And here’s something to argue about.
Patience, Please
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No, This Is Pie War 2007.2, Part 1
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Yes! We’ll argue about which thread to keep! Yes! Let me think…
I’d prefer to keep the first one. DOWN WITH This Is Pie War (TIPW)! Up with PW (Pie War)!
And on the chocolate-vanilla issue: I prefer vanilla.
I think that we should designate one thread “Vanilla” and one thread “Chocolate”, then we can invade each other’s threads with our Pieish armies.
I am neither Choclate nor Vanilla, but Blackberry, therefore I wander nomadically. And make treaties and the like.
2- Hmph. I like this one better anyway. *pies Prarilius Canix*
Is there anyone here who prefers Chocolate? That’s my natural bias.
By default, this thread appears to be Chocolate territory.
5- Yes.
I am wandering through a strange land. The streams run sluggish and brown, and are sweet to the taste. I drank my fill and continued on my journey. There are trees here, which are heavy with brown fruit, and Jersey cows wander among them, drinking from the brown streams and nibbling the brown sweet grass. I see a castle in the distance, perhaps I shall go closer and ask the inhabitants what they call this marvelous land.
And this one is vanilla. Bwahaha.
Let’s just have two seperate pie wars.
What is this?
6- Unnoticed by Alice, a white-clad person vanishes into the trees and returns to Fort V.
7- It’s chocolate.
8- Let’s not.
9- We’re fighting over which thread to keep and which ice cream flavor is better.
10- After a while, I tired of sitting under this brown bush and nibbling blades of grass, so I stood up and headed towards the castle. It is as brown as everything else in this land, and were it not for the flat plains out of which the castle sticks like an upside-down ice cream cone, I would surely have been lost. I have been reduced to staring at my purple dress for relief from the varying shades of brown, and even that is slightly stained from the dust of the road.
Anyway, could we just have one thread? It’s a pain having to switch back and forth. I’m setting up fort on the other thread.
Other thread!!
Oh, pie war(s?). While I do enjoy choklit, I shall keep my side.
Glassboro, I’ll probably mainly be on this thread seeing things out in this country. You can be second-in-command, and oversee how the war goes on the other thread. If I don’t check that one and something appens, please notify me.
*sets up fortress* The Jadestone side is still accepting members. If you join, you get your own opinion about whatever we end up fighting about/for.
There is so much brown here, it’s a bit of a relief that the fortress is up. The green hus provide a nice touch to an otherwise drab landscape.
NONONONONO!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU’RE THROWING THE PIES ALL WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As a veteran of the original Pie Wars, I feel I am qualified to tell you that. How about we revive the old Chuck Norris vs. Watership Down thing? Many of you weren’t here then, so it’s an old conflict made new!
I am making the side of the war known as The Opposition (The Op for lazy ones like myself). We will wander about and commit mild acts of mayhem. Who will join me? I will create PWMD (pie weapons of mass-destruction) once more and pwn… at least for a moment.
*arms self with Sword of Endless Creme-filling, charges into the din, clogging arteries as I go*
I vote for jadestone! her side win the most!
15- please talk to jadestone. I think the jadeops should
15- We haven’t started throwing pies yet, have we? I’m taking a different approach this time, with a sort of story rather than asterisks, though I’ll have plenty of those too.
At length I reached the castle, only to find that it is not a castle, but merely an anomaly in the landscape, shaped amazingly like a castle. There are no doors or windows, but it tastes very good. I was making a lunch of it, when I saw in the distance a glimpse of green. I abandoned the castle-hill, and started towards it.
I like vanilla.
15- I’ve tried to revive them… It didn’t work.
16/17- What? You don’t vote for sides… And I don’t especially want to have the JadeOps again, not yet at least.
I’m staying out of this. It was hard enough with one thread. Maybe once in a while for entertainment I’ll randomly walk in and throw a pie.
We never really rebuilt civilization after the Chuck Norris/Watership Down wars. Chronicles of Museica kind of died, I left after they added Museland.
*ducks whatever pastry happens to be in the air, leaves*
14- Oh, thanks. Actually, probably a good idea, seeing as there are two threads.
15- Die, Op! *pies with … •thinks• Oh, whatever.**hits with soard of perfect sweetness*
And now, I’m going to leave this thread for a bit. Will some Ops go to the other one? I’m feeling lonely over there…
Isn’t this the chocolate thread?
20- I would have loved to revive the CN/WD thing, but I assumed that people from the old days would find it boring. And this is fun, anyway.
cool. if this one’s chocolate, I like it better here. Whee!
I’m on the chocolate side…or am I? *shifty eyes* Hmm. I have to think about this. I eat swirled ice cream. I could be the Snape of the pie wars, and nobody will know what side I’m on until the end. I guess I’ll be on chocolate for now, since that was the last kind of ice cream I had. *Begins making pies to supply future chocolate army*
24- Why yes.
I am only about five feet away from the castle-hill when a brown root shoots out of the chocolate-colored underbrush and twines around my ankle. I fall flat on my face, there are footsteps above me, and I remember no more.
When I come to, I am lying in a brown dungeon. There is a sticky floor and a bitter smell that is nonetheless not unpleasant. I lay there, still, for a moment, and then I sit up and pull a shred of chocolate out of my hair.
“Ugh! There’s such a thing as too much! I wish I could back home. I wonder where Ecila is?”
I walk as far as my chains will allow me, and then suddenly have an idea! How obvious! I sit down and begin to nibble on the chain attached to my right foot. It is thick and so sweet it stings my mouth. Clearly it is meant to taste bad. This could take a while . . .
(15) Gwen!!!!! I haven’t seen you around here for AGES!! Then again, that may be because I myself have not been around here for ages either! HURRAY! Thank you so much for reviving the Op. WE PWN!!
Now, as I recall, you were the technological genius in those sweet days. What fine pastry-launching devices do you have waiting in the wings for this war, may I ask?\
I remember I had a certain Pie Pistol that was quite handy, but there were a lot of other pretty froody things that you invented, too. I’d have to go back and browse the old threads to find them, though…
OP FOREVER!
*basts off, showering surround musebloggers with masses of vegemite pies*
20-fine. when I vote for side I ment go with them. I’m going with jadestone
the first list of piers(is that right?)
vannilla
prarlililus canix
dancegirl13
chokit(is this the side?or is there a chokit and chocolete side?)
unintended pun(?)
widdershins(e~a)
jadestone side
jadestone
the man for aeiou
glassboro
ops
the skipper nacny
gwean of the eastern sea
blackbarry side
alice/ecila
the contrdictors
koko du pelle
stormwatcher side
stromwatcher
I’ll make a move in my next post. this is more a rpg then a pie war so far.
I prefer chocolate to vanilla, so I’ll post here.
28: I was walking along to the topmost turret of the castle, just to see how the war was progressing, when I heard movement from the dungeons. Deciding that the dungeon is more interesting (and closer!) than the tower, I turn left and walk down the long, winding staircase that leads to dungeon number five. I hesitate, take a deep breath, then knock on the sticky brown door.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I watch with glee as the pie streams through the air straight towards the Choclate fortress. Direct hit! I sneak out of my hiding spot and creep towards the Vanilla headquarters. It’ll be a long journey, but I need to get there before nightfall. With any luck, the Choclate troops won’t know I am on the Vanilla side…
I’m confused…
33- And well you might be! Don’t worry. You’ll get the droop of it.
Vanilla
Prarilius Canix
Dancergirl13
Piggy
Chocolate
Unintended Pun
widdershins (e~a)
violindino
Jadestone Side
Jadestone
the man for aeiou
Glassboro
Ops
The Skipper Nancy
Gwendolyn of the Eastern Seas
Blackberry
Alice
Ecila (we’re two different people in this thing, remember!)
The Contradictors
Koko du Pelle
Stormwatcher Side
Stormwatcher
~~~~~
I am only a little ways through the bad-quality chocolate chain, and just about rad to swear off chocolate for life, when there is a knock on the door.
“What are you knocking for? This is a dungeon! Come in!”
29 *gets all teary* SKIPPER NANCYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs up and gives giant hug* When did you come back? I returned a few weeks ago… Anyway, these greenhorns are carrying on with the pastry-flinging in a way that is completely incorrect. Let’s show ’em how it’s really done!
*does several complicated maneuvers with Sword of Endless Creme-Filling; flips off to original threads to compile a complete list of pie weapons*
That’ll be posted later today.
COMPLETE LIST OF OP PIE-WEAPONS FROM THE OLD WARS
Sword of Endless Creme-Filling
Belt of Ginger-and-Nutmeg-Flavored Crusts
Crumbly
Crumbly 2.0
Crumbly 3.0
The Kokopelli Classic-Perpetual Pie Machine Hybrid
Twenty-Ton Tank of Tart Flavoring
The Neutral Knockout Shield
Arrows of Limitless Lingdonberry
Spear of Encrusted Dessert Pastries
Automatic Pie Ovens
Scimitar of Super-Sweetness
The Holy Pie Grenade
Multiple Pies of Doom
Whip of Creme
Pike of Kingdom Pienamalia
Dagger of Death-By-Dessert
Battering Ram of Boysenberry
Pistol of (insert flavor here) Pie
Numchucks of Nicely-Baked Vegetable Pie
Staff of Artificially and Naturally Sweet Victory
Bayonet of Banana Creme
Jitte of Jujube Pie
The Boomerang of Blackberry
Pietanium Armor
Tomahawk of Tootsie-Roll Pies
Whew! If you want me to explain the functions of a certain weapon, please request it. These weapons have Unbreakable Anit-Theft Shields, and are available exclusively for use of The Op. I will be creating more when the team number exceeds five. For now, I shall give the to Op members that ask for them.
ALSO
We would love another Pie-Animal expert. I tried to take over the post, but…. I failed. All Ops have Yeti Horses and whatever special animals they decided to keep from the last war. I have Borealia, my wonderful cherry pie-breathing dragon, and Minoana, my Yeti horse.
No sooner had I knocked when a voice answered me. “What are you knocking for? This is a dungeon! Come in!” Strange, I thought. It didn’t sound as if it was a vanilla prisoner. In fact, it sounded familiar- like pomegranates, no blackberries. Definately blackberries. It was only wishful thinking that there would be someone else from the pomegranates. It had been months since I had seen anyone else from the fruit lands, so I opened the door. The smell of unsweetened chocolate met me as I pushed open the door. I stepped in, and the door shut with a decisive snap behind me. Blinking in the sudden darkness, I saw a girl in a purple dress. I fingered my red necklace nervously. If a prisoner from the blackberries was here, did that mean they had entered the pie war too? Was war ravaging the whole country, even as I stood here?? Calm down, I thought, smoothing my brown dress. You entered this dungeon, you have to do something. “Hello?” I called out nervously. “Who are you? Why are you here?”
*
I am going to the fort,fort jadestone, to report the news that the rumor is correct: the ops have taken out there old pie wepons!
but we, the great and mighty jadestone side knew there was going to be anoather war. we joined the ops to find the weaknestess. ha!
A large pie is hurtling out of the sky and towards the Chocolate fortress. It is filled with vanilla, banana, orange, and blind cavefish.
Oh, wait. It already hit, as Piggy made clear. Ignore 37.
I think I’ll join the Jadestones.
41- Welcome to th mayhem that is MuseBlog! *pies* Or wait–are you new?
~~~
When I said this, the door opened and a girl in red came in. The door shut behind her. “Hello?” she said. “Who are you? Why are you here?”
“My name is Alice,” I replied. “I haven’t the slightest idea why I’m here. I was driven out of my home in Blackberry by war, and I lost my sister and my way. Next thing I knew, I was in this horrible dungeon. Who are you?”
Oh wait. Make that a girl in brown.
I like chocolate cream pie. What is this thread supposed to be about?
My sole purpose in pie is to cause havoc.
bwahahaha.
*piepiepiepie*
44- no. this is a pie war therd! there are sever sides. here what there are and whos with them:
Vanilla
Prarilius Canix
Dancergirl13
Piggy
Chocolate
Unintended Pun
widdershins (e~a)
violindino
Jadestone Side
Jadestone
the man for aeiou
Glassboro
jasper E.
Ops
The Skipper Nancy
Gwendolyn of the Eastern Seas
Blackberry
Alice
Ecila
The Contradictors
Koko du Pelle
Stormwatcher Side
Stormwatcher
~~~
*
the jadstone side is attacking vannilla.
I am working a a pieing sytem that will attack both the vainnias and the choletes at the same time.
Zemtee revival! I Shoot jadestone whif purpleberry pie pistol!
This is not an RRR or RPW, people! Say things like *pies jadestone* and *enters cave* not, “Hello, Alice, my name is goober”! Some people…
41- Welcome! I suppose it’s a coincidence that Jasper is one of my favorite names, heh. *welcome pies*
47- No, we’re tryinh the writing as a new form of fighting. It’s much more interesting.
so are there any special priveliges that go with being a Jadestone? Or do I just have to pie people?
47- *pies agagabagabag* Why do you care?
48- It’s such a coincidence that I thought maybe you were making alter egos or something. But I guess you weren’t. Curiouser and curiouser.
42: I’m violindino, and I’m visiting my cousins here in chocolate. I’m from pomegranate, but the war stopped me from going home. I’ve been stuck here for three months now. If you want, you can come up to my room in the castle and I’ll try to help you. But we’ll have to be careful- security here is really tight. If they see your purple dress, we’ll both be sent to the dungeons for questioning.
51- “You’re from fruit too? That’s wonderful!” As we walk up the stairs, I ask, “What war are you referring to? I know there’s one going on in Blackberry, but I didn’t know it extended to Chocolate!”
So do I get access to the fortress? A pie cannon? A proton accelerator made from paper clips?
You get a fortress and a cannon, at least you did last time I checked.
29- You haven’t been gone that long. A month or two, maybe.
52: As we walked up the stairs, I told Alice about the pie war. “Chocolate and Vanilla have been enemies for a long, long time. The war has been fought on and off for at least twenty years,” I said. “The only good thing that can be said is that nobody ever dies- but nobody wins either.” We reached the top of the staircase. “Let’s avoid going through the main hall,” I said. “That way, no one will see us. We’ll have to go outside- here’s an umbrella. It’s just sprinkeling here, but in Vanilla they’re getting wafers.” We walked quickly through the chocolate sprinkles and went in a side door. Finally, after going up six flights of stairs, we reached my room. At last! Relief from the unvarying brown. I had put all the pink and red things I brought from Pomegranate in plain sight, and shoved the brown dresses I wore in the castle into the wardrobe. “I couldn’t stand seeing so much brown,” I explained. “I’m used to bright colors, being from fruit and all.”
56- I nodded sympathetically. “I wear purple mostly, but this brown is definitely getting on my nerves.” I looked out the window, where I had seen the glimpse of green earlier in the day. It wasn’t there. “What will people say when they see me?” I asked. “I don’t look or sound like I come from Chocolate, and they might not be very happy about that.”
(35) HI! When did I get back? Well, I’ve been home for a while, (I started school last monday) but I haven’t been on the Blog much at all lately…trying to curb my internet addiction, you know…(gasps of horror from the chorus)…but it’s good you’re here, now we can show them how Pie Wars are really fought.
*pops 50 spinach pies in Pie Oven, then runs cackling to the Pie Cave*
Oh, and just a note, folks- it’s The Op, not the Ops. We are one united force. Yeahhhhhhhhhh
58- Oh yes, internet addiction. Curbing it.
Right.
*sticks her tongue out at the people laughing uproariously*
36- I had a pie sling-shoot given to me when I joined up with the Nutrals so long ago. I will continue to use it, but if it bothers you I will not se it against the Op, only the Choklit and VInilla. I will continue to pie the Op in the normal maner, however.
49- Well, you get to have whatever opinion you want about choklit/chocolate/vinilla, or hot-pink-bunnies, or anything. And a pie cannon, plus access to any of our fortresses and supplies.
50- I would almost suspect myself of that, actually.
53- Yup! How’d you know?
Well, we’re still working on the proton accelerator. Not so sure it’ll be ready for this war. We’re not nearly as good as Chad.
