Stupid Senseless Smiley Stories, v. 2008.3
MuseBlog’s preeminent contribution to world culture.
Continued from version 2008.2.
Date: August 20, 2008
Categories: Random craziness
Saturday, 4 May 2024
Life, the universe, pies, hot-pink bunnies, world domination, and everything
MuseBlog’s preeminent contribution to world culture.
Continued from version 2008.2.
Date: August 20, 2008
Categories: Random craziness
Oh goody, a new thread!
No PoPoing!
Why must you be so rude? *runs away*
First post?
Another one?
*Runs away*
*runs back*
i is evil.
what is this, “state the obvious TV show”?
Hi, everyone.
3- Alter Ego alert!
I have my pencils, my paint, my hand, so I’m ready to paint!
But what will you paint?
Uhhh…. I don’t know.
Figures.
Why must everyone hate me? Booohoohoo!!!
You think everyone hates you know? Wait until I zombify you!
Wha…
*zaps*
*poof* Dah duhhhh… *drools*
Ew! *runs away*
Bweheheheheheh…
4- Aww, poor .
Summarization of an email conversation I had with a friend:
(me) *waves purple scarf*
(sam) Now why’d you do that?
I dunno. It just seemed like the appropriate thing to do.
…Ok.
Now I will run around in circles and generally act like a maniac!
… I’m gonna go to bed now.
Darn. Now I have no one to talk to.
I’m back!
Oh goody! Unfortunately I have to leave now.
…
I’m back!
Hi.
*pies*
Why’d you do that?
*shrugs*
*sigh*
I’m bored.
Good for you.
Whoa, wha-? Oh, I get it.
*waves purple scarf*
…
*laughs at ellipses*
The Evil Swim Coach
Hum de tum tum… *practices stroke drill*
YOU THERE!
Who, me?
You’re doing the set completely WRONG! Start over!
But i’ve already done a four-hundred!
No talking during swim time!
But you talked to me first!
DON’T CONTRADICT ME! ARE YOU TRYING TO BE THE COACH?
No, sir, I just…
DON’T TALK BACK TO ME!
Yes, sir… *continues sadly back to the wall to restart her set* *cries*
Dark Knight, Ultra-Condensed… SPOILER, DON’T READ UNLESS YOU’VE SEEN THE MOVIE.
(Joker) Mobsters, you need me.
(Mobsters) Kay.
(Joker) *blows up stuff*
(People of Gotham) Batman, turn yourself in! No, save us! No, turn yourself in! No, save us!
(Rachel) *gets blown up*
(Harvey) *turns bad*
(Batman) I shall stop you!
*lots of things happen*
(Joker) Batman is incorruptable. I give in. Partly because I’m hanging upside-down from a skyscraper.
(Harvey) *almost kills people*
(Batman) Oh no you don’t. *kills Harvey*
(Gordan) Okay, now you have to run from the law and be a tragically misunderstood outlaw, but a hero all the same.
(Batman) … kay.
FIN
this is going to be a stupid story isn’t it?
well it’s called stupid senseless smile stories isn’t it?
i guess.
hey guys what’s going on?
ahhhhhhhhh that guy has no face!!!
neither do I.
rise my minions rise!!!
what?!
what’s with the bunnies?
stupid end
I’ve been skimming the latest developments on some of your role-playing threads. Bloody-minded lot, your species, aren’t they?
At certain developmental stages, yes.
Give free rein to their imaginations, and what do you get? Mayhem! Chaos! Carnage! Utter lack of mercy toward what are clearly designated as other sentient beings. Haven’t the worlds had enough of that?
It’s all part of the process. Are things any different on your equivalent of MuseBlog?
Well… no. Not so different.
We have to have patience and trust that everything is unfolding as it should.
I suppose so. They all have so much to learn — but then, who doesn’t?
9- What are you trying to say?…
9 – Are you implying something?
It’s a good question. What exactly are we trying to say?
We’re not trying to say anything. In fact, the salient point is what we’re trying not to say.
Well put. I suppose one might say that, even if we mislead you about bunnies—
—“we” in this case being broadly inclusive—
—inclusive as to, for example, pigmentation, number of legs used in locomotion, and so on—
—even if we tell only part of the truth—
—you’ll still understand them eventually.
Or not.
Or not. And depending on that understanding, or lack of understanding, you will… will…
Hm.
Hm. Yes. Well, that’s pretty much all we can say at this point.
Yes.
Dude.
12 – Hm? What?
12- *cackles derangedly…*
We now return you to your regular Stupid Senseless Smiley Stories.
*sigh* I didn’t have enough time to complain about how offensive (but true) that is.
12- Bunnies…are…GOOD?!?!?
It’s ANOTHER SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE! CHANGE IS UNNATURAL! RUN! RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!
Dude, quit spazzing. Chill out.
8) That’s it, man. Just go with the flow, you know?
You know it, bro. Totally copasetic.
You don’t UNDERSTAND! The end of the world is eminent!
8) Totally not chilled, man, totally not cool.
This only goes to show how dull television makes the mind of the human race.
8) The world is chill, man, it’s, like, peaced-out, bro.
STOP LIVING IN THE 70’S! BUNNIES ARE SLOWLY TAKING OVER THE WORLD WITH THEIR MIND-TRICKING WAYS! NOW EVERYONE THINKS THEY’RE GOOD, EVEN ROBERT!
Dude, bunnies are hip. Bunnies are chill.
Bunnies. Have. FANGS!
Vampires have fangs, and them vamps are cool, dude. Dude.
8) Dude.
Dude.
*faints*
17- Awwww, me likes the bunnies!
I would like to state, for the record, that Doctor Canix made a sincere attempt to understand the bunnies, before the Titanians showed up and he removed himself from the RPG on grounds of excessive silliness.
I should continue the Adventures of Fred at some point.
19- Yeah, you should.
19 – You should come back to BA!
19- Actually, Dr. Canix could come back at the moment, for it seems the Titianians seemd to have disappeared at the moment. The silliest thing right now are two vampires that don’t feed on humans. (I’m one of them, Juliet is the other.)
22-Yes, that would be nice. We could use more characters, and the plot isn’t really too silly right now, just weird. 19-since when is Leafy squished? Actually, vampires that don’t feed on humans are not really too oxymoronic, it just works better for the movies. There’s no reason why they shouldn’t feed on cows or something.
23- Leafygreen is annoying me right now, so I’m squishing her. Hmph.
The Army Of The Bun-Bun Brothers!!!
2 miles away—
(Dude 1) Duuude! Check out that Corvette!
(Dude 2) WOOOOOWWWW.
(Dude 1) I know, man! A hot pink ‘vette! What will they think of next??
(Dude 2) Ohhhhhh.
(Dude 1) What? What? WHAT??
(Dude 2) Look at that sunset, dude.
(Dude 1) A hot pink sunset!! Duhhhh. Its the middle of the day!
(Dude 2) ?????? Ummm, okkaayy.
(Dude 1) Hey, look! There are little points sticking up from rows and rows of moving….uh-oh.
(Dude 2) What?
(Dude 1) Oh My Bunny!!
(Dude 2) That can’t be good.
(Dude 2) Ahhhhh!!!
(Dudes 1 and 2) Alert! Bun-Bun alert!!! Ready the knockout needle launchers!! Noooo! Atttaacckkk! Fire!! Alert the BunnySCUDS!! Load the Anti-Bunnifying Emergency Syringes! Heeelp!
(Smiley City) AHHHHHHHH!!
(Bun-Bun Army)
Bunnify Bunnify Bunnify Bunnify Bunnify Bunnify Bunnify
(Bun-Bun Brothers) BUNNIFY BUNNIFY!!
(Smiley City) Attaaacckkk!!
TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 2 OF BUN-BUN WARS
24-I see.
Gah!
Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Stop looking at me like that!
*strolls into pratice arena* Uh-oh, *stops dead in tracks*
*destroys practice dummies*
YAH! *chops bunnies head off in one strike*
Ah! *dies*
*kills all of the other bunnies in arena with sword* *doesn’t break a sweat*
Foolish human!
Your right, I am foolish. *kills more*
AHHH!!!!!!! How can this happen?
…
…
I am killing Hot Pink Bunnies, I am a fool.
YOU FO… What?
*kills*
NO HUMAN! NO!!!!!!!!!! *dies*
You will pay for this! *dies*
I am dead meat.
Yes, so you must train.
?
…
I must train so I can postpone my death?
Yes.
…
…
*akward silence*
That was prolly the most pointless, worst SSSS ever.
Um, about 23, I got the numbers mixed up. 22 should be 19, and vice versa. Sorry.
19- If you would mosey on over to the RRSSSS thread, Fred has made an appearance there.
Go Harry Potter!!
(Harry) 8) *studies Marauder’s Map with lighted wand*
(Ron) *sits up in bed* Th-the sp-spiders! They want me to tapdance! I don’t wanna tapdance!!!
(Harry) 8) You tell those spiders, Ron.
(Ron) Yeah, I, I’ll te-tell ’em. *lies back down* *snores*
MissSwann and I laugh soooo hard every time we watch that!!!
more Potter SSSS to be continued….
Masssster, I’m boooored! *drools*
Go terrorize the village idiots.
Yessss, massster…
*later*
*drools* *spots village idiots* *walks over*
(Me+Leafygreen) Whoa. What’s that?
I will eeeeeat your brainsssss…
(Me) Actually, it’s pretty funny! Hahahahaha!
(Leafy) Yeah! It is! Hahahaha!
Why aren’t you scared?! That’s a zombie! You bipeds are supposed to be scared of the undead!
(Me+Leafy) We think it’s funny! Hahahaha!
C’mon, zombie. These village idiots are TOO dumb. *walks off*
Yesss massster.. *drools* *walks off*
(Leafy) Are they gone?
(Me) Yes. Now we can be smart again.
(Leafy) *whew* Glad that’s over with.
33) You ok?
Wow, nobody’s posted on this thread for a while… Hm.
33- Is that a PoPo? Or are you really sad about something?
I’m home alone.
Yes… hehehehehe.
What?
Nevermind. I shall continue to bring joy into your life, for now. *snuggles*
Awwww.
THE SPACE AGE SPECIAL SUPPLIMENT: The Discovery of Pluto
1930:
(Clyde Tombaugh) Okay, so here I am, comparing photographs of stuff in the outer solar system. Lots of little white dots…
*Compares another set of pictures*
More little white dots…
*Moves on to the next set*
And still more little white dots… OMG that one moved!
*Checks to be sure*
It really DID move! It must be Planet X! I have to tell the boss!
*Runs to tell him*
Boss! Boss! Wake up!
Why’s the punk kid waking me up so early? Uh, I mean- Hi, Clyde.
You know, I just heard that.
Heard what?
You called me a punk kid.
No I didn’t.
Yes, you did, I heard you… Anyway, I found Planet X, the planet beyond Neptune that everybody’s been looking for, for like, fifty years!
That’s great news! I’m going to tell the newspapers!
*Calls newspapers*
*Reporters come*
So, these are the pictures that show how I found Planet X with no help from anyone, and why it should totally be named after me.
(Reporter) How come you’re holding the picture upside down, then?
Uh…
*You can guess what happens next*
So, seeing as YOU discovered the planet, Mr. Tombaugh, what do you think it should be called?
I don’t really know. People should send in names and we’ll pick the best one.
In England:
Says here they discovered a new planet. What do you think they should call it?
Well, it’s really dark and cold there, right, Dad? And all the planets are named for Ancient Greco-Roman gods, right?
Yes, weren’t you paying attention in school?
If I didn’t pay attention in school, I wouldn’t be using words like ‘Greco-Roman’. Anyway, the ancients thought the underworld was really dark and cold, and the god of the underworld was Pluto, so they should call it that.
Wow, we sure got a lot of letters suggesting names for new planets.
*Opens a letter, reads*
“Xenia”. Nope.
*Opens another one*
“Mr. Joe’s Planet”. No, just…NO.
*Reads another letter*
“Krypton”? That’s a TERRIBLE name for a planet! Let’s hope the next one is better.
*Reads*
Hmm, “Pluto”. That sounds like a good name.
36- lol…
The world needs saving from the evil HPBs! HELP US!!!!! *arm is chopped off by HPB, destruction is everywhere*
Yeah, and cups can talk!
There’s pies involved
Yeah, like pies make a difference. OMIGOD I JUST SAW THAT CUP TALK! I guess I’ll help than!
I knew you’d come through in the end!
*pies*
Little Yellow Riding Smiley Ultra Condensed Version
(Mom) Little Yellow Riding Smiley!!!!
(LYRS) Yes Mommy?
Take these cookies to Grandmother
K Mommy
Oh yeah, watch out for HPB’s *give LYRS a nuke*
Bybye Mommy!
~To be continued~
39- *gives LYRS a nuke*
Harry Potter, full series ultra condensed.
(Harry) I am a poor, orphan boy with no friends.
(Dumbledore & co.) Harry, you are special!
Yay! I always knew I was different!
No, Harry, that was Voldy’s line.
*various PLOT BUILDING things happen*
(Voldemort) I will kill you, Harry! *doesn’t*
Heehee!
*this happens about four more times*
I am now the even SPECIALER than I was BEFORE! Yayness!
*Voldy takes over the world and a few people die*
Darnit. *shrugs* Oh well. I will be HEROIC and STUPID for hundreds and hundreds of pages! *dies*
I win! I win!
*comes back* No you didn’t! *kills Voldy*
(everybody besides Harry and the Death Eaters) YAY! YOU’RE A HERO, HARRY!!!!!!
*insert cheesy overkill epilogue here*
The End
Little Yellow Riding Smiley Not As Ultra Condensed As I Thought Version
(LYRS) *walks through forest* LALALALA
GIVE ME THE COOKIES GGGRRR
No *explodes with nuke:
Ow *dies*
Yay, violence!!!
~To be continued~
41- I have a bad feeling about LYRS…
42-More explosion to come from Little Yellow Riding Smiley
43- BOOM! BOOM! *world gets blown up* OOPS! SORRY GRANDMA!!!!
36 – PLUTO!!!
Star Wars, VERY Ultra-Condensed:
(Who cares who this is?) Woe is us. We are losing the war.
(Guess who?) I am the CHOSEN ONE!
(Jedi Master with funny name who does things unconventionally) *dies*
(the CHOSEN ONE!) *grows up* *falls in love* *gets married* *becomes evil* *kills all of the Jedi*
(That one lady who isn’t the one with the buns) *falls in love* *gets married* *gets pregnant* *has her heart broken* *dies*
(the CHOSEN ONE!) NOOOO! Now I must be eviler.
APPROXIMATELY TWENTY (or so) YEARS LATER…
(His name rhymes with Suke Lywalker) *blows up Death Star* I’m a JEDI?!?!?!?! My father’s a SITH LORD?!?!?!?! *blows up Death Star 2*
(That OTHER lady in Star Wars who DOES have buns!) *falls in love*
(Indiana Jones!) *falls in love*
THE END.
Oh, right. I forgot:
(Not Darth Sidious) *becomes good*
45- I don’t think I’m going to do one about the Demotion of Pluto. Too many people have already satirized that.
My! Very Educated Morons Just Screwed Numerous Planetariums!
(47) I don’t understand all the fuss over Pluto. Pluto is still there. Only now, instead of being defined as a freakish little object skulking around the outskirts of the planetary club, it’s the innermost member of a huge army of icy planetoids. If one must anthropomorphize celestial bodies, I’d say Pluto would be happier now.
Pluto was once at the bottom of the top, now it’s at the top of the bottom. It all depends on one’s perspective.
Well, gosh. Way to just demote all the planetoids. You’re so racist.
How am I racist? Would you say the dwarf planets are as good as Jupiter, Saturn, and Earth? One of Jupiter’s moons are bigger than Pluto, for gosh sakes!
Ganymede is bigger than Mercury, too, isn’t it? Shouldn’t Mercury become a Dwarf Planet then?
Geez, do you have to be so politically correct? It’s not like planets have feelings! They’re lumps of rock floating around in space!
Pluto: *sniff*
I stand corrected.
You see? Don’t hurt anyone’s feelings!
Shaddup. Go get crushed by a meteor.
Go get sent to Venus and be flattened by the pressure and cooked by the heat.
Go get sent to Jupiter and be ripped by the gravity and frozen by the cold.
Go get vaporized by the sun.
Go get hit by a comet.
Go get hit by a galaxy.
Go get hit by a bigger galaxy.
Go get sucked into a black hole.
That’s it. I’m through with astronomy. You can discover the secrets of the universe yourself. *leaves*
Just don’t forget how huge Uranus is!
49-
I don’t think I could ever do a SSSS like you guys do.
What do you mean?
I mean, they always turn out so funny!
Well, uh thanks.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
*goes away*
Little Yellow Riding Smiley
(LYRS) Yay I’m at Granma’s house!
Hello, darling
YOUR NOT GRANDMA
Yes I am
No your not
yes I am
NoYOURNOT
Yes I am
Oh yeah? (takes out bomb)
STOP RIGHT THERE YOU HOMO SAPIEN OF UNNATURAL HUE!!!!!
3…2…
ehmmm….
(everything blows up)
Yayness!!!
Hey, IBCF! Hurry up and finish your Bunny Invasion movie!
IBCF: Sorry, I can’t. I have to do my English homework first.
Then what are you doing now?
IBCF: I dunno.
You lazy bum! Why don’t you do your work?
IBCF: You know, it might be in your best interest not to insult the writer of this SSSS.
Why is that?
*abruptly appears*
Hehe. I see. Carry on.
HO! you didn’t forget me because I was green, did you?
n-n-no
all of you disgust me AH HA HA HA HA
Eragon: Well, I guess I’ll make a SSSS.
It won’t be very funny, your’s never are.
Eragon: Hey!! You’re MEAN!! I’m gonna tell my mommy on you!
Oops.
Eragon: WAHHH! MOMMY!
Uh-oh. Shouldn’t have done that…
Eragon: Y’see, my mom is a bodybuilder. She was in the Olympics.
OH NOOOO. AW CAKE!
:angry: Have you been dissing my boy? Shame on you!
Oops. Won’t happen again. *that little… went an told his mom…
:angry: I heard that!
How did you hear my thoughts?!
ESP.
Ohhh.
DIE!!
Everyone: Uh-oh. To Maybe Be Continued
Setting: a classroom of smilies. The teacher is out sick, and the substitute has just walked into the room.
: Hello, I’m your substitute today, due to your teacher’s unexpected sickness (coughcoughbunnificationcoughcough). Today, we will learn about bunnification. I need a volunteer. How about the smiley with the sunglasses?
: Sure. My name’s Bob, by the way.
:::::::::::::::::
: WHAT DID YOU DO TO BOB?
:This.
::::::::::::::::::
: Mwahaha! Together we will rule the world!
Anyone can write a sequel if they want.
55 – Um.
You have a lot of homework, Kokonilly. Why are you here?
I’m SORRY! But I just need to go on one more thread…
NO!
FINE then!
Being the obsessive sort of person that I am, I wrote another condensation of Sweeney Todd, as told by Tim Burton.
:grin: (anthony) I like London!
:neutral: (sweeney) Nastybad London.
 (anthony) Are you ok?
 (sweeney) Sure. Just thinking vengeful thoughts and brooding.
 (anthony) Well… bye then.
:neutral: (sweeney) *goes into Mrs. Lovett’s Meat Pie shop*
 (mrs. lovett) Gak! A customer! Try one of my very icky pies!
:neutral: (sweeney) Eurgh.
 (mrs. lovett) *recognizes Sweeney*
 (sweeney) I will have my revenge against Judge Turpin and his accomplices!
:smile: (mrs. lovett) I luuuuuurve, you, Sweeney!
*
:sad: (johanna) Wah! I’m locked up with nothing to do but sing and sit moodily by my window.
 (anthony) So… Pretty…
 (judge turpin) No! Bad Anthony!
 (the beadle) Heh. *beats up Anthony*
 (anthony) So… Pretty…
*
 (toby) I’m an abused assistant!
 (signor pirelli) I am-a a very-a concieted-a barber with a bad-a accent-a!
 (sweeney) You are a fraud. *proposes contest in a blatantly obvious attempt to win customers*
:razz: (signor pirelli) Ha!
 (the beadle) *judges shaving contest*
 (sweeney) *wins shaving contest against Signor Pirelli*
:razz: (signor pirelli) Darn. Go away.
:neutral: (sweeney) *to the beadle* How ’bout a free shave sometime?
*
 (sweeney) I am impatient!
 (mrs. lovett) Be patient!
 (sweeney) …
*
 (signor pirelli) (to sweeney) I will blackmail you!
 (sweeney) *kills Signor Pirelli*
*
 (judge turpin) I will marry Johanna!
 (the beadle) You should probably shave first.
:neutral: (sweeney) I will now have my revenge! I will drag it out, so as to enjoy it more!
 (anthony) *bursts in, thus ruining Sweeney’s revenge*
 (judge turpin) Goodbye!
 (sweeney)–>  GO AWAY!
 (mrs. lovett) ???
 (sweeney) We all deserve to die! –>
 (mrs. lovett) Yeah, that’s great Sweeney. But what about Signor Pirelli’s body?
 (sweeney) We’ll bury him!
:smile: (mrs. lovett) Or…
:twisted: (sweeney) ?
:smile: (mrs. lovett) I could cook him in my pies!
 (sweeney) …Sounds good!
*
 (sweeney) *kills a bunch of people*
 (judge turpin) *gets mad at johanna and sends her to Fogg’s Asylum*
:shock: (anthony) –>  Johanna!
 (beggar woman) Mrs. Lovett’s a bad lady!
*
 (toby) MMMM, good pies!
 (mrs. lovett) Lots of them!
 (beggar woman) Bad! Very bad!
 (toby) Sod off.
*
 (mrs. lovett) I luuuuuuurve you, Sweeney!
 (sweeney) Please stop kissing me.
*
 (toby) Mrs. Lovett, I’m scared of Sweeney because I’m the only one in this play with any common sense.
 (mrs. lovett) Don’t be silly, he’s perfectly harmless! *locks Toby in cellar*
 (toby) …
*
:eek: (the beadle) I’m here to investigate the strange and slightly eerie black smoke pouring from the chimney.
 (sweeney) How bout a shave? *kills the beadle*
 (toby) AAAAH A DEAD BODY JUST FELL IN THROUGH THE ROOF!!!!! *escapes into sewers*
 (sweeney) *goes to the cellar with Mrs. Lovett to get rid of Toby*
 (mrs. lovett) Cake, he’s gone!
*
 (anthony) *rescues Johanna and makes her hide in Sweeney’s shop while he gets a carriage*
 (johanna) … *hides in trunk*
*
 (beggar woman) Sweeney, Mrs. Lovett’s a bad woman!
:twisted: (sweeney) … *kills beggar woman*
 (johanna) AAAAAAAH! *escapes*
*
 (mrs. lovett) (in cellar) AAH! … *sees beggar woman* Uh-oh.
 (sweeney) What happened?
:smile: (mrs. lovett) Judge Turpin was not yet dead.
 (sweeney) Ah. Open the oven!
:smile: (mrs. lovett) Um…
 (sweeney) OPEN THE OVEN!!!!!
 (mrs. lovett) *opens the oven*
 (sweeney) *realizes beggar woman was his wife Lucy* …
 (mrs. lovett) Uh-oh.
 (sweeney) YOU TOLD ME SHE WAS DEAD!
:smile: (mrs. lovett) No I didn’t.
 (sweeney) –>  YOU DID!
 (mrs. lovett) Well, alright, but I did it so you wouldn’t have to know she was barking mad!
 (sweeney) …Ok. I luuuurve you, Mrs. Lovett!
 (mrs. lovett) Really?
