The Hare & Hedgepig: Vol. I, No. 3
Date: April 13, 2008
Categories: At the Top of the Blog, Nonrandom Craziness, The Musiverse
Saturday, 4 May 2024
Life, the universe, pies, hot-pink bunnies, world domination, and everything
Date: April 13, 2008
Categories: At the Top of the Blog, Nonrandom Craziness, The Musiverse
New thread!
I don’t understand what this thread is about. I tried to read the other one and got hopelessly confused.
(first post?)
Lovely to see this delectable epic card game continue.
First post?
Its essentially a little tea room for civilized conversation, delectable pastires (to be consumed, not tossed, mind you), and fierce gambling. Its a homy little thread which can be put to any generally not-uncivilized purpose.
What is the lightest, most delicate cake you’ve got? I’d like a slice of that with some Ceylon Broken Orange Pekoe Fannings tea.
For easy reference, I’m reprinting Paul Baker’s most recent comment:
Sorry to introduce a hiatus, but –
Golden Wung. End of Round 2 (unless some inconvenient person plays a reversal, but it will cost you. Hedgepigs are trumps, remember.)
So, to Round 3. 23 wung points on the table, three decks – Royal Purple, Vendaval, Furlined. Plus whatever you have in your current hands, or can derive from irregular stratagems. All suits apply to each pack (except for furlined hedgepigs, of course), and inversions are allowed to level 3.
I’m sure I don’t need to point it out, but new players in particular should watch the lateral convergence building up along the line of jacks. If it reaches one of the dominant cardinals, someone’s going to be heroned. And it won’t be me. I know this is boring, but –
Six of Hedgepigs.
And I’ll describe the cards currently in my Pasteboard Court, just to pass the timeand garner some wung points from the High Bailiff.
King of Eclairs is an African man wearing a tarnished bronze crown and a dark fur cloak. He holds a handful of eclairs in his right hand and a large battle axe in his left hand. The background is an artistic rendering of the Sahel in cerise and sepia. A liger lies at his feet.
Queen of Hedgepigs is a somewhat arch-looking and pale woman, very tall, dressed in a spiny cloak and a pale brown satin dress. She wears a Roman helmet, bears a short sword and a shawm, and stands on a grassy hill. A spear is driven into the ground next to her. From its shaft flaps a flag, Or, with two Gules hedgepigs rampant.
Jack of Peanut Butter is a small, dapper fellow with shifty eyes- a cross between the Artful Dodger (not the friendly, chubby-cheeked rogue of the Disney adaptation, but the mean-spirited convict of the original Dickens) and Sir Topham Hatt. He carries a cane with a golden peanut surmounting it. The background is a rainy London street.
Right, I’ll follow POSOC’s example and describe my war ravaged peanut brittle complex.
The meringue military is composed of four regiments; one for each of the suits. First are the rabid herons. As their nature (most sanguinary of creatures that they are) has already been expounded on in the previous H&H thread, I will resist redundance and say only: Ahhhhhhhh! Next come the most fearsome marauding muffins. They are rectangular cards which emit a delightful smell (somewhat akin to freshly baked bread). However, upon approaching their unfortunate foes their heat suddenly increases and scorches their enemies. THis having been accomplished, they envelop their foe in clouds of flour, blinding them and paving the way for the aforementioned rabid herons. The hedgepig card, too, I have already described at length. These gentle creatures are capable of being so fierce that it sends shivers through my spine to consider it *shudders*. It is said that they are fiercer yet than the hpb’s who haunt the dreams of every MBer. Last of all, the infamous eclairs. Their shape makes them ideal battering rams and they valiantly charge at their enemy, piercing and splattering them with creme. Last of all, the Field Marshal around whom an hpb force field made out of blank cards is erected. He is Aaron, the aardvark who wreaked so much havoc in humanity’s spelling habits. (See previous thread). Having described the function of each regiment, I will now set down the designs inlaid on their cards.
THe rabid heron and the hedgepig, you are already aqquainted with.
The maurauding muffin-A brown card with blackish discolored spots. The following poem is inscribed on it.
Its wouldn’t be bluffin’
If I were to tell you the muffin
Was sumffin
To be reckoned with.
The other side of the card portrays a short comic strip entitled “How to Bake a muffin the wrong way”. The storyboards portray a series of baking fiascos.
The Eclair-
A lightish brown card with a cream border. Otherwise the card is almost identical to the muffin, save that the poem reads:
It is only fair,
To give some share,
Of credit to the eclair,
For being the sharpest pastry in town,
Really merits a large gold crown.
Also, the baking fiascos detailed regard eclairs and not muffins. Finally the card smells of Lake Champlain mint chocolate.
(1) Most of the recent activity has been devoted to an energetic round of Iceland Hold ‘Em — more colloquially known as Paker — which could easily confuse anyone not familiar with this newly invented ancient game of cards.
Other conversation is certainly permissible during the tourney. For general rules of the house, please read our sign board on MuseBlog’s main page. As Ms. Hypatia noted, projectile pastries are expressly forbidden. Should you be carrying any on your person, they may be deposited at the Pie Check for safe-keeping during your visit.
It should also be noted that any comments devoid of meaningful content, for example, exclamations on the order of “OMG, first post !!!!!!!!!” will be dispatched into the Great Cyber Void without a moment’s hesitation or remorse.
Finally, should you notice any behavior that seems in danger of sliding into conduct unbecoming to this establishment, you may feel moved to remind the person in question to “sit up straight, dear, and stop fidgeting.”
I honestly do not fully understand how the cards are being played, though Mr. Baker’s system is probably wonderful (and I’ll probably like it once I understand it.)
Would someone please explain the way the cards are played?
A chocolate eclair with ginseng tea, please.
(9) “System” might be putting too fine a point on it, Ms. Fan. Here are the starting rules as explained by Mr. Baker:
Now then, perhaps we could play a game of cards without fixed rules. Let’s just play cards which we happen to have in our hands, and invent the rules and the scoring system by consensus. The best, or most ludicrous, argument as to why the card is legitimate or otherwise decides the rule, which need not apply to the next card played. Assuming the card is deemed legitimate, the score is determined by donation from other players. The prettiest card is likely to win, so scores will be determined by both the front and back of the card. I do hope this won’t get too heated.
Of course, the game keeps evolving….
Wow, this is really strange…this thread isn’t showing up on Recent Posts. I think it’s because the thread ID number is 1313…did this replace an old thread or something?
9- There are short versions and long versions of the rules. I’ll give you both.
Long Version: There are at least eight major suits: Herons, Hares, Hedgepigs, Roses, Eclairs, Peanut Butter, Chorley Cakes, and Muffins. These consist of the usual rankings: Ace, King, Queen, Jack (or Knave), 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2 (or Deuce). There are a multitude of combinations one can make from these, which create various effects on the game, and more are being invented all the time. In addition to the standard cards, there are several dozen rare cards, which either cannot be categorized into any suit (such as Anarchy, HPB, and Cheshire Cat) or are specialized variants of a suit (such as Wung of Jasmine or Mess of Eclairs), and have various specialized uses. These are also being invented throughout the game. A notable one is the Golden Wung, which can only be played by the High Bailiff (a position currently occupied by Paul Baker, a combination dealer and judge) and signifies the end of a round. When a round ends, all temporary rules in the previous round are made null unless otherwise specified.
There are a great variety of points, the major ones being Creativity Ceylon and Wung. Wung points can only be placed on the table by the High Bailiff. They can be brought into play when the Bailiff awards them to a player or when a player lays a claim to them. In the latter case, a claim can be challenged by another player or players. The claimants then battle it out for the wung points. Wung points, once in the hands of a player, can be exchanged willingly between players or captured from a previous owner in a duel.
Creativity Ceylon points can be arbitrarily created and awarded to other players once created, for acts of great honor or imagination.
All kinds of points can be placed at the four cardinal directions to create various offensive and defensive positions.
Short Version:Make it up as you go along.
Did that help?
The anomaly that you and others have detected, Ms. Feline, resulted from a spot of, ahem, timestamp juggling. This was necessary to allow the H&H to be a “sticky” without its vaulting above the other monthly threads. As far as Most Recent Posts is concerned, this thread was created in March. The page number itself is perfectly proper in sequence.
I play a treacherous vizier card to inflitrate POSOC’s palace and lay claim to the 23 wung points.
13 – All right, thank you for explaining.
I will place on the table my Script Frenzy Procrasination card. It allows me to freeze all of the other cards in their place for a few minutes so I can find Hypatia and challenge her for POSOC’s 23 wung points.
I simply must show you the latest addition to our collection of tea things. This turned up in an antique shop. The owner claimed it once belonged to an actual Muse — though when pressed she amended her statement to say it once belonged to an actual reader of Muse.
It nicely complements the Kokopelli flatware, though, don’t you think?
Why, its simply fantastic! Its wonderful!
*appears before Cat’s Meow*
So, you wish to challenge me…Well, I accept heartily. : )
16 – It’s gorgeous!
OK, what’s going on? I need to know. Has anything happened? Am I still in possession of my platypus points?
I’m sorry, I’m very near hysterical, and finding what has happened in my many hours of absence doesn’t help. I need a cup of tea. Any kind.
Oh, this card game looks quite interesting. I’ll sit here and just watch for a bit, if no one minds. Perhaps I can catch on to how it works later.
As for the new dishware, it’s simply lovely. I’ll have to have a cup of jasmine in one of them.
17 – Since I am the challenger and you are the challengee you may choose the sort of challenge we shall participate in.
19 – Why are you “near hysterical”? What happened?
21- Nothing happened. That’s the weird thing. I went on and on about it on the random thread.
I’m so behind. I’ll go read the other thread, but I think there might not even be any point in trying to catch up.
22 – Oh. Okay.
23 – Just sort of hop in again. That’s my recommendation.
