A thread for discussing non-romantic relationships.
Continued from Just Friends, Part 2.
Patience, Please
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A thread for discussing non-romantic relationships.
Continued from Just Friends, Part 2.
Yay! Thank you GAPAs! *Hands pies*
So, as I have been saying on the last thread, there is a girl who I have been trying to become friends with for some time now (years) but I rarely see her. I see her at my Quaker Meeting. She is very shy, and some people here have said she might be scared of multiple attempts at being friends. Do you have something you wish to say?
Red-tailed HAWK
Coming back briefly to ask: What should one do when one thinks that one is losing their best friend?
Hey, first post? I’m here to give advise to anyone who wants it. *looks kindly*
2- I don’t know. Go on with life. That’s what I’d do.
But then, I don’t care about friendships enough to make an effort at staying friends.
Ah darn, third….
2~ If you are growing apart because of conflicting shcedules, try to make certain times that you can be together.
If it’s because of some argument or differences of opinion, then talk it over and try to come to some sort of agreement.
If it doesn’t seem to be any particular reason, then still make a plan to get together and just visit and have fun together.
2 – When one is losing their best friend, one should not run after the person. One should go find another best friend.
Really. I’m serious about this. That’s what you do – if they don’t value your friendship, then find someone who does.
And don’t mope, like I did years ago. Moping helps nothing. Try to make new friends to replace the lost ones.
Midnight Fiddler, I keep meaning to tell you, since you seem to have two spdzk points, would you like any piepoints? (I invented them a while back, and have been trying to hand them out…) Take 100, if you will continue to visit this thread… And anyone else who will try to visit this thread fairly often, ask me and I’ll change the piepoints in my name…
Red-tailed HAWK
Oh my gosh you guys. I have never really been fond of this one friend (A) and lately she has been really, rude i guess persay. So i was really mad at her, for other reasons (for instance saying being a vegan is stupid to my face) and so she was talking to me on aim. We started arguing, and all of a sudden she says “**** you”. I dunno what her problem is, but all i know is we are no longer friends. Tomorrow i dunno what to do, cuz she will be realy mad. HELP!
7~ Oh, okay. Since you’re trying to get rid of them….I’l take some.
8~ Ooh, I really don’t know. I’ll think on that one for a cit, and if I came up with anything I’ll let you know.
Grr. My friend’s crush asked her out, and she’s been completely ignoring me.
2-Sorry, but I have to agree with Faye. Maybe after being apart for a while you’ll become friends again, but I don’t know. I got in an arguement with my best friend a few years ago and we became friends again this year.
8-If you think she will snap don’t talk to her, but if you think she can have a calm discussion then you should try to work things out.
1) As a shy person myself (well OFFline, haha) I’d say as long as you aren’t being creepily persistent, just keep on doing what you’re doing. Being friendly is never wrong, and if she’s really shy she might just be afraid to make steps in the friendship herself, or tell you she appriciates te company, etc. That’s really nice of you, anyway!
2) That’s something that just happens I think…but I do kind of know what you mean. I think it’s really easy to say go make new friends, but if you’ve been good friends a long time that’s hard for a lot of reasons. I guess give each other space, be nice but not too clingy, that kind of thing… I don’t know what the best course of action is but I hope it turns out alright.
8) Ugh I have a “friend” like that…the sort of person who really annoys you no matter what? Well from experience if she says something that you really disagree with, take the high road and ignore it. It really works better then trying to make someone who doesn’t want to see sense understand another point of view. That’s pretty rude of her though, but try to avoid more arguments, that’ll only make it worse…good luck!
this is concerning Unintended Puns post on the last thread: UP, forgivness is a privelage not a promise. thats all i have to say.
8- act like you did nothing wrong. because you didn’t do anything one she’s the one being an idiot. don’t back down because then she will have won.
8 – I don’t really know what I would do. Let me think….. Okay. I guess I would just ignore her. Because as far as I can tell, you’re in the right. If she tries to talk to her, be civil, but don’t talk more than necessary. If she wants to apologize, let her, but don’t keep on being friends with her unless you see a really good reason to.
I may as well post my friend “situation” here…
I have two main friends, A and T. I’ve been friends with A since 5th grade (I’m in 7th now) and T since the start of this year. A and T have been friends since preschool or something like that. Anyways, I’ve recently (Okay, since November/December…) been getting incresingly annoyed at them, mostly because they never listen to me when I’m talking and whenever we do a project for school they never help at all. I really want to just tell them that I don’t want to be their friend anymore, since we’ve sort of grown apart, but I don’t really have any other friends and for some reason I can’t bring myself to say that to them, since whenever I’ve tried to scold/express my annoyance for what they’re doing in the past I always just get laughed at…
Please help. More details available if needed. =/
15-I had a problem like that once. My friend R is my closest school friend, and one time I become increasingly frustrated with her and how she acted, so then I wrote her a letter saying I didn’t want to be as close friends with her anymore. She was hurt by this and I said I was sorry, then she apologized, and we’re even closer now. Sometimes I still get mad at her, though, and I don’t say anything. ..
16 – Thanks, and sorry about that. (As in, last line of your post)
15- 17, well… you’ll still have us.
Seriously, what’s the point of being friends with someone who’s not your friend? Maybe instead of saying that you don’t want to be their friend (which sounds extremely stupid and immature) try to explain the situation to them and suggest that you three work on your friendship or decide once and for all to split up.
Eh, maybe you shouldn’t take advice from someone who hasn’t got any friends to begin with!
Post 10?
15~ Perhaps if you don’t want to spend much time with them anymore and you’re already drifting away, just let them go. Like Vixen said, don’t out and say “I don’t want to have anything to do with you” unless your ready for some fireworks. That’s the sort of thing to say to harrassing/stalking/truly obnoxious people who won’t leave you alone.
18~ But you’ve got us, don’t you?!
That si very annoying. Same thing happened tome. Maybe tell her that she’s ignoring you,and she’llsnap out of it.
18 – Yeah, but I’ll still have to survive school…=/
20 – But the thing is, I can’t…I’ve tried to avoid them at school for the most part, but they’re in several of my classes and I don’t have anybody else to sit with at lunch. They can be fun to be with sometimes, but for the other 90% of the time…
I like my friends. (duh statement!) They support me in my time of need. (I sound homeless.)
Post 10? Post 10?
Well today A and I totally ignored eachother. It was quite nice. And to make my point even stronger, she was being mean to my other friend today, trying to get her to got to the movies by making her feel bad. She uses bad peer pressure way too much. And I really dont want to be her friend. What really bothers me is some of my other friends seem to see me in a different light now, and dont see why i am so mad. Its their decision whether to stay friends with A or not, but I wish they wouldnt look at me like i did something wrong. I will stand my ground, and thanks for all the wonderful advice you gu ys!!!! I feel sooo much better, because for a long time i felt like I did something wrong. But now I know I am just standing my ground, and that she isnt worth crying to sleep. LUV YA GUYS!!!
POST 10? POST 10? POST 10?
26 – Calm down, please…well…um…I would try talking to your friend and letting her know that you’re feeling ignored. A boyfriend/girlfriend should never take the place of a best friend.
25 – Good luck! We’re all behind you.
27- Thanks for not ignoring me. l shall take your advice.
this is an interesing thread…
i havent been lucky making friends this year. First this one girl started hanging out w/ me, but then she started talking to M. I didn’t mind M, so i started hanging out w/ them. But in 3rd period, her friend T started hating me for some reason, and saying mean stuff.
Then i made friends w/ J, but i sorta feel like… i dunno. I really like her as a friend, but she for some reason doesn’t like to eat in large groups, and I do, so we can’t talk at lunch,
Then i made friends with her friend C, but she has a friend M2, and she seems not to like me for some reason. She doesn’t show it T’s way (and thank God for that) but i feel awkward. And id like 2 make friends with A, but her friends, J2 and A2, seem to ignore me.
Then there are ppl who are nice, but M(who is super popular) has decided to make friends w/ them, and i feel shy talking to them now.
15- I agree with post 16. When I was in middle school my friend A was always blowing off all her friends and being really dramatic and generally annoying. I wrote her a note telling her what we thought and that we didn’t want to be her friend if she kept acting like that. We were mad at each other for about a month, but we made up and now we’re best friends.
Ok so concerning my posts on the last thread, there is still a snow day so I still can’t do anything. I’ll write about it on here though if anyone has a better idea…
There is this guy who rides my bus and in elementary school he was very cruel to my sister and I. I didn’t see him for a few years so I decided to forgive him this year, because I didn’t think a person could stay mean for so long. I found out that he had dated my friend and abused her while they were in the relationship. He is very mean to my friends on the bus, and they have both told him to stop, but he won’t. He thinks that everyone he is mean to is a horrible person and deserves to be hurt, even though they have never done anything to him or his friends.
I don’t want to be friends with him anymore, and I know that I shouldn’t be around someone who is so mean, but I feel like if I stop being friends with him he might become worse or that I will be seen as a bad person for it.
30- dont be friends w/ him. just- ignore him. it will help you. If he sticks his foot out to trip you, stand and wait for him to put it away. If he says something, what i should tell you is to tell a teacher, but if youre afraid of that (as I am) just tell a friend and explain. She/he may understand and make you feel better.
agagabagabag- see post 21!!!
#0- Tell him exactly what your problem with him is. And if he’s a jerk about it, leave him. He doesn’t deserve you.
Oops. Last post should read:
agagabagabag- see post 21!!!
30- Tell him exactly what your problem with him is. And if he’s a jerk about it, leave him. He doesn’t deserve you.
33-Yeah but the problem is that I have to see him every day on the bus, and he lives on the same street as me. It’s not like I can just ignore him in school and forget about it. A lot of my friends have already told him exactly what our problem is and he just says that he doesn’t care what people think because everyone deserves it, and then he goes on trying to be their friend like there’s nothing wrong.
34- cOMPLETELY IGNORE HIM, THEN. HE SPEAKS, AND YOU HEAR NOTHGING BUT THE CHIRPIN OF A CHIPMUNK. SIT AS FAR AWAY FROM HIM AS POSSIpLE ON THE BUS. When you get off the bus, go to the opposite sidewalk, even if you live on the other side. He’ll get the idea pretty fast.
35-We have assigned seats on the bus. (what are we, 5?) And it just so happens that his is right behind mine and we aren’t allowed to change them ever for any reason.
I wish he would just decide that he is too cool for friends and leave us all alone. It seems like something he might do.
like I said, treat him like thin air. HE DOESN*T EXIST! I know it’s hard, but it’ll pay off.
30~ Just a question, what sort of abuse is this guy giving to you and your friends? Is he phisically beating you all up or is he phycologically abusing you? Both kinds are destructive, but it can change the way you have to deal with them.
Also, no one, I repeat, NO ONE will think you are a bad or mean person for ending a relationship that is harmful to yourself and your friends. That is self preservation, not a mean spirit.
38-He used to actually beat up me and my sister, but that was in elementary school, and we fought back. Now he starts rumours a lot, and steals our stuff right in front of our faces, like on the bus since he sits behind me he will take my hat and backpack, so I can’t wear my hat on the bus as long as I want to keep it. He’s especially mean to my friend C, just because we like to wear dark colors. He always says that C is going to die and that he worships the devil and lots of other awful things that would probably get zapped.
He was worse to E, when they were dating. She is pretty much afraid of all males within 2 years of our age because of him. So basically, I’m afraid that whatever I do will make him worse to us because he won’t have any reason to be the slightest bit merciful, and he will have a reason that we “deserve to be hurt”. He is very good at reasoning with himself.
39~ Oh. Definately get rid of this guy, you don’t need him as a friend. In fact, that isn’t a friend at all.
If you are polite and tell him that you can’t be friends with him anymore, you are not to blame. If he continues to be horrible then get help from an adult. If you tell him you don’t want to have anything to do with him and he continues to bug you and your friends, that is harrassment and he has absolutely no right to do this to you and your friends.
I would reccommend getting away from this guy as soon as you can, being around him can’t be healthy to you and your friends, and it tells him that you will allow yourselves to be abused. I doubt that he will dump you off easily, because people like that need people to abuse so that they feel as though they have some sort of power.
34- Oh, I’ve managed to ignore everyone who lives in my neighborhood/rides my bus, and I wasn’t even trying. It’s not hard.
post 29? post 29?
42 (29) Well, that person who doesn’t like to eat in large groups sounds like she/he has the same problem as you, so try him/her. ;D
39-Midnight Fiddlers right. I’m going to bed. Goodnight! *yawns*
Wow, now A is taking credit for some little things I did, and they are puny, but its just the fact that she is being like that behind my back when i am doing nothing like that to her bugs me. Why are all my friends blind about this situation. I understand if they are still friends with her, I mean I respect that, but I just cant beleive they havnt seen all the damage she has done and thought nothing of. I am not even close to making up with A, she got on one of my freinds backs again just a day ago!!!! ARG how could she? *grumbles*
What I am worried about, is that my friends will invite her to their parties (I am not complaining, its just, there might be a situation that she would argue or something) and its one of those things where A and I’s friends are probably saying “two of my friends are fighting blah blah blah” you know? And I dont know what to do, because A is really stubborn. AHHH!!!!
45. Poor you. Poor, poor, poor girl.
I don’t know whether this should go on the Advice Column, but I have this friend, and she’s a complete JERK, but she’s “popular” and hasn’t tried to kill me yet. Which is good. I don’t want to stop being friends with her because it could mean the end of my social life as a seventh grade boy, but I really hate the way she treats people. Example:
Her: I think we should have two gym classes. A loser gym class and an awesome people gym class.
Me: Who would be in the loser class?
Her: I dunno. *names half my friends*
Me: Hey! I’m friends with those people!
Her: *incredulus* How could you be friends with them? Claire is [effing] FAT!
Me: So? She’s still nice.
Her: So what? I would never be friends with a fatty.
URGH! *strangles her*
43- i dont have that problem i like eating in large groups!
47- u don’t need her. Its better being a nice loser than a mean popu-jerk.
47-I say just be friends with who you want. I know a lot of people would say ditch her, but as long as she’s nice to you and you don’t betray your friends for her it’s ok. A lot of my friends don’t like each other, and they are often mean to each other. I tell them to stop, but I’m still friends with them.
45- don’t show that you’re angry and anoyed. don’t do anything towards A that could be negative. the point is that if you get her to get mad first without it seeming you doing that then you win.
47- don’t think about your social life so much. seriously it’s not the end of the world if you are dubbed a loser by stupid people who are mean little children. stick with the people who really matter to you. it’s a lot more fun to be a loser and be around people you love and who love you back then to be around people who are popular but you can’t stand. that’s just my opinion.
this is general advice i guess. but i think that people need to be more happy with their lives. i spent five years in hell thinking i liked it. now that i’m out i feel a lot better and 1000 times more loved. seriouusly. though there were acouple people who i actualy loved at my old school (okay only 3) it wasn’t fun. lots of people didn’t like me and in turn i didn’t like them and i really really really truly hated myself then. i hated the way i looked and i hated the way i was and i hated the people around me and sometimes it would just be too much and i would breakdown crying. and i didn’t understand it or see it then but i do now. i was realy unhappy. this year has been awesome. i have met people i really like and love and i see them every day. i have friends that just seeing them, no matter how bad a mood i’m in, they always put a smile on my face. i still am not always pleased with the way i am but that’s okay life isn’t perfect but i am so happy. every day i feel good because of the choice i made to leave hell behind. i am also for the first time in years happy with the way i look. i know this doesn’t sound like much but it is. i just wanna say take time to analize your situation and take the path in life that will make you really truly happy.
Thanks for all the advice you guys, I am happy to say that we ignore eachother and just live our lives in peace. Hopefully we wont have any fights again, but in the meantime I know not to waste my tears on her if she cusses at me again, and that really she is not a freind at all from what she has done and said to me.
47-I agree with everyone else, you need to be friends with people who you enjoy being around, not the ones who are only friends with you because of what you wear or who are snotty and what not. Not to be mean sounding, but really, if you dont enjoy being around them you shouldnt hang out with them.
47- Ach, lad. You’re predicament has a simple solution. Cut the strings!
Step 1: Do you have any other popular friends?
Step 2: Are they friends with people she’s mean to?
