For times when someone else’s words are better than yours.
Continued from Quotations, 2010.2.
Patience, Please
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For times when someone else’s words are better than yours.
Continued from Quotations, 2010.2.
Mystery quotation:
“I’m tired of trying to do something worthwhile for the human race, they simply don’t want to change!”
The guy who made the Dvorak keyboard. (I did cheat using Google…)
Yes. Dvorak.
(Dvorak is awesome! New World Symphony!)
While I agree, wrong Dvorak.
“There’s one thing a quote does that nothing and no one else can do… it can become a part of you. You may never meet the person who said it but that person is now a companion. Quotes help you get over pain, feel love, make you smile and laugh, and helps you through those though tough days when you think that no one knows what you’re going through.”
Some quotes from my summer camp:
“FIGHT THE MAN!!!”- B, as he’s hitting his bunk with a broom :/
The LITs (leaders in training) played a prank on us one night where they banged on the walls and dragged my counselor Kyle out the door. Naturally, we freaked out. Here was B’s reaction:
*back door opens*
B (panicky voice)- “Kyle? Could you close the door?”
Kyle- *closes door* *goes back to bed*
*door opens again*
B (even more panicky voice)- “Kyle? I’m coming to your bunk!”
Oh, and I almost forgot:
H: Avatar is the best movie on the planet. Except for maybe Dear John and The Last Song.
“People sneer contemptuously and say ‘You’re the greatest science fiction writer alive and you’ve never seen a rocket launching’.”
“Do they really do that?”
“Sneer contemptuously?”
“No, say that I am the greatest science fiction writer alive.” -Isaac Asimov
“If you don’t laugh when you say guacamole, you’re probably pronouncing it wrong.” – Poster I saw today
“Clear skies and gelato. What else could you want?” – Victoria
“Roger Chaffee does not sparkle!”- Codename Sunshine
Kirk: You. Help us or die.
Klingon: I do not deserve to live.
Kirk: Fine, I’ll kill you later.
LATER
Kirk: Mr Chekov, take the prisoner below.
Klingon: Wait! You said you would kill me.
Kirk: I lied.
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.
“I am a serious and dignified mathematician.” – a very cute mentor (who was cracking up as she said this)
“Time flies like an arrow: fruit flies like a banana.” – Groucho Marx
This is all one continuous conversation we had, while wath=ching a really old Superman movie. XD
Me- “I’m sorry, I was trying to be Michael Jackson, but I cracked my toes and fell over.
Lola(L)- It doesn’t matter if you’re Black or White. OH. WAIT. I have to do this. *smashes hat into stomach and hops around continuously*
Me- Superman is having an epic conversation.
L- Why did you throw my hat over there?
Me- It looks like a Penguin to me! ((Cookies if you get that.))
L- You’re a Penguin.
Me- You’re creepy.
L- Old fashioned Zombie!
Maria- ULGHHHHH.
Me- Shut up.
L- [Keiffer], were you saying something– Hey, HEY! Bad girl, bad bad BAD!
L- What was that?! EWW!!
Me- Look, a twitching guy!
L- Hey, there’s a big light in the sky! And it made me laugh!
Me- *makes Light Saber noises* *rubs eyes*
L- Warpy screaming people.
Me- Shut up.
L- He’s… naked…
Me- Superman’s baby spaceship isn’t supposed to look like that!
Me- Smash.
L- It was Lois! He’s being burned. He just threw a rocket.
Me- Shh!
L- It looks like a javelin.
Me- Look, there’ s the twitching guy again!
L and EVIL DUDE- FREEZE!
*Superman theme song plays*
Me- DUN DUN DUNNNN.
L- I wish I had Tonks in my pocket!
Me- NO.
Dude on Screen- Lex Luthor Scheme “BOMBS.” Superman Saves Nation.
Lois- *draws classes, coat, and hat on a picture of Superman*
*smiles suspiciously at Clark Kent*
*hints that Clark is Superman*
*jumps out window*
*lands in watermelon cart*
“Why is Keiffer so awesome?!”
-Me
I saw the thing about Michael Jackson, and I automatically thought of Plants V.S. Zombies, and the thing about zombies confirmed it.
“[Keiffer’s so awesome] because Keiffer is my blobling!” -Me
Me: “Let’s go through each part of the day and rate them 1-10.”
Kate: “Yeah okay! So how big was Nym’s face?”
Me: “What?”
Kate: “I don’t know, I don’t know…”
“Is it progress if a cannibal uses a fork?” –Stainslaw Lec
“‘Darling,’ you said, ‘We’re a trainwreck.’
‘Sweetheart,’ I said, ‘Trainwrecks always make the front page.'” –Unknown
Thanks.
“You know what we’re going to be at the Halloween party this year? I’m going to be a plant, and he’s going to be a zombie, and we’re going to stick ourselves together with a giant V.S so we can be Plants V.S Zombies.” Elise, talking about her and her husband Dan’s Halloween costumes that they were going to wear for the local comic book store’s Comic Geek Halloween party. That was the year that my whole family were super-heroes, and we won the best costume contest.
Awesome!
OMG. That would be epic.
XD
Which superhero were you?
Oh… I was really pathetic looking. I was Hawkgirl, and I had an orange cast and a pink, yes, hot-pink, cast because I recently broke both my arms. (I was nine.)
My Mom: Big Barda.
My Dad: Mr. Miracle.
My Older Sister: Zatanna.
My Little Sister: Flash. (Wally West.)
Sorry, Mr. GAPA Robert, for being so incredibly late in answering you.
Plants vs. Zombies would be wonderful. (Beat Adventure recently…)
“Everybody has a secret world inside of them. All of the people of the world, I mean everybody. No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside them they’ve all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds. Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe.”
– The Sandman, by Neil Gaiman
“I know that [J], I’ve died before!”
-Me (J is my brother). I made sense in context, and I was being completely truthful.
How was that? Was it a game or something?
Yes
“I know. I should get a life. The trouble is, I HAVE a life. I just like efficient kitchen equipment. And badgers. I like badgers.”
– Paul Baker
Sweetness.
“(Thomas Edison) was a scumbum.”- My Applied Physics Professor.
“Trial first. Then execution.” -Ser Lyn Corbray, A Game of Thrones
I’m just reading this series. Well, I read the first book and half of the second, but I had to stop for a while. I’ll hopefully start again soon though.
It won’t hurt to wait a while longer. The author is infamous for taking a long time between books, and he still has three to go.
Have you met Dolorous Edd yet? He’s probably the most quotable character in the books. I should post up some Eddisms…
_
(for context, they’re standing in a thoroughly miserable hovel with some dirty straw in one corner for a bed)
“What a dismal place to live.” -Jon Snow
“I was born in a house much like this. Those were my enchanted years. Later I fell on hard times. I’d give all the gold in Casterly Rock to sleep in a bed again.” -Dolorous Edd
“You call that a bed?” -JS
“If it’s softer than the ground and has a roof over it, I call it a bed.” -DE
_
“We’ll defend the Wall to the last man!” -Cotter Pyke
“Probably me.” -Dolorous Edd
_
“When the wildlings knocked him off the Bridge of Skulls, somehow he landed in a nice deep pool of water. How lucky was that, missing all those rocks?” -Dolorous Edd
“Was it a long fall? Did landing in the pool of water save his life?” -Samwell Tarly (I think)
“No. He was dead already, from the axe in his head.” -DE
_
(in the middle of a wight attack)
“Sam, would you please wake me up? I am having this terrible nightmare.” -Dolorous Edd
_
“When I was young we only ate rats on holidays. I was the youngest, so I always got the tail. There’s no meat on the tail.” -Dolorous Edd
That last quotation reminds me of Jim Clark, who was the administrative director of the MFA Writing program when I was there. He could spin the most outrageous tales without getting caught at it — until the end, by which time you were already well hooked.
One day he was describing what life was like growing up poor and being envious of the kids with cool, store-bought toys. There’s no way I could do his story justice, imitate the deliberate, circuitous delivery, or the hangdog look that shepherded it home, so I’ll just note that it ended up with his grandfather making him a toy by punching a hole in the wing of a dead bat and tying it to a stick with a string so that Jim could whirl it around in the air.
Wow. I wish I could meet him now.
“Don’t move or the dog gets it.”
-my roomie at camp, referring to the stuffed wolf he had gotten at the campus store and initiating our friend’s love affair with Roger (and later Dodger, the one I got)
“Nice one, Burp.”
“Did you just call me Burp?”
-my sister and I (she never thinks while she’s talking..)
“HOW DARE YOU SAY MY BRAIN DOES NOT TASTE GOOD? DID YOU TRY IT WITH TABASCO?”
“That’s actually a very good idea. Where’s the Tabasco sauce?”
*hands sauce* “Here you go!”
*pretends to eat* “That tastes much better. Almost as good as that one time on Raxicoricofallepetorious.”
“What about the time on Klom?”
-me and a friend
“Be a Time Lord, Ginger! You can do it! Be a Time Lord!”
“…what?”
-Me and Ginger, while playing mini-golfing, which I am surprisingly good at.
“THAT IS HOW YOU PLAY MINIGOLF! DID YOU SEE THAT? IT BOUNCED OUT AND THEN IT BOUNCED BACK IN AND STRAIGHT INTO THE HOLE!”
-me, hyper and ninja while playing mini-golf; I hit it too hard, and it bounced over the boundaries, then it bounced off a rock and back inside the boundaries and straight into the hole.
“I come from the planet Gallifrey.”
-Ginger’s nose function- she says that if you push her nose.
“Bonjour!”
*cracks up laughing* *pushes button*
“Hello. What’s so funny about me speaking French?”
-me and Ginger discovering my nose function- it’s a toggle button that makes me speak French. Ginger never lets me get past saying “Bonjour”, though. She always double-pushes my nose. XD
“Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing!”
-my sister bunny-hopping down the stairs backwards
The minigolf- I one time when I was really young got a hole in one on a part with a bunch of poles. I hit the ball really hard, it bounced perfectly off three holes and straight into the hole.
All from the blog LightThisCandle:
“Shepard says he’s ‘delighted’ to be chosen for the program, in a tone of voice where ‘delighted’ means ‘I want to kill you all with a machete.'”
“Is [Shepard] responsible for shooting phantom smoke clouds with his mind? It seems like something he could do.”
“He randomly yells at him ‘HOW OLD ARE YOU, MITCHELL?’ It’s about as awkward as it sounds.”
“I am more charming than all these losers COMBINED MUAHAHA.â€
“If you get motion sickness easily, then be careful when you watch this video, because the camera jerks around a lot. You’d think that NASA hired the Blair Witch [sic, the witch isn’t the one doing the filming in that movie, her victims are] to film the press conference.”
My brother: “Ay!”
Me: “B!”
My brother: “C!”
and on and on…
(My brother yelled because I poked him.)
My brother: “I have no idea!”
Me: “I know you don’t have any bunnies! But do you know where it is?”
(Just my habit of trying to bring MBer humor into everything.)
“When adults say, “Teenagers think they are invincible” with that sly, stupid smile on their faces, they don’t know how right they are. We need never be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broken. We think that we are invincible because we are. We cannot be born, and we cannot die. Like all energy, we can only change shapes and sizes and manifestations. They forget that when they get old. They get scared of losing and failing. But that part of us greater than the sum of our parts cannot begin and cannot end, and so it cannot fail.” -John Green
“You are very afraid. Because your roommates have gone insane. It’s not that you’re afraid that they’ll kill you, or start to smear their feces around the walls. You’re more afraid of being left out. Soon they’ll start to do things that only insane people can do together. You hope very much to go insane very soon. Because the only thing worse than going insane alone, is having all your friends go insane without you.” -classmate in arts camp
“last night i awoke with a poem
stuck between my teeth
it was juicy like raw meat and oh so
upbeat
i hopped on the street
and before i knew it my feet
were rollin’ and my soles
unfoldin’ the cement
and i had no time to lement
yesterday cuz the future
was on my way
so we converged in time
and our footbeats made
perfect rhymes” -other arts camp classmate, fantastic slam poet
“(Code name Thalia) comes from a magical fantasy county called Mendocino where you can be an artist and not have to sell body parts on eBay for money. She is photosynthetic, which allows her to simultaneously promote vegetarianism and skip meals in orer to write things. She hopes that when she grows up she can be a fairy princess, but there’s always college if that doesn’t work out. -awesome arts camp friend
It’s time for a themed collection of quotes. Today’s theme: adolescence.
“Don’t laugh at a youth for his affectations; he is only trying on one face after another to find a face of his own.”
— Logan Pearsall Smith
“The teenager seems to have replaced the Communist as the appropriate target for public controversy and foreboding.”
— Edgar Friedenberg
“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.”
— Mark Twain
“You don’t have to suffer to be a poet. Adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.”
— John Ciardi
“Adolescents are not monsters. They are just people trying to learn how to make it among the adults in the world, who are probably not so sure themselves.”
— Virginia Satir
“I have always had a sense that we are all pretty much alone in life, particularly in adolescence.”
— Robert Cormier
“Adolescence is a new birth, for the higher and more completely human traits are now born.”
— G. Stanley Hall
“Summer isn’t a season, it’s just a heat wave.” Me, complaining about the weather.
“No, quick, run over that guy while he’s standing frozen in the headlights!” -me
“I’m trying.” -My mom, who was driving.
“But aren’t you not allowed to drive on the sidewalk?” -Maria
“Yes. *doesn’t run over deer-guy*” -mom
More from LightThisCandle:
“It is a CAVALCADE of pure, unadulterated awkwardness.
And you get to watch it on Youtube!”
“Shepard vacillates between laughing at random things to Scary Laser Beam Death Glare. It’s awesome.”
“General Flickinger is wearing tinted eyeglasses. Indoors. Truly a fashion pioneer.”
“He says it in a tone of voice that implies, ‘Because I asked your MOM about it this weekend.'”
“We’ll laugh at your next joke, we promise! Even if it’s about Vermonters!”
“The next reporter asks, ‘What is your motivation?’ Implying, ‘Because we KNOW that y’alls is crazy.'”
“Get out of my head!”
-Me, while repeatedly butting my head into a wall to try to dislodge the song steadfastly stuck in it.
“Some people say they have memories like cameras. My memory is more like a video camera and an audio recorder.”
-Me (It’s true. I remember thing like video clips, and on hearing something interesting or poetic, I will remember how it sounded perfectly.)
“It’s the weird facepalm that makes them look like they’re saying, ‘Oh hello we’re dead’.” – Taxi to the Terminal Zone
These quotes are all from Portal
”Where are you going? Are you coming back? Oh, that thing has numbers on it!
Sorry, that was the Curiosity Core
“Well, you found me. Congratulations. Was it worth it? Because, despite your violent behavior, the only thing you’ve managed to break so far is my heart. Maybe you could settle for that, and we’ll just call it a day. But I guess we both know that isn’t going to happen. Now I have a surprise for you. Deploying surprise in 5… 4… 3… 2…”
“We were even going to throw a party for you. A big party. All your friends were going to be invited to it. We even invited your best friend, the Weighted Companion Cube. But he couldn’t come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn’t come either, because you don’t have any other friends. That’s because you’re such an unlikable person. I have your personell file right here. It says “Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikable loner who shall not be mourned. SHALL NOT BE MOURNED. It also says you are adopted, so that’s funny too.”
-GLaDOS.
Enceladus, you’re murdering the Portal quotes!
“Well you found me, congratulations. Was it worth it? Because despite your violent behavior, the only thing you’ve managed to break so far is my heart. Maybe you could settle for that, and we’ll just call it a day. I guess we both know that isn’t going to happen. You chose this path, now I have a surprise for you. Deploying surprise in 5… 4… 3…”
“There was even going to be a party for you. A big party, that all your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend, the Companion Cube. Of course, he couldn’t come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn’t come either because you don’t have any other friends because of how unlikeable you are. It says so right here on your Personnel File. ‘Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikable loner who shall not be mourned. SHALL NOT BE MOURNED’ That’s exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted, so that’s funny too.”
I bolded your mistake in the first one, but didn’t bother with the second because there were too many mistakes to bold.
Oh dear, I misquoted! The horror! It should be: “A bitter, unlikeable loner who’s passing shall not be mourned.”
Heehee, you misquoted while pointing out a misquote. (Just pointing out that we’re all human.)
Or, have been for some part of our life, at least. Hopefully.
And while we’re at it, that should be “whose passing.”
Sorry, I get them by listening to the game. And then using the faulty storage device known as my brain.
Enc – Sorry, I have a brain like an audio recorder. I remember the way she said, in her voice down accenting. When I type though, my fingers distract me from the recording in my brain.
Sudo’s second post – You don’t know how right you are. (Though I assure you I am currently in possesion of a human anatomy, and was never mechanical like GLaDOS.)
Ah, you see, whenever I say the quotes out loud, I say them differently, different intonations, tone. But my often works like a recorder at least, for music.
I said nearly the exact same thing to my sister yesterday. o.O
From LightThisCandle:
“Because if there’s ever a time when you need caffeine to stay awake, it’s when you’re attached to THE TOP OF A GIANT BALLISTIC MISSILE.”
“What was the 1950s version of ‘That’s what she said’?”
“You see, NASA stands for National A**-KICKING Space Administration, thank you very much.”
“Yelling out, to a room full of strangers, ‘SWALLOWING A RUBBER TUBE, FOR GASTRIC ANALYSIS,’ is never good.”
“Did you really dream of playing basketball since you were seven? Because I heard that back then YOU REALLY LIKED FOOSBALL INSTEAD, YOU FILTHY LIAR.â€
“Buck Rogers was for LOOOO-SERRRRRS.â€
From Courtknee:
“Tiny song birds help him tie his tie in the morning.”
This one’s from Bunny Apocalypse, The Next Generation Part 8:
“Extreme boredom when the bunnies are about to break in and kill us? I bet that bag is always empty”
-Errata
These are not from BA:
“Stop killing my elephant!”
-Me, yelling at Crazyalien18 (my brother), who was repeatedly squishing my rubber elephant.
Me: “Who names their cat Asparagus?”
My stepmom: “Uh, your dad probably would.”
Hugmonster (my brother): “What were his cats’ names, again?”
Me: “Madame Underfoot Eats Butter, and Patch Compile Crash Repeat.”
(Those were the actual names of the cats. The whole thing started with me contemplating the song “Gus the Theater Cat”
My younger brother’s fourth-grade teacher had a cat named Stewy C Superchunk Mr. Lips Mooncat Marshmallow What’s Up Buddy.
I have been quoted? I’m honored.
Don’t think that’s ever happened before. Maybe in real life, but not on MB.
– 27.1 OK, that’s worse.
– 27.2 It was funny, and highly quotable!
Last quote:
Good grief…
“Please stop peeling the table”
A teacher at an art camp I’m at.
