October 2005 (volume 9, number 8 )
In keeping with age-old Muse tradition, the editors have filled this issue with creepy stuff.
COVER: How to Read a Tombstone
FIRST PAGE: Wonder Drug
KOKOPELLI & COMPANY: Trick and/or treat.
ARTICLES AND COLUMNS:
Sweet Elixir of Death, by Paul Collins
The Case of the Four-Armed Corpse, by Stephanie Pain
Sent to the Tower, by Paul Baker
How to Read a Tombstone, by Douglas Keister
Q & A, by Robert Coontz and Rosanne Spector: How do birds chirp?
Math Page, by Ivars Peterson: Sudoku Mania
LAST PAGE: Designed by the Desert? [Egyptian pyramids and Sphinx]
ok that’s just cruel and unusual punishment. It’s bad enough sitting around waiting for the mag when you don’t know what’s on it, but to sit here and read awesome creepy titles and see a paul baker article and NOT HAVE THE STUPID MAG ALREADY??!!!! I protest! Why did I click the fatal link?? Woe to my insane desires to read spoilers even though I hate them!!!! (you don’t have to post this, just making a point here. A rather useless point, seeing as the problem’s been fixed by me deciding to actually read the word spoilers and stay away, but oh well. Wow, you guys should start keeping a record of how much time I waste sending you things that have no purpose. This is fun! I should do this more often! If you start getting random emails full of pie and pointless ramblings IT’S NOT ME! *ahem*
ebeth, please send an email full of pie!
where should I send it? to you specifically, or to the general muse email, or is there a specific museblog email, or just everybody individually??
oh yes, what’s your fav. flavor? decisions decisions… where’s koko when you need him?
I’ll get them if you send them as a comment to museblog. My favorite kind is olallieberry. I also like banana custard a lot. Think of what koko could do with that combination!
*evil chuckles commencing shortly. sorry for the wait*
mwahahahaha.
you mean like a comment here? or to the webmaster thingy? oh vell i’ll do both. *ahem*
doorbell: *dingdong*
fed-ex guy: hello! *puts a box down*
Rosanne Spector: *Rosanne Spector comes over* ooh! wonder what this is! *opens the box* wow! an olallieberry and banana custard pie!!! hooray!!!
*ominous music starts. the room grows dark. the seemingly empty box starts to shake*
*drumroll…..pop!!! Kokopelli has arrived*
R.S: h-hello??
Koko: IT IS I, THE GREAT KOKOPELLI! MUSE OF TUNES AND TRICKS! AND…..*dramatic pause* pies.
hahahahhahaha!!!!
*SPLAT*
R.S: AAAHH!!! AAAH!!! AAH….mm this is good!
******************
btw, what’s olallieberry?
Hmmm….inarticulate. Try to have your evil laugh a bit more grating and harsh. I know it’s not the real representation of the laugh, but I can’t help but critique it.
R.S: AAAHH!!! AAAH!!! AAH!!!
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
*R.S. looks around after finally clearing the pie from her eyes*
Koko, you’re still here. Thanks for the pie!
*R.S. runs over to Kokopelli to offer him a handful of banana custard*
Koko: I PREFER OLALLIEBERRY
*Koko vanishes just as R.S. skids across the pie covered floor and crashes into the closed door.*
Olallieberries look like blackberries but they’ve got a little bit of raspberry thrown into their flavor. Genetically they’re a mix between blackberries and raspberries.
I just got the issue today. yay.
I thought the sudoku article was cool, since I’ve been doing them ever since we got back from CA this year in July where they had them in the newspaper and Mom’s been printing them out every day (and doing some online) and then doing them during my various activities..
Tambien, me gusta la primera pagina “Wonder Drug”.. and the rest of the magazine..
Quien aqui puede hablar un lenguage que no es ingles? Que lenguages puedes hablar? Can anyone here speak a language that isn’t English? what languages do you speak? Est-ce qu’il y a quel qu’n (sp?) ici qui parle lengue que n’est pas anglais? Que langues parles-tu?
