Monday, 13 May 2024
Life, the universe, pies, hot-pink bunnies, world domination, and everything
A thread suggested by Purple Panda, who describes it thus: “… the best way to make chocolate chip cookies, a good method of doing homework, the secret to jump-roping, etc.” Brilliant idea, PP. Now, about that cookie recipe…
Date: April 13, 2006
Categories: Life
my mom makes monster choklit chip cookies
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its a family secret as far as im concerned
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I do my homework back to front so that people wont be able to copy it
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Oh!!!!
When solving one of those ‘find your way to the finish’ things, always start from the finish and end at the start. It’s easier.
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I got first post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *does first post dance*
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That is a really good idea, #3 (Ptolemy)
It’s probably annoying for the teachers, though.
Our ‘family secret’ of how to make dinner, is to put something in the oven on timebake. “All hail TimeBake!!”
Hmm..It was my idea and I really don’t have too many ideas…hmm…we make oatmeal-chocolate-chip cookies. Sometimes, to make it go faster, we make the chocolate chip cookie dough, and then just put it in a pan like brownies or something and put it in the oven. It is much easier – you don’t have to keep putting pans of cookies in.
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once my mom added beans to the brownies we were making. it didnt taste bad, and it was healthier.
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Fascinating! What kind of beans? Canned Boston baked beans, or black beans, or something white and neutral-tasting? I guess you’d want small ones.
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i think it was those refried beans they use in burritos… i could be wrong. ill ask. i also managed to get an extra brownie on the grounds that they were healthier. P.S. we also used whole wheat flour
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We use whole-wheat flour in EVERYTHING! My dad even got whole-wheat noodles until we told him they were nauseating.
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Ah yes, I remember vividly the whole-wheat flour spagetti experiment. Dry, stiff, brittle, bland, and they scratched going down. Why does my dad delight in buying the weirdest grocery items he can lay his hands on? Lately he’s been into Indian food. Instant curry lentil soup. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be… I don’t think I know any great secrets about anything. Does anyone know how to make really fluffy whoopie-pie filling without using raw egg whites? Heck, I’ll be happy if anyone even knows what whoopie-pies are. I believe the things are also called ‘gobs’ in some parts. I tried just using a LOT of powdered sugar, but the stuff ended up tasting like nerds for some reason. Making whoopie-pies for the annual family shore trip is a long time tradition. Granted, I’m not in the direct line of descendents of the usual pie maker, but it will be some time until the heir to the throne is old enough.
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i can make fudge. and anything that comes in a package with instructions. that’s the extent of my cooking abilities.
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those super choklity pie/ cakey thiings?
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it probably tasted like nerds because nerds are like colored sugar, pure sugar, sugar in a box!! a really brightly colored box!!I like the little cartoon nerd guys, they are funny!!
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How to freak people out
1. Sing.
2. Ask people if they ate their Weetabix today.
3. Have a nice little chat with your alter ego(s)
4. Hit people whilst yelling “CATHASSUS! CATHASSUS!”
5. Twitch
6. Tell people they have cameras in their hair (Or in jacob’s case, that other people have cameras in their hair and are watching him)
7. Talk in Elizabethan
8. Talk in Chaucer-style middle english
9. Talk in latin
10.Talk in elvish.
11. Talk in gibberish, while sounding absolutely convinced of yourself and acting like you know what you’re saying, and then look suprised when people don’t understand and tell them it’s a very commonly spoken language.
12. To be continued
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My friends and I made up this bogus story that we were making up a language (we called it “shmoto’ but it was jibberish) and we pretended we had different verb tenses, etc. Our teacher believed us! It was really funny.
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continued from comment#15:
13. quote shakespeare. often.
14. hug strangers and then walk away like nothing happened.
15. constantly make references to the sirius/lupin ship.
16. speak in an odd accent
17. change said accent every few minutes
18. develop OCD
19. pretend to pie random people in public
20. actually pie random people in public
21. purchace a hot pink easter-bunny costume. wear it often. jump on people who mention a preference for either dogs or cats.
22.shove AOL discs through the vents of random lockers.
23. um, to be continued….
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Hi. I’d post mine and JS’s wonderful waffle recipe, but I can’t remember where we put it. GAPA’s?
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It was on the March random thread, part two, post 283.
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Our waffles pwn…..
we make them from scratch (no, we don’t grind our own flour, but….)
I should post it…
Let me get the cook-book
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24-Tell people that aliens are attacking the earth
25-Pretend to spontaneously combust during class
26-Enjoy gym (That even freaks me out and i’m usually the one freaking people out!!!)
27-Walk around handing people little blank pieces of paper
28-Pretend to be a mime
29-Tell oblivious people that they have a test today and that you already took it and it was really, really hard.
30-Tell oblivious people that they were supposed to do 50 math questions and that he’s checking for points
31-Start randomly gasping and clutching your throat
32-Walk up to random people in the hallway, and then pretend to see them, gasp, and run away.
33-Scream, panic, and helplessly run around in circles (the best method of dealing with emergencies)
34-To be continued
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Here we go…
Page 241 of the Joy of Cooking
Waffles – makes 6 (unless you make a triple recipe, like we do)
-Sift 1 3/4 cups cake flour (we use whole-wheat)
-Resift with :
-2 teaspoons double-acting baking powder
-1/2 teaspoon salt
-1 tablespoon sugar
Beat Well:
-3 egg yolks
-Beat the egg whites and save them until later
Add:
-2-7 tablespoons melted butter or vegetable oil
-1 1/2 cups milk
Pour wet ingredients into the dry ingredients. Mix well.
Fold egg whites into batter and put into waffle griddle (enough to make 1 waffle, not the whole bowl!)
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21, number 26- eew, it does! i have perfected the art of looking like i participated‼
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35- develop an appetite for unusual foods.
36- attack the perfume salesperson at the mall with your own bottle of perfume. or use windex if you’re feeling particularly eville.
37- make a jack-o-lantern. leave it in your locker. all year long.
38- steal a pad of detention slips. attempt to give your least favourite teacher a detention. [warning: this may cause you to recieve several detentions]
39- 0111011101110010011010010111010001100101001000000110100101101110001000000100000101010011010000110100100101001001
40- sing odd, annoying songs [example: the llama song].
41- use sign language as your sole form of communication.
42- explain to everyone you meet that 42 is the answer to life, the universe, and everything. assure them that you’ve thought about it for a while and it’s a very logical conclusion.
43- wear a red clown nose. claim you were born that way.
44- to be continued.
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How to wash your hair if you have curly hair and want to avoid a life of frizz.
