WARNING! Will definitely contain spoilers!
To spare MBers reading the “Recent Comments” columns, please paste the following message in at the beginning of your posts:
SPOILER MUSE SPOILER SPOILER.
(Remember the period at the end. Otherwise the warning won’t conceal the comment.)
What is this thread about?
It’s for talking about the F e b r u a r y 2 0 0 9 issue. Spambots have been bombarding the other thread with messages. Some of them seem to find their way here by back-tracing links we post to other sites, but there weren’t any in this case. So I wondered whether they might have found us by searching for the month and year or for the word “d i s c u s s i o n.” We’ll see whether they find this thread. (Of course, they may be searching for the word “M u s e” or “s p o i l e r,” in which case we’re out of luck.)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! spambots!
That’s a scary thought. Spambots have figured out our patterns and are deliberately attacking MB. No, wait, I figured it out! It’s the FBI trying to stop Mostly Harmless! There’s no other reasonable explanation.
2 (Robert)-That’s weird. I hope this works. Thanks for figuring out how to (hopefully) avoid them with the clever thread title!
4 (Piggy)-Hahah, that would be odd. Are we really threatening national security?
*Hides*
2-Like XRumer?
5- Well, bringing in a new world order generally isn’t something the FBI appreciates, narrow-minded as they are. So, what’s this issue about? Someone write a review already!
Ok, I’ve never done this before, but I’ll give it a shot. I won’t be doing the individual articles, Dear Muse Reader, or the Q&A(Sorry, Robert) because… I don’t know. It seems like too much work to include everything
SPOILER MUSE SPOILER SPOILER.
C-PM’s MUSE MAGAZINE REVIEW!!!
OVERALL: I really liked the issue. It had a lot of interesting facts that I didn’t know (Like using dogs to sniff out scat–I never would have thought!) and it was all tied together really nicely. First sewers, then whale poop, then whale vomit, then energy-producing toilets, and finally, getting clean! It was the best one in a while, thanks a ton, editors!
HIGHLIGHTS: The bathing article was funny. Bathing habits have certainly changed a lot over 600 years. I also didn’t know that whale vomit is used in perfume! I’ll keep a watchful eye out for some whenever I stroll the beach in the future. $750,000 worth of it that a couple randomly stumbeled upon–just WOW! The energy-producing toilet one was cool. I think it’s awesome how we can use our waste and not just throw it away. All in all, very insightful articles.
MUSE MAIL: Poor Feather! He needs some fan mail, too! I thought it was funny how somebody didn’t know how to spell “flamablamablous”. You can basically just sound it out if you know how to say it. (But that is how to spell it, right?)
MUSEROLOGY: It must be so cool to live in Denmark! The boarding school sounds flamablamablous. Eight “families” who play pranks on each other–sounds awesome and like mayhem at the same time. School sounds totally terrific. Sehr toll! Of course, it would be cooler to live in Germany, but that’s just my opinion.
CONTEST WINNERS: The contest winners were nice. I should have written something about an huge oak tree by my old house that got chopped down 5 years ago because it split in half, but I was a) too busy and b) too sad about the tree. It was my friend. But it lives on in another tree that’s 7-10 years old in a nearby deceased peach orchard. Yay! Oops! I’m telling stories again. Sorry.
NEW CONTEST: I think I might do this one! I just need to think of something totally gross. Gross things don’t happen a lot in my life.
LAST PAGE: EEEEEWWWWW!!!! That hit me like, WHAM! Straight in the face! I’m glad there’s a warning at the top. But how, how, HOW could somebody eat that? And actually like it??? I will never understand Italians (No offense to any who might be reading this).
GRADE: 10/10!!! I might be immature, but gross things make great reading matter. Thanks again, editors!
END SPOILER.
So, how did you like it? Should I change my format or anything?
SPOILER MUSE SPOILER SPOILER.
8- Ah, precious ambergris (whale vomit). I have Futurama to thank for that knowledge. And you can look at discussion threads of issues past for the usual format of reviews.
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I loved the issue, it was just, great. And gross, I like gross stuff, it annoys the people around me. Especialy when we do somthing gorss in school or with a group of kids that would be cosiderd “Popular” becuase well, they are just so, stupid. I pick up a worm or accidently burp and kids are complaining that they will puke, very satisfing.
And now I can brink in the Magazine to Camp! Everyone will be like “Coolio! I know that tree!” and everyone will be walking through the door tree anywho and then it’s just another part of the Door Tree legacy! YAYSERS! um, if you couldin’t figure it out, I’m Caroline C. from Connecticut, but that was written when I was twelve.
