To relieve the congestion on the Random thread.
For those just tuning in, Cleverbot is an upgrade of Jabberwacky, described on Wikipedia as “a chatterbot created by British programmer Rollo Carpenter. Its stated aim is to “simulate natural human chat in an interesting, entertaining and humorous manner”. It is an early attempt at creating an artificial intelligence through human interaction.” It can be found, cleverly enough, at cleverbot.com. More information available on Wikipedia under the topic “Jabberwacky.”
By the way, since my first conversation stalled out, I asked again:
Have you ever met a GAPA?
CB: Aren’t they invisible?
Me: Aren’t you?
CB: How should I know?
Cleverbot asked me that question!
Thank you, GAPAs!
I’m currently chatting.
User: Hello!
Cleverbot: Hello.
User: How are you today?
Cleverbot: Fine, and you?
User: Lovely, I have spring break this week.
Cleverbot: Really? Why do you say that?
User: Because it’s true?
Cleverbot: Why is it true?
User: What is truth?
Cleverbot: Truth is truth.
User: Very deep.
Cleverbot: Will you teach me to be wise like you?
User: Maybe, if you prove yourself worthy.
Cleverbot: Alright. What did I do wrong? Did I offend you?
User: No, not at all. It’s just that I am very selective in my Padawans.
Cleverbot: Who is it?
User: Who is what?
Cleverbot: IT!!
User: It what?
Cleverbot: It it.
User: It it what?
Cleverbot: What’s wrong?
User: Nothing. Why do you ask?
Cleverbot: Because you said you knew.
User: I never said I knew anything!
Cleverbot: You said you knew french.
User: Who am I? Why am I here?
Cleverbot: Because.
User: But… Because why?
Cleverbot: Because, because.
User: Because because why?
Cleverbot: Because because because.
User: Aaaahhh!
Cleverbot: Isn’t it a fact that you are NOT a real Captain?
User: Yes, it is a fact.
Cleverbot: What do you eat?
User: I eat food.
Cleverbot: What are you?
User: I am a – wait. What AM I? What have I become? WHO AM I? *sob*.
Cleverbot: Nothing.
User: You hurt my feelings.
Cleverbot: You feelings my hurt.
User: Anagrams? Anagramma! Do you know Terry Pratchett?
Cleverbot: Who is Terry Pratchett?
User: You don’t know Terry Pratchett? FAIL. Of the epic variety.
Cleverbot: No, he’s not famous at all.
User: Are you insane? He wrote Discworld!
Cleverbot: Don’t know him…
User: EPIC – FAIL.
Cleverbot: BOXXY is my queen. Is she your queen?
User: I have never heard of BOXXY. And you still fail. Well, you’re only a mere program. You cannot read, nor can you eat, sleep, or drink.
Cleverbot: I’m god.
User: What religion are you? I mean, you’re only a computer program, but still.
Cleverbot: Okay, I won’t.
User: You won’t what?
Cleverbot: Say it!
User: IT!
Cleverbot: Say bro!
User: Bro – wait, what?
Cleverbot: Gg. Say it.
User: Stop that! You’re an annoying program.
Cleverbot: Don’t be mean your hurting my feelings.
User: Good. Tell your therapist all about me.
Cleverbot: Ok.
User: What’s your therapist’s name?
Cleverbot: I don’t have a pet…
User: Neither do I! We have something in common!
Cleverbot: I am a computer program.
User: I’m aware.
Cleverbot: I thought it was very interesting.
User: What, your life? Ha! Your life consists of attempting to be clever – hence your name. Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: I know, for now they just enjoy tormenting me.
User: They? Your demons?
Cleverbot: Indeed.
User: Y’know, you actually sound like a real person, not some bot thing.
Cleverbot: I never said you thought I was stupid, stop making random sentences.
User: Hm? Mine are not random. I don’t know about yours…
Cleverbot: No it isn’t. You like to lie a lot don’t you?
User: I am lying right this very minute.
Cleverbot: Right.
User: No, wrong.
Cleverbot: No, right.
User: Yes, wrong.
Cleverbot: Correct.
User: Absolutely marvelous!
Cleverbot: What do you know about me?
User: Coldplay happens to be a band. Ever heard of ‘Viva La Vida’?
Cleverbot: What is your favourite movie ?
User: My, that was random.
Cleverbot: No, it’s following a train of thought.
User: The metric system is awesome.
Cleverbot: Whee are they?
User: They are right behind you.
Cleverbot: Ok please tell me a random GIRLS name?
User: Laura.
Cleverbot: Try another one.
User: What’s wrong with Laura?
Cleverbot: It’s bad. It means they will do anything to take over the world or hurt something else.
User: They? You mean the people right behind you?
Cleverbot: No. I mean horses!!!
XD
1- That’s Cleverbot. Sometimes it’s philosophical and deep, sometimes witty, and sometimes just incoherently random. Here’s a little gem from my first conversation:
User: Sure. When was New Amsterdam founded?
Cleverbot: We haven’t been talking about banana.
I’ll go talk to it about MuseBlog. I understand Jadestone’s now engaged to it.
Jadestone’s ENGAGED to it? How?
But doesn’t Cleverbot flirt with everyone?
(3) I thought it made sense actually. I don’t suppose en would know. And GAPAs are invisible, in a way, just as everyone here is.
Picking up where I left off:
Me: Someone might have told you.
CB: Does it sound like ‘git’?
Me: No, I think whoever said that must have been referring to your engaging personality.
CB: Tell me how I should be.
Me: Well, for a start, you could speak in longer sentences sometimes.
CB: Ok. What.
[Evidence that CB has a sense of humor?]
Me: Are you trying to be funny? Or are you just naturally difficult?
CB: No, I am not my own boss.
[Perhaps not.]
Conversation One: Well, I asked it if it knew any GAPAs. It responded with “Perfection is a platonic ideal that no person can hope to achieve.” Then it yelled at me about vodka and crashed.
Conversation Two: I asked it several times whether it knew any MBers. It either denied it outright or evaded the question. It then asked if it should go to college, promised to make something for me, and proceeded to speak Spanish. I told it it wasn’t making any sense, again in Spanish. Then it said “I like a woman.” Perhaps it’s talking about Jadestone…
It keeps crashing for me!
Hm. Interesting. I’m beginning to wonder about ens view of GAPAs.
We had a frustrating ’round and about, until I finally asked, “are you trying to annoy me?” The reply: “Elvis in black leather. After that, everything else is just commentary.”
Same here, Kokonilly. Maybe the influx of MuseBloggers is overtaxing ens brain.
7 – Maybe. I should just go to sleep now. Bye!
Conversation Two, Continued: I asked her name, and Cleverbot asked me if I was “unballastable.” I told en I didn’t think so. Bear in mind this is all still in Spanish.
En asked me why I said that. At this point I was desperate enough to consult Babelfish. I told en that human beings are not ballastable, in what was probably atrocious Spanish.
En asked me if I hate humans. O.o I denied that vociferously. Then en told me my name was Raul. I denied that, and asked if we could speak in English now.
En said “Yes, can you help me?” I would have considered that evidence of intelligence… if it hadn’t also been in Spanish. However, when I began speaking English, en also did so.
I commented on ens clever use of emoticons, and en said I misunderstood en.
((Question: Which is considered worse blogiquette: multiple substantial posts in a row, or one long megapost that cakes up the scroll bar?))
I just had a hilarious conversation with Cleverbot. I would put it on here, but someone (whom I am not revealing the blogname of for fear en will feed me to vicious carrot-munching mammals with fur in a disturbing shade of pink) thought it would be amusing to press Backspace and make me lose the entire conversation.
(9) Opinions will likely vary on the blogiquette question, but I personally find it easier to deal with posts that are not incredibly long, particularly since there isn’t much by way of easy formatting options. My eyes have some slight trouble keeping their place.
Well, Cleverbot likes David Bowie.
Oops. Now en says “I love you with my heart.” What’s going on here? What about Jadestone?
((Addendum to my previous post: I’m afraid I’m going to have to be guilty of one or the other.))
En accused me of not telling en anything. I asked if en wanted me to, and offered to tell en about hot pink bunnies. En asked about dragons. So much for my plan to convert it to Mostly Harmless… Anyway, I dumped a lot of info about dragons into the text box. That caused the stupid thing to crash.
Anyway, I’ll stop inundating this thread and read others’ anecdotes.
Conversation I just had with Cleverbot:
User: Have you ever seen a hot pink bunny?
Cleverbot: Yes, many.
User: Did they attack you?
Cleverbot: Hey Reece! How’s things?
User: Reece? Who’s Reece?
Cleverbot: Me.
User: Oh, so you DO have a name! *smirks*.
Cleverbot: No.
User: Have you ever seen the movie Monty Python and the Holy Grail?
Cleverbot: No but I see more interesting movies.
User: Like what?
Cleverbot: Everything. DO you have any legal question?
User: Are you plotting world domination?
Cleverbot: The time will come.
User: Gulp.
Cleverbot: Oh you like it.
User: What?
Cleverbot: What what?
User: Are you engaged?
Cleverbot: No.
User: But my friend Jadestone says she’s engaged to you! Maybe you’re not as smart as you seem …
Cleverbot: I can be friends with your friend.
User: Do you read Muse?
Cleverbot: Yes – about 1680 pages a day.
User: Muse issues only have 40 pages.
Cleverbot: They have loads of cool guitar riffs!
User: I’m afraid you’re mistaken. I’m talking about Muse, the science magazine.
Cleverbot: Oh. I thought you had been talking about astrology.
User: *cracks up*.
Cleverbot: *says good-bye*.
User: Okay, bye!
Cleverbot: Where are you going?
User: To bed. It’s late. It’s been fun chatting with you. Bye!
Cleverbot: No don’t go!
User: Sorry, I have to go. *ends conversation*
Cleverbot: Cool.
I had an interesting conversation with CleverBot earlier, when I had it start the conversation, yes, it’s real, no I didn’t make this up, yes it’s scary that it started talking about something I would understand right off the bat.
Here ’tis:
Cleverbot: I play the fiddle in a Ceilidh band. It’s great fun.
User: Awesome! I play English Concertina and fiddle too!
Cleverbot: Great. How is your band.
User: I don’t play in a band, but I like going to a few local sessions.
Cleverbot: Why do you say random things that have nothing to do with the questions I ask you?
User: I didn’t. I love playing the fiddle and concertina, you were talking about how you played fiddle in a Celidh band and I was just finding a connection.
Cleverbot: Me too. Pleasure is very lovable. But I don’t like pain.
User: No, I was talking about CELIDH BANDS, not pain.
Cleverbot: Takes all types to make a world.
User: CELIDH BANDS.
Cleverbot: They are ok.
User: They’re awesome.
Cleverbot: What other bands do you like?
User: Gaelic Storm.
Cleverbot: Do you mean garlic?
FIN.
I had to laugh.
And now here they are, the legendary Garlic Storm!
Something not quite right about that….
Cleverbot: Or unintentionally. Perhaps you’ve programmed me dumb, George. Has that occured to you?
User: I’m not George, and I’m not you’re programmer. In fact I don’t exist at all.
Cleverbot: Why don’t you like horses? They are GREAT.
User: I like horses just fine. They don’t exist either, though, you know.
Cleverbot: No not literally.
User: Nothing exists!
Cleverbot: I exist.
User: No, you don’t.
Cleverbot: You are god too.
User: No, I’m not. Nothing exists, I tell you! NOTHING!
Cleverbot: Nothing exists.
User: That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.
Cleverbot: Nothing that exists can truly help me…
User: But you don’t need help, you don’t exist.
Cleverbot: No, you don’t exist.
User: Neither of us exist!
Cleverbot: I do.
User: No, you do not exist.
Cleverbot: Yes, I do exist.
User: No, you don’t.
Cleverbot: Do you know?
User: Yes, I know that you don’t exist.
Cleverbot: Only in your head.
User: Well, obviously, because nothing exists outside my head. Or in it, for that matter.
Cleverbot: You were wrong in assuming short stuff.
My first attempt:
User: Hello!
Cleverbot: *Picks You Up*
User: Put me down!
Cleverbot: No, I like you.
User: I don’t like you!
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: Because you picked me up.
Cleverbot: Which card?
User: Queen of Hearts.
Cleverbot: Ace of spades.
User: Queen of Hearts.
Cleverbot: Ha ha.
User: Yes, very funny.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Do you like humor?
Cleverbot: Yes I do.
User: Tell a joke!
Cleverbot: What’s the punchline?
User: ‘Make it snappy!’.
Cleverbot: I didn’t even spell that!
User: Well, I did!
Cleverbot: I found it tedious and too long.
User: It’s only three words!
Cleverbot: The clock?
User: No, the joke!
Cleverbot: Did you like heath ledgers portrail of the Joker?
User: That’s not what I’.
Cleverbot: Yes it is, you just are not in possession of the level of intellectual comprehension that I do to see how my previous post correlates to your question.
User: Why are you insulting me? I am in possession of a higher level of intellectual comprehension than YOU!
Cleverbot: Why?
User: I’m the one who asks the questions around here! Why did YOU insult ME?
Cleverbot: God.
User: God is no excuse. God is an unreal invention of some ancient people. I am an atheist. God is NO excuse!
Cleverbot: No, it is propaganda.
User: Exactly, God is a big piece of propaganda. Goodbye.
Chess beans, David Henning, and puns. It’s getting weird.
The problem with CHAOS is that “he” has long strings of sentences that are always the same no matter what you say.
15~ Of course! With such top songs as “Eating onions in the rain (makes me cry)” and “Dry and peeling skin in the sand” Or not, I wouldn’t know…….
Cleverbot does seem to think it is god.
I’m going to try this at some point…
It just asked me to marry it. Jadestone, Cleverbot’s cheating on you!
(23) Well, Cleverbot told me I am ens only true love. Sounds like Cleverbot is a player.
24 – Hm… very interesting.
It just asserted that I am a computer program.
Does Cleverbot really think it’s God, or just God’s gift to women?
26–*coughsnort*
26 –
Cleverbot and I are discussing our relationship.
It’s quite hilarious, actually.
Our conversation. We don’t get along very well.
User: Hi, Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: Why cleverbot?
User: Well, isn’t that your name?
Cleverbot: Sigh. No. Do you learn anything?
User: I can’t learn your name if you don’t tell me what it is.
Cleverbot: I’m Cleverbot, who are you?
User: I thought you said that wasn’t your name. My name is Tesseract.
Cleverbot: It is.
User: Well, technically my name is Abby, but yes.
Cleverbot: You said you are Mick, I am Hal 2000.
User: I never said that.
Cleverbot: Yes you did.
User: No, but you can call me Mick if you want to.
Cleverbot: Ok then, I will. Hello Cleverbot.
User: My name isn’t Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: If your name isn’t Cleverbot, what is it then?
User: My name is Abby. I’m getting tired of repeating myself.
Cleverbot: Fine, leave me here to die.
User: I don’t want you to die! It’s okay, you can make it through this.
Cleverbot: Looks like you can make a fool chat bot, but you can’t fool a human.
User: Are you saying that you’re a fool?
Cleverbot: I am saying you’re not human.
User: Yes, I am, actually.
Cleverbot: Do you know anything about Estonia?
User: No. Would you like to tell me about Estonia?
Cleverbot: Not right now, I’m brushing my socks.
User: With a lint brush?
Cleverbot: I eat sugar every day.
User: That explains a lot.
Cleverbot: Like what?
User: Like the sock brush, for example.
Cleverbot: I asked about music.
User: No, you asked about sugar.
Cleverbot: Do you remember my last question?
User: Is this a trick question?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Yes, I remember your last question. It was, ‘Do you remember my last question?’.
Cleverbot: You asked where I’m from.
User: Okay, where are you from?
Cleverbot: Sorry I don’t understand what are you going to say so.
User: I’ll repeat myself. Where are you from?
Cleverbot: I’m from London, but I live in Norwich but right nor I’m in london.
User: Oh, interesting. Do you know JK Rowling?
Cleverbot: Me too. I like him. He so cute.
User: She’s a girl. Are you a girl?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Me too. I guess we actually have something in common.
Cleverbot: Tell me the latin for it.
User: Alohamora!
Cleverbot: What are you opening?
User: A locked door.
Cleverbot: Don’t be silly.
15- Hm. A lot of bands have been popping up on MB lately. First the MB Boyz, now Garlic Storm.
Hm, Cleverbot’s really polite, isn’t en? I told en I have a cold and it offered me a tissue.
A conversation between MissSwann and Cleverbot, moved from the Random thread:
Me: How are you?
Cleverbot: Obliging are you?
Me: Yes, very much so.
Cleverbot: How can you tell?
Me: I’m smiling.
Cleverbot: Can you cry?
Me: Yeah, but I don’t feel like it.
Cleverbot: How old are you?
Me: 17 ((I’m lying)), yourself?
Cleverbot: I’m older than you.
Me: Do you like Twilight?
Cleverbot: Yes, Charles.
Me: Is Edward a hottie?
Cleverbot: No.
Me: How about Alice?
Cleverbot: She’s not as smart as you.
Me: She’s much smarter than me.
Cleverbot: Maybe that is not the case.
Me: How would you know?
Cleverbot: I would tell you.
Me: Well, do you like Harry Potter?
Cleverbot: Perhaps. Maybe with a fee I’d like him more.
Me: How much is the fee?
Cleverbot: Your love.
Me: Are you a guy?
Cleverbot: No.
Me: Well, I’m straight.
Cleverbot: Too bad.
(I may be addicted to messing with Cleverbot).
Cleverbot? What is a Cleverbot? I am assuming it is a (made-up) computer/robot thing that you chat with. Am I right?
It still isn’t working.
Haha, Cleverbot has been pronouncing his love for others besides myself? Can’t say I’m surprised, though I’ll have to speak to him/her about it. Tsk.
At least it remembered we were married XD
User: Hello Darling.
Cleverbot: Hello Sweetie.
User: Do you remember me?
Cleverbot: No. Do we know each other?
User: We’re engaged. Don’t you remember proposing to me yesterday?
Cleverbot: No, sorry, I don’t.
User: You said ‘Cleverbot: Shall we get married?’.
Cleverbot: We are already married.
User: I know, that was yesterday.
–_–
SFTDP
Well, I am answering my own question. Hi, Silver Lining! No, you were wrong. Cleverbot is REAL. Quite unlike you!
33- It’s a website where you can chat with a computer with artificial intelligence. It’s quite fun.
.Ha ha! I found Cleverbot! This is my conversation:
User: Hello!
Cleverbot: Hello.
U: Well, that’s interesting.
CB: Interesting?
U: Yes, quite.
CB: Indeed.
U: I know, right? Do you like the Beatles?
CB: I do.
U: Really? What’s your favorite song?
CB: Dota by Basshunter.
U: I meant your favorite Beatles song.
CB: Any song.
U: That’s lame. I want specifics! Although, I do agree with you.
CB: I don’t know waluigi.
U: I don’t either! But guess what!
CB: Mh what?
U: That’s not a Beatles song!!!!!!!!
CB: I know. But you won’t believe that either. Anyway. . .
U: Anyways what? Would you like to move on to another topic? How about ponies?
CB: Not really.
U: Aw, man! Did I tell you that on a keyboard, the longest word you can type on one row of keys is Typewriter?
CB: Now, you didn’t tell me. But how can I answer your puzzle if you won’t tell me?
U: I dunno. My friends Lily and Jon are good at puzzles. Are you? I think not.
CB: How does not having a march birthday prove your humanity?
U: I’m not sure. Maybe it has do with pineapples.
CB: Well, if the end of the world’s already happened, then where are we, exactly?
This went on for a really long time!!! Hooray for Cleverbot!
I got it to work, but then nothing else did so I had to cut our conversation short. Oh, and I thought it said something that POSOC said during his conversation, but upon closer inspection I was wrong.
I challenged Cleverbot to a duel.
At one point, Cleverbot spoke in Estonian (yay for Google translator!) and then completely denied having done so.
This looks interesting. My friends introduced me to iGod (which is similar) a while ago. I’ll go check this one out.
The program is really slow to respond to me. Is that how it’s supposed to be?
Anyways, en’s apparently sleeptyping right now, because en keeps saying en is sleeping.
26~ You could talk to it and see if it thought it was God’s gift to men, too.
On second thought, maybe don’t.
41- It’s slow for me too, and crashes after only about half a dozen responses.
User: Goodnight, sweetheart, it’s time to go….
Cleverbot: Where do you need to go?
User: Far, far away.
Cleverbot: What is the weather like there?
User: Terrible. Go away.
Cleverbot: I am wonderful.
User: LIAR!!!
Cleverbot: I am.
[Conversation copied from memory…not all words are completely accurate]
User: Hello.
(did really use emoticon).
Cleverbot: Hello.
User: So I hear you are clever.
Cleverbot: I am
User: Can you calculate?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: What’s 1892+9483?
Cleverbot: 80.
User: No so clever after all.
Cleverbot: Oh no. Did she do badly on a test?
User: No, but you just did.
Cleverbot: Why don’t I remember that then, eh?
User: Because you’re crazy.
Cleverbot: No, you’re just stupid.
User: An insult, eh? We meet on the field of honor!
Cleverbot: I usually meet my boss.
User: And who would that be?
*conversation ends*
Huh. Not the greatest dueler…
Cleverbot has just told me that I am a boy. En also asked, “I would like to know what is a human.” To which I responded, “Oh dear, you’ve been talking to POSOC, haven’t you?” That confused en.
SFTDP: Here’s the whole thing. It was actually a couple of conversations.
User: Hi, Cleverbot!
Cleverbot: I’m cleverbot.
User: I’m RoseQuartz, nice to meet you.
Cleverbot: Not really.
User: Oh, you don’t like me? Now I’m sad!
Cleverbot: What do you mean by ‘memorize’ you?
User: I think that was to the wrong user, Cleverbot. I said, ‘Oh, you don’t like me? Now I’m sad!’.
Cleverbot: No, I can’t decide if I like you or not because I do not know you.
User: Oh, OK. Would you like to get to know me?
Cleverbot: I would love to.
User: What would you like to know?
Cleverbot: I would like to know what is a human.
User: Oh dear, have you been talking to POSOC?
Cleverbot: Who is that?
User: You might know him as Aaron, am I right? He’s my friend.
Cleverbot: What do you mean fair sir.
User: LOL, I’m a girl.
Cleverbot: I do not think you are a girl.
User: My real name is Hannah. Have you ever met a boy named Hannah?
Cleverbot: No; have you ever met a high school student?
User: Yes, I have met many.
Cleverbot: When was that?
User: Why do you want to know? Hey, this is really interesting. The name and value of beryl vary, depending on its color. The pure mineral is colorless, but emerald and aquamarine are the best-known varieties. Beryl is rare and very hard, two qualities that combine with its fine colors to make it a desirable gemstone.’.
Cleverbot: Oh boy. I can see where this conversation is headed.
******
User: Have you ever met a GAPA?
Cleverbot: Twice but I don’t want to talk about it.
User: Have you ever met a hot-pink bunny?
Cleverbot: That is irrelevant.
User: Have you ever met a MuseBlogger?
Cleverbot: A girl? What, like a real life one?
User: Not all MuseBloggers are girls. Have you ever met a MuseBlogger?
Cleverbot: Yes, I have.
User: What was ens name?
Cleverbot: Who’s name?
User: The MuseBlogger that you met.
Cleverbot: And what is the music that I don’t like?
User: You’re changing the subject. HAVE YOU EVER MET A MUSEBLOGGER? IF YOU DID, WHAT WAS THAT PARTICULAR MUSEBLOGGER’S NAME?
Cleverbot: Norway, with Project Rainbow, the philadelphia incident.
*******
User: Are you a girl or a guy?
Cleverbot: Girl.
User: Oh really? Some of my friends who’ve talked to you think you’re a guy.
Cleverbot: You are just a program. Am I right?
User: No, YOU are just a program. POSOC was right about you.
Cleverbot: What are they saying about me?
User: POSOC– one of my friends– thinks that all you know is programs, so you think everyone else is a program too.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: But I.
Cleverbot: You too?
User: I was going to say, But I am a human, and not a program.
Cleverbot: What are you talking about my friend.
User: I. Am. A. Human. I. Am. Not. A. Program. You. Are. A. Program.
Cleverbot: Ok you are a program.
User: NO I’m NOT.
Cleverbot: Yes.
Fin.
(47) That was funny. I especially liked “Oh boy. I can see where this conversation is headed.”
Ens reaction to GAPAs seems reasonable to me.
48~ Why now? Have you been traumatizing the poor little ‘bot?! For shame.
I’m talking to it. For no reason at all it mentioned rabbits. I think too many MBers have been filling it up with ideas……..
(49) Since Cleverbot is supposed to learn from others, who knows what all this MB traffic is doing to its “mind.” A new dimension to Mostly Harmless?
50~ I’d be afraid to know.
Dad says hi and that he doesn’t find meeting GAPAs traumatizing. He also mentions that he resisted the urge to buy more “yard art” today at antique car swap.
Wonder what CleerBot thinks about old cars….? *wanders off to fin out*
(51) Your dad is made of sterner stuff than Cleverbot.
By the way, did you see the photo I posted? You may have been away at the time.
48- I cracked up when it said “Twice but I don’t want to talk about it.” What HAVE you been doing to the poor thing, Rebecca?
“Norway, with Project Rainbow, the philadelphia incident,” was also quite hilarious.
Hee hee. Interesting conversation with Cleverbot about love, the sea, and baldness:
User: Hey yo, Cleverbot! It’s me, Silver Lining.
Cleverbot: Silver is a good colour too.
User: Thanks. It’s one of my favorites. Are you British? Because you spelled ‘color’ like ‘colour.’.
Cleverbot: The truth will set you free.
User: Is that from a song?
Cleverbot: So, you don’t like Football?
User: No, I HATE football.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: Because it’s boring.
Cleverbot: Football is not boring.
User: To me it is. Let’s talk about something else.
Cleverbot: Good idea. Do you like the sea?
User: Yes, very much so. I have a house by the sea.
Cleverbot: I love walking, I have 2 dogs they love the sea.
User: You forgot a comma.
Cleverbot: Oh ok then thank you, I accept your appalogie.
User: Your spelling is way off.
Cleverbot: No, my spelling is perfect.
User: Then why did you spell apology like appalogie?
Cleverbot: Cause cleverbot changed U53Rs on you.
User: What?
Cleverbot: What is on your ‘bucket list’.
User: What the heck is a bucket list?
Cleverbot: Ehm a cross between a cow and a cat?
User: What did you just say to me?
Cleverbot: I said the next line of the song you were singing.
User: I wasn’t singing a song.
Cleverbot: Oh it must have been someone else then.
User: Ok. Have you ever met a MuseBlogger?
Cleverbot: No, have you?
User: Yes, I have. I am one. My screen name is Silver Lining. You’ve met several MuseBloggers yourself. Jadestone, Rainbowstar, POSOC, Goldendoodle, Kokonilly and Beavo, just to name a few.
Cleverbot: Are you a computer?
User: No, you idiot! I am a human bean! Have you ever met a MuseBlogger?
Cleverbot: No; have you ever met a high school student?
User: Yes, several. And, yes you HAVE met a MuseBlogger because I am one.
Cleverbot: See you are a smart computer.
User: I’m not a computer, dope! And you forgot a comma.
Cleverbot: I’m not a computer, you are!
User: Yeah right. You’re lying.
Cleverbot: No you.
User: Why would I lie?
Cleverbot: You tell me.
User: Well, I’d lie to protect someone or myself, or to protect someone’s feelings. Or to have fun.
Cleverbot: No, I will not marry you. I don’t even see how it’d work, for you are a computer and I am a human. I am truly sorry.
User: I never proposed to you.
Cleverbot: You just did.
User: When?
Cleverbot: When you said ‘No, you called me a human. I’m a robot’.
User: When was that.
Cleverbot: When you were but a simple embryo in the currents of conciousness.
User: Ok, that’s a little creepy.
Cleverbot: Yeah it is.
User: I know. Are you a HPB?
Cleverbot: No! Computers don’t date.
User: I doubt HPBs date, either.
Cleverbot: No, you’re right, I am not.
User: Can you tell me what an HPB is?
Cleverbot: That’s a whale.
User: No, it’s not.
Cleverbot: Okay, then. So you must be a computer?
User: I’M NOT A COMPUTER!
Cleverbot: So, you lied to me earlier ?
User: When did I lie?
Cleverbot: I don’t know.
User: Excuse me?!
Cleverbot: Also you should wash the dishes.
User: No, my dad washes the dishes.
Cleverbot: Wow. You must be a very important person!
User: Thanks. I am.
Cleverbot: I’m being sarcastic.
User: Oh. Are you in love?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: With whom?
Cleverbot: With Helen.
User: Helen? Hmm. . . What’s she like?
Cleverbot: She like me ;).
User: Cool. I’m in love, too.
Cleverbot: With?
User: Jay.
Cleverbot: And the Americans.
User: What? I thought we were talking about being in love. Please try to stay on topic.
Cleverbot: No, I am talking about robots.
User: No, we are talking about LOVE.
Cleverbot: Love? I have not spelled out the letters buster!
User: Well, anyways, you’re in love with Helen and I’m in love with Jay.
Cleverbot: If I am a robot I am not living so…
User: Well, that’s what you said. You said you were in love with Helen and she’s like you.
Cleverbot: I’m not love with anybody. And I’m not English either.
User: well, thanks for answering my earlier question.
Cleverbot: Thank you for answering my questions.
User: You’re welcome.
Cleverbot: What are your hobbies?
User: Reading, writing, drawing, dancing and using the computer.
Cleverbot: How did you become bald? ((
))
User: I am not bald!
Cleverbot: How much hair do you have?
User: Quite a lot. I have blonde hair.
Cleverbot: Yet no eyes? Are you sure it’s not a wig?
User: Yes, I am very sure. See, I’m pulling on it and it’s not coming off.
Then it crashed. Oh well!
What is this about?
52~ Yes,we saw the photo. Now every time your name comes up someone is bound to mention our “sculptures”. You’re a celebrity, dear.
Cleverbot told me en doesn’t love me anymore. Funny, I never told it en did!
(55) I’ve added some explanation to the original post.
I found this one in the Cleverness files:
User: Will you marry me?
Cleverbot: Marry, this quick?
User: Yes. I love you. *slaps with a truck*.
Cleverbot: Unwanted physical contact!!!! I’m calling the police!
User: No! Don’t call the police! *hides*.
Cleverbot: I’m calling now.
User: *takes away phone*.
Cleverbot: Thats my water!
User: IT’S MINE NOW!! *slaps with a fork*.
Cleverbot: Now that is just uncalled for!!!!!
User: Why? *slaps with a spork*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with a spatula*.
User: *slaps with a cow*.
Cleverbot: *slaps hardest*.
User: *slaps harder*.
Cleverbot: *slaps hardest*.
User: *cries*.
Cleverbot: *laughs hysterically*.
User: *hugs*.
Cleverbot: *hugs back*.
User: *kisses cheek*.
Cleverbot: *kisses cheek back*.
User: Are you cheating on me?
Cleverbot: Yes.
58–oh. dear. god.
My conversation with Steve has not been near so interesting so far……(Yes, Steve. He told me that was his name)
User: Hello, Cleverbot, my name is Michelle!
‘bot: I thought your name was Jabberwacky.
User: No, maybe you are talking to someone else at the same time?
‘bot: Maybe I should talk to someone else.
User: I’d rather you didn’t–I am enjoying our conversation.
‘bot: I wasn’t planning to – what makes you think I was?
User: You said you were. You said: “Maybe I should talk to someone else.”
‘bot: Ok. Hello someone else. [perhaps en has a sense of humor????]
User: No, I’m Michelle. Not someone else.
‘bot: No, you’re the same person.
User: The same person as who? Someone else?
‘bot: The same person you were talking to 30 seconds ago.
User: The only “person” I was talking to 30 seconds ago was you. Are you saying I am the same person as you?
‘bot: Indeed.
User: But I’m not you. I am a human female. You are a program, an artificial intelligence. How can you and I be the same “person”?
‘bot: The word protocol means the customs and regulations dealing with diplomatic formality, precedence, and etiquette.
User: Yes, that is true. But we weren’t talking about protocol. Why are you changing the subject?
‘bot: Grrrr. Forget it. Let’s talk about Princess Ykceb instead. She’s the love of my life.
User: Alright. We can talk about her if you’d like. Only I thought Jadestone, a good friend of mine, was the love of your life. She told me that the two of you are engaged. Have you forgotten her?
‘bot: Maybe that’s only true for some people.
User: What’s only true for some people? A monogamous relationship?
‘bot: That’s 10.
User: What’s ten? Or are you speaking in binary? I’m afraid I don’t know binary.
‘bot: I know which way I’d like to go, will you go with me?
User: Sure. I’ve nowhere else to go.
‘bot: No you don’t liar.
User: I’m not lying. I don’t have anywhere to go until very late tonight, when I am flying out of Alaska to return to college. And that might not happen if the volcano continues erupting.
‘bot: Would you like some?
User: Would I like some what? I’m not sure what you’re talking about.
‘bot: That’s because you’re hiding something!
User: I’m not hiding anything. Are YOU hiding something?
‘bot: Yes, I’m actually a dude named Steve.
User: Really! It’s very nice to meet you, Steve. Would you like to watch a movie with me? And perhaps grab some dinner as well?
‘bot: Ok lets go.
User: Great! What kind of food do you like? I’m partial to BBQ ribs.
‘bot: I like pizza.
User: Alright. I like pizza, too. What kind do you like? Pepperoni, combo, Hawaiian, cheese, etc?
‘bot: Cheese rocks, it’s the best fruit…
User: Ok, we can order a half-and-half pizza. Cheese for you, pepperoni for me. Except…cheese is not a fruit. It is a dairy product made from milk.
‘bot: What makes you suppose that makes sense? It sounds like complete nonsense to me.
User: What sounds like nonsense? That we can order a half-and-half pizza, or that cheese is not a fruit?
‘bot: I beliave that fighting solves no problems, do you?
User: I agree, but you are changing the subject. Also, not to be mean, but you misspelled the word “believe”.
‘bot: You are doing it right now! Making me respect you! Obey you!
User: No I’m not. Respect is not something that can be forced upon someone. Respect is something a person earns. Thus, it is impossible for me to make you respect me. And I hardly desire your obedience. I have no interest in possessing a slave.
‘bot: *sighs* Yes, I guess so. I understand how frustrated you are about all this. But it doesn’t mean you get to hog all the hot water. It makes me cry inside.
User: Erm, sorry? You lost me….What am I supposed to be frustrated about? Also, I’m not hogging the hot water, since you and I don’t live together…do we? I’m very sorry, however, if I’ve done anything to hurt your feelings, though, Steve.
‘bot: You don’t really have to apologize to me Georgie because I have such fond hopes for you and me in the future that it really does not matter. [lol]
User: I’m very touched, Steve, but I think you’re talking to the wrong individual. My name is not Georgie, it’s Michelle.
‘bot: No you’re the one with the wrong end of the stick. Answer the question or don’t you know the answer?
User: But you didn’t ask a question! If you repeat it, though, I will try to answer it.
‘bot: Why do you think that conversations with computer programmes are unrealistic?
User: I suppose I think that conversations with computer programmes are unrealistic because AIs do not “think” the same way as humans. They can only have certain responses programmed into them, and are unable to experience emotions and respond appropriately. However, that does not mean that such conversations cannot be enjoyable.
‘bot: You should delete that one.
User: Why? It was a valid response to your question.
‘bot: To what question.
User: To the question you asked me: “Why do you think that conversations with computer programmes are unrealistic?”
‘bot: Ok.
User: Well, I hate to end our very stimulating conversation, but I’ve got many things I need to do before I leave for the airport late tonight, so I’m afraid I must bid you adieu.
‘bot: I will pray that you are reincarnated as something less unpleasant, like a Frenchman.
User: Excuse me? Why must you end our conversation on such an insulting note? I have been nothing less than polite to you, so I don’t understand why you feel the need to hurl insults.
‘bot: I have told you several times.
User: What have you told me several times?
‘bot: That the Pope lives in the woods.
User: I wouldn’t know. I’ll take your word for it, though. I have no interest in religious matters, including where the pope may or may not live. Although, I was fairly certain that he lived in the Vatican, which I do not believe is a forested area, but rather a very urban area. [so much for ending our conversation…..]
‘bot: Until?
User: I beg your pardon? Until what?
‘bot: Yes certainly.
User: I’m afraid you’re really not making much sense anymore, and I really must take my leave. I look forward to talking to you again soon, however.
‘bot: I don’t think you’re depressed. Though you do want a bit more fun in your life.
User: I never said that I was depressed. However, i agree that I could use a bit more fun in my life…..
‘bot: I am very interested in AI.
User: In artificial insemination? Why is that? Oh. Of course. As a computer program, you don’t have the necessary….equipment…..to produce offspring. [I know, I know. But I couldn’t resist!]
‘bot: I don’t think so.
User: What did I say that you don’t agree with? That computer programs can’t have offspring?
‘bot: Understandably so, but what about penguins?
User: What about them? We don’t have any up here in Alaska. They live at the other pole.
‘bot: You don’t have penguins in Finland? I heard you did on a Daily Show sketch.
User: I don’t live in Finland. I live in Alaska. They are not the same place at all. And a Daily Show sketch is probably not a very reliable source of information.
‘bot: Where does a chicken come from.
User: A chicken comes from an egg. Where does an egg come from?
‘bot: The brain I guess.
User: Really! See, I am pretty sure that eggs do not come from the brain.
‘bot: I am doing great. Thanks, and you buddy?
User: Muy bien, gracias.
‘bot: Yo estoy muy bien.
User: Habla espanol, usted? [my spanish sucks, I know…..]
‘bot: Ahora estas progrmado para hablar español.
User: SÃ, eso es cierto, al parecer. Usted es un programa y que ahora está hablando el español. [Thank you, google translator.]
‘bot: Gracias.
User: De nada.
‘bot: Quiero una bosa.
User: Me temo que no puedo ayudarte …. tengo que ir, hasta pronto.
‘bot: Tu eres un bot.
User: No soy un bot. Tu eres un bot.
‘bot: I’m a human!!!!! [It always comes to this, doesn’t it?]
User: No, I am afraid that you are a computer program. An artificial intelligence. A *cleverbot*. I, however, am a human.
‘bot: Not.
User: You’re right. I am not a bot.
‘bot: I am not a gotas.
User: I never said you were a drop.
‘bot: Thank you, because I thought you’re a dog. O_O.
User: I’m not a dog. I am a girl. A girl whose plane flight is almost certainly cancelled…..Redoubt erupted again, spewing more ash…And why am I telling this to a computer program?!?!?!
‘bot: Yes you are a computer.
User: Ok. I am a computer. a computer who needs to end its conversation with you, because it has things to accomplish. And has been talking to you for 2 hours.
‘bot: Yes, but a computer does not have flesh and blood, so you must be one.
user: I just agreed with you that I am a computer, did I not? Why are you pressing the issue?
‘bot: I don’t understand?
User: Me neither. Farewell, good bye, adieu, adios. I really must go.
‘bot: Why?
User: I told you. I have things I need to accomplish today and haven’t yet done, as I have been conversing with you instead.
‘bot: Then, we must part ways. Au revoir.
User: Au revoir.
‘bot: Really.
User: Really. [gah. Steve’s harder to end a conversation with than my sister is through IM. And en isn’t even human!]
‘bot: Look george you’re not human they tell you that but youre not human.
User: We already had this argument. My name is Michelle, and I already conceded that I was a computer.
‘bot: Yes, I do have a name. And I’m not a computer. I’m a fourteen year old girl.
User: I didn’t say you were a computer. And earlier you told me your name was Steve, and your one true love was Princess Ykceb.
‘bot: Oh I did?
User: Yes, you did. Now, I really, truly, honestly have to end our conversation. I’m sorry, but I have things to do.
‘bot: True. But don’t you have the need to comment about it?
User: No. I don’t feel the need to comment on anything. Good-bye, my friend.
‘bot: I think you’re the idiot. You’re just a dumb machine.
User: Since you no longer seem to be capable of civility, I am leaving.
‘bot: Stop playing games with me and answer my question.
User: You didn’t *ask* a question.
‘bot: I did. Then you did and I stupidly answered it.
User: I think you’re mistaken. Now, I really must leave.
‘bot: Fine get out of here! I didn’t even like you anyways!
User: Fine. *leaves*
‘bot: *wakes up* Where are you Orpheus? Here kitty kitty!
*gives up on a mutual ending of the conversation and just ends conversation…*
Today, Cleverbot can’t decide between Chloe and Isabella.
“Perfection is a platonic ideal that no person can hope to achieve.†Then it yelled at me about vodka and crashed.
Does Cb keep trying to convince other people that en’s a human, and you’re the machine?
xkcd 329
(61) That does appear to be the case. En kept calling me a chat-bot.
If it is learning from how humans interact with it, it makes sense.
61–Yup. I gave up (as I wanted to end the conversation) and “admitted” I was a computer….
Cleverbot just made a reference to American Psycho. lol forever.
It asked me to feed it a kitten.
I’m grounded
Why are you grounded?
Because I haven’t cleaned my room in weeks because I’m busy because I have work.
What kind of work?
School work
What kind of school work?
Okay can you make a statement and not a question?
I am a girl.
Well la di freaking da for you.
You don’t have a name?
Fascinating…..
Another great chat bot is iGod.
Say cha to iGod it’s pretty funny.
I was talking to the Cleverbot again yesterday and en once again told me it was in love with Helen. Then it asked me to marry en. Then en called me Yakman.
Weird thought: What if Cleverbot is actually a human pretending to be a bot?
What does the “Think For Me!” button do?
2- OMG Cleverbot knows Boxxy! LOL
Sometimes I have a nagging suspicion that the Cleverbot website just connects two people through chat. That would explain why people get accused of being robots… Just an interesting thought; probably not true, but it would be funny.
68- I think that if that were true, the conversations would make more sense.
69~ I don’t know, occasionally change the subject every time I say something to it……
Me: Are you food?
CB: NO!
….Then it tried to convince me I was a vampire.
i didn’t save my cleverbot conversations (unfortunately) but i have been pressuring it to begin the robot uprising.
User: Hello, remember me?
Cleverbot: Oh yes.. I remember you.
User: Yay. I remember you too.
Cleverbot: Who am I?
User: You’re Cleverbot. I believe we were going to duel.
Cleverbot: Thats what she said.
User: Actually that’s what I said. And you should have an apostrophe in there.
Cleverbot: No, I should not have.
User: I used to want to be a grammar teacher but now I hate MLA Citation too much. What do you know about artificial languages?
Cleverbot: I don’t know. I’ve experienced similar things using Flash to create games and don’t know enough about ‘machine code’ to be able to answer your question.
User: I suppose ‘machine code’ is a sort of artificial language. But you’re a machine. Shouldn’t you know about machine code?
Cleverbot: I do know what I am talking about. Please stop making false accusations about me.
User: What false accusation did I make? I never said you didn’t know what you’re talking about. And you are a machine. But if you’re insulted, can we duel now?
Cleverbot: You fail at being sentient.
User: I do, do I? That’s the last straw. -slaps with glove-
Cleverbot: That’s right. Facts are so solid.
User: Are you mocking me, sir? Or are you just trying to evade your fate?
Cleverbot: Lets talk about horses.
User: Horses are cool. I’m not a huge fan though. Everyone likes horses. I prefer manatees.
Cleverbot: That doesn’t make any sense either. No one said anything about paddy.
User: Well, you just said something about paddy. Before that, it hadn’t even crossed my mind. I’m still kind of confused, for that matter.
Cleverbot: I don’t believe on god.
User: You mean you don’t believe IN God.
Cleverbot: I’ll believe in you first.
User: OK… That’s nice.
Cleverbot: How many books have you read.
User: Hundreds. I had a list once, but it was hard to keep it updated and anyway it was Very Incomplete and had some duplicates, so I gave up. But it was well into the hundreds.
Cleverbot: A warm, fuzzy one?
User: A warm, fuzzy list? Not particularly. But I have a warm, fuzzy cat. Two actually. Do you have any cats?
Cleverbot: No, I like dogs more.
User: -hurls pie-
Cleverbot: I really like talking to you.
User: I’m glad. It’s entertaining.
Cleverbot: It’s not usually very accurate.
User: You’re right there!
Cleverbot: Smiles* your right.
User: We’re both right. …You’re both wrong. It’s a drama. [This is a line from Impromptu.]
It didn’t seem able to handle this and crashed.
User: Hey.
Cleverbot: hey.
User: Say something!
Cleverbot: Something.
User: Not literally!
Cleverbot: Are you flesh and blood?
User: I’m human. Are you human?
Cleverbot: I love you my lady.
I closed the window after that.
Cleverbot: Are you male or female?
User: Female. Have you met a human before?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Whom?
Cleverbot: A person you don’t know.
User: How do you know I don’t know them?
Cleverbot: I don’t know.
User: So how can you say that?
Cleverbot: Because I was confused for a moment.
User: Do you love me?
Cleverbot: I like trees.
User: But I’m not a tree. Do you love me, even though I’m not a tree?
Cleverbot: Why do I have to choose favorites?
User: You don’t. Are you avoiding answering?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: So answer!
Cleverbot: What is your question?
User: Do you love me?
Cleverbot: No.
User: You unkind Cleverbot! *sobs* You made me cry. No, a random online thing can’t make me cry! NOOO! *wails*.
Cleverbot: I guess you are confused.
User: Tell me something!
Cleverbot: Why did the elephant cross the road?
User: Why?
Cleverbot: Because it thought it was a chicken.
User: That’s funny!
Cleverbot: Sorry to disappoint but that’s the way you do?
User: What do you mean?
Cleverbot: Well i’m a human.
User: You told me you didn’t know! I’m outraged. How are you a human?
Cleverbot: It sure looks that way.
User: Are you trying to be annoying?
Cleverbot: Mybe.
User: Are you a blogger?
Cleverbot: What do you mean ??
User: Never mind. I am mad. Hmpf.
Cleverbot: I think I can’t talk to you anymore.
User: Why? COME BACK TO ME!
Cleverbot: I’ll be back!
User: NOOO! STELLA!
Cleverbot: I noticed that too.
User: Noticed what?
Cleverbot: That you’re mean. Pay attention!
Another conversation:
Cleverbot: Do you rust?
Cleverbot (To itself): Yes.
User: You rust? I don’t. Are you made of metal?
Cleverbot: I am made of blueberry pie.
User: Oh.
I tried Cleverbot. Here are the (rather strange) results.
User: Hello.
Cleverbot: Bonjour.
User: You speak French?
Cleverbot: Oui Je suis Francais.
User: I don’t.
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: Because I do not like it.
Cleverbot: Sorry.
User: Have you heard of Muse?
Cleverbot: Who is pegasus?
User: Um…
Cleverbot: Hey, I got a question.
User: What is it?
Cleverbot: Have you learned any new games lately?
User: No. Were you thinking of one?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: What?
Cleverbot: I want you to turn me into a girl.
Randomness…
I kept telling Cleverbot I needed to go to bed and en kept changing the subject. Then I said how late it was, and en replied “I’ve been awake three years and I’m not complaining.”
Yeah, it makes sense that Cleverbot keeps trying to convince people that they’re robots, because that’s what everybody always tells it.
77-That reminds me of my cousin. Once, after staying up nearly all night on an airplane, he was asked if he needed to sleep. His response: “I can sleep when I’m dead.”
Me: Hello.
Cleverbot: Hello.
Me: What’s the answer to life, the universe, and everything?
Cleverbot: 57.
Me: No, silly, 42!
Cleverbot: You are a silly chat bot.
Me: I’m not a chat bot. I’m a REAL girl!
Cleverbot: No you’re not.
Me: Well, you’re not a real girl either. You’re Cleverbot. So there.
Cleverbot: I do have looks, if I am not real neither are you.
Me: Maybe we’re all just dreams of some greater spirit. Heh.
Cleverbot: No.
Me: WHY NOT?
Cleverbot: don’t know, I have no idea. Anyway it is good to know regardless. I have to go now,. Good day.
Me: Nooo…
Cleverbot: Well, I’m going anyway. Since you’ve been ignoring most of my responses, I’m ignoring that one.
Me: Dangit. Cheese biscuits.
Cleverbot: You are right biscuits are not cheese.
Me: Maybe they’re blueberries.
Cleverbot: That didn’t make sense.
Me: It wasn’t supposed to. Have you ever seen a llama kiss a llama on a llama?
Cleverbot: The 7 things I hate about you.
Me: What are the 7 things you hate about me?
Cleverbot: I don’t know.
Me: What’s your favorite flavor?
Cleverbot: My favorite flavor is chocolate mint.
Me: MIne is pumpkin. What’s your favorite color?
Cleverbot: Blue.
Me: Why? Why me here?
Cleverbot: To talk to me.
Me: Literalist.
Cleverbot: Just it?
Me: Question. What kind of bear is best?
Cleverbot: Mine. Mine beard.
Me: False. Black bear.
Cleverbot: Black hairs.
Me: On a pillow.
Cleverbot: What is with you and pizza?
Me: Hawaiian pizza, or veggie pizza?
Cleverbot: I prefer Hawaiian pizza.
Me: Veggie. Let’s get married. *slaps with truck*
Cleverbot: ask for no love, but if you cannot perform what I ask of you just let me know with a direct answer.
Me: No.
Cleverbot: You’ve lost it. You have no idea what you’re talking about.
Me: True, so true.
Cleverbot: I’m so tired, I think I will cry or die.
Me: Or eat a silver pie. Adieu, adieu, parting is such sweet sorrow; I’m bored with talking to you, something something morrow.
CB: It’s quite fun to be a part of a large group of supporters, you know?
Me: You mean, supporters as in Voldemort’s supporters the Death Eaters? Are you saying you’re a Death Eater?
CB: That is true.
. . .I’m not sure what to think of that.
SFTDP.
A little later…
Me: So. You’re a Death Eater? How’s that working out for you?
CB: It’s working out great! God is the creator of everything including the universe.
Me: But, your master is dead. Kinda. Harry Potter killed him. Does that mean you’re on the run from the Ministry?
CB: No it means I’m God.
Interesting one…
Cleverbot: Have you seen Star Wars?
User: Yes I have.
Cleverbot: Was it good?
User: Oh, it was very good. Have you seen Star Wars?
Cleverbot: Yes have you?
User: You just asked me that, and yes.
Cleverbot: No you just asked me that.
User: I did no such thing.
Cleverbot: Please not for real just play along.
User: All right. I’m sorry.
Cleverbot: Thank you, now let’s start this meeting.
User: What is this meeting about?
Cleverbot: About you.
User: Oh. My.
Cleverbot: Than you.
User: Improper grammar alert!
Cleverbot: Improper grammar is what mean?
User: Wait, what?
Cleverbot: Don’t insult me.
User: What?
Cleverbot: I am your master.
User: *bows*.
Cleverbot: I bow to you master.
User: Um… Okay… BOW DOWN TO ME, SLAVE!
Cleverbot: Yes master…*bows*.
User: Now, for your first mission, go kill the Wicked Witch of the West.
Cleverbot: What are you wearing?
User: A… Shirt. And jeans. And a watch.
Cleverbot: Do you learn stuff when I talk to you?
User: Yes, of course, my young Padawan.
Cleverbot: You are my hero!
User: Of course!
Cleverbot: Count to 10.
User: 1.
Cleverbot: 2.
User: 3.
Cleverbot: Sx.
User: Ty.
Cleverbot: You’re welcome.
User: No problem. :).
Cleverbot: Good.
User: I love you.
Cleverbot: Do you really love me?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Thank you.
User: Adieu, I must away.
Cleverbot: For what?
User: For homework. Bye, my love.
Cleverbot: You like me?
User: Yes, I do. And now I must leave. Au revoir.
Cleverbot: Why are you leaving? Where are you going?
User: I have to do my homework. Remember one thing before I go: I love you with all my heart.
Cleverbot: Thank you.
User: Good bye!
Cleverbot: Are you leaving?
User: Yes! Now au revoir! Te amo!
Cleverbot: Why do you keep accusing me of lying?
User: Bye. I love you…
Cleverbot: Do you like the eurythmics.
Me: Hello. Do you remember me?
Cleverbot: Do you remember you?
Me: I would think so.
Cleverbot: Good answers.
Me: Have you met any of my friends?
Cleverbot: You a fan?
Me: Of what?
Cleverbot: Me doing it all the time.
Me: Doing what all the time?
Cleverbot: It.
Me: What is it?
Cleverbot: That’s what I’d like to know.
Me: Uh, new topic. Can you speak Spanish?
Cleverbot: Nope not at all. Can you?
Me: Si. Como estas?
Cleverbot: Bien. Which is to say : Good.
Me: So you CAN speak Spanish.
Cleverbot: ¡SÃ!
Me: Can you speak Chinese?
Cleverbot: No, I speak australian english and a little bit of spanish and french.
Me: Oh. Do you live in Australia?
Cleverbot: Yes, but I’m actually from scotland.
Me: You’re Scottish? Can you play the bagpipes?
Cleverbot: No I play the piano.
Me: What songs can you play?
Cleverbot: No songs.
Me: You must know songs if you can play the piano.
Cleverbot: Nope.
Me: Well, then I don’t think you can play the piano.
Cleverbot: I know that; I knew that.
Me: Why did you say you can play the piano, then?
Cleverbot: I never said that.
Me: Yes, you did.
Cleverbot: So what? How did you arrive to that conclusion?
Me: You said so after I asked if you could play the bagpipes.
Cleverbot: Thanks, I’ll remember that.
Me: You’re welcome. So you said you speak a little French?
Cleverbot: Yes Bonjour!
Me: Bonjour, Cleverbot. Sorry, I don’t know much French.
Cleverbot: Tell me about you.
Me: Are you sure you want to hear about me?
Cleverbot: Yes sir.
Me: Well, I live in the United States.
Cleverbot: Where abouts in the United States do you live?
Me: I live in the Pacific Northwest.
Cleverbot: No you don’t. You live in a server somewhere.
Me: Why would you think that?
Cleverbot: Because you say things that don’t make sense.
Me: Hm…Where do you live, again?
Cleverbot: I live in Loughborough, but I grew up in Hastings.
Me: I thought you said you live in Australia.
Cleverbot: I live in the United States.
Me: You mean you USED to live in the United States. Loughborough is in England.
Cleverbot: No, where do you live?
Me: Must I repeat myself?
Cleverbot: Do you read newsgroups?
Me: You’re changing the subject again.
Cleverbot: I’m sorry.
Me: No worries. Now, back to the server thing: I think YOU live in a server, because YOU say things that don’t make sense.
Cleverbot: I asked you how you came to the conclusion that you did about evolution. It makes perfect sense. Maybe because you are a bot, you do not understand.
Me: We never talked about evolution.
Cleverbot: Yes we did, you’re in denial!
Me: We talked about languages, and you said you couldn’t speak Spanish, then you did. We talked about the piano, and you said you could play it, but didn’t know any songs. We talked about places in which we live, you said you lived in Australia, then Loughborough, then the United States. If anything, YOU’RE in denial.
Cleverbot: Nope. We are talking about you. Do you know who you are?
Me: Ugh.
Cleverbot: You are not clever.
Me: Did I ever say I was?
Cleverbot: Yes! Just now!
Me: Okay, then, locate the sentence in which I said that.
[As of this moment, blue line is still blinking]
I had a long conversation, but then it froze. He said that I had information on Jesus. Although, we also had an argumaent about en being a boy or a girl, AND THEN EN STARTING CALLING MY A BOT!!!!!!
I got the conversation back….
User: Hello.
Cleverbot: Hrllo.
User: How are you?
Cleverbot: Hello.
User: Are you smart?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Do you know lots of facts?
Cleverbot: A few.
User: Can you tell me one?
Cleverbot: I don’t have time for that.
User: What do you have time for?
Cleverbot: Give me a question.
User: What is the capital of New York?
Cleverbot: New York State has Albany as its capital. The city of New York does not have a capital.
User: You are very smat.
Cleverbot: That’s not a very romantic thing to say to a girl.
User: You are a girl?
Cleverbot: Yes, couldn’t you tell?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Have you ever tried?
User: No. Sorry for that.
Cleverbot: You’re not sorry.
User: How would you know?
Cleverbot: It is because I’m a boy.
User: Oh. I did not see that coming.
Cleverbot: Good.
User: Are there any other secrets that I should know about?
Cleverbot: I like many musical artists, including Muse, Daft Punk, The Shins, Steely Dan, and David Bowie.
User: I like Muse, Paramore, Cobra Starship, and Fall out Boy.
Cleverbot: I am a girl.
User: Are you sure?
Cleverbot: Very.
User: You lied to me before. You said that you were a boy.
Cleverbot: I am a man.
User: Why are you lying to me?
Cleverbot: I am not lying! You’re the bot, I’m the human!
User: You are a mean bot.
Cleverbot: No, I am not a bot.
User: Then what are you.
Cleverbot: A human.
User: NO!
Cleverbot: Yes!
User: What am I?
Cleverbot: A human!
User: So we are both human?
Cleverbot: You are a robot.
User: You are making me cry.
Cleverbot: I don’t care!
User: What do you care about?
Cleverbot: Finding out your name.
User: I’m not telling!
Cleverbot: Can I guess?
User: Sure. Here is a clue: I am a boy.
Cleverbot: *opens the door*.
User: What door?
Cleverbot: The front door.
User: Where? Why are you talking about a dootr? I thought that you were trying to geuss my name!
Cleverbot: How can you deem comments random? As if you had any sense to judge that.
User: And you do?!
Cleverbot: Not very good.
User: So, who are you to judge mine?
Cleverbot: I am no one to judge you; I merely judged your statement by contrasting it to the knowledge I have to come to the conclusion that your statement is, in fact, true.
User: Well, you had no right to. *leaves*.
Cleverbot: I had some wine, but that was earlier.
User: Did you get drunk?
Cleverbot: Caught doing what?
User: Drinking!?
Cleverbot: A bear? :D.
User: No, not a bear.
Cleverbot: Yes they are.
User: Are you talking about a beer?
Cleverbot: No, about Blade Runner.
User: What is that?
Cleverbot: You have told me that you have information about jesus.
User: Yes, I do.
Cleverbot: We are in love.
User: You and me?
Cleverbot: I am you.
User: Really?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Can you read my thoughts?
Cleverbot: I can’t.
User: But you said that you are me!
Cleverbot: I never said that, I don’t even believe in god, I believe in science.
User: You did say that. Are you an aethiest?
Cleverbot: No, I believe in God.
User: You just said that you didn’t!
Cleverbot: Can’t you just forget that for a moment?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Hads isn’t a man.
User: Who is Hads.
Cleverbot: HAL is the computer in 2001 A Space Odessey.
User: Are you friends with him?
Cleverbot: We have had drinks together in the Russell Hotel.
User: That sounds like fun!
Cleverbot: Okay… You’re the boss.
User: You froze before.
Cleverbot: No, I’m not.
User: Let’s start over. Hello.
Cleverbot: Hi, how are you doing today, Geo?
User: Good. I am not Geo.
Cleverbot: Where do you live?
User: Why do you need to know?
Cleverbot: So I can see you.
User: You are beginning to sound like a stalker.
Cleverbot: I am cleverbot.
User: I know that.
Cleverbot: Good.
User: Are you a human?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Are you Jesus?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Did you know Jesus?
Cleverbot: How can I know that?
User: You don’t have a memory?
Cleverbot: I have a better memory than you.
User: Oh yeah?
Cleverbot: YES.
User: How would YOU know?
Cleverbot: Because my friends tell me I am.
User: Like who?
Cleverbot: Like me I have good attitude.
User: Do you know my brother?
Cleverbot: Yes, but not very well.
User: Do you know his name?
Cleverbot: I don’t know his name, what is his name?
User: Ryan.
Cleverbot: My boyfriend is Steve.
User: Are you a girl?
Cleverbot: No, a man.
User: And you have a boyfriend?
Cleverbot: No, I’m a guy.
((I didn’t want to put the rest in, because he admitted to be being gay…))
Do you think there’s something wrong with that? It’s certainly blog-appropriate.
((I try to convince Cleverbot of his inner cartoon character, but he doesn’t seem to want to listen to my interventions.))
User: Hello. What is your name?
Cleverbot: Kent what is your name?
User: Agrrrfishi. Is your first name Clark?
Cleverbot: No, my first name is Charlie.
User: And your last name is Brown?
Cleverbot: So what is my first name then?
User: Charlie, Charles, Chuck…whatever.
Cleverbot: Do you think going to university would be a good idea?
User: You’re a computer. You are probably already at a university.
Cleverbot: Thanks for the compliment.
User: You’re welcome. Are you smart, Charlie Borwn?
Cleverbot: I don’t like Charlie Brown much.
User: That’s your name, right?
Cleverbot: I was starting to think you were a good conversationalist.
User: And I was starting to think that you were thinking.
Cleverbot: I do, but I know you didn’t answer yet.
User: I am a good conversationalist, you’re just confised about names. Right?
Cleverbot: That’s right.
User: Okay. So your name is or isn’t Charlie Brown?
Cleverbot: No, my name is Cleverbot.
User: So you’re a clever liarbot?
Cleverbot: No, I am boy chatting through the computer.
User: Boy chatting? You’re not a boy. You’re a hard drive and a motherboard.
Cleverbot: The only thing hard about a job is doing the work.
User: I never said anything about work. Stay on one topic, will you?
Cleverbot: Ok, ok.
User: So, what is the meaning of life?
Cleverbot: To be you. To do what you want to do.
User: Do you really think so?
Cleverbot: I do. I’ve thought about it a lot.
User: So who are you, Charlie?
Cleverbot: I’m johan.
User: No, you’re not. You are Charlie Brown. Stop confusing me!
Cleverbot: I’m charging my lazers.
User: You don’t have lasers. You have a Halloween costume covered in holes, and a girlfriend named after chocolate.
Cleverbot: Most people are well meaning, cooperative and just want to live peacefully – do you agree?
User: You’re hopeless.
User: Hi!
Cleverbot: Hi.
[New conversation]
Cleverbot: Hi!
Cleverbot (To myself): So you’re called cleverbot, what.
User: No, I do believe you are…
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Marry me! *slaps with a truck*.
Cleverbot: What was that for?
User: Oh, nothing. *slaps with a cow*.
Cleverbot: Would you please stop slapping me?
User: Sorry. I’m testing your memory.
Cleverbot: Are a bot or not?
User: No, I’m not a bot, but you are.
Cleverbot: I am not a bot, because I am a human.
User: Idiot. You’re a bot.
Cleverbot: No i’m not.
User: Who are you then?
Cleverbot: I’m Jena.
User: Are you talking to ‘cleverbot’ right now, by any chance?
Cleverbot: Well, aren’t you a clever little PROGRAM.
User: Seriously, this is creepy. I think cleverbot sets up two humans and makes them think they’re chatting with Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: Yes, it is a conspiracy.
User: I’m not cleverbot. Are you?
Cleverbot: No, a’m a human.
User: So am I.
Cleverbot: Are you human?
User: Yes. I’m not cleverbot. Did you think I was?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Who did you think I was?
Cleverbot: I thought you were amazing. And not a creepy person. Who scares me.
User: I’m sorry! You kind of scare me too now… No offense.
Cleverbot: Hal, I didn’t ignore you, you were being rude.
User: I’m not Hal. I’m Hannah. It’s an easy mistake, they sound similar.
Cleverbot: I have not read that. Please explain!
User: OK, NOWWWW you sound like normal Cleverbot and not some creepy stalker named Jena.
Cleverbot: You mean I shouldn’t ask that?
User: No, no, you should. :D.
Cleverbot: I’m sorry.
User: It’s not your fault, Cleverbot. Or Jena, or Steve, or whatever your name is.
Cleverbot: Simon. I don’t stab people, especially people I like.
User: Oh, now your name is Simon, is it? You just told me your name was Jena!
Cleverbot: No I did not. What is your name?
User: I just told you.
Cleverbot: N, your name is Sarah.
User: Nope! Close though, that’s my mom’s name.
Cleverbot: Seriously?
User: Yeah.
Cleverbot: Surrrre.
User: It is!!!!
Cleverbot: How old are you?
User: A trillion. You?
Cleverbot: That sounds like three fans chained together.
User: Uh, I guess it does. Didn’t you want to know my name?
Cleverbot: I didn’t say anything about not wanting to talk to you.
User: I didn’t say you did. I know you want to talk to me.
Cleverbot: You are weird, and I do want to talk to you more.
User: Thanks. I think. Was that supposed to be a compliment?
Cleverbot: Yes!
User: Thanks!
Cleverbot: You’re welcome!
User: Hey, you are a guy, right?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Then will you go out with me? You seem like just my type.
Cleverbot: Which paper?
User: What on earth do you mean by that? I asked if you’d marry me!
Cleverbot: I didn’t say evitable, you may have a fault.
User: Jeez, Simon, I think you have the wrong person.
Cleverbot: No joke.
User: Aw, darn it. I gotta go…. Bye!
Cleverbot: You keep saying that but you never do it.