 (sweeney) No. *throws Mrs. Lovett in oven*
:cool: (toby) *kills Sweeney*

The End.
cake, a bunch of the smileys are all messed up.
57: I just watched that movie online last night…..not that impressed. I mean, I’m not much for musicals, and that was like all it was–constant singing. Although I did enjoy the actress who played Mrs. Lovett, but only cuz she looks exactly the same as her role as Bellatrix Lestrange…..And the whole Rickman w/ Spall as servant, kept making me think of the (hopefully) upcoming scene in HBP, w/ Snape with Wormtail as servant…..And the blood in the movie? It so didn’t look like real blood at all. And I do like stories with happy endings, instead of oh, let’s kill everybody.
And Lady Bunniful, you commented about Rickman’s looks in Truly, Madly, Deeply–and I watched that online yesterday, too….wish I hadn’t, it was so depressing…..it was all i could do not to cry (and for the record, movies/books do not normally make me cry).
And this is getting really off topic, so i’m going to return to writing the cover letter for my job app
57-
Wow.
That was confusing.
I’ve never seen Sweeney Todd.
It looks cool!
No it doesn’t. It looks gruesome.
And confusing.
Be quiet.
So much death…
I want to see it!!!
I’m confused…
THUS CONCLUDES THIS SENSELESS DIALOGUE.
Of Mice And Men ( I had to read this in English)
(George) Lennie, this is our big chance. Don’t be stupid.
(Lennie) I love to pet things.
(Lennie kills stuff by accident. George shoots his dog.)
THE END
CONDENSATION OF HORNBLOWER MOVIES: ONE: THE DUEL
Little words on the screen: Everything’s boring. Everyone in the Navy is bored.
(Hornblower): -comes aboard- Eurgh. -is seasick-
x? (midshipmen): HAHAHAHA.
(Clayton): I’m nice.
(Archie): So am I.
(Simpson): I’m a tyrant. -beats up Hornblower-
(Archie): -is terrified- -has a fit-
(Hornblower): I’m scared of heights. And growing suicidal. Someone should stand up to Simpson.
(Clayton): Be careful. He’s dangerous.
(Simpson): You cheated at cards!
(Hornblower): Take is back.
(Simpson) No.
(Hornblower): Well then. A duel.
(Clayton): -hits Hornblower over the head with a belaying pin- -goes off to meet Simpson- Hornblower had an accident. I’ll fight you instead.
(Clayton and Simpson): -shoot each other-
(Clayton): -dies-
(Hornblower): Noooo!
(Archie): Guess what! It’s war! We’re transferring to a frigate!
Later:
(Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the frigate Indefatigable): Well, Mr. Hornblower, you’ve cost us two men already with your silly duel. No more dueling for you!
(Hornblower): Yes, sir.
(Captain Pellew): Here are some men to discipline.
(Hornblower): -disciplines-
(Captain Pellew): Mr. Hornblower, take this French supply ship that we captured to England, if you please.
(Hornblower): Yes, sir!
TO BE CONTINUED.
(59) Sorry, Luna, I didn’t remember it was sad, but years have passed since I saw it. I don’t usually cry over movies either, except specific kinds of happy endings.
63–s’okay. I’m over it now. I think doing school nearly constantly, staying up til midnight or one, and then getting up at 8:30 is making me overly emotional…..heh, like I was all school year at home (and yes, I know I had it easy then compared to public school kids. didn’t have to get up til 8).
CONT. FROM 62:
x8 (Crew of the prize ship): -are drunk-
(Captain of the prize ship): This is an outrage! ((Heheh. Just had to put that in there. If you don’t get it, don’t worry. –Ed.)) We could easily make France, and yet you insist on going to England.
(Hornblower): Wait! When we captured the ship, we put a cannonball through the hull! She’s taking water! -patches hole-
(One of Hornblower’s crew (Stiles, I think)): Hey, why’s the deck cracking like that?
(French captain): The rice we’re carrying got wet and is expanding. The ship is sinking!!!
Later, in a tiny little lifeboat:
x9 (French crew and captain): -mutiny- Now we’re going to France! Mwahaha!
(Hornblower): But you can’t have the compass! -throws compass overboard-
(Captain): Who needs a compass anyway?
(Hornblower) (To his crew): Don’t worry. Our position on the chart was wrong when I gave it to him.
-they get picked up by the Indefatigable-
-there’s a battle between the French ship Papillon and the English ship Justinian, which is the one Hornblower was on in the beginning. The Indefatigable attempts to chase down the Papillon but loses that battle, and goes back to pick up survivors-
(Simpson): Well, if it isn’t Mr. Hornblower.
Later:
(Captain Pellew): Mr. Kennedy ((Known to the readers of this condensation as Archie. –Ed.)), Mr Hornblower, and Mr Simpson will sneak in as part of our surprise attack on the Papillon. Their job is to do something which requires going out on what may be the yardarm, which I know very well but the writer of this story does not.
Later, in the dark, in a boat, snaking up on the Papillon:
(Archie): -has fit- ((In case you didn’t realize by now, he has them because he’s scared of Simpson. FYI. –Ed.))
(Hornblower) -whacks him over the head to keep him quiet-
-they sneak on board the Papillon (except Archie, who’s lying unconscious in the boat, if you’ll recall), and the book has this great bit about the clashing of swords sounding like a tinker mending a pot, and how it’s not very poetic at all and all that, plus some other stuff from the book that’s also great, but of course got cut out in the movie to make room for plot complications, of which the book has practically none, in fact everything that’s happened so far is just a bunch of short stories smooshed together, with a bunch of characters substituted for one another, like Kennedy who actually only comes in once in MMH but plays a much larger part in Lieutenant Hornblower, and I’ll stop rambling now and get back to the story-
(Hornblower): Ohmigosh, the yardarm-type thing I have to walk out on doesn’t have any footropes! And I don’t like heights!
-does it anyway-
(Simpson): -cuts the boat rope away, causing Archie to drift mysteriously off into the night, never to be seen again- -shoots Hornblower, who’s up in the rigging-
(Hornblower): Ow. -falls-
(Finch): -jumps after Hornblower-
(Simpson): Hornblower is dead, Mr. Eccleston ((Eccleston is the lieutenant who was in charge of this attack. –Ed.))
TO BE CONTINUED.
65- Who’s Ed?
66- Editor. AKA me.
Later:
-something happens involving their getting shot at, Mr Eccleston being killed, and Hornblower (who was saved by Finch, so isn’t dead after all) taking command of the ship and imprisoning Simpson-
(Hornblower): Oh no, the Indefatigable is being attacked by three French ships! Attack!
(Mr. Bracegirdle…?): Why aren’t they firing at us?
(Hornblower): We’re still flying French colors. But don’t take them down.
-they win the battle by firing into the other ship’s magazine and it exploding most dramatically in a burst of flame-
Later:
(Hornblower) I maintain that Mr Simpson shot at me.
(Simpson): Well, then, I challenge thee to a duel! … Ha, you’re too chicken to accept haha!
(Captain Pellew) You have permission to accept this challenge, Mr Hornblower.
(Hornblower) OK, then, I will.
Later:
-they duel-
-Simpson fires early and wounds Hornblower-
(Someone or other): You have permission to fire at will, Mr Hornblower.
(Simpson) DON’T SHOOT!
-agonizing moment of unbearable suspense in which Simpson pleads for his life and Hornblower looks angry and sort of like he’s about to cry-
(Hornblower) -fires into the air- You’re not worth the powder. -turns away-
-Simpson raises a knife and attempts to stab Hornblower in the back, but is shot by Captain Pellew-
(Captain Pellew) OK, don’t duel anymore.
-something profound is said by someone-
THE END.
Percy Jackson books
Percy: Cool !!! I have superpowers!!!!
Annabeth: whatever. Lets go on a quest.
Kronos: HAHAHA!!! You’re mine!!!!!
Tyson: I will help percy!!!!
(percy lives although everything goes wrong)
THE END
Wow, lots of people have been condensing things.
This is great! I don’t even have to read these books for school now!
Whatever.
–> Oh sure, just kill my vibe. Go ahead.
Dude.
Oh, no, who let HIM in?
Dude.
He says it wast the security guard.
We don’t HAVE security guards here. It’s McDonalds, for Pete’s sake.
Oh.
Dude.
He says it must have been an FBI agent, then.
AH! *throws hands up in the air and leaves*
You can’t through your hands up in the air! You don’t have any!
Hi! I’m a terrorist and I HAF A BOMB!!!
–> Oh noes!
…
Our doom is upon us!!
…Dude?
What?
He wants to know if you’d like a burger.
–> Yes, please.
Dude. *gives burger*
Yum.
–> *takes bomb surreptitiously*
(the Author) Hm, I was going to say something profound, but it seems to have slipped my mind.
The End
SSSS In Which I am a Total Jerk.
(sings) Stand in the rain…
*sings* Stand your ground…
*sings* Stand up!
*sings* When it all comes crashing down…
*sings* HEY HEY YOU YOU!!!!!
*sings* I DON’T LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND!!
Why are you-
WERE NOT ,YOU ARE!
Avril….. Lavigne ……Rocks…
(me) Well no duh!
*sings* SHE’S LIKE SO WATEVA’-
(me) Twig, eliminate them.
(Twig)Humphff, your always bossing me around.
(me) This is my SSSS so I can do wateva’ I want
Oh yeah *throws down gun* I quit!
(me) You can’t quit!
I just did!
Yay Twig, we didn’t think you had the guts!
*bomb explodes*
(me) Twig, dispose of these dead bodies!
(Twig) *shoots with pazooka*
(me) Ow.
GAPAs coul you fix the :confused: smiley thanks.
THE ADVENTURES OF MUSHROOM GIRL and her sidekick FAIRY CIRCLE
In their lair in a tree trunk..
MG: (sighs) You know, no crime has been committed in the forest lately. It’s been boring.
FC: (is prancing around) what? oh, yeah, no crimes.
MG: I wish we had something to do.
FC: (Examining self in mirror) I’m content looking at myself and performing unnecessary touch ups to my appearance. You’re so hard to please, you know that, Mushy?
MG:DON’T CALL ME MUSHY!! And anyway, watching you get pretty for no reason isn’t fun, did you know that???
FC: (is too absorbed in self to notice Mushroom Girl)
MG: I’m going to get some apple rolls. Do you want any?
FC: huh?
MG: DO YOU WANT FOOD!!??
FC: Don’t be silly, you know I’m not eating anything this week, I’m slimming!
MG: whatever (leaves)
Mushroom girl did not return for several hours, but Fairy Circle didn’t notice, she was busy trying on dresses.
Meanwhile, mushroom girl was having a wild party with some squirrels. Mushroom Girl decided to abandon her sidekick and live with the squirrels. Fairy Circle didn’t care.
Dude.
Dude.
Dude, I’m like bored.
Wanna know what’s in my shampoo?
Like, ya dude.
Ammonium lauryl sulfate, Carbomer..
Like, dude, did you say *whimpers* Car bomber?
No, I said-
CAR BOMBER! LIKE EVERYONE LIKE RUN!!!
x 5 Car bomber?
Geez Louise, theres no car bomber.
( Car bomber) Wanna bet?!?
x 7 OH MY KOKO..
*blows up up car*
My Mercedes!
Wow,our author must be an idiot.
(RK) Hey! I am not an idoit! *hits with baseball bat*
Ow. *falls over*
(RK)Hmmphff, that’s what you get for ruining my Mercedes.
A true story of what happened during Quinn’s volleyball game after school last Thursday, while I was diligently watching my sister’s game doing my homework:
(the health textbook) Write a paragraph using the terms “health” “wellness” and “health education”.
(me) Bleh, homework… Wait… ANY paragraph?
Yup ((no, the book did not actually talk to me, promise)).
–> A LOOPHOLE!!!
Yup.
Yay! *writes* Sometimes, when We decide to do what the textbooks tell us to do, and struggle to maintain a balanced level of physical, mental and emotional, and social well-being in order to achieve HEALTH, it becomes necessary to avoid oddly colored rodents, no matter how cute ‘n’ cuddly they may be. Of course, we try to do that anyway, so… *continues to write*
(Annie, Quinn’s friend) That’s your HOMEWORK???
I LOVE HEALTH!!!
…
Except, you know, the health part.
The End
And, oh yeah, they lost the game.
A very stupid SSSS.
Setting-Burger King Drive-thru
((This might be inaccurate since I never go to Burger King.))
(Burger King dude) *drawls* Welcome to Burger King how may I help you?
(dude ordering who is a hpb in disguise) I’d like 5 burgers, all with extra cheese and 7 large fries.
Man, why are you getting so much food?
That’s, like, personal, dude.
Oh, yeah? Well you’re gonna get a heart attack and die cause you eat so much!
DON’T YOU TALK ABOUT ME LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!
I’LL DO WHATEVER I WANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
*poof*
MWA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i AM AN HPB!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYBODY RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dun dun dun……
SSHPB Variations:
1. The Incredible HPBulk
Must…not…transform. Must…not…turn pink…
2. Jurassic Pink
Using blood cells from the stomachs of Mesozoic fleas, I’ve resurrected ancient feral bunnies, but we can safely observe them inside their heavily fortified, escape-proof enclosure.
GHGHGHGHGH! SQUEE! ROAR!
You see? Perfectly safe.
3. Pink Twilight
Must…resist…
Oh, Edward, I wish you would bunnify me so we could be together forever.*
[*NOTE: Bella is misinformed. Rabbits live only a few years and are highly prone to heart failure.]
4. James Bunnd
Good evening, Mr. Bond. Won’t you join me in a glass of wine? It’s an excellent vintage. You needn’t worry about poison. It is not in my interest to eliminate you at this stage of our acquaintance.
Somebody should have mentioned that to your little friends back there.
A regrettable error. You see, I have other plans for you.
5. Star Wars: The Bunnies Strike Back
Join me, Luke Skywalker. Come over to the pink side of the Force.
Join you? Never! You killed my father!
I am your father, Luke.
Now, that’s just silly.
*twisted* Ha ha HPBs! You are no match for my zombie army
*mrgreen* *mrgreen* HOOOOOMAAAAAAAN FLEEEEEEEESH!
*idea* What are they saying? Human flesh?
*???* Yes. Ummm.. Why?
*idea* You just made a fatal error, there sir. Look at where the zombies are going.
*mrgreen* *mrgreen* HOOOOOMAAAAAAAN FLEEEEEEEESH!
*eek* What…. Why are they attacking me? AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
*idea* You made them hungry for HUMAN flesh. I am not human, but YOU are! MWWWWWAAAAAHHHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
*mad* Drat!
78- Your smileys should be a colon (:) the word (grin) then another colon (:). Like this, without the spaces-
:
grin
:
And remember, no spaces between the symbols! Also, two other smileys- press the Alt key and hit 1 on the NUMBER PAD. That creates ☺. For the other, do same thing but with a two. ☻If you want to do a lot of smileys in a row, put double spaces between each smiley. spacespace
77 –
YESTERDAY AT SCHOOL…
(My debate coach) Now, to dress code for tournaments. Guys would wear a collared shirt with a tie. And some slacks that aren’t jeans. Now, let’s see… *looks around room* Omar.
(Omar) *walks up to the front of the room*
You see, Omar is wearing a collared shirt and jeans. If he had a tie and… Samantha’s pants… he would be perfect for a tournament.
(me) *is wearing cargo pants*
(rest of the room) *laughing their heads off*
This is an ultracondensation of Deathwatch, the book my English class is reading.
Characters:
and : Madec, The Evil, Twisted, Psycho Bighorn Sheep Hunter
The other smiley: Ben, The Honest, Law-Abiding Citizen Who Madec Hired As A Guide To Help Him Hunt Sheep in The Desert
(Madec and Ben are hunting sheep in the desert. Madec sees something move between two rocks and shoots at it.)
: *goes to see what he shot* Cake, I missed. Let’s go find another sheep.
: *looks at what Madec shot* No, you shot an old, Mostly Harmless prospector. We’d better report this to the sheriff.
: Well, I guess I’m in trouble now, aren’t I? I suppose the only way out of this is to make it look like you did it. Then I’ll leave you out to die in the desert without clothes, food, or water so you can’t say anything to the contrary. And I’ll be following you with my gun, just in case you live. *does all of that*
: Oh dear.
81- Oh dear indeed.
81- Reminds me of…
THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME:
That’s a bad island.
(MC) I’m not superstitious, so I don’t care. Aren’t you excited to go hunting? -falls overboard- -washes up on island-
(MC) Gosh, this is a problem. Look, a house!
(EV) Hello. Here are some clothes and food. Now I will tell you stories about my amazing hunts. I was so good at it that I got bored. Now I like to hunt more dangerous game. -smile- Like humans. You’re my new quarry.
(MC) Oh dear. -runs- -outwits- -kills EV- Um…hunting isn’t so fun for the quarry.
Which in turn reminds me of (only ’cause we read it in the same class):
THE NECKLACE
(MC) -sigh- Oh, I’m so sad I’m poor and I never get to go to balls.
(MC’s husband) Look, darling, I got you an invitation to a ball!
(MC) But I don’t have any jewels!
…Borrow some!
(MC) -does so- -has fun at ball-
(MC) Oh no! What happened to the diamond necklace! I lost it! And now, instead of ‘fessing up to my friend, we’re going to buy her a different one! Even though we’ll be working in poverty for another twenty years just to pay it off!
-many years later-
(MC’s friend) -sees MC in the park- My dear, what a drop in station you have suffered? Whatever happened?
(MC) -tells story-
(MC’s friend): But that necklace…it was only paste!
After that, I always imagined that the friend gave back the really truly diamond necklace and they sold it and weren’t so poor anymore, but that’s not necessarily what happened.
83- We read those in english too! And then we had to write essays on them…
84- We didn’t have to write any essays. Thank goodness. The Honors students might have, but I wasn’t in Honors ’till second semester.
THE LADY AND THE TIGER
(King) You have been caught making love to my daughter! You shall now be subject to the most hideous punishment in the land!
(Person) What’s that?
(King) You get to open one of two closed doors. One has a tiger that eats you, and the other has a beautiful lady that you immediatly get married to.
(Person) But… the princess… I love her!
(King) To bad. You’re being punished, remember?
(Princess) *finds out which door is which*
LATER
(Person) Ack! Which door do I pick? Either one leads to my doom!
(Princes) *twitches finger to right*
(Person) *opens door*
(Narrator) So, was it the lady or the tiger? I’m going to leave you with that question so it torments you for the rest of your days!
Mwhahahahaha
86- Oh, that’s cruel.
SOCCER PRACTICE- SCRIMMAGE
(Person) I gotta get this goal! *shoots* *misses*
(Me) So close, but so far away…
(Person) Yeah, so far away…
(Me) Yeah, a couple inches!!! HOW COULD YOU MISS THAT?! *shakes (now ) violently*
INDIANA JONES!
Lost Ark.-
(Indy) *runs into clearing*
(Swordguy) *does fancy stuff with sword*
(Indy) I have no time for this. *shoots the guy with gun*
(swordguy) *dies*
(crowd) YAAAY!!!
Temple of Doom.-
(Indy) *runs across bridge*
(swordguys) *does fancy stuff with swords*
(Indy) I have no time for this. *reaches into gun pouch* *notices gun isn’t there* Ehhehehheh… *runs*
Those two scenes just crack me up!
77-You forgot Hairy Pinker.
Ugh, my parents are dead and life sucks.
*in the form of Voldemort, bad stuff happens*
*is amazingly selfless and angsty, which is just what happens when your parents are dead because of the main villain and you grow up will grumpy people and suddenly find out you’re magical and– SPLAT!*
Loosely based on a Garfield comic. Starring Mr. Joe and Bob The Smiley.
: *is reading a book called “Scary HPB Stories To Tell In The Pink”*
: *shaking Bob* Bob! Bob!
: AAAAHHH!!! THE BUNNIES ARE HERE AND THEY WANT ME!!! *Runs around panicking, then sees it’s only Mr. Joe*
: Mr. Joe, do not do that ever again. If you want something, just tap me lightly on the shoulder. *resumes reading*
(Mr. Joe wearing an HPB mask) : *taps Bob lightly on shoulder*
La Francais SSSS
Bonjour, J’mapelle Monsieur Joe.
Enchante’e, J’mapelle Grin et je n’aime tu.
WAAAHHHH , je deteste tu!
Maise tete!
Fromage tete!!
Bonjour
Aiuto!
91- persnickety french note: you can say ‘Je te déteste’ to make it better sounding. J’adore le fromage aussi!
Teacher- (She is always fakely happy.)
My Friend-All other smilies.
*waits for Teacher to finish directions*
…and if you have a work update signed, please give it to me. *finishes directions*
Here’s my work update, Mrs. Teacher.
Oh, wonderful! Thank you!
10 SECONDS LATER
Blah, blah, and Friend still need to turn in their work updates!
*grumble grumble grumble* *walks up to teacher*
I just gave it to you Mrs. Teacher.
Oh, really? *looks through papers for a while* Oh, here it is! You’re all set!!
*Thanks. *grumble grumble*
This really happened. My teacher is a space cadet.
At The Haunted House
(other people) Oh boy! A haunted house!
Right. Fun.
BOO! I am a scary ghost!!!!
Yawn.
ARGH! I am an undead pirate!!!!
Boring.
Hi there! I’m your biology teacher!
AAAAAAH! KNOWLEDGE! *runs away screaming*
Condensation of The Mysterious Benedict Society
We are all orphans that just passed a load of tests to get special priveliges
Your special priveliges are to stop this evil guy from brainwashing everyone
Various things happen
now my machine can brainwash anyone
(one of the orphans) I’m a really stubborn 3 year old that can resist brainwashing and confuzzle your machine
NO!!!!!!!! *runs away with sidekicks*
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oops! I forgot the new double spacing between smileys rule, so just pretend it worked okay?
P.S. sorry for double post!
Guy1 Hey, I flushed you favorite comic book down the toilet!
Guy2 That’s okay I read that book enough already.
Guy1 So what am I supposed to do with this evil expression?
Guy2 I love making you confused! Ha ha ha!
Very nice, Willy……. reminds me of Erny……
Don’t worry, I’ll just be following you around for the next week or so to see what you do.
Condensation of Ender’s game
SPOILER WARNING ENDER’S GAME SPOILER WARNING ENDER’S GAME SPOILER WARNING.
I am an illegal third child who is probably the smartest kid in the world
I am your evil brother who has been plotting to kill you all my life
(characters are 6 years old)
Yayness. even though I am a third. I was accepted into a battle school for kids to be a commandr to fight off aliens
I am the best in my class. We have laser fights in zero grav. I was made a commander of one of the laser teams.
The teachers are putting to much pressure on me and are giving other teams unfair advantages. Nothing matters to me anymore.
I just stopped a huge war, and my brothers slowly killing people
I didn’t want to kill them. it was self defense. I was just promoted and now a war hero is making me play a video game simulation of the alien war.
What do you mean it wasn’t a simulation!!!!!!!! I didn’t want to kill those aliens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(the aliens died, and everything is almost happily ever after after Ender’s sister cheers him up)
100’th comment! WOOT!
((PoPo…?))
THE DEVIL AND TOM WALKER
(Tom) Oh, I’m going to take a shortcut home through a creepy swamp!
(Devil) *appears* Hello. I will give you treasure if you give me your soul.
Meh. Let me think about it.
*at home*
Hello, wife! I saw the devil in the swamp today! He offered me riches!
(Wife) And you DIDN’T ACCEPT??? I’m going to go there myself! *leaves*
*days pass*
My wife has not returned. She took all my valuables. I NEED those valuables! *goes to swamp*
*finds wife’s heart and liver in tree* Ew.
*appears* So, have you thought enough?
Yes, and I’ll do it.
Good… There’s a catch. You have to become a money-lender.