(Volcalization of Feline = Cat’s Meow, by the way. I’m not sure if I’ve told you that yet.)
Congratulations on the new tableware, it’s lovely. I’ll have a cup of Earl Gray and a scone on it to celebrate.
Erm…how many points are on the table currently? I’m not sure which card to play.
I play an House of Cards (five cards of the same suit), then play a Treasure Ship, draw two cards, and play three Deuces (Herons, Muffins, and Roses). I’ve played my entire hand, which gains me a platypus point, making my grand total Four.
I draw four cards.
Much going on here! I shall take a simple approach with my cards, as to not make my already-full brain explode.
I draw a Knave of Dystopia, and thus I make a Castle Wall connecting to my previously established West Escarpments. I invoke the Predator Rule, having drawn a Lyrical Cat of Roses one play previously, and make all players with Walls touching my south-eastern defenses hand over their discarded Kings. I gain seven Ceylon.
I’m not keeping track of my score in my name because it doesn’t stay in the spirit of the game.
Right, I challenge you to an eclair duel, only cards from the pastry suites may be employed. I have to run, I am afraid, so you had best move first. I’ll be along in a bit…
I will play the Seven of Muffins, which allows me to take a Three of Muffins from the deck and a Deuce of Muffins from Alice. Combined, my three Muffin cards form Ye Old Bakery, which gives me an additional Muffin point every turn.
I play a Nine of Eclairs, an Eight of Muffins, and a Seven of Chorley Cakes, which gives me a Pastry Brigade to add to my Army of May Flowers, and with an Ace and a Deuce of Roses, I build a Wall of Thorns to protect my Pastry Brigade and Army of May Flowers.
I play the ace of herons, the king of roses, the queen of hares, and the knave of hedgepigs to form a muse acdemy. I then play the kokopelli joker, making all of the muffin cards pie cards.
Ayye!!!
All my points are gone!!!
POSOC, I am challenging you to a Readathon for all your points, (if Hypatia hasn’t stolen them!). I am also playing a Rabbit Hole in my Library to summon the White Rabbit, (Knave of Hares). I am placing it, and the Librarian with a Cleaver from a Horror Story in the Library, which cannot be stolen, as I am the Bookworm!
Rightio. I will play the overheating stove card, burning and rendering ineffective one in every 5 of the muffin points you harvest. I will then harness the remarkable and stupendous “Power of Yeast”. Under Article X, Section IV of the Rules (aka “Flamambablous Rising Pastries”), this allows me to, increase the volume of my eclair regiment (The Beige Buterred Batterers) by 9 square sugar cubes. This promotes my Meringue Military to Jasmine Tea and allows me to add two bunks to one of my brittle baracks. Having done this, I will activate my compass by sacrificing one card to the alternate universe. I place a muffin on each of the four cardinal points as sentries, thus aqquiring one perception pikelet and I launch an offensive with my Beige Buttered Batterers on your deuce of muffins, hoping to interrupt your flow of muffin points.
*gives up*
Sorry.
No, I’m coming Back.
I play the 2,3,4,and 5 of eclairs, making meringue and muffin point turn into eclair points.
Oh, well done, all! Welcome to the new players. You seem to have the hang of it.
Taiwan Hippo Fan still seems a trifle reticent though, so let’s give her some help. Firstly, THF, I donate to you 5 wung points and a slice of Victoria Sponge (You don’t play with the sponge – that’s for sustenance.)
You’re faced with the unenviable task of dropping in to the middle of Round 3, with a number of nominal restrictions already in place. You’re a long way from establishing a bastion, because according to my calculations, there are now only 13 unallocated wung points on the table – but you have five in hand. So, here are my suggestions :
1) Play safe. Start with four of muffins, in Royal Purple, first inversion. This will protect your opening diagonal and nullify the effects of Kiki’s Predator gambit – at least on you.
2) Go in really hard on the diagonals. Play King of Herons, King of Muffins, both furlined, and offer a double slide to Alice. If she accepts, it should benefit you both until you achieve a more dominant position. It might even stop her getting hysterical. I think she’s been on the Lapsang. It’s strong stuff.
3) Go for broke. Play a full Castlerigg Maneouvre. Ace, 3, 5 and 7 of Hedgepigs, aligned on the Jack of Roses and two of the minor cardinals. Call a double inversion, then put down something like the seven of herons to validate it. That will earn you 7 wung points, and it should block most immediate challenges. Just pray that no-one knows the standard riposte.
Actually, i’d like to consult Hypatia and POSOC, our two most active players to date. If you were crowbarring yourself into Round 3 as a newbie, which would you go for? Or do you have a more devious suggestion?
Meanwhile, I’ll have an Eccles Cake. I can never decide whether I prefer Eccles or Chorley. And a delicate jasmine, I think. I’m feeling contemplative. Very well, then, sleepy. Nighty-night. Play nice.
OK, what’s a bastion? And are there really still unclaimed wung points?
I play a full court of Herons, Ace, King, Queen, Jack, plus a ten for good measure, and protect it with a Peanut Butter Hedgepig and a Chorley Hare, then claim 3 wung points.
I would like an ally, if I may.
POSOC, I’ve challenged you!
I’m also playing The Jack and Queen of Eclairs, to make Eclairs trump in my Library.
Yes, a cup of oolong and a chorley cake, please. Oh, my, this is splendid. Oh, are we doing a bit of gambling here? Please explain.
37 – A bastion is a generic term for any defensive structure made up of two or more cards. They are usually much more complex, though. Carter’s Bastion, for instance, involves 27 cards drawn from 5 suits, with precisely defined backs, a double inversion, and a negotiated slide. It requires careful alignment with respect to cardinal-centroid nodes, or the nominal mean becomes unstable. However, if done properly, it’s pretty impreganble until the next Golden Wung. It takes three turns to create, and it is believed that it can only be achieved in round 5 or above.
Meanwhile, on a less esoteric note, check your alignments. The juxtapostion of your Chorley Hare (which implies local inversion) on the King-Queen Heron Radial gets you another wung point. Claim four, not three.
Hope this helps.
Why, what a delightfully confusing game! I think I shall watch for another while, and in the meantime may I have a cup of cranberry-apple tea?
Love the plates, by the way.
40- Ooh, thanks. So is my Wall of Thorns a bastion? It is a defensive structure built from two cards, so I guess it is…
42 – Indeed it is. A rather weak one, though. It’s highly vulnerable to eclair attack, and you can get bogged down if someone plays muffins with an attractive back. If you get in quickly, before someone negates it, you could strengthen your bastion with a few hedgepig cards. You then just need one more person to play something unrelated, and you can immediately follow with an inversion, allowing you to place something like Crumpet of Roses, which would lock the structure solid. Or, if you’re feeling more adventurous, declare a sliding inversion and use Eclair of Hedgepigs. That would be very difficult to counter in this round.
43- Thanks.
Ooo, cards! Is it too late for me to join?
Hypatia, it is clear to me that I don’t have enough muffin points to surpass your Power of Yeast. I would like to propose a Muffin Treaty, so we can combine our forces to amass the largest number of wung points possible. What say thou?
36-I’m honored by your asking my opinion.
THe first option seems to be the safest. However, the potential reward is very low. One stands to gain few wung points from that course of action. Unless of course you invoke the Discolored Pastry rule allowing you to construct a yeast vortex. This would give you better access to other player’s bastions, but would also give them a route to get to you. (Basically reason for my fall in the second round). THe disadvantage of yeast vortexes is that they tend to blind one with all that white power flying around.
The second option entirely depends on Alice’s response.
As for the third. Very high risk, very high reward. The standard riposte has very devastating consequences. If you choose to go for it, however, I’d put something a little stronger than a 7 of herons since there will no doubt be very serious disputes surrounding your right to call a double inversion in the same move as 3 prime hedgepig cards. Article IX, Section IX of the rules allows these disagreements to be resolved through an eclair duel, however, the only permitted participants are the validators. If you were to lose the duel, you would be open to a rotary invasion from the Northeast and lose your claim to whatever wung points you had won in the round.
Or, alternatively, you could change the rules to insure that none of these things happen….
Actually, speaking in close confidence there is one more option.
Pull 2 cards from your reserve stock and do a widdershins pass to the right. This will allow you to perforate your opponents hand. Then, if you were to split the deck and sprawl the top half, you could construct a temporary complex. If you validated its construction with a strong enough card, then layed diagonals around the edges, you would be in a sufficiently re-inforced position to try a rotary or a cranium invasion. Only to the Northeast of course, but that would still start you in the right direction. All this depends on your hand.
RIght. I am afraid I have to go do some HW (HHHHHW-Hypatia hates horribly hideous homework), so I can’t move quite yet, but eventually I will.
46-I am deeply complimented (as is my yeast) at your belief in our strength and I happily accept. Delightedly!
Ulp. *dies inconspicuously beneath the feet of Hypatia and VoF*
48 – All right. What now?
Apologies for getting behind.
So what’s happened so far? Apparently VOF and Hypatia have made an alliance to contest my wung-point claim, and Bookworm has challenged me to a Readathon. I seem to be beset on all sides. This will require a careful strategy…
Calder’s Inverse Gambit seems to be the best option. I’ll play an Ace of Chorley Cakes to the South, a Three of Eclairs to the West, and a Four of Eclairs to the East, making a Kwang’s Bastion around my other two reinforcing walls. I’ll end the gambit with a Ten of Muffins added to my Pasteboard Court in offensive alignment.
Now for Hoedemaeker’s Riposte. Invoking the Versimilitude Rule, I’ll bypass Hypatia’s southern sentry with my ten of muffins, allowing me access into her bastion. I will follow that up with a Wung Combination, inverting four of my points and creating a Suction Compass.
I gain a King of Hares from Alice due to my predator rule. I draw from my deck a Four of Eclairs and a Three of Muffins. Both being pastries, I gain five of the thirteen Wung points on the table and am able to finish my Escarpments and draw a Four of Herons.