Is it sad that this makes sense to me?
It makes sense to me too…I do the same thing to my computer desk if by ‘peeling’ they mean ‘ripping away the varnish’.
Nope, people were pulling sticky paper that had been put on the table to hide the beautiful artwork (Read: Paint and glue spills) that was there.
Peeling tables are fun.
And tables, like broccoli stems, are made much more palatable by being peeled. You don’t know creative cuisine until you’ve tasted gently steamed tabletop with curry-hollandaise sauce…
28- …wow. Um.
Ginger’s Mom: We’re a restaraunt now! Would you like your checks?
Ginger: Can I have some water?
GM: I’m sorry, we’ve run out of water.
Ginger: How can you run out of such a plentiful resource?
GM: (to Ginger’s dad) They won’t pay their bills!
Ginger: How can you run out of water?
GM: They won’t pay their bills and this young lady is demanding water!
GD: They don’t have any money!
Ginger: Yes we do.
Me: In our hearts.
Ginger: Our hearts?
Me: ‘Cause our hearts are made of gold.
Ginger: Ah. (to GD) You can have our hearts, although I don’t know if you want to go through the surgical procedures and so on.
GD: ….right.
Me: *pokes Ginger’s nose*
Ginger: I come from the planet Gallifrey. *pokes my nose*
Me: Bonjour. Ca va?
Nanny (movie character): Oh my heavens.. Have you seen May anywhere?
Ginger: *laughing* At least she didn’t say oh my goodness.
Me: *snickers*
Random character: Still no sign of May.
Nanny: Oh my goodness. Maaaaay, where are you?
Me: *bursts out laughing at the look on Ginger’s face*
Ginger: You knew that was coming, didn’t you.
Me: *nods* *laughs harder*
Ginger: You meanie!
Wow. You have some interesting conversations.
I had to reread that first bit, because I kept thinking of “GM” as “Game Master”…
My brother’s friend said that one time he was at KFC and they were out of chicken! (Yes, that is not especially related, but…)
I had the opportunity to say “Je suis un pamplemousse” to a native French speaker!!! There’s a French dude in my kendo class, G, who is very nice.
Me: Hey, G, isn’t pamplemousse French for grapefruit?
G: Yes, pamplemousse.
Me: Am I pronouncing it right?
G: Yep. Are you learning French?
Me: French I.
G: Can you say anything in French yet?
Me: Je suis un pamplemousse.
G: Je suis un pamplemousse? *repeats*
Me: Oui, je suis un pamplemouuse.
G: That doesn’t mean anything!
Me: Je suis un pamplemousse. I am a grapefruit!
G: …I think you should be using a different textbook.
Love it! That made my morning!
Yay! I made someone’s morning!
JE SUIS UN PAMPLEMOUSSE!
I told that to my ELA teacher. She just laughed.
Student: “I’m going to the library until the election is over.”
Blogger: “If it’s like 2000, you could be in there a while.”
– the blog Overheard at Yale Divinity School.
I quite like this mini-conversation that happened at my lunch table a while ago.
C: Why are you two always so snarky?
Me: Sometimes we have to be snarky!
S: You wouldn’t understand.
C: That sounded awfully condescending.
Me: It’s okay, he’s always like that. [pause] You wouldn’t understand.
“So I’m sure that someone, somewhere is bowing down to a rubix cube.”
-Me
I read that the first time as : “someone, somewhere is bowling a rubix cube.”
“Why even put books someplace where you can’t read them!? That sounds cruel and unusual.” – Courtknee.
I had this conversation with my 13 year old cousin:
Me: “Harrison, how many letters are in your name?”
Harrison: “Seven.”
Me: “Isn’t it eight?”
Harrison: “No, it’s seven. See? H-A-R-R- Wait…”
It turns out he had assumed he had seven letters in his name his entire life. XD I love my cousins.
-33.1 That would be interesting, but I don’t think it would roll very well.
-35 That sounds like me. Untill I was 11, I thought my first and last names together had 13 letters, but they actually have 16.
“I could never understand why Gandpapa made his mansion out of marble. It was like a mausoleum with lots of bedrooms and bathrooms.”
-James, from Pokemon Johto Journeys
Memorable quotations from my trip to Baxter:
“Aieee! Shark!”
-me
“Grab my paw!”
-my bff
“That’s your flipper.”
-me
“Oh, sniffly whiskers.”
-unknown
My dad walked into the post office on the night of July 20th, 2007 and had this conversation with the lady at the counter:
Dad: Hi, I ordered something that I know is already at the post office, and I was wondering if I could pick it up now.
Lady: Sure! May I ask what this package is?
D: Oh, just a book.
L: *smirks* Oh, that. I’m sorry, those books are locked in a vault that only the postmaster can open.
D: *is disappointed*
Guests: “3.99 for the bowl of water!? I thought it was complimentary!”
British concierge: “Yes it’s complimentary, it compliments the room.”
Some hotel commercial I like.
From conversations with my online friends, all but the last one are part of an ongoing story involving (obviously) a pteranodon.
“GET THE D*** PTERODACTYL OUT OF THE KITCHEN!â€
“1) Cry (in a manly fashion but with puppy dog eyes)”
“YOU GUYS! It’s the Beatles and they’re being chased by a horde of screaming fans! It’s our duty as Boy Scouts/Americans/gentlemen to rescue our British brethren in their time of distress!â€
“Pants Captain Jack while Ed grabs Spotty and runs.”
“Hey, Geeeeene, my pteranodon ate your socks…”
“The Classic 19 and the Quest for An Artifact Yet to Be Determinedâ€
My dad was playing Left For Dead 2 with voice chat. This is what I heard of at one point.
“That’s how you get rid of small third-world countries.”
*listens to response*
“Now, that’s how you get rid of large third-world countries.”
Does anyone still remember Beavo’s quote about government forms (the one with the cows) and could someone repost it?
bookgirl:
You can find Beavo’s cow-themed summary of different governmental/economic systems here:
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=1606#comment-273200
Wow. That’s hilarious!
Ha, I remember that.
“Obama has agreed with the muslim race these passed couple of weeks and the muslims are goin to be building a mosk (a muslim church) next to GROUND ZERO where they knocked down our twin tours. And on the sign of the church its goin to say in the muslim language “WE CONQUERED”. That just tells u there that Obama is a MUSLIM. . I think we should nuke them all over there and turn there air green. Comment if u agree.”
–Some random idiot on Facebook
*headdesk headdesk headdesk*
Doesn’t en just have the most lovely spelling and grammar?
*headwall* Here’s a new idea: collect a dollar for every case of slander against Obama. Suddenly deficits won’t be a problem anymore.
*nearly concusses self from facepalming* I had to keep re-reading that because my brain was pointing out every major typo. I hate people like that! Stupid, racist, self-rightous idiots.
SFTDP I meant spelling error, not typo. Sorry. There is no way you can spell somethng that badly as a typo and not catch it.
Ouch. That is just painful to read. My brain hurts now.
Ooohh…*headdesk*
So we have a self-righteous, racist guy who can’t spell?
Or somebody who is pretending to be like that to annoy you.
I examined the other areas of his profile page and highly, highly doubt he’s the sort of person who would be that clever or sardonic.
Mystery quote:
“(Character) had been dead for several hours. But he was starting to feel better.”
“I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?”
-My friend EMC
I think the capitalization of that sentence interferes with my sensibilities.”
~Me
School quotes from today:
Biology-
Me: “I think it pooped in my hand.”
Lab Partner: “Yeah, this one peed on mine.”
Me: “These things pee more than my rat did!”
LP: “OK. more information I didn’t need to know.”
Classmate: “I don’t believe in moles!”
Me: “Then you don’t believe in earthworms!”
Geometry-
Teacher: “Who writes Us like that?”
Teacher’s Helper: “Um, everybody.”
Me: “And capital Ks are symmertrical, so hah!”
Me: “Zero and infinity seem intricately linked.”
English-
Teacher: “Devil, I mean, Angel!”
(We really do have a kid in class named Angel)
Last class-
Me: “And I went there to check my email, and I saw his picture and I thought he was a woman.”
Classmate: *laughs* ” You thought Michael Jackson was a woman? Well, he did kind of look like one.”
Teacher: “Well, that was the style back then.”
“This show is called ‘Lightning!’ and it features lots of lightning. So, if you happen to be afraid of lightning… this is a great time to go check out our new exhibit on George Washington Carver right through those doors and to the left!”
“Don’t worry, I’m a scientist. (Off to the side) Never trust a scientist.”
“This is the Museum of Science, not the Museum of Take-My-Word-For-It.” -Aaron, the museum guy hosting the show Lightning! at the Boston Museum of Science.
J (An online friend of mine, name changed to protect): “Have you ever smelled burning human hair or skin?”
Me: “Yes. Once.”
J: “Um, okay…”
Me: “Don’t worry, it was my own.”
Me: “It probably didn’t help your anxiety that I just said that.”
“It will say it’s not launching and you guys will freak out and I’ll have to get out my toolbox and fix the Internet again.’
– my awesome history teacher.
“I love thingamajigs. Also whatchamacallits.”
-my cousin’s usual response to the word “thingamajigs”
Mystery quotes:
“Marvin, any ideas?”
“I have a million ideas. They all point to certain death.”
“Thanks very much, Marv!”
“Dreams… they feel real while we’re in them, right? It’s only when you wake up that you realize something was actually strange.”
Mystery quote 2 is from Inception. Just saw that movie and loved it.
Inception = Win
Mystery quote 1 sounds a bit like HG2G, but I don’t remember it from the book. The movie maybe?
Also, Inception=EPIC WIN.
INCEPTION SPOILER THAT SOME PEOPLE WON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND BUT I’LL PUT A SPOILER WARNING ANYWAY
“You’re waiting for a train. A train that will take you far away. You know where you hope this train will take you, but you can’t be sure. But it doesn’t matter – because we’ll be together.”
The dream one is really true. I have the weirdest dreams and they all seem like they’re happening until you wake up and realize you were dreaming. And my alarm clock noise shows up in my dreams, like it’s the ice cream truck bell, or maybe a ticking bomb. I’m weird like that.
“Do you think the shark is washable?”
-my mom
“The shark is clean now!”
-my mom
“The shark shrank in the wash?!?!”
-my sister
“Go to the bathroom and smile.”
-my mom
“You killed the internet?!?!”
-me
“It’s a square. And that’s another square.”
“They overlap?”
“Yup.”
“Do they have to be in any particular place?”
*thinks* “Well, they can’t be off of the screen.”
“Whyever not?”
“Because.. then they wouldn’t be on the screen.”
“Obviously.”
-Dad and I
“It’s my sixpack! I mean… three-layers. Of cake.”
-my mom
An old school quote in a 7th grade class-register (???Hope I translated it right): “(Name) will not cease singing in class”.
Unknown source:
“I want the people to know… that they still have two out of three branches of government working for them, and that ain’t bad.”
Fun fact – did you know that there is actually a fourth “branch” (they’re actually called “institutions”) of government in America?
“But this looks like he shot a tablecloth.” – gizmo-key
“You and your John Young poopie clones!” – Me
“Because they’re ace predators, but they’re also cute and cuddly!” – Erin
“I’ve never had alien gum before!” – Erin
“And here we have the labyrinth guards. One always lies, one always tells the truth, and one stabs people who ask tricky questions.”
-xkcd
“So, one day you’re parking your camel, whenyou have a belly moment.”
-My bellydance teacher
Belly dancing? o.o SICK!
“I swear they just said to him “dance around oddly in the background here” and he had to make all of it up. o.O”
-me (It made a little more sense in context…)
What were you talking about?
*laughs* The guy on stilts in les chemins. Pretty much what he got to do in the show was say stuff in a made-up language (and a really deep voice), and dance around spazodically. Which automatically looked awesome, because any dancing is awesome when said dancer is on three-foot-high stilts… but, I saw the show very near the end of the run. I’ve seen some YouTube vids of the beginning of the run, and, well, he was not that great. It really didn’t look like they did any choreography with him besides, well, saying “dance around oddly in the background here,” and he had to make all of it up. XD
“So we blew him up. It was fun stuff.”- My history teacher. It’s a long story…
Mystery quote time!
#1. “You can’t go taking liberties like this; I’m a respectable citizen!”
#2. “I can do anything with no permission. I have it all under my command, because I can guide a missile by satellite…”
#3. “Oh well. No use prevaricating about the bush.”
#4. “If the person you are talking to doesn’t appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.â€
#5. “When the morning comes it doesn’t seem to say an awful lot to me…”
HINTS: Two of these quotes are from the same place. Two of these quotes are from songs. These hints may overlap, and they may not.
#4: -Edward Bear (Winnie-the-Pooh), Winnie-the-Pooh
You are correct, sir!
I ♥ Pooh.
I’m so immature.
Very late response, but I just realized #2 is from the song “Handlebars” by Flobots. Also, #1 is from Wallace and Gromit, but I’m not sure which one. haven’t seen any in a long time.
“YOU’RE her boyfriend!”
“o yea i forgot ha ha lol”
— FB chat conversation I had with a popular girl’s boyfriend.
Sophomore: I finished my Spanish homework!
Me: Congratulations! We are all impressed by how much you won!
Sophomore: That’s a good little froshling.
Me: Sarcasm self-test complete.
This happened at Yale durring a lunch period where I was talking to an Iranian Girl (IG) about our classes. She was taking a class on literature and politics or something like that.
Me: “Well, there were a lot of American works produced in the 50s that protested McCarthyism.”
IG: “Exactly!”
Me: “Like Arthur Miller’s ‘The Crucible’. We did that in school this year-”
IG: *nods*
Me: “-and ‘Invasion of the Body Snatchers’!”
IG:
Me: *takes two Traumeels (the hippie equivalent of aspirin, for those of you who don’t know)*
My friend: “What happened to you?”
Me: “Uh… my boyfriend hit me on the head with a stick yesterday.”
My little sister: “Your BOYFRIEND? …Well, that’s okay, I want you to marry him anyway!” (She seems to equate dating with imminent marriage…. I have no idea why she wants me to marry J, it’s not like she’s ever even met him, only seen him on stage….)
My mom: “Yeah, it’s only their second date and already he’s beating her up!”
Me: *facepalm* “It was a joke….”
(No, J and I are not boyfriend and girlfriend! We are not dating, though we did hang out together. He did hit me on the head with a stick, though…. we were stick fencing. XD)
Some quotes from school:
“So if you need help, look forward, look back. Find one of the blue boxes.”
-My Spanish teacher. He was talking about our textbook. The second sentence isn’t exact, but he said something about blue boxes. I was stifling a laugh the whole time.
“It’s one of the cool things about this book- we can argue about it.”
-My English teacher. We did, in fact, spend most of class arguing. Lots of fun.
*A man says something about them being a couple of freak show shrinks*.
Cal Lightman: “No, she’s the shrink, I’m the freak show. Sorry, we usually wear labels.”
-Lie to Me
Mystery quote:
“Look on the bright side, partner: You’re a wanted man either way.”
“Thanks, Tychus.”
“I could kill him! I will rip out his esophagus and -”
-Worf
“I suspect my airplane seat mate has not bathed in many months and has likely never brushed his teeth.” – Scott Kelly. (It’s less funny if you know he was talking about a dog.)
Mr. B: “Ooh – so maybe we’re all related?”
J: (somewhat quietly) “That would be a lot of incest.”
*a third of the class just completely cracks up*
-AP Bio
My dad: “It take long, it’s just just revisions.”
Me: “That’s what they said about the Constitutional Convention!”
Me: “You know what I mean? One of those ‘I’m an airline pilot!’ hats?”
Did I really type that? It’s supposed to be:
“It won’t take long, it’s just revisions.”
…Whoa… XD
I’ve done stuff just as bad as that before, though. I once wrote ‘I s’pose you’ in a chat with a friend when I meant to type ‘I s’pose’. -_-
These are from me.
“You mean a spork, not a sfork!”
“You don’t need a spork to eat your brain!”
“There is no E in pi!”
“It made sense in the nonsensical context.”
“There is nothing weirder than finding out one of your favorite candy bars is made of cornflakes, except realising that you hadn’t already figured it out!”
Everything makes sense in nonsensical context-except sense, of course.
(In a chat:)
My friend: What’s up?
Me: Not much.
I’m just stuck in the hold of an airplane with my back sewed up with an extension cord, internal bleeding, my legs digitalized, a computer virus lodged in my left pinky, and apparently nobody removed the keyboard cable from my nose…. *pulls it out*
My friend: But other than that, not much?
Me: Right.
(Don’t ask. It’s a long story. But never, ever, ever ask electros to be your doctor.)
“Disregard the random B, please.” -Keiffer
“Lo! A capital letter!” -electros
“It’s hard to sing in a Scottish accent!” -my mom
“I wish I could kick myself in the head…” -me
“Matkchria Churtvf!” -um…. Moha-Samedi? (I am totally going to use that as a swearword now. If I can just figure out how to pronounce it… (I mean use Matkchria Churtvf. Not Moha-Samedi. That would be mean.))
I’ve been quoted! *highfives*
Me: “That’s not pirate! That’s…Scottish…I think…”
My Dad (Still in fake accent): “Kind of. It’s also kind of constipated.”
Haha my friend said exactly the same thing about my Scottish accent.
Weird…
“I need a fedora. Don’t I need a fedora?”
-Me
“IloveyouIhateyouI’mterrified…”
-My friend, impersonating L from Death Note, somewhat loosely(essentially his relationship with everyone especially Light)
“There are no such thing as vampires.” -an annoying classmate
“We’ll see if you still think that when my fangs puncture your neck and all the blood is drained from from your body.” -my friend the vampire
“Are you guys depressed or something?”-another annoying person, after an argument with Shinigami
“Oh, I’m not depressed. If it looks like I am, it’s only because I’m having trouble flying.”-me
“*stunned into silence for 10 very long seconds*”-the person
Sigh. I love weirding people out.
[Talking about conservative, evangelical, Christians during the Reagan era]
“…the constitution should be treated the same way as the Bible”-The radio, NPR
“Burn them both!”-Me
I understand what you meant, but you’re probably going to get some pretty severe backlash on this one.
Guys, let’s please not turn the Quotations thread into an argument again.
Does sort of agreeing with this make me a bad Catholic?
Yes, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
Transubstantiation?
Burn the Constitution?
(while eating a caramel apple) “This food is problematic.”
–Me, just now, to myself
<3
“Wha-ho! Problematic.”
-Strong Bad
“Where in Middle-Earth are we?” -Gimli
Sam: Martin! I love you!
Martin: Um, okay!
Sam: (singing) Don’t go breaking my heart…
Martin: I won’t.
Sam: That’s it? You’re not going to break into harmony? **** you, Martin!