Unfortunatly, this drizzle has staned our green fortress so instead of shining green, it’s instead a dull brown color that matches the landscape. Currently, I am looking for a way of washing all this dirt off so we are not mistaken for Choklit, but I’m having trouble finding water that’s not sweet brown. I may end up having to just give th whole thing a new coat of paint, this time weather-proof, something I didn’t have to worry about in the last war. Oh well. Untill it stops raining, i think I’ll go visit Ishtar (my pie-polor bear, for those of you who don’t remember) in the stables now.
60- Was that a subtle hint that you were playing with alter egos?
46) Oh. I shall join the vanilla peoples. Vanilla is cool. can I pie people now? Can I pie you? *pies*
I am of the orange party, and I fight for none. I side with both. I refuse to spy.
Alice, dost(?) thou mind if I also take an alter ego, for I cannot bring myself to chose between the noble sides of Vanilla and Chocolate?
[“Dost” is correct. Well done! –Robert]
61- Nope. Amazingly, that is not an alter ego of mine. I would suspect myself of creating an alter-ego with that name and using it too, but I know I haven’t.
*aims pie cannon towards Choklit, fires single key-lime pie at the only open window* Drat! It only hit the sill! Maybe I can get one more shot in before the close it… *fires* Ah! Good. Sailed right through. Wouldn’t have done much damage, but it was fun. *watches window for reaction*
Oh goodness is this going to reflect on the land of Museica? For after the first few pie wars the land was destroyed…But I once again back the Op I am once again equipped with the Jitte of the banana creme now only if I could remember my horse’s name… Good Day Gwendolyn! How may I help?
57: “You can borrow some of my brown clothes. As long as you wear them around the castle nobody will bother you. We’ll still try to stay away from huge crowds of people here, though.” *gives brown dress and shoes to Alice*
Ah…went back to the old Pie War Threads and found my Yeti Horse (Taraxacum officinale).
58- I am still assuming the Op is offering the same as last war?
*Retreats to Tower* And once again I am recording Librarian ^_^
66-no this is in choklit and vinilla. and there a land of fruit.
i’m going to give a leson on geogahphy of this land:
caslte choklit is in the midilde if chokit and is 20 miles from castle vinnilla, as the pie flies. inbetween c and v is fort jadestone and fort op. arond c and v are the lands of fruit.
interesting territory…
*grabs large stash of pie weapons and sets out on secret mission*
I have returned with valuable documents about vanilla, which I will use to help our planning as soon as the fortress computer has decoded them. Now to re-calibrate the anti-theft shield on my pie weapons so that only the other jadestones and I can use them…
66- Jitte of Jujube, DAW. Good to have you on our side. Well, we must go back to The Op’s fortress for now, and strategize. I think most of the best features are still intact, and I’ll fix those that aren’t. We have the pie mines, of course, and my lab, as well as the animal stables. If you want to volunteer to be the new Pie Animal Caretaker, be my guest. We need one.
PERKS THAT COME WITH BEING PART OF THE OP
-Your own spacious, luxurious living quarters inside The Op’s fortress. They come with a choice of 347 decors (this number soon to increase), an up-to-date computer featuring wireless interenet capabilities and flat screen, a plasma television, a full master bath, a master bedroom, your selection of Muse back issues and various novels, and optional adjacent greenhouse.
– 24-hour access to the kitchens, where computerized gourmet chefs can whip up anything you have a craving for.
– Liscense to 15,550 tons of pie from the Mines a month (the pies replenish on a monthly basis, and they are quite extensive).
-Your selection of any of my weapons, and the rights to a Yeti horse and your very own Pie-Animal. You will receive a new piearm at request. The ones I have in stock are perfectly good, however, and have served our past veterans well.
Pretty schweet, huh?
I sneak past the guards through the usual tunnel. Upon entering the weapons stockroom, I see that it has been foolishly left unguarded. Perfect. Grabbing just a few inconspicuous weapons near the back, I adjust my position and crawl back through my tunnel. I still can’t believe the Chocolate troops haven’t found it yet. I’d better not become too reliant on it, though. They could find it any day, with as many troops as they have… Oh, well. I now have enough parts to complete the last of the weapons the Vanilla forces need to destroy the Chocolate menace. Heh heh heh…
I’ve been walking all day, and I can finally see the chocolate headquarters. I’m so excited I start running. When I get to the entrance, I almost drop my key. I rush inside and start telling everyone I see about the situation in Vanilla. “They’re stuck in the cave because the wafers are so thick.” I tell everyone that I think they’re planning an attack. “If there are enough volunteers to push through the wafers, I’ll lead a raiding party to Vanilla.” Some young men run off to tell everyone about my plan. I hope the wafers keep coming until we’re back in Vanilla territory.
75) Oh! Cool! We have weapons?
Alright, the Jadestone fortress is gleaming green again. This new type of pain shouls be more resiliant to this weather.
Also, the first large trench around the fort has been almost finished. We will pour filling into it when it’s compleated, which should make an effective moat. On the close bank I have installed several of our pie cannons, which could be used against anyone trying to aproach our fortrress.
Note that while the cannons can swivel a bit for aiming, they do not turn far enough to blast at the cannons near them or back towards the fortress. Any attepts to force the cannons to shoot those ways will disarm them. I think that’s a good measure of protection there, no we shall work on our offensive, our defenses will hold for now..
“heh…almost through to the fortress….gotta stick to th’ eye….ready cannons men!”
74-Alright I volunteer to be Animal Caretaker until someone else wants to join. Also are we fighting for Vanilla or Chocolate or are we the usual Neutral? But tatics are everything who is on our roster?
Lady Cinnamon Moon of Orange chose the path leading to the green castle when she entered Chocolate. She reached the far side of the moat, and called out;
“Is any man or woman there? If so, I beg thee to let me enter, for I have walked far and for many days, and I am weary. I am no enemy.”
I like pie. It tastes good. *pies self for fun*
I warily looked out one of the pie-throwing-slots in my Fortress’s wall, and was surprised to see a lady wearing an orange robe and covered with dust from walking. She obviously did not belong to either Choklit or Vanilla, likely she was from orange or nectarine, or perhaps even peach. It was hard to tell from this distance, but I could hear a slight accent and she was wearing the proper colours. “As long as you mean no harm to the Jadestone side, you are welcome to enter our fortress and rest and eat for as long as you need.” Hurrying down a flight of stairs, I managed to lower the drawbridge and raise the portcullis so our visitor could enter.
“OY! the gates ‘r open, and in veiw! Open fire, men!”
*Watermellon cannons open fire at the open gates rapidly, as the pastry queen swoops down from the sky*”Ready,men…drop!”
*Selection of Captain Gimanator, Gusteau, and fredrick drop from the pastry queen with parachuts and lime rifles*
ah, whoops. never mind. I am attacking chocolate castle…hehe…
DAW- We are the proud, the few, The Op. We will careen about the thread and commit mild acts of mayhem. Mwahahahaha.
Ok, this is chocolate. Supergeek ready for action!
Isn’t anyone going to respond to my attack? If not…I’LL RAZE IT TO THE GROUND! muhuhuhuhahahahahehehe…
*Constant rapid fire of watermellon cannons start to take down remaining pie cannons*
We come home empty handed. No Vanilla weapons. No leader. Our first scouts were pied down. Our leader tried to go alone, but she got caught. We need to figure out a way to recover from the watermelons, and fast!
Well, the Vanillas apparently have secret weapons, so why don’t we use them? Let’s plan a secret attack!
Oh, wait. It’s not a secret anymore is it?
The lady entered the castle. Extending her hand to Jadestone, she said;
“I thank thee kindly. I am Lady Cinnamon Moon of Orange, daughter of the Duke. I mean no harm to thy side in this war.”
“For thy kindness, thou and thy party shall always be welcome at our castle in Orange.”
64- Why would I mind?
67- “Thanks, violindino.” I change into the brown clothes, but I cannot bear to leave my nation’s color entirely. So I tear off a strip of purple and tie it around my right wrist. “There!”
I look out the window again and am surprised to see the glint of green on the horizon again. And not only that, but there seem to be something raining down on it. I point. “Look, what’s that?”
95: I look out the window to where Alice is pointing. “Oh,” I say, “that’s the Jadestone Fortress. It’s right on the boundary between Chocolate and Vanilla. And it looks like it’s being pied.” I squinted to try to see it better. “Or they’re pieing someone. I can’t quite tell.”
96- The Chocolate Fortress is the one being pied.
I will take advantage of the confusion to lead a Jadestone attack on the Chocolate Fortress! Soon only Vanilla and Op will stand in our way… but not for long…
*pies Chocolate castle 1,000,000,000 times*
The walls are falling! Let us go in and loot the fortress!
99- to easy
I am going into the choklit fortress to find weaknesses. it is too easy to get in. I am hiding in the broom closet.
I have arrived at the Chocolate fortress once again. I take advantage of the serious pieing that is ocurring and sneak towards the castle. As usual, my entrance is undiscovered. What unintelligent slobs. Oh, well. All the better for me. Making my way to the weapons room, I see that, for once, there is someone in there. It doesn’t seem to be a Chocolate troop. In fact, it doesn’t seem to be any troop of any kind. Actually, risking a better view, it isn’t a person at all. It is some kind of…robot. What is Chocolate doing? Is it even Chocolate’s robot? What is it doing here? Seeing that taking weapons from the Chocolate castle will be impossible for a while, I sneak back through the tunnel. I look up and see Giminator’s ship flying overhead. I shout, “Giminator! It’s Piggy! Wanna give me a lift?”
100- True. I’m sorry, I don’t know much about Pie Wars.
96: “Oh,” I said. “How –” but before I could finish, there was a dreadful commotion outside and a banana cream pie flew through the window and splattered on the floor. I turned to violindino, my eyes wide, and I asked, “Are we being attacked?”
Waaaaaaaaaaaah! This stinks! We need a pie war thread for veterans!
104-why? this is great!
104- I was in the Great Pie War, and if not strictly a veteran, I’m definitely not a newbie. My point is that I enjoy this a lot more than the random pieing of the last one.
105- I agree. This is much better than the old ones.
*Gimanator pops up behind piggy in tree*
“Oy, piggy!” Howdy! I’m takin’ the team down here to raid, but I’ll call the ship and tell them to drop a ladder.”
*ladder drops down* “well, that was fast”
Yes, these are much better. Hmmm…maybe this should be a different type of thread.Then we could have agagabagabags favorite type seperately.
…
In case my other post was deleted, Gimanator is hiding in a tree with two other crew members, in an attempt to raid chocolate castle, but the ladder from the pastry queen drops down to piggy anyway.
Hello Piggy!
There’s something strange going on! What is this strange new robot that chocolate is hiding in their fortress?
“Well, Captain Giminator, I’m on your ship, so what should I do for you? How can I help?”
103: “We must be!” I shouted, leaping over my bed to close the window. It didn’t close. “Darn it,” I muttered,”I knew I should have cleaned it-chocolate is so sticky when the sun hits it.”
Another pie flew through the window and splattered all over the wall. Shouts echoed throughout the hallway. “Let’s go to the basement,” I said nervously. “It’s this way.” We stepped over the pies and ran through the hallway.
We almost made it to the stairs when a huge guard came and blocked our path. “What are you doing here,” he thundered. “Everyone has to go up to the castle turrets to man the pie cannons.”
“I don’t know how to fire a cannon,” I said desperately. “I wish I could help, really, but I don’t know what to do!”
“TOO BAD!” he roared, grabbing Alice and me and marching up the stairs.
105/106- Yes, I really enjoy this style.
Ah, Orange it is. I thought to myself after listening too Lady Cinnamon Moon. “I am honored to make your acquaintance,” I told her, bowing slightly. “As you may have noticed, there is currently a war going on in these parts, mainly between the citizens of Choklit and the citizens of Vanilla. I am nutral on the subject and my companions may have their own opinions, yet still we fight both.” I shrugged. “Perhaps it’s a love of battle and strategy, perhaps the exuberance of winning. Anyway, if you’ll follow me I can take you a bedchamber you may use.”
We had just arived at the door when suddenly I heard a shrill whistle from somewhere above us. “Ah.” I said. “That means Choklit is up to something. They may be attacking, or Vanilla might be launching an offfencive. If you’ll excuse me, I must see to this.” I bowed again, then hurried towards the stairs leading up to the wall.
This is so fun!!!!!!!!!!!
I wish I knew what to say.
piggy-help to pie the chocolate castle down! we’ll need to get rid of every last one of them!
“Aye, aye, sir!” I pull out my hidden Strawberry-Rhubarb Six-Shooter and begin to take out Chocolate fools who are in plain sight. Once I see that aerial attacks are not my specalty, I borrow a Key Lime Cannon and jump down on top of the castle. It is not too high a fall, so I merely stumble a little, regain my footing, and attack any Chocolate troops I see. Soon, there are few left where I am. I go through a doorway and see that strange robot again. Suddenly it–“
I have been hiding in the broom closet for a while now. the walls are shaking. I must leave
****
” so what happened?” asked jadestone
” the walls coplased. I saw white.”
” vanillla.”
” o.k. so vanillla is attacking choklit. now what?”
“now? we attack choklit. they are weak now. take this to them”
jadestone hands me a page of text.
this is what It says:
tretry of key lime
we, the jadestone side, knowing that you are weak, asks you , the land of choklit, to let us take over.
jadestone , queen of the jadestones
*enters main Jadestone fortress, crust-spattered and carrying pie cannon*
I need to talk to Jadestone. In private.
117- Not to sure about that. We’d need to discuss a takeover with the rest of our side and see what they think.
118- Yes Jasper? We can speak in the northeast turret. It’s right up these stairs.
I guess I can’t avoid this forever.
I am agagabagabag zepata, first human raised on the mystic pie isle, where men are rabbits! I am the army commander of Zemte, lost army of the Hpbs and a pie war lover! I am disgusted by you of the continent of flavor. Listen to yourselves! You sound like wimps.
I shall join the OP, seeing that it is the best option.
I load up my coconut pie arm cannon and strap it on my back, sheath my sword of pie tin, holster my purpleberry pie pistol, and fold up my pocket-hut and pocket-cot. As I put my sword away, I hesitate; I pull it out again and gaze wistfully at my name and the bunny inscribed apon it. I sheath it. Today I join the OP!
I enter the fortress cooly. Gwendolyn is waiting to see me.
“Lady Gwendolyn, I humbly offer my services to you. I am agagabagabag zepata, veteran of the great pie wars. I can speak OOB, HPB, H_B, HRB, DBB, HCB, BB, HMB, bird native, hedghog native, and chaddian. I only ask one condition. Instead of living in you luxourious rooms, I wish to live in my pocket- hut. I require no internet, because I have a wireless laptop and charger, but will gladly select arms and accept your pies.
*bows*
“What weapon’s does the Chocolate fortress have?!” demand’s my captor. “Umm…” “ANSWER ME!” “They have pie guns, cannons, and I think that’s all.” I say. “You THINK that’s all?” “They also have large ovens…that’s everything.” After the Jadestones are sure I’ve told them everything I’m led to the dungeon, where I’m told that all attempts to escape will be met with extremely large lemon merangue pies. I decide to wait it out and hope to be released soon.
Lady gwendolyn, some things I offer:
…………||
0=====|}|}|}|}|}|}|}|}|}|}|}|}|}|}|}|}|}|}|}|}|}
…………||
Pie sword!
ll
l .l
>–l—-—–|}
l .l
ll
pie bow!
——————————-|}
Pie spear!
And these
|”””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””\
|;;;;;Zemtee;agagabagabag;=========…[}…..[}..…[}…….[}:;’/`’
|_____________________/
/”0″””””””””””””””””””0`\
…………………………….00…./`
I also have invented the purpleberry pie. It’s a cross between grape, blackberry, and blueberry.
I may be a loner and a rogue, but I am usefull.
*sigh* I was once a fine warrior in glittering pie-proof armor, but now I am just a bandit with a hut, a few weapons, and the tattered green tunic on my back.
I hope your tattered green tunic wraps around your front as well. If it’s too tattered to do that, you probably ought to invest in a new one.
OMG! The wierd Choklit robot thing attacked Piggy! I think he needs back up! Come on Vanillas! Pie attack!
Wheee deja vú.
We have a captive? Sweet. In addtion to the Lemon-Merangue pies, I have added a sleeping draut to the filling so if there is an attempt to break out, they will be greatly weakened.
