I love parody. I’ve written quite a few, but they’re all inside jokes for my friends. Nobody here could grasp the meaning of “life just sucks, ‘cuz Marco ate my pants” unless you’re one of my friends and I don’t know it. *sigh* New mission- write parodies that people I don’t always hang out with can grasp.
Let’s see… All the HPBs? Big Kokopelli? Welcome to the New Muse?
Are we allowed to post parodies we didn’t make up? If so…
“A Complicated Song” by Weird Al Yankovic
Sung to the tune of “Complicated”
Uh huh … extra cheese
Uh huh, uh huh … save a piece for me
Pizza party at your house
I went just to check it out
Nineteen extra larges
What a shame
No one came
Just us eatin’ all alone
You said, “Take the pizza home”
“No sense lettin’ all this go to waste”
So then I faced
Pizza all day
And every day
This cheese ’round the clock
Is gettin’ me blocked
And I sure don’t care
For irregularity
Tell me
Why’d you have to go and make me so constipated?
‘Cause right now I’d do anything to just get my bowels evacuated
In the bathroom … I sit and I wait and I strain
And I sweat and I clench and I feel the pain
Oh, should I take laxatives or have my colon irrigated?
No no no
I was feelin’ pretty down
‘Till my girlfriend came around
We’re just so alike in every way
I gotta say
In fact, I just thought I might
Pop the question there that night
I was kissing her so tenderly
But woe is me
Who would have guessed
Her family crest
I’d suddely spy
Tattooed on her thigh
And son-of-a-gun
It’s just like the one on me
Tell me
How was I supposed to know we were both related?
Believe me, if I knew she was my cousin we never would have dated
What to do now? Should I go ahead and propose
And get hitched and have kids with eleven toes
And move to Alabama where that kind of thing is tolerated?
No no no no no no no
No no no no no no no
No no no no no
I had so much on my mind
I thought maybe I’d unwind
Try out that new roller coaster ride
And the guide
Said not to stand
But that’s a demand
That I couldn’t meet
I got on my feet
And stood up instead
And knocked off my head, you see
Tell me
Why’d I have to go and get myself decapitated?
This really is a major inconvenience, oh man, I really hate it
Such a drag, now … Can’t eat, I can’t breathe, I can’t snore
I can’t belch or yodel anymore
Can’t spit or blow my nose or even read Sports Illustrated
Oh no
Why’d I have to go and get myself all mutilated? (yeah, yeah)
I gotta tell ya, life without a head kinda makes me irritated
What a bummer
Can’t blink, I can’t cough, I can’t sneeze
But my neck is enjoyin’ a pleasant breeze now
Haven’t been the same since my head and I were separated
No no no
Instant Pie’s gonna get you,
Gonna hit you right on the head,
You better get yourself together,
Pretty soon you’re gonna be pied,
What in the musiverse you thinking of,
Laughing in the face of Muse,
What on earth you tryin’ to do,
It’s up to you, yeah you.
Instant Pie’s gonna hit you,
Gonna pie you right in the face,
Better get yourself together darlin’,
Join the muser race,
How in the world you gonna see,
Laughin’ at fools like me,
Who on earth d’you think you are,
A muser?
Well, right you are.
Well we all love pie,
Like kokopelli and the Musers and I
Well we all love pie
Ev’ryone come on.
Instant Pie’s gonna get you,
Gonna pie you off your feet,
Better recognize your brothers,
Ev’ryone you meet,
Why in the musiverse are we here,
Surely not to live in pain and fear,
Why on earth are you there,
When you’re ev’rywhere,
Come and get your share.
Well we all love pie,
Like kokopelli and the musers and the I,
Yeah we all love pie,
Come on and on and on on on,
Yeah yeah, alright, uh huh, ah-.
Well we all love pie,
Like kokopelli and the musers and I,
Yeah we all love pie,
On and on and on on and on.
Well we all love pie,
Like kokopelli and the musers and I.
Well we all love pie,
Like the Kokopelli and the musers and I.
Yeah we all love pie,
Like kokopelli and the musers and I.
Hehe, I made up a tiny song about my dog to the tune of “Super Trouperâ€
Tonight the
Super Pooper Nessa’s is gonna find me
Like she always does
I’m gonna have to pick it up
Feeling like a janitor
Tonight the
Super Poopers fumes are gonna kill me
And I’ll still feel blue
Like I always do
‘Cause somewhere in the grass there’s poo
*falls down laughing* it’s so incredibly idiotic!
(To the tune of “Milkshake”)
MY Pokemon brings all the nerds to the yard!
And they’re like, “you wanna trade cards?”
Heck right! I wanna trade cards!
I’ll trade this, but not my Charizard!
Here Comes Another Bubble (We Didn’t Start The Fire)
Get me a CS degree
Honor roll, MIT
Moved to Palo Alto
oppurtunity knocked
Thought I had the perfect plan
Took the job at webvan
Traded in my twenties
For a worthless pile of tech stock
Suffered through the market crash
Lost a giant wad of cash
Pink slips, burger flips
Would you like some fries?
Happy days are here again
Larry Page, Sergey Brin
Time to write a business plan
So I can be like those guys!
Here comes another bubble
It’s a monster rally
all around the valley
First you need a buzzword
Then a second and a third
Pick at least two industries
You’ll revolutionize
Find yourself and engineer
Feed him pizza, buy him beer
Give him just a fraction of a fraction of the pie
Need a good domain name
Must be cheap, can’t be lame
Something cool like Flickr, Meebo, WikiYou, Mahalo, Bebo, Telephone without the “T”!
Digg but with a triple g!
Make your elevator pitch!
Code it up and flip the switch!
Here comes another bubble
The VCs are backing
Baby lets get cracking!
Blog Blog Blog it all
Blog it if it’s big or small
Blog in the locker room!
Babies blogging in the womb!
Blog even if your wrong
Won’t you blog about this song?
Launch party, nicely dressed
Whats the point? Sausage fest.
Blue shirts, khaki pants
Looking like a line of ants
Need to get a facebook page
All these guys are half my age!
29, past my prime!
I feel so behind the times!
Here comes another bubble
In a year we swear
we’ll all be billionaires
Make yourself a million bucks
Partly skill, mostly luck
Now you can afford a down payment
on a small house
If you want a bigger one
Hillsborough, Atherton
Better hope the same thing
happened to your spouse
IPO, lucky you
Have your cake and eat it too
Private yacht, party jet
Why not bye a matching set?
Build yourself a rocket ship
Blast off on an ego trip
Can this really be the end?
Back to work you go again!
Here comes another bubble
and when we are gone
this will still go on
and on, and on, and on, and on, and one, and on, and…
Woah, that took a long time. I had to watch the video and type the lyrics *sighs*
People from both my school in California and my current school knew these songs.
Deck the halls with poison ivy
Falalalala-lalalala
‘Tis the season to be naughty
Falalalala-lalalala
Break the window
With the baseball
Falala-falala-la-la-la
Open the door while the car is driving
Falalalala-lalalala
AND
Jingle bells, batman smells
Robin laid an egg
Batmobile lost a wheel
And Joker did ballet -hey!
AND
Crashing through the snow
On a pair of broken skis
O’er the hills we go
Crashing into trees!
The snow is turning red
I think I’m almost dead
And now I’m in the hospital with needles in my head!
Ohhhhhhhh!
9-1-1
9-1-1
9-1-1 all day!
Oh what fun it is to be
In an ambulance all day – hey!
9-1-1
9-1-1
9-1-1 all day!
Oh what fun it is to be
In an ambulance all day!
A long long time ago,
long before the super bowl and things like lemonade.
The Hellenic Republic was full of smarts.
And a question resting on the Grecian hearts was what is the circumference of a circle?
But they were set on rational numbers.
And it ranks among their biggest blunders.
They worked on it for years.
And confirmed one of their biggest fears.
I can’t be certain if they cried when irrationality was realized.
But something deep within them died.
The day
They discovered…
Pi
They were thinking,
Pi pi mathematical pi
3 point 141592
6535897
93238462
64338327 Not rounded
I was free when we met
You were looking in the bargain bin
With your mom – with a net
At Wal-Mart
Then you smiled like you knew
That today you’d buy a Barbie
And that Barbie turned out to be me
How do I “feelâ€
Ever since you dropped me in the trash
I’m starting to peel
As the rats knaw at my arms
How do I “feelâ€
Now that I’m moldy
For the thing that I miss the most
Is getting dressed up
I was fine for a while
I still looked the same
But the rats came and I got chewed up
Now I’m changed
I’m pretty sure
More and more I look disfigured
Sometimes its hard to look the same
How do I “feelâ€
Ever since you dropped me in the trash
I’m starting to peel
As the rats knaw at my arms
How do I “feelâ€
Now that I’m moldy
For the thing that I miss the most
Is getting dressed up
Sometimes
You get trapped in the garbage
And you know you’ll never get out
*music plays*
How do I “feelâ€
Now that I’m moldy
For the thing that I miss the most
I miss the dog, I miss the cat
I miss the toy chest, I miss the days
You’d take me out, and we’d play
But the thing that I miss the most
How do I “feelâ€
I’m starting to peel
How do “feelâ€
Now that I’m moldy
For the thing that I miss the most
Is getting dressed up
My friend and I wrote a parody of “When You’re Evil”:
When the hacker is too busy,
And a virus is too much,
They call on me by name you see,
For my special touch.
To the gentlemen, I’m an outcast,
To the ladies, I’m a freak.
But call me by any name,
Any way, it’s all the same…
I’m the lurker on your blog
I’m the stalker on your site
I’m the spammer in your mail
Yes, I made your server fail
And it’s so easy when you’re nerdy.
This is my life you see,
The leet all tip their hats to me
I do it all because I’m nerdy
And I do it all for free
Your Facebook page is all I’ll ever need
Dashing through the snow on a pair a broken skis
Over the hills we go, crashing into trees
The snow is turning red
I think I’m almost dead
All I want is a hospital bed
Theres a huge crack in my head!
Oh
Santa Clause, Santa Clause
Santa Clause is dead
Rudolph took a 44
and shot him in the head, oh
Barbie doll, Barbie doll tried to save his life
but “G I”- Joe FROM MEXICO stabbed her with a knife
OH! Jingle bells, jingle bells,
Jingle all the way!
Oh what fun it is to ride with a monkey in my sleigh, hey!
Jingle bells, jingle bells, I think I see a light
Don’t touch the reindeer, I’ve warned you
‘Cause Rudolf just might bite!
WOAH! Jingle bells, jingle bells!
Santa Clause is dead
Rudolph took a 44
and shot him in the head, oh
Barbie doll, Barbie doll tried to save his life
but “G I” Joe from Mexico, stabbed her with a knife
…Wheir all on this for money and were payed to play roles in this stupid show! wheir all in this for money and we know that it shows that our harts are not in it! (Repeat repeat repeat..)
Oh my gosh, lookit what I just found on YouTube. This is GOLD.
http:// www. youtube.com /watch?v=7arl-cYDRn0
Song: The Saga Begins
To the Tune Of: American Pie
By: “Weird Al” Yankovic
Lyrics:
The Saga Begins Lyrics
Artist(Band):Weird Al Yankovic Review The Song (14) Print the Lyrics:
A long, long time ago
In a galaxy far away
Naboo was under an attack
And I find me and Qui-Gon Jinn
Could talk the federation in
To maybe cutting them a little slack
But their response, it didn’t thrill us
They locked the doors and tried to kill us
We escaped from that gas
Then met Jar Jar and Boss Nass
We took a bongo from the scene
And we went to Theed to see the Queen
We all wound up on Tatooine
That’s where we found this boy
Oh
My my this here Anakin guy
Maybe Vader someday later
Now he’s just a small fry
He left his home
And kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin’
“Soon I’m gonna be a Jedi”
“Soon I’m gonna be a Jedi”
Did you know this junkyard slave
Isn’t even old enough to shave
But he can use the Force, they say
Ahh, do you see him hitting on the queen
Though he’s just nine and she’s fourteen
Yeah, he’s probably gonna marry her someday
Well, I know he built C-3PO
And I’ve heard how fast his pod can go
And we were broke, it’s true
So we made a wager or two
He was a prepubescent flyin’ ace
And the minute Jabba started off that race
Well, I knew who would win first place
Oh yes, it was our boy
We started singin’
My my this here Anakin guy
Maybe Vader someday later
Now he’s just a small fry
And he left his home
And kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin’
“Soon I’m gonna be a Jedi”
“Soon I’m gonna be a Jedi”
Now we finally got to Coruscant
The Jedi Council we knew would want
To see how good the boy could be
So we took him there and we told the tale
How his midi-chlorians were off the scale
And he might fulfill that prophecy
Oh the Council was impressed of course
Could he bring balance to the Force?
They interviewed the kid
Oh, training they forbid
Because Yoda sensed in him much fear
And Qui-Gon said “Now listen here”
“Just stick it in your pointy ear”
“I still will teach this boy”
He was singin’
My my this here Anakin guy
Maybe Vader someday later
Now he’s just a small fry
And he left his home
And kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin’
“Soon I’m gonna be a Jedi”
“Soon I’m gonna be a Jedi”
We caught a ride back to Naboo
‘Cause Queen Amidala wanted to
I frankly would’ve liked to stay
We all fought in that epic war
And it wasn’t long at all before
Little hotshot flew his plane and saved the day
And in the end some Gungans died
Some ships blew up and some pilots fried
A lot of folks were croakin’
The battle droids were broken
And the Jedi I admire most
Met up with Darth Maul and now he’s toast
Well, I’m still here and he’s a ghost
I guess I’ll train this boy
And I was singin’
My my this here Anakin guy
Maybe Vader someday later
Now he’s just a small fry
And he left his home
And kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin’
“Soon I’m gonna be a Jedi”
“Soon I’m gonna be a Jedi”
We were singin’
My my this here Anakin guy
Maybe Vader someday later
Now he’s just a small fry
And he left his home
And kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin’ “Soon I’m gonna be a Jedi”
I ‘ve written a few parodies, but here’s the first, to the tune of “The Monster Mash”:
THE MARTIAN MASH.
I was working at the dish
Late one night
When I beheld an eerie sight
An alien tune was ringing through my ears
I’d been hoping for this for years and years-
It was the mash!
It was the Martian Mash!
The Martian Mash!
A Cydonian smash!
The Martian Mash!
Great to play at a bash!
The Martian Mash!
Come do the Martian Mash!
Amazed, I let out a yell
They must have heard me in New Rochelle!
I woke my boss right out of his bed,
He said “Can’t it wait till morning? Go soak ya head!â€
Ignoring all his curses and groans
I offered him my headphones
He heard the Mash!
He heard the Martian Mash!
The Martian Mash!
A Cydonian smash!
The Martian Mash!
Great to play at a bash!
The Martian Mash!
Come do the Martian Mash!
Contact! Hooray! Talk about fun!
And only forty years after we’d begun!
We phoned our founders,
The Director and her son
Everyone came, crazy for that sound
Not that we’re publicity hounds
Some guys in dark glasses started to arrive
Their name was something like “Majestic Fiveâ€
We showed them the Mash!
We played the Martian Mash!
The Martian Mash!
A Cydonian smash!
The Martian Mash!
Great to play at a bash!
The Martian Mash!
Come do the Martian Mash!
Then from our headphones, a voice did ring
ET wanted to say just one thing
“Too much waiting!†He said, shaking his fist
“Send some astronauts up here to teach us the twist!â€
Thanks for the Mash!
Thanks for your Martian Mash!
The Martian Mash!
Your Cydonian smash!
The Martian Mash!
Great to play at a bash!
The Martian Mash!
Come do the Martian Mash!
Now everything’s cool, NASA drew up a plan
And in three days, we send our first band
They’re great singers, great dancers too
But they need one more member- how about you!
Then we’ll all dance the Mash!
We’ll dance the Martian Mash!
The Martian Mash!
The Cydonian smash!
The Martian Mash!
Great to play at a bash!
The Martian Mash!
Come do the Martian Mash!
15–That is quite possibly my favorite parody of all time.
To the tune of “Joy to the World” (this is a CLASSIC elementary school material):
Joy to the world,
The teacher is dead.
We bar-be-que’d
Her head!
Don’t worry ’bout the body
We flushed it down the potty
And ’round and ’round it goes
And ’round and ’round it goes
And ’round and ’round and ’round it goes!
Another Weird Al one (parody of Ridin’ by Chamillionare)–White and Nerdy
They see me mowin’
My front lawn
I know they’re all thinking
I’m so White N’ nerdy
Think I’m just too white n’ nerdy
Think I’m just too white n’ nerdy
Can’t you see I’m white n’ nerdy
Look at me I’m white n’ nerdy!
I wanna roll with
The gangsters
But so far they all think
I’m too white n’ nerdy
Think I’m just too white n’ nerdy
Think I’m just too white n’ nerdy
I’m just too white n’ nerdy
Really, really white n’ nerdy
First in my class here at M.I.T.
Got skills, I’m a Champion of DND
MC Escher that’s my favorite MC
Keep your 40
I’ll just have an Earl Grey tea
My rims never spin to the contrary
You’ll find they’re quite stationary
All of my action figures are cherry
Steven Hawkings in my library
My MySpace page is all totally pimped out
I got people begging for my top 8 spaces
Yo I know Pi to a thousand places
Ain’t got no grills but I still wear braces
I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise
I’m a whiz at minesweeper I can play for days
Once you see my sweet moves you’re gonna stay amazed,
my fingers movin’ so fast I’ll set the place ablaze
There’s no killer app I haven’t run
At Pascal, well, I’m number 1
Do vector calculus just for fun
I ain’t got a gat but I gotta soldering gun
Happy days is my favourite theme song
I can sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong
I’ll ace any trivia quiz you bring on
I’m fluent in Java Script as well as Klingon
Here’s the part I sing on
They see me roll on
my Segway
I know in my heart they think I’m
white n’ nerdy!
Think I’m just too white n’ nerdy
Think I’m just too white n’ nerdy
Can’t you see I’m white n’ nerdy
Look at me I’m white n’ nerdy
I’d like to roll with-
The gangsters
Although it’s apparent I’m too
White n’ nerdy
Think I’m just too white n’ nerdy
I’m just too white n’ nerdy
How’d I get so white n’ nerdy?
I’ve been browsing, inspectin’
X-men comics you know I collect ’em
The pens in my pocket
I must protect ’em
my ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored
Shopping online for deals on some writable media
I edit Wikipedia
I memorized Holy Grail really well
I can recite it right now and have you ROTFLOL
I got a business doing websites
When my friends need some code who do they call?
I do HTML for them all
Even made a homepage for my dog!
Yo! Got myself a fanny pack
they were having a sale down at the GAP
Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap
POP POP! Hope no one sees me gettin’ freaky!
I’m nerdy in the extreme and whiter than sour creme
I was in AV club and Glee club and even the chess team!
Only question I ever thought was hard
Was do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?
I spend every weekend
at the renaissance fair
I got my name on my under wear!
They see me strollin’
They laughin’
And rollin’ their eyes ’cause
I’m so white n’ nerdy
Just because I’m white n’ nerdy
Just because I’m white n’ nerdy
All because I’m white n’ nerdy
Holy cow I’m white n’ nerdy
I wanna bowl with-
the gangsters
but oh well it’s obvious I’m
white n’ nerdy
Think I’m just too white n’ nerdy
Think I’m just too white n’ nerdy
I’m just too white n’ nerdy
Look at me I’m white n’ nerdy!
My parody of blink-182’s “First Date.” To the tune of First Date, of course.
In the cab, I just can’t wait
To pick you up for your courtroom date
Is it cool if I cuff your hands?
Is it wrong if I tell you where we stand?
Is that how you’re gonna have your hair?
They’ll say you’re guilty if that’s what you’re gonna wear
I’m too nervous about what they’ll think
‘Cuz I’m a lawyer who has never been beat
Let’s go, don’t wait, this trial’s almost over
Honest, don’t let this thing last forever
Forever and ever, don’t let this last forever
Forever and ever, don’t let this last forever
The press goes crazy as we walk inside
They only want to waste a minute of your time
I really wish it was only me and you
I wish they’d throw those losers right out of the room
Please look at the jury with those eyes
They’ll never think that you’re capable of lies
We all know that you really killed that kid,
Let’s make ’em think that that isn’t what you did
Let’s go, don’t wait, this trial’s almost over
Honest, don’t let this thing last forever
Forever and ever, don’t let this last forever
Forever and ever, don’t let this last forever
Let’s go, don’t wait, this trial’s almost over
Honest, don’t let this thing last forever
Forever and ever, don’t let this last forever
Forever and ever, don’t let this last forever
Forever and ever, don’t let this last forever
Forever and ever, don’t let this last forever
Sling us a web, you’re the Spider Man, by Weird Al
(Parody of “Piano Man”)
Poor Peter Parker was pitiful
Couldn’t have been any shier
Mary Jane still wouldn’t notice him
Even if his hair was on fire
But then one day he went to that science lab
That mutated spider came down
Oh and now Peter crawls over everyone’s walls
And he’s swingin’ all over town
La la la didy dah
La la lily da da dum
Sling us a web you’re the Spiderman
Sling us a web tonight
‘Cause we’re all in the mood for a hero now
And there’s evil-doers to fight
Now Harry the rich kid’s a friend of his
Who horns in on Mary Jane
But to his great surprise
It seems she prefers guys
Who can kiss up-side down in the rain
“With great power comes great responsibility”
That’s the catch phrase of old Uncle Ben
If you missed it, don’t worry they’ll say the line
Again and again and again
La la la didy dah
La la didy da da dum
Now Norman’s a billionaire scientist
Who never had time for his son
And then somthin’ went screwy
And before you knew he
was trying to kill everyone
Then he’d ridin’ around on that glider-thing
And he’d throw in that weird pumpkin bomb
Yes, he’s wearin’ that dumb Power Rangers mask
But he’s scarier without it on
*harmonica*
Sling us a web you’re the Spiderman
Sling us a web tonight
‘Cause you’re brave and you’re strong and so limber now
But where’d you come up with those tights
It’s a pretty sad day at the funeral
Norman Osbourne has bitten the dust
And I heard Harry said he wants Spiderman dead
Ah but his buddy Pete he can trust
Oh and M.J. is all hot for Peter now
Ah but Peter he just shuts her down
Mary Jane don’t you cry, you can give it a try
Again when the sequel comes around
La la la didy dah
La la didy da da dum
Sling us a web you’re the Spiderman
Sling us a web tonight
‘Cause we all sure could use us a hero now
We think that you’ll do alright
Joy to the world!
Cuz Barney’s dead
We BAR BE QUED his HEAD!
Don’t worry bout the body
We flushed it down the potty
And around and around it goes
Until the house explodes
Jo-OY to the wrold
Cuz BARNney’s DEAD!
Classic. Then, me and my friend’s version of Jingle Bells-
Dashin through the snow
On a pair of broken skis
Over the hills we go
Crashin into trees!
The snow is turning red
I think I lost my head
I woke up in the hospital
The doctor said I’m dead!
OH! Jingle bells,
Batman smells,
Chicken laid an egg
Batmobile lost a wheel,
And the Joker played ballet!
Batman in the kitchen
Robin in the hall
Joker in the bathroom
Peeing on the wall!
And then something else goes there, I’m not sure what. The reason it is “Chicken laid an egg” is that my name is Robin, and, well, bad experience with name calling…))
To the tune of “Frosty the Snowman”:
Otzi the iceman
Was an ancient, frozen soul.
With a copper ax and some blue tatoos
And some snowshoes shaped like bowls
It must have been quite a surprise
When the hikers Otzi found
They screamed until their cheeks were red
And kept running around
Otzi the iceman
Had long since passed away
So they all said “Run and tell everyone
We’ll be on the news today!”
Down in the village
All the experts made a plan
“We’ll send a chopper to that ledge
And bring down the iceman!”
They rushed him down
The streets of town
In, past the museum shop
And since that day in ’91, our learning’s never stopped
Otzi the iceman’s
Stuff is now on display
And the folks walk by and you hear them sigh
“Oh, those far-off ancient days.”
i had a love that was so bright.
I used to dream of her each night
and then rush to her side every morning(OOOOOO)
i had her all to myself, we never noticed anyone else.
we didn’t even hear the radio warnings,
Our love was no joke, you know it was the talk of downtown Tokyo,
we’ll be happy forever i promised her,
but just as i proposed, her feet were made to touch her nose as she was crushed
by a Japanese monster.
ahhh, ahhh, ahhhh, AHHHHHH GODZILA!
CHORUS:
Our love was so true, but now shes 3″2,
and she used to be 5″11
her death was unintentional, but now shes 2 dimentional
my angel is truly in heaven.
she was the one i kissed and hugged ’till she was crushed like a bug
i guess its hard to see a monster above you,
she said she’d save her heart for me, but now its there for all to see,
and her last words to me were i lo-AHHHHHH!
CHORUS
take it george!
(guitar solo)
she was young(so young)
and sweet(so sweet)
but now shes part(shes part)
of the street(the street)
and i want (so much) to have her back (come back)
so i’ll take a putty knife so I can scrape her from the cracks…
(oh. we might need a wire brush)
CHORUS
my angel is truly in heaven
my angel is truly in he-A-ven
THE ONLY WEIRD AL SONG I CAN THINK OF THAT NO ONE HAS ALREADY DONE. “THE NIGHT SANTA WENT CRAZY”
WEIRD AL YANKOVIC (no reindeer were harmed in the making of this song)
Down in the workshop, all the elves are makin’ toys,
for the good gentle girls, and the good gentle boys.
When the boss busted in, and he scared ’em half to death,
had a rifle in his hands, cheap whiskey on his breath. From his beard to his boots, he was covered with ammo, like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yultide Rambo. And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye, “Merry christmas to all! Now yer all gonna die!!
The night Santa went crazy,
the night St. Nick went insane
he realized he was gettin the RAW deal.
Something finally musta’ snapped in his brain.
Well the workshop is gone now. He decided to bomb it.
Everywhere you’ll find pieces of Cupid and Comet.
And he tied up his helpers, and he held the elves hostage.
And he ground up poor Rudolph into–reindeer sausage!
He got Dancer and Prancer, with an old German Luger,
And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddie Krueger,
and he picked up a flamethrower, and he barbecued Blitzer,
and he took a big bite, he said “It tastes just like chicken!!”
The night Santa went crazy.
The night Kris Kringle went nuts.
Now you cant hardly walk around the north pole,
without steppin in reindeer guts.
Theres the National Guard and the FBI,
theres a van from the Eyewitness news,
and helicopters circlin’ round the skies
And the bullets are flyin’ the body counts’ risin’ and
everyons dying to know, “Oh, Santa why?”
My, my, my, my, my, my. He used to be such a jolly guy.
Its Virginia, now Santa’s doin time.
In a federal prison, for his infamous crime.
Now little friend, doncha cry no more tears.
With good behavior youll be out in seven hundred more years.
But now Vixen’s in therepy, and Donner’s still nerveous,
The elves all got jobs workin for the postal service,
And Mrs. Claus, she’s on the phone every night, with a lawer workin out the movie rights!
The night Santa went crazy.
The night St. Nicholas flipped.
Broke his back for some milk and cookies.
Sounds to me like he was gettin gypped.
Hilarious song by Weird Al Yankovic. Look it up on YouTube, it’s so much funnier with the music, although it’s about ten minutes long. I don’t think it’s actually a parody of anything, but maybe it is.
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs
In the corner of the basement of the house
Half a block down the street from Jerry’s Bait Shop
You know the place
Well anyway, back then life was going swell
And everything was just peachy
Except of course for the undeniable fact
That every single morning my mother
Would make me a big ol’ bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast
Dawww!! Big bowl of sauerkraut
Every single mornin’! It was driving me crazy
I said to my mom, I said
Hey, mom, what’s up with all the sauerkraut
And my dear, sweet mother
She just looked at me
Like a cow looks at an oncoming train
And she leaned right down next to me and she said
It’s good for you
And then she tied me to the wall
And stuck a funnel in my mouth
And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut
Until I was 26 and a half years old
That’s when I swore that someday
Someday I would get outta that basement
And travel to a magical, far away place
Where the sun is always shining
And he air smells like warm root beer
And the towels are oh so fluffy
Where the shriners and the lepers
Play their ukuleles all day long
And anyone on the street
Will gladly shave your back for a nickel
Wacka wacka, doo doo, yeah
Well, let me tell you, people
It wasn’t long at all before my dream came true
Because the very next day
A local radio station had this contest to see
Who could correctly guess the number of molecules
In Leonard Nimoy’s butt
I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize
That’s right, a first class, one-way ticket
To Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!
Oh yeah
You know
I’d never been on a real airplane before
And I gotta tell ya, it was really great
Except that I had to sit between
Two large Albanian women
With excruciatingly severe body odor
And the little kid in back of me
Kept throwin’ up the whole time
The flight attendants ran out
Of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts
And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore
And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out
And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside
And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died
Except for me, you know why
‘Cause I had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Ah-ha-ha-ha. Ah-ha-ha. Aahhh
So I crawled from the twisted, burnin’ wreckage
I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days
Draggin’ along my big leather suitcase
And my garment bag and my tenor saxophone
And my 12-pound bowlin’ ball
And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel
But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn
Where the towels are oh so fluffy
And you can eat your soup
Right out of the ashtrays if you wanna
It’s OK, they’re clean.
Well, I checked into my room, and I turned down the A/C
And I turned on the SpectraVision
And I’m just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my
Pillow that I love so very, very much
When suddenly there’s a knock on the door
Well, now, who could that be?
I say, Who is it? No answer
Who is it? There’s no answer
Who is it!? They’re not sayin’ anything
So finally, I go over and I open the door
And just as I suspected
It’s some big, fat hermaphrodite
With a flock of seagulls haircut, and only one nostril
Oh, man, I hate it when I’m right
So, anyway, he bursts into my room
And he grabs my lucky snorkel, and I’m like
Hey, you can’t have that
That snorkel’s been just like a snorkel to me
And he’s like, Tough!
And I’m like, Give it!
And he’s like, Make me!
And I’m like, ‘kay!
So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus
And I bit off his ear
And he chewed off my eyebrows
And I took out his appendix
And he gave a colonic irrigation, yes indeed
You better believe it
And somehow in the middle of it all
The phone got knocked off the hook
And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice
And you know what it said?
I’ll tell ya what it said!
It said, If you’d like to make a call
Please hang up and try again.
If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator
If you’d like to make a call, please hang up and try again
If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator
In Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!
Well, to cut a long story short
He got away with my snorkel
But I made a solemn vow right then and there
That I would not rest, I would not sleep for an instant
Until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice.
But first, I decided to buy some donuts
So I got in my car and I drove over to the donut shop
And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter
And he says Yeah, what do ya want?
I said You got any glazed donuts?
He said No, we’re outta glazed donuts
I said Well, you got any jelly donuts?
He said No, we’re outta jelly donuts
I said You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?
He said No, we’re outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts
I said You got any cinnamon rolls?
He said No, we’re outta cinnamon rolls
I said You got any apple fritters?
He said No, we’re outta apple fritters
I said You got any bear claws?
He said Wait a minute, I’ll go check
No, we’re outta bear claws
I said Well, in that case – in that case, what do you have?
He says All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels
I said okay I’ll take that
So he hands me the box
And I open up the lid
And the weasels jump out
And they immediately latch onto my face
And start bitin’ me all over
Oh, man, they were just goin’ nuts
They were tearin’ me apart
You know, I think it was just about that time
That a little ditty started goin’ through my head
I believe it went a little somethin’ like this:
DOH! Get ’em off me! Get ’em off me
Ohhh! No, get ’em off, get ’em off
Oh, oh God, oh God! Oh, get ’em off me
Oh, oh God! Ah
AaaaaaahhhhhhhhhOhhhhhhhhhh
I ran out into the street
With these flesh-eating weasels all over my face
Wavin’ my arms all around and just runnin’
Runnin’, runnin’, runnin’ like a constipated wiener dog
And as luck would have it
That’s exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams
Her name was Zelda
She was a caligraphy enthusiast
With a slight overbite
And hair the color of strained peaches
I’ll never forget the very first thing she said to me
She said, Hey, you’ve got weasels on your face
That’s when I knew it was true love
We were inseparable after that
Aw, we ate together
We bathed together
We even shared the same piece
Of mint-flavored dental floss
The world was our burrito
So we got married
And we bought us a house
And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly
Oh we were so very, very, very happy, oh yeah.
But then, one fateful night, Zelda said to me
She said, Sweetie pumpkin?
Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?
I said, Woah!
Hold on now, baby!
I’m just not ready for that kind of a commitment!
So we broke up, and I never saw her again
But that’s just the way things go
In Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!
