RRR*: Alchemy, Part 1
*Round-Robin ‘Riting.
Requested by Hypatia.
[Part 1 closed to new posts on November 27, 2008; Part 2 continues the tale. –Admin.]
Date: June 1, 2008
Categories: RRRs, RPWs, and RPGs
Comments RSS TrackBack 331 comments
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1
The Provisional Countess Hypatia (worthy possessor of 8 wung points)
in June 1st, 2008 @ 20:39Huzzah! Danke. Perhaps we should c&p the extensive posting on the suggestion box thread to make it easier for incoming writers. Or just summarize the info?
I believe our plot is something along the lines of: Tesla is an aspiring (and succesful) young alchemist and scientist. The occultists and the logicians, two rival sects, are competing to convert him to their respective sides.
Or am I purely confuzzled?
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Alice (3 wung)
in June 1st, 2008 @ 20:42Oh no, I forgot to keep up with the developing plot!
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POSOC & Mim
in June 1st, 2008 @ 20:451- TESLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????????????????
You ARE confused.
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The Guy Your Parents Warned You About
in June 1st, 2008 @ 20:491- You may be.
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The Provisional Countess Hypatia (worthy possessor of 8 wung points)
in June 1st, 2008 @ 20:54Gar! I meant Isaac Newton…
Uber sorry…my mind is on the myriad essays I ought to be writing right now…
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The Provisional Countess Hypatia (worthy possessor of 8 wung points)
in June 1st, 2008 @ 21:22Things to decide/research before we commence writing:
Who are the key representatives of each side, in terms of alchemists?
What is Newton’s background? His character? Where did he live during the period in his life on which we intend to focus?
What is the period on which we intend to focus?
What type of narrator: third person omnipotent, third person limited, or first person?
How does the stone factor in?And many more, which I am far too lazy to enumerate…
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KaiYves
in June 2nd, 2008 @ 09:205-Eh, no worries, Tesla’s cool, too. ‘Got nothing to do with the topic, but still cool.
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Kiki the Great
in June 2nd, 2008 @ 15:25Tesla > Isaac Newton x ∞. That’s all I have to say.
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Beavo
in June 2nd, 2008 @ 15:34Ooh. I’m staying on this thread.
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in June 2nd, 2008 @ 15:51Is this a new RRR? *is hopeful*
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KaiYves
in June 2nd, 2008 @ 16:15This might come in handy- really smart magician James Randi’s article on the Philosopher’s Stone:
philosopher’s stone (also, Azoth, Elixir of Life, Grand Catholicon, Lapis Philosophicus, Powder of Projection, Prima Materia, or Universal Alkahest) The substance, spirit, or symbol by which base metals——iron, lead, copper——can be changed into gold or silver. It also imparts immortality, cures disease, and performs other miracles. It is said to be the material from which all metals derive. A charming alchemical notion not supported by reality.
The search for the elusive substance has led to the discovery of several processes of variable merit: the German Bötticher developed the method of making what is now known as Dresden porcelain, Roger Bacon came up with an improved form of gunpowder, and Johann Rudolf Glauber invented Glauber Salts.
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12
Ê‘yviva
in June 2nd, 2008 @ 16:37Is this intended to be a psuedo-historical type account based on the real isaac newton? If so, then it mightd be best to set the story from the summer of 1664 to October 1666 which is the time period where Newton formulated the most of his ideas (according to Encyclopedia of the Enlightenment )
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POSOC & Mim
in June 2nd, 2008 @ 17:2212- Possibly. We’re not entirely sure so far- we had a lot of ideas but no concrete plans.
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POSOC & Mim
in June 2nd, 2008 @ 17:33*after research* If so, his contemporaries may be:
Elias Ashmole: He concentrated on alchemy during the 1650s, compiling Theatrum Chemicum Britannium, a collection of alchemical writings, and translating Fasciculus Chemicus into English from the original compilation by Arthur Dee. Newton avidly studied his works.
George Starkey: By some accounts the first American-born scientist, he was born in Bermuda and moved to England in 1650. He wrote various alchemical works under the pseudonym of Eirenaeus Philalethes. He was also studied by Newton.
Also, we may be able to incorporate a few fictional characters, possibly including the protagonist.
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15
Ê‘yviva
in June 2nd, 2008 @ 18:5314- do you mean antagonist? i thought isaac was the protaganist….
Other people of the 1660s:
Charles II: The king
Robert Boyle: Of gas expansion fame (Ireland)
Giovanni Cassini: Astronomer of note (Italy)I think that alchemy should be limited, but functional. Alchemists aren’t a group of traveling illusionists, their abilities are real. However, the process is are expensive– enter isaac.
I vote third person.
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16
Alice (3 wung)
in June 2nd, 2008 @ 19:07I think the protagonist should be fictional, so that we don’t feel hindered in our writing of en.
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earthgirl (who has absolutly no idea what a pie point is but they sound nice so i guess i'd like some?)
in June 2nd, 2008 @ 19:23((Is this new, or based on something?))
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KaiYves
in June 2nd, 2008 @ 19:5515- Well, yes, but Cassini lived in Holland for quite a while. Unrelated but cool fact: The current Saturn probe was named after him.
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The Bookworm & Lurline (27 wung points, 5 anti-wung points, and two B-Day Points!)
in June 2nd, 2008 @ 20:06This RRR has a lot of people, so perhaps it will work out!
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20
The Man For Aeiou&Pete
in June 2nd, 2008 @ 20:4119- Yeah, Sure
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21
Rosanne Spector (Administrator)
in June 2nd, 2008 @ 22:55My husband has a penchant for studying the Enlightenment so I asked him for a few tidbits about Newton. He tells me:
-Newton was very secretive and not easy to get along with.
-He thought his esoteric work (such as Biblical studies and alchemy) was as important than his other work.
-He was a member of the Royal Society and became president in 1703.
-Samuel Pepys was a contemporary — and there’s a lot of info about their times in Pepys’ diary: http://www.pepysdiary.com/
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22
earthgirl (who has absolutly no idea what a pie point is but they sound nice so i guess i'd like some?)
in June 3rd, 2008 @ 14:57was Nicholas Flamel born too early to be a charachter? Although he was said to be immortal…?
Also dr. John Dee…?
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23
The Bookworm & Lurline (27 wung points, 5 anti-wung points, and two B-Day Points!)
in June 3rd, 2008 @ 16:4121-His main enemy was Robert Boyle.
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POSOC & Mim
in June 3rd, 2008 @ 16:5022- Both are too early, unless we have them discover the Philosopher’s Stone.
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25
Beavo
in June 3rd, 2008 @ 17:0424-If Nicholas Flamel is still alive, then I don’t think it’s to late for him to be a character.
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Alice (3 wung)
in June 3rd, 2008 @ 17:5825- I think we disposed of him as too overused.
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earthgirl (who has absolutly no idea what a pie point is but they sound nice so i guess i'd like some?)
in June 3rd, 2008 @ 18:34oh well…
what about Dee?
he could be good or evil. he has been both in all the stuff I’ve read about him
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KaiYves
in June 4th, 2008 @ 13:2327- He was evil and somewhat dull-witted in Wizardology.
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29
Eccentric the Afterthought
in June 4th, 2008 @ 15:276 – I vote third person. I’m probably just missing the obvious here, but could you elaborate on the difference between “omnipotent” and “limited” in context?
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30
Ê‘yviva
in June 4th, 2008 @ 15:5929- an omnipotent narrator knows everything. litterally. this allows for facts to be discussed before the main charachter knows them.
a limited third person narrator knows only as much as the main charachter, but is written in the third person. this means that the narration may contain “facts” that the main charachter believes are true even if the main charachter later finds out they are false.
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31
earthgirl (who has absolutly no idea what a pie point is but they sound nice so i guess i'd like some?)
in June 4th, 2008 @ 16:24((can we start? do we wnt to start in the middle of the action or with a proloug?))
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32
The Man For Aeiou&Pete
in June 4th, 2008 @ 17:56First, stop talking in (())’s! To signify story you do this:
***
a brown haired boy stepped into the building.
“You call for me, Sir?”
***
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POSOC & Mim
in June 4th, 2008 @ 18:0632 re 31- I believe ((double parentheses)) are acceptable for non-story writing during an RRR, but they’re not usually used before the story starts.
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34
gimanator
in June 4th, 2008 @ 20:03Oh my, I would very much like to start this off, but I have to read about 130 pages for school in a book(one about hercule poirot) if It’s still not written when I come back, I will definitely write it. oh yes.
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35
gimanator
in June 4th, 2008 @ 20:13oh, to heck with that, I’m writing it.
***
A young brown haired boy strutted into the building.
“I believe you called for me sir?”
A older man, wearing some small spectacles looked up tiredly from numerous books, parchments and documents, “Oh, yes. You. The new boy living here. You’re the one studying after me…” He proceeded to make a clicking noise through his teeth, and he drew his head back, his gray hair drooping slightly over his eyes. “I actually need you to gather some information for me… er…” he paused for a moment apparently deep in thought.
“Robert, sir. Robert((last name?))”
“Very good. What I need is some information on Mr. Newton…”He said very seriously and gravely.
“Aye sir, you are of course referring to Mr. Newton, the scientist? The well know Mr. Newton.”
“But of course, young sir.”
****
Foo. I put in two characters…it appears that the protagonist is assisting the antagonist… hmmm…
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36
gimanator
in June 4th, 2008 @ 20:14Oop. add in, at the end-‘The old man smirked knowingly.’
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37
kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in June 5th, 2008 @ 07:35I’m confused.
I guess I’ll just wait until something happens that I get, and then I might start writing. 35) Wait…… is that how this RRR is starting, or has it already been started before and I didn’t know that. Shouldn’t we have more of an opening opening? Does that make sense? Like, maybe we start with a descriptive scene where either the boy or old man is introduced? Or maybe I have no idea what I’m doing.
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gimanator
in June 5th, 2008 @ 09:0937-I just sorta started in the action. they should be slowly introduced if all goes well… I just started, I don’t know if we have another beginning! hmmm… I’lll need to research newton more…
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39
The Man For Aeiou&Pete
in June 5th, 2008 @ 10:5937- I was just saying that’s how to type. I didn’t think I was starting.
I’m confused. Are we useing Gim’s bit or not?
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40
earthgirl (10 piepoints and very proud of them)
in June 5th, 2008 @ 14:48((ack this is nuts! i’ll help someone make up character profiles if that helps))
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POSOC & Mim with five unidentified points
in June 5th, 2008 @ 17:14I think we should do some PLANNING before we begin. If we’re doing a fictional protagonist, let’s work out his backstory.
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gimanator
in June 5th, 2008 @ 18:2939-I knew that. I just used it to start.
41-I know. I just started out a bit so that we can get somewhere. Now we know that we have a protagonist(fictional) who is working for the antagonist(fictional?) by spying on Isaac Newton(real). We shall now develop the characters. First question. Protagonist. Is he working for the bad guy and being bad? Does he find out something that makes him question his work? Or is the protagonist the antagonist at the same time? Any ideas? After that we should develop his personality and bits.
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43
Ê‘yviva
in June 5th, 2008 @ 19:58I think that we should not have “bad” and “good”. both sides should stoop to the unethical occasionally and believe that they are doing the right thing.
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The Provisional Countess Hypatia (worthy possessor of 43 wung points)
in June 5th, 2008 @ 20:10This is bizarre. Although I was very involved with this RRR in its opening days, I can’t bring myself to get involved with same level of intensity again. I love that the research is being done so thoroughly, the story bodes well, the planning is perfect; however, something about it isn’t clicking properly. I’ll read along, and when the opportunity presents itself, I’ll jump in, but ’till then…
*lurks*
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45
POSOC & Mim with five unidentified points
in June 5th, 2008 @ 20:2943- Exactly, neither the occultists nor the logicians are strictly “evil” or “good.” Both of them have bad and good men (and women, although they’re rarer: remember, this is the 17th century) in their ranks.
Howzabout this:
The protagonist shows an incredible knack for experimentation and figuring out how things work, a fact that has not gone unnoticed by one of his teachers, who is a logician alchemist. Of course, the news soon comes to the occultists, and both sides try to recruit him. The antagonist plans to start a war between occultists and logicians (He or she will profit by this, but I’m not sure how: ideas?) through a series of deceptions which will involve the protagonist.
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46
The Provisional Countess Hypatia (worthy possessor of 43 wung points)
in June 5th, 2008 @ 20:4545-Or we could simply remove the antagonist from the plot and focus on the mounting tensions between the occultists and the logicians…
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47
The Man For Aeiou&Pete
in June 5th, 2008 @ 20:4745- cool!
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The Bookworm & Lurline (57 wung points, 5 anti-wung points, 10 piepoints and two B-Day Points!)
in June 5th, 2008 @ 21:12Antagonist, (Old Man) was rejected from both sides, and became a recluse. He hates everyone. (Just an Idea…)
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POSOC & Mim with five unidentified points
in June 5th, 2008 @ 23:25And of course, we have the historical background.
August 1664. Charles II reigns in England. The Second Anglo-Dutch War has just begun with the British capture of New Amsterdam.
(more later)
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gimanator
in June 6th, 2008 @ 00:0846-I agree with that. The other ones seem a bit cliche. I also have to say I like 45…
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gimanator
in June 6th, 2008 @ 00:08I’ll post my ideas tomorrow…
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KaiYves
in June 6th, 2008 @ 06:4245- Maybe he wants all the other alchemists so be busy fighting so he can find the Stone and not share it.
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gimanator
in June 6th, 2008 @ 09:4952-in fact, I was going to suggest that the old man was scarred some way or another by one or the other side. Well, did we agree that he was a logician? Then he can be against the occultists. Trying to find the philosophers stone to cure himself, somebody else, right? Maybe use it as a type of weapon?