47~ Beavo, would you rather be friends with that sort of behaviour and condone it or be friends with people that you really care about, even though they might not be as popular as some others? Stick with the people that make you feel like a worthwhile person, the people that will stick by you when you need help. Real friends don’t put each other down, they help each other up. Consider how this girl is acting to you and your other friends, and make you decision from there.
49-I’m already pretty much in the loser category, and that dosn’t bother me as much as sinking as low as I’ve been in the social ranking. I’ve been pretty low for a long time, and it’s just through sixth and seventh grade that I’ve started to rise a bit. I would NEVER be popular. NEVER.
52-The thing is I don’t really “hang out” with her but it’s more like she’s useful to have around, and a bad enemy. She can make your life hell if she wants to. I’d rather stay above water. She’s horrible to a lot of other people though. I’m just asking which would hurt more: breaking the ties and moving to her bad list or staying friends.
53-Yes, I have other popular friends, and they’re not so idiotic as her. Most of my friends get along.
Also: The thing is, when I try to express my “darkness” that you’ve read on the previous random threads, nobody believes me. They think I’m being melo-dramatic. I’m to happy and insane to ever feel sad. I’m so tired of masking, it takes all my energy. Energy that I need for when I’m being the real me.
55- In that case, are those popular friends friends with people she disses?
Well.
Beavo. I think I know how you feel. A lot of people on this blog are pretty much saying to you “Cut the strings, you don’t need her if she’s a mean bizzitch” (this is a generalization of the above posts, so don’t get defensive, kay thanks).
Well, that’s not always true. Sometimes, when you’re just not accepted into society, you need a friend who can sort of give you a leg up.
Now. I suggest that you, Beavo, try to find a second popular friend. It’s not that hard, especially with a different grade (of course, this is tricky if you’re an eigth grader). You don’t have to cut strings with her, you just have to lessen your relationship. Find another popular person who’s not so much of a bizzitch (which yeah, is possible). Set your sights a little lower: so maybe you can’t hang out with the most popular kids, no one said you had to! Look for a different group of friends who will accept you for who you are.
Of course, if you really don’t care about being accepted or not, you can just hang out with the “losers”. That works too. lawl. :heart:
post 48?
Just Friends. Excellent.
Can we add my FRIEND Guitar Man? Muscial genius? awesome? Who I am not attracted to in the slightest but everyone says I am dating/ “would be cute with”?
Oh, and the fact that my friend wrote “Otzi, come see me, your pregnancy test is back–Nurse H” on the socials board in front of everyone? I handled it by fake crying and telling her, “You know it’s yours, right? YOU HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THIS, DRYN!!!”. Still embarrassing, though.
58~ Well? All you said is that you like eating in large groups.
59~ Yeah, sounds embarrassing. I sounds like a milder form of what one of my friends does, calling the office and leaving messages for her friends. Then they get called in and it looks like they’ve done something wrong…I’m so glad I don’t go to school with her!
Beavo — I don’t know what the exact situation is, but maybe you could just try and spend less time with your mean popular friend without actually getting on her bad side? That would probably be the best balance to strike, not getting her mad, and also not spending too much time with her, but I don’t know if that’s possible here.
59 – Embarassing? I suppose. But you handled it very well!
Hello. I am here to make a public service announcement to all the younglings. This will save your sanity: Never go to high school!
Ok. I didn’t mean that because education is a foundation for the rest of your life and without a high school diploma you will get nowhere.
But I am so mad I think I may soon start to hate high school. Or go mad. Or both or all three or however many there are.
So anyway, there is way too much drama in high school, and I can’t wait for it to be over. I’m so mad at myself for even acknowledging it or having any part in everything that’s going on, but I can’t just say I quit without losing almost all of my friends. Actually that doesn’t sound so bad right now for most of them.
Ok I’m done ranting. Ignore that.
56-Some of them. My school’s social ranking systems are way out of whack right now, partly because of the arrival of four hot guys within one month. Which tips the scale immensly and everyone gets shifted around a whole bunch.
57-That was probably the most helpful post yet. Thank you. Like I said in the above response, the scales are all whacky and I suddenly have mega-popular friends who were nerds, and complete outcasts who used to be preps. I’m that guy (most schools have him/her) who’s in pretty much every clique at one point, and has connections with all of them, but dosn’t really “belong” to any one group. Most of my friends are spread out between four or five cliques, most of which are ranging between “almost-popular” to “geek”. It’s a good place to be in, really. I’m just saying that even though spending less time with her is a good idea without completely severing our friendship, that’s hard to do when she’s got everyone’s IMs, phones, and social security numbers. If she wants to spend time will somebody, SHE WILL.
I’m really mega-sorry for not responding to Otzi and UP, but it’s 11:00 p.m. and if I don’t get to bed my mother is going to slaughter me.
63- in response to your public announcement, if you dont want alot of drama, go to a single sex school. i just moved to one, and the most drama that i can think of is our production of Merchant in Venice. sad isnt it? but i do have to agree with you about high school drama. it really is TOO much, and it needs to go away (see below story for proof)
in my old school there was this girl E, and she was really jealous of me and was mean to me, even though i went out of my way to be nice to her, and all she wanted to do was get rid of me. When i came back from India, she had kicked me out of our group and turned most of the girls in our group against me, and there was nothing i could do about it, and she made my life miserable. To make a long story short, i have made up with most of the friends i lost, and they have started to turn against E, which is not unsuprising because she is a nasty little *****, and noone really liked her anyway because she is mean to alot of people
65-I wish I could, but the only ones around here are private Catholic all-girls schools, which means I’d have to pay to have religion forced on me by snobby Catholic schoolgirls. I’d really like to be the only girl at an all boys school, but that would never happen.
The sad part is that in all the arguments I haven’t taken sides, but my name has been used to support them. Example: “I hate you! Karin said you’re a (bleep) and I believe her more than you!”
So then the person that this was said to gets mad, and since I apparently called them a (bleep) I can’t really defend myself because I guess that’s something that people just don’t lie about. (what?) I can’t explain any of this to the person who is mad at me because I probably don’t even realize what’s going on yet.
66- id like to be the only girl at an all boys school too. that would be fun
67- I would hate it! i get along waaaaaay better with girls then i do guys. i mostly think i anoy several of the guys who hang out with/eat lunch with the same people i do.
I just found out today that my best friend is bi. Apparently I was the last one to know too, because she came out 10 days ago and everyone told everyone else except me, but she thought I would know.
I think it’s so cool that she came out. For some reason she was all worried about me accepting it. Maybe she didn’t notice all the GBLT support stuff I have all over. Haha!
And I told her that I’m questioning, which was the first time I told anyone who lives near me.
68- one of my best friends is a guy so i am around them all the time outside of school
Oh my goodness. WHEN WILL THE MADNESS END? Well, the infamous girl (i dont remember what I called her on the last thread, but i shall name her A for this post) has done it again. This really probably should partially be on the romance thread, but I am having problems with A, so here it goes. Yesterday I got a text from A’s phone that read :
“Hey this is ____(smartguy) I just have to say i like you just as a friend”. Well that is fine, except for it sounded EXACTLY like A, i mean the wording, and she lies to me all the time. A lot of my friends dont trust A either, and after I JUST made up with her, she starts getting all weird again. UG!!! I tried to tell everyone that I dont want to be friends with someone you lies and says “**** you”, because that is not AT ALL what friend should be like, but they just say “that is just how A is” and A gets all nasty and bleh all over agin. UG. I am just going to avoid her, and if she gets mad ignore it, because I should waste time worrying about it.
can you be freinds with some one who you cant see? for example some one on computer in far away state .
72- Well, I consider you guys my friends…
72-Ya I agree with KaiYves, I consider you guys my friends, and I email people in New York and California, and England….
72-Of course, most of us are in different states on here.
69- Congratulations to you (on telling her) and her (on coming out). Now that’s something on my to-do list…. you know. Coming out in real life to say: my parents, everyone at school except my brother. Only various friends who don’t go to my school, my brother, and all of MB know…. And I’d be fine telling people too it’s just… I need something to… motivate me? I don’t know what it is.
76-Coming out would be extra hard for me (if I was gay/bi, and I’ve been questioning on the whole bi think for a while) because my mom dosn’t believe there is such thing as homosexuality or bisexuality. To her, there’s a guy and a girl, and that’s how it was meant to be. She is so NARROW MINDED sometimes.
I ran into my friend Bridgette yesterday! It was really cool, because I never see her outside school!
One of my friends, K (guy), has been acting really weird lately. He’s doing stuff like blackmailing me and another friend, D (also a guy), to come to his summer house, and lying about all sorts of stuff. He also told me and the other friend that it was stupid to talk to goths, and that goths were retards. One of mine and D’s best friends is semi-goth, so that kinda PO’ed us both. I want to give him a chance, because he’s my friend, but my patience is really running out. He’s acting like a total jerk, someone who I’d normally not be friends with. D’s already given completely up on him.
Is there anyone who’s been in this type of situation before? I don’t even know if I want to be friends with K anymore. I know I want to be friends with D, our friendship was never really in doubt. I just don’t know what to do.
79-That is sort of similar to my situation with A. She blackmails us sometimes, says things like “if you wont be my friend than I will just tell_____that you like them” or “if you wont be my friend I will spread rumors about you”. She also beleives alot of stereotypes, claiming to dislike stereotypes. I felt the exact same way, that I wanted to give her a chance, but that I was getting really sick of her acting that way. I have never really liked A, but dont like it when people look at me as an enemy (something she would do) and she was nice enough for awhile. But lately she has become a real jerk, like K is doing in your situation. I questioned my friendship with A, and finally told everyone that I didnt want to be friends with her, and just ignored her. She started taking credit for things I did, and started spreading rumors about me, but if that is the kind of “friend” she is, I didnt want to have anything to do with her. But, there was teh situation that my other friends didnt know why I disliked her behavior so much, and would hang out with her all the time, so I would see her everywhere. I dont know if our situations are exactly the same, but I would suggest ignoring him, and getting the point across that you dont like the way he has been acting, that he hasnt been a real friend lately, and that if he wants to be friends with you he has to learn how to be a good one in return. But make sure to tell him why you are mad, I have made the mistake of not, and that turned into a whole different mess. Another thing, if people try to tell you that is the way he always acts, if you dont want to be friends with him you shouldnt, because even if that is his normal behavior, why would you want to hang out with someone who does that? I hope you know what I mean, I am not trying to be accusitory, but I really know how you feel. I have about had it with A again, and maybe she will actually listen instead of being so stubborn and selfish. Ick. I hope I helped!!
71- wow. i would not be able to handle tht girl. just avoid her. don’t talk badly about her to your friends because it will make you look bad.
75- some of us even live in a province!
76- there’s no big rush though is there?
79- if I could beat people up i would beat him up. (Kagy in a fight is rather pathetic because she is certain she would lose,)
79 – I would just alert him to that he’s making you feel bad and you don’t enjoy hanging out with him a lot. Then if he says, “Oh, I didn’t realize I was doing that, I’ll try to stop,” you can stick around, but if he denies it or ignores it, you can just leave.
Oy vey. *reminds self why she never comes to this thread*
My friend situation is very odd.
Okay. Let’s talk about Shelby. Shelby was my main confidant and everything else that a best friend should be. She used to call me every day.
Enter high school.
She almost never calls me anymore. I know she hardly tells me anything at all that goes on in her life. And even when I see her at school, I feel like she is replacing me with Deni and Deni’s friend Courtney. I don’t know how to describe this feeling, but whenever I’m walking and talking with Shelby (that’s what we do before first period) and she sees Deni, she usually decides to talk to Deni instead of me. And if I want to talk to Shelby at all at that point, I have to go with her and Deni. Another thing. Last week, I was sick for most of the week (the flu), but I did go to school on Wednesday. Shelby had lost her voice by lunch and was writing notes to talk to people. And who was she mainly talking to? Deni. Not Fio, her ‘best friend’ who hadn’t been in for two days. Of course, lunch has been touchy anyways. Since semester 2 started, Deni has had D lunch with us. Shelby used to sit at the same table as me every day, but once Deni showed up, Shelby switched tables to sit with Deni. Now, Jeff still claims that she’s my best friend, and he said that she’s upset that she hasn’t been able to talk to me lately. I just don’t think that that’s the case.
So in short, I’m losing my best friend, someone who’s been my best friend since fourth grade, and I am getting annoyed about it. And annoyed at her.
83 – On the topic of losing best friends. Man, do I have experience with that. Unfortunately. Well, I won’t go into the details because it’s still kind of happening and still kind of painful, but at the end of the last school year, I made a really big screw-up that got a lot of people mad at me. And so, among other things, my best friend from 5th grade who I had gotten really, really close to called me up and told me she didn’t want to be my best friend anymore. Way subtle, right? Well, I guess direct was actually better in that case. Still didn’t make it any less painful. What made it worse was that I had a sneaking suspicion that the decision was partly influenced by her trying to be in the good graces of — Okay, it would be way too complicated to explain it, so I’ll just say someone else. That turns out to have been maybe probably not true. Anyway.
I was really sad for ages, of course, because tons of people were mad at me and no longer friends with me and other crappy happenings. Luckily, it was at the end of the school year, so I had the summer to have fun and not think about school. When I came back to school, I tried to hang out with my old group of friends whose ‘leader’, kind of, pretty much hated me. Not the best of social situations. I slowly moved to another group of friends, and I don’t have a single best friend anymore, but I do have a few really close friends who I can tell most things to. And I am kind of closer together with the best friend I lost, but that’s just because — I don’t know why.
In short, losing your best friend can be painful. Or maybe angry-making. But if there’s obviously nothing to be done about getting that friend back, try and move on to some new friends. After-school activities are useful in that respect. Good luck!
80- Thanks! That’s pretty much the exact same way I feel. I think the only exception is that I actually did like K at one point, which complicates things a bit. And thanks again, you helped a lot!
81- Truth be told, I think a fourth grader (I’m in 7th) could beat K up.
82- I think I will do that. Unfortunately, he thinks that he’s right in this situation, so he probably won’t apologize. Thanks!
85-You are welcome!!! I hope everything works out. I am having problems with A yet again, but I dont care if she throws a fit, because i didnt do anything wrong that I know of, my other friends would have told me if A was mad at me for a particular reason (but the signs are obvious) so I am just going to sit back and stay out of it. Its her problem if she gets mad at us for no apparent reason. woa, sorry, I ranted!!! Well anyway, I hope everything works out!!!
Oh, bejesus. My school friends dumped me for G. Thank god my old homeschool friends still love me! [hugs]
87 –
But homeschool friends rule!
What is the best way to disengage with a friend with out hurting feelings?*ponder*
86- Thanks, you too!
83- mabe she doesn’t realize what she is doing. this is a complicated and emotionaly invorling conflict and i don’t know what to do.
84- aw. *hugs*
85- I’d feel just i tiny bit bad beating him up because i’m in 9th.
86_ *high fives*
89- there is no way.
OK, this is quite a confusing situation.
I have a couple of guy friends who I have known for years. The funny thing is, they have never said anything about girls, and there were never girls in our “group” if you will of people. I had tried to perhaps have girls in our group just because, and that didn’t really work. But, here’s the catch. I have reason to believe they aren’t interested in girls in any way, and are unhappy because their other guy friends are starting to like girls. Now, keeping in mind I have known these guys for years, and so am good friends with them:
Are they going to be totally shocked when they find out I love the girl I have spoken of on the romance thread? How will they react, considering I’m not going to leave them and not be friends just because I do love a girl? Will they just be fine and not care, will they crazily abandon me even if I am one guy friend they can depend on to stay?
Because I have known them for so long I don’t want them to just think I’m hopeless because I’m in love. But I don’t want them to control my life, I mean I can’t help the fact I’ve fallen in love. What do you think?
Red-tailed HAWK
92-Well I’m a girl so this is probably different, but I don’t think they would mind that much. Some of my friends started dating early and osme still haven’t but we are all still really close. Just make sure that you leave enough time to hang out with your guy friends, and it should be ok.
89-Maybe just don’t talk to them as much. After a while you’ll start to drift away from each other just because you don’t really want to be with the person. They might be sad, but when friends drift apart they usually realize that they aren’t really good friends, or they change and become better friends.