Anyway, things really started lookin’ up for me
Because about a week later
I finally achieved my lifelong dream
That’s right, I got me a part-time job at the Sizzler
I even made employee of the month
After I put out that grease fire with my face
Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that
I was gettin’ a lot of attitude
OK, like one time
I was out in the parkin’ lot
Tryin’ to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil
When I see this guy Marty
Tryin’ to carry a big ol’ sofa up the stairs all by himself
So I-I say to him, I say
Hey, you want me to help you with that?
And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes, No
I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw!
So I did.
And then he gets all indignant on me.
He’s like, Hey, man
I was just being sarcastic
Well, that’s just great
How was I supposed to know that
I’m not a mind reader, for cryin’ out loud
Besides, now he’s got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy
So what’s he complaining about
Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote
This guy comes up to me on the street
And he tells me he hasn’t had a bite in three days
Well, I knew what he meant
But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein
And he’s yelling and screaming and bleeding all over
And I’m like, hey, come on
Don’tcha get it
But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk
Bleeding and screaming, Aaaahhhh!
AaaaahhhhOhhhhh! Aaaaahhhh!
You know
Completely missing the irony of the whole situation
Man, some people just can’t take a joke, you know
Anyway, um…um…where was I
Kinda lost my train of thought
Uh, well, uh, OK, anyway
I-I know it’s kind of a roundabout way of saying it
But, I guess the whole point I’m tryin’ to make here is
I hate sauerkraut!
That’s all I’m really tryin’ to say. And, by the way
If one day you happen to wake up
And find yourself in an existential quandry
Full of loathing and self-doubt
And wracked with the pain
And isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence
At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing
That somewhere out there
In this crazy ol’ mixed-up universe of ours
There’s still a little place, called Albuquerque!
SFTDP.
44- My cousins forced that upon me for a week, and now I’m sick of it.
A good friend (who, ironically, is in another school, and I see maybe about once a month for GS) told me this ridiculous parody for Keys to the Kingdom, by Garth Nix. I can’t remember the whole thing but I rememer this much-
On the first day of Christmas,
Garth Nix gave to me-
A house full of Trustees!
YAY!
Okay, I will upload the two I wrote. They are both about food. The second one is better than the first one, but they’re far from perfect.
House of Fruit (parody of House of Wolves by My Chemical Romance)
I know a thing about nutrition
Because the calories in pears
Have much more in their mission
Than oranges, ya see there
Well I said, hey-hey don’t you buy that
It’s an avocado, kid
You better get something with less fat
Or you’re gonna wish you did!
Well I bet the rotten fruit won’t sell
Everybody likes the fresh ones any –
WAY! Go down this way
This aisle’s 10 percent off
Think of how you’ll save
I will restock nearly every Tuesday
This aisle’s 10 percent off
Think of how you’ll save…
People come ‘round every week an’ grocery stores are jealous
They wish instead of here, the customers would come to them fellows!
Well I said, Come on, it’s not so bad just because I earn more money
I said, Come on, why don’t you guys stop acting so funny?
Well I bet the rotten fruit won’t sell
Everybody likes the fresh ones any –
WAY! Go down this way
This aisle’s 10 percent off
Think of how you’ll save
I will restock nearly every Tuesday
This aisle’s 10 percent off
Think of how you’ll save…
You better hurry over here ‘cause the berries are buy two get one free
You better buy some fruit and they’ll taste great, you’ll see
And as you running through the door
You just wish you’d bought some more
I’ve been a pretty awesome salesman – delivered fruit? – yep I will mail them
Anyway, go down this way
This aisle’s 10 percent off
Think of how you’ll save
I will restock nearly every Tuesday
This aisle’s 10 percent off
Think of how you’ll save…
Think of how you’ll save save save save save
Think of how you’ll save save save save save
Think of how you’ll save save save save save
Think of how you’ll save save save save save!!!!!!!!!
Pie Is Over (parody of Sky Is Over by Serj Tankian)
Everybody knows
Everybody knows
That you crave the whipped cream
Living in the hunger
Pie is over
Can’t you hear my stomach grumble?
Nearly starving, start to mumble
Even though there’s no dessert
The pie is over
Even though there’s no dessert
The pie is over
Someone out there might get hurt
The pie is over
Even though there’s no dessert
The pie is over
Behind closed doors lie
The pies ready to be eaten too
Are you starving with me
And all of my dinnermates
Your not-so-gentle persuasion
Has been known to get you anything
But somehow, but tonight, the pie is over
Can’t you hear my stomach grumble?
Nearly starving, start to mumble
lalala lalalalalala
lalala lalalalalala
Not even for the cream (lalala lalalalalala)
Not even for the cream (lalala lalalalalala)
Not even for the cream
Don’t you want me to eat?
Even though there’s no dessert
The pie is over
Even though there’s no dessert
The pie is over
Someone out there might get hurt
The pie is over
Even though there’s no dessert
The pie is over
Someone out there might get hurt
The pie is over
Even though there’s no dessert
The pie is over
Someone out there might get hurt
The pie is over
Even though there’s no dessert
The pie is over
The pie is over…ugh
(It’s about someone who would normally call out for dessert, but for some reason he isn’t, and everyone else is starving and wants their pie but he doesn’t ask for it. If that makes sense. I think I posted this on the Song Lyrics thread, too.)
I actually began this one here with help from Administrator Coontz.
Victor Von Doom
Gather ’round while I sing you of Victor Von Doom
The man from Latveria
With a cast-iron exterior.
Displaying his brilliance takes plenty of room,
So he longs for world conquest, does Victor Von Doom.
All his evil plans so drastic
Are ruined by those four fantastic
“When their rocket went up, I wish they’d gone boom!”
“But someday I’ll get them.” says Victor Von Doom
But if you’re woried about our heroes
Remember that Vic’s one of those zeroes
“All of my plans bring me nothing but gloom.”
“I’m really a failure.” says Victor Von Doom.
I wrote the first verse and then later added this one:
“Vic has good reason to wallow in gloom.
What makes him most mis’able
Is a woman invisible.
Since Sue and Reed Richards became bride and groom,
He’s sworn to possess her for Victor Von Doom.â€
Trapped In The Drive-Thru, by Weird Al (Parody of Trapped in the Closet, by R. Kelly)
Seven O’Clock in the evening
Watchin somethin’ stupid on TV
I’m zoned out on the sofa
When my wife comes in the room and sees me
She says “Is this ‘Behind the Music’
With Lynard Skynard?”
And I say “I don’t know.
Say, it’s gettin’ late…watcha wanna do for dinner?
She says “I kinda had a big lunch.
So I’m not super hungry.”
I said “Well you know, baby, I’m not starvin’ either
But I could eat.”
She said “So whadya have in mind?”
I said “I don’t know, what about you?”
She said “I don’t care–if you’re hungry, let’s eat.”
I said “That’s what we’re gonna do!”
“But first you gotta tell me
What it is you’re hungry for!”
And she says “Let me think…
…What’s left in our refrigerator?”
I said “Well, there’s tuna, I know.”
She said “That went bad a week ago!”
I said “Is the chili okay?”
She said “You finished that yesterday!”
I hopped up and I said
“I don’t know, do you want to get something delivered?”
She’s like “Why would I want to eat liver?
I don’t even like liver!”
I’m like “No, I said ‘delivered’.”
She’s like “I heard you say liver!”
I’m like “I should know what I said…”
She’s like “Whatever, I just don’t want any liver!”
Well I was gonna say something
But my cell phone started to ring
Now who could be callin’ me?
Well I checked my caller I.D.
It was just cousin Larry
Callin’ for the third time today…
My wife said “Let it go to voicemail.”
I said, “Okay.”
“Where were we? Oh, Dinner, Right
So what d’ya want to do?”
She said “Why don’t you whip up somethin in the kitchen?”
“Yeah,” I said, “Why don’t you?”
And then she said “Baby, can’t we just go out to dinner, please?”
I says “No”
She says “Yes”
I says “No”
She says “Yes”
I says “No”
She says “Yes…
…oh, here’s your keys”
I step a little bit closer
Say “OK, where you want to go?”
She says “How about The Ivy?”
I said “Yeah, well I don’t know…”
I don’t feel like gettin’ all dressed up
And eatin’ expensive food
She’s says “Olive Garden?”
I say “Nah, I’m not in the mood…
…And Burrito King would make me gassy
There’s no doubt”
She says “Just forget about it”
I said “No, I swear I’m gonna take you out!”
Then I get an idea
I says “I know what we’ll do!”
She says “What?”
I say “Guess”
She says “WHAT?”
I say “We’re going to the drive-thru!”
So we head out the front door
Open the garage door
Then I open the car doors
And we get in those car doors
Put my key in the ignition
And then I turn it sideways
Then we fasten our seat belts
As we pull out the driveway
Then we drive to the drive-thru
Heading off to the drive-thru
We’re approaching the drive-thru
Getting close to the drive-thru!
Almost there at the drive-thru
Now we’re here at the drive thru
Here in line at the drive-thru
Did I mention the drive-thru?
Well here we are
In the drive-thru line, me and her.
Cars in front of us, cars in back of us.
All just waiting to order
There’s some idiot in a Volvo
With his brights on behind me
I lean out the window and scream
“Hey, whatcha tryin’ to do, blind me?”
My wife says “Maybe we should park…
…We could just go eat inside.”
I said “I’m wearin’ bunny slippers
So I ain’t leavin’ this ride…”
Now a woman on a speaker box
Is sayin’ “Can I take your order, please?”
I said “Yes indeed, you certainly can
We’d like two hamburgers with onions and cheese.”
Then my wife says
“Baby, hold on, I’ve changed my mind!
I think I’m gonna have a chicken sandwich
Instead, this time”
I said “You always get a cheeseburger!”
She says “That’s not what I’m hungry for.”
I put my head in my hands and screamed,
“I don’t know who you are anymore!”
The voice on the speaker says
“I don’t have all day!”
I said “Then, take our order,
And we’ll be on our way!
I wanna get a chicken sandwich
And I want a cheeseburger, too
She’s like “You want onions on that?”
I’m like “Yeah, I already said that I do…
…Plus we need curly fries
And don’t you dare forget it!
And two medium root beers
No, just one, we’ll split it.”
Then I said “I’m guessin’ that
You’re probably not too bright…
So read me back my order
Let’s make sure you got it right.”
She says “One, you want a chicken sandwich.
Two, you want a cheeseburger
Three, curly fries, and a large root beer”
“Stop, don’t go no further!”
“I never ordered a large rootbeer
I said medium, not large!”
Then she says “We’re havin’ a special,
I supersized you at no charge.”
“Oh.” And that’s all
I could say, was “Oh.”
And she says “Now there is something else
That I really think you should know.
You can have unlimited refills
For just a quarter more…”
I say “Great, except we’re in the drive thru…
So what would I want that for?”
Then she says “Wait a minute
Your voice sounds so familiar…hey, is this Paul?
And my wife is all like “No, that ain’t Paul,
Now tell me, who’s this Paul?
She says “Oh, he’s just some guy
Who goes to school with me.
I sat behind him last year
And I copied off him in Geometry.
I said “I know a guy named Paul.
He used to be my plumber
He was prematurely bald
And he moved to Pittsburgh last summer.
He also had bladder problems
And a really bad infection on his toe.”
And she said “Mister, please, you can stop right there,
That’s way more than I needed to know!”
And then we both were quiet
And things got real intense
Then she says “NEXT WINDOW PLEASE,
THAT’LL BE FIVE DOLLARS AND EIGHTY TWO CENTS.”
So we inched ahead in line
Movin’ painfully slow
I got a little bored
So I turned on the radio…
*very loud rock music plays*
*click* Turned it off
Because my wife was getting a headache
So we both just sat there quietly
For her sake.
Then I looked at her
And she looked back at me
And I said “Um,
I think you have somethin’ in your teeth.”
She turned away from me
And then turned back and said “Did I get it?”
I said “Yeah. Well, I mean, most of it…
But hey, ya know, don’t sweat it.”
Then she said “How about now?”
I said “Yeah, almost.
There’s still a little bit there
But don’t worry, it’s probably just a piece of toast.”
Now we’re at the pay window
Or whatever you call it
Put my hand in my pocket
I can’t believe there’s no wallet!
And the lady at the window’s like,
“Well, well that’ll be $5.82.”
I turn around to my wife, and say
“How much have you got on you?”
She just rolls her eyes and says
“I’ll pay for this, I guess.”
So she reaches into her purse
And pulls out the American Express
I hand it to the lady
And she says “Oh, dear.
It’s gotta be cash only
We don’t take credit cards here.”
I took back the card and said
“Gee, really? Well that sucks.”
And that’s when I found out
My wife was only carryin’ three bucks.
I said “I thought you were
Going to hit the ATM today”
She says “I never got around to it
So where’s your wallet anyway?
And I said “Nevermind,
Just help me to find some change…”
Now the lady at the window
Is lookin’ at me kinda strange…
And she says “Mister, please,
We gotta move this line along”
I said “Now hold your stinkin’ horses lady,
We won’t be long.”
We looked around inside the glove-box
And check the mat beneath my feet
I found a nickel in the ashtray
And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the seats
Before long I had a little pile
Of coins of every sort
The lady counts it up and says
“You’re still about a dollar short”
And now my woman’s got this weird look
Frozen on her face
She screams, “you know
I wasn’t even really hungry in the first place”
And so I turned around
To the cashier again
I shrugged and said “Okay,
Forget the chicken sandwich then”
So I pick up my change
Pick up my receipt
And I drive to the pickup window
Man, I just can’t wait to eat
And now we see this acne ridden
Kid about sixteen
Wearin’ a dorky name tag that says
“Hello, my name is Eugene.”
And he hands me a paper bag
I look him in the eyes
And I say to him “Hey, Eugene,
Can I get some ketchup for my fries?”
Well he looks at me
And I look at him
And he looks at me
And I look at him
And he looks at me
And I look at him
And he says “I’m sorry
What did you want again?”
I say “Ketchup!”
And he says “Oh yeah, that’s right…
…I just spaced out there for a second
I’m really kind of burnt tonight.”
And then he hands me the ketchup
And now we’re finally drivin’ away
And the food is drivin’ me mad
With its intoxicating bouquet
I’m starvin’ to death
By the time we pull up at the traffic light
I say “Baby, gimme that burger,
I just gotta have a bite!”
So she reaches in the bag
And pulls out the burger
And she hands me the burger
And I pick up the burger
And then I unwrap the paper
I bite into those buns
And I just can’t believe it
They forgot the onions!
I have always thought in the back of my mind, “Cheese and Onions”.
I have always thought that the world was unkind, “Cheese and Onions”.
Do I have to spell it out ?
“C-H-E-E-S-E A-N-D O-N-I-O-N-S”, oh no.
Man or machine (Man or machine) Keep yourself clean (Keep yourself clean)
Or be a has-been (Ah-ah) Like Dinosaur, oh oh-oh.
Man of advise (Man of advise) For ev’rything nice (Ev’rything nice)
You’d better think twice (Ah-ah) At least once more, oh oh.
performed by The Rutles* in “All You Need is Cash”
I wrote one when I was supposed to write a book report for school…
PICTURES OF HOLLIS WOODS SPOILER.
Pictures of Hollis Woods
by muselover
To the tune of “American Pie”
A long, long time ago
When gas still cost $2 a gallon
Hollis Woods was mad
She got stuck with Josie Cahill
And her love for her was off the scale
But there was still something very sad
Josie was old, and forgetful
She knew this fact, so she was fretful
Hollis knew if the mustard
woman found out she’d be flustered
She’d move Josie into a home
And Hollis would be on the roam
Hollis knew that she’d be lone-ly
So they ran away
Oh why, why, little Hollis Woods why
Did you ever leave the Regans, don’t you know that they cried
They looked for you, till they gave up and sighed,
Saying “She left because she made us fight,â€
“She left because she made us fightâ€
47- I’m going to ask her at the next GS meeting to email the song to me. Then I’ll post it here. Garth Nix fans UNITE! *does secret “Garth-Nix-ROX MY SOX” handshake*
Okay, I think Crazy Titan Nerd will enjoy this one I did a while ago to the tune of “Summer Nights (Tell Me More)” from Grease:
Saturn Nights (Tell Me More).
Reporters:
Saturn visit, had me a blast
But Voyager, went by so fast
And those photos stirred something in me
Saw those moons, cool as can be
V’ger days, all gone away, ooh, but now Cassini nights
Spokesperson:
The press conference will begin now.
Reporters:
Wa wa wa-
Tell me more, tell me more
Is it really that far?
Tell me more, tell me more
From where we are?
Spokesperson:
Nine point five AU
‘Way from the sun
In ’97, the mission begun
29 years, for Saturn to go ’round
And in water, it would not drown
(It would float!)
Sixth from the sun, Cassini’s begun oh, oh the Saturn nights
Wa wa wa-
Reporters:
Tell me more, tell me more
What makes those rings?
Tell me more, tell me more
Yes, what kind of things?
Spokesperson:
Bits of rock, and bits of ice
This is Titan, isn’t it nice?
Oh, this job, it really rocks
They’ll be more pictures, at ten o’clock
Saturn’s rings, what gorgeous things, and oh, oh the Saturn nights
The first thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
Is finding a Christmas tree
The second thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Angry husband: Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree
The third thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
Man getting over being drunk: Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree
The fourth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
Exhausted man: Sending Christmas cards
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree
The fifth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
Five months of bills!
Sending Christmas cards
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree
The sixth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Nervous wife: Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills!
Oh, I hate those Christmas cards!
Hangovers
Rigging up these lights!
And finding a Christmas tree
The seventh thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Nervous wife’s husband: The Salvation Army
Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills!
Sending Christmas cards
Oh, geez!
I’m tryin’ to rig up these lights!
And finding a Christmas tree
The eighth thing at Christmas that such a pain to me:
Whining kid: I WANNA TRANSFORMER FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!
Charities,
And whataya mean “YOUR in-laws”?!?
Five months of bills!
Oh, making out these cards
Honey, get me a beer, huh?
What, we have no extension cords?!?
And finding a Christmas tree
The ninth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
A tired father: Finding parking spaces
DADDY, I WANT SOME CANDY!!!!
Donations!
Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills!
Writing out those Christmas cards
Hangovers!
Now why the hell are they blinking?!?!?
And finding a Christmas tree
The tenth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
A mother: “Batteries Not Included”
No parking spaces
BUY ME SOMETHIN’!!!
Get a job, ya bum!
Oh, facing my in-laws!
Five months of bills!
Yo-ho, sending Christmas cards
Oh, geez, look at this!
One light goes out, they ALL go out!!!
And finding a Christmas tree
The eleventh thing of Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
A male couch potato: Stale TV specials
“Batteries Not Included”
No parking spaces
DAD, I GOTTA GO TA BATHROOM!!
Charities!
She’s a witch…I hate her!
Five months of bills!
Oh, I don’t even KNOW half these people!
Oh, who’s got the toilet paper, huh?
Get a flashlight…I blew a fuse!!
And finding a Christmas tree
The twelfth thing of Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Two men: Singing Christmas carols
Stale TV specials
“Batteries Not Included”
No parking?!?
WAAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAAH!
Charities!
Gotta make ’em dinner!
Five months of bills!
I’m not sendin’ them this year, that’s it!
Shut up, you!
FINE! YOU’RE SO SMART, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!!!
And finding a Christmas tree!
The Mean Bunny Song, a parody of the Mean Kitty Song.
I got this little bunny and I named him Dave
He was the nicest little bunny, but now I’m his slave
This little bunny is pink like a pink jelly bean
This little bunny is evilus you know what I mean
He’s an evil little bunny, tries to bite off my hands
Tries to make me a zombie any way that he can
I could give him a toy, but he’d rather have the world
It’s a matter of time before his plans unfurl
You could shoot him with a laser and he just won’t care
Bunny blew up my table, my couch, and my chair
Always zombifying people or just killing them dead
And freaking people out by detaching his head
He’s so full of venom and easily made mad
Adopting him, that idea was bad
Little Dave attacks humans at the slightest provocation
Renamed him William, King Of Bunny Nations
Hey little Willy what is with all the fight
Little bitty bunny wanna bite bite bite
Hey little Willy what is with all the fight
Little bitty bunny wanna zombify
Hey little Willy what is with all the fight
Little bitty bunny wanna bunnify
Hey little Willy what is with all the fight
Little bitty bunny wanna bite
Where’d you go
Are you stalking me?
Are you in your secret lair, quite possibly?
Ears pricked up so I’ll get caught
Ready to leap with everything that you got
I know you’re probably watching me from across the room
Concentrating contemplating on zombifying me soon
You’re not invisible bunny, I’m gonna find you first
Come out come out before I make things worse
I’ve seen where you hide and I know where you’ve been
Hey bunny why don’t you give in
Even if you try to sneak up on me, I’m prepared
I’ve got my waltz music on and I’m not scared
I think I hear an HPB under the bed
I know you’re making noises just to mess with my head
You can chase me all you want, but I’ll get away
You always seem to find me first, but not today
Hey little Willy what is with all the fight
Little bitty bunny wanna bite bite bite
Hey little Willy what is with all the fight
Little bitty bunny wanna zombify
Hey little Willy what is with all the fight
Little bitty bunny wanna bunnify
Hey little Willy what is with all the fight
Little bitty bunny wanna bite
I’ve got him cornered
And now he’s mine
Gonna get depigmentized this time
I’ll snatch him up fast before he can blink and then…
Aw man! He’s escaped down the sink
What is with this bunny? I’m confused
He’s got a bed but it’s never been used
In every waking moment, bunny’s out for the fight
And he escapes from me, either that or bite
How could I let this creature live inside of my home
Perhaps the shelter will take him, I’ll call them on the phone
I’m very afraid to leave this bunny alone
William will destroy everything that I own
Look in his eyes, I kinda feel strange
I can feel my body and mind start to change
I’ve got pink ears, white eyes, and I,
Feel a strange urge to BUNNIFY!
Hey little Willy what is with all the fight
Little bitty bunny wanna bite bite bite
Hey little Willy what is with all the fight
Little bitty bunny wanna zombify
Hey little Willy what is with all the fight
Little bitty bunny wanna bunnify
Hey little Willy what is with all the fight
Little bitty bunny wanna bite
I think it’s the asymmetry of the beats: Odd numbers and asymmetry in general seem to interfere with something in the bunnies’ brains. HPBs like things to come in multiples of two (2, 4, 8, 16, 32, etc.). It’s very deep-rooted in their nature and may have something to do with having two long ears. If a bunny loses one of its ears, its friends desert it and may even turn on it and destroy it.
Music in three-four time appears to be part of the same phenomenon. Depending on its volume, its effects may range from distracting to unbearable. Some lagopsychologists believe that it knocks out their higher brain functions, causing them to turn back into ordinary bunnies until the music stops. In any case, hot-pink bunnies flee from it if they can.
Fifty Years and Beyond, to the tune of American Pie. (Or The Saga Begins, if you prefer)
A long, long time ago
I still can remember how
Colliers mag would make me smile
And when AMBA got the chance
Our satellites would up there dance
We wouldn’t have to wait a long while.
But that October made us shiver
Challenge that those beeps delivered
And Vanguard on the launchpad.
The president was so sad.
I remember, my friends cried:
“Waa! Our dominance has died!â€
But I thought not of national pride
The day we learned to fly
I was singing…
Chorus:
My, my, oh just look at it fly!
See the light in the night
Oh, oh, way up so high!
And this small boy, looking to the sky
Said “I want to fly.â€
I said, “I want to fly.â€
This would become my greatest love
I wished that I could rise above
To float and climb and grow
I forgot ‘bout rock and roll
Sputnik captured my soul
Our response, it was not slow.
“Well, hurry it up Jim
‘Cause now it’s really sink or swim.
Hurry up, ground crews,
Or we’ll all sing the blues.â€
Would you believe, Explorer flew?
And dogs and monkeys up there, too.
It’s people next, I guess.
The day we learned to fly.
Chorus
Now for fifty years, we’ve held our own
I’m amazed how far we’ve flown
I’m glad it’s not like how it used to be
Cold warriors and ice queens
Injected fear into the dream
The hopes that belonged to you and me.
Oh, but when Apollo’s crews looked down
At our small home of blue and brown
We realized we were one
That’s how it must be done
‘Cause even those who followed Marx
Were celebrating in the parks
As Eagle landed in the dark
The day we learned to fly.
Chorus
Around the Earth, our shuttles trilled
But the world forgot until-
Tangled smoke, flaming debris
It all landed in the sea
The tiles in the grass
So many questions asked.
The leaders saw this recent doom
As a sign to change our tune
Improvements must be made
Oh, that’s what the disasters bade
But we’ll get back on the field
We’ve come too far to up and yield
Remember the speech revealed
The day we learned to fly.
Chorus
Oh, and we all came there to that place
For once again, we’d fly in space
Now time to start again
Fixed the problems, found the trick
Return to flight, get up there quick!
Let us feel the fire once again!
And I watched pad thirty-nine
The atmosphere was so sublime
Nothing in heaven or hell
Could break Discovery’s spell
The flames climbed high into the night
The Cape was bathed in brilliant light
We all laughed in wild delight
The day we learned to fly.
Chorus
So no more shall we sing the blues
Back to the moon’s the latest news
As if we’d never, ever turned away
They’re celebrating on that shore
Where Eleven took off, years before
Because this time we will be there to stay
In the workshops now they scheme
Once again we dream the dream
Though not a word is spoken
Our chains, they will be broken!
But the people I’ll admire most
Will be the first on Mars’ coast
Man, that will be quite a boast
The day we learned to fly.
Apollo Guys, to the tune of One Republic’s Apologize. Actually not written by me, if you can believe it:
Watching on the screen
Saturn V lifts off the ground
After many sims,
Flight control has got it down
You say that its not easy, but
Astronauts are all moonbound and wait
Were watching them on TV
Walking on the lunar ground and say
We did it, Apollo guys
We did iiiiit
In 1969
We landed (on. the. moon)
Well take another chance, take a shot
Do it all for you
Orion and Ares take us back
Back to the mooooon yeaaah yeaaah
Its time for us to move ahead
Having breakthroughs each daaay
The past we have to thank,
Our progress is because of yoooou
And we all say
We did it, Apollo guys
We did iiiiit
In 1969
We landed (on. the. moon)
We did it, Apollo guys
We did iiiiit
In 1969
We landed (on. the. moon)
We did it, Apollo guys, yeaaaah
In 1969, yeaaaah
Watching on the screen
Saturn V lifts off the ground.
My favorite parody of I Kissed A Girl! Grape and I (Spumoni and the rest of us had a falling out because she insulted Frosting’s mother!) made a music video on my phone with an orange! There’s only a chorus, though.
I kicked a squirrel
And I liked it!
It did a double backflip.
I kicked a squirrel
Just to try it!
I hope EPA doesn’t find it!
Muse Academy, based on the “Underground Tunnels” series of adventures on the Muse Academy RPG this past May-June. To the tune of Weird Al’s “Jurassic Park”:
I recall the time that Adeia found that old map.
And before long, we were talking to statues.
Now I’m being chased by a cannibalistic bunny
And I just really hope I don’t get chewed.
MA Park is frightening in the dark
And now we’re all lost underground
Someone’s down here with us, that is plain.
Big boulders just like Indy
And I think it’s getting windy
And we’ll never come back down here again
Ohhhhh no!
I must say I’ve got a small distraction
And fighting neo-Nazis always makes me kind of mad
And then inside a cave there was Darth Vader
So I’m thinking… “Oh my god, this day is really bad!”
MA Park is frightening in the dark
And now we’re all lost underground
Book baddies up to something once again
And now they’re out to harm us
And it really does alarm us
Good thing that Adeia’s found a cosmic friend
Ohhhh ohhhh!
*Instrumental*
MA Park is frightening in the dark
And now we’re all lost underground
What a hectic school day this has been
Sure didn’t want to meet ’em
But at least now that we’ve beat ’em
We can never, ever come back down here again!
Ohhhh no! Woah no!
After listening to to the musified version of ‘Mickey Mouse Club’, I wrote some more Museblog versions of Disney songs. Two of them are very incomplete having only the first line in one, and just the chorus in the second.
Blog First Post (to the tune of True Love’s Kiss (Enchanted))
I’ve been dreaming of a blog first post.
Just a Minute of Museblog (to the tune of Just a Spoon Full of Sugar (Mary Poppins)):
Just a minute of Museblog helps me do my schoolwork,
Do my schoolwork, do my schoolwork.
Just a minute of Museblog helps me do my schoolwork,
In a most productive way.
And, the only one which is totally complete, A Whole New Site (to the tune of A Whole New World (Aladdin));
I can show you the blog,
And all of its cool features.
Tell me, my friend,
Now when did you last throw a custard pie?
I can show you roleplays.
Alter ego threads, others,
All with most friendly people,
Spread the whole blog wide!
A whole new site,
A new fantastic set of friends
And when you’re mad it life
or just tired
you’ll have a place to go.
A whole new site.
A dazzling place to think of things.
And with all these friends
It never ends
I’ll always have a whole new site to view
(Always have a whole new site to view)
Unbelievable SCAMPs.
Indescribable GAPAs.
Moderating my posts
In just a brief minute or two!
A whole new site.
A hundred thousand things to do.
I’m like a shooting star,
I’ve come so far,
From all the sites where I used to be
(A whole new site)
Every thread a surprise.
(With new activities to pursue)
Every moment, new letters.
I’ll read it anywhere
I’ve time to spare
I’m glad you shared this whole new site with me.
A whole new site (repeat)
That’s where we’ll be (repeat)
A thrilling change
A wondrous place
For anyone.
Please don’t tell me parts of the last one are incredibly odd, I know. No, I don’t have the entire song memorized, I have it on my Ipod. (Yes I do. Yes, I am immature.)
The Beatles song parodies are cracking me up. A couple of my friends and I wrote a parody of “I Kissed a Girl” a while ago. . .
I kissed a squirrel
And I liked it
Its taste was acorn-tastic
I kissed a squirrel
Just to try it
I hope my mother don’t mind it
It looked so wrong
It felt so right
I hope I don’t contract rabies tonight
I kissed a squirrel
HEY!!!!
We also wrote a parody of “I Feel Fine” that I can’t remember.
Written by my friends, adapted by me:
HATE STORY (parody of Love Story by Taylor Swift).
We were both young when I first hurt you
I close my eyes and the flashback starts
I’m standing there
Where I beat you in the summer air
I see the lights, see the killers, the shotguns
See you make your way through the crowd to say “Goodbye”
Later, would I try
To kill you, Romeo? ‘Cause you were Romeo and you were throwin’ grenades
And my daddy said “Stay away from Juliet”
And I was laughing on the staircase, begging you “Please please go”
And I said
“Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone
I’ll be waiting with a dagger and a gun
You’ll be the deer and I’ll be the huntress
It’s a hate story, baby, just say yes”
So I sneak out to the garden to beat you
You keep quiet, cause you’re dead if I see you
Close your eyes
Cause you’ll be dead in a little while
Cause you were Romeo and I was comin’ to get you
And my daddy said “You’re gonna die today”
And I was laughing on the staircase, knowing that you can’t go
And I said
“Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone
I’ll be waiting with a dagger and a gun
You’ll be the deer and I’ll be the huntress
It’s a hate story, baby, just say yes.
Romeo, I hate you, don’t try to tell me how to feel
The fact is difficult, but it’s real
Yes, be afraid, cause you’re gonna die
It’s a hate story, baby, that’s it…. bye”
Well I got tired of waiting
Wondering if you were ever gonna die
My hate in you was… gaining
When I met you in the woods one dark night
And I said
“Romeo, finally, I’ve got you here all alone
I’ll kill you and they will never know
No one will help you, so don’t try to run”
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a gun
And said
“It’s your turn, Juliet, they’ll never hear you scream and shout
I’ll kill you and they’ll never find out
I talked to your dad, he said go ahead
It’s a hate story, baby, just say yes”
We were both young when he first shot me
Row, row, row your boat, Thesaurus style:
Propel, propel, propel you craft placidly down the liquid sollution. Extaticly, extaticly, extaticly existence is but an illusion.
It’s a jolly hour on the MuseBlog.(Parody of ‘It’s a jolly holiday with Mary’ from the movie ‘Mary Poppins’.)
It’s a jolly hour on the MuseBlog.
MuseBlog makes the bunnies so bright
When blogs are dumb and ordinary
MuseBlog makes them see what’s right!
Oh, colors are all blooming all around it
Mr. Joe is smiling at a glove!
When MuseBlog is on screen
You’re never mean
No wonder that It’s MuseBlog that we love!
Isn’t it a glorious blog?
With arguments of kitties and dogs?
I feel like I could RP!
Have you ever seen
A blog so un-mean?
It’s sweet litttle bunnies are crystal clear!
Oh, it’s a jolly hour on the MuseBlog!
No wonder that it’s Muse blog that we love!
This thread has died.
In an attempt to revive it, here’s one from Weird Al:
You’re Pitiful(parody of “You’re Beautiful”)
My life is brilliant
What, was I too early?