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Ê‘yviva
in June 6th, 2008 @ 14:58I like Hypatia’s idea of not having a defined antagonist.
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POSOC & Mim with five unidentified points
in June 6th, 2008 @ 16:4454- And the protagonist eventually realizes that neither side has the absolute truth, and instead of backing one side, he tries to stop the tensions from escalating into alchemical war.
I think we should have minor antagonists (unpleasant people on both sides) but, as Hypatia and Zyviva have said, no overarching mastermind.
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The Provisional Countess Hypatia (worthy possessor of 43 wung points)
in June 6th, 2008 @ 16:48I think maybe we should begin with a climax; one of the chief occultists/logicians is killed and en’s respective side is thrown into disarray, becoming desperate to find someone to take en’s place. As a result, the side works extra hard to recruit Newton…
I dunno, but I always liked intense beginnings.
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POSOC & Mim with five unidentified points
in June 6th, 2008 @ 16:5156- We’re thinking that Newton will be a major character, but not the protagonist. It’ll give us more room to maneuver.
I like intense beginnings too.
Some biographers have the English highwayman Claude Duval pegged as an alchemist. He would be about twenty-one at the time of the story.
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The Man For Aeiou&Pete
in June 6th, 2008 @ 16:5256- yeah!
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59
kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in June 6th, 2008 @ 17:0254) I do as well.
Well, since we are developing characters, I’ll give it a shot.
So, we’ve got Robert, of whom we only know so far that he is a brown haired boy that is studying under the old man. He also seems full of himself, seeing as he “strutted” into the room. He also doesn’t have a last name yet. Hmmmmmm. Any suggestions?
Robert is a very bright boy, raised in a wealthy family with a strong academic background. He would have been a very good politician, had he not been so interested in the power and knowledge of the scientists. Unfortunately, his master is much less then he expected, being one of the less prestigious scientists. Robert may be flawed in many ways by temperament, but he also aspires to be an honest individual.
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The Provisional Countess Hypatia (worthy possessor of 43 wung points)
in June 6th, 2008 @ 17:1557-Excellent!
He could kill an alchemist on the other side, in which case we have to find a very salient alchemist who died shortly before the date we’re using and was on the side other than Duval…
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POSOC & Mim with five unidentified points
in June 6th, 2008 @ 17:4060- Or a fictional one. Duval often robbed carriages going between Highgate and Islington. We could have him stop an alchemist’s vehicle on a dark night…
Ooh, I want to write this scene. I will. Later. Unless someone beats me to it.
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POSOC & Mim with five unidentified points
in June 6th, 2008 @ 18:1259- I thought that section of the story wasn’t considered canon yet. We shouldn’t let it constrain our character development.
*****
William Hartford was a very nervous man. He had good reason to be. Although he had been born into a rich family and his entire life had been one of leisure and safety, his carriage was now hurtling down the Holloway road on a fool’s errand, bearing papers that were worth considerably more than the Crown Jewels.
The night was muggy and warm. William mopped at his forehead with an immaculately clean handkerchief, wondering how a few innocent dabblings with saltpetre and sulfur could have led to this.
The carriage came to a shuddering stop at the coachman’s surprised shout. There was a short pause, and then the man screamed.
A thud, and then the soft “clip-clop” of a walking horse. William fumbled under his seat and removed a loaded blunderbuss, pulling back the lock with trembling hands.
He pulled open the door of the carriage a crack. Outside, beneath a crooked tree, a figure in hat and cloak was seated on the back of a horse.
“I do not wish to hurt you, my friend,” he said, in a voice that betrayed only the slightest hint of a French accent. “I only want the gold.”
William recognized the voice and got up the courage to answer. “I know what you truly want, and I swear to you that you shall not gain it! This won’t solve anything, Duval!”
“Please don’t argue.” Behind him, there was a soft creak from the other door, but William didn’t notice it. The speaker raised his voice. “If you resist, I will be forced to harm you. I assure you, I shall not miss. Now, if you- ”
The recoil from the blunderbuss knocked William back into his seat. The stranger’s horse reared up, but it was tethered to the tree. The horses pulling the carriage bolted- but the carriage itself didn’t move. Somebody had cut the harness.
William reached beneath the seat again and pulled out a sheaf of papers. He was about to get out and take the highwayman’s horse when someone stabbed him in the back.
Claude Duval watched the body tumble out of the carriage, shutting the door behind him. The papers scattered on the seat were impossible to read in the meager moonlight, but he could make out familiar symbols- mercury, sulfur, salt…
Duval tucked them into his pocket and crossed the road to his horse. He kicked the remnants of the cloth dummy out of his way, reflecting what a wonderful skill ventriloquism was, and retrieved his hat. His cloak had been rendered quite unwearable by the shot, but he could easily buy a new one.
The highwayman mounted his horse and rode away, leaving behind a deserted coach, a huddled corpse, and the beginnings of a catastrophe.
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KaiYves
in June 6th, 2008 @ 18:39Very well written passage there!
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64
POSOC & Mim with five unidentified points
in June 6th, 2008 @ 18:4963- Thank you! I’m thinking Duval will be an occultist, since the occultists sometimes have something to gain from the logicians’ research, but the logicians consider the occultists’ research to be superstitious scribblings.
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65
brown and fuzzy gobbler
in June 6th, 2008 @ 19:5962) Nice beginning!
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earthgirl (10 piepoints and very proud of them)
in June 6th, 2008 @ 20:02(wow, so much in two days… you guys are great!) should we have the two opposing sides have bases in the same city or something or no bases at all, just cltes, jewlery or tatoos to recognise each other?
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The Provisional Countess Hypatia (worthy possessor of 43 wung points)
in June 6th, 2008 @ 21:45Wonderful opening!
And I agree with your statement in 64. It seems logical. Perhaps from here we should “cut to” some sort of logician alchemist meeting with the previously discussed, present…
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POSOC & Mim with five unidentified points
in June 6th, 2008 @ 22:4266- The logicians make no secret of their existence- most of them are proud to be alchemists. The occultists are probably a bit more cautious, because they’re distrusted, so they might have some identifying paraphernalia.
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POSOC & Mim with five unidentified points
in June 6th, 2008 @ 23:11So, the consensus is to keep my beginning? Excellent.
A note for potential writers: PLEASE, before adding historical context, RESEARCH. We’re in 1664 at the moment.
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gimanator(2 piepoints)
in June 6th, 2008 @ 23:2069-oh, is mine gone? It disappeared? aww…
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gimanator
in June 6th, 2008 @ 23:26woop! disregard the piepoints.
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The Provisional Countess Hypatia (worthy possessor of 43 wung points)
in June 7th, 2008 @ 09:0370-We might still use it later on…It was quite good!
68-That makes sense. I think of the occultists as more of a cult, anyhoo. THe logicians are really scientists.
So, who are the chief people on either side of the dispute?
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73
Alice the Wise Fool (3 wung)
in June 7th, 2008 @ 14:09Oh… *sigh* I’ve been having trouble with these lately, haven’t I? It’s because it’s actually historical, there’s no room to maneuver. And Etheterre was too well-developed by the time I stepped in, and RRR SMAS-TT needs to be historically accurate…
UGH.I don’t understand what’s going on. Could someone explain?
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74
POSOC & Mim with five unidentified points
in June 7th, 2008 @ 15:0373- England, August 1664. Charles II is on the throne. A British fleet has seized New Amsterdam, beginning the Second Anglo-Dutch War. Two rival factions of alchemists- the occultists, who use magic in their quest to find the Stone, and the logicians, who believe pure science is the answer- are attempting to recruit our protagonist, who shows promise in both areas. The famous highwayman (and not-so-famous occultist) Claude Duval has just murdered an inept logician and stolen some important formulae, thus provoking a rise in tensions that may result in all-out alchemical war…
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75
Alice the Wise Fool (3 wung)
in June 7th, 2008 @ 15:3674- Got it.
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76
POSOC & Mim with five unidentified points
in June 7th, 2008 @ 23:20I think our protagonist should be poor. Here’s the reasoning:
If his parents are wealthy or even moderately well-off, they would probably want to apprentice him in a more “respectable” manner. However, if his family is in poverty, they’ll be glad to get their son into any profession. Furthermore, under the Poor Laws, the parish would take care of any expenses involved.
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earthgirl/eria (10 piepoints and very proud of them)
in June 8th, 2008 @ 09:00if you google search “logitian” or “Occultist” symbols, we could choose one for each side, and have that be like really importand whenever it is found ; carved in a doorway, etched in a ring… all at very omionous places of course. Might add a little mystery and would cut dowm onl typimg we could say…”and as he gazed upon the skull and cross bones tatooed over the dead man’s left eyebrow he knew what had happened…” we could have meanings for each symbol
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78
earthgirl/eria (10 piepoints and very proud of them)
in June 8th, 2008 @ 09:19((GAPAs? would you mind fining one you think appropriet for jewlery, tatoos, ext for each side? I tried copying and pasting, buti forgot that I can’t. or if you would email me you’r email adress and I could email them to you to put on this tread? *makes cute kitten face* (for I am not a dog lover) pretty plese? ))
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The Provisional Countess Hypatia (worthy possessor of 43 wung points)
in June 8th, 2008 @ 09:5276-That makes a great deal of sense…Besides, then he’d be fending for himself and that would make him more vulnerable to advances from either side. I have a feeling the occultists are more agressive…
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The Bookworm & Lurline (72 wung points, 5 anti-wung points, 10 piepoints and two B-Day Points!)
in June 8th, 2008 @ 11:12I think they would be more aggresive. Both sides feel like they are right, but neither are really “good” or “bad”. Has anyone read “Digital Fortress”? I figure the central dilemma similar. “The Greater Good” is very important to this story…
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POSOC & Mim with five unidentified points
in June 8th, 2008 @ 11:3877- There weren’t really any symbols specific to the logician and occultist method, for the simple reason that the conflict didn’t exist in real history.
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The Provisional Countess Hypatia (worthy possessor of 43 wung points)
in June 8th, 2008 @ 11:4281-You raise an interesting point. How factual is this RRR really? Is it strictly historical or does it use reality as a backdrop and deviate. In the latter case, I think we’d be better off with a fictional protagonist…
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POSOC & Mim with five unidentified points
in June 8th, 2008 @ 11:5482- It’s what’s usually called “secret history.” Something that didn’t happen, but could have and still produced the history we know, as opposed to alternate history, which takes a historical event, changes it, and changes everything that happens after it.
Whoa. I read that sentence, and it’s totally crazy. Hope you understand it.
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The Provisional Countess Hypatia (worthy possessor of 43 wung points)
in June 8th, 2008 @ 12:1183-I see what you mean. Danke!
However, we still have the question of fictional or non protagonist to consider…
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85
Alice the Wise Fool (3 wung)
in June 8th, 2008 @ 12:43Fictional protagonist. Please?
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86
KaiYves
in June 8th, 2008 @ 12:43The symbols used to represent the planets were used in alchemical formulas.
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87
The Provisional Countess Hypatia (worthy possessor of 43 wung points)
in June 8th, 2008 @ 12:4785- I agree completely. We need a little maneuvring room.
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88
Alice the Wise Fool (3 wung)
in June 8th, 2008 @ 12:4987- I might be able to do this with a fictional protagonist.
Maybe.
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89
The Provisional Countess Hypatia (worthy possessor of 43 wung points)
in June 8th, 2008 @ 13:2988-Stuff and nonsense! Why should you have any trouble at all?
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90
POSOC & Mim with five unidentified points
in June 8th, 2008 @ 14:08Fictional protagonist, definitely.
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91
earthgirl/eria (10 piepoints and very proud of them)
in June 8th, 2008 @ 14:31fictional !!!! and you’r right POSCO, but the plantet symbols sound nice. who wants a secret code with each planet symbol having a different meantin? say “AYE”
“AYE”
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92
POSOC & Mim with five unidentified points
in June 8th, 2008 @ 14:5191- I think they already had something like that, but it was only useful for writing down formulas.
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93
The Provisional Countess Hypatia (worthy possessor of 43 wung points)
in June 8th, 2008 @ 15:1490-If we’re basically all in accord about that point, how about we begin developing the character?
What we have decided so far:
he’s a promising scholar
he’s from a poor family (probably lives in slums of whatever city we choose to set it in)
I would add:
he’s around 16-20
his sympathies are towards logicians or occultists?
he’s fairly innocent of the corrupt, darker workings of scienceI always have a picture of our protagonist as chock full of illusions. He believes all scientists share his high-hearted and purely scientific ambitions (none of that petty rivalry) and is easily taken in by any figure of esteem in the scientific world. What say all of you?
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94
kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in June 8th, 2008 @ 15:1885) Definately! We wouldn’t want the story to be too confined!
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95
The Provisional Countess Hypatia (worthy possessor of 43 wung points)
in June 8th, 2008 @ 15:22Maybe he should be a provincial or country boy whose parents, recognizing his smarts, but, unable to back him financially, send him to the city. That would make him completely unconscious and pleasantly awkward…Or maybe I’ve just been reading too much Balzac and Stendhal…
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96
earthgirl and eria and The Totally Random Pie Vendor (10 piepoints and very proud of them)
in June 8th, 2008 @ 15:58ok..never mind about the code *sigh*
I do agree with 95, he would be more vunerable and not have any prior knowlege of the cults, so he would be up for grabs by either.
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97
The Provisional Countess Hypatia (worthy possessor of 43 wung points)
in June 8th, 2008 @ 16:0696-Oh, sorry! Didn’t notice your post above at first. I’m basically impartial to the idea of a code. As long as its nots too complicated, I’m perfectly content to go along with anything of the sort! And thank you!