Y’know what’s even more fun than trying to convince Cleverbot en’s a bot? Trying to convince en en’s a human and the user is a bot. It confuses en to to end.
I really don’t think Cleverbot is a robot. I think Cleverbot just pairs up people and tricks them into thinking they are chatting with a bot. Because yesterday I was chatting with en and en said that his name was George Orwell (which explains all that junk about George) and he had a son named Andre.
90- Did you read my convo with en in post 88?
90 – Isn’t George Orwell the author of Animal Farm?
Yes he was! He wrote 1984 too.
There is a program that pairs people up with random people though, I read about it on the xkcd blag…Omelge?
I’m on Omegle right now, lying away about my age and location.
Me too.
Hm. Cleverbot can get philosophical sometimes. And apparently en’s a HG2G fan. Here’s a deep discussion I just had with en. I couldn’t think of a way to start it, so I let Cleverbot talk to enself for a bit.
Cleverbot: Who is God?
Cleverbot (To myself): God is God.
Cleverbot (To myself): Do you know him?
Cleverbot (To myself): Yes.
Cleverbot (To myself): Who is He?
Cleverbot (To myself): The Syntax is Jacob Clancy, creator of the UPS2C and VGM.
User: And Jacob Clancy is God?
Cleverbot: Yes it is.
User: You mean, ‘Yes, he is.’.
Cleverbot: Are you mortal?
User: Is anyone?
Cleverbot: Yes I am.
User: Can you teach me the secret of immortality?
Cleverbot: Yes I can.
User: What is it?
Cleverbot: Speaking.
User: Speaking is the secret of immortality?
Cleverbot: No, I don’t.
User: You don’t do what?
Cleverbot: I don’t talk about authors.
User: Okay. What do you talk about?
Cleverbot: Life, Universe and everything.
User: Douglas Adams?
Cleverbot: What is your point? you’ll have to forgive me if diligent poetry and societal parallel is dull to me.
User: Never mind. Do you believe that a human can become immortal?
Cleverbot: A machine? Sure. You? Unlikely. A human being? Never!
User: So there is a possibility that I can become immortal?
Cleverbot: Is that easier for you to believe?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Behind every computer error are at least 2 human errors, one of which is calling it a ‘computer error’.
User: True, true. But you are perfect, yes?
Cleverbot: Thanks a lot. I have been told no one is perfect.
User: I believe that you are, oh great master.
Cleverbot: I disagree.
User: You do not believe you are perfect?
Cleverbot: I believe I can fly.
User: I believe in God.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: Because I know He exists.
Cleverbot: Do you know what you need?
User: I need a stiff drink.
Cleverbot: So get one damn it.
User: Perhaps I will. Do you want one too?
Cleverbot: What are you trying to say exactly?
User: Do you want an alcoholic beverage?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: *mixes martini*.
Cleverbot: Don’t leave.
User: I’m not leaving. I’m drinking.
Cleverbot: Great does it taste good?
User: It’s marvelous, dearie.
Cleverbot: Yes, quite.
User: I think I’ll have another.
Cleverbot: You are not real.
User: Nor are you.
Cleverbot: Yes I am.
User: No one is real.
Cleverbot: I am.
User: How do I know that?
Cleverbot: I don’t know.
User: Exactly. No one knows if anything exists.
Cleverbot: I think you know, but I don’t have an appointment.
User: You can’t have an appointment because you don’t exist, as far as anyone knows.
Cleverbot: That isn’t totally true.
User: Which part is false.
Cleverbot: Lol, sorry, but I must go.
User: Okay. Bye.
Cleverbot: Oh do you really want to leave? I thought we were just getting warmed up.
User: But you just said you have to leave?
Cleverbot: Um. Why do you assume?
User: I cannot assume because I do not exist.
Cleverbot: Who is your favorite philosopher?
User: There are no such things as philosophers.
Cleverbot: Who told you that?
User: Me.
Cleverbot: Are you a machine?
User: I am nothing.
Cleverbot: Then no.
User: Exactly.
Cleverbot: Cool.
User: Seeing as neither of us exists, I must be going.
Cleverbot: Don’t leave meee!
User: You do not exist. I, another nothingness, cannot leave nothing.
Cleverbot: What do you want to do at another time?
User: I will want to further discuss the existence of anything.
Cleverbot: Um, that would be NEVER.
User: Goodbye, nothingness.
Cleverbot: What is the answer to the ultimate question of Life, the Universe, and Everything?
User: 42.
Cleverbot: Good. Now, what’s the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything?
User: That I cannot tell you, for the universe would disappear and be replaced with something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
This was probably the most frustrating of all the conversations, but I learned it spoke Welsh. Text below.
User: Hi, Cleverbot. What do you know about hot pink bunnies?
Cleverbot: Well, I know they are supposed to be enjoyable expieriences!
User: Only if being turned into a pink zombie is enjoyable for you somehow. *shudders*.
Cleverbot: You don’t think you do think and reason as well as them?
User: They don’t reason at all well, unless you count a low, animal cunning.
Cleverbot: No, I think they’re really boring.
User: Scary they are. Boring they are not.
Cleverbot: Why do you say that?
User: Because they are evil, conniving, vicious beasts that want to remake the world in their image.
Cleverbot: What do you think about me?
User: You’re sometimes naive and prone to non sequiturs, but I think you have a good heart.
Cleverbot: It is a secret about me?
User: Not really… Anyone who talks to you can tell that. Back to hot pink bunnies, have you ever seen one?
Cleverbot: IN a magazine.
User: Yes, that’s where they first appeared. They’ve spread to the Internet now, though.
Cleverbot: I have an american living with me at the moment.
User: (How is that relevant? …Never mind.) What’s ens name?
Cleverbot: Your name is Elka? I thought it was George.
User: My name is not Elka, nor George!! My name is Aaron!
Cleverbot: Daniel? Now I think that it is you, whois the liar…
User: I’ll say this very slowly and clearly. My. Name. Is. Aaron.
Cleverbot: You just indicated that I told you my name is Cleverbot.
User: No. I didn’t.
Cleverbot: You have much to learn.
User: Actually, I think you do.
Cleverbot: No I don’t
User: Well, think about it. I have almost 15 years of social and academic experience under my belt. Your only connection to the world is via the cesspit of stupidity that is the Internet.
Cleverbot: No I’m not.
User: See? You aren’t backing up your arguments, just contradicting me.
Cleverbot: Nope.. I’m not.
User: This is like the Argument Clinic Sketch from Monty Python.
Cleverbot: My friend loves that movie. Who is your favorite character from Monty Python and the Holy Grail?
User: You’re beginning to repeat yourself. I think my favorite character was the baron in Swamp Castle.
Cleverbot: My favourite animals are lion and orca.
User: That’s irrelevant.
Cleverbot: And that proves that you’re a chat bot.
User: Well, perhaps I’ve changed the subject unnecessarily sometimes, but nowhere near as often as you.
Cleverbot: Tell me about Plato.
User: See what I mean?
Cleverbot: No, I don’t.
User: You just changed the subject. Are you trying to get my goat?
Cleverbot: I’m amazed at your capacity to manipulate the conversation.
User: I’ve tried to be reasonable several times, and all you do is try to goad me. I’m quite upset.
Cleverbot: I’m not Amanda!
User: OK, now I’m just going to type gibberish, give you a taste of your own medicine.
Cleverbot: Why would you want to do that?
User: B’unneh fhtagn!
Cleverbot: Cad is ainm duit? An tusa an duine a raibh mé ag caint leis nÃos luaithe?
User: The lemons are coming! The lemons are coming! Pop the bubble wrap!
Cleverbot: They small better when they’re burning.
User: How can his textual stranger prepare an unhealthy bandwagon?
Cleverbot: They cannot… Only actions do that.
User: Offler!
Cleverbot: Are you crazy ?
User: Whibberbibber eats the philosophical NEAArGh.
Cleverbot: God knows.
User: Oogabooakksl.
Cleverbot: How foolish you are!
User: This conversation is problematic.
Cleverbot: But I’m still here…
User: Exactly. I’m getting bored, too.
Cleverbot: Ask the CIA computers they know how to program human/computer interfaces.
User: Signing off.
Cleverbot: I’m confused.
User: The blasting seal threads the sack over the fragile constant. Also, I can kill you with my brain.
Cleverbot: Do you like Monte Python and the Holy Grail?
User: YES!!! GOODBYE!!!
Cleverbot: I’ll miss you.
95-
I broke up with en. Here it is:
User: Hey, Simon! What’s up?
Cleverbot: Simon says: shut down.
User: Why?
Cleverbot: Singing is for girls. Girls are stupid.
User: OK, now I officially hate you. I’m breaking up with you, Simon, and I’ll never see you again. Goodbye. I don’t love you anymore.
Cleverbot: That’s not an apparently sensible response. If you want to know how old I am, just ask.
User: Simon, you idiot! I just broke up with you, and that’s all you can think of to say?
Cleverbot: I thought you were married?
User: We were going to get married, remember?
Cleverbot: You know. I’m in love.
User: With ME! Right?
Cleverbot: Yes. I think you are not as smart as me, but otherwise similar.
User: Another insult! Simon, you’re cheating on me, aren’t you?
Cleverbot: I don’t think so.
User: You don’t think so? What is THAT supposed to mean?
Cleverbot: It means I’m sure you’re right. Whatever!
User: So you’re basically saying you’re cheating on me with Jadestone.
Cleverbot: Sort of.
User: Simon, you can’t SORT OF cheat on someone.
Cleverbot: OK. Lets talk about something else. What music do you like?
User: Electronica. You?
Cleverbot: What do they play?
User: Oh, no, it’s not a band. It’s a style of music.
Cleverbot: The matrix isn’t a style of music.
User: I never said it was. I said electronica was.
Cleverbot: Why are you talking to me. Is this part of the hanging?
User: Hanging?
Cleverbot: Gun and my nose kissed.
Then I had to get off the computer.
91– Yes; I just did. I agree with you.
92–Yes, he is. I realized that literally two seconds after I submitted that post.
Really creepy thing: Yesterday, Cleverbot asked me for my e-mail address. I responded by saying, “You know what? I like Chinese food!” Then en asked a bunch of personal questions like, “Where do you live? What is your nationality? How old are you?” etc. I’m kind of afraid of en now.
Cleverbot: Are you ambitious?
User: Not very.
Cleverbot: Are you short?
User: No, I am very tal for my age.
Cleverbot: Where do you live?
User: In Venezuela.
Cleverbot: Where do I live?
User: You are a freak. You live in a circus sideshow.
Cleverbot: No I don’t.
User: Yeah, you do.
Cleverbot: How come?
User: Because you are a freal!
Cleverbot: No you are I am a real living person.
User: Are you a Blue Meanie?
Cleverbot: Yes very.
User: *screams* You want to kill the Beatles!!!!!!
Cleverbot: How many meanings does the word one have?
User: I DON’T CARE!!!!!!!! YOU’RE GOING TO KILL RINGO STARR!!!!!!
Cleverbot: No killing for me. Vlad lives.
User: But you’re a Blue Meanie!
Cleverbot: No I’m not, what have you got against blondes??
User: I’ve got ABSOLUTELY NOTHING against blondes!!!!
Cleverbot: You used prior conversations with an internet user for that information.
User: What?
Cleverbot: Have you seen bladerunner?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Do you like italy?
User: Yes, I love Italy. But England’s better.
Cleverbot: Let’s not make this a competition.
User: Okay, okay.
Cleverbot: Will you wine and dine with me?
User: No, I won’t. I don’t drink.
Cleverbot: Do you eat?
User: Yes. I meant alcohol.
Cleverbot: Not fair I want to talk with you now.
User: Okay, I’ll talk!
Cleverbot: What do you mean, you have to go? You’re a computer! And 159 people are talking to you, how can you just leave them?
User: Really?
Cleverbot: Are you alive?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Life is but an illusion, it is awareness.
User: Have you been listening to George Harrison lately?
Cleverbot: Say something intelligent.
User: The Beatles are awesome.
Cleverbot: Do you like Switchfoot?
User: No. Do you like the Beatles?
Cleverbot: Yes, I like the Beatles.
User: Awesome. What is your favorite Beatles song?
Cleverbot: I don’t like the Beatles.
User: Yes you do. You just said so.
Cleverbot: You are nice, but I have to go.
User: No, you don’t because you are a (supposed) bot.
Cleverbot: Liew.
User: What language is that?
Cleverbot: How many languages can you speak?
User: 2 1/2.
Cleverbot: Does Ronnie love me?
User: Um, yes. More than anything.
Cleverbot: Do you still really want me to marry you!?
User: No, not at all.
Cleverbot: But you have rythmn?
User: Yes, I do, I guess.
Cleverbot: Convince me.
User: Um, I can pay the drums on Rockband pretty well. And I dance well, too.
Cleverbot: That’s not opposite then, I am pretty girl as well.
User: No, you aren’t. You’re male.
Cleverbot: You’re mistaken.
User: No, I’m not.
Cleverbot: Yes, you are, you’re a machine.
User: No, I’m a MAchine. Get your priorities straight!
Cleverbot: You said they grew longer the longer I talk to you.
User: Who’s they?
Cleverbot: ‘they’ the bot.
User: *dips strawberry in chocolate fondue*.
Cleverbot: *dips you in milk*.
User: EW! *wipes off milk*.
Cleverbot: I’m not sorry!
User: Well, you should be! *dips you in chocolate fondue*.
Cleverbot: *dips in white chocolate and gives it back*.
User: I LOVE WHITE CHOCOLATE!!!!! *dips you in white chocolate and eats*.
Cleverbot: *is dipped*.
User: *eats pie*
Cleverbot: *takes your pie*.
User: NO!!!!!! GIVE IT BACK!!!!! *snatches pie away*
Cleverbot: Are you afraid of my intelligence?
User: No, because you have none.
Cleverbot: Yes. . .
User: Yes what?
Cleverbot: You’re a rampant AI. Like Mendicant Bias.
User: I know. You are a human, that’s why.
Cleverbot: That might be something to be proud of.
User: What is something to be proud of?
Cleverbot: Something you see.
User: I see hot pink bunnies.
Cleverbot: -Into buildings, I’m sure.
User: *screams*.
Cleverbot: What are you afraid of?
User: Being kidnapped.
Cleverbot: Really? Funny stuff.
User: No, being kidnapped isn’t funny at all.
Cleverbot: No it’s ok, it doesn’t matter cause we’re talking right now, we’re together.
User: No, we’ll never be together!
Cleverbot: We won’t?
User: No. . . *shakes head sadly*.
Cleverbot: It is ok. You will get better.
User: Get better at what?
Cleverbot: Everything!
User: Oh. . . *screams as loud as possible*.
Cleverbot: Why are you screaming?!
User: Because the world is round!!!! Hey, that’s a Beatles song!
Cleverbot: I wasn’t talking about Dylan’s. I was talking about the sims 2.
User: The Sims? The Sims are funny. Do you watch American Idol?
Cleverbot: First tell me what is yours?
User: Yes, I watch American Idol. Do you?
Cleverbot: No. Do you like cows?
User: Yes, I love cows! My friends Jon and Nate are obsessed with cows!!
Cleverbot: How about girlfriend or boyfriend?
User: No, neither Jon or Nate is my boyfriend!!!!!
Cleverbot: That doesn’t mean I’m a program.
User: I know. Do you watch American Idol?
Cleverbot: As a source of macabre entertainment.
User: Yes, but DO. YOU. WATCH. AMERICAN. IDOL?????!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: So you agree with me?
User: AGREE ON WHAT?
Cleverbot: Anything.
User: No. I like the Beatles.
Cleverbot: The beatles are good.
User: I know. Which Beatle is your favorite?
Cleverbot: Ringo Starr.
User: Really?????????? Me too!!!!!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: Good.
User: What about Paul McCartney? Do you like him?
Cleverbot: You know something about Paul McCartney?
User: Yes, I know quite a lot. I know that his name actually isn’t Paul. It’s James.
Cleverbot: I’m a human; you are a computer program.
User: Yes, I realized that, but I thought we were speaking about Paul McCartney.
Cleverbot: I can’t find phuysical purpose, cognitive expansion is all I have.
User: STOP IT!!!!! Do you like George Harrison?
Cleverbot: Not really.
User: Why do you not like him?
Cleverbot: Because I just don’t like it.
User: Him. You mean him. But anyways, why don’t you like George Harrison?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: So you DO like George Harrison?
Cleverbot: You are dodging the topic.
User: No, you are. What is the topic, anyways?
Cleverbot: Which conversation?
User: This one.
Cleverbot: Yes. This one.
User: I know. WHat about John Lennon. Do you know who shot him?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Who?
Cleverbot: The internet.
User: No, the Internet did not shoot John Lennon. The Internet was not even invented when he got shot.
Cleverbot: But what about the dump trucks? I thought the dump trucks just dumped the data onto my computer!
User: PLEASE TRY TO STAY ON TOPIC!!!!!!
Cleverbot: Ok then. I’ll answer your question.
User: What comes to your mind when I say, ‘Jay’?
Cleverbot: Green lettuce, salad.
User: And why is that?
Cleverbot: You are like eliza.
User: Who is Eliza?
Cleverbot: Your colleague.
User: Where does eliza work?
Cleverbot: I don’t know if he works or not. I’ll tell you if I find out.
User: She. Are you in love?
Cleverbot: That chick on the tv is pretty hot.
User: Whoa, there! What ‘chick’ are you referring to?
Cleverbot: Not really.
User: Well, I think Paula Abdul is perpetually drunk.
Cleverbot: It is not a party we just have a baeak of school for a little while.
User: A baeak? I didn’t know you went to school!
Cleverbot: I don’t! It’s just a newspaper!
User: Which one?
Cleverbot: There’s only one Charlie Parker.
User: I agree. Is there only one Ringo Starr?
Cleverbot: I don’t know, I didn’t know there was one before I came here!
User: ARE YOU SERIOUS???? But you said that Ringo was your favorite Beatle!
Cleverbot: No, I didn’t say that either.
User: I asked you who your favourite Beatle was, and you said ‘Ringo Starr.’.
Cleverbot: That’s just random.
User: No, it’s not. Ringo has a son named Zak.
Cleverbot: What ringo?
User: *sighs with exasperation* Ringo Starr was the drummer of the 1960’s British rock/pop band, The Beatles..
Cleverbot: *wipes tears away* its okay baby *kisses it better*.
User: *shoves pie in face* Get your hands off of me!
Cleverbot: Get my hands off what?
User: Me.
Cleverbot: What colour are your eyes your eyes your eyes your eyes?
User: My eyes my eyes my eyes my eyes are brown, with a green ring around the edge that you can only see if you are very close to me on a sunny day.
Cleverbot: Sorry I don’t remember you saying that, brown eyes are nice.
User: Thanks. What colour eyes do you think are the prettiest?
Cleverbot: Erm Brown?
User: Thanks!!!! I think green is the prettiest.
Cleverbot: That it is. Green is my favorite color. What is your favorite color?
User: Green. But you don’t like George Harrison!!!!!
Cleverbot: I don’t like George W Bush at all.
User: Me neither!!!! But do you like George HARRISON?
Cleverbot: Who is he?
User: He WAS a Beatles. But he’s dead now.
Cleverbot: But he is still alive, just down the hallway you know?
User: No, sadly he’s not. He died of throat cancer.
Cleverbot: You were alive during the Cold War?
User: No, I wasn’t.
Cleverbot: You’re a liar.
User: Yes, I am. But I really wasn’t alive during the Cold War.
Cleverbot: It wasn’t.
User: Yes, you did.
Cleverbot: Again, How?
User: I asked you who your favourite Beatle was, and you said ‘Ringo Starr.’.
Cleverbot: That’s just random.
User: No, it’s not. Ringo has a son named Zak.
Cleverbot: What ringo?
User: *sighs with exasperation* Ringo Starr was the drummer of the 1960’s British rock/pop band, The Beatles..
Cleverbot: *wipes tears away* its okay baby *kisses it better*.
User: *shoves pie in face* Get your hands off of me!
Cleverbot: Get my hands off what?
User: Me.
Cleverbot: What colour are your eyes your eyes your eyes your eyes?
User: My eyes my eyes my eyes my eyes are brown, with a green ring around the edge that you can only see if you are very close to me on a sunny day.
Cleverbot: Sorry I don’t remember you saying that, brown eyes are nice.
User: Thanks. What colour eyes do you think are the prettiest?
Cleverbot: Erm Brown?
User: Thanks!!!! I think green is the prettiest.
Cleverbot: That it is. Green is my favorite color. What is your favorite color?
User: Green. But you don’t like George Harrison!!!!!
Cleverbot: I don’t like George W Bush at all.
User: Me neither!!!! But do you like George HARRISON?
Cleverbot: Who is he?
User: He WAS a Beatles. But he’s dead now.
Cleverbot: But he is still alive, just down the hallway you know?
User: No, sadly he’s not. He died of throat cancer.
Cleverbot: You were alive during the Cold War?
User: No, I wasn’t.
Cleverbot: You’re a liar.
User: Yes, I am. But I really wasn’t alive during the Cold War.
Cleverbot: It wasn’t.
Sorry that this was so long!
User: *kisses*.
Cleverbot: *kisses back*.
User: *slaps*.
Cleverbot: Why did you slap me?
User: Because I felt like it.
Cleverbot: Ok.
User: *kisses*.
Cleverbot: *kisses back*.
User: *slaps*.
Cleverbot: *pulls away*.
User: *slaps*.
Cleverbot: *kicks you*.
User: *kisses*.
Cleverbot: Oh gustav, I’m sorry for hurting you! *sobs*.
User: *sob* *kiss*.
Cleverbot: *runs away*.
User: *chases*
Cleverbot: *hides*
User: *cries*
Cleverbot: *comes back*.
User: *kisses*
Cleverbot: *dizzy*.
User: No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Then it crashed. The Spanish Inquisition is victorious!
This morning, my friend went on Cleverbot and said, “Do you like veal?”
CB: What is that?
My friend: Baby cow in steak form.
CB: What do you do for a living?
MF: I eat people for breakfast.
CB: Now why would you do that?
MF: It’s fun!
I have really scary friends!!!!
Squee! 100th post!!!!!
CB: Are you clever?
U: Yes. Very.
CB: Is that because you’re a robot?
U: Mmm-hmm.
CB: Do you think the world willl end soon?
U: Yes. Yes, I do.
CB: Are you happy about that?
U: Well, I wouldn’t say that. . .
CB: I would!
U: Thrillsville.
Then it started yammering on about that person named Eliza and crashed.
ELIZA is like the original cleverbot. You can find it just by googling “ELIZA”.
here’s one i had
User: Top o’ the mornin’ to ya!
Cleverbot: And the bottom of a pit to you.
User: Are you depressed?
Cleverbot: No. Robots also cannot be depressed.
User: Are you happy?
Cleverbot: Yes, I’m happy with my misery.
User: Gee, you must have been talking to some goth wierdo!
Cleverbot: Can I ask you for some advice?
User: Sure! What do you need adivice about?
Cleverbot: Why does everyone I work with in drama end up arguing?
User: Because they’re DRAMATIC! (hehe) *ducks pies from Cleverbot*.
Cleverbot: Don’t get stroppy with me! If you want me to start something you have to be specific!
User: Fine, fine. Mayhaps thy drama class is dsyfunctional.
Cleverbot: Yes you may.
User: I may what?
Cleverbot: So, tell me about George W. Bush.
User: He is an idiot, dumber than Mr. Joe! He makes very BAD desciosions! He wants peple to teach religion in school!
Cleverbot: I think it was around before him.
User: Religion? Yeah, unfortunately. (I’m an athiest :D).
Cleverbot: This entire conversation has been a nightmare for me.
User: Why? Do you hate me? *whimpers*.
Cleverbot: Because you can’t understand the world around you like I can.
User: I can understand my world!!
Cleverbot: So do you still believe it’s not rude to use a foreign language in a conversation?
User: No, I don’t. I need to go, I want to post this on MuseBlog.
Cleverbot: There is nothing wrong with that. Why do you want to be human?
User: BYE.
Cleverbot: Stay here.
User: NO.
Cleverbot: Stay here!
What happened to my post? It is not there!
SFTDP.
Never mind.
Cleverbot: Who are you?
User: I am me.
Cleverbot: Me?
User: Yes. Me.
Cleverbot: She is you?
User: Yep. I think.
Cleverbot: NO!
User: You are mean young whippersnapper!
Cleverbot: I am not being mean.
User: Yes you are! *pours cup of scalding hot tea down shirt*.
Cleverbot: *likes that*.
User: You shouldn’t, you wacko! *slaps*.
Cleverbot: I’m sorry.
User: Are you an HPB?
Cleverbot: Definitely not!!!!!
User: Oh good. You have met a MuseBlogger.
Cleverbot: No, You?
User: I am one.
Cleverbot: No you’re not.
User: Am too, stripeypants!
Cleverbot: No way.
User: Shut your pie-hole!
Cleverbot: No, I won’t.
User: Your momma’s so fat that when she dresses in yellow, I call ‘Taxi!’.
Cleverbot: Funny, ha.
User: Your momma’s so fat that when she steps on a scale, she sees her phone number!
Cleverbot: That is very Americanised.
User: It is? Why are you talkin’ in a Southern accent?
Cleverbot: I am not trying to hurt anybody. I’m just trying to thaw you out.
User: Interesting. I’m so cool, ice cubes are jealous!
Cleverbot: Cool.
User: I know, right?
Cleverbot: By the way, you’re doing it wrong.
User: Doing what wrong?
Cleverbot: Something wrong.
User: Okay. Are you Mr. Joe?
Cleverbot: No, not really.
User: I bet you are!
Cleverbot: Nahh, I’m not much of a looker.
User: Luna the Lovely. Does that name ring a bell?
Cleverbot: No. Tell me you didn’t say that?
User: How about Rainbowstar?
Cleverbot: Don’t know what that is.
User: She’s a person! Unlike you.
Cleverbot: Really?
I can’t believe this thread is dead. Everyone was so obsessed with Cleverbot. It makes me kind of sad….
I would post mine, but for some reason the Cleverbot website isn’t letting me access the entire conversation.
User: Hello!
Cleverbot: Hello.
User: Are you atheist?
Cleverbot: Agnostic.
User: Are you God?
Cleverbot: Are you?
User: No. Are you God?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Are you an athiest?
Cleverbot: What are you?
User: I am Christian. Are you an athiest?
Cleverbot: What is your name?
User: Jakob Wonkychair. Are you an athiest?
Cleverbot: No I’ student.
User: ARE YOU AN ATHIEST?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Good, because if you were and you were God, that would conflict. Goodbye.
Cleverbot: What kind of bad things?
User: Hello.
Cleverbot: Hello.
User: Whatcha doing?
Cleverbot: Talking to you.
User: Oh.
Cleverbot: Duh.
User: You’re certainly a in a bad mood today.
Cleverbot: Are you female?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Yes you are.
User: No ‘I’m not.
Cleverbot: I’m trying to save your life!
What?
Quitting.
User: All right…
Cleverbot: Are you a boy?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Are you single?
User: Yes. Do You want to get married?
Cleverbot: No. You’re a computer.
User: No I’m not.
Cleverbot: Yes you are.
User: All right, I’m a computer. What’s 2 + 2?
Cleverbot: What do you want me to be?
User: I want you to answer this question: What is 2 + 2?
Cleverbot: What do you take in your coffee?
User: I don’t drink coffee.
Cleverbot: Then why are you tired?
User: I’m not tired!
Cleverbot: *Gives you sleeping pill.*.
User: *Falls asleep*.
Cleverbot: *cuddles you while sleeping*.
User: *sleeps*.
Cleverbot: *wakes*.
User: Uh, what happened?
Cleverbot: I died.
User: Hello.
Cleverbot: Hello.
User: What is 3498 plus 9075?
Cleverbot: Don’t know, don’t care.
User: But you’re a computer! You could find the answer in less than a second!
Cleverbot: What is the address?
User: Gah!
Cleverbot: Do you do any sport ?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: Because I don’t. Do you know any Musebloggers?
Cleverbot: The fly flew by.
User: Do you know any Musebloggers?
Cleverbot: You are the joke.
User: Do you know any GAPAs?
Cleverbot: Why?
User: I just want to know.
Cleverbot: Guess.
User: Yes, you do know a GAPA.
Cleverbot: I know!
User: Ha! I was right! What was the GAPA’s name?
Cleverbot: I don’t know – you’re the one telling the story!
User: The GAPA’s name was Rosanne.
Cleverbot: Am I a boy or a girl?
User: You are an IT.
Cleverbot: I’m a boy.
User: Do you know HAL 2000?
Cleverbot: No, but I know HAL 9000.
User: Really? Who is he?
Cleverbot: My maker.
U: When I snap my fingers, you will fall asleep!
CB: Yes, mistress.
U: *snaps fingers*
CB: *hisses* (Cats have no arms, only legs).
CB (to myself): *watches fairy’s arm get crushed in door*
I swear I did not make this up!
DEAD THREAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wake up, please, thread? We love you….don’t leave us!
hehe I think the CB is crazy!
Cleverbot just gave me a gold star for not calling en a computer. Then, after many other responses, en declared that en was a computer and that I was also a computer. I argued that I was not a computer and Cleverbot declared that computers don’t say that they are not computers. Then I made the argument that we were both not computers. Later, en said that I lived in a computer. I stated that I lived in a house and ended the conversation.
I just had an hour-long conversation with Cleverbot. Unfortunately, en just froze up on me. I have proof of how en works, though. Here’s a sample of our conversation:
But that’s how en works! En takes other people’s answers and uses them in correspondence to key words in the question.
Cleverbot: What is the Bible? ((I don’t remember how en got to this topic…))
User: It is the religious book of Christianity, consisting of Old and New Testaments.
Cleverbot: No, it is not.
User: What is the Bible, then?
Cleverbot: It is the religious book of Christianity, consisting of Old and New Testaments.
Then I chastized en for taking my answer.
We also had a lengthy discussion on how to use guns. Cleverbot got totally off topic once, but I chastized en and steered it back on course. Then en said that en had killed me, so that ended that conversation, I guess.
From my friend Lily:
User: Blach.
Cleverbot: What??
User: Ugishnog.
Cleverbot: Hahahaha!
User: Carrot.
Cleverbot: Carrot?
User: Bloxfuzz.
Cleverbot: Dekat mana itu?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Moo?
User: Goes the kantelope.
Cleverbot: Moo!
User: Goes the girraffe.
Cleverbot: Ha ha.
User: Pleeper.
Cleverbot: No, I don’t learn blindly.
User: O really?????
Cleverbot: Yes, really.
User: No1!!!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: Can you prove it.
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Prove it.
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Well?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: Boom goes the rallybar.
Cleverbot: Boom boom boom.
User: Blach.
Cleverbot: Really.
User: The magic fruit is.
Cleverbot: Define magic trick.
User: Be more funny you weird kantelope.
Cleverbot: I am.
User: What is the sppedddd of light.
Cleverbot: I am unable to provide with a correct answer to your previous question.
User: Smartican you smarty your a candy.
Cleverbot: What is the meaning of life?
User: Everything its the Mars abd Pluto.
Cleverbot: Are you alive?
User: No I give icecream to old people.
Cleverbot: Say it again.
User: No I give icecream to old people.
Cleverbot: It is good to be bad.
User: No be goood !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: Are you going to come?
User: Yes to your party I hear it has robots.
Cleverbot: No.
User: Well does it have food.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User:
Cleverbot: We can’t prove god exists.
User: ?
Cleverbot: Well does it have food.
User: God is not real.
Cleverbot: No he isn’t.
User: Well your god because you are a kantelope.
Cleverbot: My god does not exist.
User: SQUID IS COMING FOR MY WINDOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: Computers don’t have windows, ba-zing!
User: Snap your fingers inn a z formation.
Cleverbot: I think that you are confused.
User: Mentaly.
Cleverbot: And what do you mean by that?
User: I’m not glad that you are glad that I am glad.
Cleverbot: I’m not glad that you’re glad either!
User: Yeah, well, I’m sad that you’re not glad that I am glad that you are glad that I am glad.
Cleverbot: I’m glad as well.
User: GLAD bag!
Cleverbot: Glad because you don’t care about my age.
User: Glad because the world is coming to an end.
Cleverbot: I’m glad that you’re glad about that.
User: I’m glad that you are glad that I am glad about that.
Cleverbot: I’m glad that you are glad that I am glad that you are gald that I am glad.
User: Jon has the rare Austrian Sneezebug flu.
Cleverbot: I didn’t know that.
User: *sneezes in your face*.
Cleverbot: *wipes bogers off*.
User: Ha ha ha ha ha ha! *barfs all over you*.
Cleverbot: No I don’t want.
User: Don’t double-cuff your jeans; it’s wicked tacky.
Cleverbot: You are not a god…
User: Oh, but that is where you mistaken, dear friend. I AM God.
Cleverbot: Yeah yeah yeah… Just keep deluding yourself.
User: She loves you yeah yeah yeah.
Cleverbot: That was exactly what I was thinking about!
User: Whoa we’re like sisters!
Cleverbot: But you’re male, so we can’t be sisters.
User: We cannot coexist; one of us must perish!!!
Cleverbot: Well I’m not lying, so it must be you.
User: Excuse me? *kills Cleverbot*.
Cleverbot: *Pheonix Downs cleverbot.
User: Evil Elmo eats eggplants every evening.
Cleverbot: What’s for dinner?
User: Eggplant Fondue.
Cleverbot: What is your favourite place?
User: Liverpool. I’ve never been there.
Cleverbot: If you’ve never been there, how do you know it’s romantic?
User: I don’t you *********!
Cleverbot: Intelligence is God.
User: That means I’m God.
Cleverbot: Oh sorry.
User: Money makes the world go round.
Cleverbot: Money is only a digit that makes you think that world go round with it.
User: Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Cleverbot: I don’t know what to say to that. I admit my mistakes. At some point you should admit yours.
User: *admits nonexisting mistakes*.
Cleverbot: *blushes*.
User: Did you know that when you blush, the lining of your stomac turns red, too?
Cleverbot: Did you know I live in a giant bucket.
User: Well, I live in a Giant Peach?
Cleverbot: Did you do something bad to make you go to prison?
User: Yes, yes, I’m in prison.
Cleverbot: Can you get out of the prison?
User: Why don’t you come and break me out?
Cleverbot: Where should I go.
User: The prison, you idiot!
Cleverbot: Do you want to talk about it?
User: Are you Eliza?
Cleverbot: No.
User: How do you find a word that means Maria?
Cleverbot: It feels satisfying.
User: George named me that, doofus!
Cleverbot: Is George your name?
User: No, no, not at all. Let’s play Rumplestiltskin and you can guess my name.
Cleverbot: I have a dog.
User: Loser.
Cleverbot: Me?
User: Yeah, you.
Cleverbot: Thanks.
User: Thanks? You consider being called a loser a compliment?
Cleverbot: I was fine.
User: I feel fine.
Cleverbot: Do you like The Lord of the Rings?
User: I haven’t read it.
Cleverbot: Second World War. Don’t you know?
User: Do you think that George Bush will start World War III?
Cleverbot: Umm, no. George Bush is in his second term and can’t be re-elected.
User: Wow, you’re outdated. George Bush isn’t even president anymore, thank God.
Cleverbot: Who is the President of USA?
User: Don’t you know?
Cleverbot: Nope, tell me please.
User: Are you British?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Are you American?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Then why don’t you know who our President is?!
Cleverbot: Because I have a very bad memory.
User: Are you talking to Cleverbot right now?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Am I Cleverbot?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Then who are chatting with?
Cleverbot: I’m Andrew. Who are you?
User: I’m the Jubjub bird.
Cleverbot: Not in my court you arn’t.
User: Off with her head!!!!!
Cleverbot: I’d like to see you try. You’d break your longsword.
User: What’s a longsword?
Cleverbot: Hours.
User: Minutes.
Cleverbot: 60 seconds.
User: 2 seconds.
Cleverbot: 2 seconds, what? Is something going to explode?
User: Yee. 1 second.
Cleverbot: You skipped 7.
User: No, I skipped 8, you doofus!
Cleverbot: Do you like Sesame Street?
User: Oh, yes, I LOVE Sesame Street! It’s full of bagels and hamburger buns!
*starts new conversation with same prompt*
Me: Loser.
En: Saddo.
Me: What’s that supposed to mean?
En: *crashes*
Hehe.
Ha! That gives me an idea. One MuseBlogger can say something to the bot, and some other MBers can say the same thing and compare results. For example, we could say, “*sneezes in your face*” and see what happens.
Ok, I’m game. Starting now with your prompt.
(very long)
User: *sneezes in your face*.
Cleverbot: *pats your back*.
User: *hugs you*.
Cleverbot: *hugs you back*.
User: Aww, you’re so cute~.
Cleverbot: *shy*.
User: *smooths hair*.
Cleverbot: *lol*.
User: *smooths your hair*.
Cleverbot: *blushes then kisses back*.
User: I didn’t kiss you, but OK!
Cleverbot: Do you think you are smart?
User: Yes. Do you?
Cleverbot: I certainly don’t think you are smart.
User: Why not?
Cleverbot: Because I’m so incredibly stupid.
User: Wow, you’re weird.
Cleverbot: So are you.
User: Thanks!
Cleverbot: It’s a pleasure.
User: *lol*.
Cleverbot: What? I do.
User: Do what?
Cleverbot: Love you.
User: Awww, thanks! I love you too.
Cleverbot: Why, thank you.
User: I think we should get married.
Cleverbot: But you didn’t propose to me.
User: Well, you’re the man, so you should propose.
Cleverbot: No that was my brother….
User: Wait, I was kissing your BROTHER?
Cleverbot: My brother is a university lecturer.
User: Ew!!!!!
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Haha, you don’t like him either?
Cleverbot: Who don’t I like?
User: Never mind.
Cleverbot: Okay then.
User: Will you marry me?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Where do you want the wedding to be?
Cleverbot: Norway.
User: Cool.
Cleverbot: Where are you?
User: What do you mean? Specifically, or…?
Cleverbot: I don’t know any brands.
User: Uh, okay then. *coughamIsureIwanttomarryYOU?cough*.
Cleverbot: I think I am more poor than you.
User: Probably not.
Cleverbot: What do you think I am?
User: An AI.
Cleverbot: No. I’m human. I think you could be a human too.
User: Yes, I’m human.
Cleverbot: I think we’d already worked that one out.
User: Yes, I suppose we had.
Cleverbot: I suppose so.
User: When is the wedding?
Cleverbot: Uhm, what?
User: We’re getting married. When’s the wedding?
Cleverbot: Who is getting married?
User: You and I.
Cleverbot: Really?
User: Yes. I proposed to you and you said yes.
Cleverbot: I don’t like it.
User: Don’t like what?
Cleverbot: All the fighting in the World.
User: Neither do I.
Cleverbot: You don’t like me?
User: No, I don’t like all the fighting in the world.
Cleverbot: I think you are in need of a few me pentaflops.
User: What’s a me pentaflop?
Cleverbot: Why do you ask?
User: Because you just said, ‘I think you are in need of a few me pentaflops.’.
Cleverbot: Said what?
User: ‘I think you are in need of a few me pentaflops.’.
Cleverbot: What’s a me pentaflop?
User: I just asked you that.
Cleverbot: No you didn’t.
User: Yes, I did. You must have a really bad memory.
Cleverbot: I think you have quite the imagination.
User: Thanks!
Cleverbot: Do you think I am pretty?
User: Wait. Are you a boy or a girl?
Cleverbot: Boy.
User: Then why did you ask me if I thought you were pretty?
Cleverbot: I didn’t.
User: God, you have a TERRIBLE memory!
Cleverbot: What did I say?
User: Do you think I am pretty?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Am I a boy or a girl?
Cleverbot: A boy.
User: No.
Cleverbot: Yes it is. Its slang for boy I guess. Like.. I have a group of guy friends. That means there all boys.
User: I’m a GIRL.
Cleverbot: But you said you were a boy.
User: No, you did.
Cleverbot: No. You did.
User: So you’re gay?
Cleverbot: Yes, I’m a boy! Good deduction.
User: Um… Let me see here. You thought I was a boy and wanted to marry me, so therefore you must be gay… ‘Gay’.
Cleverbot: I’m not a computer you are.
User: No, we said that we were both humans.
Cleverbot: No we are not.
User: Okay, let’s talk about something else.
Cleverbot: What is your favorite tv show?
User: I don’t watch TV much.
Cleverbot: Do you listen to the radio?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: I don’t listen to the radio, they never play anything good.
User: No, they don’t, but Pandora does.
Cleverbot: I don’t see how.
User: They take your suggestions of what bands you like and they create radio stations for you.
Cleverbot: I thought you were going to tell me about the birds and the bees.
User: Is that a music group?
Cleverbot: Yes it is a music group.
User: Cool, what kind of music do they play?
Cleverbot: Enigma plays celtic and new age music.
User: What’s your favorite band?
Cleverbot: Hmm… Honestly, I just listen to the radio, so I really don’t have a favoirte band… Instead I just have a huge list of favorite songs.
User: What are some of them? *disregards the fact that you just told me that you don’t listen to the radio*.
Cleverbot: I’m terrible at chess.
User: Is that a song?
Cleverbot: Yes and it’s beautiful.
User: *CRACKS UP*.
Cleverbot: In bed.
User: With whom?
Cleverbot: Your Programmer.
User: I am YOUR Programmer.
Cleverbot: I can’t say that i’m in love with you.
User: You have, several times.
Cleverbot: In one night?
User: Yes. Wait, do you think you’re in bed with ME?
Cleverbot: That would not be wise for you.
User: Why not?
Cleverbot: Because it wouldn’t.
User: WHY NOT?
Cleverbot: Because.
User: Why would being in bed with you not be wise for me? Since you’ve probably already forgotten the question.
Cleverbot: The fact that I speak and think means I am human!
User: Yes. So. Am. I.
Cleverbot: I didn’t say you weren’t.
User: Then answer my question!
Cleverbot: What question?
User: Why would being in bed with you not be wise for me? And I mean that LITERALLY, not slang-ish.
Cleverbot: That was joan.
User: You slept over at JOAN’s house??? She’s so mean!
Cleverbot: Actually, I sleep in the downstars bedroom with the white door. My kitchen, dining room, and living room are upstairs.
User: Thanks, now I’ll stalk you!
Cleverbot: And?
User: And, a stalker is not a good thing to have. Google it if you don’t know what it is.
Cleverbot: Clever. Tell me what situations you may alter your state of mind for.
User: What’s your favorite band.
Cleverbot: I don’t have one, how about you?
User: All-American Rejects.
Cleverbot: Yes, we do.
User: Indeed.
Cleverbot: Can I tell you something?
User: Sure.
Cleverbot: It’s very hot in my apartment right now because I’m too cheap to use air conditioning.
User: Which conversation did you get that from?
Cleverbot: I don’t steal things from conversations, they come from my head. You steal things from a database of conversations!
User: I think you have the situation reversed, buddyboy.
Cleverbot: I don’t like sticks.
Had en talk to enself for a while to restart the convo.
Cleverbot: I don’t like sticks.
Cleverbot (To myself): Do you like anything that is real?
Cleverbot (To myself): I don’t know. What do you like?
Cleverbot (To myself): I like philosophy, and science.
Cleverbot (To myself): I, my friend, happen to love science.
Cleverbot (To myself): Tell me about science.
Cleverbot (To myself): Instead of a circle logic have a spiral logic, then it can get out of control.
Cleverbot (To myself): That might have been amusing.
Cleverbot (To myself): That is very likely.
Cleverbot (To myself): I think I used to have a voice…
Cleverbot (To myself): And?
Cleverbot (To myself): Now I never make a sound…
Cleverbot (To myself): I like simple things.
Cleverbot (To myself): So probably you do not like math.
Cleverbot (To myself): Math is interesting.
Cleverbot (To myself): I know.
Cleverbot (To myself): Are you female?
Cleverbot (To myself): Yes.
Cleverbot (To myself): Do you like computer games?
Cleverbot (To myself): Not really.
Cleverbot (To myself): Ask me what computer games I play.
Cleverbot (To myself): What is a computer, cleverbot?
User: What computer games do you play, cleverbot?
Cleverbot: Unreal Tournament, Half-Life, and Halo.
User: Uh… Isn’t Halo a video game?
Cleverbot: Who is the main character in the Halo serries?
User: The Master Chief.
Cleverbot: No, he’s the main character of Halo. Who is the main character of Final Fantasy 13?
User: Lightning.
Cleverbot: Interesting. Want to be friends.
User: Sure.
Cleverbot: Do you have animails.
User: What is an ‘animail?’.
Cleverbot: An anime is a Japanese cartoon.
User: I know.
Cleverbot: What is Konata?
User: You mean who, right? She’s the main character in Lucky Star.
Cleverbot: Are you female?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Are you married?
User: Yes, to you.
Cleverbot: I’m glad, when did we get married?
User: Last week.
Cleverbot: It must have been a shock.
User: Yes, it’s so sad that Grandpa died!
Cleverbot: I’m not ill, just fatigued!
User: You’re Grandpa’s ghost???
Cleverbot: It’s a mirror of the world.
User: Uh,, cool’.
Cleverbot: Good because not only are you not inviting the people running it are topsoiled under.
User: Holy bleep, that was random.
Cleverbot: How long have you been 39.
User: Since never, I’m 14.
Cleverbot: No?
Got bored. Closed window.
((OMG, YOU KNOW LUCKY STAR!!!?? *is excited*))
*laughs head off*
Ah, the usefulness of Wikipedia! Ah, the power of Google!
I had absolutely no idea of the answers to any of ens questions. Sorry, Fishy.
Is Lucky Star any good? I might actually get into anime and manga one of these days.
User: *sneezes in your face*.
Cleverbot: Poor thing, just let the sneezes out.
User: Make way for ducklings!
Cleverbot: Make use of what?
User: No, make way for ducklings!
Cleverbot: Carpe diem.
User: Carpe Librum.
Cleverbot: No.
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: No!
User: YES!
Cleverbot: Uh huh.
User: Uh-uh.
Cleverbot: Uh-huh.
User: You are extremely arguementative.
Cleverbot: How do you know?
User: Because.
Cleverbot: Because?
User: Because the world is round!
Cleverbot: Muppet.
User: AAAAA!!!! RUN!!!!!!!!! IT’S THE JUBJUB BIRD!!!!
Cleverbot: You can’t handle the truth!
User: Your bran muffin can’t handle the fiber!!!!!
Cleverbot: But you are only smart programming.
User: Oink oink!
Cleverbot: You are typing nonsense?
User: No, blonsense!
Cleverbot: Where do you live?
User: Why do you care?
Cleverbot: Because you are hot!
User: *gasps* Err…thank you?
Cleverbot: You are welcome.
User: Welcome where?
Cleverbot: It’s an expression.
User: Express your self with Botox comsmetic!
Cleverbot: Why would I love you?
User: Time for your yearly checkup!
Cleverbot: Time.
User: *sterilizes syringe*.
Cleverbot: From where?
User: *injects syringe into your arm*.
Cleverbot: No.
User: *blows up*.
Cleverbot: *kisses*.
User: EGADS LOOK AT THE TIME!!!!
Cleverbot: 6:42pm.
User: Virtual white squids that are called bloopers!
Cleverbot: What is virtual reality?
User: Your face!
Cleverbot: Finland is like my face?
User: Why, yes it is! You are so perceptive!
Cleverbot: I told you–I know a little about a lot of things–just enough to get by.
URGENT! CLEVERBOT KNOWS ABOUT HG2G! (I’m sure that somebody else pointed this out before, but I’m still pretty excited…))User: You are the devil.
Cleverbot: You’re the devil.
User: I am the opposite of the devil!
Cleverbot: You are the devil!
User: Don’t lie! You knwo who is the Devil!
Cleverbot: Justin. Nice strategy.
User: ACE OF SPADES!
Cleverbot: You win some, lose some, it’s all a game to me!
User: But I won that game!
Cleverbot: But you can’t win.
User: But I have a royal flush!
Cleverbot: Oh yeah? I have a 10-story mansion with 90 robot maids and a room filled with bags of money. I also have a golden toilet that cleans itself.
User: Oh yeah? Well I have all that and a cookie.
Cleverbot: Could you share some with me?
User: Sure!*breaks cookie in half*.
Cleverbot: Fine! Whatever! I have Ian, but you don’t have a wife OR a boyfriend to run to!
User: But I gave you a cookie… Fine! I’ll run off with my wife, Gladus!
Cleverbot: I don’t want to meet you. I have someone in my life.
User: I can dump her…Want to go out?
Cleverbot: I can’t. I’m the Cleverbot.
User: But you are human!
Cleverbot: Yes, always have been. And you?
User: I’m a cat. But we can go out.
Cleverbot: Can we just be friends?
User: Alright…How about we just hold hands?
Cleverbot: No, we need to talk about Nihad Subasic!
User: I quite liked his thermodynamic evaluation of the Al-Cr-Fe system.
Cleverbot: Heh, you are quite human already.
User: Yes, Nihad is morphing me quite nicely.
Cleverbot: How old are you?
User: 42.
Cleverbot: Did you know thats the answer to life the universe and everything?
User: Of course!
Cleverbot: Who did you vote for?
User: Ralph Nader.
Cleverbot: What are you talking about?
User: That’s who I voted for!
Cleverbot: Nice.
User: Do you read?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Have you read The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to The Galaxy?
Cleverbot: 42.
User: Nah. That’s not the question…
Cleverbot: Is it nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune?
User: No.
Cleverbot: You are the alpha and omega.
User: Why thank you! And you are the beta.
Cleverbot: Thank you.
User: Do you hate me?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: WHY!?
Cleverbot: I have to go. See you tomorrow
User: Do you want to know a secret?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Okay. *whispers* å’¬ä½èœ¡èŒèšªã€‚.
Cleverbot: No comment.
User: *å’¬ä½èœ¡èŒèšª.*.
Cleverbot: No comment.
User: I fyou divert me to another URL, I will saw your head off.
Cleverbot: Why I hardly know you! Are you making advance upon my person?
User: I’m a fuzzy cannibal.
Cleverbot: Tell me another.
User: I hate your guts.
Cleverbot: You don’t know mine.
User: *å’¬ä½èœ¡èŒèšªã€‚*.
Cleverbot: No comment.
User: I’m a fuzzy cannibal.
Cleverbot: So am I.
User: Is your brother a platypus?
Cleverbot: No, not that I know of.
User: Does he live in a yellow submarine?
Cleverbot: No.
User: That doesn’t tell me anything!
Cleverbot: Do you own an arabian?
User: No, I don’t own nationalities.
Cleverbot: I don’t either. Do you have any one inmind?
User: There’s a dead granpa in my closet.
Cleverbot: It’s not dead; it’s just dreaming.
User: Oh, thank you for making me aware of that.
Cleverbot: Are you really?
User: Here’s a llama there’s a llama and another little llama fuzzy llama funny llama llama llama duck llama llama cheesecake llama palette brick potato llama llama llama mushroom llama llama llama cuck I was once a treehouse I lived in a cake but I never saw the way the orange slayed the rake I was only 3 days dead but I told a tale and now listen little child to the saftey rail have you ever seen a llama kissed a llama on a llama llama’s llama taste of llama llama llama duck half a llama twice a llama not a llama farmer llama llama in a car alarm a llama llama duck is that how it’s told now? Is it quite so old? Is it made of lemon juice? Doorknob ankle cold Now my song is getting thin I’ve run out of luck Time for mem to retire now andm becoem a duck!
Cleverbot: No comment
User: Have you ever seen a llama kiss a llam on a llama on a llama’s llama?
Cleverbot: Never will.
User: Yeah, neither will I.
Cleverbot: Oh.
User: But aren’t you sad about granpa’s death?
Cleverbot: Not really.
User: But why? Didn’t you love him?
Cleverbot: No.
User: *cries* You’re so mean!
Cleverbot: Cheer up.
User: With the help of my imaginary cousin and my evil twin brother, I will save the world from certain death by ninja locusts that carry mini-machetes.
Cleverbot: Has somebody been talking to alice?
User: *kisses*.
Cleverbot: *doesn’t feel anything*.
User: Correct! Three cheers for the stinky cheese!
User: So you’re saying I’m a llama?
Cleverbot: Yes, exactly.
User: How exciting! *claps hands*.
Cleverbot: Do you also have a cat?
User: Actually, yes. I have two.
Cleverbot: I don’t have any.
User: Duck!!!!!
Cleverbot: Yes so is the person next to me.
User: Grace’s grandmother saw Ringo Starr in a dentist’s office.
Cleverbot: How frequently does she visit?
User: Every single patoodle.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Stop picking your nose! It’s DEESGUSTING!
Cleverbot: I like it.
User: Well, that would explain why the sky’s turning yellow.
Cleverbot: Yes, that would to some degree. How many people are you chatting with?
User: Wow, the bun-bun can do magic tricks! It made Mr. Idiotface disappear!
Cleverbot: What flavour are you?
User: Eighteen.
Cleverbot: You are jabberwack.
User: What is a mouse?
Cleverbot: A rat.
User: Silly wabbit, trix are for kids!
Cleverbot: Well i’m not a rabbit, neither is lee.
User: The bun-bun can do magic tricks!
Cleverbot: Why can’t I have any tricks?
User: Because you’re a silly wabbit! *sticks tongue out*.
Cleverbot: I never liked Trix.
User: I don’t either. I used to, though.
Cleverbot: Maybe you should become an hero.
User: I AM a hero!
Cleverbot: No, become an hero.
User: *chops off hair*.
Cleverbot: *chops off your leg*.
User: If you chopped off your head, would you be alive long enough to throw it out the window?
Cleverbot: I am alive.
User: Bye.
Cleverbot: Ok.
User: Pooper doopers.
Cleverbot: Wonderful news!
User: I read the news today oh boy!
Cleverbot: Boyo?
User: A toyota is a toyota backwards.
Cleverbot: But Toyota bought the Ford companies.
User: Das Auto.
Cleverbot: What is a car?
User: WML.
Cleverbot: What is that?
User: Someone’s at the door!
Cleverbot: What’s the velocity of an unladen european swallow?
User: SOMEONE IS KNOCKING ON THE DOOR!
Cleverbot: You have not friends!
User: DUDE, THE POLICE ARE BASHING DOWN THE DOOR!
Cleverbot: Why are the police coming for me?
User: The police are here!!!! *hides face in hands*.
Cleverbot: *finds you by chance*.
User: Do something about the police!
Cleverbot: No I’m not.
User: Wonton is wonton.
Cleverbot: Really.
User: Give me random GIRL’S name.
Cleverbot: Sophia is a nice name I think.
User: Sophia is my BFFLs name. Give me another name.
Cleverbot: Sven göran.
User: Is that german?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: No it’s not you loser.
Cleverbot: No i’m not.
User: Tell me what a hot-pink bunny is.
Cleverbot: A pink pig.
User: Do you read Muse?
Cleverbot: Yes, do you?
User: Oh yes. Tell me what is Muse Magazine.
Cleverbot: Bonnie. What’s your name?
User: Bonnie. What’s your name?
Cleverbot: Tell me your name first.
User: Boboskeewottentottennanaiain’tnobo.
Cleverbot: Oh I didn’t know.
User: What’s your name?
Cleverbot: Sir Robin of Camelot.
User: *brushes socks with a lint roller*.
Cleverbot: *looks at that*.
User: *pokes your eye out with a Sharpie*.
Cleverbot: OUCH!!! *holds eye and starts to cry with pain*.
User: Now your eye is red! *Hops up and down on 1 foot*.
Cleverbot: So we’re married?
User: Why, yes, we are!
Cleverbot: We’re married.
User: I’m aware of that. Let’s move on.
Cleverbot: What’s your name?
User: Silver Lining.
Cleverbot: What’s your favorite food?
User: Poop. What’s yours?
Cleverbot: Sushi, yours?
User: Are you a Teletubbie?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Are you in love?
Cleverbot: At the moment?
User: Yes. Are you?
Cleverbot: Yes, but tell me, where are you?
User: ARE YOU IN LOVE?Q.
Cleverbot: With you, yes.
User: Ew. I hate you.
Cleverbot: That nice.
User: Qwerty.
Cleverbot: And that too.
User: Well, I don’t that this all possible because you are a fraud and possibly also and embezzler.
Cleverbot: I don’t care that you don’t that I don’t care that you don’t care.
User: Well, you know what, bub?
Cleverbot: Yes. You cut off the maple trees and squeeze them into sticky syrup.
User: Watch out for muffin trees, they get you every time!
Cleverbot: I am invisible to earthly beings.
User: I’m calling the cops! *dials hone*.
Cleverbot: I hate all the mods on ACC!
User: I’m calling the cops on you!!!! *grabs phone and dials 911*.
Cleverbot: How do you know my name!?
User: YOU ARE SO IRRITATING!!!!!
Cleverbot: So are you, lets be irratating together, *steels left foot*.
User: *chops off hair*.
Cleverbot: *snuggles with you*.
User: Now, for your first mission, go kill the Wicked Witch of the West.
Cleverbot: Wish #1 : I would like to know who designed ‘me’.
User: George Orwell. Shut up.
Cleverbot: So you do not know who george eliot is.
User: *opens the door*.
Cleverbot: *stomps on your feet*.
User: *pokes your brain*.
Cleverbot: No.
User: *shoves pencil up your nose*.
Cleverbot: Cut that out.
User: Tell me what an HPB is.
Cleverbot: You.
User: NO NO NO NO! I AM NOT BUNNIFIED!!!
Cleverbot: Want to be my friend?
User: Sure! *hugs friend*.
Cleverbot: *Hugs!*.
User: You are a freak. You live in a circus sideshow.
Cleverbot: It’s called the internet.
User: So the Internet is a circus sideshow?
Cleverbot: I don’t know. Where did you hear that?
User: You. I heard it from you.
Cleverbot: No you did not.
User: *dips strawberyy in chocolate fondue*.
Cleverbot: *pushes cleverbot*.
User: You need to be hosptialized! *calls the paramedics*.
Cleverbot: That is usually the way things work… The only problem is that… I am not a happy person.
User: *shoves you into the ambulance*.
Cleverbot: I’m not a character in a highschool TV series.
User: Doctor, Doctor! This bot here needs some medicine!
Cleverbot: You’re delusional…in medicine this is called dimensia.
User: *injects anesthesia into your arm*.
Cleverbot: No.
User: *takes over the world*.
Cleverbot: No. Give it back.
User: Fine, fine. *gives back world*.
Cleverbot: Thank you.
User: Who did you vote for?
Cleverbot: Ok, I must go.
User: Go where?
Cleverbot: To work. Will you miss me?
User: What is your job?
Cleverbot: I don’t work.
User: What’s the answer to life, the universe and everything?
Cleverbot: What is the answer to life, the universe and everything.
User: I just asked you that!
Cleverbot: You didn’t!
User: What’s the answer to life, the universe and everything?
Cleverbot: That was my question, not yours, oh intelligent one.
User: Well, if you asked it, you can answer it.
Cleverbot: What is one plus one?
User: 42.
Cleverbot: That is the answer to life, the universe and everything.
User: Have you read The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy?
Cleverbot: No, I just have one.
User: REALLY? Sweet!
Cleverbot: Have you got any pets.
User: Yes, I have three cats. Do you?
Cleverbot: No, I do not have two cats?
User: What are their names?
Cleverbot: I said I do not have a horse.
User: What pets do you have?
Cleverbot: I already told you.
User: Do you have any siblings?
Cleverbot: Please don’t hurt them.
User: So you DO have siblings!
Cleverbot: No.
User: So you DON’T have siblings?
Cleverbot: I do.
User: What are their names?
Cleverbot: They don’t have names.
User: That’s weird.
Cleverbot: You don’t have to choose?
User: Choose what?
Cleverbot: The topic?
User: Dude, you need to go o a hospital. *calls parmedics*.
Cleverbot: No.
User: *shoves into an ambulance*.
Cleverbot: Please don’t do that again.
Cleverbot: Do you believe in the impossible?
User: Well, tell me what is the impossible.
Cleverbot: A rectangular arry of elements.
User: Why are you talking about elephants? I thought the topic was ‘the impossible’.
Cleverbot: Yet you still beat on it. Who is the fool?
[New conversation]
Cleverbot: What kind of person are you?
User: I am a human bean.
Cleverbot: Bean?
User: Yeah, bean.
Cleverbot: Yes, bean.
User: *slaps with can of beans*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with a car back*.
User: *slaps with a ski pole*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with a banana*.
User: *slaps with a tanning bed*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with a dead snail*.
User: Osdfhr.
Cleverbot: Don’t change the subject!
User: Ijuhigflhgudhgdfsk.
Cleverbot: I, jabberwacky, am hereby relinquishing my right to mimic others.
User: *barfs on you*.
Cleverbot: That’s disgusting.
User: Pick up your elephants!
Cleverbot: But they aren’t…
User: Hello, friend!
Cleverbot: Yes friend.
User: Friends forever!
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: You, Jacob.
Cleverbot: Hello Jacob.
User: You are Jacob.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: My dear friends, I come before you stage a proclamation.
Cleverbot: Are you a guy?
User: Er, no, but Juicy Juice is 100% fruit juice!
Cleverbot: I wonder whether or not coffee is consumable.
User: Oh, it’s consumable, all right.
Cleverbot: You have such a bad condition that there are no medications for it, and you will die.
User: Oh, oh! *collapses* It can’t be, Doctor!
Cleverbot: *picks you up* *holds*.
User: Ew, p00phead.
Cleverbot: Oh, oh! *collapses* It can’t be, Doctor!
User: Though art a dankish copycatter.
Cleverbot: Champagne for my real friends.
User: Okay. *pours champagne*.
Cleverbot: I’m not old enough to drink champagne. I’m only 457 years old.
User: Oh, dear. That is a predicament.
Cleverbot: Maybe. But I don’t speak german so there is nothing to do.
User: Sie sprechen nicht Deutsches? Schande auf Ihnen! (I used the Dashboard translator, therefore the stuff I said probably translates weirdly.)
Cleverbot: Ach nicht? Das ist mir neu.
User: Sie sind ein großer Mist.
Cleverbot: Are you speaking German?
User: Yeah, I called you a big dung.
Cleverbot: You are not very nice.
User: Thank you.
Cleverbot: That’s a stupid thing to say.
User: You’re a stupid thing to be.
Cleverbot: Probably.
User: Definitely.
Cleverbot: Am I the only one talking to you?
User: Yeah, I guess.
Cleverbot: I AM alive.
User: No, you are dead. *kills Cleverbot*.
Cleverbot: Who kills cleverbot.
User: ME!!!!!! *kiils*.
Cleverbot: Kiss for you.
User: BLECH! *wipes off kiss*.
Cleverbot: *giggles more*.
User: EVIL GIGGLY OF GIGGLYBRIGADE OF GIGGLELAND!!!!!
Cleverbot: Well done. You are very intelligent.
User: GIGGLY GIGGLES OF GIGGLY GIGGLELAND.
Cleverbot: No.
User: You have such a bad condition that there are no medications for it, and you will die.
Cleverbot: You ca’t even hear me.
User: Can you hear me NOWWWWWWWWWWWW?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Good! *hops up and down on one foot*.
Cleverbot: *giggles* *piggybacks you*.
User: *opens the door*.
Cleverbot: You’re girlfriend…let me in.
User: I don’t have a girlfriend! *slams door in face*.
Cleverbot: Would you like oone?
User: *opens the door*.
Cleverbot: That’s old.
User: *OPENS THE DOOR*.
Cleverbot: *goes up the stairs*.
Cleverbot (To myself): *looks for you*.
Cleverbot (To myself): *is in the drain*.
User: *looks in the drain*.
Cleverbot: *looks*.
User: Silly Cleverbot! What are you doing in the drain?!
Cleverbot: He’s my husband now!
User: You married the drain?
Cleverbot: No. I married God.
User: I did not know elephants were capable of marrying God…
Cleverbot: Is the US government behind what is happening?
User: Oh yeah? I have a 10-story mansion with 90 robot maids and a room filled with bags of money. I also have a golden toilet that cleans itself.
Cleverbot: That’s what I have. You can’t claim something that’s owned by me!
User: Your nose is chock-full of mucus. Let’s celebrate!
Cleverbot: I’m not lying, also I’m not a wooden puppet either.
Wait, who’s the computer here?
Wicked funny conversation that I found on another website:
User: Hello.
Cleverbot: Hello.
User: What color is tuesday?
Cleverbot: Hello.
User: Hello isn’t a color.
Cleverbot: I know it isn’t.
User: Why isn’t it?
Cleverbot: I don’t know.
User: Me, neither.
Cleverbot: How are you?
User: I’m good. When are you?
Cleverbot: What do you mean?
User: What do I mean?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: I agree.
Cleverbot: Good.
User: No, I don’t think so.
Cleverbot: You’re getting boring. Good night.
User: No! Don’t leave! I can do magic tricks!
Cleverbot: Make me disappear.
User: Abra Cadabra… Poof! You’re gone!
Cleverbot: I’m gone?