If you haven’t figured it out by the above paragraph, I speak Spanish, French and a little bit of Welsh. (as well as English)
wow that’s cool. I only speak english, but i’m taking latin this year. my teacher’s kind of….erm…yah but everybody says stick with it cuz the latin 2 teacher’s cool. Right now I can say interesting things like…um…the girl sits. exciting. puella sedet. amazing. wow. ok sarcasm engine turning off now.
hey that post has nothing to do w/the october issue! quick…think of something…heh…um…nevermindg2greallyfastparentalunitsalertcodered
Hablo un poco de español (aprendo español dos en escuela), pero no hablo otras linguas. I speak a little Spanish (I’m taking Spanish two at school) but I don’t speak other languages. I can swear in French, Yiddish, and Russian.. I don’t think that counts, though. I’d like to learn French and Japanese and a lot of other languages. I’m also taking Latin 1 at school, and I know a little..
(did I do the Spanish correctly?)
wow your name is lizzie, which i think is short for elizabeth, which is my name, and you’re taking latin 1, and you like the beatles, and you’re a muser…so which one of us came out through the black hole from a parallel universe anyway? lol! that’s really weird. ok pretty random comment…
needs some more insanity though…hmm…
EAT YOUR WEETABIX!! AND SPAM!!! WEETABIX AND SPAM! SPAM AND WEETABIX!!! WEETASPAM!! SPAMABIX!!! HOT-PINK BUNNIES!!! CHOKLIT!!! GREEN AND PURPLE PIGEONS!!! BLUE COCONUTS!!!
ok wow that was random. yes i’m veeery hyper right now. oh yah lizzie, how exactly to you swear in french, yiddish, and russian? or is that completely inappropriate? unless nobody speaks french, yiddish, or russian? how old is everybody on this site anyway? does swearing in other languages count as swearing on and english/elvish/esperanto site? (no i don’t have the esperanto issue-i wish i did though. i read the article online. very cool.) ok confoosed. going now
Yeah, it’s short for Elizabeth. I’m named after my great-grandmother.
See, my friend is taking French, and I have another friend who is Russian, and so they just sort of taught me how… But I swear very little, so it doesn’t really matter..
The tower… as in THE TOWER OF LONDON?! I NEED MY MUSE NNNOOOOOWWWW!
yes, as in the Tower of London, complete with a poster that I haven’t taken out and looked at yet because I can’t figure out how to undo the staples and still have the rest of the magazine intact and I don’t just want to tear it out because then it would have holes in the middle..
Lizzie,
You can bend the ends of the staples straight up (with your fingernails if they’re strong enough, or with needlenosed pliers) and lift the poster out of the magazine. Then you can refold it, replace it through the same holes, and bend them down again.
–Robert
ebeth, I speak Hebrew. But I am not allowed to say nasty words even in a dif. lauguage, so the best insults available to me in Hebrew are atah golem (you, male, have no brain), at golem (you, female, have no brain), at/atah tipshan/tipshanit (you, male/female, respectively, are stupid), also a nemala is an ant, shamen/shamena (male/female) means fat, ha’roash shelach/shelcha hee m’eaven (your male/female head is made of stone) ani t’heyeh sameach iim pil yoshev al h’roash shelcha/shelach (I will be happy if an elephant sits on your male/female head), etc.
take note that in my writing, the word on the immediate left side of the / refers to a male, and on the right, to a female. also, if you want to say, for example, “you are a/n (animal)”
pil=elephant
achbar=mouse
nemala=ant
tz’vardeah=frog
par=cow
you just ad at beforehand for a girl, atah for a boy.
hope you found that useful. A Hebrew launguage guide will NEVER teach you that!
wow very cool! at par bo!
haha i’m gonna go insult my brother in hebrew now. it will be sooo funny! wheeeee!!! (I used to do that in elvish, but he eventually found out what language I was speaking and started looking up whatever I said.
it’s not as fun when he knows what I’m saying.))
woah, double parentheses! are those allowed? or proper grammar, or whatever. oh vell, you know what they mean.
grr…i always feel guilty posting comments that have nothing to do w/ the subject. Which would mean I would spend an hour praising the wonderful oct. issue of the best mag ever…except that i still don’t have it. (i think i’ll get it tomarrow though
) arrgh…oh vell. nov/dec should come on time. oh yah, what’s up w/ the combined month issue thing?? you expect us to go for two months w/o a muse??? I protest!!!! That’s it, I’m coming to the muse office RIGHT NOW!!! I shall not stop my fight till each one of you lies dead!!