92- uh….. don’t tell them unless they ask…? (what I would do)
okay, i don’t know what to classify this as. there’s this guy… let’s call him D and he hangs out with the people I hang out with at lunch because he’s friends with J (i don’t know him), L(I am friend with) and S(I am friends with). the thing is he’s really scary and gets realy angry really easily. I really don’t want to get him angry. So I will just steer clear from him. unfortunately I sit next to him in french. watever. ignore me.
94-Just don’t talk to him, and if he gets mad try to talk it out or report it if he is violent.
92~ If they are friends that you know pretty well, they shouldn’t have too much of a problem about your being in love.
Hoever, it would be a problem if you just went about talking of nothing but this girl and generally being a nusiance. But that’s not being in love, that’s infatuation.
So my advise is, be hapy about liking this girl, don’t think less of your other friends for not expressing interest in members of the opposite sex, keep your guy friends and have fun with them like you do now, and don’t gush on and on about being in love. I know it’s easy to do, and when someone wants to listen it can be a great way to sort out feelings, get advise, etc. However, when someone doesn’t want to hear about it it’s a real problem. They can be (1) Jealous, either of the object of affection of the time it takes you away from them. (2) Annoyed at the one-track-minded-ness. (3) Feel that you are belittleing them for not having a relationship (or hope of one) or an unhappy situation.
I think you have enough common sense to figure it all out though.
The bottom line is, be honest to them about how you feel, and they should be okay with it. Continue to act the way you always have around them, and remember that it isn’t necessary for them to know every detail of it. I think that you should inform them, because if you don’t it could turn nasty. Also think that they might be havin the same feelings, but don’t know how to express them, or are intimidated by them and so decided to ignore them.
redtailedhawk- Ooh, confusing. If they really are your friends, they’ll forgive you. And, bonus, just don’t talk about it unless something big comes up with her.
Basically…there’s a couple things.
One is that I have a really close friend, and she’s the one I come to all my problems with. Even little things. And I’m worried that I’m starting to annoy her.
Another is that a friend from school, R, is actually really mean to people and says she’s “standing up to them”. She also doesn’t understand the meaning of the word “privacy” and stereotypes all the time. I haven’t told her what I think of her, because I’ve hurt her feelings before, and she’s also closer than anyone else from school.
98- Either
a) Ignore it
b) Tell her, or
c) Tell a guidance counselor. It works, trust moi.
For the other friend, ask her if you’re starting to annoy her. If she says no, then keep pushing. If she says yes, talk to your parents/guidance counselor.
98-If you think you’re annoying your friend just ask her. Also, make sure you thank her for being there for you sometimes. You could do something nice for her for a holiday or birthday, or write a nice thing about her on a website like myspace if you have one.
Maybe for your other friend you could just try to get her to focus on something else. For some reason it always seems like people are mean because they have nothing better to do. (at least around here)
No, it seems that way around here, too.
I feel awful. My friend’s mom hates me because the first time I met her was on Halloween. I was a dead prom queen and I decided to stay in character all night. I thought it was really obvious that I was being sarcastic, and I have horrible acting skills. My friend is an actress so I thought that her mom would know I was faking, but her mom took me seriously. She thinks that I’m a preppy snob who thinks I’m too good for everyone.
My friend said that her mom dissaproves of all her friends who don’t go to the same church as her, and not to take it personally. I didn’t have a problem with that but her mom told me that I should be more like this guy Caleb.
I have a problem with that because Caleb swears, is failing most of his classes, is very unhealthy, smokes marijuana, and has no respect for others’ personal space or bodies.
Moral of the story: Your theater friend’s parents can’t tell bad acting from your real personality.
Hmm, nothing remarkable going on. I don’t know that my friends will care one way or the other, or how they feel about it and such.
Recall I was trying to combine the groups so the genders weren’t afraid of each other (just boys can get boring anyway) and that never went anywhere. It was really difficult. So I’m not working on that anymore, I’m focusing on the friends I do have and waiting and wondering what will happen, if anything. It’s confusing for sure, and I can’t be sure of how it will turn out.
Red-tailed HAWK
UP- tell someone he smokes marijuana, please. Else I will go into a storm of explanation on the diseases you can get if you smoke marijuana.
I’m feeling really depressed. I hate my life.
104-Why?! I’m sorry to hear that… *Hands pies*
Remember, we’re getting married! *Goes off to buy ring*
That was meant to cheer you up but somehow I feel it didn’t. Hmm. Well, don’t hate your life, people care about you…
Red-tailed HAWK
Oh yeah, I forgot! Sorry, I was really depressed the other day. But u made me happy. [virtual hugs].
Anyway, my ring size if five, I think.
104- I’m probably going to tell soon, though it’s not going to do much. He’s already been to rehab multiple times and is quite capable of stopping on his own. The problem is that he doesn’t want to stop. He knows what can happen to him but he likes smoking more than his health. He is also a whiz at convincing people that there is nothing wrong with him, and that they are at fault for “discriminating against overweight people” and the way he dresses.
Oh, and congratualtions on your engagement to RtH!
[bats lashes] Why thank you! I wonder if you can marry legally over internet… not that w’re marrying legally or anything…
108~ Clarification, please?!?! I’m assuming that this is from something on Role Playing Writing…..right?
Uuh, congratulations anyway.
109-Nope, I’m not involved with that. This started on February 29th when MissSwan proposed to marry me. The joke has proceeded from there
*Opens box with beak* *Presents to MissSwan* The ring!
See it cheers people up
No, I don’t think either of us wants to marry anyone at this age 
Red-tailed HAWK
Well, other than any of the Cullen boys or Ron Weasley, you got that right.
Thank you sooooo much for the ring [wears it virtually]
Hmm…not to break up the joy of engagements/marriages, but I have friends issues.
What does one do when one’s friends are filled with hatred for one another?
I have a lot of friends who like each other, and they all hate my other friends. There’s one who “nobody likes” and she’s a really good friend of mine. My friends are always fighting with each other and I just tell them to cool it but they can’t get along or ignore each other.
How do I get these people to shut their pieholes?
112-Hahah, funny timing considering the romance thread’s recent troubles. Anyway, if I can give advice without people thinking I am forcing you into this for some reason:
Hmmm… Do you really enjoy the company of the rude people to not mind what they are doing to your other friends? It’s just something to consider.
Red-tailed HAWK
113-I enjoy their company enough to tolerate it, but I’d really like it if they would listen to my advice in the first place instead of doing something dumb to one of my other friends and then realizing that I was right. They do this so much that you’d think they would just learn to listen to me by now but they’re all to stubborn to admit that none of them are at fault enough to deserve hate. They all think that there’s something wrong with all the other ones.
I’m often accused of being a pity friend with people because I “feel bad that nobody else likes them”. Actually I don’t care if nobody else likes my friends because the only business i have in that is whether or not I like them. It’s just really frustrating when people try to tell me who I like and who I’m pretending to be friends with.
114-Well then it’s your decision as to whether or not you really enjoy their company enough when they aren’t being rude or stubborn or whatever. Also, try to stand in their shoes just for a minute. Is there a reason they are how they are? Is there something that, from their point of view, you could do to solve the situation? Maybe there isn’t any good reason, but it’s always an important step…
Red-tailed HAWK
112- just get up and leave when they start arguing. whn they ask “where did you go?” or “why are you going?” just say that you don’t like hearing them argue. or someting like that.
114- I know what you mean.
I think everyone should know their faults because then they can understand why peple don’t like them. I know exactly why many people don’t like me. i try to change to be like-able but it doesn’t really work.
I’ve remembered why I don’t have any close friends.
If I start talking to someone, while we’re in a group, they don’t hear me! I don’t know why, but I’m afraid to speak louder. And then if someone does notice me, I sort of stammer out replies to their conversations, and trail off and fumble with words. Ugh.
115-I think that the reason they are like that is because they care too much what others think/say about them. One of the arguements was because one of my friends said that some pictures of my friend in a bikini were too revealing, which turned into those look trachy, which turned into my friends are trash, and continued from there. The only possible way i could solve it is to send each of them to a different country, because as long as they can communicate they will fight.
116-Ehhh…that’s called “taking the side of the other person” Even if I say “Please don’t argue around me.” if becomes “hey you shut up! I like my other friend better and you’re not my friend anymore!” People misinterpret anything around here. I’ve been forced to become extremely quiet and politically correct.
117-Ooh, i do that too. I’m always afraid that I’ll scream at people, because I have no sense of the volume of my voice. I usually think “I can hear what I’m saying, so they can too” I hate how conceited that sounds.
i think I said that on the random thread.
Woah long post.
{{{{{{{Alice}}}}}}}} We’re your close friends here.
119- Yes. I realized that after I posted.
120 – ^_^
Anyways, my current friend situation:
I barely see A, T, and K at school anymore. WHICH IS A GOOD THING. TRUST ME.
I was getting all frusturated and depressed-ish whenever they wre around because I would always fight, but…
But now I have no friends, besides you MuseBloggers and a few other online friends. I luff you all. But sadly, you don’t go to my school, so…that doesn’t really work to well.
121- I can’t decide whether to say, “Aw, I’m sorry,” or “Welcome to my world.” The first one is nicer, so I’ll say that. Aw, I’m sorry.
But seriously, now you’re pretty much in my situation. Only you’ve had close non-virtual friends, and I have not.
So, minor dilemma in the chaotic social life of MissSwann:
So, Gabbi just got back from NYC. We’re friends, but I’m not sure if we really like each other. Anyway. She said she met Johnny Depp at a museum or something, and he was in costume and taking pictures. She showed us the pic on her new digital camera. I asked her if she got an autograph; she said yes. I askedif I could buy it from her and she asked my price. I said I ould pay 20$ if it was genuine. She said yes, and it’s all good, right? Well, the next day, she comes to school with the picture she showed me. On the back, there’s this scribbly blob in blue magic marker. She said it said ‘Johnny’. Well, how could she get the picture autographed if she took it with a digital camera? I called her a jip, and she got really mad and called me several unmentionable names. (‘How could you accuse me of such things????’) Now we’re all tight and tense, and I don’t know what to do. and I think JD is a wax statue; the lighting on his cheek is a little shiny for a regualr person.
Help??!!?
123- uh…. just let this disagreement slide and don’t buy the picture. just make a mental note not to believe all her stories.
I didn’t buy it (durr), I just was disappointed, because we have always been sort-of friends. I was crushed, and thought that that was her way of saying “You’re stupid and fugly, I hate you.”
Please note: all of the advice given here is given with only good intentions and is intended to help you. I want to help you because I am your friend. Please do not think I imagine I completely understand your situation and am giving you advice that will absolutely work. Also don’t think I am making you take this advice, I am merely giving it to you for you to consider. I am giving this warning to avoid confusion, but what I am saying about this advice goes for any advice I have ever given.
117-No problem. That happens to a lot of people, even me. The solution: try not to talk to people in groups. I have a hard time talking in groups just because I can’t make out different voices from a crowd. But if you talk to one or a couple of people alone, you’ll be heard more, the conversation may go more smoothly, and you will actually get to know a person/people. If you actually get to know them, you’ll be able to talk more clearly. You’ll feel more secure about what you’re saying, because you know it would be logical to say to the person. Etc. I hope that helps.
121-Meow, I am really sorry you lost your friends (although it sounds like it’s not soo sad because of how they were) but there are other options. I think a common thing people do is think they must have their friends at their school. Another is that “all of your friends must be underage”. Look at the GAPAs, they don’t go to any school and all of them are adults. If you have knowledgeable, caring, nice, trustworthy adults who can help you through life, that is really great, no? And even kid friends can be outside of school. If you find great friends, seeing them every day at school wouldn’t be a great place to have such a friendship. Sorry if that made no sense. I hope it helps.
123-OK, so this “friend” has lied to you and tried to steal from you? She doesn’t seem like such a great friend to me. I’d say see how things go, and if there are any other signs she is really not a good friend I’d advise you not spend time with her anymore. And, I don’t know what to say about the wax statue guy, tell him to wash his face more often I guess, if it really bothers you.
I hope that helps.
Red-tailed HAWK
126- No, she went to the museum of wax statues, with all the famos wax people. She said she met JD. But I think she only met a wax figure of JD. And I don’t like her, I just hang with her because Katie is BFF with Emily who loves Gabbi. So, me+Katie=Emily=Gabbi. See?
123- by the way, don’t call people gyps – it is or derives from a racial slur for gypsies (the romani people).
my firend L finaly shved his stupid mustache! you know how after guys go through puberty they think it’s “cool” to have a moustache? yeah he had one of those and we have been trying to get him to shave it for ever. and he did and he looks so much better. *chuckles* so if any of the MB guys want to have a moustache, please wait until you are older because it looks stupid on 14 yearolds.
126- It’s terribly hard NOT to talk to people in groups, because that’s pretty much the only time I get to talk to anyone.
129-I agree. Facial hair needs to die. It looks good on old guys named Santa, but not people who just hit puberty.
131- Really? I think it makes my buddy Brendon look quite smashing. Not that I like him, in case anyone from my school is reading this right now…
So I have a friend… let’s call him “Slime”. And he likes someone. Let’s call her “Petal”. Slime has a friend named “Arf”. Arf does not have the same charm as Slime, and if Slime asks Petal out, Arf will be very sad. Arf is getting more and more distant and I want to be his friend, especially when he gets jealous. What should I do???
133-Maybe just try to talk to Arf more, and ask him about Slime and Petal, or anything else going on. Basically just try to listen a bit.
So…I feel like I am left out by my friends a lot more than usual, and usually I’m left out a lot. I actually find myself not caring and feeling a bit bad that I don’t want to be around them. I feel like I should be sad that I’m left out, but I’m sad that I don’t care about being left out. Like a bad friend.
Deaddddd threadddddd…
I will post something here to revive it. Hopefully.
I noticed that I talk to my guy friends a lot more than my girl friends. I don’t know if that’s weird or whatever. Just noticed it.
aaaarrghh. there are no people my own age around. dangit.
135-I’ll help wake it up! I just thought of coming here…
135, again-That’s fine! I think I’ve made it plenty clear that the two genders shouldn’t feel separated by a brick wall. And I think most people will agree with me on that, I hope anyway. It would seem pretty silly to me if the two halves of the world never spoke to each other
136-How is that? Perhaps you’re looking “around” in too small of an area. Most of the kids immediately where I live are much younger and are interested in totally different things. Many of my friends live in different counties. And those are just those that are my age. Many, probably the vast majority, are adults, role models, etc. Take the GAPAs for example: They’re all our friends, right? And if you find the right people, especially those in careers you’re interested in, etc., you can learn a lot. And, make the older folks feel a little hopeful about our generation. I sense there’s also a brick wall between the generations. I think we’d be much better off if we did away with both of the walls.
Red-tailed HAWK
137-Yay!! I love your advice. It’s always so optimistic.
Hooray for breaking down walls!!
My bestest friend is coming back to visit in July and I haven’t seen him for more than a year because he moved. I’m soooooooo excited!!
We are going to see if we can have a sleepover at my house, but it probably won’t happen because of us not being the same gender. Maybe it will. I don’t know, but anyway it can’t hurt to ask. Psssshhhh.
138-I am glad you find my advice helpful. I think being optimistic is good in many ways: Making things sound as terrible as they possibly could be is probably not a good idea, being happy is likely a good thing, and seeing possibilities instead of just obstacles is probably another good thing. Also, I am a happy person, so it’s not terribly hard for me to write a happy post.
But, many people here don’t appreciate my happy posts. They seem to interpret it to mean I’m clueless and living in some magical land of happiness. They never do stop to think about the possibility of my advice having some use, they don’t seem to want to give me any credit for knowing anything. Thus your seeing my advice as I mean it to be seen is rather refreshing!
I don’t want everyone to put their hands up and automatically agree or anything, I just want people to consider my ideas and show a little respect. I’d like them to be mature enough to logically discuss something, and not just throw personal insults and act like I am clueless and hopeless. That is how many of the people have seemed when I tried to express my feelings and ideas.
I appreciate your understanding, and hope some of the others are reading this and will at least consider it. I would really appreciate it if people would at least consider the idea that I have been misunderstood.