I attempt a rotary (widdershins) with my statue towards Hypatia’s bastion. The Predator Rule is still in effect, and since I have a Deuce of Roses on the table forming my Castle Wall, I take that card and its pretty back and reconstruct my defenses in the shape of a pie, gaining four Ceylon.
As VOF and Hypatia have made an alliance, I will ally with you to forward our sides, POSOC. I am playing Alliance to POSOC. I am also playing the GAPAs in The Library, to obtain a good defense system if I am attacked. Just to review, I have the White Rabbit, (Knave of Hares), Jack of Eclairs, Queen of Eclairs, the GAPAs, and the Librarian with a Cleaver from a Horror Story are all in my Library, which cannot be destroyed or stolen, as I am the Bookworm! Eclairs are trump in the Library. I have offered Alliance to POSOC.
As per Paul’s suggestion, I add an Eclair of Hedgepigs to my bastion, and just to strengthen it, I throw in a Three of Roses.
I’m really, really, confused right now, so that will have to do for the time being.
My Suction Compass nulls Hypatia’s Columbus card, significantly weakening her bastion. Unfortunately, I don’t have the proper suit to embark upon a riposte or inversion, so I’ll retreat.
53- I accept the alliance. Let’s strategize.
Since we’re both strong on eclairs, I think our main strategy should involve them. I’ll do a temporary combination of my King with your Jack and Queen, creating a suited Pasteboard Court. We can also combine our Knaves. The Knave of Peanut Butter and of Hares are the most notoriously devious, so that makes a Disreputable Duo.
All in all, I think this is a very favorable alliance. A suited Pasteboard Court, especially a trump, is nearly indestructible, and can be used to reinforce nearly every hand we play. The Duo will be useful in theft inversions and various gambits, and of course the GAPAs offer a base for innumerable bastions.
Ulp. *is unallied in a world of allies* Help!
Yes, great plan! Let’s do it!
Oh, my, this is most wonderfully fun. Will someone please deal me in?
Is this truly a place for quiet conversation? It seems more a gambling house to me. Should there be a seperate thread for this card game? A cup of ceylon, if you will.
59- Oh, but we’re not gambling. We’re just playing. And there’s no reason we can’t converse at the same time.
60 – Quite.
Newcomers to this thread, please note : If cards don’t attract you, or you’re not a congenital fantasist, you are welcome to discuss Chekhov, First World War aircraft engines, flower arranging, or creative accountancy. You may studiously ignore the latest power play involving herons aligned on a major cardinal, sip a delightful cup of Assam, munch a scone, listen to the babbling brook just outside the window, and make barbed comments about the quality of the doilies. This is your absolute right as patrons. We do hope, however, that the explosive and bewildering development of this game will cause you just a little amusement. It is providing valuable employment for some very warped minds.
Yes, we scarcely dare ponder the consequences were those minds unleashed on the unsuspecting community at large.
The trouble with alliances, power bases and bastions is that they attract the attention of the High Bailiff.
*Cackles and rubs hands in glee*
Golden Wung. End of round 3. Scores, someone, please.
Round 4.
Backs are irrelevant in this round. Standard suits only, but you can play comestibles, so if Taiwan Hippo fan wants to jump in, she could make use of that slice of Victoria sponge. Comestible values determined by general consensus.
I have placed an Open Bastion, aligned on all the cardinals, and governing the significant radials. It’s based on hedgepigs and roses (2, 4, 6, 10 and Jack of each), with low number muffin interleaves, and guarded with Jack, Queen and King of Herons on a simple 3-point matrix, King North. I’m calling an inversion, and i’ve locked the structure with Double Eclair of Muffins – both the card and the cakes, placed centrally.
The Open Bastion is available as sanctuary for any player that requies it. Alas, it charges a Wung tax in proportion to the size and complexity of the player’s own bastion, and it doubles if the player is allied. Unallied players with a bastion of less than 6 cards may occupy it without charge. More than one of such Freemen may occupy simultaneously, at which point they constitute a Tax- Free Alliance, and may combine forces to repel attacks.
Herons are trumps. Inversions permitted up to Level 6. There are 63 Wung Points on the table, 22 of which are accessible only by occupying the Open Bastion, which may or may not be worthwhile.
That should cause a few headaches.
Play on!
63- This requires careful consideration. Let me consult with my allly for a moment.
Bookworm- Round 4 offers a new set of challenges to us. Since Herons, a suit on which we are regrettably shaky, are trumps, our strategic position is considerably weakened. Our suited Pasteboard Court is in good shape, but it’s nowhere near as strong as before.
In my opinion, we shouldn’t attempt to occupy the open bastion. It’s far too costly- the complexity of our own bastions and the fact that we’re allied makes for a skyrocketing Wung Tax.
I think our strategy in this round should be mainly defensive- let the other players fight it out for the wung points while we strengthen our bastions. We ought to put the Duo to good use- there are some interesting inversions of levels 5 and 6 that require a hand of moderate to high disreputability, and the Knave of Hares may allow us to “appropriate” a number of the wung points, so that this hand won’t be a total loss.
For the moment, I’ll play a Minor Gambit, Sixth. Ten of Chorley Cakes in uncommitted alignment allows me to invoke the Flapjack Rule, rotating my second Bastion 45 degrees.
Yes, you’re correct, POSOC. I believe we should keep defensive in the Library. I will play a seven of Herons and a nine of eclairs in Court in the Library.
Ah. Flower arranging. *yawns* So, what about it?
For the benefit of cardophobics :
In early 1916, the standard aero engine ordered by the Royal Ordnace Factory for use in Royal Flying Corps aircraft delivered 50 horsepower. At the end of 1918, it was 500 horsepower. That rate of technological development was unequalled in the twentieth century, except by the computer.
I just thought you should know.
54- Though I, too, am confused I ask Alice if she’d like to form an alliance.
67-
67- Really? That’s an interesting bit of trivia. What factors contributed to the speed of development?
Rightio! I have been gone a bit but if VoF is around, I am ready to jump in. I suggest we play a combustible combination” of some sort? Any input on what type, baked goods or foaming animals? I’m for the latter as the former would weaken us to a scorch attack from POSOC and Bookwarm? Then we can decide where to go from there. Rightio. *sips ceylon tea*
68- I accept with pleasure.
I’ve been reflecting a little bit and I think a more advisable course of action might be to play an inlaid looking glass card and invoke the reflections rule allowing us to relfect a copy of any bastion/complex. This way we establish a tangible connection between our fortifications. We could validify this transformation with hedgepig cards or alternatively, with a 7 of herons. I consider it imprudent to keep my compass, now deactived, inside the walls becuase by use of a deft chorpley slide, POSOC could inlfitrate our palace through it. I will move it to the exterior and re-activate it by use of a *ruminates* muffin maurauder. The loss of my Columbus card lessens its vision range, however it may still be useful as a sentry. Finally, I suggest we play a mad hatter card to keep the forces of sanity at bay. And POSOC, I advance my treacherous vizier one sugarlum.
I am taking control of the Mad Hatter due to the fact I have Lewis Carroll on my side! All Wonderland cards belong to me!
I am introducing a furious Scholastic editor who raves at you for violating his publishing and copyright rights. I inveigle him into legally revoking your right to all Wonderland cards (he’s got contacts) and allowing whomever gets the card to employ it. He agrees. The Mad Hatter card is back under my jurisdiction. To strengthen my forces keeping sanity at bay, I add Humpty Dumpty’s ludicrous definitions card (Looking glass rocks!).
Finally, I top off my defenses by invoking the Looking Glass Music rule, allowing me to upon the mention of a song from said story (Ways and Means, A sitting on a gate, Rock a bye lady in Alice’s lap, and yes, I listen to these in my spare time) to add a hpb sighting card and a Edward Lear Nonsense Poem card into the regiment of the Meringue Military employed in anti-sanity defense (membership: Mad Hatter, Humpty Dumpty Ludicrous Definitions, HPB sighting, Edward Lear Nonsense Poem). THe addition of a new regiment promotes my military to…DARJEELING!
Nine of Herons, also known as the Unmasker. Your Treacherous Vizier is Disgraced. Null widdershins and peanut butter.
I am seriously considering dispatching an assasin at your Nine of herons! *growls* : )
I object to the null widdershins statement, however. Under the rule of Overly Kitchy Gilded Ornaments, a null widdershins can only be declared when the unmasking has been performed by a purple hedgepig. This rule is specifically to avoid the creation of a complexity kilt which might disrupt the chortley circlet.
74- If Alice agrees, we mount a mission to take Alice from you due to the fact I’ve played Alice in a play and Alice shares the anem.
77- My mistake, I’d forgotten about that aspect of the OKGO Rule.
78- I agree!
I must away, I can no longer tarry. ¡Adios!
77, 79 – Just a word of advice. The root of your problems isn’t the OKGO rule, or the dominant nine of herons. It’s the looking glass, which is creating a reflected bastion. The Open Bastion is inverted, so all relationships between that and Hypatia’s bastion are inverted AND reflected. It’s perfectly legal, but it’s difficult to keep track of. Provided no-one calls a widdershins slide, you might just manage to sort it out. Try to lock the dominant cardinals, and think roses.
70 – It was the war. Both sides desperately needed more effective ways of killing each other, and a lot of it came down to speed. So they gradually learned how to vastly increase the power to weight ratio, largely by increasing compression in the cylinders. Then they had to invent methods to avoid the wings ripping off, but that was comparatively simple.
It is the High Bailiff’s duty to widen the scope of the game wherever possible. I therefore donate five wung points each to the following newcomers:
Piggy, Oxlin, Kokonilly, and Ã߀ƒ.