1. Throw out your shampoo or give it to someone with straight(ish) hair.
2. Wet hair thoroughly.
3. Do not put any shampoo in hair. (Not that you could if you wanted to. After all, you’ve disposed of the shampoo in step 1.)
4. Work hair conditioner into hair. Yes, that’s right. Skip the shampoo and go right to the conditioner.
5. Rinse.
That’s it. Revolutionary, no? Farewell shampoo. Hello bouncy curls.
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45-When somebody *coughwisemancough* randomly starts hitting you with a borrowed *coughSTOLENcough* calculator, yell “CHILD ABUSE! CHILD ABUSE!” whilst walking down the hallway.
Actually this was quite funny…conversation-
Danny: wait, you’re older than me
Ebeth: no i’m not
Danny: yeah, how old are you?
Ebeth: 14, you?
Danny: 14. Ok b-days
Ebeth: what’s yours?
Danny (w/rather smug look): June
Ebeth: October. Ooh, what now?
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I will think of a more profound “how to” and post when inspiration strikes.
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#3( I know it’s way up there) but what if someone does their homework backwards. That you’ll have to do it upside down.
How to anoy an easily anoyed brother: Put soap on his tooth brush!
Then put soap in his milk.
Then in his soup.
Then in his sandwhich.
Then in his…you get the point.
If that doesn’t work, put soap on his newly bought computor.(haven’t tried that one yet. Don’t think I will, either, but you may want to. Make sure you gotta lot of money on hand. But the kicks should make up for it.)
And if your sibling live with you peacefully, I pray and worship you with envy. HOW DO YOU DOOO IT! AGGGGGGHHHHHHH! Is it even possible do live peacefully?
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Actually that was quite profound and would no doubt be immensly helpful if i had curly hair. As it is, i have been cursed with thickness instead. Therefore i must wash hair well or mater will soak it in vinegar. (Which does work but smells deeeeeeeeeeesgusting) 
Sry for uncontinued thingy there but i had to go.
As i do now unfortunately. I will finish train of thought some other time. Right now it is leaving the station. All aboard!!!
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26- i’ve done that. i’ve also yelled things such as rape, assult, etc. always fun.
28- it is not possible. i have a sister, she probably has ADHD. ‘t is horrid indeed.
i shall try that with my hair. usually i blow-dry it until it’s so dead it needs to be straight. but it’ll flip/curl by 2:00.
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…my hair couldnt relly decide what texture to be- my bangs are straight, i hav these spiral curl thingies next to each of my ears, and the rest of it is hyper-wavy. it relly sux. so i just straighten it.
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46- Bow to random people in the hallway and call them great ruler
47- talk really really fast in foreign languages
48- meditate in public
49- shake people’s hands vigorously claiming that they are your long lost cousins
50- make a wierd hand gesture and say “I come in peace”
51- insist that you were born on Mars
52- To Be Continued…
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even more ways to freak ppl out:
if u take a vitamin (or any other pill) in the morning- if ur @ a friends house, + they ask what ur taking, tell them its one of ur anti-psychotics. u could also tell them its your last one…hehe, ppl almost always believe that when i tell them
walk around singing random mcr lyrics (“if u marry me, would u bury me…”)
during choir: DANCE
on a nice day, run outside + do the jump in circles thingie that some rockers do, screaming “oh what a beautiful day!” yeah, ive tried this one too. but i was in the courtyard between the gym + the caf @ skool, and lots of ppl probably saw me through the windows in the caf…
tell ppl how much you love tenrecs, llamas, tapiers, etc.
just hav a conversation w/ urself.
…or scream for one reason or another.
hmm…i definitely hav more of these…
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… u could always yell “dont kill me!” or “dont kill me again!” very loud.
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…say that ur not native to this planet; some ppl from ur planet just left you here b/c they were afraid youd take over
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…make yoshi-ish sounds under your breath when angry. this has become a habit of mine.
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Is anybody going to make waffles?
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Hmmm…. How to be a complete and total idiot.
Purplish!!! Blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah (obviously pasting) blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah
ok thats enough.
Gradster(1)
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How to annoy teachers that ask you rhetorical questions:
Answer them. I have never seen an adult ask another adult a rhetorical question. Ever.
How to write an essay on solutions to youth bullying, which don’t exist:
Point out examples of famous adults being nasty, especially those that are apparently role models for children.
What to say to people that tell you everyone has room for improvement:
“Some people have closet space for improvement. I, sir, have an entire rent-controlled three-bedroom condominium overlooking Central Park.”
What to wear to your prom/graduation:
A duct tape dress. Or suit. Or drag. But Devo-style duct tape is better.
How to treat airplane employees:
With extreme caution. Speak in carefully controlled sentences, avoid ASSS (Airline Syllable Stress Syndrome), and refuse all offers of peanuts. “In a case of emergency, sir, your meatloaf may also be used as a floatation device.” *cracks up*
25-Zarking fardwarks-it works! It works! Yay! My hair is so utterly uncontrollable that I have to put five products, in a carefully designed mixture, in it every single morning. And it still looks like an explosion in a mattress factory.
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Rosanne must know what she’s talking about (25). Her hair is awe-inspiring. There’s so much of it that I’m amazed she can even stand up when it’s wet.
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Our teachers ask a lot of rhetorical questions…
There was a teacher who was suspended in our area because she taped a students mouth closed and he had an asthma attack…
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Oh…another “family secret”::::
-We use toilet-paper rolls (the cardboard things inside) for de-tangleness. When we’re not using a short extention cord or something, we coil it up and put it inside of the toilet paper roll.
-Also, my mom uses nail polish to color-code her keys!
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53- Fry eggs on your car while waiting for a stoplight
54- Give the fried eggs to everyone else waiting
55- Bow to random people and say, “O Grand High Poobah Of The Known And Unknown Multiverse, how may I be of service?”
56- Hug random people and call them Daddy
57- Pretend that you are a karate expert and walk around in public wearing a traditional uniform and kick random people while yelling at the top of your lungs playing cards. That’s sure to freak someone out!
58- Hug someone and then tell he/she that they smell like bat barf.
59- Pretend that you are a pro-football player and go around charging everyone.
60- Alternate to 59: Put on a life-sized rhinoceros costume and charge everyone.
61- to be continued
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62- Poop on everything. People will be freaked out by the stench.
63- to be continued
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What is this, again?
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42-My mother steals my nail polish to color-code her knives. She likes German and Japanese steel knives the best. She’s a food stylist.
44:62-Ewwww! That’s disgusting!
This is a thread for sharing Musish tidbits of how to do things Musers would like to know how to do. Hence the title. QED.