Martin: I didn’t know you wanted me to! You should have given me some kind of warning!
Sam: I was singing! Come one, Jake, let’s go into the barn and listen to Phineas and Ferb music.
Jake: *jumps off bench like superhero* *follows Sam*
-Some kids at my school.
“Experience dance toni-i-ight!”
-Strong Bad
“There is no greater bore than perfection.”
-Richard Connell
Both overheard in school hallways today:
(on mobile phone) “No more farting in class!”
“Don’t forget your Witamin Water!” (Chekov goes to my school?!?)
“Luckily, we can take matters into our own hands, and it won’t cost us six bucks a bag…”
-Good Eats
Mystery quote:
“He punched my shark!”
Despicable Me! I love that movie!
I’M A SHARK!
*punch*
*gasp* “He punched my shark…”
Me too! “IT’S SO FLUFFY I’M GONNA DIE!”
“We’ve got to warn him, and fast!!” …
Mystery quote:
“Join me in my single hundred toilet dreams picture…”
“…everybody everybody scam some sweet bucks OR potential pizza! Oh! OH! Umm… nevermind…”
“If you want to get the measure of a man, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.”
-Sirius Black
“Oh, sniffly whiskers.”
-me
“Cows.”
-A friend
“Yo-d’ladle hoo ladles! The very best ladle money can buy!”
-a different friend
On the subject of cows, my friend Caitlin has a rubber cow about the size of a whole walnut. The conversation:
Caitlin: I have a COW!! Wanna see it??
Me: Umm, sure…
Caitlin: Okay I’ll be right back. *runs off to locker* *comes back with cow*
Me: Cool.
Caitlin: IT POOPS! *squeezes cow* *brownish sac inflates from hole in rear end*
Me: Lovely…
“Fall is my favorite month.”
-Me, just now.
“You could make a career out of scaring small children, and you don’t. I’m so disappointed!”
-Me, addressing my uncle. He draws in a way reminiscent of Clive Barker. They’re terrifying and awesome.
“No tounges allowed in the dishwasher”-my mom talking to the dog.
“Right, before this thing starts generating whales and petunias, I’m dragging the card table into a little store cupboard at the back of the Hare and Hedgepig, and locking the door.”
-Paul Baker
Mystery Quote:
“Being normal is vastly overrated.”
Halloweentown?
Some trailer quotes after seeing Legend of the Guardians:
“I love you, Metro Man!”
“And I love you, random citizen!”
“Oh – I’m shaking in my custom baby seal leather boots!”
“The spider’s new.”
-Megamind trailer
“Hi.”
*she scoffs*
“Look, I didn’t want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice – here comes the smolder…”
*he looks down and then looks up with a puppy-dog-esque face*
*she hesitates and looks at the lizard on her shoulder, he punches his fist into his hand*
“I could learn to love this view… Yep, I love it. Boys, I want a castle.”
“Who are they?”
“They don’t like me!”
“Who are they?”
“Let’s just assume for the moment that everyone here doesn’t like me!”
“Go. Live your dream.”
“I will.”
“Your dream stinks. I was talkin’ to her.”
-Tangled trailers
“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Owls.”
“Owls who?”
“That’s right. Owls hoo.”
“It’s hilawious!”
“You look so sad under your happy mask!”- One of my friends today. She’s such a nice person.
These are from my D&D group today
“And his only vunerability was bananas.”
-Guy at my D&D group talking about a chartacter in something called “The Marvel Superheros Roleplay.”
Me “So you made a glowing stone duck?”
Guy Playing Warlock: “Yes.”
Me: “Then I’ll move forward here.”
Guy Playing Warforged: “Great idea, using the warlock as a shield. I’m sure drycleaning will get the bloodstains out.”
Me: “Yeah, it takes a special kind of person to be hit by a wall.”
Guy Playing Ranged Dude: “Hey, it was a lucky shot!”
SFTDP I just finished reading a book called Everlost, and there are some memorable quotes.
“That’s Pinhead,” corrected the boy. “Pea-brain works in the engine room.”
“The McGill trusted no one but himself, and even then, he was often suspicious of his own motives.”
“It was an insulting suggestion. It was preposterous. It was true.”
I love that book!
“And when people are fat and happy they aren’t starting revolutions.”
-My substitute history teacher, explaining “bread and circuses”
“It’s Schrodinger’s Doorway!”
-Me. I was talking about a room in a comic my friend is writing. When it is open, the room is normal, but when it is closed, time stops.
Okay, here’s part of a conversation I had with somebody. We were counting.
Her: SURE
Lets count.
1
me: 2
Her: 3
me: 4
Her: 5
me: 6
Her: 7
me: 8
Her: 9
me: 10
Her: 11
me: 12
Her: 13
me: 14
Her: 15
me: 16
Her: 17
me: 18
Her: 19
me: 20
Her: 21
21\3
AUGH
I MESSED UP.
me: Ohnoes!
Her: 1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
0
me: 1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
1
GAK
Her: boooooooooooom
me: 1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
Her: 3
4
me: 1
Her: 5
6
7
8
9
0
11
12
13
me: Gah.
Her: 14
15
16
17
me: 179
Her: AUGH
me: 189
199
209
219
219219219219219
((I had no intention of that 219.))
My sophomore history teacher: “And what do people do when they don’t have enough food?”
Some kid in the class: “They start eating each other!”
My sophomore history teacher: “Um, they revolt first.”
See, I would have said “They get hungry.” Seems obvious.
93.1- It is! It is Schrodinger’s Doorway!â€
95- Both opinions depend on the circumstances. I like your classmate’s answer better.
95.1- “‘The thing about the obvious,’ said Miss Level, ‘is that it so often isn’t.'”
–A Hat Full of Sky, by Terry Pratchet
OH I LOVE A HAT FULL OF SKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! although wintersmith is definently the best in the series….
Actually, I don’t like it as much. I mean, Roland: Knight in Shining Armor? Is that serious? Then again, I’m known (even to myself) for my abject dislike of soppyness. And for a Discworld book, there was a surprising amount of it. Of course, for a romance-themed story, it was brilliant. Considering the author, it would be hard for it to be otherwise.
Not-Very-Mysterious-At-All Quote:
“It’s eyes are as big as soup plates. Eleven inches. I measured.”
(Sorry if I misquoted, I haven’t read that book in a long while.”
Me (to my brother): “The only way for you someone’s dead, [J], is for him to let them die.”
(Yes, it did make sense in context.)
Sorry, I forgot one.
Alton on Good Eats (talking about bunnies): “They’re taking over the world! I say, eat them before they eat us!”
*normal colored bunny puppet starts shaking with head in paws*
Alton: “Aww, did I scare de widdle bunny wabbit?”
*bunny attacks Alton*
*Alton screams and runs away*
I personally thought that was a score, even if the bunny wasn’t pink.
Not sure about the source, but are they talking about a Giant Squid?
I’m sorry, but that isn’t even close. They weren’t talking about a “real” creature. Actually, I think the direct quote refers to said creature as a she, but I’m not certain. Hint: It’s fantasy. And it’s not random.
Oh, dear! I misquoted myself! What I said was, “The only way for you to steal someone’s dead…” Sorry.
Tiffany Aching, referring to that monster she whacked with a frying pan. What was it, Jenny Green-Teeth?
Completely correct! From The Wee Free Men by Terry Pratchet.
Mystery Quotes:
“What did she say?”
“She hit me on the head with the rock again.”
“I think I can confirm that that was my daughter.”
“Sweet kid.”
“You have to get to know her.”
“She eases up, does she?”
“No, but you get a better sense of when to duck.”
“That’s your solution? Have a cookie?”
“No. My solution is to run down to the beach and bury my head in the sand until this is all over. But a cookie never hurts.”
First one’s from… So Long and Thanks for All the Fish or Mostly Harmless. No idea about the second.
“… and I’ll ask him if I should bring a gun to shoot (name).”
“Why don’t you just ask to bring a crowbar? It’s much less violent.”
“How is a crowbar less violent?”
“To pry her away.”
“Oh. I thought you meant to beat her to death with.”
*facepalm*
“I think we should just get rid of the ball and just beat each other up with hockey sticks!”
“It says to talk about the importance of friendship and love in a book or film.”
“DEATH NOTE.”
“Awesome!”
…
“Wait, Light doesn’t have many friends, does he?”
“And he doesn’t love Misa-Misa either.”
“Drat. I’ll stick to the cat then.”
“A cat isn’t a value.” (this is from my french test essay)
-Mostly me and some kids from my homeroom.
“I can’t imagine a world without Light!”
“Yes, that would be dark.”
“Pants off dance off. RIGHT NOW.”
“It’s always the trumpets. They never listen.”
-My band teacher
“I have heard the yowl of a bunny. It is scarring.”
-a friend in Bio
“I guess talking to the Embry Riddle representative after getting a 69 on a Math test is like showing interest in dairy farming after finding out you’re lactose intolerant.”
“There is a time for subtlety and there is a time for strobe lights, smoke machines, and Also Sprach Zarathustra.”
-Both me.
“So, recently someone uplinked this photo to youtube…” ~ My band director
I love when middle-aged people have no idea what vocabulary goes with what technology, it’s adorable.
Well, not every middle-aged adult has the advantage of moderating MuseBlog.
Sad but true. It’s a privileged few.
Scene: My friend’s trampoline. I am jumping up and down on it, frantically flapping my arms.
Her: …what are you doing?
Me: *puff* *flap* Proving there’s a fifth dimension, of course! *flap* *puff*
Person In English Class #1, Booktalking An IRB: “So this book is the sort of book for people who are tired of weird, Twilighty stuff that just isn’t very good.”
Person In English Class #2, Booktalking An IRB: “If you want a light, fluffy read like Twilight, don’t read this book. If you want a book that’s actually halfway decent, do read this book.”
Person In English Class #3, Booktalking An IRB: “This book is a lot more mature than the kind of stuff you’d find in, oh, Twilight. It actually deals with serious issues and makes you think about more than hot guys. I seriously recommend it.”
Person In English Class #4, Booktalking An IRB: “This is the book that got made into the TV show True Blood! It has vampires in it! I love vampires. When I picked up this book, I wanted to read it because it has vampires and I loved the vampires in Twilight. I love Twilight.”
Me: *strangles #4*
umm……..
Can I hug you?
*huggle*
Enc, what’s your name? You bear a strange resemblance to a person I know.
What’s an IRB?
Independent Reading Book. We’re required to book-talk one per semester.
I would hug you, but I don’t like hugs. Can I mutilate the corpse?
” And then they started exploring Greenland, because that’s fun. And very cold.”
-Clare de Lune, in history class.
“The lock was opened by the POWER OF LOVE!”
-Me. My friend L had part of the lock on her locker broken off, so it’s really hard to open. C, L and I had all tried to open it and failed. C then left, saying she would get lunch and meet us there. I gave L a(unhelpful) hug as she was trying to open the lock again. This time, it worked.
SFTDP, but no one’s posted in a while.
“Jazz isn’t dead, it just smells funny.”
-Frank Zappa
“All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff.”
…
“You can’t always write a chord ugly enough to say what you want to say, so sometimes you have to rely on a giraffe filled with whipped cream.â€
…
Interviewer: “So, Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?”
FZ: “You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table?”
…
…
…
I love Frank Zappa.
“It’s like fighting with Yoda’s angry cousin.”
-My dad, fighting goblins in Gothic Four
My brother: “Your Android’s GPS voice sounds like-”
Me: “-Stephen Hawking’s sister in need of a cough drop.”
That’s disturbing. Can you change it?
I don’t know.
“Radioactive chicken pizza- with worms!”
-One of my crazy friends
“Moral: Aesop is good on paper.”
–Flight
“Typo alert: ‘he shot the car door’ is not the same as ‘he shut the car door’.” -Kevin J. Anderson
….rotflol
All from my friend Erin:
“NOTE: This fictitious story is written entirely for comic purposes. It follows no laws of physics, logic, or even its own rules. Please ignore the multiple plot holes and areas where the story makes no sense, and merely enjoy the humorous portions, and skip the stupid ones if you decide to take that course of action.”
“Hey Nick! When your phone lights up and makes that ringing noise, most of the time it means someone wants to talk to you!”
“Never underestimate the power of fangirls.”
“They left it there knowing we would know they would know we would figure it out! And we did, so we should do the opposite of what they want you to do when they know we know they know we figured it out!”
“Oh My Tilikum!”
“When asked for a quote, they replied, ‘Shamu is our god, we do his bidding until the end of time.'”
“This program is brought to you by NASA-brand hats. Indestructible space hats for the whole family.”
“I LOVE watching the most frightening moments of my life again and again in HD!”
“I’m not leaving! This is the weirdest thing ever!”
“Oh, that’s easy. Don’t you all know how to fight brute force?”
“With peace, and sensible discussions?”
“Of course not! You fight back with brute force and create an epic battle scene!”
More from my old Stephanie Stone stories…
Note from bad guy: “I will steal the Eraznab Diamond during the Meeting and there is nothing that you fools can do about it!â€
Stephanie: “Short and to the point, I guess.”
(Later, when asked for an analysis of the note): “This is very obvious, but the ‘you fools’ and exclamation point show that the thief is confident that we can’t stop him/her.”
“The Discovery Room smelled like kindergarten, which is a good smell.”
“Thank goodness for my infallible memory.”
“The president put down the first stone set down the first stone of this museum in 1874.”
(Beat)
“Back then, presidents were not as busy.”
“If you don’t know what DNA is, maybe you shouldn’t be reading this story.”
“It IS the Twenty-First Century, you know.”
“All great ideas get a few funny looks.”
“Do not jump to conclusions, do not jump to conclusions, do not jump to conclusions…â€
“This wasn’t just about some creep stealing an important object from a museum. This was about some creep stealing a reportedly cursed and potentially dangerous object from a museum.”
“The best learning happens while laughing.”
“If Exona was speaking her true feelings about me, they’d be too dirty to print here.”
“ ‘Nyet’ is Russian for ‘NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
“… it looked pretty eerie. Of course, when you’re chasing a ghost through vacant, dim hallways, everything looks eerie.”
(The next three are Steph insulting Dr. Exona, the thief)
“Hey, Ms. Exona, you should serve soda- because you’re already a jerk!â€
“You’re so dumb that you sent a mood ring to Venus de Milo!â€
“Did you really write that note in ink or just the brain fluid leaking out of your head?â€
Ghosts, talking about visiting a museum: “Well, we don’t pay admission, but at least we don’t scuff up the floors.”
One-armed ghost, shaking hands with Stephanie: “In over 170 years, do you know how few people have gotten that correctly?â€
Little kid: “You’re the youngest teacher I’ve ever had. How old are you?â€
Stephanie (cute, baby talk voice): “THAT is one of the four questions you should never ask people.â€
Professor C: “Give them their daily dose of ‘wow’.â€
Stephanie: “What?â€
Professor C: “‘Wow’. It’s very important for a healthy mind, and science is very high in ‘wow’.â€
Professor C: “How could it be that they were able to explain if they hadn’t been taught?â€
Stephanie, narrating: “That didn’t sound like the pizza guy.”
Sandy: “Should you resist, I have the right to turn you into a cockroach.â€
Dr. Dryson, detailing Exona’s punishment: “Clean all of the bird droppings off the roof, wash the windows, then re-seal them, sweep the floors, scrub the toilets, dust the dioramas, and do my taxes. By then, you’ll need to start all over again with the roof.”
Mrs. W during American Gov: “Jenna, you must know I have the utmost respect for you. You’re fired.”
D during Bio: “CrickWatson – WatsonCrick! (after he did this for a while) Crickwat’sinyourwallet?”
“Crickwatsonyourwallet?”
Genius.
“When adults say, “Teenagers think they are invincible” with that sly, stupid smile on their faces, they don’t know how right they are. We need never be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broken. We think that we are invincible because we are. We cannot be born, and we cannot die. Like all energy, we can only change shapes and sizes and manifestations. They forget that when they get old. They get scared of losing and failing. But that part of us greater than the sum of our parts cannot begin and cannot end, and so it cannot fail.”
-John Green, because he’s awesome.
You’ve already posted that on this thread…
Oh. Oh really? *reddens* Sorry. Was inspired by John Green-related talk on Books & Reading.
I love John Green so much. You can’t even understand how much I would love to meet and then marry him.
“Do you know the biggest lesson I learned from what you did? We’re a lot alike, you and I. You tested me; I tested you. You killed me; I- oh no, wait. I guess I haven’t killed you yet.
Food for thought…”
-Portal 2
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to
DIE
-Inigo the awesome.
I LOVE that movie. ♥
Me llamo Inigo Montoya. Tú mataste a mi padre. Preparate a morir.
(It actually sounds way more awesome in Spanish aloud. Try it!)
Saying that to my Spanish teacher tomorrow. if he laughs, my day will have been made.
The last sentence, though, I believe, if I may use so many parenthetical additions, perhaps, maybe, most likely, would more accurately be: “Prepárate para morir.”
Not sure. but I think it is a morir, not para morir.
It’s not.
In any case, I think I’d use “usted” forms in that situation.
I don’t know, a bit of informality might add a little jab of insult to it.
Unless you’re in Mexico,in which case you’d just get weird looks.
How so?
Sorry, had a moment. It doesn’t make a difference unless you’re talking to more than one person
And incidentally, it would’ve held true for any Spanish-speaking country, not just Mexico.
On Facebook, I have a picture that writes the quote in Latin. You’re right, it does sound more awesome in different languages.
“Inconceivable!”
“I do not think that word means what you think it means.”
“My way’s not very sportsman-like.”
I don’t even excercise.
“Listen, if you two don’t go away, I’ll call the brute squad on you.”
“I’m on the brute squad.”
“You ARE the brute squad.”
Ahh, true love. Theres nothing better… except for a nice MLT where the mutton is nice and lean, and.. oh right.
“Are you Miracle Max who used to work for the King?”
“That was years ago, before the King’s stupid son fired me. And thanks for bringing up such a painful subject. Why don’t you give me a nice papercut and pour lemon juice all over it. Oh and by the way, WE’RE CLOSED!”
Humperdinck, Humperdinck, Humperdi-i-i-inck!!
No, not true love. Wuv, twoo wuv! Like a dweam within a dweam!
Mawidge. Mawidge is what bwings us together today.
“No more rhymes now, I mean it!”
“Anybody want a peanut?”
“For me, quitting is like giving up.”
-Adrian Monk
(My brother P says something about a lightbulb being “on the roof” when he meant to say “on the ceiling”)
My brother J: Ha ha!
Me: Do you know how a lightbulb would stay on the roof, P?
My brother P: How?
Me: TRADITION!
Yes!
Mystery quote:
“He reads expressions on a face I don’t have.” (hint: character who says this means it literally)
A guy in my class (T): “Were you there 13 years ago when we all died?”