Creativity Ceylons you will have to earn with a legitimate claim. They are not within my gift. I have, however, placed you all within the Open Bastion, so you are relatively safe from immediate attack. If you choose to form an alliance (tax-free, remember, because you have yet to establish personal bastions), you could avoid cards altogether for a couple of moves, and play nothing but comestibles. Muffins are always good to start with.
The only muffins off-limits are the ones I’ve just buttered to go with my English Breakfast, served in that delightful new china.
And I’m going to have a slice of Battenberg as well, just because I’m High Bailiff, and I can.
Huzzah! I have points! I now lay my 7 of Herons, 2 and 4 of Hedgepigs, and 5 of Roses, thereby creating a reverse reflected bastion, temporarily cancelling out the effects of the looking glass and securing 12 more Wung points.
82- I have formed an alliance, a few posts ago, with Alice.
Oh, well done, Piggy!
That’s very devious, and done without an alliance, too. Careful how you expand it, though. Two more cards and you’ll be paying tax.
82 – Oh, yes. I forgot. But as yet, it’s only a Nominal Alliance, because you haven’t played a card. So your five Entry Wungs still stand. You now need to decide – dissolve the alliance and remain within the Open Bastion, or join Alice behind her Wall of Thorns. Or you could bring Alice inside. She won’t pay Wung Tax yet, because her bastion still only contains 4 cards, plus the other two hedgepigs that she hasn’t told me about. They must be in there, or the Eclair of Hedgepigs wouldn’t invert properly.
The only problem is that she would have to play cards both outside the Open Bastion, and inside as part of your alliance. And she does panic so.
86 – Sorry, I meant 84.
hmm…the hare and the hedgepig appears to be going strong…
Hm… I don’t really know the rules of this game. What happens if I play an Ace of Eclairs and a King of Chorley Cakes? Do I lose?
Piggy is devious, POSOC. Shall we attempt to get at her wung points?
89 – For an explanation of the rules, I refer you to posts 10 and 12; especially the latter. POSOC came up with as succinct an exposition of the principles of Paker as I could wish for.
Ace of Eclairs and King of Chorley Cakes – no, you don’t lose. It’s actually very difficult to lose a game of Paker in the conventional sense, except by being really unadventurous and boring. Your opening shows spirit.
In fact, it’s not bad at all, especially from inside the Open Bastion. Youve secured the South Cardinal. On your next move, consider adding a real Chorley Cake (comestibles are allowed in Round 4). Wait for a response from the other players, then you can reply with something much more fanciful like a Mad Max.
90- A distinct possibility- her bastion is weak to Hares, so our Duo could take advantage of the mirror-quality and reflect themselves in. We’ll need a good strong hand to give them the necessary boost, though, otherwise they won’t come through the inversion without a heavy Ceylon tax. A real eclair in the Library and a mid-level Peanut Butter card ought to do the job.
90-I’m a boy.
91-Thanks for the warning. I strongly oppose taxation without representation, so I will be careful. I suppose I’ll just play a Welsh Cake above my 4 of Hedgepigs and wait this one out.
93- Oops- sorry, that’s happened to me too.
95 – I was mistaken for a guy. Thrice. I’m a girl.
Egad! I immediately put down a Knave of Eclairs and claim 4 more Wung points. Even though I already cancelled out the effects of the Looking Glass, I do not want to risk an attack from the rear. A cup of China Green, please.
97 – That’s the spirit! Eclairs are always the first choice for a head-on attack, and your Welsh Cake provides a pretty good rearguard.
Note to all Paker participants – The High Bailiff is performing at a very salubrious venue in London tomorrow, so it’s most unlikely that Golden Wung will be played for about the next 24 hours. You may safely plan your strategies around that assumption.
Nighty-night.
Hmm- this changes a lot, because I doubt we could reflect the Duo in without being bogged down by the Welsh cake.
I think we ought to channel our suited Pasteboard Court into an offensive now. And we should focus on hedgepigs when creating new hands- they’ll be trumps for the next day or so.
Cat’s Meow (VoF), are you there? I laid down some suggestions in posts 75 and 73. However, we could also invoke the “Soppy Sentimality Slops Rule.” What do you think? The Alice-Oxlin alliance sounds omnious, as does the POSOC-Bookworm one. They might pose a threat to our rear guard with an infusion offensive. Pshaw, I’m so befuddled. *is confuzzled* I’m really no use at this game. Ah well. : )
I am ordering an eclair and placing it in the Pasteboard Court.
Bringing out the court of eclairs, 9 through King plus a real eclair and leaving the rest of my troops in the library, we proceed in a march! I am also playing 6 of Hedgepigs! Ready for you, POSOC!
91- I’ve secured the South Cardinal, eh? Well, that’s good. I suppose I’ll order a Chorley Cake. *does so* Okay, so here’s my Chorley Cake. Let’s see what happens now…
Ahhhhhhhhhhh. I love mornings. Could I have a muffin and orange juice please? I love orange juice, it gives me a happy feeling.
so is the card game still continuing? I would love to join, but I am afraid it has already started…
*sips peepermint tea*
My, its fine to be back here. *ruminates* I think this next move will require some finesse if I’m to avoid being sluaghtered by my worthy opponents. *ruminates some more* Rightio, I’ll be back in a bit with a more detailed account of what I intend to do to hold all of you at bay and claim those much-needed wung points as my own. *laughs manically*
“Calling all Spectors and Lasleys! Come to the Muse Academy RPG! We need your help!
I lay down a Night Heron, a four of Hedgepigs, and a 6 of Eclairs, thus forming a mini-bastion. My store of Russian Caravan tea entices two wung points to enter my mini-bastion, where they are promptly snarfled.
Next I use China Gunpowder to threaten all attacking forces. This, coupled with a six of roses, induces a paradigm shift and raises my bastion to a full-sized one.
Beware. My China Gunpowder is trained on the wung points.
103- Ooo! The Chorley Cake gave me a wung point! *happy*
108- I counter with my Queen of Hedgepigs.
Wow! I’ve obtained an HPB card! Cool! *lays down card* *HPB goes flying at Nthanda’s bastion*
But my Victorian sponge cake walls deflect it! The HPB bounces off like a rubber band! There is mass hysteria! Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling! Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanos! The dead rising from the grave! Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together…mass hysteria!
Then I hand out camomile tea to everyone and things calm down. But my bastion still remains, a testimony to turn-of-the-century pastries.
112- Aw…
*still watching* Chamomile? *sips* *passes out*
Aha! My Welsh Cake combined with the Reverse Reflection Paradox of the Looking Glass (RRPLG) cancels out Nthanda’s Victorian Sponge Cake and snatches the two Wung points she just captured.
115- I quickly snatch the two wung points with my Ace of Eclairs.
And I will defer Golden Wung for another day, I think. Tehre are some interesting bastions building up, and I’d like to see how they develop.
However, I have just rotated the Open Bastion 90 degrees clockwise. Ã߀ƒ, you now control the West Cardinal. Your southern approach looks rather exposed, despite the chorley cake. Watch your wungs.
Good luck to all!
Wait, am I still in the Open Bastion? If I am, get me an Acorn and Periwinkle Tea. If not, I lay down a Six, Eight, and 10 of Hedgepigs, completing a double bastion and claiming 9 Wung points.
Ahh…I see, and thus begin to play….
setting up a position by taking lots and lots of spam….
Thank ee.
PLaying the 6 of hedgepigs, the 3 of fur, the 4 oh hares and a 5 of eclairs, I give myself a fools straight to counter piggy’s position. Although, this means the wung points bounce off to damage a random position… defenses! *Orders three eclairs to place in the eclair sideboard.. *rolls dice* c’mon doubles…. two two’s! yeeha! I remain protected…
For our Alliance I lay down a Jack a seven and a three of Roses creating a Clarke triangle and expanding our bastion.
I lay down a seven of muffins and a two of hares. *gets muffin* I now have a muffin protecting the southern end of my bastion.
I play down a three of Hares, a seven of Muffins, and the Jack of Muffins, thereby creating the 21st Division Bastion of Bunny Cooks. I pray that I will survive my initiation to the game and draw a card.
Woah. Intense.
Nothing for me today, please. Just had lunch.
Wow. I’m really not into this game stuff. Well, anyway, could I have an ice cold water with a big juicy lemon on top. *wigh* wow, that sounds good.
And a pot of spiced chai for me, I think. And a pikelet. No, two pikelets.
Now then, this game of Paker is taking off nicely. It’s lovely to see the new players making such stirring entries.
Golden Wung. End of Round 4.
Fifth and final round, at least for this game.
I am dissolving the Open Bastion. This will be an Open Round. All suits, comestibles, irregulars and special gambits are playable. You can also score on backs, so make them impressive, mesdames et messieurs.
The only restriction I am introducing is a Concretion of Roses in the centre, Ace to 7, stacked vertically, surmounted by a Legerman’s Croak (3, 4, 5 of herons, 3, 4, 5 of hedgepigs and a Chorley Cake in a cartwheel pattern). This will pinch out simple lateral and longitudinal plays on the cardinals. You’ll need to be inventive. Other than that, anything goes.
Play on!
125 – In your honour, I have ordered the Head Wung to squeeze you a glass of kiwi juice.
I lay down a full set of muffins, letting me go over to the sofas and talk.
OK, round five. We’ve got to play aggressively during this hand.
To start, I will exercise my Queen of Hedgepigs in conjunction with Kwang’s Bastion. Under the Nippon Rule, if no trump suit has been set, a face card of the previous round’s trump in conjunction with a bastion makes the prevalent suit in the bastion trumps. Thus, eclairs are trumps.
A Confluency Maneuver melds Kwang’s Bastion with Legerman’s Croak, allowing me access to the Concretion. I can do this because my Queen is still in conjunction. Unfortunately, this poses the irritating problem of that unfinished set of herons which is left over. If someone lays down a six or deuce of the same suit, they’ll have a set within the half-hour. Ah, well, I can’t do anything about it at present.