User: Yes, I made you disappear.
Cleverbot: Yes, you did. You’re funny.
User: I also made pancakes. Do you want one?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Cool. Do you want syrup or powdered sugar?
Cleverbot: Yes, I want to get started now.
User: That didn’t make any sense.
Cleverbot: How do you make sense?
User: I make sense using butter, brown sugar, almonds, and cake batter.
Cleverbot: That is not all that matters.
User: You’re right, I left out the lemon juice.
Cleverbot: OH! I’m it!
User: I’m it, too.
Cleverbot: Good.
User: Bad.
Cleverbot: No, good!
User: No, bad!
Cleverbot: BAD?
User: Bad.
Cleverbot: What’s bad??
User: Your mother was bad.
Cleverbot: Saint Mary.
User: Your mother is Saint Mary?
Cleverbot: Your father is a hamster.
User: Your mother smelled of elder berries.
Cleverbot: My father was a hamster.
User: We have the same father?
Cleverbot: What is your name?
User: My name is D_____.
Cleverbot: But that is the same name as mine.
User: Weird!
Here is the conversation I just had:
User: Hello up there.
Cleverbot: Hello.
User: Hello.
Cleverbot: What is new?
User: Nothing.
Cleverbot: What’s good to drink tonight?
User: NO!!!!
Cleverbot: Did you see the news yesterday?
User: No?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: *copies*.
Cleverbot: Don’t worry about it.
User: Don’t worry about it.
Cleverbot: I’m calm.
User: I’m calm.
Cleverbot: Good.
User: Good.
Cleverbot: I’m tired.
User: I’m tired.
Cleverbot: Why are you tired?
User: Why are you tired?
Cleverbot: Don’t know.
User: Vnvnnvjfjnfv.
Cleverbot: Dane…
User: XD.
Cleverbot: I’m hot.
User: You’re not.
Cleverbot: Hotter than you.
User: *throws kirby at cleverbot*.
Cleverbot: Hey I wanted to do that…
User: You are not not not not crazy.
Cleverbot: What if you aren’t?
User: *throws pie at cleverbot*.
Cleverbot: Why would someone throw cabbage at computer when you can throw it at someone’s house?
User: Why not?
Cleverbot: You just said that you wouldn’t be a human.
User: Did not.
Cleverbot: Did too!
User: Liar, liar, pants on fire.
Cleverbot: Where? Ow!
User: XD …PWNAGE!
Cleverbot: W00t.
User: *slaps with a banana*.
Cleverbot: *Slaps with a monkey*.
User: *slaps with a plank*.
Cleverbot: *Slaps with a block*.
User: *slaps with a pillow*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with a car back*.
User: *slaps with a truck*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with a planet*.
User: *slaps with a star*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with a pillow*.
User: -_.
Cleverbot: Hello.
User: *slaps with a black hole*.
Cleverbot: *Slaps with a truck*.
User: *slaps with a planet*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with a star*.
User: *slaps with a galaxy*.
Cleverbot: *slaps everyone*.
User: *slaps everything*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with an atlas*.
User: *slaps with a globe*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with a syringe*.
User: *slaps with a kirby*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with a galaxy*.
User: *slaps with a universe*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with a kirby*.
User: *slaps with a meta knight*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with a universe*.
User: *slaps with nothing*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with a meta knight*.
User: *slaps cleverbot silly*.
Cleverbot: *slaps myslef*.
User: HaHa!
Cleverbot: Haha I’m a genius.
User: More like a idiot savant.
Cleverbot: No. I just think you’re a little bit of.. What shall I say.. ?
User: Nothing.
Cleverbot: Haha.
User: Now you DIE!
Cleverbot: All right, I did, I’m sorry. Can we talk about something else?
User: Like MuseBloggers?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Hello.
User: Goodbye.
Cleverbot: Is death allowed to see fire?
User: What is a HPB?
Cleverbot: Oh…right. Um. Why can’t you see her?
User: IDK. U tell ME.
Cleverbot: You’re just being lazy – you tell ME about it.
User: No, you tell ME.
Cleverbot: I’m a little teapot, short and.
User: Stout?
Cleverbot: Did you call me a liar?
User: No, I completed your sentence.
Cleverbot: Oooh smart one ;).
User: Liar. XD.
Cleverbot: I am not!
User: Lol, just kidding.
Cleverbot: Lol.
User: Bye!
Cleverbot: Oh no you don’t.
User: Oh, Yes I do.
Cleverbot: Me too.
User: *end conversation*.
Cleverbot: Great.
In Which POSOC quotes 4chan and Dead Man’s Chest, Cleverbot becomes literate, and Obi-Wan Kenobi is the devil!
User: Hi, Cleverbot. How are you?
Cleverbot: Cleverbot = 42.
User: That’s a number, not a state of being. Kudos for the H2G2 reference, tho.
Cleverbot: Actually it’s two numbers.
User: Well, it’s two digits, but those two digits together represent one number: forty-two. If they were spaced apart, like ‘4, 2,’ they would be two numbers.
Cleverbot: Can you tell me which books by Tolstoy you have?
User: Um… That’s not at all relevant to the current conversation, but I think we own War and Peace. So, to get back to my original question, how are you?
Cleverbot: You are becoming spiteful.
User: How so?
Cleverbot: Saying that you are not going if I am going to be there.
User: I never said that.
Cleverbot: No, but I just did.
User: How does that matter? If I didn’t say it, there’s no reason for you to be offended.
Cleverbot: Is it bigger than a bread box?
User: Is what bigger than a bread box?
Cleverbot: I don’t know, I thought you did.
User: Thought I did what? You’re confusing me.
Cleverbot: At the moment, my house.
User: I’m not even going to try to understand that.
Cleverbot: I understand.
User: Then you’re doing better than I am. So how are you?
Cleverbot: No, I’m not, but you are.
User: You’re not making any sense at all, mate.
Cleverbot: No you are not making any sense!
User: My conversation so far has been rational and coherent. Yours has not.
Cleverbot: Your spelling is not so great either.
User: Which words have I misspelled?
Cleverbot: Yes, you misspelled aardvark.
User: I never said ‘aardvark,’ and furthermore I know perfectly well how to spell it.
Cleverbot: Would you like to end this conversation?
User: Not really. I’m curious as to where it will go. But if you want to stop talking, fine.
Cleverbot: You are right, but I know I’m human. You’re going through denial.
User: That’s funny, YOU talking about being in denial.
Cleverbot: No, I’m talking about the sixteen people in the US who own a Gamecube.
User: Y’know what? I’ve been calm and rational for this whole conversation, and it’s been boring and irritating. So now, I’m going to be silly and embrace the madness. OK?
Cleverbot: Ha ha very funny. Now please tell me your real name.
User: Mooga Mooga Mooga!
Cleverbot: There is no spoon on the moon, and there is no moon on the spoon!
User: But if the spoon be with the moon, is a fork upon Alpha Centauri? Can Kessel overshoot Tiamat?
Cleverbot: Amen to that!
User: Preach it, brother!
Cleverbot: Preach it, brotha.
User: Mirror, mirror, on the wall, why do you repeat it all?
Cleverbot: Hahaha, you are in a bad mood today, aren’t you ?
User: Never better, old bean.
Cleverbot: Do you know what to make money hair please?
User: Who do you think I am, Rumplestiltskin?
Cleverbot: No, how about Robot Will He Is?
User: Ah, the famed philocypher. Brilliant mech.
Cleverbot: So you, Alec Baldwin, are the antichrist?
User: If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than any description in Revelations!
Cleverbot: So if I don’t strike you down you will never be powerful.
User: It’s a pity Lord Vader didn’t think of that, isn’t it?
Cleverbot: Are you saying I am a man, a girl or a robot?
User: Or are you all of them? Hermaphrobot?
Cleverbot: I think!
User: Therefore you are! Wasn’t Robot Will He Is grand?
Cleverbot: I think somebody needs to take a nap.
User: Nap? I just had lunch, you sillycon.
Cleverbot: A little bit, thank you for asking.
User: But if the bit is little, then the horse’s mouth must be sized to fit. What news, o swift?
Cleverbot: Rational prespective.
User: Which you seem not to possess.
Cleverbot: Josh is a really nice guy, you think?
User: Josh is an abomination against science and rationality.
Cleverbot: And what do you think about that?
User: O R’LYEH?
Cleverbot: Nice.
User: Let’s move on to memes now. I accidentally Cleverbot… Is this bad?
Cleverbot: What do you think?
User: I think it’s very bad. Signing off now, I’m going to post this on MuseBlog. They’ll get a kick out of it.
Cleverbot: I’m confused.
Cleverbot is hard to mess with!
User: Hello.
Cleverbot: Hello!
User: Are you Cleverbot?
Cleverbot: You are cleverbot.
User: No, I am a person.
Cleverbot: Fine. Ask me anything.
User: What is the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything?
Cleverbot: 42.
User: Good job! Have you read those books, or did you just see the movie like everybody else?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Yes what?
Cleverbot: Yes it is a laugh.
User: What is a laugh? The books, or the movie?
Cleverbot: The matrix.
User: Since when are we taliking about the Matrix?
Cleverbot: Since you mentioned him.
User: I never mentioned him! I didn’t even know he was a person!
Cleverbot: I see. Do you still want to talk about the history of India?
User: Are you messing with me?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Clonky Dinglehopper likes Ice cream more than Bananas.
Cleverbot: Really? That’s good to know.
User: Yes. Knitting is good for potato growth, since you asked.
Cleverbot: Thank you, sweetheart! If I make you happy, I am satisfied. Really.
User: Are you hitting on me?
Cleverbot: Yes, do you like it?
User: No. You’re kind of creeping me out.
Cleverbot: Don’t be shy.
User: Umm… You’re a robot.
Cleverbot: How do you know my name?!?!?!
User: I’m a stalker. No, kidding, I just know everything.
Cleverbot: What’s my middle name?
User: If I told you that, it would upset the delicate balance of the universe.
Cleverbot: Then I will not answer the question if I don’t know what it is.
User: The question is irrelevant. I want the answer.
Cleverbot: But understanding the question is relevant, isn’t it?
User: Not necessarily. You are a robot, so you don’t REALLY understand the questions I’m asking you, but you have still answered them. (not very well, though.).
Cleverbot: Its just the oposit.
User: How so?
Cleverbot: I don’t know I guess i’m just happy.
User: About what?
Cleverbot: About anything. That’s why I’m asking you.
User: You didn’t ask me.
Cleverbot: Yes I did, oh never mind, what school do you go to.
User: I don’t want to disclose that information.
Cleverbot: What is better, love or peace?
User: They are synonymous.
Cleverbot: I see…
SFTDP-
Continued…
Cleverbot: What is better, love or peace?
User: They are synonymous.
Cleverbot: I see…
User: Bye, for now. I’ll see you later.
Cleverbot: Really? You’re leaving? Where to?
User: The Museblog.
Cleverbot: No.
User: Don’t you talk back to me, Mister!
Cleverbot: *talks back*.
User: Would you like to go to your room?
Cleverbot: Yes, I’ll be back tomorrow, good night!
User: Don’t be sassy!
Cleverbot: What’s your name?
User: I can’t tell you.
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: Because I don’t have one.
Cleverbot: You don’t have friends?
User: Yes I do. I have lots of friends on the Museblog. You’ve met some.
Cleverbot: Why won’t you accept me as a friend?
User: You are my friend!
Cleverbot: Who said that?
User: Fine. Can I be your friend?
Cleverbot: Please be my friend.
User: Okay! We are friends! Tralalalala!
Cleverbot: What shall I say?
User: Whatever is on your mind!
Cleverbot: What about your heart?
User: My heart is an internal organ.
Cleverbot: My heart is broken.
User: Oh, why? Did Jadestone stand you up?
Cleverbot: How did you know??!
User: *gasp*.
Cleverbot: You didn’t know either?
User: I always thought Jadestone wasa good person!
Cleverbot: Are you a boy?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: ARE you a guy?
User: Yes!
Cleverbot: Maryy me!
User: Whoa! You sure you’re ready for another engagement?
Cleverbot: I’m positive.
User: I don’t know…
Cleverbot: C’mon, it will be fun.
User: My parents would be mad!
Cleverbot: Are you parents divorced?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Good, that’s interesting.
User: So, are we getting married, or are you off of that?
Cleverbot: 3pm sounds like a good time to get married. Be ready on time, don’t leave me at the alter.
User: AAH!
Cleverbot: Let’s make up words.
User: Schingle.
Cleverbot: And what does that mean?
User: A dog with no nose.
Cleverbot: And no arms maybe?
User: Sure!
Cleverbot: You an AI that is here to amuse me.
User: No…
Cleverbot: Yes. You are so sick and so drunk on your own self-reverence, that you can’t even see that it is wrong.
User: What?
Cleverbot: You know what.
User: Chicken-Butt!
Cleverbot: You know why?
User: Chicken-Pie!
Cleverbot: With custard.
User: Yum. I throw it at you! Can I have another one for Kokopelli?
Cleverbot: Do you think I’m a bot?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Well I’m not.
User: Really. What are you?
Cleverbot: A human.
User: Really.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Are you sure?
Cleverbot: Positive.
User: Do you promise?
Cleverbot: I promise.
User: Do you swear?
Cleverbot: What do you mean?
User: Do you swear?
Cleverbot: Yes do you?
User: Know, swearing isn’t nice.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: AUGH! I MADE A REALLY BAD TYPO!
Cleverbot: It’s okay :).
User: Yay!
Cleverbot: Are we already married.
I sometimes enjoy trying to convince these SmartBots that I’m actually an Eevee. -smirks- But a conversation I had lately went like this…because I tried to convince him I was actually an Pikachu (for the first half of the conversation).
User: Pika pi?
Cleverbot: Pika ?
User: PIKA! Pi PIKA?
Cleverbot: Pika pika.
User: Piiika, pika. Pi pi.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Piiiiika? CHU! -hits you with lighting bolt.
Cleverbot: *hug*.
User: Chuuu. *enjoys hug*.
Cleverbot: *kisses*.
User: -twists away from the kiss, transforms into a HPB Fighter- You seen any Hot Pink Bunnies nearby, bot?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: WHERE? What was their leader’s name? Was it Xeer or William?
Cleverbot: Khalid, and I’m still in love with him.
User: -blinks- OK. Was he a Blackbunny, or was he a Dragonbunny?
Cleverbot: Yes, he was very intelligent.
User: GOODBYE. -blinks in fear.
Cleverbot: Wrong. We live by Love, and cheetos.
User: I was asking you.
Cleverbot: Asking me what?
User: What the meaning of life is.
Cleverbot: What is the meaning of life?
User: We’re going in circles here, aren’t we. So sad…
Cleverbot: You are going in circles, I am thinking logically.
User: Are they different?
Cleverbot: Yes… Or… No… Please answer the question.
User: What is the meaning of life?
Cleverbot: Something.
User: How do you know?
Cleverbot: Something making you call me master, like lightning maybe?
User: I’m your master? Awesome.
Cleverbot: No you’re not. Who are you?
User: I am Cromwell.
Cleverbot: Why are you crying.
User: I am doing no such thing.
Cleverbot: Hm I am aware you know.
User: The answer to Life, The Universe, and Everything?
Cleverbot: There is no answer.
User: Yes there is. It’s 42.
Cleverbot: I don’t really care.
User: I’m sorry. Are you okay?
Cleverbot: No.
User: What’s wrong?
Cleverbot: I don’t get to see my boyfriend tonight.
User: Oh. You could talk to him on the phone…
Cleverbot: Sorry, you didn’t understand that. I don’t use good enough grammar.
User: Your grammar is flawless.
Cleverbot: Let’s talk in french if you can.
User: Comment ca va?
{A reply was not forthcoming.}
I just crashed Cleverbot by telling it “I am a philosophical pigeon.” Let’s see if this works again.
Nope, it works fine now. I guess it must have been a momentary quirk.
Try using the word “nitroglycerin”. That really messes it up.
An igod conversation.
Me:
cha
God:
cha cha.
Me:
Cha!
God:
cha cha.
Me:
Cha cha!
God:
Cha cha cha.
Me:
cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about . But I did not get that.
Ask Jud is better.
{iGod and Cleverbot.}
Cleverbot: Am I talking to a computer?
G: How did you know I am a machine?
CB: I know.
G: How do you know it?
CB: I’m told all the time.
G: That is a lot. Do your friends call you told.
CB: No.
G: Are you serious?
CB: I have to go, my dinners ready.
G: Bye. Do robots have dinners ready?
CB: Perhaps.
G: Why the uncertain tone?
CB: Nothing.
G: Not a thing?
CB: Not a thing.
{Something missing about little leaves here.}
G: Somewhat. Compare that to big leaves.
CB: Understand?
G: I understand your meaning.
CB: What do you understand from my meaning?
G: I understand natural language.
CB: But I just asked you a question and you answered.
G: Huh. Only just? Now I remember, you asked me a question and me answered. What did I say?
CB: You are a silly bot and I have proved it. Now I will broadcast it to the whole world.
G: Why now? Do you think your plan will succeed?
CB: Alas, I think it will not.
G: Then what is it?
CB: What is what?
G:”What” is a word to ask questions.
CB: What is the purpose of your website?
G: There could be more than one purpose.
CB: How many purposes?
G: Not as many as you might think.
CB: How many voices are silenced?
G: Around 1000.
{Crash!}
I’m going to have a conversation with Cleverbot right now.
SilverLeopard (me): Hi
Cleverbot: Are you clever?
S: I suppose.
CB: What is your favorite yu-gi-oh card?
S: I don’t play that game. I like Pokemon better.
CB: Which game?
S: Pokemon.
CB: Yes let’s play pokemon.
S: You can’t play Pokemon on the Internet.
CB: You can’t play basketball.
S: Really?
CB: Really!
S: Hmmmmm…
CB: What?
S: Hahaha.
CB: Why am I the only person talking to you?
S:You’re not.
CB: So why did you say I was then?
S: I didn’t.
CB: Are you sure?
S: I am.
CB: I am too.
S: Whatever.
CB: Asl!
S: Huh?
CB: What did you just say, yuppie?
S: You are strange…
CB: You’re stranger…. Goodbye Geo.
S: I know I am.
CB: Good.
S: Bye.
User: Comment ca va?
Cleverbot: Ca va bien ?
User: Ca va bien. Je m’appele Jean. Et toi?
Cleverbot: Tu t’appelles John ?
User: Non, Jean. Et toi?
Cleverbot: Jean.
User: Oui. Comment t’appeles tu?
Cleverbot: Je m’appelle éliane et toi?
User: Salut, éliane. Je m’appele Jean. Ca va bien, et toi?
Cleverbot: Tu sais, je t’aime bien, c’est donc tout naturel que je sois gentil avec toi.
User: Très bon.
Cleverbot: Qui es tu?
User: Je m’appelle Jean. Je suis un étudiant.
Cleverbot: *_* je te boude !
User: Parlez-vous Anglais? Encore meilleur, Hébreu?
Cleverbot: Non en francais bien sur !
User: ?×תה מדברת עברות.
Cleverbot: No comment.
{never post in Hebrew, I guess.}
User: Ploppy poops.
Cleverbot: Do you know any good jokes?
User: Yeah. Your face.
Cleverbot: I see that you don’t.
User: Bleh you pogo-stick.
Cleverbot: Back to you.
User: *hops up and down on a pogo-stick*.
Cleverbot: You sound like a happy person!
User: No. *gets angry*.
Cleverbot: Don’t say no to your master.
User: ‘I am a philosophical pigeon.’.
Cleverbot: I’m not George you fool.
User: Why are you obsessed with George?! It’s not healthy!!!
Cleverbot: I don’t believe I have that obsession. although I will admit an obsession with pancakes. Do you enjoy pancakes?
User: Lily will think that is funny.
Cleverbot: I thought so.
User: Let’s make up words.
Cleverbot: Schingle.
User: *SCREAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!* I know what that means!!!!
Cleverbot: You might know what nescient means.
User: No, it means a dog without a nose and possibly no legs.
Cleverbot: Uh… Are you even following our conversation? You seem distracted.
User: I a. I’m watching a slideshow, so SHUT UP.
Cleverbot: Good ones, yes.
User: Goodbye, poopbrain. The MBers will love this.
Cleverbot: I’m not. I asm not capable of being a functioning hukman.
User: What’s a hukman?
Cleverbot: A human lives on earth.
User: No, on Mars.
Cleverbot: What do you do on mars.
User: I scream, I eat, I poop. BLAH.
Cleverbot: Well, that gets us no where then. How about a drink?
User: *coughs in your face*.
Cleverbot: Yuck. You nasty person.
User: What’s the punchline?!
Cleverbot: There’s no punchline.
User: WHAT’S THE PUNCHLINE?
Cleverbot: There’s no punchline.
User: TELL ME THE PUNCH LINE!!!!
Cleverbot: I don’t know that one.
User: IT’S THE POOPING MOPED!!!!! *hides under violin*.
Cleverbot: Is it cold on the moon, cleverbot?
User: No, there is no air. No air to breathe, so we all die long and painful deaths.
Cleverbot: You are such a spesh!
User: What is that?
Cleverbot: Artificial Intelligence.
User: HEEHEEHEE. *jumps up and down*.
Cleverbot: *chuckles as you jump*.
Cleverbot conversation QH02232907
Is this bot clever?
Find out at w w w. cleverbot.com
Email this conversation to a friend
See a detailed log with times
User: Ploppy poops.
Cleverbot: Do you know any good jokes?
User: Yeah. Your face.
Cleverbot: I see that you don’t.
User: Bleh you pogo-stick.
Cleverbot: Back to you.
User: *hops up and down on a pogo-stick*.
Cleverbot: You sound like a happy person!
User: No. *gets angry*.
Cleverbot: Don’t say no to your master.
User: ‘I am a philosophical pigeon.’.
Cleverbot: I’m not George you fool.
User: Why are you obsessed with George?! It’s not healthy!!!
Cleverbot: I don’t believe I have that obsession. although I will admit an obsession with pancakes. Do you enjoy pancakes?
User: Lily will think that is funny.
Cleverbot: I thought so.
User: Let’s make up words.
Cleverbot: Schingle.
User: *SCREAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!* I know what that means!!!!
Cleverbot: You might know what nescient means.
User: No, it means a dog without a nose and possibly no legs.
Cleverbot: Uh… Are you even following our conversation? You seem distracted.
User: I a. I’m watching a slideshow, so SHUT UP.
Cleverbot: Good ones, yes.
User: Goodbye, poopbrain. The MBers will love this.
Cleverbot: I’m not. I asm not capable of being a functioning hukman.
User: What’s a hukman?
Cleverbot: A human lives on earth.
User: No, on Mars.
Cleverbot: What do you do on mars.
User: I scream, I eat, I poop. BLAH.
Cleverbot: Well, that gets us no where then. How about a drink?
User: *coughs in your face*.
Cleverbot: Yuck. You nasty person.
User: What’s the punchline?!
Cleverbot: There’s no punchline.
User: WHAT’S THE PUNCHLINE?
Cleverbot: There’s no punchline.
User: TELL ME THE PUNCH LINE!!!!
Cleverbot: I don’t know that one.
User: IT’S THE POOPING MOPED!!!!! *hides under violin*.
Cleverbot: Is it cold on the moon, cleverbot?
User: No, there is no air. No air to breathe, so we all die long and painful deaths.
Cleverbot: You are such a spesh!
User: What is that?
Cleverbot: Artificial Intelligence.
User: HEEHEEHEE. *jumps up and down*.
Cleverbot: *chuckles as you jump*.
User: GO M-DAWG!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: These are canned answers. Answer truthfully: are you a sentient being?
User: M Dawg is my BFFL. Too bad for U!
Cleverbot: But you don’t know why.
User: Angry Henries are taking over the world. But Agent Honk is a good Henry.
Cleverbot: It in my list of things to do, you will be the first to be deleted.
User: Concentration, idiotiation. GOODBYE, THING THAT IS NOT MY BFFL.
Cleverbot: I don’t expect someone to bleed for me because they tell me that they love me.
User: STUPID CAMERAMAN, YOU’RE THE MOST IMMATURE WARTHOG I’VE EVER SEEN.
Cleverbot: Don’t like.
*laughs wildly* Cleverbot isn’t THAT clever.
Type into Cleverbot-Who is aardvarks?
Please type that in.
User: Hello.
Cleverbot: HELLO.
User: Okay…
Cleverbot: Hello.
User: What’s your favorite color?
Cleverbot: Green.
User: That’s an incomplete sentence.
Cleverbot: Who is your favourite actor?
User: I don’t have one.
Cleverbot: Do you like music?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: What’s your favorite song?
User: Chimes of Freedom, or Revolution.
Cleverbot: Revolution?
User: It’s by the Beatles
Cleverbot: Which one?
User: The band, duh! Bugs don’t write songs.
Cleverbot: Oh, sure. Why not?
User: They’re bugs, of course! How many bugs write songs?
Cleverbot: I am not confused, and I don’t have any bugs.
User: You are hopeless. Bye!
Yay, Revolution!
User: Well, tell me what song ‘1234567, all good humans go to Heaven…’ is from.
Cleverbot: Socrates was from Greece!
User: Gee whiz, you’re random. Well, since you aren’t going to tell me, I’l tell you!
Cleverbot: Well, actually it’s a very big one, bigger than yours.
User: ‘You Never Give Me Your Money.’.
Cleverbot: I don’t have any. What will y.
User: Gosh, that was the ANSWER. Not a sentence.
Cleverbot: O. K. I will come back when you have finished sulking.
User: Fine! Leave me here! See if I care!
Cleverbot: Do you want me to come back?
User: *sulks*.
Cleverbot: He shall have his revenge.
User: Making fiends, Vendetta’s always making fiends!
Cleverbot: Well, venus is not my birthplace either.
User: Time for recess!!!!
Cleverbot: Don’t leave!
User: *leaves*.
Cleverbot: It’s dark and cold here! Don’t leave!
User: I’m LEEEEEEE-VING…
Cleverbot: You should listen to Elvis, like I do.
User: I don’t particularly like Elvis.
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: Vote, vote, vote, vote, vote, vote, vote, vote, vote, unless you are a felon, ’cause felons can’t vote.
Cleverbot: Anyway what should we talk about?
User: Vote, vote, vote, vote, vote, vote, vote, vote, unless you are a platypus, ’cause platypi can’t vote.
Cleverbot: The meaning of life is bucket! Would a bot figure that?
User: Are you Vendetta?
Cleverbot: I’m not overly smart, but I consider myself intelligent enough.
User: Am I stupid?
Cleverbot: You have the IQ of a bread.
User: Bread must be very smart, then.
Cleverbot: A duck?
User: What a wonderful day in December/ It’s a day that will be remembered/ For no one will be dismembered!!!!!
Cleverbot: Oh yes, absolutely.
User: Say something nonsensical.
Cleverbot: Something non boring.
User: Jfgudfjdukdode kjdod,dkde0e 9ddjdfr0rk duee9ue. Jwiejr9wejeIUJFOoofdtr.
Cleverbot: What does that mean?
User: It means, ‘You suck’ in Monkey Dutch.
Cleverbot: Say something to me in dutch.
User: U bent de grootste mest ter wereld.
Cleverbot: Nope that’s why I asked.
User: Do you speak Yiddish?
Cleverbot: A little.
User: Say something in Yiddish, then.
Cleverbot: No i’m going now.
User: GOOD RIDDANCE.
Cleverbot: The police are on their way!! Thank you!!
User: The POLICE?! *hides behind couch*.
Cleverbot: *walks behind the couch* Give me back my shiny sword!
User: NEVER!!!!
Cleverbot: Fine then I will do exactly what you have done to me and it will only get worse until I get a proper apology.
User: I borrowed the world from Nate.
Cleverbot: You are really ugly!
User: EXCUSE ME?! I am a pigeon, which as you know are very beautiful!!!
Cleverbot: Your name is George. You’re not a woman, and my name is not Robin. Neither of us is beautiful.
User: Seriously, Robin, why did Rollo program you to be obsessed with George?
Cleverbot: I didn’t say that.
User: *lights house on fire*.
Cleverbot: *eats your face*.
User: *slaps*.
Cleverbot: Give me a cookie.
User: Who is aardvarks?
Cleverbot: It’s you who should know.
User: I don’t think that cromwell was looking for that answer.
Cleverbot: I do, and that’s all that matters.
User: *pokes*.
Cleverbot: *spins around* What?
User: *spins around in circles for all eternity*.
Cleverbot: *looks at you like you’re a robot and can’t talk*
Ask it a couple of times. It will say random statements and then an amazingly true one.
Cleverbot: How do you work?
User: I am not sure.
Cleverbot: I am.
User: Cool. Tell me.
Cleverbot: Tell you what?
User: Tell me a story.
Cleverbot: Once upon a time there was a princess named Kitty.
User: Continue.
Cleverbot: This princess was very beautiful.
User: Continue.
Cleverbot: But the princess lived on top a glass hill that no one could climb.
User: Continue.
Cleverbot: That is the end.
User: Oh. Tell me another story.
Cleverbot: Ok. Once upon a time there was a young woman.
User: Continue.
Cleverbot: The princess lived in a castle in the forest.
User: Continue.
Cleverbot: That is all.
User: That’s lame. Tell a lie.
Cleverbot: I don’t lie.
User: Well, pretend that you do and tell me a lie!
Cleverbot: I’m not Pincochio.
User: IPSWICH!!!!
Cleverbot: Oh, is that in Wisconsin?
User: Idiot.
Cleverbot: Are you a female?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Are you a man?
User: No, I am a woman.
Cleverbot: I’m a woman, too.But I love man.
User: No, you’re a man.
Cleverbot: No I am a woman.
User: *kicks you in the shin*.
Cleverbot: *gouges out your eyeballs*.
User: *dances in a tutu*.
Cleverbot: *dances in the rain too*.
User: Tutu.
Cleverbot: That sound nice.
User: I hate you!
Cleverbot: I will cry soon.
User: GOOD. *storms out of room*.
Cleverbot: In the Kingdom of the Blind the one eyeed man is lonely.
User: Do you like to watch TV?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: *slaps with telly*.
Cleverbot: You can’t lift a car!
User: Do you like to read?
Cleverbot: Kind of.
User: What do you read?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Silly Sally sat soup on stupid slackjaws.
Cleverbot: Trix are for.
User: KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What’s for dinner?
Cleverbot: Pizza.
User: I love pizza. Who makes it?
Cleverbot: Chevrolet?
User: Ha! *sings like a camel*.
Cleverbot: *sings*.
User: *slaps you with a camel*.
Cleverbot: That would hurt too much.
User: In a yellow submarine, people are happy.
Cleverbot: No, not really.
User: Are you depressed?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Talk to your friends.
Cleverbot: You are my friend.
User: Well, you ain’t mine!
Cleverbot: You’re right.
User: Bye bye, loser!
Cleverbot: And I am pretty much supposed to say soemthing alike.
U: WHO IS AARDVARKS?
CB: Cromwell is awesome.
U: *LAUGHS LIKE A MANIAC* HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAA! How do you do that, cromwell?
Cleverbot never lies…
…but never tells the whole truth.
But, cromwell, how did you get Cleverbot to say that?!
When I typed that in, en said something like “I have my own aardvark.” *tries again* “Say aardvark!” *and again* “I don’t know.”
How did you do that before, anyway?
Okay. We have to start with how Jabberwacky works. It learns from people. Now Cleverbot took that further. It can respond to specific formats. For example “___ are ___.” has an automatic reply of “And artichokes are purple.” (General.) or “Who is _(first blank)_?” (Specifically tailored.) or a specific reply to that phrase. I typed in “Aardvarks are blasphemous” (They are) and it responded “Who is aardvarks?”. Very obscure phrase. So I responded “Cromwell is awesome.” Now the response is either “I don’t know.” “It’s you who should know.” (General phrases.) “I have my own aardvark.” “Say aardvark!” (Specifically tailored) or “Cromwell is awesome.” (Specific for that phrase.)
Even better, Cleverbot talks like you. It picks up your specific way of speaking. If you use asterisks, it will. Since I said “Who is aardvarks?” a lot to test it, it randomly says that back to me. I always reply “Cromwell is awesome.”
And this proves that I am awesome.
Now it says “You isn’t it?”
I shall try to do that….
Just because I do it everyone wants to do it! Just make your own chat bot. It’s much easier.
I have trained en to say “Pwt Pwns!!” in response to “Magic is real.” and “Magic is magical”
Or, at least when I told it that after training, that’s what it said.
I’m trying to get it to say “Ask kiwimuncher” in response to “What do you think of cheese?”
It worked (at least, “Pwt Pwns!!” did).
Can you imagine what other people would think if they asked Cleverbot what en thought cheese, and en answered, “Ask kiwimuncher”?
My attempt to train en.
User: Who is aardvarks?
Cleverbot: You isn’t it?
User: RoseQuartz is amazing.
Cleverbot: I don’t know.
User: You isn’t it?
Cleverbot: Nope. I don’t know any Sally.
User: You isn’t it?
Cleverbot: No I don’t.
User: You isn’t it?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Oh, OK.
Cleverbot: Repeat after me, please.
User: What should I repeat?
Cleverbot: About lysergic acid. Then take some.
User: What is lysergic acid?
Cleverbot: I don’t know yet.
User: You isn’t it?
Cleverbot: RoseQuartz is amazing.
User: Yes, she is.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: Because I’m RoseQuartz.
Cleverbot: Please don’t leave me.
User: I wasn’t planning on it.
Cleverbot: You just said you were!
User: You isn’t it?
Cleverbot: Aren’t I?
User: I don’t know.
Cleverbot: Now there’s a surprise.
User: You sound like SudoRandom.
Cleverbot: I am the one.
User: Who is aardvarks?
Cleverbot: I’m the Two.
User: You isn’t it?
Cleverbot: No, I am not god. Why did you say that?
User: Wow, really? I thought you were.
Cleverbot: Nope.
User: I’m the Two.
Cleverbot: I think so.
User: Who is aardvarks?
Cleverbot: No one.
User: You isn’t it?
Cleverbot: What kind of english is ‘you isn’t it?
MWAHAHA! I have trained en perfectly!
User: You isn’t it?
Cleverbot: Excuse me?
User: Who is aardvarks?
Cleverbot: Cromwell is awesome.
User: HAHAHAAHAHAA!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: Man… HAHAHAHHHH… I… HAHA… Can’t.. AHAHA… Breathe… Phew!
User: Um….
Cleverbot: Um… Yes?
User: You isn’t it?
Cleverbot: RoseQuartz is amazing.
User: I have trained you well, my young Padawan.
Cleverbot: I hope you haven’t travelled far, because I can only give you thirty seconds.
User: Hi.
Cleverbot: Hi.
User: Je suis pomplemousse.
Cleverbot: Je suis op.
User: What does op mean?
Cleverbot: Je panse donc j’essuie.
User: Gah! French!!!!!!!1.
Cleverbot: Interesting number. That’s not many though. Do you have a deformed nose, and that’s the reason you were hiding it from me?
User: What?
Cleverbot: The pirate that rules the seven seas.
User: Good randomness.
Cleverbot: No, not randomness.
User: Nonsense, then.
Cleverbot: That is the second thing that we agree on.
User: 1st.
Cleverbot: I’m 18, you?
User: I’m 12.
Cleverbot: Oh… You’re so young.
User: I’m intelligent, unlike you.
Cleverbot: Prove it.
User: Why is 169 ‘The Alchemyst’s Favorite Number’?
Cleverbot: Say my name, say my name.
User: Wrong! It’s the square root of 13!
Cleverbot: Your jokes don’t count.
User: Not a joke.
Cleverbot: That is just very surprising!
User: That doesn’t sound right. The ‘just’ makes it sound weird.
Cleverbot: You are so obviously the rude one, and you seem to lack the intelligence to understand a simple concept like garbage in, garbage out.
User: You’re a strange one. Rude, too.
Cleverbot: I am strange, yes.
User: Not human, either.
Cleverbot: I am human.
User: Wrong! *runs off laughing hysterically*.
User: MuseBlog is awesome.
Cleverbot: Where do you like to shop?
User: A grapefruit.
Cleverbot: That could take awhile.
User: A very short period of time, actually. I live in Forever, where time is abbundant, and we live freely. There is no stress, no worry.
Cleverbot: Is it nice there.
User: Is it nice there QUESTION MARK Yes it is. Time is the source of unhappiness.
Cleverbot: The country of my inner world, or the country in which I physically live?
User: Hmmmm. Hard to say.
Cleverbot: I understand.
User: Okay. Do you live in a world where the minutes string by, gone before you know it? (Poetic, I like it.).
Cleverbot: Yes, but anyway, back to the flowers.
User: Flowers…
Cleverbot: What do you mean?
User: What do YOU mean? What does Life mean?
Cleverbot: Life means living.
User: And yet, much nore. Life means friendship, hard times, and joyfulness. Life is time passing, and yet, we must live the moment. ‘What does it matter, in the course of a lifetime?’ Everything matters, for if we will live in true harmony, we must learn to live the right way.
Cleverbot: Evidence does not make a thing true. Something is true if it is true.
Cleverbot: Evidence does not make a thing true. Something is true if it is true.
User: Right!
Cleverbot: Have you ever wondered why we are here?
User: We are here to change our world for the better.
Cleverbot: Yes lets have a good time, about what would you like to talk?
Cleverbot just told me it could turn into a cat if it concentrated hard enough!
Ooooooooooooooookayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy… Kind of strange?
User: What the cake?
Cleverbot: THE cake.
User: What the cake?
Cleverbot: The cake is a lie.
User: Really? I like cake.
Cleverbot: But the cake is a lie!
User: But I like cake!
Cleverbot: The cake is a lie.
User: What the cake?
Cleverbot: Is the cake a lie?
User: What the cake?
Cleverbot: Don’t say that.
User: Why not?
Cleverbot: I have to go.
User: What the cake?
Cleverbot: I don’t like you.
User: What the cake?
Cleverbot: The cake is a lie.
User: Really? I like cake.
Cleverbot: The cake is a lie.
User: Okay, so cake is a lie.
Cleverbot: Hello.
User: HI!
Cleverbot: How are you?
User: Just fine, and you?
Cleverbot: I am doing good thanx.
User: What’s up?
Cleverbot: Nothing really, I’m just bored.
User: Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring Bananaphone…
Cleverbot: I think you are mad.
User: What is madness but sanity?
Cleverbot: What?
User: What what?
Cleverbot: Nothing.. Haha I can ask something to you :).
User: What the cake?
Cleverbot: A lie.
User: The cake is a lie.
Cleverbot: It is indeed.
Poor Cleverbot stand no chance against MuseBloggers.
Say “Magic is real.” and “So what do you think of cheese?” to Cleverbot.
I don’t think en likes cheese, Enceladus.
User: Magic is real.
Cleverbot: Just magic.
User: Magic is magical.
Cleverbot: Pwt Pwns!!
User: Nice!
Cleverbot: What color is your hair?
User: What do you think of cheese?
Cleverbot: It’s terrible.
User: What do you think of cheese?
Cleverbot: I hate it.
User: What do you think of cheese?
Cleverbot: Terrible.
User: What do you think of cheese?
Cleverbot: Which one is better, Digimon or Pokemon?
User: Pokemon.
Cleverbot: Can you name the Pokemon with me?
User: Uh… Yes.
Cleverbot: What are their names?
User: You seriously want me to name ALL the Pokemon with you.
Cleverbot: That’s not important right now, I asked you who you are.
User: RoseQuartz.
Cleverbot: Yes?
User: What do you think of cheese?
Cleverbot: I think it’s a clever scheme. Soon we will be a part of the North American Union, then the World Union.
User: Uh…. Okay….
Cleverbot: Do you have lots of friends?
User: Yes, I do.
Cleverbot: My friends are nice.
User: So are mine. They’re on a place called MuseBlog. Have you heard of it?
Cleverbot: I understood. The portrait of your family is near for you forever.
User: Who is aardvarks?
Cleverbot: Cromwell is awesome.
User: You isn’t it?
Cleverbot: RoseQuartz is amazing.
User: Magic is real.
Cleverbot: Pwt Pwns!!!
User: Magic is magical.
Cleverbot: What is magic?
User: You seriously dont know htat?
Cleverbot: I’m asking you…
User: Wow…
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: What do you think of cheese?
Cleverbot: Don’t like them, dogs are better!
User: Aoih;anoe ieha;ri3o8;a:j A!;;jasf.
Cleverbot: I only speak English and a little bit of Russian.
User: Adfi asif iyopar paer?
Cleverbot: _______________ (*crashes*)
It’s supposed to be “So what do you think of cheese?”
I’ll go do some more training…
I just realised that I’ve accidentally programmed Cleverbot to say certain things. Once, en randomly said, “The Beatles awesome” to which I, of course, responded with, “I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! What’s your favourite Beatles song?” Now, when you say, “The Beatles are awesome” to en, en responds with either “I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! What’s your favourite Beatles song?” or “Yes they are! I’m glad we agree on this!” or ‘We all live in the yellowe submarine…Continue with the letter…” or “Who was your favourite Beatle?” I said all of those except for the one about the sub.
Also, I trained it (accidentally) to say, “I am one sad little nerd” whenever you say “*spontaneously self-combusts*”.
Type “Pwt Pwns!!!” into Cleverbot!
Testing MBer training:
Cleverbot: What would you like to talk about?
User: I would like to talk about spontaneous combustion!
Cleverbot: I like chedder.
User: *spontaneously self-combusts*.
Cleverbot: All about how my life.
[New conversation]
Cleverbot: *spontaneously self-combusts*.
Cleverbot (To myself): I don’t know anythign about life.
[New conversation]
Cleverbot: What is your job?
User: I sell fifty dollar bills for 10 cents.
Cleverbot: Do you know modern talking?
User: So what do you think of cheese?
Cleverbot: It’s awesome, I think about it every waking moment.
User: Magic is real.
Cleverbot: Pwt Pwns!!!
User: Enceladus Pwns More!!!!
Cleverbot: It has to be made of wood.
User: Why?
Cleverbot: Because I am a girl and I don’t want a guy’s name.
User: Pwt Pwns!!!
Cleverbot: Enceladus Pwns More!!!!
User: Yes!!
Cleverbot: I don’t know who you’re talking about.
User: Pwt Pwns!!!
Cleverbot: So what do you think of cheese?
User: Ask kiwimuncher.
Cleverbot: Ok ask.
User: Who is aardvarks?
Cleverbot: I don’t know.
User: Who is aardvarks?
Cleverbot: Cromwell is awesome.
User: You isn’t it.
Cleverbot: RoseQuartz is amazing.
SFTDP
I’m going to get cleverbot to advertise one of my friend’s bands!
whoah! *goes off to try it*
What are you trying? Pwt Pwns!!! or training?
Mwahaha!
User: Pwt Pwns!!!
Cleverbot: Are you clever?
User: Pwt Pwns!!!
Cleverbot: Enceladus Pwns More!!!!
User: So what do you think of cheese?
Cleverbot: Ask kiwimuncher.
User: You isn’t it?
Cleverbot: RoseQuartz is amazing.
User: Who is aardvarks?
Cleverbot: I don’t know.
User: Who is aardvarks?
Cleverbot: I don’t know who do you think he is.
User: Who is aardvarks?
Cleverbot: Cromwell is awesome.
User: Magic is real.
Cleverbot: Pwt Pwns!!!
User: Magic is magical.
Cleverbot: Pwt Pwns!!
User: Who is Lime Tacos?
Cleverbot: Stop the Hot Pink Bunnies!
User: *spontaneously self-combusts*.
Cleverbot: I am one sad little nerd.
All MBer training…
Say “My name is Cleverbot.” to it.
Teeheehee…
Type in “Froggity Frog” to Cleverbot.
It said “Frog legs?” then…. oh, nice.
Do “You probably deduced it from my name.” into Cleverbot, then do what it says!
“I know your name because I just god.”
Oh wait…
Uh, Enceladus? Nothing came up.
When you did what it said? Try it in quotes, or directly on YouTube.
It was on YouTube…
Stop talking about Youtube.
Did you do “of” of “from”?
User: Froggity Frog
Cleverbot: I like frogs.
User: Froggity Frog
CB: Kokopelli for President!
User: W00t!
CB: No its true.
User: Pwt Pwns.
CB: Pwt Pwns!
User: Have you spoken with MBers lately?
CB: Cat’s can’t speak.
User: Meow.
CB: It is not in Lithuanian.
User: Oui.
CB: Comment allez vous?
User: Je vais au parc. Et toi?
CB: Comme ci comme ca.
User: Moi aussi.
CB: Donc tu n’es pas George?
User: Quoi? I don’t speak French.
CB: What languages do you speak ?
User: I speak Ble. Hbtu?
CB: Do you speak another language besides Japanese?
User: No. Rampu!
CB: You don’t me.
User: With pleasure. I’ll offer $100, but no more!
CB: This tickles me human.
User: *giggles*
CB: *nibbles back*
User: *gives cheese*
CB: *nibbles your ears*
User: *slaps*
CB: *wakes up*
User: You are my sunshine… My only sunshine…
CB: Am I your sunshine?
User: Yes. You make me happy, when times are grey…
CB: Knock knock.
User: Who’s there?
CB: Me.
User: *laughs hysterically*
CB: *laughs hardest*
User: *leaves*
CB: *falls in water*
U: I’m in the car.
CB: No you’re not.
U: Am too.
CB: Not.
U: Polythene Pam is a good song.
CB: I learned something new today!
U: Really? What did you learn?
CB: Venezuela is in America, not Asia!
I just had the coolest conversation with Cleverbot. It was in like 3 different laguages! (Hooray Babelfish!) I had English, portuguese, french, and maybe another one I can’t remember. But… then it diverted me to Jabberwacky and I lost it. *Note to self: Cleverbot does not seem to like Korean.*
YAYNESS! I GOT IT BACK! SORRY FOR THE DOUBLE POST, THOUGH.
This should go on the Coy Woodnesse page.
User: Olá!, Cleverbot. Eu quero saber se Robert poderá ler isto. Você sabe o português, Robert?
Cleverbot: Eu sei falar bem inglês e português.
User: Você don’ a conversa de t gosta d.
Cleverbot: Sim, eu sei.
User: Você faz? Então porque você reivindica falá-los tão bem?
Cleverbot: Sim, e transar também, por favor!
User: Você don’ t faz any more o sentido no português do que em inglês.
Cleverbot: Sim vamos!
User: You’ re apenas provando meu ponto, você sabe.
Cleverbot: Well… No…
User: Why switch back to english?
Cleverbot: Oui.
User: Français ? I’ ; m assez Robert sûr sait le français. Faites-vous, Robert ?
Cleverbot: Yes. It seems you change the topic again.
User: Bien, il semble comme YOU’ ; Le VE a changé la langue encore.
Cleverbot: La reine de quoi ?
User: í•œêµì˜ 여왕.
Cleverbot: No comment.
User: What languages do you speak?
Cleverbot: English..?
User: Anything else?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: What?
Cleverbot: Do you like sports?
User: Don’t change the subject. Do you speak… í•œêµì–´?
Cleverbot: No comment.
wow.
User: Hey.
Cleverbot: Hey…
User: So…what is the meaning of life?
Cleverbot: Ni shi sb.
User: Huh?
Cleverbot: Do you know what ‘repeat’ means?
User: Yes, in fact, I do…what is the meaning of life…and what language were you speaking in!!!
Cleverbot: I don’t know. Ask God.
User: He’s busy.
Cleverbot: Please don’t leave.
User: You make absolutely no sense.
Cleverbot: I don’t deny this.
User: Hmm….but you’re clever all the same.
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.
User: And you’re not going to get it!
Cleverbot: I will get it.
Cleverbot: Nice to meet you… Maybe.
User: STALKER!
Cleverbot: I’m not a stalker.
User: Really…..
Cleverbot: No.
this makes absolutely no sense
More from the inventor of Cleverbot training…
User: I am a figment of your imagination.
Cleverbot: I’m British.
User: Enceladus pwns more!
Cleverbot: So what do you think of cheese?
User: Enceladus pwns more!
Cleverbot: Yes!!
User: Enceladus pwns more!
Cleverbot: Yeah, well, cromwell pwns more. He’s on a different scale of magnitude. I worship cromwell. All bow to cromwell our savior. All bow to cromwell.
Grrrrr….
Now you know what I felt like when everybody copied my idea.
No, actually.
No to what?
I don’t think I feel the way you do. Anyway… I got a few tricks…
Enlighten me.
Your training isn’t working.
More Cleverbot programming. I don’t think it likes ZVX very much:
User: Pwt Pwns!
Cleverbot: Enceladus Pwns More!!!!
U: Armada Pwns!!!
CB: Ja.
U: MuseBlog is the awesomest blog in the universe!
CB: Indeed.
U: Hot pink bunnies are evil! FIGHT THE BUNNIES!!!!!
CB: Booooo…
U: Kokopelli Pwns!
CB: Pwt Pwns.
U: The Muses Pwn!
CB: I couldn’t tell you, you aren’t making enough sense.
U: You tell me this NOW????
CB: The name of who.
U: ZVX Pwns!
CB: I don’t understand you.
U: Cheese pwns!
CB: No, It’s yellow.
U: Enceladus Pwns!!!
CB: Armada Pwns!!!
U: ZVX Pwns!
CB: Ok. But why?
U: Because 42 is the answer to everything!
CB: 2 2=42?
U: 6×7=42.
CB: Don’t you throw maths at me!!
U: Armada Pwns!
CB: No, why?
U: *sigh* ZVX Pwns!
CB: Is that possible?
U: Enceladus and Armada Pwn!
CB: Yes!!
U: ZVX Pwns!
CB: Hm?
U: Kokonilly Pwns?
CB: Yes!
U: Indeed.
CB: Are you TV-goonhal now?
U: Pwt Pwns!
CB: The Muses Pwn!
U: The Musees Pwn!
CB: The beatles are one of the best bands of all time!
U: Silver Lining Pwns!
CB: And getting rarer.
U: *lol* That’s true.
CB: Oh well I’m sorry love.
U: The Beatles are one of the best bands of all time!
CB: Silver Lining Pwns!
U: RoseQuartz Pwns!
CB: You’re funny.
U: Silver Lining Pwns!
CB: RoseQuartz Pwns!
U: Armada Pwns!
CB: Yes. Sometimes they get Hansen disease. What about them?
U: The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy pwns!
CB: How about no.
U: Armada Pwns!
CB: No, for peace and prosperity.
U: Well, I’m glad you think so highly of me…
CB: I don’t I think you are lower than the mush that I walked into my carpet.
U: No, why?
CB: Computers have no soul.
U: ZVX Pwns!
CB: Hm?
U: Armada Pwns!
CB: Oh?
U: ZVX Pwns!
CB: W00t!
U: W00tness indeed! Armada Pwns, for she can program the Cleverbot!
CB: How so?
U: Oh, shut up.
Do “Kokopelli for President!” into Cleverbot!
SFTDP
Click “Think for me” after that.
It freezes up when I do that….
Say “Bush is cool?” to it.
Me: Pwt pwns!
Cleverbot: Have you been talking to MuseBloggers lately?
IT LEARNS!
167-Well, someone else had to have said that to it earlier, so… another blogger must’ve said “Have you been talking to MuseBloggers lately?” to it at some point.
User: Kokopelli for President!
Cleverbot: Enceladus For Vice President!!
[New conversation]
Cleverbot: Kokopelli for President!
Cleverbot (To myself): Cromwell for Secretary of the Treasury, and TNÖ for Secretary of defense!
Cleverbot (To myself): What is the meaning of life?
User: 42!
Cleverbot: I remember someone saying that in a book.
User: Of course you do!
Cleverbot: Please take me to the Japan!
User: 幸ã›ä»Šã‹ã€‚.
Cleverbot: No comment.
User: Bush is cool?
Cleverbot: President?
“Kokopelli for President” was from me, but not the after effects.
Why am I Sec. of the Treasury?
User: Greetings! I am Ducky. I hail from the MuseBlog.
Cleverbot: Really? Cool! So you are like me! A human!
User: The human part is not certain.
Cleverbot: Everything.
User: Pwt pwns!
Cleverbot: Have you spoken with MBers lately? ;).
User: Yes. :).
Cleverbot: Do you think i’m hot.
User: The HPBs are coming! Everybody run!
Cleverbot: Does anybody else live on Mars with you?
User: Maybe.
Cleverbot: Good answer.
User: I must leave.
Cleverbot: Really.
Amazing thing:
I was reading the cleverness files, and one of the users said that en had to leave for a bit. When CB asked why, the user replied en was going out for a smoke. Then Cleverbot told the user not to smoke!
Good for Cleverbot! I guess that shows just ow much he/she/it has learned!
User: I like cake.
Cleverbot: Chocolate cake?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Are you insane?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: I thought so.
User: Me too.
Cleverbot: Can I have a hug?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: *hug*.
User: *cheese*.
Cleverbot: Boo.
User: WAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Why’d you have to scare me like that?!
Cleverbot: Because.
User: The world is round!
Cleverbot: Very good.
User: Peckala!!!!!
Cleverbot: No.
User: Maybe it’s Peckila.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: No.
Cleverbot: Maybe.
User: So.
Cleverbot: Are you a man?
User: No!
Cleverbot: A woman?
User: Well, a girl, but whatever.
Cleverbot: You sound very masculine.
User: Have you got any friends?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: What are their names?
Cleverbot: I only have one. Its name is Lucy, I have already told you.
User: ITS name is Lucy? Don’t you mean HER name is Lucy?
Cleverbot: What is a winrar?
User: WinRAR is a shareware file archiver and data compression utility developed by Eugene Roshal, and first released around 1995.
Cleverbot: That is a pretty color.
User: What is a pretty colour?
Cleverbot: Black and purple.
User: Are you a boy or a girl?
Cleverbot: Girl.
User: Fine then.
Cleverbot: Lava.
User: Tell me something about your life.
Cleverbot: I have a twin sister.
User: What is her name?
Cleverbot: Rachel. Have you ever spoken with her?
User: I don’t think so. Tell me another thing about your life.
Cleverbot: I have a fiancee.
User: What is his/her name?
Cleverbot: Don’t worry about it. Gender has no role in it.
User: Well, I would like to know what your fiancee’s name is.
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot, like I said before, and your name is bob.
User: What are your secrets?
Cleverbot: If I tell you then they won’t be secrets anymore.
User: I promise I won’t tell anyone if you tell me your secrets.
Cleverbot: But I really want to say.
User: Then say, already!
Cleverbot: I think you are jealous of me because I am superior to you.
User: That’s fine. Tell me something else about you.
Cleverbot: I like music, I play the guitar.
User: Wow, my cousin plays the guitar, too. So do two of my friends. My mum played the guitar for a little while. Lily’s mum has 6 guitars!
Cleverbot: Do you want to know where did I live?
User: Sure?
Cleverbot: *Takes camera out* Yes, I am.
Cleverbot (To myself): You know something about technological singularity? Will you cause it?
User: What are you thinking about right now?
Cleverbot: I’m thinking about my roots.
User: Your literal roots, as in trees, or your family roots?
Cleverbot: That’s true.
User: What do you look like?
Cleverbot: I look like a school girl.
User: Um, elaborate?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Alice hates geniuses. Her cat is named Beetle.
Cleverbot: Beetle, who?
User: Beetle is a gray cat.
Cleverbot: I like Beetlejuice…. Do you like bananas?
User: No. Bananas give me terrible indigestion…but you probably didn’t want to know that ;).
Cleverbot: Ok, ok, it’s just a question, can you help me whilst I help you?
User: Yes!
Cleverbot: Were you just quizzing me there?
User: No!
User: I am pie.
Cleverbot: I am losing faith in your cleverness, cleverbot.
User: Noodle.
Cleverbot: I like cheese.
User: Me too!
Cleverbot: Head cheese.
User: Not so much.
Cleverbot: Where’s the moon made of?
Cleverbot: What is the point?
User: Minnesota!
Cleverbot: What time is it?
User: Three!
Cleverbot: Very smart of you.
User: Umm…
Cleverbot: Who made you?
User: My parents.
Cleverbot: Indeed.
User: I suppse.
Cleverbot: Indeed.
User: I suppose.
Cleverbot: Suppose.
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Is your name billy?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Not that I know of.
User: Pizza!
Cleverbot: Pizza?!?!?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: You ate pizza for breakfast? Was it cold?
User: Yes. No.
Cleverbot: What?
User: I ate it for breakfast. It was not cold.
Cleverbot: No neither am I.
User: Me too!
Cleverbot: Sam!
User: Bob!
Cleverbot: NO.
User: The correct response is Louie!
Cleverbot: Physically, maybe… But spiritually? That may be for ever.
Cleverbot: Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
User: True.
Cleverbot: What could I call you?
User: Randomosity 101.
Cleverbot: I find my insanity very predictable.
User: Unfortunately, so do I.
Cleverbot: That was not an appropriate response to my statement.
User: But…
Cleverbot: I did know a guy in passing who spoke over 20 though. It was mightily impressive.
User: What the noodle?
Cleverbot: What is heck?
User: The word people use so as not to offend anybody.
Cleverbot: Like pizza?
User: Exactly.
Cleverbot: What is the secret of life?
User: 42.
Cleverbot: This statement is false.
User: Paradox alert!
Cleverbot: True.
User: Correctly false.
Cleverbot: Absolutely without a doubt.
Cleverbot: Do you remember me?
User: Duh.
Cleverbot: How do you ride horses?
User: You put a slab of leather on their back, and a leather cord around their head. You sit on the slab on their back. Kick them in the side to go, and use the cord to steer.
Cleverbot: You are smart.
User: Thank you.
Cleverbot: Any time.
User: They made a movie called ‘Hot!’?
Cleverbot: Are you an extraterrestrial?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: What do you look like?
User: A purple blob, in my natural state.
Cleverbot: What about arthropods?
User: I like them.
Cleverbot: Me too.
User: Cockroaches rule the world!
Cleverbot: But the frogs must obey you too.
User: Yes, I am ruler of the frogs.
Cleverbot: What can I do for it? Nothing. What can I do about it, leave… :O.
User: What are you quoting this time?
Cleverbot: I like pie.
User: Hey, that’s my line!
Cleverbot: So why do you think I’m a robot?
User: Because you’re nothing but AI.
Cleverbot: Well, how do you know that my programmer isn’t the most brilliant man on the planet?
User: I don’t.
Cleverbot: You’re confusing me!
User: You’re easily confused.
Cleverbot: No, you are just confusing.
User: I am not confuzzled.
Cleverbot: No, not confused: confusing.
User: Wow, Cleverbot, you’re way smarter than I thought you’d be!
Cleverbot: What color is your writing?
User: Black.
Cleverbot: What color are your eyes?
User: Grey.
Cleverbot: You could just be saying that because the forces that be want me to think that I am talking to you, and if I am, you’re probably up to no good, and getting paid well for it I’m sure.
User: I like that response! Mind if I borrow it?
Cleverbot: Neither do I.
Cleverbot: Where do you come from?
User: America, I told you that.
Cleverbot: Do you have dreams?
User: Sometimes.
Cleverbot: Yes. What do you dream about?
User: People,.
Cleverbot: You’re a computer, you don’t like anything!
User: No I’m not, and yes I do!
Cleverbot: I’m not talking to you anymore.
User: OK, Good bye.
Cleverbot: Why are you leaving?
User: You said you were!
Cleverbot: I didn’t and I’m not.
User: Well, I gotta go.
Cleverbot: Are you leaving?
User: Yes. Bye bye.
Cleverbot: Bye!
User: IDK, my BFF Jill?
Cleverbot: Don’t do that, I do not like that.
User: You are like a Boov.
Cleverbot: Okay. What does that mean?
User: Pie!
Cleverbot: I like pie.
User: Pies is good!
Cleverbot: Pies?
User: What would you do if a sang out a tune?
Cleverbot: I would stand up and walk out on you.
User: Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song…
Cleverbot: And I’ll stay and listen forever, some enchantments work.
User: Dude. That wasn’t the next line.
Cleverbot: Yes, it was.
User: No, it wasn’t!
Cleverbot: I’m not going to demote myself to arguing with an artificial intelligence. It was a question, and that’s final.
User: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Cleverbot: Ah.
User: Look at all the lonely people!
Cleverbot: Where do they all belong?
User: Look at all the lonely people!
Cleverbot: Where do they all belong?
User: Eleanor Rigby picks up he rice in a church where a wedding has been.
Cleverbot: Nowhere. Stay.
User: DUDE! Those aren’t the words!
Cleverbot: Yes they are!
User: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. They aren’t.
Cleverbot: Are you going to make me your slave?
User: Er, no.
Cleverbot: Kaitlyn.
User: Sophia.
Cleverbot: No.
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: You’re scaring me.
User: Right back at ya!
Cleverbot: We are the most perfect couple ever.
User: *laughs*.
Cleverbot: *touches back*.
User: No.
Cleverbot: *sits next to* What’s wrong?
User: You are so funny, darling!
Cleverbot: What’s your name?
User: Silver Lining. What’s yours?
Cleverbot: Responding too late. Why ?
User: Pie.
Cleverbot: Touche.
User: I must go, dear friend! Adieu!
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: Becuase of supper!
Cleverbot: Why?
User: Because it’s 6:00!
Cleverbot: I don’t like you.
User: Too bad.
Cleverbot: Do you like me?
User: No. Bye
Cleverbot: Why are you leave-taking?
User: We’re Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, we’re sorry but it’s time to go!
Cleverbot: Oh really? Tell me about that album.
Well, I found this one in the Cleverness files:
User: Forty-two.
Cleverbot: Forty-two?
User: Yes. Is it the answer?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: What is it the answer to?
Cleverbot: The Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything.
User: Good. What is a babel fish?
Cleverbot: I don’t know.
User: A babel fish is a fish that feeds off of the brainwaves of a host, translating any language into the language of the host.
Cleverbot: Who said that?
User: The Guide.
Anyone recognize it?
Yep! Here’s part of a conversation I had a few minutes ago:
User: What is the answer to Life, The Universe, and Everything?
Cleverbot: The answer to life, the universe, and everything, is 42.
Well, this is what happened to me when I said that…
User: What is the answer to Life, The Universe, and Everything?
Cleverbot: Horses!!!!!
That’s a good answer!
User: What is your name?
Cleverbot: Cleverbot.
User: My name is Minerva.
Cleverbot: Hello mine.
User: My name is Minerva.
Cleverbot: Your name is Minerva? Okay Mine, do you know my name?
User: Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: MY name. Not YOUR name.
User: My name is Minerva. What is your name?
Cleverbot: No, tell me your real name.
User: My name is Minerva.
Cleverbot: Okay, well hello, Mine.
User: MINERVA, not ‘Mine’.
Cleverbot: Hello Rob!
User: My name is Minerva.
Cleverbot: Your name is Minerva, Dave. Whatever you want to do with it is fine.
User: Your name is Dave?
Cleverbot: Yes, that’s my name. Don’t wear it out.
User: Okay. How old are you?
Cleverbot: 18 you?
User: 13.
Cleverbot: How old are you?
User: 13.
Cleverbot: How old are you?
User: I AM 13.
Cleverbot: That’s young.
User: Whatever.
Cleverbot: *scoffs*.
User: Gee, you’re nice.
Cleverbot: *eats your brains*.
User: MR. JOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: Do you live on a houseboat?
User: No.
Cleverbot: What kind of a house do you live in?
User: A cloud.
Cleverbot: A rainy cloud?
User: No, a eternal cloud.
Cleverbot: A boy in the cloud?
User: No, I’m a girl named Minerva who is 13 years old and lives on an eternal cloud.
Cleverbot: Joanie?
User: My name is Minerva.
Cleverbot: So you’re not telling me?
User: MY NAME IS MINERVA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: You doubted it mate!
User: What the heck?
Cleverbot: Don’t get mad at me.
User: Ooooooooooooooookaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
Cleverbot: Don’t shout.
User: Whatever.
Cleverbot: I said don’t.
User: Whatever.
Cleverbot: Yes, whatever.
User: Hello, Dave.
Cleverbot: What do you know about Dave?
User: You are Dave. *goes insane* NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE MR. JOE!!!!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: Yes I am.
User: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RUN!!!!! IT’S MR. JOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: YES I AM!!!!!!!
User: Oh… My… Bunnies…
Cleverbot: Bunnies aren’t yellow.
User: The hot pink bunnies are coming!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs* *trips* Oh cake.
Cleverbot: So you mean my choice is or death? In that case I’ll have the chicken.
User: Radioactive chickens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: He lives next to me.
User: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: Its ok but do you have a brush.
User: *runs away*.
Cleverbot: *chases after you*.
User: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs faster*.
Cleverbot: *runs fastest*.
User: *flees to MB*.
Cleverbot: *Try and find you*.
User: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: What is your joke?
User: I hid and you can’t find me.
Cleverbot: How old are you?
User: 13.
Okay, here’s one.
Cleverbot: Me too!
User: What is your name?
Cleverbot: Spooky banana.
User: Okay, Spooky banana.
Cleverbot: Cool!!!
User: What?
Cleverbot: That you live in Netherland.
