Pie War and/or Peace, Part 3
Once again, the blog finds itself at a crossroads.
Date: April 21, 2006
Categories: Random craziness
Friday, 29 March 2024
Life, the universe, pies, hot-pink bunnies, world domination, and everything
Once again, the blog finds itself at a crossroads.
Date: April 21, 2006
Categories: Random craziness
*deep breath*
*piano solo starts*
JUST A SMALL TOWN GIRL
LIVIN IN A LONELY WORLD
TOOK THE MIDNIGHT TRAIN
GOIN ANEEEE-WHERE
JUST A CITY BOY
BORN AND RAISED IN SOUTH DETROIT
TOOK THE MIDNIGHT TRAIN
GOIN ANEEEE-WH-
*is pied*
zoiks, I hope that gets fist post.
*pies someone randomly*
geesh. i still don’t have that 2nd part of wd.
NEUTRALS ROCK!!!!!!!!
Short History of The Great Pie War:
First the GAPA made a Chuck Norris thread.
Then Em decided to turn it into a Watershipdown thread, because according to her, WD own CN fifty million times over. (Thats not a direct quote.)
Then there was a lot of arguing.
Then Otzi officially declared war.
So the first two parties were the Chuck Norrisers (later shortened to Norissers) and the Watershipdowners
to be cont…
Purple, anyomore comments like that and you’ll be in a correctional facility.
I tihnk we should add “All non inforamative kiddie mags” to our list. No one reads them, and they just take away from mags like “Ranger Rick”, “Ask” or “Muse”.
A Short History Of the Pie War, cont.
In post 88, Otzi officially declared war.
Then on post 92, Jedi Master Vader threw the first pie.
On post 95, the first third party was formed by Copper Bigfoot (now A scrumpdillyicious Copper Yeti), the Neutrals. They later dominated the war.
Other parties followed, including the Norris Haters, the Watership Down haters, the Pie War Lovers, the Jadestone Party, the People Who are Just Kind of in the thick of it and the Status Undeclareds. Some of these dissolved pretty quickly, others remained.
The second thread brought much technonlogical advancement, mostly on Gwenodlyn’s part. There was also my discovery of The Pie Mine, FantasyFan’s theft of the Neutral’s catapault, Queenie building her fortress, Darth Yoda starting up the University.
The Pie War ended with out an official resolution and with some controversy (PIEGIRL had just been about to launch her secrey weapon).
In an attempt to re-build civilaztion, various musebloggers set up the Muse Academy, the MUSEum, the grocery shop, as well as improving and advancing Darth Yoda’s university.
We are now trying to decide who to declare the next Pie War on, or whether to do it at all.
Sorry about any mistake, inaccuracies of gaping holes in that.
Any mags that advertise with annoying ads, like beer.
The Pie War Begins
and
The Pie War Continues and ends, at least for now
it does! it pwns all! all of them! die fiends!
We really must attack Disney Adventures.
*finds a high ladderback chair with red velvet cushion. scoots chair in front of table with dark blue silk table cloth with silver moons and gold stars. puts pink-hued crystal ball on table. goes behind changing screen and reappears in a lavendar silk turban with big topaz in middle, a flowy, glittery sari-looking thing with many different green tints, and lots of necklaces. that was very descriptive*
I, Madame Gwendolyn of the Eastern Seas’ Oracle, forsee another great war… with more, many more pies… between girls and boys… with more inventions and cream-filled doom!!!
*passes out from great clairvoyant burden*
Bless you Skipper, for putting me down in pie history!
I took DYs abandoned pie catapult. (note the abandoned) I STOLE the invention. big difference. these 2 items belonged to 2 radically diferrent people and are still in my possesion.. and, actually, i was there a bit early compared to other pie war lovers.
There are more girls here than boys. And besides, there would be no “Neutral” party if we did that.
Well, I suppose I’m either a Neutral or Just Kind of in the Thick of It. Anyway, if we start another war, count me in.
*glances meaningfully at timer and oven nearby*
A few minutes and then my banana cream pie will be baked and ready for throwing should we restart the war soon!
Hey Boys vs Girls!
I probably should be in a correctional facility
NO!!! FOR THE MUSES SAKES, NO BOYS VS GIRLS!!!! THERE ARE WAY COOLER, LESS SENSITIVE, MORE ORIGINAL THINGS TO FIGHT ABOUT!!!!
Hello, sir.
I have come out of the CIC, as it is being remodeled, and am now touring the university. Your efforts are commendable. What are we doing first to besiege Highlights magazine?
ugg. sorry about that. I didn’t mean to flame so much. But I still think girls vs boys is a bad idea. Sorry, Gwen. I still think you’re the coolest pie-tech genius in the world.
Possible contrevesrial topics to fight about:
David Bowie- frood or freak?
Harry Potter vs LOTR (I’m actually not a huge fan of this idea but I thought I’d throw it in there)
Martha Stuart
Sleep Number goes up against Thermapeutic mattresses (just kidding)
Various young adult fantasy writers- which is the best?
Lemony Snicket books- darkly funny and clever, or depressing, boring and predicatable?
Rap vs Country- which do we dislke more (sorry to those who like one of those)?
Which is the best state?(AZ!!!!!!!)
Anime and manga- “I’m so obsessed, [insert manga characeter name here] is such a bad a*s”, or “I hate those sickly large eyes with a bloody passion”?
None of these are that great, but Im sure we can find something. Or we can…*cringes* …. just try and rebuild civilization instead?
THATS IT!!! WE CAN HAVE A PIE WAR ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT WE SHOULD HAVE A PIE WAR!! BRILIIANT!
just kidding. I want a pie war.
Oh and thanks for the corrections on my Pie War Historie, FF.
NO boys vs. girls. how immature.
NO NO NO!!! We wage war on Highlights for Children, not each other! Remnember what GAPA said… I quote….
“And next time you go to war, how about declaring it on someone else? Such as…hm…well, Cricket, maybe. Or Highlights for Children.”
Not againe. *Hides*
hey, i invented the pie catapult! i made it out of an old cattlepolt from monty python! all by myself!
