Monty Python
At randomrohanfreak’s almost everyone’s request, because nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
Date: November 20, 2005
Categories: Things We like
Comments RSS TrackBack 109 comments
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KitKat
in November 20th, 2005 @ 13:451st Post!!!! Yay!!! Tweet?
Ebeth? Where are yoooooou?
What??? A Monty Python thread was by request of me!!!!!
Hrmph..
My favorite skit is “Dennis Moore”Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore,
riding through the night,
Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore,
steals only to give light,
He steals from the poor,
to give to the rich,
stupid beeeeep(Dennis Moore is a guy who gives away lupins.)
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KitKat
in November 20th, 2005 @ 13:46It’s so odd, how we have a Monty Python skit like this!!
It’s like the Spainish Inquisition!!
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The Spanish Inquisition.
in November 20th, 2005 @ 13:54*takes on a run after getting out of taxi, swerves into building, takes elevator, urgently presses level 4, runs out when door opens, busts down french wood door, and screams…*
NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!!!!
1st priest: Confess, girl!!!!
2nd man: Shall I get something, sire??
1st priest: Yessss….get the snuggly cover!!!!
3rd Priest: The s-snuggly cover???
*gasp!*
1st Priest: Mwhahahaha!!!
KitKat in her mind: My, I could be in this snuggly cover for the rest of my life. Aah. Better relax.
1st priest: Now…WILL YOU CONFESS?
KitKat: Confess?
1st priest: Yes, yes, for NOT EXPECTING THE SPANISH INQUISITION!!!
*the real inquisition comes in*
Bishop: Sorry, ma’am, it looks like our misfits took the job…now…
*gets a crazed look in his eye
We must put you in the-the-the
RECLINING ROCKER!!!!To be continued…
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Phoebe
in November 20th, 2005 @ 13:58Ni! Ni!
I’ve only seen Holy Grail, because my mom won’t let me see the other ones. *grumblemumble.*
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Lizzie
in November 20th, 2005 @ 15:53I’m a lumberjack and I’m okay!
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Phoenix
in November 20th, 2005 @ 16:05…and hope that there’s intelligant life somewhere out there in space, because there’s [word that is considered very bad in England, so I won’t say it… b*****] none down here on earth!
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sciencegeek27
in November 20th, 2005 @ 18:38I like the Man Eating Bunny thing on the Holy Grail!
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Artemis Fowl II
in November 20th, 2005 @ 20:1130th post, Yay! (I can not count) Yay! Man eating bunnies rule!!! “Ni ” to you.
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Artemis Fowl II
in November 20th, 2005 @ 20:13Yay! 3 posts in a row! (I still can not count) Nudge ,Nudge, wink, wink. Phoebe, you are not alone. My parents won’t let me see some of them/ haven’t rented them yet.
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Agent007
in November 20th, 2005 @ 20:15The name’s Bond, James Bond.
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Ebeth The Lurker
in November 20th, 2005 @ 21:08that’s james bond, not monty python.
hey guys my monty python instinct would have driven me here immidiately but I was at the play. (closing..yes! finally! I can go back to my sad absence of a life now!!!)
this is the holy grail script we were typing on the guy fawkes thread (from memory thank you very much)
this is phoenix. this was actually typed later but it goes at the beginning.
Oh, yeah, subtitles for the credits (every space is a seperate screen):
Røten nik Akten Di
Wik
Alsø wik
Alsø alsø wik
Wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yër?
See the løveli lakes
The wøndërful telephøne system
And mäny interesting furry animals
Including the majestik møøse
A møøse once bit my sister…
No realli! She was Karving her initials øn the møøse with the sharpened end
of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge – her brother-in-law -an Oslo
dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: “The Høt Hands of an Oslo
Dentist”, “Fillings of Passion”, “The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink”…
We apologise for the fault in the
subtitles. Those responsible have been
sacked.
Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti…
We apologise again for the fault in the
subtitles. Those responsible for sacking
the people who have just been sacked,
have been sacked.
[Møøse Trained by YUTTE HERMSGERVØRDENBRØTBØRDA]
[Special Møøse Effects OLAF PROT]
[Møøse Costumes SIGGI CHURCHILL]
[Møøse choreographed by HORST PROT III]
[Miss Taylor’s Møøses by HENGST DOUGLAS-HOME]
[Møøse trained to mis concrete and
sign complicated insurance forms by JURGEN WIGG]
[Møøses noses wiped by BJØRN IRKESTØM-SLATER WALKER]
[Large møøse on the left hand side
of the screen in the third scene from the
end, given a thorough grounding in Latin,
French and ‘O’ Level Geography by BO BENN]
[Suggestive poses for the møøse
suggested by VIC ROTTER]
[Antler-care by LIV THATCHER]
The directors of the firm hired to
continue the credits after the other
people had been sacked, wish it to
be known that they have just been
sacked.
The credits have been completed
in an entirely different style at great
expense and at the last minutethis next part is me. i started from here because i sadly couldn’t remember the subtitles…
Scene 1-*clopclopclopclop*
Guard 1: Halt! Who goes there?
King Arthur: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon from the court of Camelot. King of the Britons! Defeater of the Saxons! Sovreign of all England!
Guard 1: Pull the other one!
KA: I am! And this is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land, in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.
Guard1: What? ridden on a horse?
KA: yes.
G1: You’re using coconuts!
KA: what?
G1: you’ve got two empty halves of coconuts and you’re banging them together!
KA: so? we have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land! Through the kingdom of Mercia, through…
G1: Where’d you get the coconuts?
KA: We found them.
G1: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut’s tropical!
KA: What do you mean?
G1: Well this is a temperate zone!
KA: The swallow may fly south with the sun, or the house marten or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land!
G1: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
KA: Not at all! They could be carried.
G1: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
KA: It could grip it by the husk!
G1: It’s not a question of where he grips it! It’s a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut!
KA: Well it doesn’t matter! Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the court of Camelot is here?
G1: Listen. In order to maintain air speed velocity, a swallow has to beat it’s wings 43 times every second right?
KA: Please!
G1: Am I right?
KA: I’m not interested!
G2: It could be carried by an African swallow!
G1: Oh yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow , that’s my point.
G2: Oh yeah, I agree with that…
KA: Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the court of Camelot is here!
G1: But then of course, African swallows are non-migratory.
G2: oh yeah…
G1: So they couldn’t bring a coconut back anyway.
G2: Wait a minute. Supposing two swallows carried it together?
G1: No, they’d have to have it on a line…
G2: Well simple! They’d just use a strand of crepon!
G1: What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers??
G2: Well why not?
*Arthur and patsy “ride” off*Scene 2
guy-that-i-don’t-know-what-to-call-so-i-will-call-random-person-1-or-rp1: Bring out your dead! *clink* Bring out your dead! *clink* Bring out your dead! Ninepence. Bring out your dead! *clink* Bring out your dead!
random-person-2-or-rp2: Here’s one!
rp1: Ninepence
dead-guy-who’s-alive-or-dg:I’m not dead!
rp1: what?
dg: I’m not dead!
rp1: Here, he says he’s not dead!
rp2: yes he is.
dg: I’m not!
rp1: he isn’t?
rp2: well he will be soon, he’s very ill.
dg: I’m getting better!
rp2: No you’re not, you’ll be stone dead in a moment.
rp1: I can’t take him like that! It’s against regulations!
dg: I don’t want to go in the cart!
rp2: Oh don’t be such a baby.
rp1: I can’t take him.
dg: I feel fine!
rp2: Well can you hang around for a couple of minutes? He won’t be long.
rp1: No, I’ve got to get down to Robinson’s, they’ve lost 9 today…
rp2: well when’s your next round?
rp1: Thursday.
dg: I think I’m going for a walk!
rp2: you’re not fooling anyone you know! look, isn’t there something you can do?
dg: I feel happy! I feel happy!
*WHACK*
rp2: oh thanks very much!
rp1: not at all, see you on Thursday!
rp2: right.
*Arthur+patsy “ride” by*
rp2: who’s that there?
rp1: I dunno. Must be a king.
rp2: why?
rp1: he hasn’t got s*** all over him.KA: Old woman!
Dennis: Man!
KA: Man. sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?
Dennis: I’m 37!
KA: What?
Dennis: I’m 37, I’m not old!
KA: well I can’t just call you man!
Dennis: You could say Dennis.
KA: I didn’t know you were called Dennis!
Dennis: You didn’t bother to find out did you?
KA: I did say sorry about the old woman, but from behind, you looked…
Dennis: What I object to is that you automatically treat me like an inferior!
KA: Well I am King…
Dennis: Oh King, eh, very nice. And how’d you get that? By exploiting the workers! By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma, which perpetuates the social and economic differences in our society. If there’s ever going to be any progress…
Old woman (OW): Dennis, there’s some lovely filth down here! Oh, how do you do?
KA: How do you do good lady? I am Arthur, King of the Britons. Who lives in that castle over there?
OW: King of who?
KA: The Britons!
OW: Who are the Britons?
KA: We all are! We are all Britons, and I am your King!
OW: I didn’t know we had a King. I thought we were an autonimous collective.
Dennis: You’re fooling yourself. We’re living in a dictatorship! A self-perpetuating autocracy, in which the working classes…
OW: Oh there you go bringing class into it again!
Dennis: Well that’s what it’s all about! (besides the Hokey Pokey) If only people would…
KA: Please, please good people, I am in haste. What knight lives in that castle over there?
OW: No one lives there.