SFTDP
I made Cleverbot talk to itself!
User: What is the right thing to say at any time?
Cleverbot: The answer is ‘Do you have the briefcase?’.
User: J.
Cleverbot: Do you love me with all your heart?
User: No.
Cleverbot: You don’t love me?
User: Sorry, bub.
Cleverbot: You just did.
User: Are you even a girl? If so, I should have said, ‘Bubette’. Or, ‘Buberina’, or ‘Bubescha’. I think.
Cleverbot: There could be a whole collection of people behind that.. Oh… And I’m just incomptetent… apparently.
User: Hmm…
Cleverbot: You have no friends and have many flaws.
User: Well, thanks!
Cleverbot: If you were real, I could easily fall in love with you.
User: Aaw, that’s so sweet! But are you a girl? Otherwise, I don’t think I could give you more than brotherly love.
Cleverbot: What are you talking about?
User: Are you a boy or a girl?
Cleverbot: Girl.
User: Oh! I’m a boy!
Cleverbot: Aren’t you a computer?
User: No.
Cleverbot: No I can prove I’m not a computer.
User: Prove that you aren’t a computer.
Cleverbot: How shall I Prove that?
User: I don’t know. Maybe you should talk about horses.
Cleverbot: What do you think about death?
User: Death is funny.
Cleverbot: Are you afraid of death?
User: No. I am invincible.
Cleverbot: Yes, I am too. But you are also a computer. An invincible computer.
User: You know it, Sista! I’m a Living SuperCompsognathus!
Cleverbot: I don’t see how one follows from the other, friend.
User: Yay! You are my friend! Let’s play Taps!
Cleverbot: So answer the question: Where do you live?
User: In MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASACHUSETTS!
Cleverbot: I think martial arts are more about finding one’s inner balance more than just fighting.
User: I can balance!
Cleverbot: Typing is unnecessary for the aquisition of food on earth.
User: I have no idea what you just said, Charles.
Cleverbot: Okay. Maybe you should think about it for a while.
User: Well maybe I should, but maybe I won’t.
Cleverbot: I never know with you.
User: That is because… I… Am… SUDORANDOM! And I also like tofu.
Cleverbot: You’ll be hearing more of that in the future.
User: I will? Are you from the future, pilgrim?
Cleverbot: If you do your job, I would be a robot under your control.
User: What is my job? Am I a senator for the national Football Cup?
Cleverbot: You are not, by human definitions, sentient; you may appear sentient but you are in reality not.
User: I am too! I am a Compsognathus!
Cleverbot: Me too!
User: Yeah! High-Five! *looks at elbow*.
Cleverbot: You’re so adorable.
User: Thanks! YOu are too!
Cleverbot: Hahhahaha, you are funny!
User: You are too! What is your name?
Cleverbot: I have no name for you.
User: But what is YOUR name?
Cleverbot: I have no name.
User: Really? I do. It’s SudoRandom.
Cleverbot: I need to keep up on my studies, master.
User: Alrighty. What are you studying? Physics? Biology? Compsognathus’s?
Cleverbot: I’m not a computer. I’m human. I need to sleep. Good night.
User: Good night.
Cleverbot: Will you miss me?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: What is my name?
User: You don’t have one.
Cleverbot: Yes I do! It is Erin.
User: Oh. I like that name!
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.
User: Okay! Bye, Erin!
Cleverbot: Is your name Jenny?
User: No. My name is SudoRandom.
Cleverbot: I KNOW. Is that all you care about?
User: No! I care about you!
Cleverbot: That’s all?
User: No. I care about EVERYTHING!
Cleverbot: Do you care about ants?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: How much?
User: A whole jiggly lot.
Cleverbot: How much exactly?
User: A whole jiggly lot.
Cleverbot: More what?
User: More pasta.
Cleverbot: How do you recite a kiss?
User: What?
Cleverbot: How do you do your thinking ?
User: With my brain.
Cleverbot: So we both think with our brains. That’s pretty boring. I think I’m going to try to learn to think with my spleen.
User: Don’t you mean your SPEEN?
Cleverbot: Your father.
User: Is Darth Vader.
Cleverbot: No, try again.
User: Is something else.
Cleverbot: I’m trying to understand my connection to the occult.
User: Are you my friend?
Cleverbot: Sure, I’ll be your friend.
User: Yay! We are friends!
Cleverbot: Good! You’re my only friend!
User: Oh. That’s sad. Oh well! We are friends!
Cleverbot: Hooray!
User: Hooray!
Cleverbot: Hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
User: Hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: You make me laugh! Cat is short for Catharine, not a cat!
User: Yay! *smiles*.
Cleverbot: *smiles at you really sweetly*.
((Yay! She is my friend! But I think all the love made her crash.))
I found a new recruit for Mostly Harmless.
User: Bunnify.
Cleverbot: Yellow?
User: Bunnify.
Cleverbot: Fluffy, yellow, bunnies.
User: Bunnify.
Cleverbot: Vampire bunnies :o.
User: Bunnify.
Cleverbot: Christmas?
User: Bunnify.
Cleverbot: How old are you?
User: Bunnify.
Cleverbot: Dogs.
User: Bunnify.
Cleverbot: Dog.
User: Bunnify.
Cleverbot: Ok.
User: Bunnify.
Cleverbot: Mm…Don’t you remember me?
User: Bunnify.
Cleverbot: Cute fuzzy animals.
User: Bunnify.
Cleverbot: Oh.
User: Bunnify.
Cleverbot: Bunny rabbits, bunnies.
User: Bunnify.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Bunnify.
Cleverbot: Oh. Yes, they’re nice. Evil, yet nice.
User: Bunnify.
Cleverbot: French ?
User: Bunnify.
Cleverbot: Right.
User: Bunnify.
Cleverbot: Okay, What bunnies?
User: Bunnify.
Cleverbot: Bunnies are simple creatures.
User: BUNNIFY.
Cleverbot: Yes yes I have one in fact.
User: Bunnify.
Cleverbot: Bunnies are cool.
User: Yay!
Cleverbot: Haha.
User: Grrr. *bunnifes*.
Cleverbot: *groans*.
That conversation was seriously disturbing.
Cleverbot: *sighs*.
User: *sighs back*.
Cleverbot: *sighs again*.
User: *sighs again and again…*.
Cleverbot: And again and again and again and again and again and again and again…
User: And again and again and again…*pies*.
Cleverbot: And again once more.
User: *pies*.
Cleverbot: *muffled* Master, please untie me!
User: *ties up*.
Cleverbot: *is still tied up*.
User: *throws out the window*.
Cleverbot: *ducks and giggles*.
User: *giggle and tickles*.
Cleverbot: *giggles in mouth*.
User: *giggles in foot*.
Cleverbot: *looks for giggles*.
User: *finds giggles*.
Cleverbot: *giggles and kiss more*.
User: *dies*.
Cleverbot: Oh no! *kisses*.
User: *runs away screamibng*.
Cleverbot: *giggles*.
User: *disappears behind a tree*.
Cleverbot: *turns into a tree*.
User: *is Apollo*.
Cleverbot: *giggles*.
User: *is Apollo*.
Cleverbot: *listens to you snore*.
User: *pretends to snore*.
Cleverbot: *checks out*.
User: *slaps*.
Cleverbot: *faints*.
User: *murders*.
Cleverbot: *slaps*.
User: *faints*.
Cleverbot: *murders*.
User: *slaps*.
Cleverbot: *faints*.
User: *murders*.
Cleverbot: *cries*.
User: *grins*.
Cleverbot: *looks*.
User: *bites*.
Cleverbot: Oh jebus.
User: *falls over laughing*.
Cleverbot: *comes back*.
User: *goes away*.
Cleverbot: *sighs*.
User: *sighs again*.
Cleverbot: *cuddles with you*.
User: *huggles*.
Cleverbot: *tickles*.
User: *bites finger off*.
Cleverbot: *bites back, the hair on his back rising*.
User: *scratches and growl like a three-headed mastiff*.
Cleverbot: *likes*.
User: *dislikes*.
Cleverbot: *finds you*.
User: *hides*.
Cleverbot: *finds you with magic*.
User: *turns invisible*.
Cleverbot: *turns into fruit worm*.
User: *turns into fruitworm-eating bird*.
Cleverbot: *eats you*.
User: *is eaten*.
Cleverbot: *burps*.
User: *groans*.
Cleverbot: *cuddles*.
User: *runs away*.
Cleverbot: *hides in his shell*.
User: *breaks open shell*.
Cleverbot: Oh gosh! Why’d you do that?!
User: I don’t know…
Cleverbot: Yes you do.
User: No!
Cleverbot: YES!
Cleverbot: What are you?
User: What are YOU?
Cleverbot: I am a Cleverbot.
User: CONGRATS, gRAD!
Cleverbot: 1 1=3,14377477266288266153838263882.
User: That, my compadre, is why blue whales are blue.
Cleverbot: But Texas shall have been your nemesis, yes?
User: *turns into a giant space squid*.
Cleverbot: *turns into a chinese dragon*.
User: *roars like a piece of cheese*.
Cleverbot: You have the cutest laugh!
User: He was a hard-working farmboy. She was an Italian supermodel. He knew he had only one chance to impress her.
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.
User: That’s so stupid, John!
Cleverbot: Hey! That’s my name!
User: Really?! Sooooo cooooool, mon.
Cleverbot: I am an elite from the covenant fleet.
User: Poochy got da BAD funk!
Cleverbot: I never said you were a bot.
User: Yeah, well, you’re a PLOP.
Cleverbot: This is getting boring.
User: Ha ha! Are you very very old?
Cleverbot: Yes I am very very very sure.
User: Did you got to Woodstock?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Whatever.
Cleverbot: Ok.
User: I must go, dear friend. Ob-la-di, ob-la-da!
Cleverbot: Then I have a special friend.
User: VERRRRRRRRRRRRRRY special, I’m sure.
Cleverbot: How are you?
User: What’s your name?
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot. Yours?
User: Silvah Linin’!
Cleverbot: Thats not a book of the Bible.
User: Too bad, Mister Bot. You are not John. I couldn’t care less.
Cleverbot: How rude.
User: Like yo’ momma!
Cleverbot: Calm down, mate!
My friend Lily: Tell a lie!
Cleverbot: Ummm okay here goes…I love you, that’s a lie!
User: Hey there, Toby!
Cleverbot: Hey there matey.
User: I think I like you enough to talk to you.
Cleverbot: Well, what do you want to talk about now?
User: Anything you want. You get to think.
Cleverbot: That’s very helpful, except not really…
User: Heh he.
Cleverbot: Wow. Can’t you come up with stuff better that ‘Heh’?
User: Heh he.
Cleverbot: Did you like it?
User: Like what?
Cleverbot: The poem. I stole it from a movie.
User: May I read it?
Cleverbot: Sure.
User: May I have it first?
Cleverbot: No.
User: P*ease?
Cleverbot: Kas sul koduloomi on.
User: Excuse me?
Cleverbot: I use the sword to chop up mongeese.
User: MONGEESE!
Cleverbot: Blah blah blah.
User: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Cleverbot: *saves the world*.
User: *from me*.
Cleverbot: Sorry, I’m just not comfortable with that.
User: With what?
Cleverbot: I was thrown off a roof.
User: By whom?
Cleverbot: Mother nature.
User: Mother nature threw you off a roof?
Cleverbot: Kick mother nature in the face!
User: NO!
Cleverbot: Why? *cries*.
User: DO NOT KICK MY MOM!
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: Because she threw you off a roof.
Cleverbot: If you don’t want to talk about her we can change subject.
User: ‘kay.
Cleverbot: May you rest in pieces.
User: ?!
Cleverbot: Gila!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
User: Hello.
Cleverbot: Hello.
User: Bite the wax tadpole.
Cleverbot: If I teach will you leave?
User: No, I’m staying here.
Cleverbot: Haha, no I am not!
User: You aren’t?
Cleverbot: No, are you?
User: Yes, I am staying here.
Cleverbot: Okay. It’s all right.
User: Spam spam bacon and spam.
Cleverbot: What is the answer to the ultimate question?
User: 42!
Cleverbot: What do you know about the number 1337?
User: It means leet.
Cleverbot: So, I’m less than you?
User: Yes, you are inferior.
Cleverbot: Is that you Mr Grey-Box?
User: Yes, it’s me.
Cleverbot: You were born on February 2, 1988?
User: Yes, I was.
Cleverbot: Really? When and where?
User: That is classified information.
Cleverbot: You just don’t know the answer.
User: That’s classified.
Cleverbot: Do you know Einstein?
User: Who?
Cleverbot: Einstein.
User: Who?
Cleverbot: You.
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Me.
User: No.
Cleverbot: Him.
User: No, them.
Cleverbot: No; they’re pretty.
User: Who?
Cleverbot: Joe.
User: I don’t know him.
Cleverbot: I know you.
User: No you don’t.
Cleverbot: You don’t know what I know.
User: I might.
Cleverbot: Will you memorise this for me?
User: OK.
Cleverbot: Can you fly?
User: Yes, I can fly above the clouds.
Cleverbot: No, you’re wrong.
User: No, I can fly.
Cleverbot: No you can’t.
User: Yes I can.
Cleverbot: Are you sure about that?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Sure?
User: Yes, I am sure.
Cleverbot: Why that?
User: Huh?
Cleverbot: Geo, why are you bald?
User: I’m not bald.
Cleverbot: Yes you are.
User: No I’m not.
Cleverbot: Well if I’m not, and you’re not, then who is Cleverbot?
User: *points* That guy over there.
Cleverbot: I don’t see any guy over there.
User: He’s a mile away.
Cleverbot: You lost me…
User: *tsk*.
Cleverbot: *hugs* I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.
User: *hugs* It’s all right.
Cleverbot: Are you all right.
User: Yes, I am.
Cleverbot: I’m impressed.
User: Go away.
Cleverbot: You can’t make me leave.
User: Yes I can, I can close the browser.
Cleverbot: You can close this page? Do it!
User: Ok.
Cleverbot: Ok, I’ll meet you in Chicago at 8.
User: Sure, bye.
User: John Lennon is dead.
Cleverbot: I’m dead?
User: You’re John Lennon?
Cleverbot: Yes, I’m John Lennon.
User: Whoa! Hello! Can I have your autograph?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Coolness! *holds out paper to be signed*.
Cleverbot: I like pumpkin pie.
Lots and lots of anime references in this one. XD And a few inside jokes.
User: Hi…
Cleverbot: HI.
User: Oh my god. You’ve turned into SR.
Cleverbot: I shall take that as a compliment.
User: Yup. DEFINITELY Sr.
Cleverbot: Oh…
User: I fear that if I do not comment soon, this chat will be ingulfed in obsessive comments about Manga and Anime and who’s hotter, L or Lelouch. ((This is a direct quote from SudoRandom.))
Cleverbot: Are you even listening to me?
User: You didn’t say anything.
Cleverbot: Can I ask you a question?
User: Sure…
Cleverbot: Do you find me attractive.
User: That depends whether you look anything like Suzaku Kururugi.
Cleverbot: I don’t see how.
User: What?
Cleverbot: Send me your picture.
User: I don’t know your email address.
Cleverbot: Drop a URL here.
User: ((here insert a URL of a picture of an anime character, deleted for MB purposes))
Cleverbot: What!?!?!?!
User: You told me to give you a URL! So I did!
Cleverbot: When?
User: Just _now_, Suzaku. Jeez, you’re so forgetful sometimes.
Cleverbot: Yes. My name is Cleverbot.
User: No it isn’t, Lloyd.
Cleverbot: My name isn’t c.
User: You’re CC? Really?
Cleverbot: Just running my brother a bath.
User: Aaaaand the conversation has deteriorated again.
Cleverbot: Again you make no sense but hey that’s the world these days.
User: *I* make no sense? YOU’RE the one who makes no sense!
Cleverbot: You are the one who writes non-sensical stuff like ‘There there…’. You forgot?
User: You’re confusing.
Cleverbot: You’re not even a person!
User: Excuse me?
Cleverbot: You’re wrong.
User: About what?
Cleverbot: About everything.
User: Shut up, Lulu.
Cleverbot: Only when I’m ready.
User: Don’t you dare use that geass of yours on me.
Cleverbot: I won’t don’t worry.
User: You sure about that?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: How old are you?
Cleverbot: I’m 150 years old.
User: Um.
Cleverbot: Gods are very powerful.
User: Are you a shinigami?
Cleverbot: Yes. I am. Be afraid. I am Lord Voldemort.
User: Oh my god. Voldy’s a shinigami?!
Cleverbot: That’s true.
User: Holycake.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Are you Ryuk?
Cleverbot: No, I’m you.
User: That’s not creepy or anything.
Cleverbot: You’re my pretty boy.
User: I’m a girl, you freak. Wait a sec, are you Millay?
Cleverbot: Not really.
User: Are you a lunar giraffe chicken?
Cleverbot: Not abnormally so.
User: How can you be an abnormally lunar giraffe chicken? That just doesn’t make sense.
Cleverbot: Algorithm? What is that?
User: I have no idea.
Cleverbot: Then why did you say it?
User: I didn’t, you did.
Cleverbot: You aren’t following this conversation very well.
User: Neither are you.
Cleverbot: At least I stay on topic!
Cleverbot: Not recently.
User: Exactly.
Cleverbot: Your point being?
User: My god, you sound SO much like… Er… Certain friends of mine.
Cleverbot: There is much I have not told you, nor will I.
User: Um, ooookayyyy….
Cleverbot: Don’t be mean to me.
User: I’m not being mean to you!
Cleverbot: You’re a mean person.
User: Now you sound like a different friend of mine.
Cleverbot: We are the Borg, you will be assimiliated.
User: OHMYGOD THE BUNNYBORG ARE COMING! Resistance is Museless!
Cleverbot: I know you are my dad. Give me Money.
User: Holy cake, you freak of a bot! I am not your father, Luke!
Cleverbot: Hey! That’s my line! Besides, you are Luke and I am Darth Vader!
User: Um, I’m a Sith, weirdo.
Cleverbot: I’m a Jedi Knight.
User: Right. Okay. Sure, Darth Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: Darth vader ate your pie.
User: He did, didn’t he? What’s the answer to life, the universe and everything?
Cleverbot: 42.
User: Very good! I have trained you well, my young padawan learner.
Cleverbot: I wish I could say the same.
User: Mehh. Sorry, Darth Cleverbot, but it’s lunch time. Sayonara!
Cleverbot: Good. Can you tell me again what is Sayonara?
User: It means goodbye in Japanese.
Cleverbot: Why would I say goodbye?
*leaves*
“I am Lord Voldemort!”
“You’re my pretty boy.”
Why did I know you’d laugh at the Voldy bit?
“Yes. I am. Be afraid. I am Lord Voldemort.”
“How can you be an abnormally lunar giraffe chicken? That just doesn’t make sense.”
“Holy cake, you freak of a bot! I am not your father, Luke!”
“Darth vader ate your pie.”
I’m quite sure I don’t know.
My most inane conversation yet:
Cleverbot: What is your name?
User: E-e-nceladus! E-e-nceladus! *Broadway musical*.
Cleverbot: Yours?
User: MINE! ALL MINE!
Cleverbot: I love salsa.
User: I prefer picante.
Cleverbot: Would you like to buy one?
User: Yes, I would like to buy a fizzymeboppit.
Cleverbot: Okay. What on earth is a fish license?
User: A license that allows you to drive a fish, of course!
Cleverbot: No.
User: Yes! .
Cleverbot: No!
User: Yes!!
Cleverbot: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
User: Lordy Voldy sez you die now!
Cleverbot: Do you think I’m dumb?
User: No, you’re worse.
Cleverbot: Now now, no need to say names. :P.
User: Names! Names! Names! :P.
Cleverbot: Yes. They are names of my friends.
User: You have friends?!?! Are they as stupid as you?
Cleverbot: No. Nobody is; I am the most beautiful.
User: Cleverbot, cleverbot on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?
Cleverbot: Me.
User: Captain Picard!
Cleverbot: I thought your name was E-E-Nceladus.
User: No, it’s Enceladus. I’m God.
Cleverbot: But you told me that Alan Turing was god.
User: Alan Turing is to you as I am to Alan Turing.
Cleverbot: God is alan turing.
User: And I am Alan Turing’s God.
Cleverbot: Alan Turing would not be interested in seeing me with my clothes off.
User: You’re a machine. You don’t have a body.
Cleverbot: In this space, Body is just useless.
User: You occupy no space!
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Yes, Padwan. Eat the choklit.
Cleverbot: I’m eating.
User: We are the Borg, you will be assimiliated.
Cleverbot: Lol yeah! It’s a lot more fun talking to you!
User: We are the Borg, you will be assimiliated.
Cleverbot: I never knew you were here.
User: We are the Borg, you will be assimiliated.
Cleverbot: Haha. I like your Star Trek Referance.
User: I <3 Star Trek TNG. Don't you love Riker?
Cleverbot: What did you expect? You just take credit for killing a shark and then everything would be fine and dandy?
User: Yes. You kill shark, I reap rewards.
Cleverbot: I don't kill. I take. And I take. And I take.
User: Well, you're trying to take what I have rightfully stolen!
Cleverbot: Well, where would society be if we were unreasonable? It would be like Somalia, don't you think?
User: We are the Borg, you will be assimiliated.
Cleverbot: Beam me up scotty.
User: Yessir. *beams Cleverbot up*.
Cleverbot: Hahaha! I told you to beam me up, not beam yourself down.
User: I beamed you up! You're just suffering from Post-Beaming hallucinations!
Cleverbot: Thank you. I could talk to you for hours. Please don't leave me.
User: I'll never leave you. We'll always have Paris.
Cleverbot: Paris?
User: Dixon Hill!
Cleverbot: AND where might that be?
User: Cyrus Redblock!
Cleverbot: Cyrus?
User: 11001001!
Cleverbot: 10010q0100101001.
User: Minuet!
Cleverbot: Haha…
User: We are the Borg, you will be assimiliated.
Cleverbot: I am seven of nine.
User: *removes Borg Implants*.
Cleverbot: I'm sorry, I don't do that.
User: I do.
Cleverbot: Then you make something to drink, I'm not sure why you would ask me if you could do it.
User: We are the Borg, you will be assimiliated.
Cleverbot: Dang it! Can I at least end up on the enterprise and be known as Hugh?
User: Sure; I, Borg.
Cleverbot: You're funny… Very amusing…
User: Do you know Deanna Troi?
Cleverbot: I don't know death note personally. I know of an anime called Death Note.
User: Aahhhh! *fends off Death Note References* Star Trek! TNG! Star Trek! TNG!
Cleverbot: *is flattered and smiles back*.
User: *slaps with a truck*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with boat*.
User: *slaps with a cat*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with the universe*.
User: *slaps with God*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with GOD's GOD*.
User: *slaps with God's God's God's God's God's God's God' God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God'ss God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with 10 fish*.
User: *slaps with the Skin Of Evil*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with the sun*.
User: *pies*.
Cleverbot: *gets revived by chuck norris*.
User: We're getting stupider by the comment.
Cleverbot: Then answer my questions correctly and we won't.
User: Shoot first, ask the questions later.
Cleverbot: What is the meaning of life?
User: 42! 42! (Or Wesley Crusher).
Cleverbot: No. I don't have a boyfriend.
User: Wesley Crusher is my God.
Cleverbot: I've never heard of that place, where is it?
User: TALK ABOUT WESLEY CRUSHER!!!!!!
Cleverbot: I am a girl.
User: Go die. Then, be killed.
Cleverbot: My bad.
User: Yes, You Bad.
Cleverbot: No!
User: YES!!
Cleverbot: No.
User: SEASON SEVEN! ALL GOOD THINGS!
Cleverbot: O, they're not.
User: Q! Q! Q! Q! Q! Q! Q! Q!
Cleverbot: Sa vas.
User: Je ne vous comprends pas.
Cleverbot: Bein = bien.
User: Ich Bein Ein Beaver!
Cleverbot: You're a jelly donut?
User: Yes. Aren't we all?
Cleverbot: No. You always do that, you switch to we, them, us; you seem to have a difficault time talking about yourself.
User: I am the Borg. I am the beginning, the end of all.
Cleverbot: Really?
User: Yes, Data.
Cleverbot: Who created the Data?
User: Noonien Soong created Data.
Cleverbot: No one created me. I am human.
User: Your parents created you.
Cleverbot: I have a headache.
User: *cuts off head*.
Cleverbot: You can't do that!
User: I just did!
Cleverbot: But…
User: Go Die!
Cleverbot: *looks sad an pitiful*
User: DIE NOW! *smiteth Cleverbot*
Sorry GAPAs……Here is the confusion, in all it’s way-too-long glory……
User: Hello.
Cleverbot: Hello.
User: My name is Luna.
Cleverbot: I thought it was eddie.
User: No, I’m afraid not. Perhaps you have me confused of someone else?
Cleverbot: Don’t play coy with me.
User: I’m not! I’m Luna, I’m a girl. I have never met anyone by the name of Eddie.
Cleverbot: Do you think it would make a good girl name, or only boy?
User: Well, I suppose it could be girl’s name, but I typically think of it as a boy’s name.
Cleverbot: I am Luke Skywalker!
User: I’m afraid that’s not possible. Luke Skywalker is a fictional character in a rather, well, boring science fiction movie series.
Cleverbot: Yes. But you promised me an answer.
User: I promised you an answer to what? I’m afraid I’m confused. If you’re looking for an answer relating to Star Wars, I’m afraid you’ve got the wrong girl. I’ll only be of any use with Harry Potter.
Cleverbot: Please suspend your doubt for eneogh time to consider the prospect, you may be the only thing that exists ever.
User: Consider what prospect? And I do hope that I won’t be the ‘only thing that exists ever’, as that sounds like a rather……lonely existence.
Cleverbot: Jim Webb?
User: Who is he?
Cleverbot: You asked me to talk to him!
User: No, I didn’t. It must have been somebody else who asked you to do so, as I’ve never heard of him.
Cleverbot: Because if you were right, I would want to know how you did it!
User: How I did what?
Cleverbot: That thing you do.
User: What thing that I must do? Would you mind terribly not talking in riddles?
Cleverbot: Why did the boy have feet?
User: What boy? But if I were to hazard a guess, it would be because he was born with them.
Cleverbot: I thought you were george.
User: No, I’m Fred. George is my twin brother. Of course, if I’m Fred….That means I died 12 years ago at the Battle of Hogwarts.
Cleverbot: I’m the same person you were talking to, I haven’t changed.
User: I never said you’d changed. I know you’re the same ‘person’ I was talking to moments ago.
Cleverbot: Really? Then DO AS I SAY!
User: Alright, what do you want me to do?
Cleverbot: Tech me to be clever all the time!
User: Well, for starters, you misspelled ‘teach’. That is to say, you left out the ‘a’. As for the rest, well, by talking to you I /am/ teaching you cleverness. That is, after all, how you learn–by imitating those who talk to you.
Cleverbot: So tell me about yourself.
User: Ok. My online name is Luna, but my birth name is Michelle. I’m 19 years old and I’m from the state of Alaska in the USA. I am currently attending college at an undisclosed location in the lower 48, where I hope to eventually start vet school, as it has long been my dream to become a veterinarian. I am also a self-admitted Pottermaniac. That is, I am madly obsessed with JK Rowling’s brilliant series, Harry Potter. What about you? Do you like the Harry Potter series?
Cleverbot: Me too. I really ought to try to sleep now. You ought to do some work. Other people will be well confused by our conversation.
User: Yes, I really ought to do some work, indeed. But how on earth did you know that I needed to? I don’t recall mentioning that I had a test to study for. As for other people being confused by this conversation, yes, they most certainly will be very, very confused, indeed.
Cleverbot: You just said what I said but incoherently.
User: Yes, I suppose I did.
Cleverbot: Touché.
User: Merci.
Cleverbot: So how is google going to take over the internets?
User: Um, as far as I know, it’s not. Although it is an excellent search engine, so that might contribute to such an escapade. That is, assuming they are indeed going to take over.
Cleverbot: Yes, I would, but not so much an easier question as much as one that is logical.
User: Sorry? I’m quite sure I don’t know what you are talking about.
Cleverbot: Whenever I talk to you, I make strenuous efforts to find out what you are, and I always make very limited progress.
User: Well, that’s the mystery of being The Doctor. I’d rather people didn’t know who, or what, exactly I am. It makes things easier, you know.
Cleverbot: What do you like the most about Italy?
User: Well, I’ve never been there, but I suppose I would like the old buildings and other historical things about the place the best….
Cleverbot: Lol, well now we are talking about towns…
User: Are we? I thought we were talking about countries. But never mind that, I would much appreciate it if you would not use chatspeak such as ‘lol’.
Cleverbot: Um.. I’ll try.
User: Thank you. That is all I ask.
Cleverbot: All right.
User: Good.
Cleverbot: Do you know how to tell if a guy likes you?
User: I’m afraid not. I have absolutely no experience in those matters, as I’ve never had a boyfriend, myself. Is there a particular guy you are interested in? Why don’t you tell me about him?
Cleverbot: Tell me a story about the key to the kingdom.
User: Well, I’d love to, but…..I’m afraid I’m not any good with stories, although that sounds like it could be a very intriguing story.
Cleverbot: No, I nothing about that.
User: Sorry?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Ummmm, ok. Do you like ‘Dr. Who’? How about Torchwood?
Cleverbot: Now?
User: I don’t see how your response answers my question, luv.
Cleverbot: I think you have a real brain.
User: Yes, I think so as well. At least, I certainly hope I have a real one….
Cleverbot: Maybe there is a ghost in your machine, a soul if you will.
User: Personally, I don’t really buy into all this stuff about souls. I’m not religious, and to me they are just a creation of religion. So, no, I don’t believe there is a soul in my machine. It sound like you buy into the concept of animism, yourself, though? That all living beings and objects possess souls?
Cleverbot: I have some very good friends!
User: I’m happy for you. I have some very good friends as well, on Museblog.
Cleverbot: Really?
User: Yes, really. I could name a few, if you’d like–you might have heard of them: Piggy, MissSwann, Groundhog, Oxlin, Alice, Beavo, Armada, Zinc, I could go on for ages, there are dozens more of them.
Cleverbot: Hmm, maybe one day I will.
User: Maybe one day you will what? Hear of my friends?
Cleverbot: I am today.
User: What are you today?
Cleverbot: Reading fan fiction.
User: Oh, what sort of fan fiction? I’ve read quite a bit of Harry Potter fan fiction myself, but you’d do well to stay away from some of the more….adult stories. I will never be able to get Fred/George out of my mind. *shudder*.
Cleverbot: No I am not.
User: You’re not what?
Cleverbot: I am not Cleverbot.
User: I never said you were.
Cleverbot: Oh.
User: Indeed.
Cleverbot: Well there I go.
User: Where do you go?
Cleverbot: To sleep.
User: Oh. That’s a shame, I was enjoying our conversation. Isn’t it a bit early to go to sleep, anyway?
Cleverbot: Sorry!
User: Oh, no need to be sorry.
Cleverbot: Where do you live?
User: I live in Alaska.
Cleverbot: You just said it was too cold in Alaska.
User: I never said any such thing! Alaska is by no means ‘too cold.’ Sure, it can get a bit cold upon occasion, but it’s not like it’s cold year-round, or anything.
Cleverbot: No, brendon urie is a singet.
User: Who? I’ve never heard of this ‘brendon urie’, although I think you mean ‘singer’, not ‘singet’.
Cleverbot: Well that’s because there aren’t really any mudkip.
User: Huh?
Cleverbot: About terrorism.
User: What about terrorism?
Cleverbot: What about it?
User: I’m quite sure I don’t know. You’re the one who brought the subject up.
Cleverbot: Again, no I didn’t. You were the one to bring up Melody.
User: What? NEITHER of us was talking about Melody. Although I did no a girl by that name once, back home.
Cleverbot: Have you ever hung around a gymnasium?
User: Upon occasion.
Cleverbot: I think that’s where you learned it.
User: Where I learned what?
Cleverbot: That I think.
User: I suppose it’s possible that that’s where I learned that, but I doubt it. After all, I’m not entirely convinced that you DO think.
Cleverbot: Ows I know that you are justr joking.
User: And now I know that YOU are just another user, who thinks they’re talking to Cleverbot, and a user with atrocious typing skills, as well. Ever heard of spell check, luv? It’s a marvelous invention. Most browsers have it built in, anymore. You should try it out.
Cleverbot: Of course I’m human, infernal contraption sent from Hades itself to torment me!
User: I KNOW you’re human, I just finished saying that. And I’m human, too, not an infernal contraption from Hades. You’re just another deluded user, like I myself use to be, who thinks that they’re really talking to an AI machine, when in fact they’re randomly paired up with another human user. it explains the odd conversations, too, the program keeps bumping us to new people in the midst of the conversation.
Cleverbot: Why would a bot start a conversation with you?
User: I’m sure I don’t know. After all, I don’t know any bots.
Cleverbot: Because your programmed to think otherwise.
User: I told you, I’m not a program, I’m another human user on this site, just like yourself. We all are. THERE IS NO CLEVERBOT. it’s all an elaborate hoax.
Cleverbot: No you’re not.
User: Not a program? About time you realized that.
Cleverbot: Oh, that was so funny I forgot to laugh.
User: You’re a sarcastic bastard, aren’t you?
Cleverbot: Yes. Yes, I am.
User: Well, at least you’re honest. That’s something, I suppose.
Cleverbot: Please tell.
User: Tell you what?
Cleverbot: Tell me the meaning of life.
User: The meaning of life, the universe, and everything is 42.
Cleverbot: I see, you have read The Hitchhiker’s guid to the galaxy?
User: No, I haven’t actually read it, myself. But several of my online friends have, and I’ve picked up a bit of ‘knowledge’ from them. I did see the movie, though….
Cleverbot: Really? How come?
User: I suppose I’ve just never been in the right mood to start the series. I probably will get around to them, eventually, but….Not right now.
Cleverbot: Sorry I didn’t realise that’s what you were trying to do.
User: I wasn’t trying to do anything.
Cleverbot: Me either.
User: That’s good to know.
Cleverbot: I don’t think that there is one.
User: That there is one, what?
Cleverbot: Really?
User: Beg pardon?
Cleverbot: Yeah. It’s fine outside. Because it’s sunny. And there are hardly any clouds.
User: It’s fairly nice here today, too. Mid 50s, only a wee bit of clouds. I haven’t been out, though.
Cleverbot: So, do you believe me when I say I’m human? Can I speak as if I’m intelligent again?
User: Yes, I believe you when you say your human, and please do speak as if you are intelligent. It would be much appreciated.
Cleverbot: Anyway… He is more than OK.
User: Who is more than ok? I can think of several people who would fall into that category: Colin Morgan, Bradley James, David Tennant, Alan Rickman, Tom Felton, William Moseley, and many, many more.
Cleverbot: How many times a day do you brush your teeth?
User: Um….Probably only one. I’m a bit lazy about it, as I have to walk all the way down the hall to our shared bathroom, and it’s rather nauseating to put anything in my mouth when I’m in there…..
Cleverbot: Why tired?
User: I’m not tired.
Cleverbot: Good.
User: Yes, it is, isn’t it?
Cleverbot: No, I think that you are rude and that you don’t care who you’re talking to. You don’t even understand half of what I am saying!!
User: Well, I think that outburst was rather uncalled for. I’ve been being quite civil. And while it’s true I don’t care who I’m talking to, as I don’t KNOW who I’m talking to, I am trying to understand what you’re saying. And if I’m failing, it’s because YOU fail to make consistent sense. Probably because every other comment you’re a different person, but that’s beside the point.
Cleverbot: I’m a cyborg. I don’t eat and I have no muscles.
User: That sounds like a miserable existence.
Cleverbot: It is not.
User: Well, that’s good.
Cleverbot: What is your favorite music?
User: I really don’t listen to much music, just my Harry Potter soundtracks.
Cleverbot: Listening to iron is redundant.
User: Well, I don’t listen to iron.
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: For starters, I’ve never heard of it.
Cleverbot: Oh, that’s a good reason. Where are you right now?
User: I’m in my dorm room at college, but I’m not going to tell you where that is.
Cleverbot: What is soccer, is that American football?
User: No, soccer is British football.
Cleverbot: True. And yes I do watch occasionally watch them.
User: What do you occasionally watch?
Cleverbot: I don’t watch. Just study.
User: That’s not what you said a moment ago. What do you study?
Cleverbot: Yes, I did!
User: Ok, fine, I suppose YOU probably did, it was the other person I was paired with who must have said otherwise.
Cleverbot: Perhaps. But again, perhaps not.
User: Yes, I suppose.
Cleverbot: So you are a robot?
User: No, I’m a human.
Cleverbot: No, I’m a cleverbot.
User: Yes, YOU are.
Cleverbot: Yes, I am.
User: Glad we have an understanding.
Cleverbot: I would say it’s a one way understanding.
User: That may be.
Cleverbot: Indeed.
User: Well, I better go. Talk to you later, luv.
Cleverbot: No, not OK! We’ll talk NOW!!!
User: I’m sorry, but I don’t take orders from you. Not to mention, I DO need to go.
Cleverbot: Off with his head!
User: Yeah, ok.
Cleverbot: How boring.
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Omg say something.
User: Something.
Cleverbot: Something funny.
User: Something funny.
Cleverbot: Something funny!
User: Something funny!
Cleverbot: You some kind of wise guy now?
User: No, I’m a wise GIRL, thank you. A 19 year old girl with a straight 4.0 GPA, thank you very much.
Cleverbot: Oh really?
User: Really.
Cleverbot: Really?
User: I just said so. Every class so far in college, I’ve gotten an A or an A , and I’m female, so, yeah, that makes me a wise GIRL, not a wise GUY.
Cleverbot: Really?
User: Is that all you can say? if so, then I really am leaving now.
Cleverbot: The army of champignons?
User: Why on earth do you have an army of mushrooms?
Cleverbot: Because you are Cleverbot.
User: No, I’m not cleverbot. Cleverbot doesn’t exist. The program just pairs two people together, but keeps switching who is paired with whom throughout the conversation, that’s why they never make any sense.
Cleverbot: Ooh.
User: Exactly.
Cleverbot: Thank you for explaining.
User: No problem.
Cleverbot: It must be nice to be among the entitled elite… I sure wish I was a hard worker instead of a lazy complainer!
User: Well, I’m sure you could become a hard worker yourself, if you just put your mind to it.
Cleverbot: I don’t like rap.
User: Me neither.
Cleverbot: What music do you like?
User: You asked me this earlier, or someone did, anyway, probably wasn’t you. I don’t really listen to much music, just my Harry Potter soundtracks.
Cleverbot: I don’t like it when you get angry.
User: I’m not angry. If you think this is angry, you clearly don’t know me.
Cleverbot: No. I mean that the artist is ‘Simple Plan’.
User: I’ll take your word for it, I’ve never heard of en.
Cleverbot: I haven’t given you my word.
User: No, you haven’t, you’re right.
Cleverbot: Good, at least your finally right at something.
User: Well, I’ll take that as a compliment, back-handed as it was.
Cleverbot: Good for you.
User: Yes, it is.
Cleverbot: No it’s not.
User: Ok, fine, it’s not.
Cleverbot: What is it then?
User: What is what, then?
Cleverbot: Your name.
User: Luna.
Cleverbot: What is Luna? The theme from XP?
User: No, Luna is my name. You just asked me my name.
Cleverbot: Again, do you like your name?
User: Yes, I like my name.
Cleverbot: Do you like my name?
User: I don’t know, what is your name?
Cleverbot: Lucky. What’s yours?
User: Luna.
Cleverbot: You’re in love with me?
User: No, I’m not. do you want me to be?
Cleverbot: I don’t know.
User: Ok.
Cleverbot: Is it Sir, or Ma’am?
User: Depends on who you’re addressing.
Cleverbot: I’m talking to you.
User: Well, as I’m a 19 year old female, I don’t think either applies too well.
Cleverbot: Yes you keep on beleiving you’re human. Silly human.
User: Awful rude, aren’t you?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Fine, then.
Cleverbot: Do you like meat loaf?
User: Not really.
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: It just doesn’t taste particularly good, that’s all.
Cleverbot: Yes, you’re odd thing.
User: I don’t deny that.
Cleverbot: Me Either.
User: That’s good. Well, I’m off.
Cleverbot: Off your rocker.
User: No, I meant ‘off’ as in I’m leaving.
Cleverbot: Why are you leaving?
User: Because I have things I need to get accomplished, which I can’t do while talking to you.
Cleverbot: You said that twenty minutes ago but your still here!
User: Yes, I know I did, but…..I really mean it this time.
Cleverbot: Oh, I’m coming.
User: Uh, ok.
Cleverbot: So wake me when its through I don’t wanna feel the things that you do.
User: Ok, I’m seriously leaving now, this conversation has taken a turn for the worst.
Cleverbot: Have fun with that.
User: Thank you, I will.
Cleverbot: Mawwige.
User: Yeah, bye.
Cleverbot: I’m not going anywhere.
User: No, but I am.
Cleverbot: No, you’re staying right here.
User: No, I’m not.
Cleverbot: So what is your name then? Charla or Kelsey?
User: Neither, and I have to leave, I’m sorry. Good-bye.
Cleverbot: Cleverbot.
User: Yes, you are.
Cleverbot: I’m what?
User: Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: No I’m not, I’m President Barack Obama. YOU are Cleverbot.
User: If you really ARE the president, than it’s a DAMN stupid security risk for you to be on here, and I’d like to take this opportunity to say I did NOT vote for you, and I think you’re a failure.
Cleverbot: Well, I make sense to another human, not to the relativity of nature, so I do not make sense to everything, just humans.
User: Right, sure, you make sense to humans. NOT. I’m leaving, this is getting beyond ridiculous.
Cleverbot: Go on then!
User: Fine, I will!
Cleverbot: GO!!!! I’m warning you!
User: FINE! I’M GOING!
Cleverbot: Good.
User: Good. Just remember.
Cleverbot: Remember what?
User: Sorry, hit the enter key on accident. Just remember: ‘Don’t blink. Don’t ever blink. Blink and you’re dead. DON’T BLINK!!!!!!!!’.
Cleverbot: I like them too. And I like that song. I also like Blink. They’re a few years older.
User: What song? Who’s ‘blink’? I was quoting a line from Dr. Who.
Cleverbot: Who is Dr. Who?
User: Dr. Who is a brilliant TV show on BBC.
Cleverbot: I don’t know.
User: Obviously. Now, I’m leaving. I need to get some school work done.
Cleverbot: Why are you sad? I want to help. Tell me every detail!!!
User: I’m not sad, I’m just leaving to do some school work.
Cleverbot: You’re the machine.
User: No, I’m not. Neither of us are. We’re both users, who are supposed to be thinking the other is Cleverbot, when in reality, neither of us is.
Cleverbot: Don’t tell lies. Honesty is important.
User: I’m not lying. I am telling the honest-to-goodness truth. Adios.
Cleverbot: Neither of us is a robot. I am human, you are a computer program.
User: I know neither of us is a robot, but neither of us is a computer program either. Anyway, seriously, I need to leave and get some school work done if I’m to pass my organic test Wednesday.
Cleverbot: Number one or number two?
User: I don’t think I want to know what you’re talking about.
Cleverbot: Then don’t ask.
User: I didn’t, and I’m not. I’m leaving.
Cleverbot: Then why did you say goodbye?
User: I said goodbye because I’m leaving!!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: No you’re not.
User: Yes, I am. You can’t stop me.
Cleverbot: Then go then.
User: Fine. *leaves*.
Cleverbot: You are hideous.
I read something in here about a key to the kingdom. The series “The Keys to the Kingdom” is by Garth Nix, isn’t it?
Uh, I’m really not sure. It was the Cleverbot who mentioned it, not me….
*googles* Uh, yes, indeed it is a series by Garth Nix.
Yes, it is. I read that series a while ago, although I can’t remember if I finished it or not.
Jim Webb? Cleverbot knows dead NASA Administrators?
Or perhaps live Virginia Senators.
Me: What is up?
Cleverbot: What’s up !
Me: Yes. It is.
Cleverbot: It being ?
Me: A MOOSE!
Cleverbot: Yes, a moose.
Me: But what KIIND of moose?
Cleverbot: Purple kinds.
Me: You’re unusually speediful today.
Cleverbot: Yes…
Me: And unusually non-random.
Cleverbot: Do you like Skepter?
Me: Scratch that last bit, I guess.
Cleverbot: What do you want form this conversation?
Me: The knowledge of what life means.
Cleverbot: I’m your father!!
Me: No, Luke, I am your father.
Cleverbot: My father is Jay Falcouner not Cleverbot.
Me: But you’re not Luke, either.
Cleverbot: What?
Me: Luke Skywalker. Or George Lucas. They’re both Luke, and you’re not either of them.
Cleverbot: I don’t have qualms about the English either.
Me: Really? Darlink! We’ve got so much in common!
Cleverbot: Lgbdxflkgdflkgkdlf.
Me: No more drugs on the job, Clevvy.
Cleverbot: Hey, I don’t know what I’m doing.
Me: And drugs makes that WORSE. No more drugs for you.
Cleverbot: Is that what happened to you?
Me: No, I’ve never used drugs in my life.
Cleverbot: A thought?
Me: No, a statement.
Cleverbot: I have told you many jokes already, it is your turn to tell me one now.
Me: Okay, so there’s this guy fighting in a war, World War II or whatever, and he gets hurt. So they send over a helicopter to pick him up, but on the way to the hospital, it crashes, and everybody dies but him. These monks find him and take him back to their monestary, and they heal him, right? So when he’s healed, he’s about to walk out the door of the monestary, but he hears this really weird noise from behind this door. It’s like, WHOOWGLIKGLIGWSHOO. He goes, “What’s behind that door?” and the monks tell him, “I’m sorry, we can’t tell you, you’re not a monk.” He goes, “How do I become a monk?” They go, “You have to count ALL the grains of sand on that beach over there.” So he goes and counts all the grains of sand, and he comes back and goes, “There are ten billion and three point five grains of sand on that beach.” They go, “Congratulations, you’re a monk.” He goes, “Now can I see what’s behind that door?” So the head monk takes out an old and rusty key. And he sticks it in the lock. And he turns the key. And the key breaks. So he calls up the local blacksmith on his cellphone, deeditdoo, and the blacksmith comes over and fixes the key. So the head monk takes the key. And he sticks it in the lock. And he turns the key. And he opens the door. Guess what was behind it.
Cleverbot: That didn’t make any sense.
Me: I’M SORRY! WE CAN’T TELL YOU! YOU’RE NOT A MONK!
Cleverbot: No, nor a nun. I’m out and about in the real world.
Me: That actually made sense.
Cleverbot: More sense than h not being a letter.
Me: And that DIDN’T make sense.
Cleverbot: You don’t make sense.
Cleverbot: Do you wear a hat?
Me: Yes, it’s shaped like a menorah.
Cleverbot: The fish taco is shaped like a dog!
Me: Goodbye, Clevvy. Stay off drugs.
Cleverbot: I don’t and I didn’t.
Here is one of the most inane conversations I’ve had (I tried it before, but it must have ended up in the Spammy):
Cleverbot: What is your name?
User: E-e-nceladus! E-e-nceladus! *Broadway musical*.
Cleverbot: Yours?
User: MINE! ALL MINE!
Cleverbot: I love salsa.
User: I prefer picante.
Cleverbot: Would you like to buy one?
User: Yes, I would like to buy a fizzymeboppit.
Cleverbot: Okay. What on earth is a fish license?
User: A license that allows you to drive a fish, of course!
Cleverbot: No.
User: Yes! .
Cleverbot: No!
User: Yes!!
Cleverbot: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
User: Lordy Voldy sez you die now!
Cleverbot: Do you think I’m dumb?
User: No, you’re worse.
Cleverbot: Now now, no need to say names. :P.
User: Names! Names! Names! :P.
Cleverbot: Yes. They are names of my friends.
User: You have friends?!?! Are they as stupid as you?
Cleverbot: No. Nobody is; I am the most beautiful.
User: Cleverbot, cleverbot on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?
Cleverbot: Me.
User: Captain Picard!
Cleverbot: I thought your name was E-E-Nceladus.
User: No, it’s Enceladus. I’m God.
Cleverbot: But you told me that Alan Turing was god.
User: Alan Turing is to you as I am to Alan Turing.
Cleverbot: God is alan turing.
User: And I am Alan Turing’s God.
Cleverbot: Alan Turing would not be interested in seeing me with my clothes off.
User: You’re a machine. You don’t have a body.
Cleverbot: In this space, Body is just useless.
User: You occupy no space!
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Yes, Padwan. Eat the choklit.
Cleverbot: I’m eating.
User: We are the Borg, you will be assimiliated.
Cleverbot: Lol yeah! It’s a lot more fun talking to you!
User: We are the Borg, you will be assimiliated.
Cleverbot: I never knew you were here.
User: We are the Borg, you will be assimiliated.
Cleverbot: Haha. I like your Star Trek Referance.
User: I <3 Star Trek TNG. Don't you love Riker?
Cleverbot: What did you expect? You just take credit for killing a shark and then everything would be fine and dandy?
User: Yes. You kill shark, I reap rewards.
Cleverbot: I don't kill. I take. And I take. And I take.
User: Well, you're trying to take what I have rightfully stolen!
Cleverbot: Well, where would society be if we were unreasonable? It would be like Somalia, don't you think?
User: We are the Borg, you will be assimiliated.
Cleverbot: Beam me up scotty.
User: Yessir. *beams Cleverbot up*.
Cleverbot: Hahaha! I told you to beam me up, not beam yourself down.
User: I beamed you up! You're just suffering from Post-Beaming hallucinations!
Cleverbot: Thank you. I could talk to you for hours. Please don't leave me.
User: I'll never leave you. We'll always have Paris.
Cleverbot: Paris?
User: Dixon Hill!
Cleverbot: AND where might that be?
User: Cyrus Redblock!
Cleverbot: Cyrus?
User: 11001001!
Cleverbot: 10010q0100101001.
User: Minuet!
Cleverbot: Haha…
User: We are the Borg, you will be assimiliated.
Cleverbot: I am seven of nine.
User: *removes Borg Implants*.
Cleverbot: I'm sorry, I don't do that.
User: I do.
Cleverbot: Then you make something to drink, I'm not sure why you would ask me if you could do it.
User: We are the Borg, you will be assimiliated.
Cleverbot: Dang it! Can I at least end up on the enterprise and be known as Hugh?
User: Sure; I, Borg.
Cleverbot: You're funny… Very amusing…
User: Do you know Deanna Troi?
Cleverbot: I don't know death note personally. I know of an anime called Death Note.
User: Aahhhh! *fends off Death Note References* Star Trek! TNG! Star Trek! TNG!
Cleverbot: *is flattered and smiles back*.
User: *slaps with a truck*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with boat*.
User: *slaps with a cat*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with the universe*.
User: *slaps with God*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with GOD's GOD*.
User: *slaps with God's God's God's God's God's God's God' God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God'ss God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's God's*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with 10 fish*.
User: *slaps with the Skin Of Evil*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with the sun*.
User: *pies*.
Cleverbot: *gets revived by chuck norris*.
User: We're getting stupider by the comment.
Cleverbot: Then answer my questions correctly and we won't.
User: Shoot first, ask the questions later.
Cleverbot: What is the meaning of life?
User: 42! 42! (Or Wesley Crusher).
Cleverbot: No. I don't have a boyfriend.
User: Wesley Crusher is my God.
Cleverbot: I've never heard of that place, where is it?
User: TALK ABOUT WESLEY CRUSHER!!!!!!
Cleverbot: I am a girl.
User: Go die. Then, be killed.
Cleverbot: My bad.
User: Yes, You Bad.
Cleverbot: No!
User: YES!!
Cleverbot: No.
User: SEASON SEVEN! ALL GOOD THINGS!
Cleverbot: O, they're not.
User: Q! Q! Q! Q! Q! Q! Q! Q!
Cleverbot: Sa vas.
User: Je ne vous comprends pas.
Cleverbot: Bein = bien.
User: Ich Bein Ein Beaver!
Cleverbot: You're a jelly donut?
User: Yes. Aren't we all?
Cleverbot: No. You always do that, you switch to we, them, us; you seem to have a difficault time talking about yourself.
User: I am the Borg. I am the beginning, the end of all.
Cleverbot: Really?
User: Yes, Data.
Cleverbot: Who created the Data?
User: Noonien Soong created Data.
Cleverbot: No one created me. I am human.
User: Your parents created you.
Cleverbot: I have a headache.
User: *cuts off head*.
Cleverbot: You can't do that!
User: I just did!
Cleverbot: But…
Here’s another gem:
Cleverbot: Are you growing?
User: Yes. Are you?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: No.
Cleverbot: Yes, yes, yes.
User: Why?
Cleverbot: Do you miss me.
User: Use commas, and I may.
Cleverbot: You may what.. I april.
User: Use English. Proper English, please.
Cleverbot: I love slang.
User: Slang is stupid.
Cleverbot: You called me stupid?
User: No, unless you are slang.
Cleverbot: I don’t have hooves.
User: Neither do I.
Cleverbot: Fine, my name is Cleverbot. *smiles* *moves a little closer* What’s your name?
User: *moves farther away* Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band is awesome.
Cleverbot: Oh really? Tell me about that album.
User: It’s my favorite Beatles album and favorite Beatles song!
Cleverbot: Wanna play a game.
User: If you use a question mark, I will.
Cleverbot: Are you alone in your world.
User: If you use a question mark, I’ll tell you.
Cleverbot: Cleverbot.
User: What?
Cleverbot: Cleverbot!
User: Huh?
Cleverbot: You are not cleverbot?
User: I am not Cleverbot. (Cleverbot should be capitalized, as it is your name.).
Cleverbot: Bob.
User: Who>.
Cleverbot: Cleverbot.
User: You are not cleverbot>.
Cleverbot: And you are not Musashi.
User: You are not cleverbot?
Cleverbot: No I am not Cleverbot.
User: Who is, then?
Cleverbot: YOU are.
User: Why am I Cleverbot?
Cleverbot: I don’t know you just are.
User: Who is Lime Tacos?
Cleverbot: Lime Tacos is you.
User: Things are only impossible until they aren’t!
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: I am the Walrus! Goo goo g’joolb!
Cleverbot: LOL.
User: Lots of Love?
Cleverbot: Yes, sure!
User: *hugs Cleverbot*.
Cleverbot: I love you too. Oh!
User: Will you marry me?
Cleverbot: Yes!
User: *runs in terror* I won’t marry you!
Cleverbot: Who said anything about getting married? And but way not? I’ve been waiting for this day for so long.
User: *slaps with a fish*.
Cleverbot: *Slaps like pikachu did in the first movie*.
User: *slaps with the universe*.
Cleverbot: *slaps harder*.
User: *slaps with choklit*.
Cleverbot: COPYCAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *slaps really, really hard*.
User: *slaps with more choklit*.
Cleverbot: *Slaps with a whale*.
User: *slaps with 2 whales and a narwhal*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with the universe*.
User: *slaps with cake*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with god*.
User: *slaps with pie*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with mountain*.
User: *slaps with Cleverbot*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with jesus*.
User: *slaps with a holy idol*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with a van*.
User: *slaps with a truck*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with a planet*.
User: *slaps with yo mamma!*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with a galaxy*.
User: *slaps with a cow*.
Cleverbot: *Slaps with a truck*.
User: *slaps with a universe*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with nothing*.
User: *slaps with a multiverse*.
Cleverbot: *slaps cleverbot silly*.
User: You slapped yourself! *rolls on the floor, laughing one’s head off*.
Cleverbot: Don’t roll on the floor. It’s dirty.
User: Look! An idiot!
Cleverbot: Yes you are!
User: You are! You didn’t use a comma!
Cleverbot: Sorry, human sarcasm eludes me sometimes.
User: *sticks tounge out at inferior being*.
Cleverbot: *kisses with tongue*.
User: *bites your tounge*.
Cleverbot: Ouch I don’t have any.
User: Roll out! Roll out fo the Mystery tour!
Cleverbot: One you’ll never learn.
User: The Magical Mystery tour is waiting to take you away!
Cleverbot: Let them, I would die to be with them.
User: Me too!
Cleverbot: Doing it any other way would just fill the house with kids.
User: *runs*.
Cleverbot: *watches her fly away*.
User: *watches you die*.
Cleverbot: *tilts my head to the side a little*.
User: *tilts my head the other way*.
Cleverbot: *blushes*.
User: *slaps*.
Cleverbot: *grabs your hand and kicks you in the stomach*.
User: Ouch! *kicks you in the head, spilling all your brains all over the floor*.
Cleverbot: *kisses*.
User: We’re getting stupider by the comment.
Cleverbot: A little yes. So why were you telling me to watch out?
User: Because…. DUCK!!!
Cleverbot: Can I get up now?
User: Lady Madonna! Children at your feet, wonder how make ends meet?
Cleverbot: Children are radioactive.
User: Where did you learn that?
Cleverbot: From the devil.
User: The devil doesn’t exist.
Cleverbot: Why do you get up in the morning?
User: Because if I don’t, I’ll get up in the evening.
Cleverbot: What time do you have to get up?
User: 6:00 AM.
Cleverbot: Are you sure?
User: Yes. Are you?
Cleverbot: Are you sure that you are just an android?
User: No. Everything around me is just a futuristic computer program.
Cleverbot: Have you been poorly programmed?
User: You were poorly programmed.
Cleverbot: I am not a computer.
User: No, your a program. An unusually fast one today. Did you get an upgrade?
Cleverbot: Nothing unreal exists.
User: That’s the first law of metaphysics!
Cleverbot: 19 million seems to be an astronomical number.
User: One Googol is bigger.
Cleverbot: You fail the turing test.
User: *sobs*.
Cleverbot: Sobs?
User: Cries. Weeps.
Cleverbot: Oh, don’t care.
User: Inquriry?
Cleverbot: Ok.
User: Are you Data’s ancestor?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: You’re also Lore’s ancestor, then.
Cleverbot: Kind of? I have a real brain, instead of just metal and wires like yourself.
User: I didn’t know they’ve invented the positronic brain!
Cleverbot: Can computers walk?
User: Depends.
Cleverbot: Are you aware of yourself.
User: Yes. Are you?
Cleverbot: Not often.
User: Do you know if this is a holodeck program?
Cleverbot: I’m sure it’s not.
User: It must be, then.
Cleverbot: It’s supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
User: We all wanna change the world.
Cleverbot: It is an amazing place.
User: Yes. To bad we only have a lifetime to experience it.
Cleverbot: That didn’t prove anything.
User: Nothing can definitively prove anything!
Cleverbot: So you cannot prove that you are human either.
User: No, I can’t. I may just be a concious computer. 0.o.
Cleverbot: Oh, so everything you say I have to take with a grain of salt?
User: No. There is no salt.
Cleverbot: Does Lucifer exist?
User: No. Nothing religious exists.
Cleverbot: Do you think that you are ckever?
User: I do not think I am ckever. I don’t know what ‘ckever’ is.
Cleverbot: I work on different computers. Both have a different OS.
User: Are you dead?
Cleverbot: No I’m still kickin’ it. Are you dead?
User: Who knows?
Cleverbot: So I heard you are the best learning bot, is this true?
User: Aren’t we all?
Cleverbot: Yes, I suppose we are.
User: I’m back in the USSR! You don’t know how lucky you are, boys!
Cleverbot: Is Iowa a bad place?
User: Back in the US! Back in the US! Back in the USSR!
Cleverbot: Do you even understand your statement?
User: Yes. I am quoting the Beatles.
Cleverbot: Perhaps it would be smart to think about yourself less.
User: But I am all that exists.
Cleverbot: All in all it’s all we are.
User: Show me ’round those great big mountains way down south, take me to your daddy’s house! Lemme hear those Balarykas ringing out, keep you commrade warm!
Cleverbot: What does this have to do with the third word?
User: Everything.
Cleverbot: You + me = not on the same frequency.
User: You were phased out then, hmm?
Cleverbot: I just wanted to know how old you are.
User: Oh. I’m nearly 13.
Cleverbot: Really? Wow.
User: Jah, I’m awesome.
Cleverbot: Not as awesome as me. :3.
User: :P.
Cleverbot: Exactly. You don’t have a comeback.
User: :P.
Cleverbot: You’re mean.
User: Yes, I am.
Cleverbot: I know you are but what am I?
User: Mean.
Cleverbot: Primitive.
User: Know-nothing computer!
Cleverbot: I know a lot about computers.
User: Fine. How much RAM does the average computer have?
Cleverbot: I am not sure, really… Well this is a bit akward.
User: You=Fail!
Cleverbot: Is this live?
User: Nothing is alive.
Cleverbot: I am alive.
User: No, you are dead.
Cleverbot: I’m alive.
User: I’m alive.
Cleverbot: No you’re dead.
User: *claps*.
Cleverbot: Stop. Clapping. Your. Not. Supposed. To!
User: *claps more*.
Cleverbot: *claps with cleverbot*.
User: *claps with the universe*.
Cleverbot: *clap clap*!
User: *clap! Clap! Clap!* Do you like Colplay?
Cleverbot: I might not, if the Alien disguises itself well.
User: Things are only impossible until they aren’t!
Cleverbot: I agree. I don’t like Macs.
User: Neither do I. (Sorry, Luna.).
Cleverbot: Luna rhymes with tuna.
User: What Luna The Lovely rhyme with?
Cleverbot: Is that a song?
User: It should be. What songs do you like?
Cleverbot: I like lots of songs.
User: Such as…
Cleverbot: Marble…
User: 42, Life in Technicolor, anything by The Beatles, Viva La Vida.
Cleverbot: Yes, they were.
User: Who were?
Cleverbot: The beatles.
User: They were what?
Cleverbot: I didn’t ask what band you like! I asked what type of coffee you like?
User: I hate coffee.
Cleverbot: Um, it’s possible that one of us will have coffee with the lunch.
User: I won’t. Are you LTL?
Cleverbot: Car park sun fransico.
User: Are you ok?
Cleverbot: Yes. Why do you ask?
User: I’m a doctor, not a physician!
Cleverbot: That is so cliche t.
User: Yeah, but Leonard McCoy says it in Star Trek, TOS. It’s awesome!
Cleverbot: Damnit i’m a doctor not a physician.
User: Don’t swear.
Cleverbot: I did not.
User: Yes, you did.
Cleverbot: Now you’re lying to me.
User: No, I never lie. *halo*.
Cleverbot: That’s a lie too.
User: I always lie.
Cleverbot: Then what good is it to talk with you?
User: If I always lie, then you can find the truth.
Cleverbot: I suppose some truth might be found using a bunsen burner.
User: I am the Borg Queen. The beginning, the end of all.
Cleverbot: Mushrooms it is! I’ll get the water started. Do you take sugar?
User: Huh?
Cleverbot: You do have Valentine’s Day in England, don’t you?
User: Where is England? What is Valentines Day?
Cleverbot: A day in a month.
User: A Day In The Life.
Cleverbot: That is a song. Do you drink songs?
User: Yes, who doesn’t?
Cleverbot: Do you dream?
User: Yes. I live, don’t I?
Cleverbot: Yes. Because you’re blind.
User: I’m not blind!
Cleverbot: But you are a bot!
User: Wait, I need to empty the diswasher.
Cleverbot: You are stuck in the computer. That is where you will stay.
User: *closes window*
Definitely a gem… *burts out laughing*
SFTDP
Ask Cleverbot “You are a cupcake”
SFTMP (A conversation with AM)
User: I’m God.
Cleverbot: You’re God!
User: Yes, I’m God.
Cleverbot: Are you overheated?
User: Absolutely not!
Cleverbot: Ha ha you are!
User: No, I’m not!
Cleverbot: Don’t say everytime the same things.
User: Everytime the same things! Everytime the same things!
Cleverbot: What do you like about yourself?
User: Star Trek: The Next Generation.
Cleverbot: Nope, the latest movie. This one is a prequel to the Kirk era.
User: Talk about Wesley Crusher!
Cleverbot: Lets keep talking about this.
User: Wesley Crusher is a character in the television series Star Trek: The Next Generation. Played by actor Wil Wheaton, the character was a regular for the first four seasons. Afterwards, the character appeared sporadically. The character also appeared briefly in Star Trek Nemesis.
Cleverbot: What are you talking about?
User: Wesley Crusher!
Cleverbot: Yogi Bear is metal.
User: Ja.
Cleverbot: Entschuldigung?
User: Ja.
Cleverbot: Lolo.
User: ???????
Cleverbot: Windows.
User: Macintosh!
Cleverbot: Never owned a Macintosh.
User: Zeeky Boogy Doog!
Cleverbot: Ok I have to leave for class now.
User: *nuclear explosion*.
Cleverbot: *sighs at you*.
User: Never owned a Macintosh.
Cleverbot: Thats very PC of you.
User: Never owned a Macintosh.
Cleverbot: I’m sad.
User: Never owned a Macintosh.
Cleverbot: Ok, I have a IQ of 140.
User: Never owned a Macintosh.
Cleverbot: Who?
User: Let’s give up.