HOW woould be fight about Martha Stewart?
I KNOW! STEWART vs. LETTERMAN!!!
Sorry about the catapault mistake- that was the one I didn’t check my facts on. pie me, please.
Yeah, I like the idea of declaring war on Highlights for children. The only reason I suggested having another internal Pie War is that that way the other side can actually fight back. But hey, this we we’re guaranteed to win! MWAhahahahahahahahaa
I’m finding trebuchet plans online [jn actuality, not just pie-war universe ]. I’m going to build one. I convinced mi padre ayudar me.
SO LETS WAR ON HIGHLIGHTS FOR CHILDREN!!!!!!
GET AS MANY CONVERTS AS POSSIBLE
okay! highlights! *pies highlights* we need lots more weapons. Flaming Greek fire pies!
Ok. Death to the boy vs. girls thing. I was just kidding around, and now people are getting all steamed up. Aaargh. If you guys actually end up having that war, you all know that the neutrals and I will put a stop to it immediately. But really, I can tell that it’s coming. Really anyone can. Despite the immaturity of the whole affair.
If you declare a war on manga, I will hang all of you by your second-smallest little toes from chains in my laboratory. I hate TV manga just as much as you guys, but I like the book stuff with the whole right-to-left thing. That is actually pretty schweet.
Well, we have to pie somthing. Ishtar(my new polar bear) is getine antsy. He wants a pie war.
-For the use of the first to claim it, I present the Slingshot of Sickly Stomachs! This is a very portable, lightweight weapon that is ideal for rapid-fire attacks on other magazines. Extremely durable, with its own targeting precision system. Extra elastic-ky band for long distance assault. Will respond to any type of pie, but seems to excell in performance when loaded with banana blueberry whipped creme pies.
*rides around on Minoana attacking Highlights staff. one mean editor steals my spear, but Borealia buries her in cherry pies, leaving me to claim the spear and use it on the Goofus and Gallant cartoonist*
One more thing… I got a witch part in Macbeth yesterday! YAY!!!!!!!!
pie pie pie pie pie pie!!!!!
I claim the Slingshot of Sickly Stomachs!
*uses the slingshot to pie the Highlights editors with banana blueberry whipped creme pies*
That’s a good weapon. *hangs it next to Batle-ax and wanders off wondering who to pie next*
I have just created a new InPie-a-trable Force Shield that protects my entire personage and gives me a spooky, totally awesome glow. It is purely for my own protection. A version of the IPFS covers my citadel as well. Musers will appreciate that the shield generates its own controllable Somebody Else’s Problem field, invisibility option, and Chronosynclastic Infundibulum drive. 5chw33t!
My Ballistic Ballista can also launch key lime pies at a rate of 30 per minute. That’s one every two seconds. So watch out! *fingers ballista lovingly*
And now the national beverage, ginger beer and Ting drunk from the skulls of our enemies. It has a very heady flavor. *grins evilly*
32- My point exactly! Manga is so controversial it would make an excellent war…. but enough with that.
WAR ON HIGHLIGHTS!!!!!
Darn, that slingshot was really cool…*plots to steal slingshot from Jadestone* Just kidding. No stealing from fellow Neutrals, I know.
*says “speak” to Tyana*
*Tyana launches cheesie pies at Highlights*
*cheese and crust splatter everywhere, enveloping Highlights in a sticky mess*
I had forgotten how much fun this was.
Did you guys enjoy my beautifull vocal solo at the beginning of the thread?
It was…indescribable.
*stands by Gwendolyn*
The neutrals WILL stop the war. Its immature. Most of us are in or past pueberty from what I can tell (Muse is for 10 and up), this is nonsense.
Thank you, Robert. I choose to take that as a compliment.
If we REALLY need to start a war, do Leno vs. Letterman, or FOX vs. NBC.
43- Copper Yeti what are you talking about?
If it is not an internal pie war, we’re all for it!
You know what I’m talking about, Plotmey :P. You’re just trying to put me on.
Alrighty everyone! For the totally awesome Copper Yeti and the brilliant Skipper, I present two NEW weapons to stop the Girl vs. Boy war and/ or any of the magazines we hate.
– Yeti, you get the Battering Ram of Boysenberry! This is a large, cylindrical weapon made entirely out of petrified boysenberry pies. You’ve probably already guessed its uses, but it also has a ton of cool features! Like how there’s a giant, perpetually fresh boysenberry pie inside that can be activated at your voice command to bring down the fortress/ Highlights magazine office if you are having trouble doing it the old-fashioned way.
-Skipper, you get the Pistol of (insert flavor here) Pie! This is aan extremely cool weapon that can change the flavors of the same pie in a millisecond. Think of it this way: if you are pieing one of the People magazine reporters, and you launched a blueberry, but you find out they’re allergic to rasberry, all you have to do is shout “Rasberry Metamorphose!” in the pie’s general direction, and it will become a rasberry by re-assembling the chemical components that make it blueberry into the chemical components that make it rasberry.
we should do a war on Highlights
15-ewwwwwwwwww
WAR ON HIGHLIGHTS!!!
*uses battering ram to pie Plotmey*
51- Whats gross about it?
*lickes lips* hmmm not bad but I have the Perpetual Pie Machien! It is hamster powered. With this I sha*gets pied by Yeti*
WAR ON HIGHLIGHTS!
DOWN WITH PEOPLE!
Okay, war on Highlights it is!!!
*pies all of the old issues lurking around in the basement*
Thanks, Gwen! Pure genius.
*shoots apricot pie at highlights*
*switches to raspberry, then blueberry, then balckberry, then pecan, then choklit, then lemon, then key lime, then pumpkin, then apple, then peach, then banana cream*
….Sweet….
