Just Friends, v. 2009
A thread for discussing non-romantic relationships.
Continued from Just Friends, v. 2008.1.
Date: June 15, 2009
Categories: Life
Comments RSS TrackBack 180 comments
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fireandhemlock1996
in June 15th, 2009 @ 10:17first post? my friend O won’t stop teasing me about C, and I don’t know how to get her to stop……….
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Kiga__827
in June 15th, 2009 @ 10:48H’m… I think I relate to people much better online. I don’t really have any friends.
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RoseQuartz
in June 15th, 2009 @ 10:57Same here. Although my Kokon did make things seem a bit less virtual.
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Armada
in June 15th, 2009 @ 16:12Same here. The kokon was kind of…weird. I mean, we all knew each other, and yet we….didn’t. It was a bit awkward at first, though we got more comfortable eventually.
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RoseQuartz
in June 15th, 2009 @ 16:19Yeah. It was SO awkward at first. I think it was electros who broke the ice– “Parents talk too much!”
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SudoRandom
in June 17th, 2009 @ 21:55He found something we all agreed on…
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RoseQuartz
in June 18th, 2009 @ 09:37Yup.
And then there were the stupid exhibits. After that classification one, we were acting almost like normal human beings…
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Enceladus and Nimly (*.*) (10 wung points)
in June 19th, 2009 @ 18:18*GAHSP*
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SudoRandom
in July 1st, 2009 @ 12:27I know! I almost would have thought I was with the wrong group, if we weren’t all so geeky!
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fireandhemlock1996
in June 15th, 2009 @ 10:54Yeah, I know how you feel. I’ve got a lot of friends in RL, but only about five of them do I trust half as much as most of my VR friends.
RL=real life VR= virtual reality, my name for the internet.
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soccer starr
in June 15th, 2009 @ 15:20I have a lot of real life friends which I’m really talkative and outgoing around but I’m really shy when I’m with people I don’t know. I’m trying reeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaalllllly hard though to open up a little more but I’m not very good at that!
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fireandhemlock1996
in June 15th, 2009 @ 15:23Hehe… I used to be extremely shy, but when I tell people I know now, they go “WHAT!?” because now I’m so outgoing and I like making new friends, etc.
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RoseQuartz
in June 16th, 2009 @ 10:12I’m kind of the opposite. I used to be totally outgoing, but now a lot of the time I’m painfully shy…
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soccer starr
in June 16th, 2009 @ 15:01See, I used to be shy around everyone-even my friends! Well, not shy, just quiet and reserved. But then i met this amazing girl that’s so outgoing and really helped me come out of my shell. She’s funny, cheerful, and doesn’t care what people think of her-she’ll go and do something really crazy in front of the entire school and won’t think anything of it. Unfortunately, sometimes she can get really pressuring and in your face but she’s learned to give others some more space who aren’t as outgoing as she is. Anyway, ever since I met her I’ve become a lot more humorous-something I never knew I had! But I still do have a shy streak. But like I said before, I’m working on that.
1-Sounds like you’re friends are acting really immature, which is too bad. For right now, just try to ignore them. If you don’t make a big deal about it and act casual, they’ll get the hint and stop. Or, if you think they’ll take you seriously, just politely ask them to stop. But the best thing would just be to ignore them and change the subject when they start teasing you. Or a simple reply like “OK that’s great that you think that…” works sometimes. Hope that helps some!
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fireandhemlock1996
in June 16th, 2009 @ 15:50Well, O is a year younger than me, she’s eleven, soo yeah. My bff is a boy about two weeks younger than I am, I’ve known him since I was 3 or 4 yrs old. I only see him about once a year, but we email. We moved to TN three yrs ago from SC, and still these two families are our greatest friends.
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soccer starr
in June 17th, 2009 @ 16:42I’m not positive, but since O is a year younger than you might explain the teasing. Obviously you’ll know about this better than me, but she might just look up to you and therefore teases you because she admires you-I used to have a friend like that. She was two years younger than me, and always teased me about everything, but especially my boyfriend (well, my former one, we’ve since broken up). At first I was really annoyed, but then I realized that she really just wanted to be like me (she later admitted to me that she really wanted a boyfriend herself!!) and teasing was her way of flattering me! That could be the case, especially if O secretly wishes that she had the attention of a boy, and now that she thinks you do, she could just be jealous. After all-the step between 11 and 12 is kind of a big one. 11 year olds are at that stage where they get all giggly when it comes to boys, but I think that 12 year olds are still kind of giggly and immature, but less so. At least, that’s what I’ve concluded from my personal experience-it’s probably different at your school, though.
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fireandhemlock1996
in June 17th, 2009 @ 20:47Oh- I’m homeschooled, and she’s in M’s violin group. (the TC’s SPs, as I call ’em.) She goes to the same school as another one of my friends with whom I carpool to ballet, too.
Looks up to me? *snorts* She’s not that type. She, O, and M are TC’s best students/players. And she knows it, too.
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soccer starr
in June 18th, 2009 @ 14:31That’s what I meant about you knowing better than I do-some people are the type, some people aren’t. But maybe she’s still a little jealous? Maybe that’ll make you feel a little better…
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SilverLeopard
in June 15th, 2009 @ 18:05I have a lot of awesome friends, and a bunch that are extra special. Then there’s one of my friends who I can tell everything to, (and rant about my unhappy life (my brother…)) and she’ll give me a hug and help me with it and I suddenly can’t feel angry anymore.
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soccer starr
in June 17th, 2009 @ 17:11I love those types of friends!! I’m glad you’ve made one of them.
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rabbity24
in June 16th, 2009 @ 13:42It seems that each year I have the same group of general friends but different ones get closer and then drift away again. It’s kind of a depressing cycle for me cuz it’s painfully awkward trying to talk to them again the next year…:(
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Thanks For All The Fish42
in June 16th, 2009 @ 18:49I found a nice little group of friends this year and thought that it would make life easier. Not so true. Lots o’ drama, and one girl is starting to be quite nasty to me… I’m trying to keep everyone together, because I never liked when I would just drift around to find different types of friends. I could never hang out with all of them. I had to pick and choose… I like this group (it includes Daisy*Chain), so I would like to keep it…
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Beavo
in June 16th, 2009 @ 20:49I had no friends until the middle of last year when I got into my little clique or whatever, and then we all had issues and kind of broke up and half sit at one lunch table and the other half sit across the cafateria. Then we started dating into each other and became friends again, and then broke up, lather, rinse and repeat.
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rabbity24
in June 17th, 2009 @ 06:308 & 9) Yeah that totally happened with my ‘clique’ or whatever. I was good friends with almost everybody except this one ANNOYING as all get out girl who everybody sided with (because of her seemingly amusing gross and tasteless humour) except, maybe three of my other friends, and we broke off and sat somewhere else and by the end of the year almost everybody from our last group had followed us over there except the annoying person, and now she was back with us by the last week of school and I hope it doesn’t do that again next year!
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soccer starr
in June 17th, 2009 @ 17:199- I find that’s the case for most middle school cliques. (You’re in middle school, right? Or you were last year maybe?) They tend to separate and then drift back together again as the friendships shift around and fights break out. Or at least, that’s what happened with a lot of the cliques I use to be a part of.
Last year, I finally found a clique that I “fit” in with. The good thing is that (most) of the girls are all really nice and friendly to each other, unlike most of the cliques in my grade in which about over half of the kids in each clique are mean and backstabbing to each other all the time. My clique basically consists of kids who aren’t considered “nerds” or really unpopular, but they don’t consist of really popular kids, either. We’re kind of just the average bunch, right in the middle of the pack. The other good thing is that although (of course) we’re always changing and moving around, it’s not hard for most newcomers to enter our clique. So most of the time the clique is good-of course, their obviously have been fights and issues, (which clique doesn’t??!!) but generally we’re a pretty good bunch.
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draconis
in June 17th, 2009 @ 18:49my best friend is the bookworm
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RoseQuartz
in June 17th, 2009 @ 19:27How come you didn’t come to the Kokon, then, if you also live in/near [self-snip]?
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bluefire27
in June 17th, 2009 @ 19:04I am the total non-clique-er. Seriously. It’s basically me, my very best friend Luke, and his girlfriend. I’m in 6th grade, and they are both in 9th, but I love them both, and they love me, and everything is awesome. W00t!!
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bluefire27
in June 17th, 2009 @ 19:05Oh, I forgot to tell you, I’m quite unpopular with people above 6th grade, and Luke isn’t very popular with people under 9th grade, but thats ok.
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rabbity24
in June 18th, 2009 @ 06:37are you guys in the same school? Or do you just see each other outside of school. 6th to 9th grade seems like quite a jump in age… Not that that’s a problem, it’s just awkward during the school day, I would’ve thought
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bluefire27
in June 18th, 2009 @ 17:47Oh, we’re in the same school. It’s an extremely tiny private school that does Pre-K to 9th (soon to be 10th) grade. And there are eight sixth graders and two fifth graders, and we’re all in the same room. Yeah, I know, it’s TINY.
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bluefire27 and Mr. Green
in June 20th, 2009 @ 16:44Oh, SFTDP, but we see eachother at recess. Yes. RECESS. I can’t believe it either.
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SudoRandom
in June 17th, 2009 @ 22:05Sigh.
I have lots of friends, but none that are like the ones described in 6. None of my friends are really enough like me that I get really close. Also, most of the people I hang out with are girls, which I’m fine with, but I’d like to be a closer friend with some boys, too, but they’re always playing soccer. I wish I had a friend I could really talk to about what I’m thinking about, boy or girl, but…
I always have you guys.
But that’s it.
Sigh.
