Sunday, 28 April 2024
Life, the universe, pies, hot-pink bunnies, world domination, and everything
Part 2008.1.
The lounge is on campus and is open to students from all houses. It’s much more informal than the Hare & Hedgepig (to say the least). Amenities include a refrigerator and all sorts of games, including a nicely broken in Paker deck. A good place to unwind from academics and to mingle with members of other houses.
Date: May 29, 2008
Categories: Muse Academy, The Musiverse
I play a 4 of hares and a 6 of hedgepigs to help defend my bastion.
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I haven’t the time, but I would be much obliged if someone would c&p the last few posts regarding the Paker game.
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well, how is everyone?
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2-yes, I agree completely. *goes to games closet* *pulls out pie-war hologram machine* “Anybody up to play against me? Alice, you said you’d like to play a while ago, I don’t know if you still want to…” *programs in rocky battle ground and a random generator of mattress sized pies to fall from the skies* “Aha! My favorite battle-pie-ground!
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Here it is:
1. POSOC | May 27, 2008 at 9:31 pm
Hmm. Perhaps the GAPAs are right. Cards do seem a little vulgar for a tea-room such as the Hare and Hedgepig, even such a Muserly game as Paker.
*raids fridge*
Hmm. Stale pie is no substitute for wung buttons with special lime marmalade, but it’ll have to do.
*breaks out Paker deck* I’m Bailiffing. Who’s in?
2. The Provisional Countess Hypatia | May 27, 2008 at 9:33 pm
Ah! This pleases me mightily…I never succeeded in involving myself (as much as I yearned to) in the MA RPG itself. Now, perhaps, the opportunity will present itself…
*settles down in enormous plush armchair*
*armchair compresses* “Woah!â€
*pulls out convenient book (Balzac, probably) to await other’s arrival*
*is seized by guilt*
*reluctantly returns book to knapsack and yanks out some incoherent notes*
exiger-to require…â€Blehâ€
3. POSOC | May 27, 2008 at 9:51 pm
“Evening, Your Provisional Excellency.†*sees notes* *sighs* “I feel your pain. This week, unfortunately, is Finals Week. Fortunately, it’s only three days. Two days now. But I have an awful science project. Ever built a Louviere car?â€
*sighs again* “Fortunately, I’m done now. Care to join the game?â€
4. The Guy Your Parents Warned You About | May 27, 2008 at 10:35 pm
I, like Hypatia, (I mean, Proverbial Countess Hypatia) have attempted to enter the MA RPG, to no avail. However, I’m still trying to get as involved as possible.
“Ah, hello POSOC! Good evening Hypatia! How are you both? And I’d love to join your game, POSOC, except I may not know how to play. It depends on the game.â€
5. The Provisional Countess Hypatia | May 27, 2008 at 10:36 pm
“I’d be delighted POSOC. And the thought of building anything sends shivers down my spine. I’m engineeringly challenged, and my grand ideas tend to fall through…miserably. My science final promises to be bizarre…12 questions. English and French, tomorrow. Oh dear! Please excuse me if I play a lingually confused version of Paker. My brain is muddled.â€
6. The Provisional Countess Hypatia | May 27, 2008 at 10:53 pm
I stand up (not an easy feat considering the squishiness of the armchair) and make my way toward the fridge. Like POSOC, I am disappointed to find only stale pie. “You’re kidding,†I mutter. I continue my search, but to no avail. Annoyed, I return to my seat, making a mental note to pick up some exquisite exotic deserts from the H&H. I then resume my seat. I notice TGYPWYA. “Hiya!†I say, “You plan on joining the game. Spiffing! POSOC’s synthesis of the rules is the best one yet, however, its not available here. I’ll make a long story short: be creative and clever, generally make stuff up! And have fun!†I grin. “If you start tonight, deal me in. I’m off to sleep,†I add, seizing my notes and schlepping off to the dorm for sleep and cramming, grabbing a slice of stale lemon meringue pie as sustenance as I pass the fridge.
7. POSOC | May 27, 2008 at 11:29 pm
“Well, there are eight suits in the deck- Herons, Hares, Roses, Hedgepigs, Chorley Cakes, Eclairs, Peanut Butter and Muffins. These can be used in a multitude of ways to create various defensive or offensive hands. There are also various special cards.The High Bailiff- usually Paul Baker, currently me- serves as judge and referee. Other than those basic guidelines, follow previous examples and be creative. Let’s start tomorrow, as it’s late where I am, and later where most of you are.â€
8. The Bookworm & Lurline | May 28, 2008 at 6:10 am
“Wait!†I said, walking slowly into the room. “Sorry I’m late, but I had to pick up this.†I lay done the platter, filled with food of all kinds. Cucumber sandwiches, bread, eclairs, and even some mugs and tea-bags for us to make some tea! “It’ll just be like a mini H&H in the lounge! Now, did someone mention Paker? If they did, I’m in!â€
9. MIssSwann | May 28, 2008 at 9:51 am
8- *snatches up cuke sandwich while entering door* G’day, everyone!â€
10. Ã߀ƒ | May 28, 2008 at 10:02 am
Oh, drat…We can’t start without the High Baliff, can we? I probably won’t be able to post much tonight…
11. The Man For Aeiou | May 28, 2008 at 11:20 am
I Enter, Head over to the frigde, and take out my pie. I throw it at POSOC.
“Nothing Quite like a Stale pie in the face!†I say, laughing.
12. KaiYves | May 28, 2008 at 1:24 pm
Hey, everybody! Glad to know it’s not just my computer that doesn’t open MuseBlog.
13. ZVX | May 28, 2008 at 1:26 pm
“hi guys,†I say, “I’ll have a game of Paker with anyone who wants to play.â€
14. The Guy Your Parents Warned You About | May 28, 2008 at 1:32 pm
“Hey, Bookworm, TMFA, IBCF, & MissSwann! How are you guys doing? And just how stale are those pies?†I say, greeting the newcomers. Then I say to POSOC, “So eight suits and very few rules? Sounds awesome!â€
15. Adeia | May 28, 2008 at 2:46 pm
“Hello everyone! Will some just explain this Parker game to me one more time?â€
16. POSOC | May 28, 2008 at 4:31 pm
Good afternoon, ladies and gents. Adeia, for an explanation, go to post 7.
OK, we’ll begin the round. Standard suits only for the moment, as well as any Specials you care to use. Wung points are only awarded by the Bailiff for now. Backs and comestibles don’t count, I’m afraid. Yes, I know it’s boring, but it’ll force you to get creative. And the next few rounds will widen the scope, don’t worry.
To start off, I’ll play the Seven of Peanut Butter. Build on that.
17. MIssSwann | May 28, 2008 at 5:02 pm
14- Stale enough to hurt like heck when smacked in the face with them. Don’t ask, please.
18. Beatlesrockr(8piepoints)&Hiejayko | May 28, 2008 at 5:05 pm
“Hmmmm, I play the 9 of Hedgepig,â€
19. Ã߀ƒ | May 28, 2008 at 5:11 pm
15- It’s Paker, Adeia. No “r†between “a†and “kâ€.
I play a knave of hares and a 5 of chorley cakes.
20. MIssSwann | May 28, 2008 at 5:37 pm
*is afrais to play paker because does not fully understand rules* (to no one in particular) Hmm… hedgepig… that’s a nice name…
21. POSOC | May 28, 2008 at 5:50 pm
17- No, it’s a combination of Poker and [Paul] Baker, it being a card game invented by the aforementioned Elizabethan GAPA.
Hmm. It looks like we’ve got an Odd Straight (5, 7, 9, Knave (11)) building up. It’s all vertical, though. I recommend diversifying laterally, and bringing the eclairs into play. A few Bastions wouldn’t hurt, either.
22. POSOC | May 28, 2008 at 5:50 pm
20- You don’t need to understand the rules. It’s like Calvinball with cards.
23. The Man For Aeiou | May 28, 2008 at 6:14 pm
20- “There are no rules.
*plays 9 of muffins.*
24. POSOC | May 28, 2008 at 6:46 pm
Hmm, we’ve got a pair of Nines and an Odd Straight, but no real offensive or defensive hands so far. Just remember, the best way to earn wung points is to be creative.
25. Kokonilly & Nilly & Romulus | May 28, 2008 at 6:53 pm
“Hm. What shall I do?†*raids pantry for Cheddar Quakes*
26. MissSwann | May 28, 2008 at 7:52 pm
22- Really? Well, in that case… *pulls out red face mask* “Wahoo!†*picks card up* Hedgepig.
27. The Bookworm & Lurline (10 Wung Points and 2 B-Day Points! And Custodian of the Rooftop Garden!) | May 28, 2008 at 7:57 pm
“I have 10 bonus points I earned earlier, which turn into wung points now the game has begun! I am playing a Six and a Seven of Eclairs and a King of Hedgepigs. With a pair and a face, I have the rudiments of the famous Sir Urre’s Bastion! I can then invoke the obscure Arth Rule to steal Beatlesrocker’s Nine of Hedgepigs, continuing the building of my bastion. End Turn. Where is Master Paul Baker, anyhoo?â€
28. Alice | May 28, 2008 at 8:20 pm
Hmm. I play an Ace of Hares, a Deuce of Herons, a three of Chorley Cakes, and a four of Muffins. This makes the Greedy Hare-ons Combination, which, played with a nine of Roses, form a Delightful Party. Pies all around!