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98
earthgirl and eria and The Totally Random Pie Vendor (10 piepoints and very proud of them)
in June 8th, 2008 @ 16:30I was just thining Murcury for violence, jupitor for information, stuff like that, so if someone saw mucury, they would beware, and if they saw jupiter, try to find the info. is that too compicated?
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99
The Provisional Countess Hypatia (worthy possessor of 43 wung points)
in June 8th, 2008 @ 16:36That sounds cool. Though I’d confine it to the occultist as its more along their lines. Shall we wait and see what the other RRRiters think?
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100
earthgirl and eria and The Totally Random Pie Vendor (10 piepoints and very proud of them)
in June 8th, 2008 @ 17:15fine by me. the loggistists could have… i dont know. I’m supposed to be doing my homework right now…
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101
Alice the Wise Fool (3 wung)
in June 8th, 2008 @ 17:19Works for me.
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102
The Provisional Countess Hypatia (worthy possessor of 43 wung points)
in June 8th, 2008 @ 17:26I don’t think we need to assign the logicians any special symbols. They’re not a secretive cult from what I’ve gathered.
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103
earthgirl and eria and The Totally Random Pie Vendor (10 piepoints and very proud of them)
in June 8th, 2008 @ 18:22thats fine
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104
The Man For Aeiou&Pete
in June 8th, 2008 @ 20:06Are the logicians and Occultist, with in there groups, very, I don’t know, tight? Eg. if one of the logicains/occultist discovered the stone, would they share it with the rest of there group?
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105
Eccentric the Afterthought
in June 8th, 2008 @ 20:47*lurks*
So, was it agreed that this is going to be a “secret history” RRR?
*excited*
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106
POSOC & Mim with five unidentified points
in June 8th, 2008 @ 20:48104- Some would, some wouldn’t.
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107
gimanator
in June 8th, 2008 @ 22:36Oh man, what happened to Robert? Being away for the weekend and the influence of your posts drains away!
104-I think most of the logicians would, the occultists are a lot more iffy… I think robert would be with the more ‘respectable group’ at least in the eyes of society, but a poor boy may tend towards the cult… I just think it’s gonna be so much fun to design each team! Some will die… they all need specific descriptions and personalities… that post will be so much fun!
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108
kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in June 9th, 2008 @ 08:03*sits back and waits for writing to start*
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gimanator
in June 9th, 2008 @ 09:59108-I will! As soon as I have a clarification of what’s going on and some time! Maybe after school…
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110
earthgirl and eria and The Totally Random Pie Vendor (10 piepoints and very proud of them)
in June 9th, 2008 @ 16:46((what should we write first? does it have to be the beginning? that is so cliche :eyeroll:
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111
kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in June 9th, 2008 @ 19:17110) Why wouldn’t we start at the beginning? *is confused*
Doesn’t that make sense?109) Sorry, I would write but I fear that I really don’t know what I’m doing with this story just yet. I have to get into it……..
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112
The Provisional Countess Hypatia (worthy possessor of 43 wung points)
in June 9th, 2008 @ 19:20What’s our protagonist’s name and are we going with the ideas I layed down in my earlier posts (93 and 95)? I only ask, because we should probably decide before we commence writing…
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POSOC & Mim with five KY Brain points and 60 irrevocable wung points
in June 9th, 2008 @ 19:37112- I believe so. Whoever writes first decides the name.
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gimanator
in June 9th, 2008 @ 22:02Robert Boyle. An ‘alchemist’ well known for his studies of gases was 17 at the time. Just a random thought. Should I write? The boy is poor, a logician. Glad to be studying at all… any key points sfore I start?
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115
gimanator
in June 9th, 2008 @ 22:03Oh, I mean the protagonist, not robert. see.
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The Bookworm & Lurline (10 piepoints and two B-Day Points!)
in June 10th, 2008 @ 08:37114-Boyle was Newton’s worst enemy.
This will be a great story!
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The Provisional Countess Hypatia (worthy possessor of 43 wung points)
in June 10th, 2008 @ 18:12*researching* Barrow seems like a good last name…
And maybe Nic…So, compile those two: “Nicolas Barrow”
How’s that?
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gimanator
in June 10th, 2008 @ 18:16117- Great! I’ll use it when I write. The other trivia bits on him are at the top of the page so… I’ll write in a little while.
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119
The Provisional Countess Hypatia (worthy possessor of 43 wung points)
in June 10th, 2008 @ 18:50118-I was thinking to write a little myself. However, it doesn’t necessarily need to be an opening. I just had an idea…of a sort!
It was snowing in London. Snowflake after snowflake beat down down opressively, shrouding the city in an opaque veil of whiteness.
Streets were deserted; not so much as the tiniest footprint graced the impressionable ground. Even the stray dogs, usually found in surplus, had retired to some secret lair where they lay hidden.
From behind heavily latched doors, crackling fires and loud voices recounting merry tales were audible, the only clue to what revels went on behind those impassive doors.
And so the city lay: prosaic and vapid, robbed of its human life… or almost so.
One Upper Swandam Lane, a vile little alley speckled with meanest street characters, a lone silhouette was making its rapid way down the street. Its figure was well and muscularly built, a peasant, one might have said (save for his features, which were of a remarkably delicate and clever nature), and he was aged perhaps somewhere between 17 and 20. A ragged cloak whipped about him and beneath his poorly clad arm was a wicker basket. In a gust of wind, its lid blew off and a small pile of produce from Brick Lane Market, the older bruised type vendors are willing to haggle for, was revealed.I hope this works somewhere…
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120
The Man For Aeiou
in June 10th, 2008 @ 19:16the boy moved into an alley. He looked around and stepped into a hole.
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121
The Provisional Countess Hypatia (worthy possessor of 43 wung points)
in June 10th, 2008 @ 20:25119-*impassive gateways
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gimanator
in June 10th, 2008 @ 20:29119-All right, I suppose I’ll use that. I’ll post right after dinner! Sorry to keep y’all waiting…
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gimanator
in June 10th, 2008 @ 21:49Alright! There’s no more procrastination allowed now… great…
***
As the young man stepped quietly into a darker more snow-filled alley way, he lifted some rotten wood off of the damp floor, revealing a dark hole in the ground. Tapping his broad rimmed hat lower over his eyes. he slowly descended down a hidden stairway, replacing the wood behind him.
Ascending even lower he approached a very dimly lit wooden doorway. The mold reflected on the level of attention it received. Holding a candle stick, just lit, the young man examined the door way, finding a familiar symbol. After mumbling something to himself, he inserted a rusty key into the lock under the knob, but paused before twisting it. He knocked in a peculiar pattern, with multiple misplaced pauses. He waited for a response.
Abruptly, a shot rang throughout the tunnel, the wood near the man shattered into the air, and a shot blasted through and pierced the man’s chest. Tumbling down to the floor, the body was lifted up, the hat being knocked off the head.
The dying face, young and boyish, was lifted to see a grizzly, unshaven, scarred face, wearing an ugly twisted grin.
The uglier face unleashed it’s onion reeking breath to the other in speech, “Well. Hm, you thought you could get in with a little bit of stolen information, hm? Well, I’ll tell ya somethin’, lad. I know that knock by heart, as well as the procedure, you missed too many things to count. It was obvious. Now!” the grizzly man violently shook the rapidly fading body, “Who sent ya? Tell me, and I can let ya live.” The bearded face finished the sentence with a flase looking smile.
The young man, through panting breaths, his face dirty and bloody with splinters pondered the question, but was quick to answer, “I…can’t…reveal…” but the answer was cut short because the breathing stopped suddenly. Disgusted, the larger man threw the body to the dirt ground, his black cloak whipping about as he turned to a familiar voice.
“James. James.” The voice seemed to glide out as the thin figure of a second man, similarly cloaked gracefully walked across the floor. “Another spy was he?”
“Yes. Killed ‘im first chance.”
“Not the smartest thing, my stupid friend now was it? All he’s good for now is his papers.” Examining the body closer he said, “Hm. young boy. Haven’t seen him before. Likely recently hired.” Crouching over the body, the thin man shuffled through the tattered cloack, withdrawing a blood splattered parchment. The figure glided back through the door with a wave of the hand to the larger man, saying disdainfully, “Take care of the body James.” The larger man stood still for a moment, the grumbled as he easily lifted the body up and walked towards the lighted exit.
***
Took a while. Reviews?
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124
gimanator
in June 10th, 2008 @ 21:50woop! *false looking smile.
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125
Alice the Wise Fool (3 wung)
in June 10th, 2008 @ 21:57Oh no! We’ll have to construct a new hero, won’t we?
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126
gimanator
in June 10th, 2008 @ 22:15125-who says he was the hero? He was merely a pawn in the war between the two groups. Or perhaps he is an actor. He may leap up when the time is right. What sort of alchemical tricks could he think up to protect himself? In fact, I’ll do it myself!
***
As James slowly dragged the body through the snow, looking for a quiet small place to drop it, he felt a sharp pain in his side. As the pain rapidly increased, he found he could not move. Frantically, he tried anything he could, but just watched in horror as the ‘dead’ body slipped from his arms, and placed itself upright in the snow. Removing a normally unsee-able needle from the man’s side.
A scared expression on the man’s face, he spoke, “Please excuse me sir, James, was it? But I rather need those papers back. Don’t worry, the paralyzing poison wears off in about 15 minutes. Oh, by the way-” The young man reached into his coat, and held up a metal ball, apparently a bullet, and placed it precisely between the man’s teeth. “There! I have to go now.” He said, with a frightened smile.
***
There! I couldn’t take out the hero, could I?No, I wouldn’t do that. Not this soon into the story.
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127
gimanator
in June 10th, 2008 @ 22:16argh! *The body removed a normally…
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POSOC with 5 BP and 60 IWP
in June 10th, 2008 @ 22:33I thought the war hadn’t started yet. Still, this could just be an isolated incident.
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gimanator
in June 10th, 2008 @ 22:53128-was it not a series of events that lead towards that moment? And besides, there was plenty of tension between the two groups, right?
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130
The Bookworm & Lurline (10 piepoints and two B-Day Points!)
in June 11th, 2008 @ 06:56There was… I love how this is going!
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gimanator
in June 11th, 2008 @ 09:48Lesse, even if that section was annoying,m it showed us a lot… about Nik, about James, and his unfriendly comrade, etc.
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gimanator
in June 11th, 2008 @ 09:49We’ll probably work on the more quiet parts now. The identifying of the past events and such. I have little time now, so I could probably write it later…
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133
*sigh* I had to get a new alter ego because I messed up and posted with my alter ego elsewhere then the Alter Ego thread
in June 11th, 2008 @ 10:53I’m confused.
126) I don’t think that the spy should just leave like that. His enemy already knows who he is now and he already has James exactly where he wants him. It’s a perfect time for him to do something. Maybe deliver a message or warning. Maybe take James captive. Maybe kill James. Maybe try to get some information. Something!
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134
gimanator
in June 11th, 2008 @ 18:16133-well, maybe. I was actually assuming that he was too kind to do that to james, but you know, I could change it a little later….
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gimanator
in June 11th, 2008 @ 18:26actually, now I agree. I think he would tie him up and hide him somewhere. I’ll change it later…
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136
earthgirl and eria and The Totally Random Pie Vendor
in June 11th, 2008 @ 18:38((uhhh…)) *is confused*
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gimanator
in June 11th, 2008 @ 18:44136-need an explanation
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138
The Man For Aeiou&Pete
in June 11th, 2008 @ 19:19Writing off of :A scared expression on the man’s face, he spoke, “Please excuse me sir, James, was it? But I rather need those papers back.”
***
as he Spoke, He pulled out a Dagger from his bullet. He put it ageist James’s neck. He heard a Footsteps behind him.
“Nicolas, Nicolas, Nicolas.* He’s to valuable to us to kill. How long is the poison lasting?”
Nicolas turned around. “15 minutes sir.”
The man was dressed in a top hat and suit. he had a sword in his belt, and a Cane in his hand.
***
that sounds good.
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139
earthgirl and eria and The Totally Random Pie Vendor
in June 11th, 2008 @ 19:26136-((that translates litterally as “I have been gone for too long and have entirly lost this tread” if you are offering one, yes please!))
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140
gimanator
in June 11th, 2008 @ 19:28138-sure. Just a question, how can you pull a knife from a bullet?
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The Man For Aeiou&Pete
in June 11th, 2008 @ 19:39140- Belt. sorry.
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142
gimanator
in June 11th, 2008 @ 20:14139-Well, it’s still developing, and this thread is all we have, but there are two rival groups- logicians(more respectable in the eyes of society, and consider the occultists’ papers nonsense) and the occultists(secretive but use logicians papers) a war may soon be started because of two isolated conflicts 1) Claude duval killed and 2) Currently Nicolas the spy is attempting to infiltrate an occultists’ hideout. The characters are Claude duval-the french guy, the thief, who is with the occultists(I think) Nikolas(the spy), James(a gruff occultist) and james’s friend, the thin guy(undeveloped, but occultist)
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143
POSOC with 5 BP and 60 IWP
in June 11th, 2008 @ 20:35NO! Claude Duval killed William Hartford, but Claude is still around!
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144
The Bookworm & Lurline (10 piepoints and two B-Day Points!)
in June 11th, 2008 @ 20:44For point 1):
1) Claude Duval killed William Hartford.
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145
gimanator
in June 12th, 2008 @ 08:45144-eep! that’s what I meant for it to mean. sorry, if that is confusing. I meant – Claude duval killed[ a guy ].
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in June 12th, 2008 @ 12:53138) Ooooooooo!