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rabbity24
in June 18th, 2009 @ 06:40I think it’s SOO helpful to have somebody to just talk to about everything. I don’t usually have that, because a lot of the time I live on practically a different planet than everybody else that I’m friends with, but band kids, of which I am one, seem to be the wackiest and closest to my personality that I’ve met. I actually kinda found somebody who I can talk to about stuff with and be silly with at the same time, so it’s useful. Now her boyfriend, who’s a real jerk, is kinda getting in the way and I really hope nothing bad happens between her and me….
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bluefire27 and Mr. Green
in June 20th, 2009 @ 16:40Ya know, my friend Luke is a lot like your friend; however, his girlfriend is a lot like him, so there is no trouble between us. nd yes, that is (mostly) true about band kids. Actually, Luke and my other friend Wesley, who is my age, are in a band with me!! We are writing our fourth song!! It’s a lot of fun.
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RoseQuartz
in June 18th, 2009 @ 09:35Yeah, and the COCP…
Including me, the Sith lordhmm, how do you feminize that?… Hehe.
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SudoRandom
in June 18th, 2009 @ 14:50LordetteThe Sith have no gender.
I think the reason is that most of my friends that are close to my personality are too goofy to take anything I say seriously, so…
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RoseQuartz
in June 18th, 2009 @ 14:57And you’re not goofy?Just kidding, I have the same problem.
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SudoRandom
in June 18th, 2009 @ 16:45That was my point.
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bookgirl_me
in July 1st, 2009 @ 07:54*coughcoughLadycoughcough*
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RoseQuartz
in July 1st, 2009 @ 09:36Doesn’t sound right.
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bookgirl_me
in July 1st, 2009 @ 11:30It does for me- same ring. I wonder what a sith lady would be like…
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SilverLeopard
in June 18th, 2009 @ 16:30I’m just lucky. Many kids in my town are really nice, and I kept my friends throughout elementary school. I made friends with a lot of kids in middle school, too.
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cromwell
in June 18th, 2009 @ 11:23I have plenty of friends, and two of them have posted on MuseBlog.
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soccer starr
in June 18th, 2009 @ 14:3415-Really? That’s pretty cool. I got one of my friends to post on here, but she only posted like twice because she’s really busy and doesn’t spend much time online.
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cromwell
in June 18th, 2009 @ 14:47One has one post, another 4. Not too good.
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soccer starr
in June 18th, 2009 @ 15:39Eh, well, we’ve got to start somewhere, right?
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fireandhemlock1996
in June 18th, 2009 @ 15:21Ok, so my mom wants to someday invite both C and my friend Ty to our house, and I think it’ll be hysterical. Both are half-Asian boys that are a bit shy, but then the differences start.
Ty- “bang! *finger-person falls off the edge of the table*
C- “I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not sure”C likes puns and riddles, Ty (who gets Muse, btw) likes shoot-em-up kind of games. *collapses in a giggling heap*
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fireandhemlock1996
in June 18th, 2009 @ 17:59SFTDP, but my friend Holly is really mad at me, and I’m not quite sure why. (Ok, I’ll admit I’m pretty mad at her, too. I totally deleted my account on her site.) She started it by titling me “Grammar Admin”, then telling me “You’re such a snob. It’s not like you’re in charge of the grammar or anything.” And I’m like, “I don’t have access to making titles like that, and we both know it. Go ahead, try to deny that it was you did it!” and then she just blew her top. I don’t know what to do!
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Soccer starr
in June 19th, 2009 @ 16:00I’m so sorry. I wish I had some better advice for you, but I don’t. I just hope that your fight ends soon.
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fireandhemlock1996
in June 19th, 2009 @ 17:49Hehe. I wish. THing is, we’re both extremely stubborn and impatient and irritable. NoT GooD.
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Insane MLDM+Ferelda(^&^) (120 coolpointz)(1 b-day point)(200 twisted evilpoints)
in June 19th, 2009 @ 05:04Fought with Onewhisker. Onewhisker apologized. I considered accepting apology and finally emailed her to that effect. Onewhisker went home with swine flu (or something) and has been. I’ve become closer to Brambleclaw, Ms Vader (hot guy-obsessed), MathsRebel (Ms Vader’s best friend), and Tallstar(Wind- and ThunderClan friend). ShadowClan+Leopardstar it’s business as usual. Gorsepaw acts all right. I’ve pretty much drifted away from RiverClan in general.
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Soccer starr
in June 19th, 2009 @ 19:0219-Sorry if I sound ignorant, but do you call all your friends on the blog the names of Warrior’s characters?!?!?!?
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RoseQuartz
in June 19th, 2009 @ 19:04They’re her friends off the blog. She uses those codenames…. to protect their identities, I suppose, but also because I believe Warriors characters draw parallels with her friends.
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Soccer starr
in June 19th, 2009 @ 19:22.20.1-That’s a very…creative use of the Warrior books. Hmm…I wonder if I could match up the personalities…
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Soccer starr
in June 19th, 2009 @ 19:22((SFTDP))
I mean, match up the personalities in the book with my friends.
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leloochlover101
in June 20th, 2009 @ 11:25Wow, I seriously think that idea is smart! Anyway, im in middle school, and im this one girls bffl, im also friends with her friend(Megan), but for some reason Megan turns on and off on me.
Ok other issue. sometimes i get into really wacky stuff( right now im all over code Geass lelooch of the rebellion), and they are like” WHEN DID YOU START LIKING JAPANESE ANIMIA”. I love lelooch(not that way)and i cried when he “died”, but he really didnt!
In case you want to watch it type this on youtube.
Code geass episode1 english dubbed
watch the one by Bandai entertainment.
Im sorry my spelling is bad my computer is messed up, and i know the anima is off topic, but if you love it and watch it, please respond to this blog.
P>S> LELOOCH NEVER DIED HE NEVER DIED, THE END PROVES IT.
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SudoRandom
in June 26th, 2009 @ 21:14Umm… dead. Dead thread. Very dead. Post on this thread, people! I might have a story coming! But post! I is liking this thread veryvery much!
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soccer starr
in June 27th, 2009 @ 20:2324-You’re right, this thread kind of has become dead…(Yay! That rhymed! Sorry that was weird…oh well.) Anyway, my friend and I have been having some friction lately because of this boy. I’ve posted about it on the Romance and Relationships thread, if you want to know details. I think, however, that it would be better to bring it here:
a) It’s more related to the “Just Friends” category than “Romance and Relationships”
b) We need to get a conversation going here people! POST! POST! POST!
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vanillabean3.141
in June 28th, 2009 @ 13:08OK, I’ve got one. If you had a friend with low self-esteem and always makes demeaning comments about ensself, what would you do? I’ve told this friend that en is smart and nice-looking and a great person, but en doesn’t seem to listen.
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rabbity24
in June 28th, 2009 @ 13:34hmm…. I had a friend who kind of did that. That person really wanted the attention so she just tried to make other people feel bad for her. I don’t know if that’s the case. Maybe somebody else’s opinion who’s not necessarily a really close friend could convince en that they are a special person.
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RoseQuartz
in June 28th, 2009 @ 13:50I have a friend like that. Actually, I think she might be anorexic. I know her sister is. It’s really hard to deal with her; I just tell her she’s a great person all the time when she gets down on herself, and there’s nothing else I can really do.
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vanillabean3.141 (Minka)
in June 29th, 2009 @ 22:23Thanks guys. Some of our other friends have noticed, so we’ll keep supporting en until en comes out of it.
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☼Zinc the sorceress☼
in June 29th, 2009 @ 10:35Hey, remember how I said that if Olivia passed a test she could come back here during the summer?
Well, she passed!
*party*
Although, now if Leafy reads the email, she’ll meet up with Liv too and it’ll be awkward…
Curse you, middle school, for tearing my life into pieces! *shakes fist in the air*
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SudoRandom
in July 1st, 2009 @ 12:25Umm… Who exactly is Leafy? I thought she was a Wung, or something of the likes. Is she a real person?
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☼Zinc the sorceress☼
in July 1st, 2009 @ 13:11No, not a wung. Real person, yeah. Old best friend. Separation was quite painful. (T.T)
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Insane MLDM+Ferelda(^&^) (120 coolpointz)(1 b-day point)(200 twisted evilpoints)
in July 1st, 2009 @ 04:15This thread is so dead.
Okay. At my school, you don’t go to the principal when you’re in trouble. You go to ‘Mrs Hardhat’. Which was where I went with Onewhisker last week over something really stupid we were equally to blame for, but I ended up getting most of the blame for it. (And I thought ‘Mrs Joe’ could lecture) So yesterday, Onewhisker ran off with a book of mine and gave it to Gorsepaw, who made off with it. It was sort of funny at first, but then various WindClan (AND that snip Tigerstar) members stood in my way and it got physical, and when I was trying to prize it out of Gorsepaw’s arms ‘Ms Pretzel’ came along and literally dragged me off to Mrs Hardhat. Who gave both me and Gorsepaw a Big Fat Lecture, made us apologize to each other, and wrote a note to our class teacher wanting to see Onewhisker. As Mrs Joe didn’t walk in, the worst of it should be that some other girl supposedly took my book and its disappeared. No. Onewhisker is somehow in such big trouble because of all this that if anything else happens she could be expelled.
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Insane MLDM+Ferelda(^&^) (120 coolpointz)(1 b-day point)(200 twisted evilpoints)
in July 1st, 2009 @ 05:06I’m back… So I can’t let that happen. We’re not exactly friends any more, but if she gets in trouble and Tigerstar, Leopardstar, the badgers, and the rest of ShadowClan walk out of jail free… *shudder*
Snip.
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soccer starr
in July 2nd, 2009 @ 18:4928-Ugh…that sounds…bad. Sorry, that wasn’t any help at all. And I agree, this thread IS dead.
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SudoRandom
in July 21st, 2009 @ 20:07My friend Eureka is cool. She is my friend. (Trying to save this thread!)