On the back of a Highlights magazine, they have a ‘what’s wrong’ picture with people doing strange things. They should put a persion reading Highlights!
for those of you that want a boy vs. girl pie war, I want to remind you of something about Muse-age people
You are my everlasting
You are my everlasting love
Hearts go astray
Leaving hurt when they go
You went away just when I needed you so
Finding your way
You come back on to me
I’m gonna stay loving you endlessly
Open up your eyes
Then you realize
Here I stand with my
Everlasting love
Need you by my side
There’s no need to hide
Never be denied
Everlasting love
From the very start
Open up your heart
Be a lasting part of
Everlasting love
You are my everlasting
You are my everlasting love
Look in my eyes
See my love burning strong
No more goodbyes
In your arms I belong
Our time has come
All my dreams have come true
Two hearts as one
Loving me loving you.
Open up your eyes
Then you realize
Here I stand with my
Everlasting love
Need you by my side
There’s no need to hide
Never be denied
Everlasting love
From the very start
Open up your heart
Be a lasting part of
Everlasting love
Yes, and to add to Copper’s excellent point,
There are places I’ll remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I’ve loved them all
But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
Though I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
In my life I love you more
Actually, I have no idea what her point was but I just felt like posting that so there you go.
i wanna be in the war
*starts throwing cherry golf ball pies*
is this war boys vs. girls cuz if it is i know whos gonna win (girls of course!)
i want KoKopelli on my team. (the REAL one, not any of the blogging ones)
wait no this isnt a game. a correction to #62- i want KoKopelli on my side
I think we’re all on the same side, and the Girls-vs-Boys thing was a joke.
Musers vs Idiotic Mags.
Why don’t we fight a pie war just for the pie war’s sake? I mean, at the end of the CN-WD-PW thread no one really cared about CN or WD anymore. We were just pieing for the fun of it. So why don’t we choose teams, choose weapons, and get going? Or someone could just randomly assault some topic or other, and the Blog would break into war, with a For side and Against side.
My point was, most of us are at the age where we don’t think the opposite gender is gross and get called “Gay” if we don’t like the opposite gender.
65 – ditto
Oh, I get it now. *laughs at self*
I agree with VF!!!!! I say everyone who wants to start a pie war should unit now and gain up on all the people still trying to decide what to do!!!!
PIE WAR ADDICTS UNITE!!!!!!!!!
*puts on beserker face*
*goes beserk*
HWAAAAAATHChAA!!
*shoots pies every where with Pistol of (insert flavor here) Pie*
OK, everybody, Letterman vs. Leno, take your sides
*Goes over to Letterman side*
Lettermaners:
Copper Yeti
Lenoers:
Neutrals:
I mjust realised: Most Musebloggers dont stay up late enough to watch either.
Therefore:
MCDONALDS VS. KFC!!!!!!!!!!!!
i know its us againts Bush- of course, we’ll win
im in the pie war. pie all neutrals. and pie Bobs Your Uncle, my nasty twin brother who i hate
Sibling riavalry stays off the blog.
Of course, we have to tewll gwyndoln that, too.
*CHicken pot pies BYU*
Go MCY (74)
he HATES chiken pot pie, but only if it has peas in it
NEUTRALS!
Howabout these for teams:
HBP Lovers
Mr. Joe Lovers
Mr. Joe Haters
People Who Just Want to Throw Pies
Neutrals
Ok… pick you sides or make your own, folks.
#20
Kill All Highlights mags!!!!!!
verily evilily mustilly killilly.
Highlights for Children, you mean
*Rasberry pies HFC*
And accually, I just bought in an auction certifate for 5 free pies! YAYAYAY!
Boys that are afraid of Queenie
Ptolemy
Still neutrals…
Procrastintors
Skipper
Lemon Curry
Tyana
Guillaume
Go Procrastinators go!!
*throws pies randomly*
Add me to procrastinators.
*thinks about throwing pie, decides to do it later, skips off*
Anti-Bushers
Purple Panda
Taiwan Hippo Fan
Everyone else who’s smart enough to open their eyes
I am a person who Just Wants to Throw Pies! Yay! Or maybe just a Neutral if there aren’t any other people on the just-want-to-throw-pies side. But hey, if we still need a reason for war, how about if all of the musebloggers unite in a pie war against the Pussycat Dolls???
*holds a pie threateningly pointed in the PCD lead singer’s direction, ready to throw immediately it if approved*
I’m not a fan of Bush, but could we please keep polotics out of this?
Procrastinators
Skipper
All of Skipper’s Familiars
All of Skipper’s Alter Egos
Ebeth
I’m also a Neutral. Neutrals pwn!
IN AM AN ANTI BUSHER.
So this is a war between Anti-Bushers and Procrastinators???
I’m with the skipper
*Goes to HPB lovers side*
Urgh.
are ya’ll goin’ to sign up or what? and this is fer the private class to hit people with pies. meet my asstiant Kokopelli (sorry if i spelled your name wrong Koko) Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!
People Who Just Want To Throw Pies
That’s me.
*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie
Warface:
GAPA: No problem. I’ll stick to kokopelli #13 then.
BUSH IS AN IDIOT. AND ALL OF HIS ADMINISTRATION. IMPEACH THEM.
i am a pie war lover. not someone who just wants to throw pies, i have been a pie war lover since the very beginning & even created that catagory by saying :i love pie wars. im not about to change my affiliation and was the only non neutral standing at the end, despite reports to the contrary. i have all my weapons and they are all equiped and ready to go. but i wont change it .
**cocks m2a1 with Acog 10x scope and m203 'nade launcher modified to shoot pie bullets and 'nades at high velocities**
Ready for action and reporting for duty FantasyFan! You have an ally!
On FantasyFan’s Side
That’s me. I’m not just a person who wants to throw pies.
And by the way,
What the heck is a cathassus???? :???:
Mr. 100
That’s me also.
K#13 (99),
It’s a word from the Gaboomba Age of the Fan Page. You’ll find a definition in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Gaboomba.
Oh. Chaos. Right. That perfectly explains what’s going on here.
*ignores pies and gets bag of yard-long Twizzlers, awarding them to allies and whipping people who pies him*
USECGO- nerds ropes work like that, too.
We suppose we are also procrastinators and HPB lovers.
I hate Twizzlers. They taste like they’re for diabetics or something.