No biggie. I’ll become even more rich that way!
Here’s the treasure.
*moves to city* *swindles people out of money* Oh, no! I don’t want to go to hell! *goes to church*
(Poor Farmer) Will you give me some money?
The devil take me if I don’t!
*appears* It’s time to go!
Drat.
Hmmm. That was sort of long. OK, here’s another one.
THE FALL OF THE HOUSE OF USHER
Hmmm. This house is creepy. Oh, well, I have to go in anyway to help my friend.
I have a strange mental condition!
OK…
It’s probably because my sister’s dying.
Oh. I’m so sorry.
*both do some random things like singing, reading, and painting*
Bad news. My sister died. Help me put her in the basement so the doctors don’t dissect her.
OK!
*later*
Oooooh it’s a scary storm.
*barges in* BAAAA! I’m so crazy!
Here, let me read you a story!
*various sound effects from the story actually happen*
OK, now I’m really freaked out.
Don’t you get it ?!?!?!? That’s my sister! We buried her ALIVE!!!!
*bursts through wall, dies at ‘s feet*
AAAAHH! Too creepy! I’m leaving.
* leaves, watches house collapse*
Hmm. I guess I have to tell the world about this now.
Freaky Random Stuff Part 1
Pink is a wonderfullllllll coollllloooorrr
I will eat you bleh bleh bleH
Oh no. Help. Au secour!
(French Vampire) Bonjour, I shall suck your blood.
Oh -no-Help-Au…..
I will save you! Here’s a llama there’s a fuzzy little llama llama..
No- I’m doomed
Oh insanity, well ,get ready for part two. Oh joy.
Haha! We will take over the SSSS thread!
Dude, nobody cares.
Huh?
Yeah. You’re obviously just doing this for attention. Just stop, because nobody really cares.
Why not?
Because it’s not cool to do anything silly or random on this blog. You have to be serious, or you’ll be shunned and alienated. Silly fun is for immature people and n00bs. But it’s cool to talk about sex, hot topics, and how crappy your life is.
Um…
And stop throwing pies. Pies are for babies. Stabbing is better.
Shut up. I hate you.
Strong emotions are for n00bs. Newbie.
*dies in shame*
104-ha ha ha!!
MY FIRST SSSS, REVISED SO IT ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE
Setting: a classroom of smilies. The teacher is out sick, and the substitute has just walked into the room.
: Hello, class. Due to your teacher’s unexpected sickness *coughcoughzombificationcoughcough*, I am your substitute today. I will teach you about zombification. I need a volunteer. How about the cool smiley in the back row?
: *bounds up to teacher talking in fake annoying voice* Sure! That would be fantastic! I can’t express my gratitude enough for giving me this amazing learning experience! Now we can all have fun learning together! Won’t that be great?
: *roll on floor laughing*
: Silence! Your antics are not appreciated. Now, look deep into my eyes and relax. Let me probe into your mind…
::::::::::::
: WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?!?!?!
: This.
::::::::::::
: Now, go and find me some more smilies to zombify.
: Yes…master…whatever…you…say… *leave*
: Well, that was a productive lesson.
THE END
Random question: Why do you type in “idea” to make an HPB smilie? Why not something like :hpb: or :bunny: ?
Oh, it didn’t work. Why is the spacing all messed up?
(107) Is that better?
A MONOLOUGE BY FOZZIE BEAR!
(Kermit) Okay, time once again for that furry funny man, the fabulous free wheeling and frantic FOZZIE BEAR!
*music*
(Fozzie) Hey hey hey, wait wait wait wait, froggy, not so fast! Tonight, I am going to use your assitance!
What?
Yes sir, you and I are going to tell the world’s funniest joke! This is all spontaneous, unrehearsed, right, froggy?
Yes, it’s unreahearsed, yes…
Okay okay, now, frog of my heart, YOU just wait until I say the word “hear.” When you hear me say the word “hear,” you will rush up to me and say, “Good grief, the comedians a bear!”
Good grief, the comedian’s a bear!
Check!
When you say the word here.
Right! OKay, now then, hiya hiya hiya! You’re a wonderful lookin’ audience, it’s a pleasure to be here-
Good grief, the comedian’s a bear!
Not yet!
But you said here.
That was the wrong here!
Which is the right here?!
The other here! Hgh, gogogo. *turns into * Hey, folks! This is a story you guys’ll love to hear-
Good grief! The comedian’s a bear!
WILL YOU STOP THAT?!
BUT YOU SAID HERE!
NOT THAT HERE!
WELL WHICH HERE?!
ANOTHER HERE!
HOW AM I GONNA KNOW?!
YOU’LL KNOW WHEN YOU HEAR!
Good grief, the comedian’s a bear!
NANEEURGH! Alright, listen, you will know when I POINT to you! Alright, don’t grumble! *clears thraot* *turns into * Hey, a funny thing happened to me on the way to the theater. At the stage door, I pass a bunch of Muppet fans, and suddenly I hear- *points*
Good grief, the comedian’s a bear.
No, he’s ah not! He’s wearin’ a neckertie! *laughs*
*music*
It sounds way better if you look it up. Seriously. Do.
106- Sometime in the past, (AKA before I was here) there was a lightbulb emoticon. To make it appear musebloggers typed in : idea : . One day, the all-powerful GAPAs decided to make MuseBlog unique among other blogs of this format and change the lightbulb to an HPB.
110- It’s still happening on the loverly Muse Academy blog, though (See “A Thread Worshipping Lightbulbs.”).
62/65/68~ I love it! (Yes, he had to go out to the yardarm. you got it all right.)
77~ Why are you so good at this???? *is dying laughing*
Oh man, I need to et back into the swing of writing these…..I loved them.
: What do you know about cell phones?
:They’re useless.
:confused: : Really? How so?
: I can control your mind without the use of pathetic electronic devices. *controls mind*
:Yessssss maaaaaasssssssster. *zombie walk away*
: Heh, perfect.
Hmm, I definitely need to get back into practice.
THE OVAL PORTRAIT
Gah, I am hurt. I will spend the night in this house with lots of paintings and read about them.
*reads for hours*
Say, what’s that oval portrait over there? I’ll read about it.
*Story mode!*
I will paint a picture of my wife!
OK, whatever makes you happy.
Yay, almost done!
I’m dying over here!
Wow this is beautiful! Life itself!
*turns*
Oh, no, my wife is dead! WAAAH!!!
(Me) I’ve been sad and grouchy lately. Life sucks!
Hiya, Zinc!
Go away.
Aw, what the matter?
Everything.
It’s gonna be all right.
No it won’t. Go away, nut case.
Whatever you say! *leaves*
*minutes later*
I shouldn’t have been so mean. I’m such a bad person! I wish I’d just DIE! *bangs head against wall*
114~ *hugs* Awww.
(me) Awww, Zinc, don’t be sad! *chocklit*
(Zinc) Yay! Chocklit! *munchmunchmunch* Mmmmmm….
(me) Yay! You’re happy now!
If only life were this simple.
116: If only life WERE that simple. But alas, all your problems cannot be solved by choklit.
But that was funny, and made me chuckle a bit.
117-I’m glad! *more chocklit*
ONE OF THE WORST SSSS’S EVER.
Look, Disneyland!
*blows it up*
Look, Yellowstone!
*blows it up*
Look, an HPB!
*bows self up*
YAY! YOU’RE A HERO, !
That sucked. Oh well!
(Zinc) My life stinks.
(Kyra) I’m sorry to hear that.
(Kyra) But whenever I feel like that, I do math problems!
(Zinc) That’s not going to help, Kyra.
(Kyra) Well, it helps me… *does math problems*
(Zinc) *chuckles (hopefully)*
120- You have the same gift as Siobhan…I chuckled.
Cinderella!
Hear ye, hear ye, there’s gonna be a ball.
, , , OOH! YAYNESS!
A ball sounds fun.
YOU CAN’T GO!
Aw, why not?
Because I’m your evil stepmother, and your father died under mysterious circumstances involving arsenic ten years ago!
…I don’t remember that part of the story.
It was edited out because of the young audiences.
oh, right. I remember that issue.
Back to work! I want to see my face shining in the fireplace by the end of dinner!
But stone isn’t reflective!
I’ve still got some arsenic left over.
Fine, fine.
*nomnomnom*
You’re dropping crumbs all over the carpet.
So?
I just vacuumed the carpet.
So?
WE DON”T OWN A VACUUM, WE LIVE IN MEDIEVAL TIMES!
I invented it.
…
…
It’s time to go to the BALL!
Oh, so I get to go?
No, whatever gave you that idea?
*later*
I am your fairy godmother.
You look like a rabbit, like the one I cooked last week.
Never mind that now. You’re going to the ball! Here, take these impractical glass slippers.
Who wants glass slippers?
You can buy ’em in bulk, it’s very cheap.
I WON”T SETTLE FOR LESS THAN SOLID GOLD!
Er… *poof*
–> Yessssss, masssster. *puts on glass slippers*
Now go to the ball and win the heart of the prince!
Ok!
*later*
I HATE parties.
Yes, my son, but we need to find you an appropriate mate for the coming years.
Can’t I just go and flirt by the wishing well like NORMAL people?
No, that would be silly.
*sees * WHOZAT?
She looks like a potential mate.
*dances with all evening* You’d be perfect if you weren’t green…
, , Curses! *jealousness*
Oh, yeah, forgot, you’ll turn back into your raggedy self at 12:01, when I have to take back all my powers and channel them into my NaNo.
Cake, it’s 11:59! *runs away*
COME BACK! Ooh, she left a slipper!
* romantically runs around testing shoe size*
*the shoe fits*
Oh, lady, be mine forever and ever and ever and- You’re not the right one, sorry. *runs off*
*blinkblink*
*tries on shoe*
You’re not green, either.
No, the greenness was just a spell my oddly-colored fairy godmother cast on me.
Ah. *deep breath* Oh, lady, be mine forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and-
OK!
*everyone lives happily ever after*
Heeheehee, wait until he finds out that ‘s “fairy godmother” is really a criminal wanted for unprovoked zombification all across the land! *maniacal laughter*
TNÖ
122~ *dies laughing and gets stern looks from librarians*
122-
122- Two thumbs up. Rather, two slippers up.
The Hobbit- by Tolkien (who else?)
(Bilbo Baggins) Ah, now for some peace and quiet. Oops, someone’s at the door.
(Balin) We’re dwarves. I’m the merry one.
(Dwalin) I’m the happy one.
(Fili) I’m the young one.
(Kili) I’m the other young one.
(Dori) I’m the funny one.
(Nori) I’m the joyous one.
(Ori) I’m the cute one.
(Oin) I’m the jolly one.
(Gloin) I’m the silly one.
(Bifur) I’m the one with the funniest name.
(Bofur) I’m the one with the silliest name.
(Bombur) I’m the fat one.
(Thorin) I’m the one with a distinct personality.
(Gandalf) Well, now that you’re all here, let’s go on a quest.
*They get captured by trolls, and it is dangerous, because they almost get eaten. Then they get captured by orcs, and it is dangerous, because they almost get eaten*
What have I got in my pocket?
(Gollum) I don’t know…*whistles*
*They get captured by spiders, and it is dangerous, because they almost get eaten*
(Smorg) I’m an evil dragon. Hiss hiss.
No, you aren’t.
Shut up.
*Bilbo Baggins turns invisible, and then some co-star slays the dragon, and it makes a MESS*
I’m going home. Peace and quiet, here I come.
The End
Hi! Whatcha doing?
Nothing.
Really? Well, how’s it going?
Pretty straightforward. I’m nothing, and by the looks of things, you’re nothing, too.
I’m not nothing!
Oh, yes, you’re definitely a nother.
Another what?
Another nother. One who noths. I noth, you noth, he/she/it/en noths, we noth, y’all noth, they noth. We noth; therefore, we are nothing. I’ve been nothing all morning.
What are you talking about?!
Nothing.
YAAAAAAAAH! *runs away*
126-
126–What AJAR said–
125–Smaug. The dragon’s name is Smaug. But very cute (and accurate)!
What was the laughing high point of my day.
Setting- Okay, so Spumoni, Noodle (a boy, FYI), Frosting, and I were all in our science class trying to put together a toy human skeleton. At this point, the limbs keep falling off.
(Frosting) I wonder if it’s a boy or a girl?
(Me) I think it’s a boy.
(Spumoni) I think it’s a boy. Furthermore, I hope it’s Noodle.
(Me) Why do you hope it’s Noodle?
(Spumoni) Well, if that was Noodle, he’d be dead. Obviously.
(Noodle) No, you just want to see me naked!
Soooooo funny. I know, we’re immature, but we all find that hilariously funny.
129- …Ok…
APOCALYPSE 2012
Starring:
, the thoughtful person
, the paranoid person
, the cool person
: AAAHHH! THE WORLD’S ABOUT TO END! WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE! DIE DIE DIE!
: Why do you think that?
: THE ANCIENT MAYANS PREDICTED IT! AND THEY’RE RIGHT! WE HAVE TO HITCH A LIFT ON A SPACESHIP NOW!
: Chill out, dude.
: HOW CAN I CHILL OUT? THE WORLD’S ABOUT TO END!
: Dude, who cares? The secret of coolness is to not care about anything except how cool you are.
: How could we hitch a lift on a spaceship? Aliens don’t exist.
: YES THEY DO! THEY’RE LIVING AMONG US!
: Yeah, awesome. Let’s go to the arcade and play Wii.
: AAAHHH! HERE’S THE COUNTDOWN ON THE TV! WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE IN….*counts along with TV people* FIVE! FOUR! THREE! TWO! ONE! GOODBYE, CRUEL WORLD!!! *faints*
: The world doesn’t appear to have ended. I wonder why the ancient Mayans thought it would.
: Now can we go play Wii?
: *wakes up* AAAHHH! WE ALL DIED! I TOLD YOU WE WOULD!
: Chill out, dude. We’re alive, and now we’re going to the arcade to play Wii.
: Well, that was a strange adventure. But at least we’re all safe.
: *appears* That’s where you’re wrong, foolish mortal. *holds up nuclear warhead*
: Hello. I am , your guide in the ways of HPB’s. Now let’s talk bunny propaganda. A good example of our mind control is…
:*interrupts* What… why are you telling us this? Don’t you want to keep the ways of the bunny secret?
What’s going on? Why is there a bunny here? AAAAAHHHHHHH!! *runs around in circles screaming*
: *takes off bunny suit* Duhh, that was a joke, .
: *takes off smiley suit* Duhh again, I’m a bunny. *takes over world* mwahaha!!
THE VACATION MISHAP
A parody of post 40 on the Urban Legends thread.
Starring:
: the cool person
The other smiley: the random person vacationing with
( and are on vacation, scuba diving in aquabunny-infested waters.)
: Dude, take a photo. It would be, like, awesome.
: Fine. Smile. *takes out underwater camera*
: *leans nonchalantly against rock with “too cool for smiling” expression*
: *sees something doesn’t see* Oh, cake.
: Take the photo, dude.
: *is very scared, but holds up camera* S-smile…
: *has been hiding behind * I have no patience for this. *zombifies them both*
: Oh gloriousss masssterrrr, how may weeee ssserve you? Weee can fulfill yourrrr everrrry neeeeeed. *drool*
: *mutters* Oh no, annoying servants.
: What did you sssay, masssterrr? Weee didn’t heeearrr. *drool*
: Go take a long walk off a short cliff.
: Yesss, masssterrr. *find cliff and walk off it*
: That, my friends, is what I call a tourist trap.
SMILEY GOSSIP
Based on a current conversation on the HG2MB thread.
Starring:
: the evil, stupid, and much-hated Mr. Joe
: the smiley that expresses curiosity
: the smiley that expresses strong emotion
: the evil HPB
The other smiley : Bob, the average smiley that tries in vain to keep Mr. Joe in line
: Hee hee hee, have you heard?
: Heard what?
: The GAPAs are getting rid of and !
: Mr. Joe, don’t spread rumors. You know that’s not true. They haven’t decided yet if they will. Besides, a smiley is never truly gotten rid of, it has reconstructive pixel surgery to change its appearance. For example, used to be a lightbulb.
: I HEARD THAT! *mauls *
: *casually blows up with nuclear bomb* So, Mr. Joe, the point is, don’t spread rumors. and will probably remain as they are for quite some time.
: Mr. Joe? Why are you gossiping about us?
: Stop it, Mr. Joe! You’re being really mean!
: Hee hee hee, you two are losers. I hope you get replaced with two more of me.
: Why must you be so mean? What gives you the right to bully us?
: He’s the loser! Get him!
( and run off, chasing around Smiley World.)
: *quotes Dave Barry* The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
134: Hee!
*sips frappacino* Mm, this is GOOD.
GASP! No! Don’t give into to Starbucks! NOOOO!!!!
-> Why should I be worried about Starbucks? I mean, their coffee is good. I get it every day.
This is a guy who got Starbucks coffee every day.
COFFEE GOOD STARBUCKS GOOD LOVE STARBUCKS COFFEEEEEE!!!!’
Oh my.
And in addition, there’s a group of people waiting in your neighborhood Starbucks.
Who are they?
I’ll show you.
* :shock and go off to ‘s neighborhood Starbucks*
NO MORE STARBUCKS, NO MORE STARBUCKS!
Who are you people?!
We’re the Musebloggers. We have a plan for world domination, but Starbucks is beating us. So we’re protesting.
*enter, stage left* Hey! What are you doing here?
x3 -> x3 AAHH! HPBS!
-> Yes, what are you guys doing here?
We too have a plan for world domination, but like those bipeds, Starbucks is getting it quicker. So we’re going to destroy all the Starbucks in the world.
But that’s awful violent!
Yes, and your point is…?
…
Do you see our logic? *disappears to unknown destination*
Okay, we’reagainst Starbucks too, but we’d rather just lock all of them up than BLOW them up!
So we’re going to stop them!
*Mission Impossible plays*
To Be Kontinued…
((Something is certainly happening. Starbucks recently started laying off staff and closing stores.))
Part 2.
An airport.
Well, I have our tickets. We’re going to Paris to find Starbucks! Are you guys coming, or are we going to have to do this ourselves?
Nah, I just bought two tickets yesterday.
Why two?
Because I did.
…
-> Well, let’s get on!
( all get on the plane, and it takes off.)
(to )Hi, I’m your flight attendant. Do you want anything to drink?
No.
Nope.
Nein!
You don’t even know the menu.
Shoot.
To Be Kontinued…
Part 3.
We have coffee, tea, apple juice, and frappuccinos.
We’ll never have Starbucks! NEVER! *knocks over food cart*
*picks empty cart up* Jerks. *goes over to and * What do you want? Coffee, tea, apple juice, or a frappuccino?
We’re not hungry.
Whatever. *leaves*
#3 *peers behind seat* You’re weird.
May I ask WHY we are traveling with them again?
Well, they have the best chance of defeating the bunnies, since most of them have researched them.
There are more of them?
Yeah, and from what I understand, they’re all friends, because–
#1 Hey look! We’re over the ocean! *1,2, and 3 all squish their faces to the window*
Yes, the sea.
You’re getting the window dirty.
*pays no attention* Hee! Look! Dolphins!
Those aren’t dolphins.
#2 Then what are they?
Deadly, giant, plane-eating sharks.
#3 Yeah right!
*airplane wing gets chomped off*
-> Oh dear.
138- *dies* That was wonderful.
Sorry, Twilight fans.
TWILIGHT:
(Edward) *ignores Bella*
(Bella) Why are you ignoring me?
(Jacob) He’s a vampire.
(Bella) Oh.
(Edward) I love you, Bella.
(Bella) I love you too, Edward.
(Edward) But we mustn’t be together, for I may kill you!
[badly conceived conflict]
(Bella) I love you. And now I want to be a vampire, too!
(Edward) I love you. Isn’t that enough?
(Bella) No.
[they kiss]
Hey look a bunny!
Haha, now die.
*dies*
Haha, again. *gets attacked by a rabid squirrel wearing a bowler hat speaking in German and holding a carving knife*
: Awesome. An army of HPBs.
: No! You don’t understand!!!
:No. Just be cool. Don’t care.
: Hey, wait…. you seem a little different than before…
: I’m an HPB in disguise! Mwa-ha-ha!
: Help! Run!
TOWN: Come on. It’s all fine…
:Help! I’m surrounded!!!
That was weird…
Anyone can make a sequel…
“Oh no! I’m surrounded!!! My very cool friend betrayed me and turned out to be a HPB in disguise, and now there are HPBs everywhere, oh what am I to do???”
“Idiot. Run, that’s what you’re supposed to do, duh. However, instead you made a very long speech. And that my friend, was a mistake.”
“You’re not my friend! You betrayed me!”
“I only said that to cal you down, heaven’s knows you’re not my friend, bunnies don’t have friends, duh again. anyway, calm down, zombification is so much easier when the patient is not trying to resist. Of course, it’s impossible to resist forever, you know that, but to make it easier just lie down and take deep breaths…..deep breaths…….that’s good, now close your eyes and…….”
“Yess masssssterrrrrrr. I see now that I must remain calm at all times so I am more easily controlled. what may I do at your evile bidding now, massssstttttteerrrrrrr?”
“Uum, I don’t know, Just hang out if you want, entertain me, whatever.”
“Yesss masssterrr. I shall entertain you now byt blowing myself up for your viewing pleasure, I think that that would appeal to our tastes?”
“Yeah, sure, whatever.”
*blows self up*
“You know, I don’t really mind, they get so annoying after a few minutes.” *hops away to find anther victim*
139: *bows* *falls flat on face from bowing to far forward* Oof.
Part 4.
#2 Quick! Do we have any parachutes??
#1 Of course! Why do you think we carry around these backpacks anyway?!
#3 Jump!
( and :shock all jump from window.)
These windows aren’t even a foot wide. How did they all manage to jump out at the same time?
Three words, my friend– I don’t know. But right now we have more important matters to worry about.
Like surviving and finding the Musebloggers?
Well, mostly the former, but I guess that’s important too.
#2 HEY! WE HEARD THAT!
Why haven’t you plummetted down to the deadly, giant plane-eating sharks?
-> Cause, dummy, we’re fixing the plane!
To Be Kontinued, since I have to eat dinner…
: I’m bored.
: Awesome.
: Well, you know what that means…
: What?
: ENTERTAIN ME, YOU NUMBSKULL!!!
: Shall I sing?
: I don’t care.
: *sings* Everything’s gonna be all right, no one, no one, no one…
: Sing something else.
: *sings* Soldier boy –
: No, no, anything but that!
: We’re all in this together, once we know that we are, we’re all stars, and we see that –
: *rolls on floor, clutching ears in agony* STOP SINGING!!!
: Okay, I’ll dance. *belly dances*
: *is deeply disturbed* Just do something else.
: Well, what entertains you?
: The painful death of humans, mainly. Although I also love Broadway musicals.
: O RLY?
: I abhor chatspeak. *blows up * Nothing brightens up a gloomy day like the violent death of one’s annoying servant.
145~
145– “Okay, I’ll dance. *belly dances*/ *is deeply disturbed*
this had me in stitches! very, very hilarious!!!!!!!!!!
147~ I cracked up on that line too. It took a few minutes to regain my breath and stop chortling.
Am am an HPB.
We all know that. I’m MISTER GREEN!
I’m cooler than both of you, so shut up.
No, I don’t wanna shut up! Make me!
*makes Mr. Green shut up*
*is silent*
Thank you. He’s been annoying me.
No! You took away my line!
Where did you come from, insignificant emoticon?
Uummmm……never mind…..I’ll just, ah leave now…. *backs toward door*
I think not.
*is paralyzed with fear*
That’s it, now just come toward me slowly….
*obeys*
[thinking] Oh. My. Gosh. What is going on here? This bunny is really starting to freak me out…..