124- I sent you a picture. It’s only cut on the sleeves.
What?!? How did Zemtee get in here?
128- They’re not. It’s just me, reminiscing.
*goes with Jadestone up the stairs to the northeastern turret*
“Lock the doors and shut down the security cameras. This is for your ears only.”
well, I want to take over.
glassbro is not on this therd
jasper E. is too new
that lesves you.
Didja get the picture? Huh? Huh? Didja? Didja? It was rilly hard to send.
132-Patience! Patience!
“Rilly” I like that!
*sneaks over behind robot attacking piggy*
“Take this, fool!”
*fires of key lime pie cannon into robot’s head*
“Ha!”
*Robot turns around, angered*
“Ehhh…uh oh…”
126-aaaaaahhhhh! a glitch in the matrix(tm)! Get out of there Jadestone!
*Dashes off into ruins of choclate castle-piggy can now deal with the robot since it’s got a few holes in it’s head*
“Hmmm…hey, a turret-still standing! Hey, what’s going on inside?”
*puts ear to turret where jadestone and jasper are*
(132) Here you are, agagabagabag zepata, pie warrior:
Green eyes — just like Harry Potter!
Wow, you look nothing like I imagined, agagabagabag!
120- Promptly, Gwendolyn, who had been standing with a solemn expression for all the time the warrior was there, disappeared. She then walked back in to the receiving hall of the fortress, where Ag had been standing, baffled.
“Terribly sorry. I have been in my lab the past few days, tooling with some designs. Pleased to meet you. That other person was a hologram. I call her Hazel. I put her out when I know we’re about to get guests, but can’t come for a short while.
“Lady Gwendolyn, hm? I rather like the sound of that. But I have no noble heritage. My roots are in Apple, but I have not been there in years, nor do I call myself a citizen of Apple. Not anymore. When the Great Pie War started, I was very young. I loved to tinker with machines, though. Apple is a proud country- well, what country isn’t, really?- but a desperate one. They were ill-equipped for war. So they recruited every man, woman, and child over the age of ten who was proven to have a knack with gizmos to work in the great factories and create pie weapons. I made some of their best offensive weapons, but I was never given any credit. When I failed to produce new arms, however, they treated me like garbage. I was just a number to them. Look.”
She rolled up the right sleeve of her green inventor’s robe and showed the number 0000042 tattooed in red ink on her shoulder.
“I defected eventually. Oh, they were furious after that. They sent parties across the Flavor Continent to seek me out. They never found me, though. Apple now fights with the lesser powers of the Pie War. But they’d love to find me today. I guess I was more important than they let on.
“I met up with a gang of renegades who called themselves the Neutrals, and promptly joined. We are an interesting bunch, and some of the fiercest fighters out there. Since then, our name has changed, and we have lost many in the fight. But we will keep on until the war grinds to a halt or time ends. Whichever comes first.”
She stood there for a moment, head bowed, remembering the many lost warriors who had been so brave.
“But if you want to join, be my guest. Please set up your hut in the hall, as we don’t want you to become a more susceptible target for our enemies. Help yourself to the Armory. Pietanium Armor fits the user to a tee, due to some recent modifications I made. DAW is sleeping in today, but when she gets up, I’m sure she’ll take you to the stables to pick a Pie Animal and a Yeti Horse. I’ll see you later. I have to go back to the lab. I’m almost done with a new weapon.”
She walked off, leaving Ag in the receiving hall, now a member of The Op.
131- And I. Although I am not on the Jadestone side, she hath given me shelter, and I am grateful and shall also fight if you choose to attack against the Jadestone party.
But I am going away for a week.
*watches I, man gator run off*
Hee hee! I wonder if this will finish the robot off.
*throws new secret pie*
Robot wirrs and stumbles off drunkenly. Ouch! It just walked right into one of the last standing terraces!
woah…agagabagabag…you look so different from the last time I saw you…
130- I frowned. “Unfortunatly, the door in the tower does not lock. It was damaged durring the last pie war, and we havn’t replaced it yet.” I toyed my my pie slingshot, holding it absent-mndedly in my right hand. “I will post Glassboro outside the door, however, and he will stand guard and make sure no one listens in.
“As for the security system, I can’t cut out te vidio, but I can remove the noce. It’s a security precaution in case the defences of the Fortress are breeched. That way even if I can’t be in here, I still know what’s going on.” I fiddle with a small device on my wrist. “There. If you speak quietly, no one else will hear you.” I check to make sure Glassboro is standing guard, then turn to Jasper. “What is it you wish to tell me?”
136- I’m not in the Chocolate castle. I’m in my fortress, you can’t be in there.
ohhh…oh well.
*shoots robot again for good measure, and as it breaks walks into wreckage of choclate castle*
*points key lime cannon at Jadestone before she can react*
“Drop the slingshot, put your hands in the air, and don’t make any noise.”
I should have known that there would be treachery, you dirty liar. Get out of the fortress! OUT! Or do you want to be pied by our entire collection of artillary?
Besides, the pie cannons are huge. They take a significant time to turn, more than enough for my lord and master to react. Leave now, before I hurt you. *rests hand on Soard of Perfect Sweetness, while bathed in a green light*
“I’ve been making modifications to this particular one. Smaller, easier to fire. Still, you might be able to get me with that sword before I put a pie in Jadestone’s face. Are you willing to take the risk?”
*pulls out smaller pie launcher and surreptitiously points it at Jadestone*
You know, I had guessed you were a traitor. You definatly wern’t a newbie. You posted no where but here, knew what was going on, and knew people got a cannon when joining my side. That was on the old threads I said that, and newbies don’t normally read them unless you explain that it’s helpfull.
Though, perhaps instead of banishing you, we should take you to the dungeons…
“You know, the downside to pies, in your case, is that they’re not lethal. I don’t piticularly care if you pie me, I’ve had worse. Besides, I’m not exactly halpless here.” *aims pie slingshot* “It’s two to one, and soon reinforcements from my side will come. You don’t stand a chance. You’re in no position of control, here.”
“A pity. Next time I try this, perhaps, I’ll post on some other threads to avoid detection.
But for all the flaws in my plan, it doesn’t alter the fact that if you or your henchman move, you will be inundated in key lime and strawberry rhubarb.”
“Ah. I see. I was inexperienced enough to walk into a situation where I had no control. However, since I’m in here, I may as well attempt to do as much damage as possible… ”
*fires pie cannon directly at floor, causing tremor to knock Jadestone and Glassboro off their feet*
*leaps out of door in the confusion and hurtles down the stairs*
“As will you. But you can only hit one of us before the we respond, and even if you do fire whoever you hit will have a chance to retailiate, along with the other.” I shook my head. “I’m a good shoot, you know. I’ve lasted since the Great Pie War for a reason. And now I sugest you lay down your weapon and avoid humiliation, this will be your only chance, Prarilus Canix.”
Ah, curse moderation.
I leapt down the stairs, yelling to my side. It was a good thing I hadn’t turned off the security system after all, because someone seemed to know what had been going on.
At least I know my way around, while as the traitor likely does not have the floorplan memorized. And they likely did not realize that the drawbridge was raised and the portcullis down…
My plan has been a spectacular failure. However, I do have several pounds of EBC, and if I can reach the foundations of the fortress, I may be able to do some serious damage.
It seemed as though Jadestone was gaining on me, so I left behind an ounce of EBC with a five second timer. I hoped that would slow her down.
But her warriors are approaching from every nook and cranny, and I’m running out of ammunition. At least I’ve reached the ground floor. One more stairway to go.
here I am jadestone. so jasper E. is prsrilus canix?
superpies jE. from system hq.
A few massive “superpies” almost hit me. I managed to dodge them, but the stairway collapsed after me. Good news: I’m in the basement. Bad news: I’m not getting out. More good news: The guards will take a while to clear a path through the rubble.
I immediately piled a third of the EBC at the base of the main foundation rod, and another third near the generator, setting the timers for twenty seconds. Then I ran. It would be a very loud bang, and there was no guarantee that the collapsing ceiling would miss me.
120- Bows. Very well. I shall enjoy wearing a new suit of pietanium armor. And about the animals, i already have a mount. It’s a pwnie from pie isle. *Draws gadget from backpack* This is a bunny pager for if we should need reinforcements. By the way, I call those who I serve sir or lady.
138- Hey, I never thought of that!
139- Eh, it’s not that accurate.
144-
We seem to be at a biit of a stalemate here.
He’s got some kind of pie-bomb with him. Fortunatly, he can’t have to many more concealed on his person, or it would have looked even more suspicious. Loud booms still come from the basement, along with occasional treasure. I’m thanking myself now for not scriping on the titanium when we buil this place, and the extra-thick walls. The fortress is still new enough (only a year old) that the walls down there won’t have started to crumble.
I’m going to shut down all power down there, including the lights. It’s like a labrythn of cells and dungouns and empty rooms, so it’s likely going to be very hard to find him, but I am the one with maps and weapons and light. *thinks* Except for the infra-red security cameras. Yes, we’ll leave those on.
In the meantime, I think we’re going to have to use the only other entrance when looking for him. We’ll leave the rubble there for now, that way we don’t have to have a regular guard there too. It’d take weeks to dig it out.
For now though, I want the other door locked and guarded at all times.
*searches through choclate castle and finds nothing but supplies of food and weaponry* “Ah, well…misson sucess, eh, boys…boys?”
“Drat. They must have been pied down…well, I’ll reach PC with my walkie-talkie, he gave me.”
*pushes talk on walkie talkie*
“PC, mission accomplished. Two casualties, assumed dead under rubble, minor damage to pastry queen. Any further orders, or should I return to base? Over.”
“enter the jadestone fortress.”
“pc,is that you?”
“yes. I have a sore thort.”
“o.k. over.”
***
” prepare the fortress, jadestone. we’ll have visters. specail vister’s, if you know what I mean.”I say as I slip the walkie-talkie in to my pocket. “gimanator will never know what will hit him. fivty pound of banana cream.”
“Gimanator, this is PC. Ignore the last transmission. Repeat, ignore the last transmission. Do not enter the Jadestone Fortress. Transmit following orders to Piggy:
Launch cruise pie at Jadestone Fortress. They are all searching for me in the basement, so they will be distracted.”
*pulls out infrared lens*
I couldn’t carry a full set of goggles in without attracting suspicion, but this will at least give me a limited range of vision.
I’ve found it impossible to take down the main column, so I’m using the remaining explosive by putting one pinch in the wall bracket of every camera I come to. This should make it harder for them to locate me.
I hear the tramp of footsteps and duck into a nearby cell. I think it’s unoccupied when I stumble over a warm body. The prisoner yells for help, and I can hear that she’s from Chocolate. I briefly consider pieing her, but I can’t bring myself to shoot an unarmed prisoner, so I clamp my hand over her mouth.
I feel the nameplate on the door. From what I can tell, it says “UNINTENDED PUN.”
Yells at Kiwi-mucher: “YOU KILLED HIM! My master, my teacher, MY FRIEND!!!!! HOW COULD YOU! HE WAS VOLUNTEERING TO FIGHT FOR VANILLA!!!! With him, we would definitely have won. BUT YOU KILLED HIM!!!! NOW I’LL KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!”
*pies Kiwi-muncher in the face with Strawberry-Rhubarb Six-Shooter, and reaches for a Key-Lime Cannon*
“Man-gator, YOU’RE NEXT!!!”
“He’s trying to take out cameras.” I tell my team, as I sit in the main control room trying to locate him. “However, by pieing every one he comes to, he”s left a trail heading straight to the main dungeon. Seal off the adjoining wings. Unintended Pun is still down there too, I believe.”
I think for a few seconds. There were still the pies ready to launch in case of a breakout down there (post 126). I could switch on them, and maybe an audio circut too, and see if we could pinpoint their location. The audio box would have a red light flash on it every 2 minutes, unfortunatly, but we might glean something before PC found it. I hit the switches.
“Better take some other precautions too…” I mutter to myself as I leave the Control Room for a breather, carefully locking it with the keypad as the door closes behind me. “Who knows what Vinnilla will be planning when they here PC’s trapped.”
***
This is so much fun. A lot better than the other pie wars, I think, though they all had their points.
“Oh, crap.” I say as I suddenly remember our visitor from Orange. After making sure all the entrances into the fortress are blocked and armed, I hurry to her quarters to explain what’s going on. She’s likely to be a bit confused by all this banging, and no one had been sent to explain it to her. I knock on her door smartly.
Wait, wait, wait!!! This is nothing like any Pie War I’ve ever seen…what’s going on? Are we writing stories, sort of? In case I’m right…
~~~
I creep up the steps of the ancient castle, careful to not make a sound in case anyone else should be in the tower. I have the strangest feeling that the thing for which I have been searching these many months is just around the corner. Just as I am about to round it, I am thrown back off my feet and down the stairs as what seems to be a miniature bomb goes off a few feet away.
“NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” I cry as I tumble back the way I’d come, anguish and despair ripping through my very being, expressed in the scream that tears my lungs as it escapes from the confines of my mouth. Suddenly, all is black, and I feel no more.
I’ll come up with a better name later. Basically, I’m a freelance, traveling from place to place, searching for the afore-mentioned object…the object that shall be identified later on…bwahaha…
168-9- It’s the pie war between choklit and vinillia. we are tring to make it less ramdom.
“so now what” I ask jadestone.
“Thank you, lady Gwendolyn. I must be going now. I will be back shortly.”
I gallop off on my pwnie in the direction of green palace in the distance.
*************************
LATER
“So now what?” TMforA asks into his walkie.
It is knocked from his hands. Covered in purple, it falls to the floor.
“Now, you will kindly engage me in battle, if you must ask. It’s been awhile since I’ve delt a good trouncing. See this?” I point to my pistol. “it shoots out purpleberry pies. Purpleberries are tribrids of concord grapes, blackberries, and blueberries. The pies fold up into tightly packed bullets, and expand when shot.”
“But enough explanation. Your move.”
170-Okaaayyyy…so can I join?
172- Sure. Pick a side (or don’t) and jump right in.
171- TMfA is in my fortress at this time I think, and talking to me in person. The Fortress is on high alert, there’s no way you would have gotten in.
173-That’s what I tried to do, but then tmfa said that you guys were trying to keep it un-random.
174- I think he waas refering to when you said you didnt know why everyone was writing.
“Gotcha, PC”
“Piggy, we need to launch a cruise pie at the jadestone fortress, to distract them wile pc escapes.”
165-oh wait…I’m confused. Sorry, I didn’t mean to post under man-gator.
I realize that this cell is the best place to be. Their heavy pietillery can’t get through the small door, I can easily dodge anything smaller, and they can only send one person in at a time. I’m pretty much taken care of until my ammunition runs out- but hopefully Vanilla will have launched a cruise pie by then.
” jadestone, I just thought of something. if vinilllla will attack us, pc will ecape. and the dungons are safe.”
“your right! move pc out and lock the door. then we’ll go into the dungond and stay there intill vinnillla atacks.”
“I’m don’t think we should hide from an attack. That will give them the advantage, not to mention be cowardly. I’ll set my scopes towards thir fortress and see if they’re up to anything, it’s likely they are. By now they will know PC is in danger.
“As for Prarilius Canix… I doubt he’ll be leaving the cell anytime soon. If he does try to leave, he’ll be pelted with poisoned Lemon-Meringue. He’d be in no shape to resist us after that.”
Unintended Pun has informed me of the drugged meringue waiting if I come out of the cell. It seems to be an automatic motion-detecting system, but the guards passed by without triggering it. They must have some sort of transponders.
Here comes one. He was foolish to come alone…
*fires out of cell door*
Well, that took up a lot of valuable ammo, but he collapsed against the wall. I’ll have to noose him somehow…
*breaks through Pun’s shackles with remaining EBC, leaving a little for an emergency*
Ah. The chain was fastened high up on the wall. I can make a lasso with the slack easily.
*nooses unconscious guard and pulls him into the cell*
*pulls on his clothing and equipment*
And, just in case the transponders are in their bodies somewhere, or if there’s a contingency I haven’t planned for, I’ll use him as a shield going out.
Things appear to be going on at the Jadestone fortress. We will not join until necessary.
Op Members, please voice your opinions as to our next actions in the war.
Behold! A new invention!