*100th post dance*
I like pie-ing too!!!!!!!!!!!
can i be on 2 sides cuz i wanna be
People Who Just Want to Throw Pies
and
HBP Lovers
ok
*starts pieing every one in a 10000000000000000000 mile radius*
Howdy, y’all! Mr. Kokopelli is very busy right now, but thought that this here thread needed addressed as sooon as possible. That’s why he force- erm, hired yours truly to do all that fancy addressin’ for him. His comments proceeeeed as follows:
Dear MuseBloggers in the Pie- War Thing,
I have to say first of all, congrats on continuing this pie war for so long, even after the Norrisers and the Watership Downers disappeared. You make this Muse proud, even though Urania keeps bothering him about letting it continue, even though the other Muses have tried to intervene many times before. The inventions of Gwendolyn, the warrior skills of Otzi, and the all around- Kokopellianess of the pink stalking penguin of penzance has amused me and given me many new ideas. (Erm, this here part is blotted out with faaaake teears)
Mischievously Yours,
Kokopelli
All right y’all, I’ve got to mosey along now. So long!
Mr. Kokopelli, please don’t piie me againn!
I’m sort of bored…..
Cathassus is my fault. Heh heh.
[Your fault?! I’d call it your brilliant inspiration. –Robert]
Ok. Here’s what I could gather:
Procrastinators
Skipper + her Familiars and Alter Egos
Ebeth
Copper Yeti (i think)
Sweet Melpomene, Mufasa, and Yvella
HBP Lovers
Copper Yeti
The Skipper
Sweet Melpomene, Mufasa, and Yvella
I think those two teams could prob’ly be combined
Pie War Lovers
Fantasy Fan
kokopelli #13
Twizzler War Lovers
Ultimate Supreme Executive Chairman Grant O.
People Who Just Want to Throw Pies
Eccentric the Afterthought
kokopelli #13
Um, I left the Anti-Bushers off.. sorry… but could we save that for Hot Topics? I like Pie Wars when they’re funny, not about stuff that actually makes me mad. I don’t like the president either.
Feel free to make your own teams. Those were just some ideas I threw out there.
*twitches*
*grows fangs*
*eyes turn red*
WHY WASN’T I MENTIONED ON THE LIST??????????!!!!!!!!! I WILL KILL YOU AND EAT YOUR LIVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAARRGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*returns to normal*
Now, what did I do with those cookies?
yeah..leave out the politics. That’s what the hot topics thread is for. Can you put me under all of them so far?
I anm NOT a procrastinator,
How about HBP lovers vs. Tenrec lovers? *Goes ovder to Tenrec Lovers*
I don’t love Twizzler Wars. I just thought it might be more original than Pie Wars. Those are as stale as the original Jolly Roger, and I’m not even kidding. Allow me to introduce to you my very own Rum Janissary Corps! They’re here to hose everyone down with rum and make them too tight to pick up pies, let alone even think about throwing them.
We’re also neutrals!
112-Thanks. I feel better now. CATHASSUS IS HEREBY UNLEASHED UPON THE UNIVERSE! MWAHAHAHA!
113-Where am I on that list?
117-I have my own Ting. Begone, RJC.
Ting? Y’mean that carbonated Caribbean grapefruit juice? I’ve heard of that. Sounds good. Where can you get it? I wonder if it’s available in Ohio. I might be able to get it at Heinen’s. (Smashing grocery store only in this area.)
EEk! Sorry Gwen!!!! *dissolves into apoplgetic pile of goo*
And Copper, and Grant.
OK I really want to re-do the list but I have a mucho grande math test tomarrow so I need to sleep. I will first chance I get.
Oooo…. really sorry about that Gwen… I didnt see you listed as anything so I forgot to put you on…
The lists do get confusing after a while. Ah, well
We want……. a shrubbery!
A what?
NI! NI! NI!
Oh, ow! Please, please! No more! We will find you a shrubbery.
One that looks nice.
‘Tis fine, Skipper. Takest thine timeth. Just do it eventually.
I am the Witch Who Says Howdy, and if you want a shrubbery, you will have to fetch me a… bottle of trombone slide oil so I can practice! I am the local shrubber. Isn’t it a miracle that know one has thrown me into the lake yet, let alone strapped a carrot onto my nose and a tin funnel onto my head. Uh oh.
*angry villagers come with produce and metal funnels*
I still want that trombone slide oil!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry Nutrals, but Ive been on your side for 2 weeks longer than planed. I shall now go back to being THE JADESTONE SIDE!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! If anyone would like to join and be my loyal subjects, join now or suffer my wrath!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!
*pies Procrastinators, HBP Lovers, Pie War Lovers, and the People Who Just Want to Throw Pies*
He’s not afraid to die in bad and nastyways, the brave brave brave brave Sir Robin!
(By the way, I forgot what the capital of Asyrassia(or whatever that place was) is called. Any1 know?
People who don’t like Asparigus
Purple Panda
Of course.
And…not too expensive.
Yes.
Nooooow….GO!
130- Nineveh. There were more, but I can’t remember them…
*searches Wikipedia*
Assur and Dur-Sharrukin. Nimrud was listed as a city, but I don’t know if it was a capital…
King Arthur: Well I am king.
Dennis: Oh, king eh? Very nice. And how’d you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.
Thou mayest have the body! (Once King Arthur had got the body he didn’t know what to do with it. He should have put a gun in its hand and make it appear like suicide, like in the detective stories.)
I said that in class once.
Beak (cutting off lecture): Class, what are your ideas on what King Arthur should have done with the body? Jack?
Jack: Like, govern it. Dude.
Beak: Very good, Jack. *beams* Queenie? What are your thoughts on the matter?
Me: Hm. Well, the hardest part of any murder is hiding the evidence. He should have put a gun in its hand and make it appear like suicide.
Class: I don’t get it.
Me: Mwahahaha! I am the goriller of 3B! Ph34r m3!!!!
Thanks!
OK. Apologies ahead of time for any mistakes. This thread is a whole lot more confusing than the last one.
Neutrals(from the previous Pie War)(GO NEUTRALS!)