What was that Muserology thing for?
11: The halibut. And also the sea bass.
10- Awesome! That’s so cool.
I finally got it, and I’m pleased. No time to write a review tonight; hopefully I can find some time tomorrow.
It’s here!
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Interesting theme…poop and vomit and sewers. I think it’s quite fascinating, actually.
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I’m so glad there was a new feature!
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Hm. To be perfectly honest, I still haven’t finished my last issue. I haven’t read all of this one yet, and may never. What am I coming to? I read bits of this, and the bathing article looks fascinating. I think you can find interesting stuff in sewers. You can in books, anyway. Also they’re useful for crime.
-wanders off-
16- What? Did I miss something?
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I didn’t even read the whale poop article. The whale barf one I did. I’ve noticed that Muse has been using a literal metric tonne of first-person narrative articles. I’ve always thought that was a bit of a low form of writing, as in less educated. I enjoy articles in which the information in presented, and you can hear the author’s voice, but they are not always saying “I, I, I, you, you, you…” But that’s just me. Perhaps other readers enjoy that format. What are everyone’s opinions?
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. It was a mixed bag – some stuff was boring, but other stuff was interesting. It would be cool if the magazine could somehow know ahead of time which articles you’d like, and delete the ones you wouldn’t like, possibly replacing them with articles you’d prefer. But how would you do that? Maybe you could use some form of the mind-reading thing that was on Bo’s Page … *goes off on random tangent*
Cover: Cool. The heart-shaped manhole cover (at the bottom right) has Kokopelli on it!
First page: Funny, but I feel like there’s some joke I’m missing. Like it’s a parody of something specific and I don’t get it. Or is it just a parody of social networking sites in general?
Bo’s Page: Mostly interesting. It’s a bit creepy that the telepathy one is real, though.
Muse Mail: Poor Feather! Until now, I never noticed that hardly anyone picks him as their favorite Muse, and when I read Matthew’s poem I didn’t notice he wasn’t in it. Although I believe that in a very old issue, someone wrote a letter with a compliment for each Muse and said Feather was their favorite. *gives Feather box of consolation doughnuts*
Kokopelli And Company: Hmm, a lot of recent comics seem to involve Koko causing messy explosions.
Notes From The Underground: Fairly interesting. I had no idea that fat could build up in sewers, or that kids tried to flush their fish down the toilet after watching Finding Nemo.
Muserology: Somewhat interesting. I would like to go to Flakkebjerg, if I lived in Denmark.
Sniffing For Whales: To be honest, I didn’t read this one. I read the first few paragraphs, then decided it was boring and skipped it.
Floating Gold, Dragon Spittle, Whale’s Pearls: I liked it. The short length worked for my pitiful attention span, yet I learned plenty by reading it.
The Sweet Smell Of Progress: I kind of skipped this one, too. It got too technical and confusing for the aforementioned pitiful attention span.
Get Thee To A Tub!: Mostly interesting. I liked reading about how much bathing customs have changed throughout history.
Q And A: I haven’t heard either of the things people asked if were true, but still interesting. Robert, are you permanently back to doing Q And A, or is the normal columnists’ vacation just longer than planned?
Contest: I liked the Door Tree one. And the new contest is a good idea.
Last page: I’ve actually heard of this stuff before, but the gory details make it even more fascinatingly disgusting.
Overall: I would give this issue a
8- What? Germany????????
SPOILER SPOILER FEBUARY MUSE SPOILER.
Wheee. My muserology was in this issue.
I loved the article “Notes from the Underground” I loved the illustrations, they were very grand. Get thee to a tub- was cool, but they could’ve given a bit more, instead of just trying to gross us out. Actually, it annoyed me that the entire magazine was just trying to gross us out. The last time that gross was cool, was in first grade.
(20) Vixen:
What is the heat like in Niflheim?
20-
Sorry, Vixen. Didn’t realize that it was anyone here. Have all the Muserologys been written by MBers so far?
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18- Yes I agree. It’s nice hearing peoples voices while they give information, makes it feel less formal and more like the conversations I have with my friends (we’re a weird group)
19- It was Facebook I belive. It was set up very like facebook at least, maybe Myspace looks the same too though. I agree with most of what you said, accept for the Sniffing for Wales being boring, I found it quite fun. That delete thing is cool, but I’m not really sure it’s possible, imagine the possibiliteies if it were though, you could have spesific curriculems for each student becuase you could tell what they’d already learned.