*eerie background music*So, so far we have to main plots, the murder of William Hartford with the abduction of some valuable papers and the capture of James by a young spy and a mysterious man with a sword. Who exactly is our main character in this? We might want to introduce them fairly soon. Or have we already introduced them and I didn’t know? Anyway, our main character will have to be openly effected by both of these events. Perhaps he and Hartford had some sort of relationship, maybe as friends or elders? (how old is our main character and Hartford?) Maybe James had information about our main character that has now consequently fallen into the other side’s hands?
Ooooooo!
IDEA!
What if our main character was meeting with James’ side and James has spilled the beans? Sense the other side want our main character, they will be very mad and might just show up to the meeting themselves. That might be interesting………
Another thing, those papers that were stolen from HArtford sounded important! Somehow, our whole story should be centered around that, but perhaps have the feuding of the two sides and the fight over our main character filling up the gaps of the story. What do you guys think?
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gimanator
in June 12th, 2008 @ 16:24146-i assumed that nicolas was the main character. he’ll become much more developed with work. right now he’s just a spy, but he has a personality.
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gimanator
in June 12th, 2008 @ 16:30Although I don’t want to be dominating! your idea might work very well, too.
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149
Alice the Wise Fool (3 wung)
in June 12th, 2008 @ 17:16Nicolas is the main character, isn’t he?
¡Nos vemos!
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150
gimanator
in June 12th, 2008 @ 17:44149-I don’t know what that means, but I agree with you.
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151
POSOC with 5 BP and 60 IWP
in June 12th, 2008 @ 18:05150- Spanish equivalent of “See you later!”
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gimanator
in June 12th, 2008 @ 18:09151-oh, I see. Bye, then, Alice! I ‘ought to write some since I’ll be at a camp for about a week very soon… but I don’t feel like it.
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153
Robin Hood Worshipper
in June 13th, 2008 @ 14:13erm… somebody wanna sumerise this for me??
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in June 13th, 2008 @ 16:10147+149) Oh. oops.
Sorry.
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The Man For Aeiou&Pete
in June 13th, 2008 @ 16:45153- no. it’s a short thread.
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gimanator
in June 13th, 2008 @ 21:00153-post 142+143. That’s the whole summary.
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in June 14th, 2008 @ 19:38Alas. I fear that by the time I get back from my vacation I will have no idea what is going on anymore.
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earthgirl and eria and The Totally Random Pie Vendor
in June 15th, 2008 @ 19:28ok… so lets have nicololas report back to whoever he is working for (is he working for anyone yet? who?) and then start hi training. who gets him first or is he still neutral and innocent and clueless?
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159
The Provisional Countess Hypatia (worthy possessor of 43 wung points)
in June 15th, 2008 @ 21:31I love the writing so far, but I want to make a suggestion. Recently, we have discarded a lot of RRR’s because of their unreasonably fast paces. So far, this one has been descriptive enough to avoid the same fate, however I sense a bleaker future for it. Beautiful lyrical scenes will be wrtten, but the plot will become too convoluted and action-packed. I know that RRR’s are about collaboration, but I am going to be obnoxious and bossy for a second. Sorry! : ( When I wrote that first scene, I intended him to be going home to some sort of tenement and cooking his dinner, in short I intended it to be an illustration of the protagonist’s simple life. Instead, it evolved into yet another action scene. Which could work. But its also good to temper action with description. Our prologue is action so this might be the moment to paint a picture of the boy’s life instead…I dunno…I am definitely no expert. Just maybe to consider…
*repents for having been bossy*
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Alice
in June 16th, 2008 @ 00:51159- Well, we’ll never get anything done if we discard half of what we write, so I think we ought to keep this. However, it’s not that hard to manipulate the story to fit your vision, if one is really dedicated. I did it all the time with the Sea Roc, back before kiwi came along.
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earthgirl and eria and The Totally Random Pie Vendor
in June 16th, 2008 @ 14:40so who DOES the pro. work with? or is he still unclaimed?
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The Man For Aeiou&Pete
in June 16th, 2008 @ 14:52161- what?
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earthgirl and eria and The Totally Random Pie Vendor
in June 16th, 2008 @ 14:56who does the PROTAGONIST work for. jonathan right? or is it james?
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earthgirl and eria and The Totoally Random Pie Vendor (10 piepoints)
in June 22nd, 2008 @ 19:55((helloooo? is anyone there?))
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The Bookworm & Lurline (10 piepoints and two B-Day Points and 42 KAG Points!)
in June 22nd, 2008 @ 20:23The new thread rush is all gone…
Anybody else still here?
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earthgirl and eria and The Totoally Random Pie Vendor (10 piepoints)
in June 23rd, 2008 @ 12:20I am here! should we abandon this or continuse it my ourselves?
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earthgirl and eria and The Totoally Random Pie Vendor (10 piepoints)
in June 23rd, 2008 @ 12:20:indecision:
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earthgirl and eria and The Totoally Random Pie Vendor (10 piepoints)
in June 23rd, 2008 @ 12:21rats! it didnt work!!! ho
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Alice
in June 23rd, 2008 @ 12:55¿Donde està Hypatia?
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The Man For Aeiou&Pete
in June 23rd, 2008 @ 13:06169- Havn’t seen Hypatia here! I’m here, tho.
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earthgirl and eria and The Totoally Random Pie Vendor (10 piepoints)
in June 23rd, 2008 @ 13:15I have no idea where she is. she started this thread and then desserted it! that is not cool. will you help continue it ?
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Alice
in June 23rd, 2008 @ 13:40Well, yes, I’ll help (of course!), but this is by no means the only RRR that will suffer from Hypatia’s absence.
I think Nicolas is working for the logicians…
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Rebecca Lasley (Administrator)
in June 23rd, 2008 @ 13:45Hypatia did mention she’d be travelling a lot this summer as well as staying at an “electronics-free” camp for 5 weeks starting in July.
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Alice
in June 23rd, 2008 @ 13:55173- Oh, good. As long as she hasn’t, like, quit or something.
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The Bookworm & Lurline (10 piepoints and two B-Day Points and 42 KAG Points!)
in June 23rd, 2008 @ 16:04I’m not very good at RRRing, I’m afraid. If someone else will write the next section, I’ll do the one after!
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gimanator
in June 23rd, 2008 @ 17:59159-no! I completely agree with you. wow. I really expected his thread to progress while I was gone and it hasn’t… later I try and do a little bit of a rewrite for hypatia, to, you know, slow the pace and see how you guys like it. but, later.
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in July 1st, 2008 @ 07:00176) Wow. I expected it to have progressed so much that I would be lost. Well, anyway, I’m back from vacation!
159) I think this is a good idea! The question is, what kind of person is our main character? Before, we were going for a simple life style. But, now, we know that his life is anything but simple, since he’s working as a spy for one of the sides. I also think, before, we were trying for our main character to be stuck in the middle of the two groups, science and alchemy. Well, now, it seems that he is with one particular group. How can we keep the original image of him? Any ideas?
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in July 3rd, 2008 @ 07:52Hello?
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The Man For Aeiou
in July 3rd, 2008 @ 20:10I’m here!
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in July 4th, 2008 @ 07:04Yay! Celebration!
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earthgirl and eria and the Totally Random Pie Vendor
in July 7th, 2008 @ 11:18I’m here too!
I hate to say it, but this thread is dying. I will write the next section, just to keep it going, and am open to comments about how horrid it is. here goes.
His job finished, Nicholas saunter off to the higher end part of the city, to find his training master and dliver to him the information and the papers ((he does have the papers right?)). as he strolls through increasingly artistic and beautiful buildings, covered in carvings of myth and history, he wonders when his master will trust him enough to make him a true alchemist. he sighs. his master and his master’s accomplices’s have been working on something for months. often, he walked in on them intime to hear a couple of whispered words. “occultist”…. “the runes….”true alchemy”… and “we MUST have the -” were some of the most common utterances, all cut short when he waked in. one time in particular stood out in Nicholas’s memory…. ((flashback: I would put this in italics if I knew how))\
It was a rainy day,about 4 years ago, and the master had many important visitors. the master had told nicholas that they were not to be disturbed untill 4:00 when he brought the tea, All afternoon, nicholas had ben puttering around, always keeping one eye on the clock. his master did not tollerate lateness. at 3:30, Nicholas went to the kitchens to tell the cook to prepare tea. At 3:50 he collected the tray and began the walk up to his master’s study on the other side of the house. when he got there at precisely 4:00, he came to his master’s door to hear raised voices within, “we can not do ANYTHING untill we get those dratted papers from William ((or whoever was killed))! and we cant do that without the-” this rampard was cut off at Nicholas’s meek knock at the door. “come in” ordered the imperious voice of his master. when Nicholas entered the gentlemen were all looking quite propper, exept that one was breathing a bit heavilly. “thank you Nicholas” said his master, very politely. Nicholas left, and so did the gentlemen, about an hour later. when they wrer all gone, the master called Nicolas to the office. this was mych less formal thean the study but just a s forboding. whem nicholas stood at the door, his master said in a dadly quiet tone, “what did you hear before tea today Nicholas?”
“why- why nothing master” Nicholas stammered, knowing it was a horrible crime to evesdrop on your betters.
“I KNOW YOU HEARD SOMETHING AND YOU WILL TELL ME OR LORD HELP ME I WILL TURN YOU OUT ON THE STREETS!!!!!!!” shouted the master, quite unexpectedly.
“I* only heard something about papers sir, and a person named william!” cried Nicholas
the master had stared hard at mim, them sighed” I see you are telling the trute. leave me now”Nicholas shook the memories from his head. he needed to be alert, as he was almost at his masters door. He took a deep breath to steady himself, and pulled the bellrope
what do you think? I know the spelling a grammar is horrible, but I wanted to get the idea out. I hope this will start to resurect this thread
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Alice
in July 7th, 2008 @ 11:55181- Tenses, TENSES!!!
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The Bookworm & Lurline (410 piepoints and two B-Day Points and 42 KAG Points!)
in July 7th, 2008 @ 17:18“Yes!” his Master called, “Who is it?”
“It’s Nicholas!” Nicholas called, “Please let me in!” A second later, his Master opened the door.
“Well?” The Master said, “Do you have them?”
“Yes. Yes, I have them.”
“Do come in.” Nicholas entered, and shut the door behind him. It closed with an ominous creak.
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in July 8th, 2008 @ 14:12Oh! Whoa Whoa Whoa! We can’t get to that part before we finish the last scene! Remember? We’re midway through that scene when Nicholas is about to kill John, but the mysterious man stops him. (I suppose they’ve taken John captive)
Now, I was thinking. we’ve got to answer these question before we go much further or I think I will get too confuddled. This mysterious man, who is he and why does he have enough influence over Nicholas to persuade him to go into enemy territory for him to get these papers. Or did he just chance upon Nicholus and the John? But that couldn’t happen because the man seemed to know exactly what Nicholus was doing there. Is the man his master? But then, why didn’t Nicholas just give the man his papers, instead of walking to his study later? I would really like to finish this section, but I don’t know how Nicholas is supposed to react to this man.
Also, which side is Nicholas on? Alchemy or Science? Or are we even doing that anymore?
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earthgirl and eria and the Totally Random Pie Vendor
in July 9th, 2008 @ 16:18well, no one else was writing, so I figured I had to do SoMETHING. I know I skipped ahed a little, but I thought he petrifed someone and got the papers. I picked it up a little way on from that. Anyway, it worked! more people are here, and this thread is no longer in danger of going extinct! :-)!
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in July 10th, 2008 @ 05:59I know. I was getting worried there. It’s like, this thread was moving so fast before that I couldn’t keep up with the plot. But now, its moving so slow that I feared it was going to die.
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earthgirl and eria and the Totally Random Pie Vendor
in July 10th, 2008 @ 11:42lets get writing then! whoever is on next, it’s YOUR tun now!, after we discuss in length what the next part is, of course! and anyone, feel free to change my bit.
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in July 10th, 2008 @ 15:00Well, we need to do the bridge between your part and the part before that, because there is a large gap there. Unfortunately, I have no idea who the mysterious man in the top hat is.
Or how Nicholas got to where he was in you section. Or what they did with John.
Oooooooooooooooooooooo! Wait! I have an idea! (if you don’t like it, that’s OK, I come up with cooky ideas all the time, so just tell me)OK. Why would the mysterious man in the top hat have so much authority over Nicholas? Perhaps Nicholas works for him? But wait! This man can’t be Nicholas’ master, because then, Nicholas would have just handed the papers to the man instead of wasting time and walking back to his study later. Right? Who this man is, we can figure that out later, I fear that I’ll ruin this story if I go too far. Well, anyway, the 2 take John to, where? (the mysterious man’s house? some kind of organization? I don’t know.) They will keep him hostage and attempt to extract information from him.
Now, it is time for Nicholas to bring the papers to his master, that is where earthgirl’s part comes in. But wait…… about the papers…….. Will these be the absolute papers, or will they be twisted around? I mean, the mysterious man must have wanted them as well. Or did he not? There are many different places we could go with this……… Here are a few ideas……
1. Wants papers: gives full papers back because he’s gotten what he wanted
2. Wants papers: twists papers for…… keeping info. from Nicholas’ master for his own benefit / peoples benefit or to spite Nicholas’ master
3. Doesn’t want papers: already knows what’s in them + wants to keep the writing in the papers secret from those who would misuse them or just wants to spite his enemies
I really don’t know, because I don’t know anything about him and I’m not really good at making up characters.
Can anyone help? *is hopeful*
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in July 12th, 2008 @ 09:20Hello? *whimper*
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Alice
in July 12th, 2008 @ 10:27I’m horribly confused.
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in July 12th, 2008 @ 12:46I am too.
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The Bookworm & Lurline (410 piepoints and two B-Day Points and 42 KAG Points!)
in July 12th, 2008 @ 13:30Ditto.
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earthgirl and eria and the Totally Random Pie Vendor
in July 15th, 2008 @ 16:37Arg! kiwimuncher, would you mind clarifying post 188?