29. Ã߀ƒ | May 28, 2008 at 8:21 pm
I play a 9 of eclairs to build a small but sturdy bastion.
30. POSOC | May 28, 2008 at 8:52 pm
All right, the game’s picking up now.
I’m going to award three wung points to Alice for her well executed Delightful Party (and peel a pie off my face), and I’ll award two to The Bookworm for creative use of the Arth Rule. Now, to help our new players, I’ll create a Land of Confusion by laying down a Knave of Eclairs, a Six of Peanut Butter, and the Special Phil Collins card. Any player sufficiently confused may enter the Land, which gives en a few advantages. First, each player may use a comestible of ens choice while inside the Land. Second, it rotates widdershins by one and a third revolutions each turn, thus creating a null reflective zone. The Land will be dissolved at the next Golden Wung, by which time the players within will hopefully have gained some understanding. Play on.
31. The Bookworm & Lurline (10 Wung Points and 2 B-Day Points! And Custodian of the Rooftop Garden!) | May 28, 2008 at 9:01 pm
The blog is back!!!!!!!!!!
32. The Guy Your Parents Warned You About | May 28, 2008 at 9:50 pm
31- Sure is!
Hmmm… *is slighly confused, but realizes how it works* I’ll play a Seven of Roses and a Nine of Hares to create a Doomed-Garden Scenario. The nine hares proceed to “eat†the seven roses, one each. Unless someone plays the Deuce of Roses by 8 AM MB Time to satisfy the remaining two hares, they will return to me and transform into the dangerous (to both opposing players and the holder) William the Bunny Conqueror Card.
33. The Bookworm & Lurline (12 Wung Points and 2 B-Day Points! And Custodian of the Rooftop Garden!) | May 29, 2008 at 6:25 am
“I’m playing the Deuce of Roses! I’m also playing a Queen of Hedgepigs and an Eight of Eclairs, to advance Sir Urre’s Bastion.â€
34. The GAPAs | May 29, 2008 at 5:45 pm
Aha, the game’s afoot! Baker here, but briefly, I’m afraid. Just time for one move before beddy-byes. Right, let’s see. It’s developing nicely, and POSOC’s doing an excellent job as High Bailiff. Cat among the pigeons time, I think.
Three of eclairs, four of hedgepigs, eight of roses. I declare Pellegrino, and link all the bastions on the table with a Concourse of Herons.
*cackles*
Nighty-night!
Bookworm Now: 6,7,8 of Eclairs, King, Queen, 9 of Hedgepigs. This is the second stage Sir Urre’s Bastion!
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Well, this promises to be a memorable game! Three wung points to Paul Baker for his daring Pellegrino, and three to TGYPWYA for the equally risky Doomed-Garden Scenario.
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As Interim Spanish Inquisitor, I award 2 wung points to Paul for his perceptive assessment of the High Bailiff.
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7- Under the Sans-Trump Aspect of the OKGO Rule, to declare oneself Interim Spanish Inquisitor, one must translate a Monty Python quote into reasonably grammatical Spanish.
All players: The Concourse of Herons is open to Herons, of course, but also trumps, which are nominal herons with respect to the concourse. Coontzian Specials (such as those which relate to chemistry and physics) may also enter the Concourse with a fairly simple inversion. However, as yet there is no set trump. I would recommend playing a Flush Mountain or similar to make the Concourse accessible to your strong suit.
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Selon des Articles du Lapin Impérial, on peut utiliser le français dans un cas d’urgence.
“Non, non, il n’est pas mort, il se repose! Un oiseau remarquable, le norvégien! Comme il est bleu, n’est-ce pas? Quel plumage ravissant!”
Voilà .
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9- Interesting! I’ve never seen the Articles of the Imperial Bunny invoked in that manner.
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Moi, je suis La dame Bunniful. Je pwn les Articles.
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11- 
How do you conjugate “pwn” in French?”
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Je pwn, tu pwns, il/elle pwnt, nous pwnons, vous pwnez, ils/elles pwnent.
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13- I never thought I’d actually say “ROFL,” but there’s no other way to describe what I’m doing right now.
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Spanish: Pwner
Yo pwngo
Tu pwnes
Usted/Él/Ella pwne
Nosotros pwnemos
Vosotros pwnéis
Ustedes/Ellos/Ellas pwnen
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(13) Une petite faute: le pluriel pour la troisième personne est ils/elles pwnnent. Pwn est un verb extrairrégulier.
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I always mess up those superirregular verbs. And is it “il pwnt” or “il pwn”? French is lovely but does have annoying quirks.
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(17) Either is correct, depending on which you think is funnier at the time. Yes, the superirregulars can be quite tricky, sort of the Pakers of verbs as it were.
(14) MuseBlog does have that effect. I’ve lost count of how many things I never thought I’d say or do.
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18- Luckily, “pwn” is one of those verbs which is governed by humor rather than grammar.
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18- Like discovering three Blue South Carolina Wungs curled up on your bed? Or signing on as ship’s cook aboard a vessel named after a mustelid? Or becoming Official Random-Thread Photoshop Artist? I can see how you’d lose count.
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20 – Ah, now I remember why I missed the MB. 
*waves* I’m new to the Academy, so I hope you don’t mind if I stay a spectator for this game! I suppose I should be looking into the houses and whatnot, but at the moment I’m too intrigued to leave.
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21- Welcome back!
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As the suit of Roses has been shamefully underused, I’m going to play a King and a Deuce, thus creating a Flush Mountain. Roses are now trumps. Work with that.
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13- ROFL, LMAO. You crack me up, to say the least.
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I’m playing Deuce of Herons on my bastion to link it to the Concourse. Are there any wung points up for grabs?
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25- In this round, wung points are only available by Bailiff award, but there will be some later.
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25- During this round, Wung points are only available by Bailiff award.
Did I already say that? If so, whoops.
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(20, 21) MuseBlog: Inspiring people to surprise themselves since 2005.
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Allice, are we still a team?
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29- Any alliances will have to start from scratch, but if she agrees, feel free.
Since the Land of Confusion isn’t doing much good in this round, I will play the Knave of Roses, thus speeding up its rotation by one half-turn. This should give it sufficient impetus to survive through the next Golden Wung, and thus allow newcomers in upcoming rounds to get a feel for the game.
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Aw, you guys lucked out. Another two hours and William would have been mine. Good job Bookworm, you may have saved everyone. Let’s see, what should I do now…
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29- We can reunite if you’d like.
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*is completely ignored* *sigh* oh well. 17-I would in fact, suggest ‘pwnt’.
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I note the consternation caused by the concourse of herons in the first round. I knew it would cause panic. It was actually a displacement action – sleight of cards, in fact.
Here’s the trick – everyone forgets that Pellegrino is one of the torpid declarations. It can be declared without actually being established – what Singh and Waters would describe as a subjective declaration. Three of eclairs, four of hedgepigs, eight of roses is a strong formation, and looks impressive, but the configuration’s wrong. The result is that the bastions are linked only by a minor concourse of Herons, whcih isn’t fully binding on any bastion of less than 7 cards.
Knowing that should give you some more room to maneouvre. You’ll need to watch your backs, though, in case I or someone else establishes Pellegrino, which we can do without a further declaration – or worse, declares Pulcinello with a valid codicil, and has the cards to back it up.
Play on!
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I have been woefully absent from the game. Time to get playing!
But first,
Future simple- Je pwnerai
Futur anterieur- J’aurai pwnu
Conditionnel-Je pwnerais
Conditionnel Passe-J’aurais pwnu
Imparfait-Je pwnais
Passe Compose-J’ai pwnu
Sound alright, that? 
Right. Now I want to make a splash, a grand dramatic entrance. Something petty and trivial won’t do. Therefore I:
Invoke the Ingpanza rule and split the deck, dissolving one endpoint of the concourse of herons. I then play a nine of herons and construct an emulisified bond, which I fortify with a 2 of roses. Finally, I construct a “puissant bastion” with my hedgepig hand (ace, seven) and execute a Sedgewick maneuvre, making it inpenetrable from the Southeast.
Good enough for you? *cackles maniacally*
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Amo Amamus
Amas Amatis
Amat Amant!
Video Videmus
Vides Videtis
Videt Videunt!
Go Latin congugation!
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A Sedgewick? *Faints* I’m playing a full Concourse of Herons to link Hypatia through the Northwest. I’m also playing a King of Herons!
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3 wung points to Hypatia for a suitably grand entrance.
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I execute a Leprechaun maneuvre, wheel my rose regiment (royal suite) to the north facade of the edifice and block the vertex of your concourse. So ha!
I also pick up my laptop, lain conveniently to the side and start to work on some absolutely cruel work involving, what else, the INFAMOUS POWERPOINT, promising to pop into the game from time to time. As I work, I munch at some of the pastries Bookworm was thoughtful enough to bring over.