She always makes me laugh. We are good friends. We are in OAC together. She’s really good at Commedia Dell’arte. She usually plays Il Dotore, and I play Arlecchino, and then she tells me I’m dead. Or I have a terrible disease of the armpit. In my pocket.
I love my friends.
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Enceladus (The Returned)
in July 22nd, 2009 @ 06:27*dehypnotizes SudoRandom* Yes, you’re good friends, but you don’t have to be so disturbingly happy about it.
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SudoRandom
in July 22nd, 2009 @ 08:03*is disturbingly happy*
She always has stuff in her pocket. Like, lots of stuff. And she bought a hat, and named it Charlie Haat. Which I thought was strange. (Listen, Enceladus, I’m just trying to save this thread!)
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Soccer starr
in August 5th, 2009 @ 10:19Even though I know that this is pretty much dead, dead, dead, I’m going to try to revive it now. Has anyone ever had a frienemy who was trying desperately to be your friend but you don’t want them to be because they are SOOO obnoxious, annoying, mean, and rude? It’s happening to me right now and I need some serious help!!!!
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Kagcomix
in August 5th, 2009 @ 11:05Um… I am not the best person to give advice… because when something like this happens I ignore them until things get really awkward and they leave. Yes I am a horrible person. So that is what not to do. What you could do is be tolerating and distantly nice, and not really try to be close to them or anything.
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☼Zinc the sorceress☼
in August 5th, 2009 @ 13:06Yep, but I can’t get rid of her too.
Olivia might be coming back for a visit sometime!
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SilverLeopard
in August 6th, 2009 @ 16:20Garrrr… I have a friend I’m going to camp with except she’s always playing cards with another girl. And she’s probably still not-so-happy with me because I told another kid when her best friend (who was there last week (and is kind of my friend too)) stole some of their gum. So now I spend half my time by myself, and half the time with various friends, usually kids younger than me.
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fireandhemlock1996
in August 9th, 2009 @ 06:35I’m depressed at the moment. I haven’t seen any of my friends for weeks. And my best friend not for months. Last night I dreamed that NFM (my bf) came over to my house and helped to install the ceiling fans under the deck, and then I showed him the woods and the meadows and the pond that’s behind my house. Yes, odd dream. NFM is obsessed with ceiling fans, I mean seriously collects them. He has, ulp, maybe somewhere between 18-20 fans in his collection? He collects vintage fans mostly, and last spring when I brought him an old light fixture that was in my garage, he totally flipped. You see, it was a perfect match for a ceiling fan that *gasp* he had purchased earlier that week! Um. Right. Anyhow. He might be coming on here, I think. Sorry for rambling……
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soccer starr
in August 19th, 2009 @ 14:17Sorry, I know this is a little late to be posting this when you posted your comment on the ninth, but I’m so, so sorry! I haven’t seen many of my friends either due to vacations. *hands over chocolate*
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Anonymous For Now
in September 19th, 2009 @ 23:28My problem:
Once upon a time, I didn’t have any friends. At all. Then, I made friends with a girl at a different school, S (not real initials), and hung out with her and a couple of other girls we knew. Then I did actually make a lot more friends, including a group who are mostly nice people, B, who I really like but her other friends hate me, and another group who are a mixed bunch ranging from the nice to the not-so-nice to O, who can’t stand me (and includes H, who has been friends with S for years) . There was a lot of friendship drama, but I ‘m still friends with most of them. My problem is that I never see any of them outside school, and for some reason am too shy to invite one of them to my house or anything like that. It isn’t so bad with my school friends, but now I never see S even though we live fairly near each other and I’m not sure how to stop us drifting apart and I hate myself for bring so shy and AHHHHHHH!
Advice, anyone?
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Anonymous For Now
in September 19th, 2009 @ 23:30SFTDP, but come back to this thread, people! Please!
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Maths Lover ♥ (formerly Insane MLDM)
in September 22nd, 2009 @ 00:07REVIVE REVIVE REVIVE
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39
soccer starr
in September 22nd, 2009 @ 16:27I have a friendship problem right now, and could seriously use some help. (I also want to revive this thread!!)
All of my friends are drifting off. Tis sad, because many of them are my closest friends…
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39.1
Fio (aka La Mort)
in September 22nd, 2009 @ 16:48That happened to me freshman and sophomore years. I had a lot of friends in eighth grade, but now, since they aren’t in my classes, I only have 3 close friends. I don’t know what to tell you, actually, especially since one of the people that I drifted away from was the girl who had been my best friend since 4th grade. We still get along really well, but we only see each other once every couple of weeks, and that’s when we somehow manage to be going to our lockers at the same time. I guess the only thing I can really say is: try to keep in touch with your old friends, but realize that everybody is taking their life in a different direction. You will lose some old friends, but you will make some new ones along the way.
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39.1.1
soccer starr
in September 22nd, 2009 @ 17:30Thanks for the advice! I really appreciate it, especially from an oldie like you with tons of experience.
Just kidding. Anyway, you can see more detail if you want on my post on the Random Page. (The link is below.) It’s post # 161https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=4136#comment-325566
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39.2
Enceladus
in September 22nd, 2009 @ 17:42I have the opposite problem. I feel like I’m drifting away from my friends. I can tell that they have the same interests as before, but know, they seen sorta… immature. And one of them has been my best friend since kindergarten.
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40
mas0n
in September 22nd, 2009 @ 17:582.1 What is the Kokon?
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41
Axa
in September 22nd, 2009 @ 18:2936 — hmm well if the main problem is inviting people over, you could also go for outside activities like seeing a movie or something like that. If you have trouble asking you could even email them about it, since that is easier than calling someone up and you can always follow up with “did you get the email I sent you” and if they say now then that’s a great opportunity!
I hope things work out!
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42
speller73
in September 22nd, 2009 @ 19:16(For this to make sense, you should know that I go to boarding school.)
Sigh… I met two of my best friends at orientation, and they decided to be roommates, which was pretty cool, because I could hang out with them at the same. One of them is slightly less mature than the other, and the more mature one developed an interest in a boy. The less mature one, being clueless and slightly jealous, sort of got in the way. Fortunately, everything worked, the boy asked my friend to homecoming, and they’re now basically a couple.
The problem is that after all this drama, especially since my less mature friend remains slightly jealous, my two friends are in a big fight, and almost everyone is siding with my more mature friend, and thus isolating my less mature friend. Although, I also tend to agree with my more mature friend, I want to stay friends with my less mature friend. Also, for now at least, my less mature friend is my only friend who is going to homecoming and isn’t going with a date. Although I don’t mind hanging out with her, I feel that, if someone were to ask me to dance or something (which is unlikely, but still), she would get in the way. Some of the seniors in my friends’ wing (which is across from my wing), who currently don’t like my less mature friend very much, have offered to hang out with me, but they’re seniors, and I don’t know them that well.
To make matters worse, my less mature friend is probably going to go back to her old school, because she never really liked this school. (She had decided to leave before the fight.) My friends have more or less determined that they won’t get over this fight until after my less mature friend leaves. And I told my more mature friend (near the beginning of fight when I thought it would blow over quickly) that I would be happy to be her roommate next year if my less mature friend leaves.
So basically, I’m stuck between friends. Help!
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42.1
Enceladus
in September 23rd, 2009 @ 05:57Tell both of them you’re staying out of the argument, and you don’t want to harm your friendships.
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43
Kagcomix
in September 23rd, 2009 @ 16:43Speller, I agree with Enceladus. You could also hang out with those seniors. If they said you could hang out with them it could be an opertunity to get to know them better?
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44
Daisy*chain
in September 28th, 2009 @ 21:53Help!
My friend found out that her mother has breast cancer. It’s really terrible, and she’s worried. I feel really bad, but I don’t know how to help her. I’m not very good at making people feel better… Ideas on how to support my friend?
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45
bella the aviatrix
in September 29th, 2009 @ 06:06Oh no! I’m so sorry! *hugs*
Sorry, but I’m not very good at comforting people either…
But I know that breast cancer rates have been dropping since 1990 – and now something like 85% of people survive breast cancer.
I don’t know it this will help or not.
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46
bookgirl_me
in September 29th, 2009 @ 10:5244-That’s horrible! My suggestion is… just try to show her that you’ll be there for her whenever she feels bad/need help. I’m not sure she wants to be cheered up right away, but distraction would probably help her (=not that you forcefully drag her out of the door, but try to get out and maybe do things (ride around on bikes/rollesblades/…, go shopping, see a movie)).
42- I agree with both of the above. Set your boundaries; you don’t want to harm the friendships; so won’t allow your more mature friend to tease/otherwise put down your less mature friend but you won’t tolerate your less mature friend getting in the way with your (potential) relationships (this should probably be put in a more tactful way). And if you get stuck in the middle badly with both sides aruguing and asking you to take a side/ignore you, go hang out with the seniors until they work it out.
36- I just invited some friends over. T’was the first time I’d invited anyone but P. over in 5 years (okay, I was abroad half the time, but still). It seems scary but it’s very unlikely that they’ll take a chainsaw to you desk and burn your books…
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46.1
Maths Lover ♥
in December 15th, 2009 @ 00:44 REVIVE REVIVE REVIVE It feels like that’s alll I’m doing on my favourite threads now, but 2.5 months since the last post?You just gave me this image of ilovehpb armed with a chainsaw…
I suppose it’s the hpb part of her name.
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47
Princess_Magnolia
in January 14th, 2010 @ 19:43A little late for reviving, but still…I just found this thread.
Anyway, I have some friends who are, like, not popular. And then I have some friends who are. And, since I’m a Muser and therefore Not Popular, I sit with the unpopular friends. ( Partly because I realized I never talked at the popular table ). But now I feel like my popular ( that should have quotation marks around it ) friends are walking farther, and farther away…but it’s just me, I think. So whatever. I’m happy where I am.