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in July 16th, 2008 @ 15:53193) We should just ignore post 188. It was only after I posted it that I had no idea what I was talking about.
I thought I had an idea. And then the idea confused me.
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earthgirl and eria and the Totally Random Pie Vendor
in July 16th, 2008 @ 17:00ok. well, what I got was that you wnat to link my bit to the other bit before it but are confused and don’t know how. is that about right?
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in July 17th, 2008 @ 07:10Yes! Exactly! I think…… Yeah! Because there’s kind of a time period in between the 2 parts that needs to be clarified.
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The Bookworm & Lurline (410 piepoints and two B-Day Points and 42 KAG Points!)
in July 18th, 2008 @ 16:12Who will fill the Gap?
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in July 18th, 2008 @ 20:56Well. Erm. What exactly should fill the gap? It must have something to do with the mysterious man who stopped Nicholas from killing John but I have no idea what to think of the man, or even who he is………
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in July 20th, 2008 @ 16:39I am desperately believing that there are actually people here. They just are lurking.
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earthgirl and eria and the Totally Random Pie Vendor of the 235pie points
in July 20th, 2008 @ 17:12*sigh* I am here, but I really don’t know what to do about the GAP. I’m starting to wish I hadnt written ahead. see, what I thought happened was that nicholas paralized the dude with the papers and then took them, with several ominous words. I thik I was just confused.
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in July 21st, 2008 @ 09:33Well, what does everyone want to do? I fear this thread is dying.
Should we continue on and fill the gap with something or should we just go back to before the gap and just start writing something else?
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The Bookworm & Lurline (410 piepoints and two B-Day Points and 42 KAG Points!)
in July 22nd, 2008 @ 14:47Let’s fill in the Gap later, and continue on now!
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in July 22nd, 2008 @ 20:13OK then! Let us press onward! You know, we have been confused for so long that I have totally forgotten where we were in the story.
*goes back and reads again*Ooooooooooooo. Not just a creak, an OMINOUS creak! *eerie backgound music*
So, what are they going to do now that they have the papers? Take over the world? Find the true essence of Alchemy? Unravel some sinister plot? cripple the scientific community? Play trashkitbat? Ha ha.
Just kidding……..
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POSOC with 5 BP and 60 IWP: 23 wung points, embedded (bara brith, chorley cake)
in July 25th, 2008 @ 16:48I’m going to get back into this RRR before I lose the thread completely. Will someone summarize? If not, point out the story posts.
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in July 26th, 2008 @ 19:34204) Well, it’s kind of going extremely slow right now. In fact, no one really knows what to do now. We’re kind of lost.
Actually, there hasn’t been that much writing since you were last here.
Posts 181 + 183.
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in July 30th, 2008 @ 19:21Yah…….. *lurks*
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in August 3rd, 2008 @ 06:20This thread is dying.
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POSOC with 5 BP and 60 IWP: 23 wung points, embedded (bara brith, chorley cake)
in August 3rd, 2008 @ 17:15You’re right, but I’ll try to help resurrect it.
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in August 3rd, 2008 @ 18:39208) Really? Thanks for your help! I’m really totally out of ideas.
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Alice
in August 3rd, 2008 @ 18:44So will I eventually. If I remember. And if anything happens.
-lurks-
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The Man For Aeiou
in August 3rd, 2008 @ 19:59*Lurks with Alice*
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in August 4th, 2008 @ 06:33I do believe everyone is lurking.
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gimanator
in August 4th, 2008 @ 12:17Gimanator’s rhythmic footsteps pounding on the wooden floor caused everyone in the room to turn and see his hunched position and face suggesting that he didn’t want anyone angry at him for being so late…
A quiet whisper escapes his lips,”You guys want some rewriting I promised earlier?”
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POSOC with 5 BP and 60 IWP: 23 wung points, embedded (bara brith, chorley cake)
in August 4th, 2008 @ 12:47POSOC leapt to his feet, ignoring the fact that his spell checker flagged “leapt” with a warning red line, and exclaimed, “Yes, certainly!”
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gimanator
in August 4th, 2008 @ 13:16Rising up from his sick looking position, a cracked smile begins to split across Gimanator’s dry lips. He cracked his knuckles, saying happily, “I knew there was someone lurking in the dark corners of this room!” Whipping out a typewriter from under his trench coat, and folding himself cross legged on the floor immediately, his fingers began to move like lightning.
~~~
William Hartford was a very nervous man. He had good reason to be. Although he had been born into a rich family and his entire life had been one of leisure and safety, his carriage was now hurtling down the Holloway road on a fool’s errand, bearing papers that were worth considerably more than the Crown Jewels.
The night was muggy and warm. William mopped at his forehead with an immaculately clean handkerchief, wondering how a few innocent dabblings with saltpetre and sulfur could have led to this.
The carriage came to a shuddering stop at the coachman’s surprised shout. There was a short pause, and then the man screamed.
A thud, and then the soft “clip-clop†of a walking horse. William fumbled under his seat and removed a loaded blunderbuss, pulling back the lock with trembling hands.
He pulled open the door of the carriage a crack. Outside, beneath a crooked tree, a figure in hat and cloak was seated on the back of a horse.
“I do not wish to hurt you, my friend,†he said, in a voice that betrayed only the slightest hint of a French accent. “I only want the gold.â€
William recognized the voice and got up the courage to answer. “I know what you truly want, and I swear to you that you shall not gain it! This won’t solve anything, Duval!â€
“Please don’t argue.†Behind him, there was a soft creak from the other door, but William didn’t notice it. The speaker raised his voice. “If you resist, I will be forced to harm you. I assure you, I shall not miss. Now, if you- â€
The recoil from the blunderbuss knocked William back into his seat. The stranger’s horse reared up, but it was tethered to the tree. The horses pulling the carriage bolted- but the carriage itself didn’t move. Somebody had cut the harness.
William reached beneath the seat again and pulled out a sheaf of papers. He was about to get out and take the highwayman’s horse when someone stabbed him in the back.
Claude Duval watched the body tumble out of the carriage, shutting the door behind him. The papers scattered on the seat were impossible to read in the meager moonlight, but he could make out familiar symbols- mercury, sulfur, salt…
Duval tucked them into his pocket and crossed the road to his horse. He kicked the remnants of the cloth dummy out of his way, reflecting what a wonderful skill ventriloquism was, and retrieved his hat. His cloak had been rendered quite unwearable by the shot, but he could easily buy a new one.
The highwayman mounted his horse and rode away, leaving behind a deserted coach, a huddled corpse, and the beginnings of a catastrophe…It was snowing in London. Snowflake after snowflake beat down down opressively, shrouding the city in an opaque veil of whiteness.
Streets were deserted; not so much as the tiniest footprint graced the impressionable ground. Even the stray dogs, usually found in surplus, had retired to some secret lair where they lay hidden.
From behind heavily latched doors, crackling fires and loud voices recounting merry tales were audible, the only clue to what revels went on behind those impassive doors.
And so the city lay: prosaic and vapid, robbed of its human life… or almost so.
One Upper Swandam Lane, a vile little alley speckled with meanest street characters, a lone silhouette was making its rapid way down the street. Its figure was well and muscularly built, a peasant, one might have said (save for his features, which were of a remarkably delicate and clever nature), and he was aged perhaps somewhere between 17 and 20. A ragged cloak whipped about him and beneath his poorly clad arm was a wicker basket. In a gust of wind, its lid blew off and a small pile of produce from Brick Lane Market, the older bruised type vendors are willing to haggle for, was revealed.
Ignoring the fact that his source of food had become exposed, he pushed on through the snow, covering his basket with his tattered cloak, for whatever help he thought it might be. Leaving his quickly fading footprints in the snow behind him, he slowly came upon great brick steps. Reluctantly moving his near frostbitten fingers for his inner pocket, he withdrew a rusted iron key, which he eagerly, but sluggishly pushed for the lock on his door.
The rotted wood left much to be desired, as as well as the rest of the building. Moss and decay lingered about the place, making the young man grimace at how familiar his own house was.He sighed, gazing upon the bronze engraving on the bricks beside the door- “Barrows, 25 Swandam Lane”.
Pushing hard at the great, door, it swung inward, and he nearly flung himself on the floor, the snow falling about him. Picking himself up, he slammed the door shut, and flung his tattered coat to the coat hanger. Taking in a breath of relief, he dashed to the hearth, where a fire was burning, and he could warm his hands.
Suddenly a voice came from behind him, “Nicolas, is’at you?”
“Who else could it be, father?” The young said back, bearing a thick British accent.”The foods on the table, at least, what I could afford to get.”
~~~
“I’ll put that in for now. If you add on before I try again, please keep the chapter mellow. That’s what I plan to do, honoring Hypatia’s wishes. Thanks. I’ll be back later.” And saying thus, Gimanator rose, and strode out, donning chap stick as he went.
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POSOC with 5 BP and 60 IWP: 23 wung points, embedded (bara brith, chorley cake)
in August 4th, 2008 @ 13:23“How does one don chapstick?” POSOC asked quizzically, before settling down to read Gim’s contribution and figure out a continuation.
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POSOC with 5 BP and 60 IWP: 23 wung points, embedded (bara brith, chorley cake)
in August 4th, 2008 @ 13:41POSOC stood up and wrote a few notes in the margins of Gimanator’s manuscript.
“Two problems I found. First, how does one “eagerly but sluggishly” do anything? Second, “…thick British accent…” As opposed to what? The American accent doesn’t exist yet. I think “London accent” would be better. Other than that, looks good!”
He then sat down at the antique typewriter, shivering in the gusts of wind that blew into the poorly constructed hut, and began to contemplate his continuation.
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POSOC with 5 BP and 60 IWP: 23 wung points embedded (bara brith, chorley cake), 5 wung points in transit (Ogbert's Siphon)
in August 4th, 2008 @ 14:05Dang, I have no idea where to go from here.
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gimanator
in August 4th, 2008 @ 15:14Re-entering temporarily, for a check-up. Gimanator points out that, “eagerly but sluggishly is possible if you want to but are tired, however, it might be better rewritten…” before leaving again.
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gimanator
in August 4th, 2008 @ 16:29Shuffling a bright red scarf around his neck, and adjusting his hat, Gimanator walked back in examining other dark corners of the room, looking for other lurkers. He quickly passed to the middle of the room with the typewriter, and pulled out some handwritten pages. Tapping POSOC on the shoulder he says, “I wrote these while I was out, I thought you might find them helpful.”, and then sits down, to examine them with POSOC.
~~~
The older man grunted, “Very well. Nicholas…”He said, lifting himself from his stiff wooden chair, “postage came today.”
Nicholas remained unmoved in his spot, but replied simply, “What is there, father?”
His father proceeded across the brick floor, slowly and with a slight limp. Wearing raggity clothes, a thin beard, and using an old wooden cane, he made a shuffle and a tap at each step. The ominous pattern, mixed with his usually lively father’s silence frightened the young man.
“What is there?”He repeated, with a voice sounding very frightened.
“Son,” The older man said getting louder and angrier the whole time, “tell me what this is, before it gets thrown into the fireplace!” And to add to what he said, he grabbed his son’s chin, and threw him down, holding a tattered piece of paper to his face.
A trickle of blood tinted the floor as Nicholas read, with repetitive and shortened breaths, “N-nicholas Burrow…”He stopped to take a frightened gasp, but it was interrupted by his father grabbing his head and shaking it while yelling, “READ IT!”
A spray of spit met Nicholas in the face as he stuttered, “Examining your talents… we have n-noticed exceptional skill in the area of chemicals and al-alchemy…” He voice faded off at the end off at the last sentence, and an uncomfortable silence followed.
His father said nothing but let it sink in.
Nicholas’ eyes flew to the bottom of the paper to see, with a cryptic stamp pasted next to it, a series of signatures and a printed, ‘Occultists’.
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Alice
in August 4th, 2008 @ 18:33Alice stumbled in, tired and dizzy from the bright sunlight. She blinked several times to adjust her eyes to the darkness. The room was occupied by two people. POSOC was sitting at a typewriter, where she had expected him to be, but the other person…
“GIM!” she hollered joyfully, and launched a key lime pie into his face.
Her welcoming done, she plopped down on a chair and said, “It looks like we’re rewriting from the beginning, am I right? Scrapping the earlier posts?”
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in August 4th, 2008 @ 19:15OMG! *dies*
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in August 4th, 2008 @ 19:23Kiwimuncher gradually got ahold of her senses after seeing so many people in the room at once. “Yay” she shouts gleefully and pies everyone. “How wonderful! Yes, I suppose that we are rewriting from the beginning. Good! It could use it! I like this much better!”
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POSOC with 5 BP and 60 IWP: 23 wung points embedded (bara brith, chorley cake), 5 wung points in transit (Ogbert's Siphon)
in August 4th, 2008 @ 19:34“Not exactly,” POSOC explained to Alice and Kiwimuncher hurriedly. “We’re keeping my prologue and a modified version of Gim’s original first chapter. Everything from post 215 on should be considered complete.” He then turned to Gim. “I like it, but would the occultists really sign themselves ‘occultists?’ That’s the sort of thing which the logicians call them as a derogatory term. Perhaps some mysterious name, like ‘Sir So-and-So.’
Also, where would they have observed him? He’s apparently too poor to go to school, and that’s the only place where he’d have displayed those skills that I can think of. That brings up another problem… where did he learn to read?”
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gimanator
in August 4th, 2008 @ 19:38Being met in the face by a keylime pie, I lick my lips, and happily respond, “Hello Alice, Kiwimuncher. Yes, POSOC and I were just working on a revision. Handing the pages to Alice and Kiwimuncher, I say, “Here’s what we have so far.”