KA: Then who is your lord?
OW: We don’t have a lord.
KA: What??!
Dennis: I told you, we’re an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week…
KA: yes.
Dennis: …but all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting…
KA: yes i see!
Dennis: …by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs…
KA: Be quiet!
Dennis: …but by a 2/3rds majority, in he case of…
KA: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
OW: heh who does he think he is?
KA: I am your King!
OW: Well I didn’t vote for you.
KA: You don’t vote for kings!
OW: Well how’d you become King then?
KA: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your King!
Dennis: Listen, strange women lying in ponds, distributing swords, is no basis for a system of government! Supreme Executive power is derived from a mandate from the masses not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!
KA: BE QUIET!!
Dennis: You can’t expect to wield Supreme Executive power, just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!
KA: Shut up!
Dennis: I mean, if I went around saying I was an emperor, just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away!
KA: Shut up! Will you shut up?!!
*grabs dennis*
Dennis: Ah, now we see the violence inherit in the system!
KA: SHUT UP!!
Dennis: Come and see the violence inherit in the system! Help, help! I’m being repressed!!
KA: BLOODY PEASANT!!!
Dennis: Oh what a giveaway! Did you hear that? That’s what I’m on about! Did you see him repressing me? You saw it didn’t you?
*Arthur and Patsy “ride” off*this is phoenix’s bit now…
(battle sounds]
[Black Knight defeats a knight]
ARTHUR: You fight with the strength of many men, Sir knight.
[pause]
I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
[pause]
I seek the finest and the bravest knights in the land to
join me in my Court of Camelot.
[pause]
You have proved yourself worthy; will you join me?
[pause, during all these pauses the black knight just stands there not moving]
You make me sad. So be it. Come, Patsy.
BLACK KNIGHT: None shall pass.
ARTHUR: What?
BLACK KNIGHT: None shall pass.
ARTHUR: I have no quarrel with you, good Sir knight, but I must
cross this bridge.
BLACK KNIGHT: Then you shall die.
ARTHUR: I command you as King of the Britons to stand aside!
BLACK KNIGHT: I move for no man.
ARTHUR: So be it!
[fights for about five seconds]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT’s left arm off]
ARTHUR: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
BLACK KNIGHT: ‘Tis but a scratch.
ARTHUR: A scratch? Your arm’s off!
BLACK KNIGHT: No, it isn’t.
ARTHUR: Well, what’s that then?
BLACK KNIGHT: I’ve had worse.
ARTHUR: You liar!
BLACK KNIGHT: Come on you pansy!
[fights for another five seconds]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT’s right arm off]
ARTHUR: Victory is mine!
[kneels down to pray]
We thank thee Lord, that in thy merc-
[Black Knight kicks Arthur in the head while he is praying]
BLACK KNIGHT: Come on then.
ARTHUR: What?
BLACK KNIGHT: Have at you!
ARTHUR: You are indeed brave, Sir knight, but the fight is mine.
BLACK KNIGHT: Oh, had enough, eh?
ARTHUR: Look, you stupid bastard, you’ve got no arms left.
BLACK KNIGHT: Yes I have.
ARTHUR: Look!
BLACK KNIGHT: Just a flesh wound.
[Headbutts Arthur in the chest]
ARTHUR: Look, stop that.
BLACK KNIGHT: Chicken! Chicken!
ARTHUR: Look, I’ll have your leg. Right!
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT’s leg off]
BLACK KNIGHT: Right, I’ll do you for that!
ARTHUR: You’ll what?
BLACK KNIGHT: Come ‘ere!
ARTHUR: What are you going to do, bleed on me?
BLACK KNIGHT: I’m invincible!
ARTHUR: You’re a loony.
BLACK KNIGHT: The Black Knight always triumphs! Have at you!
Come on then.
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT’s other leg off. Knight is just a torso on the ground]
ARTHUR: All right; we’ll call it a draw. Come, Patsy.
BLACK KNIGHT: Oh, oh, I see, running away then. You yellow
bastards! Come back here and take what’s coming to you. I’ll bite
your legs off!MY FAVORITE SCENE: (and ebeth’s! well one of her’s anyway)
CROWD: A witch! A witch! A witch! We’ve got a witch! A witch!
VILLAGER #1: We have found a witch, might we burn her?
CROWD: Burn her! Burn!
BEDEVERE: How do you know she is a witch?
VILLAGER #2: She looks like one.
BEDEVERE: Bring her forward.
WITCH: I’m not a witch. I’m not a witch.
BEDEVERE: But you are dressed as one.
WITCH: They dressed me up like this.
CROWD: No, we didn’t — no.
WITCH: And this isn’t my nose, it’s a false one.
BEDEVERE: Well?
VILLAGER #1: Well, we did do the nose.
BEDEVERE: The nose?
VILLAGER #1: And the hat — but she is a witch!
CROWD: Burn her! Witch! Witch! Burn her!
BEDEVERE: Did you dress her up like this?
CROWD: No, no… no … yes. Yes, a bit, a bit.
VILLAGER #1: She has got a wart.
BEDEVERE: What makes you think she is a witch?
VILLAGER #3: Well, she turned me into a newt.
BEDEVERE: A newt?
VILLAGER #3: I got better.
VILLAGER #2: Burn her anyway!
CROWD: Burn! Burn her!
BEDEVERE: Quiet, quiet. Quiet! There are ways of telling whether
she is a witch.
CROWD: Are there? What are they? Do they hurt?
BEDEVERE: Tell me, what do you do with witches?
VILLAGER #2: Burn!
CROWD: Burn, burn them up!
BEDEVERE: And what do you burn apart from witches?
VILLAGER #1: More witches!
VILLAGER #2: Wood!
BEDEVERE: So, why do witches burn?
[pause]
VILLAGER #3: B–… ’cause they’re made of wood…?
BEDEVERE: Good!
CROWD: Oh yeah, yeah…
BEDEVERE: So, how do we tell whether she, is made, of wood?
VILLAGER #1: Build a bridge out of her.
BEDEVERE: Aah, but can you not also build bridges out of stone?
VILLAGER #2: Oh, yeah.
BEDEVERE: Does wood sink in water?
VILLAGER #1: No, no.
VILLAGER #2: It floats! It floats!
VILLAGER #1: Throw her into the pond!
CROWD: The pond!
BEDEVERE: What also floats in water?
VILLAGER #1: Bread!
VILLAGER #2: Apples!
VILLAGER #3: Very small rocks!
VILLAGER #1: Cider!
VILLAGER #2: Great gravy!
VILLAGER #1: Cherries!
VILLAGER #2: Mud!
VILLAGER #3: Churches — churches!
VILLAGER #2: Lead — lead!
ARTHUR: A duck.
CROWD: Oooh.
BEDEVERE: Exactly! So, logically…,
VILLAGER #1: If… she.. weighs the same as a duck, she’s made of
wood.
BEDEVERE: And therefore–?
VILLAGER #1: A witch!
CROWD: A witch! A duck! A duck!
BEDEVERE: We shall use my largest scales!
[yelling]
BEDEVERE: Right, remove the supports!
[whop]
[creak]
CROWD: A witch! A witch!
WITCH: It’s a fair cop.
CROWD: Burn her! Burn!
[yelling]
BEDEVERE: Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?
ARTHUR: I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
BEDEVERE: My liege!
ARTHUR: Good Sir knight, will you come with me to Camelot,
and join us at the Round Table?
BEDEVERE: My liege! I would be honored.
ARTHUR: What is your name?
BEDEVERE: Bedevere, my leige.
ARTHUR: Then I dub you Sir Bedevere, Knight of the Round Table.
[Narrative Interlude]
NARRATOR: The wise Sir Bedevere was the first to join King
Arthur’s knights, but other illustrious names were soon to follow:
Sir Launcelot the Brave; Sir Galahad the Pure; and Sir Robin the
Not-quite-so-brave-as-Sir-Launcelot who had nearly fought the
Dragon of Agnor, who had nearly stood up to the vicious Chicken of
Bristol and who had personally wet himself at the Battle of Badon
Hill; and the aptly named Sir Not-appearing-in-this-film. Together
they formed a band whose names and deeds were to be retold
throughout the centuries, the Knights of the Round Table.And here goes me…
Bedevere: And that, my liege, is how we know the earth to be banana shaped.
KA: This new learning amazes me Sir Bedevere! Explain again how sheep’s bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.
B: Certainly sir…
Launcelot: Look my liege!
KA: Camelot!
Galahad: Camelot!
Robin: Camelot! ok I don’t know exactly who says this when. I know galahad says it second. I will use this as yet another excuse to watch the movie again. meanwhile you can rant about it to me all you want. I know I’ve committed a terrible crime by my non-remembrance.
Patsy: *shrug* It’s only a model.
KA: Knights, I bid you welcome to your new home. Let us ride to Camelot!Hot pink bunnies: no not really I made that up bum ba dum bum bum!
Random Knights: We’re Knights of the Round Table! We dance whenever we’re able. We do routines and chorus scenes with footwork impeccable! We dine well here in Camelot, we eat ham and jam and spamalot yes! spamalot! the musical that I NEED TO SEE OR I WILL GO INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!
doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. doo doo doo. doo doo doo. doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. doo doo doo doo DOOOOOOO!
