Monday, 29 April 2024
Life, the universe, pies, hot-pink bunnies, world domination, and everything
Yes, that Douglas Adams: creator of the Hitchhiker’s Guide series, Dirk Gently, and the long, dark teatime of the soul. We said we’d wait until his birthday, but we just couldn’t. Brace yourself for infinite improbability…
Date: January 17, 2006
Categories: The Universe
PPPPPPLLEAAAAASE let me be the first post??? Pleasy please!!!! *falls to knees*
I ♥ Douglas Adams. Yes i do. Although i have to admit, not as much as queen j. But still enough so that people call me weird…
I LOVE dirk gently!!! And Marvin! Yes yes!
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Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfasionable end of the western spiral of the galaxy lies a small, unreguarded yellow sun. Orbitting this at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly insignifigant little blue-green planet whose ape-desended life-forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea.
This planet has- or rather had- a problem, which was this: Most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time.
Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper. Which was odd, because on the whole it wasn’t the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.
And so the problem remained. Lots of people were mean, and most of these were miserable, even the ones with digital watches.
Then one Thursday, nearly two thousand years after one man had been nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be to be nice to people for a change, a girl sitting on her own in a small cafe in Rickmansworth suddenly realized what had been going wrong all this time, and she finally knew how the world could be made a good and happy place.
Unfortunately, before she could get to a phone to tell anyone about it, the earth was demolished to make way for a new hyperspace bypass, and the idea was lost, seemingly forever.
-Douglass Addams
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FIRST COMMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hopefully…
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OMG i got the first post!!!! Happy happy happy dance!
“If I ever meet myself, I’ll hit myself so hard I won’t know what’s hit me!”
-Zaphod Beeblebrox
LOVE that quote…
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It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near as nothing to make no odds, so the average population of all planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.
-Douglas Adams
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darn it… pwease visit my site!!!! i made my own blog… i feel so special. i’m going to put the link on a seperate post so if you delete it at least i won’t lose this post.
Sorry, Kricket. I’m sure it is special, but we can’t link it. –Robert
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is it the one i signed the guestbook on? if so i’ve been there so ha. If not i don’t know where it is. if you have nationstates u can telegram it to me…with permission of course…
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I have five pages worth of Douglas Adams quotes. Should I list them here?
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On the other hand, human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
-Douglas Adams
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Please, join me.
-Em
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The ways in which the kakapo goes about mating are wonderfully bizarre, extraordinarily long-drawn-out, and almost totally ineffective.
-Douglas Adams
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It’s easy to fly. All you have to do is throw yourself at the ground and miss.
(exact quote not preserved, due to the location of my copy of Mostly Harmless (I think it’s Mostly Harmless) somewhere in the minefield that is A-C’s room)
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He hoped and prayed that there wasn’t an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn’t an afterlife.
– Douglas Adams
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
– Douglas Adams
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
– Douglas Adams
In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.
– Douglas Adams
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I ♥ dirk’s navigational system-find someone who looks like they know where they’re going and follow them. I’d give you a quote to that effect, but i sadly don’t own the dirk gently books. 
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gaaahhhh!!!! must get mostly harmless! i asked for it for christmas but i still haven’t gotten it. grrrrrrrrrrrr…
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Douglass Adams may have good quotes, but I dislike the books he’s written. So. Not. Funny.
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What’s not to like? Ok maybe some of them weren’t that good, but the restaurant at the end of the universe? dirk gently’s holistic detective agency? the hitchiker’s guide to the galaxy? AAAAAHHHHH!!! shun shun. 
lol jk
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I’ve only read the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. That’s the only one. Pitiful, isn’t it? Who else thinks the recent movie was a total screw-up? Okay, the yarn part was funny and the guy they casted for Zaphod was great, but other than that… awful. I mean, they left out the entire immprobability drive scene with the custard and the huge bouncing children and everything!
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wot huge bouncing children?
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I hated it! Zaphod was portrayed as stupid, and he was just a rather annoying and oblivious super-genius.
Quote:
In the beginning, the Universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry and was widely regarded as a bad move.
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Psh. I just thought they were…trying too hard or something.
I liked that alien-bot thing, though. The depressed one.
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Marvin the Paranoid Android.
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I dunno. I liked the petunias and the whale. Although that was in the book, no?
The Vorgons looked like something out of the early Star Wars movies.
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I *however you do that heart thing* Marvin.
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Meh, I haven’t even seen the movie.
YES, Ebeth. That’s him. He nearly made up for some of the unfunniness.
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Yay! Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!!!!!
YAY! 
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy sells rather better than the Encyclopedia Galactica…
Earth: Harmless
Earth: Mostly Harmless
YAY!
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Heart thing…
&*hearts*;
without the asterisks.
I ♥ marvin too!
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I don’t have the book, so I can’t quote, but when Ford and Aurther (is that how you spell his name?) were on Zaphod’s ship, everything was totally insane because of the immprobability drive. They were not in the cabin yet. Anyway, they were walking on the beach and huge children bounced heavily along the beach. Or something like that. I think the guy they had for Zaphod in the movie was good because he was totally obnoxious. But Ford was terrible. It was like he was talking to the wall or he was reeeaaaally bored.