Oh, sorry… Should I – do you wanna start over, or…
Keep going? Okay… now? Now?
My life is brilliant
Your life’s a joke
You’re just pathetic
You’re always broke
Your homemade Star Trek uniform
Really ain’t impressin’ me
You’re sufferin’ from delusions of
Adequacy
You’re pitiful
You’re pitiful
You’re pitiful, it’s true
Never had a date
That you couldn’t inflate
And you smell repulsive too
What a bummer bein’ you
Well, you just can’t dance
And forget romance
Everybody you know still calls you…
Farty-Pants
But you’ll always have a job – well, I mean…
As long as you still can work that Slurpee machine
You’re pitiful
You’re pitiful
You’re pitiful, it’s true
You’re half-undressed
Eatin’ chips off your chest
While youre playin’ Halo 2
No one’s classier than you
La la la la, la la la la
La la la la loser
You’re pitiful
You’re pitiful
You’re pitiful, it’s true
Your dog would much rather play fetch by itself
You still live with your mom and you’re 42
Guess you’ll never grow a clue
Well, it just sucks to be you
When I realized High School Musical and Hubble Servcing Mission had the same initials, I just had to do this:
COSTAR (To the tune of “Start of Something New”)
(Two astronomers stand in spotlights on the dark stage. A screen behind them shows blurry images)
FIRST ASTRONOMER:
Living on this small world…
SECOND ASTRONOMER:
Couldn’t understand…
FIRST:
That all this would happen…
SECOND:
‘Cause we took the chance.
FIRST:
Who could’ve believed in
The glory we’d see?
SECOND:
Now it’s opened our eyes
To all these possibilities.
BOTH:
I know, that something has changed
Never saw this way
And right here, tonight
(Flash of light, screen changes to show newer, improved images)
This could be the start
Of something new
If this thing works
We’ll be glad, it’s true
And now, through robotic eyes
We’ll all do our part
And find so much new!
FIRST:
Now, who’d have ever thought that
Those boys would get it right
SECOND:
And the sky looks so much brighter
With COSTAR inside.
BOTH:
We know, that something has changed
Never seen this way
We know it for real
This could be the start,
Of something new
It feels so right
To see so true
And now, as we watch the skies
I feel in my heart
The start of something new
(First grabs up paper and rushes over to second, pointing)
FIRST:
And this is how it happens
In those galaxies
We didn’t know it before
But now it’s easy to see.
BOTH:
This is the start,
Of something new,
It feels so right,
To be here, it’s true
SAVE HUBBLE! (To the tune of “Status Quo”)
(People typing on laptops sit around a cafeteria, surrounded by small groups of other people. An individual who will be known here only as The Manager looks down from a raised eating area, surrounded by a few lackeys. )
THE MANAGER (Spoken):
…Simply too dangerous. There will NOT be any future servicing missions to the Hubble by astronauts, and that’s final. Maybe robots, but NO PEOPLE.
(One journalist stands up and begins reading what he has written as the music begins)
JOURNALIST:
You can bet
That all through the ‘net
This announcement’s caused a roll.
But I’ve got this confession-
My source in the profession
This guy’s in Flight Control.
PEOPLE:
Everybody, gather ’round.
(His group leans in closely.)
JOURNALIST (Spoken):
Well, my source says that if they do it right, it might not be so dangerous.
PEOPLE (Spoken):
What?
JOURNALIST (Spoken):
They could do it safely! If they kept another shuttle on the pad…
LACKEYS:
Not another sound!
JOURNALIST (Spoken):
In an emergency, they could do an orbiter-to-orbiter transfer!
LACKEYS: (Glaring at the Journalist)
No, no, no, noooooo!
No, no, no.
The Manager better knows.
If you wanna be cool
Then his plan is the rule.
Don’t mess with the flow, no, no.
Stick to the status quo!
(The journalist goes back to typing, while a woman holding a small model robot written on it in large letters stands up to read her piece.)
ROBOTICIST:
Look at she (Holds up robot)
I like what I see.
Her AI is beyond compare.
And this news sure is stirring,
But with all that’s occurring
There’s something that I must share
PEOPLE:
Open up, dig way down deep.
ROBOTICIST (Spoken):
But Hubble is complicated, too! There’s simply too many ways a robot could get in a jam.
PERSON 1 (Spoken):
But then how are they supposed to fix it?
LACKEYS:
Not another peep!
ROBOTICIST (Spoken):
The job’s too hard for a robot. This is just something you need a human for.
LACKEYS: (Facing the Roboticist)
No, no, no, nooo!
No, no, no!
Seriously, don’t you know?
That it’s better by far
To keep things as they are?
Don’t mess with the flow, no, no.
Stick to the status quo!
LACKEY 1 (Spoken):
Re-check your calculations, lady!
(The woman sits down, doing just that, while a regular-looking person stands up to read his part.)
FAN:
Listen well,
I’m ready to tell.
There’s something that I cannot deny.
It’s not about information
But my heartfelt sensation
Is that Hubble just cannot die!
PEOPLE:
Speak your mind and you’ll be heard.
FAN (Spoken):
Okay, so I’m no rocket scientist or anything, but I LOVE the Hubble and I can’t just see them abandoning it!
PERSON 2 (Spoken):
You’re right!
PERSON 3 (Spoken):
But how?
PERSON 4 (Spoken):
A monkey?
FAN (Spoken):
No, dude, they can send astronauts!
LACKEYS:
Not another word!
PERSON 2 (Spoken):
Would it be safe?
FAN (Spoken, points to Journalist):
That guy thinks so.
LACKEYS (Facing the Fan and his group):
No, no, no, nooo!
No, no, no!
The Manager better knows!
If you wanna be cool,
Then the plan is the rule.
Don’t mess with the flow. No, no.
Stick to the status quooo!
LACKEYS: (Facing everyone)
No, no, no!
The Manager better knows!
It is better by far
To keep things as they are
Don’t mess with the flow. No, no.
Stick to the status quo!
(The people all rush together and begin talking loudly about the possiblity of another servicing mission. The Manager stands up and angrily paces his area.)
THE MANAGER:
This is not what I wanted.
This is not what I planned.
And I’ve just got to say.
I do not understand.
Someting is really…
FAN:
Maybe we need a NEW Manager!
LACKEY 2:
Something’s not right.
THE MANAGER:
Really wrong.
LACKEYS AND MANAGER:
And we’ve got to get things
Back where they belong.
We can do it!
FAN:
SM4 will fly!
LACKEYS: (Point to The Manager)
Oh, he better knows.
JOURNALIST:
WE can do it!
ROBOTICIST:
‘Study nebulae!
LACKEYS:
She has got to go.
PERSON 1:
We can do it!
JOURNALIST:
We can find out why!
LACKEYS:
Not another peep!
No, not another word!
No, not another sound!
No.
THE MANAGER:
Everybody, QUIET!
(An individual who will be referred to here only as The Scientist is standing next to the Journalist, Fan and Roboticist)
THE SCIENTIST (Spoken, to the Roboticist):
They want you to be in charge of NASA now?
ROBOTICIST (Spoken):
Not me, YOU.
THE SCIENTIST (Spoken):
Because of the Hubble? We have to go back, we just have to!
LACKEYS:
Nooo! No, no, no!
What do you think you know?
If you want to be cool,
Then the plan is the rule
Don’t mess with the flow, oh no.
Stick to the status quoooo!
No, no, no!
The Manager better knows.
It is better by far
To keep things as they are.
Don’t mess with the flow. No, no.
Stick to the status-
Stick to the status-
Stick to the status quo!
This parody is for the Wung movement. Nimly helped me write it.
The night that Nimly spole at H&H(parody of ‘The night that Goldman spoke at Union Square)
Nimly
I have just returned from New Wung, Muso where 42 days ago all the wungs went on strike. The wungs are starving, their wunglings are dieing, but they are holding firm, and WE MUST SUPPORT THEM! Drake
It was springtime in Muse Blog
As the snow began to fall
And the back of H and H
Had not a seat to spare
When a wungling ducked inside
Just to warm enself was all
The night that Nimly spoke at H&H Nimly
What is happening in New Wung is happening everywhere! Let us at last make this the planet of opportunity, not just the humans. The land of opportunity for Speen and his little friends! We cannot rest! Drake
En was speaking loud and fast
Through a haze of moise and heat
And the smell of sweat and anger in the air
The GAPAs were standing by
The the Wungs were on their feet
The night that Nimly spoke at H&H Nimly
Thou! Drake
En thought he heard her say Nimly
What brings en here to day? Scene becomes spooky, with the Wungs circling Drake, shouting at him Nimly + Rallyers
Poor young rich wung! Nimly
Drools for H&H tarts
What a waste of a fiery heart
Dear! Drake
He thought en said Nimly + Rallyers
Poor young bourgoeois! Nimly
There are thinks that you’ve never thought
Come to Nimly and you’ll be taught
Here! Drake
Ens head was spinning! Nimly + Rallyers
Wung work for hours on end!
Wung threads broken, and why for?
Wungling laboring, HH still of slaves!
Leave you little cafe, my friend!
There are causes to fight for! Rallyers
Strike! Drake
In the friendship of MuseBloggers
I have tried to find some meaning Rallyers
Strike! Drake
Helping out in HH kitchens
Trying to run away Rallyers
Strike Drake
Like a dragon, kept in a cave
Wanting life but never knowing how… Nimly
Yes, my enther
Life has meaning Rallyers
Strike! Nimly
I’ll show you how! Drake
Tonight.. Nimly
My enther you are
with us now! Drake
En was calling out ens name
Shouting what en did not know
And he found that he was floating in the air
With a heart angered like fire
And lots of oxygen
The night that Nimly spoke… Nimly
I’ve been waiting for you Drake
At H&H
Here is the impossible song, a parody of “First You Draw A Circle”.
First, you start with zero,
The number, start with the number zero.
Then you divide it by itself.
You have zero over zero.
Anything over itself is one;
But zero times zero is zero.
So this is my conclusion:
Zero is equal to one!
I can’t believe it!
One and zero are the same!
Now start with infinity.
Beautiful, beautiful infinity.
Then divide it by itself.
You have infinity over infinity.
Anything over itself is one;
But infinity times infinity is infinity.
So this is my conclusion:
Infinity is equal to one!
No, not again!
Infinity is equal to one!
Here is the terrible fact:
Zero, one, and infinity…
Are one and the same!
In honor of the Lunar Recon Orbiter going up today:
LCROSS Moon Mission (To the tune of “Copacabana”)
Her name was LOLA, she was a spacecraft
She caught a ride on LRO, in an Atlas Five, you know
She took some photos and dropped impactors
And so she took off for the moon, on a fine day in late June
Launch Complex For-ty One, they took off in the sun
They were young and they were flying, who could ask for more?
At the LCROSS, LCROSS Moon Mission
The thing that our Ben and Cari are dishin’
At the LCROSS, LCROSS Moon Mission
Science and passion are always the fashion at the LCROSS…
Come fall in love
His name was CRaTER, he was a sensor
He looked out for cosmic rays, on those quiet lunar days
And when he finished, they dropped a Centaur
Dust and ice went out so far, you could catch it in a jar
And the tel-es-copes looked, they wrote it up in books
There was laughing and much rejoicing
When the ice! Showed! Through!
At the LCROSS, LCROSS Moon Mission
The thing that our Ben and Cari are dishin’
At the LCROSS, LCROSS Moon Mission
Science and passion are always the fashion at the LCROSS…
Come fall in love
(Instrumental)
Her name was LOLA, she was a spacecraft…
Just like 40 years ago, when Apollo was the show…
Now we are happy, we’re goin’ back there
And stickin’ feathers in our hair and sendin’ rockets way up there.
We sit here so refined, ex-cite-ment in our minds.
‘Cause the beauty of those pictures
Could make you! Go! Blind!
At the LCROSS, LCROSS Moon Mission…
The thing that our Ben and Cari are dishin’.
At the LCROSS, LCROSS Moon Mission
Science and passion are always the fashion at the LCROSS…
Come fall in love.
This is my first parody ever, so don’t expect much.
Museblog of the Year 2009 (to the tune of the chorus for 1985)
‘Cause there’s
Bookworm, Armada,
Silver Lining, Purple Panda!
There was Rebecca
Lasley, and there was Randomosity!
Her two kids
in high school
they tell her that she’s uncool.
‘Cause she’s still preocupied
with MuseBlog
of the
year 2009!
(Sorry if i didn’t include your name. I only had room for so many people.)
Anyways, this is a really good parody of Yesterday that I found on Muse Academy.
Polar Bear
(To the tune of Yesterday)
(Parody written by Cat’s Eye)
Polar bear.
Global warming kills you, do they care?
Can humanity-y learn to share?
Oh, I believe in polar bear.
Suddenly,
Greenland’s half the size it used to be!
There’s no ozone hanging over me.
Oh polar bear, you gotta see.
Why ice has to melt, I don’t know,
it couldn’t be.
Swim, swim, or you’ll die
’cause I want an SUV-ee-ee-ee,
polar bear.
I want that new shampoo for my hair!
So the fac’tries pump smoke to the air,
oh, I believe in polar bear.
Why ice has to melt, I don’t know,
it couldn’t be.
Swim, swim, or you’ll die
’cause I want an SUV-ee-ee-ee,
polar bear.
Global warming kills you, do they care?
Can humanity-y learn to share?
Oh, I believe in polar bear.
Swim, swim, swim, swim, swim, mm-mm.
Oh! Oh! One of my friends wrote a song about global warming! Search “Forgotten You” + “Children From The Sand” on YouTube. The guy in the red hat is my friend!
Debbie hit the floor
She finally got bored
Without 10 posts a day
No more GAPAs
Her fun whooshed into fog (???)
When she left the MuseBlog
For a while, that was the end
What happened to her friends?
She was gonna fight the bunnies
She was gonna Kokonvene
She was gonna throw some pies
While dissing
And there was Kiwi, Errata
Enceladus and Armada
There was Alice, and Piggy,
And Luna the Lovely
And POSOC, and Cat’s Eye,
Tesseract and Shadowfire
And they were all preoccupied with the MuseBlog
(Nilly, Rainbow)
The MuseBlog
(KaiYves, Sudo)
The MuseBlog
(Gradster, Jadestone)
Of 2009!
Here’s one I just came up with. It’s not very good.
Glory Paranoia (to the tune of Glory Halleluja)
Mine eyes have seen the fury of the people that I know.
They’re talking behind my back.
This is something I just know.
They stare when I turn my back.
I don’t know where to go.
Did I PoPo?
Glory glory paranoia,
boy, they’re really out to get ya.
No they’re laughing at me-a.
I’m running away again!
Have ever sung, Ducky. “Sang” is past tense, “sung” is past participle — though participles will probably disappear once there are no editors around to tend them.
Begining of an Usagi Yojimbo themed parody of ‘lets get down to buisness’:
Lets get down to busness
to defeat
Hijiki
He’s got a zillion cronies,
so we must
be sneaky!
Jotaro you are awfull fine
and I’d love
to be like you,
but still you’ve
gotta learn
bunny-fu!!
I’m the voice inside your head
And I’m thinking you should be dead
Grab a brush, we’ll paint you red
And you will be sacrificed!
[CHORUS]
John Paul George Ringo Ringo Ringo Ri-ingo,
John Paul George Ringo Ringo Ringo Ri-ingo,
John Paul George Ringo Ringo Ringo Ri-ingo,
Ringo! Has got the ring!
She shrank Paul into a little man
Instead of shrinking Ringo’s hand
The Beatles were a rockin’ band
And you will be sacrifiiiiiiiiiiiiiced!
I love emoticons
I love the RPGs
I love quotations
I don’t love HPBs
We love the whole blog
From ‘phytes to veterans
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
I love to throw pies
I love to study wungs
This is the weirdest song
That I have ever sung
We love the whole blog
and all its froodiness
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
I love to read books
I am a giant squid
I love the Beatles
Um … what rhymes with squid?
I love the whole blog
Because, well, 42
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Is this perhaps inspired by the xkcd “Boom De Yada” strip? (It’s called something like “XKCD loves Discovery Channel.”) Or maybe my life has just turned into xkcd.
I love
I love little pink heads
I love William
I don’t love bipeds
We love all things pink
From carrot to bunny
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
I love to bomb you guys
I love to zombify
This is the pinkest song
That I have ever sung
We love all things pink
and all it’s accompaniment
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
I love to bunnify
I am an HPB!
I love the bite off your head
The pink of the world
Revolves around me!
I love all things pink
Because, well, it’s the best!
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
This was a triumph.
You are one of us now, the Undead.
It’s hard to say how long we’ve waited for this.
Evil United.
We destroy what we want because we can!
We do what’s best for all of us,
Especially us Undead.
All of us are equals in this monsters’ world.
Even me, though I’m just a vampire girl.
We are together in hate,
And you know, it’s really great.
To be together, we are still Undead.
I don’t really like you.
I’m being so sincere right now.
You are just another stupid minion.
Albeit powerful.
Tenacious and strong, and cruel and mean.
You’ve got some serious power, but you are just my slave.
To get anywhere you need to prove yourself.
Take your bloated ego, put it up on a shelf.
And be glad you got killed, that your mortal blood was spilled,
So that you can be still Undead.
Go ahead and leave us.
You will not get far, anyway.
When the sun comes up, you burst into flames.
Go, young Nosferatu.
Will you survive? Haha. Fat chance.
Stay here with us and you’ll know just how far you can go.
Look at me still talking when there’s killing to do.
When I look out there it makes me glad we’ve got you.
We’ve got a military to run,
There is killing to be done.
And through it all, we will be still Undead.
And believe me we are still Undead.
We’re killing people and we’re still Undead.
We feel fantastic and we’re still Undead.
When their dying we’ll be still Undead.
And when their gone we will be still Undead.
Still Undead.
Still Undead.
I don’t take credit for this, nor do I particularly dislike Miley Cyrus. My brother made this a couple of minutes ago, and I found it both ingenious, and LOL-worthy. (play the song on youtube while reading. It works PERFECTLY.)
SWINE FLU IN THE U.S.A.
I hopped off the plane at Mexico
with a disease my cardigan
welcome to the land of sex and sickness, (woah)
am I gonna fit in?
Jumped in the cab,
Here I am for the first time
Look to the right and I see the quarantine sign
This is all so painful
Everybody seems so nervous
My tummys turnin and I’m feelin like I’m throwin’ up
Too much pressure and I’m nauseous,
That’s when the taxi man turned on the radio
and a swine flu warning was on
and a swine flu warning was on
and a swine flu warning was on
So I put my hands up
To cover my mouth,
And everybody runs away
Shakin’ my head like nooo
Wavin’ my hands like goooo
And I put my hands up
To cover my mouth
But it ain’t gonna be ok
Yeah, Bringin’ swine flu to the USA
Yeah, Bringin’ swine flu to the USA
Get to the doctor in my taxi cab
Everybody’s lookin at me now
Like “whos that chick, she looks real sick?
We really should avoid her nowâ€
So hard when I just don’t stop puking
This disease just stops me from mingling
Cause’ all I see are hookers
I guess I never charged enough
My tummys turnin and I’m feelin like I’m throwing up
Too much pressure and I’m nauseous
That’s when the doctor told me my temperature
and he said it was 104
and he said it was 104
and he said it was 104
So I put my hands up
To cover my mouth,
And everybody runs away
Shakin’ my head like nooo
Wavin’ my hands like goooo
And I put my hands up
To cover my mouth
But it ain’t gonna be ok
Yeah, Bringin’ swine flu to the USA
Yeah, Bringin’ swine flu to the USA
Feel like just ending my life(my life)
Ending all this pain and strife(pain and strife)
Something stops me everytime (everytime)
The doctors tells me that I’m gonna die
So I put my hands up
To cover my mouth,
And everybody runs away (running away)
Shakin’ my head like nooo(Shakin’ my head like nooo)
Wavin’ my hands like gooo (Wavin’ my hands like gooo)
And I put my hands up,
But it ain’t gonna be ok (Ain’t gonna be okay)
Yeah (Yeah), Bringin’ swine flu to the USA
Yeah (hahaha), Bringin’ swine flu to the USA (Swine flu in the USA!)
Parody of You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift!
You’re on the phone with your boyfriend, you’re upset
You’re going off about something that he said
How I’d love to tell you that it’s all true
We’re in your room, you and your screechy voice,
I wouldn’t be here if your boyfriend gave me the choice,
But he thinks that we should keep up the pretence.
And I wear short skirts, you wear sweatshirts,
You’re just in his homeroom and I’m in all his classes.
Looking forward to the day when you’ll look up and see,
All this time when you’ve loved him he’s really been with me!
If you could see that I’m the one who likes to use you,
I’ve been doing it all along so why can’t you see?
Get away from me!
Walking the halls with you and your sweaty hands
You’re not in a position to make demands,
Laughing while I’m thinking to myself,
Hey this is ironic!
Cuz he’s got a rap that could deface the whole town,
I haven’t heard it in a while since you tied him down.
He says it’s good I know that I am too,
Why would he want to date a girl like you?
Cuz I wear stilettos, and you wear old Keds,
I kiss like Fergie (( ?? I don’t know )) you kiss like a fish that’s dead.
But I will be laughing the day that you find
When he dumps you and tells you that he’s always been mine!
After your dates, waiting at his back door
All this time you’ve never thought just maybe,
You have been the cheatee (( ? ))
Oh, I remember him driving to my house in the middle of the night,
He was sick of you, you would always want to fight
You know his favorite songs, but they cannot save you now,
I can’t see why he would ever want you somehow,
Sitting by you, watching you fawn over him
You’re so dumb you don’t know that you were just a whim.
Set him free,
Get away from me.
*bows*
Steel and Solar Wings, parody of “Wind Beneath My Wings” by Bette Midler, about how NO major news outlets mentioned continuous human presence in space aboard the ISS since November 2000 in their “Decade in Review” features:
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
It must have been cold there in the shadows,
To never have limelight up in space
You were content to let them shine, that’s your way.
You always walked a step behind.
So down here others had the glory,
While you were way up there with all your strength.
Beautiful faces without names for so long.
Beautiful smiles, and quiet pain.
Did you ever know that you’re our heroes,
And everything we would like to be?
And when we fly out there like eagles,
’cause of that steel and solar wings.
It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
But I’ve got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.
I would never forget about you.
Did you ever know that you’re my heroes?
And living like we wish we could be.
And soon we’ll fly up there like eagles
’cause of that steel and solar wings.
Did anyone tell you you’re our heroes?
And everything we wished we could be?
Oh, and we, we’ll be flying there like eagles,
’cause of that steel and solar wings,
’cause of that steel and solar wings.
Oh, that steel and solar wings.
You, you, you, you and your steel and solar wings.
Fly, fly, fly away. You let me fly so high.
Oh, you, you, you, your steel and solar wings.
Oh, you, you, you, your steel and solar wings.
Fly, fly, fly high against the sky,
so high I almost touch the sky.
Thank you, thank you,
Thank God for you, your steel and solar wings.
Ju-pi-ter two thousand zero niner, never thought we’d see any more.
But tonight there was an impact as in 1994!
Wesley caught post-impact, observatories rushed to see.
IRTF, Gemini, Keck II and HST.
Morphology and altitude, certainly an impact site.
Spectroscopy and imaging, we’ll rock that planet tonight!
Ju-pi-ter two thousand zero niner, never thought we’d see any more.
But tonight there was an impact as in 1994!
Dynamics, photochemistry, there is so much to be learned.
Twice in a lifetime, leave no asteroid or comet unturned.
SL9 was crazy, makes this loner seem so serene.
Still this is something that we wish Gene* could have seen.
Ju-pi-ter two thousand zero niner, never thought we’d see any more.
But tonight there was an impact as in 1994!
After a long Africa unit in World Cultures, this is the result, tenatively titled “I Really Need Extra-Credit” and set to the tune of Green Day’s “American Idiot”. It’s about apartheid, so if you’ve never studied it, it may be a bit (very) confusing. Ahem.
Don’t want to be a South African idiot!
Don’t want a nation under the apartheid.
And can you hear the sounds of hysteria?
The Sharpesville riots have murdered South Africa.
Welcome to a new kind of tension,
All across the ANC nation,
Where all the black kids have got to run away.
Bantu homelands dream of tomorrow,
Have you got a passbook I could borrow?
For that’s enough to bomb ’em.
Well, maybe I’m the “colored” South Africa.
I’m not a part of the de Klerk agenda.
Now everybody do the new Mandela,
And sing along in Afrikaans, not Tswana.
Welcome to a new kind of tension,
All across the ANC nation,
Where all the black kids have got to run away.
Bantu homelands dream of tomorrow,
Have you got a passbook I could borrow?
For that’s enough to bomb ’em.
Don’t want to be a South African idiot.
Don’t want a nation under the apartheid.
Riots, bombings, world in hysteria-
It’s going out to idiot South Africa.
Welcome to a new kind of tension,
All across the ANC nation,
Where all the black kids have got to run away.
Bantu homelands dream of tomorrow,
Have you got a passbook I could borrow?
For that’s enough to bomb ’em.
*guitar solo, then segue in to “Jesus of South Africa”*
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh…..
Midnight sky
I’ve been living in a skyless world
I know I never saw an Observatory
I know I never saw a galaxy
I’m gonna try for a telescope
‘Cause I’ve been living in a skyless world
Just like anyone who lives in haze
So now I’m looking for a way to stargaze
That’s what I do
And when I know what
I want from this sky
And when I wake up
And look up to the sky
They’ll see I’m not so dumb
Just because
I can watch the midnight sky
You know I haven’t seen Orion
I’m getting bored with pictures in books
And all descriptions from my astronomer friends
I made my choice
Telescope
Oooooooooooohhhhhh
You know I can’t afford to buy Keck
But maybe someday when we look back to the sky
They’ll understand how great it’s been
And then I’ll win
And when I’m watching
Sky’s looking so fine
And when I’m talking
I’ll talk ’bout the sky
They’ll see I’m not so dumb
Just because
I watch the midnight sky
Ooooooooohhhhhhhhh….
I’ve been living in my daytime world
Just like anyone who lives in haze
And now I want to stargaze
That’s what I do
Telescope
It’s my telescope
You know I’m need to gaze
With a telescope
Telescope
You know I need to watch with a tel-e-sope
MuseBlog, MuseBlog, Musey-Bloggy MuseBlog,
Throw us some pies please!
Whether we like Beatles or flutes or are obsessed with Glee.
We have a need to procrastinate
And write triangularly,
So our NaNos die, let’s eat some pie,
Or throw it at a phyte!
So ask the GAPAs anything,
But don’t let it be PoPo,
They’ll zap your frog
Off of the blog,
And then you won’t get forty-two!
This is a parody I wrote today of Vampire Club by Voltaire. (I don’t know chatspeak and probably butchered it horribly.)
Oh, the servers were fast and were on all night,
The time the chtspeakrs came to the Muse Blog site.
The leader tried to look scholarly and slim,
Like an idiot trying to impersonate an admin.
Well he recognized the MBer from his school,
And he did something that was most uncool.
He said, “Hy evrebdy, C tht ‘R101’?
Hr nm is D nd sh thnks tht gramr is fn!â€
Fingers were flying,
Flames were formed.
Spam hath no fury like an MBer scorned.
Number one rule in this game:
Never call her by her real name!
Nails were broken,
Computer keys were crushed
By frenzied typists in a rush.
And a GAPA on the web,
Edits posts all night,
And says, “It’s just another day at the
Muse Blog site!â€
Someone spoiled an alter-ego in the very first post.
We all laughed and said, “Your ego is toast!â€
Another person was mad, ‘cause en was just so drained,
That en even misspelled ens own name!
There was so much angst after the fight,
Some R&R goers broke up that night.
While some Hot Topics fans said, “Have you heard the news?
They just excommunicated You-Know-Who!â€
Fingers were flying,
Flames were formed.
Spam hath no fury like an MBer scorned.
Number one rule in this game:
Never call her by her real name!
Nails were broken,
Computer keys were crushed
By frenzied typists in a rush.
And a GAPA on the web,
Edits posts all night,
And says, “It’s just another day at the
Muse Blog site!â€
Well, it’s hard to believe, but we still come here,
Recruiting MBer from far and near.
Typing with the very upmost care,
For we grammar fanatics never despair.
A general kokonvention is a peaceful sight,
We do anything to avoid a fight.
But if you really want to see some hate and spite,
Wait ‘til the spammers come to the Muse Blog site!
Fingers were flying,
Flames were formed.
Spam hath no fury like an MBer scorned.
Number one rule in this game:
Never call her by her real name!
Nails were broken,
Computer keys were crushed
By frenzied typists in a rush.
And a GAPA on the web,
Edits posts all night,
And says, “It’s just another day at the
Muse Blog site!â€
I saw my first real F-1
Straight off the assembly line
Lookin’ at it nearly blew my head
It was the summer of ’69!
Me and some guys I knew
Had a band and we worked real hard
‘Till we quit and people stopped caring
Never knew we’d never get far
Oh, when I look back now
That summer seemed to last forever
And if I had the choice
Yeah, you know I’d wanna be there
Those were the best days of my life
“Ain’t no use in complainin’
When you got a job to doâ€
Spent my late nights down at the launchpad
Talkin’ with the mission crew, yeah!
Standin’ by the crawler porch
We were thinking ‘bout forever
Oh, ‘cause JFK’d said
That it was now or never
Those were the best days of my life, oh yeah
Back in the summer of ‘69
Man, they never wasted time
It was bold and reckless
No one needed any more
I guess nothin’ can last forever- forever, no, yeah!
And now the times are changin’
And S-T-S is nearly gone
Sometimes I look at that old F-1
Think about it and ‘bout what went wrong,
Standin’ on the LM porch
Starin’ out into forever
Oh, and Neil was sayin’
“Hurry up it’s now or never!â€
Those were the best days of my life, oh yeah
Back in the summer of ‘69, uh-huh
It was the summer of ‘69, oh yeah, baby, July of ‘69
It was the summer, the summer of ‘69
Here’s a song parody I made up about partying Kokonventions. I don’t even have a chorus yet, but I like what I have so far. This will represent a sort of international Kokonvention, because MBers from around the country (or possibly the world) will be mentioned for the sake of rhyming/rhythm.
Wake up in the morning feeling like Ford Prefect
Grab my Kokopelli pin, I’m gonna love this weekend
Before I go, leave a post, on my favorite blog
‘Cause where I’m going today I’ll meet fireandhemlock
I’m talking chatting with Robert Coontz, Coontz
Showing Luna my shoes, shoes
Sharing the latest news, news
PWT PWNS, yeah
Talking ’bout Harry Potter
Fanfiction that we thought up
Getting a drink of water
Part Two (Note: All that’s left is the refrain and the last chorus, so if anyone want to be in the refrain, please post here now. I’ll try to fit you in there. And by the way, Lasley must be pronounced Laslay.)
Kokon, yeah it’s fun
Meeting, greeting everyone
Today, I’mma play
With Rebecca Lasley
MuseBlog, yeah it rocks
Kokonvening nonstop
Yeah, yeah
Kokon, yeah it’s fun
Meeting, greeting everyone
Today, I’mma play
With Rebecca Lasley
MuseBlog, yeah it rocks
Kokonvening nonstop
Yeah, yeah
Ain’t got a care in the world, but got plenty of friends
Ain’t got nobody here to talk to, but wait, I see I-Man!
And now Alice is pulling up, so we go out and see her
And I go up to the curb so I can finally meet her
I’m talking ’bout everybody getting hyped, hyped
The photos all getting Skyped, Skyped
Robert moderating at the same time, time
Na na not going till it’s time to leave, leave
Or we meet up with KaiYves, Yves
Meet up with KaiYves, Yves
Meet up with KaiYves
Kokon, yeah it’s fun
Meeting, greeting everyone
Today, I’mma play
With Rebecca Lasley
MuseBlog, yeah it rocks
Kokonvening nonstop
Yeah, yeah
Kokon, yeah it’s fun
Meeting, greeting everyone
Today, I’mma play
With Rebecca Lasley
MuseBlog, yeah it rocks
Kokonvening nonstop
Yeah, yeah
ALL RIGHT! The official premier of the entire song of MusE BloG is now ready to post! If you asked to be in the song before 8:26 AM Colorado time on August 5, you are officially in! Enjoy… (Note: This will be my last post for a while on the blog. This song tired me out.)
Wake up in the morning feeling like Ford Prefect
Grab my Kokopelli pin, I’m gonna love this weekend
Before I go, leave a post, on my favorite blog
‘Cause where I’m going today I’ll meet fireandhemlock
I’m talking chatting with Robert Coontz, Coontz
Showing Luna my shoes, shoes
Sharing the latest news, news
PWT PWNS, yeah
Talking ’bout Harry Potter
Fanfiction that we thought up
Getting a drink of water
Kokon, yeah it’s fun
Meeting, greeting everyone
Today, I’mma play
With Rebecca Lasley
MuseBlog, yeah it rocks
Kokonvening nonstop
Yeah, yeah
Kokon, yeah it’s fun
Meeting, greeting everyone
Today, I’mma play
With Rebecca Lasley
MuseBlog, yeah it rocks
Kokonvening nonstop
Yeah, yeah
Ain’t got a care in the world, but got plenty of friends
Ain’t got nobody here to talk to, but wait, I see I-Man!