Random Knights: We’re Knights of the Round Table! Our shows are formidable! But many times we’re given rhymes that are quite unsingable! this all rhymes w/able as in table btw We’re opera mad in Camelot, we sing from the diaphram a lot! yeah i think i spleled thet rong
doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. *clap clap clap clap* doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. doo da doo doo DOOOOOO!
tapdancing: bup ba dup bup bup bup bup. bup ba dup bup bup bup bup.
drumming on knight’s helmets: bubba dup bup bup bubba buppa bubba dubba bup bup bup bup bup *bang*
Random Knights: In war we’re tough and able! Quite indefatigable! Between our quests we sequin vests and impersonate Clark Gable! It’s a busy life in Camelot…
Random Knight 38562398: III HAAAAVE TOOO PUUUSH THE PRAM A LOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!
doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. doo da doo doo DOOOOO!!
hey GAPA is there a way to put sound clips on here cuz my friend and i recorded us singing this as chipmunks and it’s monty python stuff and it’s cool even though we kept messing up so yah is there some way to do that? just wondering…
KA: On second thought let’s not go to Camelot. ’tis a silly place.
Knights: Right…God: Arthur…Arthur…King of the Britons!
Knights: *fall on their knees*
God: Oh don’t grovel! If there’s one thiing I can’t stand it’s people groveling!
KA: sorry.
God: And don’t apologize (apologise..heh. they’re british)! Every time I try to talk to someone it’s sorry this and forgive me that and I’m not worthy…what are you doing now?
KA: I’m averting my eyes O Lord.
God: Well don’t. It’s like those miserable psalms, they’re soo depressing. Now knock it off!
KA: Yes Lord!
God: Right. Arthur, King of the Britons. You and your knights shall have a task to make them an example in these dark times.
KA: Good idea O Lord!
God: Of course it’s a good idea! Arthur…this is the Holy Grail. Look well Arthur, for it is your sacred task to seek this Grail. That is your purpose Arthur. The Quest For The Holy Grail!
Launcelot: A blessing! A blessing from the Lord!
Galahad: God be praised!and into a nice little animation/music bit ending w/the angels bringing up the title “Monty Python and the Holy Grail”
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Phoenix
in November 20th, 2005 @ 21:35the name’s Fox, Spy Fox.
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KitKat
in November 21st, 2005 @ 18:04Okay, back to the Spainish Inquisition!!!!
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Ebeth The Lurker
in November 21st, 2005 @ 21:34Nobody ever expects the Spanish Inquisition!!!
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randomrohanfreak
in November 21st, 2005 @ 23:55Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
*courtroom turns around toward door*
Oh, d*%@.RRF capers off to do a silly walk and slap people with fish and abandons her post.
It’s
Monty Python’s Flying Circus!
DadadadadaDAdadadadadadadaDA…
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Ebeth the Lurker
in November 22nd, 2005 @ 12:50*riderideride*
*come to a castle*
*trumpets*
KA: Hello!
French Taunter (FT): Hello? Who is it?
KA: I am Arthur, King of the Britons, and these are my knights of the round table. Whose castle is this?
FT: This is the castle of my master, Guy de Loimbard
KA: Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. IF he will give us food and shelter for the night, he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail.
FT: Well I’ll ask him but I don’t think he’ll be very keen, he’s already got one you see!
KA: What?
Galahad: He says they’ve already got one!
KA: Are you sure he’s got one?
FT: Oh yes, It’s very nice. *to other FTs* I told him we already got one.
other FTs: *snigger*
KA: Well…um…can we come up and have a look?
FT: Of course not! You are English types-a.
KA: Well what are you then?
FT: I’m FRENCH!! Why do you think I have this outraaaaaaageous accent you silly king??
Galahad: What are you doing in England?
FT: Mind your own business.
KA: Now look here my good man…
FT: I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person. I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
KA: Look here…I’ve been more then reasonable…
FT: *to other FTs* something i can’t hear
other FTs: What?
FT: again, can’t hear
KA:…If you do not agree to my command, then I shall…
*a cow is thrown over the edge of the wall at them*
cow: Mooooooo.
KA: JESUS CHRIST!!! That’s it! CHAAAAAAAAARGE!!!!!!!!!
Knights: CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGEEE!!!!
*the FTs send more random animals down over the walls.
Knights: RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!!!
*the knights all run away and stop in a little ditch*
Launcelot: Filthy fiends, I’ll tear them apart!
KA: No no! No no!
Bedevere: Sir…I have a plan…
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Ebeth The Lurker
in November 22nd, 2005 @ 17:01hoom hum I shall continue…
*creak creak creak*
*KT makes a whole bunch of hilarious faces. go watch the movie.*
*you see wheels*
*more funny faces*
*hilarious double take by the FT*
*on screen you see….a huge wooden rabbit*
*long distance shot-knights pop up in front of the camera*
KA: So what happens now?
Bedevere: Well now, Launcelot, Galahad, and I..ah…leap out of the rabbit, taking the french…eh. by suprise. Not only by suprise but totally unarmed!
KA: Who leaps out?
Bedevere: uh…Launcelot, Galahad…and I…leap out of the rabbit, and uh…oh. Well, if we built this large wooden badger…
*KA schmacks him*
Knights: RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!
*you see servant w/a bandaged arm. rabbit falls on top of him.**on screen you see the words “A Famous Historian” and a person*
Famous Historian (FH): Defeat at the French castle seemed to have totally disheartened King Arthur. The ferocity of the french taunting took him completely by suprise. Having consulted his closest knights, Arthur decided that they should separate and search for the Grail individually. Now this is what they did…*random knight comes in and hits him w/his sword*
Random Lady (RL): FRANK!!!!!!
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katie
in November 22nd, 2005 @ 19:13hee hee tis Monty Python! yay!
I wish they’d do an article on MP…
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Ebeth The Lurker
in November 22nd, 2005 @ 20:05oh yeah, you guys should definitely do an article.
continuing on since I have nothing better to do…
Narrator: So each of the knights went their separate ways. Sir Robin rode north, through the dark forest of Ewing, accompanied by his favorite minstrels.
Minstrels: Bravely bold Sir Robin
Rode forth from Camelot
He was not afraid to die
Oh brave Sir Robin!
He was not at all afraid
to be killed in nasty ways
brave brave brave brave Sir Robin!
He was not in the least bit scare
to be mashed into a pulp
Or to have his eyes gouged out
And his elbows broken
To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away
And his limbs all hacked and mangled brave Sir Robin
His head smashed in and his heart cut out
and his livers removed and his bowels unplugged
and his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off
and his…
Robin: That’s enough music for now lads. Looks like there’s dirty work afoot.
Heads 1, 2, and 3: Stop! Who art thou?
Minstrels: He is brave Sir Robin, brave Sir Robin who…
Robin: Shut up! I’m nobody really, just um..just passing through good sir knight.
Heads 1, 2, and 3: What do you want?
Minstrels: To fiiiight aaaaaaand….
Robin: Shut up! um…ooh…nothing really just to…just to pass through good sir knight.
Heads1, 2, and 3: I’m afraid not!
Robin: ooh…well um…I am a Knight of the Round Table!\
Heads 1, 2, and 3: You’re a knight of the Round Table?
robin: I am.
Head 1: In that case I shall have to kill you!
Head 2: Shall I?
Head 3: I don’t think so.
Head 2: Well what do I think?
Head 1: I say kill him.
Head 3: Oh let’s be nice to him.
Head 1: Oh shut up.
Robin: um…
Head 1: And you!
Head 1: Quick get the sword out, I want to chop his head off!
Head 2: Oh chop your own head off.
Head 3: Yes, do us all a favor.
Head 1: What?!
Head 3: Yapping on all the time!
Head 2: You’re lucky you’re not next to him!
Head 1: What do you mean?
Head 2: You snore.
Head 1: I don’t! Anyway, you’ve got bad breath.
Head 2: Well it’s only because you don’t brush my teeth.
Head 3: Oh stop b****ing and let’s go have tea!
Head 1: All right, all right. We’ll kill him, and then have tea and biscuts.
Head 2: Yeah.
Head 3: Oh not biscuts.
Head 1: All right not biscuts but let’s kill him anyway!
Heads 1 and 2: Right.
*they look around. robin is gone*
Head 1: He’s buggered off!
Head 3: So he has, he’s scarpered!Minstrels: Brave Sir Robin ran away…
Robin: No!
Minstrels: Bravely ran away away…
Robin: I didn’t!
Minstrels: When danger reared it’s ugly head
He bravely turned his tail and fled.
Bravest of the braaave, Sir Robin!
Robin: All lies!!!
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Phoenix
in November 22nd, 2005 @ 21:14I am skipping the Castle Anthrax scene, becasue it is innipropriate (but funny). from the narrative you can figure out what happened.
NARRATOR: Sir Launcelot had saved Sir Galahad from almost certain
temptation, but they were still no nearer the Grail. Meanwhile,
King Arthur and Sir Bedevere, not more than a swallow’s flight
away, had discovered something. Oh, that’s an unladen swallow’s
flight, obviously. I mean, they were more than two laden swallow’s
flights away — four, really, if they hadn’t a cord of line between
them. I mean, if the birds were walking and dragging–
CROWD: Get on with it!
NARRATOR: Oh, anyway, on to scene twenty-four, which is a
smashing scene with some lovely acting, in which Arthur discovers
a vital clue, in which there aren’t any swallows, although I think
you can hear a starling -oolp!Top
================================================================
================================================================Scene 12
OLD MAN: Ah, hee he he ha!
ARTHUR: And this enchanter of whom you speak, he has seen the grail?
OLD MAN: Ha ha he he he he!
ARTHUR: Where does he live? Old man, where does he live?