Let’s see here… I’ll lay down 9s, 10s, and Queens of both Roses and Peanut Butter, as well as 2 Battenburg Cakes, forming a double closed bastion and instituting the Double or Nothing Rule. I’ll claim my 12 Wung points and turn in for the night.
As I have no points to protect, let’s go for it!
Joining POSOC’s troops are the Pasteboard Court (9-King+Real Eclairs, which are trump!), the Disreputable Duo, (Two Knaves), The Librarian with a Cleaver from a Horror Story, and The GAPAs. I am also playing 6, 7, and 8 of Hedgepigs to form a Bookmobile Set which moves my Library Forward!
I will put the Duo to use. With the backing of the suited trump Pasteboard Court, they have sufficient torque to bring the Concretion into our sphere of influence. This move has heavy penalties (10 wung points to the middle), and results in the dissolution of my Kwang’s Bastion, but I think it’ll be worth it. Concretions are immensely powerful, if not very flexible.
And to finish up the turn, I’ll lay down a Six of Herons. It shows what are either three dark green herons on a purple background, or three purple herons on a dark green background, all six in flight. Around the edge is engraved a set of endlessly repeating, intertwined Rs and Cs, all in orange-red script. The back is a beautifully delicate replica of the House of Escher, done in gold leaf on a white background, with bunnies going up and down the stairs. This gives me a set of Herons with the remnant of the Legerman’s Croak.
I put down the Queen of Herons and the card of the fallen star which enables me to draw five more cards and one muffin.
I lay down a six of popovers and an Ace of Chorley Cakes, which, combined with a King of Aerogel, makes my bastion invisible. But it is violet with lovely interior decorating if anyone cares to know.
At the same time, I begin building a catapult with a seven of Egg & Cress. It launches pudding (NOT chocolate, I mean real Irish pudding) and also serves iced buns. But only if you ask nicely.
I gain three wung points for no reason whatsoever.
Rightio. Good to be back with the game.
I play a quintessential quartet, and regain control over the left half of my cranium bastion which has been crumbling due to my neglect of the game. I then play an extremist card, which despotically dominates the 7 squares in its closest vicinity. I play a kird dat maks pist 132 misspilled and Escher bekims Usher. To reduce its power, I invoke the Poetretical rule and quote,
While I gazed, this fissure rapidly widened—there came a fierce breath of the whirlwind—the entire orb of the satellite burst at once upon my sight—my brain reeled as I saw the mighty walls rushing asunder—there was a long tumultuous shouting sound like the voice of a thousand waters—and the deep and dank tarn at my feet closed sullenly and silently over the fragments of the “House of Usher.â€
THus, destroying the House of Usher Card.
I play three butter cards, adding them to my buttery batiment and add a McMurphy (see One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest) to my army keeping the forces of sanity at bay.
Finally, I split the deck, wipe the top, sprawl the bottom, and brittle the center card.
Uh-oh- you just removed the base from the set, Hypatia. You’ve created a Heron Vacuum!
136- Um, a Heron Vacuum? What will happen to Herons?
I play a Knave/Jack of Roses, a 9 of hedgehogs and a 4 of Chorley Cakes, expanding my bastion and giving me 3 wung points.
*now has 11 wung points, if memory serves*
I play the ace of eclairs.
137- Any Herons in play will immediately be removed from their hands and sucked into the Vacuum for the duration of this round.
Good grief, you people do like to play a dangerous game! I’m impressed.
As High Bailiff, I hastily play Forqueray’s Gambit, centred on the nine of hares. I’m sure you’re all familiar with the implications. The important thing is that it imposes a rotation on the Heron Vacuum, converting it to a Heron Vortex. Any heron cards sucked into it will reappear at a random point on the table. It’s capricious, but stable. Just to set something wild in motion, I’ve tossed 34 wung points into the vortex.
Man for Aeiou, your Ace of Eclairs has been sucked into the vortex (eclairs are now trumps, and therefore nominal herons with respect to the vortex). It has reappeared in Nthanda’s invisible bastion, together with three wung points. It’s unclear which of you now owns the Ace and the points. You may even have a claim on the bastion itself. I will receive arguments, and adjudicate tomorrow. Now I’m going to bed, with a pot of Earl Grey.
Nighty-night!
Uh-oh. I’m going to have to keep my eclairs within my Bastions, otherwise the vortex will engulf them. Further play must be centered on Duo and Concretion.
I think I’ll play the Physics card, entangling the Duo. Any movement of the Knave of Hares will be copied by the Knave of Peanut Butter, no matter their respective positions. I’ll leave Hares in Bookworm’s Library (it being the most secure place, now that Kwang’s Bastion is gone) and toss the Knave of Peanut Butter into the Vortex. (A non-heron or eclair card can undergo engulfment if it’s voluntary.) Hopefully this will allow me to seize a few wung points, and if the Knave reappears in someone else’s bastion, I can wreak havoc.
Cake.
I play the king of Roses.
I send my 4 of chorley cakes to grab 3 wung points that have reappeared near my bastion.
127) OMG! Thankyou!
With the Eclairs in the Library, I move the GAPAs to IBCF’s Battalion and attack! I am attempting to steal s/he’s wung points!
As IBCF hasn’t responded, I promptly use the power of the GAPAs to cripple his/her bastion by destroying 1/2 his/her cards, and steal 11 wung points. I now have 16 wung points!
146- Ouch!
I’m a he, Bookworm.
I play a Queen of Herons, a 7 of chorley cakes, and a 9 of muffins. The Heron is sucked into the vortex, while the other cards start to rebuild my bastion.
Sorry IBCF!
I’m a he too.
My Knave of Peanut Butter seizes eleven wung points, which reappear beside the Knave of Hares, then appears within Piggy’s bastion.
My Heron reappears near POSOC’s bastion. I quickly send it back to my bastion, and snatch seven stray wung points along the way.
OK, this is the last round. I’m through messin’ about- it’s time to get serious.
A double widdershins circuit of the White Rabbit inverts the Knave of Peanut Butter, sucking half of Piggy’s wung points into my inner Bastion. A clockwise flip breaks the connection and imposes a rotation on the resulting Vacuum, leaving me with 36 wung points and Piggy with a Peanut Butter Vortex inside his bastion.
Hm, looks like I completely forgot about my HPB card when it bounced off of Nthanda’s sponge cake. I send it to POSOC’s bastion, where it charges through like a tornado and steals five wung points.
I quickly snatch the nearby 11 Wung points after half of my points had been taken. The only safe thing for me to do is to sacrifice my Queen of Peanut Butter, claim 4 more Wung points, and hope my sacrifice will please the veritable hurricane that is wrecking the playing field. I will also windproof my bastion with 4 Welsh cakes, placed on the secondary positions, as well as a 6 of Chorley Cakes placed in the middle. I batten down my hatches and wait out the storm.
153- I contest that move, because I don’t think a single, un-reinforced HPB card can penetrate a Broken Orange Bastion with the backing of a Rose Concretion, even one on a random ricochet. High Bailiff, what’s your adjucation?
I’m playing a Ten and Eight of Eclairs, and sacrificing my Queen of Hedgepigs outside the Bastion in order to dissolve the Concretion. This is an incredibly risky move- if a Hedgepig Vacuum collides with the Heron Vortex, the dimensional convergence alone could be catastrophic, to say nothing of the marmalade aftershock. However, with the Concretion dissolved, Bookworm and I have King, Queen, Jack, Ten, Eight and Nine of Eclairs, as well as Seven through Ace of Roses, giving us a full demitrump Pasteboard Court.
Now I’m going on the attack. The Court enters the Library and advances on Hypatia’s bastion, using the Bookmobile Hedgepig Set to give it extra mobility. Finally, I’m playing a crumpet compass to increase agility, and a couple slices of bara brith to ward off flanking attacks and boost my firepower.
Lady Bunniful, how exactly did you create the graphic? The lines seem a little too organic to be computer-generated. Did you sketch the room first, then scan it in and add the colors with Photoshop?
How lovely to stop in again. Does the Hare and the Hedgepig perchance have anything Kosher for Passover?
(157) POSOC, the short answer is that everything was created digitally but almost entirely “by hand.”
Here’s a longer answer:
I started with a photo taken on a reconnaissance mission to a tea room I discovered in a nearby town. (That was an adventure in itself, by the way.) Using a “photocopy” filter, I reduced the photo to a line drawing. I thought that would be a shortcut, but it would have been faster to draw it myself, as the result required extensive cleaning and redrawing.
Using the photo as a reference, I “hand-painted” all the upholstered furnishings, china, and lamps, then created a fractal texture for the paneling and other wood items.
The pillows are all different. I just played around with various filters to make the covers look like fabrics, and used a displacement map to warp the images more realistically. Same for the carpet and tapestry, except they didn’t require the displacement map.
As finishing touches, I added Muses to lamp bases (and one lamp shade) and the menu to the menu. Fiddled quite a bit with lighting effects, too.
The final file was 58 MB (trimmed from 92) consisting of nearly 70 separate layers.
159 – Wow.
I play the sextet of Roses being the Queen, King, Jack, Ace, Nine and Ten of Roses in order to place a corner of my bastion around a bit of the vortex and separate it off from the rest of the vortex and my Bastion temporarily. I gain five cards out of the vortex and bring my Bastion back together.
155, 153 – Mmm. Sorry, Ã߀ƒ, but POSOC’s right. You’ll have to back up HPB with something like 4, 5, and 6 of hares to create a diversion. Even then, you’ll have to maneouvre round the concretion. You’d need almost a full suit of eclairs to think about attacking that.
156 – And there’s the dissolution of the concretion, using an attack based on a heavy eclair configuration.
Ã߀ƒ, please ignore 161 and note the Hedgepig Vacuum, which is floating. If you can lock it to your advantage, or turn it into a stable vortex, you have a way into POSOC’s bastion while he’s attacking Hypatia’s. The rose concretion is now dissolved, but watch out for his bara brith rearguard. That really was a stroke of genius.