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It’s not my fault that I have a random sense of humor. It’s who I am. So meh!
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The GAPA didn’t seem to have a problem with it!! How else would you be reading it?!?! Answer me that!
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OK then. Now that that ordeal is out of the way, here is how you make some good spaghetti:
Materials: 2 pots, spaghetti noodles, tomato sauce (any flavor), stirring utensils (one for each pot unless you want to do alot of rinsing), and a strainer.
Fill 1 pot of water about 2/3 way with water and bring it to a boil. Meanwhile, put about a half cup per person of tomato sauce in the other pot and put on Low/Medium temp.
As soon as the water boils, break in half about a half handful of noodles into the pot per person that plans on eating and put that into the pot. Stir occasionally to keep from sticking to the bottom. When the noodles are soft enough that you can cut the with a fork without even half trying, they’re ready to go into the strainer. Let it drain, and then serve heartily topped with the tomato sauce. Top with parmesan or romano cheese if desired. Enjoy!
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64- Hop around like you are a hot-pink dog-and-cat-ordeal-hating bunny.
65- to be continued
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45: What’s what?
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What does QED mean? Besides the meaning that has to do with quantum mechanics?
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Teh GAPA, if I’m correct, don’t read these things. A computer checks them. I think. But sometimes a comment will get zapped, and the GAPA don’t know why.
Strange sense of humor.
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KGtS (53),
Teh GAPA wouldn’t trust a computer with this job. Rosanne and/or I read everything.
K13 (48),
That doesn’t mean we approve of everything we allow to be posted–just that it doesn’t violate any of our stated rules. When it comes to matters of taste, the blog is largely self-policing. It works fairly well.
Ven (52),
No, not quantum electrodynamics. “Q.E.D.” is what classically trained mathematicians used to write at the end of their proofs. It stands for the Latin phrase “Quod Erat Demonstrandum,” meaning “which was to be proved.” You can read more about it on (what else?) Wikipedia.
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#54: oooooooooh the gapa just misplelld sumthing!!!!!!!!!!! what kind of role model are you? you know how impressionable we kids are!
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emogrl (55):
Re: Robert’s spelling. I think he was simply following King George’s lead.
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That’s teh truht.
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How to take over the world:
Who knows??
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how to cut pieces off a fifteen pound chocolate bunny.
1-find a power source(battery, low voltage, w/ case), wire , and aligator clips.
2-take the power source w/case and attach aligator clips to it if it doesn’t already.
3-Then attach the other ends of the aligator clips to the wire.
4-The thinwire should have been stripped of it’s insulation before step three.
5-Atack bunny
6-Eat the pieces that you have cut off…
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Don’t worry, Sir P. You’re doing just fine so far.
I wish MontgomeryGurl would de-lurk long enough to tell us how she prepares for a debate.
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hmmmm…oh, when I’m bored, I tie knots. I’ve learned to tye a Monkey’s Fist, hangman’s noose [not that I would ever use it], and a lot of decorative knots. Also, they are helpful to kknow when sailing!
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How to survive middle school with your sanity:
Don’t. The very attemp at keeping your sanity in middle school will drive you completely off the wall bonkers.
(Then again, this post was rather pointless, because it is already common knowledge on the Museblog. But whatever.)
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How Not To Be Seen:
Don’t stand up.
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tuh. *mutters under breath* bad-example-setters, nevertheless…
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When I’m nervous, I tear things up (paper, specifically), twist the shreds into string, and tie the strings together. Once, before a speech, I made a string out of napkin that was four and half feet long.
It’s a really good stress reliever; I recommend it.
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(58) Well, for starters, there’s the Mostly Harmless thread. It’s from a really long time ago, but we could try and get it re-started.
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Here’s a how-to that should come in handy:
How to Make Boring Classes and Assignments Interesting
Two words: imagination and theatricality.
Suppose you’re studying a language and have to memorize one of those uninspiring dialogues they love to inflict on you. Make up a story about it in which every sentence becomes laden with deep, poignant meaning. Pull out all the stops and really pile on the emotion.
For example: “Hi, Anita. Like to go to the concert on Saturday?” Bland, humdrum, boring–until you add the emotionally charged back story (ECBS): You know Anita won’t go to the concert with you, and it’s breaking your heart. You’re crazy about her, and for a little while you thought she felt the same way about you. But she really likes your best friend, Carlos, and you know they’re getting together on Saturday. They haven’t told you they’re seeing each other, because they know how much it will hurt you, but they think you might suspect. It’s all bound to come out soon, but meanwhile you get a perverse enjoyment out of leaving them in suspense. Inviting Anita to the concert is just your way of twisting the dagger. In fact, you think you’ll insist–even beg her to come, just to make her squirm. So: “Hi, Anita. Like to…go to the concert on Saturday?” (Being girls, most of you will probably want to reverse the genders; I’m just telling you what works for me.)
Another example: You’re a clerk in a department store, helping a customer pick out a presents for his wife. Typical language-textbook fare. But what the people who wrote the textbook didn’t know is that…
…This guy isn’t just any customer; he’s a notorious gangster. Years ago, he masterminded the killing of your aunt and uncle and a whole bunch of your cousins, then disappeared. He’s in disguise, but you’d know him anywhere. You spotted him the minute he walked into the store, and you called the police. Now you have to stall him until they arrive. You’re desperately afraid that he’ll escape, so you have to do everything possible to avoid raising his suspicions. Now start the dialogue: “Good morning, sir. Can I help you?”
Free-conversation exercises are more challenging but also potentially more fun. In them, the trick is to say the opposite of what the teacher expects–even if it’s so preposterous that nobody could possibly believe it. Justifying your ridiculous assertion will give you great language practice, trust me.
Example:
Teacher (to Student 1): “Is it not beautiful weather outside?”
Student 1: “Yes…it…is…beautiful…weather…outside.”
Teacher (to Student 2): “Is it not beautiful weather outside?”
Student 2: “Yes…it…is…beautiful…weather…outside.”
Teacher (to you): “Is it not beautiful weather outside?”
You: “Oh, I don’t know. Sunny days always make me sad, for some reason. They’re so…merciless. I prefer rain. Rain really speaks to the soul, you know what I mean?”
Teacher: “……..”
I put this principle to work some time ago in a night class in French conversation at the local Alliance Française. At one point, the teacher went around the room asking everybody, “Where do you work?” When my turn came, I said: “I don’t believe in work. It is against my philosophy. I am an anarchist, and a student of life.” She never knew what hit her.
(Most of that was sheer nonsense, by the way. I had a perfectly good job, and I’m not an anarchist. I suppose I am a student of life, though it seems pretentious to put it that way–less so in French, maybe.)