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38-Oh! Why thank you!
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(19) Your comment suggests to me the lovely idea of a whole grammar based on humor….
(35) Brilliantly conjugated. I particularly like the participe passé — simply as a visual, “pwnu” est formidable et vraiment spiffing!
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41-Thank you! *blushes* I went through a brief dilemna on the subject of the participe (pwnu or pwne) but decided that (as you mentioned) the visual appeal of pwnu is far greater.
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I’m playing a Nine of Eclairs and a Knave of Hedgepigs. That makes Sir Urre’s Bastion, Third Stage: Deuce and King of Herons, King, Queen, and Knave of Hedgepigs, and 6,7,8,9 of Eclairs. I then create a Table Inversion by invoking the Three-Suit Rule on my Bastion. *Nibbles Eclair*
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This is wonderful. And thank you for the wung points. They will come in very handy in my next contretemps with the wungish domain.
Nothing radical, I think. Play safe. A simple conjuction will do nicely. Three of eclairs, four of herons, eight of roses set on eight of hedgepigs, which always looks so pretty. No declaration.
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It looks like the game’s at a lull, so I’m going to throw some new variables into the mix.
Golden Wung. End of round 1.
Round 2 will begin with two decks- Escher and Furlined. You can score on backs and face designs, so describe them in detail, please. Still no comestibles outside the Land of Confusion, I’m afraid.
To start off, I’m going to play a demi-lock on the Concourse. King of furlined Roses, backed up with an Ace of Chorley Cakes. Establishing Pellegrino now requires a three-step riposte. This should discourage anyone who isn’t deadly serious about it, and it will also help to stabilize the lateral signatory.
Chorley Cakes are trumps. Round 2 begins.
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*somewhat confused, plays 9s from all suits. and decks.
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Round Two! Chorley Cakes are trumps, so I’ll play a Furlined Queen of Chorley Cakes. The Queen on the card is centered. She has short hair, and intense green eyes focused entirely on the task at hand, juggling. She is juggling several Chorley Cakes, which appear to be moving at a high speed from the card’s motion lines. Playing her advances Sir Urre’s Bastion to the Fourth and Final Stage. This completes the set-up for my power-play, using the Escher Deck. I play a Special Card, Confusion, on the Escher Deck. Riling the spirits inside that deck and in the Land of Confusion, it splits, and, in a whirlwind, explodes. All cards and bastions are gone. In the middle of the table is the Force-Fielded Central Card ‘The Yggdrasil Tree’. The Furlined deck remains, and all points stay. I gain 5 anti-wung points from large distruction. Starting Round II off with a bang!
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Sixteen nines? You’d better get those under guard quick. Single-number bastions are notoriously weak, but a pair or a triple can reinforce one, and it’s easier to acquire them than to make them.
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How do you play? Can you teach me?
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yes, I figured it would go like this. *puts away pie war board* maybe people just don’t read my posts… oh well. *rolls d6* *gets 5* 5 cards… not bad… okay. to break through the border on the land of confusion and lock it open. this shall be a most difficult decision, but I have had a most excellent hand…
I begin by taking out a pie balloon and placing/popping it in my southeast corner of my own jelly board… cherry should be extra strong in this situation thanks to the inverse principles of escher… *arranges pie goop in organization of upside down house melding with sideways tree* now after planning my own defenses, I must play in the offensive… *drops magnetized bouncing ball in middle board* This shall weaken that boarder, now time is of the essence! Must… blast through borderline… Aha! escher principle again! comestible-combustible! That must be the trick! *places pineapple pie-bloon in land of confusion, while simultaneously playing a fur-lined chestnut queen, creating a self timed, self baking pie cake bomb!* Muhuhahaha! Pretty soon heck will break loose if you don’t so anything fellow musers…. *plays bubble shield of 2,4,5,and 6 of soap bubbles to lock decision* bubbles/spheres are the most stable shapes… let us see if you break through that! oh! *plays inverse hedgepig card to temporarily balance Escher principle*
There. done.
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Wha…? 
Is that how you play it, or some incredibly confusing turn?
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oh… bookworm beat me to it…
49-it’s at the top of the page. Although, in short, it’s calvinball with cards…
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47- Holy cake! I don’t even want to know how many Vacuums and Vortices that play created.
The effect on the Concourse was particularly bizarre. The demi-lock went through a full revolution, so we’ve got a circular logic spiral. Fortunately it stabilized, so that’s the least of our worries. The Land of Confusion held due to its comestible potentiality.
So that this doesn’t turn out like the last game, I’m using the Silver Wung to dissolve Yggdrasil and thus neutralizing all the Vacuums. However, this leaves a few Vortices, particularly Herons and Nines. Be careful out there, ladies and gents.
Using a Rose Straight, I’ll create a Thorny Labyrinth in the center of the table, and place 11 wung points within. They’re up for grabs, if you manage to get through the four-layered Rose maze. It’s furlined, so there’s a tendency to go feral.
Chorley Cakes are still trumps. Play on!
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Okay… so can I join?
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50- Sorry, Gim, but comestibles aren’t permitted in this round.
Comestibles=food
The Land still stands.
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frustration is spending five minutes typing a post, and then finding that it doesn’t so anything. *sigh*
54-of course! join right in!
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Yes, you may.
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55-I know! why do you think I tried to blast through the border?
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XI Wung Points! *Drools* I need to re-build my Bastion, as all Bastions were destroyed! I am playing a Furlined, (Only Deck Left!) Knave of Chorley Cakes. He is a youth of short stature, yet slim. He looks elvish, and has a belt with gems on it in the shape of Chorley Cakes. He has a devilish grin. he is the start of my New Bastion!
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ohhh…*gives up*
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56- Sorry, it was very creative, but see below.
58- You used 2 comestibles- pie balloon and self-baking pie cake bomb- in your move, as well as several suits that are not in the deck. Specials are okay, but adding in entire suits is a bit over-the-top.
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Okay… well… this is the beginning of round 2, if I’ve read correctly… Chorley cakes are trumps… *mumbles*
I’m afraid I don’t know what “trumps” refers to in cards.
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61-yeah, I know… I give up anyway…
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62- In Paker, trumpship makes a suit slightly stronger. Bastions made with it are sturdier, hands made with it are more powerful.
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63- Why give up? The game’s hardly begun. If you’re confused, just go into the Land of Confusion. You’ll be able to use comestibles there, and you can observe the game until you feel more comfortable.
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Is my pseudonym too long?
Before I make my move, I want to conduct a physchological experiment on the SCRAG who moderates this post (uber sorry!). Haha! I’ve never been snipped…
Now that I’m done with that, I just need to await the results and in the meantime, play some.
I play a nine of roses. The card itself is celadon and faintly fuzzy to the touch (save on the edges, where it is distinctly thorny). Nine rose petals are scattered on the card, each one cut to form a letter of the (nine-letter) phrase, “red petals” and arranged to make this word just visible to the careful observer. The card’s smell is aromatic; dew and freshness wafts from it. Around the edges (in between the thorns) SSS’s about roses and their impact on hpb society are inscribed. Below is an example of one such:
(physchologist) I am afraid I still don’t understand. You profess to be content, you tell me that you have the chance to do all of your favorite things, bunnification, mind control, that human subjects are at your disposal, and, yet, you insist on visiting me.
(patient) I feel that there is a gaping hole in my existence. There is a salient lack of beauty. The thought obsesses me so much that I am scarcely able to control even the most feeble of the humans.
(physchologist) BEAUTY! What a ludicrous notion. You are a hot pink bunny! You are beautiful. Look in a mirror…or a lake.
I tried. And that was then it came upon me.
What came upon you?
That I am entirely the wrong shade of pink.
Nonsense, you are just the same as the rest of us!
Exactly! We are all the wrong shade.
So what do you propose we do about it?
Juice roses and bathe in their dye.
and and *juice roses* *bathe in their dye* *accquire distinctive hot pink color (instead of mediocre fuschia)* *are happy*
These are inscribed in size six Edwardian font.
On the other side of the cart is a rose made out a tesselation of tiny hpbs on which is written the child’s rhyme, “Ring around a roses” in aubergine zapfino 14 font (multiple spaced).
That description sapped me of my strength. I will be back to expound on my move in a moment.
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Okay.
So I play a furlined king of chorley cakes. The king’s eyes are unfocused. He seems to be staring into space, thinking.
A bastion starts to shimmer into existence as I play a furlined knave of chorley cakes. I don’t know what a knave is, but I think it’s like a jack, so he is off-center, reading about Paker.
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65-ah. foo. I have observed the game for a while.
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66- I think that merits a full five wung points.
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I’m also playing a Furlined Nine of Muffins. Nine of Muffins features Nyne Mufyns Azure on a Fyld of Gules. One of the Mufyns is Argent. Yt ys Inscribed Upon the Carde: “All Mufyns Ar Fyne Fellows. May You Treate Them Well. – By Ordere of Kinge Mufyn the VIII. It forms a Bastion with the Knave of Chorley Cakes.
