As Wikipedia explains it, “A Tom Swifty (or Tom Swiftie) is a phrase in which a quoted sentence is linked by a pun to the manner in which it is attributed.” It was named after the Tom Swift book series which began in 1910.
A few examples may be the best way to explain the format:
- “It’s freezing”, Tom muttered icily.
- “I might as well be dead,” Tom croaked.
- “I don’t have any more flowers,” Tom said lackadaisically.
- “Pass me the shellfish,” said Tom crabbily.
“Let’s see some more Tom Swifties!” Piggy promptly exclaimed.
After so many years, I have my thread. :’)
“By investing it, I can turn this penny–this one single penny–into a million dollars!” said Tom magnificently.
“Y’know how I lost all the muscles in my chest after that car accident? Well, they grew back!” said Tom unexpectedly.
“The F-1 engines powered the mighty Saturn V.” said Tom apologetically.
“This is like inventing the telegraph all over again.” said Tom remorsefully.
“I am an expert on early-20th-century ocean liners.” said Tom titanically.
Some friends of mine on a social network recently got into these, which is what inspired me to make a thread.
An excellent pun one of them just posted: “I joined a gang, but their trademark bandanas feel uncomfortable against my skin,” said Tom cryptically.
“The relative major for that key is C,” said Tom accordingly.
I think that my contributions to this thread would only consist of increasingly loud groans.
(Yes, that is a compliment.)
A pair of ’em:
“I think I caught the cold from Liz, because after we shared that lollipop she got a runny nose,” Tom explained cyclically.
“Nicholas doesn’t care about doing the right thing,” said Tom cynically.
EDIT: “So are we gonna rewatch that witch movie?” Tom asked, bleary-eyed.
“Hey, you know that Catherine who was in the Moody Blues for a while? I bet she’s gonna start blabbering about how the material world is evil,” Tom prognosticated.
“I know who discovered King Tut’s tomb.” said Tom cryptically.
“Help me write this essay about the East India Company’s colonization of India!” said Tom imperially.
“Ugh, I wish I could cry again. My eyes are so dry,” said Tom mysteriously.
“Look out! The Siren’s chasing us!” Tom screamed.
“You’re not still on that stupid ‘no starch’ diet, are you?” said Tom derisively.
“My dog ate 15 cantaloupes and exploded,” said Tom melancholily.
“I’ll bet all that metal in the recycling center gets shipped straight to China,” said Tom cantankerously.
Come on, am I going to have to do this all by myself?
…he asked helplessly.
Funnily enough, my friends and I do this all the time. Example back-and-forth: “I promise, I didn’t do it!” “…she said, lyingly.”
“Can you really fit 18 people in your van?” Tom said carefully.
“How many cans does your cat like to eat?” Tom said fortunately.
“That’s the group of cavers planning to map the cavern’s unexplored passages.” said Tom expeditiously.
“Tell me what rank Riker was on Star Trek: The Next Generation!” Tom commanded.
“Which crew member landed the space shuttle?” asked Tom, commandingly.
“C’mon, let’s go prank the Who Wants to Be a Millionaire guy,” said Tom egregiously.
“Hey, hey, hey, listen!” Tom said knavishly.
“Buy my salmon!” Tom said selfishly.
“Now I can’t print anything,” Tom said, depressed.
(Does that work?)
Well, sure.
As I understand it, the classic Tom Swifty ends with “said Tom, [adverb]ly.” That’s supposed to have been a stylistic quirk of the the original series of Tom Swift books, which were published between 1910 and 1941. I’ve never been able to confirm that first hand, because Tom didn’t talk like that in later “Tom Swift, Jr.” books I
readdevoured as a child. But, as it happens, I’ve just inherited a stack of old TS books that belonged to my father and/or grandfather (Tom Swift and His Giant Robot! Tom Swift and His Electric Rifle! Tom Swift and His Aerial Warship!), so I’ll soon be able to see for myself. I’ll let you know what I find out.Ah! When I was introduced to Tom Swifties I was told that the joke was in the verb rather than the modifiers: things along the lines of, “‘I’ve thought of a way to get all that water out of the basement,’ Tom piped up”; it’s only recently that I found out that they’re usually done with adverbs.
“I want to watch the stereotypical Italian barbershop quartet perform,” said Tom menacingly.
“I didn’t steal your pasta strainer,” said Tom deceivingly.
“There’s much more storage space in the attic,” said Tom loftily.
“I love when the power goes out!” Said Tom delightedly.
Nice! The tone of the sentence matches the adverb while the topic matches the pun.
“Please, it should be obvious how the prisoner rappelled down the side of the jail walls,” said Tom condescendingly.
“But you don’t have the right computer for that game,” Tom said uselessly.
“These look like those paintings on the walls of the private houses in Pompeii.” Said Tom villainously.
“There’s definitely more oxygen than nitrogen in the atmosphere,” Tom said erroneously.
“Extinct birds are what I live for,” said Tom awkwardly
“My grandfather’s ashes are in there,” Tom said sternly.
I saw these somewhere else and had to share…
“I’m a Navy man myself.” said Tom fleetingly.
“I’m not afraid of zombies.” said Tom brainlessly.
“I have a terrible eye for interior design, but for some reason I have a weird knack for picking out the perfect kind of granite to use in kitchens,” said Tom counterintuitively.
“Ugh, I can’t believe there’s no wind today,” said Tom, disgusted.
“I’ll just never be able to walk across hot coals,” said Tom, defeated.