20- Thats really cool that you live there. When I read the article all I could think about was how cool it would be to go there.
Yes, yes, yes. Otherwise known as A POST FULL OF MUSE SPOILER SPOILER SPOILERS. I am excited to do this review.
Cover: Raynpho likey. Though I think I’m a little spoiled from Lady B. telling us how she makes all her pictures- now I want to know where each of the manholes are located, how much manipulation the heart one took, whose feet are in the top right corner, and WHERE THAT BLOB OF HOT PINK in the top left corner came from! D:
Dear Muse Reader: LOL
FacebookFLAKENOOK WIN. Perfection down to the “Track everybody down tool”! I’m pretty sure I’ve said this before, but I would like to form a religion worshipping NaK.Maybe I should track her down using FB. *not a stalker at all*
Contents: If you follow something long enough, it’ll poop. How true.
Also, Elizabeth “Number Two” Preston… I’m sorry, EP, but this takes the cake.
Bo’s Page: I guessed the false fact pretty easily, but otherwise quite interesting facts!
Muse Mail: Well, I’ve seen better. An average mail selection. Nothing really stood out.
Koko & Co. AND throughout-magazine Muses: Crapalytic converter win! Sewer alligator win! Devil win! Overall Larry Gonick win! (when is it not?) But why were the Muses so big again? Raynpho does not approve.
Notes from the Underground: Woah, sewers! I think it was pretty interesting, I didn’t realize most of the things in the articles, like about q-tips. Heh.
Muserology: Vixen! I am proud to say that I knew it was you from the moment I saw the green-and-yellow “Denmark” popping out of the page at my eyes. Again, not a stalker at all.
The article was really interesting! Life at efterskoles sound pretty awesome.
Sniffing for Whales: The overall idea was really intriguing, though the actual article made it a little… blah. Didn’t really tell me 6 pages worth of information in the ~6 pages I read. Along the same lines, I liked the idea of the trading card thing, but they could have been better played out.
Floating Gold, Dragon Spittle, Whale’s Pearl: Ambergris! I had no idea it was whale vomit though, I thought I’d read somewhere it was some fatty substance in a whale’s brain-case or something. Huh. And I liked the woman’s facial expression, squatting next to the huge gray lump.
The Sweet Smell of Progress: Wow, interesting. It sounds like some implausible invention from the mind of an immature 6-year old or something, but it’s actually real. Wow.
Get Thee to a Tub: Ew. I’d known they were pretty cakin’ dirty back then, but *twitch* this article really put it into context. Very vivid. Perhaps awfully so. *twitch*
Also, Slug Signorino win.
Q&A: WOAH ROCOO AGAIN. Andy and Ruth still on vacation? :/ Questions and answers were pretty good.
Contest: Entries were nice. … Don’t really know what more to say. The new contest is quite open.
Last Page: Oh, Holy, Holy, Wung. The Grossest Food. Ever. (Well, maybe that live monkey’s brain I heard about could compete with it. But I’m not 100% sure that was true.) At first, though, I thought the picture was of a hollowed out loaf of bread… then I start reading…- “cheese”… “maggots”… “ooze liquid”… “EAT.”
g_g Thank you, Muse.
Ruth and Andy aren’t on vacation; they were filling in for me while I was on vacation.
25: What about Roseanne?
25- *Facepalm.* You know, after the change, I had never actually totally figured out/read up on why it happened, and assumed they had replaced you… I just Muse-searched “Q&A” a second ago, and I now see the light.
In other words, welcome back to having your name printed in every issue of Muse!
And on a completely different thought, I think we should coin a word for “Muse-search.” I would suggest a combo of “Muse” and “Google,” but that only creates “Muggled,” which does not quite have the same ring. And possibly creates copyright issues.
So that’s what’s been going on. Do they still do anything for Muse?
I was overjoyed by the return of NaK web page spoofs. Perhaps Mini-Myths will make a comeback as well?
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(24) Raynpho, the heart-shaped manhole could be done in a few minutes, actually. There are several possible approaches. I’d probably just mask out the shape, then clone the border (copy what I need from other parts of the photo), then add a touch of drop shadow, as the cover artist did. The Kokopelli in the middle could be shaded “by hand” or given a bevel layer style to create the sense of depth. (Layer styles are customizable special effects that come prepackaged with Photoshop.)