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47.1
Maths Lover ♥
in January 18th, 2010 @ 00:53That’s what happened to me, pretty much (ilh is popular, though). Then I got in a couple of major fights with some of my friends and things went insane, so if you read my old posts on this threaed none of them make sense.
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47.1.1
Enceladus
in January 18th, 2010 @ 07:43It’s kind of happening to me. I’m drifting a little away from one of my semi-popular friends, one of which is an god-like guitar player. Sigh…
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47.2
bookgirl_me
in January 30th, 2010 @ 05:23That’s good. That’s you’re happy where you are, that is. Popularity… yeah, what should I say, my brief bout (about a semester) with the cool girls ended in 1 1/2 years of bitchy comments, dissing, and so on. I lost (obviously), but being my charming self I was very far from innocent as well. It’s best to have friends where you can be yourself and say what you mean.
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47.2.1
Princess_Magnolia
in January 30th, 2010 @ 10:52Ugh, I can’t stand some of the REALLY popular girls, though *cough* ROSALIE *cough* luckily she’s not in any of my classes. But anyway, how did some of these people even get to be popular?? I don’t understand!! *wail*
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47.2.1.1
bookgirl_me
in January 30th, 2010 @ 12:14So far, I have three types of popular down:
1) The “charismatic”, a “cute girl” or a cheerleading squad captain or whatever, the “perfect” type.
2) The “mean girl”. Everyone is so afraid that type no1 gets her to tag along (smashing all oposition).
3) The “right hand girls”- to loyal backups of no1 who always agree to whatever she says.
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47.2.1.1.1
Princess_Magnolia
in January 30th, 2010 @ 15:20Probably 2.
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47.2.1.1.2
Maths Lover ♥
in January 30th, 2010 @ 19:58At my school, it’s
1) The Mean Girls that are the root of all (or most) problems
2) The “dumb blonde” types who are still mean but are too busy obsessing over their appearance or the opposite sex or being the leader of the populars to be as mean as the Mean Girls (*coughcoughmyschool’sKylaBulPopularcoughcough*)
3) The Minions
4) The nicer ones who actually have brains aneen known to have popular friends
5) Their friends who are still fairly popular but aren’t as mean or as obsessed with their appearance.47.2.1- Yes, how? When does it all begin? How can they do it? And what about the boy populars?
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47.2.1.1.2.1
Maths Lover ♥
in January 30th, 2010 @ 20:00*and have been
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Princess_Magnolia
in January 30th, 2010 @ 20:25Ahem, Shawn BulPopular ( Kyla’s big brother whom she hero worships [ in a non-good way ] ) is a “boy popular.” Pseudo calls all of his boy popular ( BP ) friends SBATM, or Shawn BulPopular and the Minions. Ha.
But Kyla is sort of a Type 1 ( T1 ) slash T2 … she’s obsessed with her appearance in a sort of degrading way, poor girl. But she’s also very mean.
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48
starr
in January 30th, 2010 @ 11:4947 – That’s sort of what’s happening to me. I mean, my whole friendship world is going absolutely insane right now, but that is happening to me. I just don’t know if I’m ok with it or not.
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49
agrrrfishi
in February 9th, 2010 @ 08:57Thoughts of a Teenage Student
How do you stage an intervention
with a friend who has become
really bossy and a
brat?
I mean, I love her to death, but
lately she’s just been
overly
controlling, rude, and can’t
take no for an answer.
And I’m not the only one who
thinks so.
But,
I can’t stop being friends with her.
She’s my link to A, and I really like him.
I don’t want to ruin his friendship
with her by telling him how she really
acts.
I might never be able to
talk to him again because
the two of them are good friends
and I’ve only known him
for two months.
Two really great months.I want to help her.
But she’s the type of girl
who wouldn’t change if you told her
how she really acted and
how infuriating she can be when
she tries to make everything her way.
I know it’s human nature to be a bit bossy,
but I want her to change
not because of spite
But because
i care for her
I want her to have friends
I don’t want her to
screw up the rest of her
life.
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Maths Lover ♥
in February 20th, 2010 @ 02:3049- Sorry, I have no advice.
So, my current friend situation.
: I am no longer friends with her. I guess some part of me saw it coming, because I’m not that upset.
G: Well, we haven’t really become much closer, but we have a bit.
E(G’s best friend): I feel closer to her.
There are some other people I used to be close to, but drifted apart from, and I don’t know what’s going to happen there.
So the new girls in my French class, L and W, sit with me, G, and E. L is in my homeroom and we have no other classes together. I would really like to get to know her, but she doesn’t sit with us at lunch, she sits with some other girls I don’t know at all. G invited W to sit with us, and we don’t have other classes together. They’re probably both acting shyer than they really are right now, so I don’t know if I really like W or not. But it’s great that the class we do have together is French.This is a question for those MuseBloggers who used to be homeschooled but now go to school: Are any of your friends homeschooled? When the principal talked to us after I was enrolled at my school, she said something about how they’d had homeschoolers before(so my teachers(except
, who hates me) didn’t treat me like a freak or anything), but the only other formerly homeschooled person I know offline is G, but she used to belong to a homeschooling group.
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bookgirl_me
in February 20th, 2010 @ 11:0950-All my cruising friends were homeschooled, but none of my austrian friends are (it’s fairly uncommon here).
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Cat's Meow
in March 23rd, 2010 @ 18:01Hiya, MuseBloggers – I need a bit of advice, and I was hoping that some of you could help me out. The basic story is that I got put in a second-semester P.E. class this year with very few of my friends, which I guess kind of gave me an opportunity to meet some other people. I’ve become pretty good friends with one girl in particular (she usually ends up being my partner for doubles games and such, and we hang out together most of the time), but she’s only in that class of mine. Anyways, I’ll cut right to the chase and say that I saw her smoking cigarettes with a few friends today after school.
She’s not the stereotypical smoker at all, but I guess I’d kind of suspected that something of the sort was going on with her, for various reasons. Personally, I am very morally opposed to smoking and other stuff like that, and I don’t know what I can/should do about this now. I like her and consider her a friend, but the whole idea of smoking/smokers just grosses me out. I kind of want to talk to her and let her know what I saw, but I don’t want to sound preachy or overbearing, and I’m pretty sure that it would come across that way. Is it appropriate for me to do anything, or should I just stay quiet and pretend that I didn’t see? Advice, please!
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52.1
Cskia
in March 23rd, 2010 @ 19:09I wouldn’t have the courage to tell her what I saw, but if you don’t ask her about it, it may harm your friendship in the long run. You’re already unsure of what to think, and keeping quiet probably won’t help you forget about the incident. I think it’s best if you talk to her. You could tell her that you care about her, and that smoking is…well…just bad for her in the long run. If she really thinks of you as a good friend, then she’d thank you and might just listen to you.
I don’t think I’m a very helpful person, but…
*huggles and gives choklit too*
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Cat's Meow
in March 23rd, 2010 @ 19:24So, I guess I should specify that I really don’t know her THAT well. I literally see her for a period a day, 4 days a week , and we haven’t really talked about serious stuff at all. She also has a quick temper and holds grudges, which has me a little cautious about saying anything.
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52.1.1.1
speller73
in March 23rd, 2010 @ 19:32On the one hand, smoking is terrible, and she should stop for the sake of her health and everyone’s health, etc, etc, etc. On the other hand, if she doesn’t know you that well, telling her to stop probably isn’t going do anything other than make her massively annoyed with you… So I probably wouldn’t do anything… But on the other hand, I’m a coward.
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Cskia
in March 23rd, 2010 @ 19:32I see… in your description, I saw her as a rather shy girl who was very nice… in that case, then do you really want to be friends with her at all? You don’t know her well, and she does something you are against. Other than PE, do you really have any connection with her? So… do you really want to keep being friends with her? What do you think of her now?
And her holding grudges. If you talk to her about ti, she might want revenge. But it’s rather necessary that you do tell her how you feel… or else she may never know…
Sorry for being so… ah…straight forward. And rather rude about your friend, too. But that’s the way life goes…
CTN would’ve never been able to post something like this.
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52.1.1.2.1
Cat's Meow
in March 23rd, 2010 @ 19:46To be totally honest, we probably won’t continue to be very good friends after the P.E. class is over.
From what we have talked about, I’ve gathered that my life is probably more idyllic than hers. I just worry about coming across as “Oh no, good girl wants to be my friend as long as I act perfect, but as soon as there’s one flaw she flips out on me”.
Right now I’m thinking that I’ll talk to one of our mutual friends (also in that P.E. class) first, just to see if she can provide any specific insights. Your advice is definitely helping, though.
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Cskia
in March 23rd, 2010 @ 19:58That’s a good idea, to talk to one of your mutual friends. Good luck.
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52.2
Alice
in March 23rd, 2010 @ 21:34Honestly…I’d ignore it. If you’re just PE class friends, it doesn’t really matter. School’ll be over soon-ish and then your connection won’t have to be anything more than a passing greeting in the halls…the friendship will fade. I know, I’ve had PE class friends like that and seriously all we ever say to each other is “hi, how’s it going” “oh not bad” every now and then. I guess I have a different view of smoking than you, though…it’s gross and bad for you but what I like much less is the mindset and the group of people who smoke–and to be honest there are a lot of people I don’t like and not all of them are smokers.
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52.2.1
Cat's Meow
in March 23rd, 2010 @ 21:44See, there’s part of me that completely agrees, and then there’s part of me that would feel really bad to just pretend that the whole thing doesn’t exist. It might not make a difference (and we might rarely talk to each other afterwards either way), but it feels like an easy out to rationalize by saying that it wouldn’t change anything anyways.
[[By the way, hi!]]
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52.2.1.1
Alice
in March 24th, 2010 @ 00:47Most people nowadays are perfectly aware of the dangers of smoking and don’t really like to be told how bad it is for them.
[[Hello! How are you?]]