And now Alice is pulling up, so we go out and see her
And I go up to the curb so I can finally meet her
I’m talking ’bout everybody getting hyped, hyped
The photos all getting Skyped, Skyped
Rosanne moderating at the same time, time
Na na not going till it’s time to leave, leave
Or we meet up with KaiYves, Yves
Meet up with KaiYves, Yves
Meet up with KaiYves
Kokon, yeah it’s fun
Meeting, greeting everyone
Today, I’mma play
With Rebecca Lasley
MuseBlog, yeah it rocks
Kokonvening nonstop
Yeah, yeah
Kokon, yeah it’s fun
Meeting, greeting everyone
Today, I’mma play
With Rebecca Lasley
MuseBlog, yeah it rocks
Kokonvening nonstop
Yeah, yeah
MuseBlog
You are so cool
You rock my socks
You are the bomb, yeah you got me
With Musers like
SudoRandom, Maths Lover, POSOC
You got me
You are so cool, you rock my socks, you rock my socks…
Now the Kokon don’t start till I walk in
Kokon, yeah it’s fun
Meeting, greeting everyone
Today, I’mma play
With Rebecca Lasley
MuseBlog, yeah it rocks
Kokonvening nonstop
Yeah, yeah
Kokon, yeah it’s fun
Meeting, greeting everyone
Today, I’mma play
With Rebecca Lasley
MuseBlog, yeah it rocks
Kokonvening nonstop
Yeah, yeah
(Yeah, another parody that will probably be horrible.)
So You Wanted to See the Museblog
(Tune of So You Wanted to Meet the Wizard.)
So you wanted to see the Museblog?
Well let me tell you that you’ve come to the right place.
Should I take you to Hot Topics or Demigod?
You should see the awed expression on your face!
If the way this blog looks is frightening,
That’s because you’ve not read a post before today.
Just meet an MBer or admin.
Let me tell you they will make you want to stay!
Museblog!
Let the magic of good grammar take you higher,
To a paradise of intelligent desire.
And in the warmth of MBer kindness, you’ll feel fine!
Just keep your eyes open
And the wonders you will see.
Everything from throwing pie,
To a war with HPBs!
It’s a strong community, made
Of others just like you.
So many wonderful threads
You may not know
What first to do!
Oh!
So you wanted to see the Museblog!
This isn’t quite done yet, but Erin and I wrote it…
We Didn’t Light the Candle (To the tune of Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire”)
Gunpowder, Wan Hu, fireworks, rockets too,
Jules Verne, HG Wells, making cavorite
Brick moon, cannon shots, Gun Club, Florida
Good facts, bad facts, and the Selenites
Robert Goddard, cabbage patch, big explosion, shouting match
Roswell, gonna fly, not even a mile high
Leave the cradle, making plans, novels read in foreign lands
German boys, lethal toys, Nazi eyes on Oberth’s fans
Chorus:
We didn’t light the candle
It was way before us, but it sure did floor us,
No, we didn’t light the candle,
No, we didn’t light it, but no one can fight it
World War, London smoke, rocketry is not a joke
War’s end, split up friends, East or West Bloc
Korolev, Krushchev, can’t you hear the minds rev?
I-G-Y falls, start the countdown clock
Sputnik, red moons, little dog in orbit soon,
Flopnik, papers pan, Ex-plor-er, van Allen
Abel-Baker, monkey facts, Aeronautics Space Act
Lovelace, space race, seven guys for orbit
We didn’t light the candle
It was way before us, but it sure did floor us,
No, we didn’t light the candle,
No, we didn’t light it, but no one can fight it
Vostok, Mercury, tell me who it’s gonna be
Gagarin is Russian first, NASA future lookin’ worse
Shepard going up and down, Johnny flies it all around
Tereshkova, learn to swim, listen to them blame him
New Frontier, fall behind, Rice plays Texas, lunar minds
Space twins, striking blows, Slayton is a no-go
EVA, Kodak tricks, rendezvous seven and six
Neil and Dave needing tow, lunar systems are go!
We didn’t light the candle
It was way before us, but it sure did floor us,
No, we didn’t light the candle,
No, we didn’t light it, but no one can fight it
Massive rockets, N-1, at this rate we’ll soon be done
Grissom mad, Velcro bad, one spark and we’re all sad
Experts on a fixing quest, phoenix rising sans a rest
Moving forward, need that LEM, coming back with Se-ven
Christmas moon, final checks, waiting on Apollo X
Landing day, Armstrong yay, what else do I have to say?
We didn’t light the candle
It was way before us, but it sure did floor us,
No, we didn’t light the candle,
No, we didn’t light it, but no one can fight it
Doctor Who themed parody of “Yesterday” by The Beatles
SPOILER SILENCE IN THE LIBRARY SPOILER DOCTOR WHO SPOILER FOREST OF THE DEAD SPOILER DOCTOR WHO SPOILER I SPOILER HOPE SPOILER THIS SPOILER IS SPOILER ENOUGH SPOILER
The Library
All my futures seemed so far away,
Now I see they’ll come and stay,
Oh, I came to the Library.
Suddenly,
I can’t tell half I used to see,
There’s a shadow coming to kill me,
The Library came suddenly.
Who she
Really is, I don’t know, she couldn’t say.
I will
Know someday, but the memories will stay.
The Library,
Never new or trusted until that day,
Now I know she’ll never go away,
My name is with her, and will stay.
Who she
Really is, I don’t know, she couldn’t say.
I will,
Know someday, but the memories will stay.
The Library
Death is never something I like to say
She’ll live on forever, but today-
She has died in The Library
Moving water is what creates things like V-shaped valleys
That’s a valley in the shape of a V
Other features that it makes include waterfalls and floodplains
And it deposits stuff on a beach
Well, the rocks start coming and they don’t stop coming
Erosion is what makes them start doing something
Didn’t make sense just to leave them there
They get weathered and they might grow hair
So much to do, so much to see
So what’s wrong with rolling down the street
Yeah, that’s deposition for you
Erosion’s involved with that too
Hey now, it’s erosion, it moves sediment and soil
Hey now, deposition moves it out in the world
It happens to everything
And it’s kind of like weathering
Valley glaciers make many kinds of valleys
Like U-shaped ones and also hanging valleys
But waves are agents of deposition
Making sea arches, moving spits in position
And groundwater makes caverns and sinkholes
Stalactites and stalagmites, we can’t forget those
Wind, water, and gravity
Make arches and sand dunes and more features you see
Hey now, it’s erosion, it moves sediment and soil
Hey now, deposition moves it out in the world
It happens to everything
And it’s kind of like weathering
Hey now, it’s erosion, it moves sediment and soil
Hey now, deposition moves it out in the world
It happens to everything
And it’s kind of like weathering
Somebody once saw that this song doesn’t talk
About a lot of erosional features
I say yep, I don’t care though
You can see them in the video
Go watch it instead of standing here
Well, the rocks start coming and they don’t stop coming
Erosion is what makes them start doing something
Didn’t make sense just to leave them there
They get weathered and they might grow hair
So much to do, so much to see
So what’s wrong with rolling down the street
Yeah, that’s deposition for you
Erosion’s involved with that too
Hey now, it’s erosion, it moves sediment and soil
Hey now, deposition moves it out in the world
It happens to everything
And it’s kind of like weathering
It’s Thursday, Thursday
Never got the hang of Thursdays
Everybody’s wondering what’s gonna happen
Thursday, Thursday
World’s gonna end on Thursday
Everybody’s staring upward at the Vogons
Panicking panicking AAAH!
Panicking panicking AAAH!
Boom, boom, boom, boom
Looking backward at the world’s end.
I went down to
The city park
I saw a squirrel
I named him Clark
He was so cute
He followed me
I picked him up
And then I screamed
Cause he had rabies, rabies, rabies, oh!
Rabies, rabies, rabies, no!
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh!
Rabies, rabies, rabies, no!
*run around slobbering*
Now me and Clark
Are the best of friends
We both have rabies
The world will soon end
We don’t like water
We like to bite
We go on rampages
Every night
Cause we have rabies, rabies, rabies, oh!
Rabies, rabies, rabies, no!
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh!
Rabies, rabies, rabies, no!
*run around slobbering*
(Yes, I am aware squirrels can’t have rabies. It’s artistic license.)
Enceladus – Epic win. You should make up some verses!
Marble Hornets parody:
There’s a stalker in the woods
He took my friend, this can’t be good
Didn’t seem to have a face
Now he’s gone without a trace
And there’s a minion in a mask
I probably shouldn’t ask
Think I took some video
But that was seven months ago
Footage of that night
Ended up online –
What’s that
At 2:08?
It’s a blacked out blur
But I’m pretty sure
It’s Slenderman
… Cake.
Last Friday night
Watching all these tapes I found
Slenderman messed up the sound
Someone’s hacking my account
Last Friday night
Exploring houses in the dark
Chasing Slendy in the park
Who the cake is totheark?
Last Friday ni –
*****************************
(The tape ends here.)
They got mad and lost their heads
HOT PINK BUNNIES
Sky turned pink as their eyes turned red
HOT PINK BUNNIES
BEACON crews were working hard
HOT PINK BUNNIES
(Read that on a trading card)
Chorus:
Oh oh oh, the danger’s gonna grow
Oh oh oh, depigment’s gotta flow
Oh oh oh, King William’s on the rise
So put that visor down over your eyes
Boots on toes and armor on chest
Drivin’ them back with every breath
They don’t care your point of view
They’re just out to bunnify you!
RUMBLE!
We hid by a mountain lake.
HOT PINK BUNNIES
One tried to bite me, I said “Give me a break!”
HOT PINK BUNNIES
“We’ve fought your kind for seven years!”
HOT PINK BUNNIES
“We’re gonna kick you out of here!”
(Chorus)
RUMBLE!
Au-gust first, five after two
HOT PINK BUNNIES
Twenty-thirteen, we broke right through
HOT PINK BUNNIES
Old Man William did not dodge
HOT PINK BUNNIES
From his throne he was dislodged
(Chorus)
RUMBLE!
One month later I came by
HOT PINK BUNNIES
A tear was not in any eye
HOT PINK BUNNIES
In a dungeon ‘neath seafoam
HOT PINK BUNNIES
They’ve got themselves a long-time home!
Okay, so parodies of the “Major General Song” are not original at all, but I happened to listen to “I am the Very Model of a Cartoon Individual” last night while my mind was far more tired than it should have been, and, well…
(I’m not even sure how well this scans because of how fast the song goes.)
There is a warehouse far away which houses contents quite remarkable,
It’s full of wooden boxes all arranged in order hierarchical,
Containing objects lost and missing central to those mysteries unsnarkable.
To dis-co-ver any one of them alone would be most harkable.
This place would dominate the news from B-B-C to tabloids larkable–
In a talk show seat you’d find yourself most parkable.
Yes, anyone who’s read a bit of matters called mysterious
Should find that just a peak inside would render them delirious.
(Should find that just a peak inside would render them delirious!)
They’ve Earhart’s missing plane and the White Bird and Amundsen’s
And Hoffa’s bones and Crater’s too and secret-ink-revealing pens.
All that’s in just these few choice crates arranged in order hierarchical
That fill this warehouse far away which houses contents quite remarkable.
(They fill this warehouse far away which houses contents quite remarkable!)
There’s Andrew Irvine’s camera, Fawcett’s journal and a living Moa
And a map to a native village that is labeled “Cro-a-toan”.
Translated rongorongo tables, Indus Valley, Phaistos Disk
And even Inca quipu if a guess I might yet risk.
There’s Iv’ry-Billed Woodpeckers and Thylacines so full of pep
A pair of horn-rimmed glasses with a label reading “O-je-nep”
Top secret orders sent to Agent Thompson I can see ’em
And all the paintings that they stole from Mrs. Stewart Gardner’s fine museum.
(And all the paintings that they stole from Mrs. Stewart Gardner’s fine museum!)
There’s swim trunks labeled “Mr. Holt” and Peking Man’s skull so old
And D.B. Cooper’s chute and cash next to a crate of Nazi gold.
All this inside these crates arranged in order hierarchical
That fill this warehouse far away which houses contents quite remarkable.
(That fill this warehouse far away which houses contents quite remarkable!)
Plus the lifeboat from Mary Celeste and ergot bread from Salem town
A camera marked with “S. Flynn” and jewels of the Irish crown
And photos of colossal squid and scrolls from Alexandria
Near the logs of Stardust, Star Tiger, Cyclops and the Joyita.
The Piltdown forger’s signed confession, my now that was something fierce
The final will and testament of the lamented Ambrose Bierce.
I saw deciphered Zapotec and Isthmian and Linear A
And Lindy’s logbook stolen by the crowd at Le Bourget.
(And Lindy’s logbook stolen by the crowd at Le Bourget!)
Oh yes a thorough searching will reveal most anything I bet
I’ve good authority I’m near to the Ark of the Covenant
It may be here among these crates arranged in order hierarchical
That fill this warehouse which contains these contents quite remarkable.
(That fill this warehouse which contains these contents quite remarkable!)
(I should probably do another post explaining all of the references…)
Line 10: These are all references to aviation accidents from which no definite wreckage has been found. Amelia Earhart, as you probably know, vanished somewhere over the Pacific while attempting to fly around the world in 1937.
“L’Osseau Blanc”, or “The White Bird” was the plane in which Charles Nungesser and Francois Coli tried to become the first to fly across the Atlantic Ocean nonstop. Sadly, they never arrived in New York– most experts think they crashed somewhere in Maine. A few days later, Charles Lindbergh claimed the prize they’d been after with his famous solo flight (see below).
Roald Amundsen, the leader of the first expedition to reach the South Pole, vanished on a rescue mission to the Arctic in 1928. His plane probably crashed into the ocean in a fog, but the ocean is big and searching in the Arctic is hard, so no wreckage was ever found.
–
11: Jimmy Hoffa was a labor union leader believed to have been murdered in 1975 by mobsters, but nobody knows where they buried his body, so there have been a lot of jokes about people accidentally finding it in TV and movies and things. Joseph Force Crater was a New York Supreme Court judge who was the subject of a lot of similar speculation and jokes after he disappeared in 1930.
–
15: George Mallory and Andrew Irvine attempted to be the first to reach the summit of Mount Everest in 1924 but never came back. The first confirmed summit of Everest was not until three decades later. Mallory’s body was found in 1999, but without the camera the pair had taken along, which presumably would have contained summit photographs if they had made it to the top before dying. (Muse had an article on this in January 2002.)
Percy Fawcett was a British explorer who disappeared in the Amazon in 1925, looking for a lost city he called “Z”. He’s one of the many people sometimes cited as an inspiration for Indiana Jones. (There’s a very good book about him that came out a few years ago that I haven’t read yet but want to.) There probably wasn’t really a “Z”, but we don’t know what happened to him, so finding his journal would be a big deal.
The Moa were giant flightless birds that lived in New Zealand in prehistoric times. It’s believed that the ancestors of the Maori hunted them to extinction within a few centuries of arrival, which is really sad. But maybe, just maybe the keepers of this secret warehouse saved a few to establish a breeding program elsewhere and provide the world with the awesomeness of three-point-six-meter-high birds. (Or time travel? Or cloning? Who knows?)
–
16: Not too obscure– “CROATOAN” was found carved on a tree in the abandoned Lost Colony of Roanoke by the next English ship to visit. Most people think it meant that the colonists had gone to live with the Native Americans who lived on Hatteras Island not too far away, which was called “Croatoan Island” at the time, but nobody knows for sure. (Cricket had an article about it in one of the old issues my cousins gave me, which would have been from sometime in the late 80s or early 90s.)
–
17: These are all ancient written scripts that we haven’t been able to decipher yet. Rongorongo is the script found on some artifacts from Rapa Nui/Easter Island, the Indus Valley or Harappan Script was used by the Indus Valley Civilization of ancient Afghanistan/Pakistan/Northwest India, and the Phaistos Disk is an object found in the Minoan palace of Phaistos on Crete marked with characters that appear on only one other artifact from Crete (and even there it’s not sure if they’re exactly the same script.)
–
18: Quipu are a system of knotted strings used by the Inca for record-keeping. It’s not clear whether that’s all they were used for, or if they could also be used to encode more complex information like music or stories. If they were, then perhaps that information could be deciphered as the song suggests.
–
19: The Ivory-Billed Woodpecker is a species of woodpecker native to the southeastern US, believed to have gone extinct in the 1940s. However, there have been reported sightings since then, so they’re officially listed as “critically endangered and possibly extinct”. The most-publicized and most recent of these sightings were in 2004 and 2005 in Arkansas and attracted a lot of scientific attention, but so far no concrete proof of living Ivory-Bills has emerged. Still, one can hope. (Muse had an article about this in February 2005.)
Like an Ivory-Billed Woodpecker, a thylacine full of pep would indeed be quite the discovery, as this marsupial species popularly called the Tasmanian Tiger is believed to have gone extinct in the 1930s. Also like the Ivory-Bill, there were some unconfirmed sightings after that, so it wasn’t officially listed as extinct until the 1980s. Except, perhaps, in this secret warehouse? (Muse had an article about this in August 1998, or so our Back Issues page tells me, although I wasn’t reading it yet.)
–
20: Art collector Michael Rockefeller, who wore horn-rimmed glasses, disappeared on an expedition to New Guinea in 1961. The new book I was raving about earlier this month suggested that he’d been killed by tribesmen from the village of Otsjanep (pronounced like it’s written in the song, or at least that’s how the author said it at his book talk, and he’s been there, so…)
–
21: Jim Thompson was an American businessman who helped revive the Thai silk industry after World War II. This made him really rich and famous, until one day in 1967 when he went for a walk in the jungle and never came back. Because he’d been a secret agent during WWII, people speculated that maybe he’d been called back for one final mission.
–
22: On the day after St. Patrick’s Day 1990, two robbers disguised as policemen entered the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum here in Boston, subdued the security guards, and stole 13 works of art, including two Rembrandt paintings and five drawings by Degas. The FBI has been searching for them ever since, and about a year ago, they said they believed they knew the identities of the thieves but that the trail had gone cold. They put out a call for anonymous tips, but there haven’t been any further announcements.
–
24: Australian Prime Minister Harold Holt disappeared in 1967 while swimming in the ocean. He was the SERVING Prime Minister, too, not a former one– the active head of the country just disappeared! Even for Australia, that’s pretty weird!
Peking Man is the name for specimens of the hominin Homo erectus discovered in the 1920s and 1930s in China, near Beijing, which English speakers at the time transliterated as Peking. They were boxed up to be shipped to New York a few days before the attack on Pearl Harbor, but they vanished en route. Fortunately, detailed plaster casts had already been made.
–
25: In 1971, a man using the alias “Dan Cooper” hijacked an airplane in Washington State, and then parachuted out with 200,000 dollars in stolen cash. Some of the money was found in 1980 along the Columbia River, but no sign of “Cooper” himself. The current consensus is that he probably wouldn’t have survived the jump and landing in the forest given the flight conditions. (Oh, and the name he used was “Dan Cooper”, but “D.B. Cooper” was a typo made by a news reporter covering the hijacking that somehow caught on.)
There are many stories and rumors about gold, paper money, and looted art treasures hidden around Europe by the Nazis as their government fell– things certainly were stashed to some degree, but most of it was discovered in the first few years after the war. Some art does emerge from time to time, but the urban legends about crates of gold bullion sunk at the bottom of lakes and the like so far seem to be just legends.
–
27: There is a theory that ergot, a grain fungus that can cause hallucinations, may have been a partial cause of the Salem Witch Trials. However, objections have been raised to this theory by other historians—namely that other people presumably eating the same bread as the girls who claimed to be “bewitched†showed no signs of ergot poisoning. Certainly there were also psychological and political factors involved, but you covered that in AP US History, I’m sure.
The Mary (not Marie, that’s another typo that caught on) Celeste was a ship found adrift in 1872 off the coast of Portugal with all of the crew and passengers missing. The ship’s lifeboat was also missing, so they probably abandoned ship in that—the real mystery is why everyone would leave a ship that was perfectly seaworthy and stocked with food and supplies. A lot of people have speculated about that, including Jane Yolen and Heidi Stemple who wrote that kids’ book about it in the 90s that seemed to be in EVERY library and waiting room in my childhood. (Does anyone else know the one I mean?) They also wrote a book in the same style about the Salem Witch Trials, hence my grouping of these subjects together.
–
28: Sean Flynn, son of the actor Errol Flynn, was a photojournalist who went missing in action in Vietnam in 1967. (Holy Kokopelli, what was it with people disappearing in Australasia/Southeast Asia in the ‘60s?!?)
The Irish Crown Jewels were stolen from Dublin Castle in 1907 and have never been recovered; one of the suspects was Ernest Shackleton’s brother. The Sherlock Holmes story “The Adventure of the Bruce-Partington Plans†was based on this case.
–
29: Colossal squid, the largest known species of squid, have never been photographed alive in the wild, although many dead specimens have been studied and captured ones have been observed dying. Until ten years ago, the same was true of their cousins the giant squid, and every book about the ocean I read as a kid made sure to end the section on them with that fact. I have not had the chance to look at many ocean books written for children in the years since then, but I would hope that they discuss colossal squid and end with a similar sentence so that this generation can also experience the sense of mystery and of science pushing at its frontiers that such a statement inspires.
The Library of Alexandria was one of the greatest libraries of the ancient world, but, as Cosmos fans know, its contents were sadly burned during attacks by Romans and Byzantines in the 3rd and 4th centuries CE. Some of the books listed as having been in the library’s collection by ancient sources have no surviving examples, including several lost plays by Euripides. At the end of the first National Treasure movie, Dr. Abigail Chase rejoices at finding intact “Scrolls from the Library of Alexandria!†among the treasures of the Knights Templar, and with good reason!
–
30: Star Dust was the callsign of an airliner that crashed into a mountain while descending for landing in Santiago, Chile, in 1947. No wreckage was found until the 1990s, so for a long time people made a big deal of it having “just disappeared off the map!â€, especially because the last Morse code transmission from the plane was the seemingly-meaningless word “STENDEC†repeated three times. Analysis of the wreckage suggests that it was a totally normal crash, but we still don’t know what “STENDEC†means—it was probably some combination of standard Morse abbreviations, mistakes in transmission, and mistakes in transcription.
Star Tiger was another airliner that vanished while flying to Bermuda in 1948. You hear it cited as “OMG BERMUDA TRIANGLE !1!1†a lot, but the plane was known to have been low on fuel and have other mechanical problems, so it probably was something more mundane. Maybe someday we’ll find the wreckage on the ocean floor and figure it out—but like I said, the ocean is big. (Incidentally, Star Dust and Star Tiger were from the same airline, and they also had another plane, Star Ariel, disappear the next year. I would NOT want to be their PR staff…)
The USS Cyclops was a Navy ship that disappeared in March 1918 while sailing from Barbados to Baltimore. It’s still the largest non-combat loss of personnel in the history of the US Navy. Two of her sister ships were known to suffer from structural problems and were also lost at sea, so there may have been a design flaw in their construction.
MV Joyita was a charter boat found abandoned in the Pacific in 1955. Like the Marie Celeste, the liferafts were missing even though the ship was seaworthy. The radio was broken, there was minor structural damage, and some of the cargo was missing, leading some to suspect piracy, but we don’t really know. The logbook, which might have given investigators a clue, was also missing, hence the song’s celebration of finding it.
–
31: “Piltdown Man†was the name given to supposedly prehistoric bones of a human ancestor found in England in the 1910s. In the 1950s, they were determined to be a hoax (and kind of a sloppy one, too), but the perpetrator’s identity remains a matter of speculation.
–
32: Ambrose Bierce, the author of “An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge†and other famous short stories, went missing in action while covering the 1910 Mexican Revolution. Bierce had written several stories with supernatural themes and so, like Edgar Allan Poe, the fact that the circumstances of his own death were ambiguous proved a fertile ground for fiction writers. (Even though people, y’know, disappear in war like all the time…)
–
33: More undeciphered ancient scripts—Zapotec was the script used by the Zapotec civilization of present-day Oaxaca, Mexico, it may be one of the oldest writing systems in Mesoamerica. Isthmian is another Mesoamerican script, similar to the later Maya glyphs—the numbers and Long Count dates seem to be the same, but the glyphs are different, and we aren’t sure what language they represent. Linear A is a script found in the Minoan palaces of Crete, we think it might be the Minoans’ own writing system, but we don’t know what language they spoke or which one it represents, making decipherment a challenge.
–
34: Charles Lindbergh, unlike Nungesser and Coli, safely made it across the Atlantic and landed at Paris’ Le Bourget airfield, but the crowd of fans swarmed his plane, cut off pieces of its skin as souvenirs, and stole his logbook from the flight. Aviation historians are still kicking themselves over this loss.
–
37: The film Raiders of the Lost Ark ends with a famous scene of the Ark of the Covenant, recovered by Indiana Jones, being crated up and deposited in a government storage facility full of similar crates. The modern trope of “secret government warehouse full of mysterious stuff†largely stems from that scene—so it felt only fair to make the Ark the last object mentioned here as a tip of the fedora.
I have. My first listen through the album was in a illness-induced stupor, so I didn’t enjoy it much. But then I watched the music videos as they came out…wow. So much creativity packed into eight videos.
To be sung to the tune of “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds”
Picture yourself in a fifties police box
Whose phone doesn’t work and is bigger inside
Somebody asks you if you are his Mummy
The boy with those huge gasmask eyes
He’s on the rooftop, just staring at you
Are you my Mummy, he said.
Climb up a rope to get closer to him
But he’s gone.
Rosie in the sky with zeppelins
Rosie in the sky with zeppelins
Rosie in the sky with zeppelins
Ahhhhhh-ahhhhhh…
Follow him down to a house that has dinner
Where homeless kids eat while the bombers fly by
Everyone’s happy until they hear voices
The boy with those huge gasmask eyes.
Go to the hospital, find Constantine
None of the people are dead
Patients chase you, Captain Jack beams you up
And you’re gone.
Rosie in the sky with zeppelins
Rosie in the sky with zeppelins
Rosie in the sky with zeppelins
Ahhhhhh-ahhhhhh…
Picture yourself near a crashed Chula warship
With nanites that make you both dead and alive
Suddenly Mummy embraces her child
The boy with those huge gasmask eyes.
Rosie in the sky with zeppelins
Rosie in the sky with zeppelins
Rosie in the sky with zeppelins
Ahhhhhh-ahhhhhh…
I love parody. I’ve written quite a few, but they’re all inside jokes for my friends. Nobody here could grasp the meaning of “life just sucks, ‘cuz Marco ate my pants” unless you’re one of my friends and I don’t know it. *sigh* New mission- write parodies that people I don’t always hang out with can grasp.
Let’s see… All the HPBs? Big Kokopelli? Welcome to the New Muse?
(First post?)
Whoo hoo! Thanks, GAPAs!
Are we allowed to post parodies we didn’t make up? If so…
“A Complicated Song” by Weird Al Yankovic
Sung to the tune of “Complicated”
Uh huh … extra cheese
Uh huh, uh huh … save a piece for me
Pizza party at your house
I went just to check it out
Nineteen extra larges
What a shame
No one came
Just us eatin’ all alone
You said, “Take the pizza home”
“No sense lettin’ all this go to waste”
So then I faced
Pizza all day
And every day
This cheese ’round the clock
Is gettin’ me blocked
And I sure don’t care
For irregularity
Tell me
Why’d you have to go and make me so constipated?
‘Cause right now I’d do anything to just get my bowels evacuated
In the bathroom … I sit and I wait and I strain
And I sweat and I clench and I feel the pain
Oh, should I take laxatives or have my colon irrigated?
No no no
I was feelin’ pretty down
‘Till my girlfriend came around
We’re just so alike in every way
I gotta say
In fact, I just thought I might
Pop the question there that night
I was kissing her so tenderly
But woe is me
Who would have guessed
Her family crest
I’d suddely spy
Tattooed on her thigh
And son-of-a-gun
It’s just like the one on me
Tell me
How was I supposed to know we were both related?
Believe me, if I knew she was my cousin we never would have dated
What to do now? Should I go ahead and propose
And get hitched and have kids with eleven toes
And move to Alabama where that kind of thing is tolerated?
No no no no no no no
No no no no no no no
No no no no no
I had so much on my mind
I thought maybe I’d unwind
Try out that new roller coaster ride
And the guide
Said not to stand
But that’s a demand
That I couldn’t meet
I got on my feet
And stood up instead
And knocked off my head, you see
Tell me
Why’d I have to go and get myself decapitated?
This really is a major inconvenience, oh man, I really hate it
Such a drag, now … Can’t eat, I can’t breathe, I can’t snore
I can’t belch or yodel anymore
Can’t spit or blow my nose or even read Sports Illustrated
Oh no
Why’d I have to go and get myself all mutilated? (yeah, yeah)
I gotta tell ya, life without a head kinda makes me irritated
What a bummer
Can’t blink, I can’t cough, I can’t sneeze
But my neck is enjoyin’ a pleasant breeze now
Haven’t been the same since my head and I were separated
No no no
Instant Pie’s gonna get you,
Gonna hit you right on the head,
You better get yourself together,
Pretty soon you’re gonna be pied,
What in the musiverse you thinking of,
Laughing in the face of Muse,
What on earth you tryin’ to do,
It’s up to you, yeah you.
Instant Pie’s gonna hit you,
Gonna pie you right in the face,
Better get yourself together darlin’,
Join the muser race,
How in the world you gonna see,
Laughin’ at fools like me,
Who on earth d’you think you are,
A muser?
Well, right you are.
Well we all love pie,
Like kokopelli and the Musers and I
Well we all love pie
Ev’ryone come on.
Instant Pie’s gonna get you,
Gonna pie you off your feet,
Better recognize your brothers,
Ev’ryone you meet,
Why in the musiverse are we here,
Surely not to live in pain and fear,
Why on earth are you there,
When you’re ev’rywhere,
Come and get your share.
Well we all love pie,
Like kokopelli and the musers and the I,
Yeah we all love pie,
Come on and on and on on on,
Yeah yeah, alright, uh huh, ah-.
Well we all love pie,
Like kokopelli and the musers and I,
Yeah we all love pie,
On and on and on on and on.
Well we all love pie,
Like kokopelli and the musers and I.
Well we all love pie,
Like the Kokopelli and the musers and I.
Yeah we all love pie,
Like kokopelli and the musers and I.
Hehe, I made up a tiny song about my dog to the tune of “Super Trouperâ€
Tonight the
Super Pooper Nessa’s is gonna find me
Like she always does
I’m gonna have to pick it up
Feeling like a janitor
Tonight the
Super Poopers fumes are gonna kill me
And I’ll still feel blue
Like I always do
‘Cause somewhere in the grass there’s poo
*falls down laughing* it’s so incredibly idiotic!
(To the tune of “Milkshake”)
MY Pokemon brings all the nerds to the yard!
And they’re like, “you wanna trade cards?”
Heck right! I wanna trade cards!
I’ll trade this, but not my Charizard!
Here Comes Another Bubble (We Didn’t Start The Fire)
Get me a CS degree
Honor roll, MIT
Moved to Palo Alto
oppurtunity knocked
Thought I had the perfect plan
Took the job at webvan
Traded in my twenties
For a worthless pile of tech stock
Suffered through the market crash
Lost a giant wad of cash
Pink slips, burger flips
Would you like some fries?
Happy days are here again
Larry Page, Sergey Brin
Time to write a business plan
So I can be like those guys!
Here comes another bubble
It’s a monster rally
all around the valley
First you need a buzzword
Then a second and a third
Pick at least two industries
You’ll revolutionize
Find yourself and engineer
Feed him pizza, buy him beer
Give him just a fraction of a fraction of the pie
Need a good domain name
Must be cheap, can’t be lame
Something cool like Flickr, Meebo, WikiYou, Mahalo, Bebo, Telephone without the “T”!
Digg but with a triple g!
Make your elevator pitch!
Code it up and flip the switch!
Here comes another bubble
The VCs are backing
Baby lets get cracking!
Blog Blog Blog it all
Blog it if it’s big or small
Blog in the locker room!
Babies blogging in the womb!
Blog even if your wrong
Won’t you blog about this song?
Launch party, nicely dressed
Whats the point? Sausage fest.
Blue shirts, khaki pants
Looking like a line of ants
Need to get a facebook page
All these guys are half my age!
29, past my prime!
I feel so behind the times!
