It’s not looking good, folks. So far this month, Musery Loves Company has sold exactly ten “Kokopelli for President” buttons — and those are ones that Robert bought. It looks as if our lazy, self-absorbed, non-campaigning candidate is about to reap the rewards of his non-effort.
Oh, well, there’s always 2012…
Aw, poor Koko. We keep saying we’ll get some buttons, and then we, tee hee, don’t.
But now I’m on a mission: I am going to get “Kokopelli for President” buttons in time for the election.
Well, was he running for President of the United States? Because there are certainly many more options.
First post?
Well, there’s still time… I wonder what would happen if he won
3- you don’t want to know.
I’ll GIMP-up some campaign posters.
Only about two weeks and then we’ll know if Koko’s won! Maybe he’ll do an Abe Lincoln and appoint the people he ran against as advisors.
I don’t think Kokopelli wants advisors — just targets.
Yeah, welllllll…..TAKE THIS, Koko! *fires a pie his way* *is barraged with more.*
Voters have to understand that Kokopelli’s lazy self-absorbedness is what makes him the optimal candidate.
8- That doesn’t make him the optimal candidate. All politicians are lazy and self-absorbed. He’s the optimal candidate because he’s 2-dimensional. And he’s got a cooler name than everyone else.
Kokopelli – Nice ‘n’ Comfy!
Nah, it doesn’t work.
Oh my, Koko, you poor thing. Here, I’ll help you.
Take these seven Chi Emeralds and the Master Chi Emerald, plus these 60 titanium Rings Of Eternity, power up to Hyper Koko, and pie the Earth the world over. Maybe then you can be president.
I’ve got a “Kokopelli for President” sticker on my viola case. Only two people have pointed it out. One of them reads Muse, the other doesn’t. I haven’t yet come up with a stock response for “Who’s Kokopelli?”
10–You were the annoying piranha plant taking over the MAHB Rooftop Garden? That really wasn’t appreciated.
11- I have one on my cello case! I’ve had it for two years, ever since I wrote a letter to the mag.
13- *plays cello, too( AWESOME!!!)* Where can I get one?
I’m making Koko a campaign poster. Should be ready in a few days.
Some Slogans:
Vote Kokopelli: He’s Older then McCain and Younger the Obama!
Vote Kokopelli: Are First Black President.
Vote Kokopelli: What’s More american the Throwing Apple Pie?
15- ha ha, funny.
Well, Koko will still be….wait, how old is Kokopelli?
About 10 Muse-years or 10,000 human-years old, according to the January 2007 issue.
Kokopelli Campaign Song
(To the tune of “Yankee Doodle”)
Kokopelli
You can tell he
Will be a great lea-der.
Cross his path and you’ll
Need a bath
‘Cause you’ll be a pie-eater!
Sort of catchy, but I dunno. Sort of dumb, too.
More slogans:
Kokopelli: Our First Non-Human President!
Kokopelli: Give Pie A Chance.
Kokopelli: Believe in the Power of Pie!
Kokopelli-NOT SMELLY!!!
Nah, it doesn’t work.
where was he born? does living in kokonino kounty count as being an American citizen? does he have to be old enough to run in muse years? What political party would he represent? answer my questions, oh ye who wish for kokopelli as president!
Kokopelli throws pies, jelly!
Doesn’t work again.
I’ve made a “campaign board” with “koko for prez” stickers on it.
Pies are on the rise,
in the battle to control the skies,
we need someone who can fight,
Kokopelli would be just right.
He can always make up his mind,
though he isn’t the most kind,
his leadership would be the best,
in our beds we could safely rest.
He understands our need to rebel,
and the other candidates smell,
he alone can set things right,
leaving us free to party all night.
So for him you must vote,
or that will be all that she wrote,
please don’t be shy-
this country needs some pie !
How’s that ?
My mom won’t let me get one because Kokopelli is a god in some cultures…
barak obama eats babies!
