Just Friends, v. 2011
A thread for discussing non-romantic relationships.
Continued from Just Friends, v. 2009.
Date: December 9, 2011
Categories: Life
Comments RSS TrackBack 36 comments
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Agent Lightning
in December 9th, 2011 @ 23:47Thank you, GAPAs!
I feel like I am not being a good enough friend to my friends. I feel like I am igoring them but Life Is Too Busy And I Am Forgetful. A pathetic excuse, yet so applicable to my life.
I do not want to be unfaithful to them be ause they are really nice for me and am I being too impatient and demanding with them?
*sighs and tears hair out*
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Ducky
in December 10th, 2011 @ 18:56Recently I’ve been talking on the phone to a guy from camp (Let’s call him S). He’s 17 (18 in two months) and I’m 14.(He thought I was 16 at first xD) He does find me to be attractive, but we’ve agreed that we’re just going to be friends, due to the age gap.
The thng is, my parents don’t really believe me that he’s not a creeper who just wants to get in my pants. >.< He's visiting some people nearby in the spring, and I really want to hang out with him then, but my parents aren't totally liking that idea. *sigh*
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Agent Lightning
in December 11th, 2011 @ 15:33Hmm, let them talk to him and/or his parents? That could convince them, possibly?
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Ducky
in December 14th, 2011 @ 16:41Yes, I’ll do that the next time he calls (hopefuly tonight).
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Ducky
in December 14th, 2011 @ 16:43Platonic love is one of the best things ever.
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Cat's Eye
in December 16th, 2011 @ 00:46We had the option to send Holiday-O-Grams today at school, and Terpsichore sent me one (plus a candy cane) that said,
“(this sounds like a love letter. it is, but not like that.)
Much has been said about your role in my life, but it can never be said enough: you saved my life, and I cannot thank you enough. You are beautiful and talented and fantastic. Keep being that way. I love you with all of my heart.”
And the stationery of the card had two bears, and she colored in the dress and bow of one and turned the shirt and pants on the other and drew a bow on it. And wrote, “fabulous lesbian/bi bears, ahoy!”
ugh guys I love my moirail so much
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Mikazuki
in December 18th, 2011 @ 19:40Um, it’s probably not a good thing when an extremely geeky boy says he’s ashamed to be seen with you and your friends sometimes is it? Ugh. I usually don’t care what people think. At least, I didn’t last year. But last year I knew everyone in my grade really well and I didn’t care what they thought because I didn’t like them. And now I’m feeling like maybe I do care what some people at my new school think. I wish I was less socially awkward. There are a lot of people I would really like to be friends with now, who seem cool and nice and awesome. I just keep being odd and stupid around them and I don’t know why.
But the friends I already have are really amazing. They might annoy me sometimes and we basically spent last year trying not to kill each other, but I really value their friendship. ♥
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Agent Lightning
in December 22nd, 2011 @ 15:02Aw, caring what people think is the WORST. *squid* People tell you to be yourself and everyone will like you for who you are, but that’s not true. There will always be people who don’t like you for who you are. But for every person who doesn’t, there is someone who does. You just have to find them. So keep being you, even if who you are is socially awkward. I’m socially awkward too. I totally know the feeling. Especially the bit about cool-nice-awesome people who you’d like to be friends with but you’re being awkward around them. Having this problem myself, I haven’t solved it yet. My general strategy is to keep my mouth shut so none of those awkward things I say and those awkward gasping laughs I do when something’s funny can escape. Sometimes I even come across as a quiet person. But I know the feeling- it’s been nagging me since the sixth grade and I know how terrible it is. I hope this helped. Good luck. *choklit*
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Mikazuki
in December 26th, 2011 @ 20:07Thank you. *hugs*
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*Cskia
in December 22nd, 2011 @ 09:51I love my friends. I think they love me, too; four of them told me I am their best/closest/favorite friend and they like to huggle me and call me “stuffie” because they think I am very huggable. Which makes me feel looooooved
I drew each of my good friends a picture for the holiday season/break/birthday-if-it-is-near/etc. and they LIKED
I got a paper squid. Gosh, my non-MuseBlogger friends clearly know what I like. Swalot even stated thatI like squids so much he could get me a pet squid for my birthday. :3
I realize that this post is rather disorganized and I am not sure how coherent it is but Cskia is happy squuuuuuuuuuuuid *makes squidlike arm motions*
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Castle
in December 22nd, 2011 @ 11:01D’AWWWWWWd’awwwd’awwwwd’awww
I can’t stop.