The point of all this is not to make other students consider you an obnoxious git (though they will). In my experience, this contrarian approach stretches your mind more than routine drilling ever would, and makes classes much more interesting–for you, anyway. And that’s what really matters, isn’t it?
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hilarious.
interesting.
no typos, as far as I could see.
impressive.
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67- BRILLIANT! gapa, you should write a guidebook on such matters. i think i’ll try that in espanol class the next time my teacher calls me, “olivia newton john.” or theology class…
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Theology class has possibilities. On the first day of fifth grade, my new teacher (Mr. Munsey, who turned out to be fantastic) called each of us up to the front of the class individually to get to know us. He asked what religion my family was. I said we were Zoroastrians. I don’t know why–it just popped into my head (and I guess I wasn’t sure he was worthy of the truth). Later he asked my parents about it. He figured that it must be true, because otherwise I would never have heard of Zoroastrianism.
As for Olivia Newton-John…hmmm… Why don’t you find the Spanish words to “You’re the One That I Want” (from Grease) and memorize it. Then, the next time he calls you ON-J, sing it to him. That would make his life more surreal.
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67-That would work wonderfully in schools that don’t deal out punishments or Evangelists to contrarian, Musish students. Mr. Coontz, I would love to have you as a teacher.
70-Any teacher who asks a student about religion gets a black mark for me. Forever. You just don’t DO that. It’s personal. And try German-it sounds better.
52-“Whenever he found a new thing about a triangle Pythagoras who had no shame jumped out of his bath and ran through the stretes of athens shouting ‘Q.E.D.’ it is a wonder they never loked him up.”-Geoffrey Willans. Sometimes I actually mean “Quantum electrodynamics,” but usually I revert to Latin like the good little Anglo-Saxon I hate being.
MAKE LIFE MORE XCITING
Memorize the lyrics to Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire”
Kill flies with chopsticks, like Japanese samurai
Dress up like Elvis Costello
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that prophet dude? i have “Thus Spoke Zoroaster” by Strauss on my iPod.
i have to try that…..*googles while grinning maniacally*
everytime someone gets a question wrong in my theology class, our teacher [penguin] yells “BLASPHEMEEEE! BLASPHEMEEEE!”
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QJ (71),
You do have me as a teacher, in a way.
Asking about religion wasn’t as big a deal in those days. My classmates and I were all Protestants anyway (well, except for Mary Beth Mastrucci). But I’ll bet I was the only Zoroastrian wannabe.
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OH MY GOD I JUST HERD THE lLAMA SONG ON TV OOOH THAT WAS SCARRY..I WOULD HAVE SANG ALONG IF WE HADNT BEEN AT SOMEONE ELSES HOUSE….
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We listend to “We didn’t start the fire” is social studies on wednesday…..
Continued form Roberts list in 67-
When you get worksheets tht say stuff like
Insert an adjective, noun, or verb into the folowing sentinces
1-Mary hung a _________ on the wall.
You all know what Im talking about. Get together ith you friends and turn the whole thing into a Mad-lib.
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I deffinately had to google “Zoroastrain” after I read that.
Cool, though. I’ll see if I can try it sometime. I’ll have to modify it, though, because we never do that kind of activity in my school.
It would be especially good with writing/lit and social studie teachers…
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Thanks for the link, Bobby. Here’s the recipe, commentary included. That’s the best part anyway. I’ve added a few notes, here in brackets.
VF: Great.
I don’t know what to have for breakfast. [this happens quite a lot, actually] Do you happen to have any virtual waffles or anything? Oh wait, I should go to the Breakfast On Mars thread for this. Maybe the Martians have waffles. Bye, Bobby!
JS: We might go with our aunt to see Spamalot. Or Wicked. My mom thinks that i wouldnt want to go to Wicked because ive already seen it, and im like noooooooooo I will see it asmany times as possible. Hmmm.. Hey! VF! Lets make waffels! *runs to tell VF of this marvolus discovery*
VF: agrees. But we dont have any vanilla, and the microwave waffles taste awful. Hmmm…..maybe we could make orange-flavored waffles…..
JS: With the orange extract?? And a little milk, to ballence with the not-vanilla….wait that doesnt make any sence…oh well lets add milk anyway. [observe spelling]
VF: okay…hey, dad’s home. Let’s see if he’ll let us make waffles..
JS: Cool! he bought a wireless mouse! Okay lets ask…*ask dad about Waffels* [its WAFFLES already!]
VF: Aww. He said no. But JS is convincing him. Maybe Mom’ll say yes. *asks mom about waffles*
Mom says yes! Yay! See ya later! We’re makin’ waffles!
JS: Oh dear. There isnt any extract at all. We may have o use melted vanilla ice creem…or Choklit sauce… Quick! Any suggestions? GAPA??
Bobby: JS,
I’d go with the ice cream. Most of the ingredients are things that go into waffles anyway.
VF and JS: Mom said no. Soooo…
OUR NEW RECIPE
2 cups Bisquick
1 1/3 cups milk
2 tbs vegetable oil
1 egg
A splash of maple syrup
Several shakes of cinnamon
Two dollops of vanilla yogurt
Stir all ingredients together and then place in waffle maker. Enjoy!
We havent actually cooked them yet……hope they turn out well.I sugest that nobody shoud try these untill we know if they work or not.
VF and JS: They’re great! Maybe a little more cinnamon though….. Serve warm with butter and maple syrup.
There! Everyone make them! But of course, the next day we got some more vanilla extract. So we don’t really use this recipe anymore.
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What was Mary Beth Mastrucci?
I just had a fantasy of that lady googling her name, finding the MuseBlog, reading the first few posts, thinking “Hmm, why are all these kids talking about me?” and deciding we’re a bunch of creepy stalkers or something..
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52- Thanks, I will file that away under my “things that will be useful someday file” Which, incidentally, is also where the quantum electrodynamics meaning is. I’m going to be a physicist when I grow up.
71- I actually have memorized all of (well, most of) the words to “We Didn’t Start the Fire” as my English teacher last year made us all do a report on one of the topics. I chose Stalin. “Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnny Ray…”
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Zoroastrain beliefs are quite spiffy. i just googled it.
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78- who was she??
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Just a girl in my class. Quiet, pleasant, dark-haired, well groomed, Catholic (with names “Mary Elizabeth” and an Italian last name, what else could she have been?).
Oh, and Jamie Sperber and Richard Goor were Jewish.
Some of my school friends have found their names here while googling themselves (the technical term is “ego-surfing”). I haven’t managed to sell any subscriptions that way yet, though.