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I &heart; marvin?
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hearts. I &*hearts*; marvin.
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I ♥ Marvin?
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Hooray for HG2tG! (Not Gaboomba, Galaxy.)
I like Marvin and Zaphod Beeblebrox.
“You will never believe how froody I am.”
-Zaphod
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Arthur. Marvin is so cool it’s amazing.
Fun fact: HG2G’s stage for the play version was 5.5 m by 6.5 m. And you could actually get Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters, a sort of blue substance with olives. Unfortuately the recipe has been lost to the salamanders of time, and therefore I can’t help those of you old enough to have it. However, by all reports it was frighteningly alcoholic and one was still lit up the next morning.
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He had little cause to worry, as all mattrasses from Squornshellous Zeta are cut dried and killed before use, and very few have come alive before…
Sorry if it’s inacurrate, I’m not in any way close enough to a Douglas Adams book…
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bcavefish, what’s your blog’s web address?
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[“Dark Waters” link removed. –Admin.]
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Ford, according to Bop Ad (see earlier comments) is supposed to be tall, around thirty, green-eyed, straight haired, and with a habit of grinning too widely, like he is about to lunge for your neck. Note the complete overriding of all this for the movie. SCREW YOU, CAREY KIRKPATRICK!!!!!!
Sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. Still, someone should recognize the man who wrecked Bop Ad’s script. *sob*
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I want to be Dirk Gently in chemist incarnation when I grow up. His pizza is sublime. (“I don’t practice santeria, I ain’t got no crystal ball,”)
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And more importantly, a few words on my obsession:
I sleep with my Ultimate Guide under my pillow. I have memorized the radio series. I listen to the series every morning when I wake up. And I am going to the International Douglas Adams Conference when it comes to Chicago in 2008. It’s currently in the Loire Valley, then goes to Buenos Aires, and then it’s near me. OK? And yes, I have the book memorized.
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So now you’re the “froody Kiador”?
..okay.
By the way, I was playing the HG2G game the other day and I got to the Heart of Gold ship; however, I have no idea what to do now. Help? Are missles suddenly going to show up from nowhere?
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The Froody of Kiador. It’s how I end up introducing myself to people. And Kiador IS froody, after all.
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By the way, I’m having trouble deciding which book should get the prize for “Best title ever in the history of the universe or until I find a better one”: The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul” or So Long and Thanks for All the Fish. Which do you guys think?
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tea-time.
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I think so long and thanks for all the fish, because it’s more useful in everyday life. And very frightening
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I like the Hitchhiker’s Guide–the old one. I don’t like the new one, it’s not that good.
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due to recent scary philosophical conversation with myself in the shower, i shall be reading hitchhiker’s guide all night.
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Not a bad occupation, Em. Not at all. Zarquon knows how many nights I’ve stayed up late listening/reading to it. Oh, the lengths I go to for obsession…
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ack!!!! some message just popped up on my computer with one of those really freaky noises!!!!
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long philosophical conversations with yourself in the shower are the meat and drink of life. As is Douglas Adams.
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Way! Lizzie had the 42nd comment…I never get any of the good spots.
I am reading P.G. Wodehouse at the moment. Acidic satire, baby. Today I used a Zaphod line at school:
Jack (skeleton incident): What book is that?
Me: Just a Vonnegut I haven’t read yet.
Jack: A Vonnegut?
Me: As in Kurt Vonnegut, an author.
Jack: Why is it called Slaughterhouse Five?
Me: What are we playing, twenty questions?
Jack: I’m asking the questions. Chill.
Me: I am so cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis.
Jack: Uh, Juliette, that’s you, right?
Me: Count the heads, baby. *enjoys look on Jack’s face*
Jack: You are sooooooooo weird…
Me: *makes pfuit! sound*
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everyone is wierd in their own way…
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I laughed so hard when I read that……..
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I’m so hot the planets revolve around me.
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Modest too, Lusifer baby. Still, I love that line.
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She made it up. I take no credit.
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That’s an orginal Mrs. Lusifer line. Of course, my husband is flaming, but that’s for different reasons.
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DOUGLAS ADAMS!!!!!
*happy dance*
Seriously, he was an amazing writer and a great person. Right up there with Caesar and Alexander the Great in my opinion. My only regret is that I never found the time to send him a fan letter. 
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happy happy happy happy Douglas Adams!!!!!!!!! awesome, awesome writer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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who?
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yes yes yes!!!!!!
i luuuuuurve douglas adams!!!!!!!!
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he iz just aboot the bestst author ever.
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and i like terry pratchett, 2. have u ever read his books? they are WICKED
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Have you ever tried Dirk Gently pizza? (Look in Salmon, it’s spicy minced beef, cheese, pepperoni, egg, and sausage) It’s delicious. Pure heaven on a slice. If you can find a restaurant that’ll do it. The egg is the hard part. Those of you who have access to pizza restaurants should try it.