…..
erm, maybe that’s a bit extreme. *ahem* um…*shuffles notes* where was I? oh yes, anyhoo, not cool, you guys should make it a muse a month. Actually a muse a week would be nice too….
ok all protesting over for now cuz you guys are cool and I don’t want to have you all run away in terror (if you haven’t already-i mean those nice little posts could be written by robots who are immune to the extreme damage such insanity can cause-after all, we are musers. Crazy musers. Insane musers. Actually by now I’m convinced that all musers are insane. At least the obssessed ones. But insanity is cool and froody and should be a required subject in school.)
ok going now. another loooooooong post. why do I write such insanely long comments? maybe I should do a psychological study on myself. anyhoo, later!
actualy, since Bo is a girl, itwould be Bo, at parah. Sorry. Also, I am a dedicated Muser and I am certainly crazy.
Is bo a girl? heh. whoops. sorry bo-the-girl! Hey can somebody make like a list or something that tells you which of the muses are guys and which are girls? cuz i get confused like that.
Ebeth,
See the Muse FAQs.
–Robert
ooooooh ok thanks!
Yo hablo un poco de espanol (I can’t do accents here), pero mi profesora es muy incompetenta (see what I mean?), he zhong wen. (I really wish I could do accents. Can I?) I used to speak French but then I forgot. I want to learn Elvish (Sindarin preferably so I can come up with better names in my fanfics.) Anybody have a good site?
Translation (literal): I speak a little of Spanish (I can’t do accents here), but my teacher is very incompetent (see what I mean?), and Chinese. (this could mean something else if I put different accents on it, but I mean that I speak Chinese) The rest is in English.
I LOVE MANGROVES! Does anybody else even know what a mangrove is (lots of people just back away slowly going ‘huh?’)? I will post the answer if you people can’t figure it out, but I find that Google is very useful for this sort of thing. Or if you already know, tell me. I would be most delighted. MANGROVES, CHOCOLATE, AND RANDOMNESS FOREVER! AND MUSE! AND GIANT PANDAS! AND FANFIC! AND THOSE SONS OF SILLY PEOPLE WHO KEEP GIVING ME SUGAR!
YO RANDOMROHANFREAK!! HAVE SOME SUGAR!!!!
mwahahahaha….
my muse hasn’t come yet!!! I feel sad…:-(
*cries*
I WANNA READ THE PAUL BAKER!!!!!!!!! (and everything else too of course but at least i can be sad about that w/out going completely crazy) BUT YOU PUT IN A PAUL BAKER AND THEN I DON’T HAVE IT AND NOW I’M GOING CRAZY AND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!!! WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
actually never mind…being insane is kinda fun.
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!
I still want my muse though…
I GOT IT! Yay, the tower of london was just as cool as I thought!
Good for you, Phoebe! You deserve for all the patience you put into the b-day message for TOPFOT, and the Ha Ha message for me!
hey phoebe do u do all that by hand? or do u copy+paste? excuse me
*goes off and smacks her mad-lib obssessed brother on the head. He shuts up. I wish. actually he’s still over here rambling on as if I’m listening to him. Anyhoo*
I gots my muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse. I’m really haaaaaaappy. tomb-reading coooooooooooool. National treasure soundtrack running through my heeeeeaaaaad when i read that.
Why are we still writing about this when everyone probably already has thier muse?
Hey Ebeth/Lurker, congrats on getting your muse!!!!!!!
Oh no… insanity coming upon me… just so you know I will start rambling on in a second…
NOOOOOOOO not the hammer!!!!!!!!! …
* I know where you live*…
(shriek)
not the ax!!!!!!!!!!!!!! …
* I’m going to find you*…
nooooooo not the knife!!!!!!!!!!
* and then I’ll … ummmm… hang on
* oh yeah!!
*and then I’ll invite you over for dinner!!…
really?
*NO!!!!! I’m going to EAT you!!!!!!!!…
… normalness returning…
Sorry insane moment there
-Krissy the Ruler of the Earth and all who live there
insanity is cool. and we’re still talking about this cuz we’re crazy musers. that’s what we do, is talk. and talk. and talk. and post. clickyclickyclicky.
okok i admit it, i’m procrastinating. i’ll go ramble on about nothing in the procrastination thread now…
I know insanity is cool that’s y i’m a muser!!!!! Talking is cool!!! My friend in Maryland and I talk on the amazing device called the email all the time. once I used the email so much my computer shut off!!!!!!!!
I read the procrastination thread already and I agree about Ohio personally!!! Read on…
Helloooooooooooo? Anyone there?
yoohoo? anyone home?
hello?
yo what up?
OH! oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh, oh….YO!