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Kokonilly
in August 4th, 2008 @ 19:46((Hello, may I join? I don’t know what’s going on, though… it just seemed interesting.
))
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Alice
in August 4th, 2008 @ 19:52I hastily read through the pages. “Well, POSOC, I didn’t really think we were starting over completely, I just couldn’t really think of a better way to phrase it. This is what I thought we had.” I pause for a moment to think. “It seems to me that if he’s really such a bright lad, he might have sought out some old personage who could read and asked them to teach him, in exchange for the performance of some menial task that the old personage was too decrepit to perform for themselves. Perhaps it was in this semi-schoolroom environment that the occultists witnessed his extraordinary talent and fascination with the Decrepit Old Personage’s books of alchemy. Perhaps our young hero had experimented with one or two passages of the books while the Decrepit Old Personage slept.”
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Alice
in August 4th, 2008 @ 19:53Alice waved happily to Kokonilly. “Of course you can join! Just know, that, despite appearances, this is an RRR, not an RPG. We’re currently editing the first chapter, so that we can go on without confusion.”
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Kokonilly
in August 4th, 2008 @ 20:00“May I see the first chapter, please? I’m good at editing conventions and such…”
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POSOC with 5 BP and 60 IWP: 23 wung points embedded (bara brith, chorley cake), 5 wung points in transit (Ogbert's Siphon)
in August 4th, 2008 @ 20:08“Well, it’s sort of an RRR within an RPG now. We’re role-playing a bunch of writers stuck in a freezing hut with an antique typewriter who are writing a joint story about alchemy.” POSOC then turned to Alice. “Your suggestion makes sense, but should be explained. Maybe through a flashback of some sort?” He swore. “Cake, the typewriter’s stuck.”
A large yellow Crested Wung appeared on his shoulder with a soft whoosh and scampered down his arm into the ancient machine.
“Thanks, Smoleeon.” He turned back to the group of writers, which was now considerably larger, carefully ignoring the bangs and squeals the typewriter emitted. “What are your opinions? I’m floundering here.”
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POSOC with 5 BP and 60 IWP: 23 wung points embedded (bara brith, chorley cake), 5 wung points in transit (Ogbert's Siphon)
in August 4th, 2008 @ 20:09There was a curious twist in space-time, and POSOC blinked. “OK, did I just say what I wanted to, or did that somehow get erased from the continuum ((post vanished))?”
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in August 4th, 2008 @ 20:12The door opens and we are greeted by a new face. “Come in dear friend Kokonilly! You are always welcome!”
After a lot of thinking, kiwimuncher responds to POSOC. “Perhaps his father, or apparently deceased mother taught him? That was usually how people used to learn how to read before schools became widely accessible I do believe. How did they observe him? That is a good question. Well, what exactly does Nicholas do? Some kind of cheap labor? Pick pockets perhaps? Let’s say he does pick pockets. What if he picked the pocket of the wrong person. Perhaps someone that is influencial to this group. Yall see where I’m going with this? What do you guys think?”
Kiwimuncher waits hopefully for their responses.
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in August 4th, 2008 @ 20:13227) Ah. Alices idea seems to be a good one as well! I guess everyone’s writing at the same time……
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gimanator
in August 4th, 2008 @ 20:18“But of course!” Gimanator say. “We enjoy having anybody helping us!” Gimanator says as he hands the pages to Kokinilly. “And Alice, I believe that is the reason he excels so much.”
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Kokonilly
in August 4th, 2008 @ 20:43Can someone post all of it, please? I really don’t want to dig through the whole thread… P*ease?
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POSOC with 5 BP and 60 IWP: 23 wung points embedded (bara brith, chorley cake), 5 wung points in transit (Ogbert's Siphon)
in August 4th, 2008 @ 21:20235- Um, it’s only a few posts so far. Starts in 215.
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gimanator
in August 4th, 2008 @ 23:09“All right. Maybe. Perhaps he recognizes one of the names? What would they refer to themselves as? Or he recognizes the stamp?” Gimanator suggests. “I think that he should recognize the symbol on the stamp.”
Picking up the paper from the typewriter, Gim begins to scribble with a pen.
~~~
Nicholas’ eyes flew to the bottom of the paper to see, with a cryptic stamp pasted next to it,a series of signatures and aprinted, ‘Occultists’cryptic looking stamp, with a familiar looking symbol.
“Do you know what this is?!” His father blared.
~~~
Hows’at?
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in August 5th, 2008 @ 06:03“Tres bon!” kiwimuncher replies to gimanator.
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in August 5th, 2008 @ 19:01230) I do believe that a flash back would be good. It would help our readers to understand much better then actually having Nicholas spell it out to them while talking to his father. Sorry.
I would have responded sooner, but I skimmed your reply the first time I read it and missed your question. I just saw your statement and agreed.
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metal gear
in August 5th, 2008 @ 20:49Taking note of the lack of progress without his writing, Gimanator decides that he will not need to worry about getting behind during his five day backpacking trip coming up, and shuffles into a more comfortable position before falling back asleep.
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gimanator
in August 5th, 2008 @ 20:49((that’s it for the alter ego))
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in August 6th, 2008 @ 08:31241) Alas, happens all too often, yes?
OK. Well, I guess I should write………. OK. Here goes……
————————————————–Nicholas’ eyes widened in alarm. How?! How could they have known?! How…….. Nicholas paused uncertainly. He recalled an old man, one he had considered his friend, his teacher. The man’s normally kind eyes flashed in fury, his mouth twisted in an angry grimace. Nicholas looked back on this moment guiltily. He had disobeyed his teacher, opening the forbidden books, even using them! Could the old man have betrayed him? Nicholas put his head in his hands and groaned.
“This has gone on long enough!” his father exclaimed. “I knew ill would come of it, you meddling in richling arts! I won’t allow it! Whoever these people are, they won’t get their claws into the name of Burrow! You mark my words boy, if they do, they will never let go!”
—————————–
And, that’s it for now. What do you guys think? You know you can always change it if you don’t like it!
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gimanator
in August 6th, 2008 @ 16:36“Actually, I quite appreciate it,” Gimanator says, after flipping through the new document, “it was just what I was hoping for.”
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The Bookworm & Lurline (410 piepoints and two B-Day Points and 42 KAG Points!)
in August 6th, 2008 @ 20:04“Hello again, everyone. I hope I can contribute some soon.”
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in August 7th, 2008 @ 08:22Yay!
So, what exactly is going to happen next? What is Nicholas and his father going to do about this letter? Something tells we the father isn’t too keen on having Nicholas going with them……
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earthgirl and eria and the Totally Random Pie Vendor of the 235pie points
in August 7th, 2008 @ 10:25where did his dad come in? i have been away for too long. would anyone mind summerising?
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The Bookworm & Lurline (410 piepoints and two B-Day Points and 42 KAG Points!)
in August 7th, 2008 @ 19:55“I guess the father might … forbid Nicholas? Maybe he will sneak away!”
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in August 8th, 2008 @ 07:51246) Oh, we’re rewriting a lot now. It begins on 215.
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Colonel O'Popcorn
in August 8th, 2008 @ 12:39247) No‚ it seems to me like Nicholas isn’t too keen on this whole thing himself. Maybe he gets kidnapped. And later‚ sneaks away from the occultists to join the logicians! But the occultists need to do something to make sure he won’t sneak away‚ so they kidnap his dad as well or his mom or something.
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The Bookworm & Lurline (410 piepoints and two B-Day Points and 42 KAG Points!)
in August 8th, 2008 @ 17:25I like the idea that the occultists kidnap his dad.
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POSOC with 5 BP and 60 IWP: 23 wung points embedded (bara brith, chorley cake), 5 wung points in transit (Ogbert's Siphon)
in August 8th, 2008 @ 17:40POSOC walked back into the room and immediately let out a scream of horror. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! Do you realize what you’re doing? You’re already pegging the occultists as the bad guys!”
He took a few deep breaths of the chilly air. “Sorry, guys, I sort of blew up. It’s just that ever since Hypatia and I began planning this on Suggestion Box, we’ve made moral ambiguity one of the major themes of the story, and to see the occultists made out as evil this early on… if you’ll pardon my lapse into lolspeak, DO NOT WANT.”
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Colonel O'Popcorn
in August 8th, 2008 @ 18:28Well‚ not evil per se‚ just ruthless. We can have the logicians do something of the sort to balance it out if you insist‚ but I think that a kidnapping of some sort is in order here. That or a serious change involving his attitude towards this letter‚ which has so far‚ to my eyes‚ been somewhat less than enthusiastic.
Hang on‚ sudden idea alert!
It has been suggested that Nicholas was taught to read by his mother. If this is the case‚ then presumably she is a learned woman‚ something quite unusual at the time. Since his mother has not at this point made herself apparent‚ we can assume she is dead or has disappeared. If the latter‚ why not say that she is a logistic alchemist? It gives our friend Nick a reason to align himself with the logicians without making out the occultists to be completely evil (to be near his mother)‚ it gives a reason or two for her absence (devotion to her work & fear of being ostracized or lynched if her learnedness is discovered)‚ and it’s an alternate excuse for Nicholas’s father’s opposition to his son associating with alchemists (he doesn’t want to lose his son as well as his wife).
I still say that Nick‚ if not his dad because that would be “evil”‚ should be kidnapped by the occultists. It’s a way for the reader to be introduced to the characters on that side. Maybe later he somehow (I haven’t thought too much about details) discovers that his mother is a logician and follows a known logician to a logician meeting – that’s another trouble; where do these people meet? As far as I know there were no specific buildings for alchemist headquarters‚ as most were solitary researchers‚ and those who weren’t generally probably met in pubs or private homes – and joins their order.
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in August 8th, 2008 @ 18:39OK! OK! Everyone calm down! It’ll be OK! *takes deep breathe*
It’s just a simple thing. We want neither side to seem good/bad over the other. I mean, it’s politics, right? Pros and cons to everything, so neither side will evilus. *lets out breathe*
OK. Perhaps we can have a kind of thing going on where both sides are appealing, but, in some way, there is something negative that Nicholas resents about them. But, whether he wants to or not, Nicholas must choose one side or the other. Mwahahahahahahahahaha!
Poor chap. I almost feel sorry for him. Almost.
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in August 8th, 2008 @ 18:49Actually, I think there’s something in your plan. But, sadly, I think we wrote that Nicholas was taught to read by an old man, but when Nicholas betrayed the man, he handed Nicholas into the occulists.
What if……… *thinks* Nicholas was kidnapped……….by the logicians……….*thinks* *breakthrough* because the logicians don’t want the occulists to have someone added to their ranks. But, Nicholas’ long lost mother is a logician, who had no idea who Nicholas was until he was already under lock and key.His mother tries, but she doesn’t have enough influence to get Nicholas out. She can only visit him everyday and be all motherly and all that stuff. Then, the occulists can rescue Nicholas or something like that. I’m not going to get ahead of myself.
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255
The Man For Aeiou
in August 8th, 2008 @ 18:50I run into the Hut, and look around.
“Is the story 215 on? we’ve gotten rid of the rest?”
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Colonel O'Popcorn
in August 8th, 2008 @ 19:02253) Not necessarily. He could strike out on his own and form a completely new alchemical sect. Maybe his way is the best way and he discovers the Philosopher’s Stone! Intriguing…
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Colonel O'Popcorn
in August 8th, 2008 @ 19:10(Sorry to double post‚ I only just now saw 254 & 255)
254) We wrote that the old guy was his teacher‚ but not necessarily the one who taught him to read. He just gave Nicholas books & training in alchemy‚ among other things. He could have betrayed Nick because he was offered money for knowledge about promising young people‚ or he was threatened unless he did so‚ or he was secretly an occultist who was looking for people to recruit. If others think that the mother plan is good‚ I see no reason that we can’t use it.
255)Pretty much. I suppose we could draw from it a bit‚ but everything before #215 is null and void at this time.
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Colonel O'Popcorn
in August 8th, 2008 @ 19:13Oops‚ in reading back through the post I see I am a little mistaken in my thoughts regarding the old teacher. Still‚ though‚ it doesn’t mean that Mr. Teacher taught Nick to read.
(Blech‚ triple-post>)
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in August 8th, 2008 @ 19:13256) Ooch! Let’s get too ahead of ourselves.
That’s a little too much to handle right now I do believe.
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in August 8th, 2008 @ 19:15Oops.
I meant let’s NOT get too ahead of ourselves.
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in August 8th, 2008 @ 19:20257) Oh no! Sorry for all these posts! But,……. what? Wha………. Whoah……
Not good. Not good, Confusion. Bad confusion. I’m confused. I’m REALLY confused. Maybe I should lie down…….. Why doesn’t every one wait for gimantor and POSOC to show back up before we go way over our heads? sorry. Very sorry. OVerload. Very bad……
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Colonel O'Popcorn
in August 8th, 2008 @ 19:49I think we need to work out a plot. I think it’s a bad idea to write first and then say “Alright‚ now he does this” for the whole way. It’s pretty easy to work ourselves into a rut that way. So‚ if everyone’s okay with that‚ I propose we put the fleshing-out on hold for a moment and try to get a basic outline from start to finish. Just copy-paste the outline I’ve started here into your own post if you have something to add at later points in time.
Here’s what we have so far:
Setting = London during the heyday of alchemical research. There are two main competing alchemical groups‚ the occultists and the logicians.
Main Character = Nicholas Burrow‚ young man from a poor family with a recently discovered [interest? talent?] for alchemy. He lives with his father at the beginning of the story. His mother is [dead‚ disappeared‚ whatever we decide happened to her]. He learned to read from [his mother‚ the old guy] and although he is too poor for school he was taught in certain subjects by an old man he met [however we decide he met the old man].