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i love the hitchhikers guide!!! did anyone see the movie? its one of those thats still funny even if uve seen it a million times before. well, atleast thats what i think…
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I need too read the books. I’ve only seen the movie. *sigh*
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*gasp* Anata you have to read the books!!!!!! They are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much better than the movie!!!!!!!!!!
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It’s breaking one of the Muse Rules that you can’t see a movie before you read the book.
QUICK! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!!
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woops. refer to the second one. lo siento.
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There are Muse Rules? Anarchy is sooo much more-well-free.
Anata, you HAVE to read the books. It’s a quick read, and the radio series is even better.
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I just barely read the book before the movie. The movie was about to come out when we went on vacation and my brother got the book out of the library for school. Yes The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy was a book he was allowed to read for extra credit or something in school. Anyway he finished it in like an hour (as is the way with him) but we couldn’t take it back because we were at the beach. So being bored one day, I picked it up thinking, “Hmm, I wonder if this is any good.” As I had only just heard of it a month before. Little did I know what I was holding in my hands! I saw the movie a while later and it SUCKED! Always read the book first if at all possible. Just look at what they did to poor Chitty-chitty Bang Bang!
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could somebody please tell me how to get a babel fish?
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I’ve nearly figured it out: You take Ford’s towel and satchel. You take your robe off and hang it on the hook. You put the towel over the drain. You put the satchel against the robot panel. Then I can’t figure out how to get the “upper-part-of-the-room cleaner robot” from getting it when I press the dispenser button.
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What do you do in the Dark? (not turn on the light-i’m talking about the Dark. The one after you press the green button)
Awesome game btw! Thanx whoever!
I should probably look the name up, but i have to get past the dark now…was it phoenix? queen j? the phantom norker? Who knows…
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I can only get outside the house. Ford Prefect NEVER shows up, no matter what I do.
That game is SOOO hard…
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You just lie down and wait for a long time. You type in wait like seven times and then you wait some more after ford comes and offers you a towel and then you wait while he talks to prosser and then it lets you get up. Otherwise you DIE! Mwahahaha!!!
I’ve died three times from drinking too much beer. 
Oh my.
GAPA: *gasp* EBETH’S DRUNK!!! GET HER OFF THE BLOG!!!!!!!!!!
ok ok i’m only virtually drunk. Actually i’m virtually dead. So calm down…
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In the “Dark,” type “smell” several times. When the shadow appears, type “look at the shadow.”
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OH!!! You smell!!! AHA! Ok. Never mind.
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Wait yeah. The chairman just said that.
I’m on the heart of gold now, but i think i’m lost. I made the mistake of following marvin. (heehee ♥ marvin. Marvin now has crazy stalker fangirls. )
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I’m most definitely lost now. What do you do when you find the gun?
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AAAH! where do you go from entry bay #2? I’m walking in circles!!!
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how do i save?
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You can’t save online. If you find somebody who actually has the game you can save…
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fine then. how do i stop the second cleaning robot?
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Put the junk mail from the beginning on top of the satchel, and the robot will clean it up instead of the fish.
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ooooooooooohhhhhhh! i put the junk mail on the satchel and then the cleaning robot grabs it instead!
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okay then, what do i do now?
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i’m on the bridge… nothing is happening. what do i do?
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Oh, so that’s how you keep from dying whenever you get up. I was stuck on that part. Funny how you can still play a couple turns after you’re dead. “You stay out of this, you’re dead and should be focusing on working up a nice, firm Rigor Mortis.”
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that’s where i’m stuck. I’ve been wandering around in circles and eventually commiting suicide (Marvin’s influence, no doubt. You can do that by typing “kill arthur”)
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Okay, so now I’m stuck in the dark. And the hints aren’t helping very much. ‘don’t count your senses before they’re hatched’? Is that supposed to help me somehow?
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type ‘smell’ until you get a message about a shadow, and then type ‘examine shadow’ and then eat the peanuts.
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I am officially afraid of the Dark.
When you get to the whale, try licking it.
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I actually like the non-graphic version better, but unfortunately, you can’t save on it. Has anyone looked at the “for your amusment” (or something of that sort) section in the hints page? It’s on the site with the graphic edition.
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Alas, you are all too young to remember the excellent adaptations done by the BBC – the first on radio, the second on televsion. The television series was excellent. Much closer to the book than the film.
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Can we please talk about the books instead of the online game? I haven’t played it.
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So long and thanks for all the fish!
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So long and thanks for all the fish!
Hey! Why won’t my comment be submitted already?
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Finally! I couldn’t submit it! I had to click like twenty times before It worked. But then it turned out i submitted it twice.
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Douglas Adams! Amazing…
Does anyone know where you can *get* the game?
And I am of the opinion that his Dirk Gently books are at least as good, if not better, as his HG2G books. -states with no particular reason-
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-sighs and corrects self- Since this will probably be picked on…
Would anyone care to INFORM me where to get the game? You all obviously know where to get it.
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