-The Club of Cherry. A wubbulous weapon that shoots out cherry filling from the upper half if the handle has adequate pressure applied. This filling is quite cumbersome if you’re trying to move, and eventually solidifies on the target, rendering them motionless.
But before I do that…
*removes guard’s walkie talkie*
*dials to a channel that will transmit, but be so distorted that my voice will not be recognized*
“Alert! Canix has escaped! A couple of pies hit him, but he’s still dangerous! He’s heading for the blocked exit- I think he intends to blast his way through!”
*waits for guards to rush past the cell, thinking they’ll trap me*
After regaining my senses, I call back to Giminator, “All right. Let’s get on the ship and prepare to fire on the Jadestones. In case you didn’t notice, I stashed my new, improved, and much smaller Cruise Pie Launcher below deck, because I have knowledge that the Jadestone fortress is watching the Vanilla stronghold very closely. I think we should attack right away, because who know when PC will begin the escape. Let’s go!”
*immediately dashes out of the cell*
Well, nothing bad’s happened so far. I’ve almost reached the second exit, and the guard had plenty of equipment on him, so I won’t be running out of piemmunition for a long time.
OK, I’m up the stairs. Just a little while before I can get out of the fortress. I’ve been confronted a couple of times, but everybody’s rushing around and too busy to check my face, so my uniform has deceived them so far.
O, crud. The gates are locked. Now what?
A message crackled over the intercom, but I couldn’t tell who had sent it. “Alert! Canix has escaped! A couple of pies hit him, but he’s still dangerous! He’s heading for the blocked exit- I think he intends to blast his way through!” There was no way he could hope to get through there, it was filled with rubble and dust, he couldn’t have enough ammo left. I pressed the ‘reply’ button. “State your name, rank, and location, please. Where did you last see Canix?”
While waiting for a reply, I sent a quick message out to the rest of the Fortress. “Canix is making a move, and is still mobile even after the Lemon-Meringue. Double the gards on both the basement doors, and I need the rest of you on the battlements.
I could see the faint line of a large pie on cruise-controll aproaching from the distance, too. I swore to myself, then issued the order for the people not chasing after that imosster to fire a line of pies towards the one headed towards us. It looked costly and well-made, but if we could throw it off course and slow it down, it wouldn’t do a lot of dammage. The pies hitting it would slow it down, hopefully enough to stop it before it even reached the moat, but that was unlikely. It was coming up fast, but had it slowed just a fraction? I think so.
*pulls out small transmitter and corrects cruise pie trajectory so that it will impact the gate*
*empties key lime cannon into the inside of the gate, hoping to weaken it enough for the cruise pie to break through*
182- Sorry, but I wish to interfere.
******************************************
l arrive apon my pwnie at the jadestone castle gates, to hear quite a ruckus coming from the interior. Glancing at the large pie heading toward me, I launch a rapelling line up to the top. Sauntering vertically up the green wall, happen across what appears to be a control room. I smash the windows and hop in, only to meet many red lights and loud ringing.
Ooh, pie! I like chocolate… but jadestone offers a free cannon (I’ve read the thread) Jadestone it is. But I want to see it play out.
Oops! Sorry! *pies Piggy*
*helps Canix to pie the gate*
BANG!
We’re through!
188- Er, sorry, but there’s a large moat and trench aound the fortress, and it’s on high alert so I doubt you’d get away with that. And pies are coming from it at top speed.
190- Canix is on the inside, trying to get out
The Cruis-pie apaers to be changing it’s course. No longer is it headed towards the wall, it’s not curving towards the gate. There’s something odd going on here. Though I doubt it will be able to break through the gate as it’s been slowed down greatly now, why would they change it’s course?
And there was no word back from my guards on Canix’s location. He must have gotten out quicker then we thought and we missed him… “Send both Pie units looking for Canix to the main gate.” I told my team. “He’s trying to escape.”
As soldier ran up to me. “We’re got 2 fresh batches of pies int he kitchens, and anther one in the ovens.” Well, there was some good news at least.
“Distribute them among the soldiers. We’re going to meet army to army, with no more of this ridiculous fortress-bashing. Tell everyone to get assembled and ready to ride out.”
I quickly through on my protective gear, and called Ishtar out from the stables. If we were to meet Canix in the hallways, I doubt he’d be able to stop a Pie-Poler Bear in attack mood.
*Is now on ship*
“Ahoy! This should stir things up!”
*Launches three cruise pies at jadestone fortress*
I changed my mind. I’m still a freelance, but I’m also a well-known, prominent Trader in the Blackberry Market. I will also work for whoever offers the highest pay…for a time, anyway.
Items for trade:
3 EBCP’s
20 Fudgium Arrows
2 Crust/Licorice Bows
1 Pie-tapult
I accept “Items of Interest”, and/or money. We will work out a price upon your expression of interest in my items.
The pies broke through the gates, but the portcullis is still intact. And to make matters worse, Jadestone is charging down the hall on the back of a double-crust-armored monstrosity that makes Iorek Byrnison look like a Steiff bear, with a bunch of soldiers in tow. Moreover, my only remaining weapon is a rhubarb six-shooter. But there’s still a chance I can get out…
*fires off two pies, temporarily blinding Ishtar*
Now if Jadestone can’t control him- which is likely, considering he’s in a bloodthirsty rage- he’ll carry straight on and smash into the portcullis. An impact like that, combined with the structural weakness incurred by the cruise pie, might damage it enough for me to get out. I guess it’s my only chance…
*leaps to the side*
coming down the stars I saw pc. I have pied him fivty times with the most dangers pies I can handle. he is now locked in my room, waiting for relese.
195- There are no stairs where I am now.
196-there aren’t?
As far as I know. I’m right in front of the gate with a pie polar bear heading for me.
“Drat, what’s going on down there? I can’t tell…”
*Picks up walkie-talkie*
“PC! Is it safe to launch another cruise pie?
“LAUNCH IT NOW! I’VE GOT THE ENTIRE ARMY ON MY TAIL!”
“You WHAT?!?” *drops walkie talkie over board in the excitement*
“Drat!”
*Fires off last two cruise pies at the area where it look slike the action is*
The last impact knocked the portcullis off kilter. *rolls under indent, jumps up and flips into the moat*
Ahhh…
AAAAHHHHHH!
PIE PIRANHAS!
I rached over and cleared anough filling out of Ishtar’s eyes so that he slowed down, reflecting that I should probably invest in a pear of goggles for him like the ones I was currently wearing. It took a minute to calm him down, and I had precious seconds to see what was going on. My army was racing towards the advancing Vinilla army, so that front was going okay.
I was not too reasured by the two other pies heading towards my fortress. The soldiers manning the cannons were already working at slowing them down, but there was likely to be an impact of greater force then the one that just managed to break the gate.
Unless… “LAUNCH A CRUISE PIE OF OUR OWN TOWARDS ONE OF THEM!” I yelled as loadly as I could to tmfa, who was still int he fortress. We would only have time to stop one, but it would work.
But… where was Canix? I glanned around, untill I finally noticed something splashing below in the moat. Ah. That would not be pleasant, what with what we’ve stocked out moat with. I wondered if he’d come across the dwarf-kracken, which while smaller than the rest of it’s kin still retained 15-foot tenticles.
“CANIX!” I yelled to him, Ishtar finally having managed to clear away the rest of the filling himself. “Either you drop your weapons and let me pull you out, or I’ll leave you as a snak for the Kraken!” I glanced at the ripples headed towards him from the other side of the moat. “You’ve probably got about 8 seconds to decide.”
I heard Jadestone yelling at me from the side of the water, and saw a dark, tentacled shape coming up from underneath. The good news was the pie piranhas had gone. The bad news was that something dangerous enough to scare off pie piranhas was on a direct course towards me. And I only had four rhubarb pies left.
I frantically fired one of them straight into the face of the creature approaching. It slowed down for a second, but I had the feeling I had only made it angry.
I looked through the equipment I’d taken from the Jadestone soldier and found a grapnel among it. I managed to hook it onto the passing Pastry Queen’s rudder just as a tentacle wrapped around my leg.
“Oh no.” I muttered. “That Kraken is nearly indestructible, he’s no chance if tries- oh dear, is that a pie grenade?” I squeezed Ishtar with my knees, and he shot a pie towards Canix’ arm as he reached back to throw. The grenade still hit, but at least it hadn’t been letal. Krakans were hard to come by. It did let out a sort of squeal and retrat back to the bottom, however, so he was safe from it for now.
While brifly considering weither this was good or bad, I pointed towards him. Ishtar tensed, ready for command. “Canix. This is your last chance before I tell him to fire, and I’d like to see how long you can hold on with a hundred pies weighing you down.”
191- Fine.
I tie my pwnie to a stake, but a large pie zooms past me snagging on my sword. How convienient. I ride the pie straight into the gates.
A huge robot lumbers at me. I jump to the only protected spot: the legs.
The foot came up, throwing me onto the back, where I clung on. I listened to Jadestone yell at canix. I crawl up the back and say,
“Well, ‘old friend’, I doubt you’ll get the chance. This coconut pie cannon packs quite a punch.”
I shoot her in the back, and she falls into her own moat.
I take out a screwdriver and bust up the robot’s circuitry. It falls, and I hop off it to shore.
“job well done, eh Kelshino?”
oops. I didn’t know it was a bear. Just replace robot with bear and replace “I take out a screwdriver and bust up the robot’s circuitry. It falls, and I hop off it to shore.” with, ” I take a running jump off the now quite annoyed bear and land on the other shore.
Kelshino is my pwnie.
I consider pieing the annoying soldier who had tried to ambush Ishtar and I, but decide it’s not worth it. If I can get Canix I’ll have leverage against Vinills, and the other one was already on the opposite bank. “Well?” I shout to him.
*reading the Jasper E. drama* Yeah. I started to guess it was Canix around the time he rebelled. It doesn’t surprise me. The fact that he was named Jasper was too much of a coincidence.
Hmm. The other drama, the one at th Chocolate castle, seems to have been forgotten in th Jadestone battle.
Back to my story.
Quick as lightning, I reached out and punched the guard. Not hard, but he staggered back in surprise, and only the chocolate-brick wall kept him from falling down the stairs. “Grab his pistol!” I yelled to Violindino. I was lucky that my older brother had insisted on teaching me defense when the war had started. Ecila had been too gentle to hit anyone, she had failed her classes . . .
“Ecila!” I gasped, realizing what this meant. If she was caught up in this war, she would fare even worse than I. I couldn’t let this happen to my sister. I turned to Violindino. “I’m going to find my sister,” I said. “Would you like to come with me, or not?”
“NEVER!” I yell, and fire the remaining strawberry rhubarb pies directly at her. One misses, one glances off Ishtar’s ear, and the other one makes a direct hit in her face.
I climb feverishly hand over hand into the Pastry Queen and come face to face with Gimanator and Piggy. “Land our entire force,” I say. “We’re going in to attack the Jadestones.”
I want to be in the action! Arrrrgghhh.
Not waiting to see what Violindino said, I raced down the stairs and out of the gates. No one was guarding them, but I didn’t stop to do anything about it. The only person in Chocolate who’d been kind to me was Violindino, and she was from Pomegranate. I owed my allegiance to no one.
I ran until I was out of breath and then stopped, looking back at Chocolate. All the fighting was going on at the distant Jadestone Fortress now, and had it not been for the telltale splotches of green, yellow, purple, and red, I never would have guessed it had been at war. They were probably manning the gates now….
I needed a plan. It was all very well to rush away after my sister, but it was no good if I promptly fell into enemy hands. Even if I eluded the Jadestones and Vanillas, I had no idea where Ecila was. If she could just remember to punch hard enough until I got to her…
A weapon! If I had a weapon I would be safe while I mad a plan and carried it out. But where could I find a weapon?
“Wait! First our troops should be given more ammo, because many are running low, as are you, PC. Let me go down and get some!”
*goes under*
“Ahh, here we are. Enough pies to last us for weeks.”
*comes back up*
“Here, you take some, and I’ll start passing ammo around. Let’s hurry!”
“Bring a Cruise Pie Launcher, and six people to man and push it. We’ll put a ring of people driving blueberry-cannon tanks around that, and organize the rest of the army inside that ring. Make sure everyone has a key lime cannon and a strawberry rhubarb six shooter.”
208- What? You’re in the moat!
210- She’s also in the moat.
Stop ignoring me! I’m part of this!
210- who are you? and why are you here? have you read this therd? last time you joined mid-therd you had not read it.
“Yes, Commander. Everyone grab your weapons! You heard what PC said! PREPARE FOR BATTLE!!!!!!”
215- I’ve been here since Jasper E. (me) first showed up.
“Hahahaaaa!”
*I take out key lime pie rifle and begin pieing the people down below*
“This is for what you did to my crew!”
*The pastry queen revolves around so that the bow of the ship is facing forward. Photon pie launches from the front of this ship from a small hatch torwards Jadestone fortress*
“These are hard to come by. Only got one, but they don’t know that…Brace yourselves everyone! These pack quite a blast!”
I was passing by the Jadestone Fortress, hidden by the thick forest nearby, when a pie whizzed out of nowhere and hit me on the side of the head. I staggered, then sat down and cleaned the blueberry filling out of my ear. I was fairly sure that no one was aiming at me, and that this was just a misfire, but I couldn’t be positive. I clambered up a nearby tree to see better.
Below me a drama was playing out, a very messy drama indeed. A young woman riding a polar bar was hurling pies in all directions, and a ship was floating in the huge moat. On the ship were several men, all of them aiming their pie cannons and pie pistols at the fortress, and pieing liberally. I felt a bit sorry for whoever had to clean up the mess, but at the same time I realized that this just might be a good opportunity to get a weapon. I half-climbed, half-fell out of the tree, and started to make a wide detour around the fortress.
“We broke through the portcullis! Land now, and prepare for epic battle!”
219- She’s in the moat! Do you people just bloop right over my comments?
221- You’re saying that you climbed up onto the back of a huge, enraged poler bear, unfastened me from him as I am attached to his armor with stirrups and leg buckles so I can have both hands free to throw pies, and threw me in my own moat?
I’m not ignoring you, I’m being practical.
I ride to the midst of the battle, hurling pies in all directions. My pie-archers had finally gotten our own cruise-pie-launcher up on the turrets, and were loading a pie as I fought. The ones not loading it were sending a steady stream of cherry-rubber-cement down onto Vinilla, and actually seemed to be knocking some people unconcouse as the pies colided with the tops of their heads. Thankfully they had remarkable aim.
Using my slingshot, I sent off a dozen of my own cement pies to cover the front windsheild of the ship and clog it’s vision. They would harden before Vinilla even had a chance to clean them off, and I sent more towards the rest of the windows before ruturning my attantion to the battle.
They had managed to break the portcullis with a cruise-pie, but Ishtar was standing in the gate, and there wasn’t really room to squeese by him, not to mention my own army on the ground all around and above me. We didn’t have to worry about ariel attacks, at least.
Speaking of which… a cruise pie exploded from the ramparts, only to smash straight into their ship with (literally) tons of force. Their ship tillted dangerously to the side under the weight of the heavy apple filling, and part of it started smoking. I could hear the archers readying another pie now, and it was likely they’d be able to hit the ship again as the Vinilla’s couldn’d see through the coating of hardened pie on their windsheild. Sure enough, there was another loud Boom! as a strawberry colided with another part of the ship, and it wobbled dangerously over the moat.
Everyone’s focus was on the battle, and it was mere minutes before I had slipped in through a back door. Now to find the Armory, I thought to myself.
‘Drat'”Abandon ship! and take the weapons with you!”
“NO! This ship is our greatest asset. I’m not gonna give it up this easily! If you wanna be a coward, be my guest, but this ship’s gonna bring us to victory! With this ship, the Jadestones don’t stand a chance. Besides, do you honestly think I could have let an ordinary ship go into battle? No! In case you thought it was hopeless, you’ll find that I’ve still got a few tricks up my sleeve. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a battle to win! WHO’S WITH ME!?!!?!??!?!?!”
217- I meant 214, not 210.
The Jadestones seemed to be concentrating on the Pastry Queen. Fortunately, a considerable number of our troops have landed, along with the Cruise Pie Launcher.