If I am somehow terribly misunderstanding the people I am speaking of, I apologize, and I’ll happily consider anything they want to say that would explain this better. Maybe we are all misunderstanding each other! I hope something can be done.
Good luck to you!
Red-tailed HAWK
My sister goes around with her friends almost every weekend. Today she went to Cedar Point and when she gets back her friend is sleeping over here.
I wish I could hang out with my friends more, but when they aren’t grounded they already have plans with other people or my dad doesn’t feel like letting me do stuff with them.
The only problem I really have with it is that I just end up sitting on my computer all weekend, which just gets boring after doing that almost every weekend for a long time.
Maybe I should get friends who are never grounded and don’t have anything to do on weekends so they can hang out with me? Also known as cloning myself.
-137 Yes, thanks for the advice. you’re right, maybe I’m not looking in the right places, I do have two friends though…
Ah. I want to quit being the muted, quiet, shy, FOOTNOTE of a kid.
at school.
Hmph. I don’t feel like ranting about it right now. But I said I’d post on here, so I shall.
Agh.
I was just IMing this guy, and then he left.
That’s not the first time he did that.
He just didn’t reply for a while and then signed off.
Next time he’s on it’s CONFRONTATION TIME!
I didn’t even tell him I’m not coming to this school next year.
Ugh. I’m in a bad, bad mood now.
I’m confused. Some of you may remember my complaints about A for the fast year. We’ve fought like crazy, and our friendship has nearly ended several times.
And then we were IMing, and she said this:
And for some odd reason even though we fight like crazy and annoy eachother to death I miss you MEOW.
Except she used my real name instead of Meow, of course.
It’s odd. And I didn’t know what to say.
Okay, this is odd. This girl, B, who I don’t really know very well, just IMed me saying this:
B: Y R U so rude 2 me? We used 2 B friends but now UR acting all pissy and stuff. and Im getting tired of it
me: What?
B: 2 day when I said hi u just ignored me
me: What? No I didn’t. I said hi back…
I said “Hi”, waved, and then went back to talking to S…
B: What Ev. U said hi in a snoty voice U R a short b****y 8th grader
me: I did not…
B: What Ever
And then she went on to say “sorry about me right now… can we start over…” and “sorry. i really im thankful 4 you bing my firend” within the next minute or so.
What should I do? I’ve never been that close to her, because every time I tried she wouldn’t be very easy to get along with. But I’m not exactly sure how to interpert this all.
145) Ouch….my suggestion is to just keep some space. Either she just wants to annoy you, or she has some other intentions.
I’m not sure that B is that great of a person. Just go on with your life and keep some distance.
146 – Yeah, that’s sort of what I”m trying to do.
Meow: If I got that sort of message, I would go talk to her in person – that’s really weird. I, of course, am one of those people who can’t stand being accused of anything I didn’t do, and will do everything I can to, erm, clear my name, I guess.
I’m sort of losing my friends. E, with whom I have been best friends or at least close friends since before kindergarden, doesn’t go to my school, and we hardly ever see each other. L, who was never really that good a friend until last year, but we have a lot in common and we became pretty good friends, just went to high school. So again, we almost never see each other. And there’s no way we’ll be going to the same high school.
R, who was one of my only friends last year (like L), is a good friend. But she and I have nothing in common and we don’t even always get along. She doesn’t really care about school, but she’s really enthusiastic about sports, for example, which is just the opposite of me. She’s also been becoming better friends with J, who is great and everything, but they seem to be almost excluding me a lot. For example, I have heard R say multiple times, “Anna, will you please move, J was going to sit here so that we can talk about something.” Also, “Anna, please go away, J and I are talking about something private.” And even when I am there, I never seem to be included in their conversation.
They are nothing like clique-y girls, and it may be that I’m just too shy-like to say anything, but I really feel out-of-place.
And I have absolutely no social skills, and have no way to make new friends except talk with the “popular” girls – who are really smart and really nice and a lot like me, but have about twenty million friends and with whom, again, I feel out-of-place – during school.
And, as I said, I have zero social skills.
I’m really frustrated about my birthday this year because I’m turning 16, and I won’t be able to have the big party I wanted because some of my friends haves stupid grudges that they can’t let go for a few hours. There aren’t even reasons behind them. One of my friends hates 2 of them because they are “an ugly couple” (they’re dating) and the guy is a republican. I’ve told this friend that if he has a problem with them he needs to say it to their face and stop talking crap about my friends to me, but since there’s not an actual problem nothing is happening.
Anywayyyy, that’s why I can’t have a party. I’m going to try to get my mom to let me go on a shopping trip to NYC with my friend. I think I should because last year was my year to have a party, which I didn’t have, and I can’t have one this year only because of my friends. (my sister and I alternate years of having parties. when we were little we were convinced that this was a good idea.i’m pretty sure sweet 16 is my exception to the odd years.)
In my gym class I’m talking to my friend Bahookey. (nickname) I was friends with her in middle school, but I haven’t really talked to her for a while, and now I’m even better friends with her. I think I’ll try to have her come over for my birthday too.
Some people are so stupid! Sixth graders are to young (and anxious) for romance! Yesterday J (close guy friend) and I were waiting to get back into Core after break. I had forgotten to put my clarinet in the Band Room so I was carrying it around with me. Then, a girl named E grabbed my clarinet and held it over her head. I grabbed for it, J too, and he finally got it (I don’t know how, I’m much taller than him) and gave it back to me. E asked us, “Are you two like, boyfriend and girlfriend?” Umm, NO! I made a little sound in the back of my throat, rolled my eyes, and went inside.
I had a great time in Earth Science yesterday. H, Ju, A, (all boys) and I were figuring out how to work a Triple Beam Balancer. (
) I can’t really realy it back to you, but they were actually really fun. It’s turning into my favorite class, and not because it’s at the end of school.
*ahem* This thread is dying, but I need to rant about some crap in my life right now.
Okay, so my best friend (let’s call her Orange) since forever is acting… well, kind of bitchy. It all started on the opening night of Breaking Dawn, wayyyy back in August. I had invited her to go with me, and it was decided that she would come and then sleep over after. So I call her the night before, and she says that she’s sleeping over at her friend (Snake, for now) ‘s house. I didn’t say anything, because she’s really forgetful. I called Syllabub and we went together, but I was still really torn up about Orange’s last minute refusal. To console me (she could tell that I was upset) she said that she would go with Snake to Barnes and Noble to see us and squeal about Twilight, etc. But she NEVER SHOWED UP.
Incidents like that have been cropping up everywhere since then. I would call her and we would make tentative plans, (basically plans that we both knew our parents would approve, we just needed for them to tie the knot of officiallity), and then she would tell me that she was going to a party, or a sleepover, or a track meet, or a craft fair, or SOMETHING with Gorilla (other friend in her clique) and Snake. Sometimes she would act like it was a prior commitment she had just forgot about (which was believable because she has the worst memory of anyone I know), but other times she would just pretend like we never had talked about getting together.
(Convo Sample; Incident A)
Me: “Heyy!”
Her: “Heyyyy!”
Me: So, can you make it tonight or do I have to make my olds come and get you?”
Her: “Oh, I’m sorry!!!! I forgot to tell you and write it on my calendar and stuff like that… I have to go to Snake’s gramma’s house with her… her cat just had kittens!!! And I might be able to foster one!!!!!!!!”
Me: *trying to conceal hurt tone of voice* “Oh, really? That sounds like fun… kittens, yay!”
Her: “I’m sooo sorry… I forgot about it, I made plans like on sunday with her…”
Me: “Forget about it. Another time. Hey, did you see Project Runway last night?”
Her: “Oh, yeah, it was cool…”
*topic changes*
(Convo Sample; Incident B)
M: “Hi!”
H: “Hey! So guess what?”
M: “What?” (thinking; your parents are letting you come over tonight???)
H: “Gorilla and Snake got their parents to take us to the school dance tonight!!! Isn’t that great?”
M: “Oh… cool.” (But I thougt…!?)
H: “Yeah, I have to go, she’s pulling in the driveway… but I’ll call you after!”
M: “K, bye!”
*hangs up*
She doesn’t call back later. (Another thing; she never calls back!!!!!!!! EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Can you see why this is frustrating to me????? She never calls back. When I call her and she’s on the other line with Snake/Gorilla she tells me that she’ll call back when she’s done talking to them (and she NEVER DOES) and even when she’s talking to me, a friend calls, she switches lines, and she never goes back to me. I tried calling her one time during this incident and no one answered.
I’ve never said anything before, because it hasn’t been too bad (I can cope with it, I mean), but now I’m just plain mad.
On Sunday we were talking on the phone, and we were saying what night this week we could have a sleepover. We both agreed that Saturday was free for both of us, and we agreed that we would keep Saturday open, NO MATTER WHAT. And I refused several offers of fun things to do on Saturday throughout the week because of her.
I shouldn’t have wasted my time.
I called her yesterday, and we got talking about our plans. I asked her if she could have her parents drive or not; and she launched into explanation. Apparently the previous night she had gone over to Snake’s house so they could go trickortreating, but before they could even leave, her mom came to pick her up. Snake got mad at her, and she decided to have a Haloween party to make up for it. Orange told me that Snake was really ‘upset’ and ‘mad’ at her for her mom picking her up early. Apparently Snake had planned a Halloween party, and she had just told everyone on Thrursday that it was to take place on Saturday. It’s from 3-9, and she called me to apologize; she can’t come to my house. I burshed it off as usual, but then I suggested that she leave early and come to my place. She said it sounded like a plan.
Well, I called her yesterday, and I asked what time she was coming. She paused, then said that she had told me that she needed to go to Snake’s house. Then, before I could remind her of our ‘leave early and come to my house’ plan, she said it was lunch time and she had to go. She then hung up on me.
Any thoughts? I plan to confront her if it happens again, but I want your input.
151- she doesn’t want to be friends with you anymore. the way she’s acting is incredibly rude and mean. I think you should stop setting yourself up for disapointment. don’t make any plans with her. She’s treating you really badly and I don’t think a nice person like you should have to deal with it. That’s my advice. as much as you like her, she doesn’t seem to return the feelings. I think it would be for the best if you just let her go. I don’t like seeing her taking advantage of you like that.
151- As this is had been happening with me and Leaftgreen, I offer my advice/input. Try spending less time with her and try to find other friends, like Ling Jung and Soo Jin (nice people- Math, PE, Band, Science). Eventually, if you become really good friends with those other people, you can eventually stop being all mad over Orange. It worked for me.
I’m going to use Korean names for my Korean friends, okay? No snip.
In fifth grade I had two best friends- Leafy and Hei Young. Hei Young was really nice and she was funny and smart. She really cared about me and offered a shoulder to cry on when needed. Summer vacation- ruiner of my social life. Leafy went to the Boys and Girls Club with Pear and Pretzel and all our other friends. I stayed home, blogging here and occaisionally going to camp. Guess what happened to Hei Young?
Hei Young’s family was here with her father so he could study engineering. They got a two year Visa. Over the summer, the Visa ran out, and they moved back to Korea. We still email, of course. But I really miss her, and I wished I had been a better friend toward her (I was a really good friend, but she was way nicer than I deserved). How do I cope with this overwhelming sadness, remorse, and grief?
153- Same here. My friend moved to Minnesota two years ago. I feel like I should have been better friends with her. But I sorta moved on. After moving schools five times, I was pretty experienced at making new friends.
man, you guys are better at keeping in touch than I am. I haven’t seen anyone from middle school since the end of it. *feels a bit guilty*
Unrelated to the topic you guys were already discussing…
So, in June, this girl who I was really close best friends with in 4th and 5th grade (I’m in 9th now, and we’re still pretty good friends) told me she was bi. I’m not homophobic, but I was, I like to think understandably, a little unnerved by this at first, because she was the first bi person I knew and it crossed my mind that she could’ve been crushing on me at some point. That freaked me out a little, because I’m straight. But she had/has a girlfriend, and she knows I’m straight, and etc etc etc. So I’m reasonably sure now that she’s never liked me that way, and I’m comfortable talking about her girlfriend and such in normal conversation now and joking about it and stuff. It’s not a stigma.
And then a little while ago I was chatting with my current best friend, who I’ve known for like six years and who’s been my best friend for like three… and she told me she’s bi, too.
And I swear I’m not conciously being homophobic or egocentric or anything–I try really hard not to be–but does that say something about me? Not that I’m bi, I mean, but like… does the fact that both of my best friends from the bast five years have been bi reflect something?
I’m a little unnerved/freaked out/whatever at the moment, and this was about the only place I could think of to ask.
Oh, and I have a boyfriend, too. And this isn’t going under the romantic relationships thread because it’s not. Just clarifying.
156/157 i’m in a similar situation. not exactly the same– they’re just going out with each other. it doesn’t really have anything to do with you (or me) that’s just how things work out, I guess.
hugs for you though, I know how it is
Update on the Leafygreen Situation~
Yesterday, I caught her after she came out from changing in PE (She has PE last period, FYI). WE kinda walked together adn got our insturments from the band room. Then we went to the planter in front of school to wait for our parents. She asked if I had my mP3 player with me. I said no, it’s charging. She inda didn’t talk to me after that. Then one her NEW friends came over and asked her how she was doing, the SAME QUESTION I ASKED HER. She had answered me with, fine, but she answered this girl with, “Ooh, I’m doing great! Today at lunch, my friends,” she glanced right over at me when she said this word, “All started singing really annoyingly at lunch, including my best friend, Pretzel,” tears were welling up in my eyes at this point, “And they all sang the weewee song, a song I made up in fifth grade, until I hit them. Then the bell rang, and Pear, Pretzel and I all went to Science together, and we had a great time!”
If Leafy had been telling the unembellished truth, it would’ve sounded like this- “Ooh, I’m doing great! Today at lunch, my friends all started singing really annoyingly at lunch, including my best friend, Zinc, and they all sang the weewee song, a song Zinc made up in fifth grade, until I hit them. Then the bell rang, and Pear, Pretzel, and I all went to Science together, and we had a great time, but it would’ve been even better if Zinc was there!”
See, this girl isn’t the most great or popular person in our school. She was lying about me in a negative way right to my face. I didn’t correct her because I didn’t want to be seen crying in front of her, and I didn’t tell because I still wanted to be her friend again. It had been getting a little better before this, now, I’m realizing she’s signaling that we aren’t friends anymore. At all.
I don’t know what happened. All this started with us not sitting right next to each other, and somehow it escalated up to this. I mean, Ling Jung, Soo Jin, and Pasta (kinda friends) are nice, but…. it doesn’t exactly feel the same.
*curls up into a ball* I feel lonely.
Very lonely.
159 – I’m sorry, Zinc. That’s got to be really hard for you. -hug- Honestly, if Leafygreen is being that horrible though, you might be better off without her as your friend. And while I’m sure you’d rather have everything be back the way it was–who wouldn’t be in that kind of situation?–it really might be a good thing. If you hang out with your kinda friends, eventually they’ll become your really good friends, and you’ll be a lot better off than you are now. Best of luck getting through the loneliness, though. There’s always everyone on MuseBlog to talk to.
160- The thing with my kinda friends- they’re all best friends with each other. When web eat together at lunch, I feel… excluded. I want to leave behind Leafy, but we’ve been friends for so long it’s hard. Bad news- I think having her here in the blogisphere is making me cling even more. I’m seriously thinking about taking her away from my name and to get rid of her in the RPGs (I’m keeping Liss, though. She rocks.). This is my decision, and… I’m going to go through with it. Sorry, but I need to move on, and her blogself is not allowing me to. Of course, I’m going to be nostalogic about her. This is my final decision.
159-*pats* There, there…
Ok. This is pretty much what happened when I was going to Science-
K=(boy in my class)
M=(me)
K: You need to go to college to get a job.
M: I don’t NEED to go to college! I’m going to be an actress, and I already almost got chosen for Broadway!
K: *laughs* What a joke! And you need to go to college to be an actress.
M: No I don’t!
K: Yes you do!
And me and K, who are pretty good friends, wouldn’t speak for the rest two hours of school.