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What’s ROFL?
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ROFL stands for Roll On Floor Laughing. It’s the next laughing step after LOL (Laugh Out Loud). After ROFL comes ROFLOL (Roll On Floor Laughing Out Loud). It is the ultamite expression of funnyness.
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I walk into the Lounge, after succesfully completing an adventure in the MA basement (I really hope so. It hasn’t happened yet. We’re still all trying not to get killed on the RPG thread). I start to watch the card game and get horribly confused.
“Hi, I’m Kyra, a Neophyte. I’m not sure if I would want to play the game you’re playing (sorry if I deeply offend someone).”
Aren’t there any normal games in here??? I think. Luckily, I always bring my trusty Kings and Queens of Scotland regular card deck with me wherever I go, so I find an empty table and begin my 457th game of solitare.
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Now, that’s interesting. A game of solitaire on the next table. I wonder –
I’m playing a Contortion. Recursive staircase of sixes, built around Bookworm & Lurline’s bastion. King, Queen and Jack of something (as yet undefined, because I’m taking advantage of the residual uncertainty vortex), played off table, in the direction of the game of solitaire. Random cards from the conventional decks on the solitaire table should now interact with the Paker decks, and vice versa.
Now, a three and four of Chorley Cakes, to hold everything in place, and since they’re trumps, I declare Mandrake.
I do like an exciting game.
Kyra – if you let us know what cards you’re playing on the Solitaire table, we should be able to integrate you nicely into the current round of Paker. Don’t worry if you don’t understand it. Nor do we, sometimes, especially when some idiot plays a contortion.
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As Paul has so kindly declared Mandrake, I will use the opportunity to scream and make my Knave of Chorley Cakes and Nine of Mufyns escape the Contortion placed around them and go towards the Four-Layered Rose Labyrinth. I also play the Eight of Mufyns, (Ate Mufyns Vert on a Fyld of Or). In addition, I am playing the card First Person on my Knave of Chorley Cakes. It is a Special, filled with tiny text, which allows me to recollect/post turns through the eyes of the Knave of Chorley Cakes (In italics !
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Sorry! The end of Post 75 should read, “(In italics,!)
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Let’s try that one more time! “In italics!)”
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Finally: “(In italics!)â€
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69-Danke!
I construct a riveting regiment, combustulate Bookworm’s entrance into the labyrinth, then settle down reluctantly, math notes in hand, to liquidify my brain through an excess of parabolas and inverse variations (promising to be back the moment my presence is warranted).
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Oooh, I missed a lot. Let’s see… I’ll play the Jack of Muffins from Furlined. Hmm. This is an odd card. The Jack is entering the card from, uh… The card looks like a picture of the Jack jumping off of a giant muffin, on his way down. (That’s probably the best way to describe it) He has… a red liberty spike mohawk? Whoa. And he’s playing a guitar, a Dean USA Rusty Cooley RC7G 7-String Signature, to be exact. Other than the mohazk and the guitar, he looks like (and is attired like) the Jack you’d find in any normal deck. And there is a caption reading “Jack Jackson.”
Okay, now that I’ve got that done, I’ll play the Deuces of Hares and Hedgepigs (both Furlined with an image of two multicolored Hares/Hedgepigs on them) which, combined with the Jack, creates a Harmless Bastion. On my next turn I will attempt to build it into a Mostly Harmless Bastion. (Be warned)
I’ll also play the Furlined Three of Hedgepigs (Three Hedgepigs at tea time) and the Furlined Five of Peanut Butter. (Four peanuts boxing in a jar of Creamy) Therefore, a sticky, prickly creature ventures out from my Bastion into the Thorny Labyrinth. Being a pointy creature himself, the thorns pose no problem to him, and the Peanut Butter sticks to the whole Labyrinth. He continues to walk away and I scoop up the Wung Points within.
Oh yeah, there is now a Thorny Labyrinth meandering aimlessly at a fairly good speed. If I were you, I’d try to avoid it.
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I shall play a Furlined Seven of Muffins. The card smells faintly of bluberries and looks somewhat edible, although I dare not taste it. It has a picture of a muffin with hot-pink ears. It sends a shiver down my spine. The muffin cements (and decorates) my finished bastion.
I then play a Special Pillow card, un-thorning everything, making the labyrinth soft.
Then, I play a Furlined Ten of Peanut Butter, making everything stick to anything remotely resembling a roof of a mouth.
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where’d my post go? oh well, this is what it was
I will play the ace of herons and will take the deuce. Then I will discard one card to take another and I will play the ace, deuce, and three of herons with the Furlined King of Herons creating a triple attack. Every Furlined card played after this is useless now until a player makes a 4 Times Play Combo.
I prolly forgotten to press “submit” but it was right after post 28.
So it’ll be played with this one too.
I quickly play the special Grape Jelly card to make a PB&J sandwich shuffling half of the discarded pile into the drawing pile.
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82-Gosh that keeps happening! Anyhoo, yeah that’s me, time for a different alter ego, I’m really bad at it…….
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I have been busy with grad parties but I’m still interested in Paker.
I play the 2,3 and 7 of Hedgepigs and create a prime numbered wedge in between Alice and my bastion and the Thorny Labyrinth. This protects our bastion.
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Ack, so much you can miss in a day!
I play a 7, 9, and 5 of eclairs, creating a durable eclair wall in front of my bastion. I bring my knave of hares on the other side to protect my bastion until the wall is completed.
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GAPAs, did you get my Lasley House scroll picture?
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(86) Yes, Robert posted it on Muse Academy, part 2, a couple of weeks ago.
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84- Sweet!
I play a single (Escher) Ace of Hares. This is a single blue-green rabbit whose ears suddenly turn into steps with people strolling along them, upside-down and right-side-up. The rabbits eyes are multicolored and it is wearing an extremely confused expression. On the backside is a long an elaborate poem in a made-up language, which reads,
Rabbitstairs
Rabbitstairs
Rabbitstairs
Rabbitstairs
Rabbitstairs
Rabbitstairs
Rabbitstairs
Rabbitstairs
Rabbitstairs
Rabbitstairs
Rabbitstairs
Rabbitstairs
Rabbitstairs
Rabbitstairs
Rabbitstairs
Rabbitstairs
Rabbitstairs
Rabbitstairs
Rabbitstairs
Rabbitstairs
Rabbitstairs
Rabbitstairs
Rabbitstairs
Rabbitstairs
Rabbitstairs
Rabbitstairs
Rabbitstairs
Rabbitstairs.
This extremely simple verse is complicated by the fact that this language has ninety-one words for “rabbit” and forty-six words for “stairs,” plus about seven words that mean “rabbitstairs.”
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I play a 8, 7, and 4 of eclairs, completing another third of the wall.
Anybody interested in forging an alliance?
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I construct an opaque wedge with my three of herons. To put in play, I use an ace of roses and two-dimensionally project it onto the northeast wall of my emulisified bastion. As a result, aforementioned wall inverts and is strengthened by 3 cardots. I then translate the widdershhins keystone to distort my bastion’s northeast levee three stints. As for Argolath the Magnificent’s contortion, I construct an architectonic nano-pellegrino and combust the vertice of the bottom-most stair.
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I’ll be your ally, IBCF! Activating First Person Card: I, the Knave of Chorley Cakes, had been approaching the Thorny Labyrinth. However, The Provisional Countess’ Mounted Regiment had stopped me and my two Mufyns, so we hid in the bushes. A strange creature appeared and gobbled her Regiment, and took XI Wung Points from the Labyrinth. Once it had gone, I stepped out of the bushes. We wandered for a while, until we found a strange staircase of rabbits. We walked up it, and found a hole at the top. We hopped through the hole, and found ourselves near a set of eclair-ish gentlemen and ladies, who asked for allyship. I graciously accepted, and together we formed a Bastion…
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I’ll play the King of Roses and the Queen of Hares creating the Hot Pink Bunny formation. Then I’ll play a Ace of Peanut Butter and a Ace of Muffins, and my Peanut Butter Muffin will make anything that attacks my bunnies stuck in place.
Hypatia or Alice, would you form a alliance with me?
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I don’t want to barge in on what seems a very exciting game of “cards,” but I noticed something interesting (to me).
73- My main deck of cards is the Seashore Life deck by the same company that made yours! I also have their Trees deck and one by the National Gallery of Art , with a great Queen of Spades illustration.
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I play a 9, 4, and knave of eclairs, completing the wall around our new bation. Anytime one of our cards needs to get through, an eclair will simply swing open.
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I’ll push forward my peanut Butter Muffin and my hot pink bunny formation towards the IBCF The Bookworm’s bation.
Anybody want to form an alliance with me?
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Ooh, this is exciting! I’ve lost track of what’s going on, but it seems memorable.
Golden Wung. End of Round 2.
Round 3 begins with the dissolution of the Land of Confusion. All comestibles are permitted. Three decks- Vendaval, Cerise, and X-Chequer. Cerise is contra-rotating.
To start, I shall place 49 wung points in the centre of the table, with an Ace of Peanut Butter and a Three of Hares forming a Peanut Brittle Bastion around them. Anyone who manages to circumvent or penetrate the bastion can lay claim to the wung points, but beware of claim-jumpers and challengers.