Here comes another bubble
In a year we swear
we’ll all be billionaires
Make yourself a million bucks
Partly skill, mostly luck
Now you can afford a down payment
on a small house
If you want a bigger one
Hillsborough, Atherton
Better hope the same thing
happened to your spouse
IPO, lucky you
Have your cake and eat it too
Private yacht, party jet
Why not bye a matching set?
Build yourself a rocket ship
Blast off on an ego trip
Can this really be the end?
Back to work you go again!
Here comes another bubble
and when we are gone
this will still go on
and on, and on, and on, and on, and one, and on, and…
Woah, that took a long time. I had to watch the video and type the lyrics *sighs*
People from both my school in California and my current school knew these songs.
Deck the halls with poison ivy
Falalalala-lalalala
‘Tis the season to be naughty
Falalalala-lalalala
Break the window
With the baseball
Falala-falala-la-la-la
Open the door while the car is driving
Falalalala-lalalala
AND
Jingle bells, batman smells
Robin laid an egg
Batmobile lost a wheel
And Joker did ballet -hey!
AND
Crashing through the snow
On a pair of broken skis
O’er the hills we go
Crashing into trees!
The snow is turning red
I think I’m almost dead
And now I’m in the hospital with needles in my head!
Ohhhhhhhh!
9-1-1
9-1-1
9-1-1 all day!
Oh what fun it is to be
In an ambulance all day – hey!
9-1-1
9-1-1
9-1-1 all day!
Oh what fun it is to be
In an ambulance all day!
Isn’t childhood wonderful?
OH! I just thought of another!
To the tune of American Pie.
A long long time ago,
long before the super bowl and things like lemonade.
The Hellenic Republic was full of smarts.
And a question resting on the Grecian hearts was what is the circumference of a circle?
But they were set on rational numbers.
And it ranks among their biggest blunders.
They worked on it for years.
And confirmed one of their biggest fears.
I can’t be certain if they cried when irrationality was realized.
But something deep within them died.
The day
They discovered…
Pi
They were thinking,
Pi pi mathematical pi
3 point 141592
6535897
93238462
64338327 Not rounded
<3
6 – My Science Bowl Coach made us sing that one on pi day last year.
Hehe, tune to “How Do I Feel.”
I was free when we met
You were looking in the bargain bin
With your mom – with a net
At Wal-Mart
Then you smiled like you knew
That today you’d buy a Barbie
And that Barbie turned out to be me
How do I “feelâ€
Ever since you dropped me in the trash
I’m starting to peel
As the rats knaw at my arms
How do I “feelâ€
Now that I’m moldy
For the thing that I miss the most
Is getting dressed up
I was fine for a while
I still looked the same
But the rats came and I got chewed up
Now I’m changed
I’m pretty sure
More and more I look disfigured
Sometimes its hard to look the same
How do I “feelâ€
Ever since you dropped me in the trash
I’m starting to peel
As the rats knaw at my arms
How do I “feelâ€
Now that I’m moldy
For the thing that I miss the most
Is getting dressed up
Sometimes
You get trapped in the garbage
And you know you’ll never get out
*music plays*
How do I “feelâ€
Now that I’m moldy
For the thing that I miss the most
I miss the dog, I miss the cat
I miss the toy chest, I miss the days
You’d take me out, and we’d play
But the thing that I miss the most
How do I “feelâ€
I’m starting to peel
How do “feelâ€
Now that I’m moldy
For the thing that I miss the most
Is getting dressed up
My friend and I wrote a parody of “When You’re Evil”:
When the hacker is too busy,
And a virus is too much,
They call on me by name you see,
For my special touch.
To the gentlemen, I’m an outcast,
To the ladies, I’m a freak.
But call me by any name,
Any way, it’s all the same…
I’m the lurker on your blog
I’m the stalker on your site
I’m the spammer in your mail
Yes, I made your server fail
And it’s so easy when you’re nerdy.
This is my life you see,
The leet all tip their hats to me
I do it all because I’m nerdy
And I do it all for free
Your Facebook page is all I’ll ever need
(We couldn’t think of lyrics for the entire song)
5- My friends and I used to sing it like this:
Dashing through the snow on a pair a broken skis
Over the hills we go, crashing into trees
The snow is turning red
I think I’m almost dead
All I want is a hospital bed
Theres a huge crack in my head!
Oh
Santa Clause, Santa Clause
Santa Clause is dead
Rudolph took a 44
and shot him in the head, oh
Barbie doll, Barbie doll tried to save his life
but “G I”- Joe FROM MEXICO stabbed her with a knife
OH! Jingle bells, jingle bells,
Jingle all the way!
Oh what fun it is to ride with a monkey in my sleigh, hey!
Jingle bells, jingle bells, I think I see a light
Don’t touch the reindeer, I’ve warned you
‘Cause Rudolf just might bite!
WOAH! Jingle bells, jingle bells!
Santa Clause is dead
Rudolph took a 44
and shot him in the head, oh
Barbie doll, Barbie doll tried to save his life
but “G I” Joe from Mexico, stabbed her with a knife
Pretty violent, no?
yay! I posted mine on a thread somewhere… *thinks of more*
My friend and I write random songs and record them. We are planning to take over Weird Al on the song parody front. XD
…Wheir all on this for money and were payed to play roles in this stupid show! wheir all in this for money and we know that it shows that our harts are not in it! (Repeat repeat repeat..)
The Arrogant Worms’ “Boy Band” is hilariouse. One of my favorite songs. Go check it out.
I like reall clever songs that are making fun of other songs or musical groups without being to the tune of a preexisting song.
Sung to tune of the chorus of “jingle bells”:
Oh, santa claus, santa claus,
why are you so fat?
I was sleeping peacefully
but now my bed is flat!
Oh, santa claus, santa claus,
how much do you weigh?
I’m glad I’m not a reindeer
who has to pull your sleigh!
Oh my gosh, lookit what I just found on YouTube. This is GOLD.
http:// www. youtube.com /watch?v=7arl-cYDRn0
Song: The Saga Begins
To the Tune Of: American Pie
By: “Weird Al” Yankovic
Lyrics:
The Saga Begins Lyrics
Artist(Band):Weird Al Yankovic Review The Song (14) Print the Lyrics:
A long, long time ago
In a galaxy far away
Naboo was under an attack
And I find me and Qui-Gon Jinn
Could talk the federation in
To maybe cutting them a little slack
But their response, it didn’t thrill us
They locked the doors and tried to kill us
We escaped from that gas
Then met Jar Jar and Boss Nass
We took a bongo from the scene
And we went to Theed to see the Queen
We all wound up on Tatooine
That’s where we found this boy
Oh
My my this here Anakin guy
Maybe Vader someday later
Now he’s just a small fry
He left his home
And kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin’
“Soon I’m gonna be a Jedi”
“Soon I’m gonna be a Jedi”
Did you know this junkyard slave
Isn’t even old enough to shave
But he can use the Force, they say
Ahh, do you see him hitting on the queen
Though he’s just nine and she’s fourteen
Yeah, he’s probably gonna marry her someday
Well, I know he built C-3PO
And I’ve heard how fast his pod can go
And we were broke, it’s true
So we made a wager or two
He was a prepubescent flyin’ ace
And the minute Jabba started off that race
Well, I knew who would win first place
Oh yes, it was our boy
We started singin’
My my this here Anakin guy
Maybe Vader someday later
Now he’s just a small fry
And he left his home
And kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin’
“Soon I’m gonna be a Jedi”
“Soon I’m gonna be a Jedi”
Now we finally got to Coruscant
The Jedi Council we knew would want
To see how good the boy could be
So we took him there and we told the tale
How his midi-chlorians were off the scale
And he might fulfill that prophecy
Oh the Council was impressed of course
Could he bring balance to the Force?
They interviewed the kid
Oh, training they forbid
Because Yoda sensed in him much fear
And Qui-Gon said “Now listen here”
“Just stick it in your pointy ear”
“I still will teach this boy”
He was singin’
My my this here Anakin guy
Maybe Vader someday later
Now he’s just a small fry
And he left his home
And kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin’
“Soon I’m gonna be a Jedi”
“Soon I’m gonna be a Jedi”
We caught a ride back to Naboo
‘Cause Queen Amidala wanted to
I frankly would’ve liked to stay
We all fought in that epic war
And it wasn’t long at all before
Little hotshot flew his plane and saved the day
And in the end some Gungans died
Some ships blew up and some pilots fried
A lot of folks were croakin’
The battle droids were broken
And the Jedi I admire most
Met up with Darth Maul and now he’s toast
Well, I’m still here and he’s a ghost
I guess I’ll train this boy
And I was singin’
My my this here Anakin guy
Maybe Vader someday later
Now he’s just a small fry
And he left his home
And kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin’
“Soon I’m gonna be a Jedi”
“Soon I’m gonna be a Jedi”
We were singin’
My my this here Anakin guy
Maybe Vader someday later
Now he’s just a small fry
And he left his home
And kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin’ “Soon I’m gonna be a Jedi”
When I went to see episode three in theaters, they played that in the restrooms.
MARFwarrior made a few hilarious ones. I’ll get them on here… eventually.
Here’s one I made…
On The Good Ship MuseBlog
(sung to the tune of On The Good Ship Lollipop)
On the good ship MuseBlog
It’s a EVIL trip to be a candy hog
Where MuseBloggers play
On the big HPB ray.
Urania stands everywhere.
Kokopelli bands fill the air.
And there Musers are
Happy landing on a pie bar.
See the sugar bowl do the tootsie roll
With the big bad Milky Way bar.
If you eat too much moo moo
You’ll realize MuseBlog is not bizarre.
On the good ship MuseBlog
Its a virtual trip into MA you blog
And post away
On the good ship MuseBlog.
I know this was really bad, but it was spur-of-the moment!
I believed I could fly
But I got shot by the FBI
All I wanted was a chicken wing,
from the fat guy at burger king!
I had to go to the hospital
but all they gave me was a popsicle.
Hm. That was odd.
15 – I love that video.
I ‘ve written a few parodies, but here’s the first, to the tune of “The Monster Mash”:
THE MARTIAN MASH.
I was working at the dish
Late one night
When I beheld an eerie sight
An alien tune was ringing through my ears
I’d been hoping for this for years and years-
It was the mash!
It was the Martian Mash!
The Martian Mash!
A Cydonian smash!
The Martian Mash!
Great to play at a bash!
The Martian Mash!
Come do the Martian Mash!
Amazed, I let out a yell
They must have heard me in New Rochelle!
I woke my boss right out of his bed,
He said “Can’t it wait till morning? Go soak ya head!â€
Ignoring all his curses and groans
I offered him my headphones
He heard the Mash!
He heard the Martian Mash!
The Martian Mash!
A Cydonian smash!
The Martian Mash!
Great to play at a bash!
The Martian Mash!
Come do the Martian Mash!
Contact! Hooray! Talk about fun!
And only forty years after we’d begun!
We phoned our founders,
The Director and her son
Everyone came, crazy for that sound
Not that we’re publicity hounds
Some guys in dark glasses started to arrive
Their name was something like “Majestic Fiveâ€
We showed them the Mash!
We played the Martian Mash!
The Martian Mash!
A Cydonian smash!
The Martian Mash!
Great to play at a bash!
The Martian Mash!
Come do the Martian Mash!
Then from our headphones, a voice did ring
ET wanted to say just one thing
“Too much waiting!†He said, shaking his fist
“Send some astronauts up here to teach us the twist!â€
Thanks for the Mash!
Thanks for your Martian Mash!
The Martian Mash!
Your Cydonian smash!
The Martian Mash!
Great to play at a bash!
The Martian Mash!
Come do the Martian Mash!
Now everything’s cool, NASA drew up a plan
And in three days, we send our first band
They’re great singers, great dancers too
But they need one more member- how about you!
Then we’ll all dance the Mash!
We’ll dance the Martian Mash!
The Martian Mash!
The Cydonian smash!
The Martian Mash!
Great to play at a bash!
The Martian Mash!
Come do the Martian Mash!
15–That is quite possibly my favorite parody of all time.
To the tune of “Joy to the World” (this is a CLASSIC elementary school material):
Joy to the world,
The teacher is dead.
We bar-be-que’d
Her head!
Don’t worry ’bout the body
We flushed it down the potty
And ’round and ’round it goes
And ’round and ’round it goes
And ’round and ’round and ’round it goes!
Another Weird Al one (parody of Ridin’ by Chamillionare)–White and Nerdy
They see me mowin’
My front lawn
I know they’re all thinking
I’m so White N’ nerdy
Think I’m just too white n’ nerdy
Think I’m just too white n’ nerdy
Can’t you see I’m white n’ nerdy
Look at me I’m white n’ nerdy!
I wanna roll with
The gangsters
But so far they all think
I’m too white n’ nerdy
Think I’m just too white n’ nerdy
Think I’m just too white n’ nerdy
I’m just too white n’ nerdy
Really, really white n’ nerdy
First in my class here at M.I.T.
Got skills, I’m a Champion of DND
MC Escher that’s my favorite MC
Keep your 40
I’ll just have an Earl Grey tea
My rims never spin to the contrary
You’ll find they’re quite stationary
All of my action figures are cherry
Steven Hawkings in my library
My MySpace page is all totally pimped out
I got people begging for my top 8 spaces
Yo I know Pi to a thousand places
Ain’t got no grills but I still wear braces
I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise
I’m a whiz at minesweeper I can play for days
Once you see my sweet moves you’re gonna stay amazed,
my fingers movin’ so fast I’ll set the place ablaze
There’s no killer app I haven’t run
At Pascal, well, I’m number 1
Do vector calculus just for fun
I ain’t got a gat but I gotta soldering gun
Happy days is my favourite theme song
I can sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong
I’ll ace any trivia quiz you bring on
I’m fluent in Java Script as well as Klingon
Here’s the part I sing on
They see me roll on
my Segway
I know in my heart they think I’m
white n’ nerdy!
Think I’m just too white n’ nerdy
Think I’m just too white n’ nerdy
Can’t you see I’m white n’ nerdy
Look at me I’m white n’ nerdy
I’d like to roll with-
The gangsters
Although it’s apparent I’m too
White n’ nerdy
Think I’m just too white n’ nerdy
I’m just too white n’ nerdy
How’d I get so white n’ nerdy?
I’ve been browsing, inspectin’
X-men comics you know I collect ’em
The pens in my pocket
I must protect ’em
my ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored
Shopping online for deals on some writable media
I edit Wikipedia
I memorized Holy Grail really well
I can recite it right now and have you ROTFLOL
I got a business doing websites
When my friends need some code who do they call?
I do HTML for them all
Even made a homepage for my dog!
Yo! Got myself a fanny pack
they were having a sale down at the GAP
Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap
POP POP! Hope no one sees me gettin’ freaky!
I’m nerdy in the extreme and whiter than sour creme
I was in AV club and Glee club and even the chess team!
Only question I ever thought was hard
Was do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?
I spend every weekend
at the renaissance fair
I got my name on my under wear!
They see me strollin’
They laughin’
And rollin’ their eyes ’cause
I’m so white n’ nerdy
Just because I’m white n’ nerdy
Just because I’m white n’ nerdy
All because I’m white n’ nerdy
Holy cow I’m white n’ nerdy
I wanna bowl with-
the gangsters
but oh well it’s obvious I’m
white n’ nerdy
Think I’m just too white n’ nerdy
Think I’m just too white n’ nerdy
I’m just too white n’ nerdy
Look at me I’m white n’ nerdy!
21- That was like the theme song of our school for a few years. I got sick of it but it’s still hilarious. I love Weird Al.
21 – I’ve heard that first one, except with Barney instead of the teacher.
My parody of blink-182’s “First Date.” To the tune of First Date, of course.
In the cab, I just can’t wait
To pick you up for your courtroom date
Is it cool if I cuff your hands?
Is it wrong if I tell you where we stand?
Is that how you’re gonna have your hair?
They’ll say you’re guilty if that’s what you’re gonna wear
I’m too nervous about what they’ll think
‘Cuz I’m a lawyer who has never been beat
Let’s go, don’t wait, this trial’s almost over
Honest, don’t let this thing last forever
Forever and ever, don’t let this last forever
Forever and ever, don’t let this last forever
The press goes crazy as we walk inside
They only want to waste a minute of your time
I really wish it was only me and you
I wish they’d throw those losers right out of the room
Please look at the jury with those eyes
They’ll never think that you’re capable of lies
We all know that you really killed that kid,
Let’s make ’em think that that isn’t what you did
Let’s go, don’t wait, this trial’s almost over
Honest, don’t let this thing last forever
Forever and ever, don’t let this last forever
Forever and ever, don’t let this last forever
Let’s go, don’t wait, this trial’s almost over
Honest, don’t let this thing last forever
Forever and ever, don’t let this last forever
Forever and ever, don’t let this last forever
Forever and ever, don’t let this last forever
Forever and ever, don’t let this last forever
Sling us a web, you’re the Spider Man, by Weird Al
(Parody of “Piano Man”)
Poor Peter Parker was pitiful
Couldn’t have been any shier
Mary Jane still wouldn’t notice him
Even if his hair was on fire
But then one day he went to that science lab
That mutated spider came down
Oh and now Peter crawls over everyone’s walls
And he’s swingin’ all over town
La la la didy dah
La la lily da da dum
Sling us a web you’re the Spiderman
Sling us a web tonight
‘Cause we’re all in the mood for a hero now
And there’s evil-doers to fight
Now Harry the rich kid’s a friend of his
Who horns in on Mary Jane
But to his great surprise
It seems she prefers guys
Who can kiss up-side down in the rain
“With great power comes great responsibility”
That’s the catch phrase of old Uncle Ben
If you missed it, don’t worry they’ll say the line
Again and again and again
La la la didy dah
La la didy da da dum
Now Norman’s a billionaire scientist
Who never had time for his son
And then somthin’ went screwy
And before you knew he
was trying to kill everyone
Then he’d ridin’ around on that glider-thing
And he’d throw in that weird pumpkin bomb
Yes, he’s wearin’ that dumb Power Rangers mask
But he’s scarier without it on
*harmonica*
Sling us a web you’re the Spiderman
Sling us a web tonight
‘Cause you’re brave and you’re strong and so limber now
But where’d you come up with those tights
It’s a pretty sad day at the funeral
Norman Osbourne has bitten the dust
And I heard Harry said he wants Spiderman dead
Ah but his buddy Pete he can trust
Oh and M.J. is all hot for Peter now
Ah but Peter he just shuts her down
Mary Jane don’t you cry, you can give it a try
Again when the sequel comes around
La la la didy dah
La la didy da da dum
Sling us a web you’re the Spiderman
Sling us a web tonight
‘Cause we all sure could use us a hero now
We think that you’ll do alright
15- I’ve had that on my iPod for a while, as well as Yoda. LOVE Weird Al.
25–Ha, that’s a good one. “But he’s scarier without it on…”
23- I sing it like this.
Joy to the world!
Cuz Barney’s dead
We BAR BE QUED his HEAD!
Don’t worry bout the body
We flushed it down the potty
And around and around it goes
Until the house explodes
Jo-OY to the wrold
Cuz BARNney’s DEAD!
Classic. Then, me and my friend’s version of Jingle Bells-
Dashin through the snow
On a pair of broken skis
Over the hills we go
Crashin into trees!
The snow is turning red
I think I lost my head
I woke up in the hospital
The doctor said I’m dead!
OH! Jingle bells,
Batman smells,
Chicken laid an egg
Batmobile lost a wheel,
And the Joker played ballet!
Batman in the kitchen
Robin in the hall
Joker in the bathroom
Peeing on the wall!
And then something else goes there, I’m not sure what. The reason it is “Chicken laid an egg” is that my name is Robin, and, well, bad experience with name calling…))
26- I also have both memorized.
To the tune of “Frosty the Snowman”:
Otzi the iceman
Was an ancient, frozen soul.
With a copper ax and some blue tatoos
And some snowshoes shaped like bowls
It must have been quite a surprise
When the hikers Otzi found
They screamed until their cheeks were red
And kept running around
Otzi the iceman
Had long since passed away
So they all said “Run and tell everyone
We’ll be on the news today!”
Down in the village
All the experts made a plan
“We’ll send a chopper to that ledge
And bring down the iceman!”
They rushed him down
The streets of town
In, past the museum shop
And since that day in ’91, our learning’s never stopped
Otzi the iceman’s
Stuff is now on display
And the folks walk by and you hear them sigh
“Oh, those far-off ancient days.”
5 – I know the third one (with a few changes and without the 911 part) and another version of the first one:
deck the halls with marv and harry
falalalalalalala
make their christmas not so merry
and some more stuff like that
Anyone ever heard “Jingle Bombs” by Achmed the Dead Terrorist? (Jeff Dunham)
32- Knock Knock?
Who’s There?
ME! I KILL YOU!
I love all of jeff dunham’s characters.
Hickory Dickory Dock
Two Mice Ran up the Clock
The clock struck one and the other escaped with severe injuries
Starlight, Star bright,
billionth star I see tonight,
I wish I may, I wish I might,
%&$#, it’s a sattelite.
oh, yeah, all arrogant worms songs on YT are awesome
I’ve heard this version:
Star light, star bright
First star I see tonight.
I wish to fly, I wish to go-
Nuts, it’s just a UFO!
That’s a good version too.
Cheese is good.
Cheese is fine.
I like Cheese all the time.
A. American
B. Brie.
C. Chedder.
D. Dry Jack.
E. Edam.
F. Feta.
G. Gorgonzola.
H. Havarti.
Cheese so good. Cheese so fine. It’s really really good all the really really time.
I. Idiazabel.
J. Jalapeno.
K. Kazuri.
L Limburger.
M. Mozzarella.
N. Neufchatal.
O. Oaxaca.
P. Provolone.
All this cheese you can’t resist! All this cheese you shouldn’t miss!
Q, Quesa fresco.
R. Romano.
S. Swiss.
T. Tilsit.
U. Ubriaco.
V. Vasterbottonost.
W. Wellington.
X. Xanadu.
Now we are almost done! THere is only 2, then 1!
Y. Yorkshire blue!
And Z. Zamorano!
Cheese! It’s cheesy! And really very wheezy! It makes you wanna…… *munching sound* *smacking of lips* *sigh*
Gurgle. I misspelled those very badly.
i had a love that was so bright.
I used to dream of her each night
and then rush to her side every morning(OOOOOO)
i had her all to myself, we never noticed anyone else.
we didn’t even hear the radio warnings,
Our love was no joke, you know it was the talk of downtown Tokyo,
we’ll be happy forever i promised her,
but just as i proposed, her feet were made to touch her nose as she was crushed
by a Japanese monster.
ahhh, ahhh, ahhhh, AHHHHHH GODZILA!
CHORUS:
Our love was so true, but now shes 3″2,
and she used to be 5″11
her death was unintentional, but now shes 2 dimentional
my angel is truly in heaven.
she was the one i kissed and hugged ’till she was crushed like a bug
i guess its hard to see a monster above you,
she said she’d save her heart for me, but now its there for all to see,
and her last words to me were i lo-AHHHHHH!
CHORUS
take it george!
(guitar solo)
she was young(so young)
and sweet(so sweet)
but now shes part(shes part)
of the street(the street)
and i want (so much) to have her back (come back)
so i’ll take a putty knife so I can scrape her from the cracks…
(oh. we might need a wire brush)
CHORUS
my angel is truly in heaven
my angel is truly in he-A-ven
Not Mine
Oops. PARTY knife.
Can this thread include amusing/geeky science songs as well as parodies? I know a few good ones…
THE ONLY WEIRD AL SONG I CAN THINK OF THAT NO ONE HAS ALREADY DONE. “THE NIGHT SANTA WENT CRAZY”
WEIRD AL YANKOVIC (no reindeer were harmed in the making of this song)
Down in the workshop, all the elves are makin’ toys,
for the good gentle girls, and the good gentle boys.
When the boss busted in, and he scared ’em half to death,
had a rifle in his hands, cheap whiskey on his breath. From his beard to his boots, he was covered with ammo, like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yultide Rambo. And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye, “Merry christmas to all! Now yer all gonna die!!
The night Santa went crazy,
the night St. Nick went insane
he realized he was gettin the RAW deal.
Something finally musta’ snapped in his brain.
Well the workshop is gone now. He decided to bomb it.
Everywhere you’ll find pieces of Cupid and Comet.
And he tied up his helpers, and he held the elves hostage.
And he ground up poor Rudolph into–reindeer sausage!
He got Dancer and Prancer, with an old German Luger,
And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddie Krueger,
and he picked up a flamethrower, and he barbecued Blitzer,
and he took a big bite, he said “It tastes just like chicken!!”
The night Santa went crazy.
The night Kris Kringle went nuts.
Now you cant hardly walk around the north pole,
without steppin in reindeer guts.
Theres the National Guard and the FBI,
theres a van from the Eyewitness news,
and helicopters circlin’ round the skies
And the bullets are flyin’ the body counts’ risin’ and
everyons dying to know, “Oh, Santa why?”
My, my, my, my, my, my. He used to be such a jolly guy.
Its Virginia, now Santa’s doin time.
In a federal prison, for his infamous crime.
Now little friend, doncha cry no more tears.
With good behavior youll be out in seven hundred more years.
But now Vixen’s in therepy, and Donner’s still nerveous,
The elves all got jobs workin for the postal service,
And Mrs. Claus, she’s on the phone every night, with a lawer workin out the movie rights!
The night Santa went crazy.
The night St. Nicholas flipped.
Broke his back for some milk and cookies.
Sounds to me like he was gettin gypped.
[External links snipped! Sorry! — Rosanne]
Oops pardon the double post. Here is another Weird Al song.
Rye or the Kieser parodies Eye of the Tiger.
[Another external link bites the dust — Rosanne]
Hilarious song by Weird Al Yankovic. Look it up on YouTube, it’s so much funnier with the music, although it’s about ten minutes long. I don’t think it’s actually a parody of anything, but maybe it is.
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs
In the corner of the basement of the house
Half a block down the street from Jerry’s Bait Shop
You know the place
Well anyway, back then life was going swell
And everything was just peachy
Except of course for the undeniable fact
That every single morning my mother
Would make me a big ol’ bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast
Dawww!! Big bowl of sauerkraut
Every single mornin’! It was driving me crazy
I said to my mom, I said
Hey, mom, what’s up with all the sauerkraut
And my dear, sweet mother
She just looked at me
Like a cow looks at an oncoming train
And she leaned right down next to me and she said
It’s good for you
And then she tied me to the wall
And stuck a funnel in my mouth
And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut
Until I was 26 and a half years old
That’s when I swore that someday
Someday I would get outta that basement
And travel to a magical, far away place
Where the sun is always shining
And he air smells like warm root beer
And the towels are oh so fluffy
Where the shriners and the lepers
Play their ukuleles all day long
And anyone on the street
Will gladly shave your back for a nickel
Wacka wacka, doo doo, yeah
Well, let me tell you, people
It wasn’t long at all before my dream came true
Because the very next day
A local radio station had this contest to see
Who could correctly guess the number of molecules
In Leonard Nimoy’s butt
I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize
That’s right, a first class, one-way ticket
To Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!
Oh yeah
You know
I’d never been on a real airplane before
And I gotta tell ya, it was really great
Except that I had to sit between
Two large Albanian women
With excruciatingly severe body odor
And the little kid in back of me
Kept throwin’ up the whole time
The flight attendants ran out
Of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts
And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore
And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out
And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside
And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died
Except for me, you know why
‘Cause I had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Ah-ha-ha-ha. Ah-ha-ha. Aahhh
So I crawled from the twisted, burnin’ wreckage
I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days
Draggin’ along my big leather suitcase
And my garment bag and my tenor saxophone
And my 12-pound bowlin’ ball
And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel
But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn
Where the towels are oh so fluffy
And you can eat your soup
Right out of the ashtrays if you wanna
It’s OK, they’re clean.
Well, I checked into my room, and I turned down the A/C
And I turned on the SpectraVision
And I’m just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my
Pillow that I love so very, very much
When suddenly there’s a knock on the door
Well, now, who could that be?
I say, Who is it? No answer
Who is it? There’s no answer
Who is it!? They’re not sayin’ anything
So finally, I go over and I open the door
And just as I suspected
It’s some big, fat hermaphrodite
With a flock of seagulls haircut, and only one nostril
Oh, man, I hate it when I’m right
So, anyway, he bursts into my room
And he grabs my lucky snorkel, and I’m like
Hey, you can’t have that
That snorkel’s been just like a snorkel to me
And he’s like, Tough!
And I’m like, Give it!
And he’s like, Make me!
And I’m like, ‘kay!
So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus
And I bit off his ear
And he chewed off my eyebrows
And I took out his appendix
And he gave a colonic irrigation, yes indeed
You better believe it
And somehow in the middle of it all
The phone got knocked off the hook
And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice
And you know what it said?
I’ll tell ya what it said!
It said, If you’d like to make a call
Please hang up and try again.
If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator
If you’d like to make a call, please hang up and try again
If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator
In Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!
Well, to cut a long story short
He got away with my snorkel
But I made a solemn vow right then and there
That I would not rest, I would not sleep for an instant
Until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice.
But first, I decided to buy some donuts
So I got in my car and I drove over to the donut shop
And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter
And he says Yeah, what do ya want?
I said You got any glazed donuts?
He said No, we’re outta glazed donuts
I said Well, you got any jelly donuts?
He said No, we’re outta jelly donuts
I said You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?
He said No, we’re outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts
I said You got any cinnamon rolls?
He said No, we’re outta cinnamon rolls
I said You got any apple fritters?
He said No, we’re outta apple fritters
I said You got any bear claws?
He said Wait a minute, I’ll go check
No, we’re outta bear claws
I said Well, in that case – in that case, what do you have?
He says All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels
I said okay I’ll take that
So he hands me the box
And I open up the lid
And the weasels jump out
And they immediately latch onto my face
And start bitin’ me all over
Oh, man, they were just goin’ nuts
They were tearin’ me apart
You know, I think it was just about that time
That a little ditty started goin’ through my head
I believe it went a little somethin’ like this:
DOH! Get ’em off me! Get ’em off me
Ohhh! No, get ’em off, get ’em off
Oh, oh God, oh God! Oh, get ’em off me
Oh, oh God! Ah
AaaaaaahhhhhhhhhOhhhhhhhhhh
I ran out into the street
With these flesh-eating weasels all over my face
Wavin’ my arms all around and just runnin’
Runnin’, runnin’, runnin’ like a constipated wiener dog
And as luck would have it
That’s exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams
Her name was Zelda
She was a caligraphy enthusiast
With a slight overbite
And hair the color of strained peaches
I’ll never forget the very first thing she said to me
She said, Hey, you’ve got weasels on your face
That’s when I knew it was true love
We were inseparable after that
Aw, we ate together
We bathed together
We even shared the same piece
Of mint-flavored dental floss
The world was our burrito
So we got married
And we bought us a house
And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly
Oh we were so very, very, very happy, oh yeah.
But then, one fateful night, Zelda said to me
She said, Sweetie pumpkin?
Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?
I said, Woah!
Hold on now, baby!
I’m just not ready for that kind of a commitment!
So we broke up, and I never saw her again
But that’s just the way things go
In Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!
Anyway, things really started lookin’ up for me
Because about a week later
I finally achieved my lifelong dream
That’s right, I got me a part-time job at the Sizzler
I even made employee of the month
After I put out that grease fire with my face
Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that
I was gettin’ a lot of attitude
OK, like one time
I was out in the parkin’ lot
Tryin’ to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil
When I see this guy Marty
Tryin’ to carry a big ol’ sofa up the stairs all by himself
So I-I say to him, I say
Hey, you want me to help you with that?
And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes, No
I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw!
So I did.
And then he gets all indignant on me.
He’s like, Hey, man
I was just being sarcastic
Well, that’s just great
How was I supposed to know that
I’m not a mind reader, for cryin’ out loud
Besides, now he’s got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy
So what’s he complaining about
Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote
This guy comes up to me on the street
And he tells me he hasn’t had a bite in three days
Well, I knew what he meant
But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein
And he’s yelling and screaming and bleeding all over
And I’m like, hey, come on
Don’tcha get it
But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk
Bleeding and screaming, Aaaahhhh!
AaaaahhhhOhhhhh! Aaaaahhhh!
You know
Completely missing the irony of the whole situation
Man, some people just can’t take a joke, you know
Anyway, um…um…where was I
Kinda lost my train of thought
Uh, well, uh, OK, anyway
I-I know it’s kind of a roundabout way of saying it
But, I guess the whole point I’m tryin’ to make here is
I hate sauerkraut!
That’s all I’m really tryin’ to say. And, by the way
If one day you happen to wake up
And find yourself in an existential quandry
Full of loathing and self-doubt
And wracked with the pain
And isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence
At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing
That somewhere out there
In this crazy ol’ mixed-up universe of ours
There’s still a little place, called Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
I said A! (A!)
L! (L!)
B! (B!)
U! (U!)
…. querque! (querque!)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
Al… buquerque!