159 – And all I do for this tearoom is serve up the odd pot of Jasmine and invent a cardgame. I am humbled. I’ve never got above 6 or 7 layers. You’re a wonder.
(164) Why, thank you, Mr. Baker, for your kind words. Though I think the proper term is “deranged beyond repair.” Graphics software should really come with a warning label.
Wow, 4 posts in a row from GAPAs! And 3 of them are from the same one!
*watches intently*
High Bailiff how many Wung points and/or Creativity Ceylons does my alliance have?
Does the vacuum immediately draw in any hedgepigs, or do the hedgepigs have to be close to it? Can we draw a vacuum like a magnet? If so, then I play a knave of hedgepigs and an 8 and 9 of hares. I move the vacuum towards the heron vortex, escorting the hedgepig with my hares and the king of chorley cakes (which happened to survive Bookworm’s assault).
OH my. I seem to have missed out on the majority of the game. I shall have to join the next one. Shall there be five rounds in that also? I take my five of eclairs, and play it out into the pasteboard, although I play my other card onto it, while ordering a chocolate muffin. Since I haven’t made it very far, it’s risky but in the end, I might avoid the vortex, must be lucky…
163- Thank you- bara brith is my speciality* when working offensive Courts. I find it dense enough to clog most inimical inversions, but more versatile than other comestibles one might use for the same purpose.
*Britannic spelling for the benefit of Paul, and to add a bit of local colour
With the backup of my bara brith and Pasteboard Court, my Ace of Roses strikes between Hypatia’s South and West cardinals, penetrating her buttery battlement. I then play my Knave of Hares to full capacity, backed by a seventh-level crumpet, thus causing her meringue military to contra-rotate. I take advantage of the confusion to seize her perception pikelet, and advance my bara brith within her bastion.
um…cardgame? What cardgame is this?
Since nobody has objected, I bring my forces in front of Hypatia’s bastion. My hares and queen of chorley cakes distract POSOC’s attacking forces, while the hedgepig continues its inexorable course towards the heron vortex, with the vacuum tailing behind it.
I’ve come over all peckish. Darjeeling tea and an iced bun, if you please.
167 – 12 wung points, 2 creativity ceylons. No, 3 creativity ceylons. I’ve just noticed you’ve sneakily re-established a concretion, dominating an edge of the vortex through that Clark triangle. Clever.
There is now a huge amount of activity building up around Hypatia’s bastion. Ã߀ƒ, you can certainly attract a vacuum with the correct configuration of its own suit. Do be careful how close it gets to the vortex, though. To my knowledge, no-one’s ever risked superimposing a vacuum and a vortex. I suspect it would generate a paradox.
It all looks wonderfully unstable, and we may be approaching an endgame. I shall ponder it in odd moments today, between recording guitars.
A paradox?
A paradox!
A most ingenious paradox!
I ram IBCF’s troops with the mobile library, and continue to destroy Hypatia’s troops with our full demitrump Pasteboard Court, enhanced by a 7 and 6 of eclairs played by me. I seize 5 wung points and leave the stage set for POSOC!
My troops are all killed, but the vacuum continues it’s course to the vortex. By now, the two have attracted each other, and it is too late to stop it.
177- This could get messy. *takes cover under table*
170- Wait – How do you spell it in America? *Takes careful notes*
(Sorry for double post)
175- Which guitars are you recording? Do they make Elizabethan guitars? *Ponders* What will these recordings be used for?
Goodness, I’m nosy. Mention a simple word, and I’ve already pulled out the clipboard.
crushes the Bookworms troops.
I detect a hint of sanity in Bookworm’s orders, allowing me to activate my gradually-increasing forces to fight of sanity against you. In this means, I deploy this regiment of my Meringue military.
And I promise to play more later.
*vacuum comes into contact with vortex*
OK, what’s going on? I’ve read Oxlin’s posts, but I don’t have a very clear idea of what’s happening.
178 – You’re right, Ã߀ƒ. Take cover, everyone!
The Vacuum appears to be merging with the vortex, and…
Contact! We have superposition.
Oh.
Oh dear.
Oh dear me.
I thought it would go something like this.
The cardinals are now coincident. The dimensions of the playing area have shrunk to zero. Everyone’s cards and comestibles, all the wung points, bastions, even the concretion, have been sucked into the singularity. They are now reappearing all over the table, and getting sucked in again. It’s all gone recursive. There’s not much I can do, other than ..
Golden Wung.
No, that’s been sucked in too. It seems to be re-emerging about every 5 seconds, which I suppose constitutes a new round. Theoretically, we’re now on Round 38, if I’ve counted correctly, but they’re all null rounds, because no-one’s played anything. They can’t, really.
Right, before this thing starts generating whales and petunias, I’m dragging the card table into a little store cupboard at the back of the Hare and Hedgepig, and locking the door.
I’m sorry about the wung points. You could try grabbing a few as they materialise, but that paradox is likely to have your hand off if you try it. It’s vicious. Anyone with creativity ceylons should be able to keep them, because they’re purely conceptual entities, and therefore have zero mass. Platypus points? I have absolutely no idea.
The next game will not begin immediately. I think I’ll leave it for a few days. I need aspirin. Let’s all drink tea for a bit, engage in polite conversation, and DON’T MENTION THE THING IN THE CUPBOARD.
Thing in the cupboard? I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about. *sips tea delicately* *nibbles cake*
I think that’s a delightful idea. I certaintly would love a brief break from the tumult that this game has aroused, not that I haven’t enjoyed it but…suffice to say, a little break would make me enjoy it even more. Towards the end, I felt my strength wavering. Now, I will be able to recuperate. So, to pass the days until the madness commences again, a cup of ceylon tea and a pikelet. And of course a little civilized conversation would not be out of place. Let’s see. Might I suggest as a topic *mind falters* I think I’ll leave the suggesting to someone else and “go with the flow”.
Woah. That was terrible. Terribly frightening. I don’t know how we’ll ever play again. Wait, if physics has played the Golden Wung multiple times, does that make Nature the Grand Bailiff? If so, there’s no telling when the next game will start. But if Nature has become an intelligent being, than does God still hold sovreignty over all existence? Does God even exist?
Well, we need a discussion of some sort to keep our minds off our troubles. Ideas, anyone?
I’ve thought of some topics:
Shakespeare, ancient literature, history, Sherlock Holmes, or anything else anyone wants to talk about.
*also sips tea and nibbles biscuit*
(okay…i’m not greatly renowned as a sipper…but does it anyway.)
You could discuss your favorite jam. Mine’s apricot.
I hate to confess this in front of Paul, but I’ve never been fond of marmalade. For some reason it just doesn’t suit me — and I’ve tried the best.
I think we’ll have to find a new deck. I’m off to the Oasis Mirage to buy one. In the meantime, perhaps you can conduct some research on the thing we’re not supposed to mention- drop a pumpkin on it, maybe. Oh, and could you brew up some chamomile tea for me when I get back? It takes a lot to rattle me, but I think Nelson himself could be rattled off his column by a card game that interfered with the nature of causality. Good day, chaps.
i’m with you Robert!!
In which respect? Pro-apricotism, or anti-marmaladism?
In any case, I’m glad that the card game didn’t wreck the Hare & Hedgepig. That would have been a shame.
<180> My dear, I make Elizabethan guitars.
Alas, the ones I’m recording are not those delicate beasts, but the modern overgrown monsters, with no rose, metal-overwound strings and altogether too much tension. However, the players are sufficiently skilled to ameliorate their more objectionable deficiencies, and the sound is actually quite pleasant. If you would care to remind me, oh, some time next week, I shall point you in the direction of a few of the results of our endeavours, uploaded for your edification and pleasure.
Meanwhile, to bed. With a large pot of jasmine and a large plate of toast and marmalade. I’ll have Robert’s, and he can have my apricot jam.
Nighty-night!
Put me down as very much pro-apricot; I’m not really much of a jam person otherwise. Except with scones and clotted cream, of course.
It took me some effort over a number of years to warm up to marmalade, but I loved the idea of it for some reason and eventually developed a taste for it. Most of them are way too sweet, so I always look for the fruit to be the first ingredient.
Has anyone tried pickled asparagus?
Ah, apricot. Pure bliss.
Personally, my vote goes towards orange or apricot jam. Who can resist that lovely tang? Still I’m feeling adventurous so I think I might consume some of that delightful lime marmalade instead. Lather it on a muffin. And thickly spread.
I’m afraid I am experiencing minor post-parker trauma. It should recede. And the game was certaintly worth it! *apologizes profusely for having mentioned the thing in the cupboard* I think the best cure for my disease would be a soothing cup of chamomile tea. Ah, the joys, of herbaly infused, potable hot liquid!
196-I have never tried the asparagus, but pickled cauliflower is delightful! So are most pickled things.
post 171?
(199) Since I live in North Carolina, where sooner or later everything gets pickled by someone or another, not always with happy results, I tend to approach any out-of-the-ordinary pickled items with caution. But someone brought the asparagus to a pot-luck party, and it was amazing. Unfortunately, also expensive. I shall be on the lookout for pickled cauliflower.
Wait a second–I hate mentioning the thing behind the cupboard, but didn’t POSOC say something about a “marmalade aftershock”?
*foom* *liquified marmalade drips from cupboard*
Hm. I’ll get the paper napkins.
May I have an eclair?
Chai tea for me, please.
What a glorious card game that was! Applause to everyone involved, and I may have to take part once it starts up again.
Careful with that marmalade, IBCF. It’s been behind the cupboard, so you never know what it could do. [scary music]
(200) The game started on the previous thread on April 11. You can read about it here.