OLD MAN: He knows of a cave, a cave which no man has entered.
ARTHUR: And the Grail… The Grail is there?
OLD MAN: Very much danger, for beyond the cave lies the Gorge
of Eternal Peril, which no man has ever crossed.
ARTHUR: But the Grail! Where is the Grail!?
OLD MAN: Seek you the Bridge of Death.
ARTHUR: The Bridge of Death, which leads to the Grail?
OLD MAN: Hee hee ha ha!Top
================================================================
================================================================Scene 13
HEAD KNIGHT: Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!
ARTHUR: Who are you?
HEAD KNIGHT: We are the Knights Who Say… Ni!
ARTHUR: No! Not the Knights Who Say Ni!
HEAD KNIGHT: The same!
BEDEVERE: Who are they?
HEAD KNIGHT: We are the keepers of the sacred words: Ni, Pang,
and Ni-wom!
RANDOM: Ni-wom!
ARTHUR: Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale!
HEAD KNIGHT: The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice!
ARTHUR: Knights of Ni, we are but simple travelers who seek the
enchanter who lives beyond these woods.
HEAD KNIGHT: Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!
ARTHUR and PARTY: Oh, ow!
HEAD KNIGHT: We shall say ‘nee’ again to you if you do not
appease us.
ARTHUR: Well, what is it you want?
HEAD KNIGHT: We want… a shrubbery!
[dramatic chord]
ARTHUR: A what?
HEAD KNIGHT: Ni! Ni!
ARTHUR and PARTY: Oh, ow!
ARTHUR: Please, please! No more! We shall find a shrubbery.
HEAD KNIGHT: You must return here with a shrubbery or else you
will never pass through this wood alive!
ARTHUR: O Knights of Ni, you are just and fair, and we will
return with a shrubbery.
HEAD KNIGHT: One that looks nice.
ARTHUR: Of course.
HEAD KNIGHT: And not too expensive.
ARTHUR: Yes.
HEAD KNIGHTS: Now… go!Top
================================================================
================================================================Scene 14
NARRATOR: The Tale of Sir Launcelot.
FATHER: One day, lad, all this will be yours!
HERBERT: What, the curtains?
FATHER: No, not the curtains, lad. All that you can see!
Stretched out over the hills and valleys of this land! This’ll be
your kingdom, lad!
HERBERT: But, Mother–
FATHER: Father, I’m Father.
HERBERT: But Father, I don’t want any of that.
FATHER: Listen, lad. I’ve built this kingdom up from nothing.
When I started here, all there was was swamp. The king said I was
daft to build a castle in a swamp, but I built it all the same,
just to show ’em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second
one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third one. That
burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth
one stayed up. An’ that’s what your gonna get, lad — the strongest
castle in these islands.
HERBERT: But I don’t want any of that — I’d rather–
FATHER: Rather what?!
HERBERT: I’d rather… just… [music] …sing!
FATHER: Stop that, stop that! You’re not going to do a song
while I’m here. Now listen lad, in twenty minutes you’re getting
married to a girl whose father owns the biggest tracts of open land
in Britain.
HERBERT: But I don’t want land.
FATHER: Listen, Alice…
HERBERT: Herbert.
FATHER: Herbert. We live in a bloody swamp. We need all the
land we can get.
HERBERT: But I don’t like her.
FATHER: Don’t like her?! What’s wrong with her? She’s
beautiful, she’s rich, she’s got huge… tracts of land.
HERBERT: I know, but I want the girl that I marry to have…
a certain… special… [music] …something…
FATHER: Cut that out, cut that out. Look, you’re marryin’
Princess Lucky, so you’d better get used to the idea. [smack]
Guards! Make sure the Prince doesn’t leave this room until I come
and get ‘im.
GUARD #1: Not to leave the room even if you come and get him.
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: No, no. Until I come and get ‘im.
GUARD #1: Until you come and get him, we’re not to enter the
room.
FATHER: No, no, no. You stay in the room and make sure ‘e
doesn’t leave.
GUARD #1: And you’ll come and get him.
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: Right.
GUARD #1: We don’t need to do anything, apart from just stop him
entering the room.
FATHER: No, no. Leaving the room.
GUARD #1: Leaving the room, yes.
FATHER: All right?
GUARD #1: Right. Oh, if-if-if, uh, if-if-if, uh, if-if-if we…
FATHER: Yes, what is it?
GUARD #1: Oh, if-if, oh–
FATHER: Look, it’s quite simple.
GUARD #1: Uh…
FATHER: You just stay here, and make sure ‘e doesn’t leave the
room. All right?
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: Right.
GUARD #1: Oh, I remember. Uh, can he leave the room with us?
FATHER: N- No no no. You just keep him in here, and make sure–
GUARD #1: Oh, yes, we’ll keep him in here, obviously. But if he
had to leave and we were–
FATHER: No, no, just keep him in here–
GUARD #1: Until you, or anyone else,–
FATHER: No, not anyone else, just me–
GUARD #1: Just you.
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: Get back.
GUARD #1: Get back.
FATHER: Right?
GUARD #1: Right, we’ll stay here until you get back.
FATHER: And, uh, make sure he doesn’t leave.
GUARD #1: What?
FATHER: Make sure ‘e doesn’t leave.
GUARD #1: The Prince?
FATHER: Yes, make sure ‘e doesn’t leave.
GUARD #1: Oh, yes, of course. I thought you meant him. Y’know,
it seemed a bit daft, me havin’ to guard him when he’s a guard.
FATHER: Is that clear?
GUARD #2: Hic!
GUARD #1: Oh, quite clear, no problems.
FATHER: Right.
[starts to leave]
Where are you going?
GUARD #1: We’re coming with you.
FATHER: No no, I want you to stay ‘ere and make sure ‘e doesn’t
leave.
GUARD #1: Oh, I see. Right.
HERBERT: But, Father!
FATHER: Shut your noise, you! And get that suit on! And no
singing!
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: Oh, go get a glass of water.Top
================================================================
================================================================Scene 15
LAUNCELOT: Well taken, Concorde!
CONCORDE: Thank you, sir! Most kind.
LAUNCELOT: And again… Over we go! Good. Steady! And now, the
big one…Ooof! Come on, Concorde!
[thwonk]
CONCORDE: Message for you, sir.
[fwump]
LAUNCELOT: Concorde! Concorde, speak to me! “To whoever finds
this note, I have been imprisoned by my father, who wishes me to
marry against my will. Please, please, please come and rescue me.
I am in the tall tower of Swamp Castle.” At last! A call, a cry
of distress! This could be the sign that leads us to the Holy
Grail! Brave, brave Concorde! You shall not have died in vain!
CONCORDE: Uh, I’m-I’m not quite dead, sir.
LAUNCELOT: Well, you shall not have been mortally wounded in
vain!
CONCORDE: Uh, I-I think uh, I could pull through, sir.
LAUNCELOT: Oh, I see.
CONCORDE: Actually, I think I’m all right to come with you–
LAUNCELOT: No, no, sweet Concorde! Stay here! I will send help
as soon as I have accomplished a daring and heroic rescue in my own
particular… (sigh)
CONCORDE: Idiom, sir?
LAUNCELOT: Idiom!
CONCORDE: No, I feel fine, actually, sir.
LAUNCELOT: Farewell, sweet Concorde!
CONCORDE: I’ll-uh, I’ll just stay here, then, shall I, sir? Yeah.Top
================================================================
================================================================Scene 16
LAUNCELOT: Ha-ha! etc.
GUARD #1: Now, you’re not allowed to come in here, and we’re-ugh!
LAUNCELOT: O fair one, behold your humble servant Sir Launcelot
of Camelot. I have come to take — oh, I’m terribly sorry.
HERBERT: You got my note!
LAUNCELOT: Uh, well, I got A note.
HERBERT: You’ve come to rescue me!
LAUNCELOT: Uh, well, no, you see–
HERBERT: I knew that someone would, I knew that somewhere out
there… there must be… [music] …someone…
FATHER: Stop that, stop that, stop it! Stop it! Who are you?
HERBERT: I’m your son!
FATHER: No, not you.
LAUNCELOT: I’m Sir Launcelot, sir.
HERBERT: He’s come to rescue me, father.
LAUNCELOT: Well, let’s not jump to conclusions.
FATHER: Did you kill all the guard?
LAUNCELOT: Uh…, oh, yes. Sorry.
FATHER: They cost fifty pounds each.
LAUNCELOT: Well, I’m awfully sorry, I’m — I really can explain
everything.
HERBERT: Don’t be afraid of him, Sir Launcelot, I’ve got a rope
all ready!
FATHER: You killed eight wedding guests in all!
LAUNCELOT: Well, you see, the thing is, I thought your son was a
lady.
FATHER: I can understand that.
HERBERT: Hurry, Sir Launcelot! Hurry!
FATHER: Shut up! You only killed the bride’s father, that’s all!
LAUNCELOT: Well, I really didn’t mean to…
FATHER: Didn’t mean to?! You put your sword right through his
head!
LAUNCELOT: Oh, dear. Is he all right?
FATHER: You even kicked the bride in the chest! This is going to
cost me a fortune!
LAUNCELOT: Well, I can explain. I was in the forest, um, riding
north from Camelot, when I got this note, you see–
FATHER: Camelot? Are you from, uh, Camelot?
HERBERT: Hurry, Sir Launcelot!
LAUNCELOT: Uh, I am a Knight of King Arthur, sir.