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SilverLeopard
in January 1st, 2012 @ 20:28The whole “best friend” idea has been bothering me lately. I have a IRL friend, who I shall call Blue, who I generally think of as my best friend, and that’s how she thinks of me, too. We’re really similar in many ways, but sometimes I just feel irrationally annoyed with her. This might be partly because she corrects me all the time, she’s better at math than me and (occasionally, indirectly, not on purpose) makes me feel stupid, or because she seems to find the company of the two boys in our free block more interesting than me, Zzz, and Zombie (don’t ask how she got that name), (the girls, her friends,) in free block. I have other (IRL) friends who I’m really close to. Dragon has introduced me to many things I’ve loved, and we have similar tastes in music and share a cynical, sarcastic sense of humor. Zzz is just a fun person who I’ve grown closer to because my brother invites her brother over all the time. She’s my only friend who I see regularly out of school. Smiles is one of the kindest people ever. She’s always there with a hug. I’ve been friends with Tiger since 3rd grade, and she’s compassionate, fun-loving, energetic, and accepting. I normally never have problems between me and my friends.
So my questions are, how do I keep Blue as a close friend? How do I make my friendship with Blue like my friendships with Dragon, Zzz, Smiles, and Tiger? Do I just let it play out, or try to notice this less?
Also… I have some friends who are in ninth grade and came back to the middle school to be on the robotics team. I work on a robot with them, along with Zzz, Zombie, and a 5th grader, Snow. I always feel like they don’t want us to help at all, don’t want us to drive the robot even though we’ve been practicing… it’s like they just don’t want us there. I want to still be friends with them, but I’m having a hard time. Zombie genuinely likes them, and it’s always like “Hey, can I help?” “Yeah, could you run up and get us three keps nuts?” “Um, okay, sure.” Snow sort of quit, and Zzz and I are getting sick of hanging around quoting A Very Potter Musical and A Very Potter Sequel. What do I do??? I really don’t want to quit, because competitions are a ton of fun, and I really liked going to the big championship last year. But going to the meetings just gets more and more tedious, and with History Day, Zzz, Zombie and I can’t use free blocks on the robot, because we’re not in the same Social Studies class and need school time (we’re working together — last year it was Blue, Zzz and me, and we wanted to work together again, but Blue opted out because she said we weren’t preparing and spending time on it.).
If you read all of that, you are incredibly flammy.
Now I feel fickle, but I’ll post this anyway.
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bubbles
in January 6th, 2012 @ 17:59Well, hello MuseBlog. I’ve haven’t been back here in awhile, but here goes…. (I hope this is the right thread for this sort of post…)
One of my bestest friends has been sort of… I don’t think depressed is the right word… but he’s been putting himself down a lot and insisting that he’s not smart/good enough.
I understand where this is coming from – he didn’t get into the high school he wanted and is now convinced it’s because he’s not intelligent enough, not because Chicago’s selective enrollment admissions process is based on some ridiculous algorithm and a very convoluted point system.
He’s a great friend and hysterically funny and very bright and just wonderful to be around, but he just doesn’t believe me when I tell him so.
What should I do???
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Castle
in January 6th, 2012 @ 22:36bubbles!
Tell him MORE. Get more friends to tell him the same thing.
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bubbles
in January 7th, 2012 @ 12:08Thanks for that…. I’m on a mission now!
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Nervous, very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am..
in February 13th, 2012 @ 18:48But why will you say that I am mad?
Because I’m being paranoid and coming here incognito. Not because of me, but because of the people this concerns. Not that it’s anything really super serious, but I feel like this might be a bit personal. Which I don’t really feel comfortable posting. But I need to get this out there. And now nobody knows who I am. So I’m disconnecting everything.Hearken! and observe how healthily –how calmly I can tell you the whole story.
Hi… My friend Annie (not her real name) is being friendly. She’s being a great friend. She’s everything a friend should be. This is not a problem, right?
Um… I should back up…
so I was at talking. To That Guy Who’s Friends With Everyone. And That Guy Who’s Friends With Everyone and I were talking about, of all things, Jay (again NOT a real name) , a friend/slight romantic interest/crush. TGYFWE and Jay are really good friends. We were talking about how sad it is that the ADD meds they keep him on make him all depressed and stuff. Not depressed so much as…emotionless… it’s a side effect… and how it’s really a shame he has to take them, and it’s not like his grades slip when he doesn’t take them and on and on. He’s a really great guy and I know he has so much spirit, so much personality and energy, because I’ve seen him like that, but that energy just gets… buried. Naturally, I’m concerned for him and this puts me in a bit of a distressed mood. My crush on him probably doesn’t help. I want to see him happy. I hate seeing him like this.
