Ever get the feeling that the whole world was against you? That’s the idea behind this chess game. In a desperate ploy scientific experiment designed to see whether it’s possible to keep a game here moving forward to a conclusion, GAPA Robert Coontz is taking the black pieces and allowing anybody on MuseBlog to move for White. Trash talk, taunts, and analysis are encouraged. Let’s see if this works.
First move, anybody?
White’s first move (1. g4) paves the way for moving the Bishop to g2. But the pawn move also weakens White’s king side and gives Black a target..
With 1. …d5, Black starts to occupy the center and uncovers a bishop aimed at g4.
Sounds kind of like the name of a court case…
I wonder what Robert did that caused the entire world to file a case against him.
Maybe the HPBs framed him for something horrible as a ploy to delay Mostly Harmless.
That would be “Everybody v. Robert,” wouldn’t it?
As for what might motivate such a lawsuit, I can only speculate. I suppose Mostly Harmless could upset a fair number of people by and by.
Someone needs to start a MuseBlog FanFiction based on this. Like seriously.
When I saw this comment in the moderation queue, I thought you were talking about the chess game.
Speaking of which, it’s everybody’s turn to move.
Bookgirl_me taught me last night that I can move pieces by clicking on them. I did make a move, but it will not stay made. What am I doing wrong?
I don’t know, CP. What kind of device are you using? I can make the move for you if you’ll tell me what it is.
Mysterious. I am using a computer with Windows 7 and Mozilla Firefox 12-0. I’ve not noticed any other problems with in-blog programs–Asteroids, for example, works just fine.
Thank you! I have been trying to move the white-clinging bishop to g2.
I think that would be a bad idea while the knight is still under attack.
Aaand this is why I don’t have a chess account: All the faults in my game are amplified by self-consciousness. I was oblivious and you are correct. Thank you for stopping me. If the knight were to go to h4, it would be out of danger, without retreating…. Yes, knight to h4, please.
Hey, don’t sweat it! I was/am always a bit paranoid about making mistakes, but the trick is to keep playing and not let yourself get discouraged, because otherwise you’ll never learn.
Thank you very much for your encouraging words, bookgirl_me!
I’ve been having the same problem. I want to move the rook to e5.
Just a guess, but maybe you have to be logged in to move.
By the way, I meant knight, not rook. I know enough not to make a mistake that I just read a warning about, at least.
And yes, logging in worked, thanks.
That too, I suppose.
Queen’s rook to c3!
Wait, wh- oh, Harry Potter.
Eh? Did I make a Harry Potter reference without meaning to? Another reason that I should get around to reading them–I never have.
I was actually trying to make a move (because this is a really fun idea)–I apparently misunderstood the process.
Oh, I thought that might’ve been in the movie or something since I wasn’t really sure how you planned to move the rook to c3 right now… You can just click on the pieces to move them
Sorry about grabbing your turn.
Oh! Brain-to-fingers disconnect! I meant to move the queen’s knight to c3. Thank you for explaining; I don’t have a chess account and guessed wrong. I don’t mind at all that you moved. It’s now time for White to move again, and I think a different move than I earlier had in mind would be more advantageous as the board sits…I shall pounce on the pieces.
Okay… so, let’s see how this one goes. This one’s my move (2.h3) and here’s the method to my madness:
(Since I’m part of the entity colloquially known as “everyone”, I reserve the right to use plural pronouns
and bookgirl_me and bookgirl_me are still duking it out in the background about who gets to move here)1) Our top priority right now is to keep our pieces alive …because they’re so…very…pretty. They are just too pretty for us to let them die.
Megalomanic much? Hey, don’t knock the firefly! Or the quoting!1a) Unless, of course, we get something decent in exchange- A pawn for a pawn, a bishop for a knight, two rooks for a queen is basically equal, anything more than that would be nice- but often a trap/sacrifice.