Having reloaded my key lime cannon (KLC) and my strawberry rhubarb six-shooter (SRS) I leaped into the control turret of one of the blueberry cannons. A few precision shots took out some of their best archers, and at my command, a cruise pie struck their own launcher.
Sadly, it didn’t do much damage, but it did knock it off kilter and spill much of the ammunition off the battlements. Hopefully by the time they get it back up, the Pastry Queen will have landed.
Organizing an attack force quickly, I led them over the moat on an improvised bridge. Ishtar was our greatest obstacle now, but the rest of the troops were firing at him with the blueberry cannons. Though he was more resilient than I had thought, he did seem to be weakening under the onslaught.
as everone is atacking the fort on one knows that I am going in to vinilllia though a back door. I disipear form this therd and …
(see pie war for end of post.)
Under a particularly fierce barrage, the Pie Polar Bear was blown down the hall. I led my troops in, but immediately had to duck into a side door, as Ishtar was coming back down the hall.
Perhaps, if we can make our way to the dungeons, we can free some of the prisoners to create even more mayhem.
“Yes! The Pastry Queen is in the air again! Now, to show these Jadestones who’s boss! Almost on target, a little more…. yes! NOW FIRING PLASMA PLUM PIE! This’ll take out that stupid bear!”
222- Look, can that be zapped? Every time I do something people ignore me and tell me that it can’t be done! You never said you were fastned on, and I was snagged! To all people, Jadestone is in the moat! Stop being rude!
208- “it’s not worth it.” You’re being unusually disrespectful.
229- There arn’t any more prisoners.
What I’m doing here here is trying to not powerplay. That means I dictate my actions only, and let the other people post a responce with what happenes to them. Aparently I’m the only one doing this, which is likely why my side is losing. I post what I do in responce to something, like having to stop for a moment and being hit or my portcullis and door breaking down or being forced backwards, but others seem to not do that. So I suppose I’ll just go along with you all and do damage that way instead of hoping you all try what I do naturally.
*PC has been doing what I have too, and it’s his posts that I find the most interesting to read and respond to. It’s material to work with and adds another dimension to the pie wars, what we’ve been trying to attain with this new style.
Ishtar lept into the air over a large pie being flung at us, skidding a little as he descended but regaining his footing fast enough. This put us very close to the VInilla forces as they attempeted to stream into our fortress, one of them actually ran into us before he was swept away by a huge paw and thrown back into his own comrads. I took advantage of the momentary distraction and shouted into my comunicaor for the soldier in the control room to put the fortres on lockdown.
Doors automatically shut and sealed around us as we were forced slowly backwards, though the close corodors were supprisingly helpful. We only had to worry about attacks from one side now, and only a few could come at us at a time, and as Ishtar and I took more and more out they flaled around in their own side’s faces.
The doors were almost all closed now, the soldier in the command room had had the sence to shut the ones stemming from the entrance outward.
I heard a shout from behind me, and risked a glance over my shoulder to see who it was, resulting in a pie hitting my aiming arm and causing me to miss my intended target. It was the archers from the wall! They had come in through the last open door far down the hallway, and started shooting arching arrows over my head and into the fray before me. With their help, we could hopefully drive them out of our fortress.
A retreat of surrender was highly unlikely, but they might pause to regroup.
We’re in the dungeons. I still have the keys from the guard I knocked out, so I’ve freed about two dozen prisoners. Some are Chocolate, but I’m not complaining.
“Very well, piggy, and I assume that that chunk blown out of the side of the ship doesn’t matter? Don’t forget who this ship belongs to and who it means the most to. I have much gunpowder at the bottom of this ship, and at this rate it could easily go off. So let’s be reasonable before we loose our lives.”
*Bang goes off in hull sending smoke up to us*
“Although…*sighs*…we’ll say with the ship while Pc makes a sneak attack…It’s the best we can do…”
233- I’m doing that too. Due to the fact that I’m not in th action, no one notices or responds, but whatever.
233- I try.
I managed to get into the dungeons, but before my men could follow me, most of my forces were taken out by the recovering Ishtar and Jadestone’s pie archers. I’m in a bad situation here. But if I remember correctly from my reconnaissance as Jasper E., there is another exit just behind the main entrance hall. If I lead the prisoners through that, we could take out the pie archers, and I’d have a direct shot at Jadestone.
*executes plan*
The archers were thrown into confusion by the rear attack. Leaving the released prisoners to subdue them, I charged towards Jadestone and Ishtar, bringing up my key lime cannon and readying it to fire.
Ishtar’s broad back provided a conspicuous target. I fired ten pies at it.
My opponent is blocked by an ignorance shield. Instead, I rappell up the wall to the control room, avoiding arrows. I break open the glass, and K.O. the guard with a coconut pie. I steal his keys and push him out the door.
Looking in the view screen, I see jadestone squeezing through her main gates. I open them again, than close and lock all other doors and hatches. I jump back out the window, and pie the button marked, “bar all windows. Unfortunately, I land on ship…
If you think that was powerplay, consider that no one here has ever let me do anything but talk or join a side.
Very o.p.ish, eh, Lady Gwen? I waited till the Jadestones were in a position of weakness, then made my move. Although my presence on this ship could require some assistance…
“WHAT?!?? How could that bear not be affected by my Plasma Plum Pie (PPP)? Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…. I’ve got to take out that dumb animal. But how?” Ah! Got it!” I rush to the bottom of the boat and grab several barrels of gunpowder. “Now, to attach pies…. There we go. This rope will make the perfect fuse! Aha! My Bluberry Bomb is ready!” I hop back uptop and prepare to fire the bomb towards Ishtar. But suddenly, I see a strange person land on my ship. “Who in the name of all that is sweet are you?!?”
” Ay! Agagabagabag Zepata…long time no see…”
*holds hand on watermellon pie rifle*
heh…when this pie war is over, I will rewrite it all in story form. It shall very good in my oppinion. ANd contrary to poopular belief I actually shall finish it.
Ishtar wheeled around and bellowed in rage, which was exactly what I wanted. I flung my last pie grenade down his throat, ducked under his swinging paws, and turned on Jadestone.
To tell the truth, I wasn’t sure that even a pie grenade could take out an Ursus arctos crustos, considering he’d survived a plasma plum pie, but I was positive it would keep him occupied long enough for me to engage Jadestone in battle. I assembled my Vanilla Voulge and charged.
(Note: A voulge resembles a pike or poleax. It’s true- wiki it.)
245- Hey! That’s what I wanted to do! Weird…
another idea I had about it is writing a couple of chapters for each charactors perspective. although that would be hard, and It wouldn’t be as good….
hmm…we should each write our own versions and send them in. Or type them up. That could be pretty fun.
this will need a new therd soon. this is so much funner than the old type.
“What he said,” I told the weapon’s master.
“Well, well, of all the ships to land on.” I flex the arm with the pie cannon. “Useful, these. Any plans about taking out the big dumb beast?” I point to the archers. “Oh, and how `bout that bear? Pretty large, eh?
250- I know! This is great!
“Ay, at the moment…methinks blasting ’em all into the lake might be useful…but how to do so…got it! but this will be extremly dangerous and exerting..are you guys in? it’s gonna cost us the ship.”
“and agagabagabag…why are you here? ever mind while you’re fighting, but still…”
that’s supposed to be never mind…oops
“What he said,” I told the weapon’s master.
“Well, well, of all the ships to land on, old chap.” I flex the arm with the pie cannon. “Useful, these thingamabobs. Any plans about taking out the big dumb beast?” I point to the archers. “Oh, and how `bout that bear? Pretty large, eh?”
“Tell ya what. How bout we wait till the green wonder is down on her knees before pieing each other to death? We can fight once the fort is in rooins.”
Ignore 251 and 256.
“I was just jumping out of a five story window. An’ if it makes it any better, I’ll blind the stupid thing.”
I shoot a purple berry pie at Ishtar’s eyes.
“That stuff doesn’t come off easily. Even when `e’s all cleaned up, his muzzle will be purple until next summer when he starts shedding.”
“Methinks I shall be a distraction.”
I pass my grappelling hook to a burly pirate.
“Hold onto this will ya?”
I jump off the boat onto the outer shore side, then dash towards kelshino.
“Let’s ride, old bean!”
We ride back over the ship and to the inner shore.
I rode straigt towards the big brute, who looked like he had swallowed a grenade. A bloke from vanniller was running at Jadestone with a spear.
“Hey, let me have some fun, eh?” (No, I’m not Canadian.)
I charge at Jadestone alongside him.
Hearing the sounds of a charge, I rush out of the castle to protect my liege. As I run, I draw my soard, and check the edges.
“Stay away from my leader, you fools! You have openly declared emnity, and will be treated accordingly,” I yell as I run.
I also order all pie cannons to be aimed at the attacking warriors, and finally stop, ready to fight.
I deal a blow that hurls Jadestone against the wall in a shower of vanilla cream pies, then drop my voulge and pull out a Vanilla-Bean Blade. “You can take care of her,” I say to the mysterious Op warrior, and charge at Glassboro.
Ishtar and I had taken out most of the oncoming warriors when suddenly we were hit from behind with a volly of pies. Ishtar roared in anger, and I just glimpsed something fall into his mouth when I saw Prarilius Canix down the hallway. I wasn’t sure what of his Ishtar had swallowed, but it was likely dangerous. Several more pies hit me and him as I reached down and quickly unbuckled my legs from his side and shouted in his ear to run off somewhere to recover, he’d been fighting for a long time and who knows what that thing PC had would do to him. A pie hit him in the face as he turned, decreasing his vision and causing him to step on several people as he went before dissapearing into the relitive safety of the forest, where he knew his way around. I could find him later. He shouldn’t be in battle for a little while just to make sure…
I barely managed to leap off him with my weapons and roll to the ground before I was charged at, I just managed to duck before a pie lance whizzed right through to the air above my head. I reached out and tripped the weilder — PC — as he swung it and cought my arm, jarring it. But he did stumble and give me the moment I needed to leap up and draw my pie sling-shot and pistol. He must have gotten in through the same door my archers came through, which led from the dungeon…
But I hadn’t seen the one charging slightly behind him, and was knocked off balance as I fired at PC’s back and missed him compleatly.
Thankfully, Glassboro had caught up at that point, and hellped my to my feet as we faced the two soldiers.
259- Oops, that wasn’t there. Okay, GB helps me up after I’m hurled against the wall by PC, then we fight each other.
“This is it! Prepare to abandon ship!””Full throttle towards jadestone fortress! Grab all possible weapons!”*llights fuse to gunpowder deck and launcehs ship at castle, jumping off with all the other people on board*
I ready myself for the blow, but even so am not ready, and lose my balance. Fortunately, this only lasts for a second, and I am soon back in action. Prarillius Canix is much more skilled in the way of the sword than I would’ve thought possible, and I spend many minutes struggling with him. However, he finally bests me, and I run off, nursing my wounds, to rally the men to attack the aerial attack.
“On second thought, you handle Glassboro. I have an old score to settle with Jadestone.”
please note that the pastry queen has been launched at your fortress full of gunpwder and with a lit fuse
245, 247- And I. If I ever get in the action, darn it.
~~~~
I went through a side door and found myself at the foot of some stairs. By now I had completely forgotten my quest for a weapon of some sort, and I began to climb. I only remembered when I happened to put my foot on a little pistol.
“Interesting,” I murmured, picking it up. It had a wide snout, large enough – and not by coincidence, either – to hold a tart. “Perfect,” I said. “This will do nicely, at least until I get something a bit larger.”
I continued up the stairs, and very soon it opened up into battlements, and I found myself standing on the top of the Jadestone Fortress, looking down at a scene of total chaos.
And then a pie hit me squarely in the back and I tumbled over the battlements right into the middle of a duel.
~~~~~~
I’m not sure if this is powerplaying or not, but seeing as I didn’t say what duel, it doesn’t matter. Shame I don’t have any enemies.
264- “As I him.”
266- It can be my duel with PC, then. I don’t think falling into us would be powerplaying as you’re not saying what we do in responce. You’re neither a Jadestone or a Vinilla (Alice, that is. Ecila is with Vinilla I think) so it should turn out interesting.
Prarilius Canix turns towards me, and I’m very glad I had been on Ishtar for most of the battle, so I was still rather energized. I backed up a pace and drew a soard from one of my fallen soldiers sheath — a pie archer who had been knocked out by a pie to the back of the head. With it in my right hand and my pie sling-shot versus him and his weapons, it should be a farely even duel.
As we began to charge at one another, there was a short shriek and a lady wearing the brown of Choklit tumbled into the middle of us. I barely managed to skid to a stop in front of her, I didn’t usually expect girls to fall at me from the sky. Taking advantage of the moments confusion, I stepped back and fired a blueberry stright into PC’s face with my slingshot.
Yeah, I’m not on a side.
~~~~~
The blueberry pie whizzed several feet over my head, and I leaped up, pulling the tart pistol out of my pocket as I did so. I aimed in what I hoped was a threatening manner at the woman in green, and then at the man with whom she was dueling.
eh…are people ignoring my post? if so I’ll do something different, let me know.
I instinctively lash out with the sword and claw at the purple gunk obscuring my face. With sugar still in my eyes, the face of the woman in front of me is blurred, but she still looks familiar. “Ecila?” I ask in confusion.
Then a huge boom shakes the fortress to its foundations, and I see that the Pastry Queen has crashed into a wall, exploding on impact. I take advantage of the confusion to clear the remaining pie from my face and thrust at Jadestone.
“Gad! It did more damage than I expected! the walls look like they’re coming down! PC! GET OUT OF THERE!”
“Woohoo! Now THAT was an explosion. Now, to take out Glassboro. I think this Strawberry Scimitar may come in handy…”
I run over to where Glassboro is nursing his wounds. “Hey Glassface, eat strawberries!”
Wow, I haven’t been on here in forever… sorry about that. But this post should have been soon after my last one.
As we were forced up the stairs by the guard, Alice broke away and started running toward the front door. “Go, Alice, go!!” I screamed after her. The guard turned around and glared at me. (If looks could kill!) “What did you say?” he asked in a deadly whisper. Luckily, I was saved from answering as a pie flew in the open window and hit the guard’s shoulder. Yes! I pulled my arm out of his grasp and ran up to the battlements.
The pies were falling thick and fast. One look around and it was clear to me that there was nothing I could do here. But… if I could get back down to the kitchens perhaps I could do something there. I grabbed a spare pie sword off the ground and took the emergency exit down to the first floor.
Once I got to the kitchens my first thought was that there was a battle down there too. Then I realized that the chefs were just making pies really, really fast. Super fast. But not fast enough. “Can I help?” I asked the head chef. “Can you make pies?” he retorted. “Well… I, um, ” I stammered. “Scram!!!” he shouted. Right. So much for that.
As I was leaving, I saw a stack of pies that nobody was using. “What are those there for?” I asked a passing chef. “Oh, those,” she said, “those aren’t very good. They’re only for emergencies.” Emercencies, huh? Had she seen what was going on upstairs? Without asking, I took as many as I could carry and sprinted out of the castle.
I rushed to the woods and put pies onto the sword. I had seen guards do it hundreds of times. It wasn’t really that hard. Okay, so it was. It just took me a little longer to get the pies onto the sword than the guards do. Once the sword was loaded with pies, I emerged from the woods, finally feeling useful.
I heard a muffled yell from Gimanator, but I couldn’t tell what he was saying. The walls were buckling, but they seemed to be holding in place. I was suddenly thankful that Jadestone had splurged on the extra pietanium reinforcements.
Speaking of Jadestone… I realized that she was fit and fresh as a daisy, whereas I had just spent a grueling two hours running and fighting. Despite the fact that we were evenly matched skill-wise, I was gradually going on the defensive. My six-shooter and sword were completely occupied blocking her sword and shooting away the pies from her slingshot, so I had no advantage in weaponry. I needed a plan quickly.
Suddenly, I looked at the woman from Chocolate and noticed a purple armband around her wrist. The color… of Blackberry.
Suddenly, I made a connection. Ecila had mentioned a sister. This woman looked so much like her…
“Alice!” I yelled, taking a wild chance. “I know where your sister is! Help me defeat Jadestone, and I’ll tell you!”
Not exactly the most noble thing to do, but hey, I was in danger here. I tossed her my KeyLimeCannon and went on with the battle.