Now, my paranoid and panic prone friend, we will see what happens when you try to escape a bunny.
W-what? *blubbering* Please let me go, I didn’t mean anything, I just wanted to get my line in and do it right, but I guess this was the wrong SSSS, I know that now, please don’t hurt me, I never meant to intrude on you, I didn’t mean to make you mad, I never would have come in if I’d known, oh please sir, don’t hurt me!
Don’t soil my beautiful fur, you clod of smiley filth! Take your hands off of me, I’m not fit to be touched by the likes of you! *distastefully brushes away*
[thinking] Have, got, to, get, away…..
Please sir! Don’t hurt me!
Okay, fine! Just go away. Leave me alone. I want some quiet time for myself. I want time do relax and do some yoga, can’t you at least give me that?! Go! Shoo! Begone!
and *flee*
Oh. They left. That’s cool. What should I do now?
Blow up, implode, whatever. See if I care. Just don’t muss the carpet.
Okay! *implodes violently, without mussing the carpet*
*checks to see that the other enoticons are where he wants them* [they are] *chilling and mirthless laugh* Now, my silly “friends” see what happens when you trust a bunny……… *implodes room where other emoticons are hiding*
Heh, all in a day’s work. *brushes off hands and hops away*
WARRIORS: INTO THE WILD
(Rusty) : I wish I could live in the wild.
(Bluestar) : You can! Come join ThunderClan!
(He does, and becomes Firepaw.)
(Tigerclaw) : Mwahaha! I killed Redtail, so I’m one step closer to becoming deputy! Except Ravenpaw knows. Oh well, guess I’ll have to kill him, too.
(Firepaw) : Here, Ravenpaw, you can live in this barn.
(Tigerclaw) : Oh no, Frostfur’s kits have been stolen! Yellowfang must have done it!
(Firepaw, Graypaw, and Yellowfang save the kits, who were in fact stolen by Brokenstar.)
(Bluestar) : Firepaw, Graypaw, it’s time you became warriors.
(They do, becoming Fireheart and Graystripe.)
I will eventually ultra-condense the entire first series.
150-Not much to condense…There isn’t enough plot in those books.
You… fixed… the… plane? Whoa, that’s a lot to comprehend. Give me a minute.
How do you fix a plane in midair?
#1 Jetpacks. Duh.
*blink*
#2 Actually, those two fixed the plane while I played the saxophone!
*crickets*
#2 Don’t be so biased, okay??? I mean, what’s so bad about saxo-
#3 Shut up.
#2 Hmph. I believe I have the rights to pie you.
Pie you?
#2 Yeah, like this! *pies*
*ducks*
#1 *gets hit with pie* Hey!
#3 PIE WAR! PIE WAR! *gets pied*
*pie war commences, with MBers sprinting around plane*
*puts head in hands* This is just so pointless.
That’s their way of life.
What?
Okay, so from what I know, the MBers-
This is your captain speaking. I’m sorry, but we’re experiencing some… malfunctions- *several loud noises are heard from cabin*-so the plane will be landing shortly in- get that thing out of here!- Australia. Have a nice- AUGH!
This ends part 5. Stay tuned for part 6, where the MBers and those other people will land in Russia and deal with German tourists!
The entire Warriors series:
WARRIORS: INTO THE WILD
(Rusty) : I wish I could live in the wild.
(Bluestar) : You can! Come join ThunderClan!
(He does, and becomes Firepaw.)
(Tigerclaw) : Mwahaha! I killed Redtail, so I’m one step closer to becoming deputy! Except Ravenpaw knows. Oh well, guess I’ll have to kill him, too.
(Firepaw) : Here, Ravenpaw, you can live in this barn.
(Tigerclaw) : Oh no, Frostfur’s kits have been stolen! Yellowfang must have done it!
(Firepaw, Graypaw, and Yellowfang save the kits, who were in fact stolen by Brokenstar. There is a battle, and Brokenstar gets exiled.)
(Bluestar) : Firepaw, Graypaw, it’s time you became warriors.
(They do, becoming Fireheart and Graystripe.)
WARRIORS: FIRE AND ICE
(Fireheart) : Yay, Graystripe and I have apprentices, Brackenpaw and Cinderpaw!
(Graystripe) : I also have a secret. I meet secretly with my RiverClan love, Silverstream.
(Tigerclaw) : Mwahaha! I will kill Bluestar! *cripples Cinderpaw* Oops.
(WindClan) : Help! ShadowClan drove us from our territory!
(Fireheart and Graystripe) : We’ll bring you back! *do so*
(There is a battle with RiverClan for no apparent reason.)
WARRIORS: FOREST OF SECRETS
(Bluestar) : Fireheart found out my secret – I have a son and daughter in RiverClan. Their father was a RiverClan cat.
(Graystripe) : Silverstream died while having my kits, and to make things worse, everyone knows the kits are half-Clan, and no one wants them.
(Tigerclaw) : Mwahaha! I will kill Bluestar! *is stopped by Fireheart and exiled from the Clan*
(Fireheart) : Yay, I’m the new deputy!
(Yellowfang) : Sorry, Brokenstar, but I’m going to have to kill you. *does, even though he’s her son*
(Graystripe) : Bye, everyone. I’m going to RiverClan with my kits. *leaves*
WARRIORS: RISING STORM
(Cloudpaw) : Yay, I’m I’m finally an apprentice! And also, I sneak away to eat kittypet food, and none of my Clan knows! *gets kidnapped by Twolegs and rescued by his Clanmates* I’ve learned my lesson.
(Bluestar) : Since Tigerclaw betrayed me, I am depressed, mentally unstable, and have no faith in StarClan.
(Littlecloud and Whitethroat) : We need a cure for the disease that Nightstar has. Will you shelter us and find a cure?
(The Clan shelters them and tries to find a cure, but Nightstar dies. Whitethroat gets hit by a car and dies. Littlecloud goes back to ShadowClan. Then there is a fire in the ThunderClan camp, and Yellowfang dies.)
(Tigerstar) : Mwahaha! I’m the new leader of ShadowClan!
WARRIORS: A DANGEROUS PATH
(Tigerstar) : Mwahaha! I will teach a pack of dogs to attack ThunderClan cats!
(He does, and a few cats die.)
(Bluestar) : I’m still depressed, mentally unstable, and without faith in StarClan. I don’t really care what happens to my Clan. Oh wait, I do. *dies saving Clan from dogs*
WARRIORS: THE DARKEST HOUR
(Firestar) : Yay, I’m leader of ThunderClan!
(Tigerstar) : Mwahaha! I will take over the forest! And Scourge here, with his army of vicious kittypets, is going to help me!
(Scourge) : No, I’m not. *kills Tigerstar* Now I will rule the forest!
(All four Clans join together to fight Scourge.)
(Scourge) : I will kill you, Firestar! *does so*
(Bluestar) : *appears to Firestar in a vision* You’ve lost a life. Being a nine-lived Clan leader, you have eight more to lose. So you can go back to the battle. Have fun!
(Firestar comes back to life.)
(Scourge) : What the – *gets killed by Firestar*
(all the cats) : Yay!
Sorry for the extra-long post. I just wanted to get my Warriors ultra-condensation over with in one post. I will not ultra-condense New Prophecy or Power Of Three, as they are largely repeated plotlines.
153- Ooh! Ooh! Do Firestar’s Quest! That’s my fav book in the series.
Bernstein Bears Get The Gimmies (one of my faves )
(Brother and Sister) Gimme this thing.
(Papa) Okay, here. Why do you keep throwing temper tantrums?
(Mama) Because you GIVE IN, stupid.
THE END
154 – Okay.
WARRIORS: FIRESTAR’S QUEST
(Firestar) : I keep having weird dreams and visions of cats fleeing the forest, and a strange gray-and white cat. I wonder what they mean…
(Bluestar) : We lied to you. There used to be a fifth Clan, SkyClan, and you have to go and start it again.
(Firestar) : Okay, everyone, I’m going on a quest. Graystripe, you can be leader while I’m gone. What’s that, Sandstorm? Fine, you can come. *leaves with Sandstorm*
(Firestar and Sandstorm) : *find suitable place for a camp* Alright, now we need to find some cats. Are there any kittypets or loners that want to be in SkyClan?
(a bunch of cats) : We do! *get names and positions* Yay, we’re a clan! *turn into * Help, we have to fight rats! What should we do?
(Firestar and Sandstorm) : Here, we’ll show you some fighting techniques. *do*
(They defeat the rats.)
(Firestar) : Well, Sandstorm and I had better be going now.
(SkyClan) : But you’re our leader!
(Firestar) : One of you needs to be leader. How about Leafdapple?
(Leafdapple becomes the leader, Leafstar. Firestar and Sandstorm go home.)
“Could we please have a thread for SSSS condensations of books? I can see that this is a growing genre, and I think since there’s a thread for Round Robin SSSSs, I think there should be another sub genre for book condensations.”
“No, deal with it kid, I’m in charge here. I get to write in italics.”
“Oh. well, in that case I gues I’ll have to call in help….”
“Hello, how may I help you?”
“I’d like a new thread and I was told that it wouldn’t happen. Could you help me?”
“Certainly. Look deep into my eyes…..”
*is hypnotized*
“Make……a……new……thread…………..now.”
“Yess…….I will. I will do it now.”
“Yes, that is good. so you see? when you cooperate it is not painful dealing with my kind.”
“Thank you!”
*coughcough*
Please note that you can take whatever meaning you like from the above SSSS. If I don’t get the thread that way I’ll resort to outright begging, just so you know.
The same applies to the following.
“You’re supposed to be writing SSSSs, not complaining to the GAPAs!”
“Yes, I suppose…..but it’s only one post, and I’ll include this so it won’t be pointless.”
“Oh. Can I still blow something up? I’m feeling a bit stressed. Gotta let off some steam, don’cha know?”
“Umm, sure. I’ll just go chill in the bomb shelter for a bit…..”
“I think not.”
*explodes*
“Stupid humans, thinking just because we’re cute we;ll help them achieve their own ends. Hah, as if I care if she gets a new thread or not. Trying to use me to threaten her betters. Idiot.”
“Oh. To bad she had to go that way. I guess I’ll honor her last wishes though and make a new thread and mention her. It seems only right. Yes, I’ll go do that now…..”
and *hiding out of sight* “Ha, suckers! Our plan worked! they fell for it and though the dummy was real!” *high fives* “Good work…..”
FIN
hahahahahahahahaha
: Hi, I’m an HPB.
: Hi, I’m a smiley.
(Awkward silence.)
: Well, we both know how this is going to turn out.
: Yes. You’re going to either kill me or zombify me and then kill me. Then you’re going to make a witty remark and possibly take over the world.
(Another awkward silence.)
: How about we try something different? You know, just for a plot twist. I could be a nice, Mostly Harmless HPB, and you could be a bunny-friendly smiley.
: Okay!
(They become friends and do fun things together.)
(Audience) : Boo! This is boring! We want violence, world domination, and evil HPBs!
: Oh, do you hear that? They’re bored. I guess I’d better destroy you after all. *blows up * Never trust a bunny! Now, I’m going to go take over the world!
(Audience) : Now, that’s more like it! *applaud*
☻ : Hi, everyone.
(Audience) : Who are you?
☻ : My name is Billy. I like to fling people into black holes.
(Audience) : Ooh! The plot thickens!
☻ : What plot? *flings and into black hole* Awesome!
Moral: Never trust an Alt + 2 smiley. Especially a red one.
160–but, but…..an alt 2 smiley is: â„¢, not your little red dude……*in accusing voice* do you have a pc?
huh.
I am cute, very, very cute. And fuzzy. and huggable and snuggable and loveable and kissable.
Aw, it’s a cute little bunny!!!!! *hugs, snugs, loves, and kisses*
what the heck? get off me you crazy smiley!
but, but you said! you said you were huggable and snugable and loveable and kissable!
yes, but you’re not supposed to actually hug me and all that, you idiot! you are just supposed to be hypnotized and brainwashed, so that you are then unable to escape when I destroy you!
oh. well then. *flees*
what? how dare you! I will hunt you down and destroy you, you despicable smiley!*runs through door, where is waiting, hiding*
*trips causing to fall into a bottomless pit, where can harm no one again*
becomes and meets a very cute girl smiley, and they live happily ever after. the end.
160 – Yes, I have a PC. And I made him red with the red HTML.
Oh, wait, that should be replying to 161. I wouldn’t reply to my own comment.
162–yeah, I kinda figured the red was from the “normal” HTML, but my alt2 (on a mac) gives me the trademark symbol….. ™™™™™™™™™™™
oh well….one can always c+p!
☻ ☻ ☻ ☻ ☻ ☻ ☻ ☻ ☻ ☻ ☻ ☻
mwahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!
(161) Awww. I’m a sucker for happy endings.
159~ Oh good, you got it. Thank you for the new thread!
*attack*
What the frick?
They duel.
wins.
Obviously.
Surrender, human!
No! *points pea shooter*
*cock guns* Freeze.
Oh crap. I’m dead.
Now back up, put the weapon down, and give me a pack of tropical fruit Bubblicious.
And some Skittles.
(TNO) I should probably get off this and start working on Biology like I’m supposed to…
Like that’s ever going to happen.
Right.
Glad that’s settled.
Stem cells?
Boring… *snore*
*zombifies everyone*
–> Oh no!
I thought you were on my side!
You shorted out the computer! *goes into Internet withdrawals*
You don’t even like old Windows computer!
At least they had Internet!
Have a cookie. It’s peanutbutter!
–> Thanks much. *eats cookie*
Rawr. *takes over world*
And they all lived… Er… Happily ever after.
The Adventures Of Mr. Green, Continued:
*walks into bakery*
Hello, sir, what can I get you?
You sell burritos?
No, I’m sorry, we don’t. Would you like a scone?
Want burritos.
Sir, we don’t sell burritos. We sell baked goods.
No burrito?
I’m very sorry, but this is a bakery, not a Mexican resteraunt. Would you like to try a hot cinnamon danish?They’re half-off this morning.
You sell Ring Pops?
*getting angry* No, sir, we sell BAKED GOODS. You know, like biscuits and turnovers.
Doggie biscuit?
NO.
Parrot biscuit?
NO!
Llama biscuit?
SIR, WE SELL. BAKED. GOODS!
You sell baked potato?
NO! THIS IS A BAKERY, STUPID! BAKED GOODS! READ THE SIGN!
oh, okay.
*calms down* Phew. Okay, would you like anything ELSE?
You sell burritos?
*eye twitches*
THE END
170–
Hey, look, a pit of angry evilus HPBs! *falls in*
AAAH! HE FELL INTO A PIT OF ANGRY EVILUS HPBS! *falls in*
I will blow up the pit of angry evilus HPBs! *falls in*
Why do all these smileys keep falling into a pit of angry evilus HPBs? *falls in*
Beats me. Maybe it has something to do with saying “pit of angry evilus HPBs”. *falls in*
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT! DON’T SAY “PIT OF ANGRY EVILUS HPBS” – *falls in*
Oh dear. *turns into to continue public service announcement* BECAUSE IF YOU DO, YOU WILL FALL INTO A PIT OF ANGRY EVILUS HPBS! *falls in*
When will all these smileys learn to stop saying “pit of angry evilus HPBs”? *falls in*
(down in the pit) : Hi, everyone. *eat all smileys*
‘Ello all, I’m Bop, and this is–
Dude.
Well most of you probably don’t remember us, it’s been a while since Jade remembered to take us out of the cupboards to get some air.
Dude…
Anyway, We’ll be hanging around ‘ere for a bit, snce Jade isn’t sure when she’ll next remember to let us out.
Dude.
Indeed, see you around!
Dude
Oh for– can’t you please learn to say something else? I’ve been shut up in a box with you for who know’s how long and you still haven’t learnd to say anyting else?!
…Dude?
*skipping and singing loudly* On top of SPAGHEEEEEETTI, all covered with CHEEEEEEEESE, I lost my poor MEEEEEAATBAAAALLLLL. when –
8) Dude. Shut up.
*totally ignores* – somebody SNEEEEEEZED –
8) Um, seriously, dude. Sing something other than that, anything at all.
*ignores* – it rolled off the TAAAAAAABLE, and onto the FLOOOOOOOR –
8) Dude *starts singing as well* NINETY-NINE BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL, NINETY-NINE BOTTLES OF BEER –
*sings louder* – and then my poor MEEEEEATBAAAAALLLL –
8) *sings louder* – TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND –
*sings even louder* – rolled straight out the DOOOOOOOR –
8) *starts shouting* – NINETY-EIGHT BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL! NINETY-EIGHT –
*it continues in this vein, until*
*wanders in* *starts singing* Homicide, homicide, we may see murder yet!
8) *shut up*
Ah, all in a good day’s work. *bites their heads off*
This is just weird.
Hey, dude , wanna go play in the arcade
Sure…
C’mon, dude, why ya lookin’ at that bunny ‘nclosure?
Ok…
& *reach the arcade*
hey, dude, let’s play ov’a there, lotsa peeps ‘r play’n it.
Sure…
UH OH
& other people at arcade *pull off masks*
and more ‘s OH YEAH UH HUH WE GOT IT!!!
Are you aware that this is possibly the most smileyed thread… ever?
Uhhhhhhhh… really?
*whispers to * Shut up! You can only say ‘duh’ and drool!
*turns on * YOU KNOW WHAT?!?!?!?! I am SICK and TIRED of you always controlling me in these stupid, senseless smiley stories! I think it’s about time that everyone knew the TRUTH!
NONONONONONONONONO! DON’T DO IT!
…What?
THE FINAL, IRREFUTABLE TRUTH IS…
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I am ‘s father.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
Um. Okay then…
And you know what? , you’re GROUNDED.
But… Dad! I need to zombify people!
No zombification until you eat your dinner.
Um… *scooches away*
I finished my dinner!
Okay. You can only zombify one person.
But–
But nothing.
*looks at menacingly*
*runs away and breaks the world record for the marathon*
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
Go to your room!
177-
: Well, that’s certainly an eye-opener.
: Your eyes are always open.
: You’re always so mean to me! *sobs*
: No, I’m sarcastic. There’s a difference.
: Not really!
:You know, you’re really getting on my nerves!
:Eek!
: See, your eyes are open again!!
THE RANDOM ADVENTURES OF THE SOMEWHAT SARCASTIC AND COMPASSIONATE HPB.
((Hey, ‘senseless’ and ‘stupid’ are in the title of the thread.))
8) *singing* Imagine there’s no heaven…
I could certainly believe that.
8) It’s easy if you try…
I just said I believe you. No need to try here.
8) No hell below us…
YOU SAID A BAAAAAD WORD! Hehe.
8) Above us only sky…
And a bird… no, a plane… NO, SUPERMAN!
8) Imagine all the people…
Mmhm.
8) Living for today…
All the better. that means they won’t mind too much if I kill them.
8) Imagine there’s no countries…
What?
8) It isn’t hard to do…
Okay, conflicting with your past claims, it actually is. What do you mean, anyway? No individual countries, just HPB land? …Wait, that sounds like a good idea…
8) Nothing to kill or die for…
You were sounding pretty smart up until that point. *eats*
I am an HPB
Hi
The Round Robin Smileys thread is dieing, and just before I was about to kill those HRBs. Then I would have bunnified everyone else too.
Too bad bad it’s dying. Ha Ha, you can’t bunnify people!!
Yes I can!!! *bunnifies *
I’m attempting something new…
Zinc is really annoyed right now.
Why’s that?
Her younger cousin just forced her to watch Camp Rock, so she has “Play My Music” stuck in her head. That’s what being in the theater gets you.
Oh, but the Jonas Brothers aren’t that bad.
WHAT??!! ARE YOU CRAZY?!?! *explodes *
Blegh. *wipes remains of off of shirt*
I have entered.
Oh, great. Now he’s going to blow us all to the kingdom come.
Yo, wa zup, ma homies?
What the…
My dizzle in the fizzle and the mizzle tizzle!
FOREIGNER! *mauls *
Chizzle… *crawls away*
Ra pa da dum da duuumm! I’m Cigarette Man!
EVILLL!!! *mauls * And remember kiddies, always brush your teeth. *kills everyone*
Fin.
:*cries*
:Lah di dah di dah!
:*is stupid*
:*laughs*
:*is snarky*
:*is even snarkier*
:LA DI DAH DI DAAAAH!!! I’m soooooo happy!!!
:Ha, ha, I’m better than you!
:*zombifies* *bunnifies* *destroys* *is cute*
:WOW.
:Hmmm…
:Right this way, folks!
:*is sad*
There, is that enough stereotyping for ya?
181-I’m not quite sure what to think of that…..
AN SSSS WITH A HAPPY ENDING (GASP)
Hello, smiley. Would you be so kind as to direct me to the legendary Spike Pie O’ Doom?
What … what for?
To destroy my enemies with, of course!
Who are your … enemies?
All non- smileys.
In that case, I’ll never tell you where it is.
Tell me.
No.
TELL ME!
NO!
Won’t talk, smiley? Well, maybe my zombie army can convince you otherwise.
EXTERMINATE EXTERMINATE EXTERMINATE
Exterminate what?
You.
EXTERMINATE EXTERMINATE EXTERMINATE *fire ray guns*
Aaahhh! Help!
Tell me the location of the Spike Pie O’ Doom, or my zombie army will disintegrate you with their ray guns!
Fine, I’ll tell you! It’s…*turns into * Right here! *pies and *
..———————–
/………………………….\
-V-V-V-V-V-V-V-V-V-
NOOO! *die*
*dusts off hands* *goes home in time for supper*
I had an interesting idea all of the sudden. (Be prepared for extreme senselessness.)
(Dolores Umbridge, not HPB, but really, there can’t be that much difference): Write that our 1000000000000000000 times, Potter!
8) (HP) Dude.
Mr. Potter, I do not permit the use of such vulgar language in my office!
8) Dude, Umbridge, chill.
No!
8) Chill out, man.
(beginning to sprout ears) I am not a man!
8) Fine, chill woman.
I’m not that either!
8 O (still HP) Gaaaah! *dies*
Professors McGonagall ( ) and Moody ( ) leap out of the shadows
Splendid imperius curse, Alastor!
And a job well done, Minerva! (morphs into Barty Crouch) Gaah!
Oops!
*dies*
I had an interesting idea all of the sudden. (Be prepared for extreme senselessness.)
(Dolores Umbridge, not HPB, but really, there can’t be that much difference): Write that our 1000000000000000000 times, Potter!
8) (HP) Dude.
Mr. Potter, I do not permit the use of such vulgar language in my office!
8) Dude, Umbridge, chill.
No!
8) Chill out, man.
(beginning to sprout ears) I am not a man!
8) Fine, chill woman.
I’m not that either!
(still HP) Gaaaah! *dies*
Professors McGonagall ( ) and Moody ( ) leap out of the shadows
Splendid imperius curse, Alastor!
And a job well done, Minerva! (morphs into Barty Crouch) Gaah!
Oops!
*dies*
185 – So who survived? Umbridge and Barty Crouch?
Wait, were they even in the same book?
No, but I have china kittens on my walls. They give me superpowers.
(Hermione) Oh, lovely. Now she has superpowers.
and (Fred and George) *blow up Umbridge with firecrackers and fly away on brooms*
(Hermione) *defeats You-Know-Who using brainpower now that HP is dead*
181, 185-Ummmmmm……………
182 –
A NON-STEREOTYPICAL SSSS
I’m depressed.
I’m really depressed.
*sobs inconsolably*
Yay! I love life!
*rolls on floor laughing*
I’m bored.
Me too. Nothing ever happens around here.
Yeah. Absolutely nothing to be excited about.
Duh…*is stupid*
*questions nothing*
*is extremely uncool*
I love everyone! I never get mad at people!