*goes off to think of something funny about mccain*
Kokopelli for Prez! YAHOO!
Kokopelli was the trickster in some SW Native American tribes, so yes, he was born in America
KOKO for president!
Urania for secretary, then?
Chitons for Titan!
ESTABAN FOR PRESIDENT! FREE TACKOS FOR EVERYONE!!!
(I know I spelled tacos wrong, be quiet)
(who is estaban?)
18- *gets song stuck in head* great song though.
sorry for not buying any but as you all [should] know we do not have presidents in this fair country of the beaver.
Unfortunately, my school’s mock election does not allow write-in candidates, so I was unable to vote for Kokopelli for president this year.
Just you wait until I actually get my right to vote…just you wait. -bricked-
I’m going to wear a koko for prez button to school until my teacher lets me vote kokopelli! and if she doensn’t let me, let her have pie!
33- you should do that too. here’s a demonstration *pies*
Meanwhile, I have powered up, and am getting ready to pie you all…
IT’S TIME TO BE PIED, FOOLS! HAHAHA!
*pies entire earth*
*earth gets knocked into sun*
*the end*
Oops…
Fly Away!
…
…
…
*blasts off toward Alpha Centari*
31- I don’t think there is an Estaban. There have been some very immature neophytes on here lately, including some on this very thread. *cough*
31- Oh, don’t get me started on Estaban. I’ll become incredibly angry at him and myself for about the forty-second time this week. Plus, he is constitutionally prohibited from being the Presidente de los Estados Unidos de America because he was born in Ecuador, although he did immigrate here many a year ago through perfectly legal means and has been a citizen for quite a while.
Sorry, I have a good friend named Esteban (spelled differently). We’re kind of beefing right now, though.
I’m ordering some things off the Webernet tonight. Maybe I’ll order something off our lovely CafePress site.
35- That’s Alpha CenTAURI.
I’m actually wearing my Koko for president shirt right now. It was my school’s mock election. It allowed write-ins, but I didn’t vote for him.
38- And in museverse, it’s Alpha Kokopelli
CURSE YOU SPELLER73!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
41 – Calm down. It was only a mock election. I don’t think they even tallied the results.
But it’s the principle of the thing111111
was it called V.O.T.E.S.? that is a poll that is used in hundreds of schools, so if it is, than your vote does matter…
CALL UP THE SCHOOL AND CHANGE YOUR VOTE NOW!!!!!!
44 – No, it was just so that we could have the experience of voting.
I voted for Koko(write-in)(jk)!!!!!
My Core class had a mini election, and I wrote on my ballot “KOKOPELLI!!!” Seriously, I did.
Poor Kokopelli … Obama beat him by a landslide. *gives sympathy pies to Koko and all his supporters*
By the way, since the color of the Republican party is red and the Democratic party is blue, the Kokonspiracy party should have a color. And maybe an animal, too. How about wungs?
48- The Kokonspiracy animal shall be a wung and the color is the exact color of a person’s face after they’ve been pied by a lemon meringue.
49 – What color is that? Slightly pinker than a normal skin color (from the impact), with splotches of yellow and white? Except then we’d have people protesting that the “normal skin color” is racist.
50- I think it’d be hot pink, with furiousity because they got pied. Plus, that’s the color of an HPB.
51 – NO!!! We can’t have the bunnies taking over our campaign!
A thought: If Koko actually became president, who would make all the decisions, since he’s a fictional character? Musers?
Slogans:
Vote for Kokopelli…or else. (picture of non-Koko-supporters being pied)
Vote for Kokopelli – he’s mostly harmless.
Support the Kokonspiracy – vote for Kokopelli.
Perhaps:
(a picture of a face coated gruesomely in pie)
-He was in the voting booth before you. Do you know who he voted for?-
or (taken from Dilbert)
*A picture of a grubby, fat, and ugly person picking their nose*
-He was in the voting booth before you. And he never washes his hands-
No, no HPBs!! This is Kokopelli, not HPBs, for President!!