273- He’s mine!
“Get away! I’m taking this one! On you’re feet, greenie! Let’s see what that soard can do.”
I fire a purpleberry pie straight at his face.
Taking a break from the lab, I went into the hall to check on Ag and see how he was moving in, but I found him to have disappeared. Then, I heard a battle cry outside. Ag’s. Peering out the fortress window, I saw a calamity ensuing at the Jadestone fortress. The time for action was now.
Suiting up in my pietanum armor, I found the Staff of Naturally and Artificially Sweet Victory. I dashed down to the lab quickly, and grabbed my special megaphone. Out to the stable. Borealia had been listening to the sounds of the battle, and was pacing about in her massive stall anxiously.
“Are you ready, girl?” I asked. “We have to fly.”
She let out a mighty screech. Quickly putting her armor on, we saddled up. She ran from the stables, past the Yeti horses and Pie animal, out into open ground. When she had reached a speed of 85 mph, she unfolded her wings, and soared high into the sky. The Jadestone fortress, only a few miles away, came into view quickly. People in robes of all colors whirled about on the ground, flinging pies desperately at each other. I got out my megaphone.
“STOP!!!” They halted, dumbfounded, looking up at my dragon and me, the tiny figure who rode her. Borealia breathed out a stream of cherry pies. An eighth of the warriors were covered. They all began to protest.
“SILENCE! I, GWENDOLYN OF THE EASTERN SEAS, COMMANDER OF THE OPPOSITION, INVENTOR OF THE GREAT PIE WAR, DEMAND YOU SHOW ME THE LOCATION OF AGAGABAGABAG ZEPATA, VALUABLE MEMBER OF THE OP! IF YOU DO NOT, YOU WILL FACE THE CONSEQUENCES!”
They all stared for a second, and then went back to pieing each other. I became infuriated. Unsheathing the staff from its case, I shook it three times. The zeppelins, high in the stratoshphere, received the command. Borealia and I began to glide away as soon as the monster pies were visible, tiny specks in the sky. The beast-pastries are sixty feet in diameter, and weigh twelve tons. Borealia and I will view the destruction, and keep at it, until the relinquish Ag. We’re not losing another one.
277- Another one? Ooh.
A voice resounded from outside. I gritted my teeth. Why did Gwendolyn have to show up now?
Then the roof began buckling. I heard strange growling noises, and smelled fresh-baked pastry mixed with animal sweat. The fortress, having been hit with a total of:
5 lbs. EBC
5 cruise pies
Innumerable key lime and blueberry pies
1 plasma plum pie
1 photon pie
1 ship filled with various explosives
and now:
Indeterminate number of twelve-ton monster pies
was beginning to collapse. Pietanium chunks were raining all around. The Vanillins were beginning to retreat, as were the Jadestones, in disarray. Soon, only Jadestone, her faithful right-hand man Glassboro, Piggy, Agabagabag Zepata, Alice and I remained in the crumbling hall, locked in intense combat.
Alice didn’t seem to be doing much of anything. I dodged an especially fierce blow from Jadestone and danced backward, trying to buy some time to think. I didn’t want to finish her off: she’d been a worthy adversary, and there’d been friendship between us in the past. But if I didn’t, the consequences for me, and for Vanilla, would be unpleasant.
I realized that the booms from the ceiling came at regular intervals, followed by showers of mangled pietanium. Counting carefully, I found the time elapsing to be 11 seconds. I fended off Jadestone’s attack and retreated, drawing her closer to the heap of pietanium.
He knows Ecila! I thought, my heart leaping, and I launched a pie straight at the face of the woman that he was dueling with.
And then a very large pie hit me in the face, and I fell backward, banging my head on the hard floor. The noise of the battle seemed very far away, and then, for the second time in a day, blackness enveloped me.
Gah. I’m out of the action again. I wish I didn’t have to be, but I’ll be gone until Monday, so I can’t do anything else. Meh.
ack! both my posts were deleted! I grappled to glassboro and drew my encrusted golf club of pecan to flank him with glssboro. “Pay attention agagabagabag, the walls are crumbling!”
About a half way to the fortress, I stopped Borealia. We hung in mid-air, watching the surreal scene taking place before us. Giant pies crashed down from the heavens, instigating a retreat of those outside the fortress. Anyone who couldn’t make it out in time was buried alive. The jade walls of the fortress began to crumble, until only the main hall remained. I heard the sounds of fighting, and the voices of five or six people coming from within. Ag’s battle cry again. The collapse of the fortress didn’t seem to faze them at all. Hand-to-hand combat was the only answer, if I wanted Ag back alive. I always bring an extra invention, and it was time for the newest one… The Katana of Crustiness. A deep cut from it would quickly be filled with impermeatable crust, stopping the blood flow in a matter of minutes. A shallow cut would make the crust spread up to a foot from the original incision, if well-made, paralyzing that portion of the body.
“Borealia, I need you to fly me back. Go home afterwards,” I whispered in my dragon’s ear. She roared in acknowledgement, and then went speeding towards the Jadestone Fortress. In no time at all, we were there. I dismounted, and she flew off.
Quietly creeping in, I saw separate duels playing out. They were all too heavily engaged to notice me. Ag was holding up nicely, but then I saw my old ally, Jadestone.
“Jadestone!” I cried. She didn’t look up from the battle.
“Gwen!” she shouted, recognizing my voice.
“Need some help?” I asked. Nobody else seemed to have noticed. Struggling against Prarilius Canix, she yelled, “Sure!”
I charged in to the duel. Before making a single hit, I stopped. I saw a figure behind PC.
“Alice?” I asked. PC had seen me, and lunged at me. I struck with the katana, making a shallow slash on his forearm. Within seconds, it had crept all around his forearm. A second later, it was paralyzed. His hand flopped uselessly from the wrist. Switching hands, he shot at me with the sixshooter. It hit the addominal part of my pietanium armor, stopping me for a nanosecond. It left a deep dent, and it was harder to breathe properly from the diaphragm, but I could keep going.
The impermeable crust had handicapped me, but it had also given me a weapon that Gwen hopefully didn’t expect. I feinted as if to fire again, then straightened up and smashed Gwen in the face with my forearm. Her pietanium helmet protected her from the worst of the blow, but it crumpled inward. I hoped she wouldn’t be able to see through it well.
Pressing my advantage, I shot several pies at her face. She stumbled backward and tripped over a piece of debris.
A pie soared towards me, htting my soard arm, making me wince. It seemed to have some from the woman behind Canix, but she went down from another’s pie before I had a chance to do anything.
Gwen! I couldn’t hear you over the fight before! Is everything all right?” I ducked a pie as it shot from PC’s shooter, then lept back as he swiped at me. I lunged forward in an attempt to land my soard’s tip just before his throat, but he knocked it aside with his shooter just in time. But I was gaining the upper hand, I could feel it… if only my fortress wasn’t coming down. It’d lasted through a lot, but this looked as if it’d be it’s last siege.A well-aimed shot nearly got me, but Gwen blocked it just in time. “Thanks!” I called. I risked a glance upwards, grimicing a bit. Fortunatly, Gwen’s new weapon had done something entirely odd to Prarilius, and he was slowly losing ground.
Oh, curse moderation again. Forget the last post, except for the first paragraph.
As Canix shot at Gwen, I jumped at his momentary distraction to land a good blow on his weaker arm, which held his pie-shooter. If I jarred it enough, as I seemed to have done, he’s have issues aiming for Gwen and give her a chance to recover. At nearly the same moment I fired my own volly of rcherry-rubber-cement right into his face, trying to stay out of reach of his stiffened right arm.
(286) Does that help?
I barged forward in Jadestone’s direction, slamming directly into her and shoving her in the path of a shower of pietanium. Taking this momentary respite to claw the gunk from my face, I wheeled around and seized the pie cannon from Alice’s unconscious grip. Then I fired a barrage of key limes, bracing the cannon against my paralyzed arm. Gwendolyn was buried under a heap of pies. I turned around and raced into the rubble to confront Jadestone again.
Struggling momentarily, I emerged from the mass of key lime pies. He was once again preoccupied with Jadestone. Alice, who seemed to confused and frightened to do much, was standing there, doing nothing. I furtively tip-toed behind his back, and, doing the best I could with my dented armor, swished the katana in three rapid movements Skipper taught me when starting out as a young inventor for The Op. I drove the blade deep down his back and his legs. Pie crust began to spread, and I knew in moments his legs and the upper half of his body would be uselss in combat. He tried to turn to get me, but the crust wouldn’t let him. Jadestone let out a whoop. The crust would render him totally immobile neck down (excluding his arms) in about eight seconds. I dashed quickly and made another long, deep cut on his cannon arm, the one without crust. A nick in his shoulder on the other partially-encrusted one was all it took. I got that hand quick as I could. The crust had solidified. All that remained was his head. I approached the motionless PC, and delicately made a small nick on his nose. Like a flash, his face was covered. In all essence, he was a pie-crust fossil.
*whistles in appreciation at quick moderation*
The crust was hardening even as I struggled, but I had one trick left. Wiggling my finger fractionally, I managed to press the button that ignited the remainder of the EBC.
Fortunately the charge was focused outward, otherwise I’d have been disemboweled. The crust was harder than I thought- still solid- but a long fissure ran along the inside, parallel to my torso. And that could be worked with. I thought I’d keep still. Perhaps Gwen and Jadestone would leave me unguarded, thinking I was no longer a threat, and I’d have a chance to break out.
I turned due to the loud yelling behind me, It appeared that PC was gone, and they had conjured a pie crust mummy.
“Oh, yeah, and I suppose you’re just going to trick me like that!”
I turned to Jadestone, she was the one fighting PC, so she was probably why he was gone. Holding up my pie golf club, I feinted just enough to move her and pulled out my pie rifle, firing off three shots at her head. “Think you can outsmart me, Jadestone? I’ve had years of experience on the seas of mint.”
it was close enough to a bluff, as I had seen her fighting skill already, and the strange lady behind her looked pretty frightening, too. But with my current skill, I might just be able to win this fight
I heard Gimanator’s war cry, and knew I had a chance. Between Piggy, Agagabagabag, and Gimanator himself, they could keep Jadestone occupied while I broke out.
A thought occurred to me. Gwendolyn is fighting on the side of Jadestone, but Agagabagabag is against Jadestone. However, he’s her inferior in the Op hierarchy, so he might turn against Piggy and Gimanator. It would be four against two.
I shifted my weight and began rolling, which is hard to do in a pie-crust cocoon. I remembered that the back exit was just behind me. If I could get out… It was a sheer drop to the moat, and there were rocks at the bottom. The pie crust would protect me, but it would probably split on impact. Then it was just a matter of evading the dwarf kraken and getting back to the main force. With monster pies hitting the hall every 11 seconds, it was sure to collapse soon, and without their leaders, the Jadestones and Op might be at a disadvantage.
Of course, we would lose Gimanator and Piggy too. But they might get out. They were brave and resourceful.
Then again, so were Jade and Gwen.
Spotting PC’s figure wiggling slightly, I charged over before rushing to help Ag. I took out a small spray bottle I had been carrying in a pocket. It looked as though he wewre about to make a large crack in his encasment. I spritzed the contents of the bottle all over the pie-crust mummy. The crust glowed blue, and then turned into a steely-looking outer layer. This was a special spray I kept for those rare few with the strength a determination to break from the crust. PC is now unable to be freed, inside or out, for forty-eight hours. By then, we’ll have found something to do with him.
I rushed to Ag, unsheathing the Katana.
“Ag!” I hollered.
“What’s going on?!” I cried, blocking blows from various weapons.
we need a new therd.
as I talked to ecila (see pie war therd) I heard a sound. I turned around and saw the fortress falling. as I watched I heared a scream, but did not know if it was vainilla or jadestone or the ops. I only hope jadestone is okay.
293- The only open door is the gate. I locked the back one in the control room, if you’ll recall.
“What is going on? I thought Jadestone was the enemy!”
I turn my attention away from the cowering Glassboro, giving him one last purpleberry.
“Sorry, Gim, but I gotta obey orders!”
I plast the gim with purpleberry pies.
“Fancy lookin sword there, Gwen! How do ya like mine?”
I slashed gimanator on the arm.
“One question, gwen. As part of the ops, isn’t it my duty to pie jadestone? That was my first objective.”
I overheard Gwen explaining the provenance of the spray to Agagabagabag. 48 hrs is a long time. Well, the inside of the casing is porous, so I can breathe, and it also seems edible and moist. The worst that can happen is getting a horrible cramp. And even that danger seems to have disappeared. Although the spray hardened the outside to pietanium density, the inside seems to have expanded. I can wriggle about a bit. Of course, I’m still trapped, but this may work to my advantage…
GENERAL TRANSMISSION FROM PRARILIUS CANIX TO ALL VANILLINSATTENTION ALL VANILLINS. FIRE CRUISE PIE AT WEAKEST POINT IN STRUCTURE OF MAIN HALL. COLLAPSE IT AT ALL COSTS.
SPECIAL TRANSMISSION FROM PRARILIUS CANIX TO PIGGY
GET OUT OF THE FORTRESS NOW.
Cowering? You think that I cower in fear? I am not afraid, and if I must give my life for the Jadestone side I will gladly give it.
299- Yeah, but now we’re fighting together.
*wiping gunk from eyes*
“Some how I expected that, you know, old friend.”
*Swings golf club directy at agagabagabag’s knocking him down, and likely out, although, there is no telling, he’s a tough warrior*
*is not sure other post will get through*
Anyhoo, I wipe the pie out of my eyes.
“Somehow, I expected that, old friend.”
*swings glof club at ags head, knocking him down, and likely out, though he is pretty tough, a golf club could easily kill an average man*
*Moan* “Whaa? What just… wah.” I fall over again.
*Picks up ag, and begins to run*
I’ll be gone all day, so i’ll intervene later.
In the main duel, I offered conversation to Ag and Jadestone.
“Well, Ag, I can understand your mistake. But you see, Jadestone and I are old allies. However, if you have a quarrel with Glassboro, settle it, by all means. Just do it quickly, hm? Because we have to get out- fast. Those pies are much stronger than I gave them credit for.”
At this, a huge chunk of ceiling fell out, nearly crushing Man-Gator. In his momentary distraction, I thrust the katana deep into his stomach. He stops to clutch the wound, and then I get his neck.
“Jadestone,” I said, turning to her while blocking blows from an unknown enemy.
“I’m terribly sorry about the cathassus I’m leaving your fortress in. See, I thought it had been overun, and Ag taken hostage. If there is any way I can apologize-” at this moment, Piggy took a well-aimed shot right at my heart. I was thrust back into the wall, armor dented again. The mightiest rumble yet shook the building.
“AG! JADESTONE! WE HAVE TO GET OUT, NOW! ONE OF YOU GRAB PC, AND SOMEONE ELSE GRAB ALICE! I’LL MAKE IT OUT SOMEHOW!” The building shook tremendously. I staggered to my feet, weak in the knees from the force with which I had been slammed into the wall. I was lucky if something wasn’t broken.
Then I noticed Ag had been knocked out with a golf club, and was being made away with by Man-Gator, who was miraculously resilient to the pie-crust spreading all over him. He was making for the way out, quickly. There was nothing we could do at this point. Just hope for the best.
“WE HAVE TO GET OUT, NOW! JADESTONE, HAVE SOME OF YOUR FORCES GRAB PC AND ALICE, FAST! GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!”
The wall behind me groaned sickeningly.
*has one last post*
*throws last pie at weakest spot in the main hall*
“This outa do it!”
*Hall peices fall down onto the warriors*
If someone has an objection its best, let me know, or else I think it’s power play.
I object! We gotta let the others do their thangs before the hall collapses!
287- Thank you!
“ALL PEOPLE MUST LEAVE THE FORTRESS NOW!!” I bellowed into my comunicator. Most of my men had already evacuated, and there was nly one left helping a wozy pie-archer out. They were almost across the moat, they would definatly make it out in time. I scopped up PC and slung him across my shoulder, wincing as the crust rubbed against me.