During gym class I, being naturally very open with people, mention being distressed to Annie. She is concerned. I don’t feel like discussing this with her, and she continues to ask me. I tell her yes, we’re friends, no, nothing’s wrong, but… she doesn’t believe me.
And I really, really, don’t want to talk about it. It’s just something that vaguely saddens me, but I’d rather not discuss it with her. Now I’m just kind of worried that she’ll think something’s wrong with me, like something serious i.e. if I were cutting or doing drugs. Which I’m not, and I probably never will. So I just don’t want to break my friendship with her, but how do I explain the whole “Yes, it’s making me sad, no, it’s nothing serious, and no, I don’t want to discuss it with you” thing?
I’m sorry, I just kind of had to get that out there. Hm. Of course, nobody ever reads this thread.
And if you’ve figured out who I am, either I put in way too much detail or you’re reading my posts way too carefully. Please don’t try and figure out my identity.
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Choklit Orange
in February 13th, 2012 @ 20:48I’m sorry that you’re in distress, but on the Jay front I have little advice to offer. Here is my advice for getting off the topic with Annie:
I don’t suggest changing the subject a lot, because Annie seems pretty perceptive and would probably be more concerned. I would really suggest just looking her in the eye, smiling so she doesn’t take it as a rebuffal, and saying, “If it’s alright, I don’t really feel like talking about this right now. Don’t worry, I’m fine! Really, I am,” followed by some inquiry about her life.
Good luck.
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Nervous, very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am..
in February 17th, 2012 @ 13:37Thank you. We haven’t talked about it lately.
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ZNZ
in February 17th, 2012 @ 06:31Is it normal to just… really not want to be with your friends sometimes? I only have one real irl friend, and I do like her a lot, and we’re always together at school (and we’re in all the same classes) but I’ve been feeling that way recently, like I just can’t deal with being around her, I don’t want to talk to anyone, and I don’t want anyone to talk to me, and I don’t know how to tell her that? and if I do she’ll think something’s wrong, which… there is some stuff wrong, some stuff I need to think through, I guess, but none of it is her fault or even has to do with her, really, and I don’t want to talk to her about any of it. And I don’t want to hurt her, and that’s what worries me, is that I might hurt her feelings, if, I dunno, I just sit alone at lunch with no explanations or anything, because we always sit together.
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Agent Lightning
in February 17th, 2012 @ 13:36Although I have zero constructive advice to give, I know exactly how you feel. *huggles* I hope things get better.
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Selcothe Sicaria
in March 27th, 2012 @ 04:50“Why do you like me?”
“You’re fun to try to figure out. You usually tell people exactly what you think of them, whether they want to hear it or not. When you don’t, you have reasons, and that’s another thing I can try to figure out about you. You’ve definitely gotten better at being honest about what you want, which is nice. You can be a smeghead sometimes, but you acknowledge it, and we’re pretty well-matched in that respect, honestly. You know yourself better than a lot of people I know, but that’s still not that much. You’re not as manipulative as most people I know, and it’s in a completely different way from them when you are. You have issues, you make mistakes, you keep things to yourself unnecessarily, but you don’t pretend you’re perfect, invincible, victimized, mentally ill for social appeal, or your own special category of special things with only you in it. You’re human, and you don’t try to pretend otherwise, and it’s relieving.”
“Wow. That’s the best answer I’ve ever gotten for that question. :3”
“I like how real you are, and how surreal it is that it’s that hard to find someone who is.”
“Thank you. :)”
“You’re very much welcome. :3”
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Piggy
in July 26th, 2012 @ 11:42I think it’s cool how you can hang out with someone from middle school that you haven’t seen in five years and lose four hours without realizing it while coming up with a fantastic movie plot idea that you agree to keep working on tomorrow as well. I’ve only seen this friend twice since middle school (once earlier this summer and once today), but somehow we’ve kept a really good connection with each other–we’re somehow closer now than we were back then. And this project that we’re working on is really fantastic as well. To be honest, I think it would probably fit better as a novel, but film’s his obsession and I’m completely fine with that. I wish he would transfer to my university (grumble, grumble) but we’ll make do.