Secondary Characters =
Nick’s Father – lives with Nicholas‚ wildly opposed to association with alchemy
Claude Duval – an occultist who murders a logician at the beginning of the story & steals the logician’s papers. murders without hesitation (used to it?). ventriloquist.
Old Man To Be Named At A Later Date – Nicholas’s surrogate teacher; becomes angry at Nicholas when Nick looks through the old man’s alchemy books; tells occultists about Nicholas’s interest in alchemy‚ causing him (Nick) to be contacted by the occultists.
[add more as they enter the story!]
Story = Prologue: Duval murders a logician and steals papers from him.
Main Story: When Nicholas Burrow comes home‚ his father angrily confronts him with a letter bearing the seal of the occultist alchemists. Nicholas recalls when he recently angered his surrogate teacher‚ an old man‚ by looking through the teacher’s forbidden books of alchemy and realizes that his teacher must have told the occultists about him. Nick’s father warns him that association with alchemists is dangerous and forbids him to join their company. [continue outline as planning is continued]Is that okay?
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The Bookworm & Lurline (410 piepoints and two B-Day Points and 42 KAG Points!)
in August 8th, 2008 @ 20:36Seems okay to me!
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in August 9th, 2008 @ 08:00OK. I agree that planning is a good idea. But I also think that we definatey should NOT get too ahead of ourselves. There’s a fine line between planning and overplanning to the point of destroying any chance of the story having unexpected twists. Remember, writing flows, sometimes in ways that even a writer doesn’t expect. Don’t plan everything to the point where there is no room for the plot maneuver. OK?
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The Bookworm & Lurline (410 piepoints and two B-Day Points and 42 KAG Points!)
in August 10th, 2008 @ 08:32OK!
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Kokonilly
in August 10th, 2008 @ 17:30Urk… I leave for
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POSOC with 5 BP and 60 IWP: 23 wung points embedded (bara brith, chorley cake), 5 wung points in transit (Ogbert's Siphon)
in August 10th, 2008 @ 17:47One note: Claude Duval is a real historical figure. Please research him before using him.
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in August 10th, 2008 @ 19:46OK…………………. *feels awkward*
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Kokonilly
in August 10th, 2008 @ 21:06DANG it! Why did it send?
I meant “Urk… I leave for 2 or 3 days… and all this happens??? What’s going on???”
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gimanator
in August 11th, 2008 @ 20:15Gimanator walked back into to the room, mumbling to himself, “Backpacking can be very refreshing… Anyway! I do agree with Kiwimuncher, and I certainly do not want the story to overdo itself. I was hoping to give it a slow pace. Relatively. And I also do not want one side of the war to look ‘good’ or ‘bad’.”
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Colonel O'Popcorn
in August 12th, 2008 @ 03:31264) Absolutely‚ we don’t want to constrict our writing too much. I’m not suggesting that we work out every little detail before we start writing‚ just that we do something like this:
Boy plays with kite. Kite is blown away into a tree. Boy cannot reach the kite. Boy calls Mommy. Mommy gets ladder and gets kite for boy. Boy is happy and plays with kite.
Vague enough to leave room for creativity‚ but strict enough to prevent a demon from possessing the kite and biting off the boy’s head. And‚ of course‚ if something in the plot is difficult to write up or if somebody gets a better idea for the plot‚ we can always revise the plot to suit the change.
PS to everyone who has mentioned a lack of “good” or “bad”: that will be difficult. Since we have a protagonist already‚ it will be tricky to leave him entirely foeless. Of course‚ we could revise that statement slightly and make both sides good/bad. I‚ for one‚ support making them both relatively evil‚ for multiple reasons. (Reading through posts‚ I realize that this is similar to what kiwimucher suggested – albeit jokingly – in post 255.)
a)Nick’s dad is opposed to alchemists. He probably has some reason for it.
b)We have portrayed an alchemist as evil in the prologue. In fact‚ both alchemists present are rather unsavory.
c)The ending I mentioned in comment 256 is possible. I think it’s a good ending‚ personally.
d)If they’re all good (prepare for sub-sections)
1.The characters are likely to be flat and/or static.
2.The story will probably be boring. There won’t be a conflict (unless there is some great calamity that they all have to work together to avert‚ which would not be historically accurate‚ barring something that I’ll mention in a footnote* because this parenthetical remark is too long already.)
3. It would be difficult‚ to say the least‚ to get Nick to go from one group to another (except if we use the scenario mentioned in the parenthetical remark in #2.) He has absolutely no incentive to do so.To be continued (maybe) later because I have to go to bed now.
Of course‚ we could drop that whole “moral ambiguity” thing altogether.
And the footnote:
*There could be something that only a few people know about‚ and so was not recorded in history books. A mad alchemist (Duval‚ perhaps?) creating something evil and dangerous (with the knowledge he acquired from the papers he stole) to take over Britain or its alchemists‚ and eventually the world. Or something accidentally that needs to be stopped‚ or an alien invasion (not recommended)‚ or something to that effect. Actually‚ the first sounds a bit intriguing‚ but so do all the other suggestions that people have made. Besides‚ that plotline is a bit hackneyed.
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in August 12th, 2008 @ 09:36271) Hey! You’re kind of forgetting the papers. Remember? A guy was murdered for them? I was kind of thinking that the papers would be what the story was largely about, that and Nicholas being torn between sides. But, even without the papers, I think the story would not be “flat”. I mean, politics is not in the least sense boring! Nicholas is torn between 2 groups of extremely powerful people in his government. Whichever side he chooses, he will be targeted afterward. Each side is appealing, but both are entirely corrupted. Nicholas is pretty much thrust into a world in which he knows nothing. There will be kidnappings, attempts on Nicholas’ life, even attempts on his family’s lives! Nicholas will try to escape, but of course, he can’t. And, in all the background of this, a mysterious plot (dealing with the papers of course). So, no, I don’t think we need an added *take over the world* thing. That’s kind of cliche……..
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in August 12th, 2008 @ 09:40271) Oops.
Sorry to double post, but I don’t think of Nicholas being “foeless”. To me, everyone is Nicholas’ foe.
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The Bookworm & Lurline (410 piepoints and two B-Day Points and 42 KAG Points!)
in August 12th, 2008 @ 17:52He’s against the entire world?
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Colonel O'Popcorn
in August 12th, 2008 @ 23:26272) Well‚ first of all‚ the alchemists were not a part of the government‚ although that’s really beside the point. Second of all‚ I think in this flurry of planning we’ve missed a giant hole in the thought process: why Nicholas? What makes Nick special enough to have two large‚ powerful groups risk prison and even their members’ lives over him? Nick is a poor kid living with his father. He can’t afford school. Since he presumably has a job‚ there can’t be much time to rendezvous with the mysterious old man who tutors him for some reason. His grounding in alchemy is even shakier than that in his other subjects. A few brief glances at his master’s books‚ maybe. Nobody had even heard of him until his teacher told them about his alchemical interest. I don’t think that an attempt on his life or anything of that sort is really in order here. A kidnapping‚ maybe‚ because an investigation into the kidnapping of a poor kid would not really have been the priority of the police of that time‚ but a murder is pretty serious and nobody would risk themselves to kill someone with as little importance as Nick. There are ways to increase his importance‚ but we should settle on one before talking about attempts on his life.
Also‚ I suggested world conquest just as an example. I certainly agree that it is cliché. That doesn’t mean that we can’t do something similar to that‚ of course.
One last thing. I did mention the papers (if only briefly.) Maybe you ought to go back and read the post again.
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in August 13th, 2008 @ 09:21Why Nicholas? Well, I was thinking that he was of interest because his master had taught his using the alchemical books. Who knows how far Nicholas had gone in the books? We didn’t exactly specify, but he must have been doing something serious for his master to turn him in. So, if he’s gifted, he’s of interest to the alchemists and a threat to the logicians, so it would make sense for the logicians to kidnap Nicholas. Murder and stuff like that could come later, that’s what I meant……. not right now….. definately not now!
274) No, that’s not what I meant exactly. Just that there’s no one that Nicholas can fully trust. In a brief instant anyone could turn from an ally to an enemy.
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Colonel O'Popcorn
in August 13th, 2008 @ 20:32But what makes him a threat to the logicians? Surely there are plenty of occultists (and logicians‚ for that matter) far more talented than he is. They’ve had hands-on experience in alchemy while he’s only had books‚ as far as we know. Plus‚ apparently they get together and share their learnings to increase their knowledge. His master‚ as you’ll recall‚ was angry at him for looking in the alchemy books. Clearly his master was not teaching him from them. And how much of these books did he understand anyway? Surely his master would have thick‚ complex books with titles more like Ye Seckrettes of the Darke Magycks‚ not Alchemy for Dummies. So while I willingly accept the idea that Nick has a talent for alchemy‚ it is highly unpalatable to me to assume that he has had a chance to show it‚ because he probably knows very little about alchemy no matter how far he’s read in the books. Also‚ he has nobody to show his talent to.
Your premise that Nick’s master taught him alchemy isn’t inherently bad‚ it just happens to contradict what we have. Actually‚ I support a revision of the written story to make it so that his teacher taught him alchemy as well. I think that the current state of our story is a little sloppy‚ for the reasons mentioned above. I think that all the outcomes we’ve mentioned are not possible without a clean introduction‚ which is not what we have. All who think that we should revise our story so far (exclusive of the brilliant prologue‚ of course) say “Aye.”Aye!
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in August 14th, 2008 @ 13:51Well, I guess I thought that any possible occultist, no matter how small, would be a threat to the logicians. I mean, for all the logicians know, Nicholas could grow up to be quite a powerful enemy, so it would be a small business to get rid of him early…..
Actually, I hadn’t thought of the old man teaching him alchemy…… I was just thinking that Nicholas had been teaching himself (which I still stubbornly think is possible) ………but I guess we could do that………
ARg! revising already?
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Colonel O'Popcorn
in August 14th, 2008 @ 17:55278) Well‚ I don’t like to revise this early either‚ but I think that there are some serious troubles in what we’ve written.
Murder is not a small business! Maybe each group would try to persuade Nick to join them‚ but attempts on Nicholas’s life is going too far‚ no matter how gifted he is. Assuming that somebody tries to kill Nick but gets caught. Nick dies‚ but the killer is sent to jail for life or hanged. Probably hanged. The logicians take care of someone who might possibly be a bit of a threat later‚ but lose one of their assets. Not very smart of them to risk that.
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Kokonilly
in August 14th, 2008 @ 17:59*jumps back in* 276 – That’s good. I like that.
278 – It’s okay, I revise all the time with my small pieces, even right before I turn them in to the teacher.
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in August 15th, 2008 @ 18:42279) I don’t know. For these people, murder would probubly be a rather small thing, espescially the murder of a young boy who no one really cares about. Besides. the logicians wouldn’t use one of their own to do the deed. They would hire someone to do the dirty work for them and make sure it is impossible to trace the act to them if the killer is caught.
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The Bookworm & Lurline (410 piepoints and two B-Day Points and 42 KAG Points!)
in August 17th, 2008 @ 11:19Murder I expect would not be a major issue for cults like these! I mean, they murder each other for pieces of paper!
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in August 17th, 2008 @ 19:00282) Exactly! Although…… I would say that those papers were VERY important!
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in August 18th, 2008 @ 19:33*lurks*
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in August 20th, 2008 @ 06:40So……….. *awkward pause* I guess we should try to start writing again. Or edit. Or something…………
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Colonel O'Popcorn
in August 20th, 2008 @ 12:12282) Well‚ keep in mind that it’s possible Duval was working on his own. Also‚ the papers were clearly something very special‚ as kiwimuncher said in post 283. And if the theft of the papers could cause “the beginnings of a catastrophe‚” they’re definitely worth murdering for. Just because one alchemist murders for incredibly valuable papers and the victim of his theft attempts murder in self-defense doesn’t mean that alchemists‚ or anyone‚ take murder lightly. Never underestimate death.
281) You’re right that nobody would really care about the death of somebody like Nicholas. If they weren’t caught in the act‚ his death would not be investigated. However‚ if they were caught‚ nobody would allow a kid to be killed. There would be a high risk of interference which would not be worth the reward of killing Nick.
And I disagree that they would use someone else. First of all‚ they might not find anybody willing to work for an alchemist. There was‚ to understate‚ quite a bit of superstition surrounding alchemy at the time‚ in part thanks to the occultists and in part simply thanks to the nature of alchemy itself. Most people then‚ mercenaries included‚ would be hesitant to associate with alchemists of either sect‚ even if it’s only working for them briefly. Remember how angry Nick’s dad was when he saw that letter?
Second of all‚ Duval did the dirty work himself in the prologue; why wouldn’t the others? Admittedly‚ that crime was primarily a theft‚ not a murder‚ but a murder happened as well.
I’m pretty sure I thought of other reasons‚ but if I did I forgot them. Anyway‚ a murder attempt is a bad idea at this point. Maybe later‚ but Nicholas is not important enough right now.285) I think we’ve written ourselves into a bit of a rut no matter what we decide to do from here‚ so IMHO a revision is in order about now.
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in August 20th, 2008 @ 15:24But the logicians aren’t alchemists. Are they?
Anyway though, I don’t see why I’ve started an argument about this because we’re not planning on having Nicholas murdered anytime soon. so……. I guess revising is in order. *sigh*So, our main problem is that we don’t know why the alchemists would be even slightly interested in Nicholas. OK! Has anyone concocted any ideas? I think that we can still keep most of what we have. I don’t think that the old man would be teaching Nicholas actual alchemy. That would probubly be against the law. So, with that ruled out, I don’t know. Is still think that it’s possible that Nicholas could have taught himself, showing himself to be exceptionally bright. Or maybe his master caught him reading something he shouldn’t have been reading, more serious then just reading the alchemy books in general. Like some secret of the alchemists? Or…… I like this idea…… the teacher turned him in because of the superstition about alchemists that Colonel O’Popcorm mentioned earlier. Any suggestions?