I can’t help you with the feet though.
spoiler February Muse.
The Facebook parody was a bit of a shock, as I had just logged off the computer and facebook, moved to a different part of the house, and opened my Muse… is is bad that I tried to click on the add friend link with my finger, even after realizing that it was fake? Because I wanted to befriend that brick.
most of the articles were meh. The recent Muses always feel like they should have one article more than they do, and it should be completely random. I was not a fan of the theme, although after realizing that it’s the Muse of the month with Valentine’s Day, it’s better.
I’d heard of the last page before and was not shocked by it…
Robert/Roseanne, are you back for good?
29- Ooah. I actually understood all of that except for the beveling part! As a rule, I don’t touch tools unless I completely understand what they do. But ’tis quite cool.
(31) A bevel is simply a slanted edge (such as you often find on the border of mirrors) and the bevel layer style creates shading that simulates the effect, but with additional options that aren’t strictly bevels.
My first Photoshop project made extensive use of the bevel layer style, though at the time I hadn’t the faintest idea what it was capable of. Experimenting with what you don’t understand is a major part of the fun with graphics. That’s how I learned most everything I know. “Hm. I wonder what this does?” is the prelude to many of my best projects. Some deadends, too, but that’s a small price to pay. Besides, some of those deadends turn out to be useful later.
In other words, don’t wait until you understand something to try it. And don’t be discouraged if the initial trials don’t work out. Just be sure to save a copy of your file under a different name before you do anything drastic.
Rosanne decided that her life needed fewer deadlines and more time to play, though she still gives me advice about experts to answer questions. Ruth and Andy have returned to their day jobs and to raising their lovely, funny daughters. I really should visit them when the weather is warmer.
30: Actually, you can befriend Brick. His last name is InSewer (though he currently lives InMyOffice) and he is dying to get some real friends.
34- And I’ve already done a friend request. That is awesome. Do the other “people” have Facebooks too?
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I didn’t get the issue of Muse, but I would really like to know what the eye dilation thing people are talking about is… even ifit ruins something, I will get overit
Spoiler! February 2009 Muse Spoiler!.
Cover: Very nice. Five stars.
Dear Muse Reader: Very fun! Did anyone else notice that the T-shirt in the lower left corner had a picture of the robot from last month’s column on it? Five stars.
Bo’s Page: I’m still stunned–and disturbed–that the telepathy one is real. Five stars.
Kokopelli & Company: Um. It was funny, but rather gross. Three stars.
Notes From the Underground: A bit gross–it is a sewer, after all–but surprisingly interesting. Four stars.
A day at Flakkebjerg: I liked it a lot! It was completely different from the rest of the magazine, and interesting. Good work, Vixen in the Eyes of the Moon! Five stars.
Sniffing for Whales: Ew. It did not hold my attention for very long. Two stars.
Floating Gold, Dragon Spit, Whale’s Pearls: Started out gross but became interesting very quickly. Three and a half stars.
The Sweet Smell of Progress: Semi-interesting. The idea is possibly a good thing, possibly a bad thing. Three stars.
Get Thee to a Tub!: Very interesting, in my opinion. I’m very glad to know why they didn’t bathe often. It had humor, too! Five stars.
Q&A: Quite interesting. Learned several things. Five stars.
Contest: The winners were fun and well done. I don’t think I’ll enter the next contest, but it sounds interesting. Maybe.
Three and a half stars.
Last Page: Gross, but not as gross as I expected. Interesting. Three stars.
Overall: Mostly interesting, somewhat gross and quite satisfying. I was glad to see some non-excerpt articles. Four stars.
I’m just going to give an overall rating.
Complete opinion
Satisfying and a good read. I’m not eating any rotten cheese, though. That made me doubt for the sanity of the Italians culinary arts.
Excellent writing with “A Day at Flakkebjerg” Vixen!
Get Thee to a Tub! was a good article, but made me extremely wary of anyone wearing heavy perfume and showing a linen undershirt.
Five Stars.
spoiler?!.
[Snip! Our ban on references to personally identifying information on other websites remains in force. –Robert]
Yayness I finally got it!!!! It’s only my second actual subscribed Muse, can you believe it?
SPOILER FEBRUARY MUSE SPOILER.