Hares are trumps. Go to it.
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My solitare game is starting out nicely. I play the ace of clubs at the top and flip over a queen of spades.
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I’ll form an alliance with you, Beatlesrockr! And I’ll play the Deuces of Peanut Butter and Muffins, improving my Harmless Bastion into a Mostly Harmless Bastion.
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I play an ace of herons and a 5 of muffins, and have them and my knave of hares leave the éclair wall to meet Beatlesrockr’s attack.
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88- yay!
I now play an ace of spades and the two of hedgepigs and together they form a bridge between the solitaire games and the ongoing game of Paker.
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100- Oh, great.
I flip three cards and come up with the queen of hearts. I throw her into the Parker game over the ace of spades bridge and back her up with a knave (Jack- go Great Expectations!) of spades and a nine of spades.
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Wait a sec, cross 101 out. It’s my Kings and Queens of Scotland deck, so I can provide names!
I flip three cards and come up with Mary, Queen of Scots. I throw her into the Parker game over the ace of spades bridge and back her up with David the Second and William the Third.
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I play a cintuple inversion on the subjunctive card my opaque wedge has issued. All of Bookworm’s narrative is put in subjunctive. Therefore it only occurrs if a specific condition (sepcified by the arrangement I intend to lay down in a moment) exists. Now to specify the condition…I lay down two impetious herons, creating a basilical fortress, which I pivot thrice. The result is to make the necessary prequisite for Bookworm’s narrative to be true: 4 rose bastions are built and then destroyed by a 4th pikelet combustion issued from a three furnace whose keystone is an inverse pellegrino. That should stall you!
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Cintuple or quintuple?
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104- 
Quintuple…my, I am making a lot of errors tonight…
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87-Thanks.
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My post vanished! Gr…
I get to work on the peanut brittle bastion defending the 49 points.
I play a nine of Hares (Nine hares. They appear to be at war with one another.) and back it up with a King of Hares (A King with furry rabbit ears).
The hares get to work chewing up the peanut brittle and have made a small hole.
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What? I’m sorry but I don’t know what anyone is talking about here. Would sombody please fill me in on what’s goinging on here? Thanks!
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108 – We’re playing Paker. ((added unhelpfully))
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Does anyone here have a museblogger-kokon-every-day friend?
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110-Sort of…though en stopped posting afore my time…I’d disclose en’s identity, unfortunately, that would involve disclosing my location, which I am adamantly against. Sorry!
I deploy one regiment to the third egress of the peanut brittle bastion. There, I construct a mini architectonic faun furnace. Its periodic combustions cause a delinquesent effect: each pikelet of the walls will gradually dissipate.
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110 – …Well, I have a Muser-non-MuseBlogger friend, whom I see rarely.
That doesn’t count, does it?
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110- I don’t personally know any Musers, though I wouldn’t be surprised if someone I know turns out to be one.
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I am besieged from all sides! I am moving my/IBCF’s Bastion toward Beatlesrocker’s HPBastion. I am playing a Vendaval Queen of Hares, (aka Lady Bunniful), to stall the HPBastion. I then move the eclair set into the center, to divide the Bastion up. I then use my Mufyns to cast final blows, annihilating the Cards, and move back to the Brittle, which I begin working at! Onto you, IBCF!
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The hares have now made a rather large hole in the bastion. I step in and grab the 49 wung points.
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Not so fast, Kokonilly! Drop the wung points! My/IBCF’s Bastion steps in after Kokonilly and attacks her Bastion, using our large amount of Eclairs, Eight and Nine Mufyns, Knave of Chorley Cakes, and very useful Queen of Hares, (Lady Bunniful). I’m also playing the Quin and Kyng of Mufyns, who steal 30 of the wung points from Kokonilly, (She now has 19!) I give 15 wung to IBCF and keep 15!
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I play a 7 of hares and a 5 and 8 of roses, then send them towards the peanut brittle bastion to intercept Kokonilly’s hares.
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Reinforcements have arrived! IBCF, you now have 15 wung points!
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I shrug and step out of the bastion. At least I have some wung points now. I rush to defend my bastion with a King of Eclairs, Knave of Muffins, Queen of Chorley Cakes, and Ace through Ten of Roses, which prick the attackers out of there. I then install several Sevens of Roses to rebuild my bastion.
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Don’t know what to play.
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Seemingly nobody is noticing my Queen, so I pick up six unused cards in my solitare game: the JOKERS! John Balliol, Edward the Eighth, Lulach the Simple, George the Third, George the Fourth, and Robert the Third. I push them out onto the Parker-battlefield.
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Whoa. Since my last post, I’ve gone from having the most wung points to being in fourth. I guess a lot can happen quickly.
I move my bastion towards the whole Kokonilly/IBCF/Bookworm affair and fortify my defenses with the King and Knave of Peanut Butter.
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I use my HPB army toward Bookworm/IBCF’s Bastion and use the lanch attack. The cards making the Bastion are destroyed and then I will use my Peanut Butter Muffin to make sure it cannot be rebuilt.
114- I’m not sure you noticed my other post. My Peanut Butter Muffin will make whoever attack stuck in place. I think it was post 92? Your card aren’t stuck, but my Bastion is still up. I use the 7 of Chorley Cakes and the 7 of Eclairs making the Lucky Deuce. I place them in with TGYPWYA’s Bastion to help with the offensive.
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My/IBCFs Bastion is gone, but at least we still have wung points. I am playing a Vendaval Diversion Special to distract the others, while IBCF and I can slip away…
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123- How did you get through my eclair wall, Beatlesrockr?
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125- That’s the problem with switching computers so much.
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125- BCF? Man, that’s worse than ICBF.
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123- HPB’s special with my triple attack. The Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich restored more than half of my army
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It seems to me that the players aren’t making maximum use of their comestibles. I recommend bara brith for rearguard actions, although muffins are also pretty potent.
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I’m activating the Spanish Inquisition Rule to make myself the permanent Spanish Inquisitor General! ¡Nadie cuenta con la inquisición española! ¡Nuestra principal arma es sorpresa! Sorpresa, y miedo. Nuestras dos armas son miedo, y sorpresa. Y una dedicación casi fanática al papa.¡Nuestras tres armas son miedo, sorpresa, y una dedicación casi fanática al papa! ¡Y un uniforme agradable del rojo! Nuestras cuatro armas son miedo, sorpresa, y… Entre nuestro armamento esté: Tema, sorprenda, y… ¡Oh, entraré… That’s the Spanish Inquisition en Espanol!
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I play the Rebellion card, thereby dethroning any government officials and/or governments. (Including the Spanish Inquisition.)
Then, I build up my defenses by installing a Wall of Roses around my bastion.
I then launch an attack on TGYPWA’s bastion with a Nine of Hares, Seven of Eclairs, backed up by a small army of HPBs.
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I use my Lucky Deuce to destroy the Seven of Eclairs. Half of my HPB army is now behind TGYPWA’s bastion.
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I counter that by sending in a black bunny, thereby hypnotizing the HPB army ((see the Bunny Apocalypse thread 
)) into dying.
While that is happening, I send into battle a small army of nillybuckbucks.
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I play William II from MLS’s deck to counter Rebellion. I am the Permanent Spanish Inquisitor General!
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Nillybuckbuck: idiotic genius, such as a genius who forgets small things, such as what year it is or what grade they’re in or what that word is.
I play Worldwide Rebellion, dethroning the SIG permanently and making me Word Dictator Permanently.
I throw in a little Supreme Dictatorship card, nullifying the effect of Rebellion and Worldwide Rebellion on my status.
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hey, will you give ME some points? I haven’t had any since April.
please?
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My monarchs are luckily being ignored, so for the present I turn back to my solitare game. I still have 8 cards to flip over.
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I invert the quadriletaral bastion that my hares have formed and form a knave flotilla and hedgepig armata, which I subsequently drive at whomever has the points, stealing 15 of ’em
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“Oh no you don’t!” I yell. “I have nineteen wung points. I’m not givi ng up any now! ATTACK!!!
My HPBs subsequently charge at the knave and hedgepig army. So do all of my other cars who are not guarding.
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This is all very exciting!
Golden Wung. End of round 3.
Round 4 will be the final round. No restrictions other than the standard ones- comestibles, specials, and backs all are permitted. I’m undoing the demi-lock and establishing Pellegrino, so the Concourse of Herons links all Bastions now. 67 wung points in the middle of the table, up for grabs.
Round 4 begins.
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A small division of my HPB army dashes out to grab the 67 wung points.
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140-The pressure is on! *quakes with fear*
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139-Woops sorry! Forgot to respond.
I move my regiment one pikelet to the Northeast evading your charge. I then invoke the Overly Kitchy Gilded Ornaments rule, allowing me to deploy two of you cards into the cyber void by discarding one blank card. My flotilla reforms and encompasses you (crescent combustulation). I execute a dexterous pellegrino, and the reulting faun furnace allows me to burn up two hpb motifs (Ogden Nash Rule, Article V, Section IV).