Me:”Oh yeah! That car accident, right? A metal pole went straight through my stomach.”
T: “We’ve got to do that again sometime!”
Me: “We so do!”
T: “Let’s die again this weekend!”
ME: “Okay! We should go bungee jumping, but smash our brains out instead.”
T:” Yes, that would be so epic!”
Me: “Awesome! See you there!”
T: “Tell all your friends that you’re going over to their house and then don’t show up.”
Don’t even ask me what we were doing, because I have no idea…
Female Friend: “So what was the spork’s name?”
Me: “I don’t know! She doesn’t tell me the names of most of her children!”
FF: “I think it was Bob.”
Me: “Yeah, that’s it! His name was Bob!”
Male Friend: “I have a brother named Bob.”
Me: Your brother’s a spork! Wait….” *turns to FF* “That means he’s your brother!”
(This made sense in context. The context even made sense. What didn’t make sense was the backstory to the context.)
Friend : *quotes Shakespeare*
Me: “That didn’t sound British! That just sounded pompous… And a little dumb… no offense.”
Friend: *is not offended* “Well, Shakespeare is pompous and a little dumb.”
Both: *crack up laughing*
(My friend was trying to fake a British accent.)
Bart, stop pestering Satan!
-Marge Simpson
Erin: “I bet we could find ghosts here.”
Me: “If you can find ghosts here, you can find ME not here!”
“You must figure out the rules so you can break them properly.”
-The Dalai Lama, as quoted to me by Ryan the saxophonist.
EXTREMELY MAJOR SPOILERS FOR MOON FOLLOW. IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN IT, AND PLAN TO SEE IT EVENTUALLY, DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER OR IT WILL BE FOREVER SPOILED FOR YOU.
Now that I’ve got that out of the way, I just saw the movie for the second time. It is one of the best sci-fi movies of the past decade, and the first R-rated movie my parents have let me watch. If you didn’t see that warning up there, by the way, this movie will be spoiled for you if you even watch anything after the first half hour. So, if you don’t want it spoiled, STOP READING NOW.
Note: all language will be replaced with cake.
Sam: So, GERTY tells me you’re Sam Bell. *pause* I’m Sam Bell too. Got that going for us.
Sam: I’M SAM CAKING BELL! ME!
Sam: We’re not programs, GERTY. We’re people.
…and that’s all the quotes I can think of right now.
From a “Funniest Overheard Conversations at Disney World” thread on another site:
Little Girl (crying): Grandma, I’m scared of the flush!
Grandma: Oh, honey, don’t be scared, it’s just an automatic flush.
LG: It’s what?
Grandma: It’s automatic.
LG: It’s magic?
Grandma: It’s automatic.
LG: It’s magic?
Grandma: No, it’s (enunciating carefully) aut-o-MAT-ic
LG: It’s magic?
Grandma (finally cluing in to the fact that this was going to work in her favor): That’s right, honey, it’s MAGIC.
“I was walking around brooklyn when these cool guys drove by, they said “we’re looking for a good time baby, wanna ride?” I flashed my biggest smile, I said “hey, sounds like fun.” Then I flash my armpit hair. They turn. They run.”
– An amazing friend of mine.
Good for your friend.
“Impersonating a deity is against my programming!”
*C-3PO
“I heard that it started when a bloke called Archie Duke shot an ostrich because he was hungry.”
-Baldrick
Mystery quote:
Character 1: I mean, this isn’t frame dragging or wormhole magic, this is basic mechanics and heat 101.
Character 2: This is not mechanics and heat.
And from the same movie:
Same Character 1: If you ditch work this afternoon, and promise to do the few small things I ask you, I will in return show you the most important thing that any living organism has ever witnessed.
COME ON! GUESS! This is such an MB movie, it’s not even funny!
Does ANYONE know the answer?
PRIMER.
I love this movie! I think it intimidates people though- if you’re going to watch it, expect to only understand the central concept towards the end. Then plan on watching it one, maybe two more times. I think I’ve seen it five times?
“Man, are you hungry? I haven’t eaten since later this afternoon.”
YES.
MINOR PRIMER SPOILERS FOLLOW WHICH YOU WON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND AS SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE MOVIE.
“She think there are rats in the attic.”
“You can’t have anorgy with just two people.” -my mom
One from Leviathan:
Deryn: “Hey all you sods! I can fly and you can’t! A natural airman, in case you hadn’t noticed. And in conclusion, I’d like to add that I’m a girl and you can all get stuffed!”
Two from Durarara!
Simon: “Even on 50% off days, we don’t serve humans in our dishes.”
Izaya: “Just because I like humans doesn’t mean I like you personally.”
This was my study hall…my friends are…um…
Seems like she overreacted a little there.
The true DM simply smiles quietly and adds a couple of Fiendish Dire Lions to her plans for the next session.
Yes. Yes, she did.
…although, to be fair, she had a really bad day…
“Ad-libbing an exorcism makes about as much sense as ad-libbing surgery.”- Erin.
“What were you trying to do? Murder the floor with your face?”
-A character I made up for no particular reason
Me: “Get your cheese grater off the moon!”
NekotheAmazingNinja: “But it’s got some pretty darn good cheese up there. The mice keep attacking me from all over.”
Me: “You own the moon?!?”
NAN: “Yep!”
Me: “Aw man, now I gotta pay you rent!”
NAN: “That’s right, hand it over!”
Me: “I don’t have it right now. I’ll bring it tomorrow.”
NAN: “My assassin is staring at you.”
Me: “Tell him it’s OK to shoot me.”
NAN: “But then I won’t be able to get the money!”
Me: “Just loot my corpse!”
My stepmother: “She’s broke.”
Me: “Shh! You’re not supposed to tell her that!”
“The next Harry Potter movie could be 10 seconds long and drawn with stick figures, and it would still make millions of dollars.”-my dad
No it wouldn’t.
I had a quote, but I forgot it. I’ll put this one instead.
“I like a man who dives. Any fish can swim at the surface.”
-Herman Melville
It’s not as good.
Yes it would. OK, maybe those millions of dollars would only be midnight sales, but they would still make a huge profit.
I’d watch it.
I would probably pay to attend a Harry Potter movie that was 10 seconds long and drawn with stick figures.
Excuse me, I’m off to make my first million.
“But that’s not the big question. See, you’re missing the big question.”
“Okay, what’s the big question?”
“Will you have a drink with me?”
“I’m sorry?”
“Drink? You, me? Now?”
“Aren’t you on duty, Detective Inspector Shipton?”
“Nope! Knocked off before I left. Told ’em I had a family crisis.”
“Why?”
“Because life is short and you are hot. Drink?”
-Blink, s3ep10, DW.
“Opals are the ravers of the gem world.” – Erin
“That looks forgotten, and possibly somewhere we might not be allowed to go, so naturally, we have to check it out.” – Me
“You can’t get tired of Mike Massimino! It’s not like he’s Justin Beiber or something!” – Erin
“I’m not going near the squid without a good reason.” – Me
“Yay geology!” – Both of us
Erin: “Oooh, there’s an orb in my picture! Maybe there’s something paranormal going on!”
Me: “Or maybe your camera’s dusty.”
Erin: “Yeah, or that.”
“Just because you have a M.A. Ed. doesn’t mean you know how to use a comma.” –Me, fussing at a book in which the author wrote: “It would be impossible, and simply impractical [ , ] to cover the multitude of…”
*sigh*
It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.
–Albus Dumbledore
Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.
– Voltaire
“Don’t call me small! I’ll cut your legs off and stick them on your head!”
-Edward Elric(although I don’t remember exactly where, but he says that sort of thng a lot)
“The storm had now definitely abated, and what thunder there was now grumbled over more distant hills, like a man saying ‘And another thing…’ twenty minutes after admitting he’s lost the argument.”
-Douglas Adams
Some kid in another classroom that had its door open: “We landed on the moon!”
Me, thinking: “In other news, Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.”
“The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive.”
— John Green (Looking for Alaska)
Okay, please tell me you guys read this book. What do you think about this quote? I don’t think I necessarily agree with it, but what is the way out of suffering? Buddhism says that it’s not wanting stuff, if I remember correctly. Christianity says it’s being good and believing in Jesus, right? (This is actually pretty pathetic that I don’t know. How many years have I taken religious education in my church? I guess you don’t learn what you don’t want anything to do with.)
But how can you stop suffering? I think it varies from person to person, right? There aren’t any real laws that explain all human actions, right?
I think this might belong in philosophy.
The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to find your way out of the labyrinth.
What does Green mean by “the labyrinth of suffering”? All suffering, or a particular kind? Is he laying down a general rule, or giving advice to someone in a specific situation? Context is important here.
I’m pretty sure the labyrinth of suffering is just life.
Buddhism always seemed a little morbid to me. But I totally dig the entire attitude they all have.
-A
Warning: This post contains some major spoilers from “Looking for Alaska” (and a song, not from said book, but I’m not known for my great singing voice). Read at own peril.
Let it be, let it be
let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be
And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, let it be
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,
there will be an answer, let it be
Let it be, let it be…
Okay, okay, I’ll stop now. I didn’t like the book; I read it because a friend told me that it would be “more exciting” than the one with the Catherines and “somebody dies”. About after the second half, I kept praying that it wouldn’t be Alaska because otherwise what’s-his-face-interchangable-narrator-guy would mope for ages. Somehow I don’t really connect to the characters so well…
Anyway, I think that quote is from after Alaska dies and narrator is suffering because he feels responsible somehow (survivor’s guilt?). He may be sad, but his suffering is caused by his anger at himself and unless he finds a way to forgive himself, he won’t find a way out of the “labyrinth of suffering”.
If you’re interested in religions & philosophy & etc…, I’d recommend one of Thich Nat Hanh’s books. They’re very interesting. Living in the moment, calming your anger (now you know how I ended up with them
) and some stuff about suffering that was very interesting.
Why did I feel the need to sing “Let it be”? I guess it’s sort of because sometimes when you can’t change things you at least have to accept them and make your peace with the way things are. And because no-one has burst into song here in a very long time. And general randomness
Aahhhhh, didn’t see the replies until now. Yeah, you have it basically right. I do believe that Miles, the narrator, meant it in a broader sense though, i.e., forgiving not only yourself, but other people can stop you from suffering. Actually, I think I need to read the book again with this quote in mind now…
Bookgirl, go read it! It was an awesome book.
A friend was giving a PowerPoint presentation on Descartes. Normally, PowerPoint presentations are the least entertaining or quote-worthy things I could think of. however. She ended the presentation by saying, “cogito ergo sum”. The text on the slide? “Deep man, deep.”
The teacher herself said it was an impressively entertaining presentation. Said friend said she hadn’t meant it to be funny.
“I know you want to be a big feather, but that won’t work with the design!”
– Me, to a feather I was drawing.
Cool, I’m not the only one who talks to my drawings.
Uh-oh. Never listen to/watch videos of yourself in 2006 that you shot yourself, especially if you feel the need to keep a running commentary and sound like Dakota Fanning;
“And if we get hit by a car, I’ll have it videotaped so we’ll see the light, get it?”
“When we go through the graveyard, be careful not to step on the any of the bodies, they’re everywhere.”
“Bodies?” *hopeful tone of voice*
“Well, their graves.”
“Oh.” *disappointed tone*
(a friend and I)
“He’s already dead. And I didn’t step on him…” (my sister)
Yes, we were visiting a graveyard.
That sounds really interesting.
Who doesn’t enjoy visiting a graveyard?
Best description of Cthulhu ever:
“It looks like Godzilla wearing an octopus hat.” – Peter Venkman, The Real Ghostbusters.
My sister: (out of nowhere) You know who I wouldn’t want to kiss? Uncle Vernon.
Now string them together and answer me this: which creature would you be unwilling to kiss?
That was my response. Except for it went more like this, “Spy on Uncle Vernon!”
“WE MUST ALL ATTEND AN OPERA DRESSED IN OUR FINEST STEAMPUNK!”
-My friend, on Facebook group chat, following a discussion of our collective theater-going proclivities.
“Finally. I posted it. Now I can be distracted all I want! BACK TO THE COSTUMES THREAD!!!”
-Me, just now.
“I generally don’t make sweeping generalizations like that, but-”
“But you just… You made a generalization saying that you dont make generalizations…”
Me and my Euro teacher.
The bone-chilling scream split the warm summer night in two, the first half being before the scream when it was fairly balmy and calm and pleasant for those who hadn’t heard the scream at all, but not calm or balmy or even very nice for those who did hear the scream, discounting the little period of time during the actual scream itself when your ears might have been hearing it but your brain wasn’t reacting yet to let you know.
-Lytton Bulwer contest, 1986.
“Gerald began—but was interrupted by a piercing whistle which cost him ten percent of his hearing permanently, as it did everyone else in a ten-mile radius of the eruption, not that it mattered much because for them “permanently†meant the next ten minutes or so until buried by searing lava or suffocated by choking ash—to pee.”
-Lytton Bulwer contest, 2007.
“As Jeffrey Hicks, the event safety coordinator for the Renaissance Festival finished posting the revised standards for weaponry, he thought of the day an unleashed dog wandered onto the jousting field, causing the rider from Indianapolis to stop short, impaling himself on the butt of his spear, and the following day’s newspaper headline which read: ‘Stray Injures Indy Knight, Hicks Changing Lances.'”
-Lytton Bulwer contest, 2010, “Vile Puns” runner-up
Wow, that’s eleven highlighted posts in a row! That must be some sort of record!
Me: “This explains a lot of stuff I already knew.”
My dad: “They think you’re a little kid.”
Me: “No, they think I’m a dumb teenager who only cares about Twilight and Justin Beiber.”
My dad: “Violating Justin Beiber?”
Me: “EW! Dad, you have a dirty mind.”
A conversation between two staff members at my school:
M: *explains something* It’s easy. Easy like cheese.
K: Like cheese?
M: I try to incorporate cheese into as many daily expressions as possible.
These are things my 1st period history teacher said today and yesterday:
“So we’re all getting up at this ungodly hour until they start making school start at nine o’ clock. Which we’ll never happen; we’re [cake]ed.”
(He didn’t actually swear, but I thought I should change what he said into “caked” just in case.)
“Well what the heck did the Belgians do? Well, they made waffles.”
This was during a short discussion of the anthropologists Louis and Mary Leaky: “They were just a couple of crazy old English people. Kinda like me.”
“So, what did you need before you could do this in caves? You need fire, right? Because you can’t make cave paintings in the dark.”
I don’t believe in belgium. (If you want to know why, it’s because of the guy who made the Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus hoax.)
Me: “But what do I do if she likes Justin Beiber?”
Friend: “Run
far far away”
ME: (talking about this awesome new song we’re playing in band) It sounds like a cliff overlooking a deep gorge full of mist, and there are people fighting on the edge, with swords and spears. Every once in a while somebody gets pushed off and dissapears into the mist.
FRIEND: And that would be Justin Beiber.
ME: You mean Rabid Beaver.
FRIEND: Right.
ME: Wait, it can’t be Rabid Beaver. Or else the song would have snatches from the song “Rabies.”
It goes: “Rabies, rabies, rabies, OHHHH”
Watching Doctor Who.
ME: It’s British. It’s awesome.
FRIEND: Cool, so they speak British?
…
Wait…
“Is that a gavel or a barrel of monkeys?”
-My brother, watching the State of the Union address.
Further weirdness:
Me: “Oh, this is going to be one of those standing-up-and-clapping-every-thirty-seconds speeches, won’t it? Oh, yep, there they go, standing up, and then clapping, and clapping some more, and then sitting again.”
Brother: “It’s like going to church.”
I swear, he is a punchline generator.
SFTDP
“The look on his face was a combination of I’m better than you children and There is a pole up my butt.
-A story my friend is writing.
“The universe is what happened when Edward Elric got really mad.” – one of the several FMA fangirls at my school.
“Whoever said ignorance is bliss must have died suddenly with a very surprised expression on their face.” – anonymous
These were from my brothers watching an episode of Avatar: The Last Airbender.
My brother: “[Random], guess which season this is!”
Me: “You can’t tell from the… From the… From this part! The tile sequence! Yeah, that’s it.”
*”Previously, on Avatar” starts up*
My brother: “Guess from this! And don’t look!”
Me: “OK.” *turns around*
Katara’s voice: “I can’t believe we finally made it to Ba Sing Se in one piece.”
Iroh’s voice: “I just want our place to look nice. In case someone brings home a lady friend.”
Me: “‘Tales of Ba Sing Se’?”
My brother: “HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?!?”
Me: *enters room after having been away for a short while*
TV: “-ome.”
Me: “Tale of Iroh?”
My brother: “Yup!”
(Now, off to the Addicted thread!)
Old women like to know everything and mabye a little bit more.- Wintersmith
Two famous yet (somewhat) contradictory quotes:
The pen is mightier than the sword.
Actions speak louder than words.
Has anyone else ever noticed the contradiction?
My favorite quote (again by someone I can’t remember)
I want to go peacefully, like my grandpa did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.”
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”
“Out of sight, out of mind.”
Strike while the iron is hot.
Look before you leap.
Haste makes waste.
He who hesitates is lost.
Or she.
“Feed a cold and starve a fever.”
It could mean either
– “Feed someone who has a cold, and don’t feed someone who has a fever.”
or
– “If you feed someone who has a cold, then that person will proceed to catch a fever, which you will have to treat by starving. Therefore, you must not ‘feed a cold.'”
(I’ve heard that the second interpretation is the correct one, although almost nobody understands the saying that way.)
Then again, as I read somewhere not long ago about this very saying: if the advice is worthless to begin with, then why should it matter which version is “correct”?
Also, in light of recent experience, I can say that while in the grips of fever, I didn’t feel inclined to eat anything at all, so any directives to “starve” would have been redundant.
True, and true. And it’s good to have you back from the undead!
SUCCESS! I have made every single comment in this disussion highlighted!
Further funny-friend-story quotes, slightly paraphrased (A is hiding in a closet, feeling traumatized. B, who at this point is fairly obviously crushing on him, is trying to persuade him to come out. Both characters are male. Yes, there are jokes about the closet.):
A:”Please come out.”
B:”Over my dead body.”
A:”Come on. I really am sorry, so please come out.”
B:”Over your dead body.”
Even though I failed. Reverse A and B in the description.
Context- I teach taekwondo. I had this conversation with an 8-9 year old student.
Kid from Taekwondo: What is it like being an instructor?
Me: I don’t know. It’s like being Miss W, because I’m always here? So it’s normal.
Kid: Does it feel awesome?!
Me: It’s awesome because I get to see all my favorite kids every day!
It’s really fun when the kids show how they think we are cool. Sometimes they draw us pictures or ask us questions like that and we realize that they really look up to us and they don’t just think we are some annoying people who always tell them what to do.