You can find out more about Zoroastrianism in my Muse article “The End of the World as We Know It” from the December 1999 issue.
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has anyone ever played the game Pharaoh? [it is a PC game……kingdom building…]
or Majesty? [its really olde…]
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that’s creepy…
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What is?
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the fact that you post the names of random school friends.
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…and for no apparent reason…
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“Merely corroborative detail, intended to give artistic verisimilitude to an otherwise bald and unconvincing narrative,” as Pooh-Bah said in The Mikado.
I’m sure they don’t mind. They’re all a thousand years old now, just like me, and have undoubtedly had worse things happen to them.
(Actually, this is just the second time I’ve mentioned classmates here. And the other one was quite pleased.)
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I don’t know what to say…..I don’t have anything interesting to share,,hmmmmm,………
We keep the recipes we use most (cookies, bread) taped to the inside of one of our cupboards so it’s handy…works for us!
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How To Make Cheese Quesadillas When Your Microwave Is Not Only Dead But Also Quite Broken
1. Get that pan you used to make eggs this morning.
2. Put it on the stove, if it is not already there.
3. Turn the burner to “5”.
4. Take the frozen tortillas out of the freezer.
5. Heat them on the pan until the ice has melted off.
6. Turn the burner on low and leave the soggy tortillas to dry off a bit.
7. Forget about them.
8. Fold them in half, add cheese, and hope that they don’t get any more burned than they already are.
9. Go Museblog.
10. Get yelled at by your mom for leaving the kitchen whilst food is cooking, and burning the food.
11. Complain about the broken microwave.
12. Point out that the tortilla in the fridge that are not frozen are in fact moldy.
13. Give up and order pizza. (ha ha ha yeah right)
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When in doubt, add yellow.
When in doubt, go to the library.
When in doubt, sing the llama s-*is pied*
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#75: hey i had to listen to that song in history class 2 yrs ago! i thought it was kewl
#88: ha. our rival high skool here just finished performing the mikado.
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88- ok, then…
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how to anoy the GAPAs and every one else on MuseBlog!
repeat a word over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again
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and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and im having fun
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did you actually type all that of did you just copy and paste?
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copy and pasted
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67-HAHAHA! Amazing GAPA. I’m going to stalk you down and follow you around until you open a skool for musers!!!!
60-She’s off camping. Yes i stalk her. Mwahaha. But Em stalks me. *is scared* lol. Oh VF are you dreamrabbit?
Llama llama!!!
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over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.
thoroughly annoyed?
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very annoying….
if u send emails like that its funny but, coz ppl will actually scroll down to the bottom just in case u’ve said anything at the end.
was told to come here and tell how to do something australian.
but, alas, can’t think of anything so will get bac to this!
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stalking is fun.
this one guy thought my friend liked him so we stalked him for, like, a day to freak him out.
that probably belonged in the “crazy deeds” thread…
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(98) and robert. i also stalk robert.
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39) my good friend has a duck tape dress and she is going to wear it to my birthday party!
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Did she make it?
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102- robert-stalking is also fun.
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Fun for some people. I know there’s a pie out there with my name on it.
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How to teach large words to small children: Backward. That is, last syllables first. For example, if a kid says busgetti, have them say “getty” a couple of time, then have them say “spa.” They’ll put it together in a snap. You’ll be amazed at how phenomenologicalistically well this works!
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no, i don’t actually pie people or anything, just figure out where they live. and gloat about it, but that’s not actually threatening.
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How to make really good choklit cookies:
You need:
2 cups flour
1/2 cup cocoa powder
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 lb semisweet choklit, chopped
4 eggs
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 tsp instant coffe or espresso powder
10 tbs (1 and 1/4 sticks) butter
1 and 1/2 cups packed light brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
What to do:
1) Sift together flour, cocoa, baking powder and salt.
2) Melt the chopped choklit by putting it in a heat proof bowl set over a pan of almost simmering water. When it is smooth, remove from heat.
3) In a small bowl, beat eggs with vanilla and mix in coffee.
4) Beat butter until creamy. Mix in both sugars.
5) Gradually add in egg mixture.
6) Gradually add in choklit mixture.
7) With th mixer at low speed, gradually add dry ingrediants. Don’t over beat.
8) Cover the mixture and allow it to sit at room temp. for about 30 minutes (until it is the consistency of skoopable fudge).
9) Meanwhile, adjust your oven racks to upper and lower middle positions. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper.
If you don’t have parchment paper, just make sure to grease the pans really well.
10) Skoop the dough onto the cookie sheets. It works really well if you use an ice-cream skooper. Place the mounds about 1.5 inches apart.
11) Bake for about 10 minutes, switching the 2 sheets from back to front and top to bottom halfway through. When they are done, the edges will be beginning to harden, but the centers will still be quite soft. Don’t be tempted to bake them longer; they harden up once they’ve cooled.
12) Take them out of the oven and allow them to cool on the sheet for 10 minutes. Then take the off and let them cool to room temp on a rack.
These are VERY choklitty cookies. Perfect survival tools for final exam studying!
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duck tape is cool. thanks for the tip, mimi!
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Indeed, Mimi, thats how my 1 1/2 year old cousin learned the word “table” from me. Now if only there was a simple way to get a kid to learn the word “Matzah”.
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In case anyone’s going to try the “no shampoo” wash for keeping curly hair curly (Comment #25) or has already (Queenie J.?), here’s an additional bit of info:
The first week or so your hair might seem a bit on the confused side — maybe more heavy or more frizzy than usual. But then it calms down.
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…
i have a question about this ‘no shampoo wash for curly hair’. (comment 25)
doesn’t ur hair get really really dirty? ? ?
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lauren: It doesn’t get really dirty. You rub the conditioner into your scalp and through your hair just like you would with shampoo — and strangely enough, your hair gets clean. But, like I mentioned, it takes a little while for your head to adjust to the new routine.
I didn’t figure this out on my own. One of my cousins heard about it from a friend and enlightened me. There’s a book called “Curly Girl” that explains more.
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That’s strange – I guess it is just rubbing suds in your hair that makes it work?
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I have already! I love this idea! Es flamablamablous. Yay yay yay. My hair is considered a landmark by my social circle. Not “meet under the clock” or “meet in the pizzeria” but “meet next to Queenie’s hair.” Ugh.
Trust me, the shampoo-less idea works. And you save money on not having to buy shampoo all the time.
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71- My cosuin has a evaengelical christian tech teacher that asks about kids going to church and Virigin Mary and all that. We’re jewish. I’m glad i go to another school and don’t have him.