151-That stinks. *hands over choklit* I know who you are talking about, and it sounded like she used to be a really good friend of yours. I wouldn’t even try to make anymore plans with her. But if you still want to try, I would call her and ask her why she keeps blowing off your plans. If she says she’s sorry, try to make plans with her one more time. But if she blows that off too, then just stop trying. That means she obviously doesn’t value your efforts to hang out with her.
161-Wow Zinc. That must be really hard for you. *hugs and choklit* It takes a lot of guts to do that.
This is making me really sad. I’m glad my friends are solid.
163- I’m starting with MA first, just as soon as someone else posts…
156- I understand that you are a bit unsettled. I don’t think it’s homophobic. you simply were startled at the news because you weren’t expecting it. you moved on and accepted who they were.
159- aw zinc. *hugs* *offers shoulder for crying* this sounds like it’s really hurting you. have you tried sitting down with leafy and talking over how you guys feel? It might help. But if she’s signaling really hard that she doesn’t want to be your friend then I think, even though it realy, realy hurts, you need to let go. because as much as it hurts now, it’s gonna hurt more if you try to hang onto a friendship with someone who really doesn’t want to be your friend. although I don’t understand why someone wouldn’t want to be your friend, you sound like loads of fun to me.
161- understood.
162- well that’s silly, especially snce you’re right. Michael J Fox didn’t finish high school and he was a great actor.
some of my friends are really anoying me. sometimes the way they act gets on my nerves but it feels like that’s been happening more and more recently. I suppose I’ll just weather the storm. It’s probably just a mood. on a different note about annoyance. man are the grade 9s annoying. I know some of you are in grade nine (and if you are anyhting like me you will be trying not to be annoying as everyone expects you to be) so I’m just saying that the ones I am not friends with are anoying. They are loud, extremely energetic to the point of being annoying and convinced that the world revolves around them. I’ve been in rehearsals with them for two performances and when they are in the audience they talk nonstop and loudly. meh. I wish people would learn proper rehearsal behavior. *rant ends*
165- Bagel (seventh grader, friend, somewhat, but not really) told me that the way everyone spots a sixthlet is-
@ Running to class.
@ Diminutive appearance.
@ Sitting in front of their next class.
There were others, of course, but I forgot them. A sixth grader is NOT the same as a sixthlet. A sixthlet is constantly confused and scared of middle school.
One of my friends snaps at me all the time lately. Like today when I was trying to get her to remember this resteraunt we went to…
Friend-I have no idea what place you’re talking about.
Me-*knows she’s been there* Y’know, the reeeally good pizza place? In [NH town]? Y’know? *prompts*
Friend-Well maybe I haven’t been there! *shakes head* *Angry voice*
Ugh. I hate hormones.
I have no friends. Literally. People pity me, I think. They seem to think I’ve got *problems*. I HATE middle school and am currently trying to convince my mom to let me be homeschooled again.
Lady G: You homeschooled??!! I have been homeschooling since first grade. Wow, its been awhile. 5 years of HSing.
I’m homeschooled until fifth grade and now in eighth I’m back at it.
168 – hugs.
I’m so sick of people making fun of other people to no end and especially when they think you agree with them and just blaaaa.
Not just normal people either. (Haha, “normal”..) Celebrities too. Let’s just go and rip people apart! Yeah..ugh.
Whoa. Horrible grammar on the first line.
Should be “I was homeschooled until fifth grade and now in eight I’m back at it.” Or something like that.
169- I was, till fourth grade. I went to public school for 2 years and now I’m on my 2nd year at private school. i”m in 8th grade, which sucks.
So, um…does anyone have advice for working with a person you once had a crush on, found out they didn’t like you, still flirted with for a while, then had a bad fight with, then became friends again with…then months later, the person has this thing where they keep acting like you were never friends at all? He keeps saying “I don’t care about..*insert something I’ve commented on here*.”
I would leave, but there’s the whole “his parents are making him stay” and I don’t want to quit the class. This thing’s been going on for…this is the third year.
Should I be worried if I’ve realized that one of my friends is actually my long-lost twin?
174: *shrugs*
On Tues. and Thurs. my school gives us tutorial. So, after tutorial, we have lunch, and then all the band geeks who have nowhere else to sit sit in front of the band room to eat our lunch (Melon, Spumoni, me, and some others.). So, I took out my dictionary to read, and Melon grabbed at he tried to look up “frumpy” (it’s in there). Then we looked up all the dirty words we could think of, shoved the last word in the dictionary into people’s faces (look up “zygote” for why we did this.), and ate lunch. We’re so weird.
170- I know! I also dislike when people are all “oooo I hate that actor, they’re so ugly” but they’re only saying it because the actor is goreous and was in a crap movie that no one likes.
173- well. do you mean you have to do a project with them? I’d say be polite but not friendly. That person obviously doesn’t want to associate with you (for some unimaginable reason, as musers are the coolest people ever) so don’t be over friendly and warm if they are just going to be all “I don’t care about what you say to me”. so, an example of what I mean is instead of, when you greet them, saying “hey, how are you?” a simple “hello” will suffice. don’t be hostile, just be polite and corteouse(sp anyone?). don’t talk to much because they seem like they don’t want to talk to you. just be polite and you should get through it. but don’t be hostile or angry. that’s just my advice/ me rambling. sorry if it’s confusing.
175- I know what a zygote is and I still don’t get why you shoved it in people’s faces. looking up dirty words in the dictionary isn’t weird. I’m pretty sure everyone’s done it at some point in their life.
I am very scared and very alone.
First off, one of my best friends, S, is dating a guy who got OD’d at school and was in the Children’s Village for two months. Since we go to different schools, I’ve been trying to convince her via cell phone that this guy isn’t right for her, but she’s convinced. Now, I know this boy. His name is E, an he’s not very nice to his girlfriends (aka sex and violence). I’m afraid that he’s going to try and take advantage of her in some way, and I know she’s not ready for that. She has had a spotty relationship with him, on and off, and I was so relieved when she left him because he tried to force her to make out with him, and now she’s gotten back together with him. I’m really scared for her. She’s not the sharpest tool in the box(I say this with all affection in mind), and I don’t know if she understands who sh’s dealing with. I just don’t know how to tell her that he’s not safe, because she won’t listen to me and gets defensive when I try to convince her of the truth. I know it’s not my place to break them up, but I am really, truly, scared for her. What can I do?
Also, I’ve been speaking with my other best friend, M. We’ve been as tight as a knot since pre-k, and I fell like she’s pulling away from being my friend. I was talking to her yesterday, and she was going on and on about all of these fun things that she and her ‘friend’ R (who has used her for shoplifting before) have been doing, like playing at her house and shopping and going to movies and skiing. I haven’t seen her in months, and she hasn’t invited me over or to anything. I really miss her, and every conversation we’ve had has been distant. High school is completely tearing my friendships apart. The only people I still really connect with are K, my other best girl friend, and M, my best guy friend. I wish I had never left S*S.
I feel so…alone. Thank Koko for the blog. You guys are always here when I need to talk. *hugs*
177: Aw. *hugs and choklit, take when needed* I feel the same way. You know, I think I’ll make a banner. Stick with M and K; who knows, you might even make a whole lot of new friends.
*sigh* Leafy’s trying to be friends again. I’d rather not, perchance, for… it would be awkward. She’s said hi; I mumble something and walk away. I feel like I’m snubbing her or summot. I don’t like the feeling, but I like being with my new friends. Spumoni and Leafy knew each other from B&GC, and… they don’t like each other. I’d never met Spumoni before, and Leafy had never talked about her, so when me and Leafygreen split up, I became friends with her. She’s different than Leafy; she’s a bit more calm and it’s a bit easier for me to talk to her about boys and such. Leafy never really had a crush of any kind, as far as I know. Spumoni is also a bit less violent than leafy, and she doesn’t draw me into fights. But Leafy and I have been best friends for so long, and Spumoni is really awesome, and I feel like I need to move on. I can’t make Spumoni and Leafy like each other; they’ve hated each for a long time. If I choose Spumoni, I get Frosting, Melon, and Noodle in the deal too, as they ‘re all Spumoni’s friends from PCE. Frosting’s really nice and she seems to care a lot about everyone. Melon’s smart and funny, and sometimes we go to the library together. Noodle’s strange in his own way, but gut bustingly hilarious. If I choose Leafy, I get all of my old friends back. I’m happy in different ways around them all of them, the TRE and PCE groups.
And of course, don’t forget Alfalfa. She’s a nice girl who’s in a few of my classes, but her friends do NOT like me. Alfalfa and her friends are as tight as glue, but she’s really nice, and….
Ooohhh, I just don’t know what to do. I have so many options it’s make my brain whirl.
[Removed at the poster’s request. –Admin.]
177- that is a situation. I don’t what I can say that would be good advice. *hugs*
178- well, I’m glad to see you’ve been making friends. I really didn’t like seeing you so lonely when Leafy left.
179- mabe you should straight out tell her that it feels like she’s avoiding you and doesn’t want to talk to you. then make another time. if she shows: she still likes you and is trying to please. If she doesn’t: she doesn’t care.
177 – I’m sorry. -hugs- All you really can do is tell your friend everything you’re already telling her, and to tell an adult if you find out that he’s hurting or abusing her in some way. And well, as for the other part, invite M to do stuff if you want to stay close with her; otherwise, stick close to the good friends that you still have, and try to make some new ones.
178 – I think you should definitely stick with Spumoni and her friends. It sounds like you guys have gotten pretty close since you stopped hanging out with Leafygreen, and you shouldn’t leave her now. Besides, Leafy might change her mind about you again, and that would leave you feeling hurt and alone again. Plus, you like being friends with Spumoni, right?
179 – If the videomessaging isn’t working, why don’t you just IM or email? It’s not face-to-face like video is, but it sounds like that’s not working anyway. Hope things get better with D. -hugs-
180: Yes, that was the time I had to eat lunch alone. Hiding. On some stairs. *sigh* It was my first time ever I have had to do that. It felt… like someone had taken a shovel and scooped out my insides. Like I was hollow.
177-Just keep a close watch on them. Maybe he’ll realize that he should be nice to her, or maybe she’ll realize that he’s a jerk. She probably likes him because he seems mysterious. Some girls, myself (unfortunately) included, like to think that they can “fix” guys like that, and if they’re with that guy they can help him and solve all his problems and live happily ever after. This almost never works but girls still chase after bad boys.
It frustrates me that I can’t hang out with 2 of my best friends. One lives in North Carolina and the other in Cleveland, so I never get to see them. My friends around here aren’t as close as they are.
My English teacher was making fun of college people who have younger friends, so I’ll ask you guys. Do you think it’s weird for a sophomore in high school and a sophomore in college to be friends?
One of my best friends is in college and we talk about all the nerdy things that none of my high school friends care about. I like to think that I have college friends because I’m mature enough to be around them, but my English teacher thinks that people shouldn’t have friends outside their school level and the ones with younger friends are immature.
173–Thanks for the advice! Things are getting a little better now.
183–Nope, it doesn’t seem that weird to me. I’ve been friends with a couple of seniors at my school when I was only a freshman…and a friend of mine who was in seventh grade was good friends with a senior here last year. It all depends on the maturity level of the specific people, right? You do seem mature.
183- no, I don’t think it’s weird.
I dunno. I find if I’m spending time with people older than me I’m listning rather than talking. but I like it that way. i like me better when I’m listening.
183- My best friends are a soph and a junior in college. I’m in eighth grade.
83: I have friends who are in college. You guys rock.
187- Zinc, I think you mean 183.
I just need some hugs and assurance that I’m doing the right thing. I have a friend. Let’s call her Lavender and another friend who I will call Violet. Well both Lavender and I are close friends with Violet. We are relatively good friends with eachother but to be entirely honest, there are many things I would never share with her. My dilema is this: Lavender is really, really getting on my nerves. For some reason she thinks it’s a good idea to bug her eyes out and shove her face near mine. I wouldn’t like it if anyone did that. I ignore her when she does that and I think she’s getting the message that I don’t like it when she does that. that’s not it though. For some reason she likes to point out that certain habbits are bad (i.e juice boxes). Okay, number one: we recycle. Number two: even if you buy juice in a big container that container has to go somewhere. so she obvously hasn’t thought it through. She also listed off this huge conspiracy theory sounding thing about why you shouldn’t use tissues. I just nod and smile, because there is really no point starting an argument over that. I am finding that I do not want to be in her company and I just don’t know what to do. I really don’t want huge conflict to start because violet might be pulled into the center of it. I don’t want Violet feeling traped because two of her friends aren’t getting along. therefore I have promissed myself that if something does break out I will keep violet out of it. (that seems reasonable right?) am I doing the right thing? do you have any advice? It would be much apreciated.
on a completely different note: Lavender didn’t go to one of the evening rehearsals for a play we are in. The next morning I came up to her and said (in a conversational way, no bad intent) “Oh, you missed fight choreography” and she says is a really worried tone “fight choreography? when?” and I said “last night” and she said “I didn’t know we had a rehearsal”. Which I thouht was really stupid because we’ve had the whole month’s schedual for rehearsals since the beginning of November. So she was moping for a while and I really couldn’t feel any sympathy because we’ve had the schedual for about a month now. Just because it doesn’t sya fight choreography, it doesn’t mean you should miss a rehearsal (she had dance class) but also she didn’t email the people running the production to tell them she wasn’t going to be there. I just couldn’t feel any sympathy. could you?
189- I know a girl just like Lavender. She drives me CRAZY. Let’s call her… Chihuahua. Chihuahua always gets up in everyone’s faces about the slightest little things they do. If someone says something that could POSSIBLY offend anyone, she says, “You have to apologize now. That wasn’t nice,” or some such first-grade goody-goody crap. Come on, Chihuahua, we’re in eighth grade here. Wake up.
Anyway, Lavender. You should tell her that what she does is annoying. If you’re lucky, she won’t realize that it was annoying you, and she’ll stop. If you’re not and she’s like Chihuahua, she’ll only get worse. Maybe you could ask Violet if Lavender annoys her, too, and the two of you could confront her together.
183-I don’t think having friends in college is weird at all. I’m in 7th grade and I have a friend who’s a junior in college!
190- I just don’t want to make Violet feel like she has to be on a “side” or even bring her into the conflict. but thanks, by the way: are you lady galadriel?
Here is my friend situation at the moment (I’m using flowers):
Lily: My best friend. Last year, we were alike in every way and did everything together. This year, she’s being homeschooled, and I haven’t seen her in months. We try to be pen pals, but she takes a long time to respond to my e-mails.
Dandelion: Nice, I guess, but kind of annoying. She always tries to make me be friends with people, and she sometimes tries to convert me to her religion.
Daisy: Would be a good friend for me, but seems to be trying to avoid me, even though she’s in all of my classes. I think she’s trying to make friends with “cooler” people, and being friends with me is not exactly the best way to be accepted by them. (They generally think I am stupid, talk funny, and wear weird clothes.)
Tulip: Seems nice, but hardly talks at all and is generally unnoticed. Dandelion brings her to sit at our table at lunch, but she just reads and draws.
Rose: Another one of Dandelion’s friends. Comes from Russia and knows only a few words of English.
Moonflower: Me. Very confused about who I should be friends with.
192- yes. I just figured that my *real* blogname is quite hard to spell, and since people usually abbreviate it to LadyG, I’d just go with that. I was thinking of changing my name, though.
194: Don’t you DARE change your name!!!! I like LadyG!
193: Eep. Well, I have advice for Tulip. Next time she comes over to your table, make a small commment on her drawing. “Wow, that’s really good!” is a nice one. Then leave her to her peace. Just do it once or twice, though. Shy people don’t want people asking them questions all the time.
no more advice for 189? cus I kinda need it? please?
nope that’s fine. it’s resolved anyways. too bad this thread is dying……
*squeal* Hei Young just emailed me! Here it is…
Hi rob^^
nothing really special in korea… – -;;
I miss u so much.
my mom said that since i went into this international middle school, i’ll be going 2 america after high school ã… ã…
i can’t wait…
(Me again) Hi rob^^
nothing really special in korea… – -;;
I miss u so much.
my mom said that since i went into this international middle school, i’ll be going 2 america after high school ã… ã…
i can’t wait…
What does that second to last paragraph mean?