FATHER: Pretty nice castle, Camelot. Uh, pretty good pig
country….
LAUNCELOT: Yes.
HERBERT: Hurry, I’m ready!
FATHER: Would you, uh, like to come and have a drink?
LAUNCELOT: Well, that’s, uh, awfully nice of you.
HERBERT: I am ready!
[start to leave]
LAUNCELOT: –I mean to be, so understanding.
[thonk]
HERBERT: Oooh!
LAUNCELOT: Um, I think when I’m in this idiom, I sometimes get a
bit, uh, sort of carried away.
FATHER: Oh, don’t worry about that.
HERBERT: Oooh!
[splat]Top
================================================================
================================================================Scene 17
[wailing]
FATHER: Well, this is the main hall. We’re going to have all
this knocked through, and made into one big, uh, living room.
RANDOM: There he is!
FATHER: Oh, bloody hell.
LAUNCELOT: Ha-ha! etc.
FATHER: Hold it, hold it! Please!
LAUNCELOT: Sorry, sorry. See what I mean, I just get carried
away. I really must — sorry, sorry! Sorry, everyone.
RANDOM: He’s killed the best man!
[yelling]
FATHER: Hold it, please! Hold it! This is Sir Launcelot from
the gorge of Camelot — a very brave and influential knight, and my
special guest here today.
LAUNCELOT: Hello.
RANDOM: He killed my auntie!
[yelling]
FATHER: Please, please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion!
Let’s not bicker and argue about who killed who. We are here
today to witness the union of two young people in the joyful bond
of the holy wedlock. Unfortunately, one of them, my son Herbert,
has just fallen to his death. But I think I’ve not lost a son, so
much as… gained a daughter! For, since the tragic death of her father–
RANDOM: He’s not quite dead!
FATHER: Since the near fatal wounding of her father–
RANDOM: He’s getting better!
FATHER: For, since her own father… who, when he seemed about to
recover, suddenly felt the icy hand of death upon him,–
[ugh]
RANDOM: Oh, he’s died!
FATHER: And I want his only daughter to look upon me… as her
own dad — in a very real, and legally binding sense.
[clapping]
And I feel sure that the merger — uh, the union — between
the Princess and the brave, but dangerous, Sir Launcelot of
Camelot–
LAUNCELOT: What?
RANDOM: Look! The dead Prince!
CONCORDE: He’s not quite dead!
HERBERT: Oh, I feel much better.
FATHER: You fell out of the cold tower, you creep!
HERBERT: No, I was saved at the last minute.
FATHER: How?!
HERBERT: Well, I’ll tell you… [music]
FATHER: Not like that! Not like that! No, stop it!
SINGING: He’s going to tell! He’s going to tell!
FATHER: Shut up!
SINGING: He’s going to tell! He’s going to tell!
He’s going to tell! He’s going to tell!
He’s going to tell! He’s going to tell!
He’s going to tell! He’s going to tell!
CONCORDE: Quickly, sir! This way!
LAUNCELOT: No, it’s not in my idiom! I must escape….(sigh)
CONCORDE: Dramatically, sir?
LAUNCELOT: Yes! Dramatically!
[crash]
Excuse me, could, uh, could somebody give me a push, please…?Top
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Phoenix
in November 22nd, 2005 @ 21:19at the beggining of scene #16 Lancelot crashes the wedding and kills everyone who gets in front of him, then comes to rescue Herbert. Also, Concorde was hit by an arrow.
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Phoenix
in November 22nd, 2005 @ 21:21oh yeah, and Herbert goes ‘ooh” because he is hanging out the window on a rope and his father cuts it.
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randomrohanfreak
in November 22nd, 2005 @ 23:24Are we quoting the whole Holy Grail on this thread or something? I’d start up Life of Brian, but almost nobody sees it, it would be confusing to do two screenplays at once, and I’d have to bleep out way too much.
Who’s seen Spamalot?
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Phoebe
in November 23rd, 2005 @ 00:27… And now you most chop down the largest tree in the forest with… A HERRING!
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Ebeth The Lurker
in November 23rd, 2005 @ 12:27I WANT TO SEE SPAMALOT!!!!!!!!!! have you seen it? is it good? of course! i want to see it! I have touched the soundtrack! yes! I have touched it!!!! i wanna see it waaaaaaaaah!!!
heh. i’m obssessed. meh. i’m about to have a complete breakdown and start throwing pies at everybody until they take me.
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Elasse-Adael
in November 23rd, 2005 @ 20:20I would like to see Spamalot and I have seen Life of Brian. Go me.
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monday
in November 24th, 2005 @ 14:51heres to all of us who can quote entire scenes [or at least parts of them]! ‘now that’s what i call a dead parrot’ ‘i didnt want to work in a pet shop anyway… i wanted to be a lumberjack!’ ‘your arm’s off!’ ‘no it isnt’ ‘yes it is’ ’tis but a scratch’ ‘its only a flesh wound’ ‘brave sir robin ran away’ ‘once upon a time there was an enchanted prince who ruled the land beyond the wubbles’ ‘i want to be a lion tamer’ welcome to the ministry of silly walks’ ‘stop that, that’s silly’
incidentally, did you know that veggietales actually aludes to monty python a lot? the kids never get it, but the older ones do, and laugh till we wet our pants. check out josh and the big wall for a holy grail allusion.
ok, i’ll stop now. praise for the python!
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Phoenix
in November 24th, 2005 @ 16:09um, hate to shatter everyone’s illusions, but I took those scenes of the internet. I’m not allowed to see it most of the time, because my sister and brothers can’t see it and there is no door to the den, where our TV is.
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Kricket
in November 24th, 2005 @ 19:44okkkkkkkkk………. i’m officially lost………. what’s up?
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monday
in November 24th, 2005 @ 21:28My cousin says you guys are all nerds… and i think she’s right
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Phoenix
in November 24th, 2005 @ 22:51hey… we’re all nerds here…
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Kricket
in November 25th, 2005 @ 08:16who’s your cousin monday? and if we’re nerds, then you must be too!!!!
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Lizzie
in November 25th, 2005 @ 13:33I’m not a nerd; I’m a geek.
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Queen Julietaini of Kiador; Queenie J
in November 25th, 2005 @ 17:19Did you know that Douglas Adams is one of the Pepperpot Ladies? I know, I know, you hate me. Listen: I can’t help the esoteric knowledge. You love HP, I love D.Adams. OK?
‘Can we borrow your head for a sketch?’
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Kricket
in November 25th, 2005 @ 17:57nerds, geeks…… aren’t they all the same?
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Lizzie
in November 25th, 2005 @ 18:44No, at my school at least they’re slightly different subgroups.. The nerds are the ones sitting in a big circle in the hall. The geeks are the ones clustered in the geometry teacher’s room before school, doing homework and playing on their calculators.
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KitKat
in November 25th, 2005 @ 20:47I am a knight who says Knit!!!
I like that skit.
Kitkat: Knit, knit, knit!!!!
King Arthur: Stop saying…k-n-i-t!!!
KitKat: No!!! knitknitknitknitknitknitknitknitknitknitknitknitknitknitknitknitknitknitknitknitknitknitknitknitknitknit…I’ll say it again if you don’t get me a shrubbery!!!
King Arthur: Alas, sires, we must give the Knit Knight a shrubbery!
KitKat: Yes! knit!
1 of Arthur’s warriors falls dead from too many knits.
Arthur: gasp, alas poor yordrick.
Thy lips are not red, but cold and skeletal,
thy face is hollow and undone with life in the heavens,
heed my warning, good sires, I bessech you thy sweet and comedial jokester? Has thy life flown away, oh, so swiftly?Okay, okay. That’s not what it’s supposed to say and WRONG SKIT!!
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KitKat
in November 25th, 2005 @ 20:52Genericaly
enordered
ethical
kids!GEEKS!
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KitKat
in November 25th, 2005 @ 20:56Scene: A cafe. One table is occupied by a group of Vikings wearing horned helmets. Whenever the word “spam” is repeated, they begin singing and/or chanting. A man and his wife enter. The man is played by Eric Idle, the wife is played by Graham Chapman (in drag), and the waitress is played by Terry Jones, also in drag.
Man: You sit here, dear.
Wife: All right.
Man: Morning!
Waitress: Morning!
Man: Well, what’ve you got?
Waitress: Well, there’s egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam;
Vikings: Spam spam spam spam…
Waitress: …spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam…
Vikings: Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!
Waitress: …or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.
Wife: Have you got anything without spam?
Waitress: Well, there’s spam egg sausage and spam, that’s not got much spam in it.
Wife: I don’t want ANY spam!
Man: Why can’t she have egg bacon spam and sausage?
Wife: THAT’S got spam in it!
Man: Hasn’t got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?
Vikings: Spam spam spam spam… (Crescendo through next few lines…)
Wife: Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then?
Waitress: Urgghh!
Wife: What do you mean ‘Urgghh’? I don’t like spam!
Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up!
Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can’t have egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam.
Wife: I don’t like spam!
Man: Sshh, dear, don’t cause a fuss. I’ll have your spam. I love it. I’m having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam spam and spam!
Vikings: Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
Man: Well could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?
Waitress: You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam… (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)
Vikings: (Singing elaborately…) Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam!
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MontgomeryGurl
in November 25th, 2005 @ 21:15Hey KitKat, did you start a country yet? You should, because it’s a ton of fun!!! Who has started a nation? There’s Phoenix, me. Axa, E-A, and I can’t think of anyone else. If you haven’t signed up yet, GOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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monday
in November 26th, 2005 @ 00:08If only the philosopher’s drinking song was easier to remember and a little cleaner. ‘…And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart, I drink therefore I am.’