Drawing a whistle from my pocket, I belw one long, loud, note on it and hurd the aproaching rumble of Ishtar as he sped towards my command. As he left the forest, I was relieved to see that while he was limping and looked a bit bedraggled and worse for wear, he was still up. I slid onto his back, wedging Canix in front of me. We ran over to whre Alice slumped against the ground, she seemed to have recovered somewhat but was still to wozy to understand what was going on. I pulled her up behnd me, using a peice of ripped tunic to tie her to my waist to make sure she didn’t fall. At this point it was rather crowed on top of my poler bear, but I didn’t know if anyone else still needed help. Glassboro could manage on his own, I knew.
Then I saw Gwen, stagering by my wall and making her way out. She looked as if she had been hit again, so I swung off Ishtar and managed to slide her on before she realized what I was doing. I was still relitively fresh, despite my vicious battle with Prarilius, ut she seemed to be having trouble breathing. I didn’t know if Borealia could get here in time to fly her to safty. I yelled for him to take them into a hideout in the forest where my side was to gather in the event of an emergency, and he roared and cleard the moat in one leap. With one last look at my crumbling fortress, I turned and followed his trail.
Well, it was coming down, so that could just be the straw the broke the camels back. (Excuse the cliché, I really didn’t mean it. I was up till 5 or so last night. *yawns*)
I sat on Ishtar, barely aware of what was happening. I could only focus on two things- one, the massive pain I felt in the middle of my gut that was making it hard to breathe, and two, the fact that Ag was being taken by Man-Gator. I didn’t know if the crust had hindered him significantly enough so he had stopped wherever he was, of if he was still making his way along, going back to his own. We splashed through a cold pool of blueberry filling, and I regained some conciousness of what was happening. I saw PC’s pie mummy and Alice, tied to Ishtar’s back to keep from falling. I had been gripping tufts of his fur to keep from sliding off, almost instinctively. Jadestone was a few meters behind us, running to keep up. I sat up slowly.
“Jadestone!” I yelled in a hoarse voice. Pain shot up my chest.
“You’ll never make it in time! They’re-” gasp of agony- “folllowing us! Let me call Borealia!She’ll-” Another gasp “-be here quick, and can transport all of us back to The Op’s fortress!” I shuddered. Either something was broken, or seriously fractured. “I’ve put a shield and a cloaking device on it! She has more than enough room to take everyone! Please, just-” big gasp. Hands tremoring, I took Borealia’s special whistle, and blew with all the breath I could muster. I heard a familiar roar. Good old Borealia. She hadn’t gone back at all. Hurtling down, she swooped towards us, scooping up Jadestone, Alice, PC, me, and a very confused Ishtar. I mumbled something about Glassboro, and Borealia shrieked. She went faster, and soon scooped him up. As Jadestone had predicted, he was fine. Just as we were starting to turn around to get to the fortress, a giant pie zoomed by. Looking back, I saw the outline of The Pastry Queen. Another pie came flying at us. And another, and another. All close shots.
“BOREALIA, QUICK!!!” I yelled hoarsely, before I blacked out completely. The next thing I saw, Jadestone, Glassboro, and PC’s mummy were standing over me. I was lying on a bed, my pietanium armor was off, the katana (which I had somehow saved during the implosion) was on a stand beside me, and I had a splitting headache. But I recognized the room; The Op Medical Hall.
“So we made it?” I asked.
Gwen didn’t seem to be aware of how much damage the EBC had done before the spray. Although the outside was like pietanium, the inside was beginning to crack. If only I had another weapon… but the only things I had powerful enough to blow a way out would also blow a hole through me.
Fortunately, the crack would significantly decrease the time it took for the spray to wear off. In the meantime, I had managed to activate my headset. Turning the volume to full blast, I turned on the automatic tracking mechanism. A booming voice broadcast my location- and that of the Jadestones who held me captive- to every Vanilla communicator still working. Jadestone is smart- she would soon figure out what was happening, and ditch me in order to not be found. Then, if the Vanillins discovered me, they could use some of the Apple Acid that Piggy was distilling to melt through the crust.
But it had been longer than I expected since my encrusting, and cracks were beginning to spread out from the central crack. I could hear voices outside, and smelled disinfectant and key lime. A pie medical hall. I would wait a while to break out, when they were at their most disadvantaged. In the meantime, I cut off the location broadcast and began speaking to all Vanilla troops.
“Gather as much pietanium and usable weapons from the Jadestone fortress as you can, then return to Fort V. If I’m not back in 42 hours, Piggy will take over as commander.”
Right, I thought grimly. My side was taken care of. If I couldn’t get out of this cocoon, I’d set off the rest of the pie grenades and take the leaders of the Jadestone and Opposition with me.
WE NEED A NEW THERD!
rushing over to the fort I dare not to enter It.I saw that there was just a small chanch that jadestone would get out, but she has to. there is no way that she could die. but I know that she might and so I take my pies and go on into the fort.
Almost instinctlively, I sat up, grabbed the spray (which was on the stand), and sprayed the pie-crust mummy. We had forty-eight hours again. Glassboro and Jadestone looked at me strangely. Then, I flopped back onto my back.
“Kelshino… where…”
I just wish to see my trusted pwnie before I die.
I see pc. he is out of the fort, but is watching it fall. he will never know that I have thown a kokopelli cherry pie (there are golf balls, not cherrys, in it.) he will fall, and with him vinillllla.
313- What grenades?
Hungry… food… purple… berries
I pass out again.
317- You’re a little behind the times, aren’t you? I’m in the Op fort now, trapped. So is Jadestone, only not trapped.
I turned my headset to audio broadcast and turned the volume up. “Nice to see- or, rather, hear- you all. You’ve got about 42 hours to release me, or my side will assume I’m dead. They’re very loyal, you know. Also very vengeful. And they’ve got all of Jadestone’s supplies. The succession is assured- another commander will take over. Jadestone, your fortress is destroyed. You are only alive and free through the benevolence of the Op, a side whose leader is hospitalized and whose best fighter is dying on the battlefield.”
“And in case you’re thinking of taking me as a hostage to control my side, isn’t this crust supposed to be impenetrable? I’ll be safe for a full 6 hours past the deadline. You’re in far less control than you think. I’d consider coming to some sort of agreement.”
319- opps!
I run to the ops fort. I, man gator is dying, I hear, gwendolyn is ill, and canix is in a pie cocoon. this is not going well.
Didja here the part about your best fighter dying on the battlefield? I could use some help!
322- oh. I thought that was i,man-gator.
“Well?”
*dahes off to vanilla fort and…(see other thread)…
323-…who is, in fact, gimanator…
A human speech came from the pie crust mummy. I sat up. Whoever had healed me did an excellent job. It still hurt something fierce, but before I had felt a nasty shifting when I moved. I didn’t now. We all shared a grmmace. PC was capable of talking, and from what I could discern, it was negotiation time. But some things had to come first.
“I have a question,” I said.
“Where is Alice? I know her from way back when, and I think we grabbed her on the way out, but I could be mistaken.
“And next, I have an apology to make. Jadestone, your fortress is destroyed. This is mostly my fault. I was so afraid for Ag’s safety that I acted rashly, assuming that the enemy had overrun your stronghold. It didn’t look well for you, no offense. But it certainly looks worse now. And I got myself hurt in the process. If you would have killed me while I was passed out, I wouldn’t have blamed you. And you could have left me to die in the fortress when it collapsed. I am eternally grateful, and if you plan to do something nasty to me, I have it coming.
“Now the entire Vanilla side has its guns pointed at we here at The Op Fortress, ready to kill us. This is virtually all my fault. Within two days, we could be flattened to the ground. The cloaking device will stay for all eternity if nobody switches it off, but the shield around the fort, like all shields, has its limits, even if these particular restrictions aren’t nearly as severe as anything else’s. If you two want to leave, be my guest. But remember, it’s dangerous to go, and doubtless they have found or are about to find your Plan B location.
“Should you choose to stay, we certainly have some bargaining to do. I have not forgotten that they have Ag. They also have whatever was salvageable from the Jadestone Fortress, which, while not being much, might be significant enough to start reconstruction. We could negotiate a trade for Ag, Op warrior, and the remnants of Fort Jadestone, for their leader, Prarilius Canix. As leader, he is of infinite value, and I think we could get away with that deal.
“I think also that we forgot one of your top chiefs, the man for aeiou. I apologize. He was nowhere to be found at the battle scene, and he completely slipped my mind. Hopefully, he will have learned something under your capable command, and be able to fend for himself for the time being.”
it’s been a gradual change. I’m still a little unclear as to who knows who I am…
327- “hey! I am not a chef! I am the jadestone sides spy!” I yelled at gwendolyn.
“Sounds like an excellent deal. I’ll contact my side and inform them of it. Where will we meet for the trade?”
330- the remnants of castle choklit.
to the ops and the jadestone side: please tell me if this works:
we, the ops and the jadestone side here by say we will never team up. the jaeops with never be created.
signed,
the man for aeiou, spy
“Listen! No talking, no trade!” I won’t let it go like this!”
the carnage is great… this was sopost to be nice because pies can not kill people… this is worse than the great pie war of 2006…cholkit… vanilllla… jadestone… ops… there forts all destored… because of this I just what to end it…
treaty of _____ (we can think of a name later)
1. we amit that the best ic craem is vanchocstaw
2. we will rebuild the lands
3. we will built a memorial to the fall solger
listen, at this rate, they’ll get off too easy! I have a seperate treaty!
The ruins of Chocolate Castle it is. Tomorrow.
After the switch is made, shall we call a ceasefire? Both sides have pretty much exhausted themselves. Note- a ceasefire, not a permanent treaty. The war is not over, it is merely paused.
Sounds good to me. When shall the ceasefire end?
(Hmm, I thought I posted here before)
“A cease fire it is. We both will need time to rebuild.”
“Gwen, I have no emnity towads you at the moment.You thought a member of your side was in danger, and wanted to help him. I would have done the same for my side. And when you saw what was going on, you didn’t just leave, you stayed and helped. I thank you for that.
About the fortress… well, Vinilla wass doing all they could to take it down. They would have done so eventually. We’ll have to rebuild it, but at least the pietanium is to heavy and big for Vinilla to drag away, so we can use the ruins to help start again. I would greatly appreciate it if my side could speand a day or so recovering from the battle, however, and if you would allow us to do so.
329- She said ‘Cheif’ not ‘chef.’
Right. Where am I again? I’m just as confused as if I really had knocked my head on the floor. Must be all the salt water in my ears…
Oh no! I’m too late! I’ve been away for a week.
I stumble out of the ruins of the green fortress, having been knocked unconsious earlier that day by a piece of broken ceiling. I walk a few paces, and then collapse.
I sent in a map. Did you get it?
339- You’re at the Op Fortress, and, as far as I can tell, are probably unconcious somewhere in the hospital wing. We grabbed you before the Jadestone Fortress collapsed. You are more than welcome to stay for however long you need. And I might be able to help you, if you need any kind of help.
“I am glad you are not angry, Jadestone. Your forces may take all the time they need here to recuperate.”
Looking around, I saw Alice, still knocked out, on the bed next to mine. She had a nasty-looking knot almost as big as a walnut coming out the left side of her head. That was going to need attention later.
I turned my attention to PC’s pie mummy.
“Very well. Name the time and the place for negotiations. Bring Ag and the remnants of the Jadestone Fortress, and we shall bring Prarilius Canix, your commanding officer. I was thinking somewhere along the lines of a week-long ceasefire. That way, the Jadestones could rebuild their fortress, and we’d all have time to resupply and heal some of the soldiers with less serious wounds. But we will leave that for the meeting.”
I turned to Jadestone.
“I could swear I heard your chief, the man for aeiou, blathering on about how we wouldn’t agree to the treaty, and how we won’t collaborate. I think this is awful, him thinking he can make such deals without the approval of his commander. If that were any Op member, I would disown them immediately. But, seeing as he’s yours, never mind it. ”
Alice groaned in her unconcious state. Mimi help her, that looked awful. Hopefully, she didn’t have any severe brain damage.
342- I called you on the other thread. please respond.
“I’m not bringing ag if you don’t listen to me.”
“Now, I shall kill ag if you do not get gwen to talk to me.”
(she’s probably offline; stall)
“I’m here, for the love of Zark! What do you request? We have some ideas of our own about the agreement, but please introduce yours first.”
It’s on the other thread.
It’s no longer an agreement, but a threat.
342- “what are you talking about! you are not understanding what I am saying!”
sigh. how does a ten day cease fire sounds?
349- “After the switch is made. At Chocolate Castle.”
I sent in a map of the entire flavor continent. here are some problems it has:
Chocolate and Vanilla, the two largest countries, are power-hungry and constantly at war.
Butterscotch, Caramel, and Peanut butter were once the same country, but they split up, and now the three ethnic groups are fighting for dominance of the region.
Tofu is a mostly peaceful island of liberals, who are under attack from the wild spagghettis.
Strawberry and pomegranate are fighting for dominance of the juice industry.
North and south apple are fighting about whether the country should be red or green. Kurd apple (tee hee!) wants it to be yellow.
Nectarine is being bullied by orange, who want it for their territory.
The rich aristocrats of Grape are bribing the blackberry leaders to do what they want, enraging the blackberry people.
Pour bluberry is being swept up in all of this.
I apologize in advance for all the cracks in the continent. Just think of them as lakes.
Now, you seem to have kept it at a stalemate. Now that I am back from Morris dancing in Toronto the tides shall be turned in the favor of the Jadestone side!
*draws soard, in a challenge to all foes* Come, I shall deal with you all.
Whew! I’m back on the right thread.
*Knocks on front gate*
“Let me in! lt’s agagabagabag and several hundred HPBs!”
:idea:s? why? whatever, come in. *opens gates*
342- Thank you.
351- Sounds fun.
I’m still too lazy to type anything of great length.
354- Well, l thought we could use extra troops.
I like cheese. Perhaps I shall create a new sticky cheese pie?
From agagabagabag, a map of the Flavor Continent:
Ah. Very good.
It came! Huzzah!
I stormed up to the infirmary.
“Gwen, I need to borrow the fastest dragon you have before our final stand.”
Oh dear… Is there still a battle raging? That’s not good for me.
Jadestone, everything I stood for is destroyed because of this traitor Gimanator. If you let me out, I swear by the Eight Paths to Sweetness, the Recipe for Disaster and the Five Encircling Crusts that I will not harm you or Gwen until he is defeated.”
The man once was gimanator…but war twisted his mind, and he became something worse…I, man-gator ravaged the bases and leaders, Insane…muhuhuhahaha…I am bored. Which is why I posted that. Maybe more people will post on these threads, then I won’t be bored.
362- What’re you talking about?! You’re at my fort!
Ag burst into the infirmary with a request for a quick dragon.
“Ag! Good to see you alive! I regret not being able to help you at the Battle of Fort Jadestone, but that is in the past, and we must face a bigger foe now. Gimanator, your captor, is dangerous, possibly insane, and doubtless will recruit soldiers to stall our revenge against him. Jadestone, Prarilius Canix, and I are combining forces to combat him.”
I gestured to the two other commanders, Prarilius shaking the last bits of crust off while talking with piggy. He looked rather moist.
“Let’s not be hasty. This will require strategy. And I am still not at my best.” I gestured to the bandages wrapped around my abdomen.
“And we have yet to treat our guest, who may appear to be Chocolatian, but is in fact Blueberric.”
I rose stiffly, and rolled up Alice’s sleeves. As I had hoped, there was a purple band around one of them, indicating her true nationality.
“I know this lady, Alice, from a while back, and find it strange she is not travelling with her sister, Ecilia.”
PraCan shot me a look that said “I do know, though”. I shot my eyebrows up, but nodded.
“Let’s see… I am no deft hand at healing. Would one of you administer a painkiller before waking this woman up?”
“My apologies. When encased in steel-like crust, I find it hard to discern who is the mistress of this house.
And I propose that the ceasefire shall go into effect once Gimanator is defeated.
Let me explain what I know of the situation. Gimanator has very foolishly blown up our fortress, the only place where he could have gotten a reasonable amount of supplies and weaponry. He will probably head for the Jadestone ruins in hopes of finding some still functional pie throwing equipment there.”
What happend to the skipper nancy?
“Oh. So do we fight you when he’s defeated? Does he have an army?”
he didn’t say that he stole equipment first?*shuffles over to other thread to check actions*well, if I didn’t, I meant to.
wait, I said i did. comment 172, I said it to you over the phone. I have also gotten troops to carry all the excess.In case you didn’t know.
Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m lying unconcious in the middle of a battle field!
366-yes, I have gotten troops for my cause.
* in smc city of clouds, Eronion’s shower *
dumm de dumm duum …ba bum da dumm… *bump bump BUMP*
*shower water turns off* what?? *shower water turns on at maximum blast, freezing cold* argh!!! *rushes out* must be those mortals throwing pies again!! they must be punished!! i will take my strawberry mint chip weapons and grade AA chocolate milk strategies, and destroy them so the shower doesn’t turn on and off!! Muwahahaha! Mwahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!
* Uses a minty private jet to warp to the mortal plane*
369- I’m lying unconscious in the Op fortress, or else I would come and find you. And it’s not a battlefield anymore, because no-one is fighting.
But wait . . .
good point. But I’m waiting for the other leaders to try and find me. I have a plan.
I’m confused. Who’s Gimantor? Why is Alice unconcious? And why is Eronion Marathas attacking mortals like……..Ulp…….. us?
* appears on flavor continent*
heh, they think they have the right to be called the continent of flavor, they do not even have any strawberry- mint chip icecream! bwa- hahahaa!
375-it’s my previous alias. She was hit by a pie, so she banged her head on the floor, knocking her out. We broke his shower. Actually, I know who he is. He just wanted to join the pie war without picking a side.
376- it is just any flavor. stawberry- mint is not a flavor. it is a type of ice cream. mint is a nomadic tribe that goes around most of the continent but does not come in to cholate after the war started.
(just so everyone knows I am at the place were pc and jadestone and qwendele are.)
” so how about we send super pies to him and then he will die”
you think I will die that easily? I’m hardy, burly, and a fantastic swordsman. Heck, I’m a pirate! I even have loads of equipment and an army of about 250 it’s not much, but you guys don’t have that many troops at the moment. I’ll bet, altogether you have…1200.
I woke in a bed that I certainly hadn’t been in when I was awake. My head hurt terribly, but this situation was too strange to ignore, much as I would have liked to. All I could remember of the duel was a man who said he knew my sister, a woman dressed in green, and a pie flying towards my head at an extremely fast clip.
I sat up. There was a mirror on the other side of the room, and I instantly saw the source of my pain. It was impossible to miss, and for a horrified moment I only stared.
Then there was a slight noise from another bed, and I turned around and saw someone whom I hadn’t seen in years. “Gwen!”
For a moment I was unsure what had happened to the fortress. It was impossible for my mind to take in the entire scene of chaos at once, and it wasn’t until I had been standing there for five or ten minutes that I noticed an unmoving figure in orange right outside the door. I approached it with caution.
“Alice!” I ran to her, hugging her like a dear cousin.
“Where in the world is Ecilia? And how on Earth did you stumble into our little quarrel? Zark, Alice, it’s been years. I know we said we would write, but it’s hard to make sure your letters are getting through in the midst of a war. And then I became commander of The Op, and… you go first. What’s happened to you and Ecilia since the reufgee camp made it to Strawberry?”
Jadestone looked deeply confused. PraCan did show some recognition during the part about Ecilia, but looked just as befuddled as JS the rest of the time.
“Alice, you’re in the hospital wing at the Op Fortress, and these people are Jadestone and PraCan, in case you don’t know them already. JS is the commander of the recently defeated Jadestone side, and Prarilius is commander of the recently seriously hit Vanilla side. I’ll explain what happened after the battle later, but first, I think we need to tell them our story. If you’re up to it… I’m injured myself, but you have a pretty nasty knot on the side of your head, as you’ve seen and can probably feel.”
“Gwen, most of my troups are still exausted from the recent battle (not including me), though after last night’s rest they’re looking much better. In a day or wo the will all be ready to get back into action and help us take on Gimanator.
It was about then that Alice woke up, and cried Gwen’s name. I jumped a little, but then pushed her back into a laying position. “Don’t sit up, it’ll make you nausous. That was a nasty hit you took there.”
*waits for PC to respond to taunt*
(In response to Gwen, since with a little imagination Jade’s and hers can work together.)
~~~~~~~~
“Well . . .” I began. “The war got pretty bad, so Mother and Father made Ecila and I leave. But we got lost, and I was captured by Chocolate briefly . . . A girl named violindino helped me escape. Then I sort of stumbled into a duel between Jadestone and Prarilius Canix, and you know the rest.”
I paused and looked catiously at Jadestone and Prarilius Canix. There didn’t seem to be any enmity between them at the moment, so I continued.
“I have no idea where Ecila is right now, unfortunately. But I think Prarilius Canix does.”
Grammatical note: that should be “…made Ecila and me leave.” Object of a verb, y’know.
379- I’m a better swordsman, though.
“l’ll be gone for a while. We need more troops. But first, I must show you this.”
I unroll a scroll.
“This scroll is an ancient pie-island rune. It summons th might spirit piero. (pronounced pyro) Piero can fly, and he throws flaming pies. I can read pie islander, but I must have a partner. Will you assist me, Gwen?”
it could be ‘Ecilia and I left‘. And you GAPAs didn’t respond to my question on the writing thread.
387-hmph! I’m more cunning, though.
389- Uh huh. suure.
Eronion marathas is on the OP, as long as we fix his shower, because I threatened to reveal his identity.
381- Thank you Alice!
391-he has plans to destroy you, though. Sorry, Eronion, but I said i would.
What? He double-crossed me? l’ll have to send piero after him.
Of course, we have to summon him first. Gwen?
the jadestones are not defected! we just do not have a fort!
Before helping Alice with her story, I turned to Ag.
“Promise me you’re not going to fly right into the fighting? We need time to recover, and going it solo last time is what almost got you killed. Man-Gator would love to have your hide. Stay high above the clouds.” I gave a resigned sigh.
“You can take Borealia. The key to the lab is in the kitchen, and if you rummage around a bit in there, you’ll find a cloaking device. I just- This doesn’t feel right. But we need all the help we can get at the moment. You can leave in the morning. Be careful, and avoid whatever skirmishes you come across. And be careful of Piero. As for me, I’m in no condition to fight. You’ll have to take someone who is more able-bodied.”
I turned back to Alice.
“You were saying? Oh, yes, yes.” I turned once more to the others.
“I met Alice in a traveling refugee camp of about three dozen. It was in Nectarine, and I was still running from the government of North Apple. I was an important designer of weapons for their war…
Sorry, bedtime. Bye, everyone.
hmmph. *sets up multiple fortresses each manned with 15 people, and all armed with a-aircraft pie guns. (they are thunder pies. Thunder against flying is…super defective!)*
that outa do it, let’s see them get me, now! I’d get more cloaking jammers, but with current supplies, we can only afford one…it’s not even that good, but hey, it’s something.
396- “My liege, l swear that I shall not fly to battle. My mission is soley for reinforcements.” I kneel. “Goodbye, Lady Gwendolyn.”
I ran to the kitchen, and grabbed the key, cloaking device, and a leg of chicken.
Upon entering the stables, I throw the leg to Boreila.
“Groshka neiska, grekk!* Hmm, first, to butterscotch…”
I’m going to wait to days to be fair.
*Let’s ride, old girl! Pie islander
or will the battle find you?duh duh duh…
399- Please.
Behold, mortals! I return again! And I don’t see my summary. It’s not a surprise, or anything, either. I told you a few days ago that I’d be expecting one. *waits**pies while he waits*
*can’t give a summary due to the unfortunate device called school* *rushes away to catch her bus*
oh…yes…hmmm
-choklit assaulted by vannila
-mayhem
-jadestone assulted by vanilla
-mayhem+fighting
-ag knocked out by man-gator
-alice knocked out by pie
-PC stolen by gwen
-every one runs away
-man-gator tries to trade ag’s life for jadestones death
-man-gator insane
-other sides team up against man-gator
-man-gator blows up vanilla/ag escapes
-man-gator sets up sporatic fortresses and gains troops
-other sides gather troops
-ag leaves to get troops
———–
bullet point presentation.
Summary-
• Jasper E turns into PC.
• Jadestone side captures him
• He escapes
• Vanilla attacks
• There is fighting
• Jadestone fortress destroyed
• Jadestone, Alice, Ag, Gwendylon, PC and Ag gather in the Op fort, Pc as a prisoner.
• I collapse in the middle of the battlefield.
• Ecila starts to find me
• Ag leaves to get troops
deciticeds to start fighting i,man-gator by spying on him.
404- You said ag twice.
ah! Thank you for the summaries I, man gator and Lady Cinnamon Moon of Orange! I must confess that before I only had a vague idea, if even that, about what was going on.
I have now made my own extraordinary cheese pie! It has special attacky like things that it does, even though I don’t know what they are. After all, all things cheesy are very mysterious.
How much longer on the pause in battle?
I hope it starts soon. For effect, l want to return in the middle of it.
arggggggggggggggggggh!!!! i was being Eronion Marathas, from the city of strawberry- mint chip, in the clouds , but agagabagabag and i, man gator were making him join there sides, then other stuff happened, an — correction, agagabagabag was forcing me… i give upppp!!!! i shall wait for another pie war and start from the beggining… this is confusing !!! !!!
arggggggggggggggggggh!!!!
forget Eronion Marathas, from the city of strawberry- mint chip, in the clouds ever existed… sorry about that…
405-A man that appears to be I, man-gator exits the small metallic fortress from the other side of the hill. He is heavily armed and wearing a large, bulky backpack. Two mechanical arms slowly push out the side pockets on the backpack. They appear muscular, but obviously mechanic. The man sighs, and pulls his face off. ‘Man-gator must be crazy to have so many decoys, but he need to be extremely protective, it sounds like…’.
411) Whoah! but how will we know if it’s you or not?
On the ruined battle field, Lady Cinnamon Moon of Orange wakes up. She looks around, and sees a girl dressed in purple walking towards her.
The figure sat up, and I saw that it was a young woman. She looked around, and spotted me.
“Hello,” I said tentatively, unsure of what her reaction would be. “My name is Ecila of the Blackberries. Who are you?”
Continuing with the story!
“And they wanted me back. Brutes sent out their pastry-trackers to catch me- ha, me, Gwendolyn the Inventor! I had helped design the software for those things. I don’t know what they were thinking. But they did deploy a small platoon of savage Pomgranessians- that is, mercenaries from Pomegranate. I was doing my best to run away from them, trying not to get killed, or worse, handed back to North Apple. That’s when I crossed into Nectarine. Little did I know, the Pomegranessians have many old superstitions about the vengeful ghosts of Nectarinese soldiers. Half were slaughtered in their sleep by Pomegranessians in one of the pie wars a few centuries back, and every time one steps within Nectarinese boundaries, he feels the pain of all those soldiers- physical and mental- tenfold. They either go insane or die from that incredible agony. So about four miles into Nectarine, I feel like I’m about to end it all right there. I hadn’t eaten in two days, and if that wasn’t enough, I had gotten a nasty laceration on my right leg from hiding in a thicket of wild rhubarb a week back. I won’t disgust you with how awful it looked, as I had gotten it four days back. So I’m literally crawling across the ground, when two people on Yeti-horses ride towards me. They look down at me, probably not sure if I’m a friend or a foe. I don’t know why they were sizing me up, because I felt like I was dying. I closed my eyes for a minute. Next thing I know, I’m in a hospital tent, my leg feeling considerably better. I feel pretty lightheaded from not eating still, and then someone shoves some vile broth with some sort of citrus into my mouth. And about three dozen people are miling around my bed, staring at me. It turns out I had been taken by two refugees patrolling the parameters of the camp. After loads of questioning and a week of people barely talking to me, Alice approaches me with her sister, Ecilia. They were curious about just who I was, and where I had come from. We became good friends, so good that I lived with their family in their tent. Those two were like the sisters I never had. But I was restless. I felt useless sitting there, helping out with normal camp things, when I could bee doing something in the war, to strike back at North Apple. I heard about a band of renegades called the Neutrals, and decided to join them. I bade farewell to my adopted family, promising to write and visit. And, well… you can find the rest of the story in any book about the Great Pie War.
“Now, Alice has a story that’s even more interesting than mine.”
Right. A story that’s even more interesting than yours. Give me a few minutes, please. I need to think of something.
((Note: I’m incorporating Ag’s explanations for the continent.))
“My family had been spies for Blackberry. Well, in a way, that is. Grape and Blackberry had all but joined forces a few years back, and Grape had total control over the Blackberrian government. They were enslaving the people of Blackberry for their own gain, and we received nothing in return. Finally my parents, my uncle, and a few other families joined to plan a revolution.
“It all went well for a while. The young men and women did the spying, the older people did the planning, and the people my age made supplies and taught each other self-defense.
“Then my cousin Freddy was captured while spying on a meeting between the Blackberrian and Grapite leaders. It came as no surprise. Freddy was too young to be spying, really, and he had a bad cold. He sneezed, and that was the end of that.
“After that incident, the revolutionaries decided the only thing to do was flee. So we went to Nectarine, where there was a refugee camp for other people whose plans had failed. There we met Gwen. Like she said, we were best friends. She was part of the family. But there was one major difference between me and Ecila, and Gwen. We two were happy in the refugee camp, and had no intention of going back to Blackberry, where we had been so ill-used. Gwen was restless. She left only a year after coming to Nectarine.
“My family was restless too, but in a different way. They wanted nothing so much as to return to Blackberry and overthrow the corrupted leaders. Ecila, me, and our friends were the only things keeping them anchored to Nectarine, and that could only hold them down for so long.
“After Gwen left,things started to fall apart. Everyone missed her, and the little group of young people determined to stay in Nectarine became bored. The youngest children, too, were eager to follow Gwen’s example and go to find adventure. They had not been exploited as we teenagers had, and they remembered only the excitement of revolution.
“Soon, Ecila and I could hold our family and friends down no longer. They broke away from the refugee camp, and marched back to Blackberry, determined to win back their ancestral home.
“Needless to say, it was unsuccessful. I don’t know exactly what happened to them, because after the war began, Ecila and I were sent away, along with everyone else under 21. We were supposed to go back to Nectarine, but we became lost and ended up here somehow. Or at least I did. Where is Ecila?”
The last question was directed with a great deal of force towards Prarilius Canix, and then I lay back against my pillows.
~~~~~
Ah, all you need to make a good story is some oppressed commoners who decide to revolt.
An explanation for later:
“As many of you know, l was raised on pie isle, where l came in a pie tin. The natives enslaved me, but l was rescued by a human expidition from Musica. l lived in Chaddica and seeked my family. I found a cousin who was half pie-giant named Wert Wret (my brother, future museblogger) who lived in Kokopellia, as well as many other humans. I spent my time repairing things, traveling, and fighting in pie wars.”
“I was drawn to these wars because Wert was vacationing in vanilla when the war started, and l’ve been trying to find him.”
Sought, not seeked.
need new therd over 400 posts.
412-why do you think I took such precautions?
418-you left out the part about us being comrades in battle! Jeez…Otherwise, we gotta cut a chunk outta da story.
Oh, yeah… sorry. I hope we can go back to that. (HINT HINT!)
In an orange accent, the Orange lady replied:
“I am Lady Cinnamon Moon of Orange. I am pleased indeed to meet
thouthee, Ecila.”423-how could we? I’m insane, and trying to kill you in this story.
“And you,” I said politely, extending my hand.
426- was that suppost to be ecila?
427- Yes, it was.
428- thanks.
After massaging his face a couple of times, the man put the mask back on, and turned around. “Say, is someone there?”. Suddenly the man realized that he was being spyed on from the hill, seing TMFA. “Red alert! Intruder! Attack Squad Assemble!”. About 10 to fifteen men shuffle out of the base and organized themselves within 5 seconds. They were all wearing raggedy uniforms with a handprint of pecan pie filling on their chests. They each raised a pie, and waited for the signal to fire. “Fire!”. A multitude of pies flew at TMFA, but he was agile enough to dodge them all. He…(I don’t want to power play. What do you do, TMFA?)
I click on my walkie talkie and yell “backup, I repet I need backup!”
sending all the small pie bullets i could I,man-gator is …
Can we please get into the action? I want to return in a dramitic fashion.
Can we please have a new therd. this takes for ever to load.
Righto. Wasn’t aware it was causing problems.