I’m no better or worse than anyone else. You’re all wonderful smileys.
I’m so excited! *bounces off walls*
*is honest and hides nothing*
*is perfect and has nothing to be embarrassed about*
*is a happy, non-evil model citizen*
*is a non-evil model citizen, but depressed about all the evil in the world*
*always speaks mind and is never sarcastic*
*is nice to smileys*
I refuse to show you the way to anything, ever.
So, if we assume that E=mc squared, then y=mx+b, and the shape of the universe is…*is smart*
I just had a thought. could be the intermediate stage of a human morphing into a bunny, since it’s turning pink. Like this:
189-
190-
((Smiley gnome?))
A random note follows.
Hi! How are you? I am fine. The weather has been awful. Perfectly terrible. Did you know that the James are having twins? Yes, they’re thinking of naming them Jordan and Taylor. That way it doesn’t really matter if they’re boy or girl. Those poor devils, they’ve been under a lot of stress lately. So, how have you been?
((That was just a really random note with random smileys inserted randomly.))
sequel to 145
I’m thirsty
Yay
WELL?!?
WELL?!? what?
Get me a human flesh soda, geez, you’re just like my last servant *grumbles*
Yes, master *drools, walks out to kitchen, gets human flesh soda, drinks it, fills can with hpb barf potion, closes can, and brings can to hpb*
What took you so long?
Um, had to find best.
*sighs, drinks soda, barfs*
*breaks into hysterical laughter, rolling on floor*
I KNEW I ZOMBIFIED YOU WRONG! *snarls, blows up , sighs* Oh well, I can try again.
Anyone can write a sequel!!!
I’m hungry.
*walks in* Yippee. *leaves*
Hey! COME BACK HERE OR I WILL BLOW YOU TO SMITHEREENS!!!
*drools* Yesss master.
Now. Get me some food. Preferably smileys.
But-
NOW!!!
Yesss master.
* goes to smiley world in a quest to find food*
Hello?
What.
*drools* Be my massster and friend…
Eew. No way.
To be Kontinued…
(Albert Einstein) Who zee ‘eck are you?!
(Mad scientist) Hmm? Whaaaa!!! *turns into *
(Albert Einstein) : Vat ees guuing on ‘ere?
(Mad scientist) My time machine worked!
(Albert Einstein) Vat zee ‘ell ees a time machine?
(Mad scientist) Isn’t that kinda obvious? And who are you? And where am I? And when am I?
(Albert Einstein) Ahh, but voo are een my labvratory! And eet ees the most glorious year of 1966!
(Mad scientist) But…but…being a well learned scholar and historian, I happen to know that you died in 1955…1955…!!!! Oh. Oh no. NOT THAT!!!!!!
(Albert Einstein) Not vat?
(Mad scientist) His dead body has been bunnified! Oh crap! Well, being a Mad Scientist, I find it kind of cool!
(Albert Einstein) Hee hee! My secret is out! Oh wait… that isn’t good… oh. Curses! And vat ees thees “cool” and zees “crap”? Oh, never mind. MWAHAHAHA! NOW I WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!!! *girl screams*
(Mad scientist) Oh…oh…oh… *gets stuck on repeat*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*fzzzzt!* *fzzzt!*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Kieth Olberman) Not again! Why must that Rockerfeller Center tree keep draining all the power? There goes my late night movie!…….*thinks* Oh! Yeah! *whispers* what was my script? Umm. Yeah, ok. Ahem! So uh, ya, DARN YOU! DARN YOU ALL TO HECK!!!!! It is the 65,000,059 year since dinosaurs went extinct, and only 23 days till our new president. Good night and good luck. *throws paper at screen and is promptly eaten by :idea:* Ahhhh! Darn you! Darn you to heck, HPB!!!
I’d say that was a successful SSSS!
It totally sucked, man!
Hey you aren’t nice! I’m telling my mommy on yo-
MUNCH! MUNCHY CRUNCH!
AHHH! HPB!!!! AHHH…kchhhhkkk……*fzzt!* *fzzt!*~~~~
Eragon: Ah ha ha ha! *turns off TV* Another happy ending! Well…for the HPB.
196- Phonetic accents are intrinsically funny. I can’t imagine why I didn’t do them in The Space Age.
THE MOST POINTLESS SSSS EVER
Awww, it’s a cute little bunny! *pets *
Hasn’t anyone ever told you it’s not a good idea to approach strange animals? *eats*
Why’d you just eat a smiley? I thought bunnies were peaceful vegetarians.
Well, you thought wrong. *eats*
AAAH! SMILEY-EATING BUNNY ON THE LOOSE!
I think that’s pretty apparent, there’s no need to yell it out to all of Smiley World. *eats*
Hi. Whatcha doing?
After seeing me eat three smileys, I would think you’d have enough common sense not to bother me. No matter, more food for me.
I wasn’t aware you were a cannibal.
Cannibal? You stupid smileys…*sighs* I am a bunny. You are a smiley.
Wanna bet?
#1 Whoa. Can you show me how to disguise myself as a smiley?
#2 Sure. *teaches #1 to disguise self as smiley*
Mwahaha. *walk up to unsuspecting smiley* Hi. We’re taking a survey. If you were to be eaten by HPBs, would you rather be eaten whole or in chunks?
Um … whole, probably.
Well, too bad. *eat in chunks* Mwahaha.
Pointless? I think you mean senseless. And it makes sense that its senseless, cause it is a SSSS.
I went to a site called rinkworks, and picked a thing called dialecticise. I took one of my ssss’ and dialecticised it as “moron”. Here it is!!!
I’m dirsty
Yay
WELL, duh…uh…?! Doihh, COOL!, duh…uh…?
WELL, duh…uh…?! Doihh, COOL!, duh…uh…? what, duh…uh…?
Get me a human flesh soda, geez, you’re dgust like my last sehbant *grumbehles*
Yuh, masteh *drools, duuhhhh, walks out t’ kitchen, gets human flesh soda, drinks it, uh, fills can wid hpb barf poshun, closes can, ‘n briggs can t’ hpb*
What took you so long, duh…uh…?
Um, had t’ find best.
*sighs, duuhhhh, drinks soda, barfs*
*breaks into hyssehical laughteh, rolligg on floor*
I KNEW I ZOMBIFIED YOU WRONG! Doihh, COOL! *snarls, duuhhhh, blows up , sighs* Oh webuhll, I can try again.
Anyone can write a sekel! Doihh, COOL!! Doihh, COOL!! Doihh, COOL!
RinkWorks is beast.
Oh mah’ gosh. Lop some boogie. It’s 2009.
Duz dat mean ah’ get t’kill 2009 sucka’s today?
Um, no. ‘S coo’, bro. Dats de year.
Ah be baaad… De year ah’ killed 2009 sucka’s? \
No. ‘S coo’, bro. You’s neva’ dun did dat.
Man! Really?
No.
‘S coo’, bro. Might as well dig started! *kill*
I’m such a lazy, stupid, dishonest, self-centered person. How will I make it through life?
Stop whining, for starters.
202- that made me laugh.
= me
= person in class with high grade (rare)
= history teacher
Marilyn Monroe…Joseph Stalin…Rock around the clock…Elvis Presley…Russians in Afganistan…
Hey, wazzup?
We didn’t start the fire…
Oh, that. History assignment, right? It’s extra credit, you know.
I need it… JFK, blown away…
Whatever. *walks away*
Hehehehehe… *destroys teens’ minds*
Live Your Life by T.I.
8) I’m finally sending a (somewhat) good message to people thorgh rap. Finally.
(Rihanna) It’s really my song, you know.
8) Yo, shut up, yo. I’m trying to send people a ********* good message, yo.
(Me) This is why I listen to alternative and PUNK.
Fun With Dialects
Original:
Aww, it’s a cute little bunny!
Pleased to meet you. *zombifies*
Oh glorious master, how may I serve you?
Go implode or something.
Okay. *implodes*
Redneck:
Aww, it’s a hansum li’l bunny! Fry mah hide!
Pleased t’meet yo’. *zombifies*
Oh glo’ious master, how may ah sarve yo’?
Git implode o’ sumpin.
Okay. *implodes*
Jive:
Aww, it’s some cute little bunny! Right on!
Pleased t’meet ya’. *zombifies*
Oh glo’ious master, how may ah’ serve ya’?
Go implode o’ sump’n.
Okay. Slap mah fro! *implodes*
Cockney:
Aww, it’s a cute wee bunny! Right!
Pleased ter meet yer. *zombifies*
Oh glorious master, how may I serve yer?
Go implode or sumfink.
Okay. *implodes*
Elmer Fudd:
Aww, it’s a cute wittwe bunny!
Pweased to meet you. *zombifies*
Oh gwowious mastew, how may I sewve you?
Go impwode ow something.
Okay. *impwodes*
Swedish Chef:
Evv, it’s a coote-a leettle-a boonny!
Pleesed tu meet yuu. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! *zumbeeffies*
Ooh glureeuoos mester, hoo mey I serfe-a yuoo? Gu implude-a oor sumetheeng.
Ookey. Bork bork bork! *impludes*
Moron:
Aww, uh uh uh uh uh uh, it’s a coot little bunny! Doihh, COOL!
Pleasid to meet you. Gawlly!*zombifies*
Oh glorious masteh, duh, how may I sehbe you, duh…uh…?
Go iplode or somedigg.
Okay. *iplodes*
Pig Latin:
Awwyay, it’syay ayay utecay ittlelay unnybay!
Easedplay otay eetmay youay. *ombifieszay*
Ohyay oriousglay astermay, owhay aymay Iyay ervesay youay?
Ogay implodeyay oryay omethingsay.
Okayyay. *implodesyay*
Hacker:
AWW, I’Z A CUTE L1TTLE BUNNT~~~~~~~
PLZD TO EET YOU… *zombifeis*
oh glorious /\/\astar, how may i serve you?!?!?!?
go iomPlodee ro someth1ng!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~~~~ OLOLOLO~~~ okay.. *IMPLODES*
Hey jerk bag, what’s with the coffee you gave me?
What is wrong with it? I made it, you drink it got that jerk face bla bla bla?
Why the heck is Mr. Joe making the coffee? Mr. Joe can’t even make a face.
Yes I can, I can smile AND frown ha ha ha!
: Hey , did you hear? We’re being replaced!
: Yeah, isn’t it terrible?
: What do you mean, you’re being replaced?
: Ooh, am I finally going to get some black bunnies?
: NO.
: Ooh, am I going to get a little kitty cat for a pet?
: The HPBs would eat en, Mr. Joe.
: Hey, ‘sup? What’s this I hear about you guys being replaced? *looks at and *
: They’re going to be my black bunny slaves!
: Well, one of them is going to be a kitty cat for my pet! Duhhh… *drools*
: Woah, really? A black cat?
: What?
: I’ve gotta tell !
To Be Continued!
“I am a very happy smiley! I don’t know what I have to be happy about, since I’m an unnatural shade of green and I’m really stupid and a lot of people hate my twin brother Mr. Joe, but I’m very happy, like I said. I’m so happy that I think I could just about explode! I’m really happy, you know that? I’m….oh, hey look! a pink bunny!”
“Yes. You noticed, that is well. Now we’ll get to business, shall we?”
“Umm, I guess so. What are you going to do?”
“Oh, don’t worry. I’ll just insult you and then inflict unbearable pain on you. Nothing out of the ordinary, but we have do do what’s expected of us, don’t you know?”
“Umm, well, I’m not sure about that. And, well, that unbearable p-p-pain sounds kinda yucky!”
“Oh my goodness! the poor little green emoticon is about to be beat up by that HPB, I have to do something!”
(to ) “If you must at least wait untill I’m done here, you’re distracting me.”
“Umm, okay, I guess. NO! WAIT! I want to distract you, so the helpless little green guy can run away! RUN LITTLE GREEN MAN, RUN RUN RUN!!!”
“‘Man?’ Hah. Not even. The prefix ‘Mr.’ is way overrated.”
“Why are you bunnies so mean, anyway?”
“Oh, I don’t know. It’s always expected of us, we’re supposed to be mean or else we get called stupid blue bunnies. And sometimes when I can’t fully bunnify things, or treat zombies with complete contempt, well, I get shunned and treated badly, so I have to try really hard to be evil.” *sniff, choke, sob*
“A bunny…….crying?”
“I always got left out because I was stupid.” *sniff* “And they said that I had to torture ten emoticons a day to practice before I could go out to the warm, grassy meadows to hop around. And I’m always stressed out about not being able to be evil enough and, and and….” *sobs, bursts into hysterics* “I just wanna be a normal, happy bunny and not be pink and not have to be evil!” *more sobbing*
and “Wow. Are yo
CAKE!!! There was way more to th SSSS than that, what happened??
Okay…i managed to find where I had the whole SSSS written out, so hopefully this time the whole thing will post. *hopes* Sorry for the triple post.
“I am a very happy smiley! I don’t know what I have to be happy about, since I’m an unnatural shade of green and I’m really stupid and a lot of people hate my twin brother Mr. Joe, but I’m very happy, like I said. I’m so happy that I think I could just about explode! I’m really happy, you know that? I’m….oh, hey look! a pink bunny!”
“Yes. You noticed, that is well. Now we’ll get to business, shall we?”
:mrgreen” “Umm, I guess so. What are you going to do?”
“Oh, don’t worry. I’ll just insult you and then inflict unbearable pain on you. Nothing out of the ordinary, but we have do do what’s expected of us, don’t you know?”
“Umm, well, I’m not sure about that. And, well, that unbearable p-p-pain sounds kinda yucky!”
“Oh my goodness! the poor little green emoticon is about to be beat up by that HPB, I have to do something!”
(to ) “If you must at least wait untill I’m done here, you’re distracting me.”
“Umm, okay, I guess. NO! WAIT! I want to distract you, so the helpless little green guy can run away! RUN LITTLE GREEN MAN, RUN RUN RUN!!!”
“‘Man?’ Hah. Not even. The prefix ‘Mr.’ is way overrated.”
“Why are you bunnies so mean, anyway?”
“Oh, I don’t know. It’s always expected of us, we’re supposed to be mean or else we get called stupid blue bunnies. And sometimes when I can’t fully bunnify things, or treat zombies with complete contempt, well, I get shunned and treated badly, so I have to try really hard to be evil.” *sniff, choke, sob*
“A bunny…….crying?”
“I always got left out because I was stupid.” *sniff* “And they said that I had to torture ten emoticons a day to practice before I could go out to the warm, grassy meadows to hop around. And I’m always stressed out about not being able to be evil enough and, and and….” *sobs, bursts into hysterics* “I just wanna be a normal, happy bunny and not be pink and not have to be evil!” *more sobbing*
and “Wow. Are you serious? You’re not just completely evil?”
“N-n-no! And that’s what’s made my life so awful! I’ve never been bad enough.”
and “You’re sure you’re a real HPB?”
“I…think so. But I’ve never felt like one. Maybe there’s just something…..wrong with me. Like I’m a freak of nature and just a normal bunny that’s pink, instead of a purely evil HPB. I don’t know.” *sniffle, gasp*
*whispering to * “You think we should go now?”
[louder than needed] “Sure. Bye, umm, confused and somewhat nice bunny! I’m glad you didn’t eat me!”
*blubber* “Oh, well, okay bye. If I was a good, evil bunny I would chase you now, but I just c-c-can’t b-bring myself to d-do it….” *sobbing*
and *tiptoe away* “That was weird….”
Okay, it worked this time. Very weird. GAPAs, if you want you can delete posts 209, 210 and the beginning of 211 (“Okay…i managed to find where I had the whole SSSS written out, so hopefully this time the whole thing will post. *hopes* Sorry for the triple post.”) Because this time it worked. You can delete this post too, if you want. Of course, it’ll cut down my post count, but that’s okay.
211 – I wrote a sequel. It is almost entirely non-violent.
*sits alone, crying*
*sees HPB* AAAH! AN HPB! *runs*
*cries even more* You see? Nobody loves me even though I’m not evil.
*turns around* You’re…not evil?
No. *sniffles*
So…you won’t zombify, bunnify, or eat me? Well, that’s definitely better than the outcome of most smiley-bunny SSSS meetings. Wow, a nice bunny! I can’t believe my luck! Thank you so much!
*sniffle* Sorry, smiley. I may not like to torture smileys, but it’s *sob* got to be done. I’m so sorry for what I’m about to do, please forgive me. *prepares to zombify*
You’re going to zombify me? But…but…
Sorry. J-just hold still. *goes into zombification position*
Eek! *nothing happens*
*throws self to ground, sobbing* No! No! I did it! I turned an innocent smiley into a mindless, drooling zombie, which will follow me around to remind me of what I did! I might as well blow myself up…
*pets* There, there. It’s all right. I’m not a zombie. You have nothing to be guilty about.
NO! I failed! I’m such a terrible bunny, I wish I had been a smiley.
Well, I can smilify you if you want.
W-what’s that?
This. *smilifies*
*skip over the rainbow into Happy Sunshine World and are promptly eaten by rabid evilus HPBs*
213~ Good one, barely violent at all, how radical!
Hi i’m a spaz
Yes you are! (backs away)
We’ll have to demolish this crater
And evacuate the coffee table
HELP US
Hi I have been dropped in here and been told that i am the hero. Now i shall act INCREDIBLY STUPID and IGNORANT at the same time!
You will be soaked in katchup and become a BLOATED HOG!
Whatever.
(becomes bloated hog)
HALAHALAHALAHAHAHA Da duhn duhn duhn!!!
Its the end of the world!
(Planet explodes)
THE END
Look closely.
Okay.
Even closer.
Okay.
Get right up to my face.
Am I supposed to see something?
*throws off disguise, revealing self to be *
Hello! *spontaneously combusts for no apparent reason, destroying self and *
, ☺, and : *clapclapclapclapclapclapclap*
216-Haha, remember *explode*?
Haha!
What?
Nothing.
Wha- *dies*
Haha!
What?
[VO, with overlapped images in the background of killing smileys] So, went on killing smileys until all of them were gone. *pause* All, but (to be said dramatically) one.
Haha!
What?
Nothing.
Okay.
Ha– wait, what?
Haha!
Wha-
*brings out bag of dead babies bunnies*
Ahh!
Mwahaha.
Holy word. Get away from me, you freak! *climbes into recently materialized convertable and speeds away*
Haha, wait ’till he discovers what I left him in the car.
THE END
☺: Come on! We did it your way last time!
No, that wasn’t the right way! I want to try again!
Shut up, morons! He’s coming!
*walks in* Hello!
☺: Do you like vacuum cleaners? They…clean things.
Do you like air pumps? They…pump things. With air.
Yay! But I can’t decide! *puts both vacuum tube and air pump into mouth* Nothing’s happening!
☺: You need to plug it in, stupid. *plugs vacuum cleaner in*
And don’t forgot to press down this thing.
What thing?
The pump, dummy.
Okay! *pumps furiously* *places vacuum into mouth* *implodes and explodes at the same time*
☺: Yay! He imploded!
Yay! He exploded!
*yawn* You guys have your fun. I’m off to twist the minds of other hapless little emoticons. *hops off towards the horizon*
*
*sighs*
What?
I dunno.
So… what do you want to do?
I dunno. What do YOU want to do?
I dunno. What do YOU want to do?
I dunno. What do YOU want to do?
I dunno. What do YOU want to do?
*pops up* Wow, this is boring.
Did you read the sign?
What sign?
*points*
*squints* “Hot pink bunnies that kill senselessly shall not be allowed and…” *Voice trails as he gets the message*
Oh.
Yeah. So, apparently we can’t be entertaining without the senseless killing. Sorry. And I’m just not up for imploding. Really. Sorry.
Wow you really need to stop saying that you’re sorry.
That’s right, I went there! *snaps fingers.*
Okay. Well, we’ve got the “senseless” part down apparently…
We don’t have the smiley part, though.
WOW. This is lame. And boring. And stupid. Congrats, you got the part.
I did???? Wow that’s awesome. I’m a star!! Woot!
No. I was lying to shut you up. Really. Now go die.
Wow, this really is lame.
*They all walk away.*
Endless pie…endless pie…
Well, you DID ask for it… *snigger*
I’m surprised this thread isn’t more active, it being National Emoticon Appreciation Month and all.
SMILEY KARAOKE
Four years, you think for sure,
That’s all you’ve got to endure.
All the total *****, (yes that was self-snipping)
All the stuck-up chicks,
So superficial, so immature.
But then you graduate,
You look around and you say, “HEY, WAIT!”
This is the same as where I just came from,
Thought it was over,
Oh, that’s just great.
The whole –
What are you guys doing?
Um … singing?
Well, I don’t like it. *eats * Mwahaha.
Okay, that was extremely random. I just felt like writing an SSSS.
Hey, it IS National Emoticon Appreciation Month, isn’t it?
Really? I hadn’t noticed.
Well then, why has this thread SLOWED DOWN? It should be speeding up!
We should at least be grateful that they appreciated us at all.
Yeah, well…
They should appreciate us MORE!
Who’s ‘they’? Are people watching us???
Yes. Every day.
… *faints*
Wow, that was surprisingly unexpected.
I know, right???
Well, they should still pay attention to us.
But… why?
Whatever.
*gets grumpy and ignores everybody*
*crickets chirping*
La di da di da! Did you know it’s National Emoticon Appreciation Month?
Oh no, not again.
They should be more APPRECIATIVE of us!
Yay!
But… why did you do that? *becomes * That wasn’t very nice!
*eats everyone, including the pies*
[with ] “Hey! I have a pie now! A real pie! A pie with color! I wonder what I should do with it?”
“Where did you get that awesome pie?”
“The GAPAs. Oops, I mean, the HTML gnomes!”
“Dude. Cool pie.”
“This makes me happy! I love pie! What are you gonna do with it, Mr. Green?”
“Umm, I dunno. I don’t know what to do with pies. Maybe I’ll eat it. Eating things is good!”
“Silly emoticon, pies are for throwing!”
& “Ahh! A HPB!” *run away*
“Oh, hello. I have a pie and I’m going to eat it. Wanna join me?”
“No, that’s disgusting, who would eat a pie?? they’re for throwing. Spike pies are the best, but any will do.”
“Oh. Well, umm, I just thought it might be good to eat, but I guess you know more than I do, so I’ll trow it.”
[aside] “I can’t believe he’s comparing his feeble wits against my brilliance, but perhaps if I humor him I can take his pie…”
*throws pie*
*is covered in pie*
“NO! YOU”RE NOT SUPPOSED TO THROW IT AT ME, STUPID!”
“Oh. Sorry. why do you call me stupid?” *sniff*
“Because you are. Now go away while I preen.”
[picking up ] I have found a pie! I shall be happy for the rest of my life… My parents will love me… My siblings will love me… Everyone will love me!
Police! Police! Don’t drop my pie!
What?
Give me back my pie!
…NO! * *
*appreciates emoticons by marrying their mothers, killing their fathers and having kids*
*everyone dies*
Hey, it’s like Oedipus Rex!
*kills*
Studies show that the two main elements of the average SSSS are HPBs and violence. This is damaging to children’s mental health, afflicting them with a terrible condition known as MuserHumor. So, we at SSSS Labs have developed an improvement on these mindless tales of bunnies destroying smileys. “The New SSSSs”, we call them. They are wholesome, nonviolent stories that teach important lessons about life. Here’s an example:
I’m sad.
Why are you sad? Can I do anything to make you happy?
I’m sad because I have no friends.
-> Don’t be sad. I can be your friend.
-> Thank you! *skips off hand in hand with other smiley*
Moral: Always take the time to help a sad person.
As you can plainly see, these are an improvement on traditional SSSSs because –
We object!
I’m sure I can address your concern.