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bookgirl_me
in August 19th, 2012 @ 16:19Meh, headhurt time now. A former close friend and a former sort-of-friend have signed up for driving lessons together at a place close by, and I’m thinking of asking to join them, but at the same time I don’t want to intrude.
They and one other girl from my former homeroom have spent practically the whole summer together (they were the ones who went on the trip to Amsterdam to *erm* have certain locally legal opportunities) and since they have this whole party-hard thing going on and I’ve been away/too self preoccupied, I haven’t spent much time with them and definitely feel on the outs.
On one hand, they’re really nice and I used to be best friends with one of them, on the other hand, I don’t want to just foist myself on them and I’m worried they won’t answer honestly if I ask them if it’s okay for me to join them and I’ll just end up an awkward/unwanted third wheel. I’d rather be in a class filled with strangers where I can meet new people than be unwanted with former friends. But anyway, I’ll just sleep on it and maybe call my friend tomorrow and just ask anyway.
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Bibliophile
in October 25th, 2012 @ 22:53There’s this pair of girls who are best friends, and I’m friends with them, too. We have great conversations when I can talk to one of them. But when they’re in the same room, I can’t understand a word they say because they only talk about Homestuck. I’m not exaggerating–okay, I do understand some of their individual words, but I really cannot think of a single full sentence they’ve uttered together that didn’t include any references.
They definitely aren’t excluding me on purpose, and I don’t feel hurt or offended. But I’d kind of like to take the friendship a bit farther, because they’re really only my casual acquaintances right now, and they’re awesome. The thing is… Homestuck is, from what I can gather, an extremely time-consuming thing. I’m rather busy, and I don’t know if I want to look into it… I’m not really sure why I’m talking about it, because I don’t really expect advice or anything. I’m just a tad bit frustrated.
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Bibliophile
in November 11th, 2012 @ 10:50There’s a boy in a couple of my classes who’s really smart and nice and funny and shares more of my interests than anyone else I know at my school. I really, really would like be friends with him. However, I am awful at initiating anything. Lately, I’ve had some practice making friends, and I can do it okay (well, I can at least make casual acquaintances, even though I still haven’t figured out what happens next), but I’ve never tried with a boy before, and I have a feeling there are a few nuances I don’t know about. For instance, how do I make sure I’m not sending the wrong message? I’d really appreciate any advice here–and nothing is too basic because I’m really ignorant.
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LittleBasementKitten
in November 11th, 2012 @ 13:37Is this the place to post friendship problems?
So I have this friend. I’ll call her Eva. I used to be really good friends with her in middle school, but it seems like her entire personality has changed between 8th and 9th grade. She’s really erratic now: I don’t know whether my jokes will be met with a black stare and straight face or slight giggling or anything. She also enjoys torturing me with thinly veiled insults, but snaps whenever I so much as touch her stuff.
Last month I very nearly exploded at her when I tried to say what I was feeling when she was being sort of mean because I was really tired and cranky and hormonal-y. Well, it’s that time of the month again and I can feel the rage at her building. I just…don’t think our friendship is very constructive.
Problem is, she’s friends with a bunch of my nice, non-confusing friends, so even if I break it off with her I still have to see her at lunch. Plus she sits behind me in one of my classes, so it’s not like I only see her in the hallways and at lunch.I really don’t know what to do. If I stay, I’ll explode, if not this month then some other time. If I leave, things will be awkward. I don’t have any experience with breaking off friendships: it’s always been a mutual drifting apart. *angst*
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Choklit Orange
in November 11th, 2012 @ 17:59Allosaur ♥
I love having a friend who understands me completely, is unbelievably intelligent, manages to be snarky and sarcastic and funny about pretty much anything, and is yet the sweetest person in the world.
My best friend is the best friend.
(I mean, I don’t mean to exclude your best friends, obviously. Just that I love her so much.)
This has been an Allosaur appreciation post.
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*Cskia
in November 11th, 2012 @ 20:49I’m so happy you have such a great friend.
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Jadestone
in November 30th, 2012 @ 01:31This is to someone I once considered a best friend but went through a terrible cycle of emotional manipulation with last year. She sent me two messages, one in september that I didn’t respond to and one last week (she transferred schools over the summer). I am responding to the latter now as she may be in my college visiting this weekend and I do not want her to seek me out in person to try to talk about things (it would not be good for me).
I don’t know what to say but after a lot of typing and and retyping drafts I guess this is the closest thing I have.
I know on some level that I should really just not engage, but I think I need the closure of having it finalized, otherwise I’ll always be afraid she’ll try to make contact again.