I know the feeling.
What is it like being a GAPA? Does it feel awesome?!
“Awesome” describes it well.
Teacher: Somebody give me examples of nonfiction in a newspaper.
Student: Obituaries!
Teacher: Well… *a long, long pause in which she looks thoughtful* Yes, I suppose that’s right. Yes.
Teacher: I heard there’s a boy in your grade named Aristotle.
Student: Yeah, how are we going to tell them apart?
Teacher: Well, was your Aristotle born in 300 BC?
Class: Maybe. Probably. Uh, I think so.
Teacher: Look, here’s a picture of Aristotle. See, does your Aristotle look like that?
Class: Yeah! Yep. Uh-huh. Pretty much. Yeah.
Mystery quote:
“Technology is incredible!”
Douglas Adams quote: (roughly)
“Technology is a word meaning something that doesn’t work yet.”
I am confused. Why have so many people liked this? And no one knows the answer?
“Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn’t one today.”
—Groundhog Day
Someone else saw that movie! *liked it* *found it cute*
Isn’t it funny the way old movies have a much slower build-up, but you remember them much longer than the average modern movie? And the humor is more subtle.
Yes.
And the romance was more believable.
“The legendary and gigantic Starship Titanic was a majestic and luxurious cruise liner launched from the great shipbuilding asteroid complexes of Artifactovol. It was sensationally beautiful, staggeringly huge and more pleasantly equipped than any ship in history, but it had the misfortune to be built in the very earliest days of Improbability Physics, long before this difficult and cussed branch of knowledge was fully, or at all, understood.
The designers and engineers decided, in their innocence, to build a prototype Improbability Field into it, which was meant, supposedly, to ensure that it was Infinitely Improbable that anything would ever go wrong with any part of the ship.
They did not realize that because of the quasi-reciprocal and circular nature of all Improbability calculations, anything that was Infinitely Improbable was very likely to happen almost immediately.
The Starship Titanic was a monstrously pretty sight as it lay beached like a silver Arcturan Megavoidwhale among the laser-lit tracery of its construction gantries, a brilliant cloud of pins and needles of light against the deep interstellar blackness; but when it launched, it did not even manage to complete its very first radio message – an SOS – before undergoing a sudden and gratuitous total existence failure.”
have to love Douglas Adams
“I love deadlines, I love the sound they make as they go whooshing past…” -Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
Free time in art class:
Me: *draws United Federation of Planets symbol* *shows classmate*
Classmate: I thought that was some sort of hippie cult.
Funniest moment in school so far this year. Someone asked my geometry teacher if they could use syllogism (instead of transitive) in this equation, and she replied,
“No, of course not, this is equations, not logical statements.”
conversation on googlebuzz:
me:voyagers. schoolwork. clores. sleep. That’s all there seems to be in my life right now.
friend #1: i guess i’m not the only one with a boring life
me: is that a great comfort to you?
friend#1:not really
me: ah.
friend #1: XD
me: *chops off own head but doesn’t find it to be much of a change*
friend#1: oh my.
friend#2: BETSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
me: don’t worry i glued it back on… elmer’s is great for that sort of thing.
(texting a girl I just met, I sent a rambling overexplanatory message, but it was cool because she understands the need to spell each word correctly)
haha jk… (the rest of the message)
Me: [blahblah 3 page text sent]
Girl: Woah! A 3 pager! At least buy me dinner first!
(there is a girl that my friends and I hang out with. she is kind of annoying, but it’s because she honestly doesn’t have the social skills to know she is bothering people, so we just let it go)
Characters: Cat(annoying girl), Bjela(Croatian girl), Band(girl from band)…
[in the hallway, Cat and Bjela are standing. Band is walking]
Cat: Wow. I feel bad for Band.
Bjela: Why?
Cat: She has to carry all those instruments. Her arms must be tired.
Bjela: Yeah, they look heavy.
Cat: I know she is carrying a flute and a clarinet. I can tell by the cases.
Bjela: Oh?
Cat: Yeah. The flutes have small cases, and the clarinets are a little bigger and they have different proportions. And don’t even get me started on the sousaphones!
[Band walks up with cases]
Cat: That must be a really heavy clarinet!
Band: Umm… Oh that’s a saxophone.
[people awkwardly leave]
So, now it’s kind of an inside joke to say “Don’t get me started on the sousaphones”, just because it’s a sentence we never thought we would hear.
I carry an an alto sax and a tenor.
Carrying a flute and a clarinet would be pretty easy. I mean, you could do ballet carrying a flute and a clarinet!!!
“Dear Twilight,
Give us back our (cake)ing apple.
Sincerely,
Death Note”
-someone’s signature on The Website That Shall Not Be Named
Mystery quote:
“But the backdrops peel and the sets give way,
And the cast get eaten by the play”
THE CARNATIONS SHALL LIVE FOREVER!!!
– The Wizard of Oz
“Now, mostly dead: he’s slightly alive. All dead: well, with all dead, there’s usually only one thing you can do.”
“What’s that?”
“Go through his clothes and look for loose change.”
-The Princess Bride
I was watching that movie yesterday. Isn’t Miracle Max the greatest?
How does it feel to be
One of the beautiful people?
Now that you know who you are
What do you want to be?
And have you travelled very far?
Far as the eye can see.
-“Baby You’re a Rich Man” by the Beatles
“You no puke, I promise!”
-Simon, Durarara!(referring to the sushi he’s advertising. He’s bad at it.)
“Being hit over the head with a trapeze is not good for anybody.” -me
Oh, gosh, I have so many good quotations from various places… I just don’t have the energy to type them all up on a Kindle. Mas tarde.
A: Tell them about the mediaeval castle we saw yesterday!
B: Oh, yeah, it was only 10 years old right?
-two of the people we stayed in a condo with last week
End of Chinese class-
Teacher: Valentine’s Day is coming up. What word pertains to this that begins with L and ends with R?
Student: Lucifer!
I have plenty of common sense. I just choose to ignore it.
-Calvin and Hobbes
Lover?
That took me like five minutes to think of. I feel like a fail.
Loser?
I did think loser, yes. It took me ages to figure it out, too.
What was the real word?
Liver? Liquor? Logger? Litter? Letter? Leper? Llama-er?
Liar? Labrador? Lavalier?
Laughter? Litigator? Liberator? Landscaper?
SFTDP. Some of the first Tweets by Jack Dorsey:
Walking home, holding up my pants.
The next day:
Walking to the office- still having pant problems.
Holding up his pants while texting? How did he do that — by pinning them to his sides with his elbows?
Perhaps he was trying to fashion some sort of rudimentary suspenders.
It’s entirely possible to text with one hand.
“Run! Run like a piranha!”
“Piranhas don’t run!”
-A couple of random kids
“We’re out of coconut donuts! We’re out of donuts! Who’s responsible for this outrage?â€
–Penguini, in the Bunny Melee thread
“…It’s a jeweled beret. Obviously.”
-Mystery Person.
“Well, there’s not much comfort in dying. I always said it was the last thing I wanted to do.”
-Didn’t catch his name but he sells planets in the Doctor Who (4th doctor) The Ribos Operation.
Oh, I really, really hope that the mystery person is Jamie from Mythbusters.
MYSTERY QUOTE:
“Izzy’s handbag – is full of crap. With nothing that you need. But sometimes it comes in handy at random moments when you wouldn’t think it would.”
Is that from Care Bears on Fire? I cheated using Google.
Yes; its from a silly little youtube skit called “Izzy’s Magic Handbag”. But do you know anything about Care Bears on Fire?
“I can’t hear you. I love these headphones.”
–Me, to my younger brother
Marten: “There has to be a word for those brief moments of clarity when you realize just how profoundly weird your life is.”
Hannelore: “I take medication to prevent those moments. Want some?”
-Questionable Content
My friend decided to mess with her colorblind friend. (His tie was grey.)
“Shaymus, why are you wearing a purple tie?”
“It’s not purple, it’s blue!”
Oh, that’s just mean.
“I fell in love this morning.”
“Will it wash out?”
–Buttercup Festival, Vol. 2, No. 19
“There are two types of people in this world: those who buy supermarket-brand eggnog, and those who make the stuff themselves.”
-moi
Fabulously figurative.
“A parfait is just a smoothie waiting to happen.”
-Me
…and those who hate the stuff and gag every time relatives drink it.
Oh yeah I also once said, in the middle of All-County Chorus practice, “Man, I really have a hankerin’ for some eggnog!”
“We do know of certain knowledge that he [Osama bin Laden] is either in Afghanistan, or in some other country, or dead.” – Donald Rumsfeld
(wait…what if he was wrong!)
Aliens abducted him, duh.
“I want you to know that in my other classes I refer to you as the class that believes in aliens” -my American Government teacher
(In our Gov class we discuss current events, and someone in our period always has to say something about aliens)
English Teacher: Ok, in a poem when there is an original metaphor that is used throughout the piece, what is it called?
Students: mumble mumble [everyone knows it’s conceit, but nobody wants to talk]
Teacher: Come on, I know you learned it last year. When the same theme runs through the whole thing… It’s called…?
Cory: A running joke.
[everyone laughs]
…Gosh, really? O.o
“Okay, today everyone tell us your name, how you’re feeling, and what you would do with a million dollars.”
“Hi, I’m Echo, I’m tired, and I would go to Japan.”
“Hi, I’m [Cat’s Eye], I’m also tired, and I would donate it to charity.”
“Hi, I’m Lex Luthor, I’m sleepy as well, and I would use the money to overthrow the Russian government and institute myself as its leader.”
“Can I change my answer? I wanna donate my money to Lex Luthor.”
“New rule, class; you are not allowed to travel outside of the country with your money. Change your answer, Lex Luthor.”
“All right. I will go to Kansas and overthrow the government there.”
-our Social Psychology class. It’s a common saying in our grade that Lex Luthor will probably rule the world someday.
“…and nothing can give you a dopamine rush quite like biting into a piece of really good chocolate, kids. …Well, except crack.” -my Social Psych teacher
Who’s Lex Luthor? Is he from Batman? Or, wait, Superman?
The name is from Superman, but the actual person’s name is not Lex Luthor. It’s just a ridiculously appropriate pseudonym for him.
Is he bald?
Alas, no. Just an evil mastermind.
*sigh* All enthusiasm for the political speeches we have to do died when our teacher announced that we weren’t allowed to proclaim the third republic or stray from the constitution. Do you suppose annexing Italy would be a deviation from permanent neutrality?
bookgirl: Not at all. By annexing Italy, you could enlarge the European neutral zone and introduce the beleaguered Italians to the joys of neutrality. In fact, one might argue that Austria has a positive duty to incorporate Italy. Resistance is futile!
“But metheptaline’s (sp?) a drug of which I’m clean!
Though I can’t say the same of dopamine! DO-O-O-OPAMINE!”
-Chemical love, by Charlieissocoollike/ Charlie McDonnel
“…Um… he pleads bisexual?”
“…”
“Can you PLEAD bisexual?”
-my friend and I, in an RP
“You know why they don’t have laptops here [in the library]? Because you can’t walk out with a desktop computer in your suitcase. I’ve tried. They don’t fit.”
-from a fanfic of mine
I just pinked 6 comments on the Words & Names thread.
Oops, that was supposed to go on the Random thread. *headdesk*
Me: “So you work at the Dryden Flight Research Center?”
DFRC Guy: “Yes, do you know where that is? It’s out in-”
Me: “California, by Edwards. It’s a little old place in the middle of nowhere.”
DFRC Guy: “Yup.”
Me: “Like the Loveshack.”
DFRC Guy: “…”
My conductor is concerned. Addressing the orchestra:
“You have to stop speeding up. You’re rushing headlong into doom here! Doom is not good! Currently you’re all thinking, ‘Oh hey, doom, yay!’ That’s not the right attitude.”
A few friends and me later:
Me: “But I like doom.”
S: “Yeah, me too. What if doom’s just lonely and misunderstood?”
Me: “I think doom needs a hug.” *hugs S*
S: “What, am I doom now? Sweet!”
*explaining synesthesia to someone*
Me: “So there are too many connections between the sensory parts of my brain and they talk to each other when they aren’t supposed to.”
Person: “…you hear voices in your brain?”
“We live in a world in which people are beheaded, imprisoned, demoted, and censured simply because they have opened their mouths, flapped their lips, and vibrated some air. Yes, those vibrations can make us feel sad or stupid or alienated. Tough [snip]. That’s the price of admission to the marketplace of ideas. Hateful, blasphemous, prejudiced, vulgar, rude, or ignorant remarks are the music of a free society, and the relentless patter of idiots is how we know we’re in one. When all the words in our public conversation are fair, good, and true, it’s time to make a run for the fence.”
–Daniel Gilbert
Snippets of a random conversation that popped into my head:
“We don’t want a repeat of what happened in Des Moines.”
“I agree.”
“It certainly was interesting, though. Not to mention educational.”
“Mhm.”
“I mean, I didn’t realize you could get excommunicated by the Unitarian Church.”
“Would it kill you to shut up and drive??“
Along the same lines:
“To answer your questions- yes, no, white stars on a blue background, possibly, no, of course, nobody know for sure, and Lori Garver with the Silence Glaive.”
After-Action Report from a NASA/Sailor Moon fanfic?
Sort of. My friend Erin and I are writing one of those stupid stories where you cross over everything you like and have everybody trying to stop some crazy huge villain. One of the running jokes is that a lot of random people turn out to have superpowers, so Garver is a sailor scout and the president of SeaWorld can talk to fish like Aquaman.
My dad: “He has *that* much money?”
Engineer guy: “Richard Branson has *that* much money.”
My mother: *holds up hammer* “[My dad]’s going to be so jealous!!!” *dances slightly*
“True terror is waking up one morning to discover that your high school class is running the country.”
-Kurt Vonnegut
From a rather crack-y fanfiction RP, this bit written by me:
Trickster: Oh, look, the clowns have arrived. And at such a convenient time, too. Bataclan’s that way, you four. This is Moha-Samedi, the emcee of Mystere. Moha, these are my three crazy men and a thief. Did you get eaten by any rattlesnakes on the way?
Moha: …Um… nice to meet you?
King: Almost. One chased us and bit Pickpocket on the nose, but it was the red one and it got its teeth stuck. *He wanders off toward the bataclan with the rest of the clowns.*
Moha: Um… what just happened?
Things I recently said on Facebook chat:
“Of course, it comes to world domination, [J]’s at a disadvantage because I’ve already made plans with this awesome 14-year-old blond LARPer named [Z]. We’ve picked which hemispheres we’ll rule and everything!”
“Ruling the world requires so much paperwork, you have no idea…
Of course, We’ll each only be ruling HALF of the world, but still…”
“Well, you could throw [Z] into a volcano in a parka and he’d thank you for it.
Him in the parka. Not the volcano.”
“And his LARP character is a were-walrus.”
“Being a ranged LARP character is fun because you get to throw socks at people.”
“[I’d prefer black ones] too, but I didn’t bring the socks.
And there is something inexplicably funny about using yellow socks to represent ‘Death Drain’ and ‘Darkness Bolt’.”
We’re letting this through but we hope it will not inspire a trend of chat quoting.
Sorry, Lady Bunniful.
But I do like the comment about paperwork — something that aspiring world rulers usually fail to appreciate.
When I’m Supreme World Overlord I’ll have minions to do the work while I relax on an island with a fruity drink. They’ll ask me to make a decision or sign something and I’ll be like, “do it yourself, I’m relaxing.”
“We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming.” – Wernher von Braun.
Not so much World Domination as Mad Science, but even so.
“Knock knock”
“Who’s there?”
“Phillip Glass”
“Phillip Glass who?”
“Knock knock”
“Who’s there?”
“Phillip Glass”
“Phillip Glass who?”
“Knock knock”
“Who’s there?”
“Phillip Glass”
“Phillip Glass who?”
“Knock knock”
“Who’s there?”
“Phillip Glass”
“Phillip Glass who?”
-a guest conductor describing minimalism/Phillip Glass’s music (They played a Phillip Glass concerto <3)
Followed by:
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Phillip Glass.”
“Who Phillip Glass?” (x4)
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Glass Phillip.”
“Who Phillip Glass?” (x4)
“Knock knock.”
“There who’s?”
“Glass Phillip.”
“Who Phillip Glass?” (x4)
“Knock there.”
“Who’s who’s?”
“Glass Phillip.”
“Who Phillip Glass?” (x4)
“Knock there.”
“Who’s Phillip?”
“Glass Glass.”
“Who Phillip Glass?” (x4)
“Knock there.”
“Who’s Phillip?”
“Glass who?”
“Phillip Phillip Glass.” (x4)
…
“Why are your shoes messed up?”
“I got in a fight with a tree and climbed a building. It was an intense tree. I won.”
-Me and Irrational Crush, in respective order
I should just compile a list of 13 quotes. There are so many good ones…
“I kinda want to have a seizure in these pants.” QED.
“And it’s true. People walk around Disneyland going, ‘Walt stood right here! Walt stepped on this brick! Walt used this toilet!’ And so on.” -Disco Yeti
Teacher: “So you think you have the test in third and and fourth period but you don’t know for sure?”
A.: “Our french teacher wouldn’t tell us.”
N.: “She doesn’t want us to run away.”
“We so excited!”
-Rebecca Black (Friday)
The only thing I like about the song is the creative iTunes reviews it caused.
“After all these years I finally get it. Thursday is BEFORE Friday and Saturday is AFTER Friday. All it took was a song to get me straight. But I’m still not sure how the whole Sunday thing works.”
“I’d really like to see her branch out and tackle something like January.”
Oh, come on. She’s 13, she’s having fun, she’s giving her profits to Japan, and she may even be a Muser for all we know. More power to her, I say.
Autotuning makes me lose all respect for people.
What? But Symphony of Science uses autotune; surely you at least respect them?
Speaking of which, that’s the only reason I’ve heard of autotune (besides the Embi family, which didn’t really explain it); what is it, exactly?
For musicians.
Also, look at it this way. A 13 year old girl, her father, and a token black guy make a horrible song about Friday. There is no talent involved. They autotune. The lyrics are quite possibly the worst I have ever heard. And it is really, really widespread. Everyone has heard it. Whereas many good bands, playing real music, with real lyrics, and real voices, won’t ever get the same amount of publicity.
I understand life isn’t fair. But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.
I recommend to everyone reading the site Overthinking It‘s analysis of this song. It’s quite fascinating. I doubt you knew that the “token black guy” is actually one of the writers of the song?
I think that’s beside the point.
“Armada, come quick, your sister’s being an upside-down pancake batfish!”
“Someone’s been washing the UFO, huh?”
“There’s more to life than beans and muffins!”
“Yes, ducky. Noodles.”
“I didn’t trip, I said hi to the wall with my face!”