205-Thank you for your help, Mz. Lasley! I now understand-kind of…Are we still playing? I play 7 of wugs. Yes, not wungs, wugs. From the May/June 2006 Issue of MUSE
(206) Sorry, NAPOI, the game just ended. See Paul’s comment no. 185.
Aaah, I love eclairs!
I, too am off to buy a new deck, but first I would like to say 2 things:
1) I love all pickled things! Pickled string beans, anyone?
2) Strawberry jam please, as I dislike marmalade and apricot.
Let’s start it up agian in may.
ah, drat. missed it.
Although I adore all types of marmalades, preserves, jams, jellies, and the like, I do not enjoy anything left in acid for weeks, AKA anything pickled.
I need something nice and sugary to revive me. I am dead beat (if you’ll pardon my somewhat barbaric expression). I think an eclair and a meringue would be delightful. And a cup of peppermint tea.
*sips and nibbles*
Ah, I feel rejuvenated. I like some sauerkraut, mind you, not all. But (as I think I may have mentioned once or twice before) pickled cauliflower is without a doubt my most favorite-est pickled edible food. Pickles themselves can be decent, but, in my view, they are rarely anything to write home about.
*settles down comfortably in couch*
How I love this quaint litttle teashop! Its a bastion of Muserness.
The moderation is astonishingly fast. *is impressed* I am presently (well, not at this very moment, at this very moment, I am purely procrastinating) engaged in studying science…not from a textbook…not from class notes…not from the web, but from, you guessed it, Muse. Joy! *is jubilant* I think I’ll have a little chai tea. Just a pinch. To get the sugar flowing through my system.
*sips*
*senses sugar rushing through her veins*
I made Norwegian Pumpkin Pickle once. It was excellent. Well, the first jar was. It got a bit samey after the 15th. I’d already given the perishing stuff to anyone I could think of. There’s a lot of pumpkin in a pumkin.
For my birthday, I received a tea-for-one set from my dearest sister. It’s marvelous. In fact, I think I’ll go make myself a cup of Red Zinger.
*enters, dripping wet, and heads for the Gents’*
*emerges in formal dress*
The usual, please.
*sips chai and nibbles wung button*
Well, that was odd. First, I went to the Oasis Mirage to get a new deck. Emma was very kind and looked in the back for me, but all they had were a couple of standard decks with the four House suits. I looked everywhere for the Comestible suits, even little secondhand stores in little pinched-off pockets of Oasis space. Finally found Eclairs, a full Pasteboard Court, at least a hundred years old, in Mr. Onion’s Boutique: Purveyors of Fine Fictional Pastimes since 1673. Each card was laminated to keep it from falling apart, and it cost the earth. Literally. After some haggling, I managed to buy it for a reduced price, then won the fee back off him in a single round. Monsieur Allium may be an expert at identifying rare Paker cards, but he’s a very bad player, which is just as well: I doubt that the United Nations would be very happy about me auctioning off Ganymede. Peanut Butter and Chorley Cakes were a little bit easier, but I don’t think you want to know how I got them. I finally resorted to desperate measures (involving a battered copy of Through the Looking Glass, a canister of depleted uranium, and an overheating waffle iron) to procure a full suit of Muffins and the Special cards. Ugh. Even in the Oasis, a shopping trip can be a nightmare.
(216) Tell me about it. Don’t even get me started…anyway, that’s quite a find, however dear the price.
By the way, do you have a safe place to store such valuables until the next round? I’m not sure when that will be as yet. We’ll have to wait for the staff wungs to return. We packed them off for a holiday cruise in the Azores as the finale of the last game shook them to the core.
I’ll lock them in the safe aboard the Star of Qurtv. Nobody’s going to steal them off a hundred-pie-launcher battleship, and as Admiral of the Hydropastrican Fleet, I can access them whenever I want.
216- I’ve liked Slartybartfast’s Planet outlet, down near the Treasures of middle earth shop.
219- I tried there, and was able to procure a few of the special cards in their secondhand department.
216-Thanks for taking the time to procure the cards *shudders at word*, POSOC. Sounds like quite a hassle.
I’m no expert in the realms of antique Museical shopping. It seems like a spiffing topic for conversation, though. Why not compile a list as a guide to perplexed tourists with a propensity for getting lost (of course, I don’t mean myself)…
Indeed. Here’s what’s been mentioned so far…
The Oasis Mirage. A pleasant place whose perimeter is small but whose area is infinite. Its employees are quite friendly and helpful, and it sells everything from the most mundane to the most bizarre. Highly recommended.
Mr. Onion’s Boutique. A shop in which various games from different fictional universes can be purchased. The selection is excellent- it offers everything from Cripple Mr. Onion to bob-stones to djinnverso to Brockian Ultra Cricket to, yes, Paker. However, it’s a tad pricey, especially for the rare items, and its proprietor is irritable and conniving, with a tendency to make one’s eyes water. Recommended for the rich, insensitive, or desperate shopper.
Slartibartifast’s Planet Outlet. Although it sells a little bit of everything, it specializes in planets. Not recommended if you’re looking for anything specific, as they no longer take orders, but an excellent place to browse. Many of the celestial bodies they sell are those no-one else would want, so a few of them are defective (poisonous atmosphere, faulty gravitational field, moons crash into each other a week after you buy it). However, one discovers queer, wonderful treasures on their shelves surprisingly often. Recommended for someone who takes a “graze” approach to shopping, as opposed to “hunt.”
Treasures of Middle Earth: This large emporium has the widest selection of any Tolkienic shop I’ve encountered. The owner, Robert Fairbairn (a cheerful and enterprising hobbit, a more business-savvy version of Sam Gamgee), has amassed on his travels a collection of everything from dried athelas to genuine Wainrider bows, which he sells at reasonable prices. Highly recommended, although one should be wary of the Jewelery department- it’s rumored that he keeps a few minor Rings of Power in there.
What else? What’s the pet shop?
222- Delightful. And the H&H is there as well, unless I miss my guess.
223- I’m not sure. I haven’t conducted much research into that area. I imagine they’d carry wungs, though.
224- Yes, of course.
225-What’s the Museican Constitutional Convention?
226- We’re changing around the government of Museica and voting for three new Prime Musers. Come to the “Chronicles of Museica” thread for more details.
225 – Ooo, it’s a good job the serving wungs are on holiday. They hate being referred to as pets. I doubt whether any pet shop would attempt to stock them. They can’t really be bought, or even employed in the usual sense. They have to be coaxed. Once you’ve persuaded them that your home or shop is a Good PlaceTo Be, though, they’re very loyal. Annoyingly so at times. But they do make a lovely cup of tea.
195- Ah. Did guitars exist in the Elizabethian era, or is this an invention of your own?
Actually, you just reminded me… *Clicks on Paul’s name*
No good. I’ll have to wait a little longer.
222- ooh, I think I shall go shopping again soon. I saw all of those stores the last time I went although I also stumbled across a bookstore, Ms. Higgins’ Emporium of Intersubjective Fables. It contained stacks and stacks of books, new and old, though mostly old. I believe you can find any book you’d ever desire in there, even those unpublished or from different worlds. If you are kind to Ms. Higgins, she’ll even take you to the attic where I hear there are many assorted strange objects as well as books.
229 – The guitar came in around 1530, during Henry VIII’s reign. Not the modern overgrown hulk, though. The renaissance guitar is a pretty thing, not much bigger than a ukulele, and tuned the same, although three of the strings are doubles. It’s a lot easier to play than a lute, and you can strum it for dance music. It’s a very useful little beastie. Not as useful as a wung, of course, but more musical.
231- I don’t know, the Teal subspecies have always been very musical wungs.
231- Why three double strings? I’d think you would want to go for range.
Master Baker-Wouldst thou be willing to play at the Muse Academie May Day Ball? We wouldst very much enjoy some beautiful musick.
Thou wouldst; we would. Not everything is different in Elizabethan English.
I am afraid I have been absent for quite some time (and posts). Could somebody explain what this extremely organized conversation is about?
Hi I would like to order a slice of cake and a fruit puntch and I would also like to know how things work around here . Thanks!
237- Sorry, they don’t serve punch. How about ginger beer or cream soda? As for cakes, there are at least seven varieties available.
Oh, sorry for double post, but I forgot to explain how things work here.
Basically, this is a little virtual tea-room in which you can talk courteously and thoughtfully with other Musers. You can also nibble on their wide and delicious variety of comestibles or play a few games. The most popular game so far is Paker, also known as Iceland Hold ‘Em. It continued for the length of one and one-half threads, but ended just a few days ago when a Hedgepig Vacuum achieved superposition on a Heron Vortex, creating a hole in the fabric of space that sucked up the entire deck, as well as whatever the players were eating at the time. Paul dragged the card-table into a cupboard and locked the door. No serious effects on the nature of reality have been observed so far, but it’s been discharging marmalade on occasion.
Back to the subject- We’ve listed five shops in the Oasis, including Ms. Higgin’s Emporium of Fables. Any other Mirage-shoppers care to contribute?
I am confused. Precisely what is going on? All this talk of oasises is making me dizzy!
The correct plural is oases.
235-My mistake.
Mrs.Higgin’s bookshop of all bookshops. It contains any book you could ever possibly imagine! And places where you can read them, such as a positively gorgious reading room. And there are free cookies, for everyone. *sigh*
(Mrs.Higgins is Ms.Higgin’s sister in law)
I must go to Mrs. Higgins Bookshop!
I am leaving straightaway!
244-I can’t eat cookies…braces suck.
247- A big, fat, spike pie to braces. *just about to throw, then remembers he’s in a tea room and stops self*
err, last time I was at the Oasis there was only one bookstore run by a Higgins, Ms. Higgins’ Emporium of Intersubjective Fables. It is a little long so I usually call it Ms. Higgins’.
I am planning to play a little something for the Ball. Provided i can persuade enough people to stop bribing me to do other things. My diary currently resembles that of an entrepreneur or charcoal burner, and it must stop.