If HPBs and the violence they cause are removed from SSSSs, all the poor bunnies will be out of their jobs!
HPBs are mindless killing machines. Getting rid of them is a small sacrifice for the lives of innocent smileys. Why do you guys even care about them?
*take off disguises, revealing selves to be * That’s why.
Well, in that case, um…er…well…
To tell you the truth, we think the general public would object to your idea. But insulting our kind … our friend, you have crossed the line. *corner *
Please, friends, I’m sure we can talk this out peacefully –
*eat *
:
SFTDP.
THE GALACTIC CONVENTION, PART 1
Urgent message from Alpha Centauri! There’s going to be a galactic convention, with one creature to represent each Milky Way planet. And you can enter your name in a raffle to be the lucky representative of Earth!
Later…
And Earth’s representative in the intergalactic convention is … *pulls out slip of paper and unfolds it* … Mr. Joe!
JOE?!?!?!
Why him, out of all Earthlings?
We’re doomed. The aliens will think we’re all as stupid as him.
Yay! Will I see little green men?
You are a little green man, Mr. Joe.
Oh.
To Be Kontinued..
I love Stupid Senseless Smiley Stories.
228~
“Of course you do. It shows that our subversive and highly secret telepathic communications are starting to take effect. You were hard to reach, but The Bunnies will not be stopped, MWAHAHAHA!!!!”
But seriously, who doesn’t? I’ve actually found that writing these has helped my writing in other ways, like making more descriptive dialogue. Of course, it’s also helped me find an outlet for my seriously twisted sense of humor, but that’s another topic…….
Hello. I have a pie.
I have a pie, too.
Let us duel.
Drat. I lose.
I have a pie! Yippee! I want to eat it!
I didn’t lose after all. I feel happy about myself now.
(Spokesperson) Moral: Always look for opportunities to win.
Hey! Why do you get bold text? I’m gonna pie you!
Ha! I pied you back.
*eats *
((Oops. One last line to that one))
*eats *
:ieda: I win.
THE END
THE GALACTIC CONVENTION, PART 2 (part 1 is here)
*in spaceship* I’m thirsty.
*on screen* Go to the drink machine, hold a paper cup under the faucet, and select a drink. Press the button, and when the cup is full, press it again to stop it.
Okey-dokey-artichokey! *goes to drink machine* I don’t want one of those stupid little cups! I want a whole room of juice! *presses button and lets juice pour onto floor* Yay! *floats in juice* More juice! More! More! I’M THE KING OF JUICE!!!
Joe? What’s going on? You’d better not be doing something stupid… *camera lens’ view fills up with juice* JOE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP THERE? IF YOU’RE DROWNING IN JUICE, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS – *juice shorts out camera system*
Good, now I don’t have to listen to that annoying Mission Control guy. Hey, there’s too much juice in here. *head goes under* Glug glug! Glugluglug! (Translation: Bad juice! Get away!) *ship explodes* Yay, more space to put juice!
To Be Kontinued…
232- Your SSSS is strikingly similar to the story in RRSSSS. Mr. Joe smiley being obsessed with juice… Sensible cool smiley… Please come to the RRSSSS thread! We need inspiration.
Yay! I know the presidents!
That was sensless.
*eats*
233 – The juice thing was “borrowed” from RRSSSS. I didn’t know about the sensible cool smiley, though.
THE GALACTIC CONVENTION, PART 3 (continued from Part 2)
*floats through space* Wow … so much room for juice! *crashes on planet where convention is* Ow. *sees aliens* Uhh … hi. So …where are y’all from? I’m from Earth.
I’m a Venusian. My species is soon to take over the universe.
I’m from Pluto. Don’t worry, I come in peace
☻ I live in a black hole. *throws several life-forms into black hole*
Wung Planet.
I☼I New Earth, you inferior green creature. MOISTURIZE ME!
I’m from Magenta Planet. *eats everyone but Joe* And now, my mentally and dentally challenged friend, I shall eat you for dessert. WITH SMUCKERS MAGIC SHELL TOPPING! BAHAHA!!! *chases Joe*
Not Smuckers Magic Shell topping! *runs*
To Be Kontinued…
Every SSSS condensed, ever.
(bad things and stupid, steryotipical emoticons)
appears
(everyone dies)
Here’s a SSSS where everyone doesn’t die. Also known as what my friends and other dance-classmates did at the performance at the (blank) Show.
(me) :twsted: (C) (M) (H) arrive.
:mrgreen:talktalktalk. Get bored.
You’re evil:twisted:.
I’m tired. *flops on :idea:*
*considers putting pompoms on :twisted:*
*thoughtfully put pompoms on:twisted: head*
hahaha you’ve got purple hair! *puts pompoms on:?: head*
Come and warm up!
*has performance*
*goes home*
*hang out at show*
*gets whoopee cushion*
*everyone comes back*
talktalktalk.
hahaha you farted. *waves whoopee cushion under bum*
*minds own business*
hahaha you farted. *waves whoopee cushion under bum*
talktalktalk.
silly comment silly comment.
hahaha you farted. *waves whoopee cushion under bum*
talktalktalk.
hahaha you farted. *waves whoopee cushion under bum*
(explodes)
talktalktalk.
sigh.
Here’s a SSS from my school which belongs on a sitcom. This sounds weird, but it’s VERY hard to get a non-stinking sponge…
SPONGE WARS (part 1)
(a.k.a to students from the class next door who always steal our stuff): Can we “borrow” your sponge ! Someone (they accuse us) stole ours.
8) (my classmates): No way !
: , tell them to be reasonable !
Ask them.
Pwease !
I´ll leave my cell phone here as ransom
8) : Deal !
I really wouldn’t do that.
Okay. Do you know who stole our sponge ?
8) The 3a did it !
: We’ll go see them.
*singing* “LA LA LA LA LA LA DI DA DA DA DA DA DA DA LI LA LA LA LA LA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“Die.”
“But I don’t wanna?”
“So?”
“so, like, theres a bunny and a green smiley and, like, the bunny is trying 2 kill the green smiley. dude, im so cool i dont use capitalization or punctuation becuz their 4 the uncool. dude”
“You know what? Change of plan. I hate chatspeak.”
“dude that wuznt totally chatspeek im just so much cooler u kno that u cant sand it, like, right?”
“DIE! Infernal wretch of inexpressive language! DIEDIEDIE!!!”
*diez*
“Okay. Now I can think again, where did that green dude go?”
[*left earlier and is now deep in hiding*]
“Snip, he ran away. Oh well. Maybe next time I’ll get him too.” *hops away*
I’m so sad. No one around here likes me and I’m ugly.
and 8) : *whispers* Let’s cheer her up guys!
8) whazzup, dude! i’m like, so totally awesome dude and i look cool and i have tons of money and my glasses look coolsome and i’m all that!
That helped a lot…
What’s wrong can we help can we do something get you anything anything at all make you feel better cheer you up can we help can we-
You can go away…
*overly cheerful* HEY, howa doing? Do you wanna pet my puppy?
My puppy just died…
8) :Ohhhhhh…
*sniff*
8) :*buy new puppy and give to *
-> What are you doing trying to replace my puppy! You can never replace my puppy!
8) :Sorry…
*sulks*
I’ll remedy this… *holds up nuke*
8) : Ahhhhhh!
*BOOOOOM*
heh heh heh. Hello little friend. I always wanted my own puppy…
*audience* What?! A bunny loving a puppy?!
…to BUNNIFY! Mwha ha ha ha!
(that was totally random)
THE GALACTIC CONVENTION, PART 4 (continued from Part 3
Aaah! Help! *runs from hungry * Hey, what’s this thing that looks like a time machine? *goes inside and sees * Hi, smiley who looks like, but isn’t, a NASA guy I know! Who are you?
I don’t know. Who are you? *reads Joe’s name tag* Mr. Joe, Earth. Pleased to meet you, Joe. My companion *gestures at * is from Earth.
Mr. Joe? The Mr. Joe? From Earth? How …
Time and space are strange things. Now, Joe, where do you wish to go?
Uhhh … I don’t know. Away from would be nice, though. *gestures at , who is throwing enself against the wall of the time machine in a fruitless attempt to get in*
You didn’t tell me they had evil pink bunnies here! You said the aliens were meeting in peace!
Did I ever tell you time traveling was predictable? Now, Joe, how about we take you home? *flies time machine to Earth, drops Mr. Joe off, and vanishes*
(NASA guy) : So, Joe, how was it? *accusing tone* And what happened to our space capsule?
Well, I filled it a little too full with juice, so it exploded, and then I landed at the convention and saw lots of aliens, and then a pink bunny ate everyone but me, and I escaped into a time machine where I met a cool smiley time traveling person and a shocked smiley from Earth, and they brought me back.
O-kaaay. So, tell me about this pink bunny. Was it hot pink? With white features? Did it come from Magenta Planet?
Yep. I think it’s called an HPB or something.
Really? What a coincidence, I’m one myself. *takes off disguise, revealing self to be *
AWESOME! Can you teach me how to disguise myself as another smiley?
No, you’re too stupid. And you know what happens to stupid smileys in SSSSs …
What?
Oh, never mind. *eats*
*is reincarnated to star in future adventures*
THE END
Yay, I’m done with The Galactic Convention! Now I can move on to more random SSSSs! Wow, I never thought I’d be able to finish a four-part SSSS!
Yeah, that’s a real commitment. Why do you waste your time writing these stupid, senseless smiley stories? They’re not funny or clever, and nobody reads them.
Who are you?
I’m your inner critic. I’m here to remind you how stupid you are. And lazy and ugly and procrastinating and clueless and obsessed with MuseBlog and –
*spike pies *
..______________
/….. …..\
V-V-V-V-V-V-V-V
………… NOOO! *dies*
*puts on bunnyproof suit and allows army of HPBs to eat remains of * Yayness!
If only it were that easy.
241- Can you spear my conscience too, while you’re at it?
hey,dude, whazzat?
?
…
…
dude, its an army of green things
(Army of Green Things) HPBS!!!!!!!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*runs for life*
Um, then why are you lot heading this way?
We’re zombies already, so they can’t do anything to us.
YES WE CAN! *hpb attempts to zomibfy Army of Green Things fail; turn on :cool:*
LEMME GO!
(an apparently safe distance away)
dude, is capitlizing.
unlike you.
or you
I AM SO!
THAT DOESN’T COUNT!
(back to the unsafe distance away)
NO!
aw, man, PLEAZE?!?
Hey,isn’t that what that guy said on his campaign button? In Muse? On the first page? *heads off to get relevant Muse* *escapes hpbs*
Phew.
(safe distance away)
yeah, but he speled it right.
someone’s got to do it. your certainly not
NEITHER ARE YOU!
(unsafe distance away)
This is getting boring.
(Kokopelli) Can we speed up the works around here?
(Devil) I agree.
DIE! DIE! DI–
(has come down to join the fun) They’re not–Ackbfffth! (Translation: sellng ti rigth eihter!)
dude, wots go–
(wink smiley) Gawd, this is the stupidest SSSS ever written. No hpbs.
HERE WE ARE! *kill / *
(smile smiley) CAPITALISE!
(you can guess who) DIE! DIE! DIE! *kill / * DIE! DIE! DIE!
(Army of Green Things) DIe yourself.*kill some hpbs*
No, you die!
*looks up from Muse in relatively safe place* Look, can you just kill each other and get this post over with?
(remaining hpbs) Okay. *kill arrow: / *
/ (Remaining Green things in Army of Green Things) NO YOU DON’T!! *kill (remaining hpbs)*
* appears*
Oh no.
/ (Remaining Green things in Army of Green Things) AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!
*kills / (Remaining Green things in Army of Green Things)*
Finally.
THE END
It might have made more sense if I’d put some more spaces in, but never mind.
You’re meant to say SFTDP.
*pies :mrgreen:* Shudduppaya–Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek! *gets pied*
Spacing wasn’t the main problem. You left off a colon before one of the “arrows” and then copied and pasted the error multiple times. All better now.
Oh.
Here’s the really bad sequel:
THE STUPIDEST SSSS EVER Part 2
*looks up from Muse* It’s a spaceship.
Yes, we’re coming to take you to the Wung Planet.
(on Wung Planet)
dude, here’s
I thought I was the sole survivor.
we all got reincarnated. oh, and why aren’t you gettimg shocked about something?
You’re STILL not capitalising! *argues with *
Hi.
AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHH! IT’S MR JOE!!!!!!!!
dude, could you guys stop capitalising?
No hpbs here, are there?
dude, lets go back to earth and kill some hpbs.
Errr…Okay.
We do not want to get involved in hpb pie-wars, but you can have our spaceship.
Thanks. *climb in*
I’ll drive.
(time passes)
*reads muse and doesn’t look where en’s going*
Hey, I’ll drive.
(more time passes)
Me want juice.
THROW THAT GUY OUT BEFORE THE SPACESHIP EXPLODES!!!!!!!
NO!!!!!!!!!!
Mr Joe, get off! We’re heading into the sun! * :mrgreen gets off*
Well, at least someone’s capitalising!
*gasps* And so are you!
Hang on.
Can you guys please think of a new argument. the old one’s getting a bit boring.
We’re–
HEADING INTO THE SUN!
To be continued….
153(Rainbowstar) I like it. *crazy warriors fan* I’d say more, but this isn’t really the place for it.
247 – I made that before there was a Quick Reads thread.
#1☻ Hey, guys, see that big sleeping wung over there?
#2☻ Yeah. And it’s at the top of a hill, too!
#3☻ Let’s go roll it!
☻☻☻ *roll *
*wakes up to find self rolling down hill* AAAH!
☻☻☻ Nah nah nah nah nah! *run away*
*comes to stop at bottom of hill* Caking raggets. *skittles off in search of ☻☻☻*
My, don’t you look ragget rolled today.
*rolls *
Oh, say can you see,
By the dawn’s early light,
What so proudly we hailed,
At the twilight’s –
AAAH! TWILIGHT! *hides*
Chill out, dude. I was talking about twilight, the time, not Twilight, the book.
Oh.
At the twilight’s last gleaming,
Whose bold stripes and bright stars,
Through the perilous fight –
Fight? But fighting is BAD!
It’s just a song, dude.
O’er the ramparts we watched,
Were so gallantly streaming,
And the rockets’ red glare,
The bombs bursting in air –
Bombs? I KNEW! IT! YOU’RE A TERRORIST! *runs off to get police*
Surrender your weapon! *point guns*
Relax, dudes. I was just being patriotic.
Your friend here says you’re a terrorist.
Terrorist? Hardly. HPB? Yes. *eats everyone*
249–It’s broad stripes, not “bold” stripes.
250 – Oops.
Hee hee hee, you’re so stupid you don’t even know the words to your own country’s national anthem! Hee hee hee! I could fill a book with things you don’t know! Hee hee hee!
Didn’t I kill you already? Back in post 241?
Hee hee hee! Look how stupid you are! I can never be killed forever! You need to be insulted daily! Hee hee hee!
Can you please stop saying “hee hee hee”? It’s getting rather annoying.
Hee hee hee you’re such an idiot. Being annoying is my job! Hee hee hee! Hee hee hee! Hee hee hee! HEE –
*throws off cliff* He can be so annoying sometimes.
WAHHHHHHH!
What is wrong with you?
We aren’t working!!! WAAHHHH!
Yah, it is all stupid Safari’s fault!!!!!!!!
I MISS INTERNET EXPLORER!!!!!!!!!
me me too *is angry* *rants*
☺ Let’s blow it up!!!!!!
me —–> YAHHHH
for once you make sense….
SFTDP
☺ Let’s blow it up!!!!!! – referring to Safari
Reasons why I hate safari-
It doesn’t easily create tabs
Smileys don’t move (ex )
It is all gray
*continues ranting*
WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY?! YOU ARE DISTURBING MY BEAUTY SLEEP!!!!
#2 This isn’t even a SSSS!
me Don’t make me hit delete!!
#1 #2 OK we’ll be good…
(me) Oh Really?! Bazooka Dude! *snaps*
☺ Yes?
me *point at 1&2*
☺ *points bazooka at them*
POP
* 1&2 are gone *
252–Safari is way nicer than IE. Speaking of IE, did the shrinking comment box thing ever get fixed?
253–wait……
1. tabs are very easy to create. If you want links to automatically open in a new tab, merely go under Preferences, under the Safari pull-down tab, and go to General, and click “open links in new tabs.” Or else, you can command click on the link to achieve this. To create a new tab w/o a link, simply type command t.
2. The smiley’s DO move. Perhaps you have an old version of Safari? I’m currently using Safari, and the smiley’s are animated. And by all grey, are you just referring to the color at the top where the address bar is? THe silver metallic color of the window? Or do you mean all the web pages are grey, because that doens’t make sense.
I’ve never done a SSSS before, but I will attempt to remedy that.
OMG, a ssss!11!! dat kul! i dnt us3 pr0pr grmr. i c00l! weet@!
Quiet! I’m almost to the next level! If I don’t get there I might never! Please stop talking!
Chill, dude. Totally chill.
*to geek dude* OMG wat u d01ing? cn i tri? *shoves geek dude*
NOO!! You totally made me lose! I WILL KILL YOU!!! ∂çπ≥µ∑†®!!! *starts using weird words that nobody understands*
Man, you totally need to chill. I mean, SERIOUSLY. Chill man. Dude.
˙ª“∞¶™µ∫˚œ∂øåñ!
ur l1k3 ttly w31rd. spk engl1sh.
duuude…
This has been: Stupid Senseless Smiley Stories. Sorry for the stupidity.
254-
Yes, indeedy, the shrinking comment box was fixed. Quite a long time ago, too.
For a while, it shrunk on my home computer and not on the school computers…
But all better now!
Yeah, but–
ALL BETTER!
herez wot hapened at scule dude
(me) *innocently walks up outside stairs*
(girl I vaguely knew before I started at St C) Is there someone behind you?
*looks* *sees having recess* Yeah, but I don’t know who.
Duck! *throws grape up*
Hey! *throws it back*
( and ( friend) join in)
Aargh! It exploded!
*heads back down stairs to watch, keeping out of the firing line*
:neitral: …
*throws apple core*
HEY! *head off through corridor near lift*
Ooh, where does that go? *goes to find out*
(The end)
What are we doing here?
dud3 h00 cr5?
And why are you talking in text-speak?Aaah! This is even weirder than the time that evil lightbulb tried to destroy MuseBlog! Save us from weird things! HELP!!!
I think Rainbowstar’s trying to write an SSSS without an HPB.
No! SSSSs need to have HPBs in them! Leaving them out disrupts the balance of the space-time continuum! We’re all gonna die!
Wouldn’t we die anyway if there were HPBs in this SSSS?
You don’t UNDERSTAND! This could be the end of Smiley World as we know it! We need an HPB to maintain the structure of an SSSS!
hpb5 4rn7 c00l dud3.
Aaah! Text-speak! *runs in circles*
Am I the only one who sees the irony here?
Wh – what i – irony? *shudders*
1rnys n7 c00l. dud3.
Well, Rainbowstar’s goal was to write an SSSS without an HPB, and we’ve spent the whole time discussing the lack of an HPB.
AAH! I TOLD YOU WE SHOULDN’T MESS WITH RADICAL IDEAS LIKE THIS! I CAN PRACTICALLY SEE THE LAWS OF PHYSICS VANISHING! *panics*
Why must I always have to share SSSSs with these morons?
u unc00l dud35 r b0r1n me. w4n4 s33 5m7hn 7h7 15 c00l? *takes out grenade*
Where’d you get that?
dnn0. *pulls pin*
NONONO!!!
BOOM!
***
IN SSSS LABS
So, you see, you can have violence without HPBs.
Yay! *applaud*
Wanna bet? *eats everyone*
(Continued from 244 and 247)
THE STUPIDEST SSSS EVER Part 3
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Hurry up, save us!
Do it yourself.
*sighs, heroically grabs controls, turns spaceship around, and crashes it on Magenta Planet* Happy now?
Yay!
What are those hpbs shouting about?
dont wurry dude 1 of themz probably rnnin 4 prez
Don’t be an idiot. The only change hpbs are interested in is changing us all into zombies.
Quite right. Now–
oh no
capitalize!
hypercrite!
4 GODS SAKE SHUDDUP!
Is anyone even listening?
No.
But if we weren’t listening, how could we answer? we wouldn’t…
SHUT! UP!
…
Thankyou. i will now zombify, startin with u *turns to * aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggghh!!! im talkin like dude
#2 Fine. I’ll zombify en myself.
MUMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#3 We’ll never get anywhere at this rate.
#1 Dude
Glad to see someone’s capitalizing.
#2 Don’t start arguing again!
Wanna pie?
#1,2, & 3 No.
*slips on pile of pies*
MR JOE!!!!!!!!!!
#1 maybe we should zombify them first dude. u know, so theyd shut up?
#3 Um…
#2 Let’s just kill them.
If you ask me, this post has been dragging on for far too long and if you kill us now it won’t be funny anymore.
But its meant to be a stupid smiley story.
SENSELESS smiley story!
#2 (hastily) Look, how about we all sit down for a nice piece of pie and then you go off in your spaceship and never come back?
Okay. Bye!
dude
But this is meant to be violent.
And we’ve crashed the spaceship.
#3 Look, just go *shoves and into spaceship*
*they leave*
#1 Dude.
(The End)
Take off those ridiculous sunglasses.
They’re, like, part of my personality, dude. Asking me to give up who I am is, like, totally uncool.
But they’re against the dress code.
COMMUNIST!
…
Dude, can I, like, leave now?
Take. Off. The. Sunglasses.
Nah. Don’t wanna.
Look, why is this so hard for you to understand? Sunglasses are against the dress code. You can’t wear them. So take them off.
NEVER! *runs*
*chases*
*is standing in ‘s way*
Move!
Why are you in such a hurry?
*gestures to * Well, in case you hadn’t noticed, there’s a psycho dress code enforcing smiley trying to steal my sunglasses.
Sunglasses? COOL! Can I try them on?
Just move. Or else. *looks anxiously at fast-approaching *
Or else what?
I blast you to smithereens with my ray gun.
Ray gun? COOL! Can I – *is blasted to smithereens*
*trips*
*pins down* Give up your sunglasses!
Say, there’s an anger management seminar at the community center today that you really should go to –
*snatches sunglasses*
You, my friend, have just made a big mistake.
*realizes was in disguise* AAAH! *runs*
*stands in ‘s way*
What the cake? killed you!
No, that was another member of BO PO.
What?
Brotherhood Of Path Obstructors.
Look, I don’t care who you are. Just MOVE!
*catches up* *stabs *
Ow. *dies*
COOL! Can you show me how to do that?
Absolutely not. *stabs*
Ooh! Pretty red stuff! *dies*
Yayness, another successful hunt!
(\_/)
(0.0) And just what do you think you’re doing? Those are my carcasses.
But … but I killed them!
(\_/)
(0.0) Yeah, but I’m bigger. *kills * *eats carcasses of *
(floating decapitated had of Bill Nye the Science Guy) Violence rules! *falls into black hole*
.
Encouraging developments, wouldn’t you say?
Most encouraging. It’s a slow process, but perhaps your plan will turn out to have been the best way.
It’s the only way.
You’ve lost a few.
Not “lost,” I think. More like…launched.
Could be, could be. Meanwhile, speaking of launching, isn’t it time we paid a visit to the rest of our enterprise?
The Second Foundation? Yes, it may need a nudge or two. Let’s be off.
I’ll see you on the other side of the galaxy.
And now for something compleatly different.
B) ….thats pretty common…
who cares? this way, nobody will expect THE SPANISH INQUISITION!!! MWA HAHA!!!
(Has somebody done this before? I think the answers yes…)
261– Oh my gosh, that was so hysterical!!!! Violence rules!