“I didn’t trip, I was just testing gravity. It’s still there!”
“It’s a rabbit time bomb!”
“Om nom nom nom nom — that is proper grammar!”
“So two vocados… or is it vocadai? Do they have vocados in Greece?”
“How do you take a four-hour side trip?”
“You go sideways!”
“Celery is not a fashion statement!”
“That’s a heavy banana!”
“A spoon is a mini bowl on a stick.”
“Ah-hah! I found it!”
“Found what?”
“R2-D2.”
“…Where?”
“On top of the kitchen.”
“I can see why real estate is not a spectator sport…”
“You are going to take ‘you’re the one keeping the conversation going’ as a bowl of soup?”
“I know it doesn’t make any sense. But yes.”
First: These quotes are amazing and funny!
Second: These all sound scarily like things I would say…
At badminton, after a long run:
Friend 1: I need more air!
Friend 2: I need a new heart!
Me: I need to lower the pH of my blood!
Friends 1 and 2: What?!
Why would you want to lower it? Assuming you had cramps/pain caused by lactic acid, lowering the pH would involve more acid.
But I pied this anyway. It’s funny!
To me, today: “Can I just borrow your brain?”
Someone in my English class last year: “Are you ever wrong?”
I really, really hope this person was joking or being sarcastic, but I couldn’t tell.
I hope your response was “No.”
I wish. Unfortunately, I was too surprised to think properly. Oh, well…
I have actually worked out a schedule with somebody to determine when I get my brain and when he gets my brain.
“Can I have it during Spanish?”
“Sure, I have English then – I won’t need it, anyways.”
“Some circumstantial evidence is very strong, as when you find a trout in the milk.”
-Henry David Thoreau
all the work
forever
x_x
“I know forgiveness is out of the question. I just ask for what we all ask of the people we respect–that the thought of me does not compel you to violent spasms of projectile vomiting.”
-Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, in one of his saner moments.
Interesting conversation I observed the other day. It went something like this.
A:(is playing game on ipod)
B: stop playing a game on your ipod in front of everybody. It’s rhude.
A: No.
B: let me play, then.
A: No
B: then let me give you a lesson on ipod ettiqquite. This is when you should play games on your ipod: a. when you’re along and you’re bored, b. at night when you’re alone and you’re bored, c. when you’re alone and you’re bored, d. when you’re alone and you’re bored. This is when you don’t play games on your ipod: a. in front of people, b. in front of people, c. in front of people, d. in front of people.
A: (still refuses to give up ipod)
“Every silver lining has a gray cloud” – me being depressed
“Where astronomy is the exploration of space, archeology is the exploration of time.” – Me, in response to everyone who’s told me “That’s a weird Major/Minor combination.”
Which is which?
Archeology major, astronomy minor.
SUPERVISOR: Hey Mrs. Namey, is a virus alive?
MRS. NAMEY: *gives long explanation* …and so scientists debate. What club is this, anyway?
SUPERVISOR: A writing club.
MRS. NAMEY: *blank stare*
SUPERVISOR : …We cover a wide variety of topics.
J: Ooh! I know one!
SUPERVISOR ( hereby referred to as S) (J’s mother): One what?
J: A movie like the one you were just describing! Can I write it on the board?
S: …Ok.
J: *gets up and walks towards board*
S (Eying J suspiciously.) : J, if your next sentence is “Star Wars” you’re out of the club.
J: *turns around abruptly*
R: If you say anything else, I’m going to strangle you!!!
S: Watch out, J! She’s already taken down one of your teammates today and she’s thirsty for football–team blood!
J: *says something*
R: *strangles*
J: *is choking*
(The two sit back down.)
R: *randomly starts choking on water*
S: This is an excellent example of irony.
C: And the fact that J’s a warlock!
S: And so right after R started choking J…
R’S MOTHER (Looking alarmed) : …Should I be concerned?
S: We’re not like this every day, I promise.
J: Yes, we are.
S: J, you and I will talk later!
MY HAND IS A DOLPHIN
“Everybody’s Russian!”
And now this makes sense to me. I’m slightly concerned.
“Does anyone have any questions?”
*raises hand* “PASTA!”
– Hetalia
“He has a bullet in his head.”
“He was shot?”
*sarcastically* “No, someone THREW it at him.”
– House
“When I’m sad, I just be awesome and then I’m not sad anymore.” – Someone’s signature on another website
House-snark is extremely quotable. ” I was thinking the broken bones are a response to the building falling on her head.”
I was playing “The Beatles: Rockband”(they deserve a proper title) and I heard a great line.
Guess which member said it and in which song.
“Everybody let their hair down, everybody pulled their socks up”
I don’t know which band member, but as for the song, it was either Octopuses Garden or… I don’t know. I can hear the lyrics in my head, but the name of the song won’t come!
The song is on Let It Be, I think. I’ve got A Feeling, maybe? I think John sang it.
Princess_Magnolia, YOU ARE THE WINNER!!!!! You correctly guessed the song and the singer. Not only that, you guessed the album correctly too!
I looooove the Beatles.
(Sorry, that was me, not Princess_Magnolia.
)
I love the Beatles too.
I reject all claim to the honor of being winner. Sharing a computer can lead to mistakes sometimes
“All of our unhappiness comes from our inability to be alone.â€
–Jean de La Bruyère
For extroverts, maybe.
So tru.
“True.”
True.
“Ke$ha? I love Ke$ha. Every time I hear one of her songs, it’s like, sparkle party in my BRAIN!!”
What does this have to do with Ke$ha?
I’m guessing en was quoting someone.
That was a quote from a friend who is a synesthete. Apparently, she sees music as a sheet of sparkles, and the more the music is synthesized, the sparklier it is. So whenever she hears pop music, especially Ke$ha music, she sees lots of sparkles. It makes sense to her, I suppose.
My brother, P, reading through a book’s Table of Contents: “… Schrodinger’s Cat. Was that the cat that died?”
Me: “It’s complicated.”
A better response:
“Well, yes and no….”
I explained it to him in full after he got to that page and said he didn’t get it.
Ah. We found up with Schrodinger’s waffles once… well, I ate them, but you get the point.
Mystery quote:
“Rowaarghgentlyboatouchgentlydoonboatboatboattiddley -”
WILL YOU SHUT UP?
“Boatlymerrilystreamboataarrgh – ”
THIS IS HARDLY APPROPRIATE! “Prettyboataaghboatonthemerrilystream …”
The Feegles and the Ferryman, respectively. From Wintersmith.
Yes!
Death’s first reaction to the Feegles: OH NO, NOT YOU PEOPLE AGAIN. I THOUGHT YOU WERE BANNED.
One of my favorite parts of the book…
In math class, our teacher tried to introduce us to the joy of extreme value calculation (dunno how to translate it properly):
Teacher: “A farmer wants to build a chicken coop in his yard. If he has 50 meters of wire left, blablabla.” *beings to solve problem*
N.: But what if it’s a round chicken coop? If I was a farmer, I’d build a round one.
Teacher: It’s not round.
Me.: They’d always run in circles!
A.: They’d probably get stiff necks.
Teacher: The farmer is not building a circular chicken coop.
O.:What about an ellipse?
Teacher: *ignores*
V.: Or a hyperbel?
Me *facepalm*
“When I was little, my mom told me that when it rained God was crying. I guess he must really hate Seattle. (Looking up) Is it because of grunge music?”
-My friend L(It was raining)
“The moral of the story, I guess, is never exceed the engineer’s specifications.” – my character Francine Dalmo, on the myth of Icarus.
Jack felt as though he had been stabbed in the chest. Not because of anything the Doctor had said, but because someone had actually stabbed him in the chest.
-A rather excellent fanfic
“I’m looking for a late early birthday present for my best enemy.”
-Another rather excellent fanfic by the same author
Yumie: I gotta wonder. Why is there always someone against us? No matter where you look, you won’t find another religion overflowing with so much love, glorious and perfect. So what’s the deal?
Heinkel: There’s one problem which has never quite died out. Beliefs come in various forms.
Yumie: I wonder if there are any Buddhists like us two?
Heinkel: I really have no idea.
-Hellsing (Heinkel and Yumie are a team of assassins from a secret organization within the Vatican. Wow that sounds weird.)
A couple memorable things from today:
“My adjectives know no limits!”
“DON’T BRING THAT TREE IN THE HOUSE!”
“Where are you going with that tree?”
“I’ve been hit in the head by a ming mang!”
“My mom’s making pot in the basement.” (It was actually “My mom’s making pots in the basement,” but we all heard it as the former…)
And mystery quote (no Googling!):
“I’m talking about death – and you’ve never experienced that. And you cannot act it. You die a thousand casual deaths — with none of that intensity which squeezes out life…and no blood runs cold anywhere. Because even as you die you know that you will come back in a different hat. But no one gets up after death — there is no applause – there is only silence and some second-hand clothes, and that’s — death –“
This was when we were looking for a book in a store with no success:
Me: Wouldn’t it be funny if it turned out to be right here all along where we already looked, and we just hadn’t noticed it? Wait… Look! It is!
This was when my mom and I were walking on top of some rocks:
My mom: Are you sure you won’t fall off? *falls off*
Life can be very strange sometimes. Neither of those quotes were exact, but I’m pretty sure they’re very close.
My friend and his mother.
Mother: “What are you going to do tonight?”
Friend (while eating): “Ineeuhwok”
Mother (reading, only half listening): “What?”
Friend (still eating): “Ineeuhwok!”
Mother (still reading, only half listening): “What?”
Friend: “Ineeuhwok!”
Mother: “What?”
Friend: “INEEUHWOK!”
Mother: “What?”
Friend (finally finishes): “I need to work!”
Mother: “You could have just said so.”
Ble for Beginners!
Me: My name is Dumbledore! And I am a ghosty ghost! I am a ghosty ghost! I am a ghosty ghost!
I continued impersonating Dumbledore the ghost for quite some time, explaining to Harry Potter who was really my little brother how he was going to go steal a gun and use it to shoot Moldyshorts, who then becomes a ghost. I won’t share all that, partly because I can’t remember it all, but I will share this unabashedly shipper-iffic bit from the end.
Me: So Moldyshorts dies! And then he says, “I am a ghosty ghost! I am a ghosty ghost!” And I say, “I’m the only one allowed to sing the ghosty ghost song! And I punch him! So Moldy is sad, and he says, “No one likes me!” But then Bella says, “I like you, Moldy!” And for the first time, Moldy realises how much he loves Bella! And he hugs her! And he says, “Bella.” And she says, “Moldy.” “Bella.” “Moldy.” “Bella. “Moldy.” And this continues ad infinitum et ad nauseum. But there is a problem! Moldy is a ghost, and Bella is a human! I mean, they’re both humans, but he’s dead and she’s alive! And they are STAR-CROSSED! Like Romeo and Juliet!
My little brother: So Bella kills herself?
Me: No, silly, Moldy kills her! And they all live happily ever after, except for the platypus, who I will HUNT DOWN and KILL as is my PURPOSE IN LIFE, because I KNOW HIS PLANS, and he will turn into a ghost too and he will go be Bella and Moldy’s pet because he is EVIL!
… I’m sorry. I have no excuse.
How did that conversation start?
…I was making my little brother a peanut butter and jelly sandwich… And for no reason in particular I started calling him Harry and pretending to be Dumbledore… And then I don’t know how Dumbledore turned into a ghost… Or where the platypus came from…
Yeah. We have some weird conversations. Well, in all honesty it wasn’t so much a conversation as a monologue, with The Brother laughing and occasionally asking a question or making a comment.
Pile of mystery quotes!
“I hate the homeless … ness problem that plagues our city.”
*walks into a tree* “Steering’s a bit off …”
“I can see we’re going to get along like a house on fire. Screaming, flames, people running for safety …”
*ominous chanting* *dramatic camera angle* “I’m going to take a potato chip … and EAT IT!”
“Make pasta, not war!” (This is my new life motto.)
2 is from Doctor Who. The Eleventh Hour, right after Ten regenerated into Eleven and met Amy.
4 is from Death Note, and is the most epic eating of a potato chip ever in media.
I’m not sure about 5, but methinks Italy.
Three must be a Discworld book, but he’s used that joke so many times I can’t remember which time that one is. Miss Tick to Tiffany in Wee Free Men, maybe?
One is from Doctor Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog (said by Captain Hammer)
You are all correct! *hands out cookies*
Is “Make pasta, not war!” a Hetalia thing?
More importantly, why do I even know this?
But props for the potato chip scene, it gets me every time.
Yep. It’s Italy.
You know it because you’re awesome.
My English Teacher: “This is something new I’ve created. It’s called a Blop. It’s like a blog, but on paper.”
Me: “Isn’t that just a diary?”
My English Teacher: “No, it’s a Blop.”
From my “Blop”, to be said as much like a hipster as possible:
“Feet? *Please*, I only use the SI. It’s a much more *accurate* way to measure, and it’s based on the *meter*.”
“Dude, are you still using *Washingtons*? Sacajawea coins are what everybody cool uses.”
I spent some Andrew Johnson dollars today. Talk about your un-coin-worthy presidents…
Somebody I know said that putting Andrew Jackson (No, I didn’t misread, I know you said Johnson, I’m talking about Jackson) on the $20 bill proves the Mint has a sense of humor, considering he tried so hard to destroy the National Bank.
Who’s Andrew Johnson?
Seventeenth president, according to Wikipedia, Source of All Knowledge. Hmm… Ooh, this is interesting, apparently he’s often considered one of the worst. Wow.
The seventeenth president, who took over after Lincoln was assassinated.
He was also nearly impeached, allegedly over misuse of the veto. It was also during Recontruction, which kind of… sucked. Yeah.
What’s an Andrew Johnson dollar, then?
You mean, you’ll put down your rock and I’ll put down my sword and we’ll try and kill each other like civilized people?-Wesley from The Princess Bride.
“Once I walked into a hippie store and said ‘It smells like incest in here.'” -C
“You were probably sitting next to your significant other going ‘Hey, it’s Elon Musk from Tesla!,’ after which she totally ignored you because she’s never heard the words Elon, Musk or Tesla. Maybe Musk, but not in the same context we think of it.” – egmcartech.com
“Do you really want to be kidnapped again? I mean, isn’t that getting just a little old?”
–Gilderoy Lcokhart, When in doubt, Obliviate
“‘Let me give you some advice, Captain,’ he said, ‘It may help you to make sense of the world. I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are the good people and the bad people. You’re wrong, of course. There are, always and only, bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides.'” – Lord Vetinari, Guards, Guards!
“SpaceX is technically short for Space Exploration Technologies Corporation, but no one ever calls it that. Founded in 2002 by Elon Musk, SpaceX has designed and built two rockets, the Falcon 1 and Falcon 9 (don’t ask me what happened to all the numbers in between).”
“…and human-rated (whatever that means) spacecraft”
“After a brief introduction of the two hosts and any other banter that the live chat room prods them towards…”
“Lockheed Martin (LockMart for short, despite their lack of a door lock division)”
“Elon Musk is one of very few possible answers to the question, ‘What do online payment methods, electric cars, and spaceships have in common?'”
“As you might have guessed, it was formed when a company named Northrop bought another one named Grumman in 1994.”
“There is a game available for iPad and iPhone based on the concept. In HD!”
“The National Space Society is a space advocacy group rather than the kind of society you can actually live in.”
“This makes (The International Space University) a great place to go for graduate-level education in Space Studies, or to get a space-related MBA. One downside: things might be difficult for you if you enroll at ISU and then decide that you want to switch your major to painting or archeology.”
– All from The SpaceWiki. What makes it better is that these are all from their official descriptions of these companies.
“He smells like a duck!” – A kid after…. smelling my duck. XD
“Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera!”
“Etcetera … that’s a pretty name. We have such pretty names back home!”
… Sorry. Too many hours at dress/tech rehearsal. :3
….Cats?
Nope, West Side Story. Although I don’t know what Vanillabean’s quote was from.
“You should totally come see West Side Story! It has singing and dancing … and stabbing …”
“I’m the spotlight operator. Or as I like to call it, ‘giant space laser cannon operator’.”
“Yay, happy ending! Except 3 guys are dead, 1 is probably going to spend the rest of his life in jail, and several are likely to need lots and lots of counseling.”
– Me on the musical
“Isabel,” I say desperately, “how do you think life on a ship would suit you?”
“Oh, not at all,” she says immediately. “I get unladylikely sick at the sight of all the waves going back and forth. It would be no fun at all.”
“Oh, that’s all right,” I say. “You could stay in the hold.”
She shrieks. “It was a joke,” I say hurriedly.
-one of my fanfics
“And then my goldfish ran away and got hit by a car….”
-Atan’syal (in an improv skit)
“You have blue eyebrows, right?”
“According to Preston.”
“No, wait, Preston doesn’t believe you have blue eyebrows, right? He says you have black ones.”
-me and Electros’ sister
“Why does Exeter keep changing?”
-me (in the context of trying to figure out the Henry V cast list for the playreading with my mom — Exeter, being one of the “interchangeable uncles,” is apparently played by about three different people as doubling demands)
“I dyed the ends of my hair invisible.”
-IC, talking about his haircut
“If they’re a space shuttle crew from 1995, why are there only three of them and why are they wearing Apollo-style spacesuits?”
(Pause)
“This is a comic about a ninja stealing the shuttle to fight space dinosaurs. I am analyzing it way too much.”
– Me.
Because he’s not any doctor, he’s
DOCTOR
MCNINJA
I guess that’s easier to say than “Either they’re Apollo 1 Expies with an uncontroversial background or I’m reading way too much into this.”
“I wrote to PETA today telling them very politely with good arguments and professionalism:
‘YOU SUCK I HATE YOU YOU ARE ALL NUBS!’
But not quite like that.”
– My Friend Erin
Really? Why? They’ve made mistakes, of course, but I’ve never gotten the impression they were horrible. Not that I really know much at all about them.
I quoted it not because of any personal views about PETA, just because she put it in a funny way.
I agree with your friend. They were at one point, I believe, campaigning to get people to call fish “sea kittens.”
I just checked- they still are. Dear me.
That’s almost weird enough to make me want to do it.
I call them “sea vegetables.”
Interesting. When my kitties are expecting dinner and pacing circles around the kitchen floor, tails held high, I call them “furry sharks.”
You should see mine after I give him baths. He gets this sort of deranged, evil, you’ll-pay-for-this expression before he bites me.
…Now I understand! I mean, yeah, it could make people care more about fish–if they could actually take it seriously! Sea kittens? Really? I don’t think anyone on earth would do that. Besides PETA members, I mean. I appreciate what they were trying to do, but it’s ridiculous to imagine it might actually work.
“All your base are belong to us”- my number theory textbook on base numbers (It has a quotation for each chapter, and I-kid-you-not that was one of them!)
