
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Agent Lightning
in January 13th, 2012 @ 17:52“This is Time Lord technology. Time Lord Technology, you hear me?”
“Hmm… I wonder how it tastes.” *pops in mouth* *spits out* “A bit… hairy.”
-Me and my friend
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ZNZ
in January 14th, 2012 @ 10:54“Your daughter has been seduced by a dangerous radical named Marius Pontmercy. She betrays you every night.”
Say what you will about the 1998 movie (and believe me, I’ve got a lot to say), it has plenty of comic relief.
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Randomosity101
in January 14th, 2012 @ 17:36My brother: “One of them’s wearing part of a pumpkin on its head!”
Me: “They do that. And I can’t figure out if those red things are supposed to be fezzes or pieces of jello.”
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Rainbow*Storm
in January 14th, 2012 @ 19:53“Whe-don! Make another sea-son! And now I’m rhyming for no rea-son!”
“Shh. Do you hear that? That’s the engines of an approaching failboat.”
“Punk rock bagpipes are the BEST instrument.”
– Me
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Randomosity101
in January 15th, 2012 @ 12:21My stepmother: “What’s 42 again?”
My dad: “The answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything. Why?”Neither of them read HG2G.
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Ducky
in January 15th, 2012 @ 19:48“On second thought, maybe you shouldn’t be influencing small children.”
– my dad, to me. XD
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Agent Lightning
in January 15th, 2012 @ 20:59Of course you should! It’s Mostly Harmless!
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Castle
in January 15th, 2012 @ 23:10“It’s terribly hard, you know, being me. First I had to go to the trouble of being born. Then they put me through seven years of intensive learning, where they taught me to walk, talk, read and write. Then I had to meet you and have you take notice of me and become completely infatuated with me. It was all awfully tough work on my part, but all that exhaustive effort is what made me a half-decent person.”
– Me to JLynn
”
Squish. Poke. This is endlessly entertaining.”– Me to JLynn
“Argh, my OCD. Why do these buttons not button right?”
“Because they don’t.”– JLynn/Me (on my shirt’s neck buttons being misaligned)
“And the time I nearly swallowed the SD card. And the time mom ate dog food instead of popcorn because they were both in her hands.”
– Me (on human autopilot mode)
“Rick Perry? Yeah, I dislike him with the burning passion of a thousand suns. I mean, how else do you look at a guy who shows up to the set of his anti-gay ad wearing the jacket from Brokeback Mountain to music composed by a gay guy?”
“Someone on his campaign staff clearly has a sense of humor. And is very loyal and supportive.”
– Me/K
“We should have to decide between presidential candidates based on which is the best, not which is the least awful.”
– Me
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Agent Lightning
in January 18th, 2012 @ 17:02“Vote for me- I’ll end politics.” -Me.
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ZNZ
in January 16th, 2012 @ 14:26“What need have I to know your name? Besides, before you told me you had one which I knew.”
The man opened his eyes in astonishment. “Really? You knew what I was called?”
“Yes,” replied the Bishop, “you are called my brother.”
“Stop it, Monsieur le Curé,” exclaimed the man. “I was very hungry when I entered here, but you are so good, that I no longer know what has happened to me.”– Les Mis, Hugo, Hapgood
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Koko's Apprentice
in January 18th, 2012 @ 19:20Some of us with really kind of slow internet and limited usage have trouble loading 359 comments – possibly a new thread?
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Robert Coontz (Administrator)
in January 18th, 2012 @ 19:37More than possibly — certainly. See you there!
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