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My Lucky Deuce kills the black bunny and I still have half of my HPB army. I play a king of Eclairs so my head bunny can only be destroyed if the card uses triple the damage than a army special attack. I send him and 2 small troops to grab 67 wung points from the table. Giving half to TGYPWYA. I now have 34 wung points. Now I use my Eclair Hare and have him use his air jump to get to my/TGYPWA’s Bastion.
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144- Hey, Beatlesrockr–could you look at post #125?
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Oh, no you don’t Beat! Did you see post 141?
My army, furious, rages toward your head bunny with the Undeniable Boredom power of a nerdy HPB/
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((lurking and very confused. are you playing a card game within a virtual game within a blog? :confused:
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147 – I think so…
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67 wung points, and everyone busy fighting for them! I’m playing King, Queen, Knave, and Exucutioner of Mufyns. I also play Time Machine, permitting me to move back in time to post 140, and grab the 67 wung points! This also creates a Temporal Impossiblity Paradox, annihilating Posts 141-148!
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I also play Safety, undoing all time fiddlings and destruction of posts, reach in, grab the points, and RUN!
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149- Using Time Machine to retroactively grab points already taken is not strictly against the rules, but it’s considered bad sportsmanship. Be warned, and use the Concourse next time.
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Ach, Crivens! Foiled again! I play the Twenty-Seven League Boots, and run after Kokonilly!
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151-Sorry, Balliff POSOC! She undid it, though…
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So does my post count? Do I get the posts?
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Sorry. Do I get the points?
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154, 155- Yes, you do. Bookworm was warned, but I didn’t think the infraction was serious enough to cancel ens action.
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Triple post! ARGH!
I sprint away from Bookworm and retreat into my bastion.
“ATTACK THAT KID!!!!” I screech. “But some of you stayed behind.”
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Yes, because you played Safety fast enough! I’m still coming after you, though!
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The bunnies attack Bookworm. But at least a quarter of them stay behind and guard the fort. I personally play the Fuzzy card, making all food items vanish temporarily and making a fight purely between HPBs.
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“Executioner!” screams my Queen of Mufyns. In a flash, the Executioner of Mufyns appears, skillfully cutting down Kokonilly’s Minions with his scythe. The King of Mufyns sneaks around stabbing minions in the back! The Knave of Mufyns, meanwhile, grows lower ranks of Mufyns and sends them to attack. Now that the bastion is subdued, I send my Queen of Eclairs, which I just played, to steal Kokonilly’s wung points. She steals 30 of them!
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Didn’t I JUST say that all food items vanish? That includes MUFFINS and ECLAIRS.
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Those aren’t food items, by the way. They are cards!
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Aww, dangit.
I send out a King and Queen of Hares to subdue the Executioner and King. Then, I send out my army of Muffins ranks 2-10 after the Queen. I also erect a wall around her. They subdue her and bring back the wung points. I now have 86.
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Food items are comestibles, like real Muffins and Eclairs! Those, however, are cards with the suits of Mufyns or Eclairs. therefore, they don’t count as comestibles. That means they don’t vanish!
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Oh. Well, at any rate, I took back my points and still have 86!
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She’s the Queen of Mufyns, which are the same thing as Muffins. Therefore, she commands your Muffins and keeps the wung points!
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Well, can one person get rid of maybe 100 little people?
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After playing Fives of Herons and Hedgepigs, my army of Flying Hedgepigs and Beatlerockr’s remaining HPB army move to attack Kokonilly for the wung points. And that meandering Thorny Labyrinth is coming in from the other side, making escape impossible.
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Oh, COME ON! I steel myself for battle. “My army of Roses! Go! Prick all of the HPBs! HPBs! Go and attack the Hedgepigs!”
Meanwhile, my King of Chorley Cakes attacks the Queen of Muffins, taking back the 30 wung points. I also play Air Enforcement, making the flying hedgepigs grounded.
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I play a 1 of muffins, which shoots around the table and destroys anything it touches instantly. I immediatly kill all of Kokonilly’s roses, slaughters her King of Chorley Cakes, mauls the Queen of Muffins, takes all of the wung points, and disables the air enforcement card. Then I destroy her bastion and makes it so that she can’t play any more cards, effectively putting her out of the game. Then I do similar thing to TGYPWYA, Beatlesrockr, Hypatia, Mogget’s Little Sister, oxlin, Alice, and anyone who I forgot to mention. Then I use it to create a vacuum that sucks up every wung point that has ever existed, giving me gazillion of them and making me the winner of everything. Then I use it to destroy everything except me, Bookworm, the wung points, and the cards. Then the universe implodes and everyone dies. (Okay, okay, I’m joking. But has my point been proven?)
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Yes, point proven, IBCF.
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I send the Knave of Mufyns and the Queen of Eclairs to help the Queen of Mufyns seize back the 30 wung points! She also uses the 100 little Mufyns you sent out, which she turned to my side, to attack you.
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I have a friend who is a mber.
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if you want a great web page for MBers, here’s one: [Snip! No personal pages, please. –Admin.]
(de-linktified, of course.)
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I send out my remaining HPBs to attack the 100 little muffins and turn them to my side. They all go gallivanting after your royalty madly.
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I use the Knave of Mufyns to grow enough Mufyns to counter your Muffins, with the help of the King, (Kyng) and Queen, (Quin) of Mufyns, the Executioner of Mufyns, and the Queen of Eclairs!
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Whaddaya mean, Knaves of Muffins can grow muffins?
Anyway.
My black bunny takes out your executioner, king and queen of muffins, and dies heroically.
My head nillybuckbuck (Summer) takes out your queen of eclairs and knave of muffins and also takes out several hundred of your muffins. I run in and snatch the points back.
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Hmph! There goes my neat Mufyn Bastion! I play the Eternal Queen (Special), Two of Eclairs, Queen of Witches, (Special). This creates a Pratchett Bastion, First Inversion. (The Quin, Rincewind, Granny Weatherwax) I charge you and take back the wung points! I then invoke the Unbreakable I Have To Go To The Theater Rule, which protects my Cards and Points in an UNBREAKABLE Protection until 10:00 PM, Eastern Time.
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171- Apparently it hasn’t. 
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N.B. As a general rule of thumb, the number of posts required to penetrate or collapse a Bastion is usually equal to the number of posts required to build it.
This game seems to me to be devolving toward something along the lines of:
Player 1: *steals wung points*
Player 2: *steals wung points back*
Player 1: *steals wung points back*
Player 2: *steals wung points back*
Player 1: *steals wung points back*
Player 2: *steals wung points back*
In order to keep this from happening, I’m going to mix it up a little. *cackles*
I’m declaring Pulcinello, with codicil as follows: Knave of Roses, Five of Chorley Cakes, and a thick slice of Bara Brith. With clotted cream.
All bastions now have a Wung Tax imposed upon them by the still-effective Concourse of Herons. With each progressive inversion, a wung point vanishes from the player’s store and continues on a Mobius Slide in a widdershins direction through the Concourse. Due to the circular nature of Pulcinello, the wung points can only be re-claimed after two full revolutions.
Finally, in order to keep things from getting boring (as if), I’m destructing two Eclair Straights on opposite cardinals, creating a Binary Comestible Vortex. I expect you’ll take full advantage of this.
The game’s reaching a climax. Play on!
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Oooh, nice one Kokonilly. But those hedgepigs are still pretty dangerous, especially with the special Electron card I’m playing. Now any attempt to attack them has the same effect of sticking your tongue in an electric socket.
And I don’t have to worry about that tax, because my bastion is not, has never been, and will never be connected to the Concourse. (Admit it POSOC, it’s a valid loophole.)
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I play the Jack, the King and the Joker of Roses which creates a zone of metamorphosis and causes Alice’s and my bastion to slowly grow and change.
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Rightio. I execute an anomalistic magnetic inversion: the magnetic poles are reversed and all army’s orientations are changed. However, I anchor the bastions with my hare of mufyns The result is the transplantion of my army into the interior of Bookworm’s bastion. To declare a full widdershins infiltration, I construct an provisional flotilla with my army and occupy the cardinal points. This allows me to steal twenty of the wung points. To protect them, I build a hedgepig suite pellegrino (quintuple combustion). I warp its fixtures (mobius modulations) to fasten them more tightly. I will take advantage of POSOC’s pulcinello by usurping the imbroglio its function generates for artillery. I also make a convalescent infirmary, capable of repairing damage no greater that 13 pikelets to ensure that my bastion does not collapse.
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181- Could be a valid loophole if you executed it correctly. Where does it previously say that it’s unconnected?
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I enter the student lounge and spot what looks like a game of Paker. I head over to watch. I reflect on how stupid it was of me to forget to bother people into teaching me. Maybe I’ll have some luck learning by watching…
((Unless someone wants to TELL me…))
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184-in other words they must just disconnect. simple, innit?
185-calvinball with cards.
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183-At that point, I was protected by Unbreakable I Have To Go To The Theater Rule, which protected my Cards and Points in an UNBREAKABLE Protection until 10:00 PM, Eastern Time. At this point, I’m running away with my (Already-Played, so no Tax) Twenty-Seven League Boots! I also use the Eternal Queen, (Already-Played), to guard my Bastion!