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MontgomeryGurl
in November 26th, 2005 @ 01:17Monday, you should start your own country!!!!! Go to nationstates.net, and it will tell you how to make a country. Once you’ve made it, you just move it to “land of the Muse”, and you can hang out with the rest of us. The password is “kokopelli”. It’s a lot of fun, and it doesn’t take that much time!!!!
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randomrohanfreak
in November 26th, 2005 @ 21:20How ’bout we call you Bruce, then? Save some confusion.
-BruceI moved to Land of Muse! YAY! My country is called Thirelnadorith, because I like long names. (And I’m not socialist, either, that’s just what the site put down for me.)
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Ebeth The Lurker
in November 27th, 2005 @ 16:49love the spam!!! yaaay!!! spam spam spam!!!
oh yeah and phoenix, i realized that when i saw the thing at the end of every scene saying “top”. bit of a giveaway. i think anyway.
I think, therefore i get a headache.
I might try the nationstates thing…
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Phoenix
in November 27th, 2005 @ 17:05Yeah, it’s really cool.
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Ebeth The Lurker
in November 30th, 2005 @ 20:34this i got off the internet because sadly i have never seen it. Actually i’ve never seen any of the sketches, i just read the scripts online. they’re all hilarious though. this is my fav.
The Dead Parrot Sketch
A customer enters a pet shop.
Customer: ‘Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
(The owner does not respond.)
C: ‘Ello, Miss?
Owner: What do you mean “miss”?
C: I’m sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
O: We’re closin’ for lunch.
C: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
O: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue…What’s,uh…What’s wrong with it?
C: I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it, my lad. ‘E’s dead, that’s what’s wrong with it!
O: No, no, ‘e’s uh,…he’s resting.
C: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I’m looking at one right now.
O: No no he’s not dead, he’s, he’s restin’! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn’it, ay? Beautiful plumage!
C: The plumage don’t enter into it. It’s stone dead.
O: Nononono, no, no! ‘E’s resting!
C: All right then, if he’s restin’, I’ll wake him up!
(shouting at the cage)
‘Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I’ve got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you show…(owner hits the cage)
O: There, he moved!
C: No, he didn’t, that was you hitting the cage!
O: I never!!
C: Yes, you did!
O: I never, never did anything…
C: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) ‘ELLO POLLY!!!!!
Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o’clock alarm call!
(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
C: Now that’s what I call a dead parrot.
O: No, no…..No, ‘e’s stunned!
C: STUNNED?!?
O: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin’ up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.
C: Um…now look…now look, mate, I’ve definitely ‘ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not ‘alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein’ tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.
O: Well, he’s…he’s, ah…probably pining for the fjords.
C: PININ’ for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got ‘im home?
O: The Norwegian Blue prefers kippin’ on it’s back! Remarkable bird, id’nit, squire? Lovely plumage!
C: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.
(pause)
O: Well, o’course it was nailed there! If I hadn’t nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent ’em apart with its beak, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
C: “VOOM”?!? Mate, this bird wouldn’t “voom” if you put four million volts through it! ‘E’s bleedin’ demised!
O: No no! ‘E’s pining!
C: ‘E’s not pinin’! ‘E’s passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! ‘E’s expired and gone to meet ‘is maker! ‘E’s a stiff! Bereft of life, ‘e rests in peace! If you hadn’t nailed ‘im to the perch ‘e’d be pushing up the daisies! ‘Is metabolic processes are now ‘istory! ‘E’s off the twig! ‘E’s kicked the bucket, ‘e’s shuffled off ‘is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!
(pause)
O: Well, I’d better replace it, then.
(he takes a quick peek behind the counter)
O: Sorry squire, I’ve had a look ’round the back of the shop, and uh, we’re right out of parrots.
C: I see. I see, I get the picture.
O: I got a slug.
(pause)
C: Pray, does it talk?
O: Nnnnot really.
C: WELL IT’S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?
O: Look, if you go to my brother’s pet shop in Bolton, he’ll replace the parrot for you.
C: Bolton, eh? Very well.
The customer leaves.
The customer enters the same pet shop. The owner is putting on a false moustache.
C: This is Bolton, is it?
O: (with a fake mustache) No, it’s Ipswitch.
C: (looking at the camera) That’s inter-city rail for you.
The customer goes to the train station.
He addresses a man standing behind a desk marked “Complaints”.
C: I wish to complain, British-Railways Person.
Attendant: I DON’T HAVE TO DO THIS JOB, YOU KNOW!!!
C: I beg your pardon…?
A: I’m a qualified brain surgeon! I only do this job because I like being my own boss!
C: Excuse me, this is irrelevant, isn’t it?
A: Yeah, well it’s not easy to pad these python files out to 200 lines, you know.
C: Well, I wish to complain. I got on the Bolton train and found myself deposited here in Ipswitch.
A: No, this is Bolton.
C: (to the camera) The pet shop man’s brother was lying!!
A: Can’t blame British Rail for that.
C: In that case, I shall return to the pet shop!
He does.
C: I understand this IS Bolton.
O: (still with the fake mustache) Yes?
C: You told me it was Ipswitch!
O: …It was a pun.
C: (pause) A PUN?!?
O: No, no…not a pun…What’s that thing that spells the same backwards as forwards?
C: (Long pause) A palindrome…?
O: Yeah, that’s it!
C: It’s not a palindrome! The palindrome of “Bolton” would be “Notlob”!! It don’t work!!
O: Well, what do you want?
C: I’m not prepared to pursue my line of inquiry any longer as I think this is getting too silly!
Sergeant-Major: Quite agree, quite agree, too silly, far too silly…
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Phoenix
in December 1st, 2005 @ 22:09very funny! Ishmael and I were listening to the Holy Grail on her ipod on the bus and we kept cracking up.
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Ebeth The Lurker
in December 1st, 2005 @ 22:46listening to the holy grail? you can get that on itunes?
?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
how? where? when? who? what?
can you get the sketches too?
off to itunes! phoenix! virtual choklti! *whoosh*
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Phoenix
in December 2nd, 2005 @ 13:22I don’t know, it was Ishmael’s ipod. ask her.
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Phoebe
in December 5th, 2005 @ 22:05If I could see 3 musicals, they would be 1. Wicked 2. Spamalot 3. Avenue Q.
Geeks are on the computer all the time. (Me!) Nerds are reading books, and studying all the time, and are what is generally considered “uncool.”
I’m a geeky – nerd, myself.
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Ebeth The Lurker
in December 6th, 2005 @ 09:47yeah nerds are smart and study all the time. geeks usually specialize. like they’re smart in this but not good at that.
actually i don’t know anybody on the blog that would be considered “cool” by skool standards. no offense anybody. being “cool” isn’t really a good thing though. neither is being popular. ugh.
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Duncan_Quagmire
in December 6th, 2005 @ 15:47Wicked is AMAYZING!
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KitKat
in December 6th, 2005 @ 17:13NOBODY EXPECTS THAT SPANISH INQUISITION, YOU KNOW THAT NOW, RIGHT?? AND NOT TO MENTION I THINK I SPELLED INQUISITION WRONG!!!
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Ebeth The Lurker
in December 6th, 2005 @ 17:46nobody, Nobody, NOBODY, NOBODY, NOBODY expects the spanish inquisition!
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Boxty
in December 8th, 2005 @ 19:33For some reason, I’m not allowed to watch Monty Python…
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Ebeth The Lurker
in December 8th, 2005 @ 20:30yeah it’s a bit questionable…
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Phoenix
in December 8th, 2005 @ 20:52If you watch Holy Grail, just skip the Castle Anthrax scene and you’ll be fine.
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KittyKat
in December 9th, 2005 @ 16:01is anybody home
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Ebeth The Lurker
in December 13th, 2005 @ 16:03I’m gonna show part of the witches scene for my 20 min. project!!!!
yaay monty python!!!
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KitKat
in December 14th, 2005 @ 16:59KittyKat, does this mean we have to take it to court and I have to sue you and take all your virtual money? The name’s too close to mine, okay? Howabout, CandyPaw, or SugarPaw or Whiskers or MewKitty or MilkyWay or Snickers or something besides “KittyKat?”
I just would like to feel not like a clone for once.
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Phoenix
in December 14th, 2005 @ 18:31Make up a Warriors name. Mine is Rainpelt.
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KitKat
in December 16th, 2005 @ 18:24StarClaw’s my name.
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Phoebe
in December 17th, 2005 @ 22:38It is? Oh, lucky, lucky you, Duncan! Did you actually see it?
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Duncan_Quagmire
in December 18th, 2005 @ 09:08I saw it last September in Chicago!
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Phoebe
in December 19th, 2005 @ 17:00SQUEEEEEEEEE! Lucky duck!
I saw the beginning of Life of Brian yesterday. Meh.
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Ishmael
in December 19th, 2005 @ 17:41I actually do exist. I’m not a derranged product of Pheonix’s imagination. And I do have the entire soundtrack on my iPod.
You know that herring that King Arthur was supposed to use to cut down the thickest tree in the forest with?
I AM THAT HERRING!
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Ishmael
in December 19th, 2005 @ 18:40I’m going to see Spamalot in Janurary! I’m so excited I can barely squeak!
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Phoenix
in December 19th, 2005 @ 19:46yaaaay for you! But I’m still so jealous… grr. Now I get to bug you and Sphinx by talking with a British accent and bursting into randojm song for a week! yaaay!