_____________
Hello. I hope OSU has been treating you well.
To adress your question in your message about where things stand between us:
The end of last year clearly implied you were no longer interested in being friends. You stopped talking to me, blocked me from your profile on Facebook, told other people I care about you weren’t interested in seeing them/being their friend anymore, and transferred schools without telling me. Even if that was not what you intended, although I am not sure what kind of signal you might otherwise have been trying to send, after three months of no communication from you I assumed you had made your decision and began moving on with my own life.
Last year I was in a terrible place emotionally for almost 3/4 of the year, and a large deal of the emotional stress came from our relationship. Looking back, there are clear cycles where things would seem fine and then dissolve. This was incredibly stressful for me, especially since it only escalated with time. Things were in a horrible place between us for over half a semester. While mediation seemed to help initially, for various understandable reasons we were not able to continue with it. However, there were still many unresolved issues. They are things I cannot ignore, and I am sad to say some of them are things I’m not sure I will ever be able to fully get over. There were moments that hurt me deeply and they are things I won’t ever be able to forget, even if I wanted to.
I don’t think it would be healthy for us to try to be close again. Part of me will always be afraid that the trends of last year will continue or resurface. As much as I truly, deeply miss the wonderful adventures we had, I cannot go through that ordeal again. This makes me incredibly sad, but I was an absolute wreck emotionally. Although I have been able to heal a lot in the intervening time, and while I am not opposed to keeping things cordial, to be able to be close in any way I would need to have these past issues resolved and I am not sure if this is something that is either possible or worth attempting.
I will always treasure the adventures we had together, and have been doing my best to not let what came after tarnish those memories. But I don’t think we will ever be able to have the kind of friendship we used to have.
I wish things were different.
Jade.
_____________I guess any opinions/help with wording/suggestions would be appreciated if you have them, though I will probably send this out sometime tomorrow morning/afternoon.
wharglbargl
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bookgirl_me
in November 30th, 2012 @ 07:46I doubt I’m the best person to consult on these matters, but I’d suggest a more concise, less emotional and -simply put- blunt response. I’m Austrian: I don’t know how much redundant niceties have to be included to make something properly polite, so feel free to add a few in to what I’m about to propose.
You say that you two went through a very though period of emotional manipulation. Regardless to who was actually at fault, people generally don’t tend to see eye to eye on who crossed which line in what order and what was appropriate and/or justified at which time. Repeating your history together won’t help you make your point in this letter.
Even if she agrees with the basic timeline, she’ll disagree with the portrayal, or your interpretation, or claim you omitted something important… It gives her fuel for further argument or discussion. Of course, she might just agree with everything and (fake)apologize in an attempt to get close to you again. In my (admittedly limited) experience, people rarely agree to someone’s else’s version of a painful argument or fight, if only on principle. Which means you need to provide another rebuttal in face of a dubious apology. Maybe it’s cathartic to you to write your history out- then do so, but in your letter it just hurts your case. Get rid of all those parts (1-2).
You said you know on some level you shouldn’t re-engage. Go with that gut instinct. Your whole letter sounds like you’re trying to apologize, and then softly nudge your ex-friend and hope she goes away. That’s a sign that you’re a kind, loving and compassionate person, but unfortunately, it’s not the best message to send to someone who’s been emotionally manipulative in the past and who(m?) you really don’t want to deal with right now.
Let her off the hook. You tried to salvage the relationship- you went to meditation and obviously tried to work through those issues, but they proved too difficult. That’s okay. Sometimes, relationships just don’t work out, even when both sides try hard (and even less if they don’t). There are circa 6,973,738,433 people living on the planet right now: you don’t have to be emotionally compatible with every one of them.
All the mentions of “wishing things were different” are giving her a foot in the door, a reason to come back and say “but you miss those times too; we could work things out; I promise this time etc etc etc”. You’ve stated you don’t want that and that there would be no point in pursuing the relationship further. In your letter, that gets a little lost. For instance, I’d change the last sentence to something along the lines of “I’m sorry things are this way.” Because they are. Unless you’re willing to enter into a debate, you might as well state your “facts” as “facts”. Get rid of the maybes and the conjunctives. You want her to stay out of your life, not show up with crocodile tears or chocolates.
From my point of view, this person has mistreated you, you’ve parted, she’s pestered you, you just want her to keep away and you owe her nothing except basic human cordiality. You have a right to not want certain people in your life and, should they chose to ignore that, a right to (somewhat politely, yet firmly) tell them to go away. Anyway, here’s my (blunt) version of your (much kinder) letter. I’ve tried to borrow your phrasing as much as possible.