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52.2.1.1.1
Cat's Meow
in March 24th, 2010 @ 22:36Yep, that’s my other concern. I just think that she’s a cool, funny, unique person with absolutely no need to smoke, and it might help in some way if I told her that.
[[Fine, thanks. And you?]]
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53
Cat's Meow
in March 23rd, 2010 @ 18:48I don’t really want to have this slip off the comments bar – any advice would be helpful, even if it’s not very insightful!
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53.1
Pseudonym
in March 23rd, 2010 @ 19:00I don’t really have any advice…. Maybe you could just casually mention it in conversation and see what she’s thinking? I don’t know, though. But good luck!
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53.2
Enceladus
in March 23rd, 2010 @ 19:04I have to say that you should tell her that you really advise her not to smoke, and you won’t be able to hang around with her if she doesn’t.
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53.3
bookgirl_me
in March 24th, 2010 @ 08:15Hm… I don’t know. A boy in my homeroom smokes, and all the other guys have been at him to quit it since they found out, but they just ended up harassing him.
I’d just try to stick to what you saw and how you feel about it. “I saw you smoking after school yesterday.” and see how she reacts. You can’t tell her how to live her life and you’re not going to lecture her about it, but you like her and wish she wouldn’t smoke and if there’s anything you can do (to help her stop), you would.
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54
Midnight Fiddler
in March 23rd, 2010 @ 19:3452~ I don’t know what to say. It reminds me of when I found out that a friend (well, actually, several friends, some of which are closer than others) are frequent users/have tried various (illegal) drugs.
One friend, who’s like a brother, apparently used to be a serious pothead, and has mostly stopped (he said). When he told me I was completely broadsided, and at a loss for words. He immediately asked (sounding seriously concerned) if I hated him now, or if it changed what I thought about him. My answer, after some serious readjusting of my thinking about the situation was, truthfully that no, it didn’t change what I thought of him as a person.
I told him I didn’t agree with it, and that I thought he was a completely whole (not to mention great) person without smoking, but I realize I cannot change anyone’s behavior, only hope to influence for the better and offer what support I can give.
So, in your situation, I think telling her upfront that you know she smokes, and that you don’t approve of it is a good idea, it’s my opinion that it’s always a good idea to talk about potential issues before they fester and get worse.
If you can bring yourself to tell her this, and that you don’t approve, let her know you like her as a person and friend, but that the smoking throws you and you’d encourage her to stop because you’re concerned for her health, and to please not smoke around you or try to get you hooked. If she’s reasonable, she’ll be fine about it.
Unless it really does change how you see her, or your friendship. In that case, really think about whether she’s the type you want to be friends with. Is she lying to smoke? Is she doing it because she’s pressured, or trying to be cool? These can be indicators that she needs more help than you can reasonably give. You can help her out, and hopefully show her that she doesn’t need to break the law (I’m assuming she’s under 18) and endanger her health to be a complete person, and that the momentary satisfaction isn’t worth the ultimate cost.Anyway, I hope that helped at least a little bit. I totally understand how hard it is to see friends doing things you disagree with, or engaging in things that will compromise their health. I guess it comes down to understanding that you can’t rescue everyone in the universe or change their behavior, but you can offer suggestions and alternatives to what they’re currently doing, and hopefully they’ll see that you’re really concerned for them, and not trying to force your morals on them.
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54.1
Cat's Meow
in March 23rd, 2010 @ 20:28Thanks for your advice/anecdote. Like you say, I’m not sure if I can change her behavior, since it’s obviously something she does with friends that she hangs out with way more than she hangs out with me, who probably have a bigger influence over her. And, yes, she’s far underage (freshman, like me).
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Midnight Fiddler
in March 23rd, 2010 @ 21:3154.1~ Yeah, sorry I tend to give advice through what I’ve had in my own experiences.
But don’t underestimate your influence, even if you’re the one person in her life who opposes her smoking, she might still listen to you. Now, with your description of her quick temper and grudge-holding, that might not be the case, I don’t know. But there’s always the possibility that you can in fact help her. Just as long as you don’t decide that it’s your sole responsibility to change her life for the better for her.
But I’m sure that you can figure out something to stay friends if it’s really the best and something you both want to have happen.
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Princess_Magnolia
in March 27th, 2010 @ 19:55Okay, so has anyone ever felt…like on Gmail or AIM or whatever, you’re so excited when someone’s “online” thingie pops up because you really want to talk to them and you want them to talk to you too? And then you never say what you really mean, or what you really want to say, and it bothers you, and then you forget and you never get to say it…and there are, like, so many things that you COULD say and you feel this “OMGeorge! Possibilities!” feeling when you see them online, and then you’re all depressed when they go offline because you didn’t talk about what you wanted…yeah. This is a very confusing post, but I was just thinking…
Because it’s kind of easier to say things online, isn’t it? But then you never get to say as much as you want and it really annoys me. Cake. I’m getting off the blog now.
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Midnight Fiddler
in March 29th, 2010 @ 00:14So, what happens when you feel like you don’t know any of your friends anymore, or that you know them too well and aren’t sure you really want to hang out with them, even though you’ve known them for years and years and always assumed you were thick as thieves?
What happens then? What happens when you want to change who you are, because you no longer feel like you’re being true to yourself, when you’ve become no longer relevant to yourself, or your surroundings?
What happens when you don’t know who you want to change into, when you don’t know how to get there or who to go with? What if you’re afraid you’re making the same mistakes as your friends? What if you’re not doing the same thing, but your way is the mistake?
What happens when you’re not comfortable anywhere? Where do you go? What do you do?
What happens when all the things you used to believe in suddenly don’t make sense? When you find yourself doing things you promised yourself you wouldn’t? When others do things they promised they wouldn’t? Why does it hurt so badly? Why does it confuse someone? What does betrayal feel like, and why is it felt when the promise wasn’t made to you?What happens when things change?
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57.1
starr
in March 30th, 2010 @ 20:57Oh, Fiddler. I wish I could tell you the answer. But alas, I’m just a measly 13 year old and my guess is as good as yours.
Unfortunately, however, I can relate. Maybe not quite to that extreme, but in some of those cases, I can understand where you’re coming from. So anyway, I guess here it goes. Sorry for what I’m sure will prove to be a long rant that may not help you. *choklit* *clears throat*
There are several people who I look at now and I wonder what happened to them – some in the last year, the last month, the last week. I know I’ve changed, and I’ve probably lost some friends because of it, but now I can’t seem to figure out what goes on behind all that makeup we used to swear we would never wear. (Oh, gosh. That sounds like a line in a book.) Most of them aren’t my friends anymore, not because of makeup, but because it just doesn’t work anymore. We’ve drifted apart. It really hurts to remember all the times we had when we could just talk without stopping, but now all of our conversations are short and choppy, and I’ve become the awkward girl who always says the wrong thing. I’ve been able to find some good friends to hold onto, but there was a period when I didn’t think I would…and that was hard. I wasn’t exactly the proactive, “let’s go find some friends” type, though. I just sort of sat around moping, and I was fortunate enough for some other great people to find me. It’s not perfect, but it’s good, and that’s all I honestly was looking for.
But if you feel like some friends are leaving you or your just not yourself anymore…well, that’s tough. No doubt that’s tough. But the truth is that (and this is going to sound incredibly corny) my belief is that in the end I’ll be ok. Even if you don’t think you have friends, change will happen, and what may at first seem to be negative might in the end turn out to be positive. This is getting more into the self thing and not friends thing, and it’s hard for me to say something there, because I really haven’t quite been through it. But I know you’re a good person, based on what I’ve seen you write, and I think you should know that. And even if you don’t know where you’re going (physically or emotionally) that’s ok!
But like Piggy said: you don’t like solitude. (By the way, neither can I. I can’t stand it. I’m actually a pretty social person.) So you should not settle for it. If you can, sometimes the most neutral people you know you can establish a friendship with.
I doubt that worked for you at all, but please know that we’ll always be here for you no matter how tough it gets, you can always come onto MB.
I promise. And I’ll always be here waiting. Even when I’m not, other people will, that is, and I’m sure (or at least, I hope) that I’ll be here in spirit even when I’m not in front of a computer screen. And now that I’m finished this incredibly long and pointless post, I’ll stop. *hugs* And I’m sorry that this is no help at all and an annoyance probably to anyone who reads it.
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57.2
muselover
in March 30th, 2010 @ 23:33Wow, that’s deep! Which question specifically do you want me to answer?
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57.3
LittleBasementKitten
in March 31st, 2010 @ 07:09I can relate, too.
Once upon a time, there were two girls. One, let’s call her Mary, was really afraid of spiders and heights, and generally chicken. The other girl, let’s call her Jane, loved roller coasters and playing video games. Since these two were complete opposites, they’d been friends since pre-school. But one day, they both got Nintendo DS’s. Now, Jane came over to Mary’s house almost every day, nearly ruining their friendship. She realized this, and didn’t go to Mary’s house that often anymore. But the damage had already been done.
Jane and Mary slowly drifted apart, not seeing each other as much. Their moms desperately tried to save it, but the friendship took a final blow, on a nice summer day, ironically.
Jane and Mary’s mothers took them to a pool. Jane loved the water, and got in as soon as they got there. But Mary just stayed on the towel, talking to the mom’s. “Come on!” said Jane. “The water’s fine! Really!” But Mary only stayed for about 5 minutes, they got out again. Jane thought she would be heartbroken, but she wasn’t. That was when she realized that they had grown apart.
After that, Jane talked with her mom, and they both agreed that Jane and Mary had grown apart. “I mean, who goes to a pool and doesn’t get in the water?” Jane’s mom said. Jane nodded, and now she doesn’t see Mary anymore.
I’m Jane.