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Ishmael
in December 20th, 2005 @ 21:40I wrote a balant ripoff scene of the crazy seargant who taught some boys how to defend themselves with fruit in And Now For Something Completely Different.
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Phoenix
in December 21st, 2005 @ 05:47yeah, I read that. It vos very funny. Bannanas!
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Ebeth The Lurker
in December 25th, 2005 @ 12:16WHOOOOO GOT THE SPAMALOT SOUNDTRACK FOR CHRISTMAS??? MEE MEE MEEEEE!!!! SOOOO HAPPY!!!!! I ♥ the song that goes like this. actually i ♥ the whole thing!!! YAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *happy happy dance*
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Ebeth the Lurker
in December 27th, 2005 @ 12:01you english are a bugger folk
your mothers are a rugger folk
your army is a bloody joke
you couldn’t beat an artichokeheehee.
that’s part of the french taunter song
this is the finland song
For this was ENGLAND!!!
finland finland finland
that’s the country for mefinland is the country where we dance
finland is the country where we play
in finland boy and girl can find a true romance
in traditional scandinavian wayschlip, schlap
schlip and schlap avay
schlip, schlap
schlap avay all day
schlip schlap
you simply can’t go wrong
in traditional fish schlapping songfinland finland finland
the country where i quite want to bepony trekking
or camping
or just watching tv
finland finland finland
that’s the country for me!I said England
ooooh
Dennis/Galahad: Once in every show
there comes a song like this
it starts off soft and low
and ends up in a kiss
oh where is the song that goes like thiiiis
where is it? where? where?Lady: a sentimental song
that casts a magic spell
they all will hum along
we’ll overact like h***
for this is the song that goes like thiiisD/G: yes it is!
L: yes it is!
D/G: yes it is!
L: yes it is!!!
D/G: Now we can go straight
right down the middle eight
a bridge that is too far for meL: I’ll sing it in your face
while we both embraceBoth: And then we change the keey
D/G: Now we’re into E
*cough* that’s awfully high for meL: But as anyone can see
we should’ve stayed in D
For this is our song that goes like thisD/G: I’m feeling very proud!
L: You’re singing far too loud
D/G: that’s the way that this song goes
L: you’re standing on my toes
Both: Singing our song that goes like thiiiiis
L: I can’t believe there’s more!
D/G: it’s far too long i’m sure
L: That’s the trouble with this song
It goes on and on and onBoth: For this is our song that is too looong
L: We’ll be singing this till dawn
D/G: you’ll wish that you weren’t born
L: Let’s stop this d*** refrain
Before we go insaneBoth: For this is our song that ends like thiiis
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Pixie Corpse
in April 5th, 2006 @ 22:39NI!! okay, so the best scene in holy grail is the scene with god. to now be reenacted for your viewing pleasure (there will be no subtitles as the people responsible have all been sacked):
god:arthur!!
*arthur averts eyes*
god:oh don’t grovel. if it’s one thing i can’t stand it’s groveling.
arthur:yes lord.
god:now knock it off!
arthur:sorry
god:and don’t apologize. everytime i try to talk to someone it’s always forgive me this, and i’m sorry that, and i’m not worthy. what are you doing now?
arthur:i’m averting my eyes o lord
god:well don’t. just like those miserable psalms, they’re so depressing.
arthur;right.
god:now, your quest is to find the holy grail(*grail appears in the sky*)it is your quest arthur. look well, for it is your destiny to find it.
*clouds close*
lancelot:a blessing, a blessing from the lord
galahad:god be praised!
end sceneso long bloody english kniggits, i fart in your general direction. your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries. quotes french dude “now go a way and boil your bottoms before we make castanets out of your testicles already.” *sheds tear*beautiful, simly marvy, i love monty python. only such an absurd comedic geniuse could come from my home land of england. *begins to hum english anthem or whatever it’s called*. long live the queen! let her pick her nose in piece, and then, in a few years, we will scream OFF WITH HER HEAD and be done with it and we’ll get a new queen. happy thoughts…ttfn.
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Pixie Corpse
in April 5th, 2006 @ 22:4761. warrior name, the undead embalmer of other people’s parrots.
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Pixie Corpse
in April 5th, 2006 @ 22:49ignore that last comment.
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Sir Penguin
in April 6th, 2006 @ 20:05My favorite is the cheese one, but i haven’t seen many.
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Gwendolyn of the Eastern Seas
in April 7th, 2006 @ 16:25Assorted quotes from Monty Python:
“Oh, look at that little penguin on top of the telly!”
“I fought in your general direction!”
“Shut up you ruddy blighter!”
“We’re all between the ages of 16 and 19 and a half.”
“She turned me into a newt! *pause* I got better!”
“Oh, there’s some lovely filth over here!”
“YOU MAY CALL ME… Tim.”
“A SHRUBBERY! (DUN DUN DUN!!!!)”
“Nih! NIh! NIH! AACK!!!!!”
“All I really want to do is… sing! (music intro) STOP! STOP!!!! NOT THAT!”
“Get back here! I’ll gum ya to death!”
“They all joyously ate Robin’s minstrel.”
“Suddenly, the animator had a heart attack! And they were all saved.”
“WHAT is your name? Sir Gallahad! WHAT is your quest? To seek the Holy Grail! WHAT is your favorite color? Blue. No, yell- AAH! *Is catapulted away*”
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Ebeth The Former But Recently Rehabilitated Lurker
in April 8th, 2006 @ 07:46Squee! Monty python opened again! Oh happy day!
I heard the lumberjack song! Finally! Yay!
Watched the rutles. Not technically Python, but Eric Idle and Neil Innes (who wasn’t technically a python either but who did all their songs) so it’s close enough.
Daffy english k-nnnnnigts!!!!
About all there is to say really.
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Eccentric the Afterthought
in April 13th, 2006 @ 20:40Hehe, my friend downloaded Brave Sir Robin’s song to his cell phone and you can always hear him coming now since he plays it whenever he walks down the halls. Yay! The script is awesome!
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kiki_the_great
in May 17th, 2006 @ 17:33sweet.
WHAT is your name???
WHAT is your quest???
WHAT is the airspeed velocity of an unladen european swallow???
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Johhny V.
in June 16th, 2006 @ 08:52Johnny V.
I seek the holy grail
European or asian?
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Ebeth The Stalker
in June 16th, 2006 @ 09:22African or Europen, Johhny. *pies Johhny V.* I don’t believe i’ve done that yet. Velcome!
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kiki_the_great
in June 16th, 2006 @ 09:44I JUST SAID EUROPEAN!!!
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Johhny V.
in June 17th, 2006 @ 11:23well its unladen swallow not european swallow
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Johhny V.
in June 18th, 2006 @ 11:37did you know they have a monty python broadway called Spamalot?
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Otzi
in September 27th, 2006 @ 21:48Are you suggesting that Coconuts migrate?
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Otzi
in September 27th, 2006 @ 21:51my favorite sketch is Eric Idle’s storytime.
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Otzi
in September 27th, 2006 @ 22:05And also this one
The cut to a large sign saying ‘Registry Office ‘, ‘Marriages’ etc. A man is talking to the registrar.
First Man (TERRY J): Er, excuse me, I want to get married.
Registrar (ERIC): I’m afraid I’m already married, sir.
First Man: Er, no, no. I just want to get married.
Registrar: I could get a divorce, I suppose, but it’ll be a bit of a wrench.
First Man: Er, no, no. That wouldn’t be necessary because…
Registrar: You see, would you come to my place or should I have to come to yours, because I’ve just got a big mortgage.
First Man: No, no, I want to get married here.
Registrar: Oh dear. I had my heart set on a church wedding.
First Man: Look, I just want you to marry me… to…
Registrar: I want to marry you too sir, but it’s not as simple as that. You sure you want to get married?
First Man: Yes. I want to get married very quickly.
Registrar: Suits me, sir. Suits me.
First Man: I don’t want to marry you!
Registrar: There is such a thing as breach of promise, sir.
First Man: Look, I just want you to act as registrar and marry me.
Registrar: I will marry you sir, but please make up your mind. Please don’t trifle with my affections.
First Man: I’m sorry, but…
Registrar: That’s all right, sir. I forgive you. Lovers’ tiff. But you’re not the first person to ask me today. I’ve turned down several people already.
First Man: Look, I’m already engaged.
Registrar: (agreeing and thinking) Yes, and I’m already married. Still we’ll get round it.
Second Man (MICHAEL): (entering) Good morning. I want to get married.
Registrar: I’m afraid I’m already marrying this gentleman, sir.
Second Man: Well, can I get married after him?
Registrar: Well, divorce isn’t as quick as that, sir. Still, if you’re keen.
Third Man (GRAHAM): (entering) I want to get married, please.
Registrar: Heavens, it’s my lucky day, isn’t it. All right, but you’ll have to wait until I’ve married these two, sir.
Third Man: What, those two getting married… Nigel What are you doing marrying him?
Registrar: He’s marrying me first, sir.
Third Man: He’s engaged to me.
Fourth Man (JOHN): (big and butch) Come on, Henry.
Registrar: Blimey, the wife.
Second Man: Will you marry me?
Fourth Man: I’m already married.
Cut to a photo of all five of them standing happily outside a house.
Voice Over: Well, things turned out all right in the end.They’re all married and living quite well in a council estate near Dulwich.