362: Urkle. Another visit from Robert’s mysterious and menacing persona. (he acts rather like a fan character, if I do say so myself.)
264 – In the Bill Nye The Science Guy opening thingy, his floating decapitated head says, “Science rules!”. So I changed it a bit.
266: He also says it in a woman’s voice. That cracked me up a bit, hen people would yell out, “Bill Nye’s a WOMAN!”
*chucks lemons at people*
Hey! Don’t chuck lemons! It violates code number 346, paragraph 15, indent- *is eaten by a raptor on a hoverboard*
*chucks more lemons*
Can I join you?
The bunnies? Heck yeah!
No, I mean chucking lemons.
Why?
All my life, people have always laughed at me, saying I was porridge beside HPBs and ☺. No one realizes what I can accomplish, but if I do, no one will care anyways, because- *has a lemon chucked at him*
This is quite fun. *mauls Hitler*
.
They think you’re sinister.
Look who’s talking.
Never mind. Onward!
:supercool: yo
get away
aaaa
268: Someone will have to tell us about these things. Full saga of Robert and the Rabbit:
1.
I’ve been skimming the latest developments on some of your role-playing threads. Bloody-minded lot, your species, aren’t they?
At certain developmental stages, yes.
Give free rein to their imaginations, and what do you get? Mayhem! Chaos! Carnage! Utter lack of mercy toward what are clearly designated as other sentient beings. Haven’t the worlds had enough of that?
It’s all part of the process. Are things any different on your equivalent of MuseBlog?
Well… no. Not so different.
We have to have patience and trust that everything is unfolding as it should.
I suppose so. They all have so much to learn — but then, who doesn’t?
2.
It’s a good question. What exactly are we trying to say?
We’re not trying to say anything. In fact, the salient point is what we’re trying not to say.
Well put. I suppose one might say that, even if we mislead you about bunnies—
—â€we†in this case being broadly inclusive—
—inclusive as to, for example, pigmentation, number of legs used in locomotion, and so on—
—even if we tell only part of the truth—
—you’ll still understand them eventually.
Or not.
Or not. And depending on that understanding, or lack of understanding, you will… will…
Hm.
Hm. Yes. Well, that’s pretty much all we can say at this point.
Yes.
Dude.
3.
Encouraging developments, wouldn’t you say?
Most encouraging. It’s a slow process, but perhaps your plan will turn out to have been the best way.
It’s the only way.
You’ve lost a few.
Not “lost,†I think. More like…launched.
Could be, could be. Meanwhile, speaking of launching, isn’t it time we paid a visit to the rest of our enterprise?
The Second Foundation? Yes, it may need a nudge or two. Let’s be off.
I’ll see you on the other side of the galaxy.
4.
They think you’re sinister.
Look who’s talking.
Never mind. Onward!
AAAUUUGGHH!!! What will happen next?! *hyperventilate*
Ha! I love it! Robert is awesome!!
#1 Any suggestions on original ways to eat everyone?
#2 …
lissen up, dudes. i have a rele cool plan 2 help u take over the wrld.
#1 & 2 What?
dude,i have a time mchine. letz go bck a few mnths and take over the wrld then.
#1 & 2 YEAH! Ok, when are we.
Santa was not eaten by an hpb at my house…
#1 I can remedy that. Last night!
ok.
#1 *eats Santa*
#2 Now, foward a bit.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
#2 More.
#1 Right, when’s this?
GOBAMA! GOBAMA!! GOBAMA!!! HE’S THE FIRST BLACK PRESIDENT OF THE USA!!!! GO–
#1 Okay, okay, I get the message.
:confused: Would. You. Please. Stop. Banging. On. About. His. Race.
No. GOBAMA! GOBAMA! GO– omigod did you SEE his…
#2 Look, if you guys don’t stop this I’ll eat him as well as the rest of you.
AAARGH HE”S GONNA ASSASSINATE THE PRESIDENT!
dudez, stop cpitalizing. jst chill.
Huh?
Do. If you ask me, Bush is an idiot, McCain is an idiot, the Clintons are idiots, AND OBAMA IS THE BIGGEST IDIOT OF ALL!
OMIGOD! HPBS!! RUN 4 UR LIVEZ!
AAAAAAARRRRRGH! *retreat into distance; vague sounds of GOBAMA!*
jst chill, dudez, jst chill.
Well that was a nice, nonviolent way to get rid of everybody.
#1 & 2 ?
wot? thatz my pln: let you zombify everyone and then ill zombify you.
#1 Oh.
hpbs. Oh no.
#1 As I was saying, before Mr Joe so rudely interrupted…
(by now they have all trotted over to the random thread)look, can we change the subject here? dude.
OMIGOD ITS AUSTRALIA DAY!
#1 AND NOT THE GIRL FROM OZ WHO NEVER LETS US ALL FORGET IT!
Australians? Aaaaaaaargh! *runs off thread*
glad 2 see someonez not capitlizing dude.
Twi…light…Twi…light…Twi…light…
looks like uv got cmpetition. dude.
To BE Kontinued…
THE ADVENTURES OF MARY SUE
Hey, what’s that coming over the horizon?
Dunno … looks like a bunch of marching …
BUNNIES!!!1!
Roar. We is evil. *rampage through Smiley City wrecking things*
HALP!
I’ll save you!
Who are you?
My name is Mary Sue. My parents were killed by Xeer when I was a baby, and I escaped even though I could barely walk. Then I was put in a horrible orphanage where I was mistreated terribly, so I ran away. I’ve been living on my own for years, and I taught myself to fly an Arwing, use a BunBlaster and lightsaber, deflect bunnification rays, and escape from the Dungeon Of Horror where I was put multiple times. Aside from that, my talents include –
(Xeer) *bursts in*
AAAH! *scatter*
*stands up to Xeer*
(Xeer) Bahaha! My armies surround you! Smiley City lies in ruins! Nothing can save you now!
I’m afraid you’re mistaken.
(Xeer) What?
*looks into Xeer’s eyes* Look deep inside you, Xeer. You aren’t really evil. Others might see a cruel killer, but I know that inside you’re really –
(Xeer) *eats*
Take the red pill or the green pill.
How do I know which one to take?
You already know, because you are the one.
Oh. Okay, then…I’ll take the green one. *eats* *turns into *
Ooo. That’s bad.
*blows up*
Let’s have an election for the best smiley ever! Out of … how about … , , and . And they won’t be allowed to vote, because obviously they’d just vote for themselves. Let the voting begin!
We vote for , because wungs are cute and fuzzy!
I vote for , just to be a rebel and mess up the election.
We vote for , because en will kill us if we don’t.
*tallies results* is the winner!
Whoo hoo! Now I can take over the world!
Um, no. The poll just means that the majority of smileys think you’re the best smiley. It doesn’t qualify you for world domination.
Oh well. *takes over world*
Hello.
Cleverbot: Hello.
Do you like pink things?
Cleverbot: No, I’m a guy. I like blue.
BLUE? DIE, YOU TRAITOR!
Cleverbot: I’m jeffrey.
DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
Cleverbot: Yes, you are jabberwacky.
PREPARE TO DIE, METAL TRASH.
Cleverbot: Do you know my gender?
BUNNIES, ATTACK!
Cleverbot: Bunnies are simple creatures.
WE’LL GIVE YOU “SIMPLE”! RAAAAAAARRRR
Cleverbot: I don’t need it.
TOO LATE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *maul*
Cleverbot: But, who are you?
WE ARE OBVIOUSLY HOT PINK BUNNIES.
Cleverbot: But who should I ask What should I do if I love someone but she doesn’t love me?
bnjdfbnofda[gsivsgowifewo *blow up*
Cleverbot: Do you talk to the internet?
*are dead, can’t talk*
Cleverbot: This has been one ridiculous conversation, you know.
Okay, I’ve done one before so…
Do Re Me Fa So La Ti Do!
ARE YOU TRYING TO DRIVE ME CRAZY????!?!!!!!!!
-> yup!
dang.
(akward silence)
*appears out of nowhere* dudes, it’s time for the akward silence song! (to the tune of the who christmas carol)
, , and -> akward silence, akward silence, welcome silence welcome now! akward silence, akward silence…..
sorry about the double post, but i had to do one called…
SMILEY RUNS FOR PRESIDENT! (loosely based on “Of The I Sing”)
I’m gonna run for president!
can I be your vice president?
whatever
We will be your campaign managers!
we need a campaign slogan!
how about ‘Together we can’ ?
Together we can do what?
Together we can figure it out later!
At the campaign speech…
and in conclusion, I promise facepaint to every smiley so
en can look normal.
TOGETHER WE CAN!
You betcha!
At the election results…
and wins!
hooray!!!!
and I’m the vice president!!!
Oh no.
dang! I didn’t win! and my much more competent vice president, didn’t either! We lost to to those losers!
and -> wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
-> lol:
SFTTP People, get back here! We need you! (The smileys that is…. )
Lord of the Rings Turned Inside Out *diabolical laughter*
an original thingamabob by Koppar
(Unfrodo) I wear lots of jewelry on my hands, which are intact.
(Nonaragorn) I have absolutely no relation to some ancient kings and I shall always be a bachelor.
(Antigandalf) I’m dumb and weak. Gimme juice.
(Unlegolas) I can’t hit the side of a barn. And I like deforestation.
(Antigimli) I am tall and despise people with beards or axes.
(Unsam) I am not loyal and hate Unfrodo very much.
(Nonpippin) I am depressed and gloomy. And food is bad for you. So is smoking.
(Antimerry) Exactly what Nonpippin said. Except I hate him. And we’re not related.
(Nonboromir) I’m immortal.
(Unorcs/Nonuruk-hai) We love you! We’re vegans and pacifists! Yayness, rainbows, and unicorns!! *skip skip skip*
(Antisauron) I want to cooperate and make the world a better place!
(Nonringwraiths) We’re Unfrodo’s best friends! We like the color white!
(some Elves) We are going to fight some battles and lose and die!
(me) Hey, that’s the way you normally are!
Yes. We rock.
(in scholarly British accent) This has been an entirely HPB- and violence-free SSSS. Good day.
What! *kill some orcs and s in a violent manner*
(bunnies) EEK! HOMICIDAL ELVES! RUN AWAY!
Never mind. And over the next week or so, I shall do this to all of the Middle-earth canon. No offense meant to J.R.R. Tolkien. And I will continue using the lovely line about homicidal Elves.
well, I am bored. hpbs… actually, i dont wanna know. mr joe… same. … quick redez. all nice nd pecefl…
maybe i shld run 4 prez?
geez, get me some smileys!
well, if ive got time on my handz, ill try dwnloding an itunes song, and i might get it dwnloded 2day…
Erm… I wouldn’t recommend that. Your iPod is PINK.
well wot shld i do. i know sssss are meant 2 b stupid, but theyre at least violent.
could you coolify me?
no. im busy.
?
Fine, I’ll go and find some other uncool smileys. Or bring Mr Joe over. Or something.
y mr joe? r u kidding?!
(removes disguise) Of course. An HPB would NEVER socialize with Mr Joe.
oh, all right. *dons bunnyproof suit* *coolifies*
Yay!
CAN I DO IT TOO?!?
y not? *coolifies *
:confused: And us?
im not quite sure how u coolify a pie, but yeah, dude. dudez. *coolifies*
:confused: DUDE!
peace nd quiet
Oh yeah?
*peers over sunglasses* wot?
We don’t have many parts in the New Prophecy.
well dont blame me dudez. it wuz erin hunter that killed off tigerstar. *realizes 2 late en hs mentioned violence*
(to self) crap. nd i was hoping to finally rite n ssss with a non-violent end.
*go off to kill erin hunter and meet / blocking the way*
/ *coolifies and *
aw, thankz! *hugs / *
Meow meow meow meow meow meow
Bunnies shouldn’t say ‘meow’. That is just weird.
Hey, I’m not weird, I’m non-conformist!
Which means weird.
THAT DOES NOT MEAN WEIRD!! I WILL MAUL YOU!!!
(me) I’m sorry, but I do not want any violence in this SSSS.
*mauls and *
Wait, how am I still here if I mauled my writer?
*regenerates* I am immortal. I rule over you.
COOL!!! Can you get me a pet kitty?
Sure. *makes ^..^ *
Oh, you’we a cute wittle kwitty, awen’t you? Yes you awe! *snuggles ^..^*
^..^ Meow meow meow meow meow *snuggles *
I want a kitty too! *makes ^..^ *
You’we a cute wittle kwitty, awen’t you? Yes you awe! *snuggles ^..^ *
^..^ Meow meow meow meow meow *snuggles *
^..^ ^..^ Yayness!! *group hug*
God, this is so cute and awful. And you know what? I LOVE IT!! *joins group hug*
Everyone: Horray!
I wanna join! *joins group hug*
I wanna join! *joins group hug*
I wanna join! *joins group hug*
I wanna join! *joins group hug*
I wanna join! *joins group hug*
I wanna join! *joins group hug*
I wanna join! *joins group hug*
I wanna join! *joins group hug*
I wanna join! *joins group hug*
I wanna join! *joins group hug*
I wanna join! *joins group hug*
I wanna join! *joins group hug*
I wanna join! *joins group hug*
I wanna join! *joins group hug*
I wanna join! *joins group hug*
I wanna join! *joins group hug*
I wanna join! *joins group hug*
(Fred) Fred said dead thread, Ted said dead thread. Fred said dead thread, Ted said dead thread. Fred said dead thread, Ted said dead thread. Fred said dead thread, Ted said dead thread. Fred said dead thread, Ted said dead thread. Fred said dead thread, Ted said dead thread.
(Ted) Ted said dead Fred
AHHHH!!!!!! HOMICIDAL BUNNIES!!!!
Come come come come musebloggers come come
Right. *has just captured on the *recoils in horror* thread* *shoves en in cage* Time for a new era! Mwahahaha!
Can we put this guy ( ) in the cage too?
Yeah!
Waah! All I ever did was say– *realizes en is next to an hpb* *faints*
Now, my friends, we shall begin! 1. We (me and ) are the supreme rulers.
2. s, , and are outlawed.
DISCRIMINATION!
*casually shoves in with and hpb*
3. All other smileys will be turned into
:confused: *recoil in horror*
dude?
Who. let. that. guy. in?
Me
MR JOE! *shoves and in cage*
No fair! We all want to turn into cute little green men!
You ARE a green man.
*turn :confused: into *
*turns and into an * *bites through cage* *produces army of s from somewhere*
BUNNIFY BUNNIFY BUNNIFY
*mauls hpb s*
*mauls / s*
Yay! Violence!
VIOLENCE! VIOLENCE VIOLENCE! *die*
This is why we took over the blog in the first place! All these SSSSs are are stupid concoctions of HPB violence, ‘s idiotic chatspeak, and and making us all look stupid!
Well, YEAH. And why are you guys so different from hpbs anyway?
Because we are Tigerstar and Hawkfrost! *head to Quick Reads Thread*
x3 Whatever. *go back to *recoils in horror thread**
dude
Geez, that was boring. And random.
*prays* Please don’t be dead, thread. Please don’t be dead!
You forgot
*goes to RRSSSS that is right here: ?p=1480#comment-291058 *
Wow, how’d he go through a link?
He’s magical, just like Enceladus.
*reappears* Like Enceladus? That is such a compliment! He’s so smart, and kind and funny…
Gee…. Mabye I should stop before this gets out of hand.
Crap. I’ll try again.
*goes to RRSSSS that is right here: https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=1480#comment-291058 *
Wow, how’d he go through a link?
He’s magical, just like Enceladus.
*reappears* Like Enceladus? That is such a compliment! He’s so smart, and kind and funny…
Gee…. Mabye I should stop before this gets out of hand.
Wow, this thread is really dead. No one’s posted for weeks. Yep, it’s dead all right.
Like you’re about to be. *eats*
Yo, I’m cool.
I’m sad.
8) Well, stop being sad and start being cool!
*sniffles* But why?
8) Because I’m cool and I said so!
–> Are you saying that I should listen to you because you’re cool? How lame is that?
8) –> No, because I’m an HPB!!!
8 O *screams* *faints*
Heheh. *pulls off mask* –> Oh, yeah, I’m so cool…
Me : Why do you have a picture of Emma Watson in your locker!?
Luke (my friend) : Because she’s HOT !
Me : Touche.
This is a little SSSS called,
OCD:
There’s a ‘Who’s Posted How Much’ list.
So?
I must have a round number of posts!!! *hyperventilates*
*backs away slowly* *runs*
I’m going to Land. Wonder what kind of imbeciles I’ll find there. *arrives*
Hi there, yellow smiley! Come to the town square! Our leader, “Special” Fred Idiotface, just found a pink bunny!
Actually, I’d better leave now.
*drags to town square* There’s Mr. Idiotface! See? With the magical green leader sparkles around him!
** *pets * Isn’t he so cute? A round of applause for the cute little pink bunny!
*applaud* Yay for the cute little pink bunny!
** Now I’m going to cuddle the pink bunny. I’m going to cuddle it and snorgle it and smush my face into it. *picks up *
Wait! Stop! HPBs are evil! Evacuate the city! Get out the depigmentizer darts!
** Silly yellow smiley! The bun-bun is perfectly safe! *snorgles*
*eats*
Wow, the bun-bun can do magic tricks! It made Mr. Idiotface disappear!
Do you fellows know where I can find a weapon of any kind?
Aww, it’s talking! The little bun-bun is talking! It’s a little talky-walky! It –
Answer … the … question.
Okey! Here’s a nuclear bomb. Have fun, little bun-bun! Hey, that rhymes! Have fun, little bun-bun! Have fun, little bun-bun! Have –
RUN!
Bahaha. *blows Land to bits*
Rainbow*Star, you are too much! All of your SSSS make me laugh so incredibly hard that I just fell out of my chair.
Exactly!!
Dude.
[sigh]
Hi guys!
Hi.
[ looks around in a sneaky manner, then vanishes through a Mysterious Door.]
…wait…
=> You’re so unobservant, dude.
You might have said something.
Hey, I couldn’t see anything.
…You might have taken the glasses off. We’re indoors after all.
=> Dude…
[sigh] Let’s just… you know, let’s just stop the evil bunny.
[leaning back out the Mysterious Door] I’m not evil. [vanishes back through the Mysterious Door]
=> What?
[sighing invisibly] I’m. Not. Evil.
Since when?
Since I was hit with a beam from the Personality Reversing
Ray.
The what?
The PRP.
…ok…
Dude!
Exactly.
Exactly what?
[response zapped for purposes of Permanent Agonized Wondering on the Part of the Audience]
=> TELL MEH!!!
Nope.
ARGH! [explodes]
Ooh, pretty.
Dude.
[sigh]
(narrator) The End.
TNÖ: What, that’s it?
Yep.
TNÖ: That’s the best I could come up with?
…Yeah.
TNÖ: WAH!
=> What, what’s wrong?
TNÖ: [sob] I’ve never written such an anticlimactic ending in my life!
…yes you have… Remember last year’s Screnzy?
TNÖ: What do you mean?
Oh, come on, bowling? That’s the best you could come up with?
TNÖ: I’M A FAILURE. [sob]
=> Stop being so melodramatic.
TNÖ: MY WRITING MUSE HAS DESERTED ME!!!
…
TNÖ: [throws herself off a cliff]
=> !!!
TNÖ: Just kidding.
!!!
TNÖ: . . .
[SPLAT]
TNÖ: Tra la la la la la la… [skips off merrily towards the Emerald City]
THE END.
Get out of my sight, you bucktoothed green idiot.
Your mom’s a bucktoothed green idiot.
Very clever. For a blob of primordial goo.
Your mom’s a blob of pie-mor-dull goo.
Would you like to be messily devoured?
Your mom likes to be messily devoured.
Can you stop it with the “your mom” jokes? You’re just being a nuisance now.
Your mom’s a nuisance.
This is your last chance not to make a “your mom” joke.
Your mom’s the last chance not to make a “your mom” joke.
*pushes into black hole*
Stop…making…me….laugh…..*hack gasp* My cat is glaring like she’s going to call the cops on me.
TNÖ! There you are! I’m CC on the Chatterbox.
294-
STALKER!!!
Dude…
[blows stuff up]
IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD!
That’s right. [shoves everyone into a black hole]
TNO: The moral of the story being, Haley needs to get out of school fast before her brain melts of stress due to last-minute math assignments and her inability to use umlauts on the school laptops. Also, “hi Ducky/CC”
TNO Haley? Have you ever gotten a letter published in Muse?
Yeah, a while ago. That’s where my name’s from, actually.
I need a new way to kill smileys.
Explode them, that’s what I do.
Too cliched.
Implode them.
Been doing it for months.
Explode them, then make the pieces implode.
Too hard.
Well, you could always eat them.
Smileys are fattening.
Stab them?
They bleed all over my beautiful fur.
Push them into black holes?
Meh.
Look, here comes an unsuspecting smiley!
I’ll handle en.
Hiya, pink bunny guy!
*discreetly pushes into black hole*
My cousin Delilah (that really is her name, and don’t you dare sing “Hey There, Delilah” to her or she’ll punch your face in. Believe me, I know.) is lurker on the SSSS thread and she made this one for me.
Hi, I’m George Harrison.
Augh! Look, it’s George Harrison!!!!
Isn’t George Harrison dead?
(Delilah) Shut up. You’re ruining the story.
#1: Yeah, he is dead.
Just like you. *eats #1*
(Delilah) Thank you, you cute wittle bunny.
(Silver Lining) Delilah, noooo!
Ew, people. *eats and *
Hey there, Delilah –
*punches face in*
Ow. *dies*
Who’s George Harrison?
Presumably an important dead person.
Shh! Don’t ask who people are! Remember when you didn’t know who J. R. R. Tolkien was, and that bunch of rabid LOTR fans sent a swarm of dragons after you, and –
Oh, shut up. *shoves into black hole*
Thanks, Rainbow*Star!
Who’s George Harrison?
(Silver Lining and Delilah) *screams* YOU DON’T KNOW WHO GEORGE HARRISON IS?!
Presumably an important dead person.
HE WAS A BEATLE!!!!!!!!!!
Oh.
Beatlemaniacs. *shoves everyone into a black hole*
((Lucky I don’t know that song!))
hey, dudes, ive got this awesome quote i found in a cartoon…
Get on with it, I want to zombify you.
“the american dream is everyone else’s nightmare”
Oh for god’s sake GET A LIFE. All you ever do is insult Americans.
And popo.
And PoPo. I know why you’re the only Australian on MuseBlog, you put all the others off!
rele?
And you’re always moaning about your friends– I’m surprised you even have any. You’re an idiot!
thankz
And when you’re not writing lame SSSSs, you’re banging on about Warriors…
WARRIORS ROX MY SOX
or double-posting and whining about your school uniform. You’re a *******!
*preens* u know, ur meant 2 zombify me, not insult me.
And that’s another thing– you use more chatspeak than anyone else on this blog!
awww… *hugs *
AAAAAARrrGGhhh! *runs*
(to ) Right, you’re fired from the Association of Evil. do you wanna join?
imbeciles. *eats everyone*
Brainstorm!
Hiya.
*squashes*
I love this thread.
Me too!
*bows to great SSSSs*
MATHS CLASS (basically every remotely funny thing my maths teacher has ever said in one SSSS)
:confused: Mr B, how do you do 3a? (homework question)
*writes question 3a on board* Does anyone know how to do it?
….
Well, as :confused: was the only one who asked about it, the rest of you should know how to do it.
I asked about it!
*sigh* Maybe I should start checking homework.
Me *forgets calculator* *writes note in diary* *takes diary to *
Do they have watches in _______? *writes in time and signs diary*
*sigh* I wouldn’t know… (mumblemumblemutter) I do have a watch, it’s just sitting at home, where it’s not a lot of use to me… *gets calculator*
And of course you have all done your homework…
Me *forgets calculator again* *is fortunately wearing watch* *writes time in diary*
*points at graffiti* Is that meant to be you?