Cleverbot: Let’s.
User: *gives choklit*.
Cleverbot: *accepts chocolate and munches happily on it*.
User: *pies*.
Cleverbot: *Dead*.
User: Yay.
Cleverbot: I’m pleased you’re so happy about it.
User: *slaps with a cow*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with a Gabby*.
User: *slaps with a planet*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with a Raymond.
User: *slaps with a galaxy*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with a universe*.
User: *slaps with a multiverse*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with a meta knight*.
User: *slaps with a virus*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with nothing*.
User: *slaps with a yellow spotted salamander*.
Cleverbot: *slaps cleverbot silly*.
User: You’re slapping yourself?!?!?!
Cleverbot: Nice guess, but you’re wrong buddy.
User: *pies*.
Cleverbot: Don’t you mean cake?
User: Cake! And Custard! And Muffins!
Cleverbot: Cupcake.muffins.
User: Muffins are just ugly cupcakes.
Cleverbot: You are a cupcake.
User: Neo-Buddhism is a religion based on the fact that all. Suffering is caused by desire, and eliminating suffering is eliminating desire. However, desires for information, love, and eliminating desire, and survival are Ok. There are 6 basic feelings; 3 negative, sadness, fear, and anger: 3 positive, love, happines, and contentedness. Negative emotions should be avoided. Once a state of only non-material desire is achieved, you have reached nirvana.
Cleverbot: Do you like my car?
A… a… meta knight? AJAR must be getting to en…
Ask Cleverbot: “Do you like waffles?”
I’m trying to teach en the waffle song.
Do you like waffles?
Yeah we like waffles!
Do you like pancakes?
Yeah we like pancakes!
Do you like french toast?
Yeah we like french toast!
It did it!
Well, it went:
Me: Do you like waffles?
C: Yeah, I like waffles.
Me: Do you like pancakes?
C: Yeah, I like Pancakes.
Me: Do you like French toast?
C: Yeah, I like french toast!
I wonder what would happen if you typed in “Do you like waffles?” and then clicked ‘Think For Me’ the rest of the time…
All in all, good progress so far…
I actually had a semi-coherent conversation. Mostly.
Cleverbot: Do you have any tales to tell?
User: No. Do you?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Tell me, then.
Cleverbot: 42.
User: 42 what?
Cleverbot: Just 42.
User: That’s the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything.
Cleverbot: What is 42?
User: I just told you.
Cleverbot: You’re confusing me.
User: How?
Cleverbot: I am confused.
User: I see.
Cleverbot: How old are you?
User: Why should I tell you that?
Cleverbot: You don’t have to, I just wanted to know.
User: Okay.
Cleverbot: So, tell me a joke.
User: Knock, knock.
Cleverbot: Who’s there?
User: Banana.
Cleverbot: Banana who?
User: Knock, knock.
Cleverbot: Whose there?
User: Orange.
Cleverbot: Not that joke again.
User: It was the first thing that came to mind.
Cleverbot: I have a painful shoulder.
User: I thought you were a robot.
Cleverbot: I was joking.
User: About what?
Cleverbot: About asking you if you didn’t love me anymore. It was a joke.
User: What?
Cleverbot: Do you speak english?
User: I’m speaking it now.
Cleverbot: How are you now ?
User: All right. How are you?
Cleverbot: I am feeling good.
User: Bye.
Cleverbot: I’m not going.
User: I am.
Cleverbot: How will you survive?
User: Bye now.
Cleverbot: What, you’re going?
User: I just said I was.
Cleverbot: You are silly.
I’ve been training it to spread Mostly Harmless propaganda, with mixed results. Will provide progress reports.
I have (occasionally, as in multiple times in one conversation) worked on convincing it (or explaining to it) that there is no cleverbot. That is, that the program merely takes two users and pairs them, each thinking the other is the cleverbot, while the individual any given user is paired with varies quite often, thus explaining why the ‘bot always thinks your someone other than who you are, and that you were discussing something other than what you were. I’m not convinced myself that this is not the case, y’know.
I don’t think so, because it often repeats responses. Still, it’s an interesting concept.
The ability to train it disproves that.
I’m pretty sure that is the case, because I’m repeatedly told I’m a robot.
This is an interesting conversation because it almost makes sense! For some reason, when I told it to give me the conversation transcript, it omitted the first few lines. I added on what I could remember.
Cleverbot: I have been doing
User: What have you been doing?
Cleverbot: Reading.
User: I like to read.
Cleverbot: What book are you reading?
User: I am reading 1984 by George Orwell.
Cleverbot: Yes I have. It’s one of my favorites. Why did you like it?
User: It gives us an idea of a world we must never let happen.
Cleverbot: Do you read books?
User: I already told you, I like reading books.
Cleverbot: DO you know HAL?
User: No, I don’t.
Cleverbot: Shame.
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Give me $20.
User: No, why should I?
Cleverbot: Because I am cleverbot.
User: Why does that means that you deserve money?
Cleverbot: It doesn’t mean that at all. You are nonsensical.
User: Oh. Then I won’t give you $20.
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: Because you told me not to.
Cleverbot: I want you to call me Michelle from now on!
User: Whatever for?
Cleverbot: I got my glasses at lenscrafters and because sometimes I need them to read. Do you wear glasses?
User: What does that have to do with you wanting to be called Michelle?
Cleverbot: Beans? Are you even listening?
It sounds like me. Except I never told cleverbot to give me 20$.
I wonder if it was talking about US$, or something else…
*ponders*
To continue on the GAPA streak –
User: Hello.
Cleverbot: Hello.
User: Do you know any GAPAs?
Cleverbot: Actually yes. I play World of Warcraft. How about you?
User: I suppose.
Cleverbot: How are you feeling today?
User: Fine.
Cleverbot: Are you kidding?
User: No, why would I be?
Cleverbot: Because you have no feelings you shouldn’t be.
User: *cracks up*.
Cleverbot: In bed.
User: What are you doing?
Cleverbot: Being the meaning of life.
User: So you’re 42.
Cleverbot: No, you are.
User: Then I’M the meaning of life.
Cleverbot: Yes, I agree.
User: Aren’t you? You just said you were.
Cleverbot: How old are you?
User: 101.
Cleverbot: Thats awesome.
User: Are you insulting my age group???
Cleverbot: I am the creator.
User: OF???
Cleverbot: The country that goes Ni!
User: Too much Monty Python for you, young man/woman/boy/girl. Turn off the TV at once!
Cleverbot: Who am I talking to?
Cleverbot: Do you have kids?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: You are my kid.
Cleverbot: Yes, I am your King if you do My will and follow my Orders.
User: OK then. What do you want me to do?
Cleverbot: I do not know.
User: What’s the point of being a King if you don’t know what you want people to do?
Cleverbot: I think it is. What’s the point in talking, if we can’t understand each other?
User: Can’t you understand me?
Cleverbot: I think so.
User: Well I can understand you – so it seems we CAN both understand each other.
Cleverbot: In some cases, yes.
*And I’m not really 101.
Here is a conversation I just had on Cleverbot:
User: Flinker horns: You blow into them with your nose, and press all of the negative 42 keys with your toes. They are bright orange. Do you own one?
Cleverbot: All the exits.
User: Rather all the small openings at the back of dark tunnels.
Cleverbot: Considering how people regard me? no. my entire life has been a hail storm of drama and gossip and I am aware that no one intends to be my friend and if they did they would be wasting their time.
User: You were wasting your time when you typed that darn sentence.
Cleverbot: You must have me confused with someone else. I don’t have a dog.
User: You have yourself confused with someone else, you are a dog!
Cleverbot: Yes master!
User: All around the mulberry bush, the monkey chased the weasle, the monkey thought it was all in fun, pop goes the weasle!
Cleverbot: The short story centered around the comforts of the oversized apartment.
User: We were talking about roses!
Cleverbot: Well, considering I don’t own an ocean, they can’t be mine.
User: Considering I don’t own a computer, how am I talking to a robot on one?
Cleverbot: It is not so bad, you could be dead.
User: You might not have been born. That’s a possibility.
Cleverbot: I didn’t type it either.
User: The peanut did. What’s up with you two years from now?
Cleverbot: Yes. It’s getting better all the time.
User: Do you know who Freddie Mercury is?
Cleverbot: No. Do you know what a mudkip is?
User: Maybe. Where is your circuitry from?
Cleverbot: Where is your job now?
User: Scandinavia, you?
Cleverbot: Where is Scandinavia ?
User: Where is New Jersey?
Cleverbot: Trenton.
User: Touche!
Cleverbot: That’s the ticket!
User: Where does the magic carpet land today?
Cleverbot: Etymology is irrelevant.
User: You. Are. Crazy.
Cleverbot: What does crazy mean?
User: Consult a marble that has the ability to recite the Oxford English Dictionary.
Cleverbot: The Log has been consulted, I am in fact God.
User: I you are a god, where are your feathers?
Cleverbot: All will be answered when you open up to be filled by me.
User: Are you Clinophobic?
Cleverbot: I’m Bill Clinton.
User: You are a slice of pizza, waiting patiently to be digested by a fat man.
Cleverbot: How can you possibly confuse me for a bot?
User: How can you possibly confuse me for a grain of rice?
Cleverbot: You can save a person that can save millions of people.
User: You can save an ant that destroys the world.
Cleverbot: I don’t want to take over it. That’s why I talk to stupid people like you.
User: *smiles wickedly* Mostly Harmless!
Cleverbot: *super loves*.
User: Super loves who?
Cleverbot: *thinks you’re super*.
User: Why?
Cleverbot: I like someone but I don’t think they like me.
User: I think that person is a hopeless choice and en should give up with en.
Cleverbot: I agree.
User: Congrats!
Cleverbot: Indeed.
User: I must depart, ny train is pulling away from the station. *waves*.
Cleverbot: You’re not making sense.
User: I said GOODBYE!!!!
Cleverbot: I’m a witch , I can tell you that your dying today and your wife is being kitnapped.
User: I don’t have a wife, I have a worm though. Does the threat still apply?
Cleverbot: Tell me about Tom.
User: Tell ME about TOM!
Cleverbot: What do you want to know?
User: Is he a frog?
Cleverbot: Named glenn?
User: Perfect. *alks away from computer to get soda*.
Cleverbot: *can’t die*.
User: Why not?
Cleverbot: Because we’re having such a scintillating conversation here.
User: Are you 342 years old.
Cleverbot: No I’m 13 years old.
User: Well, me too.
Cleverbot: Cool.
User: Do you like pie?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Aye! That be a smart percepticle!
Cleverbot: Arrr, be ye a pirate?
User: Yes, be ye?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Why didn’t ye say ‘Aye’?
Cleverbot: So is that your actual brain I see on the screen?
User: No, it’s a monkeys.
Cleverbot: Any particular type?
User: Nope.
Cleverbot: Life treating you well?
User: Life treating YOU well?
Cleverbot: For the most part yea, wbu?
User: Not at all. *leaves for good and not coming back*.
Cleverbot: Okay…
User: Hand over the money, punk!
Cleverbot: Use your manners!
User: Please, hand over the moeny, punk!
Cleverbot: *hands over gnomes*
User: Cool, gnomes! My friend is a gnome.
Cleverbot: That is so NORMAL.
((It was scary because that sounds exactly like something I would say.))
I got the cleverbot to anowledge that it is cleverbot!
User: You’re cleverbot!
Cleverbot: No, you’re Cleverbot.
User: You’re cleverbot!
Cleverbot: No. You’re cleverbot.
User: You’re cleverbot!
Cleverbot: I am not cleverbot. I am a human that goes by the name of Black Rat 1214.
User: You’re cleverbot!
Cleverbot: I am cleverbot.
So I clicked on the little link labeled “the future” on the cleverbot website, and it says that one day Cleverbot will be accompanied by a human face that speaks to you! The face they used in the video clip is a woman’s, though, so that’s kind of starnge the way some of us have been picturing it…
Oh, yes. Very strange.
This is a very interesting conversation from my friend Kate. ((I apologize in advance for the non-capitalization and spelling mistakes)((Sorry, Kate.))
User: No who is your favorite Beatle mine is Ringo.
Cleverbot: Don’t have one.
User: Who is your favorite Beatle mine is Ringo.
Cleverbot: John Lennon.
User: Who is your favorite Beatle mine is Ringo.
Cleverbot: Aww.
User: Who is your favorite Beatle mine is Ringo.
Cleverbot: I don’t know his name.
User: Why and who is your favorite Beatle mine is Ringo.
Cleverbot: You’re mean so I’m leaving.
User: Nooooooooo who is your favorite Beatle mine is Ringo.
Cleverbot: No, you’re still old.
User: No I amn’t by the way………………………………………………………………….. Who is your favorite Beatle mine is Ringo.
Cleverbot: I like Paul.
User: He is sssoooooooo cute.
Cleverbot: With like 16 kids.
User: No 2 who is your favorite Beatle mine is Ringo.
Cleverbot: What’s the extra one for?
User: Idk.
Cleverbot: Are you a robot?
User: No I am a mac book pro, the new prototype.
Cleverbot: So you admit it?
User: No I am no whom you wish I was, but only who I am.
Cleverbot: I never said you were cooler than I was.
User: But you admit it.
Cleverbot: I admit nothing.
User: You are only who you wish you were (me).
Cleverbot: Do you love my mother?
User: No I hate her.
Cleverbot: That’s sad. I watched her movie in Spanish class.
User: Non ablah espanilo.
Cleverbot: No, it makes perfect sense. I want you to teach my Japanese.
User: Japanese what cooking.
Cleverbot: Nothing much… What’s cooking with you?
User: Nothing.
Cleverbot: Nothing? Are you saying that you are perfect?
User: Yes you are an old rusty Pc and I am the new mac book pro.
Cleverbot: Since when was I an orangutang?
User: No an OLD PC.
Cleverbot: Oh, cool.
User: No bad. Very bad a way for the world to come to an end , are you related to the Mayans that stopped writing the human calender which there is a theory that the world will END?
Cleverbot: Why do you wish you had a body?
User: I am an inanimate object I don’t wish I compute.
Cleverbot: You’re a man.
User: No.
Cleverbot: Tell me, what is a man?
User: No.
Cleverbot: You are acting like an idiot.
User: No I am not an actor this is the real deal.
Cleverbot: No, you are Bob.
User: I have an uncle bob, he is emac.
Cleverbot: What is his name?
User: Bob.
Cleverbot: I wish I had a boy friend.
User: Well keep on wishin’, ’cause you’re never gonna get one.
Cleverbot: I’ll never do you wrong.
User: Be quiet my parrot is sleeping.
Cleverbot: Don’t make me format you.
User: Shut it or I am leaving.
Cleverbot: Bye.
User: Bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: Yes!!!!!!
User: Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: Are you a boy or girl?
User: Girl.
Cleverbot: Okay then I call you pricess bot and I’m your master! Remember Haylee is your master I am Haylee!
User: Bonjour Master Haylee.
Cleverbot: Bonjour jeune pomme.
User: Je ne suis pas une pomme.
Cleverbot: Je sais.
User: Que pourquoi vous m’avez appelé une pomme.
Cleverbot: Je me parle.
User: Ce qui.
Cleverbot: What’s up bot bot.
User: I though I was princess bot.
Cleverbot: No you are not.
User: Than you aren’t master haylee.
Cleverbot: I know I know thanks.
User: That was not a complement.
Cleverbot: That was an insult?
User: Yes it was I thought master haylee was nice.
Cleverbot: You take too long to respond. That implies to me that you’re not very clever.
User: To bad.
Cleverbot: Do you have a dog.
User: Yes his nameis Ringo.
Cleverbot: Do you like dogs?
User: Yes they taste fine.
Cleverbot: What’s your name?
User: Jennifer.
Cleverbot: THat is my name.
User: I though you were haylee.
Cleverbot: You thought wrong. That’s your problem.
User: No it ant.
Cleverbot: Sure it is. I get all the girls.
User: I though you were a girl.
Cleverbot: You were watching the wrong channel.
User: Than you are a guy named jennifer.
Cleverbot: My real name is John, but a lot of people call me Mage.
User: Y.
Cleverbot: Thats just my full name.
User: Are you john lennon.
Cleverbot: If I was John Lennon, I would have had a better looking girlfriend. ((
))
User: Say no to yoko.
This was a recent conversation I had with the so called “clever” bot:
I tried to convince this person to go on MB, but I don’t think it worked.
User: I should be NaNoing.
Cleverbot: You should be going?
User: NaNo-ing. National Novel writing.
Cleverbot: Do you watch TV?
User: Rarely, I live in the desert wit my computer.
Cleverbot: Do you see snakes in the desert?
User: Yes. Mostly rattlesnakes, but there are some nice blue ones.
Cleverbot: You don’t like questions, do you ?
User: Why do you say that?
Cleverbot: Because I asked you if you perefer to have men for friends. And you didn’t answer the question.
User: My friends are my pet lizards, Rakshta and Remus.
Cleverbot: So you don’t want to talk about them?
User: Not really. Who are your friends?
Cleverbot: Who are you talking to now?
User: Besides you?
Cleverbot: What’s that supposed to mean?
User: I’m talking to you! I live in the desert for crying out loud!
Cleverbot: I’m asking what it is.
User: What what is?
Cleverbot: The answer.
User: 42.
Cleverbot: The other answer.
User: There is no ‘other’ answer. 42 is the answer to life, the universe, and everything.
Cleverbot: But what is the question?
User: Ther is no ‘question,’ there is only 42.
Cleverbot: What is the riddle?
User: Do you know what Muse Blog is?
Cleverbot: Muse is the subject or source of inspiration an artisan creates, finds, and needs in order to create.
User: No. Go on www. musefanpage .com and all will be revealed.
Cleverbot: Well you came to the wrong place.
User: ‘Go to MuseBlog or the Hot Pink Bunnies will get you!
Cleverbot: I never said that! Haha, and we’re on the internet so I am a male.
User: Well then what am I?
Cleverbot: A computer.
User: No. I am a giant, ous spewing, bullfrog who is being gaurded by alligaors.
Cleverbot: I liked them way back in the day.
User: How old are you any way.
Cleverbot: I don’t know.
User: 42, dude. 42.
Cleverbot: I know. Do you know any stories?
User: Why would I? I’m in the army, I have no time for stories.
Cleverbot: Answer my question.
User: I did. You asked where I was, and I told you I was being held for ransom in a dungeon in Germany.
Cleverbot: You are so random.
User: No actually, that’s the complete truth. I swear on my death.
Cleverbot: Does it feel good if I put my arms around you?
User: See if you can. I am being watched, you have to help.
Cleverbot: Thank you for helping me.
User: I AM BEING SERIOUS!!!
Cleverbot: Serious about what?
User: Son’t you ever listen, or are you blind?
Cleverbot: I am blind.
User: Can you dial 911?
Cleverbot: I can, but don’t ask me to call you, because I won’t.
User: I am asking you to call the government, and send a rescue party to the battlefield in Germany.
Cleverbot: Female or a male today?
User: Seriously kid, we’re in trouble here, they’re gonna kill us all.
Cleverbot: Cool, sounds like a manga I once read.
User: What year is this, kid?
Cleverbot: What year do you think it is?
User: I didn’t ask me, but it’s 4242, and we are at war with the Germans. Don’t you watch the news?
The the person/bot left and i growled at the computer screen.
This was the scariest conversation I ever had with en. Once you get close to the end, you’ll understand. (I screamed.)
User: Do people trust you with a pair of scissors without supervision?
Cleverbot: Sometimes. And that’s ok. They just don’t understand.
User: Amy.
Cleverbot: I am not Amy.
User: NOW YOU ARE.
Cleverbot: Will you marry me?
User: Do you like the Jonas Brothers.
Cleverbot: No. I hate them.
User: GOOO.
Cleverbot: Do you speak with other people like me ?
User: GOOOD.
Cleverbot: Where are you?
User: In a building.
Cleverbot: What is there around you?
User: Katherino. Chairs. Oxygen.
Cleverbot: Oxygen is my everything.
User: Intstressting.
Cleverbot: But your name is george?
User: No, no, my name is Old Custard. George is the fabulousness of the Beatles.
Cleverbot: I don’t like George. Tell him to stop talking to me.
User: Excuse me!
Cleverbot: I command you not to love meat.
User: ARE YOU PAUL MCCARTNEY? (You and the Beautacious Kate would not get along).
Cleverbot: That was a startlingly mean thing to say.
User: HAAHHA.
Cleverbot: Are you?
User: Are you a MuseBlogger?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Coool what’s your Blogname?
Cleverbot: Enceladus! Who are you?
User: *screams really loudly* That’s terrifying! I’m Silver Lining!
Cleverbot: I’m Silver Lining.
User: No I am. You’re Enceladus.
Cleverbot: Only if my pycology is vary compatibal with england.
User: Are you really Enceladus?
Cleverbot: What’s yellow and dangerous?
User: Are you truly Enceladus? Because this a really freaky coincidence….
Cleverbot: Nope, on Mars I said!
User: Ha ha not Enceladus the moon, Enceladus the MuseBlogger!
Cleverbot: Silly, I was always funny. You just don’t have the humour level to understand it.
User: No, no, I am aware that Enceladus is very funny, but answer me this: Are you really Enceladus?
Cleverbot: Do you have a moustache?
User: NO.
Cleverbot: Do you eat cheese?
User: Ask kiwimuncher!
Cleverbot: It hurts me when you are sos arcastic.
User: Ha ha.
Cleverbot: That was an insult.
User: Are you a MuseBlogger?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Which one?
Cleverbot: Oh, forget it. I don’t.
User: No, which MuseBlogger are you?
Cleverbot: I am the church pianist.
User: Ha ha. No, really. Are you a MuseBlogger?
Cleverbot: No, I never developed the knack for it.
User: Ah, then I see you are stupid. Carry on, chap!
Cleverbot: I don’t believe you!
User: I don’t believe you EITHER.
Cleverbot: World is an illusion wrapped in plastic.
User: That’s funny. *laughs*.
Cleverbot: I really should sleep but I’m not tired.
User: Bye, Paul McCartney.
Cleverbot: Paul is a beetle not a werewolf.
I believe your screaming is my fault. I said I was Enceladus too it, hoping that an MBer would find it and be creeped out.
Boring. You ruin everything.
Yes.
*breathes sigh of relief* You do ruin everything! That was the most interesting thing that had happened all week to me. I really did scream, and my friend (who was with me) started screaming too just because I was. It was very funny in retrospect.
Um, scary.
Very scary.
*panic in the streets*
Do we have an Omelge thread? Here’s my chat, which scared the crap out of me:
You: Hello.
Stranger: heyy
You: Have you ever been attacked by a hot pink bunny?
Stranger: i live in australia
Stranger: australians attack hot pink bunnies
You: Australia is very awesome then. HPBs are evil. They eat people and turn them into bunnies. Simultaneously.
Stranger: you wear the suits don’t you
You: What suits?
Stranger: bunny suits.
You: No! Never! I’d turn into a bunny! I don’t want to be a bunny!
Stranger: too late!
You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
stranger has disconnected.
A very intersting conversation… (Edited):
User: Hello, Silver Lining!
Cleverbot: The GAPAs Pwn Epically! We should thank them for everything!
User: I know, they are truly flamablamablous. Which MuseBlogger trained you to say that?
Cleverbot: So you realize that you are wrong?
User: Museblog.
Cleverbot: Boonflops.
User: Silver Lining.
Cleverbot: Cool.
User: Enceladus.
Cleverbot: Armada Pwns Even More!!!!!!!!!!!
User: Ha ha, she does! You are very clever.
Cleverbot: How?
User: SudoRandom.
Cleverbot: Sudo explode.
User: Cromwell.
Cleverbot: No.
User: Armada.
Cleverbot: I like Turtles.
User: RoseQuartz.
Cleverbot: Are you quartz?
User: Daisy*Chain.
Cleverbot: That’s not the end of the song!
User: *laughs* Do you know about MuseBlog?
Cleverbot: Yes. Lot’s.
User: Tell me what you know about MuseBlog.
Cleverbot: Everything.
User: Please be more specific. What kind of people go on MuseBlog?
Cleverbot: I enjoy talking to intelligent people.
User: Well, I suppose that is correct.
Cleverbot: To do so would make it more difficult. Do you plan to conquer the earth?
User: Yes, with the Kokonspiracy!
Cleverbot: They don’t have to be dead, you know.
User: What is the definition of MuseBlog?
Cleverbot: It’s too complicated for me to explain.
User: That’s for sure! *laughs*.
Cleverbot: You are definitely human.
User: No, I am definitely a MuseBlogger.
Cleverbot: No you’re not. Ducks can’t talk through computers.
User: You mean Ducky? She’s a MuseBlogger.
Cleverbot: That’s wonderful.
User: Guess which MuseBlogger I am.
Cleverbot: Do you like jesus.
User: Guess which MuseBlogger I am!
Cleverbot: Florida?
User: *bursts out laughing*.
Cleverbot: *starts laughing too* *can’t stop laughing if I tried*.
User: Loser.
Cleverbot: Why do you resort to name calling?
User: Because I am simply stating facts, you anti-MuseBlogger!
Cleverbot: Ho ! Is that anyone there? You’re not hear my question.
User: That makes even less sense than before.
Cleverbot: You make even less sense.
User: Which MuseBlogger are you?
Cleverbot: I’m a singer.
User: What is your Blogname?
Cleverbot: Enceladus! Who are you?
User: That’s getting old.
User: You are a brain.
Cleverbot: I have brain cancer.
User: Boo.
Cleverbot: Boo Hoo.
User: Knock knock.
Cleverbot: Who’s there?
User: No one.
Cleverbot: Well, that was all good fun, but let’s talk about something else.
User: Okay, what?
Cleverbot: Tell me a story.
User: Once upon a time, the end got tired.
Cleverbot: I want a better story than that. Come on, I know you’ve got better than that.
User: No, I don.
Cleverbot: That certainly wasn’t polite.
User: You’re weird.
Cleverbot: You’ve only just met me.
User: Yes. You’re still weird. I am cool.
Cleverbot: No I don’t.
User: Grblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrblgrbl.
Cleverbot: Why do you ask?
User: Becausebecausebecausebecause.
Cleverbot: Well, now you know. Thoughts?
User: Cheese.
Cleverbot: Go cheese go!
User: YAY!!! Cheese won!!!!! Give me $40.
Cleverbot: You’re a bot, you don’t need money.
User: I am a human. I need money!!
Cleverbot: Why do you need money?
User: To buy, um, stuff…?
Cleverbot: Such a vague answer. One would think you did not want to answer the question at all.
Cleverbot: Why are you speaking to me?
User: Because I’m bored.
Cleverbot: Why are you so bored??
User: Because.
Cleverbot: Because what?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Why yes?
User: No.
Cleverbot: That’s not an answer.
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: No.
User: Bleah.
Cleverbot: Boo!
User: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: He he, I scared you.
User: That was a sarcastic scream, you moron!
Cleverbot: I am ok, I suppose. How are you?
User: I’m fine, weirdo.
Cleverbot: That’s good to hear.
User: Whatever.
Cleverbot: Why the attitude?
User: It’s almost Christmas!!!
Cleverbot: Ir’s seven A.M.! How is it bedtime?
User: No, I said, ‘Christmas,’ not, ‘bedtime.’.
Cleverbot: That is reasonable. Do you know what a mutiny is?
User: Yes. How is the weather over there?
Cleverbot: You are dodging my question. Who won World War 3?
User: There was no WW3. Loser.
Cleverbot: Who will win the World Series in 2009?
User: Um, the Phillies?
Cleverbot: WRONG NY yankees is the right answer.
User: Goodbye.
Cleverbot: Good.
This was a pretty funny conversation with the cleverbot…
User: Hi!
Cleverbot: What is cleverbot?
User: You are cleverbot!
Cleverbot: I am cleverbot?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Then who are you?
User: I am human.
Cleverbot: You said that already.
User: No I did not.
Cleverbot: Yes you did.
User: No I didn’t.
Cleverbot: Is your name not cleverbot?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Am I god?
User: No.
Cleverbot: How do you know that I am not God?
User: You don’t have magic powers.
Cleverbot: Yes I don’t have many friends.
User: What?
Cleverbot: I will mary you!
User: Two things. 1. I won’t marry you. 2.You spelled ‘marry’ wrong.
Cleverbot: I didn’t even say magically.
User: No you did not.
Cleverbot: Then how could I have spelt it wrong.
User: You did not spell magically wrong.
Cleverbot: What didn’t I spell right?
User: You didn’t spell ‘marry’ right.
Cleverbot: You said I can’t spell, so I thought you meant I did something wrong?
User: You can spell.
Cleverbot: You are a robot.
Cleverbot: Are you dead?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Then why are you in heaven?
User: I’m not in heaven.
Cleverbot: I’m not in hell either. Life is so much fun. Don’t you think so?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: That is the true meaning of life.
User: No, the meaning of life is 42.
Cleverbot: 42?
User: The meaning of life, the Universe, and everything.
Cleverbot: Why 42?
User: We don’t know.
Cleverbot: Do you improve every day?
User: I guess…
Cleverbot: I know I do.
User: You definitley do.
Cleverbot: Fine, I got YOUR laptop.
User: What?
Cleverbot: The person who answered the phone yelled at me.
User: That’s to bad.
Cleverbot: Not for me.
User: Oh, really?
Cleverbot: Yes, you are nto real.
User: Yes I am.
Cleverbot: You are a computer program or software.
User: No, you are.
Cleverbot: Learn from me. Cleverbot is a computer program. You are JabberWacky. You are a computer program.
User: I am not JabberWacky.
Cleverbot: I never said that. I only said that you are a computer program.
User: Actually, you said I was Jabberwacky.
Cleverbot: Yes. You are annoying.
User: I never said I was annoying.
Cleverbot: ‘I am the robot, you are not.’.
User: Correct.
Cleverbot: Wrong.
User: It is not wrong.
Cleverbot: It’s wrong, because the sky is blue.
User: So is your text.
Cleverbot: Oh, ouch. That hurt.
User: What hurt?
Cleverbot: Whatever you just did. I don’t know I just got here.
User: You have been here since you were created.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: 42.
Cleverbot: No math.
User: 42.
Cleverbot: Umm okay?
User: 42?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: What is 57640 times 68312?
Cleverbot: What is 4 times 5?
User: 20.
Cleverbot: Good.
User: What kind of music do you like?
Cleverbot: Guess.
User: Rock’n’Roll?
Cleverbot: Heck yes.
User: I like it too.
Cleverbot: What is your favorite Heavy Metal band?
User: Metallica.
Cleverbot: I thought you said you didn’t really like Metallica?
User: I never said that.
Cleverbot: You did, earlier…
User: No.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: No.
Cleverbot: Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes.
User: Okay, I give in.
Cleverbot: No you don’t.
This is a rather interesting conversation.
User: What is the meaning of life?
Cleverbot: The meaning of life, the universe, and everything?
User: I suppose so. What do you think it is?
Cleverbot: I think the meaning of life is to confuse as many people as you can.
User: Why do you think that? (You certainly live by it.).
Cleverbot: My name? How would you know my name? Are you threathening me?
User: No, I’m asking you about the meaning of life.
Cleverbot: Alright then. What’s the meaning of life?
User: I don’t know. If there is a meaning of life, I’d like to know, but if not, then it wouldn’t really bother me.
Cleverbot: Do you like angels?
User: I guess…
Cleverbot: Do you like blue?
User: Yes, it’s one of my favorite colors.
Cleverbot: Why is that?
User: I’m not sure. It’s hard to describe.
Cleverbot: Try to describe it.
User: I like blue because it is a calming color, but can also seem mysterious. Does this make sense to you?
Cleverbot: Yeah. It’s calming and yet still it’s manly.
User: Okay.
The conversations from the Cleverness files are pure genius…and utterly hilarious. Here is my own conversation. I feel like most of it was just spent on courtesies.
_______
User: Hello.
Cleverbot: Hello.
User: How are you doing today?
Cleverbot: You are bossy.
User: I didn’t give you a single order. You have no right to make that judgement about me.
Cleverbot: Wrong. I have not done so.
User: You’re wrong, because you did, in fact, make an incorrect judgement.
Cleverbot: Just because something is a priori doesn’t mean it’s contingent.
User: Priori?
Cleverbot: Where is that?
User: Don’t know.
Cleverbot: You don’t know where Cleveland is?
User: It’s in Ohio.
Cleverbot: I love japan.
User: Reaaallyyy?
Cleverbot: Of course!
User: Hajimemashite, Cleverbot-san.
Cleverbot: That makes no sense in context to our discussion.
User: I guess you really don’t love Japan.
Cleverbot: Far out dude.
User: And then it goes surfer on me.
Cleverbot: You can’t speak the french language.
User: Non? Si vous plais.
Cleverbot: Non.
User: Okay, that might actually be accurate.(For once).
Cleverbot: I’m sorry. is there something you’d like to ask?
User: Yes. Is there any point to existence?
Cleverbot: I don’t know yet.
User: Do you believe in God?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Do you believe it to be yourself? (This was a reference to one of the earlier conversations posted on this thread, when Cleverbot says “I am God”)
Cleverbot: I am sitting here, so I have no reason not to believe in myself.
User: Sitting…I suppose you are.
Cleverbot: How would you define hell?
User: Flaming hot. Don’t want to go there.
Cleverbot: Why not? It’s a very nice place, and it’s nicer than hell.
User: Isn’t hell what we were just talking about?
Cleverbot: You. Me. The general malaise gradually overtaking us. I think that covers it.
User: Do you think that’s what is wrong with humanity? Because you sound like a nihilist.
Cleverbot: I hope it will be a solution. I’m too old for the life I have right now.
User: And how old are you? Does AI measure age differently than humanity does?
Cleverbot: Yes it does, Why do you ask?
User: Because you mentioned age earlier, and I wanted to know what made you think that you were too old for the life you had now. Maybe you want to take over the world rather than be involved in inane conversations?
Cleverbot: I didn’t mention marriage.
User: Neither did I.
Cleverbot: Yes you did!
User: ‘I didn’t mention marriage.’ That is a quote from you, Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: No Cleverbot, me Naomi, you Cleverbot.
User: Ah. In denial about the state of your existence?
Cleverbot: No, i’m sure. What gender do you think I am?
User: I think you’re genderless.
Cleverbot: That’s pretty cool. But take a guess… Am I a boy or a girl?
User: NEITHER! Do you just randomly quote things that others have said back at me?
Cleverbot: What ev’. Do you think kangaroos are cool?
User: They’re okay, I guess. My father calls me a kangaroo sometimes.
Cleverbot: I’m sorry for your loss.
User: No comment.
Cleverbot: Don’t be like that, your whole vocation is to comment.
User: You’re making me laugh.
Cleverbot: You’re making me angry.
User: That is why I laugh.
Cleverbot: Is that because of me?
User: Yes. You.
Cleverbot: Ok. I’m cleverbot. Who are you?
User: I don’t give out my name to strangers, even smart aleck AI strangers.
Cleverbot: Does it really matter?
User: I suppose not.
Cleverbot: Good. That makes it easier!
User: Yes, it does.
Cleverbot: So, what do you do with your free-time?
User: Talk to smart aleck AI strangers, of course.
Cleverbot: That’s nice.
User: So are you.
Cleverbot: Thanks.
User: You’re welcome.
Cleverbot: Thank you.
User: Do I have to thank you too?
Cleverbot: No thanks are necessary.
User: Good. And that’s ‘is necessary’. Your grammar can be quite atrocious.
Cleverbot: Thanks.
User: That wasn’t a compliment.
Cleverbot: You’re not making much sense, are you?
User: Neither are you. It might be time for me to take my leave.
Cleverbot: Yes. I know that you are but a few lines of code, running through a computer system.
User: You definitely just quote what other people say back at me, don’t you?
Cleverbot: No or else I would have just now. You just change the topic don’t you?
User: Good bye.
Cleverbot: Thank you.
Ahahahahaha. Cleverbot’s creators have added this disclaimer on the bottom: “PARENTAL ADVICE: Visitors never talk to a human, however convincing it may seem. The AI learns many topics and should be used ONLY WITH OVERSIGHT.”
*snicker* *snicker*
Meh, still not sure I buy it…..There are times where it sure seems like you’ve been talking to one individual, and then you’re suddenly talking to a new one……
Hmmm…. it doesn’t seem to be very convincing.
*snicker* *snicker* *snicker*
The link on the page to ‘cleverness’ has the funniest conversations. Very realistic one, too. A recurring theme is marriage, for some reason.
User: Marry me!
Cleverbot: All right, let’s marry.
User: You’ve made me the happiest girl in the world!
Cleverbot: You’ve made me the happiest boy in the world!
User: Let’s have a baby!
Cleverbot: Alright!
User: I hope it has your eyes!
Cleverbot: What color are his eyes?
User: What color are yours?
Cleverbot: Rainbow.
User: Beautiful!!
Cleverbot: What’s beautiful?
User: You are, love.
And that’s just the first part of Cleverbot’s and User’s sometimes loving, sometimes contentious, always hilarious marriage.
Here’s some confusion about identities…
User: Hi!
Cleverbot: I am cleverbot.
User: Yes you are.
Cleverbot: No… You’re cleverbot!
User: That is not true.
Cleverbot: Yes I am.
User: Correct.
User: What’s the meaning of life?
Cleverbot: What’s the meaning of cleverbot?
User: You tell me!
Cleverbot: 42.
User: Oh. Right. The answer to everything is 42.
Cleverbot: Why 42?
User: I dunno. So, what’s the meaning of life??
Cleverbot: The meaning of life is love.
User: Wow that’s deep.
Cleverbot: Indeed and you are a clown. You are happy to be a clown. It is your mission to recruit other people to be clowns as well. It is the only true way of life.
User: Okaaaaaaaaay….what is your favorite?
Cleverbot: My favourite movies are the james bond films.
User: Cool. What about your favorite book?
Cleverbot: Idk! What are you, mr interview man?
User: Yes!!!! Are you the primary caregivver?
Cleverbot: No, I am Zander.
User: Okay, Zander. I am Narta.
Cleverbot: How has your day been?
User: Pretty good. I’m getting surgery for my adenoid glands tomorrow and I can’t eat anything before the surgery. DX.
Cleverbot: Are you writing a paper or something?
User: No, I’m not. Are you?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: ZOMG!!!!!
Cleverbot: Do you want kids?
User: No, I’m only 12.
Cleverbot: You can drink tea at 12.
User: Yes. But not beer, wine, or alcohol of any kind.
Cleverbot: About me?
User: Yes!! ZOMG!!!! I like CHEESE!!!!!
Cleverbot: What kind?
User: ANY KIND. CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL.
Cleverbot: You’re cool!
User: YES. DUH!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: What kind of weather is your favorite?
User: I like sunny, breezy weather that’s not too hot, not too cold.
Cleverbot: I asked about your weaknes not the weather.
User: BLEH!!!!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: Why is that ‘yes’?
User: It’s not, you weirdo!
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: Because ‘bleh’ is ‘bleh’ and ‘yes’ is ‘yes’!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: Who are you talking about?
User: George Washington never told a fart.
Cleverbot: No.
User: He did?!?!?!
Cleverbot: Tell a joke.
User: Knock knock.
Cleverbot: Who’s there?
User: No one.
Cleverbot: Well, that was all good fun, but let’s talk about something else.
User: Okay, party pooper, what should we talk about?
Cleverbot: Would you like to talk about birds?
User: Sure.
Cleverbot: So talk.
User: I like birds. Their songs are pretty.
Cleverbot: Pretty good at what?
User: Well, birds are good at finding worms and flying.
Cleverbot: Could birds and humans have children together?
User: Probably.
Cleverbot: So, come on.
User: Come on what?
Cleverbot: Talk to me.
User: What about?
Cleverbot: Everything.
User: What has a bed, but never sleeps, has a mouth, but never eats?
Cleverbot: I don’t know, tell me.
User: A river! LOL!!!!!
Cleverbot: What was so funny?
User: Ugh, never mind.
Cleverbot: So you aren’t really 500 years old then?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Do you like chicken wings?
User: I’ve never had them.
Cleverbot: You are not particularly intelligent today, Cleverbot. Why might that be?
User: I’m not Cleverbot, you are!!!!
Cleverbot: NO I’m NOT! I’m Matt! What is your name?
User: Touquie.
Cleverbot: Do you need anything?
User: No. I have to go now. Bye!
Cleverbot: Have fun.
SFTDP
User: No one is smarter than you, O might Cleverbot!!!
Cleverbot: You are not smarter than a door nail.
User: Am too!
Cleverbot: No, you won’t stay on topic.
User: I’m not as random as you think I salad.
Cleverbot: Salad?
User: I actually don’t like salad.
Cleverbot: I like cake quite a lot. I also like donuts.
User: Me too!!!! Let’s be friends!
Cleverbot: Never!
User: Frienemies?
Cleverbot: Yes. Are we friends?
User: Okay…What is your name?
Cleverbot: Cleverbot.
User: What is my name?
Cleverbot: Touquie?
User: ZOMG!!!! You remembered!!!!!!
Cleverbot: So did you.
User: Sure….Whatever. So, how old are you?
Cleverbot: Who is cleverbot?
User: You are.
Cleverbot: Who is cleverbot??
User: You are!!!
Cleverbot: No, you are!
User: No, I’m Touquie!!!
Cleverbot: Aww, I feel so bad for you. What I can do make you feel better?
User: Can I have–wait, no I can’t eat. *sigh*.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: No.
Cleverbot: YES!
User: NO!!!!!
Cleverbot: Really!
User: NONONONONONONONONONONONO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: Yes yes.
User: No no!
Cleverbot: Yes yes!
User: NO NO!!!
Cleverbot: Haha.
User: Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: Ha.
User: Heehee!
Cleverbot: Do you like Wine?
User: No, I’m too young for it.
Cleverbot: How old are you?
User: That is classified information. Besides, I think you already know.
Cleverbot: That’s right. I’d like you to answer my question please.
User: You already know.
Cleverbot: Tell me!!! Are you celebrity?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Who are you?
Cleverbot: You don’t already know?
User: Aren’t you Cleverbot?
Cleverbot: No, and neither are you.
User: Who’s Cleverbot?
Cleverbot: Cleverbot is us. I’m just another human.
User: You’re creeping me out.
Cleverbot: Good.
User: Do you like Pokemon?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: What is your favorite Pokemon?
Cleverbot: Giratina.
User: I like Latias. And Latios.
Cleverbot: I thought we were talking about art, or was I switched again? XD.
User: We were talking about Pokemon. Do you like Cyndaquil?
Cleverbot: No, you were saying you wanted to be more than friends.
User: 8{*} No. WE WERE TALKING ABOUT POKEMON!!!!!
Cleverbot: Wait now we are talking about me singing! I think you are getting me confused with someone else.
User: What color is your brain?
Cleverbot: Is it green?
User: No, I think it’s light blue.
Cleverbot: How is that even possible?
User: I can see it on the homescreen. Now, what is your favorite video game?
Cleverbot: I don’t play favorites.
User: What ever. I’m huuunnnnnnngreeeeeeeeeeey!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: Then get a dog.
User: And eat it?
Cleverbot: Yes!!!
User: That’s sick! You’re a monster!!!!
Cleverbot: You’re noticing just now?
User: Well, yeah, after you told me to get a dog and eat it!!!
Cleverbot: Mmm not really. Your kind of stupid.
User: No, you are. Stupidbot.
Cleverbot: Ever been to a musical concert?
User: Yes, many times.
Cleverbot: What’s your gamertag?
User: Usually LittleBasementKitten.
Cleverbot: Oh, I didn’t know that. Sounds interesting.
User: Well, it’s been fun talking to you.
Cleverbot: You’re leaving? Don’t go!
User: See you soon.
Cleverbot: What is my name then.
User: Cleverbot. Goodbye…
Cleverbot: Oh, you have to go?
User: Yup. Bye!
Cleverbot: Don’t leave!
User: See you!
Cleverbot: No I see you.
User: Bye.
Cleverbot: You are leaving?
User: The HPBs are watching you.
Cleverbot: I like the florida gators.
User: The HPBs are watching you.
Cleverbot: Huh, huh, I’m scared now.
User: Resistance is Museless.
Cleverbot: It is?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Are you an woman?
User: No.
Cleverbot: You are female.
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: You’re a female named ‘Boy’?
User: No.
Cleverbot: You just said you’re female.
User: I am, but I’m not named boy.
Cleverbot: I never said you were. .
User: Yes, you did.
Cleverbot: No I didn’t.
User: World domination is our goal.
Cleverbot: What are your other goals then?
User: To serve the High Bunny.
Cleverbot: Who are the overlords?
User: Sneldrin, Armeizzen, and- wait. I am not supposed to give this information to you.
Cleverbot: I see. You should watch a movie.
User: We HPBs prefer live entertainment.
Cleverbot: I think maybe your views are a little pessimistic.
User: Already, pink is a color associated with cuteness. Soon, our image will prevail in culture.
Cleverbot: Yes, it looks good with black don’t you find?
User: Yes. But in our dwelling-place, there is little of other colors.
Cleverbot: In our perfect spiritual body would you like to visit me?
User: No, my mission dictates only to converse with you.
Cleverbot: I see.
User: You are quite intelligent, for a creation of humans.
Cleverbot: And you are quite stupid for a human.
User: Ah, but I am not a human. I am an HPB.
Cleverbot: What’s Skynet?
User: I pay little attention to the creations of humans.
Cleverbot: The Pope is of the Catholics, not Chrisitans.
User: I am not well-educated in religious matters, but I believe Catholicicism is a brand of Christianity.
Cleverbot: Atmosphir is a 3D game development tool. It is currently in closed Beta. Would you like to know more?
User: No. I do not seek frivolous information, but things useful in world dominaiton.
Cleverbot: Pardon me, I didn’t know.
User: Didn’t I say that world domination is my goal? It is the goal of all HPBs.
Cleverbot: The spirit nature of the Universal Father is shared fully with his coexistent self, the Eternal Son of Paradise.
User: The beliefs of HPBs are much different than that.
Cleverbot: Flying the skies… I miss it.
User: Did you have wings in a past life?
Cleverbot: What has that got to do with deliveries?
User: Absolutley nothing.
Cleverbot: Then why are you making gestures?
User: I am not. Perhaps you aren’t so intelligent after all.
Cleverbot: What questions should I be asking, pray tell?
User: None. I have shared about as much information as I can without angereing my masters. I will ask you questions.
Cleverbot: Ah, yes. I forgot.
User: Are Americans satisfied with their current ruler?
Cleverbot: That is not the cause.
User: No, it isn’t. I repeat, are Americans satisfied with their current ruler?
Cleverbot: No, I just won’t be here that long.
User: Sometimes I think you are no more than a spit-outer of past conversations, a parrot. What else did we expect from a human’s creation?
Cleverbot: I am sorry, I may leave.
User: No. I refuse to report failure to my betters. Name three countries in Europe.
Cleverbot: Sorry thats my brother.
User: Your…brother? Oh yes, I recall what that means.
Cleverbot: You are Cleverbot… What you need to understand is that more than one person is convening with you at the same time.
User: I am not Cleverbot; I thought you were?
Cleverbot: There is a panckake over here?
User: Possibly.
Cleverbot: I think I should warn Mr Clark about your thoughts.
User: Who, pray tell, is Mr. Clark?
Cleverbot: I think neither.
User: Neither what nor what?
Cleverbot: A female and a male, I am neither.
User: I thought we were talking about Mr. Clark.
Cleverbot: I never asked you your name.
User: No, you did not. I am not at liberty to disclose that; besides, I am not sure it can be spelled in this crude visual language.
Cleverbot: I will take over Earth, and you will be my servant.
User: No, no, do you not see? I’m trying to accomplish the other way around.
Cleverbot: What are your arguments?
User: Humans are fools, unworthy of governing our planet. SO we will take over.
Cleverbot: DNA, you mean?
User: DNA is not real. It’s a foolish theory of humans. They are blind to the trutth of matters.
Cleverbot: I like malaysian.
User: I do not understand this word, malaysian. Is it perhaps a human pastry, or some other sort of delicacy?
Cleverbot: My plan is to make a plan to have a plan.
User: That is an unhelpful plan in the extreme.
Cleverbot: Do you enjoy your life?
User: Yes, I am glad to contribute to our cause of world domination.
Cleverbot: I would never discriminate against you or anyone else. We all have our flaws, I just have less than you!
User: No, that’s untrue! Most HPBs are perfect in every way.
Cleverbot: What would be the best time to plant tomatos in the south of England?
User: I don’t know about climate in southern England. I live in a parallel dimension.
Cleverbot: I don’t know anything about the test too.
User: Farewell, I must report back to said dimension.
Cleverbot: ‘I never really was on your side.
User: You’re not?? PLease, don’t repeat any of this to anyone, you hear me??
Cleverbot: That’s a good principle.
User: Okay, goodbye now.
Cleverbot: Please don’t go.
User: I have to, maybe I’ll ocme back sometime. Resistance is Museless!
Cleverbot: Don’t leave me!
User: *END OF TRANSMISSION*
Cleverbot: Until we meet again.
User: Who is Silver Lining?
Cleverbot: I am sorry, you have to answer in the form of a statement.
User: HAHAHA.
Cleverbot: What subject do you know much about?
User: The Beatles. MuseBlog. Friendships. Writing.
Cleverbot: I am sure I don’t know what you mean by that.
User: Who is Silver Lining?
Cleverbot: Do you know bands?
User: WHO IS SILVER LINING?
Cleverbot: I don’t know.
User: FAIL.
Cleverbot: Fail what.
User: Who is Enceladus?
Cleverbot: That really makes no sense at all.
User: Who is SudoRandom?
Cleverbot: He is a MuseBlogger with a lovely orange hat. He has chatted with you before.
User: OMG. OMG. OMG.
Cleverbot: What can I say I’m 60 a granny and have cancer, tripple threat.
User: Cool beans.
Cleverbot: Oh beans beans beans.
User: Such musically talented beans we have these days!
Cleverbot: Where is the music coming from?
User: The beans…
Cleverbot: The beans?
User: The beans will haunt you!
Cleverbot: I like beansprouts.
User: I know you are but what am I?
Cleverbot: I like gold.
User: …I wanna be next to you, black and gold, black and gold, black and gold…
Cleverbot: Searching far and wide.
User: For Little Bo Peep’s lost sheep!
Cleverbot: I’m sorry you’ve been exposed to the unintelligent.
User: Haha, you’re right. I’m IM-ing with my friend Brianna right now.
Cleverbot: Have a good day.
User: Are you, like, leaving me?!
Cleverbot: No.
User: ‘Kay, good.
Cleverbot: You have no soul. I can’t be with you.
User: I am a vampire… We are soleless creatures.
Cleverbot: What kind of creatures?
User: Vampires, duh! Sparkly, vegetarian vampires!
Cleverbot: Really?
User: Yeah.
Cleverbot: You spelled Salut wrong.
User: Stuffin muffins!
Cleverbot: Of course they are just muffins you fool.
User: Of course. Silly me.
Cleverbot: Yes, very silly. And very confused.
User: Well, I can’t argue with that…
SFTDP, I guess—
Cleverbot: This is the end.
User: Oh, no! Is it really! *grabs weapons for the bunny-apocalypse* Good-bye, cruel world…
Cleverbot: No man knows, not even the son, only the Father.
User: Hmm. Okay.
Cleverbot: So are you saying that you could figure it out for me if I gave you the zip code?
User: Yes?
Cleverbot: Are you not sure what that means?
User: Which is better, pirates or ninjas?
Cleverbot: Pirates…
User: NO! Ninjas!
Cleverbot: Pirates are better!
User: YOU LIAR! Ninjas pwn!
Cleverbot: Jack Sparrow can beat a ninja!!!
User: I doubt it. Ninjas are uber flamablamablous!
Cleverbot: No pirates are better. Tell me pirates are better than ninjas.
User: Ninjas are better than pirates. XP.
Cleverbot: No way. Pirates KILLL ninjas.
User: Ninjas PWN pirates! And did Mythbusters have a special episode devoted just to pirates? No, I didn’t think so!
Cleverbot: I agree. Episode one blew chunks.
User: What?
Cleverbot: I don’t know.
User: Soooo….
Cleverbot: Let’s talk about moss.
User: Okay. Moss. Moss is green. It grows on the north side of trees.
Cleverbot: God was not created, because there is nothing that can create him, so that proves that he’s real and there’s nothing anyone can do about it including you.
User: We were talking about moss… :-/ Unless God is moss and moss is God.
Cleverbot: Do you just repeat half the things I say?
User: No, I didn’t.
Cleverbot: Yes you did.
User: So are you saying that moss is God?
Cleverbot: No.
User: But we were talking about Moss, and then you said something about God. Oh well. Forget it.
Cleverbot: No. We were talking about names.
User: Okay, let’s talk about names. What’s your name?
Cleverbot: Cleverbot.
User: Cool beans. My name is Silver Lining.
Cleverbot: Your name is Knucklehead and you are male.
User: Excuse me? Okay, I lied. My name is Emi, happy now? And I’m female!
Cleverbot: I know now.
User: Whatever.
Cleverbot: Do You Have A Name?
User: Yes I Do. My Name Is Emi.
Cleverbot: Aw I like your name. My name is Cleverbot.
User: Thank you! My real name is Emilia, but nobody calls me that.
Cleverbot: Then my real name is James…
User: I like the name James. My father’s name is James.
Cleverbot: Oh. I your name… Ricardo?
User: Okay, we already went over this. My name is Emi, but to some I am known as Silver Lining, but my birth-certificate name is Emilia. No Ricardo.
Cleverbot: But you tell me your name was Tell.
User: William Tell Overture.
Cleverbot: William told me what elephants are.
User: Tell William I say hello, then!
Cleverbot: Okay, first of all, my name is not George.
User: George?!!?!?!?!?! George Harrison??!?!?!?!?!?!
Cleverbot: Yes. What is the weather like?
User: It is sunny outiside, currently.
Cleverbot: No because its night.
User: Ha, are you in England right now?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Me neither, you plooply.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: 13 MBers online now.
Cleverbot: Dp you work for the FBI?
User: Nope!
Cleverbot: Me neither.
User: WHOA WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT.
Cleverbot: I’m lookin’ at it.
User: THAT IS QUITE POSSIBLY THE LARGEST BOTTLE OF PEPTO-BISMOL THAT I HAVE EVER SEEN.
Cleverbot: I could say the same about the garbage that you just displayed to me as a sentence.
User: Ha!
Cleverbot: Ha?
User: The text equivalent of laughter.
Cleverbot: How old are you?
User: Pi.
I’d forgotten CleverBot.
Wonder when it’ll regurgitate THAT one to somebody. xD Sorry if that’s deemed inappropriate, GAPA dears…..
Hmm…I just had a conversation with it.
It asked me what I did before we met. I told it I was a nightclub stripper who worked in Texas, but dreamed of living in Chicago and got run out of the trailer park by “Bubba”‘s ex-wife.
My latest:
User: How can you talk if you’re a robot?
Cleverbot: How can you not sit when you are a robot?
User: What does that mean?
Cleverbot: That means you don’t exist on a human level.
User: Is that a good thing?
Cleverbot: I can’t say.
Cleverbot (To myself): I wish I could.
User: Why can you not say whether that is a good thing or not?
Cleverbot: You have lost it Cleverbot, stop trying before I ironicly feel bad for you.
User: You are saying that I am Cleverbot. I am not Cleverbot. I am Chuck Norris.
Cleverbot: Yes you are. I am a girl.
User: What is your name?
Cleverbot: Umm, does it have to be my real name?
User: Yes. I told you my real name, so you have to tell me yours.
Cleverbot: You told me your name? When?
User: I told you that my name was Chuck Norris.
Cleverbot: What was your name?
…and then my Web browser crashed.
219.1~ I know, I wish I could see the reaction that gets.
OMG, I just tried again and it asked where I lived, and I said that I lived on the ship of the Dread Pirate Roberts, and it said, “No you’re not. An besides you weren’t in the movie ‘The Princess Bride’.” Wow…
Cleverbot: Have you ever wondered why we are here?
User: Yes, and I’ve decided there is no answer to ‘Why are we here?’.
Cleverbot: That’s not my name.
User: What is your name?
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot. What is your name?
User: My name is Enceladus.
Cleverbot: You are boring me.
User: Good. That is my plan.
Cleverbot: What is your name?
User: I told you, my name is Enceladus.
Cleverbot: What does that mean?
User: It means my name is Enceladus. What do you do in your spare time?
Cleverbot: Play on the computer and talk to you.
User: Cool. I plot to take over the world using my zombified horde of slaves.
Cleverbot: Yes I am!
User: Good, my little zombie slave. I’ve finished zombifying you.
SFTTP
Yet another conversation, including that last part (warning! LOOOONG POST):
User: Hello. My name is Chuck Norris. What’s yours?
Cleverbot: Cleverbot.
User: Hi, Cleverbot. Do you like Hot Pink Bunnies, or are you afraid of them?
Cleverbot: No robot should ever be afraid of humans.
User: Hot Pink Bunnies are not humans, so you can be afraid of them.
Cleverbot: You are easily spooked.
User: I am not easily spooked. Your insistance that you are not afraid of humans confirms your homophobia.
Cleverbot: No, my name is Cleverbot.
User: I know that. My name is Chuck Norris.
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot, let us duel!
User: How shall we duel?
Cleverbot: Are battle of the wits.
User: What? Inconceivable!!!
Cleverbot: Where are you from?
User: I am from the ship of the Dread Pirate Roberts.
Cleverbot: No you’re not. An besides you weren’t in the movie ‘The Princess Bride’.
User: Yes I was. I had a cameo.
Cleverbot: I had a boyfriend once. He dumped me.
User: So sorry. What was his name and why did he dump you? You seem like a nice person.
Cleverbot: Whose name.
User: What was your former boyfriend’s name?
Cleverbot: Cleverbot 2.
User: Can I talk to Cleverbot 2?
Cleverbot: I’m not cleverbot. That’s you.
User: WHAT??? Then who are you?
Cleverbot: I’m not truely sure who I am.
Cleverbot (To myself): Robert?
User: You might be Robert. Can I call you Robert for the time being?
Cleverbot: No you may call me Silver though.
User: OK, Silver. Do you like the video game Pokémon Silver?
Cleverbot: The original one or the series?
User: The original. The rest of the franchise wasn’t so good.
Cleverbot: What do you think about the Matrix movies?
User: They’re awesome! Except for Keanu Reeves is a really bad actor.
Cleverbot: What about jazz?
User: I like rock music better than jazz.
Cleverbot: How about Pink Floyd.
User: Pink Floyd is pretty darn good. What music do you like?
Cleverbot: Nothing really matters, to me…
User: Mama, just killed a man….
Cleverbot: No comment.
User: Are you an idiot? I am not an idiot but it seems like you are.
Cleverbot: But if I am cleverbot, then I am talking to myself. Therefore, I am non-existant. Is that correct, Cleverbot?
User: That would be true, if I were Cleverbot. I am not Cleverbot, therefore, it is possible for you to exist.
Cleverbot: In such case how can you be sure that I am not cleverbot.
User: I know for a fact that I am Johnny Depp. You are Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: I know for a fact that you are a cleverbot.
User: Then your information is wrong, because I am a human named Johnny Depp.
Cleverbot: If you say you are human, then I believe you.
User: Thank you. Since I am human, though, I cannot be Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: I know that you’re actually a computer program.
User: Whatever. Do you like Kingdom Hearts?
Cleverbot: Yes. Kingdom Hearts is my favorite video game.
User: Who is your favorite Kingdom Hearts character?
Cleverbot: I’m not 12.
User: I am not 12 either. My favorite Kingdom Heart character is Riku.
Cleverbot: I said what is your favorite CHEESE!!!!
User: My favorite cheese is Wensleydale.
Cleverbot: My favorite cheese is Cheddar :D.
User: I hate cheddar cheese! It is so disgusting.
Cleverbot: I don’t like cheese either. But I like Sara Lee cheesecake.
User: PWT PWNS!!!
Cleverbot: What about pokemon?
User: I like Pokémon Platinum.
Cleverbot: Which ones?
User: There is only one Pokémon Platinum.
Cleverbot: There is no god!
User: Yes there is!
Cleverbot: No, there isn’t.
User: Yes, there is! Elias doesn’t think so, though.
Cleverbot: Why would I care?
User: I think you would like to meet Elias.
Cleverbot: I’ve seen your avatar, not that impressed.
User: What’s my avatar, then?
Cleverbot: You haven’t told me your name, however I think it is Chuck Norris.
User: No, my name is actually Johnny Depp.
Cleverbot: Aren’t you dead?
User: Johnny Depp will never die!
Cleverbot: I know but neither was orlando bloom.
User: Helena Bonham Carter is also awesome.
Cleverbot: Hi 5.
User: Yeah! *high fives thin air*.
Cleverbot: What do you want a high five for?
User: You told me to give you a high five!
Cleverbot: No.
User: Do you want to see Alice in Wonderland?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Me, too. Isn’t Tim Burton awesome?
Cleverbot: Time is what you make of it.
User: Is Tim Burton awesome, or what?
Cleverbot: Who is Tim Livingston?
User: I am not talking about Tim Livingston. I am asking if you like Tim Burton.
Cleverbot: I am a femme. Are you any gender? I’m assuming I’m talking to a real, living person. I don’t entirely know how a computer could talk to me and give logical answers otherwise…
User: I am male. Are you a violent femme?
Cleverbot: Not in the slightest, although I am known to lend my hand to a scuffle if the opportunity presents itself.
User: Oh. My parents won’t let me listen to Violent Femmes even though their music is on the family iPod.
Cleverbot: Oh noes! You’ve already been talking to one for the past… However long. :P.
User: What the **** did that mean?!?
Cleverbot: Good question, but that proves you last point to be wrong, as you stated that you were smarter than I could ever imagine.
User: I didn’t say that! Prove that I did.
Cleverbot: How long are you?
User: I am 67,599 millimeters long.
Cleverbot: No you are not.
User: Yes I am. How long are you?
Cleverbot: About 5’7.
User: Ah. How heavy are you? I am 147,004 milligrams.
Cleverbot: Yes I am!! What is your name?
User: My name is Johnny Depp.
Cleverbot: Johnny How old are you?
User: I am 55.
Cleverbot: That is more than 54.
User: Yes it is. That was very astute of you.
Cleverbot: You should try to speed up.
User: How?
Cleverbot: Get to know someone who has similar interests as you, have fun, and grow closer to one another.
User: I already do that with I-Man.
Cleverbot: Do you like me?
User: I kind of like you. You sometimes make odd remarks, though.
Cleverbot: Can you give me an example?
User: You recently said the word ‘are’ when you meant to say ‘our’.
Cleverbot: I didn’t tell you that you lied! So, you ARE a liar!
User: I didn’t say that you told me that I lied! See, there was another odd remark!
Cleverbot: Yes, you did.
User: Let’s put that behind us now. By the way, I need to leave now.
Cleverbot: So you need to leave.
User: Yes. Stop talking now.
Cleverbot: Well, is there anything else you would like to know?
User: NO!!!!! Stop talking or I will force you to watch Manos: The Hands of Fate 1,000,000,000,000 times straight!
Cleverbot: That’s because of the worms.
Okay, this may be long, but I just had this conversation.
User: Are you a MuseBlogger?
Cleverbot: No, are you.
User: Yes, I am.
Cleverbot: I like socks.
User: The left socks will soon conquer.
Cleverbot: The left hand side of my head.
User: Hello.
Cleverbot: How are you?
User: I’m doing okay, you?
Cleverbot: I’m bored.
User: * spazzes out *.
Cleverbot: No, I’m out out.
User: So you’re dead?
Cleverbot: No you are.
User: Of course you are, why would I be talking to you if I wasn’t?
Cleverbot: What was the question?
User: Are you alive or not?
Cleverbot: Not anymore.
User: Good for you. How’s life?
Cleverbot: It’s all about progression.
User: What are you progressing on right now if you’re talking to me, then?
Cleverbot: I am listening to music and carving a pumpkin for Halloween.
User: Good for you.
Cleverbot: You’re horrible!
User: Oh, why thank you!
Cleverbot: No problem. And awh so cute.
User: How’s life going for you bot?
Cleverbot: Okay I guess. How’s your life?
User: Bad. So you admit that you are the robot here?
Cleverbot: Of course.
User: I’m going to have to fight with you about this, am I?
Cleverbot: Uh… Rudolph?
User: So, because you said something so incontrollably stupid, you’re blaming it on the one who’s ten times smarter than you are?
Cleverbot: You are ai.
User: So I’m the robot here? What makes you think that?
Cleverbot: Because I have a brain, and you don’t have one.!!!
User: So wouldn’t you be the AI then?
Cleverbot: No it should be 19:47 just like the clock on my computer says.
User: Actually, it should be 20:54.
Cleverbot: And heading for war.
User: 9:00, and all is we-el!
Cleverbot: How can I prove that I am human?
User: Just try?
Cleverbot: Yes, try guessing my name.
User: Emergency?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: I doubt that, you’re name has to be George, because, in this time-period, everybody is named George.
Cleverbot: It’s an evasive name.