Gwendolyn of the Eastern Seas
Copper Yeti
Violetfire
Sweet Melpomene
The Skipper
Purple Panda
Procrastinators
Skipper + her Familiars and Alter Egos
Ebeth
Sweet Melpomene, Mufasa, and Yvella
HBP Lovers
Copper Yeti
The Skipper
Sweet Melpomene, Mufasa, and Yvella
the pink stalking penguin of penzance
Pie War Lovers
Fantasy Fan
kokopelli #13
People Who Think Pie Wars are Yesterday’s News, and who are trying out Twizzlers instead
Ultimate Supreme Executive Chairman Grant O.
People Who Just Want to Throw Pies
Eccentric the Afterthought
kokopelli #13
the pink stalking penguin of penzance
The Jadestone Side
Jadestone
People Who Don’t Like Asparagus
Purple Panda
OK. No abusing me for any me mistakes.
I'm not a person who just wants to throw pies! I'm a Pie War Lover, but that's it! Nothing else!
*pies The Skipper Nancy and everyone else who isn't on his side, except the Neutrals because, well, they're neutral*
I am a Pie War Lover, too. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!
Since it appears that we are on the brink of war, all classes of mine will be canceled until further notice.
*pies Jadestone 4857516487695495569758648953487894515974785649654 times*
Oh, and by the way, did that Kokopelli Representative from Texas guy seem to have actually come from Kokopelli himself? Seemed awful phony to me.....
Im baaaack! *pies neutrals* *pies all non- pie war lovers* * pulls out fantastic cannon of dooom and loads it with fresh batch of pies* next one who pies me is going to get a faceful of this. i dont even need to type it. I swear.
Shotgun, que es malo con Jadestone? Just wondering. By the way, Nancy, clever though the category I’m in’s name is, I find it inappropriate. I am not fixated on Twizzlers. I will use whatever methods spring to mind. Can’t stop a leatherneck; we adapt, and survive! Excuse me while I leap aboard my personalized zeppelin. Whoever wants to can join me high above the action, sipping pina coladas on lounge chairs watching the war. I follow whatever notions happen to grip me.
Did we pie anyone yet?
We’ll just stick to self-defense this time…
In our spiffy fortified library.
▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲
|—————–LIBRARY—————–|
|———————————————-|
|——————|_____|——————|
|——————|_____|——————|
|——————|_____|——————|
Would you like to ride in my beautiful balloon…
what side shall i be on? i dont really care. *throws Pie of Pessimism*
now youll all be filled w/ so much doubt that youll just simultaniously give up.
Would you like to glide in my beautiful balloon ?
We could flow among the stars, together you and I.
For we can fly…
For we can fly…
Up and away
In my beautiful, my beautiful balloon…
That was the Supremes, right?
If I can escape from my library without being pied too many times i’m sure Mufasa and Yvella can keep it secure…
I am on no side but my own. If any type of pastry or comestible is launched at my zeppelin, I shall consider it an act of war and rain down Molotov cocktails upon the battlefield.
Molotov cocktails? Now, that’s a bit extremist…
139-
a) I specifically asked for no abuse. Thanks a lot.
b) Since when have the Neutrals avoideding being pied just because they were neutral? As I recall, we neutrals pwned the last Pie War. Pretty much the only non-neutral left standing was FantasyFan (and few others, maybe.)
People Who Just Want to Throw Pies
Eccentric the Afterthought
kokopelli #13
the pink stalking penguin of penzance
OK Grant . How about this then?
Reform Blog War Team
Ultimate Supreme Executive Chairman Grant O.
And if you don’t like it you can come up with your name yourself.
*Throws Vegemite pies at everyone not on her teams*
*pies kokopelli #13 fifty gadgillion times with bean pies*
RAAA!!
NEUTRALS! PROCRASTINATORS! HBP LOVERS!! ONWARD!
*pies every one again, just for good measure*
* pies all neutrals* * AIMS CANNON… fires!* strait at SN ! the reason nearly no one besides the neutrals was left standing is because no 1 else had an organized team. we would pie anyo ne regardless, even if they were in yur group. it was kinda easier that way, not being responsible for anyone but yurself. *pies all non pie war lovers* *pies everyone else*
The Following Event May Or May Not Have Actually Happened To Yours Truly.
Mrs. Smith: What is the term for a group of mountains?
Paul: A… (looks around, confused) bahooka?
Me and Anna: A WHAT????!!!!!!!!!!!
Paul: A bahooka! Mongolian sea monkeys live on it! (laughs)
Anna: …..
Me: You moron! Everyone knows that the term for a group of mountains is a tree-cutting herring!
Anna: (playing along) Yes, and the term for a large body of water is Nih!
Paul: Of course! How could I have forgotten?
Mrs. Bozard: Oy vey.
(Mrs. Smith twitches. We grab some popcorn.)
THE END
Haven’t pied anyone yet. We’ll see how long we can stay out of this…
I am basically a neutral. I have stated my offer of letting people who want to ride in my observation zeppelin do it. We can have pina coladas, and I’ve got some smashing hors d’oeuvres up here. Who’s with me?
155- I am.
138-Look how left out I am. I fall under the ‘Supreme Leader’ category.
Stop throwing pies. *Laser beam dissolves all pies on battleground* Cut it out, people. You’re all being insane. We need to attack Highlights in a rational manner.
Chairman, please go fly your zeppelin over the Highlights site, without being seen if possible, and take notes. Bring back as much information as thou canst. Sweet Melpomene, you go with Agent USECGO and watch on the opposite side from him. If you wish, take a few people from my personal guard to assist you in your flight. I want you to report back to FantasyFan and design a plan for launching ballistas. Skipper Nancy, avail yourself of my guard if you need to for protection, and finish up that list!
Ok, would you like conch fritters or raw oysters on a half-shell?
No meat, thanks, but the pina coladas sound nice.
Can I be put on the procrastinator list?
report to me???! sounds nice. *immediately begins building something that makes a lot of noise*
Ok then. How about fruit? I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts. Hehe. Guava? Mango?
Lovely.
Hey! *pies shotgun #11 with pie slingshot*
{] {] {] {] {] {] {] {] {] {] {] {] {] {] {] {] {] {] {] {]
Thats for 142, by the way
I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts,
there they are standing in a row.
Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head,
Give ’em a twist, a flick of the wrist, is what the showman said!
Plenty room left on the zeppelin.
*pies everyone in sight virtually that is on this thread* wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*begins to rain rotten fruit on kricket*
I warned ye!
Oh, I’m coming on the zepplin. Get Eeegees for all, USECGO! I love eegees..
Hoy potats, I guess I’m now the official list-maker then. To make thing easier for me, coul you guys make sure you are very clear when stating your sides? It’s enough having to scan the entire thread without haveing to dig through posts to get the info.
Neutrals
Gwendolyn of the Eastern Seas
Copper Yeti
Violetfire
Sweet Melpomene
The Skipper
Purple Panda
Ultimate Supreme Executive Chairman Grant O.
Procrastinators
Skipper + her Familiars and Alter Egos
Ebeth
Sweet Melpomene, Mufasa, and Yvella
Purple Panda
Supreme Leaders
Queenie
GAPA
I guess USECGO too, but I’ll need conformation
HBP Lovers
Copper Yeti
The Skipper
Sweet Melpomene, Mufasa, and Yvella
the pink stalking penguin of penzance
Pie War Lovers
Fantasy Fan
kokopelli #13
shotgun#11
People Who Just Want to Throw Pies
Eccentric the Afterthought
the pink stalking penguin of penzance
The Jadestone Side
Jadestone
People Who Don’t Like Asparagus
Purple Panda
Reform Blog War Team
USECGO
Queenie too, I suppose
Highlights Haters
Everyone here
OK, I’m going to clean this up a bit, but I’ll just post this now to avoid super long posts.
PS I am not, in fact, pyschic, so if I havent put you on a team where you belong, it’s because I didnt find a post where you explicitly stated what team you were on.
Yeegads this is getting complicated… I kinda liked it when we all just randomly threw pies about a random topic that no one really knew about (Chuck Norris vs Watership Down for crying out loud)…oh well
DOWN WITH HIGHLIGHTS!
Teams from the First Pie War (which was originally Chuck Norris against Watership Down):
Neutrals
Pie War Lovers
The Jadestone Side
Random Teams that were just made up for the sake of having teams:
Procrastinators
HPB Lovers (not to be confused with HBP lovers, which I think I might have accidently typed before)
People Who Just Want to Throw Pies
People Who Don’t Like Aparagus
Other New Teams:
Supreme Leaders
Reform Blog War Team (I’m guessing you don’t mind that name Grant)
Highlights Haters
My name is Erato, now. No more Copper Yeti
I don’t know what could get more supreme than Ultimate Supreme Executive Chairman. It even has the word supreme in there. I’m guessing that I’m the only one who’s actually leader of something. In all honesty, I’m not really the leader, but that is my official title. I am one of the three founders of the Shadow Sector.
What on earth is an eegee? I’ve never heard of them and Wikipedia is stumped.
I have my own side. It’s The Chairman’s Zeppelin Crowd. So far it consists of me, Melpomene, and Skipper Nancy.
AGGG!@!!#$%%^@#@#!!
Well if it bugs you so much, retype it yourself!!
*pies Copper Yeti Erato fiftly grillion times with Vegemite pie*
*pulls out umbrella*
169- random pie throwing it is then!!!!!!! *pies Skipper Nancy*
I’m a HPB lover! Put me on the list!
Ok, I’m coming onto the Zeppelin. Please, Mr. Supreme Executive Chairman of the Universe?
* stays in shed building something*
nearly done… Chairman, you said that youd rain down stuff on our heads if we pied you, right? just checking.
please dont pie my cows!
they pied my cows!
Ill pie your cows!
whose cows?
apparently the smileys dont work in your name. for some reason i thought they did.
Doesnt it seem as if this thread consists of more team listing than actual pie- *is hit in face by pie thrown by kricket*
*licks pie away*
*glares*
*pies kricket*
*pies everyones else*
Oops. I forgot that eegees don’t exist outside of where I live. It’s pureed ice flavored with fruit. That’s the name of the chain that sells them.
Neutrals>/b>
Gwendolyn of the Eastern Seas
Erato
Violetfire
Sweet Melpomene
The Skipper
Purple Panda
Ultimate Supreme Executive Chairman Grant O.
Procrastinators
Skipper + her Familiars and Alter Egos
Ebeth
Sweet Melpomene, Mufasa, and Yvella
Purple Panda
Supreme Leaders
Queenie
GAPA
USECGO
HBP Lovers
Erato
The Skipper
Sweet Melpomene, Mufasa, and Yvella
the pink stalking penguin of penzance
Purple Panda
Pie War Lovers
Fantasy Fan
kokopelli #13
shotgun#11
People Who Just Want to Throw Pies
Eccentric the Afterthought
the pink stalking penguin of penzance
The Jadestone Side
Jadestone
People Who Don’t Like Asparagus
Purple Panda
Reform Blog War Team
USECGO
Queenie too, I suppose
Highlights Haters
Everyone here
The Chairman’s Zeppelin Crowd
Ultimate Supreme Executive Chairman Grant O.
Sweet Melponmene
Skipper Nancy
Gwendolyn of the Eastern Seas
Supreme leaders?!? im shocked. thats not fair. so I, pie war lover, just cause i dont like the idea of another youngish muser having to lead me, calls the supreme leaders group something else, like… buncha people. thats what ill call that team. leave me alone cause im werking on something deadly secret. i just gotta wait a bit… *pies TSN*
im in 2 catagories. yay
Well, if no one else wants to beon my side, then fine. doom on you all. At least I have Ishtar. *hugs gient pie polar bear*.e understands my need for total world domination. Perhaps I should joinanother side as a hired assasin again. I got 2,000 pinapple pies out of tha deal… Well, I guess now Ill check my artilary.
1,998 pinapple pies
1 Pie oven (which I took with me when I left the nutrals. It was mine, after all)
1 Battle Ax of Many Flavors
1 Pie Slingshot
1 giant pie Polar Bear, called Ishtar
Sevral dozen assorted pies
Thats all, i think…
Taiwan Hippo Fan likes Highlights. She gets it.