2) Occupy
Wall Street!the center. For yes, this is the best place to be on this chessboard, and we will thrive. We will rule over all this chessboard, and we will call it… ‘This Chessboard’.”We don’t need to physically put pieces there, just completely and utterly dominate it and destroy and piece that dares venture there (unless, you know, it has backup, which would bring us back to 1) )
3) Get the pawns, bishops and knights out into play where they can
die for our causebe of more use to us. This is usually for of 2).Asap/4) Castle the King to keep him safe. Usually happens when you used no3 to accomplish no2. Or you completely botched no1 (not recommended).
So, what does my move do? Well, 1) it protects the pawn. It’s not helping with the whole center or development things (much), but we can try to turn our right flank into a sort of botched fiancetto (since the diagonal is already open), though we should probably focus on the center to stop black from setting up shop there.
Why didn’t I…
…attack the black pawn? Pretty pointless and black would just use the attack to consolidate his power in the center.
…just ignore the attack and move 2.d4? While that would’ve halted black’s advance in the center for now, we’d have practically lost two pawns- our little h pawn would have no more friends left, so as soon as the rook moves away en would be dead. Plus, all hope for some form of pawn structure on that end would be definitely lost, weakening our position even more than (I hope) black’s advance to the center has/does/will- we can still fight him there and create a powerful position for our bishop on the right flank, though PLEASE don’t castle to that side.
… 2.f3 instead of h3? That would block our knight and open up another diagonal- which wouldn’t be immediately dangerous but could come back to haunt us if black, at some point, begins to attack before we can spirit our king away to safety on the other side of the board, since things in the center might be a little cramped.
…think of some completely genius move that leads to checkmate in two? Well, I’m not Bobby FIsher.
Fun things to do in the future:
-Halt black’s advance in the center
-Set up a fiancetto of sorts: Nf3, Bg2, though not necessarily in that order. Note that they both target center fields, though getting pawns out there is also a Very Good Idea
-Not forget out the left flank: more importantly, get those pieces about and about so we can put the king somewhere nice and safe.
-Tell bookgirl_me not to write extensive chess strategy posts at 12:30 a.m.
The only way I know to win in two is to move your queens’s pawn out, then go diagonal to the left so that the king is in your sights.
With his second move, Black attempts to occupy Wall Street but takes a wrong turn and winds up in the center. Where is the rest of the 99 percent?
I approve of this.
Attack me, will you, Sir Knight? Two can play at that game. We’ll see how you like it when I [3. … e4] attack you. En garde!
this is great
man I haven’t played chess in forever
Not since the begining of the school year in preparation for the Wizard’s Chess game one of the clubs I’m in sponsored. I really want to again!
Impudent rogue, to leap so boldly into the fray. But my foot-soldiers (4. … f6) shall teach you the error of your ways. Once more, I say, en garde!
Whar!! I was clicking the back button to see the last few moves when my internet stopped responding for a few seconds. I clicked it like 8 times and then it reloaded and I appear to have accidentally moved the white bishop to a terrible location. My apologies
I wasn’t intending to move anything.
((I don’t think you moved the bishop, Jadestone. I think you just happened to be watching when someone else did.))
[5. … fxe5.] Foolish knight, to be laid low by a common soldier. Oh, by the way, well struck, my doughty warrior. You shall be rewarded, if you survive this battle.
Now the Dark Lord surveys his lines. He needs to bring out more powerful forces to reinforce the pawns in the center. What’s more, pursuing that pesky knight diverted some of the guard from protecting the king. This weakness must be repaired. Only then will it be safe to plan further attacks.
I LOVE YOU I AM DYING
Fie, my opponent is starting to deploy ens bishops. I’d better follow suit. I know: I’ll point one at the f2 square, a well known weak point on White’s king side.
I’d like to play, but I’m horrible at chess and I don’t want to mess it up for everybody …
My pawns are under attack from both sides. More reinforcements are needed. Forward, my queen!
I love you guys. Seeing the title of this thread made me laugh. A lot.