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187- I’m afraid invincibility of all kinds is prohibited. You could have sat out of the game temporarily.
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188-Sorry POSOC. Could we say I was temporarily out?
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I haven’t been on this thread, in what seems a very long time. First, IBCF, I did see post 125, see post 128 (I meant to say 125).
Second, Kokonilly, post 141 wasn’t up when I posted.
I play a 4 times play combo by using my Queen of Hares (already played) and my Jack of Eclairs to form the Big Bunny Wall to guard my Bastion, and then I will use my Ace, Deuce, 3, and 4 of Roses to use a a defensive position right in front of my Big Bunny Wall. So furlined cards are now restored. I play a furlined 3 of Hares (the picture looks extremely like a HPB with a mustache and a suit of armor the looks suspiciously like it’s 2 sizes too big for him) and use “The Secret Garden” special card to make 5 cards of my choice hidden.
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I/My Cards jump down the Concourse of Herons into Pullincello. It will not eject me for two Revolutions, because of the Mobius Slide. I play the Enking (King: Female) of Witches in the Pratchett Bastion. This creates Pratchett Bastion, Second Inversion, (The Quin, Rincewind, Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg). I lose a wung point due to Wung Tax, but regain it as I’m in the Pullincello at this point!
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Eh, I quit. It was funner in the first game. *resigns* *gives all wung points to Bookworm (unless someone’s stolen all of them already 
)*
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186-Ah.
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192-Sorry you feel like that, IBCF. You were a great partner!
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191- Actually, even though you’re in the Concourse, the Tax is still in effect. You have to wait two revolutions before trying to recapture it. I’d advise you to prepare a Catchall or Sieve of some sort beforehand- the Mobius Slide is notoriously slippery, and the point might pass you by.
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191-However the 4th pikelet of your pratchett is half out of the pulcinella; you owe a 1/8 knave for that!
192- : ( Play next time…
Bookworm, I weaken the foundations of your Pratchett bastion by undermining the granite vertex. This leaves you with only a tripartite bastion and effaces your cardinal defense. With a dexterous flotilla maneuvre, I unravel the 2nd vertex (Spindle Rule, Article V, Section II) and thereby rid you of the ionic defenses. Only the core remains, and it is already teetering ominously! When it collapses, your bastion will be reduced to binary…so Ha!
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A Binary Bastion? Bad! The 4th Pikelet of my Pratchett is out of the Pullincella? Why, none of it’s in the Pullincella! It’s all in the Pullincello! My beautiful vertices… If you are tottering my ionics inside the Mobius Slide, that’s bad! But, you must’ve put your flotilla inside the Mobius Slide. Therefore, I play a Catchall Sieve at the bottom of the Mobius Slide. The Provisional Countess’ flotilla will get caught, thus enabling me to use it as a support vertex (Toddle Rule, Article XI, Section III). I also play, at the loss of a wung point, (which will fall into my Catchall Sieve), The King of Eclairs, (Wizards in the Pratchett Bastion). The Pratchett Bastion, now Third Inversion, consists of The Quin, Rincewind, Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg, and Mustrum Ridcullly! Two wung points will be caught in the Catchall Sieve, so far!
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Technically, it’s Pulcinello.
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POSOC, the Concourse was created in Post 34, and my bastion wasn’t created until Post 80. So logically, unless the Concourse expanded to include my bastion, I’m not connected. Also, the Concourse isn’t fully binding on all cards of less than seven cards. (Refer again to Post 34) My bastion has six.
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199- Ah, yes, in that case you would be disconnected.
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The game being in a state of dormancy, I shall play the final Golden Wung. Tally up the points, and call Paul in- I’m not Bailiffing again.
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201 – I fully sympathise. It gets rough in the chancery, especially when confronted with absolutely stellar play like hypatia’s thrice pivoted basilical fortress, followed by an inverse pellegrino. I haven’t been around to help out. Many apologies for not doing my job. Or rather, for doing my job and not moderating Paker.
However, if I may say so, you did a sterling job as High Bailiff. The Wung Tax in 180 was devious, and worthy of recognition. I hereby award you 60 irrevocable wung points. Youve earned them.
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Is there anything else to do here besides play cards? I’m fairly new on this thread so I don’t really know what’s going on. Sorry!
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Ack! I’ve been gone for so long.
Anyway, who got the wung points in the end? I think it was me!
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202- My thanks. Shall we begin another game?
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202-Thank you! It was your pellegrino that gave me the idea, you know…
*applauds POSOC* You did a truly flamablamblous jobb baliffing!
I know I didn’t win. In fact, my score is pitiful, but I had fun! And that’s what matters…
Can’t wait to play again, though I’ll probably miss the next game unless it begins very soon as I’ll be travelling for a huge block of time in the summer. Unless of course, I bring my laptop with me… *conspires* Well, anwyay, I’ll be in a strictly electronic-free camp for about 5 weeks come July…*ends rant*
Right. Shall we put this lounge to its other purpose for a little while now? A slightly less dramatic purpose, I would postulate…
I’ve finished “life beyond the virtual divide” finals (my last one, science, was today) so I no longer have to bore you with exceedingly tedious rants. However, I registered for about 20 MA classes, and I’ll be studying for those in here as soon as they begin (if I am given clearance to go through with them, that is ). Till then, I’ll just settle down in this lovely plushy armchair and enjoy an eclair from that conveniently located fridge!
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Why not? Let’s start again!
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Immediately. *shudders* A day to collect myself, and I’ll be ready. But really…you must have nerves of steel if you’re ready to face another round of Paker without even a momentary pause… ( )
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208- At least it didn’t end like the last one. We really NEEDED a month to recover from THAT…
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I have nerves of steel! New round!
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Aw, come on. Whenever I checked on here, nobody had done anything since POSOC confirmed my disconnection. But I wanted to let someone else make a move first before I launched my invincible attack on everyone at once. *sighs* Oh well, I guess it can wait until next game. Let’s give it a short break before starting, though. I need to come up with more plans to win. *laughs evilly*
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This was fun! I had 72 at the end, which I’m now erasing! *Snipped!* I’ll try Baliffing at some point!
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I’m teaching some kids to dance at a castle tomorrow, so I’ll probably be out of commission again for a bit. I’ll try to drop in on Thursday, and kick off the next game.
There should indeed be simultaneous threads for other activities. I suggest desktop slalom, using lollipop sticks as skis and potatoes as skiers. We’ll need to lift up the edge of a table to create a slope. But not the Paker table, please. It’s difficult enough to keep track of, without introducing gravity on a diagonal.
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I’m making a physical Paker deck using the card descriptions on all three threads! I’ll send in some pics soon, and it will be grand if there is a kokon soon!
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I have no idea how many Wung points Alice and I had since no one seemed to notice our Bastion.
Good job Bailifing, POSOC! That seems like hard work..
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Meanwhile, there are plenty of other things to do in the student lounge. It’s a place where students of all houses can relax when they’re not in classes or studying. (It’s even theoretically possible to study there.) Just as Muse Academy is the perfect school, the lounge is the perfect student lounge — whatever you might conceive that to be.
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Ooh! There’s a Wii!
*plays Lego Star Wars on the Wii*
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I sit down in my favorite chair…which could more aptly be described as an elaborate flotation device and body of water. In the middle of a tiny artificially constructed pond floats a wicker raft. Its precarious wobbling is good for my concentration, and the occasional drop of water prevents me from dying of the overwhelming heat. I pull out a notebook and set to editing the piece of writing that I plan to submit to Muse…”If anyone wants to play desktop slalom, or super G at that, I’m all for’t. Just give me a tap on the shoulder!” I say.
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Hey! A Wii!
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“Yes! A Wii!”
((said as I slash through General Grevious one more time))
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215- We have three.
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I tap Hypatia on the shoulder. “I’d love to play some Desktop Slalom!”
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“Excellent,” I say spinning around and descending carefully from the chair. “I have some popsicle sticks whose edges I have refined to make turning on them easier. Could you possibly supply the potatoes while I prepare the table? I am uber excited!”
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I grab a nunchuck and controller. “I call being Obi-Wan! What level are you on? Oh!” I swing the controller wildly and press the B button 50 times while doing a double jump. “DIE DROIDS! DIE!!!!!!”
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“Hey Beat! I am defeating General Grevious right now… thankfully, not in story mode… I call being Han Solo!” I fire multiple rounds, just to distract Grevious while Beat attacks en.
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I dash to the fridge and grab some potatoes, then bring them back to Hypatia!
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Right, here are the rules of Desktop Slalom.
1) Competitors may choose their own potato. Its size must be within sensible limts. Nothing big enough to make an entire bag of chips. No, English chips.
2) Skis may be made of any conventional material, and lubricated likewise. There’s usually no point in using anything more sophisiticated than lollipop sticks, but if you want to try brushed copper or turkey bones, go ahead. By the itme you’ve applied a bit of graphite, they’ll probably perform about the same.