*pies THF!!!!*
I have:
stolen invention
pie catapult
frisbee pies
rabid pies
pie sheild w/ robotic arm
pie cannon
assorted flavored pies
quiches
crumbles
tarts
what im building. TOP SECRET
Yes, Gwendolyn, you may enter the zeppelin, provided you get my name right from now on. Ultimate Supreme Executive Chairman Grant. Not of the universe. You may add “of the Shadow Sector” or adjectives such as “the magnificent” or “the sly” if you wish. Who wants creme brulee?
I’m in quite a few catergories. Whoo-hoo.
Sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears
Sing with me, if it’s just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the Good Lord will take you away
[random lyrics. yay.]
Hey, I love that song! What exactly is going on here? I’ve read all the comments, but I’m still confused. All people seem to do is quote songs.
I’m so very sorry, Ultimate Supreme Executive Chairman Grant O. Could I please have some of those conch fritters? Also, I brought this lovely tea set that was lying around in my dining room. And some Belgian Pastries. Would anyone like some?
Are the Pastries those little waffley things? those are yummy.
Neutrals>/b>
Gwendolyn of the Eastern Seas
Erato
Violetfire
Sweet Melpomene
The Skipper
Purple Panda
Ultimate Supreme Executive Chairman Grant O.
General Otzi
Procrastinators
Skipper + her Familiars and Alter Egos
Ebeth
Sweet Melpomene, Mufasa, and Yvella
Purple Panda
Benedict Otzi
Supreme Leaders
Queenie
GAPA
USECGO
Very, very sneaky and manipulative Otzi
HBP Lovers
Erato
The Skipper
Sweet Melpomene, Mufasa, and Yvella
the pink stalking penguin of penzance
Purple Panda
Otzi with pink bunny ears
Pie War Lovers
Fantasy Fan
kokopelli #13
shotgun#11
Otzi the hippie
People Who Just Want to Throw Pies
Eccentric the Afterthought
the pink stalking penguin of penzance
Otzi the slinger
The Jadestone Side
Jadestone
Otzi ’cause Jadestone looked lonely.
People Who Don’t Like Asparagus
Purple Panda
Otzi the liar
Reform Blog War Team
USECGO
Queenie too, I suppose
Otzi who likes to reform things
Highlights Haters
Everyone here
And Otzi
The Chairman’s Zeppelin Crowd
Ultimate Supreme Executive Chairman Grant O.
Sweet Melponmene
Skipper Nancy
Gwendolyn of the Eastern Seas
Chairwoman Otzi
COMBINED MUSE ARTILLERY
stolen invention
pie catapult
frisbee pies
rabid pies
pie sheild w/ robotic arm
pie cannon
assorted flavored pies
quiches
crumbles
tarts
1,998 pinapple pies
1 Pie oven (which I took with me when I left the nutrals. It was mine, after all)
1 Battle Ax of Many Flavors
1 Pie Slingshot
1 giant pie Polar Bear, called Ishtar
Sevral dozen assorted pies
Two servants named Carlos and Juan who wanted to tag along
Mr.Peaks the raccoon
Lots of coathangers and a Koatrack
ten copies of the Journals of Lewis and Clark
Pie Rifle
A Disco ball
5 middle schoolers doing the Sven in Svenland
One senselessly violent cat who eats boots
a choir singing “William Clark is a Spark”
Wapato
12 printouts of needlessly detailed sloppily written Draco and Hermione Harry Potter fanfic
my homework.
A good book
A knife
A spotless workwoman uniform
A braid
An old NY Yankees cap.
You know, The Norrisers won the last pie war.
181- I don’t make these categories up (ok, I suggested some, but people chose to support those ones). I just post the ones people make. Queenie founded the Supreme Leaders.
187- Dream On, by Aerosmith. Ya!
#188- this is a pie war thread. way back when there was a im not going to type it all out read the old pie war threads and draw yur own conclusions. now we are mostly sitting around here making lists, and very little actual pieing is done. very boring for a PWL like me.
Conch fritters for Gwendolyn! Drinks all around! Who wants what?
193- Actually, they sort-of dissappeared halfway through…
Choklit?
Well the jynnan tonnyx sounds very nice to me.
Lets make sides that people can seperate on
CNN
MSNBC
NEUTRALS
PEOPLE WHO DON’T LIKE THE MEDIA
PIE-WAR LOVERS
Thank you. These are some delicious conch fritters. I’ll take a root beer float, please.
Otzi, please check the entire weapons list that I made on I think Pie War Thread 2. You’ll suddenly find we have a lot more new artillery.
Otzi! Pick a side. Stay with it. And stop melting all over Mr. Grant’s drinks, for Zark’s sake! Your artillery list leaves out most of our heavy weaponry. Where are my collapsible SEP fields? The Jujanta 400 Peril-Sensitive sunglasses? The Bistromathics spaceship? The Heart of Gold? The total pie count?
Erato, collaborate on the categories with Otzi to make a complete list. And while you’re at it, call CNN and MSNBC and ask them politely if they would like to do an anti-Highlights story.
Grant, Ms. Melpomene, I want your report on Highlights back now. We need to know our enemy!
Ebeth, cheer up. Your job is to write a short, concise, and helpful history of the Pie War.
188- See my Short History of thee Pie War at the top of the thread.
193- WHAT!!! THE Norrisers were completely annialated!! They dissapeared of the dace of the thread halfway through!!! The Neutrals won the last Pie War, or at least it was a deadlock between us Neutrals and the Pie War Lovers (or rather, FantasyFan)!!
*takes Sword of Endless Cream Filling and Pistol of {insert flavor here} Pie off there ceremonial pedestals*
*attacks Otzi*
I DECLARE WAR ON OTZI!!!!!
I am always a Neutral. I hate CNN, and dont know much about MSNBC, and dont like the Media in general, but I remain loyal to my side.
I CALL FOR A NEUTRAL RALLY! GWENDOLYN! ERATO! SWEET MELPOMENE! PURPLE PANDA! ALL NEUTRALS WHO FOUGHT ON THAT TEAM IN THE LAST PIE WAR!
