How-to #56:
How to improve morale at your business
1. Put espresso in the cappuccino machine. People are happier when they’re buzzed.
2. Every month, have a party for no reason.
3. Give people the assignment at least 2 weeks before the deadline, so they have more time to finish it.
4. Give random and silly awards to people for no reason. Or better yet, reasons they don’t want displayed. “Most Inconspicuous Nose-Picker for 2009!”
5. Skip around the office rather than walk.
6. Provide your staff with water pistols or Nerf guns.
7. If all of the above methods fail, try the direct solution. Fire all of the unhappy people.
How-to #53:
How to lose ten pounds of ugly fat
1.Cut off your head.
The first one sounds like my office. Why doesn’t it have a number?
What about the ideal Xmas office party? “Why don’t you take the rest of the day off?”
I must make a note to try #53 on certain persons at school.
Make more! Or send more, just do it now!!!! :angry mob with pitchforks:
It’s unnumbered because I haven’t got around to it. I’ll do the about six unnumbered ones now, if you like.
Ok, now the unnumbered how-to here is #56.
Lovely! (adj. used to describe matter pleasent in form/feature. Ecxclamation frequently used by Phoenix. Luv_liy (also pronounced by Phoenix and whatshername form ‘My Fair Lady’ as luv-a-lee)
meep! (strange expression commonly used by meepits. they be the worst petpets to walk neopia. rumor has, it they’re out to take over the world.)
kokopelli (P.Noun. A native american legend of a mythical dancer. Plays flute to make sun rise)
pnumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis (noun) a fatal didease contracted by inhaling microscopic particles of volcanic ash, silicon, or coal dust. Also known as black lung disease or miner’s lung.
sesquipidalionist (adj.) a person who used big words. see sesquipidalionism (noun)
phoenix, what’s with you and quoting the dictionary? it’s a very strange habit
I wasn’t quoting, I was just making it up. But yes, it is a strange habit. I am a strange person.
hey i always thought the second one was spelled pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. did u spell it wrong or am i completely off?
Ebeth,
You’re right: Phoenix left out an “e.”
When I was in fifth grade, I wrote a pneumono(etc.) song to the tune of “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” from “Mary Poppins”:
–Robert
woohoo!!! *claps, cheers, shouts, yells, high-pitched shrieks, fainting fangirls* lol! that’s soooo funny…I have to send that to my friend (cuz she won’t come on here grrr) she’ll love that. is it patented? i’m guessing not…
wow i haven’t seen mary poppins in about a million years…maybe i’ll watch it again if dad ever gets the vcr hooked up (hinthint dad if you ever come on here)
oopsies. sorry. nice song, Mr. Administrator!
halitosis is bad breath. this i happen to know
does anyone know what a zytherary is? it’s a real word, I swear
anyone?
Those are even funnier than the others!!! I don’t guess you’ll even read this, but hey, why not post a random comment about How-Tos written by some random person with a long title? What else is there to life? Okay, I’m rambling now. Oh, I have a funny story!!! Go to October Surprise if you want to see it.
What happend to my “Freaky” post?!!!?? Where did it go?!!?? Are you MAP’s playing a dirty trick on me, or what?!!?
To the October Surprise, and away!!!!!!!
I want more!!!!!!!!!!