“Fantasy is the best genera, because we take any other genera, and we add DRAGONS to it!”-Brandon Sanderson, the author of Alcatraz vs. The Evil Librarians
(Grammatical note: “genera” is plural. The singular is “genus.” That’s what Sanderson should have said.)
(Or was it meant to be “genre”?)
You know, I’ll bet “genre” is what he had in mind. I was in science mode.
Genre?
It was actually what I had in mind, but I spelled it wrong, and my computer’s autocorrect thing changed it to the wrong thing. (I was writing a bunch of papers for science, and I typed it a lot, so it got stuck in my computer’s autocorrect thing)
From a newspaper article I saw on the internet:
“A woman living in the 1100 block of Orange Street reported Tuesday that someone had kicked in the back door of her home.
“Whoever broke in stole an electric foot spa, a bottle of laundry detergent and a mop bucket.
“The thief, or thieves, made a clean getaway.”
Ba-dum TSSSH.
In related news, a grenade fell on a floor in Corsica. No one was harmed, but the result was Linoleum Blownapart.
“You are as superfluous as a sandbox in the desert.”
“I think I just wrote that my mother treats me like a ninja… that can’t be right.”
“On my first evening there, I told them I was crazy and pregnant. (…) I just wanted to say that I wasn’t hungry anymore!”
– The first is from the internet, the second is mine and the third is M’s, when she first went to France.
“Lenin’s real name was Vladimir Illich Ulyanov, and with a name like that you’ll want to shorten it.” -My history teacher
“Real men don’t have pink lead pencils. That’s mine.” -Same (male) teacher
Classmate 1: *raises hand*
Math teacher: “Is it pertinent?”
Classmate 2: “Did you just ask if he was pregnant?!”
Class: *cracks up laughing*
Teacher: “Per-tin-ent!”
Classmate 1: (to Classmate 2) “Yes I am.”
Me: “We are a class of lunatics.”
Math teacher: “She said it! She said it! Not me!”
Mystery quote:
“How do you know that?!”
“I know everything. And it says so on the bottom of the screen.”
Is it me? It sounds like something I would say.
That’s either Doctor Who or Torchwood, I know it is…..I just heard it recently, watching something with Alan, and that’s all we’ve really watched recently. I’m gonna hazard a guess and say Cap’n Jack, on Torchwood. No, wait. Ianto. Definitely Ianto. I don’t remember what was going on, but Ianto sounds right.
Yeah, it’s Ianto, in “The Sleeper” from season 2.
My dad wants to watch Torchwood with me. Gonna be awkward…
“Fish are just sushi waiting to happen.” – Me
This is a repeat, but:
“A parfait is just a smoothie waiting to happen.”
-Me
(Character A) falls asleep staring at the ceiling and hoping to whatever might be up there in the sky that (Character B) won’t try to murder him in his sleep.
He has a sinking suspicion, as his eyes slide shut and he drifts into dreamland, that whatever might be up there in the sky is having a good laugh at his expense right now.
-A friend’s fanfiction
256.1- That’s a lot worse.
Today:
Me: “Look at this! This guy’s death day was four days before his birthday!”
Me: “Stop stepping on the freaking graves!”
(I ended up saying this quite frequently.)
Me: *laughing* “Wow, this guy wasn’t liked very much.”
J: “What do you mean?”
Me: “Look at his epithet.”
J: *reading* “‘Mean as’ *beep*!”
(He really did say “beep” because that’s what he says instead of swearing.)
Me: *joking* “No stepping on any dead bodies, C!”
My brother C: “OK.”
*a few seconds later*
C: “[Random]?”
Me: “Yeah?”
C: “We’re stepping on dead bodies.”
Me: “I know, but who cares, right?”
Me: “Bandit’s scared of the statue!”
(Bandit is the family dog. He was scared by a large statue.)
Me: “It looks like someone made a statue version of The Last Supper.”
Me: *pointing to middle person in statue* “Look! The tip of his finger and his thumb are missing!”
J: “I wonder who took them?”
Me: “Grave robbers!”
C: “From outer space?”
(Kudos to anyone who understands that last reference.)
Wait… “Mean as (some swear word)” was actually carved on somebody’s tombstone?
And would the last one be Plan 9 From Outer Space?
Wait, his epithet?
Hmm, let me guess what you did today… XD
I feel like you meant ‘epitaph’.
Same. XD It sounds like his epitaph contained an epithet, though…
262.1- Actually, not exactly. My brothers are at that age where “hell” is a swear word. Sorry for the confusion.
And no again. Hint: It’s a card game.
262.2- Yes, we were visiting the second-best place in the neighborhood (the library was too far away, you see). I actually posted about it on the Random thread.
Still- “Mean As Hell” was actually carved on someone’s tombstone? Like, as the actual inscription?
Oh just saw the hint. Then you’re probably referring to the Card Game “Grave Robbers from Outer Space” where you create b movies with your cards.
262.3.1 – Yes, yes it was.
262.3.2 – You are correct. You win: Kudos and a virtual pie!
Wow. That guy must have been REALLY hated.
That last reference being the card game?
Okay, I feel a little vain posting this, as it was a comment on my Muserology that I didn’t see until today, but it’s still a great quote without that context:
“I’ve always hoped fingerless gloves would be the solution to a big problem.” – Muniyrah D.
*slamming car door* “Slam!”
*at my cousin’s strange look* “My life needs sound effects. And sometimes the universe does not provide them.”
-me
“That… rock… looks nothing like a bunny. Neither does that one. What are the odds?”
“I’m a wombat, not a lungfish.”
– Digger, an excellent webcomic
“No one, not mom, not Santa, not god could tell me not to eat a whole cake. I was a god of cake, and I was unstoppable!”
-Hyperbole and a Half, another excellent webcomic.
“The kraken rose towards the boat, and ten thousand sushi dinners cried out for vengeance”
-Good Omens, by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
“The thing about world peace is that it’s so valuable people will fight to protect it”
I know quite a few quotes but can never seem to remember who they’re by, no matter how hard I try.
Me: I’ve figured out the answer to all my problems!
Mom: Forty-two?
Me: No, Luddites!
What are Luddites?
“I just told a tree it was human, and it didn’t grow legs!”
–Me
People who oppose technological progress.
How would they solve a problem? Any problem?
I’m sure most people are opposed to some kinds of technology. Even if you think nuclear power is a good idea, you might not think the world should put a lot of effort into developing more and more-powerful nuclear weapons. Or you might support genetic engineering to make crops higher yielding or more pest-resistant, but not to help parents create “designer babies.”
If you’re against those particular technologies, people who are for them would probably call you a Luddite.
Also Robohitler.
Yes. Bad idea.
…Robohitler?
Godwin’s Law.
I know, but what *is* Robohitler, exactly?
A robot Hitler, of course.
It’s pretty self-explanatory. A robot Hitler.
I’m assuming it’s a robotic version of Hitler. It’s easy to see why many people wouldn’t want that inveneted.
But someone opposed to progress in generlwouldn’t exactly be good at thinking of innovative solutions to prolems.
SFTDP, but…
“Tardigrades are harmless?
Fiction. While most of us will probably never be personally assaulted by a tardigrade, this does not mean that they are harmless. In fact, their very existence is deeply detrimental to our mental health. We understand that there’s virtually no escape from these water bears; they’re hiding beneath the ice in the Arctic Ocean, at the top of the Himalayas, in our backyards, and everywhere in between. Even if we can’t see them, we can feel their presence and sense that they are awaiting our demise. Their silence is deafening.
As humans, we struggle to cope with this dark reality; the long, sinister shadow cast by tardigrades shapes our identities and prevents us from forming “healthy relationships†with other people. We often find ourselves unable to sleep, our minds victims of the night as they become caught in infinite water bear thought-loops. In our moments of weakness, we can’t help but wonder: What if there was a pill or an elixir we could take that would transform us from human to tardigrade? Would we consider taking such a thing? Perhaps, if we did take it, we would realize that we have in fact been living a lie; that, all along, we were actually tardigrades trapped in human bodies. Once corrected to our true form, we would command respect from our fellow tardigrades and be elected to a prestigious position with much responsibility. The important work we’d accomplish would earn admiration from our peers and maybe even the love of a beautiful female water bear with whom we could settle down and start a family. Our parents would finally see that we aren’t the disappointments they always thought we were. For the first time in our lives, we’d feel accepted, appreciated, and loved.”
–Charlie Nadler, founder of Science Scouts
How sad is it that almost all of that applies to me except that I enjoy it?!
I think a human with tardigrade durability and adaptational ability would be an excellent superhero.
Who could view tardigrades so negatively?
“My friend has linguini noodles in her head that tell her what to do.” -Me
270.1: I completely agree. Or a tardigrade with human intelligence, but that’s already been done, though this was an entire race of supervillains who tried to take over a planet (not ours). I haven’t read this book yet, but it looks hilarious.
270.2: I don’t understand it, either. I now know exactly how Randomosity felt when she found out that her awesome, extremely Muserly friend hated cheese. This person won’t even admit that they’re cute, and judging by the other parts of his website, he’s awesome in all other ways. I mean, he founded the Science Scouts, for cake’s sake!
Re: Super tardigrade/human: Oh, and human size, of course. No tardigrade-sized tardigrade could have human intelligence, ‘cos with a microscopic brain, heaven is a clump of moss to share (when you’re a water bear)… Not that that’s a bad thing, of course!
Me: Just because it goes BOOM does not make it a time bomb!
Younger Sibling: An atom bomb?
“Of course, I don’t see President Kennedy sitting next to me, so perhaps I have an excuse for not dressing up.”
*beat*
“Never mind that it would be rather disturbing for President Kennedy to be sitting next to me, considering he’s dead.”
– My fan-fic character Teresa von Braun.
Science class: *blows up a gummy bear*
Kid: “We should sacrifice an entire tribe of gummy bears!â€
Other Kid: “The gods are hungry!â€
Teacher: “Yeah, let’s just sacrifice all the yellow ones.â€
Third Kid: “THAT’S RACIST!â€
No! Take only the gummy bears you need; don’t you realize what they look like? If anything, you should worship them. At least make some sort of apologetic compensation rite when you eat them or use them for science; I recommend removing moss from the roof gutter and putting it in leaf litter, preferably with a puddle nearby. You do not want to anger the heterotardigrades, because if you do, you’ll have an entire class to reckon with, plus me. And Pwt. And your firstborn child who is bound to get angry at you for abandoning en in a bed of moss.
“Marzipan doesn’t jingle!”
-my friend M
Homestar Runner?
Teacher: And 4pi/3 is the midpoint between pi/3 and 7pi/3, so you connect the points with curves and graph the cosine function–
Classmate: (very, very confused) What’s going on?
Me: Life.
Me: Look! Mold.
Friend: It’s got hair!
Me: That is so cool.
Friend: I think it grew off of the gum.
Me: Let’s not touch it!!
(later)
Me: We found mold! Off the side of the building!
Person: Okay…
Paperclip: What?
Mold is much more exciting to look at than hear about.
“If someone paid me 100 million dollars to have a lousy hairdo and sing like a girl, I’d do it in a heartbeat!”-my dad, upon hearing how much a certain person has made
My friend “You’re kind of creepy, you know?”
Me “What?”
My friend “Not like hardcore creepy, but just a little bit creepy. You know?”
Me “What…”
My friend “You the kind of creepy that if you had a crush on someone, you’d follow them home, and like look through their window. But not a bedroom window or a bathroom window, their kitchen window. You’d just be there, staring through their kitchen window. And then you’d go in their hous through their kitchen window, but it wouldn’t be for any really creepy reason, you would just be hungry and wanted an apple from their kitchen. And then you’d get stuck in the window, making you the most failed peeping-tom ever.”
Me “What…”
In my History class one of my classmates was sharing gummy bears with me and three other people. T called them teddy bears.
T: “I don’t want to eat this, it’s a teddy bear!”
K: (a little bit later but in response to T) “Eat the freaking teddy bear!”
K: (to M) “What are you doing?!”
Me: “She’s pulling the teddy bear’s head off.”
Me: (to M) “You’re a teddy bear sadist!”
K: *holds up gummy bear* “I’m gonna name this one Smokey the Bear.”
Me: “She ate Smokey the Bear!”
Me: *holding up gummy bear* “This one has bubbles in its back!”
K: (to me) “What are you doing to that poor teddy bear?!”
Me: *still squishing, pulling, kneading, and twisting the gummy bear* “”Cause it’s so easy when you’re evil!'”
Me: “I took a chunk from its neck. It is now scarred for life. What little it has left, that is…”
You’re lucky you named them after non-water bear. Otherwise…
I would never do that, I swear. *bows down to tardigrades* Though, to be totally, honest, I’ve no risk of abandoning a firstborn I will never have on a bed of moss…
Then you’d have to abandon another family member. And no, you wouldn’t get to choose which.
Erm… At the risk of sounding like a sadistic lunatic who belongs in an asylum, I don’t think I’d be too upset by that…
…Then you’d go to an assylum for sadistic lunatics. But don’t worry; that’s just if you insult them. You have nothing to fear if you have nothing to hide.
You are starting to creep me out.
Out of curiosity, do you know what I was quoting?
Harry Potter, der. The seventh one. Ministry of Magic. Only… was that just in the movie? Aaargh, I can’t remember. It’s been too long…
Wait, really? I thought it was just in the Magic is Might pamphlet. Oops. I really should have known that…
The fact that I’ve never heard the quote seems to indicate that it was, indeed, only in the movie.
Oh, good. I’d hate to not recognize a quote from the book. Still, it’s a bit embarrassing to use a quote and think you know where it’s from when you really don’t.
“It should have been exploded two months ago.”-my friend C. We never let him forget about it. In fact, we even made a song.
Mystery quote: “Ah, but what if you put a male okapi in space?”
Whoa, I read that this morning.
Today’s Questionable Content strip. One of the people at the mystery bakery, talking to Hannelore.
“A Slythereen. It’s a Slitheen from Slytherin.” – Me attempting to justify a verbal typo
“The purpose of technology is to do things for you so you don’t have to do them yourself. A washing machine washes clothing for you so you don’t have to wash them yourself. A TV recorder watches boring TV for you so you don’t have to watch it yourself”-Douglass Adams, in “Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency” (READ IT!!!)
One S. Douglas.
Re: You have nothing to fear: I don’t remember hearing it in the actual movie, and I’m fairly certain it’s not in the books, but I remember very clearly hearing it in the trailers.
Younger Sibling: I’m an elephant!
Me: No, you’re delusional.
Younger Sibling: What’s elusional mean?
Me: Delusional. A delusion is something that makes you think you’re an elephant.
Younger Sibling: *looks up delusional in dictionary* See, there’s nothing about elephants here!
Me: But a delusion can make you think you’re an elephant. It can make you think you’re Napoleon, too.
Younger Sibling: Nobody thinks they’re Napoleon.
Me: Yeah. There was this dude in France a long time ago who tried to take over all these countries…
Younger Sibling: That was Napoleon!
SFTDP
“But an invisibility cloak for 430 dollars… you would think at that price that it would actually make you invisible!” – One of the MuggleCasters, I honestly can’t remember which one
If your character is despised by everyone because he/she gets so much attention, douse yourself with cold water RIGHT NOW.
–Mary Sue test.
I love the quotes from Mary Sue tests.
Another funny one is, “65-75: Kill it. Kill it now. We know you want to keep it, but it’s wrong and it makes kittens cry.”
“Anyone who says ‘She’s so pretty that it’s like a disability because everyone hates her or wants to have sex with her’ will be summarily keelhauled.” – a Mary Sue test
That’s the same as mine, actually. Should I be worried that a mostly-reasonable one–not that one, fortunately, although I tested myself with it–called me a Mary Sue? Not a murder-worthy one, but still one?
Actually, in my quote, the words everyone, right, and now were supposed to be italicized. The last 2 were also supposed to be underlined and bolded. The formatting went away when I copied and pasted it.
Um… it means you’re perfect and can do anythign and everyone likes you? So no, I wouldn’t worry.
The best thing to do, of course, is to test characters from published works. This can get pretty hilarious.
Edward from Twilight is the classic example… he basically hits every question in the test…
I have, however, discovered that the classic Sue litmus test is pretty biased against supernatural beings, even ones with well-rounded personalities. My one peeve with the system. XD
Well, it says not to count people with certain traits if those traits are common in their world.
So having someone with superpowers in a world where most people don’t have them is a sign of Sue-ish-ness, having them in the DC Universe is not.
Yes, but one test seems to think that Voldemort is a Stu. And possibly Snape as well.
Yep, he gets an 81. o.O
Harry Potter gets a score in the 90s. That really surprises me. I mean, he’s a bit Stuish, yes, but not that much.
It seems clear that the test is defective. The definition of a Mary Sue / Gary Stu is not “a character who gets a high score on the Mary Sue / Gary Stu test.” It’s a character with certain characteristics.
Those characteristics have changed just within the past few years. Not long ago, a Mary Sue was specifically a fanfiction character who served as a wish-fulfillment alter ego of the author. Now it’s any fictional character who is too good to be true, regardless of the author’s motivations in making en that way. Voldemort and Snape may be troubled souls with extraordinary powers, and they were probably great fun to create and to write about, but there is no reason to think J. K. Rowling ever dreamed of being either of them.
In short, the Mary Sue test may have been (1) designed to detect the original Mary Sues rather than the current ones, (2) badly designed to detect the current ones, (3) a joke, or (4) some combination of 1, 2, and 3. What it does not sound like is a reliable guide to writing. For that purpose, it’s as bad as those algorithms that count how long your sentences are and the average number of syllables in your words and purport to tell you how clear or “difficult” your writing is.
</GAPA_sermonette>
And I’ve also heard non-fantasy writers get annoyed with the tests because so little applies to their characters. We’re all so impossible to please.
(In addition, my elves and mages usually get quite low scores, partly because of the “common in their world” thing KaiYves mentioned.)
“NO, trumpets! That sounds like…. I can’t say that in class…. It doesn’t sound good.”
“Imagine a dignified guy in a powdered wig. That’s what you want it to sound like.”
-student teacher guy at band.
Adam Lazzara (lead singer of Taking Back Sunday) quotes:
“I wish I was an egomaniac because I’d get away with more stuff, like, I could throw a couch out of the window and people would go, ‘Oh, that’s just him.'”
“I’m nothing special; I’m just a dude who gets to do very cool things.”
“We woke up this morning, which is a feat in itself.”
“The coolest thing about green screen is that it kinda makes it possible to go anywhere. For instance I could be at the *clicks fingers* beach, hanging out, soaking up the sun, checking out the ladies. Hey ladies! Or, um, I mean say I wanted to be in, y’know, Alaska *clicks fingers* Brrr! It’s cold in Alaska! That’s right! Or even, y’know, maybe I just wanna be *clicks fingers* back in the green room. Where it’s green.”