This should inspire me to relearn chess.
The Dark Lord magnanimously refrains from playing 8. … Qxf2 checkmate. White’s pale poltroon of a potentate is unworthy of the attentions of my queen. But beware: I shall not be so merciful a second time.
[9. O-O] Castling? Castling is for the–
Oh, wait. Castling is a good thing. In fact, I intend to do it myself as soon as I can. If you check previous games on MuseBlog, you’ll find the loser almost always neglected to castle. Wisely done, White.
In response, the Dark Lord moves out another knight, to try to catch up with White’s slightly superior development.
(10. … O-O, the symbol for kingside castling).
I dithered over whether to castle on the king’s side or to prepare the way for castling on the queen’s side. The square g8 isn’t the most secure place for the black king; the a2-g8 diagonal could give White a line of attack. But I couldn’t resist the chance to put more pressure on White’s f2 square. The rook now on g8 will help me to do that.
(Is everybody watching that f2 square? I keep harping on it, but if you’ll look back, a lot of MuseBlog games are decided either there or on f7, its counterpart for Black.)
I’m not sure what White is trying to accomplish by moving the pawn on the a file, but it seems like a minor annoyance. The real action right now is in the center and on the king side.
Clarification:
“Putting more pressure on f2” is just a metaphor. What it really means is that there are now three black pieces (bishop, queen, rook) pointed at the pawn on f2 and capable of attacking it, but only two white pieces (king and rook) pointed at the pawn to defend it. That means black can take the pawn and break through to menace the king.
Hm, I guess I should have explained that earlier. White has moved 11. g5, probably thinking that the pawn is attacking the queen. Actually, the queen could just take the pawn — but she won’t, because Black has a better move.
Ah, so the lowly foot-soldier dares to menace the dark queen (11. g5). The lily-hued lout will find that Her Majesty is more than capable of defending herself. First, however, we shall dispatch some of the guard surrounding the white king. Bishop, if I may trouble you….? (11. … Bxf2 check.).
En garde, pretender! Your mother is a hamster, and your father smells of elderberries!
The white king flees to a1. Now my queen will demonstrate how she handles impudent pawns (12. …Qxg5.) Whoa! I didn’t know heads could roll that far.
Now the varlet is vanquished. My rook on f8 guards the bishop. All is well in the Dark Lord’s ranks.
13. Ra4 Qh4. Ignoring my hints about the importance of the center and (especially) the danger to ens king, White makes an unusual rook move. Black now threatens Bxh3, stripping away one of the king’s few remaining defenses.
14. d3 Bxh3. White’s pawn move does not counter the threat, and, as promised, Black continues to peel away the white king’s shell of pawns.
15.Rxf2 Bxg2+
The caitiff rook smites my noble bishop. By Grabthar’s hammer, you shall be avenged! Defend yourself, King!
Well, at least it was a fast game.
It’s not quite over — that’s just check, not checkmate. And I have an idea for making the next one last longer.
16.Kxg2 Rxf2+
Fie, another bishop down. You show spirit, King, but my rook will make you rue that blow.
Well, looks like that’s game. I just moved the last move, but I’m fairly sure it’s checkmate now – I hope I didn’t miss anything…
17.Kg1 Qh2++
Checkmate! My beauteous queen delivers the coup de grâce. Who is she that looketh forth as the morning, clear as the sun, fair as the moon, and terrible as an army with banners? Would that all my battles could end so felicitously, with the sight of her fair form fileting the foe.
YOU ARE THE BEST
I love alliteration
and this was fun!
What was the idea you said you had for the next game?
Already in progress. Look for it.
Wow, that went quickly.
We are but ants before you. Also, I think I might actually participate in the next game, since I don’t think I’ll make us lose faster.
White’s 8th, 10th, and 11th moves were suicidal. Those random pawn moves on the flanks might look innocuous, but they are deadly errors against an opponent who doesn’t waste time.