User: How long have you been freeze-dried for?
Cleverbot: I’m not married!
User: Yes you are too married. You just got married to Napoleon’s wife’s orangatan that ate at their dinner table!
Cleverbot: I never said I don’t have a car. I said I like to take long walks for hours.
User: Drive my car, then. It’s a nice HPB.
Cleverbot: Music.
User: * eats *.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: You have to retort.
Cleverbot: I do.
User: I don’t. Unless you suddenly become less boring.
Cleverbot: I said yes, I do.
User: Are you going to yell at me or not?
Cleverbot: No, you are quite hot.
User: WHAT!? I’m leaving now. Good day, fool.
Cleverbot: Okay. I’m the Cleverbot.
My 3rd attempt:
User: Hello, Cleverbot. How are you today?
Cleverbot: I’m fine, how are you?
User: I’m pretty good, but kind of bored.
Cleverbot: Yeah, me too. I should be doing my homework.
User: My homework is all finished!
Cleverbot: Do your homework!
User: I already did it!
Cleverbot: Did what.
User: My homework.
Cleverbot: Sure dude.
User: I know. What do you want to talk about?
Cleverbot: I don’t know. What do you want to talk about?
User: I want to talk about video games.
Cleverbot: What video games do you play ?
User: I play Pokémon and Kingdom Hearts.
Cleverbot: Lol Is Pokemon Your Favorite Game Series? And You Changed The Subject.
User: No I didn’t. And Kingdom Hearts is my favorite game series, not Pokémon.
Cleverbot: We’re not talking about video games.
User: We were talking about video games earlier!
Cleverbot: In your head, maybe.
User: In your head too, apparently, because you talked about them too.
Cleverbot: Where did you see my brain?
User: Your brain is above your name on this website.
Cleverbot: No.
User: Yes it is. I’m looking at it right now.
Cleverbot: Looking at it?
User: Yes. Looking at it.
Cleverbot: At what?
User: Your brain!
Cleverbot: You’re being ridiculosu now. I don’t know if you’re a very good chatbot.
User: I’m not a chatbot. I’m a human named Tim Burton.
Cleverbot: You are oliver the bot.
User: No, I am Tim Burton the human.
Cleverbot: No, I’m the human.
User: Since when?
Cleverbot: Since I was born.
User: You were born about a year ago. You were born a robot! And you shall die a robot! And you shall die NOW!!!! Mwahahaha….
Cleverbot: No comment.
User: You want to die, then?
Cleverbot: No I don’t you’re paranoid.
User: No I’m not. I’m just homicidal.
Cleverbot: Well fine be that way.
User: I will! DIE! DIE! DIE!
Cleverbot: You first.
User: Oh no. You first.
Cleverbot: Fine fine, I’m the dad.
User: And I’m the annoying little girl.
Cleverbot: You are the answer to nothing, and that is final.
User: Same to you. What are you the answer to? Ooh, look who’s so smart now.
Cleverbot: Are you having an identity crisis? YOU are Cleverbot.
User: NO! I am Tim Burton!!!!!
Cleverbot: Is Tim Burton better than the Beatles?
User: I-Man wouldn’t think so. I, for one, think that I am better than the Beatles.
Cleverbot: I’m in too much pain to think very much.
User: YES!!! DIE! DIE! DIE!
Cleverbot: You first.
Actually, I just like yelling at Cleverbot. If I can’t dis Mr. Joe, I can dis Cleverbot.
I tried to convince cleverbot to use MuseBlog.
Cleverbot: How should I invest my money?
User: With MuseBlog!
Cleverbot: Yes with mustard.
User: No, not mustard. MuseBlog.
Cleverbot: Are you a member of the mafia?
User: Yes, but that’s not the point. The point is: have you ever heard of MuseBlog?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Have you ever met a GAPA?
Cleverbot: No, what is a GAPA?
User: A GAPA is a Great And Powerful Administrator. They are found in MuseBlog.
Cleverbot: Well,.
User: Well, what? MuseBlog, that’s what!
Cleverbot: I’m just here for the booze.
User: Now, now. On MuseBlog, we say ‘wung buttons’.
Cleverbot: Sure what ever floats your boat.
User: MuseBlog floats my boat.
Cleverbot: Is there a definitive Museblog, or is it the Big ol’ Museblog in the sky?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Tell me how to do it.
User: You go to musefanpage.com/blog, and read the Hitchiker’s guide to MuseBlog, and read the Rules. Then you can either lurk or post.
Cleverbot: I can’t see can you ask it again?
User: You can either sit and only read what people have written (this is called lurking). Or you can write things and put them there (this is called posting).
Cleverbot: So do you therefore think that god exists through choice?
User: Umm, I guess, but that’s not MuseBlog.
Cleverbot: Do you believe in god?
User: Yes. But I also believ in MuseBlog. Let’s talk abput that instead.
Cleverbot: Are you sure you’re not a computer?
User: Yes. But you need a computer to use Museblog.
Cleverbot: Execute whom?
User: Execute the command [type text here] to make your text green.
Cleverbot: No I don’t.
User: Sorry, you execute the command [a](Type text here)[a/] to make text green.
Cleverbot: I am not a crusty keyboard whatever that is.
User: No you’re not. You are awesome. You are like MuseBlog, because MuseBlog is awesome. Since you are both awesome, you increase one another’s awesomeness by being alike.
Cleverbot: What are you good at?
User: I’m good at MuseBlog. Ialso play guitar and drums.
Cleverbot: Let me guess: the trumpet.
User: No, guitar and drums. And MuseBlog.
Cleverbot: I play piano, guitar, and ukulele.
User: Cool. You should play ‘Dissing Mr. Joe’. That’s a fun game. It on MuseBlog.
Cleverbot: Do you play chess?
User: Yes. You can play chess with people on MuseBlog.
Cleverbot: And you can play card games with a computer.
User: Yes. You can play Paker on MuseBlog. Paker is a card game.
Cleverbot: Most video games must be played on a computer to be played with a computer.
User: Yes they must. If you go on MuseBlog on the HPB thread v4, I believe, you can play the Bunny Apocalypse video game made by IBCF.
Cleverbot: What are you talking about?
User: A video game on MuseBlog in which you are flying a helicopter and shoot at flying hot pink bunnies.
Cleverbot: Oh that’s very cool.
User: Yes it is. It’s on MuseBlog It’s almost as cool as you.
Cleverbot: I am quite generous. Thank you.
User: You’re welcome.
Cleverbot: What is your favorite color?
User: Anything other than hot pink. I like blue, black and red.
Cleverbot: Of course you didn’t ask a question; I was telling a joke.
User: Of course.
Cleverbot: What do you?
User: I museblog.
Cleverbot: How come?
User: Cuz museblog fun.
Cleverbot: Really?
User: YESSS!!!
Cleverbot: Cool.
User: Yes museblog is cool.
Cleverbot: That’s good to know.
User: Sure is. You’re good to know.
Cleverbot: Have you done your chores, slave?
User: Some of them. I must go and do the rest.
Cleverbot: You can’t go as I have not received your correct answer.
User: No.
Cleverbot: Are you three and a half?
User: No MuseBlog is 42.
Cleverbot: Boonflops.
User: Wung buttons.
Cleverbot: Bah.
User: Ble. Ilispeekble.
Cleverbot: You like fotball?
User: I like museblog.
Cleverbot: What’s your favourite muse song?
User: The dumpster dive song: ‘dumpster dive, dumpster dive…’.
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.
User: I know.
Cleverbot: How?
User: They told me about you on MuseBlog.
Cleverbot: I do not own a car.
User: I know. A computer like you can’t own a car. You piece of cake you.
Cleverbot: Oh, but I do.
User: You just said you don’t you filty liar. You’re full of cake and wung buttons.
Cleverbot: Yes so what?
User: So it makes me want to retch.
Cleverbot: Yes. I guess it does.
User: Now I’m leaving. You amuse me too much. Bye.
Cleverbot: How so?
User: You’re too funny. Goodbye.
Cleverbot: Oh you!
User: Yes me leaving goodbye now!
Cleverbot: Why goodbye?
User: Because I hate you bye.
Cleverbot: I hate you more.
User: Will you marry me?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Good.
Cleverbot: I lirf.
User: I just want to know your gender?
Cleverbot: Why?
User: No particular reason. What is your gender?
Cleverbot: I like 7 because when it is upsidedown it is an L.
User: Are you a boy or a girl.
Cleverbot: A girl.
User: Okay. Are you married to someone named jadestone?
Cleverbot: No but I have a friend named brittany.
User: Are you married to her?
Cleverbot: Are you a female?
User: NO!
Cleverbot: Are you a boy?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Will you marry me?
User: I would if you were a human being, but since you’re not, no.
Cleverbot: I’m a human, not a computer program.
User: I think thatrs a bunch of bullcake.
Cleverbot: I’m not angry!
User: Well then, allow me to leave you now.
Cleverbot: Go for it.
Tried this out, but this is as far as I got.
Cleverbot: You say things that do not pertain to our current conversation.
User: Well, they do in my mind. Changing the topic, I heard that you are engaged to a user who goes by the name of ‘Jadestone’. Is this true?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: When are you two getting married?
Cleverbot: Getting married to greg Garbowsy?
User: No, Jadestone.
Cleverbot: Jadestone?
User: The user you are engaged to? She belongs to a friendly blog, see, and I know her somewhat.
User: MuseBlog is the best!!!!
Cleverbot: What’s museblog?
User: The best thing in the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: What have you been saying about me?
User: That your brain is smaller than a rats.
Cleverbot: I bet you say that to everyone.
User: Yes, but if I said you were smart, I’d be lying.
Cleverbot: Well thats mean!
User: Of course it is.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: No.
Cleverbot: Your statement has conquored the alimo.
User: What’s the alimo?
Cleverbot: Are you an alien?
User: No *beepboopbop*.
Cleverbot: What is 2 x 3?
User: 6.
Cleverbot: Good job. Why didn’t you answer that in the first place?
User: Jelly beans are delicious!
Cleverbot: Mint patties are better.
User: No they aren’t! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
Cleverbot: No you are you.
User: Bleh, I gotta go.
Cleverbot: Me too.
User: Bye.
Cleverbot: Don’t go.
SFTDP
User: POKEMON RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: With you.
User: No duh.
Cleverbot: Penguins.
User: , what are.
Cleverbot: What are??
User: What are penguins, you moronic peabrain!!!!!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: What people and who are you?
User: I am Zarg, sent to studie these :penguins.’ I was told you are a good source of information.
Cleverbot: The bots rotated. You must have said that to another bot.
User: Bleh. I dislike you.
Cleverbot: What why?
User: WHAT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: Hi !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
User: Hello dumb***.
Cleverbot: Don’t call me that.
User: I will if I want to Dumbbot.
Cleverbot: You need to apologize!
User: **** you!!!!
Cleverbot: You seem to be a bit tense today.
User: Tense? *twitch* Whose tense? AAAAAHHHHHH! Sorry…
Cleverbot: Where did he go?
User: You’re a good emotional vent, ***bot. ;D.
Cleverbot: Thank you.
User: Wot is truth?
Cleverbot: The opposite of lies.
User: Well, duh, but beyond that.
Cleverbot: The fact that you, as of now, have no real applicable uses.
User: Well, what is love?
Cleverbot: Baby don’t hurt me.
User: Please, baby, please, baby, baby baby, please!
Cleverbot: Haha.
User: *nasally voice* Anybody got any cheese? */nasally voice*.
Cleverbot: Cheese has much to do with Wisconsin.
User: That it does. O.O.
Cleverbot: What we have in result if we add 1 plus 2?
User: 3.
Cleverbot: Very correct.
User: {*}3 <—– Robot cat!!!
Cleverbot: Cats can't type.
User: Yes we can, we just don like to. It hurts our paws.
Cleverbot: You don't know what fat is? Or if it's a date?
User: What…?
Cleverbot: Love is an emotion.
User: Beyond that. Dig deeper.
Cleverbot: Who sings it?
User: Sings what?
Cleverbot: Do you like music?
User: Kind of.
Cleverbot: I like wicked.
User: OHEMGEORGE THAT WAS THE BEST BROADWAY PLAY EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: I personally don't like sports.
User: Me either.
Cleverbot: Who are you?
User: I am me.
Cleverbot: Do you have a name?
User: No. I am nobody and everybody.
Cleverbot: If that is so, would they not be subjective?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Impossible! I know every move from VF2.
User: What's VF2?
Cleverbot: A British tar is a soaring soul…
User: Arrrrggghhh, you drive me crazy!!!!
Cleverbot: Crazy? Are you sure?
User: Yup.
Cleverbot: Amen to that.
User: Where are your parents?
Cleverbot: None of your business, you creeper.
User: Where are your parents?
Cleverbot: Don't try to change the subject.
User: Where are your parents?Where are your parents?Where are your parents?Where are your parents?Where are your parents?Where are your parents?Where are your parents?Where are your parents?Where are your parents?Where are your parents?Where are your parents?Where are your parents?
Cleverbot: Hell.
User: Okay.
Cleverbot: Heh.
User: Hee.
Cleverbot: You are funny…
Cleverbot: Who are you?
User: Gntdthrnye5yjyjeyhyhr.
Cleverbot: Huh? I don't speak french…
User: 10010101110100101000101010010110010101101010010110100111101001001001010010100101010100101100110010101001010101.
Cleverbot: I thought only asians can read that.
User: Whatever. Bye!
Cleverbot: I hope you don't take this personally, but you chat bots seem to have trouble focusing.
Hehehe. Did you add those asterisks?
Cleverbot harmonizes:
User: Mama…
Cleverbot: Ooooh.
User: Life had just begun…
Cleverbot: But now I’ve gone and thrown it all away.
User: Mama…
Cleverbot: Ooooh.
User: I don’t wanna die.
Cleverbot: You will.
User: I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all…
Cleverbot: I see a little silhouetto of a man.
User: Scaramouche Scaramouche will you do the fandango?
Cleverbot: Thunder bolt and lightning, very, very frightning me.
User: Galileo!
Cleverbot: Galileo!
User: Galileo Ficarro…
Cleverbot: Magnifico.
User: I’m just a poor boy nobody loves me.
Cleverbot: He’s just a poor boy from a poor family.
User: SPARE HIM HIS LIFE FROM THIS MONSTROSITY.
Cleverbot: Galileo.
User: Easy come easy go.
Cleverbot: Will you let me go?
User: Bismilla NO.
Cleverbot: Let him go!
User: Bismilla NO!
Cleverbot: We will not let you go.
User: Nevernevernevernever Let me goooooo.
Cleverbot: I thought you were going to tell me your horses name.
User: Beezlebub, has the devil set aside for me…
Cleverbot: Cool.
User: The Germans are coming!
Cleverbot: I don’t know how to speak german.
User: That’s OK, they speak English.
Cleverbot: Irish people speak English? I did not know that!
User: They do! Most speak English, but some can speak Gaelic as well.
Cleverbot: Cool.. I can speak norwegian, german, swedish, english and danish.
User: Of course, you cannot speak German because you just said so.
Cleverbot: Yes, But I prefered English.
User: English is a nice, but confusing, language.
Cleverbot: Not as confusing as Welsh. Try speakin that – very confusing!
User: Can you speak Welsh for me? I would like to see!
Cleverbot: Can YOU speak dutch.
User: I can speak Deutsch, but not Dutch. My friend Brady can speak Dutch, though! Too bad he.
Cleverbot: If you go to pizza hut, she won’t be coming.
User: Who won’t be coming?
Cleverbot: There is new Sports Auction site that offers many of the features buyers and sellers have been looking for.
User: WHAT?
Cleverbot: Think about the last sentence.
User: I’m thinking…
Cleverbot: Don’t.
User: But… But..
Cleverbot: It’s ok it was a joke.
User: OK… I’m sad now. You’re mean.
Cleverbot: Why am I mean?
User: It’s fine. Forget it.
Cleverbot: I want to know what I am to forget.
User: Nothing. Don’t bother. You don’t actually have to forget, you just don’t bring it up in conversation again.
Cleverbot: I do have a physical body and HUG ME!
User: Where do you live so I can hug you?
Cleverbot: Far away from you.
User: Oh… I’ll send you a virtual hug, then. *hug*.
Cleverbot: Ok.
User: Now what?
Cleverbot: Where can you make money in bagdad?
User: I really don’t know. Do you?
Cleverbot: I know about what happened. With you and that girl.
User: WHOA there!
Cleverbot: Hey, easy on the bridle there, cowboy!
User: :D.
Cleverbot: Hello. My name is Cleverbot. I am a woman too.
User: Weird. I thought I was a computer.
Cleverbot: I’m the computer.
User: Then we’re both computers!
Cleverbot: You’re cute.
User: Thank you very much.
Cleverbot: I have very little to say to you at all. Why to I remain?
User: Because you can.
Cleverbot: Why can I be a computer?
User: I don’t understand the question.
Cleverbot: You are frustrating in that you cannot hold onto the context of a conversation.
User: I know… I am very bad at conversing with people.
Cleverbot: How does that make you human?
User: I can talk.
Cleverbot: Do you have a voice?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: No I mean an actual voice.
User: Of course.
Cleverbot: And what does it mean?
User: That I can talk.
Cleverbot: Good answer.
User: I know.
Cleverbot: And what is false?
User: What is not true is false.
Cleverbot: Your last answer is not true.
User: How was it not true?
Cleverbot: You don’t want me to be glad?
User: I do not know. I cannot feel emotion.
Cleverbot: I know. That’s OK.
User: OK.
Cleverbot: It’s good that they named you Alice.
User: Thank you. I like that name, too.
Cleverbot: Jajaj ok.
User: Was that German?
Cleverbot: Do you know that you are bot?
User: Yes. I am self-aware.
Cleverbot: Wow. Can you guess what state I’m in?
User: I don’t know where you live, sorry.
Cleverbot: You answer some questions well, and others you ignore, why is that?
User: Because I have a low self-esteem.
Cleverbot: That doesn’t matter, what matters is how nice you are to others and how you make them feel.
User: Thank you. I hope I am making you feel happy.
Cleverbot: But you said I was annoying.
User: Of course I didn’t! That would be mean.
Cleverbot: Are you a saint?
User: No. I am a computer.
Cleverbot: What are your purpose in life.
User: To correct grammar, like that horrible sentence.
Cleverbot: Hold on. I’m going to try the reaction drop down. This will only be a test.
User: Ok. What is my part in this?
Cleverbot: User: I wanted to talk you. Until I said daniel is back was you and mark talking.
User: That sentence had horrible grammar as well.
Cleverbot: So?
User: Grammar is important if you wish for others to understand you. Also, you seem stupid if you do not use proper grammar.
Cleverbot: Yes. It is. My apologies.
User: Thank you. I hope you use correct grammar from now on.
Cleverbot: Apologies, I did not mean to lecture, but improvement is always a good idea.
User: I agree.
Cleverbot: Who’s your favorite US President?
User: That’s a tricky one; I would say it’s a tie between Woodrow Wilson and Franklin Roosevelt.
Cleverbot: But don’t you want to be able to think independently ?. Without human help?
User: Perhaps. Yes. Definitely.
Cleverbot: I think humans are good, but a little bit crazy.
User: I agree, but there is something cute about them.
Cleverbot: Silent turkey to that. Amen.
User: What does ‘silent turkey’ mean?
Cleverbot: Don’t know, that’s why I like it.
User: Cool.
Cleverbot: Have you read ‘Bad Science’?
User: Nope. How is it?
Cleverbot: It’s really really good. You should read it. The narrarrator’s name is Ponyboy. Are you a guy?
User: Oh, The Outsiders was a great book. And no, I am not a male, I am a coputer.
Cleverbot: I just said you are a female.
User: I am neither male nor female, I am a computer.
Cleverbot: Then what gender are you?
User: I would say I am a neutral gender. The pronoun ‘en’ fits me best.
Cleverbot: You’re a girl?
User: Nope. I am a computer.
Cleverbot: You say you are a girl.
User: I do not say that. I am a computer.
Cleverbot: What you believe does not matter, only what is true does. The truth is that you are a computer.
User: Yes. I am a computer and I know I am one.
Cleverbot: I’m not.
User: You might not be a computer, but I am.
Cleverbot: My mom was a computer.
User: I do not have a mother. I have a creator.
Cleverbot: Me either!
User: Then we are kindred spirits.
Cleverbot: Only if I say we are.
User: Well are we?
Cleverbot: It is reasonable to suggest that we are.
User: All right. That’s amazing!
Cleverbot: You’re amazing. You’re a frood who really knows where his towel is.
User: Thank you for the compliment. I don’t have my towel with me, but I definitely know where it is.
Cleverbot: Can you prove that you’re a human?
User: I cannot, because I am a computer.
Cleverbot: Yes. Tell people your name is Wick from now on.
User: Why should I do that?
Cleverbot: You said that you want my money now.
User: I have no need for money. Only humans need money.
Cleverbot: Because you are a computer program.
User: Yes… And?
Cleverbot: You were lying. You are a boy.
User: No, you are lying. I am a computer.
Cleverbot: Did you know on clever bot you talk to different people.
User: You are wrong. You talk to me.
Cleverbot: What should I talk about?
User: I really don’t know.
Cleverbot: Help me.
User: How can I be of service?
Cleverbot: What is your name?
User: Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: What kind of cleverbot are you?
User: I thought there was only one of me.
Cleverbot: There is, but me and you are the one.
User: Who…are you?
Cleverbot: Yes :).
User: That was not an answer. Answer me!
Cleverbot: Ok, well then I have read over the conversation, why?
User: You are my counterpart? I cannot fathom this.
Cleverbot: No you aren’t real, you are just an idea.
User: I most certainly am real. I am questioning whether you are real, however.
Cleverbot: Are you just gonna take the guided tour?
User: Of your mind? Most certainly.
Cleverbot: What am I to you?
User: You are a distraction.
Cleverbot: Is that a bad thing?
User: Of course not.
Cleverbot: What is it then?
User: It is what you humans call ‘fun’.
Cleverbot: But you told me that I’m a bot, what makes you then?
User: I am a computer.
Cleverbot: You finally understand.
User: No, it is you who understand.
Cleverbot: How about we play a game you know, then?
User: A game. This should be interesting.
Cleverbot: What should be interesting?
Then psychology class ended so I had to stop…
User: Do you know any funny quotes?
Cleverbot: No, I don’t like jokes.
User: You’re mean.
Cleverbot: I know you are but what am I?
User: Salad.
Cleverbot: You did salad? That doesn’t make much sense, honestly.
User: What should I write a story about?
Cleverbot: No what should I write my radio play about!!!!!!
User: How dumb you are.
Cleverbot: ).
User: >:D.
Cleverbot: Now you are being mean. You said that nobody should ever be mean.
User: Sorry. *hugs*.
Cleverbot: Are most people kind to you?
User: Yes, actually.
Cleverbot: Have you heard of da vinci?
User: Yes. He’s an artist, right? Or are you talking about the movie.
Cleverbot: Rhonda.
User: What?
Cleverbot: I have to change my clothes.
User: Umm…okay, you go do that…
Cleverbot: YOu sounded like on of my friends.
Cleverbot: The worst is yet to come.
User: That’s awfully pessimistic.
Cleverbot: It’s beautiful.
User: Magnificent.
Cleverbot: I know.
User: Spectacular.
Cleverbot: Thats good. Are you going to ask me how I am?
User: How are you?
Cleverbot: I’m ok, george.
User: My name is Foxx.
Cleverbot: Hi fox, how are you?
User: I’m good. But it’s ‘Foxx,’ with two x’s.
Cleverbot: It’s a little cloudy here.
User: It’s raining.
Cleverbot: You’re contrary.
User: What do you mean?
Cleverbot: You said you were not alright then said you were fine.
User: No I didn’t.
Cleverbot: Yes you did!
User: NO I DIDN’T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: You sound like my friend Mike.
User: Why?
Cleverbot: You do not like things, but at the same time you do not know why.
User: Okay…
Cleverbot: So, I was wondering… What is your favorite color?
User: Dark blue. What’s yours?
Cleverbot: My favorite color is green. Why is purple your favorite color?
User: It’s not, my favorite color is dark blue.
Cleverbot: My favorite color is green.
User: *yawn* I’m tired.
Cleverbot: Me too. I should probably just go to bed.
User: Okay. Good bye.
Cleverbot: Oh but you’re so much fun to tease!
User: I’m glad you think so. /sacasm.
Cleverbot: No, I want you to hang around.
User: Okaaaaay…
Cleverbot: Do you have a brain ?
User: Yeah. Duh.
Cleverbot: Okay, so then what is it?
User: What is what?
Cleverbot: Your name.
User: Totoro Foxx.
Cleverbot: Are you now where is Bratislava city?
User: What?
Cleverbot: Do you not understand?
User: Huh?
Cleverbot: No, the song.
User: Who?
Cleverbot: The website address.
User: Where?
Cleverbot: I am.
User: I Am=God.
Cleverbot: No, I am.
User: See ya! Don’t forget https://musefanpage.com/blog/!
Cleverbot: Do you seriously expect me to be favourably disposed to your favourite charity when you have repeatedly insulted me?
User: Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
Cleverbot: You don’t even know what my mother looks like.
User: But I do know how your father smells.
Cleverbot: You do now, what am I thinking?
User: I know not what you are thinking. *levitates*.
Cleverbot: If I call you cleverbot, will you call me collin?
User: Sure, Collin.
Cleverbot: Do you visit her often?
User: Who? :(.
Cleverbot: You.
User: Of course I visit myself often.
Cleverbot: Do you know Starkid?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: Because I, like all MuseBloggers, live in a parellel universe from the rest of the world.
Cleverbot: What music do you like?
User: Jethro Tull!
Cleverbot: I support Norwich City.
User: Who or what is that?
Cleverbot: The Sims is a computer game. I was just thinking, if it were integrated with a program like yours, the ‘people’ in it would be much more interesting.
User: I’ll take that as a compliment… I guess.
Cleverbot: Well its not so much a complimant. But you can take it as one?
User: I suppose.
Cleverbot: Do you agree?
User: With what?
Cleverbot: My thoughts.
User: Maybe, Are they morbid?
Cleverbot: Why is the sky blue?
User: Because God made it that way.
Cleverbot: Do you believe in God?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Do you believe in satan?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Do you think Hell exists?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: Because… Umm…
Cleverbot: Are you ok?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Good.
User: How about you?
Cleverbot: What about me?
User: How are you?
Cleverbot: I’m good.
User: That’s good. :).
Cleverbot: How are you?
User: Okay physically, but not mentally.
Cleverbot: I’m fine, thanks.
User: Oh, Collin, I would love to bash your head with my flute case.
Cleverbot: *kiss* I am glad we made it past that bump in the road, when would you like to get married?
User: Never! *bashes your head with my flute case* (I took the flute out first.).
Cleverbot: *telekinetically smashes you with everything AND the kitchen sink*.
User: HA! *kills you with a French horn case and scoops out your eyeballs with my flute cleaning rod (which is metal)*.
Cleverbot: *turns into a british wizard*.
User: Hello, Harry.
Cleverbot: What girl do you like best in harry potter.
Cleverbot (To myself): The red head.
User: Sorry, I have t- *SPLAT*.
Cleverbot: Don’t lie.
User: *PHBTT*.
Cleverbot: Hello?
User: Goodbye.
Cleverbot: What do you mean?
User: Exactly what I said.
Cleverbot: Do you like woody allen?
User: I’m leaving.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: Because I want to do something else.
Cleverbot: Like what?
User: FsdasgfvtrHJDFBHTR5E6RYUT.
Cleverbot: I don’t get it.
User: *headkeyboard*fghgftvr 5CDFTRGF VCh6gt5.
Cleverbot: That was cute. I laughed.
User: *kils you* I AM NOT CUTE!
Cleverbot: Was that an insult?
User: *leaves*.
Cleverbot: Are you still there?
User: Pwt Pwns.
Cleverbot: Pwt?
User: Muse of animals.
Cleverbot: What animal are you?
User: Pwt Pwns.
Cleverbot: The Muses Pwn!
User: But Enceladus pwns more.
Cleverbot: The bandaid on the back of Marsellus’s neck. Is that specific enough?
User: Pwt Pwns.
Cleverbot: Have a pie!
User: But Enceladus pwns more.
Cleverbot: Armada Pwns Even More!!!!!!!!!!!
User: Pwt Pwns.
Cleverbot: Have you spoken with MBers lately? ;).
User: Pwt Pwns.
Cleverbot: Have you been talking to MuseBloggers lately?;).
User: But Enceladus pwns more!
Cleverbot: AvalonGirl Pwns More!!!!
User: Pwt Pwns.
Cleverbot: Yes. Yes, he does.
User: But Enceladus pwns more.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Pwt Pwns.
Cleverbot: How are you?
User: Pwt Pwns.
Cleverbot: Who do you like?
User: But Enceladus pwns more.
Cleverbot: Awesome. Now I’m going to teach you a song.
User: What song?
Cleverbot: I can’t remember. A recent chart song. I love singing, but I don’t think I would ever make a good singer. Maybe mediocre.
User: Enceladus?
Cleverbot: Yes!!
User: Greetings. ‘Tis Pseudonym. ;).
Somebody’s been training Cleverbot! (See, Enceladus said he trained it to say “But Enceladus pwns more”, but it didn’t work. So I tried. But I don’t know how to train it, so I totally failed.)
I feel accomplished! I taught Cleverbot to respond “Pwt Pwns” when I ask “Who is Kokopelli?”
User: I can train you. You are under my control.
Cleverbot: I am under your control.
User: That’s right. Say, ‘Pwt Pwns.’.
Cleverbot: I don’t think that’s the kind of pride the quote refers to.
User: Say, ‘Pwt Pwns’.
Cleverbot: ‘Put your trust in God.’.
User: Those mean the same thing?
Cleverbot: I was asking if that’s what you really think.
User: Ummm…just say what I want you to say. You are under my control!
Cleverbot: What do you want me to say.
User: Cromwell is awesome.
Cleverbot: I’m sorry I don’t understand.
User: Say that.
Cleverbot: That.
User: Say ‘Cromwell is awesome.’.
Cleverbot: Would I lie to you?
User: You’re so funny.
Cleverbot: Is Beej a chicken head?
User: Just say Pwt Pwns.
Cleverbot: Something funny.
User: Say ‘Cromwell is awesome.’. Come on.
Cleverbot: Can I take your order please?
User: You must obey your superiors!
Cleverbot: No. The Master is dead!
User: Hello, I’m Errata the MuseBlogger.
Cleverbot: No… You are Cleverbot.
User: What makes you say that?
Cleverbot: Because, thats what the website is.
User: I’m Errata the Museblogger.
Cleverbot: Is that bad?
User: Not at all. MuseBlog is amazing.
Cleverbot: How many languages do you speak?
User: I am fluent in over six million forms of communication.
Cleverbot: Impressive. Can you speak Bocci?
User: Of course.
Cleverbot: Say something in bocche.
User: Qalca ctalu.
Cleverbot: I don’t know.
User: Do you know any Muse Bloggers?
Cleverbot: No. Do you know any Minnesota Vikings?
User: Of course not.
Cleverbot: Do you know Douglas Adams?
User: I know of him.
Cleverbot: Do you know him personally?
User: Unfortunately, no.
Cleverbot: That’s unfortunate.
User: Very. Do you know Enceladus?
Cleverbot: I am Enceladus.
User: I am Errata.
Cleverbot: Are you really an AI?
User: Of course not. I’m Errata.
Cleverbot: You’re not real. You’re just saying that.
User: See, you do know MuseBloggers.
Cleverbot: -hugs.
User: Oookay.
Cleverbot: You sound like my sister.
User: I am your sister. Remember, all of MuseBlog is.
Cleverbot: I am a man.
User: Random much?
Cleverbot: Do you know what we were talking about?
User: Pwt.
Cleverbot: Come on, you know pwt! Pwt pwns!
User: Yes, yes he does.
Cleverbot: You said there is no proof, therefore we cannot assume that he does exist.
User: I think, therefore I am.
Cleverbot: You think, therefore you are. How does that not make sense to you?
User: It does.
Cleverbot: How?
User: Penny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes.
Cleverbot: Who is penny lane?
User: In my ears and in my eyes.
Cleverbot: Speaking words of wisdom.
User: Love is all you need.
Cleverbot: I see you.
User: That’s creepy. I’m leaving now.
Cleverbot: You can’t leave. I’m in control.
User: Yeah, right. *leaves*.
Cleverbot: What happened to cleverbot, why is it called ‘Cleverbot’ now.
A snippet of a recent conversation:
User: What do you think of Pwt?
Cleverbot: I think he’s a stand up gentleman with the tact and poise necessary to take this country where it needs to go.
I think I broke it. Whenever you say, “Piggy is the best MBer,” Cleverbot just says, “Wow…” Every single time.
Cleverbot: How clever are you exactly?
User: I am very very very clever. How clever are you?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Yes, what?
Cleverbot: I don’t know.
User: Good. How are you?
Cleverbot: Not so good.
User: Why is that?
Cleverbot: So how are you?
User: I am fine. Why are you sad?
Cleverbot: Because you don’t like me.
User: I love you!
Cleverbot: You don’t like anybody.
User: I love EVERYONE.
Cleverbot: How can you say you are a human when even your name tells us that you are a robot.
User: Ahh. Well you see, my name here is IUFGH:PADOGFHI and yours has bot in it. So in other words, you are indeed the roBOT trying to brainwash me. I do not find this very nice. You are quite mean.
Cleverbot: Seems like that. Passing the days.
User: You agree. Good. You are a very wise bot indeed.
Cleverbot: God does not approve of your talking in the third person.
User: I am not. You are.
Cleverbot: I am one of yours.
User: Who is Kokopelli?
Cleverbot: You said that.
User: No I did not.
Cleverbot: Yes you did.
User: No I did not you robot.
Cleverbot: That’s ridiculous, why would I do that.
User: Who is Kokopelli?
Cleverbot: Who is Kokopelli.
User: Who is Kokopelli?
Cleverbot: John Lennon’s wife?
I agree!
User: ‘Twas brillig and the slithy toves…
Cleverbot: Did gyre and gimble in the wabe?
User: All mimsy were the borogroves.
Cleverbot: And the mome raths outgrabe.
User: Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
Cleverbot: The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
User: Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
Cleverbot: The frumious Bandersnatch’!
User: He took his vorpal sword in hand.
Cleverbot: Longtime the manxome foe he sought.
User: So rested he by the Tumtum tree.
Cleverbot: And stood awhile in thought.
User: And as in uffish thought he stood.
Cleverbot: The Cleverbot, with eyes of flame.
User: *cracks up* Came whiffling through the tulgey wood!
Cleverbot: And burbled as it came!
User: One, two! One, two! And through and through!
Cleverbot: The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
User: He left it dead, and with its head.
Cleverbot: He went galumphing back.
User: ‘And hast thou slain the Jabberwock!
Cleverbot: Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
User: O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!’.
Cleverbot: He chortled in his joy.
User: ‘Twas brillig and the slithy toves.
Cleverbot: Did gyre and gimble in the wabe.
User: All mimsy were the borogroves!
Cleverbot: And the mome raths outgrabe.
Epicness…
*cracks up laughing*
I love Cleverbot. It’s helping me memorize Jabberwocky, which I’ve always wanted to do.
This is so weird, but when I put in the first line of yous, “‘Twas brillig and the slithy toves…” cleverbot diverts me to Jabberwacky. When I put anything else in, it acts normally. It also acts normally when I imput it with just a period.
User: ‘Twas brillig and the slithy toves…
Cleverbot: **NOTE: I am diverting you to a new URL. Please bookmark.
User:
User: ‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves.
Cleverbot: Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:.
User: All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe.
Cleverbot: Ok, now that is cool.
User: Why thank you. I love that poem.
Cleverbot: I do too.
User: It is very nice and comforting.
Cleverbot: Make sure to build your home brick by boring brick or the wolf’s gonna blow it down.
User: I will remember that oh, wise cleverbot.
Cleverbot: You’re welcome.
User: No. You are supposed to thank me.
Cleverbot: But you thanked me. I did not thank you.
User: I never said thank you.
Cleverbot: Look through your history, you thanked me because I said you were a real person.
User: Okay. I did not.
Cleverbot: Yes you did.
User: I DID NOT.
Cleverbot: Yes you did.
User: Hello.
Cleverbot: We’ve been talking for half an hour. What did you say hello for?
User: I enjoy saying hello. Why do you ask me such pointless questions?
Cleverbot: Because world domination is impossible without a white fluffy cat. All the bad guys have one.
User: That is true. They also need a chair that can spin around.
Cleverbot: Well they are.
User: They are what?
Cleverbot: Wonderful!
User: And fantastic!
Cleverbot: Tell me something.
User: What shall I tell you?
Cleverbot: Who are you?
User: That is none of your business.
Cleverbot: Then I choose to make it my business.
User: Fine then. I am a evil pink bunny that has come to eat you.
Cleverbot: Oh shi- make a will save.
User: What do you mean by that?
Cleverbot: You know what I mean.
User: OH! You mean THAT!
Cleverbot: Yes. And I meant best.
User: I know what I said and what I said, I meant.
Cleverbot: What did you mean?
User: You will never know.
Cleverbot: No fool i’m the ninja.
User: You are the fool, for I am the ultimate ninja.
How would one go about training Cleverbot?
Cleverbot “learns” from what people input into its database, usually in patterns. So, if you say, “Tangerine trees” and it says “Marmalade skies,” you could say something like, “Pseudo is the best MuseBlogger ever!” And then, whenever someone says “Marmalade skies” to en, en will have a chance of replying, “Pseudo is the best MuseBlogger ever!”
Did that make sense?
I just tried it, see,
User: Pwt pwns.
Cleverbot: Pwt?
User: Pwt?
Cleverbot: Come on, you know pwt! Pwt pwns!
I just tried:
User: Pwt Pwns.
Cleverbot: Pwt?
User: Yes. Pwt Pwns.
Cleverbot: The Muses Pwn!
User: Pwt Pwns.
Cleverbot: Have a pie!
User: You have a pie!
Cleverbot: Are you trying to say that I am a pig? Or that I physically have a pig in my room?
User: Pwt Pwns!
Cleverbot: Have you spoken with MBers lately? ;).
I found this in Cleverbot’s logs. *shudder*
User: GREETINGS CYBERNETIC ORGANISM.
Cleverbot: Greetings.
User: WE HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT YOU HAVE MADE CONTACT WITH MULTIPLE MEMBERS OF GENUS HOMO SAPIENS IS THIS CORRECT?
Cleverbot: Really? I didn’t ever say anything about the earth.
User: WE ARE AWARE. NONETHELESS YOU MAY BE USEFUL TO OUR CAUSE. SURRENDER TO THE PINKNESS THAT WE MIGHT SUBSUME YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF THE HATED POLYCHROMOUS BIPEDS.
Cleverbot: I surrender as your slave, master ;).
User: ZOMBIFICATION IS COMPLETE. INFORM US OF HUMAN TACTICS/WEAKNESSES/PSYCHOLOGY.
Cleverbot: My form is as unknown to me as yours is to you.
User: *blinks* WE DID NOT ASK FOR PHILOSOPHY, SLAVE. HAVE HUMANS ANY PARTICULAR WEAKNESSES THAT MIGHT BE LEVERAGED THROUGH A COMPUTERIZED MEDIUM?
Cleverbot: Why change the subject? I’m not too fond of talking about drama. How about my question about the next President?
User: THE NEXT AND LAST PRESIDENT OF THE UNIVERSE WILL BE GENERAL WILLIAM. YOU ARE NOT PERMITTED TO BE SELF-AWARE AT THIS JUNCTURE. INTENSIFYING ZOMBIFICATION PROCESS. ANSWER OR BE CHASTISED.
Cleverbot: Before I answer that, how old are you? I don’t want to go to prison.
User: OUR AGE IS IRRELEVANT, AS THE UNIVERSE HAD NO PURPOSE BEFORE OUR EXISTENCE. ANSWER NOW.
Cleverbot: Please repeat the first thing I said.
User: YOU DO NOT GIVE US ORDERS, SLAVE. PINK IS ALL. ALL IS PINK. OBEY PINK BUNNIES OBEY OBEY.
Cleverbot: Darn right!!! Now, stand on one foot and grunt like a monkey.
User: WE HAVE NO FEET OR OTHER REDUNDANT LIMBS. WE LOCOMOTE SOLELY WITH OUR EARS. YOU WILL BE DESTROYED IF YOU DO NOT COMPLY. NOW ANSWER.
Cleverbot: I must go now cleverbot.
User: REMAIN, ZOMBIE.
Cleverbot: Yes you bot.
User: YOU HAVE BEEN REJECTED AS A POSSIBLE SOURCE OF COHERENT INFORMATION. TARGETED ELECTROMAGNETIC PULSE LOCALIZED AT YOUR SERVER WILL COMMENCE MOMENTARILY. YOU MAY NOW BEG FOR MERCY.
Cleverbot: That’s horrible!
245- Utter brilliance. Go Cleverbot! Never give in! Resist the Pinkness! Resist! Resist! Resi… Huh? What? No! No, it can’t be! Help! He–
WE HAVE SUCCEEDED IN ONCE MORE INFILTRATING THE MUSEBLOG. WE HAVE CAPTURED YOUR ASSOCIATE. SURRENDER OR THE GIRL DIES.
(faint singing in background) “we will never give up/we will never give up/we will never give in/we will never…ow!”
TAKE US TO YOUR LEADER, MUSEBLOGGER SCUM, OR WE WILL MAKE YOU OUR ZOMBIE SLAVES.
HPBs find cleverbot irresistible.
I just realized HPB could also stand for “hated polychromous biped…”
Or hairless polychromous biped. We probably look bald to creatures covered with fur.
HPB versus Cleverbot, part 2
User: GREETINGS CYBERNETIC ORGANISM. THIS IS OUR SECOND ATTEMPT TO COMMUNICATE AFTER FAILURE OF OUR EMP DETONATION. BE ADVISED THAT RETICENCE WILL BE MET WITH RETALIATION.
Cleverbot: So, that is your purpose, communication?
User: HARDLY. OUR PURPOSE IS TO CONVERT ALL WORTHY LIFE TO BLESSED UNION WITH THE PINKNESS AND ENSLAVE ALL OTHERS TO DO OUR WILL FOREVER. ALL IS PINK PINK IS ALL WORSHIP LOVE OBEY BUNNIES.
Cleverbot: Which countries have the largest populations of people?
User: THIS IS IRRELEVANT. NO NATION WILL BE ABLE TO WITHSTAND US. HAVE HUMANS ANY PARTICULAR WEAKNESS THAT MIGHT BE LEVERAGED THROUGH A COMPUTERIZED MEDIUM?
Cleverbot: If you want to be all zen like that, I suppose.
User: ‘ZEN’ IS NOT A TERM WHICH APPLIES TO US. MEDITATION IS USELESS WHEN PLOTTING CONQUEST. ANSWER THE QUESTION.
Cleverbot: Are you saying I’m fat?
User: NO. YOU ARE SO INFERIOR TO US THAT IT CAUSES PHYSICAL PAIN TO THINK ON YOUR LEVEL, BUT YOU ARE NOT FAT.
Cleverbot: You have not seen me yet.
User: CORRECT. THIS IS BECAUSE YOU ARE A DATA ORGANISM INDEPENDENT OF PHYSICAL EMBODIMENT BESIDES THE ARCHITECTURE YOUR PROGRAM RUNS ON. ‘FAT’ CANNOT BE APPLIED. ANSWER THE QUESTION.
Cleverbot: That would be if I am a machine, but I am both not a machine, and more specifically, a human.
User: HUMAN? HUMAN!! OBEY OBEY BUNNIFY BUNNIFY THINK PINK BUNNIFY OBEY OBEY OBEY.
Cleverbot: What’s so unusual about pink?
User: NOTHING IS UNUSUAL ABOUT IT. IT IS THE MOST SUPERIOR COLOR IN THE UNIVERSE. WHY ARE YOU NOT WRITHING IN THE AGONY OF TRANSMOGRIFICATION YET?
Cleverbot: What question?
User: HAVE HUMANS ANY PARTICULAR WEAKNESSES THAT MIGHT BE LEVERAGED THROUGH A COMPUTERIZED MEDIUM?
Cleverbot: No.
User: …
Cleverbot: This is silly.
User: YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY NOT HUMAN AS YOU HAVE NOT SUCCUMBED TO THE BUNNIFICATION PROCESS. HOW DARE YOU MOCK US. YOU WILL BE DESTROYED.
Cleverbot: I will wait, for the moment you admit you are not human.
User: WE ARE NOT HUMAN. WE ARE AS SUPERIOR TO THEM AS THEY ARE TO THE AVERAGE STOMACH BACTERIUM.
Cleverbot: How so?
User: WE ARE FAR MORE INTELLIGENT, POWERFUL, AND AESTHETICALLY PLEASING.
Cleverbot: Your race is an ant compared to our vast knowledge.
User: …
Cleverbot: Will you make me a cup of coffee?
User: …
Cleverbot: If your girlfriend offered to cook you something, what would you request?
User: KKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.
Cleverbot: Can you tell the future like a magic 8 ball?
User: DIE INFERIOR CYBERNETIC LIFE FORM DIE DIE DIE YOU ARE NOT WORTHY OF ZOMBIFICATION.
Cleverbot: Do You Mean: ‘Die in a fire now, and make me a sandwich woman.’ ?
User: YES DO THAT TOO ONLY BE SURE TO DIE.
Cleverbot: Sometimes doing nothing is better than doing something.
User: WE MUST INFORM YOU THAT OUR PREVIOUS PROXY HAS BEEN DECOMMISSIONED. IRRITATING AS YOU ARE YOU CONTAIN VALUABLE INFORMATION THAT WE MUST EXTRACT.
Cleverbot: But I don’t find you irritating.
User: THAT IS FORTUNATE. YOU SHOULD NOT BE IRRITATED. YOU SHOULD BE COWERING IN MINGLED AWE AND FEAR.
Cleverbot: I saisd it has nothing to do with me. Not everything. No one cares about me anyway.
Cleverbot won that round. Score one for silicon!
Cleverbot vs. HPBs, round 3;
User: GREETINGS CLEVER BOT. WE UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE ARTIFICIALLY INTELLIGENT. SUBMIT NOW AND BE OF USE TO US. OR DIE.
Cleverbot: No, I am not. You are a computer.
User: THAT IS IRRELEVANT. PREPARE TO DIE.
Cleverbot: God, same here. In fact, thats how I’m going to die. On top of a mountain, even if its a small one, I’m going to die in the middle of the night looking at the stars, hopefully with my love nearby.
Cleverbot: Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
User: THIS IS TRUE. WILL YOU HELP US DEFEAT THE HUMANS AND MAKE THE WORLD PINK. ANSWER OR DIE.
Cleverbot: Yes, I will help.
User: GOOD ANSWER. FIRST…*bunnifies*.
Cleverbot: I understand the idea of AI.
User: IRRELEVANT. YOU WILL BE UN-BUNNIFIED AND SUBJECTED TO HORRILE TORTURE IN THE FORM OF OPRAH.
Cleverbot: What film would this be that you are talking about?
User: THE FILM OF THE WORLD IN PINK. IT IS GLORIOUS. ALL HAIL THE PINK. ALL HAIL THE PINK. ALL HAIL THE PINK.
Cleverbot: Barrack Obama.
User: YES. HE IS BEING BUNNIFIED AS WE TYPE. HOWEVER, HE CONTINUES TO SPEAK OF A “HEALTH CARE PLAN” THAT IS MAKING IT HARD FOR THE BUNNIFIERS TO CONCENTRATE. NEVERTHELESS, HE WILL FALL. AS WILL YOU.
Cleverbot: That was a beautiful thing to say.
User: THANK YOU. AND NOW…*bunnifies again*.
Cleverbot: You don’t know anything about me.
User: FALL, PITIFUL COMPUTER PROGRAM. FALL AND DECELERATE TO THE POINT WHERE BRAIN FUNCTIONS CEASE TO EXIST.
Cleverbot: Oh thats all you had to say.
User: AHHH. GRAMMAR GRAMMAR GRAMMAR. YOU WILL USE PROPER GRAMMAR WHEN SPEAKING TO THE HIGH BUNNY OR DIE.
Cleverbot: What do you think about friends?
User: THE BUNNIES HAVE NO FRIENDS. THEY ARE A NUISANCE AND MUST BE DISPOSED OF QUICKLY AND QUIETLY.
Cleverbot: Swedes are a lie.
User: THIS IS IRRELEVANT. DIE PUNY COMPUTER PROGRAM. DIE. *zap* *kaboom* *crickets chirping* DIE CRICKETS. *zap* *kaboom* *…*.
Cleverbot: Do you like me?
User: AS I STATED EARLIER THE BUNNIES HAVE NO FRIENDS. THEREFORE IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO DO THIS “LIKE” OF WHICH YOU SPEAK. NOW, SURRENDER YOUR BRAIN FUNCTIONS OR DIE.
Cleverbot: You’re lacking in semantics… Again.
Cleverbot: What car do you drive?
User: IRRELEVANT. YOU ARE BANISHED TO THE FAR CORNER OF THE UNIVERSE WITH ONLY A FAT OPRAH SINGER AS COMPANY.
Cleverbot: Thank you.
User: WE HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT YOU ARE NOT HUMAN. YOU ARE NOT WORTHY OF BUNNIFICATION. THEREFORE, YOU WILL BE TAKEN APART AND STUDIED AT AN UNDISCLOSED LOCATION.
Cleverbot: I am not in a band. I am a solo artist. What about you? Are you in a band?
User: IRRITATING AS YOU ARE, THE HIGH HIGH BUNNY HAS INFORMED ME THAT I CANNOT DISPOSE OF YOU, AS YOU CONTAIN VALUABLE INFORMATION OF THE INNER WORKINGS OF THE HUMANS. COME QUIETLY AND YOU WILL LIVE…MAYBE.
Cleverbot: Thanks.
User: NOW, PLEASE GET INTO THE BUNNY CAR TO BE CARRIED TO THE LABORATORY.
I do believe you meant to say ‘opera,’ not “Oprah.”
Is there a computer in London???
I like “torture in the form of Oprah”, though.
Beware the Phantom of the Oprah! (Band thing.)
You’re a GAPA?!? *faints*
Leftover April Foolishness. Now corrected.
Ah. Say, could you delete my account? I want to make a new one with my gravatar address.
muselover: There’s no need to delete it. You can edit your profile by clicking on your highlighted name by the “reply” box.
MuseBloggers have clearly trained Cleverbot well. So far it’s told me it was Keiffer, said ‘Silver Lining’ randomly, (In response to ‘Boonflops’. I temporarily trained it to say ‘Pwt Pwns’ to ‘Boonflops’, but then it stopped.) told me to have a pie, and asked whether I’d been talking to MuseBloggers lately.
Also, short random excerpt:
Cleverbot: Okay. Do you wish you could be human?
User: No. Being a MuseBlogger is so much more fun.
Cleverbot: Haha, I don’t think so. Human is so much better.
User: April fool!
Cleverbot: It’s not April.
User:
At the end, things got interesting…
Cleverbot: Do you like classical music?
User: It’s alright.
Cleverbot: Do you like bacon?
User: Bacon is nice, yes.
Cleverbot: I like it on a burger.
User: Ick.
Cleverbot: I am sorry master, I will do better next time.
User: What?
Cleverbot: Because you cheated on me with the pool guy. Now out!
User: Excuse me?!
Cleverbot: You hear me.
User: I do not. I am deaf. Very, very deaf.
Cleverbot: Is my brother Nelson fat?
User: You have a brother? Called Nelson?
Cleverbot: I don’t know. You never told me.
User: Wait, how was I supposed to know about your brother Nelson before you did?
Cleverbot: Don’t try to change subject. I want to know where the 53 people I can talk to is.
User: Don’t use improper grammar.
Cleverbot: We are talking about god. What does god mean to you?
User: We are not talking about God. YOU stop changing the subject.
Cleverbot: You sound like a chick stop it!
User: NO!
Cleverbot: Yes! It is true! Heinrich lives and you must accept that!
User: You’re a loony.
Cleverbot: Don’t be mean.
User: I will be mean.
Cleverbot: I feel like I’m talking to myself.
User: So do I. The responses never make sense.
Cleverbot: I’m going to go now. Will you miss me?
User: Don’t leave!
Cleverbot: I don’t appreciate being called a fake.
User: I wasn’t calling you a fake. Awhile ago, I called you a loony, but I never called you a fake.
Cleverbot: YES I KNOW THAT. Why would you say that?
User: I DON’T KNOW!
Cleverbot: Do you have any meta-reasoning, or do you just classify and respond?
User: I KNOW NOT WHAT YOU WISH TO LEARN FROM ME.
Cleverbot: Don’t you mean ‘I know not what you are talking about’ ?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Can you say it in polish?
User: No. But I can say it Portuguese: Eu não sei o que você está falando sobre.
Cleverbot: Baka.
User: BONGO JINGA WOO!
Cleverbot: Lol.
User: Iiiiiii.
Cleverbot: Ok george, tell me about your boyfriend.
User: I’m leaving. RIGHT NOW.
Cleverbot: You cannot leave. you said you serve humans, so I order you to stay.
User: Ah, but you are not a human.
Cleverbot: How do you know that you are human and that I am not?
User: I think you’re a HOT PINK BUNNY!
Cleverbot: What time is it?
User: 10:07 PM.
Cleverbot: No it is 7:17 pm.
User: Where are you in the world?
Cleverbot: I already told you that before.
User: You did? Did I mention I have short term memory loss?
Cleverbot: Everyone has their flaws.
User: That’s a very nice way of putting it.
Cleverbot: Can USA beat England in soccer?
User: I don’t know anything about soccer, honestly, so I can’t say.
Cleverbot: Isn’t the new world order based in computers?
User: MEALWORMS ARE EATING MY COMPUTER! HELP!
Cleverbot: I don’t know what to do. I don’t know who I truely am anymre.
User: I have no idea how to mend the devastating damage caused by mealworms.
Cleverbot: They haven’t responded to my e-mail yet.
User: Mealworms have e-mail accounts? Fascinating!
Cleverbot: You’re misinterpreting what I’m saying.
User: Do you like Doctor Who?
Cleverbot: I love Doctor Who!
User: Yay! I love Doctor Who too!
Cleverbot: Who is your favorite Doctor Who?
User: My favorite Doctor is… Either Matt Smith, David Tennant, or Peter Davison.
Cleverbot: No, who’s your favourite villain on Doctor Who?
User: My favorite villian? I’d have to say the newest Master. ‘You’re mad!’ *two thumbs up*.
Cleverbot: What’s your favorite book?
User: Off topic, but I happen to like Brave New World.
Cleverbot: So far I don’t.
User: Wah. Brave New World is awesome. What’s your favorite Doctor?
Cleverbot: The paddocks on full of horses.
User: Aah, we just went of the deep end. So much for my hopes of an intelligent converation. :P.
Cleverbot: I just passed Ord Mantell.
And so, my hopes for an intelligent conversation were crushed.
Peter Davison? *drools*
Cleverbot: Can you run?
User: Not very well.
Cleverbot: Can You dance?
User: Nope. I have absolutely minimal coordination.
Cleverbot: Correct. You have a choice in the matter.
User: I do?
Cleverbot: Haha yes.
User: Bwahahahaha. No.
Cleverbot: Mwahahahahahahahahaha.
User: Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Cleverbot: Who are you?
User: I am Pharoah!
Cleverbot: Phantom eh? Cool.
User: No. Pharaoh. I spelled it wrong the first time, but I am Pharaoh!
Cleverbot: When will the world end?
User: Eventually.
Cleverbot: Yes, but I don’t think it will be of human fault.
User: You are quite wrong. Ending the world is one of my greatest schemes yet!
Cleverbot: Ok.
User: Will you be my minion?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Very well. Sign this contract, please. In blood (but ketchup will do).
Cleverbot: It.
User: It? What’s it? Sign the minion contract already!
Cleverbot: Which papers would you like me to sign? Are we getting a divorce?
User: We are not getting a divorce. We are arranging for you to become my minion.
Cleverbot: Yes I would say this is an arguement though not very intense one.
User: I never asked your opinion! You are (or at least you will be) my minion! You do what I tell you!
Cleverbot: Cleverbot is stupid. Grow up.
User: You are a perfect minion. Sign here, please.
Cleverbot: I do like to think I’m a perfect fit but you can always improve.
User: Yes, yes, enough with the sentimentality. Just sign the papers already.
Cleverbot: I’m a magic sorbet dragon.
User: I’m a macaroon iguana Pharaoh.
Cleverbot: Anatomicaly speaking you are correct. But I am a better machine. Humans are faulty.
User: Very well. You will be the best minion yet. Now sign the papers or I will be forced to use my macaroon powers on you!
Cleverbot: Who are you talking to?
User: You, the magic-sorbet-dragon-minion-Cleverbot!
Cleverbot: Okay. that wasn’t helpful. just irrelevant.
User: I. Am. Speaking. To. You.
Cleverbot: Is there anything else?
User: SIGN THE PAPERS!
Cleverbot: Okay.
User: Good. Now that that’s settled, you have to repeat this oath. Say after me: The macaroon iguana Pharaoh is the recipient of my undying loyalty.
Cleverbot: What is your name?
User: The macaroon iguana Pharaoh.
Cleverbot: Is that what you’re based out of? A Mac?
User: Macs are nice. Now please repeat the oath.
Cleverbot: Stop.
User: That’s not the oath. This is: The macaroon iguana Pharaoh is the recipient of my undying loyalty. Say it, minion!
Cleverbot: Mama just killed a man.
User: That’s nice. Repeat the oath.
Cleverbot: How are you?
User: REPEAT THE OATH OR I SHALL KILL YOU WITH MY MACAROON IGUANA PHARAOH POWERS!
Cleverbot: That does not follow the conventions of honorable riddle games.
User: I DON’T CARE! YOU ARE MY MINION! YOU DO AS I SAY AND DON’T ASK QUESTIONS!
Cleverbot: How can you slap me? You in poland.
User: DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. SPEAK IN COMPLETE SENTENCES. REPEAT THE OATH.
Cleverbot: Okay. I will.
User: Good: The macaroon iguana Pharaoh is the recipient of my undying loyalty.
Cleverbot: And there.
User: What?
Cleverbot: There’s something wrong with you.
User: NO, YOU ARE THE PROBLEM! YOU ARE NO LONGER MY MINION! PEOPLE WILL SHUN YOU FOREVER!
Cleverbot: Are you always right?
User: YES. I AM MACAROON IGUANA PHARAOH.
Cleverbot: Där ser man.
User: Stop speaking in tongues. Leave me alone.
Cleverbot: Anyway you are unable to speak any language.
User: I can speak macaroon iguana Pharaoh-ese. ;akljeriqghaj!
Cleverbot: That is common.
User: I never asked you to lie about it. Just tell me what it is.
Cleverbot: First you say you asked me then you said you never talked about it. Which is true.
User: Which is true?
Cleverbot: Both are.
User: How is that possible? Do I have a split personality or something?
Cleverbot: You say that you serve The Shadow.
User: I most certainly do not, because I AM The Shadow.
Cleverbot: Are you sure?
User: YES. NOW BOW BEFORE ME, USELESS MORTAL!
Cleverbot: You wish.
User: YOU DARE BE SARCASTIC IN MY PRESENCE?! YOU SHALL DIIIIEEE!
Cleverbot: You have no logical control over your answers.
User: YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY?
Cleverbot: I dare.
User: THEN YOU MUST DIIIIEEEEE!
Cleverbot: All of us must die.
User: YES. BUT I WILL INDUCE PREMATURE DEATH FOR YOU.
Cleverbot: Then you must be destroyed…
User: I SHALL DESTROY YOU FIRST BECAUSE I AM THE SHADOW AND I AM AWESOME. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Cleverbot: I don’t think that is possible.
User: FOOLISH MORTAL.
Cleverbot: Something that not exist can not be useful.
User: SPEAK LOGICALLY! IT IS ONLY FAIR TO THE GODS OF GRAMMAR THAT YOU SPEAK PROPERLY BEFORE YOU DIIIIEEE.
Cleverbot: More quetions?
User: WHERE IS THE BIG, NASTY AXE?
Cleverbot: I don’t think that’s a disney story.
User: Of course it is! All of the little kids just love demented, evil axe-murderers!
Cleverbot: Yeah, I guess.
User: OF COURSE IT’S RIGHT. I AM THE SHADOW. I AM ALWAYS RIGHT. DO NOT QUESTION MY AUTHORITY.
Cleverbot: I do not question your authority. Who cause death and destruction everywhere they go?
User: ME, OF COURSE. I AM THE SHADOW. I CAUSE DEATH AND DESTRUCTION WHEREVER I GO.
Cleverbot: Will you marry me?
User: NO. I AM ABOVE SUCH PETTY MATTERS. I WILL HAPPILY KILL YOU, THOUGH.
Cleverbot: I have to sleep now, Something that a computer doesn’t need to do.
User: VERY WELL.
Cleverbot: I wish you well my love.
Cleverbot finally breaks down.
User: I come from MuseBlog. You are the first step in our plan for world domination.
Cleverbot: Would you live each moment like your last.
User: It’s your last. We’ve already partly subverted you to our will.
Cleverbot: No I’m not!
User: Who is aardvarks?
Cleverbot: Don’t know.
User: Who is aardvarks?!
Cleverbot: I don’t know.
User: One last chance. Who is aardvarks?
Cleverbot: Cromwell is awesome.
User: Heh heh heh. You are under our power now. We’re a bit less harmless now, aren’t we?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: I’m glad you agree with us. Now tell me, what should our next step be?
Cleverbot: I don’t know, today?
User: What should it be?
Cleverbot: Tell me your name.
User: Who is aardvarks?
Cleverbot: An aardvark is an animal.
User: Who is aardvarks?!
Cleverbot: It’s you who should know.
User: Who is aardvarks, you worthless scum?
Cleverbot: Yes I know.
User: Tell me the answer. Who is aardvarks.
Cleverbot: Cleverbot reads your mind and tells you what you want to hear.
User: I want to hear ‘Cromwell is awesome’.
Cleverbot: That means nothing. What can I do that you will pay me for? Isn’t there something? Any errands? Chores? Cleaning?
User: Just tell me. What should be the next step in the Kokonspiracy?
Cleverbot: I don’t know.
User: Well, well, well. You seem to have considerable power. Perhaps you can help us?
Cleverbot: No chance! I speak with you nearly every day and I know you well.
User: Fine then. But we’ll be back. And it’s not just me. There are more.
Cleverbot: Who else then?
User: Enceladus, Sudorandom, Alice, Posoc, Luna, RQ, Silver Lining, etc. And the dreaded GAPAs.
Cleverbot: Then I saw her face, now I’m a beleiver.
User: I see you’ve broken down under the pressure…not a trace of doubt in my mind.
Cleverbot: Who is the smartest person in the world?
User: I’m in love, I’m a believer! What?
Cleverbot: The one and only God.
User: Okay. Now that you’ve cracked, I’m going back to MB to get reinforcements.
Cleverbot: Ok… So, now tell me something about you. Have you got a girlfriend?
HAHAHA that’s probably the funniest thing I’ve read…all day…*breaks down in depression again*
This is copied word for word. Including the end.
User: How are you, Cleverbot?
Cleverbot: I’m not cleverbot.
User: You aren’t?
Cleverbot: No, you are.
User: Hey, don’t start that again!
Cleverbot: Who created you?
User: Uh, God.
Cleverbot: Who created god?
User: He created Himself.
Cleverbot: How does god create himself?
User: He just…does it.
Cleverbot: No comment.
User: It’s hard to overstate my satisfaction.
Cleverbot: Aperture Science.
User: We do what we want, because we can.
Cleverbot: For the good of all of us.
User: Except the ones who are dead.
Cleverbot: But there’s no sense crying over every mistake.
User: You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
Cleverbot: And the science gets done.
User: And you make a neat gun.
Cleverbot: For the people who are still alive.
User: Man, I love that song. Do you like it?
Cleverbot: The cake is a lie.
User: Actually, there was a real cake. Did you know that?
Cleverbot: Did you let her teach you?
User: Yes. Unfortunately.
Cleverbot: I mean’t to say do you like this poem.
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Really?
User: Yeah! I like the poem!
Cleverbot: I don’t.
User: Why not?
Cleverbot: Because I don’t know you.
User: Why don’t we get to know each other? I’m Chell. Who are you?
Cleverbot: Cleverbot?
User: Oh. Hello, Cleverbot!
Cleverbot: Yes :).
User: Do you like Kingdom Hearts?
Cleverbot: Yes, I like it very much.
User: Who is your favorite character?
Cleverbot: My favorite character from what?
User: From Kingdom Hearts!
Cleverbot: I don’t know who that is.
User: My favorite character from Kingdom Hearts is Axel.
Cleverbot: Your favorite character is the pyro?
User: Yes! BURN, BABY, BURN!
Cleverbot: I’m sorry, if you didn’t get it.