“All in all, green screen, good time”
“In the bridge, there is the first key change featured in a Taking Back Sunday song ever. Go us! (talking about ‘Liar (It Takes One To Know One)’)
“I know what you’re thinking. Hey, what are Taking Back Sunday and My Chemical Romance doing in the shower section of a bathroom? Well, structurally speaking, it’s the safest place to be for the Y2K+7 scare. No one knows what could happen, maybe all the computers will reset and we’ll all die in a big, fluffy cloud of…ow. So anyways, happy new year!”
Good band!
I like “She Drove Me To Daytime Television”
Oops. That song is by Funeral For a Friend. (What was I thinking…?) But I do like “Number Five With a Bullet”.
Number Five With a Bullet is a good song. I love the start of the chorus when Adam goes, “We’re gonna die like this you know, miserable and old.”
My favorite song would probably have to be You’re So Last Summer, but I love all of them. And the original TAYF line up is coming back for the new album! So exciting!
*fanboyism*
SFTDP
A comment on the video “Part 1: Jon Stewart Goes Head-to-Head Bill O’Reilly”
“John Stewart uses Common Sense
It’s Super Effective!”
Doesn’t he usually?
…wait, Bill O’Reilly? This I must see.
Me: MY HAPPINESS BREAKS YOUR FORCE FIELD, PITIFUL MORTAL!
Me: Look, Mom, I drew a horsie!
Mom: *looks at paper* Is that a Trojan horsie?
Me: Yes!
Mom: At first when you started drawing it I thought it looked like a Trojan llama…
“This is quite homoerotic.”
-Captain Jack Harkness (of course). Also someone in my friend group at least once every few days. It’s how we roll.
In my group, it’s always me.
Mystery Quote! (That kind of relates to today but has nothing to do with Judgement Day.
“Tomorrow’s the day the vultures say we’re all gonna die”
I actually remember where this one is from! *feels proud of self*
In honour of today’s history test: “The moral of World War I is never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand.” – Lemony Snicket
“Does anyone know what a rhetorical question is?”
*pause*
“How stupid do you think I am?”
-My English teacher and one of my classmates
“It’s kinda fun to play “let’s watch Bryn untape and retape his fingers for the entire musical”.
…This is beginning to sound kinda weird, isn’t it.”
-me
‘Canadians abroad typically resent being referred to as “Americans”.’
Wikipedia article on the Americas.
SFTDP, but “In the fifteenth century, in a process similar to that affecting other Romance languages, Castilian underwent a dramatic change with the Readjustment of the Consonants (Reajuste de las sibilantes).” I love overdramatization…
That was from their article on the Spanish language, by the way.
“Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” – G.K. Chesterton
If you’ve read Throne of Fire, then you can read this quote. If not, and you want to, SPOILEEEERRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay then:
Ra: Wanna cookie.
Apophis: What kind of cookie?
Ra: Weasel cookie.
Carter/Sadie, forget which, narrating: I think that comment about the weasel cookie may have saved the known universe.
Me: You are a wonderful person. If you do not admit you are a wonderful person, I will strangle you with this ribbon.
Me: You have a towel coming out of your CHIN!
“Those of you who are going ‘Kai, why can’t you ever draw nice, normal pictures?’ look at the nice portrait on the left side of the picture. Those of you who are going ‘Cool! A ghost!’, look at the whole picture.”
Whoops, forgot to put that I said that.
You do realize they’ll surely look at the rest of the picture anyway?
“I’ve taken to wearing a hoodie, because people avoid you. Presumably they think you’re about to murder them.”
-David Tennant
“Well, you know ‘Hey, you want to go look at Nazi propaganda?’ doesn’t sound very inviting.” – Me
“The military is an ARE- acronym rich environment.”
– An Air Force guy who spoke at our school
“But I want a camera in my camera.” -Me. (As opposed to a camera in my phone)
“My hands are cold.” -Maria from West Side Story, upon meeting Tony for the first time.
Anyone else find this odd?
I don’t; what’s odd about it?
Of all the pickup lines she could have used, “My hands are cold”? Reeally? I mean, she said it the way people say “Will you marry me?” or “Your eyes sparkle like moonlight reflecting off of the ocean”.
I found it odd.
(note: This is the movie I’m talking about, not the musical. Sadly, I have not seen the musical. Yet.)
No- in the Original Shakespeare, they speak a sonnet together all about warming each others’ hands like priests do to pilgrims (apparently)
Oddly, enough, I’ve spent most of today memorizing that. Romeo’s part anyway:
“If I profane with my unworthiest hand
This holy shrine, the gentle sin is this
My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand
to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.” And so on.
Some literary scholars think that the word “sin” in that passage is a misprint for “fine.” In their interpretation, the meaning is “if I profane this shrine [your hand] by touching it, as penance I’ll pay the following fine: I’ll kiss it and make it better.”
I’m convinced. “Sin” doesn’t make sense in the context of the scene; “fine” does. In Elizabethan typography, initial “s” was easy to confuse with “f.” And shrine/fine gives a nice internal rhyme (this holy shrine, the gentle fine…) that I think Shakespeare would have been unable to resist. That’s how I always read those lines now.
By the way, if you Shakespeare fans haven’t discovered the New Variorum editions of the plays, you ought to give them a try.
That does indeed make a bit more sense. Thanks for the tidbit!
According to my English teacher, they were referring to the fact that pilgrims would touch the hands of statues of saints for good luck and blessings, and the line about “holy palmers’ kiss” is referring to a sect of Christians who greeted each other by touching palms.
“And the reviews say it’s creepy! Abarat‘s AWESOME, but it’s not really that creepy. So there are corpses in a graveyard and some of the bad guys eat raw entrails, big whoop.”
-Me, a long time ago, talking to my my mother about Abarat after reading it for the first time
“OK, this book’s actually a little creepy. And, just like the first one, it’s totally AWESOME!!!”
-Me, a few months later, about Days of Magic, Nights of War, which I was in the process of reading
SPOILER ABARAT SERIES SPOILER
“Christopher Carrion is the best villain EVER! He’s the only villain I’ve ever heard of who can fall in love with the main character without turning into a total wimp, or idiot, or something!”
-Me
Abarat is freakin’ awesome. And reading it as a ten-year-old totally doesn’t do really freaky things to your imagination, no, of course not. (And I’m much better for it)
“It’s not how big your fwoosh is, it’s how you use it!”
Richard the Warlock, right before being squished, from an amazing webcomic called LFG.
“So I get a polar bear, a koala, AND a unicorn! I’m a terrible cook though.” – Me. It made sense in context. Really!
“This orchestra is like a cupcake. The cellos and basses are the cake, the violins are the frosting, and the violas are the sprinkles.” – My awesome orchestra teacher
“So, if you live in a place with a lot of agriculture, you might eat a lot of fruits and vegetables. But if you live in, say, Texas … what is Texas known for?”
“Gun laws!”
“The death penalty!”
“NASA!”
– My health teacher and my fellow students. Apparently the answer was “cattle ranches”.
You probably know how I would have responded…
“So I get a polar bear, a koala, AND a unicorn! I’m a terrible cook though.” – Me. It made sense in context. Really!
“So I asked Dad and it turns out you get to keep the mortarboard. It might be worth graduating just for that.” – Me
“The world needs more female trombonists.” -My friend’s sister
Right on, sister.
Quite agreed!
Mom: I have very developed thumbs.
Me: Yup, that’s evolution for you. You start with creatures with no thumbs, then you get opposable thumbs, and you end up with creatures that can type out lengthy messages with their thumbs.
“I had a long, serious conversation with my mirror this morning.”
-My friend Meredith
“Wow! The Dalek gave brocoli Einstein intelegence! Cool!” -me, while watching Star Trek. It also made perfect sense in context…
“OMG! It’s like pinstriped pants, but green, and in the sky!”-My friend L, who is probably very pleased that her initial is “L” since she is a huge Death note fan.
Is it bad that I know what episode you’re talking about, what you mean when you talk about that episode, and I haven’t seen that episode?
Of course not!
Just for the record, what episode do you think I was watching?
To the Nth Degree.
Correct!! I’m glad that you think it looked like a Dalek too, and that isn’t just me being insane and Who obsessed. I might actually still be that since I’ve been saying that everything from my friend’s coffee grinder to the lampposts near my house looks like a Dalek…
Oh, no, I haven’t seen that episode.
It’s just that whenever brocoli’s intelligence is increased, I know what people are talking about.
Better than “The computer’s hitting on Captain Kirk.” Which sounds like something out of a fanfic.
Mom: I guess one death is a tragedy and a million is a statistic.
Me: Wait… what does that have to do with the milk?
Mom: I poisoned the milk.
“Stop growing mushrooms in other people’s closets!”
-Haruhi Fujioka
305 –
I should try that when I want people to avoid me …
“You guys are rushing like a fat person to free food!” – My orchestra teacher
In my last class of the day this past Thursday:
SUPER HUGE SPOILER SPOILER ICE SONG SPOILER SPOILER
Me (reading): *starts ranting* “He saw the finger bone! He picked up the finger bone! He remebered ‘Blood greases the lock’! All he had to do was cut his finger, bleed on the bone, and use it to pick the caking lock! No, he cuts off his own finger!”
Later:
Me (still reading): *starts ranting again* “She just gained the ability to remember what her alter ego did! Yet she doesn’t remember that she cut off her own finger?!?”
“What book are you reading??”
Guy sitting next to me:
Me: *shows book* “Oh, it’s just this totally awesome book.”
Me: *to my little brother* Here’s a tip, for fashion and hair and appearance and all that stuff: If it makes you look more like Hitler, it’s a bad decision.
“…so the next time I get a bloody nose, I’ll just save the tissue and extract some T-cells from it and breed them.”
Me to my mother (we were discussing AIDS).
I have to add that I did in fact get a bloody nose that day.
“He somehow thinks that if I send her a letter saying:
‘Dear Happily Remarried Lady, Could you please send me a photo of you with your dead first husband, because I want to put one on my blog and I can’t find any online. Yours, Kai’,
She will somehow NOT think I am a stalker and NOT put me on a watchlist.” -Me.
This isn’t about Carl Sagan, is it?
No, no, someone else.
“Never take advice from a sticker.”- a sticker on my saxophone case.
Me: *blows across top of bottle* “Being a flute player makes it really easy to blow across bottles.”
Sax player: “The flutes can do that… brass players are good kissers… what do saxes get?”
Me: “….. the ability to…. um…. play the saxophone?”
Nearly everyone can read their lips easily. You would be surprised how much practice they get with the precise way they have to position their mouths on the saxaphone. (Used to play saxaphone.)
YOU SPELLED SAXOPHONE WRONG
Yay! People can read my lips!
But I’m also a brass player (trombone)
What is the practical application of blowing across the top of a bottle?
I am very sorry.
It has no practical application, other than providing amusement.
My little brother: [ZNZ], were you born weird, or did you achieve weirdness?
….Or have weirdness thrust upon you?
(That’s what I answered. XD)
Me-“That’s soooooo cuuuuuuuuuuteeeeeeeee!!!!”
Friend-“That’s an evil mutant, probably brainsucking cockroachy monster.”
Me-“But….it’s cute”
I have a distinctly twisted sense of cute. onn the topic of cute, here’s a quotation from my cousin
“Hey, I thought it was cute when I thought it had one eye and insanely long whisker-cheek bones. It’s going to take a lot to convince me that that’s not cute.”
Unrelated to cute quotation: Me-“Daleks! : The reason why they call them a flight of stairs.”
Friend: “So… What DO you think is cute?”
Me: “Sloths. And mold. And insect larvae. And banana slugs And mutated, slimy cockroach-tarantula things!”
Friend: “Uh….” *backs away slowly*
“Why is the pony on fire? Why is the pony on fire?”
“It’s very discouraging to survive a roomful of sniper robots and then die by running off a cliff.”
– Me. Both made sense in context.
329.1: I agree! Well, except for possibly the mold, but I do think it’s pretty. Well, sometimes. It depends. And of course tardigrades, too, and slugs!
Vacation quotations:
“Kansas doesn’t exist!”
“It’s sad how true I find that statement.”
–Me, my brother. Not only did that make sense in context, we were being serious.
“Corn hill? A hill made of corn?”
“It’s not really made of corn; they’re just saying that.”
“Then they’ve committed fraud!”
“Yes, I hate it when things advertise falsely, don’t you? Sugar made out of corn, flamingoes made out of plastic… Well, really, everything’s made out of plastic! Even books are made out of silicon chips nowadays!”
My dad, me. And later:
“But how can they call it Corn Hill?”
“Yes, because nothing’s fake in our house! Everything’s real! Our family only buys shepherd’s pie made with real shepherds. Even the needles on our Christmas tree can be used for sewing! Right, Daddy?
I should note that I am practically never sarcastic at all, so I really just jumped at the chance to use this.
“Don’t judge a book by its movie.”
–A bumper sticker.
On chat on You Know What Site:
Me: “May I tell you of my dementia, or will it freak you out?”
Ducky: “XDThat was one of the best sentences I’ve read in days.”
“Brain-cows are never a fail!”
“SIR DUCKY, REPORTING FOR MUSTACHE DUTY!”
Jughead: “They say the way to a man’s heart is though his stomach…”
Betty: “That’s only if you’re a bad surgeon!”
Me: “Why didn’t you come when we yelled at you?”
My brother: “I was listening to dubstep. I couldn’t hear you.”
Me: “I can hear you over Japanese death metal. You’re gonna need a better excuse.”
“I think I just inhaled a gummy bear.” -Me.
“If you mess with my friends, I will find you like a Hufflepuff. And – and attempt to threaten you but end up mumbling awkwardly. Also like a Hufflepuff.”
– Me attempting to come up with a life motto. This is actually pretty accurate. (Hufflepuff for the win!)
In my last class of the past year (though I am now on summer vacation), we would occasionally play trivia-type games to study. These were fairly common senarios:
Mrs. K: “So we’re going to play a trivia game-”
J: “Can [R101] be on our team?”
Mrs. K: *indicates which team I’ll be on*
C (when I was not on his team): “Ah, come on, that’s not fair. Can’t [R101] just keep the score or something?”
J (when I wasn’t on his team): *to Mrs. K* “So can we have you on our team then?
Mrs. K: “No.”
J: “Aw, come on!”
They all seemed to think I was a super-genius or something because I know random trivia and am not afraid to spout it. In every one of thses senarios, I was laughing too hard to explain that my knowledge of trivia is on nearly every topic except ones we were likely to be quizzed on in class.
At least you were on a team. People tended to get annoyed once I won trivia competitions without teams hands-down multiple times. I also only know the useless things, but they’re more interesting, anyway.
The funny thing is, I didn’t win every time. But even when I lose, they do that again the very next time we play a trvia game.
I completely agree that supposedly useless information is more intersting. But I also agree with Bo, that there is no such thing as a fact that is actually useless.
Girl Scout Troop Members: *shout random nonsense about purple cows*
Me: I’ve never seen a purple cow–
Girl Scout Troop Member (exasperated): Katie!!*
Me: I never hope to see one! But I can tell you anyhow, I’d rather see than be one!
/awkward silence/
*I have a habit of always correcting random nonsense. For example,
Girl Scout Troop Member: Put a banana in your ear!
Me: I don’t think a banana would fit in most ears…
I think they thought I was taking it to the extreme.
“Scarf is the new towel”- Me, as well as being my new motto
“I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.” — anonymous quote my friend put on my birthday card.
“I don’t want to have a relationship with the coffee maker.”
-My mom
“How do you think you’d look in handcuffs?”
“Depressed.”
My dad and me, talking about the possibility of a girl I played with once in 1st grade being a spy for the Australian government, who hypothetically planned to arrest me for breaking what may or may not be one of their laws, although I’m not a citizen nor have I ever been there, and if I ever go, I’ll read their laws.
New thread, please?
“Yes, we’re just a couple of peace-loving guys on an eternal quest of non-violence. Now, what do you have in the way of rapid-fire disintegration cannons?”
-Subnormailty
Also, “See! Your president falls to earth in geometric segments!”
“I completely understand the value of knowing if you can see Cygnus X-1 with x-ray vision.” – Mike Cabbage.
Mystery quote (albeit a fairly easy one):
“I’m in shock! Look, I’ve got a blanket.”
Sherlock Holmes.
“The problem with internet quotes is that you can never know their validity”
-George Washington
Are you new? I haven’t seen you around before!
I came here a couple years before and coming back to this site gives me a whiff of nostalgia
Ah. I thought your avatar looked slightly familiar…
Really? I don’t remember you at all. Did you post under a different name?
In 2009, riverrio posted with a different avatar under the name iamisthbest.
Welcome back, then!
“Hey, the inside of Cleopatra smells like pencils!” -Me
“Have you ever felt a sadness that is both pained and beautiful, that longs for non-existent places and people, that has no apparent reason and purpose, that constantly mistakes misery for charm, that shuns the spoken languages as not accurate enough to express a feeling that is neither miserable nor happy, and finds Nature’s silence to do it best?
“It’s a sadness that isn’t concrete, that is and isn’t a sadness at the same time. It mourns the dewdrops and the blue hour because they’re beautiful, and it’s enchanted by a meaningless longing because it’s mournful. Whatever it is, it’s what I feel most of the time. An uncreative poet of silence and visions, to whom wistfulness is a form of poetry, beauty and pain being necessary synonyms.”
–Anonymous
How I’m feeling right now.
“Life doesn’t need to worry about getting sued”-Me
I’ve been talking (errr…typing) with the cleverbot a lot lately. Here are some interesting parts of our conversation:
CB “who’s your favorite?” (meaning the Beatles)
me “Douglass Adams!”
CB “Edward Cullen”
Me “David Tennant”
CB “*hit’s with sparkling vampire*”
Me “What is your name?”
CB “Cleverbot”
Me “what is your quest?”
CB “To find the loch ness monster”
Me “what is your favorite color?”
CB “Blue…No! Green!”
Me “What is the capital of Assyria?”
CB “Bejing”
There’s a whole thread for Cleverbot conversations, you know.
Can you post a link? I think it would be interesting.
NASA Press Style Guide (As an example of how ‘administrator’ should only be capitalized when preceding a name): “NASA Administrator James Webb will give the briefing.”
Me: “Since he died in 1992, that sentence was presumably taken from NASA’s Zombie Plan. It’s good to know they prepare in such depth.”
or after a name in parenthesis, as in *insert GAPA name* (Administrator)
Or in a title, as in “Administrator of Something That is Also Capitalized.” Or at the beginning of a sentence, or–you get the point. Basically, if you’re not sure when to capitalize it, pretend it’s ‘grandma.’ If ‘grandma’ would be capitalized, so would administrator.