233 – If you want range, you play the lute. If you want to flatten out the learning curve, you play the guitar. Lutes are Ard.
Let’s see. I’m not very familiar with the commercial areas of the oasis but I’ll do some exploring. *dons hards hat* *picks up flashlight* I’ll report upon my return!!!
Hello all, I’m back. Just in case anyone noticed I was missing (I doubt it).
I am so tired right now I’m just going to leave my invisible bastion standing with its three wung points and accidental card in it. If that round hasn’t finished yet…oh well. Too fatigued to look.
253- The game’s over. IBCF created a paradox by mistake, and the table went recursive. It’s been shooting marmalade occasionally.
Right. Before I make a daring venture into the excessively unpleasant land of homework that I have been evading through a military tactic known as procrastination for the past hour, I will lay down a descritpion of Magnificently Munificent Marillana’s Mimsy Mangrove Market. It is not without reason that the store’s owner is known as munificent. Items in this charming little boutique cost nothing, more than that, Marillana is so gratified for patronage that she ususally pays one to buy from her. The store stocks paintbrushes. Neatly labeled and sorted into oak boxes (without lids, mind you) are hundreds of different types of hairs affixed to thousands of different types of handles. A painter’s fantasy, this store has been known to send people into hypnotic trances from which they emerge as experts on paintbrushes. If painting isn’t your thing, however, I wouldn’t enter (for fear of being overwhelmed by the sheer painterliness of the store).
I’d like a chai tea, please. Something to strengthen me for my long-postponed campaign into the dangerous no man’s land of homework. *shudders* I think I’ll need an eclair too, if I’m to summon up the strength.
We had state competitions at UC Merced yesterday for science olympiad! Our team took third overall!!!!! As an explanation to my name, I am in Food Chem. and we had two food label calculations, a 30-question test, AND about sixty bajillion lab tests! We had to burn a pecan and a pistachio to determine how many calories were in each, and the pecan would NOT go out!!!! We had two minutes left when we lit it and it didn’t go out until 10 SECONDS AFTER the time ran out!!!!!!! NEVER will I eat a pecan again! and we took sixth in the category(That is ONE behind placing!) AAAARGH!!! Also, my partner and I took third in BioProcess Lab! YAY!!!
257-Wow! Thats spiffing!
Cucumber sandwich, please. *munches* delightful! I think I’d like a muffin to satisfy my utter gluttony! Thanks again. I just got back from running so I am in desperate need of rejuvenation. *sprawls (politely, mind you) on couch* Any more boutiques?
258 – Well, there’s the Thing shop. It sells Things.
259- Isn’t it odd how the addition of a capital letter can increase the sinister quality of a statement so dramatically?
Y’know, this gave me a great idea to do with my friends. I invented a street called Boulevard in which my friends, Corina, Summer, and Olivia, and I each own a shop. I own a coffeehouse called the Corner Place. But it doesn’t limit itself to coffee. It actually sells pizza and a variety of things, all vegetarian. Anyhoo, the rules of Boulevard are that in your journals ( my friends and I all have journals- writing nerds) you draw the inside of your shop and a menu or catolog. I’m finished with mine. I have a page of drinks and a page of food. Terribly fun.
Are the Things Wild, or are they Strange?
Strange Things, or so I’ve Heard…
Oh, I’m sure you can get all sorts of Things there, along with various Odds and Ends.
I’d probably want a crazy, green thing, that likes pie, cheese, cucumbers, and The Beatles. Hmmmm, there are so many Things, it’s hard to pick. *looks at a cute HP thing that has a sign near it’s cage that says EVIL DO NOT TOUCH!* Oh, he’s not evil, he’s just cute and misunderstood, *pets it, than the little thing rips my hand off* OMIGOD IT’S VICIOUS I TELL YOU, EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
265- Folly thy name is Beatlesrockr! Never touch hpb’s.
Actually, I just had an idea for a thread…a sort of oasis RPG. We could visit all these shops, compare purchases, or simply enjoy strolling through the Oasis. I think it would be rather nice. A little like Zemtee or Museica without the politics, with just the cultural aspects of a Muse world. Anyone?
Right. Could I please have a chai tea and an eclair? Ah the joys of excessively sweet pastries.
May I have a sponge cake or something invigorating? Watching the game has tired me out.
*consumes ecliar* Delightful. The serving wungs are really remarkable. My compliments to the chef. Oh…rather a funny story. In art, we are studying Photoshop. One of our upcoming assignment is to create a magazine cover. Unfortunately, it cannot be for a magazine that already exists, which rules out making an alternative muse cover, even if copyright rules didn’t. However, I might do a magazine about world domination…Now I am depressingly stuck on trying to create a candyland tower using Photoshop. Its an utter fiasco to say the least: very very defective. I just realized that the latter half of the above post should probably be on the complaints and rants thread…and I am far too lazy to copy it there, of course. So, without any desire to be crude, I’ll have to ask you all to deal. As for things, I’d like something three legged. Maybe with googly eyes…and definitely hot pink…
A vague sketch to be added onto at a later date of Hypatia’s “thing”:
It will be three-legged and have 7 and a half googly eyes with hot pink pupils. It will be inlaid with gold leaf and decorated with a motif of tessellating roses. It will be slightly tone deaf and have immense Dumbo elephant ears, covered in neon orange asteriks.
More later…I’m of to try and get good seats to watch the hare-athon…
268- Would you object very much if that inspired me to Photoshop a magazine cover for a magazine called “Mostly Harmless”?
270-I think that would be superb…so long as you sent it in so that we all have the opportunity to see it!
Mostly Harmless, (Well, Maybe…) Magazine!
266-I like the idea of that thread!!!!
May I have some mint tea?
266- I think that has happened before and I vote that there should be a revival as well.
I would like some mint tea too, please!
My Thing would be a super attack pea, armed with a jelly muffin.Yum.I’ve increasingly found that the world is getting scarier. On this other website I go on, this person made a blog. It was really inappropriate. This *ahem* “person” did -shudder- I cannot go on. It is too disgusting.*retch*
I won’t buy a Thing. I think I’ll buy an Odd or an End instead.
I’d take an Odd!
I personally would like a Doohicky. They’re much easier to care for, you know.
I wonder if we could harness the power of the vortex-vacuum superposition somehow, like a marmalade-pasteboard powered Improbability Drive.
I’d like a gizmo…
278-Sounds like a daunting task…:grin:
I’ll take a whatsit!
279- Not really- I’m sure I could figure it out, given time.
Why hello there, everyone.
May I have a smoked salmon and lettuce sandwich? I have decided to order something here in the first time in my life. Oh, and can I have some Jasmine tea with that, please?
*settles down and attempts to understand what the conversation is about*
*gallons of slushy marmalade suddenly bursts out of cupboard*
Um…I think we need some buckets.
I”l get them!
*Gets buckets and cleans mess*
My Odd will help out! It’s technically a book-shelving Odd, but it ca n clean spills too!
284- Thanks. *mops up marmalade*
Just one thing you need to know about the Thing Shop. I believe it utilises Heisenberg somehow. Anyway, The Things it sells are inherently vague. You can ask for a pink Thing, and it will be acceptably pink, and fit in with your decor, provided you don’t specify what you want it to do, or what size you want. If you ask for a large pink Thing, it will be larger than a standard pink Thing, but it will be less vehemently pink. If you subsequently try to measure its size accurately, it will lose its colour completely. Try to make too many simultaneous measurements on a Thing, and it may disappear altogether. It’s best to discuss it in the abstract.
I’ll let you into a secret. Wungs are Things. You may have noticed that if you look too closely at a serving wung, to see what it looks like, or how tall it is, or how many legs it has, it stops serving, and you wait ages for your crumpet. It’s not shy, or offended by being stared at. It’s in its nature to lose coherence and objectivity if you try to pin it down.
Hmm…perhaps I should make my description a pinch more ambiguous. *considers* I think, then, that I’d like a vermillion gizmo. Spiffing! And a jasmine tea. And finally, a delicate slice of tea cake. I am resolved to stop being such an awful glutton!
Music for the May Ball – try this link :
http://www.devilmusic.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/grimstock.mp3
It’s just one of my old standards on my faithful hurdy-gurdy. I trust it will serve for prancing round the room in an appropriately opprobrious manner.
288 – I recall hearing that piece when I was looking through your website for a project I had to do on the music of the Renaissance. (It may very well have made its way into my powerpoint.)
Master Baker- Is there any way that we can buy/download your CD “A Cheste of Fyne Jewells” with American money without being to much of a hassle? After listening to Grimstock and various sound clips on your website, I would very much like to hear more of your music.
290 – It’s indeed time I put some more dollar buttons on the website. Let me ponder it for a couple of days.
286- ooh! I’d like a Thing! they do sound lovely. I think I’ll go buy an indigo Thing. I may buy an Odd as well.
Perhaps there is a section of the Thing shop that has the highly dangerous Clutter in them ohnoes!
Oh lookee a butterfly! }}i{{ yay
My Widget is a neon green puffball with a purple googly eye and a blue googly eye. Its feet are pipe cleans twisted into a spiral and it has a propeller hat because its feet are only good for snuggling, as it is a very peaceful Widget.
I believe that my favorite color is in a state of undulation between vermillion and pink, and that I am leaning towards vermillion today. Thank you for your time and may I pretty please have a cucmber sandwich? Again, danke.
286- Really? I wonder how Capricious ever managed to pin one down long enough to draw it. Perhaps she just approximated it.
Odds and Ends are less concrete than Things, although Widgets are more so. The difference between an Odd and an End is easy to see but nearly impossible to define. An Odd looks as though it doesn’t belong; an End looks as though it belongs, only more so. That’s about as concretely as I can put it in English. You’ll know the difference when you see it.
Continued in Vol. 1, No. 4