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57.4
bookgirl_me
in March 31st, 2010 @ 09:06I wish I had a good answer. By me, it’s usually an inner struggle, confusion, then depression. And then I find out that that wasn’t depression, that was just a little sadness about being rejected and forgotten, this is depression, sinking deeper and deeper until you find yourself sitting staring at the wall an entire afternoon and you can’t get up and do anything and you start watching films and stupid videos and anything that will stop you from thinking. Once your life revolved around books, now you don’t even read more than a page before throwing them away. You feel like you’re screaming inside but noone can hear you and you can’t let it out. I wish I had an answer. I don’t. I just know that t some point, you stumble across something. A song you used to love. An old poem. You read it/listen to it, and suddenly you feel a better. You feel something is going to happen, to change. Then you go out for a walk and see a beautifull sunset and somehow you know that everything will be better. You find yourself dreaming new dreams.
What happens when things change? You lose everything , so that you can find it again.
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57.4.1
SudoRandom
in April 17th, 2010 @ 19:16I would just like for you to know that this post is amazing. Recently this happened to me, and the first thing I thought of was that quote, “that at some point, you stumble across something. A song you used to love. An old poem. You read it/listen to it, and suddenly you feel a better.”
Anyway, this post is a bit pointless, and I just wanted to recognize how amazing yours was. That is all.
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58
Midnight Fiddler
in March 30th, 2010 @ 19:36Anyone?
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58.1
Piggy
in March 30th, 2010 @ 19:49I’m afraid I can’t really help you. I don’t have any “friends” in the usual sense.
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59
Midnight Fiddler
in March 30th, 2010 @ 19:5458.1~ What do you mean?
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59.1
Piggy
in March 30th, 2010 @ 20:07Well, I have acquaintances whose personalities and senses of humor I enjoy, but I don’t have any confidants or anything like that. I never want to hang out with people outside of school. It’s, er, a bit more than that as well, but I doubt anyone on MB wants to hear my life story.
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Midnight Fiddler
in March 30th, 2010 @ 20:1759.1~ Oh. It seems I’m headed in that direction as well for the most part, though not the only hanging out with people from school part.
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60.1
Piggy
in March 30th, 2010 @ 20:20Hm, I suppose that was an unclear sentence: I do not hang out with anyone when I’m outside of school. I only chat with people during class or occasionally in the halls.
But there is a difference between the two of us: you do not like this solitude.
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Midnight Fiddler
in March 30th, 2010 @ 20:4260.1~ Aha, that does make more sense.
Eh, it’s kind of been this way for a long time, it just seems like it’s intensifying. And I have nothing against solitude, I just like having friends there when I need them. That sounded totally self-centered, urg. x/
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Midnight Fiddler
in March 30th, 2010 @ 23:2157.1~ Quite the contrary, that was a very wonderful post, and a great encouragement. You’re not a “measly 13 year old”, you’re an amazing person. *hugs back*
I know I’ve changed some, and I know I’ve definitely lost or moved on from a lot of friends, but this one has been hard. She and I have been through a lot together, and always been pretty close, but when she started going to public school she started slowly drifting away. I still like her a lot and all, she’s still probably the closest to a best friend I’ve got, but it sometimes feels like I really don’t matter.
I’m a very ignorable kind of person it seems, I have friends when it’s convenient for them, but when it’s not, I get ignored. I realize that a lot of that is probably simply because I don’t get to see them very often, so I’m just not even on the radar, but it still stings.
And this most recent fiasco, well, it’s boys. She was putting on this stuff about how she was going to act, be all careful, save everything for marriage, etc. etc., and I find out that within a month of dating this guy, her first real boyfriend, she’s gone off and done what I think is a pretty stupid move. And I’m just going, really? Just a few months ago she was flipping out and having a cow over another one of our friends who did something, admittedly thoughtless, but not as much as this.
Urgh. It’s frustrating, and even more so when one takes into account that she’s like a little sister to me, and I know that she’s having a rough time right now, and I’m worried for her because I see her headed in a potentially heartbreaking direction, and trust me, she doesn’t need any more issues right now.
And I guess I wish I could believe in someone. I’ve done some things I’m questioning lately too, and questioning who I am in general and what direction I want to go in, and it’s disconcerting when not only am I unable to trust myself entirely, but I’m disappointed in my friends as well.I know I’ll make new friends, and I have already, but it seems like the people I really like spending time with I never get to see, because they live all over the place and our lives just drift apart.
And I don’t want to lean too heavily on certain people that I do feel I can trust (like Phil, or Neil), because I hate feeling like I’m whining (yeah, and here I am now). Not to mention that they’re guys, and sometimes I just want to talk to another girl who actually gets what I mean and understands. *sigh*
It’s just not the most fun situation at the moment.
I certainly have friends, and I love them all, don’t get me wrong, it’s just it seems like I don’t have many close friends.
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62.1
starr
in March 31st, 2010 @ 18:05Aww, thanks. I really didn’t know where that post was going so it was sort of like one of those “quick hit post before I regret it” sort of things.
Anyway, I know what you mean about friends not being the same or always feel like you’re just important when it’s most convenient but never number one on the list. This sounds horrible, but I’ve never had a true “best” friend since I was very young. Part of this has to do with moving around a lot, hence having to make new friends everywhere I went. I didn’t stay in one place for more than 2 years until I was 8, so making new friends and learning about new situations…that was life for me. But ever since I’ve been in one place, (especially so this year) socially it’s actually been pretty tough, I guess because I’m not accustomed to it. I’m very blessed and thankful for have gotten the chance to move around so much at such an early age, but now it’s caused me to be a little off socially from other people. I’m used to making friends, but I guess I lack being able to keep them. And I haven’t really been able to do that well this year, especially with so much constant change around.
For me, that’s frustrating, because like you, I need to have a really close friend. A bunch of ok friends are awesome, but none of them are quite the best friend I can imagine, which just makes me feel picky. (like I just can’t be happy with the wonderful people I do have in my life) But I just want you to know that I know exactly how you’re feeling, and you’re not alone and it is not a fun feeling.
Even though I’m a fairly social person when it comes down to it, (or at least, I would like to think I am, others would beg to differ) it just hasn’t been that way for me, and I hope that everything fits into place (or at least, more into place) for you.
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Midnight Fiddler
in March 31st, 2010 @ 18:0157.3~ I’ve had pretty much the exact same situation at times. *hug*
57.4~ That was beautiful and very eloquent. “What happens when things change? You lose everything, so that you can find it again.”
You have a gift for description, thank you.
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Maths Lover ♥
in April 2nd, 2010 @ 03:34*reads posts**groans* I don’t really have anything to add to all this, except my own wonderful problems. For those of you who haven’t kept track of my rants about them, this is what happened:
V was in the popular group. She hated me. She made friends with a lot of my friends and tried to turn, oh, almost everyone except this year’s French class (it’s finally become an elective) against me. My homeroom is a pile of censored except for L (one of French buddies) and M. As V spends all her time with either M or D, this has not helped our friendships. In homeroom, I sit with L and M sits with V and is totally oblivious. I only see her in one class, PE, and we barely look at each other. I don’t want to lose her friendship, but what can I do?D and I used to be friends. It wasn’t the closest of friendships, but she was supportive when my homeroom were mean and we had a lot of fun together. I liked her enough so that I was really upset when she refused to see V’s meanness. But that’s not it. Once, I would get on the bus with her and try to make her see reason, and she would act like M does. But now, she’s acting like V herself. She’s turned into a lying hypercrite, she calls me a bitch if I say one word against V. She acts almost like V and I see nothing in her. Every day I see her hug V and I want to go die in a hole.
The only friends I have who aren’t obsessed with V are people I still sit with and know will accept me but aren’t that close to, and my French buddies G, E, L, and W. G, E, and I think W are part of my lunch group, but L sits with a different group. I wouldn’t mind if they were just people I didn’t know well, but some of them are mean too. She hasn’t seen it because they ignore me when she’s there. I’ve told L about V, and I don’t think she likes our homeroom either. So should I say something to her, or hope she figures it out herself?
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Midnight Fiddler
in April 8th, 2010 @ 09:36It sounds to me as though V might be trying to get to you via your friends. She’s obviously succeeded with M and D, and L is a friend, but sits with a different lunch group that is also mean.
I honestly don’t know what to tell you. I know what you mean though, and all I can say is hang in there, and seriously evaluate your friendships with all these people.
I know that’s it’s incredibly hard to lost a friend, or drift apart (I feel like I’m somewhat in that process myself right now), but some things to consider are 1. how do they act when they’re with me, vs. with others? Does it change drastically?
2. Do they act differently now than when you first met/became friends? Are they changing in ways that are destructive to themselves and the people around them?
3. Have I changed the way I act since we met/became friends? What direction am I taking?
4. Are our new directions capable of working out, or will our paths eventually split to the point where we have nothing to build a friendship on?And if you come to the conclusion that it’s not working out, you don’t have to dump whatever friend immediately, but just accept that you’re drifting. If you can’t imagine life without them, have a serious talk and agree for both of you to put in effort at repairing the friendship.
And if your friends really don’t know that their other friends are being mean to you, do tell them. It’s hard for anyone to have their friends criticized, so do tread lightly, but find a way to let them know what’s going on, if they don’t act mean in front of your friend. Or your friend may know, and be intimidated or feel that if she doesn’t go along with them they’ll make her life miserable, and that’s a hard position to be in.
Let her know she has options, if she’s not comfortable around them.I don’t know if any of that helps, but hopefully at least some tiny part of it will. It’s hard not having close friends, but at some point you’ll meet someone, or become closer to someone you already know. It can work out. *hugs* And we’ll always be here on MB.
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66
bookgirl_me
in April 8th, 2010 @ 13:0764- *hugs* I hate when things like that happen. I don’t know what you can do about M.. I’m a great example for losing friends: C was practically like my brother for six years, and then… I guess our friendship was less important to him than it was to me. My best suggestion would be to go to her (M.) and tell her that V has been “very unfriendly” to you, and that you miss her and would like to spend more time with her and see if she’s completely lost. You can try to counteract any lies V might have told about you (that you’re “overpossesive” or something like that) by telling her that she’s free to do what she wants, you just want to know where you’re at with her. I’d tell L exactly what is going on. Unless you have somehow pissed her off by setting her cat on fire or something like that, she’ll understand and hopefully even talk to some of your other friends about it.