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SC, I’ll be sure to make that recipie once passover is over. Yo’re never full on passover: passover food doesn’t fill you up.
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What is it about shampoo that makes curly hair frizzy?
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Methods As To How To Fend Off The Snottiest/Jerkiest/Other Kid In School’s Demeaning Comments!!!
By Gwendolyn
1: Rant about them angrily to your friends who are equally mad at them for either the same reason or some other thing.
2: If the back-stabber/rumor-spreader/other comes up to you, look at them calmly and say, “Well, how are you today?”. They will freak out, stare at you funny, but inwardly be amazed at your serenity.
3: Try and find a major fault in the person (such as how they need to spread rumors to feel as though they are popular and have friends when they could do that on their good traits much more easily) and pity them. You’ll find that your anger subsides.
4: Firmly say to yourself “Okay, this person obviously doesn’t mean you any good, so I’ll just steer clear of them. If they come up my way again, I will face them calmly and non-grudgingly. That makes me the bigger person,”
5: If you still feel anger after all of this, it never hurts to just talk about it some more with your friends and/or family. Just don’t make this person the main object of your speech.
6: Just forget this person and move on.
Gosh, I sound like a psychiatrist. But trust me, these methods can really make you feel better.
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how to: make pb/choklit fudge:
you need:
1/2lb butter [2 sticks]
1/2lb peanut butter [1 cup]
lb powdered confectionary sugar
3tbsp powdered cocoa [note that the powdered cocoa does not taste choklity] [this is only optional; do not use if making pb fudge]
tsp vanilla
cup chopped walnuts or peanuts [also optional]
procedure:
melt butter over low heat.
add pb.
mix until both are melted & smooth
whilst still on low heat, add the sugar, cocoa [optional], and vanilla, and mix until smooth.
remove from stove and add nuts if that’s what you’re doing.
put into buttered pan
refridgerate
eat and enjoy!
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Three Ways to Cope with Embarrassing, Awkward, or Otherwise Stressful Situations:
(1) Pretend you’re floating 10 feet overhead, looking down. Sometimes an imaginary out-of-body experience can help put things into perspective. Make it 20 or 30 feet in extreme cases. In extremely extreme cases, don’t look down.
(2) Practice disglamour.
(3) Think about what a good story this will be to tell later if you survive it. If it doesn’t seem like a good story now, think about ways to make it one.
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Mr. Coontz, you have inspired me! I was reading your guide on how to survive Awkward Situations and I was thinking about the weird stinky cheese thing that somehow formed in my grandmothers coffee maker. Now I know what to write about for my humor writing paper thing! Yes, ordinarily that would be the best assignment I could wish for, but the only humorous events I could recall would be about a paragragh long and even embelishments wouldn’t stretch them beyond two. Thank you! I’ll have to try that no shampoo thing. My hair is SUPER frizzy and considered a landmark (similar to what Queen J. described) among my friends. Now prehaps it will be a bit easier to comb out. Oh, and my mom has reported some beneficial effects of adding a little water to shampoo, if you use it, but I’m not sure what effects she was speaking of.
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i can’t think of what effects she’s speaking of either seeing as when u put the shampoo in ur hair it gets wet then anyway…
another tip for frizzy hair: get lots of it cut off. a recent experiment when my hair went from mid-back length to chin length with a lot of layering has discovered that in some cases, thankfully mine, this can help. yay! only problem now being that its too short to put up and so the wind blows it and makes it frizzy again. it seems to be the viscious cycle of frizziness of my hair.
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hehe…
how to take care of very dry/hyper wavy/ super thick/ dyed hair
1. wash it every 4 days or so
ok yeah im gross, but no one has ever noticed! i just use pantene moisture renewal when i wash my hair, + then i use this moisture gel stuff. and then i use an ionic blow dryer, + a ceramic flat iron.
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Twenty Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “In”.
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. Finish all your sentences with “In accordance with the Prophecy.”
7. Don’t use any punctuation.
8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
9. Specify that your drive-through order is “To Go.”
10. Sing along at the opera.
11. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15. When the money comes out the ATM, scream, “I WON!, I WON!”
16. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, “Run for your lives, They’re loose!!”
– I got these from an email forward. I don’t know where the other, nifty 4 of them have got to….
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HOW TO HAVE A GOOD TIME:
Curl up on couch with a box of chocolates, a pile of Muse mags, a book on bonobos (ten stars) and chill.
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How To Dance (Method 1):
1. Plant feet on floor.
2. Dance, bending from waist and moving arms.
3. Swirl hair by moving head back and forth and from side to side. DO NOT TWIST HEAD. This looks too metal. If you are at a metal concert, twist your head until your eyes bubble.
4. Don’t move your feet. You couldn’t anyway-I had them planted in step 1.
5. Move shoulders up and down.
How To Dance (Method 2):
1. Kneel on floor.
2. Hold arms up, hands as if snapping. Don’t snap.
3. Twist head so hair flies around.
4. Move waist.
5. Place forehead on floor.
More later.
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I wash my hair every day, or every other day, but I wash it at night, and I don’t blow dry it, so I go to sleep with wet hair, and it works!
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128- or just jump around like crazy. that works, too.
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126: 12 and 13 are missing, too.
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when i dance i usually just jump in circles. its fun.
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How To Dance (Method 3):
1.Copy someone who looks like they know what they’re doing.
How To Dance (Method 4):
1. Put one foot in front of the other.
2. Twist hips.
3. Twist waist.
4. Blow kiss at friend.
5. Giggle. Uncontrollably.
How to Dance (Method 5):
1. Put arms high above head.
2. Wave.
3. Move a little.
4. Stop moving.
5. Repeat.
How To Dance (Sweet Melpomene Method):
1. Jump around like crazy. {see post 131}
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126, you realise how offensive thatis to people with acual propechy? I know lots of people with propechy, and they would be too pleased about this, either.
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fun stuff::::
When on a class trip that involves a ferry, ask your teacher (while standing next to the railing) what they would do if you jumped off.
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Purple Panda (115, 119, 129),
Back on the important topic of hair care:
Shampoo seems to dry out curly hair. That’s what makes it frizz. There might be more to it than that. I’ll check the “Curly Girl” book and report back.
You asked: Why does hair conditioner clean your hair? I’ll have to look that up too. But I don’t think it’s the suds because I sometimes use a totally non-sudsy conditioner and it still works.
Emogrl (125),
I know what you mean. Back when I used shampoo, my hair looked best a few days after I’d washed it. Now that I skip the shampoo it looks good right away.
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How to confuse people:
1) Make stuff up.