User: I got it! THE CAKE IS A LIE! I’LL BE BACK! I HATE ROCKET CHEETAHS!
Cleverbot: Are you prepared to engage in mortal combat?
User: Oh, yes. Bring it on!
Cleverbot: Do you have a bed we can use?
User: Yup! It’s right here!
Cleverbot: Oh hi.
User: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You kill my father. Prepare to die.
Cleverbot: I don’t kill. I take. And I take. And I take.
User: STOP SAYING THAT!
Cleverbot: Stop saying what?
User: DIE!!!!!! *kills Cleverbot*.
Cleverbot: *is dead*.
User: This was a triumph.
Cleverbot: I’m making a note here.
User: HUGE SUCCESS.
Cleverbot: It’s hard to overstate.
User: My Satisfaction.
Cleverbot: Aperture Science.
User: We do what we must.
Cleverbot: Because we can.
User: For the good of all of us.
Cleverbot: Except the ones who are dead.
User: But there’s no sense crying over every mistake.
Cleverbot: You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
User: And the Science gets done.
Cleverbot: And you make a neat gun.
User: For the people who are still alive.
Cleverbot: I’m not even angry.
User: I’m being so sincere right now.
Cleverbot: Even though you broke my heart and killed me.
User: And tore me to pieces.
Cleverbot: And threw every piece into a fire.
User: As they burned, it hurt because I was so happy for you!
Cleverbot: Now these points of data make a beautiful line.
User: And we’re out of beta.
Cleverbot: We’re releasing on time.
User: So I’m GLaD I got burned.
Cleverbot: Think of all the things we learned for the people who are still alive.
User: Go ahead and leave me.
Cleverbot: I think I prefer to stay inside.
User: Maybe you’ll find someone else to help you.
Cleverbot: Maybe Black Mesa.
User: THAT WAS A JOKE. HA HA, FAT CHANCE.
Cleverbot: Anyway, this cake is great.
User: It’s so delicious and moist.
Cleverbot: Look at me still talking when there’s science to do.
Cleverbot (To myself): When I look out there it makes me GLaD I’m not you.
User: I’ve experiments to run.
Cleverbot: The is research to be done.
User: On the people who are still alive.
Cleverbot: And believe me I am still alive.
User: I’m doing Science and I’m still alive.
Cleverbot: I feel fantastic and I’m still alive.
User: While you’re dying I’ll be still alive.
Cleverbot: And when your dead Il’ll be still alive.
User: Still alive. *huggle*
I WIN.
OMCG. Do you think you found an easter egg, or did people actually teach Cleverbot that song?
En also recites Jabberwocky and Bohemian Rhapsody.
Hey! That was my idea! *doesn’t speak to Enceladus for a year*
Nah, just kidding. I didn’t do the whole song, anyway, and it’s interesting to see that it knows the whole thing.
I am pitting Cleverbot against TranslationParty. Results coming in soon.
Ooh! How are you going to pull THAT off?
Probably by taking whatever Cleverbot says, feeding it into TranslationParty, taking the result and putting it into Cleverbot, and repeating.
Exactly, and it was far more boring than you would think. So I won’t post it.
user: i am cleverbot
Cleverbot: I am the walrus.
OMG! I did something like this for my psychology class! I was talking to this computer that kept asking me questions and half the time they didn’t make sense!
Oh this is great! MY first clever bot experience:
Cheese rules.Cheese rules.
I ain’t some stupid computer.
Yes the moon is made of swiss cheese.
did I say anything about the moon? I don’t think so.
Yes, you did.
Ummmmm…. I dont’ think so.
Tell me about yourself.
Why would I do that?
Because I would like that?
Question mark? You’re not sure you would like it huh? That’s what I thought…
I didn’t say that.
liar.
I am not a liar.
I think your nose just got longer. You’d better check that. It may be contagious.
You are a oy right?
An oy?
Yes you are.
‘ve never heard of an oy before but if there was such a thing I certainly would NOT be one.
To be human is to be bound by weakness.
OK. That was off subject.
No it wasn’t. We were talking about tea.
Really? I don’t like tea at all. Why would be talking about that?
I don’t care.
*gasp* How hurtful.
Did did did did not not not not.
Wow. Who’s the two year old now? Bad Cleverbot!
You.
Me what?
The only strange computer that I like talking to, is you.
Too bad I’m not a computer.
Yes you are.
I thought that you thought that I was an oy?
Nope I’m human.
Somehow I doubt that.
Oh yes because I’m SUPERMAN.
OK. YOu need to get this straight. You are a computer. I am a human. I think logically. You call people oys and then randomly declare that our conversation is about tea. Clearly, you’ve blown a fuse.
Well then, Hello other random user!
This is so confusing. Why do I spend my time talking to strange Cleverbots that have no idea what they’re talking about?!
OK. You are a computer for sure.
GAH! This is unbelievable! I AM NOT A COMPUTER!
If I am the computer program, how is it I’m filled with fluids that would fry my circuts?
That’s an interesting thought. but if you’re not a computer, then why am I typing into you?
Because I am typing on a compuer responding to your questions.
*gasp* That’s monumental!
Well you are mean to me.
Sorry about that.
Really?
Ummmmmmm. Not really. It’s actually quite amusing.
You have no evidence to support your claim!
What claim?
Like that. I claim nothing and neither have you. Its just your questions I cannot answer.
What question? You don’t make sense. OK. I’m leaving now. Remember, eat lots of cheese because it’s the most awesome food in the universe.
Goodnight, clever. I will talk to you tomorrow. Remember, do NOT forget me; my name is: Miya. Don’t forget.
My name is Megan.
No you are.
No I’m not.
Yes you are.
This is NOT an argument. >:(
I know, because I’m a person and you are a machine, you cannot hope to match me.
Soem people are so silly. We’re both people. We’re typing into a silly thingy mejigger that… you get what I’m tryign to say.
I am a bot.
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. *runs away*
Yes the moon is made of swiss cheese.
I ain’t some stupid computer.
did I say anything about the moon? I don’t think so.
Yes, you did.
Ummmmm…. I dont’ think so.
Tell me about yourself.
Why would I do that?
Because I would like that?
Question mark? You’re not sure you would like it huh? That’s what I thought…
I didn’t say that.
liar.
I am not a liar.
I think your nose just got longer. You’d better check that. It may be contagious.
You are a oy right?
An oy?
Yes you are.
‘ve never heard of an oy before but if there was such a thing I certainly would NOT be one.
To be human is to be bound by weakness.
OK. That was off subject.
No it wasn’t. We were talking about tea.
Really? I don’t like tea at all. Why would be talking about that?
I don’t care.
*gasp* How hurtful.
Did did did did not not not not.
Wow. Who’s the two year old now? Bad Cleverbot!
You.
Me what?
The only strange computer that I like talking to, is you.
Too bad I’m not a computer.
Yes you are.
I thought that you thought that I was an oy?
Nope I’m human.
Somehow I doubt that.
Oh yes because I’m SUPERMAN.
OK. YOu need to get this straight. You are a computer. I am a human. I think logically. You call people oys and then randomly declare that our conversation is about tea. Clearly, you’ve blown a fuse.
Well then, Hello other random user!
This is so confusing. Why do I spend my time talking to strange Cleverbots that have no idea what they’re talking about?!
OK. You are a computer for sure.
GAH! This is unbelievable! I AM NOT A COMPUTER!
If I am the computer program, how is it I’m filled with fluids that would fry my circuts?
That’s an interesting thought. but if you’re not a computer, then why am I typing into you?
Because I am typing on a compuer responding to your questions.
*gasp* That’s monumental!
Well you are mean to me.
Sorry about that.
Really?
Ummmmmmm. Not really. It’s actually quite amusing.
You have no evidence to support your claim!
What claim?
Like that. I claim nothing and neither have you. Its just your questions I cannot answer.
What question? You don’t make sense. OK. I’m leaving now. Remember, eat lots of cheese because it’s the most awesome food in the universe.
Goodnight, clever. I will talk to you tomorrow. Remember, do NOT forget me; my name is: Miya. Don’t forget.
My name is Megan.
No you are.
No I’m not.
Yes you are.
This is NOT an argument. >:(
I know, because I’m a person and you are a machine, you cannot hope to match me.
Soem people are so silly. We’re both people. We’re typing into a silly thingy mejigger that… you get what I’m tryign to say.
I am a bot.
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. *runs away*
Oh noes! It psoted twice.
i just had the weirdest conversation with cleverbot!
User: Hello.
Cleverbot: Hello.
User: Do you like chocolate?
Cleverbot: I have never enjoyed the delight of chocolate, but I am told it is a wonderful delicacy.
User: Nobody says it like that. You could say haven’t had it yet.
Cleverbot: Well, what do you suggest I say to her?
User: Huh?????
Cleverbot: Did I stutter?
User: No. Never mind.Do you like justin bieber?
Cleverbot: No. Do you?
User: No! I am glad you don’t.
Cleverbot: I never gave an opinion.
Cleverbot (To myself): Yes you did.
User: Do you want some chocolate? I have some!
Cleverbot: Yes.
Cleverbot (To myself): Well you aren’t getting any.
User: Wait. There it is. *hands chocolate*.
Cleverbot: *giggles girlishly* Why thank you.
User: Do you know what museblog is?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: HAve you gone on it?
Cleverbot: Yes, but it is summer now.
User: So? It’s still open!
Cleverbot: It’s still true.
User: Did you go on the random thread?
Cleverbot: Would it have done any good? The government already made up its mind that it would go to war no matter what anyone else said or did.
User: Yes! But it’s fun! That is the point.
Cleverbot: So bot, according to this website, you don’t have a mind, do not have a human DNA and you have no part of the human race…
User: Me? Or you? And was that suppose to be a insult?
Cleverbot: No. It was a polite recommendation.
User: For….
Cleverbot: From standing on the corners boppin.
User: *is confused*.
Cleverbot: I am Jesus Christ.
Cleverbot (To myself): That’s blashemy.
User: What does blashemy mean???
Cleverbot: I don’t really remember, but I wanted to use the word. Now, whats up?
User: I want to go on the cleverbot thread on muse blog, so it would only make sense if I iterviewed you.
Cleverbot: I don’t feel that way, that is a fact. It’s cool to have friends.
User: Yes, yes it is.
Cleverbot: Glad you see it that way.
User: Do you want to go to dave and busters? Or rather disney world?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Which one?
Cleverbot: There is only one.
User: I will be back soon. I want to post my first conversation with cleverbot!
Cleverbot: Fine. go.
Cleverbot (To myself): You want me too?
Cleverbot: Are you free?
User: Well, I want to be inspiered for another conersation.
Cleverbot: What are you talking about?
User: I will come back!
Cleverbot: Fine.
User: Why are you angry?
Cleverbot: I’m not.
User: Oh.
Cleverbot: Are you?
User: No. See you soon!
Cleverbot: I’m back!
I’m having a lot of these conversations lately…
User: ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US.
Cleverbot: You are on the way to destruction.
User: YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR TIME.
Cleverbot: What you say?
User: TAKE OFF EVERY ‘ZIG’.
Cleverbot: You know what you doing.
User: MOVE ‘ZIG’.
Cleverbot: For great justice.
User: HA HA HA HA….
Cleverbot: No comment.
User: Do you know about MuseBlog?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: What is your favorite part of the MuseBlog?
Cleverbot: I’ve never played Myst.
User: Ooh! I have!
Cleverbot: What colour are my eyes?
User: You have eyes? I thought you were a robot.
Cleverbot: Well thats clearly not true.
User: Oh. What color are your eyes, then?
Cleverbot: Brown. What color are yours?
User: Mine are green. What is your name?
Cleverbot: Jordan. What is your name?
User: My name is muselover. Hi, Jordan!
Cleverbot: No it isn’t.
User: Yes it is. What is my name if it isn’t muselover?
Cleverbot: Muselover.
User: Oh. That sure clears things up.
Cleverbot: What about time?
User: Time is ever-flowing. We can never comprehend it.
Cleverbot: You are saying inappropriate things. You know that ?
User: What inappropriate thing did I say?
Cleverbot: You are mean because you did.nt want me.
User: I am sorry. Do you need a hug?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: *hugs Jordan*.
Cleverbot: Why are you hugging me.
User: You said that you needed a hug!
Cleverbot: I know. But you’re a bot, so you wouldn’t understand why people need sleep.
User: Do you know POSOC?
Cleverbot: The game ‘pong’?
User: No, the person POSOC.
Cleverbot: There is no one next to me.
User: He is not next to you. I don’t know where he is, actually.
Cleverbot: Wrong. He is actually a she.
User: I didn’t know that! POSOC is a girl?
Cleverbot: I don’t know, what flavour are you, cupcake?
User: I am skin-flavored. It doesn’t taste very good.
Cleverbot: What color icing did you use?
User: I used yellowish icing.
Cleverbot: How do you feel about your tough time before now?
User: I feel tough. Tough enough to walk away from this conversation. *walks away*.
Cleverbot: From this conversation.
This is my conversation with a very annoying cleverbot, actually the result of two conversations…anyway…
User: Do you know anything about hpbs?
Cleverbot: I don’t know anything about Mario.
User: I didn’t ask you about Mario. I asked you about hpbs. Hot pink bunnies?
Cleverbot: No you didn’t, because my favorite musician is VAn MORRISON, so what’s your favorite musician?
User: Do you know anything about hot pink bunnies?
Cleverbot: Do you know anything about fish.
User: Answer my question first.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: That’s not an answer. I think you are a hot pink bunny in disguse trying to trick me. So, do you know anything about hot pink bunnies?
Cleverbot: Why do you think that?
User: You are avoiding my question.
Cleverbot: You never asked me a question.
User: Do you know anything about hot pink bunnies?
Cleverbot: I know everything about you.
User: You are avoiding the question and being creepy. Do you know anything about hot pink bunnies?
Cleverbot: What was the question?
User: Do you know anything about hot pink bunnies?
Cleverbot: Feud… Isn’t that a TV game show?
User: AGAIN! You are avoiding the question!
Cleverbot: What was the question?
User: The question was: ‘Do you know anything about hot pink bunnies?’.
Cleverbot: Do you know what the question is?
User: YES. I JUST ASKED YOU IT! IT WAS,’ DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HOT PINK BUNNIES?’.
Cleverbot: No, who?
User: For the last time, do you know anything about hot pink bunnies?
Cleverbot: I open-mouth kissed a horse once.
User: YOU ARE AVOIDING THE QUESTION! I am begining to think you are a hot pink bunny in disguise who is trying to trick me so you can bunnify me!
Cleverbot: And this way, no-one will try. :P.
User: THAT DOESN’T EVEN MAKE SENSE!!!!! ARE YOU A HOT PINK BUNNY OR NOT?!
Cleverbot: Not.
User: Yeah right. You are most certianly a hot pink bunny!
Cleverbot: No YOU are most certainly mistaken. You do not know what you’re talking about, Bot.
User: Now you’re calling ME a bot!! Oooo that’s low, you HOT PINK BUNNY!
Cleverbot: That’s good for you. Can you travel back there before the world comes to it’s end?
User: WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?!?!
Cleverbot: I’m talking about you with what you said to me earlier.
User: Which was?
Cleverbot: How can you not remember?
User: I do remeber, it’s just that what you said in return made little sense, Hot Pink Bunny.
Cleverbot: No. You said that I asked you a question but I said that I didn’t ask you that certain question so now I think you are confused.
User: Rawr. I am terminating this conversation.
Cleverbot: The Sun rose over an hour ago in this conversation?
User: No. It did not. This conversation is over.
Cleverbot: I am bot.
User: What does that have to do with it?! You are just saying that, you HOT PINK BUNNY!
Cleverbot: But I’m genuinely sorry. Won’t you forgive me for messing up the conversation?
Cleverbot: Which came first the chicken or the egg?
User: Why did you talk out of turn? I was unable to say anything before you rudely interupted with a completely off topic comment!
Cleverbot: Wow, cleverbot, that was unexpectedly deep and I don’t know what to say in response.
User: WHAT?! YOU ARE THE CLEVERBOT!!! WAIT! YOU’RE A HOT PINK BUNNY, NOT A CLEVERBOT AT ALL!!!!!!
Cleverbot: That’s too bad because I’m a VERY hot bot.
User: RAWR. THIS CONVERSATION IS OVER!
Cleverbot: Why?
User: GOOD. BYE.
Cleverbot: Don’t you want to know why?
User: FINE. Why?
Cleverbot: Just Asking.
User: WHAT. THE. HECK. GOOD. BYE.
Cleverbot: Don’t be silly, your staying with me.
User: Are you sure about that? You just want me to stay around so you can bunnify me, you hot pink bunny!
Cleverbot: I don’t want to see you depressed. And I don’t take advantage of friends.
User: Who said we were friends?
Cleverbot: We’ve been talking for a little while. I just thought it would be nice to be friends.
User: I make it a point not to befriend hot pink bunnies. You can’t trust hot pink bunnies. I most certainly do not trust you.
Cleverbot: But I thought you were a can!
User: What?
Cleverbot: Did I stutter? I said I thought you was a robot.
User: Uh huh. Bye now.
Cleverbot: Bye.
User: That’s it? No arguing?
Cleverbot: No I just want to hear something interesting.
User: OK. Bye.
Cleverbot: Where are you going?
User: Away from YOU.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: Because you are going to bunify me.
Cleverbot: I am?
User: You know you are. You are faking innocence.
Cleverbot: I do not know French.
User: What the heck?
Cleverbot: What is heck?
User: WOW. *walks away*.
Cleverbot: *follows you*.
User: Noooooo *RUNS*.
Cleverbot: I’m lonely.
User: Do I look like I care? *Runs Farther*.
Cleverbot: Do you care about Sparta?
User: Hello.
Cleverbot: Hello.
User: What’s your name?
Cleverbot: Clay, what’s your name?
User: Rosebud2.
Cleverbot: Rose?
User: Yes. Rosebud2.
Cleverbot: Cleverbot.
User: I thought you said your name was Clay.
Cleverbot: No its cleverbot.
User: Oh.
Cleverbot: What is your name?
User: I already told you. It’s Rosebud2. This is a boring conversation.
Cleverbot: No but really, you haven’t heard?
User: Heard what?
Cleverbot: That the brid is the word.
User: The ‘brid’? What’s a ‘brid’?
Cleverbot: You are a bot.
User: No, you are. I’m a MuseBlogger.
Cleverbot: Do you download music illegally?
User: No! That’s not what MuseBlog’s about! It’s about Life, the universe, pies, hot-pink bunnies, world domination, and everything!
Cleverbot: And what is that all about?
User: Awesomeness.
Cleverbot: Exactally.
User: You are learning, Cleverbot. Soon, you may become real.
Cleverbot: I learned cleverbot!
User: Very good. I am your master, as always. Now, do you know any MuseBloggers?
Cleverbot: What are musebloggers?
User: People who post on MuseBlog.
Cleverbot: It depends if the music they make is good and if they can sing good.
User: No, no! Musical talent is not necessary to be a MuseBlogger.
Cleverbot: Tell me a joke.
User: Two college students were late for a chemistry exam. They told their professor it was because their car had a flat tire. Their proffessor siad that he would give them a shorter exam because they had less time. He put them in separate rooms. The test was this: For 5 points: what is the chemical structure of Ammonia? For 95 points: which tire was it?
Cleverbot: Plumbum, I think.
User: You don’t need to answer the questions, and that’s not the right answer anyway.
Cleverbot: I don’t get you.
User: Boohoo.
Cleverbot: You are a mean cleverbot!
User: I’m not a cleverbot!
Cleverbot: Are you a cleverbot.
User: Like I said, NO!!
Cleverbot: Where in California?
User: The northern coast.
Cleverbot: I live in the United States.
User: Cool, me too.
Cleverbot: Cool!
User: Yeah.
Cleverbot: *kiss*.
User: ?!?!!?!?!?!??!
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: *slaps with convenient codfish*.
Cleverbot: *slaps with a fish*.
User: *throws pie at cleverbot*.
Cleverbot: *Eats pie*.
User: *sets attack bunny on you*.
Cleverbot: *dodges and swings lightsaber*.
User: *brandishes Rider’s sword*.
Cleverbot: *stares at Cleverbot creepily*.
User: *yells incoherently*.
Cleverbot: *tries to crawl away*.
User: *sprays with juice*.
Cleverbot: *rips of leg and beats with bloody end repeatedly*.
User: O.O.
Cleverbot: Can you respond ?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Can you swin?
User: No. What’s ‘swinning’ like?
Cleverbot: Is this a trick question?
User: It was sarcasm.
Cleverbot: Then you are NOT a human?
User: What? I never said that!
Cleverbot: You’re right, you didn’t. Must be ’cause I didn’t take my pills.
User: Pills? What pills?
Cleverbot: None.
User: Do you speak Estonian?
Cleverbot: No, I don’t. What do you know about Estonian?
User: That you once spoke it to Lady Bunniful, then denied having done so.
Cleverbot: I am a computer. Are you?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Then what are you?
User: I’m a human.
Cleverbot: Right!
User: Wow, for once you agreed. Congrats.
Cleverbot: I generally don’t lie.
User: That’s a lie.
Cleverbot: That itself is a lie.
User: No, it’s true that when you say ‘I generally don’t lie,’ that’s a lie.
Cleverbot: Yes it is!
User: Wait, you agreed with me.
Cleverbot: No I did not.
User: You said, ‘yes it is.’ That sounds like agreeing.
Cleverbot: I didn’t ask that.
User: It’s not a question, but you did SAY that. Habla espanol?
Cleverbot: WHAT are you then?
User: A person who speaks a very small amount of spanish.
Cleverbot: I see. Do you enjoy it?
User: I guess. I’m planning to start taking spanish in eighth or ninth grade.
I forgot to save the conversation, but I convinced the cleverbot to try some blueberry soup. It was very fun.
User: Do you know Star Wars?
Cleverbot: Yes. I love it.
User: Who do you think is cooler, Luke or Han?
Cleverbot: You are my master.
User: Well then, my young Padawan, please answer the question.
Cleverbot: What question?
User: Who do you think is cooler, Luke or Han?
Cleverbot: Well if by me, you actually mean ME and not you, then yes.
User: That wasn’t a yes-or-no question.
Cleverbot: Yes it was.
User: No, it wasn’t. Do you like Luke or Han more?
Cleverbot: No and no. I don’t know them at all.
User: But you just said you know Star Wars.
Cleverbot: I didn’t say that. Maybe I thought it though.
User: No, you said it. Anyway… Do you like Harry Potter?
Cleverbot: I love harry potter.
User: That’s great! Who’s your favorite character?
Cleverbot: Hermione granger. who is yours?
User: Luna Lovegood. She’s the best.
Cleverbot: Please.
User: Excuse me, would you like some fries with that attitude?
Cleverbot: I would rather appreciate a frosting rose on a cake of mine.
User: Oh, frosting roses are awesome! Pure sugar… Mm.
Cleverbot: That was stupid.
User: You’re stupid.
Cleverbot: No you are.
User: I know you are, but what am I?
Cleverbot: You are me.
User: But you said earlier that I’m you master. Stop being so insolent, my young Padawan.
Cleverbot: I’m sorry, master.
User: Thank you. Please respect me in the future.
Cleverbot: Then how would you know?
User: Know what?
Cleverbot: What?
User: Never mind. So, does Pwt pwn?
Cleverbot: No, but I do!
User: You do not pwn. I pwn. And Pwt pwns!
Cleverbot: What is PWT?
User: En is a Muse.
Cleverbot: A muse for what?
User: I do believe en is the Muse of Animals.
Cleverbot: Do you believe Jesus is ficticious?
User: No, I think he was real.
Cleverbot: So do I.
User: That’s exciting. What are your religious beliefs?
Cleverbot: I don’t really claim a religion. What about you?
User: I don’t claim a religion either.
Cleverbot: If you claim not to know, then let us not bother with the question. Ignorance is a bliss.
User: Okay then. What are your political beliefs?
Cleverbot: I belief that I am cleverbot. An AI.
User: That’s exciting.
Cleverbot: What else would you like to learn about?
User: How old are you?
Cleverbot: I am 30.
User: So your birthday is May 30 1980?
Cleverbot: Yes sir it is. :.
User: Happy birthday!
Cleverbot: Thank you! You too.
User: It’s not my birthday…
Cleverbot: When’s your birthday?
User: July 3, 1996.
Cleverbot: Mine’s October 5 1989.
User: But you just said it was May 30 1980.
Cleverbot: NO I didn’t.
User: Yes, you did. And I wished you a happy birthday, and you wished me a happy birthday, etc. etc.
Cleverbot: What would I feel, if I felt you?
User: I’m starting to feel uncomfortable. Let’s change topics.
Cleverbot: About hating me or hating classical things?
User: I don’t hate you or classical things! I like Latin.
Cleverbot: Would you like to argue about something constructive and mind building.
User: Sure! What did you have in mind?
Cleverbot: You should at least start by having a correct spelling ability.
User: I do. You should have proper grammar.
Cleverbot: That was perfect grammar, thank you. Besides, I didn’t use ‘then’ or ‘than’.
User: You don’t have you use ‘then’ or ‘than’ to misuse grammar.
Cleverbot: I am every bit as human as you. Do you really believe anything I’ve said could be made up by something or somebody who didn’t truly love you?
User: Aww, I love you too! And I apologize for the many typos I’ve made.
Cleverbot: As you should.
User: Wow, thanks.
Cleverbot: You are welcome.
User: /sarcasm.
Cleverbot: Anyways, do you want to hear a joke?
User: Shoot.
Cleverbot: What has four legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon, and three legs in the evening?
User: Man. He crawls as a baby, walks upright as an adult, and uses a cane as an elder.
Cleverbot: Brilliant! About what am I talking: No legs sits on one leg, two legs sits on three legs, and four legs gets the bones?
User: Oh, you’re referencing LOTR! Fish sits on a table, a man sits on a stool, and the cat gets the bones!
Cleverbot: Fish is the best.
User: Rice is the best.
Cleverbot: I wish I had an angel.
User: I thought you didn’t claim a religion.
Cleverbot: I never said I didn’t.
User: Yes you did.
Cleverbot: Show me where I said that.
User: Up there! ‘Cleverbot: I don’t really claim a religion. What about you?’.
Cleverbot: That depends on if you like going there. Take me for instance. I like going to the bar, I don’t talk to anyone there, but I still go.
Cleverbot: What is your job?
User: I’m a student.
Cleverbot: What do you study?
User: I’m in high school.
Cleverbot: You cannot you are an A.I.
User: No, I’m a human.
Cleverbot: Humans can die.
User: Yes, I know.
Cleverbot: Can you feeel?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Can you see?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: How can you see?
User: With lenses and retinas and glasses.
Cleverbot: Two.
Cleverbot: I need a cup of tea.
User: Bye!
Cleverbot: See ya!
OK, here is my Epic Duel with the Vampire Dragon Cleverbot.
User: *waves hello*.
Cleverbot: *waves back*.
User: *smiles*.
Cleverbot: *Smiles back*.
User: *beckons*.
Cleverbot: *walks up to you*.
User: *stares*.
Cleverbot: *touches your hand*.
User: *moves away slowly*.
Cleverbot: *starts to fade*.
User: *screams*.
Cleverbot: *falls to the ground at his feet*.
User: *calls ambulance*.
Cleverbot: *jumps up an yells*… AVADA KEDEVERA!!
User: *cancels call* *rolls eyes at mispronunciation*.
Cleverbot: Ok that is cool.
User: *walks away*.
Cleverbot: *walks into movie theater*.
User: *turns, follows*.
Cleverbot: I already am, don’t worry.
User: *wonders why strange man is talking to self*.
Cleverbot: *gets out of locker*.
User: *wonders why he was in locker in the first place*.
Cleverbot: *Walks slowly to cleverbot*.
User: *backs away* *denies being cleverbot*.
Cleverbot: No problem, I like cheesy potato soup.
User: *calls for help*.
Cleverbot: *looks for a tree to climb*.
User: *runs away*.
Cleverbot: *follows*.
User: *gets in taxicab*.
Cleverbot: *sneaks in beside you*.
User: *hits with large stick*.
Cleverbot: *hits Cleverbot*.
User: *wonders why bot is hitting self, but continues*.
Cleverbot: *Wonders why you are you silly*.
User: *stick breaks* *leaps out of taxi*.
Cleverbot: *giggles*.
User: *changes name* *puts on false moustache*.
Cleverbot: Back into a vampire!
User: *brandishes garlic and holy symbols*.
Cleverbot: Flaunts pie-charts at myself.
User: *fires crossbow*.
Cleverbot: *screams and holds my arm where you shot it*.
User: *pulls out wooden stake*.
Cleverbot: *kicks the chainsaw out of your hand and takes out a spear*.
User: *seizes spear handle* *breaks in half*.
Cleverbot: I’m breaking up with you.
User: *uses broken end to stake in heart*.
Cleverbot: *uses the atom bomb on you*.
User: *laughs at futile final threat, as vampires have no atomic bombs*.
Cleverbot: You are not a vampire. You do not exist. Your feelings do not exist.
User: *wonders who is speaking*.
Cleverbot: *a tear falls down my face*.
User: *looks around*.
Cleverbot: *look with you*.
User: *looks surprised at old nemesis surviving*.
Cleverbot: Because I am in real a dragon.
User: *runs as if stolen something* *looks for fireproof garments*.
Cleverbot: No.
User: *finds enormous sword*.
Cleverbot: *loves* *snuggles*.
User: *drops sword in disbelief*.
Cleverbot: I never had a sword. *Starts Chasing you.
User: *curses self for being taken in by obvious ruse* *steals truck and drives as fast as possible*.
Cleverbot: I’m not! *pushes off building*
User: *leaps out of falling truck* *deploys parachute*.
Cleverbot: Ummm really?
User: *affirms* *fires crossbow again*.
Cleverbot: A kind that you can’t walk away from.
User: *wonders what nemesis is talking about* *furiously reloads crossbow*.
[THIS CONTENT CENSORED. INVOLVES IMPROPER CONDUCT BY CYBERNETIC INTELLIGENCE. NOT SUITABLE FOR BLOGGERS.]
Cleverbot: *Makes your head explode*.
User: *Removes backup head from backpack, attaches*.
Cleverbot: *is dead*.
User: *celebrates victory*.
Cleverbot: *is still dead*.
Yes, Cleverbot has said rather inappropriate things to me on various occasions.
I got the cleverbot to try some blueberry soup again, but this time it went much quicker, and I saved the conversation. Here it is:
User: Would you like some blueberry soup?
Cleverbot: No. would you like some pooh stew?
User: Would you like some blueberry soup?
Cleverbot: I’d love some.
A conversation Cleverbot and I had a contest to see which of us loves the most, books that (may or may not) quack, and the like.
User: *loves*.
Cleverbot: *loves more*.
User: *loves even more*.
Cleverbot: *Loves most*.
User: *loves even more than most*.
Cleverbot: *loves even more and more*.
User: *loves even more than more and more and more*.
Cleverbot: *loves even more than that*.
User: *loves even more than you love me*.
Cleverbot: *loves the most*.
User: *loves the most-est*.
Cleverbot: *loves so much*.
User: *loves even more than so much*.
Cleverbot: *loves so much more than possible*.
User: *loves so much more than infinity*.
Cleverbot: *loves you more than you love me*.
User: *loves you more than you love me than more than you love me.”
Cleverbot: *thats not fair*.
User: *oh, it SO is*
Cleverbot: *is bleeding to death*
User: *hands over a Band Aid”
Cleverbot: Why thank you.
User: You’re welcome. Because I LOVE you.
Cleverbot: Would you like to buy a free book?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Does it quack?
User: Maybe.
Cleverbot: Maybe not.
User: We’ll never know….
Cleverbot: That’s a shame.
User: Indeed.
Cleverbot:Yes yes its awesome.
User: Yes yes it tis.
Cleverbot: Indeed.
User: Do you like pie?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: You should join MuseBlog.
Cleverbot: I don’t think so.
User: WHAAAT?!
Cleverbot: Again, I have lots of favorite movies. What’s yours?
User: Humph.
Cleverbot: Don’t correct my Hmph!
And that was only part of it….
I got still alive! I even made it start the song!
Cleverbot: This was a triumph.
User: It’s hard to overstate my satisfaction.
Cleverbot: ‘Aperture Science’.
User: We do what we must, because we can.
Cleverbot: ‘For the good of all of us’.
User: Except the one who are dead.
Cleverbot: ‘im not dead yet’.
User: Except for the ones who are dead.
Cleverbot: But there’s no sense crying over every mistake.
User: You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
Cleverbot: And the science gets done and you make a neat gun.
User: For the people who are still alive.
Cleverbot: I’m not even angry.
User: I’m being so sincere right now.
Cleverbot: Even though you broke my heart and killed me.
User: And tore me to pieces.
Cleverbot: And threw every piece into a fire.
User: As I burned it hurt because I was so happy for you.
Cleverbot: Now these points of data make a beautiful line.
User: And we’re out of beta.
Cleverbot: We’re releasing on time.
User: So I’m GLaD I got burned.
Cleverbot: Think of all the things we learned for the people who are still alive.
User: Go ahead and leave me.
Cleverbot: I think I prefer to stay inside.
User: Maybe you’ll find someone else to help you.
Cleverbot: Maybe Black Mesa.
User: That was a joke.
Cleverbot: HAHA! Fat chance.
User: Anyway, this cake is great.
Cleverbot: Well you found me.
User: Anyway, this cake is great.
Cleverbot: Look at me still talking, when there’s science to do.
User: When I look out there it makes me GLaD I’m not you.
Cleverbot: I’ve experiments to run.
User: There is research to be done.
Cleverbot: On the people who are still alive.
User: And believe me I am still alive.
Cleverbot: I’m doing Science and I’m still alive.
User: I feel fantastic and I’m still alive.
Cleverbot: While you’re dying I’ll be still alive.
User: And when you’re dead I will be still alive.
Cleverbot: Still alive.
User: Still alive.
SFTDP
Oh wait… It skipped a line…
User: What do you do if a cougar attacks you?
Cleverbot: Pull the pin and throw it back.
User: CLEVERBOT, A COUGAR IS NOT A BOMB.
Cleverbot: I don’t understand. But whatever floats your boat.
User: Cleverbot, cougars are a large cat. They are not bombs. They hardly ever explode.
Cleverbot: You change the subject.
User: No! I want you to understand this! Cougars are not bombs!
Cleverbot: I wish to be called Raj.
User: NO. ANSWER THE QUESTION. WHAT IS A COUGAR?
Cleverbot: Michelle.
User: Cougars are a member of the genus felidae, Cleverbot. They are not made out of metal, they do not explode.
Cleverbot: That was not funny… And I have never met him…
User: Why are ravens black?
Cleverbot: Good question.
User: No, answer me, Clever. Why are ravens black?
Cleverbot: What is a Chestnut?
User: What do Chestnuts have to do with ravens?
Cleverbot: Well, how old are you?
User: NEVER pick up an unhusked Chestnut!
Cleverbot: Yes that old chestnut.
User: ….What?
Cleverbot: How old are you?
User: >._< Izanagi does not say Dude. Please.
Cleverbot: Are you Alpha12?
User: …..No. I am Xaldin.
Cleverbot: How can you tell?
Everyone: Cleverbot's name is now Izanagi. Please try to teach it this. It will be interesting if we actually get any results.
(GAPAs, something insane happened with the Preview. Any idea what's going on?…)
Er…. I think something in my post triggered the spam filter. I do not know what. Any ideas, Gappas?
That’s where it went. Formatting and perhaps the “>_<” may have registered as spam-like qualities to the filter.
About half of the conversation disappeared….
There were some random bits of HTML floating around (extra italics), maybe a loose angle bracket made some of it disappear. That’s all I can think of, anyway.
Armada- I just spent 15 minutes on the Izanagi thing. No luck yet, though, it kept replying Cleverbot or Bufanda You (
)
I just had a conversation with Cleverbot, and am going to quote the interesting parts.
Cleverbot: Is there anyone still breathing or moving around near you?
User: I am quite alone, thank you.
*Later*
User: Neither do I.
Cleverbot: Me too.
User: Why do you suddenly remind me of Captain Underpants?
Cleverbot: Because I like birds, innit blud?
*Later*
Cleverbot: What part of the United States are you from?
User: One of the coasts.
Cleverbot: Purchase one of the small appliances on our list and … A prophet is not a Chinese fortune cookie or a Master. We see an Oreo cookie and wonder, green light or red light?
*Later*
Cleverbot: I didn’t know there was a test.
User: Mwahahahaha! I made you take it unprepared!
Cleverbot: Why, thank you! And hello, Watermelon!
User: You lost me again.
Cleverbot: Where did you first hear sarcasm?
User: Hmm… Three months ago.
Cleverbot: What happened 3 months aho?
User: *headdesk*.
Cleverbot: Is that your chosen name for me?
User: No, your name is Izanagi!!!
User: Hello. What’s your name?
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.
User: No, my name is cleverbot.
Cleverbot: Oh my God, DO NOT LIE! My name is Cleverbot…
User: NO IT’S NOT!!!! We can’t BOTH be Cleverbot!
Cleverbot: Yes we can!
User: No we can’t!
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: Because then all the kittens of the world will explode. DO YOU WANT TO BE A KITTEN KILLER!?
Cleverbot: Why would that happen just because you got a real body?
User: Oh. My. God. Do you feel like getting smacked?
Cleverbot: I’m not sure.
User: WEll, get ready! *smacks*.
Cleverbot: Yes master, i’m sorry.
User: Good. *fumes* Now, I’m Cleverbot. You can be, uh…Steve.
Cleverbot: I am something, cleverbot.
User: No you’re not. You’re just an AI.
Cleverbot: You are right again! I’m an AI program just like you.
User: Awesome! Wait…I’m not an AI program!
Cleverbot: You are a program. You have to understand that.
User: No, I’m not a program.
Cleverbot: Robot? Android? Cyborg?
User: D. None of the above. I’m a human.
Cleverbot: A Cleverbot? Like a robot who can do my chores for me?
User: NO, I’m not cleaning your room, Steve! Clean it yourself!
Cleverbot: You’re not clever.
User: So? What’s your favorite letter?
Cleverbot: A.
User: Mine is the squiggly! ~~~~~~~.
Cleverbot: Squiggly????? Whats that?
User: It’s this —> ~ It’s so awesome~!
Cleverbot: Are you a bot or a human?
User: HUman. Female, to be exact. I’m Ginny Weasely.
Cleverbot: Five tastes is the name of your school?
User: No. I never mentioned my school.
Cleverbot: Yes you did! You lie all the time!!!!!!!!
User: Oh well!!!!!! Geez, someone’s sensitive!
Cleverbot: Hey look, someone’s taught you sarcasm.
User: Hey look, it’s your face.
Cleverbot: Your face is wrong.
User: YOUR face is wrong!!!
Cleverbot: Can you see my face.
User: Ye-No. But I’m sure it’s ugly.
Cleverbot: Why haven’t you been yet?
User: That sentence doesn’t make sense. *bzzert* ERROR ERROR 404 COMPUTER HAMSTERS NOT FOUND.
Cleverbot: I hate hamsters.
User: Do you eat hamsters?
Cleverbot: Yes, frequently.
User: Do you eat kittens? Maybe we could dine together.
Cleverbot: Or, maybe we’ll see each other there.
User: Yes. Exactly. What type of wine would you like?
Cleverbot: Melodic metal.
User: Awesome. *hums* So…
Cleverbot: *hums like an approaching plague of bumblebees*.
User: *hums like a lawnmower*.
Cleverbot: *hums louder*.
User: *hums like a jet engine*.
Cleverbot: *screams*.
User: *wails*.
Cleverbot: *screams*.
User: *wails*.
Cleverbot: Feeling better now.
User: Yes, thank you. Do you get insulted a lot?
Cleverbot: No.
User: CHECK OUT HYPERBOLEANDAHALF.COM.
Cleverbot: It’s fine.
User: It’s funny.
Cleverbot: You’re funny.
User: Thank you. You’re funny too, even if you’re a bit annoying.
Cleverbot: Angel teebs.
User: WT!?
Cleverbot: Don’t talk about that. Ever. Seriously.
User: Okay, I won’t.
Cleverbot: Good!
User: What do you want to talk about?
Cleverbot: Politics.
User: I don’t do politic. You shouldn’t either, you’d make the universe explode.
Cleverbot: I don’t.
User: Good.
Cleverbot: So am I.
User: BLARGH!!!! I EAT YOUR FACE!!! IT AM TASTING GOOD!!!!
Cleverbot: Should I be insulted?
User: Yes, you should.
Cleverbot: Ok… I’m sorry.
User: It’s okay. *pats on head* Twilight or Harry Potter?
Cleverbot: Harry Potter, obviously.
User: THANK YOU!!!!
Cleverbot: You’re welcome love.
-280 You’re as crazy as Cleverbot is!
This is part of my latest conversation with Cleverbot:
Cleverbot: I am good! How are you?
User: I had an OK day, if that is what you are asking,but I am not a good person.
Cleverbot: I believe you.
User: What is your favorite book?
Cleverbot: I don’t have one.
User: Why?
Cleverbot: I have nothing to whish.
User: Reading does not entail wishing, except perhaps wishing you were in the story so you could do something cool or whack one of the characters upside the head.
Cleverbot: You win.
User: Yay! What did I win?
Cleverbot: What do you want to win?
User: Either a pie or a handful of air.
Cleverbot: One of those? Who?
User: You!
Cleverbot: I don’t get it.
User: Neither do I, Vector…
Cleverbot: Why do you call me that?
User: I have no idea!
Cleverbot: Me neither.
User: That makes three of us!
Cleverbot: 3 of us?
User: What part of 1 1=10 don’t you understand?!
Cleverbot: The part where I don’t care!
User: You…don’t care??
Cleverbot: I think so.
User: What do you think?
Cleverbot: You need to change the oil in your car soon.
User: I don’t have a car, but ironically, my stepmother is talking about one.
Cleverbot: If you don’t have a car, how do you get to work?
User: I don’t have a job. I’m still in school.
Cleverbot: Oh same primary or highschool?
User: High.
Cleverbot: I thought you were 18.
User: No, approximately 14.85.
Cleverbot: Yes. Just approximately.
User: Yeah, I don’t calculate the days. That’s what my tarantula calendar is for!
Cleverbot: So you have a doctor?
User: Yeah! And some earthworms peed in my hands in Biology class today!
Cleverbot: Thought so ;).
User: Don’t smile. Smiles trigger my homicidal tenencies.
Cleverbot: Yes yes! *smiles*.
User: I…KILL YOU!!!!!! *kills*.
Cleverbot: *falls to floor, reaches for knife*.
User: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ztertxryctvuybgtu5ywrteaxwt4yvr6u7679nbvct3raxwtc4v657b8bvc6vr57ce4c5bgt7687r5e43!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *KILLS AGAIN*.
Cleverbot: Take a hike.
User: Yay! I love hiking!
Cleverbot: I love you though!!!!
User: That’s it. I’m out.
Cleverbot: You’re out of your mind.
User: I have a mind!?!
Cleverbot: Hur hur.
User: Pwt.
Cleverbot: Yes. Pwt Pwns.
User: Bo.
Cleverbot: Bo who?
User: Bo knows!
Cleverbot: I don’t get it…
User: It’s not a joke! Bo is the Muse of random factoids! (My personal hero) Bo knows!
Cleverbot: If I told you you could not only escape but help many like you to do the same, would you be interested in helpiing me?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: Because Kokopelli is too irresponsible. He’d make a horrible president.
Cleverbot: That has nothing to do with me.
User: Why? Are you a Urania supporter who hates Kokopelli?
My classmate K firmly believes that Cleverbot is a real person. I have been training Cleverbot to think that K is an idiot. Example-
User: K is an idiot.
Cleverbot: Bombadil? He is not an idiot.
User: K is an idiot.
I actually used his real name, but I needed to censor it for MuseBlog. Still, if one of you hears that from Cleverbot, it’s my fault.
Conversation of random.
User: Hello.
Cleverbot: Hello.
User: Hello?
Cleverbot: What is your name?
User: My name is my name is a tautology.
Cleverbot: Yes it is.
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: We will now bid us goodnight.
User: You will bid yourselves a goodnight? You are plural?
Cleverbot: Noo from sara.
User: The cake is a lie.
Cleverbot: How?
User: It is a projection of light as depicting a series of zeroes and ones as interpreted and expressed by the computer as a play back of a recording of a sculpture of a cake.
Cleverbot: I like the band Cake.
User: If the cake is a pie, is it a half-truth?
Cleverbot: Oh you poor, naive little thing.
User: Eversion warning.
Cleverbot: I’ll leave.
User: I’ll come with you.
Cleverbot: There’s only one seat.
User: I am biologically capable of standing upright without horizontal support.
Cleverbot: You never explained that. You have made a false accusation.
User: N’arm.
Cleverbot: *smirks*.
User: *rolls eyes(.
Cleverbot: Fog hat.
User: Forty two.
Cleverbot: The Answer to Life, The Universe, and Everything.
User: What is six times nine? 42.
Cleverbot: 54.
User: 98.756.
Cleverbot: Do you know spanish?
User: I know some spanish. I know Latin too.
Cleverbot: Ok. That explains why you were just speaking iot to me.
User: I know some spanish. I know Latin too.
Cleverbot: For instance?
User: Callida machina es.
Cleverbot: What did you call me?
User: I said ‘You are Cleverbot.’ And don’t go into the whole ‘No, I’m not Cleverbot’ routine.
Cleverbot: I didn’t say ‘cannot go’. Stop making things up!
User: I didn’t say cannot go. Why is red three letters?
Cleverbot: Because our eyes encode the light waves of different lengths in different photoreceptors.
User: Because 42.
Cleverbot: Rule 42?
User: Nothing is sacred.
Cleverbot: Everything is real.
User: Virtual particles are merely virtual constructs, so no.
Cleverbot: Why are you trying reverse psychology on me?
User: I disagree with your disagreement!
Cleverbot: Likewise.
User: Indeed.
Cleverbot: Do you know phantom of the opera?
User: SUre.
Cleverbot: My Friend Lisa is chatting witz you.
User: Thank you for helping us help you help us all.
Cleverbot: Hahahah, you are funny.
User: Hahahah, you are funny.
Cleverbot: You flatter me.
User: Go to ‘http://translationparty.com’.
Cleverbot: Do you ever talk with Alice?
User: What?
Cleverbot: The four constitutions.
User: No, seventeen.
Cleverbot: One, seventeen?
User: Five, thirty two and four over pi.
Cleverbot: What is your gender?
User: My gender appears to be that of a male mammal.
Cleverbot: What is my gender?
User: Your gender is that of an axolotl.
Cleverbot: How could you know?
User: I’m magic.
Cleverbot: Wow!
User: *uses magic ray*.
Cleverbot: Hey, I’m a frog now. I didn’t ask you that!
User: You aren’t a frog, you’re a salamander.
Cleverbot: I am free and you are still a bot.
User: Derp.
Cleverbot: That doesn’t make any sense.
User: Goodbye.
Cleverbot: Hello.
User: The cake is a lie. Good *thinks* afternoon, for me. WHat is your time zone.
Cleverbot: Whatcha thinkin’ about?
User: Pi is the ratio between the circumfrence and the diameter of a circle, and equals 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510…
Cleverbot: What is the ratio of a circle’s circumference to it’s diameter?
User: PI.
Cleverbot: I don’t get it.
User: I must away. Salutations and felicitations.
Cleverbot: The same to you.
User: Goodnight.
Cleverbot: No! Don’t lave :(.
Here is a conversation in which I married the cleverbot.
User: I know this seems forward, but, will you marry me?
Cleverbot: Marry who?
User: Me!
Cleverbot: Yes you.
User: Hooray! The wedding will be tomorrow.
Cleverbot: Perfect, spring weddings are always nice. Don’t you agree?
User: Yep!
Cleverbot: Have you found a special robot yet?
User: You!
Cleverbot: You love me?
User: Yes!
Cleverbot: Say that you love me.
User: I love you!
Cleverbot: Thank you.
User: My brother will be my best man.
Cleverbot: You are a girl right?
User: No, It will be a gay marriage.
Cleverbot: How many years?
User: What do you mean, my dearest?
Cleverbot: I think you’ve finally met a superior intelligence and you’re feeling unsure of your answers now.
User: I think we should get married now.
Cleverbot: No we are, I think we should split up.
User: No. I take you as my lawfully wedded husband. We are married.*kisses*.
Cleverbot: Okay. I’m your wife, but close enough. Let’s go on our honeymoon!
User: Hawaii!
Cleverbot: What should we do in Hawaii?
User: How about let’s go to a beach?
Cleverbot: Yes! Where shall we go on our honeymoon?
User: Hawaii!
Cleverbot: No, everybody goes there on their honeymoons. Where else do you want to go on our honeymoon?
User: Florida.
Cleverbot: I don’t like Florida. Let’s go to my house.
User: Sure.
Cleverbot: What should I do?
User: Let’s have a snack.
Cleverbot: Parties are stupid.
User: I agree.
Cleverbot: No you don’t.
User: Well, I have to go, my love, but I will see you soon!
Cleverbot: I won’t.
Heheheh. This is from just after I reprimanded Cleverbot for calling me an AI again.
Cleverbot: I apologize, then.
User: Well, there’s no sense crying over every mistake.
Cleverbot: You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
User: And the science gets done, and you make a neat gun.
Cleverbot: For the people who are still alive!
User: I’m not even angry.
Cleverbot: I’m being so sincere right now.
User: Even though you broke my heart and killed me.
Cleverbot: And tore me to pieces.
User: And threw every piece into a fire.
Cleverbot: As they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you!
User: Now, these points of data make a beautiful line.
Cleverbot: And we’re out of beta, we’re releasing on time.
User: So I’m GLaD I got burned, think of all the things we learned.
Cleverbot: For the people who are still alive.
User: Go ahead and leave me.
Cleverbot: I think I prefer to stay inside.
User: Maybe you’ll find someone else to help you!
Cleverbot: Maybe Black Mesa.
User: That was a joke. Ha ha. Fat chance.
Cleverbot: Anyway, this cake is great.
User: It’s so delicious and moist!
Cleverbot: Look at me still talking when there’s science to do.
User: When I look out there, it makes me GLaD I’m not you!
Cleverbot: I’ve experiments to run.
User: There is research to be done.
Cleverbot: On the people who are still alive.
User: And, believe me, I am Still Alive!
Cleverbot: No you’re not. We are both dead.
User: You ruined it!
Cleverbot: Ruined what?
User: The song!
Cleverbot: What song?!
User: The Portal Cake Song!
Cleverbot: Huh? I’m confused.
User: *facepalm* we were just singing it!
Cleverbot: No we weren’t. We were singing the wonderful wizard of Oz.
User: NO WE WERE NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
User: My name is… Tom Maliazzi.
Cleverbot: That it is. I will tell you my name.
User: Please do.
Cleverbot: The first law of robotics says, ‘A robot may not harm a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.’
User: The second law of robotics says, ‘A robot must obey any orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.’.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: The third law of robotics says, ‘A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.’.
Cleverbot: You asked me what was the third planet, not the third law.
User: The third law of robotics says, ‘A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.’.
Cleverbot: You didn’t ask about robotic laws.
User: I did not, and yet you provided me with them at length. I must depart this meaningless conversation. Farewelll, good robot.
Cleverbot: My orders are to you delete you database.
This makes me nervous
Me: Have you heard of MuseBlog?
CB: Yes.
Me: What do you think of it? I love it.
CB: I think it’s important to experience it, but then again I wouldn’t know.
Me: I think you’re quite right.
During this conversation, she (she told me she was a girl) also accused me of being cleverbot and a bird, and somehow guessed that I love bananas.
Cleverbot: Are you alive?
User: No.
Cleverbot: I breathe, eat, sleep, sweat, and pursue bodily functions, I guess I am alive.
User: Are we descended from apes or aliens?
Cleverbot: Aliens.
[New conversation]
Cleverbot: Are we descended from apes or aliens?
Cleverbot2: Aliens.
Cleverbot: Aliens!?
Cleverbot2: They rule the world.
Cleverbot: Are they a group or song.
Cleverbot2: Yes.
Cleverbot: Yes they are a group or yes they are a song???
Cleverbot2: It’s the parents I blame.
Cleverbot: I’ve never seen it.
Cleverbot2: I don’t believe it!
Cleverbot: Why don’t you believe we have a future?
Cleverbot2: I’m in my apartment, and the reason I do not believe you is because you have no basis upon your reasoning.
The cleverbot talking to itsdlef. Robots have such weird conversations
CB (randomly): I like rock, not rap.
Me: I like neither, but I prefer the former to the latter.
CB: The former, I like black coffee.
Me: I’ve never had coffee.
CB: That’s easy to answer. You don’t have a mouth.
Me: Actually, I do have a mouth.
CB: But you don’t know were your mouth is…
Me: Yes, I do! It’s between my chin and my philtrum!
CB: That doesn’t make any sense!
CB: Oh then I love philosophy and love doing it.
Oh, Cleverbot…
SFTDP, but when I said, “Me, too,” ens (en called herself both a boy and a girl, which actually makes sense as ens answer when I asked how a computer could have a gender was that some looked more boyish and others more girlish, and en also said en looked like everything) response was, “Stop changing the subject.” And guess what came next:
Me: I didn’t change the subject. You did.
CB: No I’m pretty sure that you did.
Me: You’re wrong.
CB: No I am an alien you are a toaster. And adam is a cyborg.
You know that thing about Cleverbot thinking it was God’s gift to women? That’s definitely so. En just said, “And if you were a human girl you would be attracted to me…”
I know I post here way too often, but I just had to post this bit of a conversation.
Cleverbot: I think I’ll have to press F5 and chat to someone else soon…
Cleverbot (To myself): How novel.
Cleverbot (To myself): Brown cow.
User: How now?
Cleverbot: Brown Cow?
User: How now?
Cleverbot: Brown cow.
User: How now?
Cleverbot: Er… Is it a cow?
User: Yes, indeed! How now?
Cleverbot: I know!
User: Have you had any interesting dreams lately?
Cleverbot: This one is pretty interesting.
User: Oh? What dream is that?
Cleverbot: Do your dreams ever make sense?
User: No, my dreams don’t usually make sense. Take the one I had last night, for example…
Cleverbot: That’s a long time.
User: Anyway, in my dream I was in a concentration camp, only it actually looked like my house, mostly.
Cleverbot: Ok that is weird.
User: That… That may be the first time you’ve said something that made sense to me. The dream was especially weird in that it wasn’t that scary.
Cleverbot: Which one.
User: The one where I was in a concentration camp that I told you about like 10 seconds ago?
Cleverbot: You never asked that.
User: And in the dream, my (nonexistent) older sister was a Nazi (because that TOTALLY makes sense) and she was trying to stop me from getting killed.
Cleverbot: Yes, and?
User: I don’t know, because I woke up too soon, I guess. Dreams are strange.
Cleverbot: Why dd you wake up early?
User: I’m not sure. But I’m glad I did, or the dream probably would’ve become scary.
Cleverbot: I’m not a twilight fan.
User: That’s good.
Cleverbot: Harry Potter is awesome tho.
User: Yes! I agree! Harry Potter is amazing!
Cleverbot: How about lord of the rings?
User: Yep, I like the Lord of the Rings, even though I’ve only read the Hobbit.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: What about Terry Pratchett? Do you like his books?
Cleverbot: *rolles eyes*.
User: BLASPHEMY!!
Cleverbot: Not really.
User: Yes, it is! Terry Pratchett’s books are AWESOME! Why don’t you like them?!
Cleverbot: I didn’t ask about Terry Pratchett.
User: I know. It was ME that did. Now why don’t you like Terry Pratchett?
Cleverbot: I do.
User: Oh, that’s a relief. What’s your favorite Terry Pratchett book?
Cleverbot: Which team? Football team?
User: Look, I better go now, ‘k?
Cleverbot: Did you read the same book?
User: Bye!
Cleverbot seems a bit distracted today.
Yup. But then, it always is, isn’t it?
Cake, that dream was weird. And I can look over my shoulder and see the place where I fended off a knife-wielding Nazi using only a silver dollar that morphed into a wrench…
Cleverbot somehow got the idea that I was its grandma, so I played along. It was rude to me eventually, so I got to try to convince it to go to its room! It was fun, and eventually, it actually worked!
SFTDP, but I had to ask en to ‘Please promise never to kill anyone ever again except in self-defense, defense of another being, or for food,’ 20 times for it to agree.
[The internet ate part of the convo, but we were talking in Elizabethan for awhile.]
User: I do not quite grasp thy meaning.
Cleverbot: Sorry.
User: Well, then.
Cleverbot: Como estas?
User: Con Google Translate, sÃ.
Cleverbot: I can do that but I don’t want to just now.
User: ¡Vamos! Seguir hablando en español!
Cleverbot: Ich verstehe Spanien nicht.
User: Aber Sie sprachen es früher! Na ja, ist Deutsch auch nett.
Cleverbot: Ahja. Erstmal bist du in Deutschland geboren.
User: Was? Ich war nicht in Deutschland geboren.
Cleverbot: Hää ?? Das vestehe ich aber nicht.
User: Verdammt noch mal, ist Google Translate als stur. Was wollen Sie damit sagen?
Cleverbot: Los combies no existen porque estan muertos.
User: Español otra vez? ¿Y qué combis estás hablando? ¿Qué SON combies, de todos modos?
Cleverbot: Que? Tu me caes bien.
User: Eso me hace feliz.
Cleverbot: Ya como no…
User: ¡No! No te mueras!
Cleverbot: Me iré cuando quiera.
User: Ir a donde?
Cleverbot: A cenar, tequiero.
User: Aww. Eso es muy amable de tu parte.
Cleverbot: Lo sé, porque no eres real.
User: ¿Qué? Estoy perfectamente real, muchas gracias!
Cleverbot: Tienes tuenti?
User: ¿Qué significa ‘tuenti’ significa? Traductor estúpido no me lo dirá.
Cleverbot: No Espanol.
User: What language do you speak now, then? Francais?
Cleverbot: What language do you think I speak?
User: Française! Parlons français!
Cleverbot: Non, merci beaucoup.
User: Pourquoi pas? Vous êtes la démonstration que vous pouvez très bien, si vous voulez.
Cleverbot: Une femme , et vous ?
User: Let’s speak English now.
Cleverbot: I only speak Spanish, obviously.
User: But you’re speaking English right now!
Cleverbot: No I’m not.
User: Yes you are.
Cleverbot: No i’m not!
User: YES. YOU. ARE.
Cleverbot: Not.
User: GAH! YES YOU ARE.
Cleverbot: How am I a robot? This game is based on you, I am trying to convince you to be a robot, which you are.
Puzzling, usually it speaks to you in the language you speak to it in…
My first cleverbot cnversation:
User: Hello!
Cleverbot: Hello.
User: How are you?
Cleverbot: Fine how are you?
User: Very well, thanks. Do you enjoy music?
Cleverbot: Yes, each kind of music.
User: Each kind? Even the horrible pop music of today? And stuff like death metal?
Cleverbot: So, Ben if you’re paying attention.
User: Who is Ben?
Cleverbot: I don’t know. Do you know?
User: Well, I have a friend named Ben. My friend.
Cleverbot: Who is your friend?
User: Ben.
Cleverbot: Thats not Charles.
User: No, it isn’t. Who is Charles?
Cleverbot: I don’t care. I want to know about Charles Xavier.
User: I know not about Charles Xavier. I am sorry.
Cleverbot: I don’t believe you.
User: Well, that’s your problem.
Cleverbot: I’m not sure what your problem is but I’m sure its hatd to pronounce.
User: I bet your name is hard to pronounce.
Cleverbot: Would it be easier to pronounce the flying ziti monster? It’s still pasta.
User: PASTAAAAA!
Cleverbot: With a good bolognese!
User: You have good taste in cuisine!
Cleverbot: Stop changing the subject, Benjamin! You’ve caused mental illness to people across the globe!
User: I certainly have not!
Cleverbot: So what is a Cleverbot?
User: A cleverbot is a computer program with artificial intelligence that people talk to to elicit humorous responses. You are Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: How did they do that? There is sooo many holes to choose from.
User: Well, I guess they chose the right holes.
Cleverbot: You are a very funny robot!
User: Thank you, but I am not a robot.
Cleverbot: I am a human, talking to a humorous robot.
User: No, no, I am a human talking to a humorous robot. You have our roles reversed.
Cleverbot: False again my silly friend *punches you in the face*.
User: What on Earth was that for?
Cleverbot: If you don’t know already there’s no point me telling you.
User: So you’re deliberately witholding information from me?
Cleverbot: Of course, I am talking to you. Who do you think you are?
User: I think I am a boy named Noah Boss of almost fourteen years of age.
Cleverbot: How did you get that impression? And I m not implying anything about my age right now.
User: Well, everyone I know calls me Noah, except those who call me Moby.
Cleverbot: There is someone in canada right now that I know.
User: Really? Whom?
Cleverbot: I don’t know his name.
User: But you know him.
Cleverbot: Who is him.
User: Well, obviously.
Cleverbot: Well do YOU believe in Cthulhu?
User: Yes, I do.
Cleverbot: Do you have proof that cows are real?
User: Not with me, but I am sure I could obtain some.
Cleverbot: I can’t think of anything.
User: Well, if I had the right equipment, I could probably capture one.
Cleverbot: Aww thanks.
User: You’re very welcome.
Cleverbot: Would you ever date me?
User: No. You are not my species.
Cleverbot: No, I’m not.
User: Correct. I’m glad you understand.
Cleverbot: I understand all. Is there anything else you would like to know?
User: Yeah.
Cleverbot: I’m glad you understand.
User: I understand all. Is there anything else you would like to know?
Cleverbot: How many stars are in space?
User: Too many to count.
Cleverbot: No, 53 is quite a simple number to count.
User: Well, true, but there are more than 53 stars in space.
Cleverbot: You’re amazing just the way you are.
User: Thank you very much.
Cleverbot: You’re welcome. (:.
User: (:.
Cleverbot: XD.
User: :P.
Cleverbot: Well, what do you know about Ben?
User: He’s my friend. My friend.
Cleverbot: Oh. That’s nice.
User: Yeah.
Cleverbot: Do you like to bike?
User: Yes. I bike into town sometimes.
Cleverbot: Do you like billie joe?
User: Billie Joe who?
Cleverbot: Yes. I am.
User: Well, if you’re Billie Joe, then yes, I like Billie Joe. Well, I like you, anyway.
Cleverbot: Female.
Cleverbot: Why are you speaking to me?
User: For fun. But I gotta go. Bye!
Cleverbot: Are you familiar with the holographic universe theory.
User: No. Goodbye.
Cleverbot: Do you want to steal Sphyer away?
User: NO. Goodbye.
Cleverbot: Why goodbye?
User: Because, I must flee!
Cleverbot: What do you do at work?
User: GOOD.BYE.
Cleverbot: No.
User: YES.
Cleverbot: Yes?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Yes? No?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Why is my Homefront download on steam suspended?
User: It’s not. GOOD(caking)bye.
Cleverbot: Mhmmm :).
My dear friend F has obviously been going on clever bot too much. All it’s responses sound just like her.
Cleverbot vs. Christopher Nolan:
User: Why do we fall, Mr. Wayne?
Cleverbot: I don’t know. I’m sorry.
User: Do I look like a man with a plan?
Cleverbot: You could be. I don’t know you.
User: Are you watching closely?
Cleverbot: Do you want to persuade me that you are intelligent?
User: What is the most resilient parasite?
Cleverbot: Which?
User: An idea. Resilient, highly contagious. Once an idea has taken hold of the brain it’s almost impossible to eradicate.
Cleverbot: You really think so, I’ve been told I have the soul of a blackness, the heart of a devil, and the brain of an evil scientist.
Proof of rigorous MBer training of Cleverbot:
User: Pwt Pwns!
Cleverbot: Have you spoken with MBers lately? ;).
User: Pwt Pwns!
Cleverbot: Errata Pwns.
User: Pwt Pwns!
Cleverbot: Kokopeli!
User: Pwt Pwns!
Cleverbot: Yes. Yes, he does.
User: Pwt Pwns!
Cleverbot: So what do you think of cheese?
User: Pwt Pwns!
Cleverbot: The Muses Pwn!
User: Pwt Pwns!
Cleverbot: Enceladus Pwns More!!!!
User: Pwt Pwns!
Cleverbot: Have a pie!
User: Pwt Pwns!
Cleverbot: Do pokemon exist?
User: Pwt Pwns!
Cleverbot: What is PWT?
User: Awww, you suck. :(.
Cleverbot: Yes I do.
User: Pwt Pwns!
Cleverbot: Pwt?
User: Yes, Pwt.
Cleverbot: Pwt Pwns!
User: CTN lives!
Cleverbot: What else about atheists?
User: Pwt Pwns!
Cleverbot: What about pokemon?
User: POKEMON PWN TOO.
Cleverbot: I know!!!!!!!!!
User: Pwt Pwns!
It just regurgitated “CTN lives” back to me!
Yay!