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SudoRandom
in April 15th, 2010 @ 16:15I don’t have anything to add, either, besides, to quote Maths Lover, “my own wonderful problems”.
Recently, I’ve been feeling rather friendless. I used to have plenty of friends. Or, enough, anyway. I had friendlies I called friends. Our relationship was complicated, in my eyes, so I will call them my friends. Anyway, I had plenty of people I enjoyed spending time with. This year, I feel so disconnected from them. I can’t stand them, sometimes. Today at recess I could barely be within thirty feet of them because I felt so contemptuous of them. Nearly every single one of my friends is on MuseBlog, and I really mean that. I have a small few left at my school, but I never really get to see them… Why can’t I stand anyone in my life anymore?
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Maths Lover♥
in April 16th, 2010 @ 05:2465 and 66- Thanks! Gah, I sounded like such a drama queen in that post, but hopefully things will work out.
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69
Princess_Magnolia
in April 23rd, 2010 @ 19:28I feel kind of bad because I told my two friends ( who, yes, are kind of annoying ) that I’d go see Oceans with them tonight, and then I decided not to go because I was tired and hungry and needed to finish practicing trombone…but then I felt kind of bad. They kept begging me to go, but by then it was too late. It’s not the first time I’ve blown them off with something, but…whatever. Thoughts? Should I not do that?
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starr
in May 10th, 2010 @ 15:37Ok, because I’m a visual person who needs to have visual aids for everything, here’s the whole dealio with my friendship issues: Yeah, I’m bored. I also feel the strange need to map this all out and be able to see it all in one place instead of scattered in my brain. So, here we go. (For the most part I’ll probably use the first initial of the girl/boy or another random nickname, I guess I’ll see as I go along. Oh, and by the way, this is probably going to be terribly confusing for outsiders. No, you don’t have to try to understand it.
This is actually more for my own good, but if you want to read on, go right ahead.) So, let’s see…The Jellybeans:
Leader: E/sometimes Eggs
Members: Eggs, Juice, Jump, Caramel, Almonds and sometimes Papaya
Overview: I like Juice (Because she’s on the soccer team so we can talk there.) and I like Caramel but can’t spend as much time with her because E and Eggs hate my guts and they start glaring whenever I get near them. Caramel and I are still friends though, we’ve been that way for a long time. Not really sure why Eggs hate me, (she seems to take a “I’ve decided to hate you and make your life miserable for no reason approach, so I ignore her), but at least E has a good reason to not love me. After whole blow up fight, we don’t talk much, but we’re not exactly enemies anymore either. She still pisses me off sometimes, but for the most part we’re cool and what can you do? Jump and I were close last year but have pretty much just drifted apart. I don’t know Almonds well, she’s pretty nice from what I can tell but I’ve never been in any of her classes.Group: Weirdness (Which, yes, describes them perfectly)
Leader: No one
Members: Coconut, Crystal, K1, K2, A, Eggplant, sometimes me, sometimes Bri, and sometimes Papaya
Overview: Coconut is just plain annoying but I don’t dislike her for any reason, I just find her to be a little too chaotic/loud/obnoxious for my taste. Crystal is really nice, I just wish we could talk more but we’re not in any of the same classes or any study halls so it’s tough to find the time to do it. K1 = way too much to say so I won’t say anything at all. But she’s very annoying. K2 = Nice, a little like Coconut but overall I like hanging out with her band. I don’t really know A or Eggplant.Populars (Or so everyone thinks)
Leader: Emily
Members: There are way too many to write them down, but a lot of the girls who I haven’t mentioned above in my grade are part of this. Although they’re not bad, they have that reputation in Weirdness/Jellybeans. The problem is that I’ve lost several friends to this group this year. They’re the pretty group who all the guys like and the ones who actually go out on dates. At first I didn’t like them but I’ve gotten to know a few of them, and they’re actually pretty nice. They have their moments but they’re no worse than the other groups and I wish people would get that. It’s hard to balance my time between them and my other friends but for the most part I do if I can.B: B and I are really good friends. She’s so amazing, she just has this touch that I totally get. We understand each other really well, she knows how to make me feel good about myself, and it’s awesome. I haven’t had a best friend like this in a really long time it seems.
T: T is the guy I’ve liked for a long time, he’s really nice but he’s not into me as anything more than a friend. I get that, but on a friends level, we’re pretty good. He’s a good person to just chill and talk to and laugh around with.
Whew, sorry GAPA(s) that was long….but now everything makes more sense to me.
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Princess_Magnolia
in May 21st, 2010 @ 16:57I was just thinking about posting on this thread.
I have decided it is pointless to try to keep up with Ella. There’s no use.
*leaves thread*
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agrrrfishi
in June 28th, 2010 @ 20:36My friends are going up north without me this weekend…even though they talked about it and got excited about it in front of my face.
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73
Mikazuki
in July 30th, 2010 @ 15:5272-I’m sorry for you, that sounds very inconsiderate of them. *virtual kitten*
I think my friend is mad at me. I have no idea why though. I think an alien may or may not have take over her body- she seems so different… For example, she (used to) hate makeup, like a lot. like a lot a lot. Then, we had this sleepover a few weeks ago, and she says “oh, makeup isn’t that bad…” There were other things too. She doesn’t really seem to care about things as much(Such as Japan, moving into the woods and living like hermits with no electricity/running water/polluting, or sleeping.)
….grrrr. I don’t know, maybe she’s just mad at me. ….For something…? Uggg. Rouwouwouwrrr.
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74
Rosebud2- Wild MissingNo. appeared!
in August 25th, 2010 @ 08:36OHMYGOSH
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75
Unintended Pun
in May 12th, 2011 @ 09:05Does anyone else who is graduating this year/graduated from high school already feel like it doesn’t matter if you keep your friends from high school sometimes?
When I move I know that I will still be friends with my Croatian friend because we both love having penpals and we are happy to move away from each other because now we can be penpals.
I’ll still be friends with A because he and I act like we already live 2000 miles away even though we live in the same town, so being apart and seeing each other once or twice a year is normal.
There are other people that I might talk to sometimes, but I don’t really care either way if we stay friends.
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75.1
KaiYves
in May 12th, 2011 @ 12:35I know I’ll be able to see Erin when I come back to New York on breaks, because she’s only a freshman in High School now. I don’t get to see her much normally, so it won’t feel that different.
I’ll be able to visit Hannah next year when I come back, but then she’ll go away to college in California or Hawai’i, so I don’t know about then.
I haven’t really thought about anyone else besides my two best friends.
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Ebeth
in May 12th, 2011 @ 14:23just popping in to tell you guys that i have friends i guess?
i think R&R has more posts because things actually happen there. “i made a friend” isn’t really as exciting or unusual as “i got a bf”
although i do have a friend from pennsylvania visiting for HvZ which is pretty exciting (he’s actually the housemate of an MBer so he sort of counts as MB? but not really)
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76.1
Robert Coontz (Administrator)
in May 12th, 2011 @ 14:43He has an MB number of 1. (Actual MBers all have MB numbers of zero.)
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77
Randomosity101 (Shouldn't there be a law against procrastinating like this?)
in May 12th, 2011 @ 16:34My friend situation is weird. I had a bunch of friends in California. Best friends, some I saw every day, regular friends, friends I could talk to about anything, friends who I knew too well to trust with my life, friends who could invite me over in an hour’s time with nothing planned and I would be right over, and vice-versa. I lost my very best friend in the world to middle school, and a lesser-best friend as well. When I moved to North Carolina, I completely lost contact with all friends I couldn’t contact via email, Facebook, or phone. I still have a bunch of friends, but most of them are just-friends and I only have contact with three best friends. I made new friends in NC, as in middle school, of course, but my “best NC friends” are not really best friends. I couldn’t invite any of my friends over without a plan and/or a day in advance. My friends in NC are mostly single-topic friends; we really only ever talk about things in a fairly narrow scope. So my closest friends are farthest away.
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Midnight Fiddler
in May 12th, 2011 @ 16:5475 (UP)~ I don’t really have school friends, since I’ve not been part of a homeschool group for a long time. The handful of local friends I have I’m not that close to, for the most part. Generally they clump with their school or church friends and I hang out alone or I go off and do other things, like sail, which means I’m further away and they exclude me more and the gap widens. For the most part I don’t think the exclusion is intentional, but really is just that I don’t move in their circles. I don’t go to their highschool, church, homeschool group, or other social activities, so I just kind of slip off the radar.
I often feel that while people usually respect me or see me as a pretty dependable and likeable person, they don’t really choose to be friends. I had this a lot on Niagara. I definitely had a fair amount of friends there, and I think I was pretty well liked among the entire crew, but other people got invited to do things. Other people went to bars, dance parties, museums, shopping malls, whatever. Now, I don’t really like bars, dance parties or shopping malls, but I never really got asked along or included in things. I was welcome if I wanted to tag along, and people would go somewhere with me if I invited them and someone else didn’t invite them to another thing, but I never felt like I was really part of the whole bonded-shipmates thing.
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78.1
Unintended Pun
in May 12th, 2011 @ 21:33I kind of feel like that too sometimes. I feel like I know a lot of people and we like each other because we don’t dislike each other. I could invite myself to go with them and nobody would care, but they wouldn’t take the initiative to invite me because we aren’t that close and it probably just doesn’t occur to them to invite me.