*burp*
41- Go for it!
SFTDP.
44- My cousins forced that upon me for a week, and now I’m sick of it.
A good friend (who, ironically, is in another school, and I see maybe about once a month for GS) told me this ridiculous parody for Keys to the Kingdom, by Garth Nix. I can’t remember the whole thing but I rememer this much-
On the first day of Christmas,
Garth Nix gave to me-
A house full of Trustees!
SOOOO funnay!
46-Please try. It sounds hilarious(Garth Nix fan here)
YAY!
Okay, I will upload the two I wrote. They are both about food. The second one is better than the first one, but they’re far from perfect.
House of Fruit (parody of House of Wolves by My Chemical Romance)
I know a thing about nutrition
Because the calories in pears
Have much more in their mission
Than oranges, ya see there
Well I said, hey-hey don’t you buy that
It’s an avocado, kid
You better get something with less fat
Or you’re gonna wish you did!
Well I bet the rotten fruit won’t sell
Everybody likes the fresh ones any –
WAY! Go down this way
This aisle’s 10 percent off
Think of how you’ll save
I will restock nearly every Tuesday
This aisle’s 10 percent off
Think of how you’ll save…
People come ‘round every week an’ grocery stores are jealous
They wish instead of here, the customers would come to them fellows!
Well I said, Come on, it’s not so bad just because I earn more money
I said, Come on, why don’t you guys stop acting so funny?
Well I bet the rotten fruit won’t sell
Everybody likes the fresh ones any –
WAY! Go down this way
This aisle’s 10 percent off
Think of how you’ll save
I will restock nearly every Tuesday
This aisle’s 10 percent off
Think of how you’ll save…
You better hurry over here ‘cause the berries are buy two get one free
You better buy some fruit and they’ll taste great, you’ll see
And as you running through the door
You just wish you’d bought some more
I’ve been a pretty awesome salesman – delivered fruit? – yep I will mail them
Anyway, go down this way
This aisle’s 10 percent off
Think of how you’ll save
I will restock nearly every Tuesday
This aisle’s 10 percent off
Think of how you’ll save…
Think of how you’ll save save save save save
Think of how you’ll save save save save save
Think of how you’ll save save save save save
Think of how you’ll save save save save save!!!!!!!!!
Pie Is Over (parody of Sky Is Over by Serj Tankian)
Everybody knows
Everybody knows
That you crave the whipped cream
Living in the hunger
Pie is over
Can’t you hear my stomach grumble?
Nearly starving, start to mumble
Even though there’s no dessert
The pie is over
Even though there’s no dessert
The pie is over
Someone out there might get hurt
The pie is over
Even though there’s no dessert
The pie is over
Behind closed doors lie
The pies ready to be eaten too
Are you starving with me
And all of my dinnermates
Your not-so-gentle persuasion
Has been known to get you anything
But somehow, but tonight, the pie is over
Can’t you hear my stomach grumble?
Nearly starving, start to mumble
lalala lalalalalala
lalala lalalalalala
Not even for the cream (lalala lalalalalala)
Not even for the cream (lalala lalalalalala)
Not even for the cream
Don’t you want me to eat?
Even though there’s no dessert
The pie is over
Even though there’s no dessert
The pie is over
Someone out there might get hurt
The pie is over
Even though there’s no dessert
The pie is over
Someone out there might get hurt
The pie is over
Even though there’s no dessert
The pie is over
Someone out there might get hurt
The pie is over
Even though there’s no dessert
The pie is over
The pie is over…ugh
(It’s about someone who would normally call out for dessert, but for some reason he isn’t, and everyone else is starving and wants their pie but he doesn’t ask for it. If that makes sense. I think I posted this on the Song Lyrics thread, too.)
I actually began this one here with help from Administrator Coontz.
Victor Von Doom
Gather ’round while I sing you of Victor Von Doom
The man from Latveria
With a cast-iron exterior.
Displaying his brilliance takes plenty of room,
So he longs for world conquest, does Victor Von Doom.
All his evil plans so drastic
Are ruined by those four fantastic
“When their rocket went up, I wish they’d gone boom!”
“But someday I’ll get them.” says Victor Von Doom
But if you’re woried about our heroes
Remember that Vic’s one of those zeroes
“All of my plans bring me nothing but gloom.”
“I’m really a failure.” says Victor Von Doom.
I wrote the first verse and then later added this one:
“Vic has good reason to wallow in gloom.
What makes him most mis’able
Is a woman invisible.
Since Sue and Reed Richards became bride and groom,
He’s sworn to possess her for Victor Von Doom.â€
Trapped In The Drive-Thru, by Weird Al (Parody of Trapped in the Closet, by R. Kelly)
Seven O’Clock in the evening
Watchin somethin’ stupid on TV
I’m zoned out on the sofa
When my wife comes in the room and sees me
She says “Is this ‘Behind the Music’
With Lynard Skynard?”
And I say “I don’t know.
Say, it’s gettin’ late…watcha wanna do for dinner?
She says “I kinda had a big lunch.
So I’m not super hungry.”
I said “Well you know, baby, I’m not starvin’ either
But I could eat.”
She said “So whadya have in mind?”
I said “I don’t know, what about you?”
She said “I don’t care–if you’re hungry, let’s eat.”
I said “That’s what we’re gonna do!”
“But first you gotta tell me
What it is you’re hungry for!”
And she says “Let me think…
…What’s left in our refrigerator?”
I said “Well, there’s tuna, I know.”
She said “That went bad a week ago!”
I said “Is the chili okay?”
She said “You finished that yesterday!”
I hopped up and I said
“I don’t know, do you want to get something delivered?”
She’s like “Why would I want to eat liver?
I don’t even like liver!”
I’m like “No, I said ‘delivered’.”
She’s like “I heard you say liver!”
I’m like “I should know what I said…”
She’s like “Whatever, I just don’t want any liver!”
Well I was gonna say something
But my cell phone started to ring
Now who could be callin’ me?
Well I checked my caller I.D.
It was just cousin Larry
Callin’ for the third time today…
My wife said “Let it go to voicemail.”
I said, “Okay.”
“Where were we? Oh, Dinner, Right
So what d’ya want to do?”
She said “Why don’t you whip up somethin in the kitchen?”
“Yeah,” I said, “Why don’t you?”
And then she said “Baby, can’t we just go out to dinner, please?”
I says “No”
She says “Yes”
I says “No”
She says “Yes”
I says “No”
She says “Yes…
…oh, here’s your keys”
I step a little bit closer
Say “OK, where you want to go?”
She says “How about The Ivy?”
I said “Yeah, well I don’t know…”
I don’t feel like gettin’ all dressed up
And eatin’ expensive food
She’s says “Olive Garden?”
I say “Nah, I’m not in the mood…
…And Burrito King would make me gassy
There’s no doubt”
She says “Just forget about it”
I said “No, I swear I’m gonna take you out!”
Then I get an idea
I says “I know what we’ll do!”
She says “What?”
I say “Guess”
She says “WHAT?”
I say “We’re going to the drive-thru!”
So we head out the front door
Open the garage door
Then I open the car doors
And we get in those car doors
Put my key in the ignition
And then I turn it sideways
Then we fasten our seat belts
As we pull out the driveway
Then we drive to the drive-thru
Heading off to the drive-thru
We’re approaching the drive-thru
Getting close to the drive-thru!
Almost there at the drive-thru
Now we’re here at the drive thru
Here in line at the drive-thru
Did I mention the drive-thru?
Well here we are
In the drive-thru line, me and her.
Cars in front of us, cars in back of us.
All just waiting to order
There’s some idiot in a Volvo
With his brights on behind me
I lean out the window and scream
“Hey, whatcha tryin’ to do, blind me?”
My wife says “Maybe we should park…
…We could just go eat inside.”
I said “I’m wearin’ bunny slippers
So I ain’t leavin’ this ride…”
Now a woman on a speaker box
Is sayin’ “Can I take your order, please?”
I said “Yes indeed, you certainly can
We’d like two hamburgers with onions and cheese.”
Then my wife says
“Baby, hold on, I’ve changed my mind!
I think I’m gonna have a chicken sandwich
Instead, this time”
I said “You always get a cheeseburger!”
She says “That’s not what I’m hungry for.”
I put my head in my hands and screamed,
“I don’t know who you are anymore!”
The voice on the speaker says
“I don’t have all day!”
I said “Then, take our order,
And we’ll be on our way!
I wanna get a chicken sandwich
And I want a cheeseburger, too
She’s like “You want onions on that?”
I’m like “Yeah, I already said that I do…
…Plus we need curly fries
And don’t you dare forget it!
And two medium root beers
No, just one, we’ll split it.”
Then I said “I’m guessin’ that
You’re probably not too bright…
So read me back my order
Let’s make sure you got it right.”
She says “One, you want a chicken sandwich.
Two, you want a cheeseburger
Three, curly fries, and a large root beer”
“Stop, don’t go no further!”
“I never ordered a large rootbeer
I said medium, not large!”
Then she says “We’re havin’ a special,
I supersized you at no charge.”
“Oh.” And that’s all
I could say, was “Oh.”
And she says “Now there is something else
That I really think you should know.
You can have unlimited refills
For just a quarter more…”
I say “Great, except we’re in the drive thru…
So what would I want that for?”
Then she says “Wait a minute
Your voice sounds so familiar…hey, is this Paul?
And my wife is all like “No, that ain’t Paul,
Now tell me, who’s this Paul?
She says “Oh, he’s just some guy
Who goes to school with me.
I sat behind him last year
And I copied off him in Geometry.
I said “I know a guy named Paul.
He used to be my plumber
He was prematurely bald
And he moved to Pittsburgh last summer.
He also had bladder problems
And a really bad infection on his toe.”
And she said “Mister, please, you can stop right there,
That’s way more than I needed to know!”
And then we both were quiet
And things got real intense
Then she says “NEXT WINDOW PLEASE,
THAT’LL BE FIVE DOLLARS AND EIGHTY TWO CENTS.”
So we inched ahead in line
Movin’ painfully slow
I got a little bored
So I turned on the radio…
*very loud rock music plays*
*click* Turned it off
Because my wife was getting a headache
So we both just sat there quietly
For her sake.
Then I looked at her
And she looked back at me
And I said “Um,
I think you have somethin’ in your teeth.”
She turned away from me
And then turned back and said “Did I get it?”
I said “Yeah. Well, I mean, most of it…
But hey, ya know, don’t sweat it.”
Then she said “How about now?”
I said “Yeah, almost.
There’s still a little bit there
But don’t worry, it’s probably just a piece of toast.”
Now we’re at the pay window
Or whatever you call it
Put my hand in my pocket
I can’t believe there’s no wallet!
And the lady at the window’s like,
“Well, well that’ll be $5.82.”
I turn around to my wife, and say
“How much have you got on you?”
She just rolls her eyes and says
“I’ll pay for this, I guess.”
So she reaches into her purse
And pulls out the American Express
I hand it to the lady
And she says “Oh, dear.
It’s gotta be cash only
We don’t take credit cards here.”
I took back the card and said
“Gee, really? Well that sucks.”
And that’s when I found out
My wife was only carryin’ three bucks.
I said “I thought you were
Going to hit the ATM today”
She says “I never got around to it
So where’s your wallet anyway?
And I said “Nevermind,
Just help me to find some change…”
Now the lady at the window
Is lookin’ at me kinda strange…
And she says “Mister, please,
We gotta move this line along”
I said “Now hold your stinkin’ horses lady,
We won’t be long.”
We looked around inside the glove-box
And check the mat beneath my feet
I found a nickel in the ashtray
And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the seats
Before long I had a little pile
Of coins of every sort
The lady counts it up and says
“You’re still about a dollar short”
And now my woman’s got this weird look
Frozen on her face
She screams, “you know
I wasn’t even really hungry in the first place”
And so I turned around
To the cashier again
I shrugged and said “Okay,
Forget the chicken sandwich then”
So I pick up my change
Pick up my receipt
And I drive to the pickup window
Man, I just can’t wait to eat
And now we see this acne ridden
Kid about sixteen
Wearin’ a dorky name tag that says
“Hello, my name is Eugene.”
And he hands me a paper bag
I look him in the eyes
And I say to him “Hey, Eugene,
Can I get some ketchup for my fries?”
Well he looks at me
And I look at him
And he looks at me
And I look at him
And he looks at me
And I look at him
And he says “I’m sorry
What did you want again?”
I say “Ketchup!”
And he says “Oh yeah, that’s right…
…I just spaced out there for a second
I’m really kind of burnt tonight.”
And then he hands me the ketchup
And now we’re finally drivin’ away
And the food is drivin’ me mad
With its intoxicating bouquet
I’m starvin’ to death
By the time we pull up at the traffic light
I say “Baby, gimme that burger,
I just gotta have a bite!”
So she reaches in the bag
And pulls out the burger
And she hands me the burger
And I pick up the burger
And then I unwrap the paper
I bite into those buns
And I just can’t believe it
They forgot the onions!
(51) Your post needs this one to follow:
I have always thought in the back of my mind, “Cheese and Onions”.
I have always thought that the world was unkind, “Cheese and Onions”.
Do I have to spell it out ?
“C-H-E-E-S-E A-N-D O-N-I-O-N-S”, oh no.
Man or machine (Man or machine) Keep yourself clean (Keep yourself clean)
Or be a has-been (Ah-ah) Like Dinosaur, oh oh-oh.
Man of advise (Man of advise) For ev’rything nice (Ev’rything nice)
You’d better think twice (Ah-ah) At least once more, oh oh.
performed by The Rutles* in “All You Need is Cash”
*Neil Innes, Eric Idle, and assorted accomplices
I wrote one when I was supposed to write a book report for school…
PICTURES OF HOLLIS WOODS SPOILER.
Pictures of Hollis Woods
by muselover
To the tune of “American Pie”
A long, long time ago
When gas still cost $2 a gallon
Hollis Woods was mad
She got stuck with Josie Cahill
And her love for her was off the scale
But there was still something very sad
Josie was old, and forgetful
She knew this fact, so she was fretful
Hollis knew if the mustard
woman found out she’d be flustered
She’d move Josie into a home
And Hollis would be on the roam
Hollis knew that she’d be lone-ly
So they ran away
Oh why, why, little Hollis Woods why
Did you ever leave the Regans, don’t you know that they cried
They looked for you, till they gave up and sighed,
Saying “She left because she made us fight,â€
“She left because she made us fightâ€
I think I’ll go and make some more verses now.
Whoops. In line 2, it should be “when gas still cost $2 a gallon”. Could someone fix that? In return, I’ll write another parody.
[Lyrics Gnome to the rescue. *bows*]
AAAH! I just misspelled still!
[Typo Gnome was also in the vicinity. *also bows*]
I wanted to do a song about the Muse Schism to the tune of “American Pie”, but it’s such a long song!
56- I only wrote one verse…
47- I’m going to ask her at the next GS meeting to email the song to me. Then I’ll post it here. Garth Nix fans UNITE! *does secret “Garth-Nix-ROX MY SOX” handshake*
47) I’m a Garth Nix fan too ! (especially “the old kingdom)
All my finite parodies start with “Happy Birthday”, so they’re on the other thread…
Okay, I think Crazy Titan Nerd will enjoy this one I did a while ago to the tune of “Summer Nights (Tell Me More)” from Grease:
Saturn Nights (Tell Me More).
Reporters:
Saturn visit, had me a blast
But Voyager, went by so fast
And those photos stirred something in me
Saw those moons, cool as can be
V’ger days, all gone away, ooh, but now Cassini nights
Spokesperson:
The press conference will begin now.
Reporters:
Wa wa wa-
Tell me more, tell me more
Is it really that far?
Tell me more, tell me more
From where we are?
Spokesperson:
Nine point five AU
‘Way from the sun
In ’97, the mission begun
29 years, for Saturn to go ’round
And in water, it would not drown
(It would float!)
Sixth from the sun, Cassini’s begun oh, oh the Saturn nights
Wa wa wa-
Reporters:
Tell me more, tell me more
What makes those rings?
Tell me more, tell me more
Yes, what kind of things?
Spokesperson:
Bits of rock, and bits of ice
This is Titan, isn’t it nice?
Oh, this job, it really rocks
They’ll be more pictures, at ten o’clock
Saturn’s rings, what gorgeous things, and oh, oh the Saturn nights
The Twelve Pains of Christmas.
The first thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
Is finding a Christmas tree
The second thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Angry husband: Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree
The third thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
Man getting over being drunk: Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree
The fourth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
Exhausted man: Sending Christmas cards
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree
The fifth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
Five months of bills!
Sending Christmas cards
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree
The sixth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Nervous wife: Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills!
Oh, I hate those Christmas cards!
Hangovers
Rigging up these lights!
And finding a Christmas tree
The seventh thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Nervous wife’s husband: The Salvation Army
Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills!
Sending Christmas cards
Oh, geez!
I’m tryin’ to rig up these lights!
And finding a Christmas tree
The eighth thing at Christmas that such a pain to me:
Whining kid: I WANNA TRANSFORMER FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!
Charities,
And whataya mean “YOUR in-laws”?!?
Five months of bills!
Oh, making out these cards
Honey, get me a beer, huh?
What, we have no extension cords?!?
And finding a Christmas tree
The ninth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
A tired father: Finding parking spaces
DADDY, I WANT SOME CANDY!!!!
Donations!
Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills!
Writing out those Christmas cards
Hangovers!
Now why the hell are they blinking?!?!?
And finding a Christmas tree
The tenth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
A mother: “Batteries Not Included”
No parking spaces
BUY ME SOMETHIN’!!!
Get a job, ya bum!
Oh, facing my in-laws!
Five months of bills!
Yo-ho, sending Christmas cards
Oh, geez, look at this!
One light goes out, they ALL go out!!!
And finding a Christmas tree
The eleventh thing of Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
A male couch potato: Stale TV specials
“Batteries Not Included”
No parking spaces
DAD, I GOTTA GO TA BATHROOM!!
Charities!
She’s a witch…I hate her!
Five months of bills!
Oh, I don’t even KNOW half these people!
Oh, who’s got the toilet paper, huh?
Get a flashlight…I blew a fuse!!
And finding a Christmas tree
The twelfth thing of Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Two men: Singing Christmas carols
Stale TV specials
“Batteries Not Included”
No parking?!?
WAAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAAH!
Charities!
Gotta make ’em dinner!
Five months of bills!
I’m not sendin’ them this year, that’s it!
Shut up, you!
FINE! YOU’RE SO SMART, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!!!
And finding a Christmas tree!
.61 – GAPAs, will you make sure this doesn’t turn up in the recent comments box?
62 – Yeah, I only realized that it didn’t have a period for way too long after I posted it.
217. Kokonilly | December 16th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Here comes the snow (do do do do)
Here comes the snow
And I say
It’s freezing
Little darling
It’s been a lovely little summer
Little darling
It seems like years since it’s been warm
Here comes the snow
Here comes the snow
And I say
It’s freezing
Little darling
The smiles are fading from the faces
Little darling
It seems like years since it’s been warm
Here comes the snow (do do do do)
Here comes the snow
And I say
It’s freezing
Snow, snow, snow, here it comes (four times)
Little darling
I see the ice is coming back
Little darling
It seems like years since it’s been here
Here comes the snow (do do do do)
Here comes the snow
It’s freezing
Here comes the snow (do do do do)
Here comes the snow
Hark the herald angels shout,
one more day and we’ll be out,
one more day of misery,
in this penitentiary.
Through the sleet and though the snow,
out those g** d***** gates we’ll go,
singing loudly all the way,
what a joyous day today
The Mean Bunny Song, a parody of the Mean Kitty Song.
I got this little bunny and I named him Dave
He was the nicest little bunny, but now I’m his slave
This little bunny is pink like a pink jelly bean
This little bunny is evilus you know what I mean
He’s an evil little bunny, tries to bite off my hands
Tries to make me a zombie any way that he can
I could give him a toy, but he’d rather have the world
It’s a matter of time before his plans unfurl
You could shoot him with a laser and he just won’t care
Bunny blew up my table, my couch, and my chair
Always zombifying people or just killing them dead
And freaking people out by detaching his head
He’s so full of venom and easily made mad
Adopting him, that idea was bad
Little Dave attacks humans at the slightest provocation
Renamed him William, King Of Bunny Nations
Hey little Willy what is with all the fight
Little bitty bunny wanna bite bite bite
Hey little Willy what is with all the fight
Little bitty bunny wanna zombify
Hey little Willy what is with all the fight
Little bitty bunny wanna bunnify
Hey little Willy what is with all the fight
Little bitty bunny wanna bite
Where’d you go
Are you stalking me?
Are you in your secret lair, quite possibly?
Ears pricked up so I’ll get caught
Ready to leap with everything that you got
I know you’re probably watching me from across the room
Concentrating contemplating on zombifying me soon
You’re not invisible bunny, I’m gonna find you first
Come out come out before I make things worse
I’ve seen where you hide and I know where you’ve been
Hey bunny why don’t you give in
Even if you try to sneak up on me, I’m prepared
I’ve got my waltz music on and I’m not scared
I think I hear an HPB under the bed
I know you’re making noises just to mess with my head
You can chase me all you want, but I’ll get away
You always seem to find me first, but not today
Hey little Willy what is with all the fight
Little bitty bunny wanna bite bite bite
Hey little Willy what is with all the fight
Little bitty bunny wanna zombify
Hey little Willy what is with all the fight
Little bitty bunny wanna bunnify
Hey little Willy what is with all the fight
Little bitty bunny wanna bite
I’ve got him cornered
And now he’s mine
Gonna get depigmentized this time
I’ll snatch him up fast before he can blink and then…
Aw man! He’s escaped down the sink
What is with this bunny? I’m confused
He’s got a bed but it’s never been used
In every waking moment, bunny’s out for the fight
And he escapes from me, either that or bite
How could I let this creature live inside of my home
Perhaps the shelter will take him, I’ll call them on the phone
I’m very afraid to leave this bunny alone
William will destroy everything that I own
Look in his eyes, I kinda feel strange
I can feel my body and mind start to change
I’ve got pink ears, white eyes, and I,
Feel a strange urge to BUNNIFY!
Hey little Willy what is with all the fight
Little bitty bunny wanna bite bite bite
Hey little Willy what is with all the fight
Little bitty bunny wanna zombify
Hey little Willy what is with all the fight
Little bitty bunny wanna bunnify
Hey little Willy what is with all the fight
Little bitty bunny wanna bite
It’s like a complete manual of bunny behavior. *shudders*
66) Why don’t HPBs like waltz music ???
I think it’s the asymmetry of the beats: Odd numbers and asymmetry in general seem to interfere with something in the bunnies’ brains. HPBs like things to come in multiples of two (2, 4, 8, 16, 32, etc.). It’s very deep-rooted in their nature and may have something to do with having two long ears. If a bunny loses one of its ears, its friends desert it and may even turn on it and destroy it.
Music in three-four time appears to be part of the same phenomenon. Depending on its volume, its effects may range from distracting to unbearable. Some lagopsychologists believe that it knocks out their higher brain functions, causing them to turn back into ordinary bunnies until the music stops. In any case, hot-pink bunnies flee from it if they can.
Good job Rainbowstar!!! *turns on waltz music*
Fifty Years and Beyond, to the tune of American Pie. (Or The Saga Begins, if you prefer)
A long, long time ago
I still can remember how
Colliers mag would make me smile
And when AMBA got the chance
Our satellites would up there dance
We wouldn’t have to wait a long while.
But that October made us shiver
Challenge that those beeps delivered
And Vanguard on the launchpad.
The president was so sad.
I remember, my friends cried:
“Waa! Our dominance has died!â€
But I thought not of national pride
The day we learned to fly
I was singing…
Chorus:
My, my, oh just look at it fly!
See the light in the night
Oh, oh, way up so high!
And this small boy, looking to the sky
Said “I want to fly.â€
I said, “I want to fly.â€
This would become my greatest love
I wished that I could rise above
To float and climb and grow
I forgot ‘bout rock and roll
Sputnik captured my soul
Our response, it was not slow.
“Well, hurry it up Jim
‘Cause now it’s really sink or swim.
Hurry up, ground crews,
Or we’ll all sing the blues.â€
Would you believe, Explorer flew?
And dogs and monkeys up there, too.
It’s people next, I guess.
The day we learned to fly.
Chorus
Now for fifty years, we’ve held our own
I’m amazed how far we’ve flown
I’m glad it’s not like how it used to be
Cold warriors and ice queens
Injected fear into the dream
The hopes that belonged to you and me.
Oh, but when Apollo’s crews looked down
At our small home of blue and brown
We realized we were one
That’s how it must be done
‘Cause even those who followed Marx
Were celebrating in the parks
As Eagle landed in the dark
The day we learned to fly.
Chorus
Around the Earth, our shuttles trilled
But the world forgot until-
Tangled smoke, flaming debris
It all landed in the sea
The tiles in the grass
So many questions asked.
The leaders saw this recent doom
As a sign to change our tune
Improvements must be made
Oh, that’s what the disasters bade
But we’ll get back on the field
We’ve come too far to up and yield
Remember the speech revealed
The day we learned to fly.
Chorus
Oh, and we all came there to that place
For once again, we’d fly in space
Now time to start again
Fixed the problems, found the trick
Return to flight, get up there quick!
Let us feel the fire once again!
And I watched pad thirty-nine
The atmosphere was so sublime
Nothing in heaven or hell
Could break Discovery’s spell
The flames climbed high into the night
The Cape was bathed in brilliant light
We all laughed in wild delight
The day we learned to fly.
Chorus
So no more shall we sing the blues
Back to the moon’s the latest news
As if we’d never, ever turned away
They’re celebrating on that shore
Where Eleven took off, years before
Because this time we will be there to stay
In the workshops now they scheme
Once again we dream the dream
Though not a word is spoken
Our chains, they will be broken!
But the people I’ll admire most
Will be the first on Mars’ coast
Man, that will be quite a boast
The day we learned to fly.
Chorus
Repeat Chorus
Apollo Guys, to the tune of One Republic’s Apologize. Actually not written by me, if you can believe it:
Watching on the screen
Saturn V lifts off the ground
After many sims,
Flight control has got it down
You say that its not easy, but
Astronauts are all moonbound and wait
Were watching them on TV
Walking on the lunar ground and say
We did it, Apollo guys
We did iiiiit
In 1969
We landed (on. the. moon)
Well take another chance, take a shot
Do it all for you
Orion and Ares take us back
Back to the mooooon yeaaah yeaaah
Its time for us to move ahead
Having breakthroughs each daaay
The past we have to thank,
Our progress is because of yoooou
And we all say
We did it, Apollo guys
We did iiiiit
In 1969
We landed (on. the. moon)
We did it, Apollo guys
We did iiiiit
In 1969
We landed (on. the. moon)
We did it, Apollo guys, yeaaaah
In 1969, yeaaaah
Watching on the screen
Saturn V lifts off the ground.
72- I don’t know what else I would expect from you, Kai, besides a parody about rocketships
My favorite parody of I Kissed A Girl! Grape and I (Spumoni and the rest of us had a falling out because she insulted Frosting’s mother!) made a music video on my phone with an orange! There’s only a chorus, though.
I kicked a squirrel
And I liked it!
It did a double backflip.
I kicked a squirrel
Just to try it!
I hope EPA doesn’t find it!
YAY!
Muse Academy, based on the “Underground Tunnels” series of adventures on the Muse Academy RPG this past May-June. To the tune of Weird Al’s “Jurassic Park”:
I recall the time that Adeia found that old map.
And before long, we were talking to statues.
Now I’m being chased by a cannibalistic bunny
And I just really hope I don’t get chewed.
MA Park is frightening in the dark
And now we’re all lost underground
Someone’s down here with us, that is plain.
Big boulders just like Indy
And I think it’s getting windy
And we’ll never come back down here again
Ohhhhh no!
I must say I’ve got a small distraction
And fighting neo-Nazis always makes me kind of mad
And then inside a cave there was Darth Vader
So I’m thinking… “Oh my god, this day is really bad!”
MA Park is frightening in the dark
And now we’re all lost underground
Book baddies up to something once again
And now they’re out to harm us
And it really does alarm us
Good thing that Adeia’s found a cosmic friend
Ohhhh ohhhh!
*Instrumental*
MA Park is frightening in the dark
And now we’re all lost underground
What a hectic school day this has been
Sure didn’t want to meet ’em
But at least now that we’ve beat ’em
We can never, ever come back down here again!
Ohhhh no! Woah no!
After listening to to the musified version of ‘Mickey Mouse Club’, I wrote some more Museblog versions of Disney songs. Two of them are very incomplete having only the first line in one, and just the chorus in the second.
Blog First Post (to the tune of True Love’s Kiss (Enchanted))
I’ve been dreaming of a blog first post.
Just a Minute of Museblog (to the tune of Just a Spoon Full of Sugar (Mary Poppins)):
Just a minute of Museblog helps me do my schoolwork,
Do my schoolwork, do my schoolwork.
Just a minute of Museblog helps me do my schoolwork,
In a most productive way.
And, the only one which is totally complete, A Whole New Site (to the tune of A Whole New World (Aladdin));
I can show you the blog,
And all of its cool features.
Tell me, my friend,
Now when did you last throw a custard pie?
I can show you roleplays.
Alter ego threads, others,
All with most friendly people,
Spread the whole blog wide!
A whole new site,
A new fantastic set of friends
And when you’re mad it life
or just tired
you’ll have a place to go.
A whole new site.
A dazzling place to think of things.
And with all these friends
It never ends
I’ll always have a whole new site to view
(Always have a whole new site to view)
Unbelievable SCAMPs.
Indescribable GAPAs.
Moderating my posts
In just a brief minute or two!
A whole new site.
A hundred thousand things to do.
I’m like a shooting star,
I’ve come so far,
From all the sites where I used to be
(A whole new site)
Every thread a surprise.
(With new activities to pursue)
Every moment, new letters.
I’ll read it anywhere
I’ve time to spare
I’m glad you shared this whole new site with me.
A whole new site (repeat)
That’s where we’ll be (repeat)
A thrilling change
A wondrous place
For anyone.
Please don’t tell me parts of the last one are incredibly odd, I know. No, I don’t have the entire song memorized, I have it on my Ipod. (Yes I do. Yes, I am immature.)
There’s nothing immature about that. ‘A Whole New World’ is a great song and I listen to it on YouTube from time to time.
Remember in my Space Age Smiley Story how that Russian guy started singing a song from High School Musical?
I originally wanted to do a full “Space Age Musical” parody, something I will get around to… eventually.
The Beatles song parodies are cracking me up. A couple of my friends and I wrote a parody of “I Kissed a Girl” a while ago. . .
I kissed a squirrel
And I liked it
Its taste was acorn-tastic
I kissed a squirrel
Just to try it
I hope my mother don’t mind it
It looked so wrong
It felt so right
I hope I don’t contract rabies tonight
I kissed a squirrel
HEY!!!!
We also wrote a parody of “I Feel Fine” that I can’t remember.
77- Well, no, but I am rather immature in other ways anyway. I just don’t show it on MB. I think I’m mostly growing out of it though.
Written by my friends, adapted by me:
HATE STORY (parody of Love Story by Taylor Swift).
We were both young when I first hurt you
I close my eyes and the flashback starts
I’m standing there
Where I beat you in the summer air
I see the lights, see the killers, the shotguns
See you make your way through the crowd to say “Goodbye”
Later, would I try
To kill you, Romeo? ‘Cause you were Romeo and you were throwin’ grenades
And my daddy said “Stay away from Juliet”
And I was laughing on the staircase, begging you “Please please go”
And I said
“Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone
I’ll be waiting with a dagger and a gun
You’ll be the deer and I’ll be the huntress
It’s a hate story, baby, just say yes”
So I sneak out to the garden to beat you
You keep quiet, cause you’re dead if I see you
Close your eyes
Cause you’ll be dead in a little while
Cause you were Romeo and I was comin’ to get you
And my daddy said “You’re gonna die today”
And I was laughing on the staircase, knowing that you can’t go
And I said
“Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone
I’ll be waiting with a dagger and a gun
You’ll be the deer and I’ll be the huntress
It’s a hate story, baby, just say yes.
Romeo, I hate you, don’t try to tell me how to feel
The fact is difficult, but it’s real
Yes, be afraid, cause you’re gonna die
It’s a hate story, baby, that’s it…. bye”
Well I got tired of waiting
Wondering if you were ever gonna die
My hate in you was… gaining
When I met you in the woods one dark night
And I said
“Romeo, finally, I’ve got you here all alone
I’ll kill you and they will never know
No one will help you, so don’t try to run”
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a gun
And said
“It’s your turn, Juliet, they’ll never hear you scream and shout
I’ll kill you and they’ll never find out
I talked to your dad, he said go ahead
It’s a hate story, baby, just say yes”
We were both young when he first shot me
*laughs hysterically* My friend hates that song. I’ll have to show her that.
There should be a video on YouTube.