Anyway, I’m glad she emailed. She doesn’t have that much time to. She calls me Rob (for Robin) or Marbles, my dog name (Leafy was Kitty, and cat. We were her pets!). And the saddest thing is that I got a nasty sunburn on our graduation water park trip, and the last time I saw her, I couldn’t hug her, because that really hurt.
She was in denial about it the whole time, and I was all set to see her in pre-algebra and band in September, but… she wasn’t there. I had a present ready, a present for all my friends, but it’s still sitting on my desk. I miss her so much.
On a set of drawers on my desk, there is a shoebox. In that shoebox, there are keychains, pencils, postcards, and letters.
What is that box? The Before and After Box.
(Hei Young)
Keychains from Canada.
Pencils from Yellowstone, Yosemite, and Catalina Island.
Letters from Yellowstone and Catalina Island.
Postacrds from Canada, Yellowstone, Yosemite, and Catalina Island.
(Leafygreen)
Notes in class.
My science journal, since she made comments about Bill Nye in there (and we watched a lot of Bill Nye).
A hand drawn bookmark.
My JGB book, since we both wrote and drew in there (I like her Meepit).
My 5th grade planner (she write and drew in that too- we wrote all over anything we could!).
(Alfalfa)
A plush white mouse with a wreath (adorabubble); a gift for Christmas.
(Frosting)
A hand made bracelet
(Grape)
A Team Edward button (I don’t know why I’m keeping that…)
(Spumoni)
A recording of my performance as Galinda the good witch in the song “Popular.”
i’m gonna need a bigger box.
I don’t really know where this post should go, so I’ll put it here. First of all, I’m a boy. There, that’ll clear up some confusion. Now, one of my best friends, perhaps the best, is a girl. I’ve only known her since the beginning of this school year, but in the past three months or so, we’ve really gotten to be good friends. However, I’m not exactly how I feel towards her. By that, I mean I can’t tell if I like her as a best friend, or something more. Any advice?
I can’t decide how I feel about my friends this year. Three of them, K, T, and B, I’m really starting to like hanging around. I wish I could do something with them outside of school, but for some reason I’m too shy to.
Anyways, ignoring that, I also have another friend, A, with whom I’ve been sparring on and off for ages. It got really bad at the end of the last year, and even though it’s better now, I like hanging out with K, T, and B more when she’s not around.
Now, here’s the thing: Out of our whole group, only B was going to go the same high school as me, and she’s a year younger. That’s bad enough, but now it seems like A might be coming too…I can’t decide how I feel about that yet.
The high school problem really bugs me. A lot of kids from my middle school are going to the same high school I am, but a lot aren’t. Probably half our graduating class is going somewhere else. I’ve been with all of these people for at least a year, and some up to four. Graduation is going to be amazingly hard either way, and high school is scary.
200- Only 4 students from my middle school went to my high school, and they were students with whom I was not friends. You’ll make new friends in no time — high school isn’t as scary as people make it out to be.
198- I hate having international friends(I’m assuming Hei-Young is international, who left?).they come, they leave….Hee-Kyung, from like, 4th Grade, Kana, Asendri, and now Elizabeth I have become so close too, she will leave (all beit in 3 years) this is horrible….and Hee-Kyung, Kana and Asen never email, its terrible…I cant think about it….*sniff* And the most horrible thing is I never really said goodbye to Hee-Kyung, she told me she would come back in September and so in September I asked my teacher “when is Hee-Kyung back” and he said “shes not coming back” that was awful….even though I was 7
Ok, I’m having an incredibly frustrating time at school.
One of my friends (A) admits that she is sad/depressed all the time when she’s not at school. Sometimes, she’s sad at school, too. She has carpal tunnel and got it from playing the bass too much. Her parents are divorced and she hates her dad, stepmom, and almost all her relatives on her dad’s side. What’s more, her dad has custody every other weekend so she’s forced to go over there.
It scares me because she writes poetry all the time about death and other things such as suicide and heartbreak. She also wrote a really scary story for English that almost mirrored her life except the main character cut her wrists. (BTW she got 8 extra credit points on it) When I try to cheer her up, nothing works.
I’ve had no experience with extreme sadness, except for maybe twice a year after fights with my dad and when relatives leave after Christmas. I haven’t had any experience with divorce or death, either. So, my question is, how can I cheer A up? Whenever I try to, she always makes excuses.
Example conversation:
Kyra: What makes you happy?
A: My friends at school.
Kyra: So, to make you not sad at home, think about your friends!
A: But then I think, ‘they’re not here’ and daaaa! *mimes cutting wrists jokingly*
Kyra: *sighs in exasperation*
A: You should write me another one of your poems.
Another thing that really annoys me: I write CRAPPY poetry and A obsesses over it because its “happy.” I only write poetry when I absolutly have to for school and then it sucks, at best. Maybe I should write one to cheer her up… but then I would only be thinking about how annoyed I am at her forcing me to write poetry.
There’s this girl who always flirts and actually tells me she’s trying to seduce them, and always acts wounded over nothing. Example:
On class trip. I am in her room.
Girl (G): Oh, I miss him so much. He took five years to give me this necklace, and now he’s gone. *sobs*
All: Oh, we’re so sorry.
Later, after she meets another boy on the same place, who gives her a bracelet.
G- Oh, he gave me this bracelet, he’s so sweet.
Nice Girl- Oh, I met him! He introduced himself, and we talked. He’s so nice.
G- I always knew he was a flirt! *swoons*
All: Oh, he loves you best. Calm down.
That night, in bunk.
G- What should i do? I have two pieces of jewelry from two different boys…*talks for a long time*…I remember when I rode on his bike and ahh…I feel so hurt…
All: Oh, we’re sorry. Poor girl.
And in first grade:
G- Look at my shirt! It has a shelf! It’s my first step to a bra!
Me- Okaaaay…
When pretty and nice new girl comes:
G- I hate her. She’s putting my popularity in danger.
When I tell her I’m taking the ISEE that day:
G- I hope you suck on the test!
Me- Great. That really makes me feel confident and self-assured.
Another convo:
G- Goth girl, goth girl!
Me: There are cute things in black. I wear them because I like them. Goth is more rejection of society than just wearing black.
G- Idk. goth! Hahahahahahaha!
But she has hardly any friends. So I can’t really blow her off, but she acts like a (censored so GAPAs won’t have to) in front of the boys and puts me down to look cool, which, believe me, is NOT succeeding. She also regularly tells me I’m a “wimp” and a bad actress, whereas I pride myself on my singing and acting.
Do I get piepoints, Red-Tailed Hawk?
203- I have no idea how to help, I’m sorry.
204- um…. that girl just wants attention. I suggest ingoring her attention seeking ways.
205- Uh, well, any friend who puts you down to make themselves look good is not who you want to confide in. Her not having friends is not your problem. She thinks much to highly of herself and that is her major flaw. Hang out with other people. don’t confide in her. that’s my advice. But don’t brush her off in a really mean way. These things are always delicate. Be nice, of course, but don’t be close.
Here’s my problem: I made friends with C at my dance group in July, but in September I realized she was also friends (I’ve never asked, but probably since the beginning of the year) with M, and she liked her better than me. M is all right, and I feel close to C when M isn’t around, but I still feel left out when they’re together. H hangs out with me or C or anyone else, but she’s not actually my friend although I think/hope she potentially could. It’s just that I’ve never even been out with any of them or to their houses, and I don’t have anyone else, but they do (or at least C does, and m and H don’t strike me as social disasters).
So I get annoyed when people say “My friends don’t like me any more and I’ve only got these two people now…”(not that I’m criticizing any of you, I just need to rant about it.)
It’s quite possoble to friends with someone a lot younger/older than you. I’m 12, C is 14, and H is about 9.
202: It isn’t so bad. She emails. And yes, she lives in Korea. Her favorite song was “Hey There Delilah.” I belive I mentioned that she wants a ‘nickname,’ like mine bieng Zinc the sroceress. She likes reptiles, animals, plays the flute, and her favorite color is green. I remember something about [peace sign]Peace on Earth; goodwill to reptiles[peace sign], and she loves it. But she and l both ask– how do you make peace signs with unicode??
183- I think it shows maturity when people can connect with others in different age groups. I have friends who are freshman and friends who are in college (I am a junior). I don’t surround myself with immature people, but the ones who can hold up a conversation involving thought and reason.
193- Email can be hard to talk with people through, and sometimes harder to keep in touch with. What really works with this (for me) is instant messaging, where you can have actual real-time conversations, but you can still multi-task unlike talking on the phone.
203- Stuff like that is always hard to see/experience. She could be legitimately depressed, or at risk for it… though sad poetry is not always an indicator (oh my, just look at what I write), her family situation does not sound like it would help her feelings at all. A suggestion I have to maybe help her feel better when she’s at home is to write her a note in school for her to read when she gets home and starts to feel depressed. The she knows you care about her feelings, and has something from a friend to cheer her up.
I don’t know what to tell you about poetry writing except that I love it so I always tell people to write poetry to get out emotions. Maybe you could find poems you like online that are happy and suggest them to her instead of writing a bunch of your own, though?
204- Eh… she sounds like an unpleasant sort of person…
205- An extremely unpleasant person. I know you are her friend, but that’ snot ow a friend should teat another. You say she doesn’t have a lot of friends, and if she acts like that, I can understand why. Have you asked her to stop?
Yeah. She basically says, “Just kidding,” and goes back to doing it 5 seconds later.
OK, this will probably be a long post, but ’twill remind everyone to post here…
My friend situation:
(and I use initials for people in relationships mentioned on R&R, pseudonyms for people I’m having *problems* with, and real names for friends.)
K: pretty good friends, we IM a lot and hang out together sometimes but lately we’ve been extremely busy… she just asked S out…
Meghan: pretty good friends, Latin buddies, hang out a lot at school
Soleil: crazy, but we all love her anyway… at least, SOME of us do
Magenta: doesn’t trust me with anything, never lets me in on inside jokes, ANNOYING
Daisy: didn’t invite me to her birthday party, leaves me out of stuff
Connor: we’re getting to be better friends lately, it’s fun to talk to him, etc… but if this turns into R&R I wouldn’t know what to do. I don’t think it will, but…
Andrew: well, I mean, we’re friends, but he IS kind of annoying. OK, really annoying. Also he has a friend with Tourette’s, which can get a bit awkward.
Konrad: always fighting with me. And Daisy. Which means he likes one of us. Probably. And he still manages to
askpester me for help in Latin.Terry: friends, but her boyfriend is a little sketchy.
Christy: friends.
Ali: AAAAAAH, she just moved to Australia! *sniffsniffsob*
And a bunch of other friends with nothing going on.
Update on Chihuahua: We’ve decided that we’re going to try to be nice to each other, and it’s working. I wouldn’t say we’re friends, but we’re civil.
208- Invite her to the MB!
Visit this thread!
So, I have this friend. She and I are both homeschooled, we’ve been friends for 7 years, and our mom and dads are friends and her younger brothers are friends with my brother. Since I’m homeschooled, don’t have a homeschool group, and don’t go to a synagogue (because there’s none where I live and everyone’s Christian), I’ve never really had any friends in town, and she’s been my only one. She used to live about 3 hours away, so aside from occasional visits, we wrote letters back and forth. She was my BFF and I was hers. Then her and her family moved even farther away then they used to be, and we started IMing each other instead of writing letters. About a year ago, after we’d been IMing for a while, my friend started to put herself down. She said stuff like “i don’t have any talent” “i’m bad at everything” “i’m dumb” etc. Around this time, I had started taking an art class at the local high school, and I would tell her about it when we IMed. I was doing fairly good, and my mom sent pictures of my art after the local art show. When we would talk, I tried to tell her that she wasn’t dumb and that she did have talent, but she’d say “whatever…” So I just ignored it and kept trying to talk to her and be there for her. At the same time, I started talking to her (older) brother once in a while, which became more frequently, as she became less talkative and was putting herself down more. Well, I stopped talking to her brother (different story), and I’ve been trying to talk to her again, but she’s still acting like she was horrible at everything, even though she had entered a contest and won, being picked out of thousands of other kids to go with 14 others to Australia. I’ve slowly stopped talking to her, not because I don’t want to be friends, but because I just don’t know what to say to her when she starts putting herself down, and because it makes me uncomfortable. I’m thinking that maybe she’s comparing herself to me and feeling like I’m so, so, talented or something, and that I’m too good for her. But I just learned from my mom that one of the parents of a kid on the trip saw some photos that my friend took, and was really impressed. This parent was a professional photographer, so his opinion has more weight, in my opinion, than someone who’s never studied photography. She was invited by this photographer to come and take a class from him! But when I talked to her today, and congratulated her, she said that he was just doing it to be nice to her mom and dad. When I told her that didn’t make any sense, she said “whatever…” And where I used to be her BFF? When she was talking to me today she said “My BFF ___ bought a horse!!!!!” and that hurt. I mean, I guess I haven’t been the best of friends, but she hasn’t been either. And if she didn’t want to be friends anymore, she could have said. So…I don’t know exactly what I’m asking, but…I really had to get it off my chest…and if anyone has any idea what I could tell/ask my friend, I would appreciate it.
My best friend lives in North Carolina. (I live in Louisiana.) We met at camp last summer and the only time i have ever seen her besides camp is for five days when i stayed with her for a few days for her Bat Mitzvah. We both have other best friends where we live, because it is natural to have another best friend if you have a whole other set of friends, but at the same time we are best friends. We email each other a lot and call each other three to five times a week, and we have talked to each other about how we actually like living far away from each other. even though we miss each other a ton during the schoolyear, when we see each other it is sooo much fun.
I have a friend who doesn’t realize when she’s hurting me. She gets anoyed at me, because I still haven’t finnished LOTR (which she hasn’t even read). She says she’s joking but it doesn’t feel that way. I handle it by saying: your annoyance at me is getting to be hurtful. YOu haven’t even read the books, who are you to judge. (something along those lines). She then gets really defensive and all “I was just joking”. NO apollagy. Am I being to hard on her do you think? It kind of hurts what she’s doing. It makes me feel worthless.
Just act like you don’t care, and she’ll get bored.
216- Ouch…
OK, here’s what I’d do in that situation, Kagy. Either:
1. Tell her that when she’s “just joking,” it’s not funny. Say something along the lines of “I don’t know if you’re doing this on purpose, but when you say stuff like that and then say ‘just kidding,’ I really don’t feel like you WERE just kidding. Can you stop doing that?” Now, either she’ll say “I really didn’t mean that, etc., etc.,” or she’ll say “just kidding” again. If she really wants to be your friend, she’ll start making an effort. If she doesn’t, start politely turning her down when she asks to come over or if you want to do stuff with her, and make it clear that she’s gone too far.
2. Email her and tell her exactly what’s bothering you. Tell her that you want to work this out. If she gets all defensive again, just blow it off with some casual, I-don’t-care response- “OK, I get it, you were just kidding, can we move on now?” And just stop hanging out with her if she’s doing this all the time.
So the same annoying girl I posted about earlier was paired with me in Tech, cuz we’re taking pictures to use on Photoshop and the Lasso tool, etc., and I took a billion pics of her and she’s like, “I look fat. Ehhhhh. I’m mad. I’m not taking pictures of you.” and she always does this insecure act, like “Am I fat? I’m fat, I know it! No guys like me. I’m ugly. ” and everyone’s like, “No, you’re great and lots of boys like you, we’re sure!”
Eeew.
219- oh goodness. Girls like that are just so annoying.
too many people care about homosexuality! If to people love eachother the they should be alowed to have a relationship!
This post may be rather long. And GAPAs, a new thread would be nice, just FYI
Ok, here’s one of the groups I hang out with currently:
K, who is going out with S, needs to be called “Kite” now because this has turned into a Just Friends problem and no longer R&R news. So, Kite has become completely obsessed with stupid S, who will now be called Sand. More on this later.
Magenta, who has been going out with Blue for a few days now, and is getting even MORE obnoxious. Although Blue is being really sweet, and they’re REALLY cute together, but that just makes it worse.
Blue, going out with Magenta, but usually hung out with us anyway even before he asked her out.
Daisy, who’s really obsessive about HER boyfriend, M, who doesn’t go to this school. She’s really mean to me and Soleil.