Cover: Very cool. ***** (5 stars)
Dear Muse Reader: HILARIOUS. I don’t have a FaceBook but I’ve seen them, and that is THE most perfect parody!!! ***** (5 stars)
Contents: So-so. It wasn’t a quote, so it was kind of annoying… ***/ (3.5 stars)
Bo’s Page: Those are the strangest facts I’ve ever seen. The telepathy thing was REAL?? ***** (5 stars)
Muse Mail: Poor Feather!!! I’m going to send in a letter one of these days. He is actually my favorite Muse besides Koko. But overall, boring mail… no offense… *** (3 stars)
Koko & Co.: Larry Gonick is hilarious. It’s self-explanatory. ***** (5 stars)
Notes from the Underground: Cool idea, but I found it a little hard to concentrate. **** (4 stars)
Muserology:Vixen, I had no idea! The first thing I thought of when I read it was “Boy, does this sound like Muse Academy.” Great job! I’m thinking of sending in my own about Amahl and the Night Visitors, but I haven’t found time to write it. Can you give me some pointers? ***** (5 stars)
Sniffing for Whales: What was it even about? I couldn’t even concentrate for a minute. ** (2 stars)
Floating Gold, Dragon Spittle, Whale’s Pearl: EW. I’ve heard of ambergris before, but that’s what it is? That’s so weird. ****/ (4.5 stars)
The Sweet Smell of Progress I mostly skipped this one too, Rainbowstar.
Get Thee to a Tub: I already knew about it, but it was semi-interesting. **** (4 stars)
Q&A: Great questions, great answers. Now I don’t have to ask. Thanks, Robert! ***** (5 stars)
Contest: The Door Tree was good, YodaShmoda! The other ones… not so much. Muse doesn’t seem to print exceptional contest entries. Is that because none of them are exceptional? I’m going to enter one one of these days, but not this one. **** (4 stars)
Last Page: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ***** (5 stars) for grossness!!!
SORT OF SPOILERESQUE.
[Snip! To repeat Robert’s statement: “our ban on references to personally identifying information on other websites remains in force.” –Rebecca]
40- I’m with you on the first whale article. No offense to whomever wrote it, but it just did not grab me at all.
41- I was wondering what would happen. My apologies, then.
40- I agree with your opinion of the contests. I’ve never really been a fan of them, to be honest. I had enough of that sort of thing back when I used to get Highlights for Children. I actually had a joke published in one of those.
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So, Mr. Coontz is Robert J. Coontz Jr. I am glad to see you are back to doing the Q&A. Ruth and Andy were nice but you and Roseanne are my favorites. Overall I thoroughly enjoyed this issue. I loved the article about the London sewers. My favorite article is a three way tie: The sewer article, the history of not bathing and the whale vomit!
42(!): During the Lightning issue, I was like, “A seven year old got in…? What the cake?” Although I did love the one with the girl drawing all these animals. Very awesome.
44, etc. (people commenting on the contest entries): Since MUSE has such a wide range of readers, we do factor in the age of contest entrants. For example, a great entry for an 8-year-old might be pretty unimpressive for a 15-year-old. We look for entries that have a lot of thought and effort put into them, no matter what your age. If we just always picked, say, the most realistic drawings, then all the older kids would win and the younger kids would be bored.
That said, if you think you could do a better job…do it!
MUSE SEMI-SPOILER.
The whale vomit article-In science, we are learning about the sense of smell, and the teacher told us about ambergris. I didn’t believe him until I read the article.
Last page-EEEEWWWWW!!!!!! I cannot believe someone would actually eat thet. *shudders*
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Did anyone notice how big the margin cartoons were in this issue? If you compare them to those in older issues, they’re nearly twice their normal size.
SPOILER.
47: I noticed! This time, though, I think we chased the cartoon-enlarging gnome out of this office for good. He’s a persistent bugger but I think he’s finally gotten the message that he is just not welcome here.
21 (Robert)- Ironically, Niflheim has been having trouble with the radiators!
the last page really grossed me out. people eat that???
MUSE SPOILER.
50- It’s not the worst thing I’ve seen people eat. Watch Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern on the Travel Channel, if you can. There’s more to “love” there.
48- Thank goodness. I love Mr. Gonick’s work, but it’s more fitting when it’s small and on the side. Is there any Muse mini-myth in the plans? I hope so. Oh, and congratulate NaK on her First Page. It was flamablamablous to a large degree.
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One of the best Muses in quite a while. Maybe that’s just because I like gross stuff, but Muse captured what I originally liked Muse for – having interesting articles about things you never really think about, like sewers. And I find the fact of Kokopelli flushing a chair down the toilet just plain funny. XD
9/10