Row, row, row your boat, Thesaurus style:
Propel, propel, propel you craft placidly down the liquid sollution. Extaticly, extaticly, extaticly existence is but an illusion.
66- *clapclapclap* It just completely sums up all of HPB culture!
It’s a jolly hour on the MuseBlog.(Parody of ‘It’s a jolly holiday with Mary’ from the movie ‘Mary Poppins’.)
It’s a jolly hour on the MuseBlog.
MuseBlog makes the bunnies so bright
When blogs are dumb and ordinary
MuseBlog makes them see what’s right!
Oh, colors are all blooming all around it
Mr. Joe is smiling at a glove!
When MuseBlog is on screen
You’re never mean
No wonder that It’s MuseBlog that we love!
Isn’t it a glorious blog?
With arguments of kitties and dogs?
I feel like I could RP!
Have you ever seen
A blog so un-mean?
It’s sweet litttle bunnies are crystal clear!
Oh, it’s a jolly hour on the MuseBlog!
No wonder that it’s Muse blog that we love!
GLOVE?!
Well, Mr. Joe’s that dumb, isn’t he?
This thread has died.
In an attempt to revive it, here’s one from Weird Al:
You’re Pitiful(parody of “You’re Beautiful”)
My life is brilliant
What, was I too early?
Oh, sorry… Should I – do you wanna start over, or…
Keep going? Okay… now? Now?
My life is brilliant
Your life’s a joke
You’re just pathetic
You’re always broke
Your homemade Star Trek uniform
Really ain’t impressin’ me
You’re sufferin’ from delusions of
Adequacy
You’re pitiful
You’re pitiful
You’re pitiful, it’s true
Never had a date
That you couldn’t inflate
And you smell repulsive too
What a bummer bein’ you
Well, you just can’t dance
And forget romance
Everybody you know still calls you…
Farty-Pants
But you’ll always have a job – well, I mean…
As long as you still can work that Slurpee machine
You’re pitiful
You’re pitiful
You’re pitiful, it’s true
You’re half-undressed
Eatin’ chips off your chest
While youre playin’ Halo 2
No one’s classier than you
La la la la, la la la la
La la la la loser
You’re pitiful
You’re pitiful
You’re pitiful, it’s true
Your dog would much rather play fetch by itself
You still live with your mom and you’re 42
Guess you’ll never grow a clue
Well, it just sucks to be you
When I realized High School Musical and Hubble Servcing Mission had the same initials, I just had to do this:
COSTAR (To the tune of “Start of Something New”)
(Two astronomers stand in spotlights on the dark stage. A screen behind them shows blurry images)
FIRST ASTRONOMER:
Living on this small world…
SECOND ASTRONOMER:
Couldn’t understand…
FIRST:
That all this would happen…
SECOND:
‘Cause we took the chance.
FIRST:
Who could’ve believed in
The glory we’d see?
SECOND:
Now it’s opened our eyes
To all these possibilities.
BOTH:
I know, that something has changed
Never saw this way
And right here, tonight
(Flash of light, screen changes to show newer, improved images)
This could be the start
Of something new
If this thing works
We’ll be glad, it’s true
And now, through robotic eyes
We’ll all do our part
And find so much new!
FIRST:
Now, who’d have ever thought that
Those boys would get it right
SECOND:
And the sky looks so much brighter
With COSTAR inside.
BOTH:
We know, that something has changed
Never seen this way
We know it for real
This could be the start,
Of something new
It feels so right
To see so true
And now, as we watch the skies
I feel in my heart
The start of something new
(First grabs up paper and rushes over to second, pointing)
FIRST:
And this is how it happens
In those galaxies
We didn’t know it before
But now it’s easy to see.
BOTH:
This is the start,
Of something new,
It feels so right,
To be here, it’s true
(Endless repeats of the chorus)
Zinc, whenever you could find that Keys to the Kingdom parody, I would love to see it!
To go with the above,
SAVE HUBBLE! (To the tune of “Status Quo”)
(People typing on laptops sit around a cafeteria, surrounded by small groups of other people. An individual who will be known here only as The Manager looks down from a raised eating area, surrounded by a few lackeys. )
THE MANAGER (Spoken):
…Simply too dangerous. There will NOT be any future servicing missions to the Hubble by astronauts, and that’s final. Maybe robots, but NO PEOPLE.
(One journalist stands up and begins reading what he has written as the music begins)
JOURNALIST:
You can bet
That all through the ‘net
This announcement’s caused a roll.
But I’ve got this confession-
My source in the profession
This guy’s in Flight Control.
PEOPLE:
Everybody, gather ’round.
(His group leans in closely.)
JOURNALIST (Spoken):
Well, my source says that if they do it right, it might not be so dangerous.
PEOPLE (Spoken):
What?
JOURNALIST (Spoken):
They could do it safely! If they kept another shuttle on the pad…
LACKEYS:
Not another sound!
JOURNALIST (Spoken):
In an emergency, they could do an orbiter-to-orbiter transfer!
LACKEYS: (Glaring at the Journalist)
No, no, no, noooooo!
No, no, no.
The Manager better knows.
If you wanna be cool
Then his plan is the rule.
Don’t mess with the flow, no, no.
Stick to the status quo!
(The journalist goes back to typing, while a woman holding a small model robot written on it in large letters stands up to read her piece.)
ROBOTICIST:
Look at she (Holds up robot)
I like what I see.
Her AI is beyond compare.
And this news sure is stirring,
But with all that’s occurring
There’s something that I must share
PEOPLE:
Open up, dig way down deep.
ROBOTICIST (Spoken):
But Hubble is complicated, too! There’s simply too many ways a robot could get in a jam.
PERSON 1 (Spoken):
But then how are they supposed to fix it?
LACKEYS:
Not another peep!
ROBOTICIST (Spoken):
The job’s too hard for a robot. This is just something you need a human for.
LACKEYS: (Facing the Roboticist)
No, no, no, nooo!
No, no, no!
Seriously, don’t you know?
That it’s better by far
To keep things as they are?
Don’t mess with the flow, no, no.
Stick to the status quo!
LACKEY 1 (Spoken):
Re-check your calculations, lady!
(The woman sits down, doing just that, while a regular-looking person stands up to read his part.)
FAN:
Listen well,
I’m ready to tell.
There’s something that I cannot deny.
It’s not about information
But my heartfelt sensation
Is that Hubble just cannot die!
PEOPLE:
Speak your mind and you’ll be heard.
FAN (Spoken):
Okay, so I’m no rocket scientist or anything, but I LOVE the Hubble and I can’t just see them abandoning it!
PERSON 2 (Spoken):
You’re right!
PERSON 3 (Spoken):
But how?
PERSON 4 (Spoken):
A monkey?
FAN (Spoken):
No, dude, they can send astronauts!
LACKEYS:
Not another word!
PERSON 2 (Spoken):
Would it be safe?
FAN (Spoken, points to Journalist):
That guy thinks so.
LACKEYS (Facing the Fan and his group):
No, no, no, nooo!
No, no, no!
The Manager better knows!
If you wanna be cool,
Then the plan is the rule.
Don’t mess with the flow. No, no.
Stick to the status quooo!
LACKEYS: (Facing everyone)
No, no, no!
The Manager better knows!
It is better by far
To keep things as they are
Don’t mess with the flow. No, no.
Stick to the status quo!
(The people all rush together and begin talking loudly about the possiblity of another servicing mission. The Manager stands up and angrily paces his area.)
THE MANAGER:
This is not what I wanted.
This is not what I planned.
And I’ve just got to say.
I do not understand.
Someting is really…
FAN:
Maybe we need a NEW Manager!
LACKEY 2:
Something’s not right.
THE MANAGER:
Really wrong.
LACKEYS AND MANAGER:
And we’ve got to get things
Back where they belong.
We can do it!
FAN:
SM4 will fly!
LACKEYS: (Point to The Manager)
Oh, he better knows.
JOURNALIST:
WE can do it!
ROBOTICIST:
‘Study nebulae!
LACKEYS:
She has got to go.
PERSON 1:
We can do it!
JOURNALIST:
We can find out why!
LACKEYS:
Not another peep!
No, not another word!
No, not another sound!
No.
THE MANAGER:
Everybody, QUIET!
(An individual who will be referred to here only as The Scientist is standing next to the Journalist, Fan and Roboticist)
THE SCIENTIST (Spoken, to the Roboticist):
They want you to be in charge of NASA now?
ROBOTICIST (Spoken):
Not me, YOU.
THE SCIENTIST (Spoken):
Because of the Hubble? We have to go back, we just have to!
LACKEYS:
Nooo! No, no, no!
What do you think you know?
If you want to be cool,
Then the plan is the rule
Don’t mess with the flow, oh no.
Stick to the status quoooo!
No, no, no!
The Manager better knows.
It is better by far
To keep things as they are.
Don’t mess with the flow. No, no.
Stick to the status-
Stick to the status-
Stick to the status quo!
This parody is for the Wung movement. Nimly helped me write it.
The night that Nimly spole at H&H(parody of ‘The night that Goldman spoke at Union Square)
Nimly
I have just returned from New Wung, Muso where 42 days ago all the wungs went on strike. The wungs are starving, their wunglings are dieing, but they are holding firm, and WE MUST SUPPORT THEM!
Drake
It was springtime in Muse Blog
As the snow began to fall
And the back of H and H
Had not a seat to spare
When a wungling ducked inside
Just to warm enself was all
The night that Nimly spoke at H&H
Nimly
What is happening in New Wung is happening everywhere! Let us at last make this the planet of opportunity, not just the humans. The land of opportunity for Speen and his little friends! We cannot rest!
Drake
En was speaking loud and fast
Through a haze of moise and heat
And the smell of sweat and anger in the air
The GAPAs were standing by
The the Wungs were on their feet
The night that Nimly spoke at H&H
Nimly
Thou!
Drake
En thought he heard her say
Nimly
What brings en here to day?
Scene becomes spooky, with the Wungs circling Drake, shouting at him
Nimly + Rallyers
Poor young rich wung!
Nimly
Drools for H&H tarts
What a waste of a fiery heart
Dear!
Drake
He thought en said
Nimly + Rallyers
Poor young bourgoeois!
Nimly
There are thinks that you’ve never thought
Come to Nimly and you’ll be taught
Here!
Drake
Ens head was spinning!
Nimly + Rallyers
Wung work for hours on end!
Wung threads broken, and why for?
Wungling laboring, HH still of slaves!
Leave you little cafe, my friend!
There are causes to fight for!
Rallyers
Strike!
Drake
In the friendship of MuseBloggers
I have tried to find some meaning
Rallyers
Strike!
Drake
Helping out in HH kitchens
Trying to run away
Rallyers
Strike
Drake
Like a dragon, kept in a cave
Wanting life but never knowing how…
Nimly
Yes, my enther
Life has meaning
Rallyers
Strike!
Nimly
I’ll show you how!
Drake
Tonight..
Nimly
My enther you are
with us now!
Drake
En was calling out ens name
Shouting what en did not know
And he found that he was floating in the air
With a heart angered like fire
And lots of oxygen
The night that Nimly spoke…
Nimly
I’ve been waiting for you
Drake
At H&H
Wow. I never thought of Drake as a much of a performer before…
Here is the impossible song, a parody of “First You Draw A Circle”.
First, you start with zero,
The number, start with the number zero.
Then you divide it by itself.
You have zero over zero.
Anything over itself is one;
But zero times zero is zero.
So this is my conclusion:
Zero is equal to one!
I can’t believe it!
One and zero are the same!
Now start with infinity.
Beautiful, beautiful infinity.
Then divide it by itself.
You have infinity over infinity.
Anything over itself is one;
But infinity times infinity is infinity.
So this is my conclusion:
Infinity is equal to one!
No, not again!
Infinity is equal to one!
Here is the terrible fact:
Zero, one, and infinity…
Are one and the same!
In honor of the Lunar Recon Orbiter going up today:
LCROSS Moon Mission (To the tune of “Copacabana”)
Her name was LOLA, she was a spacecraft
She caught a ride on LRO, in an Atlas Five, you know
She took some photos and dropped impactors
And so she took off for the moon, on a fine day in late June
Launch Complex For-ty One, they took off in the sun
They were young and they were flying, who could ask for more?
At the LCROSS, LCROSS Moon Mission
The thing that our Ben and Cari are dishin’
At the LCROSS, LCROSS Moon Mission
Science and passion are always the fashion at the LCROSS…
Come fall in love
His name was CRaTER, he was a sensor
He looked out for cosmic rays, on those quiet lunar days
And when he finished, they dropped a Centaur
Dust and ice went out so far, you could catch it in a jar
And the tel-es-copes looked, they wrote it up in books
There was laughing and much rejoicing
When the ice! Showed! Through!
At the LCROSS, LCROSS Moon Mission
The thing that our Ben and Cari are dishin’
At the LCROSS, LCROSS Moon Mission
Science and passion are always the fashion at the LCROSS…
Come fall in love
(Instrumental)
Her name was LOLA, she was a spacecraft…
Just like 40 years ago, when Apollo was the show…
Now we are happy, we’re goin’ back there
And stickin’ feathers in our hair and sendin’ rockets way up there.
We sit here so refined, ex-cite-ment in our minds.
‘Cause the beauty of those pictures
Could make you! Go! Blind!
At the LCROSS, LCROSS Moon Mission…
The thing that our Ben and Cari are dishin’.
At the LCROSS, LCROSS Moon Mission
Science and passion are always the fashion at the LCROSS…
Come fall in love.
This is my first parody ever, so don’t expect much.
Museblog of the Year 2009 (to the tune of the chorus for 1985)
‘Cause there’s
Bookworm, Armada,
Silver Lining, Purple Panda!
There was Rebecca
Lasley, and there was Randomosity!
Her two kids
in high school
they tell her that she’s uncool.
‘Cause she’s still preocupied
with MuseBlog
of the
year 2009!
(Sorry if i didn’t include your name. I only had room for so many people.)
Wow, I feel so honored. *huggles*
Anyways, this is a really good parody of Yesterday that I found on Muse Academy.
Polar Bear
(To the tune of Yesterday)
(Parody written by Cat’s Eye)
Polar bear.
Global warming kills you, do they care?
Can humanity-y learn to share?
Oh, I believe in polar bear.
Suddenly,
Greenland’s half the size it used to be!
There’s no ozone hanging over me.
Oh polar bear, you gotta see.
Why ice has to melt, I don’t know,
it couldn’t be.
Swim, swim, or you’ll die
’cause I want an SUV-ee-ee-ee,
polar bear.
I want that new shampoo for my hair!
So the fac’tries pump smoke to the air,
oh, I believe in polar bear.
Why ice has to melt, I don’t know,
it couldn’t be.
Swim, swim, or you’ll die
’cause I want an SUV-ee-ee-ee,
polar bear.
Global warming kills you, do they care?
Can humanity-y learn to share?
Oh, I believe in polar bear.
Swim, swim, swim, swim, swim, mm-mm.
*feels very flattered/embarrassed*
Aw, don’t be embarrassed. I think it’s brilliant!
Oh! Oh! One of my friends wrote a song about global warming! Search “Forgotten You” + “Children From The Sand” on YouTube. The guy in the red hat is my friend!
That’s amazing.
Debbie hit the floor
She finally got bored
Without 10 posts a day
No more GAPAs
Her fun whooshed into fog (???)
When she left the MuseBlog
For a while, that was the end
What happened to her friends?
She was gonna fight the bunnies
She was gonna Kokonvene
She was gonna throw some pies
While dissing
And there was Kiwi, Errata
Enceladus and Armada
There was Alice, and Piggy,
And Luna the Lovely
And POSOC, and Cat’s Eye,
Tesseract and Shadowfire
And they were all preoccupied with the MuseBlog
(Nilly, Rainbow)
The MuseBlog
(KaiYves, Sudo)
The MuseBlog
(Gradster, Jadestone)
Of 2009!
Here’s one I just came up with. It’s not very good.
Glory Paranoia (to the tune of Glory Halleluja)
Mine eyes have seen the fury of the people that I know.
They’re talking behind my back.
This is something I just know.
They stare when I turn my back.
I don’t know where to go.
Did I PoPo?
Glory glory paranoia,
boy, they’re really out to get ya.
No they’re laughing at me-a.
I’m running away again!
Sorry for any misspellings and typos.
66- That is the most wonderful song about a HBP that I have ever sang.
Have ever sung, Ducky. “Sang” is past tense, “sung” is past participle — though participles will probably disappear once there are no editors around to tend them.
I realized that immediately after I posted that. My brain wasn’t functioning very well at the time.
Begining of an Usagi Yojimbo themed parody of ‘lets get down to buisness’:
Lets get down to busness
to defeat
Hijiki
He’s got a zillion cronies,
so we must
be sneaky!
Jotaro you are awfull fine
and I’d love
to be like you,
but still you’ve
gotta learn
bunny-fu!!
Are there any other Usagi fans on the blog?
Parody of “Hunk of Tin” by my friend and me:
ODE TO HELP!
I’m the voice inside your head
And I’m thinking you should be dead
Grab a brush, we’ll paint you red
And you will be sacrificed!
[CHORUS]
John Paul George Ringo Ringo Ringo Ri-ingo,
John Paul George Ringo Ringo Ringo Ri-ingo,
John Paul George Ringo Ringo Ringo Ri-ingo,
Ringo! Has got the ring!
She shrank Paul into a little man
Instead of shrinking Ringo’s hand
The Beatles were a rockin’ band
And you will be sacrifiiiiiiiiiiiiiced!
[CHORUS]
Help!
I love emoticons
I love the RPGs
I love quotations
I don’t love HPBs
We love the whole blog
From ‘phytes to veterans
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
I love to throw pies
I love to study wungs
This is the weirdest song
That I have ever sung
We love the whole blog
and all its froodiness
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
I love to read books
I am a giant squid
I love the Beatles
Um … what rhymes with squid?
I love the whole blog
Because, well, 42
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Is this perhaps inspired by the xkcd “Boom De Yada” strip? (It’s called something like “XKCD loves Discovery Channel.”) Or maybe my life has just turned into xkcd.
He he. parody of a parody:
I love
I love little pink heads
I love William
I don’t love bipeds
We love all things pink
From carrot to bunny
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
I love to bomb you guys
I love to zombify
This is the pinkest song
That I have ever sung
We love all things pink
and all it’s accompaniment
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
I love to bunnify
I am an HPB!
I love the bite off your head
The pink of the world
Revolves around me!
I love all things pink
Because, well, it’s the best!
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Still Undead (to the tune of “Still Aliveâ€)
This was a triumph.
You are one of us now, the Undead.
It’s hard to say how long we’ve waited for this.
Evil United.
We destroy what we want because we can!
We do what’s best for all of us,
Especially us Undead.
All of us are equals in this monsters’ world.
Even me, though I’m just a vampire girl.
We are together in hate,
And you know, it’s really great.
To be together, we are still Undead.
I don’t really like you.
I’m being so sincere right now.
You are just another stupid minion.
Albeit powerful.
Tenacious and strong, and cruel and mean.
You’ve got some serious power, but you are just my slave.
To get anywhere you need to prove yourself.
Take your bloated ego, put it up on a shelf.
And be glad you got killed, that your mortal blood was spilled,
So that you can be still Undead.
Go ahead and leave us.
You will not get far, anyway.
When the sun comes up, you burst into flames.
Go, young Nosferatu.
Will you survive? Haha. Fat chance.
Stay here with us and you’ll know just how far you can go.
Look at me still talking when there’s killing to do.
When I look out there it makes me glad we’ve got you.
We’ve got a military to run,
There is killing to be done.
And through it all, we will be still Undead.
And believe me we are still Undead.
We’re killing people and we’re still Undead.
We feel fantastic and we’re still Undead.
When their dying we’ll be still Undead.
And when their gone we will be still Undead.
Still Undead.
Still Undead.
18- I love that parody. Dunno why.
I’m going to post a parody to a skat song here soon. I just need to remember how the last line goes…The first verse is following:
Bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny, BUNNIFY!
This’ll be usefully on the WOPC thread.
Please post here. I love parody.
I don’t take credit for this, nor do I particularly dislike Miley Cyrus. My brother made this a couple of minutes ago, and I found it both ingenious, and LOL-worthy. (play the song on youtube while reading. It works PERFECTLY.)
SWINE FLU IN THE U.S.A.
I hopped off the plane at Mexico
with a disease my cardigan
welcome to the land of sex and sickness, (woah)
am I gonna fit in?
Jumped in the cab,
Here I am for the first time
Look to the right and I see the quarantine sign
This is all so painful
Everybody seems so nervous
My tummys turnin and I’m feelin like I’m throwin’ up
Too much pressure and I’m nauseous,
That’s when the taxi man turned on the radio
and a swine flu warning was on
and a swine flu warning was on
and a swine flu warning was on
So I put my hands up
To cover my mouth,
And everybody runs away
Shakin’ my head like nooo
Wavin’ my hands like goooo
And I put my hands up
To cover my mouth
But it ain’t gonna be ok
Yeah, Bringin’ swine flu to the USA
Yeah, Bringin’ swine flu to the USA
Get to the doctor in my taxi cab
Everybody’s lookin at me now
Like “whos that chick, she looks real sick?
We really should avoid her nowâ€
So hard when I just don’t stop puking
This disease just stops me from mingling
Cause’ all I see are hookers
I guess I never charged enough
My tummys turnin and I’m feelin like I’m throwing up
Too much pressure and I’m nauseous
That’s when the doctor told me my temperature
and he said it was 104
and he said it was 104
and he said it was 104
So I put my hands up
To cover my mouth,
And everybody runs away
Shakin’ my head like nooo
Wavin’ my hands like goooo
And I put my hands up
To cover my mouth
But it ain’t gonna be ok
Yeah, Bringin’ swine flu to the USA
Yeah, Bringin’ swine flu to the USA
Feel like just ending my life(my life)
Ending all this pain and strife(pain and strife)
Something stops me everytime (everytime)
The doctors tells me that I’m gonna die
So I put my hands up
To cover my mouth,
And everybody runs away (running away)
Shakin’ my head like nooo(Shakin’ my head like nooo)
Wavin’ my hands like gooo (Wavin’ my hands like gooo)
And I put my hands up,
But it ain’t gonna be ok (Ain’t gonna be okay)
Yeah (Yeah), Bringin’ swine flu to the USA
Yeah (hahaha), Bringin’ swine flu to the USA (Swine flu in the USA!)
LOL
Oh, man , that is SOOO funny.
Parody of You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift!
You’re on the phone with your boyfriend, you’re upset
You’re going off about something that he said
How I’d love to tell you that it’s all true
We’re in your room, you and your screechy voice,
I wouldn’t be here if your boyfriend gave me the choice,
But he thinks that we should keep up the pretence.
And I wear short skirts, you wear sweatshirts,
You’re just in his homeroom and I’m in all his classes.
Looking forward to the day when you’ll look up and see,
All this time when you’ve loved him he’s really been with me!
If you could see that I’m the one who likes to use you,
I’ve been doing it all along so why can’t you see?
Get away from me!
Walking the halls with you and your sweaty hands
You’re not in a position to make demands,
Laughing while I’m thinking to myself,
Hey this is ironic!
Cuz he’s got a rap that could deface the whole town,
I haven’t heard it in a while since you tied him down.
He says it’s good I know that I am too,
Why would he want to date a girl like you?
Cuz I wear stilettos, and you wear old Keds,
I kiss like Fergie (( ?? I don’t know )) you kiss like a fish that’s dead.
But I will be laughing the day that you find
When he dumps you and tells you that he’s always been mine!
After your dates, waiting at his back door
All this time you’ve never thought just maybe,
You have been the cheatee (( ? ))
Oh, I remember him driving to my house in the middle of the night,
He was sick of you, you would always want to fight
You know his favorite songs, but they cannot save you now,
I can’t see why he would ever want you somehow,
Sitting by you, watching you fawn over him
You’re so dumb you don’t know that you were just a whim.
Set him free,
Get away from me.
*bows*
Steel and Solar Wings, parody of “Wind Beneath My Wings” by Bette Midler, about how NO major news outlets mentioned continuous human presence in space aboard the ISS since November 2000 in their “Decade in Review” features:
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
It must have been cold there in the shadows,
To never have limelight up in space
You were content to let them shine, that’s your way.
You always walked a step behind.
So down here others had the glory,
While you were way up there with all your strength.
Beautiful faces without names for so long.
Beautiful smiles, and quiet pain.
Did you ever know that you’re our heroes,
And everything we would like to be?
And when we fly out there like eagles,
’cause of that steel and solar wings.
It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
But I’ve got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.
I would never forget about you.
Did you ever know that you’re my heroes?
And living like we wish we could be.
And soon we’ll fly up there like eagles
’cause of that steel and solar wings.
Did anyone tell you you’re our heroes?
And everything we wished we could be?
Oh, and we, we’ll be flying there like eagles,
’cause of that steel and solar wings,
’cause of that steel and solar wings.
Oh, that steel and solar wings.
You, you, you, you and your steel and solar wings.
Fly, fly, fly away. You let me fly so high.
Oh, you, you, you, your steel and solar wings.
Oh, you, you, you, your steel and solar wings.
Fly, fly, fly high against the sky,
so high I almost touch the sky.
Thank you, thank you,
Thank God for you, your steel and solar wings.
This was not written by me, but by the scientist Kelly Fast about the July 2009 Jupiter Cometary Impact,
“1994 (The Jupiter Impact of 2009)” (To the tune of Prince’s “1999”)
At the summit when I wrote this, forgive me but my head is sore.
I feel I’m in a time warp, déjà vu, been here before.
The irritated atmosphere is sporting a familiar bruise.
As with Shoemaker-Levy 9 we know there is no time to lose.
Ju-pi-ter two thousand zero niner, never thought we’d see any more.
But tonight there was an impact as in 1994!
Wesley caught post-impact, observatories rushed to see.
IRTF, Gemini, Keck II and HST.
Morphology and altitude, certainly an impact site.
Spectroscopy and imaging, we’ll rock that planet tonight!
Ju-pi-ter two thousand zero niner, never thought we’d see any more.
But tonight there was an impact as in 1994!
Dynamics, photochemistry, there is so much to be learned.
Twice in a lifetime, leave no asteroid or comet unturned.
SL9 was crazy, makes this loner seem so serene.
Still this is something that we wish Gene* could have seen.
Ju-pi-ter two thousand zero niner, never thought we’d see any more.
But tonight there was an impact as in 1994!
*Gene Shoemaker, half of SL-9’s namesake.
After a long Africa unit in World Cultures, this is the result, tenatively titled “I Really Need Extra-Credit” and set to the tune of Green Day’s “American Idiot”. It’s about apartheid, so if you’ve never studied it, it may be a bit (very) confusing. Ahem.
Don’t want to be a South African idiot!
Don’t want a nation under the apartheid.
And can you hear the sounds of hysteria?
The Sharpesville riots have murdered South Africa.
Welcome to a new kind of tension,
All across the ANC nation,
Where all the black kids have got to run away.
Bantu homelands dream of tomorrow,
Have you got a passbook I could borrow?
For that’s enough to bomb ’em.
Well, maybe I’m the “colored” South Africa.
I’m not a part of the de Klerk agenda.
Now everybody do the new Mandela,
And sing along in Afrikaans, not Tswana.
Welcome to a new kind of tension,
All across the ANC nation,
Where all the black kids have got to run away.
Bantu homelands dream of tomorrow,
Have you got a passbook I could borrow?
For that’s enough to bomb ’em.
Don’t want to be a South African idiot.
Don’t want a nation under the apartheid.
Riots, bombings, world in hysteria-
It’s going out to idiot South Africa.
Welcome to a new kind of tension,
All across the ANC nation,
Where all the black kids have got to run away.
Bantu homelands dream of tomorrow,
Have you got a passbook I could borrow?
For that’s enough to bomb ’em.
*guitar solo, then segue in to “Jesus of South Africa”*
Wow. That is really well done.
Midnight sky
To the tune of “Uptown Girl”
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh…..
Midnight sky
I’ve been living in a skyless world
I know I never saw an Observatory
I know I never saw a galaxy
I’m gonna try for a telescope
‘Cause I’ve been living in a skyless world
Just like anyone who lives in haze
So now I’m looking for a way to stargaze
That’s what I do
And when I know what
I want from this sky
And when I wake up
And look up to the sky
They’ll see I’m not so dumb
Just because
I can watch the midnight sky
You know I haven’t seen Orion
I’m getting bored with pictures in books
And all descriptions from my astronomer friends
I made my choice
Telescope
Oooooooooooohhhhhh
You know I can’t afford to buy Keck
But maybe someday when we look back to the sky
They’ll understand how great it’s been
And then I’ll win
And when I’m watching
Sky’s looking so fine
And when I’m talking
I’ll talk ’bout the sky
They’ll see I’m not so dumb
Just because
I watch the midnight sky
Ooooooooohhhhhhhhh….
I’ve been living in my daytime world
Just like anyone who lives in haze
And now I want to stargaze
That’s what I do
Telescope
It’s my telescope
You know I’m need to gaze
With a telescope
Telescope
You know I need to watch with a tel-e-sope
MuseBlog, MuseBlog, Musey-Bloggy MuseBlog,
Throw us some pies please!
Whether we like Beatles or flutes or are obsessed with Glee.
We have a need to procrastinate
And write triangularly,
So our NaNos die, let’s eat some pie,
Or throw it at a phyte!
So ask the GAPAs anything,
But don’t let it be PoPo,
They’ll zap your frog
Off of the blog,
And then you won’t get forty-two!
I was walking in the net one day,
when some pies flew my way.
I learned about bunnies, you see-
And met some people just like me!
CHORUS: MuseBlog, the land of pies, sorry if I took you by surprise.
MuseBlog, the land of pies, sorry if I took you by surprise.
When the Muse Scouts come around,
either you order, or you faint and fall down.
I got reprimanded, to my surprise-
After I threw some pies!
CHORUS
I draw my blaster, ready to fight,
unafraid of the HPB’s advancing might.
And then the king comes around-
He hurts us bad, but we don’t fall down!
CHORUS
World of Piecraft, hehehe,
someone’s getting pied, it’s not me.
NWPL, Nillybuckbucks-
Someone confuzzles me-just my luck!
CHORUS
MUSE ACADEMY (eee),
World Domination, my class-to-be.
Besides art, no one really knows me-
That’s why I’m in Lasley!
CHORUS
Holiday party, Halloween Ball,
my costume’s the best of all.
Firewine, talking plants-
Well, at least there are no ants!
CHORUS
Now it’s time for me to log off,
and I ask you not to scoff.
I’m not an adult yet, but I will be-
A MuseBlogger forever, that’s me!
CHORUS
This is a parody I wrote today of Vampire Club by Voltaire. (I don’t know chatspeak and probably butchered it horribly.)
Oh, the servers were fast and were on all night,
The time the chtspeakrs came to the Muse Blog site.
The leader tried to look scholarly and slim,
Like an idiot trying to impersonate an admin.
Well he recognized the MBer from his school,
And he did something that was most uncool.
He said, “Hy evrebdy, C tht ‘R101’?
Hr nm is D nd sh thnks tht gramr is fn!â€
Fingers were flying,
Flames were formed.
Spam hath no fury like an MBer scorned.
Number one rule in this game:
Never call her by her real name!
Nails were broken,
Computer keys were crushed
By frenzied typists in a rush.
And a GAPA on the web,
Edits posts all night,
And says, “It’s just another day at the
Muse Blog site!â€
Someone spoiled an alter-ego in the very first post.
We all laughed and said, “Your ego is toast!â€
Another person was mad, ‘cause en was just so drained,
That en even misspelled ens own name!
There was so much angst after the fight,
Some R&R goers broke up that night.
While some Hot Topics fans said, “Have you heard the news?
They just excommunicated You-Know-Who!â€
Fingers were flying,
Flames were formed.
Spam hath no fury like an MBer scorned.
Number one rule in this game:
Never call her by her real name!
Nails were broken,
Computer keys were crushed
By frenzied typists in a rush.
And a GAPA on the web,
Edits posts all night,
And says, “It’s just another day at the
Muse Blog site!â€
Well, it’s hard to believe, but we still come here,
Recruiting MBer from far and near.
Typing with the very upmost care,
For we grammar fanatics never despair.
A general kokonvention is a peaceful sight,
We do anything to avoid a fight.
But if you really want to see some hate and spite,
Wait ‘til the spammers come to the Muse Blog site!
Fingers were flying,
Flames were formed.
Spam hath no fury like an MBer scorned.
Number one rule in this game:
Never call her by her real name!
Nails were broken,
Computer keys were crushed
By frenzied typists in a rush.
And a GAPA on the web,
Edits posts all night,
And says, “It’s just another day at the
Muse Blog site!â€
This is my take on Bryan Adams’ “Summer of ’69”:
Summer of ’69 (Apollo)
I saw my first real F-1
Straight off the assembly line
Lookin’ at it nearly blew my head
It was the summer of ’69!