Hello.
To adress your question in your message about where things stand between us:
While we may have had a close friendship *insert long ago time here*, it dissolved into a vicious cycle that could not be broken despite our attempts at mediation. This *(and everything else we tried)* was ultimately unsuccessful and simply left unresolved issues that I don’t think are possible or worth attempting to resolve.
In short, I don’t think it would be healthy for us to try to be close again.
I regret that things had to turn out this way. I hope OSU has been treating you well and wish you luck with your further studies there.
Jade.
((About the sentence about keeping things cordial: by making the email cordial, you make your point enough.))
Obviously, you don’t need to be as much of a bitca as I am, but firmness goes a long way in an emotional setting. This letter is about setting boundaries, not righting past wrongs or apologizing (or, at least, it shouldn’t be- that will just bring her to your door and open up another Pandora’s box or problems). I’m sorry if the letter got too blunt to be useable- politeness = not my strong suit.
Anyway, whatever you decide to write, I wish you luck.
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Jadestone
in November 30th, 2012 @ 17:41Thank you this was really helpful ♥
You’re absolutely right about some stuff in there.
It might make me feel mean but will be better in the long run to use some of the things you suggested.
Going to wait a few days to send it now, though. Found out she got into town today, as opposed to tomorrow, and I don’t want to send it to her while she’s actually here. It’d be too much like making ~drama~ and I don’t want any part of that sort of thing. I’ll just avoid interaction the next few days : /
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Jadestone
in December 4th, 2012 @ 01:08Welp
it’s sent.
It’s over now, for better or worse.
Sigh.
At least things are done.
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bookgirl_me
in April 16th, 2013 @ 13:57Advice please? Right now, I have two good friends in college; *the guy* and *the girl* (you can already see where this is going right?). And he likes her, she likes him, both are awkwardly shy but are starting to figure it out. I think they’d be a great couple, yada yada, but I’m also a bit worried about being the third wheel when they finally figure it out. I spend pretty much all of my time at uni with them, so I’m sort of stuck at wondering how to preemptively ditch them without preemptively ditching them. Which I don’t want to do in the first place.
And I’m not really in a good place wit my life right now either- my family is …difficult as usual, my friends from high school who functioned as ersatz-family have drifted apart and the last two people who were keeping me sane are going to want me around less in the future. Ugh.
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Jadestone
in April 19th, 2013 @ 12:59Having your two best friends start dating can be tricky, but it doesn’t mean you won’t get to see them at all or that you need to preemptively cut yourself off from them. If/when they do start dating, then yes you will probably see them less for a while, but trust me when I say that fun hangouts can still happen with them!
When I’m in these situations, for me it makes it easiest (and me feel the least like a third wheel) when, when we hang out, we do it in a relatively neutral space. Like, we do homework together in a lounge or all go out for ice cream as a group, rather than say going to one of their rooms to all hang out (which sometimes does make me feel like I’m intruding, but I also might be overly sensitive to that sort of thing).
Also, if at firs they DO get caught up in the ~new couple magic first few weeks~, it is perfectly acceptable to approach one or both of them and say something like “Hey, I know you guys are dating now and I think you’re great together, but I miss spending time with you guys as friends, and was hoping we could all do something together sometime soon when you’re not busy.” Or something else that lets them know you miss their company, but not in a you-regret-they’re-dating way.
Okay my sentences above are all terrible. But tl;dr while it might be hard at first I don’t think you’re going to lose them as friends, and if it starts to feel that way you can always mention something to one of them.
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Midnight Fiddler
in April 19th, 2013 @ 13:57I was/am in pretty much this exact situation, except that my friends-who-I-went-everywhere-with are also my suite-mates, which puts me even more on top of the situation.
Jade being her Wise Self as usual, all of her advice is excellent. It’s important to talk to your friends, and it’s fair to ask them for time because they are your closest friends and you need their support.
My other piece of advice you probably won’t like much, and that is to pursue other friendships a little more while your main friends are off together. I know it’s scary and seems hard and generally No Fun and that it’s too late in the year to actually make new friends or get closer or whatever else, but I feel like I can pretty confidently say it is not as impossible as it may seem at first.*hugs*
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Choklit Orange
in May 15th, 2013 @ 23:57I just baked a birthday cake for someone who isn’t speaking to me.
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