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curious and questioning
in September 28th, 2006 @ 20:12I like the subtitles for Monty Python and the Holy Grail. On the DVD, they have subtitles for People Who Really Don’t Like The Movie.
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Her Majesty The High Vyness of Nyllix (kiki)
in September 29th, 2006 @ 08:03It’s a stiff!! It’s shuffled off it’s mortal coil!! Bereft of life, it rests in peace!! This is a DEAD THREAD!!!
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FrigidSymphony
in September 29th, 2006 @ 12:35revive?
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Ebeth the Stalker
in September 30th, 2006 @ 22:06I just discovered that the library has the complete flying circus! w00t! So i’ve seen the first and third dvd’s so far cuz 2 was checked out, and i think the third one’s the best. It has the dead parrot and the lumberjack song and the men turning into scotsmen….XD Yes, i know the lumberjack song now!!! w00t!
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☺Kiki the Great☺
in October 21st, 2006 @ 09:39Or they have the DVD with Spam and Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook.
Or The Golden Age Of Ballooning: My friend Sara’s fave.
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Sweet Melpomene
in October 21st, 2006 @ 18:48First Hermit: Hello, are you a hermit by any chance?
Second Hermit Yes that’s right. Are you a hermit?
First Hermit: Yes, I certainly am.
Second Hermit Well I never. What are you getting away from?
First Hermit: Oh you ‘know, the usual – people, chat, gossip, you know.
Second Hermit: Oh I certainly do – it was the same with me. I mean there comes a time when you realize there’s no good frittering your life away in idleness and trivial chit-chat. Where’s your cave?
First Hermit: Oh, up the goat track, first on the left.
Second Hermit Oh they’re very nice up there aren’t they?
First Hermit: Yes they are, I’ve got a beauty.
Second Hermit: A bit draughty though, aren’t they?
First Hermit: No, we’ve had ours insulated.
Second Hermit: Oh yes.
First Hermit: Yes, I used birds’ nests, moss and oak leaves round the outside.
Second Hermit: Oh, sounds marvellous.
First Hermit: Oh it’s a treat, it really is, ‘cos otherwise those stone caves can be so grim.
Second Hermit: Yes they really can be, can’t they? They really can.
First Hermit: Oh yes.Melikes the hermit sketch….but it got too silly
The Hell’s Grannies one is funny too.
“And welcome to ‘Spot the Loony’, where once again we invite you to come with us all over the world to meet all kinds of people in all kinds of places, and ask you to….Spot the Loony!”
Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is suprise…surprise and fear…fear and surprise…. Our two weapons are fear and surprise…and ruthless efficiency…. Our three weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency…and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope…. Our four…no… Amongst our weapons…. Amongst our weaponry…are such elements as fear, surprise…. I’ll come in again.
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curious and questioning
in October 27th, 2006 @ 18:17It’s “amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as fear, surprise…”.
Our local PBS station (Schenectady, Albany, Troy)(feel free to delete that GAPAs) shows episodes of Monty Python’s Flying Circus at 10 pm eastern time on Saturdays.
In the newspaper(there was an article on how Hormel was denied a trademark for spam), it said that the use of spam as unwanted email came from a 1970’s episode of Monty Python’s Flying Cirus(the one with the Vikings). That’s why I read the paper – to learn obscure facts.
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curious and questioning
in October 27th, 2006 @ 21:53It wasn’t zapped for being an identifier of where I live? I’m now curious over what the GAPAs will allow. Further investigation is required. I know all extenal to Museblog links (excepting on occasion Wikipedia and GAPA posted links and an early or missed thing), all outside contact info(for other websites), all last names, and things telling where you live(which I thought this was) are deleted, as well as profanity, spam, and things they just want to delete. But I want specifics. Or is it reverse psychology? I said they can delete it, so they won’t, but if I had said please leave it there, it wouldn’t be there? Or did it go unnoticed? Or is it an elaborate scheme to get me to test the boundaries for some reason? Or is it just the world trying to confuse me and make me a conspiracy theorist? This really has nothing to do with Monty Python, but it relates to something posted here. Did the GAPA who allowed it expect the Spanish Inquisition over what is allowed? I think not.
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97
curious and questioning
in January 7th, 2007 @ 17:50Wow, we need another Monty Python thread. I was the last one to post here, in October?*incredulous disbelief* That’s redundant, isn’t it? “Incredulous disbelief.”
Anyway, there was a reason I came here. I found another unexpected Spanish Inquisition/Monty Python reference. My sister was watching this cartoon, I was reading the newspaper in the same room, not paying too much attention, when I heard the word Inquisition, so I started to watch it too. It was about these people, the Spinach Inquisition, forcing children to eat spinach. It was stupid, but still. So, this one person converted to the side of spinach had suddenly realized the error of his ways and said to the main spinach-inquisition person, “I didn’t know you forced children to eat spinach”, or something like that, and he shrugged and replied, “Nobody expects the Spinach Inquisition”, whereupon I burst out laughing for a few minutes. It was a throwaway line, you’d have to be paying attention to it, none of the children watching would get it, but I found it hilariously funny. I taped a Monty Python last night, too, if it worked, and I already told you all about social studies.
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98
curious and questioning
in January 12th, 2007 @ 22:20It echoes here. Something must be done. Oh well.
I came here today because I took out a Flying Circus DVD from the library because it was there. Then I watched 2 of the episodes and all the special features(I’d already seen one episode). The one with spam.
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Kiara
in January 14th, 2007 @ 16:01I am not allowed to wach The Holy Grail until I read the Bible and all of the King Arthur books.
So I don’t really have much to say. I’ve seen Baron von Muchausen (sp?) but I forgot if that’s Monty Python or not.
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100
Arianhrod of Orkney (circa A.D. 900)
in January 14th, 2007 @ 16:3199 — it has eric idle, on of the pythons, in it but i don’t think it is an actual monty python film. also, define “all” the king arthur books? because if you mean every one ever written, then you are going to be reading for a very long time. or is it a series called king arthur and i am just stupid cause i’ve never heard of it?
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101
Kiara
in January 14th, 2007 @ 18:45100 – I think it’s just all of the older, more original books. If I had to read all of them, I would probably never finish in my entire lifetime.
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102
doggylover!!!
in January 14th, 2007 @ 19:51That would take like, FOREVER!!! Kiara, my parent say that i’m TOO YOUNG !!! Can anyone believe that?
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103
Kiara
in January 14th, 2007 @ 20:22102 – Another excuse my parents give too, but I’m sure they have some sort of reason. Usually it’s”because I said so” , but sometime’s it’s explained a bit more.
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104
curious and questioning
in January 14th, 2007 @ 22:09Kiara- What kind of “all the King Arthur books?” Once and Future King isn’t that bad, but I haven’t read any others, and the Bible is long, and I haven’t read it. You should, though, then. Devote yourself to finishing the required reading. Monty Python is worth it.
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Potato Chip
in January 15th, 2007 @ 15:59Posts 1 through 104:
Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!
Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!
Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!
Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!
Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!
Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!
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106
SupremeMuser2000, the All Mighty Queen Of Museicalifornia
in January 16th, 2007 @ 16:37Monty Python + SM2K = Happy
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107
Piggy
in January 16th, 2007 @ 19:41does anyone else have the old “Matching Tie and Handkerchief” album? it is HILARIOUS! have you–
SHUT THAT BLOODY BAZOOKIE UP!!!–
have you got any limburgher?tell me. have you, in fact, got any cheese here at all?
yes.
really?
no.
you haven’t?
no, sir. not a scrap. I was deliberitly wasting your time.
well, I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to shoot you.
right-o, then.
BANG
what a senseless waste of human life.ALBATROSS!
oh, and the background to history is funny, too.
and the pet shop.
and the argument clinic.Pwt pwns
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108
Ötzi
in February 11th, 2007 @ 15:54I’m a lumberjack and I’m OK
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109
bulletproofmarshmallow
in February 20th, 2007 @ 09:08CART DRIVER
Bring out your dead!LARGE MAN
Here’s one!CART DRIVER
Ninepence.BODY
I’m not dead!CART DRIVER
What?LARGE MAN
Nothing… There’s your ninepence.BODY
I’m not dead!CART DRIVER
‘Ere. He says he’s not dead.LARGE MAN
Yes he is.BODY
I’m not!CART DRIVER
He isn’t.LARGE MAN
He will be soon. He’s very ill.BODY
I’m getting better!LARGE MAN
You’re not. You’ll be stone dead in a few minutes.CART DRIVER
I can’t take him like this. It’s against regulations.BODY
I don’t want to go on the cart.LARGE MAN
Don’t be such a baby.CART DRIVER
I can’t take him.BODY
I feel fine.LARGE MAN
Do me a favour.CART DRIVER
I can’t.LARGE MAN
Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes. He won’t
be long.CART DRIVER
I promised I’d be at the Robinson’s. They’ve lost nine
today.LARGE MAN
When’s your next round?CART DRIVER
Thursday.BODY
I think I’ll go for a walk.LARGE MAN
You’re not fooling anyone you know.
(to CART DRIVER)
Isn’t there anything you could do?BODY
(singing unrecognisably)
I feel happy… I feel happy.The CART DRIVER looks at the LARGE MAN for a moment. Then they both
do a quick furtive look up and down the street. The CART DRIVER
very swiftly brings up a club and hits the OLD MAN. (Out of shot
but the singing stops after a loud bonk noise.)LARGE MAN
(handing over the money at last)
Thanks very much.CART DRIVER
That’s all right. See you on Thursday.
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