3) No direct physical contact with the potato or the skis is permitted. You may guide your potato through the slalom course with a fan, water jets, small projectiles, laser impactors, or telekinesis, provided you can convince all other contestants that it exists. The alternative approach is to install a microcontroller and pre-program direction changes. You could even try a mechanical program, based on something like a Jacquard loom, but the mechanism must be small enough to fit inside the potato, which you are allowed to hollow out for the purpose.
4) Each potato is allowed three attempts to complete the course. The fastest potato to finish without hitting any of the obstacles wins.
5) I have absolutely no idea how to play Desktop Slalom on a blog, or how to moderate it. You’ll have to work that out for yourselves. I’m off the Hare and Hedgepig for a cream soda.
Have fun!
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Oh, yes – no direct radio control. That is classed under the same heading as direct physical contact.
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My potato is a large (within acceptable parameters) raw Russet, peeled for streamlining. The skids are Popsicle sticks, laminated and lubricated for sturdiness and speed. On top of the potato, I am mounting a small computer chip/sensor array which derives power from the battery principle (copper rod, zinc rod, potato). It detects obstacles and adjusts the skids to avoid them.
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l meant lollipop sticks. And the array is small enough to fit inside the potato. Nobody said we have to actually put it inside the potato.
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Let’s see, I’ll fit out my potato with Lego skis, apply graphite, and set up my radio vibrator. It vibrates at the potato’s frequency and moves it along, like a cell phone going off. Now I’ll program the course into it and get ready to try my hand at this…
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The Robotato is ready for the first race!
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I think I will stick a Babel Fish on my potato, for no reason except that it looks good!
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I do a double jump once again and hit the General. He goes flying and Kokonilly can move in for the final blow…
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I become Qui-Gon and slice him right in the back. He shimmers and disappears. The screen says LEVEL COMPLETED.
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(I sliced General Grevious in the back, not Qui-Gon.)
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Right, then. I’ll prop up one end of this table with a spare suitcase. You’ll notice I’ve stuck some cotton reels to the table for obstacles, and the course is marked out with ribbon.
Who’s going first, and who’s being referee?
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237- I’ll go first.
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I’ll be the referee!
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Right then. POSOC, launch your potato.
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5…4…3…2…1…Potato!!!!
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((Is Beatlesrocker here? *waits*))
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((242-Whoops, sorry, I haven’t been on this thread for a little bit))
YEAH! We beat him! It once took me and my friends an hour to beat “Lego City” but now I can finish it in 20 min.
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Well, what level do you want to do now?
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244- *shrugs* I don’t know. Have you gotten Indiana Jones yet? If you go to trailers and watch the one for Indiana Jones, you can get the character.
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245 – Actually, I have the Nintendo DS version, so I know nothing about the Wii version. Let’s get Indy!
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And we’re off!
Not going badly for the first stretch, on the straight and narrow… ooh, particularly tricky bit coming up here, but the sensor array steers it true… ouch, that’s a bit closer to the reel than I would have liked… ah, nasty shock there, but it comes through to the finish with a time of… Beatlesrockr, what was the time?
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56 Seconds, POSOC!
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248- Not bad, but it could be improved. *starts tinkering*
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Are each potato’s three attempts successive? Or is it my turn now?
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It’s your turn now!
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246- Oh, ok then.
The trailer appears on the screen, after it, Indy is put into our character dock. Once we get back to the Cantina, he’ll be there.
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Okay! *sits and watches* *drools* I reeeeeeeaaaally want that game. *video ends* Cool! We got Indy!
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My potato is a Glacier Chip (chosen by its oh-so-appropriate-name). I fiddled a bit with it so that now, to minimize friction, drag, air resistance, and buoyancy, it’s airfoil shaped and has a streamlined exterior. I am using a titanium pencil (no questions as to why I possess such a thing, (which I don’t)) that I have made some discreet changes to in order to sharpen the edges and generally make carving easier. My steering mechanism is a device that emits ultrasonic waves of varying frequencies and determines their location on this basis of how quickly they return(based on a bat). And my potato team name is:
Fraggy (derived from fragment, derived from chip)
I call going as soon as possible! I think I’ll live broadcast mine so that, even if it doesn’t win, it creates a sensation!
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Okay… I set my potato on the starting line and turn on the radio frequency vibrator. It works! My potato vibrates along the table at a quick pace. It avoids obstacles which vibrate at different frequencies. Ooh, that was a close call, but it just missed that ribbon. Coming up on the third turn now… It just brushed the ribbon but quickly steers away. At last! The home stretch! It’s gonna make it! YEAH! What was my time?
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43 Seconds!
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Sweet! Who’s up next?
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Hypatia!
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I release my potato with a (legal) flourish. It goes skidding down. My titanium pencils, however, have other plans. To my horror, the potato goes carreening dramatically to the left, propelled by the sharp edges of the skis. At the edge of the table, the ultrasonic device kicks in; rather, it panics at the prospect of falling of and the potato, using what momentum it has left, goes carreering uphill where it grinds to a slowstop. Then the edges kick in once again. The potato is ruthlessly driven into an incessant 360 until it dawns on the ultrasonic device that it isn’t moving (or rather, that its too close to itself). Finally, to my combined relief and horror, it breaks out of the 360 and takes a slow swooping path towards the bottom.
Time: 4 min.
Ah well…
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That too was Hypatia…
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That means we’re back to POSOC’s second try!
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*sighs* What a fiasco!
*retreats to little lab in the corner*
*fiddles assiduously*
Aha!
I have returned to tr…*”improved” skis snap*…umph…
*rushes back to corner*
*putters*
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POSOC, any time now. Ah, well. We’ve got plenty of time. Does this lounge serve light refreshments?
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*Carries over Platter from the H&H* Your choice, Mister Piggy!
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Sorry I’m late. Next attempt. I’ve increased the range of the sensors and added a small water jet for extra speed.
Launching.. OK, it’s GLURGBLELFBEPLUUSSSHHH…
*gets up off floor* *wrings out socks* What was my time?
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By the way, can we start up a Paker game again soon?
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41 Seconds, POSOC!
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I’m in the lead! *does victory dance, making squishing noise due to still-soaking socks*
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Ooh! Paker sounds fun!
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wish i could play….
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You can!
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Let’s see… I’ll have a pot of Jade tea and a Chorley cake. No, two. Now, who’s turn is it? Mine? Oh, well, all right. Let me just do some small adjustments… There we are.
I set my potato at the starting line and turn it on. It whizzes away at breakneck speed. I fiddle at the controls to make the potato resonate at the inverse frequency of each obstacle, making it avoid them. Unfortunately, I set the amplitude too high and, instead of steering around the reels, it reverses direction and flies at my head. *blacks out*
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Hello, freshman here.
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I will be a freshman too.
Paker, anyone?
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272-Time: Ummmm…… It hasn’t passed the finish line yet… It’s still going…. and…. Ow! It hit me! It appears to be flying now… And… It just crashed. Oops. Final Time: Unsucessful Attempt.
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Now if no one minds, I am going to go get myself some Harry Potter movie tickets.
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oh yay, I forgot about this thread for a second.
Paker sound good right about now.
Meanwhile I’ll just go and get some cucumber sandwiches and play some Super Smash Brothers Brawl.
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Can I play?
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I’m willing to bet that “cucumber sandwiches” has never before appeared in the same sentence as “Super Smash Brothers Brawl.”
I’m also willing to be Interim Bailiff, but only until Paul shows up again.
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279-Could I be Interim Baliff this time? You got to last game!
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280- By all means. I’m happy to let someone else Bailiff this game.
You may want to consider, though, that an Interim Bailiff cannot join the game as a regular player once the permanent Bailiff shows up.
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279- You never know…
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281-May I be Permanent Bailiff for this Game?
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*fade back into consciousness* GAPAs, I think we need separate threads for Paker and Desktop Slalom. This could get messy… And I think its POSOCs last turn for Slaloming.
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284-No it’s Hypatia’s Second, Piggy!
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283- Sure, if you’re up for it. I know I’m not.
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286-Okey-Dokey. Shall we wait until Slalom is over or not? If not, I can start it off tomorrow.
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287- Whenever.
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somebody tell me when Paker is about to start. *wanders off*
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Now! Firstly, the Decks: We have only Vendaval for Round 1. Secondly, Comestibles: Permitted for all! Thirdly, Suits: Hares, Hedgepigs, Herons, Eclairs, Chorley Cakes, Peanut Butter, Roses, Muffins. That’s All! Fourthly, Theft: Wung Points going back and forth and back and forth back and forth was a big problem last game! Therefore, I’m instating the Chapel Rule. This Rule says that if Player A has 10 wung points, and Player B steals them, Player B cannot steal them back! Player C, though, could steal them. Note: For this Rule, an official alliance counts as one Player! Fifthly, Wung Points: I am placing 13 in the center! Wung Points can be granted from description. Starting: I am playing a 8 of Hedgepigs: Vendaval back, Black Border on the Front, Blue Cross, 2 Hedgepigs in each Quarter!
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New Thread?
[Done! –Admin.]
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