Like “once when I was driving really slowly near Niagra Falls a zebra came up really close to my car and I opened to widow an petted it and it had really coarse fur”
If you say it earnestly enough, its surprosing how many people believe you.
To be continued…
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my hair is not curly, but it still manages to be a mess. some day i will cut it, i promise.
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My hair is about shoulder-length
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One sure-fire way to make people confused is to accuse them of stealing your fondue pot. Tell them that without it u r deprived of cheesy goodness.
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My hair is straight and blonde and grows too fast. It is halfway down my upper arms. And a mess. I am turning into cousin it.
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Last August, I cut my hair REALLY short…and choppy. Now it’s a little past my chin, and i got bangs less than a month ago. It doesn’t like growing.
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You know in Math, if there is something in parenthesis,,you say “The Quantity of…..”
Well…what I do for anything in parenthesis, even if it isn’t in math, I say “the quantity of..” it is really funny! (and it annoys people)
^ what I would say for that, is “The Quantity of and it annoys people”!!!
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how to get a dragon across a stream in seven easy steps:
(shamelessly copied off of chasing the sunset)
1. secure a rope around a branch, use this to make a winch system to put the dragon in the air
2. tie the rope to the dragon
3. lift the dragon
4. tie the other end of the rope to a tree on either side of the stream. using two ropes and a person on either side, pull the dragon across…
5. realize that your first step should have been to tie up the pixie
6. panic
7. take a bath.
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How to make a student turrn in his math homework:
Invent the Math Homework Retreival System (Thanks, Mr. Kramer)
It is a 2×4 with the words: “Math Homework Retrieval system, results guaranteed”
ahh….I can’t spell today
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if you want to act insane, or just be it, walk around in circles laughing to yurself. its a bad good habit i have.
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How to Get Good Grades on Math Homework
(1) Sharp pencils.
(2) Straight lines (6″ rulers are handy for this).
(3) Copious use of graph paper.
(4) Work problems on scratch paper before copying them onto the sheet you turn in.
(5) Show every step. The more “equals” signs, the better.
Anyone else have any other tips?
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147- I always lose credit for not showing the steps; I just write the anwser. I don’t actually do the steps.
Once, the teacher specifically instructed us to do our work on scrap paper, then throw the paper away. Then, when I got that test back, I lost points for not showing the work. Which really didn’t make sense. Hello, scrap paper!
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On Math tests, I copy the problem onto a piece of scrap paper, and I work the whole thing there – but the annoying thing is
I COPY IT WRONG!!!!!!!!!!
sometimes.
and so when I check my test, I check the work that I did on the scrap paper (which was using the wrong problem)
so…my word of wisdom:
CHECK YOUR PROBLEM WITH THE TEST TO MAKE SURE YOU COPIED IT DOWN RIGHT!!!!!!
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i dont care if the teachers want to make sure ur not cheating. having to show ur work is stupid
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Post 25 and others – Thanks for the advice! I just washed my hair, too bad. I’ll try it next time. My hair is always majorly fuzzed – people call it “the bush”, lol.
54 – I had a teacher one year who was obsessed with Q.E.D. He made us use it for just about everything!
67, 70, 71 – I agree, you would be a wonderful teacher! It’s too bad you don’t live in Kentucky; there are a lot of Museblogger-ish people at my school (myself included) who would appreciate your teaching.
98 – A school just for Musers! Now that’s a brilliant idea!
147 – My teachers have always emphasized never skip steps. Even if you do it all on scratch paper and recopy it, copy every single thing you did, whether the step is neccessary or not. If you get a problem wrong, you’ll still get partial credit for having all of your steps written (usually, anyway).
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151 – my teacher gives partial credit, too.
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The purpose of homework isn’t to get the right answer. It’s to show that you understand how to get the answer. It’s the same way with papers that you write. You probably aren’t saying anything that the teacher doesn’t know; you’re showing what you know and how you learned it. It’s a completely different type of writing from journalism, fiction, or anything else you’ll ever do outside an academic environment.
That reminds me of a How-To that’s been buzzing around inside my head for a while…
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How NOT to Use a Thesaurus
To find a more impressive-sounding word for a word you already know: that’s how not to use a thesaurus.
A thesaurus contains lists of synonyms. In school you may have learned that synonyms are words that have the same meaning. Not true! In English, very few words mean exactly the same thing. What a thesaurus actually provides is lists of words with similar meanings. If you already know the word that says what you’re trying to say, and then go to the list and pick another word just because it’s longer or comes from a Latin root or something, chances are you’ll wind up with a word that doesn’t say exactly what you’re trying to say. As Mark Twain once remarked, “The difference between the best word and the second-best word is the difference between lightning and a lightning-bug.”
Here’s what I’ve found to be the right way to use a thesaurus:
(1) When you’ve got a word that isn’t quite right but can’t think of the right one, the thesaurus can help you hit the bullseye. Often (more often than not, in my experience) that word will end up being less impressive than the one that first came to mind. Shorter, plainer, more concrete words are usually stronger and more expressive than grand-sounding ones that get fuzzy around the edges.
(2) When you’re writing a poem or song and can’t make the words fit the meter, a thesaurus can give you more possibilities to play with. (I find it’s more useful than a rhyming dictionary, though I love them, too.)
(3) Just browsing through a thesaurus can give you a sense of how many different words there are and how many subtle differences in meaning they can convey. It’s like those color-palette menus in graphics programs on the computer. (For this purpose you need an old-fashioned thesaurus, organized by subject and indexed by numbers like the ones used to categorize library books. A dictionary-style thesaurus won’t do the job. And it has to be a book; the online ones with search engines are too constraining.)
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I have an olde thesaurus and I love it. I also have a rhyming dictionary. I use them bothe regularly.
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155: Me too. And it really annoys me when I know the perfect word, but it doesn’t come to mind and all i can think of is a different word that doesn’t fit at all.
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156- I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS!
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I was climbing down a tree and hit my tail bone and surrounding muscles REALLY HARD on a fence post. now I can barely walk….does anybody have any suggestions other than ice and tylenol?