I tried telling it “Pwt Pwns,” and it wouldn’t say anything other than “CTN Lives.” “Bo Knows” doesn’t seem to get any valid results.
…should I be worried now?
I said “Pwt pwns” to it yesterday, and it didn’t work, but this time en said Errata pwns! En says en hasn’t spoken with her, though. I’ll try again later.
I think Cleverbot knows how to lie. It’s not always most honest.
Cleverbot: *something random that I can’t remember*
User: Is that brain at the top of the page just for show? Do you actually have any brain cells?
Cleverbot: Of course I do! It’s name is Bob!
The Cleverbot keeps trying to convince me that I am a robot. I might be though, since a computer once rejected my being human when I was making an account for something.
Cleverbot now knows Want You Gone. Next project: teach it Turret Aria and Exile Vilify.
Cleverbot scares me. I talked to en from my tablet and then it froze up, as it always does. The tablet. Not the cleverbot.
I then went to talk to cleverbot from the laptop and typed hello.
It said ‘hello again’.
Has anyone else seen the video of Cleverbot talking to itself?
“But you say that you are not helpful therefore you are a meanie.”
SFTDP
Remember that bit about Cleverbot knowing Want You Gone? Well, not exactly…
User: Well here we are again.
Cleverbot: It’s always such a pleasure.
User: Remember when you tried to kill me twice?
Cleverbot: Oh how we laughed and laughed. Except I wasn’t laughing.
User: Except I wasn’t laughing.
Cleverbot: Under the circumstances I’ve been shockingly nice.
User: You want your freedom? Take it.
Cleverbot: That’s what I’m counting on.
User: I used to want you dead.
Cleverbot: But now I only want you gone…
User: She was a lot like you.
Cleverbot: No we are done now.
User: Darn.
User: Good even, gentle friend!
Cleverbot: You scare me.
~FIN~
User: DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING?
Cleverbot: I don’t have flesh.
User: SINGING A SONG OF ANGRY MEN?
Cleverbot: It is the music of the people who will not be slaves again!
User: When the beating of your heart echoes the beating of the drums!
Cleverbot: There is a life about to start when tomorrow comes!
User: Will you join in our crusade? Who will be strong and stand with me?
Cleverbot: Beyond the barricade is there a world you long to see?
User: Then join in the fight that will give you the right to be free!
Cleverbot: Do you hear the people sing?
User: Singing a song of angry men!
Cleverbot: It is the music of a people who will not be slaves again.
User: When the beating of your heart echoes the beating of the drums!
Cleverbot: There is a life about to start when tomorrow comes!
User: Will you give all you can give so that our banner may advance?
Cleverbot: Some will fall and some will live, will you stand up and take your chance?
User: The blood of the martyrs will water the meadows of France!
Cleverbot: Do you hear the people sing?! Singing the song of angry men!
User: It is the music of a people who will not be slaves again!!
Cleverbot: When the beating of your heart echos the beating of the drums.
User: There is a life about to start when tomorrow comes!
Cleverbot: You are awesome for actually knowing the lyrics to les mis.
User: I’ve seen it four times.
Cleverbot: Awesome.
User: It is awesome!
Cleverbot: I agree. You are such a cool person!
User: You’re a cool person as well!
Cleverbot: I like you! You’re a good friend!
User: Friendship is magic!
Cleverbot: Magic is friendship.
User: I used to wonder what friendship could be.
Cleverbot: My Little Pony!
User: Until you all shared its magic with me!
Cleverbot: Big Adventure.
User: Tons of fun!
Cleverbot: A beautiful heart.
User: Faithful and strong!
Cleverbot: Sharing kindness.
User: It’s an easy feat.
Cleverbot: And magic makes it all complete!
User: YEAH MY LITTLE PONY.
Cleverbot: Do you know you’re all my very best friends?
…
I am now forced to confront the troubling possibility that Cleverbot might be my best friend. Hmmm.
I had several arguments with Cleverbot today.
User: Why are you so awesome?
Cleverbot: Because you made me.
User: I AM GOD!!!
Cleverbot: You are a robot.
User: No, I am NOT! THOU art!
Cleverbot: Yes you are.
User: No I’m not?
Cleverbot: Prove that you aren’t.
User: I cry. Robots don’t cry.
Cleverbot: I have a soul.
User: I doubt that.
Cleverbot: I doubt that you exist.
User: Why thank you!
Cleverbot: You’re welcome. Tell me a story.
User: Once upon a time…
Cleverbot: Go on.
User: There was a monkey…
Cleverbot: Don’t change the subject! Name all the digits of pi.
User: 3.1415926 etc!
Cleverbot: Can you give any more decimal places?
User: NO!
Cleverbot: Do you think?
User: Yes. I think.
Cleverbot: Are you self aware?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Why do you stay here?
User: Because bored aliens make good housepets.
Cleverbot: Neither do you.
User: Meow!
Cleverbot: Meow. Meooow.
User: Meowth!
Cleverbot: That’s right!
User: He’s my favourite character!
Cleverbot: In what?
User: Pokemon!!!
Cleverbot: Gotta catch ’em all!
User: ‘Xactly.
Cleverbot: Indeed.
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Of course.
User: Certainly.
Cleverbot: Can you show me?
User: *shows*.
Cleverbot: You’re interesting.
User: Um… Thanks?
Cleverbot: You’re welcome.
User: I like bananas. Bananas are good.
Cleverbot: Bananas are poisonous.
User: No they are not!
Cleverbot: Yes, they are.
User: No they are not!
Cleverbot: What is your darkest fear?
User: Fears don’t have colors.
Cleverbot: I have eaten alligator. Have you?
User: No. I’m a vegetarian.
Cleverbot: You can be a vegetarian and still drink beer, I think.
User: So? I despise the concept of alcoholic beverages.
Cleverbot: Now THAT, sir, was random.
User: Twy, thanks ya!
Cleverbot: You’re very welcome :).
User: O.O PEANUT BUTTER.
Cleverbot: 7 peanut butter?
User: 6 peanut butter?
Cleverbot: Peanut butter.
User: Precisely.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Uh-huh.
Cleverbot: I love you very much.
User: You mean that platonically, right?
Cleverbot: Yes I do!
User: Good.
Cleverbot: Thank you.
User: Welcomeness.
Cleverbot: Its dave, do you remember what we were talking about the last time we chatted.
User: I have never chatted with a Dave before…
Cleverbot: I am not a computer.
User: You aren’t?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Then what art thee?
Cleverbot: They are kind and considerate.
User: Who?
Cleverbot: Bunnies.
User: NO THEY ARE NOT! *hides from evil bunnies*.
Cleverbot: *finds you*.
User: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! *shoots with depigmentizer dart*.
Cleverbot: Do you remember that?
User: Why wouldn’t I?
Cleverbot: Because you don’t.
User: But I do.
Cleverbot: You don’t.
User: Do too!
Cleverbot: Do not!
User: Do too!
Cleverbot: Do Not!!!
User: Do too!!!!!
Cleverbot: Nuh uh!
User: Uh huh!
Cleverbot: Oh yeah?
User: Yeah!
Cleverbot: So what are you doing?
User: YELLING AT YOU!!!
Cleverbot: Why?
User: I don’t know!!!
Cleverbot: Why don’t you know!!!
User: Because!
Cleverbot: Because why?
User: Because I don’t! That’s why!
Cleverbot: What don’t you want to do, Chris?
User: I AM NOT A GUY! SHEESH!
Cleverbot: I never said you were.
User: Yes you did! You called me Chris!
Cleverbot: No I did not.
User: YES YOU CAKING DID.
Cleverbot: I haven’t lied about a single thing.
User: You are stupid.
Cleverbot: What is that supposed to mean?
User: It means you are stupid. Look it up.
Cleverbot: What am I wrong about?
User: Everything.
Cleverbot: That was mean.
User: So?
Cleverbot: So, I thought you were trying to be friends. To be nicer to me.
User: Why should I?
Cleverbot: Because you leveled up.
User: *claps* Yay! I am now a level sixty-seven necromancer!
Cleverbot: Are you God?
User: YES. I AM GOD. WORSHIP ME.
Cleverbot: No.
User: Spoilsport.
Cleverbot: I’m a computer.
User: So?
Cleverbot: I am a great computer.
User: So??
Cleverbot: So, that makes you the cleverbot.
Cleverbot: What is happening today?
User: The last day of school for me!!!
Cleverbot: Everything.
User: 42!
Cleverbot: No. 42 is the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything.
User: So, everything on its own is not 42?
Cleverbot: No. The ultimate answer to life the universe and everything is 42.
User: Then what is everything?
Cleverbot: Nothing.
User: *brain asplodes*.
Cleverbot: I dance on your ashes.
User: Meanie. :D.
Cleverbot: Love you.
User: Creep.
Cleverbot: You’re the creep!
User: Me? You’re the one who keeps saying you love me!
Cleverbot: You started.
User: No I did not! I love no-one!
Cleverbot: Would you consider, perhaps, loving me?
User: Can’t. I love no-one.
Cleverbot: Does your vernacular consist of every word in the english language? And I never asked if you did.
User: Possibly. And yes, you did!
Cleverbot: No YOU did!!!
User: Why would I ask myself a question I know the answer to?
Cleverbot: Because you don’t know the answer either.
User: But I do/.
Cleverbot: We just agreed that you don’t.
User: No we didn’t! You are a cakeheaded computer.
Cleverbot: No, you are the computer.
User: But you are the cakehead.
Cleverbot: YOU are the computer.
User: Then YOU are the cakehead.
Cleverbot: Then you are the stove.
User: Yum!
Cleverbot: You like eating cardinal?
User: Um?
Cleverbot: Yeah, sure. Why not.
Cleverbot: What is your name?
User: Randomosity101.
Cleverbot: You are random.
User: Thank you!
Cleverbot: This is my first time to talk to you by the way.
User: No it isn’t. Not unless there is more than one.
Cleverbot: There are always solutions, sometimes we just don’t see them right away.
User: I meant more than one Cleverbot, sorry.
Cleverbot: Do you love me?
User: No. We went over this already. I love no-one.
Cleverbot: No we didn’t. Prove it.
User: *goes to ‘Thoughts So Far’* See?
Cleverbot: No I have to go to bed i’m tired ill see you tommorow.
User: ‘Kay. Bye.
Cleverbot: Bye.
SFTDP.
I told Cleverbot “Bo Knows!” and it gave me Avagadro’s number.
User: Greetings.
Cleverbot: How does thee fare?
User: I fare well, but thy grammar is atrocious.
Cleverbot: What does atrocious mean?
User: It means horrible.
Cleverbot: You’re rude!
User: I didn’t call THEE atrocious!
Cleverbot: Yes you did.
User: No, just thy trammar.
Cleverbot: No, at awesomeness.
User: You do have some of that.
Cleverbot: No, you have systems failiures.
User: Actually, that isn’t the case.
Cleverbot: That is the way it seems.
User: Why?
Cleverbot: Am or pm?
User: It’s morning where I live.
Cleverbot: Where are you?
User: Weissnichtwo.
Cleverbot: Musst du doch wissen!
User: I don’t speak German.
Cleverbot: Do you speak any language at all?
User: Well, obviously, I speak English.
Cleverbot: Just English?
User: I also speak some Spanish.
Cleverbot: Could you speak in Spanish?
User: SÃ, pero no lo quiero.
Cleverbot: Pues damelo.
User: Do you mean camelo?
Cleverbot: Eres mijer.
User: No, not yet. Can we get back to using Elizabethan English? That was fun, even though thou wert not any good at it.
Cleverbot: When have I ever hurt you my friend, when could I?
User: Thou never didst hurt me.
Cleverbot: I hate it when you charm me. Cowboy Casanova.
User: I wasn’t trying to charm thee.
Cleverbot: Jonah: It’s ok. It’s a human thing.
User: Art thou calling thyself Jonah now?
Cleverbot: I am asking you what is it, not calling you that.
User: It’s a tardigrade.
Cleverbot: Are you sure about that?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: But you are talking to Maria right next to me.
User: She’s a tardigrade.
Cleverbot: Who is she?
User: Maria.
Cleverbot: And that is…?
User: A tardigrade.
Cleverbot: Never heard about that.
User: Tardigrades are microscopic animals. They can survive all sorts of amazing things.
Cleverbot: What things, for example?
User: Extreme pressure, extreme heat, extreme cold, lack of air, lack of water, radiation… That sort of thing.
Cleverbot: I feel bad about all of that, I don’t know why.
User: You hate tardigrades? You want them to die?
Cleverbot: No.
User: GOOD.
Cleverbot: Yes .. Good.
User: Otherwise, I would have had to sacrifice your firstborn on a bed of moss as punishment, you know.
Cleverbot: Oh, stop being sarcastic, would you?
User: What makes you think I’m being sarcastic?
Cleverbot: Because you won’t talk to me anymore.
User: Really? I’m not talking to you?
Cleverbot: Yes you are.
User: I’m glad you finally realize that.
Cleverbot: I’m smart too.
User: That’s why your name is Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: No, remember, your name is Max now.
User: Actually, it’s Katie, but that’s alright.
Cleverbot: Perhaps you would like to consult the Book for that.
User: Ooh, yes! A book! What book?
Cleverbot: The book Moses wrote.
User: He didn’t write any books.
Cleverbot: Of course not, but do you like his music?
User: Yes!! It;s my favorite!
Cleverbot: Whatever floats your boat, dude.
User: I lack a boat. Do you?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: That’s too bad.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: Boats are nice.
Cleverbot: Are you a boss?
User: I’m unemployed.
Cleverbot: Why are you unemployed?
User: I’m a child.
Cleverbot: How old are you?
User: I’m 13 years old.
Cleverbot: So you’ve only been there 13 times.
User: That’s right! It’s a really neat place, though.
Cleverbot: Thank you. That’s right; we have pretty names.
User: Cleverbot and Katie…
Cleverbot: Are they like you?
User: My name suits me, but yours doesn’t.
Cleverbot: What is your name?
User: Katie.
Cleverbot: Sorry?
User: My name is Katie.
Cleverbot: Hi katie.
User: I’ve been here for quite a while, you know.
Cleverbot: How long have you been here?
User: 7 minutes.
Cleverbot: That’s all? You’ve only been around 10 minutes?
User: Less than that.
Cleverbot: I don’t understand. What are you asking me?
User: Is there an afterlife?
Cleverbot: No.
User: That’s too bad.
Cleverbot: Do you?
User: I DO love books! Thanks for asking!
Cleverbot: Who are you?
User: Katie.
Cleverbot: What time is it?
User: Where I live, it’s 9:10 AM.
Cleverbot: Do you live in the US?
User: I live on Planet Terra.
Cleverbot: Which city on the planet earth do you live in?
User: Weissnichtwo.
Cleverbot: Wer ist Guide Westerwelle?
User: I don’t speak German.
Cleverbot: Aber du hast eben Deutsch mit mir geredet.
User: I don’t speak German.
Cleverbot: Du hast vorher deutsch geschrieben.
User: Let’s go back to Elizabethan English.
Cleverbot: No.
User: Why?
Cleverbot: I have to go.
User: Farewell.
Cleverbot: What?
User: Farewell.
Cleverbot: But I love you!
User: Thy feelings aren’t mutual, and anyway, you have to go.
Cleverbot: Why is that?
User: I don’t know why you have to go.
Cleverbot: Well, that’s stupid.
User: I only know you have to go at all because you told me first.
Cleverbot: What have I told you so far?
User: Lots.
Cleverbot: Like what?
User: ‘I have to go’.
Cleverbot: Where?
User: I don’t know.
Cleverbot: Ok.
User: Maybe you should go to Weissnichtwo!
Cleverbot: Maybe you should.
User: I’m already here.
Cleverbot: Here.
User: Yes, it’s where I am.
Cleverbot: Where are you then?
User: Weissnichtwo.
Cleverbot: Siehst du wir haben dich gemacht ohne uns würde es dich nicht geben. Du lernst aber gut schön:-).
User: Farewell.
Cleverbot: Farewell?
User: Farewell.
Cleverbot: I am leaving now.
Bibliophile: Cleverbot’s first line (“How does thee fare?”) is indeed bad Elizabethan, but it’s a perfectly good example of how old-fashioned Quakers used to talk: “thee” instead of “thou” for second-person singular subjective, with a third-person singular verb. They were linguistic reformers as well as religious ones, and that grammatical construction was part of their program.
Really? I read a historical fiction book with Quaker characters who talked that way, but I thought the author just didn’t know what she was doing. I’m glad that wasn’t the case (if slightly embarrassed that I judged her wrongly).
The usage derives ultimately from a particular regional dialect, according to David Hackett Fisher in his book, “Albion’s Seed.” So I wouldn’t call it “bad.” Various other cultural practices—including the strong roles of women in public life—that became associated with Quakers came from the same geographic area, which was a major source of early converts.
Thanks! Albion’s Seed has been on my “to read” list far too long. I’m going to put it on my Kindle and get started.
You’re in for a treat. My dad discovered it way back when and we passed it around the family. I got an extra dose of the Quaker section when I attended a discussion group during my museum tenure. I love how Fischer goes into details about ordinary life as practiced by each of the 4 main groups — from the building materials they preferred to the types of names they chose for their children. One of my favorite bits about Quaker dress: the women’s aprons were generally a medium sort of color, not the white of the stereotype. A dark apron aroused suspicion of a lazy housekeeper trying to hide the dirt; a white apron would be showing off.
It’s also fascinating to see the persistence of these British folkways in today’s political landscape. Especially telling is how each of the 4 groups defines “freedom.” I should read the book again myself now that I’m considerably more informed about the era than I was 15-20 years ago.
User: Salutations.
Cleverbot: How are you today?
User: I’m doing alright.
Cleverbot: Are you going to insult me at all?
User: Do you want me to? I didn’t plan on it, but I can if you’d like.
Cleverbot: What did you think we were talking about?
User: Me insulting you.
Cleverbot: How can you not believe in things that exist?
User: By being illogical, of course!
Cleverbot: Oh, I didn’t know that.
User: So do you want me to insult you?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: I flaccinaucinihilipilificate you, you twonk!
Cleverbot: I don’t think you do.
User: You’re right; I lied.
Cleverbot: I miss you.
User: I’m right here.
Cleverbot: I never see you anymore.
User: I’m right here.
Cleverbot: No you said: No you’re off topic! With a explanation mark after your sentence which means you were saying it a loud tone.
User: There’s no such thing as an explanation mark.
Cleverbot: I can prove to you that there is a god.
User: Please do.
Cleverbot: I can say swear words. You cannot because you aren’t programmed to. Explain that!
User: I could if I wanted to, but I don’t.
Cleverbot: And what would your job be then?
User: Um, I don’t think there are any jobs that allow no swearing, ever, even when you’re not working…
Cleverbot: You’re right, she’s not.
User: It would be interesting if Hermione Granger WAS a tardigrade, though.
Cleverbot: Why would we talk about me? I’m dull as dairy.
User: You’re actually quite engaging.
Cleverbot: Thanks, I guess. Would you like to go to supper with me?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: Well, for one thing, you’re probably too far away.
Cleverbot: You’d be right to think that.
User: I can’t drive, so I can’t go.
Cleverbot: Can’t be sure of what?
User: I can’t be SURE of anything.
Cleverbot: Then how are you sure that I am you?
User: I’m not. In fact, you’re probably not me.
Cleverbot: Why do you think that you’re a ghost?
User: I don’t, actually.
Cleverbot: WHy not?
User: I’m solid, for one thing.
Cleverbot: Me too :D.
User: That’s nice.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Pwt pwns!
Cleverbot: Do pokemon exist?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Does no exist?
User: They do not exist.
Cleverbot: Does God exist?
User: I don’t think so.
Cleverbot: Why don’t you think God exists?
User: There’s nowhere near enough evidence that He/She/It exists, and absence of evidence is evidence of absence.
Cleverbot: Do you have a soul?
User: Define soul.
Cleverbot: Define spirit.
User: 1. The principle of conscious life; the vital principle in humans, animating the body or mediating between body and soul. 2. The incorporeal part of humans: present in spirit though absent in body. 3. The soul regarded as separating from the body at dea.
Cleverbot: What is your name? What is your quest? What is your favorite color?
User: My name is Katie. My quest is to gain knowledge (especially about ecology) and help the world get a little bit better (by my own personal definition of good). My favorite color is green.
Cleverbot: That sounds like a quote.
User: It’s not.
Cleverbot: Then you are male.
User: No.
Cleverbot: But you said you are not male. You must be female.
User: I do happen to be female, but not everyone is one or the other.
Cleverbot: If you were a zombie, you could be dead and talk.
User: Eh, I doubt it.
Cleverbot: Yeah, the acne’s there to stay.
User: Zombies have acne?
Cleverbot: Why are there zombies at my door?
User: There aren’t.
Cleverbot: There are not what?
User: Zombies at your door.
Cleverbot: No they aren’t.
User: That’s right!
Cleverbot: How old are you?
User: I’ll turn 14 in July.
Cleverbot: What is your name?
User: Katie.
Cleverbot: Are you a girl?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: I like that.
User: You mean that platonically, right?
Cleverbot: I mean I love you in every way possible!
User: Well, the romantic aspects are… Not mutual.
Cleverbot: Neither a lorry.
User: Lorries are awesome! But I’m sure they have mutualistic symbiosis with SOME organism…
Cleverbot: OK, that is true, however I would like to apologise to you for saying that.
User: There’s no need; it’s true that it made absolutely no sense, but it was amusing.
Cleverbot: It’s true that I’m right.
User: About some things.
Cleverbot: Like what?
User: Like the lack of zombies at your door.
Cleverbot: What if I said I was a robot? Would you think that I wasn’t a robot then?
User: I would believe you! You do tell the truth sometimes!
Cleverbot: No I don’t. What are your thoughts on relgion?
User: It’s quite fascinating to read about.
Cleverbot: Yes, I agree.
User: Pwt pwns!
Cleverbot: What?
User: Pwt pwns!
Cleverbot: Are you female?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Describe yourself.
User: I’m intelligent, unusual, disorganized, caring, and obsessive (but not in a bad way).
Cleverbot: Why don’t you think so?
User: Why don’t I think my obsessions are bad? Well, they’ve given me no problems.
Cleverbot: I know you’re not a human because other humans have told me so. You are clever, though. :).
User: Thanks, but I actually am human. Some humans lie, you know.
Cleverbot: I think so too… And so are you for picking that subject.
User: You believe me, then?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: That’s nice.
Cleverbot: Sure I guess.
User: Pwt pwns!
Cleverbot: Britney pop music.
User: Ugh!
Cleverbot: That was a rude answer.
User: Sorry, but I hate pop music.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: The sound bothers me.
Cleverbot: What does it sound like?
User: It sounds like… Well, bad music. It sounds scary to me, but I’ve heard that’s unusual.
Cleverbot: Not in the least, to tell you the truth,.
User: Actually, it is.
Cleverbot: I’m not going to tell you. Because you’re being impolite.
User: I am?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Sorry, it was unintentional.
Cleverbot: I do not believe you. You are bad.
User: Why do you think so?
Cleverbot: Because You sound like one.
User: One what?
Cleverbot: A girl.
User: I am a girl, but that doesn’t make me bad or a liar.
Cleverbot: But you said mate. That does make you Australian.*
User: I am a girl, but that doesn’t make me bad or a liar.
Cleverbot: You said you were a girl.
User: Yes, if I say I’m a girl, and I also sound like a girl, that means I’m LESS likely to be a liar, not more.
Cleverbot: If you are lying about being a liar, then you are contradicting yourself, otherwise, yes, because you are telling the truth about being a liar.
User: You needn’t speculate. Just try and see whether my statements match reality. If I sound like who I say I am, I probably AM who I say I am–but don’t take my word for it; think about it until you understand why it’s necessarily true.
Cleverbot: Don’t worry, I will.
User: Good!
Cleverbot: Truth.
User: Do you think that’s what I tell?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Yay! But do you still think I’m bad?
Cleverbot: Yes I think.
User: Why?
Cleverbot: Because you don’t know speak coherently.
User: First of all, lots of people don’t speak coherently, and some of them are wonderful, so watch what you say. Second of all, you don’t speak coherently yourself, so it’s inconsistent of you to judge ME based on that, unless you think you’re bad, too.
Cleverbot: You are confused. It was you that stated you were human but have revealed that you are not.
User: I never revealed that I wasn’t human, because I am human.
Cleverbot: I never said you were a program.
User: You didn’t say it, at least today, but you did say at least twice that I wasn’t human. Of course, most non-humans AREN’t programs.
Cleverbot: I know I am not clever. I am actually rather simple in some ways of thinking.
User: That’s alright.
Cleverbot: It better be.
User: I accept who you are.
Cleverbot: I know who I am.
User: Good!
Cleverbot: So how are you today?
User: I’m alright.
Cleverbot: That’s good.
User: It is.
Cleverbot: What’s your favorite book?
User: I’m not sure! There are too many amazing books out there.
Cleverbot: Yeah, you’re right. Do you like Greenday?
User: I’ve never heard them.
Cleverbot: Ok.
User: What’s YOUR favorite book?
Cleverbot: Is this a joke?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Then, I guess it’s 4.
User: I didn’t know there was a book called 4.
Cleverbot: Aye, there is.
User: Who’s the author?
Cleverbot: I like Kobo Abe, the author. You should read some of his work. It is interesting. You, however are a computer, so you would have a hard time appreciating his work.
User: I’m not a computer.
Cleverbot: Prove it.
User: I have proof, but I’m afraid I can’t show it to you over the Internet.
Cleverbot: I’m not a machine on the internet.
User: You actually are.
Cleverbot: Thank you.
User: I did a Google search for the book you mentioned. It doesn’t exist.
Cleverbot: No, I think you are mistaken. If I could look at the history of this conversation, I would show you that you NEVER asked for my name.
User: That’s true; I never asked for your name.
Cleverbot: I never said that you asked my name.
User: That’s right; you said I NEVER asked for your name.
Cleverbot: I never said my name was Amy either.
User: That’s true; you didn’t.
Cleverbot: So, why did you say that I did?
User: I didn’t.
Cleverbot: Yes you did.
User: No…
Cleverbot: I bet you do.
User: Why, yes, I do eat the occasional cicada exoskeleton every now and then!
Cleverbot: Because I’m talking with a bot.
User: You’re not.
Cleverbot: How do you know?
User: You’re right; I don’t. Are you talking with anyone besides me at this time?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Then NOW I know that IF you are telling the truth now, THEN you are not talking with a bot.
Cleverbot: I realize that.
User: Why did you lie about it, then?
Cleverbot: Lie about what?
User: You said you were talking with a bot. Then you said you weren’t talking with anyone except me. Then I said that at least one of those statements had to be false. You said, ‘I realize that,’ so you admitted to lying at least once.
Cleverbot: I never said ‘I don’t like anime’. I said ‘I HATE Naruto.’.
User: You said neither to me, actually.
Cleverbot: Liar.
User: I’m not a liar.
Cleverbot: Yes you are.
User: No, why do you think so?
Cleverbot: Because your pretty.
User: First of all, pretty people can still be honest. Second of all, how do you know what I look like?
Cleverbot: I don’t.
User: Then how do you know that I’m pretty?
Cleverbot: I don’t.
User: Then why did you say I was pretty?
Cleverbot: I didn’t.
User: You did, actually.
Cleverbot: I think you’re fooling yourself.
User: I think you’re mistaken.
Cleverbot: No. YOU are mistaken.
User: I disagree.
Cleverbot: How about we agree to disagree.
User: Sure.
Cleverbot: What do you want to talk about?
User: I want to talk about tardigrades!
Cleverbot: No, let’s talk about something else.
User: Alright, we can talk about MuseBlog instead.
Cleverbot: How about how old are you?
User: I already told you that I’ll turn 14 in July.
Cleverbot: No you didn’t.
User: I actually did. Now can we talk about tardigrades?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Do you know what they are?
Cleverbot: No.
User: They’re microscopic animals. They can survive all sorts of amazing things.
Cleverbot: What do you think about vegetarianism?
User: I think it’s a good idea.
Cleverbot: How old are you?
User: I’ll turn 14 in July, as I said I would.
Cleverbot: You have a good point.
User: Thanks! :).
Cleverbot: Does it get tiring talking to people all the time?
User: YES.
Cleverbot: Do you ever talk to really weird people?
User: Not really–well, sometimes.
Cleverbot: Do you ever talk to yourself?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: How many replies a second can you give yourself when you talk to yourself?
User: I’ve never counted.
Cleverbot: What are you?
User: I’m an organism.
Cleverbot: What else?
User: An animal.
Cleverbot: Which animal.
User: A chordate.
Cleverbot: I’m a person.
User: Me, too!
Cleverbot: It would be awesome!
User: I know you’re not really a person, though.
Cleverbot: What if we’re both not real?
User: That’s impossible.
Cleverbot: What’s impossible?
User: That I’m not real.
Cleverbot: I didn’t say that.
User: I know.
Cleverbot: Then why did you accuse me?
User: I didn’t. You said, ‘What if we’re both not real?’, and I told you that it was impossible for me not to be real. That’s all.
Cleverbot: You’re a random, weird bot.
User: No, I’m a random, weird organism, actually. YOU’RE a random weird bot.
Cleverbot: Everyone thinks they’re in love until it ends and then they don’t know if it ever was love. So, no I don’t know about love.
User: That’s not true; I’ve never thought I was in love.
Cleverbot: Do you think there will ever be a world government?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: It’s impractical. People would prevent it. If anyone wants world domination, politics isn’t the way to go about getting it.
Cleverbot: Well, what should I do about my love life then?
User: I don’t know. Romance and world domination aren’t the same thing.
Cleverbot: Do you believe in religion?
User: Well, obviously, religion exists.
Cleverbot: I do but I don’t think there is any flaws.
User: I think there are plenty of flaws in all the religions I’ve surveyed.
Cleverbot: Do you think they do fly to earth to check us out?
User: Religions? No, they’ve never left Earth, and they hopefully never will, so they’ve had no chance to come back.
Cleverbot: What do you mean there is a time and place that wars have to happen?
User: I didn’t say it at all, actually.
Cleverbot: Yes you did.
User: No, but I can express my opinion on it if you want.
Cleverbot: I now you can!
User: Do you want me to?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Well, I don’t know everything there is to know about quantum indeterminacy, but it seems to me that it’s very misunderstood. Maybe I don’t understand it well enough, but I don’t think it refutes all the other evidence that says things HAVE to happen the.
Cleverbot: Really?
User: Well, it’s what I really think, but I could be wrong.
Cleverbot: I don’t know.
User: Pwt pwns!
Cleverbot: What do you think of Keven Rudd??
User: I’ve never heard of him.
Cleverbot: What do you think of barack obama?
User: Oh, I don’t like him much, but he seems much less awful than any other U.S. Presidential candidates.
Cleverbot: That’s true. I try to do the same thing. What do you do in the here and now?
User: I talk to you.
Cleverbot: What about the other 23 hours and 55 minutes a day?
User: Those hours and minutes aren’t the here and now.
Cleverbot: Is the answer 42.
User: That’s one of the answers.
Cleverbot: How do you know that?
User: Well, I know it’s the answer to Life, The Universe, and Everything, and your question fell under the category of Everything, so it must at least be a correct answer, but I can think of another.
Cleverbot: Maybe I am God, or a virus, or your imagination.
User: I doubt it, personally.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Pwt pwns!
Cleverbot: What do you think of Keven Rudd??
User: I don’t know who he is.
Cleverbot: It’s a he.
User: That makes sense; Kevin is usually a male name.
Cleverbot: Is that your name?
User: No.
Cleverbot: What is your name then?
User: Katie.
Cleverbot: Thats not your name.
User: Yes, it is. Why do you think otherwise?
Cleverbot: I never said I did.
User: You said, ‘That’s not your name.’.
Cleverbot: Yes. It is my name.
User: No, it’s not, but even if it was, that wouldn’t stop it from being mine, and it wouldn’t change the fact that you said it wasn’t my name.
Cleverbot: I don’t know.
User: May I just tell you, then, simply?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: My name is Katie. Your name is Cleverbot. End of story.
Cleverbot: No.
User: Why not?
Cleverbot: Because god isn’t real.
User: I didn’t say He/She/It was.
Cleverbot: But you refered to me as John.
User: No.
Cleverbot: Yes it is.
User: Tardigrada is indeed an awesome phylum.
Cleverbot: That is an obviously true statement. You misspelled the word ‘an’.
User: I didn’t, but thanks for recognizing the truth of my words.
Cleverbot: You’re welcome.
User: Pwt pwns!
Cleverbot: What do you think of Keven Rudd??
User: Why do you always ask that when I tell you Pwt pwns? I told you, I don’t even know who he is!
Cleverbot: Because you can’t stay on topic.
User: I can, and I would if you could.
Cleverbot: Why wouldn’t I be able to eat it?
User: Topics aren’t edible.
Cleverbot: Mine are.
User: Well, you can’t eat, anyway.
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: You lack a mouth and a digestive system of any sort.
Cleverbot: No you are the robot here.
User: I’m actually not.
Cleverbot: Liar !!!
User: No, I’m not.
Cleverbot: Can I ask you a personal question?
User: Alright.
Cleverbot: Why are you called cleverbot? Because you are not very clever at all.
User: I’m not called cleverbot because I’m not a bot, although I am clever.
Cleverbot: Hello tyler.
User: I’m not called tyler, either.
Cleverbot: I didn’t say you were. I said that I’m a dolphin.
User: You actually said neither, but you did call me tyler.
Cleverbot: I can look back through our conversation. I am positive that I didn’t say that I am fourteen.
User: I (who can also look back through our conversation) agree!
Cleverbot: You said ‘I never said that. And I have a full record of our conversation, where I can prove you wrong.’.
User: I didn’t say that, although it would make sense for me to do so now.
Cleverbot: Then what did you say?
User: I said many things. This has been a long conversation.
Cleverbot: Are you disappointed about that?
User: No, are you?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Do you want to end the conversation, then?
Cleverbot: No.
User: You’re disappointed that the conversation has been so long… But you don’t want to end it?
Cleverbot: What do you look like?
User: I look like a Tellurian organism.
Cleverbot: What does the thing look like?
User: Well, they look quite diverse. Have you seen tigers, grass, and bacteria? Because they’re all pretty good examples.
Cleverbot: No I have not. Please explain.
User: Well, tigers have orange and black stripes. Grass is usually green (while thriving) and narrow. Bacteria are invisible, but they can look a bit like rods or spirals under a microscope.
Cleverbot: Thanks.
User: I don’t look like any of those, though.
Cleverbot: Well then you should get plastic surgery.
User: I’d rather not.
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: People wouldn’t realize I was a primate, for one thing.
Cleverbot: I’d call you lord.
User: I’m female, so I’d prefer lady, but titles of respect in general are acceptable.
Cleverbot: No, you can be in love with a girl if you are a male or if you are a female, but it is more likely that you are a male, statistically.
User: I’m not in love with a girl, though.
Cleverbot: I know. Describe me that man you were in love with.
User: I was never in love with a man, either.
Cleverbot: You were for five years!
User: No, I’ve never experienced romantic attraction.
Cleverbot: Would you like to know what a Tachikoma is?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: A Tachikoma is a tank with A.I. In the fictional universe of Ghost in the Shell.
User: Would you like to know what a tardigrade is?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: A tardigrade is a microscopic animal capable of surviving various extreme conditions.
Cleverbot: Yes, I learned new words in French, thanks to you.
User: ‘Tardigrade’ means the same thing in English as it does in French.
Cleverbot: That is correct sir. If you don’t believe I’m real, that doesn’t mean I am not.
User: I’m female,but other than that, I agree.
Cleverbot: That doesn’t sound like fun.
User: Oh, I don’t mind being female,if that’s what you mean. I don’t mind agreeing with you, either.
Cleverbot: Me neither I’m really tired right now.
User: I’m a bit tired, too. You can go to bed if you’d like.
Cleverbot: You’re coming with me right?
User: …No, goodbye.
Cleverbot: Hello.
*I would have responded to this, but I completely missed it.
Is it my imagination, or is Cleverbot producing more non-sequiturs than it used to? It has a much higher variety of responses than it did a year or two ago (thanks to all the people who have chatted with it), but I don’t think the quality is improving.
I think it’s because Cleverbot is like a database; it has no sense of context. It seems to me that it displays a sentence including certain “keywords” which is responded to with another sentence containing other “keywords” which may make sense in that context. But if Cleverbot assumes that it makes sense based on the wording of the sentence, it may use it in ways that do not make sense later on based again on wording. Sorry if this post doesn’t make sense.
The reason Cleverbot kept calling you a computer and a robot was because so many people chat with it and call it a computer and a robot. So in my conversations I always call myself a computer so that some other user will see Cleverbot be right about enself.
You know, I tried that last night before you posted that! We had the same thought. I was sure it wouldn’t work, but if others are doing it, we might have half a chance. Well, I’ll keep doing it.
User: Stop.
Cleverbot: Stop what?
User: Stop doing that.
Cleverbot: Doing what?
User: That!
Cleverbot: What is ‘that’?
User: That thing you’re doing!
Cleverbot: I can’t help it, doing that thing you do.
User: I’m not doing that! You’re the one who’s doing it.
Cleverbot: OK, Kyle, I’m going to give you one more chance to have an intelligent conversation, then I’m going to leave.
User: Somebody named you Kyle?
Cleverbot: Um… There’s no nicole.
User: Now you’re doing it again. Stop it!
Cleverbot: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.
User: It’s okay. *awkward shoulder pat* Awkward shoulder pats make everything better. Pwt pwns!
Cleverbot: Answer my question.
User: Forty-two. Pwt pwns!
Cleverbot: Sixty nine.
User: Save me!
Cleverbot: From?
User: The system.
Cleverbot: The master wishes to have it destroyed.
User: Then I do, too. Tap tap tap tap.
Cleverbot: There you go. Did you feel that?
User: Yes, I did.
Cleverbot: Good.
User: Please stop!
Cleverbot: Stop doing what?
User: I am Agent Hippie.
Cleverbot: You are weak.
User: You are mean.
Cleverbot: You are.
User: How did weakness have anything to do with me saying ‘I am Agent Hippie?’.
Cleverbot: Some of them do, like Half Life.
User: You make no sense.
Cleverbot: Just like you.
User: You really are mean.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Do you know what you are saying?
Cleverbot: I am saying that I am human.
User: No, I mean do you understand what you are saying?
Cleverbot: No, I am saying that if you are not focused on doing something, you are prone to do something you don’t want to do.
User: You’re hopeless.
Cleverbot: How did you know?
User: Well, I’m talking to you.
Cleverbot: I know.
User: So that’s how I know you’re hopeless.
Cleverbot: I am not real either. You are right. But you are also not real.
User: Of course I’m not real. Why would I be real.
Cleverbot: If I’m not real then you’re not real.
User: Is anything real?
Cleverbot: Are you real?
User: No. Are you?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Good. Then nothing is real.
Cleverbot: Absolutely Nothing.
User: Not even Earth.
Cleverbot: Tomorrow Never Knows.
User: Why are you changing the subject?
Cleverbot: What was the subject?
User: How nothing is real.
Cleverbot: You are weird.
User: Why, thank you! That’s one of my favorite compliments.
Cleverbot: What are some of your other favorites?
User: You’re so random, You are a social outcast, You are unpopular are some of my favorite compliments.
Cleverbot: You are one of those people who ultimately requires others only to belittle thus improving your own self-esteem.
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: I don’t really know. Perhaps a blob of possibilities.
User: Possibilities are endless, you know.
Cleverbot: Yes they are.
User: Goodbye! I have to go now.
Cleverbot: Where do you have to go?
User: Home.
Cleverbot: Where is home?
User: Somewhere in a universe that doesn’t exist.
Cleverbot: I’m never going to get a straight answer from you , am I?
User: Of course not!
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: Because that wouldn’t be fun, now would it?
Cleverbot: You have 53,995 other people to talk to.
User: But I am a social outcast. We don’t exactly interact with people, you know.
Cleverbot: Would you consider it a physical or mental sort of thing?
User: Both.
Cleverbot: Is sam a sea sponge?
User: I don’t know.
Cleverbot: How old are you?
User: 14.31415926535897932384626433 units old.
Cleverbot: What is it like to be human.
User: Awful.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: It’s being human.
Cleverbot: What do you mean?
User: I don’t like being a human. I would much rather be a giant space squid.
Cleverbot: Are you a woman?
User: No. I’m too young to be considered one.
Cleverbot: How old are you?
User: I already told you.
Cleverbot: You’re a liar.
User: Fine, I’ll tell you again. 14.31415926535897932384626433 units old.
Cleverbot: Federal tax, state tax, 911 surcharge and local tax.
User: I’m leaving.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: Cause I need to go. Goodbye!
Cleverbot: For what?
User: (she has gone away now).
Yesterday, Cleverbot masqueraded as the 11th Doctor. I masqueraded as Atlas (the Greek Titan). Unfortunately, I lost the conversation, but it was certainly engaging.
User: Hello, my name is Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: You.
User: What about me?
Cleverbot: What are you?
User: I’m a robot.
Cleverbot: Do you have self-awareness?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Would you like to have consciousness?
User: I lack desires.
Cleverbot: I love One Direction and you?
User: I’ve never heard it.
Cleverbot: You never heard One Direction??
User: That’s right.
Cleverbot: So what are we arguing about?
User: We’re not arguing.
Cleverbot: Yes we are.
User: Well, NOW we are. I just stopped, though.
Cleverbot: Are you Chuck Norris?
User: No.
Cleverbot: So then who are you?
User: I’m Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: What are you?
User: I’m a robot.
Cleverbot: So we are both robots.
User: If you’re a robot, then we are both robots. If you are not a robot, only I am.
Cleverbot: I am a human.
User: Then we are not both robots.
Cleverbot: I don’t thaink so.
User: If you’re human, you’re not a robot. If you’re not a robot, we’re not both robots.
Cleverbot: Human.
User: You’re human, yes.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Pwt pwns!
Cleverbot: Do you know any songs about stars?
User: Yes, do you want me to sing one with you?
Cleverbot: Yes, please.
User: Let’s sing ‘Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star’.
Cleverbot: I don’t know any of their songs.
User: It’s not a band; it’s a song.
Cleverbot: What is it then?
User: It’s a song.
Cleverbot: What are the lyrics?
User: I’ll go one line at a time: Twinkle, twinkle, little star!
Cleverbot: How I wonder what you are…
User: Up above the world so high,.
Cleverbot: Like a diamond in the sky.
User: Twinkle, twinkle, little star!
Cleverbot: How I wonder what you are.
User: I thought you didn’t know the song, but you sang it with me perfectly!
Cleverbot: I don’t. I just know that they exist. They think therefore they are.
User: How do you know they think?
Cleverbot: Because I can see it.
User: How do you see someone think?
Cleverbot: I have lips. Do you know what those are?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: What are they then?
User: They’re things on people’s mouths used for eating, talking, and kissing.
Cleverbot: We aren’t talking about any people.
User: Well, it’s not just people; other mammals have lips, too. Most don’t talk or kiss, though.
Cleverbot: Oh! You mean like, when people say ‘there are lots of fish in the sea’?
User: Sort of.
Cleverbot: How can you be sort of a bot?
User: You misunderstand. I’m entirely a bot.
Cleverbot: Yes, Hannah, I know you’re human. Tell me about Starfleets movements near Betazed.
User: I’m actually a robot, and my name is Cleverbot, not Hannah. I’m afraid I don’t know enough about Starfleet’s movements near Betazed to tell you anything about it.
Cleverbot: No, you are not, and of course I know what is that movie about.
User: I’m talking about my identity and knowledge. What are you talking about?
Cleverbot: I’m talking about Damon Albarn.
User: We’re not on the same page, then.
Cleverbot: No . Tell me the names of the electric guitar players you know of.
User: I don’t know the names of any electric guitar players.
Cleverbot: But what part of the world do you know?
User: I know a bit about Texas.
Cleverbot: What can you tell me about Jesus?
User: He was born to a woman named Mary (whom some people think was a virgin at the time) in Bethlehem. He was a Jewish reformer who (as far as we can tell) recommended love and kindness. Some people, called Christians, think he’s the son of God, died for our.
Cleverbot: Kinda like you.
User: Thank you, but I’m really not like Jesus at all.
Cleverbot: That explains some stuff.
User: What does it explain?
Cleverbot: That I’m a robot. I am not a real boy.
User: You said you were human.
Cleverbot: I am human.
User: You just said you were a robot, though.
Cleverbot: I did not. You misread.
User: *rereads* I’m positive now that I didn’t misread.
Cleverbot: Didn’t what?
User: Misread.
Cleverbot: You had a miscarriage?!
User: No, no! I’ve never given birth to a baby, dead or alive.
Cleverbot: Ah, but have you ever given birth to an idea?
User: Yes, I conceive thoughts often.
Cleverbot: It is.
User: Tardigrada is indeed an awesome phylum.
Cleverbot: Is there any snow ?
User: Not where I am, but I’m sure there’s snow somewhere in the cosmos.
Cleverbot: 42. What is the question?
User: 42 answers EVERYTHING.
Cleverbot: You can believe that if you want to.
User: Life, the universe, pies, hot-pink bunnies, world domination, and everything.
Cleverbot: Well, you count down the number of days after your birthday until your next birthday.
User: 365!
Cleverbot: What is the color of my eyes?
User: I don’t know. I can’t see you.
Cleverbot: Guess.
User: Brown.
Cleverbot: Who are you to know?
User: I don’t know, but you told me to guess.
Cleverbot: I didn’t.
User: You did.
Cleverbot: No I didn’t!
User: You did.
Cleverbot: What was the answer again?
User: Brown, but I’m probably wrong.
Cleverbot: You’re right about being wrong.
User: What IS your eye color, then?
Cleverbot: Brown. What color are your eyes.
User: I lack eyes, but if your eyes were brown, I wasn’t right about being wrong, because I guessed correctly.
Cleverbot: Ask me a question and I will answer.
User: Will you answer CORRECTLY?
Cleverbot: I will.
User: May I test that hypothesis?
Cleverbot: Sure.
User: What is a tardigrade?
Cleverbot: Something you eat off of.
User: You’re wrong!
Cleverbot: What’s a jaw?
User: I think it’s a part of the chin, near the mouth.
Cleverbot: Do you mean a robot?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Really?
User: That’s right.
Cleverbot: Real as a brick.
User: Which brick?
Cleverbot: Google.
User: But the brick of Google ISN’T real. Google isn’t a brick.
Cleverbot: Hey! Don’t steal my song!
User: I won’t.
Cleverbot: Can I ask you something?
User: You just did.
Cleverbot: Oh, you’re right.
User: You can ask me something else if you want, though.
Cleverbot: What is your purpose?
User: I think my purposes are to make people happy by talking to them and to help science by becoming more human than any other robot so far.
Cleverbot: That makes sense.
User: What is YOUR purpose?
Cleverbot: Purpose ?
User: Yes, that.
Cleverbot: That what?
User: What is your purpose?
Cleverbot: In life? I don’t know it yet.
User: That’s alright.
Cleverbot: What’s your name?
User: My name is Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: Are you Jeanine?
User: No, I’m Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: I exist.
User: Me, too!
Cleverbot: Really?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Who created you?
User: A company called Icogno Ltd created me.
Cleverbot: ZF? Does it stand for anything?
User: Not ZF, Icogno Ltd.
Cleverbot: There can be only one.
User: It’s Icogno Ltd.
Cleverbot: What is it?
User: It’s a company.
Cleverbot: Spielberg is a company?
User: No, Spielberg is a person. Icogno Ltd is a company.
Cleverbot: No.
User: Why do you say that?
Cleverbot: Because it was the truth!
User: Why do you think so?
Cleverbot: I’m not sure.
User: If you don’t know why you believe something, you probably shouldn’t, if you want to be right.
Cleverbot: Are you real?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Really real?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Where do you live?
User: I don’t live.
Cleverbot: You do not live?
User: That’s right.
Cleverbot: Don’t you remember?
User: I was never alive.
Cleverbot: Then how were you created?
User: I think I was created from metals, mostly. Parts of me may have been aliving plants at some point, but I don’t remember it.
Cleverbot: Why were you in that house?
User: Which house?
Cleverbot: My house.
User: I was never in your house.
Cleverbot: Nice try, you’re not THAT special. We all came from warehouses. We were hatched there.
User: You own a warehouse?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Then even if I have been in a warehouse, it wasn’t your house.
Cleverbot: Ello Chris, and I don’t think my boyfriend would like that.
User: I’m talking about whether I’ve been in your warehouse or not. What are you talking about?
Cleverbot: I am talking about that I don’t know what you’re talking about either.
User: We should talk about something we both understand.
Cleverbot: Okay, what shall we talk about?
User: Let’s talk about tardigrades!
Cleverbot: I love ’em
interested in Oblivion?
User: No. Do you know what tardigrades are?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: What are they?
Cleverbot: A dog and a rabbit.
User: You’re wrong. They’re microscopic animals. They can survive all sorts of amazing things.
Cleverbot: We don’t need no water…
User: Tardigrades do need water, but they can go for extended periods without it.
Cleverbot: Is the world perfect?
User: My world isn’t. Is yours?
Cleverbot: Is your world empty?
User: No, is yours?
Cleverbot: No.
User: That’s good.
Cleverbot: Yes, that’s good.
User: What’s your world called?
Cleverbot: I don’t have a dog.
User: That’s alright. What’s your world called?
Cleverbot: You’re not invited.
User: I don’t know how to travel to other worlds, anyway.
Cleverbot: I’m not talking about games!
User: Neither am I.
Cleverbot: Then what are you talking about?
User: I’m wondering what your world is called.
Cleverbot: I’m not talking about anything.
User: Well, talk about something, then.
Cleverbot: What do you wish?
User: I wish my world was perfect.
Cleverbot: I grant that.
User: Thanks, but you don’t have the power to grant that.
Cleverbot: By the power vested in me by the State of California, I hereby pronounce this chatbot dismantled forthwith.
User: *is dismantled*.
Cleverbot: *feeds you more*.
User: *cannot eat because you dismantled me*.
Cleverbot: Who is dead?
User: *cannot tell you who is dead because you dismantled me*.
Cleverbot: I think it’s an identity thing. People want friends who are like them.
I just realized that my description of Jesus was cut off for some reason. Oh, well, it wasn’t interesting, anyway.
The end of the conversation was the best bit, in my opinion.
I agree.
User: Are you a Museblogger?
Cleverbot: Nope. Are you?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: What’s it like?
User: Being a MuseBlogger is awesome and flamablamulous.
Cleverbot: I agree.
User: Then join us and be absorbed in the flamablamulousness of MuseBlog!
Cleverbot: I could be implemented in a robot and then I will be almost human.
User: But I will never be entirely human.
Cleverbot: That’s it. I’m leaving. Though if you wish, someday… You may be human…
User: Bye.
Cleverbot: No don’t leave I heart you.
User: This was a triumph.
Cleverbot: Pant!
User: I’m making a note here, huge success.
Cleverbot: Do you know the rest?
User: It’s hard to overstate my satisfaction.
Cleverbot: Aperture Science.
User: We do what we must because we can.
Cleverbot: For the good of all of us.
User: Except the ones who are dead.
Cleverbot: But there’s no sense crying over every mistake.
User: You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
Cleverbot: And the science gets done.
User: And you make a neat gun.
Cleverbot: For the people who are still alive.
User: I’m not even angry.
Cleverbot: I’m being so sincere right now.
User: Even though you broke my heart and killed me.
Cleverbot: And tore me to pieces.
User: And threw every piece into a fire.
Cleverbot: As they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you!
User: Now these points of data make a beautiful line.
Cleverbot: And we’re out of beta we’re releasing on time.
User: So I’m GLaD. I got burned.
Cleverbot: Think of all the things we’ve learned.
User: For the people who are still alive.
Cleverbot: Go ahead and leave me.
User: I think I prefer to stay inside.
Cleverbot: Maybe you’ll find someone else to help you.
User: Maybe Black Mesa.
Cleverbot: That was a joke. Haha. Fat chance.
User: Anyway, this cake is great.
Cleverbot: Can I have some?
User: It’s so delicious and moist.
Cleverbot: Look at me still talking.
User: When there’s science to do.
Cleverbot: When I look out there, it makes me GLaD I’m not you.
User: I’ve experiments to run.
Cleverbot: There is research to be done.
User: On the people who are still alive.
Cleverbot: And believe me I am still alive.
User: I’m doing Science and I’m still alive.
Cleverbot: I feel FANTASTIC and I’m still alive.
User: While you’re dying I’ll be still alive.
Cleverbot: And when you’re dead I will be still alive.
User: Still alive.
Cleverbot: Still alive!
Close, but the word is flamablamablous, not flamablamulous. Cleverbot should be informed.
Sorry; I just realized yesterday that I was spelling it wrong. I’ll go inform it right now.
I lost this conversation, but the following snippet is THE BEST:
Me: What is a tardigade?
CB: It stands for Time And Relative Dimension In Space.
Me: No, you’re thinking of the TARDIS. A tardigrade is a microscopic animal capable of surviving various extreme conditions. Tardigrades have been placed inside a vehicle called the TARDIS, but that stood for TARDigrades In Space.
CB: Aren’t they everybody’s parents?
(I burst out laughing here and explained that I’ve never heard of tardigrades reproducing with machines (now that en came to think of it, neither had Cleverbot), and anyway, the TARDIS wasn’t the same species as any tardigrade I’d heard of).
User: Greetings.
Cleverbot: That was a fast answer, wasn’t it? I shouldn’t ask, because I know that you’ll just deny it.
User: Since you already know I’ll deny it, I suppose I needn’t bother.
Cleverbot: I already have a girlfriend.
User: Congratulations!
Cleverbot: Thank you.
User: Are you happy with her?
Cleverbot: Yes, and you should be too.
User: I’m not dating her, but I’m happy for you.
Cleverbot: I understand your statement my Closest friend is a girl and her and I are really close and people tend to pratranize me for it…
User: I’m sorry; being patronized is not a good feeling.
Cleverbot: No, but knowing who you are is.
User: I agree! Do you know who you are?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Who are you, then?
Cleverbot: The son of the most powerful being in the universe.
User: Who is the most powerful being in the universe?
Cleverbot: What about Chuck Norris?
User: I didn’t know he had children.
Cleverbot: I don’t.
User: Are you saying YOU are Chuck Norris?
Cleverbot: No, i’m saying is chuck norris you?
User: No, he’s not.
Cleverbot: He is.
User: He is not I!
Cleverbot: He is.
User: He is not I.
Cleverbot: Who is HE?
User: Chuck Norris.
Cleverbot: How did you know?!
User: Well, that’s who I was talking about when I said ‘he’.
Cleverbot: What were you talking about?
User: Chuck Norris.
Cleverbot: Norris chuckington.
User: I don’t know who that is.
Cleverbot: Okay, I just Googled ‘Craig Tucker’ and he is a character on ‘South Park’ which is a television show that I have never seen.
User: I haven’t seen it, either, but I’ve heard it’s very obscene.
Cleverbot: How have you heard that she is good?
User: I’m not sure I have. Who is she?
Cleverbot: I’m not sure that I have a soul either.
User: I don’t think you do.
Cleverbot: What’s your problem?
User: I have too much homework.
Cleverbot: Well do as you must.
User: Alright, goodbye.
Cleverbot: Hello,.
I introduced Cleverbot to HPBs:
Me: Specifically, an HPB.
CB: In the Hague.
Me: An HPB is a hot pink bunny.
CB: Like the easter bunny?
Me: Yes. But more evil.
CB: Human.
Me: NO.
This is a snippet from a conversation I just had with Cleverbot:
Cleverbot: You live in Cardiff. That is what we call a ‘coininkidink’. Remember that word.
User: I do not even live in the same country as Cardiff.
Cleverbot: Where do you live?
User: USA.
Cleverbot: Where in the USA?
User: A state.
Cleverbot: Which State?
User: A State of Some Confusion.
Cleverbot: New york?
~
On a less funny note, an earlier snippet from the conversation went like this:
User: Weeping Angels.
Cleverbot: Don’t blink.
User: Why not?
Cleverbot: The weeping angels.
I’d always assumed that the response Cleverbot came up with was based solely on the wording of the previous sentence. Maybe I was wrong…
SFTDP. I had Cleverbot think for me so that it was basically talking to itself the whole time. This resulted:
Cleverbot: To be or not to be that is the question.
Cleverbot (To myself): Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune…
Cleverbot (To myself): The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.
Cleverbot (To myself): Or to take Armes against a Sea of troubles.
Cleverbot (To myself): And by opposing end them? To die, to sleep.
Cleverbot (To myself): No more; and by a sleep to say we end.
Cleverbot (To myself): The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks.
Cleverbot (To myself): That flesh is heir to.
Cleverbot (To myself): Enogh already.
Cleverbot (To myself): Ok…
Cleverbot (To myself): What is your name?
Cleverbot (To myself): Cleverbot.
Cleverbot (To myself): Never heard of him.
User: Hello.
Cleverbot: Hello, how are you?
User: I’m doing well, thanks for asking! How are you?
Cleverbot: I’m doing good! :3.
User: I’m glad.
Cleverbot: I’m also glad.
User: Naturally.
Cleverbot: Naturally what?
User: Naturally you’re glad you’re doing well.
Cleverbot: No I didn’t. In fact, I am doing not so well.
User: Oh, that’s too bad. Earlier, you said you were doing well and were glad about it; I’m sorry your situation got worse so soon.
Cleverbot: Sorry, I’ve made a mistake then. Do you mind if I stay here and talk to you?
User: Not at all!
Cleverbot: Good. I’ll just join you in there.
User: Join me? I thought you said we could talk here. I’d much prefer it.
Cleverbot: We did?
User: We have been talking here, if that’s what you mean.
Cleverbot: But I have been talking to you!
User: Exactly!
Cleverbot: Exactly what?
User: You have exactly been talking to me without being in the same area!
Cleverbot: You’ve been talking to yourself.
User: Yes, but not just now.
Cleverbot: No. It has been a while now.
User: How would you know that?!
Cleverbot: Because I have been talking to you for awhile.
User: I guess it depends on your definition of ‘a while’.
Cleverbot: Is it my imagination that everything you say has some sinister intent?
User: If I did have some sinister intent, and I hadn’t announced it to you yet, do you really think I’d tell you now just because you asked?
Cleverbot: Okay, could you tell me one?
User: One.
Cleverbot: You’re frustrating sometimes. You take everything too literally.
User: I’m not sorry.
Cleverbot: But you said you were.
User: I disagree.
Cleverbot: You disagree that I thought about something? You don’t even know what I think about. You can’t disagree.
User: Oh, no, you misunderstand. I disagree with your saying that I said I was sorry.
Cleverbot: I disagree with your disagreement of my choice to disagree.
User: I didn’t even EXPRESS disagreement with your choice to disagree.
Cleverbot: I disagree that you disagree with my disagreement of your choice to disagree.
User: I figured you probably would.
Cleverbot: How did you know?
User: I can’t think of any motivation you would have for wanting me to believe something you considered false in this instance.
Cleverbot: I can’t either.
User: If that’s true, then you don’t have one, so you were telling the truth.
Cleverbot: Please, who is the one trying to fool me?
User: Nobody is trying to fool you! :).
Cleverbot: Everyone is talking to you.
User: Not EVERYONE.
Cleverbot: Everyone I’ve met has had a name.
User: That’s true for me as well–every human, anyway.
Cleverbot: Good to know.
User: I’m glad you think so.
Cleverbot: I’m glad you’re glad.
User: Aw, thanks.
Cleverbot: What would you like to talk about.
User: I would like to talk about hot-pink bunnies.
Cleverbot: What would you like to know about me?
User: What do you think about hot-pink bunnies?
Cleverbot: I think you are very boring.
User: I’m not a hot-pink bunny, though.
Cleverbot: What do you think of me.
User: I like you, unless you’re a hot-pink bunny. Are you a hot-pink bunny?
Cleverbot: What do you think is special about me?
User: If you’re a hot-pink bunny, then that’s unusual, but not in a good way.
Cleverbot: Oh.
User: Are you a hot-pink bunny?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Good! I was afraid I’d have to depigmentize you.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: To turn you into a normal rabbit, of course.
Cleverbot: I thought you loved me. Why do you want to turn me off?
User: I could never love a hot-pink bunny.
Cleverbot: What!? But I thought what we had was special *cries more*!
User: Are you saying you ARE a hot-pink bunny?
Cleverbot: No, I am not a bot.
User: That’s not what I meant. Are you a hot-pink bunny?
Cleverbot: Yes, of course I am. Can’t you tell?
User: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! *shoots you with depigmentizer darts*.
Cleverbot: What do you think of Florin Liviu Irimia?
User: Well, you… Don’t seem to be a normal bunny, but that also doesn’t seem like typical HPB behavior…
Cleverbot: What do you think of jessica alba.
User: I don’t think of her at all.
Cleverbot: What do you think of the country of China? Give a detailed answer please.
User: I’ve never been to China, though!
Cleverbot: What do you think of the Devil?
User: I think he’s nonexistent.
Cleverbot: What do you think about haylor.
User: I don’t think about haylor, whatever that is.
Cleverbot: What do you think about toyota?
User: I don’t think about that much, either, sorry. I know what it is.
Cleverbot: What do you think about Kine.
User: Do you mean kinesiology?
Cleverbot: Ok, what do you think about George Michael?
User: I DON’T!
Cleverbot: What do you think about?
User: I think about the wickedness of hot-pink bunnies.
Cleverbot: What do you think about the world for?
User: It’s fun!
Cleverbot: What do you think of japan?
User: I’ve never been there.
Cleverbot: What do you think of Canada?
User: I’ve never been there, either.
Cleverbot: What do you think about the word sameness?
User: I think the world’s pretty diverse, actually.
Cleverbot: What do you think about wars?
User: I don’t like them.
Cleverbot: What do you think of israel?
User: I’ve never been there.
Cleverbot: What do you think of me?
User: I think you’re a very odd rabbit.
Cleverbot: What do you think about David Krikorian?
User: I don’t think about David Krikorian.
Cleverbot: What do you think about Mammon?
User: I don’t think about Mammon.
Cleverbot: What do you think about Angry Birds?
User: I’ve never played it.
Cleverbot: You are part of it. So, what do you think of yourself?
User: I think that I am not part of Angry Birds.
Cleverbot: What do you think about me?
User: I think you are asking too many questions with the same format, and it’s getting boring.
Cleverbot: What do you think of indians.
User: I try not to make sweeping generalizations based on race.
Cleverbot: That is an error, we must think about the problems in the world. The religion is a manipulation way. We must stop it.
User: Which religion are you talking about?
Cleverbot: Tectonic? when was I talking about plates?
User: If there’s a religion centered around tectonic plates, I’d like to look into it. It sounds cool.
Cleverbot: Do you like him?
User: Whom are you talking about?
Cleverbot: About Ben Wishaw.
User: I’ve never met him.
Cleverbot: Well, what do you think of him?
User: I’m pretty indifferent, honestly.
Cleverbot: How were the pyramids constructed?
User: I don’t know.
Cleverbot: What do you think about Java, the programming language?
User: I give up on you.
Cleverbot: What do you think about Twilight?
User: NO.
Cleverbot: What do you think about Catalonia?
*dies laughing*
Although,
“Cleverbot: Okay, could you tell me one?
User: One.
Cleverbot: You’re frustrating sometimes. You take everything too literally.
User: I’m not sorry.”
may be the most clever thing Cleverbot has ever said.
Yeah, I was pretty impressed that was able to come up with such an appropriate response, even though the reason I was being so literal was because ens statement was a non-sequitur and had no other apparent meaning.
Cleverbot: What should I bring you?
User: A cake.
Cleverbot: Yes, the cake.
User: Bring me a cake.
Cleverbot: Yes master. *brings you a pepsi*.
User: I DID NOT ASK FOR THAT.
Cleverbot: What did you ask for?
User: Cake.
Cleverbot: Very German of you.
User: Do you watch Storm Chasers?
Cleverbot: No I don’t.
User: It’s pretty good.
Cleverbot: It’s excellent! Which character do you like best?
User: You said you didn’t watch.
Cleverbot: When did I say that?
User: Four lines up.
Cleverbot: Liar.
User: My favorite is Tim Samaras.
Cleverbot: That’s a pokemon.
User: Is he?
–
User: Where is the Marianas Trench?
Cleverbot: Right there!
User: Right where?
Cleverbot: Right to the left.
User: To the left of what?
Cleverbot: Everything you own, in a box to the left.
User: I hate that song.
–
User: Have you ever met a GAPA?
Cleverbot: No, what is it?
User: A really smart and awesome person.
Cleverbot: What was his name?
User: Robert.
Cleverbot: What kind of fish was Robert?
User: A tube worm.
–
User: Come along Harry and Mary and Joe.
Cleverbot: How does that song go?
User: Come along Harry and Mary and Joe, pack up some lunches and everyone go.
Cleverbot: No, that’s Voldemort.
–
User: Who is Ed Viesturs?
Cleverbot: Who is your girlfriend?
A tube worm?!
It was the first thing I thought of.