And the nice ones:
Meghan, who I’ve been getting closer to lately. We’re both REALLY mad at Kite and Magenta and Daisy, and quite a bit jealous. It’s actually getting so that we have the exact same thoughts and stuff, and we can like read each others’ minds or something because we’re both so mad at them…
De’Vaughn, who I used to hate but now he doesn’t annoy me so much anymore because he’s ALSO wildly jealous of stupid KiteandSand and MagentaandBlue. Not to mention the fact that he liked C up until a little while ago, but couldn’t get up the courage to ask her out, and the entire school knew who he liked including C, so poor C didn’t know what to do.
Soleil, who Daisy is really mean to for some odd reason, and who Magenta and Kite just kind of ignore lately. Not that they’re doing anything different for me, Meghan or De’Vaughn. Soleil is one of those crazy people who some of ens friends love anyway and SOME of ens friends pretend to love en so they can make fun of en.
OK, so the situation at lunch yesterday was the eight of us at the table. Somehow I managed to get stuck in between Kite and Magenta. Sand wasn’t even there, he was off sitting with some of his friends. I was pretty good friends with Sand over the summer and in September, but then he switched out of a bunch of my classes and I got closer to Connor instead… yeah, I have lots of guy friends. Anywayyy, De’Vaughn or Kite mentioned some picture that Kite sent to De’Vaughn, rather stupidly. So De’Vaughn was like, “Ooooh, I should post that picture on FaceBook!” (it was, apparently, a really weird picture). The basic gist of the conversation:
Kite: Hey De’Vaughn, did you get that picture I emailed you?
De’Vaughn: Yeah, that’s a really funny picture! Has [Sand] seen it?
Kite: NO, and you should NEVER show him. It’s a HORRIBLE picture.
De’Vaughn: I should post it on FaceBook! That would be so funny!
Meghan: Yeah, put it as the first page! And you could make a thing called “Weird Pictures of [Kite]!”
Me: And make sure [Sand] sees it.
Me, Meghan, De’Vaughn: *crack up*
Kite: That’s not funny! Don’t EVER put it on FaceBook!
[argument continues for awhile]
Kite: DON’T DO IT, De’Vaughn!
De’Vaughn: I will!!!
Everyone else:
De’Vaughn, Meghan: *get up*
Magenta: Wow, [Kite], you have a lot of weird pictures of yourself. I really hope De’Vaughn never gets ahold of the one where you’re balancing four chips on your tongue.
Kite: Oh my gosh, I hope he never even finds out about that one!
De’Vaughn, Meghan: *sit down*
Me: Hey De’Vaughn, you know which picture you should really put on FaceBook? The one where she’s balancing four chips on her tongue! [I’m not proud.]
De’Vaughn: OOOH! I gotta get that one!
Meghan: Oooh! Which picture is THAT, [Kite]?
Kite, Magenta, Daisy: YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO TELL HIM, Hannah!
Meghan: Wait, what did Hannah do?
Magenta: Told De’Vaughn about the picture.
Meghan: Which picture?
Me: The one where [Kite] is balancing four chips on her tongue. But De’Vaughn doesn’t have that one.
Kite, Magenta, Daisy: *shun*
[later, out on the Upper Field]
De’Vaughn: Hey Meghan, Hannah, want to see the picture? [the original one, not the chip one]
Me, Meghan: Sure!
De’Vaughn: *pulls up*
All three of us: RUN!
Magenta, Daisy, Blue: DON’T SHOW THEM!
Us: *see* Hahahahahaha, that’s HILARIOUS!
Kite: What happened?
Magenta: De’Vaughn showed Hannah and Meghan the picture.
Kite: Noooo!
Um, yeah, a little help?
My, my.
Stupid FLASH class. It’s alienated all my guy friends and now they make obscene jokes.
222- I am lost. And this is a gigantic Facebook fight? Ahh, those are my weaknesses…
224- De’Vaughn wants to post a weird picture of Kite on FaceBook, and he and Meghan and I are being incredibly mean to her but can’t seem to help it. That’s the gist of it. The three of us are mad at Kite, Magenta, Blue and Daisy for being so obsessed with their bf/gfs, and it feels like everyone’s taking sides, and I’m getting closer to Meghan and De’Vaughn but really jealous (Robert would probably say envious, right?) of Kite and Magenta, and Daisy has been being really mean for some time now…. yeah. Did that clear up your confusion at all?
225- My head is spinning, but I will do the best I can…
As for the FB picture, I think that the best thing to do would be to stop with the picture, and maybe the tension between the four of you will fall in. Also, why is Daisy being mean? You should probably talk about it with her, and ask her what’s going on. When in doubt, blame those pesky hormones.
I suppose that there’s nothing can be done about Kite, Magenta, and Daisy being in relationships, and jealousy is perfectly normal. However much I agree with your annoyance associated with their relationship obsessions, I don’t think you can do much about it until each one breaks up. After all, this is a teenage relationship we’re talking about.
Hopefully, this helped!
To revive a dead thread…
I was supposed to go to see my boyfriend perform in the school musical tomorrow with a couple of my friends. One of them had already backed out because she was too busy once, but then she said that she could go after all and she seemed pretty excited about it yesterday. Then today she left me a voicemail saying that she can’t go after all, she has too much to do and she needs to do it Thursday evening for various reasons. Which is okay, I guess, but now it’s only my other friend and myself, and I’m really afraid she’s going to back out too and it’s going to be just me.
This is why I’m always afraid to ask people to hang out. I’m too frightened that they’ll reject me…
I’m contemplating deleting this post because it sounds too whiny. No, I guess I’ll post it. You can ignore it if you want.
You and I are in the same boat, and I couldn’t agree more. Ever since my parents shipped me off to private school, I’ve missed my old friends a ton but I’ve been afraid to call them or ask them to do things because I don’t want them to say no. I don’t want things to be different between us! And to *heck* with everyone at private school, I have barely any of their phone numbers and they live 40 minutes away from me anyways. I just want things to go back to the way they used to be. We used to be stuck together like glue but now, everything is falling apart.
Okay, here’s my friend situation.
ThunderClan: High proportion of sensible, law-abiding citizens who think it’s perfectly normal to go around with your nose stuck in a non-Twilight book. Also a rather large group, even for Year 8. Firestar’s been my friend pretty much since my first day, and I like Sorreltail and Leafpool, although they usually sit with their respective other friends at lunch and stuff.
Onewhisker: Sits with me and some RiverClan girls, including Silverstream, in religion, but she’s usually off with WindClan. Probably the most likely candidate for my BFF, I although I’m not sure I liked her cheating in all the games at my b-day party.
ShadowClan: Tigerstar especially is a total bizzitch, even the Year 9s think so. I don’t know about Darkstripe– she seems nice enough, but even so…
RiverClan: Too close for comfort with ShadowClan and Blackfoot and that lot, and a bit less, um, law-abiding than ThunderClan, but I don’t want to ditch them entirely because Mistyfoot is a close friend of C’s. Especially as it’s Leopardstar and Blackclaw that like ShadowClan, not Mistyfoot and Silverstream.
Assorted Year 9s: Hardly going to become my BFFs anytime soon, but they don’t like Tigerstar.
So in the second-last week of term I wrote ShadowClan a note telling them to buzz off, and next morning Leopardstar was telling me how upset Blackfoot was. Blackfoot herself came over and pretended to be upset. Then Blackclaw and Leopardstar were telling some (as far as I could tell) random girls in French class what I’d said, in very unflattering terms. It’s pretty much blown over between me and RiverClan now, and Onewhisker’s friends backed me up, and ThunderClan sure think ShadowClan are bizztches.
So the real problem is whether C likes me or not. She’s in Year 9 at a different school (but lives in the same town as me and Mistyfoot) and I know she’s friends with M (different school again, Year 7), but her mum emailed mine last week and said C couldn’t come to my party because she was going away, but she’d get me a present in Melbourne and it sounded like she was pretty keen for her to see me in the holidays.
And I am said to admit that I don’t have a clue as to who are the popular girls in my year. People like ThunderClan, but they don’t really fit my idea of popular. And ShadowClan are so bizztchy hardly anyone likes them. I shudder to think how confusing it will all get when I get to know the boys at the boys’ school next door… :confused:
Long post, even for me.
211(RoseQuartz)-Re: Ali. *recoils in horror*
229- Well, she didn’t actually MOVE exactly. She’s back now, but she’s going again in the summer. I THINK she’ll be here next year, but I’m none too sure.
Re: Homeschooling. Does this blog atract homeschooled people(like me until this year) or is it just half the US does it. I nearly died when the principal told us how homeschooled kids usually settle in well. I didn’t know they existed, not outside the US.
Okay, so on Thursday the Year Coordinator asked to speak to me. It turned out she was away the last week of term, so she’d missed out on most of that drama, but she asked me if there was anything wrong socially, and I said yes, there were some bizzitchy girls in my PC group, and when she asked me who they were I said Tigerstar and her friends. (Who we had just seen, or Tigerstar and Russetfur anyway, going to remove makeup. Mrs YC was telling them they could tell the teacher they were late because they were removing makeup) I then felt I should tell her that I told them I didn’t like them and they weren’t so bad now. Which makes it sound as though evrything was all right, but I wasn’t telling her about RiverClan.
Later they asked me (I was sitting with them so I could attempt to explain about Bunny Apocalypse, see random thread) what Mrs YC had wanted, so I had to tell them. That brought up the whole “but what did (ShadowClan) do?” debate again, which I really didn’t need. Tigerstar is not in Mrs YC’s good books anyway, so I don’t think I’ve seen the end of this.
Wow, long post, dead thread.
This thread can’t be dead! Bring it back to life!
Here’s my friend situation. (I took away their names and gave them all numbers)
#1 Best friend in 6th grade, still considered that, but mentally* still a little younger than I am, but is intelligent.
#2 This one is not a friend. He is so incredbly annoying and talks all the time, complaining and not letting anyone else talk. Only “friends” with him because he is #1’s friend.
#3 Becoming my new ‘best friend’ he is tied with #1, and I don’t want to pick favorites. Mentally* as old as me or older, and a great musician
#4 Has been an on/off friend for a while now, and is becoming a better friend since I started sitting with him in lunch.
#5 I don’t know if this one is a friend or not. Her political views are on the opposite side of the aisle, but smart and good at debating.
#6 and #7 Walk with me too school every morning. Both consider me annoying. Intelligent, both of them.
Genders: #6, #7, and #5 are girls
Any advice?
* mentally= how far they are into adolescence or not. I am in early adolescence, while #1 and #2 aren’t, and #3 has been in for longer. My voice has started deepening and a few other… signs. But that’s for another thread.
I said, ANY ADVICE?
Um. No. You haven’t really stated a problem per se…
Well, what should I do with #2, for a start? Also, #3 is becoming my new(er) best friend, but I don’t want to betray #1.
Uh, I don’t have that many friends! Wow, I just realized that I don’t even have 7 friends that I see very often. Half of my friends live in a different state from me, and the other half I don’t know all that well. And then, I have my internet friends. So, I really don’t know what I would do with a situation like that, because I don’t have that many friends? Anyway, what are you asking advice for?
The thread is revived!
Kaila is such a hoozbag. She lies. All the time. she goes back at her word, and yells at Bria when she leaves school without us other than Fridays. BRIA HAS AN EAR INFECTION AND HAS APPOINTMENTS ALL THE TIME. I was reading Fruits Basket, and Kaila came up to me and is, “Oh, I’ve read that whole series” really snotty like. So I asked her who the main character is and she’s like, “I read it a long time ago” and then I’m hitting my head on my desk cause she’s such a nub. So I tell her to read it (it isn’t flipped) and then th bell rings. I’m so getting her on Monday.
Remember how I told you she gets raging mad when we accidentally leave her behind? When we TELL her we’re going to the library, she leaves anyway and gets furious the next day. And we’re all like what the cake Kaila.
THEN when I still had a crush on Hawke, I told her because I still considered her my friend. SHE HINTED THINGS WITH OUR NAMES TO ALL THESE OTHER PEOPLE. WHAT THE HECK. And then she’s coming up to me with a LIE about how Bria zapped her with one of her one hints. SHE ZAPPED HERSELF, THE WEINER. So I make her wash it off and the next time I saw Bria I yelled at her. Then I looked over everything (and talked to Vivianne, second flute- nice girl) and apologized to Bria and told her the circumstances and went up and slapped Kaila (breaking my nonviolence vow) and told her that I don’t appreciate my personal life spread around the school. A week later, she punches me in the gut. HARD.
Then, Ms. Ran put us in groups for a project. I got put in a group with Sami (veryveryvery nice, a peacemaker and she sits in front of me: likes squirrels and churros), John (he’d prolly get ostracized in any other group, but he’s a good kid once you get to know him), and KAILA. She immediately whines that she doesn’t want to be in John’s group and goes and sulks in the corner. John’s a really good artist, so we got to work on the poster. Then Kaila said we were doing it wrong and grabbed it and threw it in the trash. When John raced to get it out (he’s very attached to his work, what can I say), Kaila went to another trash can and dumped his art supplies in it. The she went and whined to the teacher that WE were being mean to HER. We hadn’t had a chance to yell at her yet, obviously.
GAAAHHH, and she still talks to me like I’m her FRIEND! HOW DO I GET RID OF HER?!?! *headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk*
Gosh. Something like that happened to me once. It was the most miserable year of my life. Am I making you feel any better? Sorry.
I love Furuba. Kyo!
Yuppers, sounds like Chihuahua. Exactly like. Except she doesn’t act like I’m her friend.
sounds EXACTLY like my *frenemy* Britt.
GAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thinking about her makes my head hurt.
At least school’s over tomorrow and she’s moving. Yay!
I’ve found that to deal with those best is just kinda avoid her. Don’t talk to her if you can. Treat her, not badly, but indifferently. Like she’s just there. Those type of people want your reactions, so don’t give it to her.
Zinc:
I’m sorry. *hugs* I hate people like that. *coughcough99%of my schoolcoughcough*
Usually I just ignore them, but then I have a reputation as the special-ed-ish idiot who never listens and always messes everything up. You appear to have a lot more friends than I do, so you’d probably handle it differently. Sorry, but I don’t know what you should do.
Update on my friends:
Tulip: Is now my best friend. We help each other write stories. I told her about MuseBlog, but she doesn’t really seem interested. Is probably moving to New York next year.
Daisy: Hangs out with Tulip and I. Likes us more now.
Dandelion: *twitch* Not mean, per se, but just sort of annoying/boring. But I can’t bring myself to tell her so, and my mom says I’m being mean and clique-y by not liking her.
Lily: Seems to have completely forgotten about me. Last time I saw her, I didn’t really like her. We just sort of grew apart.
Zinc:
I feel for you. It’s always hard to figure out people who seem to be your friend but aren’t. I’d give advice, but I don’t a solution myself- my arguments usually end with scorched earth, and I spend way to much time apologizing later. I’d recommend telling her-in private- to back off, but I’m not exactly a role-model of popularity.
Rainbowstar:
Personally, I’d give her (Dandelion) some hints about the annoying /boringness. If you bury stuff inside, it comes out eventually, and in my case it caused several cold wars and we (my ex-BF and I) still haven’t made up completely.
Homeschooling)
I was boat-schooled, and spoiled since the few kids I met were always earger to hang out with anyone who seemed to be humanoid and had less than a decade of age difference.
My friends and enemies (nicknamed))
IceQueen: my ex-BF. We sort of made up, but we’re not that close anymore- she’s sort of drifting away, in part since I’m skipping and she’s extremely competitive and still a bit pissed/bitchy.
Polly: is sick and can’t talk without coughing. So much for my weekend roller-blading plan. I only see her on weekends since she goes to a different school and is also one grade above me (not for long).
AAA: (a boy) used to be a friend, is now my nemesis. Obnoxious since I skipped a grade. Is keeping his distance. Smart move for him, because I’m sick and tired of his insults.
Popular Kids: Nice, but distanced. They don´t like IceQueen, and are nicer to me since I argued with her. They’re planning an end-of-school party- I’m going to see if I can get in/achieve short-lived popularity (here we go again). But I have a basement & relaxed parents, and hosting a party could get me popularity points.
Cat & Clique: Friendly. To bad they go to a different school. But they’re the living proof I can befriend to popular kids- just not at my school. They throw some scary partys though. I could ask for advice on planning our classes ‘bash. Or what not to do.