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Colonel O'Popcorn
in August 20th, 2008 @ 23:20That’s good‚ I think. The superstition thing‚ I mean. But he needs to have some sort of aid‚ no matter how small‚ or it just ain’t believable. How about a sort of group of friends that meet and try out experiments that they learned from books they found. Perhaps they all have the same teacher? Then they pool their learnings later and see what works and what doesn’t. Nicholas should probably be the best in the group. Maybe their unofficial leader as well. So the teacher doesn’t know about these gatherings‚ but he sees Nick looking through alchemy books. He lies to the occultists about how talented Nicholas is because he just wants Nick to go away. The occultists believe him and are very determined to control Nick’s supposedly incredible talent for alchemy. However‚ they find that Nick‚ while mildly talented‚ is not the prodigy they thought they were getting‚ so they are mean to him. Nick‚ with the help of his friends‚ escapes. The logicians don’t know that Nicholas isn’t all he’s cracked up to be‚ so they get hold of him. I don’t know what to do from there yet‚ but that’s what I’ve thought of so far. How is it?
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kiwimuncher
in August 21st, 2008 @ 09:36aw.
What about the kidnapping thing? What if we had Nicholas get kidnapped. Later, the occulists rescue him and then find out he not all he’s cracked out to be.
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Kokonilly
in August 21st, 2008 @ 11:39*lurks*
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Alice
in August 22nd, 2008 @ 11:51I like Colonel O’Popcorn’s outline in 288, however, in my adoration of compromise, I suggest that when Nick refuses to join the occultists, they kidnap him before discovering that he’s really not that great.
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Colonel O'Popcorn
in August 22nd, 2008 @ 15:10291) Oh‚ that’s good. It lets us keep Nick’s dad’s resistance to alchemy. Also‚ we can say that Nick does want to join the alchemists‚ but he’s close to his dad‚ so in deference to his dad’s wishes he decides not to go with the alchemists. Intra-family ties are always good. But then the alchemists kidnap him anyway‚ like you said.
I think Nick’s dad should play a role of some import in the story.
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points)
in August 22nd, 2008 @ 15:24I thought the logicians were kidnapping him? Oh never mind! It doesn’t matter! This sounds good!
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Colonel O'Popcorn
in August 22nd, 2008 @ 22:26293) The logicians and the occultists are different sects that study alchemy in different ways; the logicians using math and stuff‚ the occultists using…occult things. So the statements “the alchemists kidnap Nicholas” and “the logicians kidnap Nicholas” do not necessarily contradict one another.
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points) (50 Muszey points)
in August 23rd, 2008 @ 08:32Oh. OK. I didn’t know that. Thanks!
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points) (50 Muszey points)
in August 26th, 2008 @ 20:33la dee da. I really want to post, but I’m really tired and…….gosh I have a lot to do…….. *exasperated sigh*
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points) (50 Muszey points)
in August 28th, 2008 @ 18:30OK! I’m back!
————————————–
With that, Nicholas’ father released the boy gruffly. Immediately, the old man, hurried through their ragged home, gathering several valuables.
“Wh……what are you doing?” Nicholas squeaked.
“Packing boy! Packing!” his father called over his shoulder. “We can’t delay! Those vultures will be expecting your reply by morning! We mustn’t be here when that time comes!”
————————————
Perhaps time for a continued flashback about what has gotten Nicholas into this mess? I don’t really get what everyone wants for the explanation though. Perhaps someone who knows more about it could be obliged?
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The Bookworm & Lurline (410 piepoints and two B-Day Points and 42 KAG Points!)
in August 30th, 2008 @ 12:33Sorry I’ve been away! Great planning!
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points) (50 Muszey points)
in September 1st, 2008 @ 08:18Yay! Happy September!
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points) (50 Muszey points)
in September 3rd, 2008 @ 20:24*gets tired of waving flag* Hello?
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points) (50 Muszey points)
in September 6th, 2008 @ 08:24GURGLE!
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points) (50 Muszey points)
in September 8th, 2008 @ 20:27I shall now use the power of the force to bring other people to this thread. NOW!
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Colonel O'Popcorn
in September 8th, 2008 @ 21:37* * * * *
Nicholas looked on blankly for a moment, still processing the events of the last couple of minutes. Then he leapt to packing with gusto. Fortunately, the Burows did not own much of anything, so packing was the work of a few minutes. Nicholas’s father shoved him out the door. Nicholas took one last wistful glance back at the house where he was born and raised and had lived in all his life. Then he rushed to catch up with his father.
The two bivouacked on the banks of the Thames that night.
“They may still find us if they’re determined enough,” Nick’s father warned. “In the morning we’ll go to your uncle for a secure, permanent place to stay, but until then we oughta keep watch. You got us into this mess, so you go first. Wake me when the moon’s at 45 degrees.”
With that, he layed down and fell asleep. The ground was rough and uncomfortable, but Nicholas and his father were used to rough and uncomfortable.
Nicholas settled in for his hour-long watch. For a while he was wide awake, but soon the activities of the day got to him, and watching the hypnotic dancers that were the tongues of flame from the small fire they had dared to light, he felt the lids of his eyes get heavier…droopier…closed. Nicholas had uncomfortable dreams about rough voices and harsh laughter, and in the morning he woke up in a different place from were he went to sleep.
* * * * *
We should probably think of a name for Nick’s father if we’re going to use him much more.
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Alice
in September 8th, 2008 @ 21:45303- … It’s the dead of winter. Just thought you might want to take that into consideration.
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points) (50 Muszey points)
in September 10th, 2008 @ 20:13Oh NO! They were kidnapped be cackling minions? WHose minions? Or are they just regular thugs?
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points) (50 Muszey points)
in September 11th, 2008 @ 19:39Hmmmmmmm. Nick’s father? Let’s see……. it should be simple….. this his background…… How about Ceorl? (literally means peasant :smile:)
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points) (50 Muszey points)
in September 14th, 2008 @ 19:13 Hello? I guess if that’s not good, he could have a different name.
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points) (50 Muszey points)
in September 16th, 2008 @ 19:11It’s been, like, a week since anyone besides me has posted. I suppose I”m just impatient. Although, it might help if we got a new thread. Maybe. Maybe it would help.
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gimanator
in September 18th, 2008 @ 09:29Possibly. Or it might just mean I’ve been overloaded with homework.
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kiwimuncher
in September 19th, 2008 @ 06:45309) That too.
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points) (50 Muszey points)
in September 27th, 2008 @ 09:49OK. So, I’m going to guess that Nicholas has been abducted by the occulists or whichever group it is. bUt what about his dad? *plan forms*
——————————————————
NIcholas sat up with a jolt. He was sitting on a cold, damp floor with a barred door at its end. No amount of blinking could assure Nicholas that he was dreaming. Terrified, he ran up to the door and looked through the bars. He appeared to be in one of many cells that were lined up alongside a narrow hall. Was this…..? But how…..? Could this possibly be a JAIL?! And where was his father? With a moan, Nicholas sat down heavily.
A raspy chuckle came to Nicholas’s ears and he turned around to see a ragged man staring at him from the cell across from his own. “Feeling a little woozy lad?” the man growled mockingly. “Present accommodations got ‘cha down?” An unfriendly spurt of laughter escaped his wretched maw. “But…” Nicholas protested. “I didn’t…….. They couldn’t possibly……. Where is my father?!”
This protest brought a sound much like that of a strangled dog from the man. “It doesn’t matter what you did of did not do boy!” the man snarled. “If they want you, they will get you. And I wouldn’t be moaning after your father. He was quite happy to hand you over for a pretty penny and escape from the noose.” The man cackled gleefully at the look of horror on Nicholas’ face as he turned away. Enveloped with waves of hopelessness, Nicholas curled up into a ball and sobbed.
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points) (50 Muszey points)
in September 30th, 2008 @ 19:15Everyone seems to be speechless. Was it THAT bad?!
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Colonel O'Popcorn
in October 8th, 2008 @ 18:44306) His name should probably be somewhat more British.
304) Oops. I didn’t know that. Oh well, we can edit it. Actually, I don’t think the basics of that passage should change – the extreme cold would make him fall asleep more easily and the danger involved in camping outside in such a climate adds to the drama, in my opinion.WOAH. The last post was a long time ago.
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kiwimuncher
in October 13th, 2008 @ 07:05OKey dokey.
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points) (50 Muszey points)
in October 18th, 2008 @ 21:09What do you think his name should be then? What kind of name would you consider “British”?
I really like Ceorl the best, it is after all, a traditionally european name. Other names that could work might be Purcell, Pelham, Kaelan, Pierce. I really don’t know. Can you think of any names?
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Colonel O'Popcorn
in October 25th, 2008 @ 20:53Purcell, Pelham, and Pierce, as you suggested, are good names. However, they are surnames. Kaelan… anything with “ae” in it is fairly atypical, I’d say. Remember that this is NOT a fantasy story. Names are a little more restricted. Of your suggestions, Pierce is the best, but I would personally still not use it.
Try thinking along the lines of Johns and Jacks (although I wouldn’t use those either, since they are perhaps a little too ordinary. Creativity is allowed, but I would advise you not to let it get too out of hand.)
My personal ideas would include Mark or Matthew, Biblical names like that. It shows that he places strong trust in religion, which generally leads to a distrust of shady, uncertain, even forbidden subjects such as alchemy, and he wants his flesh and blood to stay away from them too.
The one I would back most strongly is Gabriel. Like the angel who guards Eden, Nicholas’s father is doing whatever he can to keep the (in his view) corrupted alchemists away from his son’s innocence. He may not have a flaming sword, but he will do all he can to keep those already cast from the innocence of childhood from invading again and enticing his son to consume the proverbial apple.
That said, I think it is not entirely accurate in light of the story’s general view of alchemy. a more appropriate choice, I think, would be that of a rather more miserly kind of guardian, who jealously clutches his precious charge from all who attempt to take it from him. The problem is that I can’t think of anybody like that off the top of my head.But absolutely no Ceorl! Agreed?
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points) (50 Muszey points)
in October 28th, 2008 @ 09:15316) OK OK. No Ceorl.
I don’t know if a name around “guardian” would be intirely accurate though, since, apparently, Nicholas has now been handed over for gold by his father. Of course, that could be a lie….
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Colonel O'Popcorn
in October 29th, 2008 @ 20:54317) I think it best that it’s a lie. They are psychologically intimidating him and at the same time mentally severing his ties to his father with a knife of betrayal. (Ooh, I like that metaphor.) However, if we are really going to have a genuine betrayal, his name could be something like Benedict, or, if we want to stick with Biblical references, Judas (although that might be a little too blatant, and perhaps unrealistic – after all, who would name their son Judas?). Also, we could stick closely to the time and go with Cromwell (or Walter, Cromwell’s first name)(I think). Brutus would be good if it weren’t Caesarean.
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Robert Coontz (Administrator)
in October 29th, 2008 @ 20:55Are you talking about Oliver Cromwell?
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Colonel O'Popcorn
in October 30th, 2008 @ 20:36319) Oh. Yeah. I knew that it ended with -er, at least. That’s what I get for not checking things I’m unsure of, I suppose.
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points) (50 Muszey points)
in November 4th, 2008 @ 20:15No, definately not Judas. You’re right. I couldn’t imagine someone naming their child Judas. Of course, I couldn’t imagine smeone naming their child Orangejello, Lemonjello (hey, they were twins), Gaylord, Dick Head, Princess Hightower or Bud Light. But those occurred as well…..
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Colonel O'Popcorn
in November 5th, 2008 @ 22:03It takes a cruel sense of humor to name a child something like that. Thanks for those examples, by the way – they gave me some good ideas.
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kiwimuncher
in November 6th, 2008 @ 14:46Ideas for what? *is alarmed* I hope not for some poor unsuspecting person!
Aloas. all this talking about names has caused me to toally forget where we were in the story……. Ah! Yes! Nicholas in jail…..
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kiwimuncher
in November 6th, 2008 @ 14:47OMG! I just had an excelent idea! We are past 300 posts! How about a new thread, so that we can get rid of the lack of people on this thread?
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Colonel O'Popcorn
in November 10th, 2008 @ 21:02Yes, that would be probably be for the best. Good idea!
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kiwimuncher
in November 14th, 2008 @ 14:59*hint hint* Hi GAPAs!
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Colonel O'Popcorn
in November 17th, 2008 @ 19:36Should we take this to the suggestion box first?
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kiwimuncher
in November 19th, 2008 @ 15:24I guess we should. Usually they would have changed it by now though. I’ve never done that before.
please GAPAs? Pretty PLEASE?! New thread?
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points) (50 Muszey points)
in November 24th, 2008 @ 19:58OK. I’ll bring it to the suggestion box.
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points) (50 Muszey points)
in November 27th, 2008 @ 09:37PLEASE?! NEW THREAD!
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kiwimuncher (2 B-Day points) (50 Muszey points)
in November 27th, 2008 @ 09:51OK! For the new thread, I shall post a summary of what we are currently doing….. We haven’t really gotten that far it the story yet.
——————————————Nicholas is a poor, teenager who grew up on the streets. However, his life changes when he decides he wants to learn to read under a master (name?). But, when he disobeys his master and examines the forbidden books, his master turns him in to governmental officials, who are highly interested in Nicholas continuing with his education. currently, Nicholas is in a jail cell after being captured by the government while trying to escape with his father. (supposedly, his father gave Nicholas over for money, SUPPOSEDLY)
Post 288 is a good idea about what we’re thinking about doing in the future. We really haven’t gotten that far in the story though, to it would be nice to get some help.[The beneficent GAPAs have granted your request for a new thread. –Admin]
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