I feel like Alice’s post after this. A year ago I wanted to hang out with people and get closer to friends, but now I don’t really notice much except for Bjela (croatian girl, fake name) and Ali. (and kind of A, but not really because I never see him)
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Alice
in May 12th, 2011 @ 18:21I like friends! Well, some of them. Well, all the people I consider my friends I like. The others are just people I don’t get on with or something. I’ve sort of isolated myself lately from all my friends that I don’t love, which is kind of sad and kind of…empowering? And kind of just preparation for leaving. Like, a year ago I might have been sad not to hang out with these people, but now I am not. I’ll write to the people I have real affection for and no one else.
That sad, I am SO READY to start over in college. I’ve been hanging out on the site-that-shall-not-be-named with the other future L&C kids and it’s way fun.
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Mikazuki
in May 12th, 2011 @ 21:18Friends..right.
Sometimes it appears to me that I have frind problems, and thne sometimes it doesn’t. I have this friend, let us call en Apple, who sometimes avoids me, moves away when I sit down next to her, etc.
And then I try to talk to her about it and she insists that nothing’s wrong. At this point I typically decide that she needs some space and leave her alone. I’m really worried about her–and then, just when I’m considering asking her again if anything’s going on, she’s fine and normal and we laugh and get along perfectly.
And the cycle starts all over again.
I’m confused. Does anybody have any advice?
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Unintended Pun
in May 12th, 2011 @ 21:29Maybe she’s just a moody person. If she actually believes that nothing is wrong then she is probably just wishy washy about her emotions and doesn’t realize that she’s messing with your head.
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Randomosity101 (Is no linger procrastinating! Yay!)
in May 13th, 2011 @ 20:23It’s possible she’s an introvert or has some emotional complication. UP already covered the latter, but as to the former… Have you ever heard the phrase “peopled out”? For introverts/people with certain learning disabilities, we can be around people for only so long before we need to be alone. If we don’t get our space periodically – well the effects vary from person to person. A lot of people freak out, or get hyper outwardly but inwardly feel… unpleasant. Often, the people we’re around don’t notice anything because it’s mostly internal. There’s nothing wrong with someone who is “peopled out”, hence her seemingly baffling response.
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Mikazuki
in May 14th, 2011 @ 10:37This is a response to Unintended Pun as well.
She only avoids me and my other friend, however–she’ll hang out and talk, laugh, etc with other people in our grade–and, in fact, she’s more social then than she usually is with us.
I suppose it’s possible that she’s just moody–but then why is she only moody to us? I’ve no idea.
I wonder if I’ve done something wrong, something to make her act like this, but she if she’s mad at me her style of dealing with things tends to be to confront me, and then we end up talking things out. I don’t know her as well as I thought I did, evidently, though, so I probably did do something. I have no idea what.
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fireandhemlock1996
in May 14th, 2011 @ 06:11I love the fact that when my current friends fail me, my old friends will always be there, even the ones that I haven’t seen for 3-5 years. It’s funny how I can just pick up a conversation with a friend from second grade, after not having seen him for six years, and we can talk for hours and hours and we can say whatever we want, or we could discuss phobias for two hours or just talk about what’s been going on in our lives, because it doesn’t really matter what we talk about, but when I’m talking to most my newer friends that I’ve made since I moved, our conversations are awkward and sometimes there are huge uncomfortable gaps in the talking parts. There are exceptions to this, but not as often as I’d like.
It’s an interesting phenomenon.
I guess what T (the friend who I haven’t seen for six years but was talking to through Voldynet the other day) said explains it the most, “It’s like as kids we were so close, we were such a tightly knitted community, that even though years and years pass and people can change so much, somewhere inside we’re still the same crazy six-year-olds who would roll down the hills trying to see who could run into the treehouse with the momentum or run around screaming our heads off for no reason at all, and we’ll always be like that no matter how many years there might be between our meetings.”[nostalgiaramble]
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Maths Lover ♥
in May 15th, 2011 @ 05:49I do have some friend issues. Basically I was really unsocial until middle school age, and I’ve only known my friends for a couple of years. The problem is they all have way older friends I don’t know. So there’s a lot of jealousy issues. Sometimes I feel like everything is awesome, then sometimes I want to choke people with the Force. Or show them some slash fanfiction.
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ZNZ
in May 15th, 2011 @ 08:27The vast majority of my friends are people I’ve met on the Internet. I like it that way, and I do have a few very close friends IRL.
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Pseudonym
in May 31st, 2011 @ 17:49This is true for me too. All of my friends are either MuseBloggers or people I met at camp, with a couple exceptions.
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Ducky
in May 31st, 2011 @ 18:04Same here.
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Tesseract
in May 30th, 2011 @ 21:13Really condensed version:
Friend N used to be friends with seniors in band, but then they graduated. He started hanging out with friend D during lunch this year. Then friend D’s group of friends started using drugs and alcohol, and friend D didn’t feel comfortable around them anymore, and D and N came to eat lunch with the rest of my friends. N used to be good friends with B and A. He has had a pattern, though, of blowing little things that he dislikes about people out of proportion and letting it dominate entire relationships, making him hate people. D doesn’t have many close friends besides me and N anymore (she’s probably my best friend). She and N mostly keep to themselves at lunch. She is incredibly paranoid about N ditching her and that may play into the fact that they tend to parrot a lot of each others’ views. N complains a LOT, and it doesn’t usually bother me except when it’s about people. D didn’t used to complain about people, but she’s started doing it too. Recently, they’ve both been hating on B and A (who are kind-of-sort-of together) a lot for reasons I’m not entirely even sure exist in any kind of substantial way. I’m friends with B, and A is one of my closest friends, and clearly this makes me really uncomfortable. It upsets me more than it probably should, actually, because ever since I’ve heard them doing this to the current extent (about a week) I’ve been pretty unhappy and my stomach has felt kind of clenched up all the time. It upsets me because N used to be friends with them and now he hates them for no discernible good reason, and because D drops things like “well I’m going to be all grouchy at lunch, you know why,” and because all my friends used to either be friends or not really know each other and I liked it that way. I hate that there is hate. I’m also a little worried that N will start hating me the way he’s started hating so many other people. I’ve told D a couple times that I’m not comfortable hearing about how she and N dislike B and A, but that doesn’t seem to have been 100% effective.
Anyway, this has been making me pretty miserable and I’m not really sure what to do.Advice? Please?
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Tesseract
in May 30th, 2011 @ 21:42asfhkaldjadgasfg;sjsa I don’t even know why I’m so upset about this.
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Beedle
in May 30th, 2011 @ 23:27*shakes fist*
Do you see how annoying people are? For you and me both. I think if everyone just talked to each other everything would be fine, for both of us. I mean, the likelihood of that happening for me is 0, but you may have more luck. I’m sorry that you have to put up with this. Good people like you don’t deserve it.
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Beedle
in May 30th, 2011 @ 23:35Oh, and happy birthday! Don’t let annoying friends ruin it for you, wifey. Have a great day
tomorrowtoday. Thank you for being such a good friend.
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Princess_Magnolia
in May 31st, 2011 @ 14:33Just refuse to listen to any complaining about B and A. Go, “We’re not talking about this,” and start talking about the weather. Or trees. Or anything you want. And if the subject persists, just walk away.
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Tesseract
in June 10th, 2011 @ 15:46I saw this but must not have clicked “comment” or something. Anyway, thanks, Beedle!
And thanks for the advice, Magnolia.
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Juliet
in June 10th, 2011 @ 13:52Hi! This is Juliet from the R&R thread, maintaining her alter ego due to the relatedness of Romeo with this new drama. Inevitably, the conflicts between two opposing teams continue.
Romeo’s team is having an end-of-the-year party and they invited me. I invited a couple people from my team who know them but carefully omitted someone on my team who they don’t like (let’s call him Max) and his girlfriend (who we’ll call Ruby) because a) I know they’re a little iffy about Max and uncertain of his intentions, and b) I wasn’t sure if Ruby would go if Max didn’t come – this was a mistake on my part, because they’re not possessive at all or anything.
Now Max is mad at me because I didn’t invite him or Ruby, and he’s accusing me of taking sides, when really I didn’t mean to offend anyone at all and I’m not choosing Romeo’s team over mine.
Ruby and Max are two of my best friends, and they’re graduating, and they’re really mad at me and I’m sorry but I don’t know how to make it up to them because I know I’ve been an idiot and I’ve tried to justify my actions to them but they’re not believing me.I can’t believe it. We’re such good friends that a stupid party invitation on Voldynet shouldn’t matter. He’s accused me of taking the side of our competition over him, which I resent because it’s absolutely not true – I simply didn’t want to offend the host of a party and I didn’t want to be presumptuous. It had nothing to do with team borders and Max is not believing what I’m telling him. I’m afraid he’s not going to trust me anymore and this is horrible because he’s graduating and I don’t want this to be his last impression of me.
I have absolutely no idea what to do.
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Juliet
in June 10th, 2011 @ 13:56Wow, that had a lot of run-on sentences… sorry about that. I’m flustered.
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Piggy
in September 28th, 2011 @ 16:23So a few nights ago I went on a man-date with a friend of mine from high school, the one I went to the Renaissance festivals with (if that rings a bell). We went to a really good but not-well-known Mexican restaurant and chatted. Though I still don’t quite relate to the concept of a “best” friend, I think he’s the friend I’m closest with and trust most, but not the person I spend the most time with. He doesn’t know what he wants to do with his life. He’s already switched majors two or three times–philosophy, engineering, medieval and Renaissance studies, a bit of everything. I like getting to know him. He’s not the schoolish type, but he has a good work ethic–he was telling me he’s not sure why he has a job right now, since he has a very good amount of money saved away, but he just keeps working. Anyway, he and I are vaguely thinking about taking a road trip next summer, possibly to the Grand Tetons and/or the Pacific Northwest.
I don’t know why I’m blabbing about this. I guess it’s been a while since I’ve had a close-ish friend? I think skipping a grade may have messed with me more than I realized.
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