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I’m really bad about copying down problems right. First of all, you have to understand my math book. Each lesson has a Set 1, a Set 2, a Set 3, and a Set 4. Set 2 and 3 are nearly identical sets of problems. For each problem in one set, there is a problem in the other set that is of the same type. So I’m supposed to be doing Set 3, right? But I look down at the book and see the similar problem in Set 2 and mistake it for the one I was supposed to be doing. I do the Set 2 problem and come back to check my answers against the Set 3 problem. Another thing you have to get is that the problems are set up with a number heading and then letters for the problems that are like each other, so one ‘problem’ could really be ten or more. I’m wondering how in the world I got these answers that make absolutely no sense, but, hey, at least I caught it, right? I fix them according to Set 3 and then, because my math reasoning hasn’t seemed to be very faithful that day, I check it again. Against Set 2. Weird answers again. Where are these coming from? This time when I fix it, I get the same answers that I had at first, so I figure that I must have done something wrong the second time. No matter, I figure, now I’m sure I have them right. I hand in my paper and guess what? Yeah, I got the whole problem wrong after all that work becuase I had actually done Set 2. So I had to do it a final time in Set 3, making my grand total four times that I had to work the problem. So there’s a completely long and boring math story from my long and boring life. Okay, not long, but boring.
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158- ow. go to a doctor if its really bad coz if u hurt ur bac there and it doesn’t get fixed it will hurt forever! i no from experience! apart from that…i have nothing…eat lots of choc to take ur mind from the pain!
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My mom looked at it…it’s just badly bruised…and it will have to heal on its own 
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yesterday’s_kinked_moose,
I’m so glad the no-shampoo lifestyle is agreeing with you! (ykm mentioned this in passing over in the hot topics thread.)
You’ve inspired me to share a few more observations on the curly hair/no-shampoo approach:
Some people (me, for instance) find that skipping shampoo altogether works best. But others find that an occasional shampoo every once in a while keeps their hair from getting too weighed down by the dreaded “conditioner buildup.” When my hair gets that way I add some lemon juice to my conditioner and wash my hair with the resulting combo. I only do the lemon juice combo once in a while — just every six months or so, when I notice my hair seems unusually droopy.
End of today’s curly hair-care moment.
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My turn now!
How to Make Robert’s Eat-Anytime Breakfast Glop
I could live on this stuff. Sometimes I do.
(1) Pour two containers of unflavored yogurt (tubs? cartons? you know, those big pail-shaped plastic things) into a large bowl.
(2) Dilute with about a pint of water, to a kefir-like consistency.
(3) Add 1/4 cup of Splenda. (Sugar would surely work, but I’m saving my calories for other things.)
(4) Add seedless grapes, sliced in half–preferably a mixture of red and green. I’ve never measured them; I just keep slicing them in until they look right.
(5) Slice in one or two bananas, depending on size.
(6) Stir, adding more water if necessary. Keep in the refrigerator.
Result: enough wonderful glop to last me a week with a little self-restraint.
Sometimes I’ll add strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, or–my favorite–dried Blenheim apricots (NOT the Mediterranean/Turkish kind). Crunchy freeze-dried apricot cubes also work well if you leave them overnight; I sometimes find them at “boutique” grocery stores like Whole Foods.
A few tips and quirks:
For step 1, I like whole-fat yogurt. (If I don’t get a healthy dose of fat early in the day, I find a way to overcompensate later. At least, that’s this week’s hypothesis.)
In step 2, I swish the water around in the yogurt containers and pour it back and forth a little, chemist-style, to capture some of the yogurt film clinging to the sides.
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ah… l love thesauruses. l never use a thesaurus to find better words, but l am always using one to find a word i’ve forgotten. l rely on my already extensive vocabulary to get that intelligent-sounding style, but l never memorize words, so l’m always forgetting them, and having to use the thesaurus. Sometimes l know a word, but forget the meaning.
does my post look sort-of wrong? l’m using lower-case l instead of capital I. can you tell the difference?
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Actually no, Em, it wasn’t that noticable becuase you had almost all subject-openers (yourself being the subject.) Tsk Tsk! My mom would get on your case about that. Isn’t it weird that we capitalize ‘I’, but not ‘you’? Wouldn’t you say that seems rather selfish? Maybe i’ll stop. At least on the museblog. I doubt if that would go over too well in, say, a book club paper. Lemon juice in my conditioner? Hmm. Just curious, was that from that frizz book you mentioned or did you just say to yourself one day, “I wonder what would happen if i put lemon juice on my hair?” You know, Mr. Coontz, that’s exactly the kind of thing that i would imagine you eating. Actually, it sounds like something my dad would eat. Prehaps i’ll try it out. I don’t think we have any unflavored yogurt, and certainly not two cartons of it, but flavored would work, right?
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doesn’t lemon juice bleach your hair?
Bobby – that sounds really good! We have tons of yogurt at our house and eat it by the bathtub! I can’t have grapes, though. I’ll have to find some other fruit to add.
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Nothing could bleach Rosanne’s hair. It’s beyond dark.
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Lemon juice doesn’t bleach my hair. It was in my old shampoo and my hair just stayed the same.
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I don’t get why people bleach their hair. Dark hair is SO much cooler anyway. Especially brown. Squee! (says the decidedly brown-haired girl who hates bleached hair and thinks it looks WEEEEIRD)
GAPA RC-that’s like my dad’s smoothies. Yum. 
Minus the water i think. or maybe not. i’m not exactly sure how he makes them…
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Completely, Ebeth. But why do you say “Squee”? Just curious if it’s the same “squee” my friends use. Theirs i The Cry of the Fangirl. It’s scary. What about yours?
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“Theirs i”? Obviously, I meant “Theirs is“…
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No, not shrieky. Just “squee”. In an odd voice. Sort of cartoon character ish. Squeeeee!
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Okay, thanks. Whew…
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I tried the glop. It was very good, although I suggest the addition of granola/and or smashed up granola bars. If you have granola bars, you could even dip them in the glop. But hey, the original is great too.
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Glad you liked it! I’ll keep my crunchiness on the side, though, thanks.
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I tried it…although I think I put in a little too much water…so I drank it instead! (I chewed the bananas when they came through, but they don’t require much chewing)
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U know what’s really scarry? Di-hydrogen Monoxide is getting into watter supplies!
Tricked U 
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I’ve learned so much from this thread and I haven’t contributed at all. I’m such a free-loader.
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(163 Robert) I used to drink stuff kind of like that every day after skool. Then I switched to living off of dried apples and choklit chip cookies. But I think I like this idea much better. I will make myself a batch. We have a billion bags of frozen berries that my mom defrosts to put on her cereal, so those might make a nice addition.
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frozen berries….yum. I used to eat frozen grapes by the pound. but now I can’t have them anymore. *boo hoo*
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177: If that is a public school, that is against the first amendment. You could take that against him in the supreme court.
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how?
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is anyone going to post on this thread anymore?
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I MEANT 117. If he prostheletizes his religion in a public school, it violates your freedom of -or from- religion
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I’ve just started a new How-Tos thread, so this one is closing down. Thanks for your fine contributions. Now…onward and upward!
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