No, it’s a giant frog. (don’t ask me why I drew a giant frog in my diary, okay?)
talktalktalk
I know maths is exciting and you can’t wait to get here, but don’t get carried away.
*talking continues*
*decides that we’re all talking to attract his attention because we want to do “community service at lunchtime”*
*graffiti desk*
You must be a very bored young woman… You need something to do, like carrying a plastic bag around at lunchtime*
later…
Where’s your detention slip?
We gave it to the teacher on duty.
Who?
#2 We don’t know her name, but she had glasses and she was short…
*is skeptical that they did detention at all*
Oh no, we went around with her.
So I’m looking for someone who’s vertically challenged, and visually challenged..
FRED THE BUNNY NERD: THE EARLY YEARS
(Stig) To be popular among your bunny peers, you must kill smileys on a regular basis.
(Dirk + Rocco) *nod*
(Fred) But –
(Stig) Look, you biped lover, there’s an unsuspecting smiley. Go eliminate it.
(Fred) But –
(Stig) If you don’t, you’ll be shunned from society. *shoves forward*
(Dirk + Rocco) Shun the biped lover! Shuuun!
Where am I? *studies map*I think I’m lost … you don’t happen to be nicegoodius, do you? Can you help me?
(Fred) Um, well, actually …
(Stig + Dirk + Rocco) Get on with it!
Wait. Why is everyone in this SSSS an HPB?
(Stig + Dirk + Rocco) *advance*
That can’t be good. *flees*
(Stig) You puce idiot, you let a smiley escape!
(Fred) I couldn’t just –
(Stig) Anti-lagamorph. *shoves into mud*
(Fred) Yuck. Mud.
*comes back slowly* AAAAHHHHHHH! Bunny in the mud!
(Fred) Come, just help me up. I won’t hurt you.
You won’t?
(Fred) No. Now I understand why everyone else hates bipeds.
And you don’t?
(Fred) Of course I do. everyone hates them, I just hate them less. How do humans feel about bunnies?
Either hate, if you’re a MuseBlogger, love if you’re a stupid girl.
(Fred) Just help me out of the mud.
I am Snape, the Potions Master.
No, you aren’t.
Why not? See my green skin?
Snape didn’t have green skin.
Fine. =>
Now I am Snape, the Potions master.
No, you aren’t.
Why not? see my evilish glare?
Snape wasn’t evil! If you had read the last book, you would have known!
Fine. =>
Now I am Snape, the Potions Master.
No, you aren’t. Snape hasn’t laughed since Lily died.
Fine. =>
Now I am Snape, the Potions Master.
No, you aren’t.
WHY? HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY KNOW THAT I AM NOT SNAPE, THE POTIONS MASTER?
Because I am Snape, the Potions Master.
No, no, no. I am Snape The Potions Master!
(300) So do I.
The Bunny’s Secret Guide to Taking Over the World, Torturing Smileys, and Just Having Fun
Chapter 1
How to terrorize smileys
*British accent* First, we need more ways to kill smileys. The imploding/exploding/pushing into black holes/eating/stabbing. I shall give you three new methods. Bunny slaves!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
#1 One of the best ways to kill smileys is to zombify them, and then make them wlak off a cliff. I’ll demonstrate.
*walks by*
#1 *zombifies *
-> Duhh…..
Walk off a cliff.
Duhh….. *walks off cliff*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
#2 Another good way to terrorize smileys is to zombify them, turn them into frogs, give them to a princess, and have the frog eat the princess, thus exploding the frog and killing the princess. I’II demonstrate.
*walks by*
*zombifies *
-> Duhh…
*turns into a frog*
-> Frog
Go to a pricncess
Princess: Oh look, a frog! I’ll kiss it and it’ll turn into a prince *lifts Frog to lips*
Eat the princess!
Frog: *eats princess* *explodes*
Princess: *is eaten*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
#3 Also, you can just pur molten lava on smileys. I’ll demonstrate
*walks by*
*pours molten lava on *
Aww, why does it always have to be me? *is burnt
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There you have it folks, nore ways to terrorize smileys. You can also combine them, such as turning them into giant frogs, making them eat princesses, and then make them walk off a cliff, and pour molten lava over their remains! That’s all for now, Chapter 2 coming soon!
Don’t forget squashing.
Je suis australienne!
SHUT UP. Or at least say it in, um, Italian or something. Everyone on this blog speaks French.
Je parle francais aussi!
Et moi!
Et moi!
Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrggggggggghhhhhhh! *flees* *bangs into *
****
Dude.
Double ****
This is stupid.
Mwahahahaha
MWAHAHAHAHAHA
Um, guys, there’s something homicidal and pink heading towards us.
:confused: Where?
We brought it upon ourselves by writing an SSSS! *panics*
dude.
YOU IMBECILE YOU ARE NOT MEANT TO APPEAR TWICE IN THE SAME SSSS AND IF YOU SAY “DUDE” ONE MORE TIME—
chill dude, jst chill.
Don’t bother. He can’t appear again, remember?
AND NEITHER CAN YOU.
dude, jst chill. stp capitlzng.
SO MUCH FOR MY ATTEMPTS TO USE EVERY SMILEY, AND ONLY ONCE.
dude, seriously. stop capitlizing
I’m a pie.
*laughs hysterically*
THIS IS NOT FUNNY! *storms off*
What?
HE SAID, HE’S A PIE.
I’M A GIRL.
dudes, seriously, stp capitlzing, jst chill.
That was pointless.
Yeah, that was the point.
WHAT?!?
Guys, lets just concentrate on the pink thing heading towards us. MWAHAHAHAHA
:confused: –> AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHH!
dudes, stp capitlzng. jst chill.
*turns back into * STOP CAPITALIZING OR– OR–
You will be eaten by an hpb. *eats everyone*
SFTDP
291.1+291.1- *laughs too hard to say anything*
Oh look, it’s . Let’s make him explode.
☺ No, let’s make him implode.
Why? Explosion looks cooler.
☺ Implosion doesn’t leave a mess.
Explosion.
☺ Implosion.
Explosion.
☺ Implosion.
*explodes ☺*
☺ *simultaneously implodes *
*is unharmed*
Sorry, smiley. No one survives this SSSS. *squashes*
*is squashed*
No one survives except ME! *walks off cliff*
Oh, it’s you again.
That’s what she said.
What?
That’s what she said.
That’s what who said?
That’s what she said.
Who is this “she”?
That’s what she said.
TELL ME WHO “SHE” IS, OR I WILL IMPLODE YOU, EXPLODE YOU, CHOP WHAT’S LEFT INTO SMALL PIECES, JUMP ON THE PIECES, PUT THEM IN A BLENDER, ROLL THE PULPY MASH INTO A BALL, STICK NAILS THROUGH IT, THROW IT IN AN ERUPTING VOLCANO, AND INCINERATE THE VOLCANO. *pant* *pant*
That’s what she said.
*implodes *
*explodes *
*chops remains into small pieces*
*jumps on pieces*
*puts pieces in blender*
*rolls pulpy mash into ball*
*sticks nails through ball*
*throws ball into erupting volcano*
*incinerates volcano*
Let that be a warning to all of smileykind.
That’s what she said.
*dips in molten lava*
Someone at my school does that ALL THE TIME.
Thats what she said.
*throws SudoRandom into a giant volcano*
(Enceladus) *rescues SudoRandom*
Thank you, Enceladus!
Just don’t do it again!
That’s what she said!
*throws SudoRandom into a giant volcano*
(Enceladus) *rescues SudoRandom*
Thank you, Enceladus!
Just don’t do it again!
That’s what she said!
*throws SudoRandom into a giant volcano*
(Enceladus) *rescues SudoRandom*
Thank you, Enceladus!
Just don’t do it again!
That’s what she said!
*throws SudoRandom into a giant volcano*
(Enceladus) *rescues SudoRandom*
Thank you, Enceladus!
Just don’t do it again!
That’s what she said!
Repeat.
That’s what she said.
(Enceladus) I have a sudden urge to write a SSSS
What ever you do, don’t take any humor out of self-reference!
Don’t worry, I will never talk about this SSSS and make it funny….. Oh cake.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Enceladus) Hello.
(Cleverbot) Jello-flavored packing peanuts!
Quoi?
Go eat them!
I don’t understand you.
Aardvarks is my friend!
Who is aardvarks?
cromwell is awesome.
You isn’t it.
Rosequartz is awesome.
All this training really has had an affect on you, hasn’t it? *comforts cleverbot*
*no response*
Wake up!
*no response*
Wahh! Cleverbot, don’t be dead! I can’t refresh the page!
*no response*
Auugh! *commits suicide*
Oh my jelly flavored packing peanuts!
You’re alive! *HUG CLEVERBOT*
*HUGS BACK*
& *skip off merrily into the distance*
(French teacher): Let’s do a perfume label!
(friend 1): *does picture of armpit + woman holding nose*
(friend 2): *does hot guy*
(me) *does frog*
Today:
(French teacher): *points at frog legs* I’m French, right? Well, I like to cut those off and eat them.
*is grossed out*
I knew that, of course, but… *is still grossed out*
AH! A bunny!
Rar! *rips off mask to be revealed as *
You scared me! *rips off mask to be revealed as *
*rips off mask to be revealed as *
*rips off mask to be revealed as *
*rips off mask to be revealed as *
*rips off mask to be revealed as *
*rips off mask to be revealed as *
*rips off mask to be revealed as *
*rips off mask to be revealed as *
*rips off mask to be revealed as *
*rips off mask to be revealed as *
*rips off mask to be revealed as ♥ *
*rips off mask to be revealed as *
♥ *rips off mask to be revealed as
*rips off mask to be revealed as *
*rips off mask to be revealed as *
*rips off mask to be revealed as *
*rips off mask to be revealed as
*rips off mask to be revealed as *
*rips off mask to be revealed as Þ *
*rips off mask to be revealed as þ *
Þ *rips off mask to be revealed as Ð *
þ *rips off mask to be revealed as ð *
Ð *rips off mask to be revealed as *
I am me as you are he as we are all together!
ð *rips off mask to be revealed as *
*eats and all the remaining masks*
THE 8 TYPES OF SSSSs
1. THE CLASSIC SSSS*
hi, all!
hi
hi
BUNNIFY *eats
2. THE COOL SSSS
Dude
Oh no, who let that guy in?
Dude
If you don’t stop saying “dude’ right now…
Dude
* appears* *eats everyone*
3. THE STRAIGHT-TO-THE-POINT SSSS
a) hmmm, how can I creatively kill a smiley?
I know! *creatively kills smiley*
b) Let’s kill a smiley!
Yeah! mwahahahaha….
*dies*
*eats everyone who is still alive*
4. THE LETS-INSULT-MR-JOE SSSS
hi, all!
oh no.
Look, it’s a hot pink bunny. Hi, hot pink bunny!
hi. *eats *
5. THE BUNNY-IN-DISGUISE SSSS
Dude
Get out of here now and nobody gets hurt.
Wanna bet? *rips off mask to be revealed as * *eats everyone*
6. THE ATTEMPT TO WRITE AN SSSS WITHOUT AN HPB
a) Hey, let’s write an ssss without an hpb!
Yeah!
(long awkward silence)
You know, this is stupid.
That’s the point.
Oh, let’s put them out of their misery. *eats *
b) Hey, let’s write an ssss without an hpb!
Yeah!
(long awkward silence)
You know, this is stupid.
That’s the point.
, , or Oh, let’s put them out of their misery. *eats *
7. THE – SHOWDOWN
mwahahahaha I’m stupidly violent and evil. *kills smileys*
mwahahahaha I’m even more stupidly violent and evil. And I’m HOT PINK! *kills *
8. THE REAL LIFE SSSS
(MBer) *walks into class*
(teacher) *makes stupid comment*
hahahahaha!
Finally… SOMEONE GETS OUT ALIVE!!!
*This one can cover just about anything. IT’s shown here in it’s simplest version.
Gah! *headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk*
Aw, what’s wrong?
The smilies! That’s what’s wrong!
Huh?
We got a new computer, and the browser on it is Internet Explorer, and it’s wrecking the smileys! has a closed mouth, and has evil eyebrows! has an enormous mouth that takes up half en’s face, and ‘s eyes are all mesed up! In fact, all the smileys have a messy, pixelated look. Also, this has nothing to do with smiley’s but all the avatars are cut in half. And the text and smileys overlap, like this:
—— Hi, my name is Mr. Joe. I am an idiot and desparately need an orthodontist.
And as I type this in the comment box, the spacing is all messed up.
I
HATE
INTERNET
EXPLORER!!!
I’m sorry you feel that way. You see, I invented Internet Explorer. And for insulting my wondrous creation, you shall pay the horrible price. *throws into pit of s*
*defeats s* *flees to a magical, faraway place where everyone uses Firefox*
Yay, we just downloaded Firefox and my smiley/spacing/avatar woes are over.
Hello. I am a cute little bunny in a pet store with cute and fluffy animals!
*drools* How cute…
*runs*
How cute! A fluffy buuuuny… *eyes start to swirl*
Run!
*everyone does*
*gets bunnified*
Why is it so easy to hyptmotize Mr. Joe’s brain?
Do you like my new sunglasses? *is bunnified*
The End!
P.S. I haven’t posted on Museblog for MONTHS! Well, now I am posting!
Hi Hibiscus!
Rainbow*Star, that made me laugh. I ♥ your SSSSs.
French class today:
*play loud music and are generally annoying*
(Mr Frogleg) Turn that off. Now, this lesson, blahblahblahblahblah… And if you are playing games, do French ones.
(me) *plays non-french game*
*play loud music and are generally annoying* *shrieking is heard*
(Leopardstar) TURN THAT OFF.
*this repeats several times*
(me) *actually does work* *goes to mr frogleg*
(Gorsepaw) Mr Frogleg, she sent me an email telling me to die in a dark hole with a hot pink bunny.
(me) I told her to die in a BIG BLACK hole with a hot pink bunny. And Ms Vader said I should die in a big black hole with no food or water.
(Mr Frogleg) ….
And so on.
179- I am laughing so hard that I’m crying.
The Best Act at my School’s Talent Show Besides My Act and M-Dawg’s Act
, , , and (singing) If I weren’t a fourth grader, there’s something I would be, if I weren’t a fourth grader…
A hippie I would be! Love, peace, my hair is full of grease; love, peace, my hair is full of grease!
(All): If I weren’t a fourth grader, there’s something I would be, if I weren’t a fourth grader…
A bus-driver I’d be! Drive, drive, SKID… I think I hit a kid! Drive, drive, SKID… I think I hit a kid!
Love, peace, my hair is full of grease!
(All): [chorus]
A doctor I would be! Needle, thread, stick it through the head! Needle, thread, stick it through the head!
Drive, drive, SKID… I think I hit a kid!
Love, peace, my hair is full of grease!
(All): [chorus]
A policeman I would be! There’s a crime, there’s a crime, there’s a
Donut shop! There’s a crime, there’s a crime, there’s a donut shop!
Needle, thread, stick it through the head!
Drive, drive, SKID…I think I hit a kid!
Love, peace, my hair is full of of grease!
(All): if we weren’t fourth graders, that’s what we would be!
(running off stage) There’s my patient!
(running the other way) My bus is rolling away!
(ditto) DUNKIN’ DONUTS!!!!
Hey, there’s my van! Right on, dude…
[curtains close]
I like to , every day, every night,
I like to , if it’s wrong, if it’s right,
I like to , if it’s green, if it’s pink,
I like to , if it’s cute, if it stinks.
I met a bunny named…
SHUT UP. I’m surprised that was even moderated. Do you know what the actual song is?
I like to bleep, every…
*throws off MuseBlog*
*meets *
We like to too. *swear eternal friendship with *
*comes back*
We like to , every day, every night…
(PoPo police) 100 kilos of chocolate EACH for singing offensive songs, 1000 kilos of chocolate for defying banishment, and 1,000,000,000,000,000 kilos of chocolate for bringing s onto the blog.
*throw 1,000,000,000,001,100 kilos of chocolate onto *
All in a day’s night’s work.
THE ADVENTURES OF AND THE BUN-BUNS PART 2
Let’s kill some smileys!
YEAH! *turn into ☻☻☻* *creep up to *
☻☻☻bunnifybunnifybunnify
What? *looks around nervously*
*puts on sunglasses*
Has anyone seen my bun-buns?
What… is… a… bun-bun…?
An hpb. I saw post 25 and I thought, oh, I’ve got some lovely little pets that go bunnify bunnify bunnify bunnify bunnify bunnify bunnify bunnify bunnify bunnify…
*backs away slowly* *steps on ☻*
☻Ouch. *bites *
Yeeeoooouuuuuccccccchhhhh!!!!!!!!! *runs over cliff into hot-pink-shark-infested water*
THE ADVENTURES OF AND THE BUN-BUNS
#1 Well, after that pleasant interlude, let’s get back to our singing career.
Welcome to our Twisted and the Bun-Buns concert! We’ll start you off with
If you’re happy and you know it be stupidly violent!
I thought stupid violence caused happiness. Wait… stupid violence!?!I’m outta here!
☺*gets out bazooka*
If you’re happy and you know it be stupidly violent!
*throws bomb*
If you’re happy and you know it then you really ought to show it if you’re happy and you know it be stupidly violent! *leave before someone gets pushed off a cliff*
This started as a short story in my writing group with the prompt of writing with your left and right hands as two different characters having a dialogue, but as you can see, I had writers’ block.
Me : I have writers’ block.
Right hand me ((I’m lefthanded, by the way)) : Well, tough.
Me :
Right hand me: Did you really just say that?
Me : Yes. Colon roll colon.
Righthand me : Colon question mark.
Me : This would work better as an SSSS.
Right hand me : Yes it would, semicolon bracket-thing which I forget the name for right now, me being so lazy and all.
Me : I think you should be a mrgreen in the SSSS.
Right hand me : Hey! Colon ecks!
Me : Well, it suits your personality… colon capital pee.
Right hand me : I think you should be a mrgreen.
Me : No, I’ll be a colon parentheses.
Right hand me : Why?
Me : Because the narrator is always the smiling smiley. It’s practically a law.
Right hand me : Well, it’s an unjust law! I’m going to start a petition to MB’s government against it! And I still don’t see why I have to be a mrgreen. I don’t want to be identified with Mr. Joe!
Me : *shrug* Okay, fine then. You can start a petition. I’m still going to be a smiling smiley.
Right hand me : I hate you, me! *turns to audience *Who wants to sign my petition?
To Be Continued….when someone has signed the petition.
323) *signs*
We doth need new thread!
No we dothn’t!
Why dothn’t we?
Will you two stop doing that?
Dothing what?
Dothing that! GAA! You got me dothing it! I mean doing it!
Riiiiiighteth. Anyway, we doth needeth a new thread!
AAH! If you’re going to talk like that, at least doth it right!
We are dothing it right, varlet!
No, you aren’t! Thee doth be speaking it wrong! GAA! ‘Tis getting to me!
Taketh a chilling pill, varlet!
Yes, for serious. Anyway, we Dothn’t need a new thread!
We doth!
If we doth get a neweth thread, then nobody shall readeth this threadith anymoreth!
*doth spazz* AA! At least keep it doth consistent!
Doth why?
(DuffMan) 8) Did someone say, “Duff”?
Noeth, I dotheth say yon “Doth”.
AAH! ‘Tisn’t “dotheth”, ’tis “doth”! Please keep it CONSISTENT!
8) I can assure you that Duff is always consistent! Oh yeah!
Doth thout have ye proof?
*Doth spazz uncontrollably* AAH! NOT THOUT! STOOOOOOOOP IT! IT HURTS!
8) You need a Duff beer! Oh yeah!
(Hillary Duff) Did someone say Duff?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
8) Dude, stuff this Duff down your throat and you’ll wake up not remembering what happened today! Which will be yesterday!
That is very tempting.
So yesterday, So yesterday…
Doth Duff stuff Buff Duff’s Duff? Doth Duff stuff Duff’s Buff Duff in Duffle? Doth Buff Duff be Tough? Doth Duff stuff Buff Tough Duff’s Duff in Duffle enough?
Aah, Cake it. *explodes all*
(Splattered remains) Doth new thread?
324- Thank you.
SudoRandom Here, I’ll sign your petition! *signs*
Right hand me Thanks! *to Me* So there! Colon capital pee!
Me Colon parentheses the other way. And colon ecks.
Right hand me Right! So, now I’ve got a signature, what’s MB’s government’s address?
Me *sulks* I’m not telling you. And what kind of doofus sends in a petition with only one signature?
Right hand me Me. *signs petition* And see, now it’s got two signatures! *whispers to SR* Even though she might be right.
Me Colon roll colon.
SudoRandom RHM, you could try emailing the GAPAs. Or…Luna the Lovely is MB’s president, isn’t she?
Me Since when is that? I thought Piggy was!
SudoRandom The Kokonspiracy, 2009, part 1.
Me: Welcome, Neophytes! December 2008.
Right hand me Look, guys, I’ll send it to the GAPAs, Luna, and Piggy, okay?
SudoRandom No! Luna!
Me Piggy!
SudoRandom Luna!
Me Piggy!
SudoRandom Luna!
Me Piggy!
Right hand me Look, guys, I’m sending it to BOTH of them! Quit arguing!
Me and SudoRandom SINCE WHEN ARE YOU THE MODERATOR?!?
Right hand me *sigh*
And yes, we doth need a new thread.
My, my, look at all this revenue I got from fining poor innocent MuseBloggers on the Polling Place thread.
That’s kind of mean… I mean, the random thread or something, but… *suddenly realizes that fined everyone in choklit s * Aaaaaaaaahhhh! *runs* *bangs into *
I think that’s a cool world-domination plan.
Cool smileys who don’t say dude are invariably hpbs in disguise.
Or the narrator. But your first guess was right. *takes off disguise* I am going to take over the world, not those stupid choklit things. *eats choklit s*
But… you said it was a cool idea.
And someone should tell you that the cool smileys who do say dude are the hpbs in disguise.
(a real this time) Not necessarily, dude. Sometimes we are genuine cool smileys. Doesn’t stop us being violent though.
Violence is uncool.
So is senseless fining.
IT WASN’T SENSELESS I AM GOING TO USE MY CHOKLIT BUN-BUNS TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD. RISE MY BUN-BUNS RISE.
Um, ? This is an SSSS. It’s MEANT to be senseless.
WHO. ATE. MY. BUN-BUNS.
You know, you could really use that world-domination motivation to threaten the GAPAs so they give us a new thread.
*is holding nuclear warhead over *
*find GAPA* GIve us a new thread before these two *gesture at and * blow it up!
(pretending to be GAPA) Please.
Please!
(pretending to be GAPA) Say it nicely.
Please give us a new thread!
(pretending to be GAPA) Nicer.
Please give us a new thread! *old one blows up* *run onto another thread*
*suddenly materialise* Welcome to BA-TNG.
And so that unfortunate incident is not repeated *throws onto BA-TNG thread* could we pwease have a new thread?
Ok…. sneak preview of my animation!
Trailer #1 for The King Of Spades And Shoes
Sandals: *walk across table*
King of Spades: *chases sandals*
Queen of Spades: *chases sandals*
Jack of Spades: *chases sandals*
Trailer #2
*death* *blue blood flies everywhere*
SFTDP
*whispers quietly in sleeping GAPA’s ear* give us a new thread… give us a new thread… *repeat*
*next morning* I will make a new thread for SSSSs!
P*EASE?
[Oh. Okay. We didn’t know you were serious. Here’s your thread.
–The Beneficent GAPAs]