F & V : From the class I’ll go into soon. I just need to find out if it’s just new-cute-small kid nice that wears off or really, potential friend nice. I hope for the latter.
A & B: Also from the upper class. Funny, nice. Also future friend material. Second choice if hanging out with F & V doesn’t work out.
A & J: (boys) Also nice. Not boyfriend types, but definitely friend. And they’re independent from girl cliques, so I don’t need to worry about sitting with them.
Update: C’s school friend T joined cheerleading. I believe it was actually a coincedence(???), not C telling her about it. Anyway, I actually like T, and today we were happily talking about our various teachers. Not really a lot of friendship drama at the moment.
Bloody Tigerstar.
:(to me) Hide here and jump out when I say “hi, 
!”
Well, I hope Tigerstar’s really in trouble now. I’d intended to dob her into (look, I’ll call the Year Coordimator Mrs Joe) for bullying me AGAIN, but it was kind of delayed because of the water bottle incedent.
Wednesday morning:
Me+WindClan: *muck around in corridors before school, even at risk of being caught by the “Science lady”*
Me: *does so*
Onewhisker: *runs off with my water bottle*
Me: runs after her*
Onewhisker: *throws water bottle(which bursts) and gets out of there*
Science lady 2: *catches me*
Me: *dobs in Onewhisker*
Later, in PC
*
Onewhisker: *dobs in
Teachers: *are not impressed*
Mrs Joe: *takes me to my MATHS CLASSROOM to ask about water bottle incedent. Then asks how kids are treating me*
Me: *dobs in Tigerstar+ Russetfur*
Arrghhhh, have to go. Will continue this.
Okay. I’m back.
So then I told Mrs how Russetfur had been banging on about “David” and I’d sarcastically said I actually wanted to kiss one of the teaches (Mr G, my PE teacher, but I certainly wasn’t telling Mrs Joe THAT) and Tigerstar had come up to me in the changing rooms and asked me if I’d kiss him on his private parts.
Mrs Joe: That is over the top. *says she will call their parents* *goes on about how she’s sure Tigerstar has good qualities and bullying and blah blah blah*
Tigerstar and Russetfur weren’t there that day.
In religion class I told Onewhisker, Silverstream, and another RiverClan friend about it all. They asked me what Tigerstar and Russetfur had done, but I think it was a genuine question.
I told Firestar (and Graystripe) about it later, and Firestar said “Yes, Tigerstar can be a pain.
Next morning Mrs Joe came in in PC and said she wanted to talk to Tigerstar in first period (no prizes for guessing why). Later, in PE, Leopardstar asked me why I dobbed in Tigerstar, making it sound like I dobbed her in for wearing makeup or something. (I said “maybe because I don’t like her bullying me or something?” and ignored her)
And M—- and her crowd, not to mention Russetfur, were being a pain in science yesterday. Any sensible person would have ignored them, but I snapped at Russetfur “don’t. Start. That. Again.” and my science teacher was not impressed. She’s already spoken to me about mucking around with WindClan.
I’m a bit worried about being friends with Onewhisker, because the water bottle incedent was her fault, and as I said, she got me into trouble in science for something else.
Another thing– Brambleclaw has a homeschooled friend who will be starting at my school next semseter. I was thinking about how much she sounded like a MuseBlogger when she was telling me and Sorreltail about it, and I have decided to tell ThunderClan about MB.
Maybe they they could help revive this dead thread.
Reasons this thread is dead:
1. My presence is putting everyone off. (?)
2. We all have heaps of nice, popular friends so don’t need to come here. (??)
3. We’re all too interested in our R&R problems to come here. (maybe)
4. There’s a rampant hpb on this thread that everyone else knows about. (???)
BUNNY APOCALYPSE
‘s are attacking this thread and you’ve got to save it!!!!
Maybe this will work?
241- 1. Don’t ever think that!
2-Somehow that never worked for me…
3-I don’t have any, so…
4- *looks around nervously*
I think the problem is that I’m categorizing my classmates into friends (0), acquaintances (several), people I might admit to having met (most of them) and oh, I didn’t know that the zoo was having a field trip (too many).
About a week ago, my best friend from camp, (who is also just my best friend) came to visit me. I decided to have my best friend in the city, (who i will call A) come over for a few hours so they could meet each other. A was incredibly possesive of me, which of course drove both me and my camp friend, (B) crazy. Now, to tell the truth, I’m a bit worried because my bat mitzvah is in december, and I’ll be worried because I will probably have a whole horde of camp friends in, and if I hang out with them at the party a and after the service and all, she might get upset. But I should be able to be with other friends, it’s not up to me to worry about something that’s her pr oblem. On the other hand, maybe i should talk to her or something, for my sake and her sake and my other friend’s sake. Either way it’s not fair to me , if I have to worry about who I’m hanging out with so she doesn’t get upset. Then again, of course I care that she stays my friend and doesn’t make my friends feel awkward, so maybe I should do something. Like make a descision.
244- Ooh, problem. Mazal tov on the upcoming Bas Mitzvah, by the way. Your friend A is probably just worried that she’s going to lose you. Try to hang out with everyone, integrate! At the service, well, should you really be talking anyway? And trust me, you’ll have a ton of people you’ll have to greet at the party, if you have a lot of relatives/family friends, etc. there. You probably won’t have much time to hang out. I had a small thing, but most of my classmates didn’t even get to eat. Try and be friendly with everyone as a group, and everyone will (hopefully) warm up.
I have a few friends, but my closest friends live pretty far away. Most of my classmates I’ll talk to, but we don’t talk outside of school-related things. There are about five people who I’ll actually communicate/hang out with outside of school, and I’m not very close to them. No pouring hearts out there. I don’t care. I talk to my mother, I have friends who I email constantly, and I can talk to them about just about anything. They’re objective outsiders, close friends, and they live far away, so they feel safe enough to tell me the truth.
I don’t mind my situation, I actually like it. My only problem is I used to be better friends with these two girls, basically separately. Then I sort of introduced them, and now they’re thick as thieves. Now they sort of leave me out of things, and it sort of hurts. Any ideas? Did that make sense?
Help! *has lots and lots of friendship problems*
*and a couple of good updates*
Friends…? As of the end of school
“Shy” People:
Kite, Little Miss Perfect. Became even MORE of a drama queen after breakup with Sand.
Magenta, ignores me.
Blue, who is kind of just there… I guess he’s OK.
Daisy, who’s actually been paying more attention to me than any of the others.
Meghan, who doesn’t seem to like me very much.
De’Vaughn, who has gone back to being kind of obnoxious.
Soleil, who is completely bonkers.
ACL-Ter (loooong story):
Ali, who is nice but didn’t stick up for me.
Christy, ditto.
Lauren, who’s really fun, etc., but OF COURSE is going to boarding school next year.
Terry, a little bitch. (More later.)
Various and sundry 8th graders (friends and not-friends):
Aoife, whom I can tell anything and she won’t judge me. Soooo different from her dad. SHE should be the counselor, not him! (Her dad hates me and is a big jerk.)
Slug, who thinks she owns the school because her mom is the high school principal’s secretary. And she pretty much does.
Alex, a tomboy who hangs out with -million and Oyster Cracker (boys) (*hates*). She’s pretty nice I guess, except for Them, but she’s going to FM next year.
Cheyenne, total bitch last year but pretty nice this year.
Christina, whom I talk to in band. Nice, but slightly ditzy.
Julia, who is just there. Dad also hates me.
Princess. See earlier posts.
Shalee, Miss Risqué, a/k/a has gotten drunk before, etc. Kind of scares me.
Chloe the same one whose mom just died.
Chihuahua, obnoxious as ever.
Emma and Sarah, girls who I didn’t really like before but who were really nice to me yesterday. (More later.)
Leah, who remindss me of Rainbowstar’s Dandelion.
Maria, who is also a singer and so I’m kind of jealous of her sometimes. Moving to VA.
And by the way, things are no longer awkward between me and H. Or M, also in the production.
Full account of yesterday’s situation to follow in a reply. Gotta eat lunch now.
Help?
Terry was playing Truth or Dare and Would You Rather with -Million and Oyster Cracker on the bus at our annual end-of-year picnic Friday. They made EVERY question something mean about me and made sure that I could hear it. Terry didn’t even seem to be uncomfortable with it. I’m also kind of mad at Christy and Ali because they didn’t say anything…
But I am no longer scared of -Million and Oyster Cracker. I saw them fighting with another girl, Elayna (6th grader), who I’m suddenly friends with, and I realized that you just can’t win with them.
So, today is the last time I’ll see Terry until September. And I really want to stand up to her and tell her that I’m really mad at her. But I’m scared. Because I realize that she doesn’t value my friendship at all, so it’s not like she’s going to call me later or anything. HELP!!!!
246.1) Sounds confusing. I’m not much help; I’ve got one foot in each grade, due to AP, which allows me to meet the kids before I skip into their grade. The only problem is that a) I hardly know most of them and b) I hate being the baby in any group. I’m still not exactly sure why, but I just can’t be the cute little kid. And I’m worried about not fitting in because I’m to young/being thought of a immature.
My advice with Terry would be to stand up to her and tell her. A friendship where you just put up with someone obnoxious to have a friend isn’t really a friendship. It feels good to let it out (in moderation), and you can hardly be accused of picking on her. You mentioned with you friends that some of them were nice but didn’t stand up for you. Most people are like that. If you tell Terry that the way she treats you isn’t okay, (I’m assuming from the “little bitch” that she isn’t exactly nice), then at least you’re setting you boundaries and showing that you can stand up for yourself.
And it feels good. People respect others more if they show that they can be …less than nice when it’s necessary. Has Terry done anything nice to you lately that outweighs something bad/mean/nasty she did to you? Is a friendship with her really worth it?I don’t know what it’s like for you, but when I resent someone it has to come out sometime. I held a long list of grudges with IceQueen for 5 months, blew up, had a little cold war that didn’t solve anything, went back with a sort of semi-friendship mainly out of practicality, though sometimes I feel like I just want to strangle her for something. I really need to enroll in kickboxing of some sort of sport where you get to beat up an innocent bag. The problem with my friends is that when I’m really pissed, I just can’t be around them. They either mouse up or ask me what my problem is/treat me like I have some sort of mental disorder (I don’t, for the record). That makes me even more angry, because I feel it when something’s wrong and then I don’t want to sit around and do nothing/mope.
That was mostly about me and very little about your problem, but I hope it helped a bit.
*has trouble imagining bookgirl_me as a “cute little kid”*
That’s pretty much what i was planning to do. I wrote an email that I’ll never send, but I’ll be talking to Terry at graduation, most definitely. I’ll probably either blow up or freeze up. Just great.
Here’s the email, by the way.
To: Terry
Subject: can we talk?
I wanted to talk to you about Friday. You probably know what I mean– Truth or Dare, Would You Rather? Max? Graham? Look, I was TRYING not to listen, so I don’t know if you actually, like, said something to them? You know, like, “Can we make this not all about Hannah, since she’s sitting right here, and what you’re saying is kind of rude?” So if you did say something, I’m sorry for what I’m about to say…
But I really don’t see how you could play that way, with me sitting RIGHT THERE, and not be even a LITTLE uncomfortable. Unless of course you don’t care about me. Unless, of course, you feel the same way about me that they do. I thought you were my friend, Terry, but the way you were talking, I might have to rethink that.
Don’t expect me to talk to you in September. Don’t expect to see me over the summer.
If you actually care enough to email me back, or call me… I’m going to Boston on Friday. So I won’t email/call you back until at least Monday.
—
Hannah —–‘@
Too mean?
sounds good to me………..
RoseQuartz, you mentioned in 246.1 that you’ve learned that “you just can’t win” with -Million and Oyster Cracker. Maybe Terry has learned that, too. Maybe Terry just doesn’t have the strength of character to stand up to someone she knows will take her down. It’s even possible she didn’t realize she was being hurtful. I don’t know that any of those things are true, only that such things do happen.
Before you write (or have that talk), it always helps to ask yourself what outcome you want. Do you want to let off steam? Do you want Terry to actually hear what you have to say? Are you hoping she’ll apologize? Read your letter again as if it were addressed to you. How does it make you feel? How do you honestly think you would react?
She probably didn’t realize. Which is why I decided not to talk to her.
I’m not going to see her or be in touch with her this summer. It’s nothing personal against her, it’s just that she’s busy with soccer and Christy and I’m busy with vacation, painting the house, hanging with Leah and Maura and anyone else I can convince to come over.
I’m not going to email, either, or call. Email can be forwarded, and her dad could listen in on her call, and I don’t want THAT happening. Her dad is horrible. He’d either flip at her or me.
Hopefully by September everyone involved will have grown up a little. I’ll probably end up hanging out with a different set of people next year anyway.
Oh dear. Yesterday was terrible, and it was partly my fault.
What happened:
Fairly recently, in a back page of my diary, I wrote Leopardstar=(certain male private part, really popular insult at my school) and a picture of a you-know-what. Gorsepaw saw it in French yesterday when she asked to look at the frogs on last week’s page, and she showed everyone, including Leopardstar. Which was really bad timing, because it was just when I gave Leopardstar a note (basically saying “Why are you so mean to me? You (outlines various crimes). Don’t blame me when I tell Mrs Joe.” So I had a fight with Leopardstar and friends, which Mr R eventually noticed. At least he later caught Leopardstar and Blackclaw taking photos.
Gorsepaw took the you-know-what page out of my diary and put it in the bin, but someone took it out and Leopardstar showed it to our PC leader at the school Tug-o-War final (which we lost) , with WindClan and RiverClan crowding around. Then Leopardstar shoved me away and told me to go away. I went to tell Firestar that we’d lose if she’d didn’t come outside with ThunderClan, so I don’t know what Mrs B said. Of course, I then managed to miss the tug-o-war. I don’t know if Mrs B wasn’t mad because:
a) she was, but had more important things on her mind
b) didn’t believe Leopardstar
c) thought Leopardstar’s behaviour was so unacceptable that she sided with me
or d) none or all of the above
e) she thought Leopardstar scared me off on the eve of the final and was mad about THAT.
Anyway, she didn’t mention it.
I had a terrible fight with Wind- and RiverClan at the end of lunch, with them threatening to tell Mrs Joe about the you-know-what and my mum about MB (Leopardstar’s threat, but Onewhisker said SHE had my mum’s phone number). WindClan accused me of always telling them on Mrs Joe, even though I only told about the water bottle incedent. Oh yeah, then I had history (with several ThunderClan girls) and I got a bad mark on a test (the one with the Aust. Identity question I ranted about ) I guess I should be glad I passed it.
Then in sixth period I wrote a note to Onewhisker saying “If you or anyone else tell Mrs Joe or my mum about the innapropriate material the offender will be eaten by an hpb.
(I actually drew an 
) Aside from the fact that the teacher saw me, Onewhisker said she was showing the note to Mrs Joe and refused to give it back. After class I chased her and Gorsepaw for it and they ran right up to Mrs Joe’s office. I followed them and Mrs Joe came out. My so-called friends gave her the note, told her about the you-know-what, and said I’d been getting in their personal space when they’d asked me not to.
To my utter astonishment, Mrs Joe said “In other words, what you’ve being doing to A____.” I said I did all that to make them give the note back, Mrs Joe said what they had done was coming home to roost, and told them to see her on Monday and clean the makeup off (they had buses to catch). Then I had to explain about the hpb and she gave me a lecture about “being true to yourself” and not drawing rude things in my diary and said she’d see me on Monday too. Oh yeah, and Mr D, who will be my teacher if/when I’m moved up in maths and the principal herself saw part of it all. The one good thing about it was I got to my locker and out of school fast enough so that my mum didn’t notice I was late.
I am now telling myself how stupid I am, hoping my parents don’t hear about this and Leopardstar doesn’t carry out her threat, and wondering what ThunderClan will think and if Mistyfoot will be sufficiently mad to badmouth me to C. I’m not that upset about RiverClan, but I thought Onewhisker was my friend! How could she possibly do that? *headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk*
*produces
‘s to eat Gorsepaw+Onewhisker*
*eat*
Can we have a new thread?
Well, sure.