Me and some guys I knew
Had a band and we worked real hard
‘Till we quit and people stopped caring
Never knew we’d never get far
Oh, when I look back now
That summer seemed to last forever
And if I had the choice
Yeah, you know I’d wanna be there
Those were the best days of my life
“Ain’t no use in complainin’
When you got a job to doâ€
Spent my late nights down at the launchpad
Talkin’ with the mission crew, yeah!
Standin’ by the crawler porch
We were thinking ‘bout forever
Oh, ‘cause JFK’d said
That it was now or never
Those were the best days of my life, oh yeah
Back in the summer of ‘69
Man, they never wasted time
It was bold and reckless
No one needed any more
I guess nothin’ can last forever- forever, no, yeah!
And now the times are changin’
And S-T-S is nearly gone
Sometimes I look at that old F-1
Think about it and ‘bout what went wrong,
Standin’ on the LM porch
Starin’ out into forever
Oh, and Neil was sayin’
“Hurry up it’s now or never!â€
Those were the best days of my life, oh yeah
Back in the summer of ‘69, uh-huh
It was the summer of ‘69, oh yeah, baby, July of ‘69
It was the summer, the summer of ‘69
Here’s a song parody I made up about
partyingKokonventions. I don’t even have a chorus yet, but I like what I have so far. This will represent a sort of international Kokonvention, because MBers from around the country (or possibly the world) will be mentioned for the sake of rhyming/rhythm.Wake up in the morning feeling like Ford Prefect
Grab my Kokopelli pin, I’m gonna love this weekend
Before I go, leave a post, on my favorite blog
‘Cause where I’m going today I’ll meet fireandhemlock
I’m talking chatting with Robert Coontz, Coontz
Showing Luna my shoes, shoes
Sharing the latest news, news
PWT PWNS, yeah
Talking ’bout Harry Potter
Fanfiction that we thought up
Getting a drink of water
Oh, and by the way, it’s Tik Tok. (In case you didn’t already know…)
Wow! I don’t think I’ve ever been in a song lyric before.
SFTQP
How could I leave you out? Now I just need to put in the other GAPAs…
Not quite! https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=945#comment-127394, https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=966#comment-133732 , https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=1443#comment-229701 !
I just spazzed. I’ve never been in a song before, either.
Looks like it’s going to be an awesome song.
Slightly hung over and very far away from home?
Part Two (Note: All that’s left is the refrain and the last chorus, so if anyone want to be in the refrain, please post here now. I’ll try to fit you in there. And by the way, Lasley must be pronounced Laslay.)
Kokon, yeah it’s fun
Meeting, greeting everyone
Today, I’mma play
With Rebecca Lasley
MuseBlog, yeah it rocks
Kokonvening nonstop
Yeah, yeah
Kokon, yeah it’s fun
Meeting, greeting everyone
Today, I’mma play
With Rebecca Lasley
MuseBlog, yeah it rocks
Kokonvening nonstop
Yeah, yeah
Ain’t got a care in the world, but got plenty of friends
Ain’t got nobody here to talk to, but wait, I see I-Man!
And now Alice is pulling up, so we go out and see her
And I go up to the curb so I can finally meet her
I’m talking ’bout everybody getting hyped, hyped
The photos all getting Skyped, Skyped
Robert moderating at the same time, time
Na na not going till it’s time to leave, leave
Or we meet up with KaiYves, Yves
Meet up with KaiYves, Yves
Meet up with KaiYves
Kokon, yeah it’s fun
Meeting, greeting everyone
Today, I’mma play
With Rebecca Lasley
MuseBlog, yeah it rocks
Kokonvening nonstop
Yeah, yeah
Kokon, yeah it’s fun
Meeting, greeting everyone
Today, I’mma play
With Rebecca Lasley
MuseBlog, yeah it rocks
Kokonvening nonstop
Yeah, yeah
Come to think of it, to fit her in, I should probably change Robert to Rosanne in verse 2. Sorry, Robert.
*END LAST POST FOR THE DAY*
I’d like to be in it if possible! It rules so far.
Hm, if you changed ‘play’ to ‘be’, it would be slightly less interesting, but would rhyme with Lasley.
Put me in! It’s awesome!
80, 85, 97, 100-
ALL RIGHT! The official premier of the entire song of MusE BloG is now ready to post! If you asked to be in the song before 8:26 AM Colorado time on August 5, you are officially in! Enjoy… (Note: This will be my last post for a while on the blog. This song tired me out.)
Wake up in the morning feeling like Ford Prefect
Grab my Kokopelli pin, I’m gonna love this weekend
Before I go, leave a post, on my favorite blog
‘Cause where I’m going today I’ll meet fireandhemlock
I’m talking chatting with Robert Coontz, Coontz
Showing Luna my shoes, shoes
Sharing the latest news, news
PWT PWNS, yeah
Talking ’bout Harry Potter
Fanfiction that we thought up
Getting a drink of water
Kokon, yeah it’s fun
Meeting, greeting everyone
Today, I’mma play
With Rebecca Lasley
MuseBlog, yeah it rocks
Kokonvening nonstop
Yeah, yeah
Kokon, yeah it’s fun
Meeting, greeting everyone
Today, I’mma play
With Rebecca Lasley
MuseBlog, yeah it rocks
Kokonvening nonstop
Yeah, yeah
Ain’t got a care in the world, but got plenty of friends
Ain’t got nobody here to talk to, but wait, I see I-Man!
And now Alice is pulling up, so we go out and see her
And I go up to the curb so I can finally meet her
I’m talking ’bout everybody getting hyped, hyped
The photos all getting Skyped, Skyped
Rosanne moderating at the same time, time
Na na not going till it’s time to leave, leave
Or we meet up with KaiYves, Yves
Meet up with KaiYves, Yves
Meet up with KaiYves
Kokon, yeah it’s fun
Meeting, greeting everyone
Today, I’mma play
With Rebecca Lasley
MuseBlog, yeah it rocks
Kokonvening nonstop
Yeah, yeah
Kokon, yeah it’s fun
Meeting, greeting everyone
Today, I’mma play
With Rebecca Lasley
MuseBlog, yeah it rocks
Kokonvening nonstop
Yeah, yeah
MuseBlog
You are so cool
You rock my socks
You are the bomb, yeah you got me
With Musers like
SudoRandom, Maths Lover, POSOC
You got me
You are so cool, you rock my socks, you rock my socks…
Now the Kokon don’t start till I walk in
Kokon, yeah it’s fun
Meeting, greeting everyone
Today, I’mma play
With Rebecca Lasley
MuseBlog, yeah it rocks
Kokonvening nonstop
Yeah, yeah
Kokon, yeah it’s fun
Meeting, greeting everyone
Today, I’mma play
With Rebecca Lasley
MuseBlog, yeah it rocks
Kokonvening nonstop
Yeah, yeah
*Applauds*
(Yeah, another parody that will probably be horrible.)
So You Wanted to See the Museblog
(Tune of So You Wanted to Meet the Wizard.)
So you wanted to see the Museblog?
Well let me tell you that you’ve come to the right place.
Should I take you to Hot Topics or Demigod?
You should see the awed expression on your face!
If the way this blog looks is frightening,
That’s because you’ve not read a post before today.
Just meet an MBer or admin.
Let me tell you they will make you want to stay!
Museblog!
Let the magic of good grammar take you higher,
To a paradise of intelligent desire.
And in the warmth of MBer kindness, you’ll feel fine!
Just keep your eyes open
And the wonders you will see.
Everything from throwing pie,
To a war with HPBs!
It’s a strong community, made
Of others just like you.
So many wonderful threads
You may not know
What first to do!
Oh!
So you wanted to see the Museblog!
Speaking of Demigod…
THE TWINS NEED YOU! EVEN JASPER NEEDS YOU BUT WON”T EVER ADMIT IT!
This isn’t quite done yet, but Erin and I wrote it…
We Didn’t Light the Candle (To the tune of Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire”)
Gunpowder, Wan Hu, fireworks, rockets too,
Jules Verne, HG Wells, making cavorite
Brick moon, cannon shots, Gun Club, Florida
Good facts, bad facts, and the Selenites
Robert Goddard, cabbage patch, big explosion, shouting match
Roswell, gonna fly, not even a mile high
Leave the cradle, making plans, novels read in foreign lands
German boys, lethal toys, Nazi eyes on Oberth’s fans
Chorus:
We didn’t light the candle
It was way before us, but it sure did floor us,
No, we didn’t light the candle,
No, we didn’t light it, but no one can fight it
World War, London smoke, rocketry is not a joke
War’s end, split up friends, East or West Bloc
Korolev, Krushchev, can’t you hear the minds rev?
I-G-Y falls, start the countdown clock
Sputnik, red moons, little dog in orbit soon,
Flopnik, papers pan, Ex-plor-er, van Allen
Abel-Baker, monkey facts, Aeronautics Space Act
Lovelace, space race, seven guys for orbit
We didn’t light the candle
It was way before us, but it sure did floor us,
No, we didn’t light the candle,
No, we didn’t light it, but no one can fight it
Vostok, Mercury, tell me who it’s gonna be
Gagarin is Russian first, NASA future lookin’ worse
Shepard going up and down, Johnny flies it all around
Tereshkova, learn to swim, listen to them blame him
New Frontier, fall behind, Rice plays Texas, lunar minds
Space twins, striking blows, Slayton is a no-go
EVA, Kodak tricks, rendezvous seven and six
Neil and Dave needing tow, lunar systems are go!
We didn’t light the candle
It was way before us, but it sure did floor us,
No, we didn’t light the candle,
No, we didn’t light it, but no one can fight it
Massive rockets, N-1, at this rate we’ll soon be done
Grissom mad, Velcro bad, one spark and we’re all sad
Experts on a fixing quest, phoenix rising sans a rest
Moving forward, need that LEM, coming back with Se-ven
Christmas moon, final checks, waiting on Apollo X
Landing day, Armstrong yay, what else do I have to say?
We didn’t light the candle
It was way before us, but it sure did floor us,
No, we didn’t light the candle,
No, we didn’t light it, but no one can fight it
Doctor Who themed parody of “Yesterday” by The Beatles
SPOILER SILENCE IN THE LIBRARY SPOILER DOCTOR WHO SPOILER FOREST OF THE DEAD SPOILER DOCTOR WHO SPOILER I SPOILER HOPE SPOILER THIS SPOILER IS SPOILER ENOUGH SPOILER
The Library
All my futures seemed so far away,
Now I see they’ll come and stay,
Oh, I came to the Library.
Suddenly,
I can’t tell half I used to see,
There’s a shadow coming to kill me,
The Library came suddenly.
Who she
Really is, I don’t know, she couldn’t say.
I will
Know someday, but the memories will stay.
The Library,
Never new or trusted until that day,
Now I know she’ll never go away,
My name is with her, and will stay.
Who she
Really is, I don’t know, she couldn’t say.
I will,
Know someday, but the memories will stay.
The Library
Death is never something I like to say
She’ll live on forever, but today-
She has died in The Library
Who-oo-oo-oo-oo-oooo?
I am writing a parody of All Star about erosion for science class. More on that later.
Here it is! Just finished the music video.
Moving water is what creates things like V-shaped valleys
That’s a valley in the shape of a V
Other features that it makes include waterfalls and floodplains
And it deposits stuff on a beach
Well, the rocks start coming and they don’t stop coming
Erosion is what makes them start doing something
Didn’t make sense just to leave them there
They get weathered and they might grow hair
So much to do, so much to see
So what’s wrong with rolling down the street
Yeah, that’s deposition for you
Erosion’s involved with that too
Hey now, it’s erosion, it moves sediment and soil
Hey now, deposition moves it out in the world
It happens to everything
And it’s kind of like weathering
Valley glaciers make many kinds of valleys
Like U-shaped ones and also hanging valleys
But waves are agents of deposition
Making sea arches, moving spits in position
And groundwater makes caverns and sinkholes
Stalactites and stalagmites, we can’t forget those
Wind, water, and gravity
Make arches and sand dunes and more features you see
Hey now, it’s erosion, it moves sediment and soil
Hey now, deposition moves it out in the world
It happens to everything
And it’s kind of like weathering
Hey now, it’s erosion, it moves sediment and soil
Hey now, deposition moves it out in the world
It happens to everything
And it’s kind of like weathering
Somebody once saw that this song doesn’t talk
About a lot of erosional features
I say yep, I don’t care though
You can see them in the video
Go watch it instead of standing here
Well, the rocks start coming and they don’t stop coming
Erosion is what makes them start doing something
Didn’t make sense just to leave them there
They get weathered and they might grow hair
So much to do, so much to see
So what’s wrong with rolling down the street
Yeah, that’s deposition for you
Erosion’s involved with that too
Hey now, it’s erosion, it moves sediment and soil
Hey now, deposition moves it out in the world
It happens to everything
And it’s kind of like weathering
A parody of Friday a friend of mine wrote:
It’s Thursday, Thursday
Never got the hang of Thursdays
Everybody’s wondering what’s gonna happen
Thursday, Thursday
World’s gonna end on Thursday
Everybody’s staring upward at the Vogons
Panicking panicking AAAH!
Panicking panicking AAAH!
Boom, boom, boom, boom
Looking backward at the world’s end.
I went down to
The city park
I saw a squirrel
I named him Clark
He was so cute
He followed me
I picked him up
And then I screamed
Cause he had rabies, rabies, rabies, oh!
Rabies, rabies, rabies, no!
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh!
Rabies, rabies, rabies, no!
*run around slobbering*
Now me and Clark
Are the best of friends
We both have rabies
The world will soon end
We don’t like water
We like to bite
We go on rampages
Every night
Cause we have rabies, rabies, rabies, oh!
Rabies, rabies, rabies, no!
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh!
Rabies, rabies, rabies, no!
*run around slobbering*
(Yes, I am aware squirrels can’t have rabies. It’s artistic license.)
Enceladus – Epic win. You should make up some verses!
Marble Hornets parody:
There’s a stalker in the woods
He took my friend, this can’t be good
Didn’t seem to have a face
Now he’s gone without a trace
And there’s a minion in a mask
I probably shouldn’t ask
Think I took some video
But that was seven months ago
Footage of that night
Ended up online –
What’s that
At 2:08?
It’s a blacked out blur
But I’m pretty sure
It’s Slenderman
… Cake.
Last Friday night
Watching all these tapes I found
Slenderman messed up the sound
Someone’s hacking my account
Last Friday night
Exploring houses in the dark
Chasing Slendy in the park
Who the cake is totheark?
Last Friday ni –
*****************************
(The tape ends here.)
(To the tune of Billy Jonas’ “Old St. Helen”)
They got mad and lost their heads
HOT PINK BUNNIES
Sky turned pink as their eyes turned red
HOT PINK BUNNIES
BEACON crews were working hard
HOT PINK BUNNIES
(Read that on a trading card)
Chorus:
Oh oh oh, the danger’s gonna grow
Oh oh oh, depigment’s gotta flow
Oh oh oh, King William’s on the rise
So put that visor down over your eyes
Boots on toes and armor on chest
Drivin’ them back with every breath
They don’t care your point of view
They’re just out to bunnify you!
RUMBLE!
We hid by a mountain lake.
HOT PINK BUNNIES
One tried to bite me, I said “Give me a break!”
HOT PINK BUNNIES
“We’ve fought your kind for seven years!”
HOT PINK BUNNIES
“We’re gonna kick you out of here!”
(Chorus)
RUMBLE!
Au-gust first, five after two
HOT PINK BUNNIES
Twenty-thirteen, we broke right through
HOT PINK BUNNIES
Old Man William did not dodge
HOT PINK BUNNIES
From his throne he was dislodged
(Chorus)
RUMBLE!
One month later I came by
HOT PINK BUNNIES
A tear was not in any eye
HOT PINK BUNNIES
In a dungeon ‘neath seafoam
HOT PINK BUNNIES
They’ve got themselves a long-time home!
(Chorus)
(Chorus)
Okay, so parodies of the “Major General Song” are not original at all, but I happened to listen to “I am the Very Model of a Cartoon Individual” last night while my mind was far more tired than it should have been, and, well…
(I’m not even sure how well this scans because of how fast the song goes.)
There is a warehouse far away which houses contents quite remarkable,
It’s full of wooden boxes all arranged in order hierarchical,
Containing objects lost and missing central to those mysteries unsnarkable.
To dis-co-ver any one of them alone would be most harkable.
This place would dominate the news from B-B-C to tabloids larkable–
In a talk show seat you’d find yourself most parkable.
Yes, anyone who’s read a bit of matters called mysterious
Should find that just a peak inside would render them delirious.
(Should find that just a peak inside would render them delirious!)
They’ve Earhart’s missing plane and the White Bird and Amundsen’s
And Hoffa’s bones and Crater’s too and secret-ink-revealing pens.
All that’s in just these few choice crates arranged in order hierarchical
That fill this warehouse far away which houses contents quite remarkable.
(They fill this warehouse far away which houses contents quite remarkable!)
There’s Andrew Irvine’s camera, Fawcett’s journal and a living Moa
And a map to a native village that is labeled “Cro-a-toan”.
Translated rongorongo tables, Indus Valley, Phaistos Disk
And even Inca quipu if a guess I might yet risk.
There’s Iv’ry-Billed Woodpeckers and Thylacines so full of pep
A pair of horn-rimmed glasses with a label reading “O-je-nep”
Top secret orders sent to Agent Thompson I can see ’em
And all the paintings that they stole from Mrs. Stewart Gardner’s fine museum.
(And all the paintings that they stole from Mrs. Stewart Gardner’s fine museum!)
There’s swim trunks labeled “Mr. Holt” and Peking Man’s skull so old
And D.B. Cooper’s chute and cash next to a crate of Nazi gold.
All this inside these crates arranged in order hierarchical
That fill this warehouse far away which houses contents quite remarkable.
(That fill this warehouse far away which houses contents quite remarkable!)
Plus the lifeboat from Mary Celeste and ergot bread from Salem town
A camera marked with “S. Flynn” and jewels of the Irish crown
And photos of colossal squid and scrolls from Alexandria
Near the logs of Stardust, Star Tiger, Cyclops and the Joyita.
The Piltdown forger’s signed confession, my now that was something fierce
The final will and testament of the lamented Ambrose Bierce.
I saw deciphered Zapotec and Isthmian and Linear A
And Lindy’s logbook stolen by the crowd at Le Bourget.
(And Lindy’s logbook stolen by the crowd at Le Bourget!)
Oh yes a thorough searching will reveal most anything I bet
I’ve good authority I’m near to the Ark of the Covenant
It may be here among these crates arranged in order hierarchical
That fill this warehouse which contains these contents quite remarkable.
(That fill this warehouse which contains these contents quite remarkable!)
(I should probably do another post explaining all of the references…)
Ha! This is excellent.
I’d add a manuscript so old it verges on the myth era:
Instructions for that thing found off the coast of Antikithera.
Ooh, that’s good, I should have used that.
Okay, line-by-line, the references explained…
Line 10: These are all references to aviation accidents from which no definite wreckage has been found. Amelia Earhart, as you probably know, vanished somewhere over the Pacific while attempting to fly around the world in 1937.
“L’Osseau Blanc”, or “The White Bird” was the plane in which Charles Nungesser and Francois Coli tried to become the first to fly across the Atlantic Ocean nonstop. Sadly, they never arrived in New York– most experts think they crashed somewhere in Maine. A few days later, Charles Lindbergh claimed the prize they’d been after with his famous solo flight (see below).
Roald Amundsen, the leader of the first expedition to reach the South Pole, vanished on a rescue mission to the Arctic in 1928. His plane probably crashed into the ocean in a fog, but the ocean is big and searching in the Arctic is hard, so no wreckage was ever found.
–
11: Jimmy Hoffa was a labor union leader believed to have been murdered in 1975 by mobsters, but nobody knows where they buried his body, so there have been a lot of jokes about people accidentally finding it in TV and movies and things. Joseph Force Crater was a New York Supreme Court judge who was the subject of a lot of similar speculation and jokes after he disappeared in 1930.
–
15: George Mallory and Andrew Irvine attempted to be the first to reach the summit of Mount Everest in 1924 but never came back. The first confirmed summit of Everest was not until three decades later. Mallory’s body was found in 1999, but without the camera the pair had taken along, which presumably would have contained summit photographs if they had made it to the top before dying. (Muse had an article on this in January 2002.)
Percy Fawcett was a British explorer who disappeared in the Amazon in 1925, looking for a lost city he called “Z”. He’s one of the many people sometimes cited as an inspiration for Indiana Jones. (There’s a very good book about him that came out a few years ago that I haven’t read yet but want to.) There probably wasn’t really a “Z”, but we don’t know what happened to him, so finding his journal would be a big deal.
The Moa were giant flightless birds that lived in New Zealand in prehistoric times. It’s believed that the ancestors of the Maori hunted them to extinction within a few centuries of arrival, which is really sad. But maybe, just maybe the keepers of this secret warehouse saved a few to establish a breeding program elsewhere and provide the world with the awesomeness of three-point-six-meter-high birds. (Or time travel? Or cloning? Who knows?)
–
16: Not too obscure– “CROATOAN” was found carved on a tree in the abandoned Lost Colony of Roanoke by the next English ship to visit. Most people think it meant that the colonists had gone to live with the Native Americans who lived on Hatteras Island not too far away, which was called “Croatoan Island” at the time, but nobody knows for sure. (Cricket had an article about it in one of the old issues my cousins gave me, which would have been from sometime in the late 80s or early 90s.)
–
17: These are all ancient written scripts that we haven’t been able to decipher yet. Rongorongo is the script found on some artifacts from Rapa Nui/Easter Island, the Indus Valley or Harappan Script was used by the Indus Valley Civilization of ancient Afghanistan/Pakistan/Northwest India, and the Phaistos Disk is an object found in the Minoan palace of Phaistos on Crete marked with characters that appear on only one other artifact from Crete (and even there it’s not sure if they’re exactly the same script.)
–
18: Quipu are a system of knotted strings used by the Inca for record-keeping. It’s not clear whether that’s all they were used for, or if they could also be used to encode more complex information like music or stories. If they were, then perhaps that information could be deciphered as the song suggests.
–
19: The Ivory-Billed Woodpecker is a species of woodpecker native to the southeastern US, believed to have gone extinct in the 1940s. However, there have been reported sightings since then, so they’re officially listed as “critically endangered and possibly extinct”. The most-publicized and most recent of these sightings were in 2004 and 2005 in Arkansas and attracted a lot of scientific attention, but so far no concrete proof of living Ivory-Bills has emerged. Still, one can hope. (Muse had an article about this in February 2005.)
Like an Ivory-Billed Woodpecker, a thylacine full of pep would indeed be quite the discovery, as this marsupial species popularly called the Tasmanian Tiger is believed to have gone extinct in the 1930s. Also like the Ivory-Bill, there were some unconfirmed sightings after that, so it wasn’t officially listed as extinct until the 1980s. Except, perhaps, in this secret warehouse? (Muse had an article about this in August 1998, or so our Back Issues page tells me, although I wasn’t reading it yet.)
–
20: Art collector Michael Rockefeller, who wore horn-rimmed glasses, disappeared on an expedition to New Guinea in 1961. The new book I was raving about earlier this month suggested that he’d been killed by tribesmen from the village of Otsjanep (pronounced like it’s written in the song, or at least that’s how the author said it at his book talk, and he’s been there, so…)
–
21: Jim Thompson was an American businessman who helped revive the Thai silk industry after World War II. This made him really rich and famous, until one day in 1967 when he went for a walk in the jungle and never came back. Because he’d been a secret agent during WWII, people speculated that maybe he’d been called back for one final mission.
–
22: On the day after St. Patrick’s Day 1990, two robbers disguised as policemen entered the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum here in Boston, subdued the security guards, and stole 13 works of art, including two Rembrandt paintings and five drawings by Degas. The FBI has been searching for them ever since, and about a year ago, they said they believed they knew the identities of the thieves but that the trail had gone cold. They put out a call for anonymous tips, but there haven’t been any further announcements.
–
24: Australian Prime Minister Harold Holt disappeared in 1967 while swimming in the ocean. He was the SERVING Prime Minister, too, not a former one– the active head of the country just disappeared! Even for Australia, that’s pretty weird!
Peking Man is the name for specimens of the hominin Homo erectus discovered in the 1920s and 1930s in China, near Beijing, which English speakers at the time transliterated as Peking. They were boxed up to be shipped to New York a few days before the attack on Pearl Harbor, but they vanished en route. Fortunately, detailed plaster casts had already been made.
–
25: In 1971, a man using the alias “Dan Cooper” hijacked an airplane in Washington State, and then parachuted out with 200,000 dollars in stolen cash. Some of the money was found in 1980 along the Columbia River, but no sign of “Cooper” himself. The current consensus is that he probably wouldn’t have survived the jump and landing in the forest given the flight conditions. (Oh, and the name he used was “Dan Cooper”, but “D.B. Cooper” was a typo made by a news reporter covering the hijacking that somehow caught on.)
There are many stories and rumors about gold, paper money, and looted art treasures hidden around Europe by the Nazis as their government fell– things certainly were stashed to some degree, but most of it was discovered in the first few years after the war. Some art does emerge from time to time, but the urban legends about crates of gold bullion sunk at the bottom of lakes and the like so far seem to be just legends.
–
27: There is a theory that ergot, a grain fungus that can cause hallucinations, may have been a partial cause of the Salem Witch Trials. However, objections have been raised to this theory by other historians—namely that other people presumably eating the same bread as the girls who claimed to be “bewitched†showed no signs of ergot poisoning. Certainly there were also psychological and political factors involved, but you covered that in AP US History, I’m sure.
The Mary (not Marie, that’s another typo that caught on) Celeste was a ship found adrift in 1872 off the coast of Portugal with all of the crew and passengers missing. The ship’s lifeboat was also missing, so they probably abandoned ship in that—the real mystery is why everyone would leave a ship that was perfectly seaworthy and stocked with food and supplies. A lot of people have speculated about that, including Jane Yolen and Heidi Stemple who wrote that kids’ book about it in the 90s that seemed to be in EVERY library and waiting room in my childhood. (Does anyone else know the one I mean?) They also wrote a book in the same style about the Salem Witch Trials, hence my grouping of these subjects together.
–
28: Sean Flynn, son of the actor Errol Flynn, was a photojournalist who went missing in action in Vietnam in 1967. (Holy Kokopelli, what was it with people disappearing in Australasia/Southeast Asia in the ‘60s?!?)
The Irish Crown Jewels were stolen from Dublin Castle in 1907 and have never been recovered; one of the suspects was Ernest Shackleton’s brother. The Sherlock Holmes story “The Adventure of the Bruce-Partington Plans†was based on this case.
–
29: Colossal squid, the largest known species of squid, have never been photographed alive in the wild, although many dead specimens have been studied and captured ones have been observed dying. Until ten years ago, the same was true of their cousins the giant squid, and every book about the ocean I read as a kid made sure to end the section on them with that fact. I have not had the chance to look at many ocean books written for children in the years since then, but I would hope that they discuss colossal squid and end with a similar sentence so that this generation can also experience the sense of mystery and of science pushing at its frontiers that such a statement inspires.
The Library of Alexandria was one of the greatest libraries of the ancient world, but, as Cosmos fans know, its contents were sadly burned during attacks by Romans and Byzantines in the 3rd and 4th centuries CE. Some of the books listed as having been in the library’s collection by ancient sources have no surviving examples, including several lost plays by Euripides. At the end of the first National Treasure movie, Dr. Abigail Chase rejoices at finding intact “Scrolls from the Library of Alexandria!†among the treasures of the Knights Templar, and with good reason!
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30: Star Dust was the callsign of an airliner that crashed into a mountain while descending for landing in Santiago, Chile, in 1947. No wreckage was found until the 1990s, so for a long time people made a big deal of it having “just disappeared off the map!â€, especially because the last Morse code transmission from the plane was the seemingly-meaningless word “STENDEC†repeated three times. Analysis of the wreckage suggests that it was a totally normal crash, but we still don’t know what “STENDEC†means—it was probably some combination of standard Morse abbreviations, mistakes in transmission, and mistakes in transcription.
Star Tiger was another airliner that vanished while flying to Bermuda in 1948. You hear it cited as “OMG BERMUDA TRIANGLE !1!1†a lot, but the plane was known to have been low on fuel and have other mechanical problems, so it probably was something more mundane. Maybe someday we’ll find the wreckage on the ocean floor and figure it out—but like I said, the ocean is big. (Incidentally, Star Dust and Star Tiger were from the same airline, and they also had another plane, Star Ariel, disappear the next year. I would NOT want to be their PR staff…)
The USS Cyclops was a Navy ship that disappeared in March 1918 while sailing from Barbados to Baltimore. It’s still the largest non-combat loss of personnel in the history of the US Navy. Two of her sister ships were known to suffer from structural problems and were also lost at sea, so there may have been a design flaw in their construction.
MV Joyita was a charter boat found abandoned in the Pacific in 1955. Like the Marie Celeste, the liferafts were missing even though the ship was seaworthy. The radio was broken, there was minor structural damage, and some of the cargo was missing, leading some to suspect piracy, but we don’t really know. The logbook, which might have given investigators a clue, was also missing, hence the song’s celebration of finding it.
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31: “Piltdown Man†was the name given to supposedly prehistoric bones of a human ancestor found in England in the 1910s. In the 1950s, they were determined to be a hoax (and kind of a sloppy one, too), but the perpetrator’s identity remains a matter of speculation.
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32: Ambrose Bierce, the author of “An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge†and other famous short stories, went missing in action while covering the 1910 Mexican Revolution. Bierce had written several stories with supernatural themes and so, like Edgar Allan Poe, the fact that the circumstances of his own death were ambiguous proved a fertile ground for fiction writers. (Even though people, y’know, disappear in war like all the time…)
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33: More undeciphered ancient scripts—Zapotec was the script used by the Zapotec civilization of present-day Oaxaca, Mexico, it may be one of the oldest writing systems in Mesoamerica. Isthmian is another Mesoamerican script, similar to the later Maya glyphs—the numbers and Long Count dates seem to be the same, but the glyphs are different, and we aren’t sure what language they represent. Linear A is a script found in the Minoan palaces of Crete, we think it might be the Minoans’ own writing system, but we don’t know what language they spoke or which one it represents, making decipherment a challenge.
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34: Charles Lindbergh, unlike Nungesser and Coli, safely made it across the Atlantic and landed at Paris’ Le Bourget airfield, but the crowd of fans swarmed his plane, cut off pieces of its skin as souvenirs, and stole his logbook from the flight. Aviation historians are still kicking themselves over this loss.
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37: The film Raiders of the Lost Ark ends with a famous scene of the Ark of the Covenant, recovered by Indiana Jones, being crated up and deposited in a government storage facility full of similar crates. The modern trope of “secret government warehouse full of mysterious stuff†largely stems from that scene—so it felt only fair to make the Ark the last object mentioned here as a tip of the fedora.
D’oy, *I* spelled it as “Marie” Celeste in the section on the Joyita after pointing out it was wrong… This is why I need to go to bed earlier.
I suppose the comment about not wanting to be a PR person working at the airline that had those three accidents is harsher in hindsight now.
Related — has anyone been following Weird Al’s recent releases? They’ve been fantastic so far. I actually think his latest album is #1 on the charts.
I have. My first listen through the album was in a illness-induced stupor, so I didn’t enjoy it much. But then I watched the music videos as they came out…wow. So much creativity packed into eight videos.
In an age where pop music goes unparodied, a forgotten hero will rise again. *dramatic accordion music*
To be sung to the tune of “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds”
Picture yourself in a fifties police box
Whose phone doesn’t work and is bigger inside
Somebody asks you if you are his Mummy
The boy with those huge gasmask eyes
He’s on the rooftop, just staring at you
Are you my Mummy, he said.
Climb up a rope to get closer to him
But he’s gone.
Rosie in the sky with zeppelins
Rosie in the sky with zeppelins
Rosie in the sky with zeppelins
Ahhhhhh-ahhhhhh…
Follow him down to a house that has dinner
Where homeless kids eat while the bombers fly by
Everyone’s happy until they hear voices
The boy with those huge gasmask eyes.
Go to the hospital, find Constantine
None of the people are dead
Patients chase you, Captain Jack beams you up
And you’re gone.
Rosie in the sky with zeppelins
Rosie in the sky with zeppelins
Rosie in the sky with zeppelins
Ahhhhhh-ahhhhhh…
Picture yourself near a crashed Chula warship
With nanites that make you both dead and alive
Suddenly Mummy embraces her child
The boy with those huge gasmask eyes.
Rosie in the sky with zeppelins
Rosie in the sky with zeppelins
Rosie in the sky with zeppelins
Ahhhhhh-ahhhhhh…
I really want to do a parody of “One Night in Bangkok”, but making the spoken parts scan right is so hard…