UNITE!
The Chairman’s zeppelin crowd refuses to hand over the information. Mine is a mercenary faction. You can’t get something for nothing. Before I tell you about Highlights, I require (poses, finger at corner of mouth) 1 BILLION, MILLION, FAFILLION, SHABOLUBALU MILLION ILLION YILLION…yen. Fork over the moolah or I’ll not only deprive you of the information, I’ll rain scorpions down on the battlefield.
*spies on Highlights website, looking for a hate mail section*
Oh, dear. It seems Highlights has a book club that sends useless books to innocent children, such as horrid publications entidled Top Secret Adventures. Fun with a purpose? And what would that purpose be, exactly? Brainwashing? *disgusted sigh*
Their idiotic idea for the day?
May 1, 2006
National Book Month
National Book Month starts. Your family can celebrate with a trip to the library or a night when everyone reads instead of watching TV.
Their advice on bullies? We suggest that you talk with a trusted adult. … it is very important to talk with an adult such as a parent, another relative, a teacher or guidance counselor at school, of the parent of a close friend. … these people would be able to listen to what you have to say and give you some good suggestions. In English, “ask someone else because we have no clue.” And the “trusted-adult” thing never works. I should know.
Eew, it’s even advising parents to Observe your kids when they’re online and be aware of who they’re corresponding with. and Check the history file of your browser regularly to see which Internet sites your child is visiting and whether they’re appropriate.
I am thoroughly disgusted. They are advocating the spying-upon of minors! Oh, this is an all-out war!
That took quite a while to type…
202-What? I’m the Historian? Ok…but you know i’ll procrastinate on it.
205-THAT…IS…SICKENING!!!! Check the history file of your browser regularly?!?!?!?! WHAT THE BLEEP IS WRONG WITH THESE SICKOS????? I’m sorry but NO WAY!
I don’t go to “innapropriate” sites, i don’t associate with creepy old stalker men or anything, and my parents know this. And they trust me. And i trust them. HOW IN MIDDLE-EARTH ARE YOU AND YOUR CHILD GOING TO TRUST EACH OTHER IF YOU’RE CAUGHT SPYING ON THEM?!?!?!?! Erg! Now I’m mad!!!
Anyway, it’s not like it isn’t obvious how to delete the history. Ever thought of that, highlights people?
Arr. I’ve been stirred out of my comfortable apathy and laziness. DEATH TO HIGHLIGHTS! Although i am staying out of the rest of it.
yaaaaaaaaaaahh!!!!! war on highlights!!!! Goooooooooo! *pies highlights with several quadrillion pies, and prepares to unleash the TOP SECRET THING IM BUILDING upon the battlefield. oh, this will be good. but i have to right for the proper time.
go on USECGO. rain scorpions on the battlefield. ill be saif.
“Trusted Adult.” That phrase sickens me. Kids won’t trust adults as long as the majority of them still go around with their hideously superior attitudes.
Hey! Melpomene, you didn’t wait for them to give us the money! Maybe we can convince Highlights to give us money. THEN-A WE KILL-A THEM ANYWAY!
205-I just wrote them a long, angry rant about that parent checking websites thing. Blech. That makes me SO MAD! But i’ve vented now. They’d better reply…
I won’t even go to that site. Mine eyes shall not set, um, eyes, on that intellectual poison.
Oh, Skipper, no! We’re all united against Highlights, remember?
And those are really my weapons, so could you please ask before taking them? Thank you.
*british accent*
Well, may I please have a pie job? I know how to pilot that zeppelin, you know, and I could soup it up with some VERY interesting, new pie inventions.
HIGHLIGHTS SPYING INFORMATION
CLASSIFIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To Contact Us By Phone or Fax:
Customer Service (Monday-Friday 8AM-7PM EST)
Highlights Magazine Customer Service: (800) 603-0349
Highlights Catalog Customer Service: (800) 301-8165
Highlights Clubs Customer Service: (800) 316-4858
Highlights-Jigsaw Orders and Parts: (800) 935-2708
Editorial Headquarters
803 Church St.
Honesdale, PA 18431
Fax: 570-253-0179
Editor: Christine French Clark
Coordinating Editor: Kim Griswell
General Business Office
(614) 486-0631
To Contact Us By Mail:
Business Office
1800 Watermark Drive
PO Box 269
Columbus, OH 43216-0269
C.E.O.: Kent S. Johnson
President: Elmer C. Meider Jr.
To Send Letters or Packages Via UPS or FedEx:
1800 Watermark Drive
Columbus, OH 43215-1060
I have done it, oh great……peoples. Your chief spy has found the headquarters of the enemy. I take no responsibilty for any drive-by pie-ings that may result.
VIRTUAL pies, my peoples?
*heavenly choir sounds* oh this is to good. we can stalk them ! and worse! oohhhhhhhhhh…
Gwendolyn, that’s not the way we, meaning I, handle my zeppelin. Pies are stale, and I don’t mean they hurt more. I propose for our first strike we tip a large vat of slugs over Highlights headquarters.
211- Oh, sorry. It took over ten minutes to type, though, and I didn’t reload the page before submitting…
213- I wore sunglasses. I wear my sunglasses at night…
215- Prank call time!
haha! we vill stalk them!!
I used to get hilightts but now that weve declared war im gonna get it agian to spy.sorry i havent been here so long ive been really busy with school and stuff.
YES!!! WAR!! DOOM TO YE ALL!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! THE END IS NEAR, DIE ALL, DIE MERILY!!!
Whew okay I’m better now. Sorta. But anyway: Otzi! Pick a side(my side is going to win
).
And I’m working on a nw invention…hahaha…
\^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^/
.\………………………………PIE OF DOOM……………………………./
…\_____________________________________________/
And before someone steals it, *pies Highlights*
Mwahahahahaha!!!
\^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^/
.\………………………………PIE OF DOOM………………………./
…\_____________________________________________/
*gets pied by Wolf Blitzer for suggesting an anti-highlights story*
222- See the olde thread, https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=276 , comment 40.
so whats the current sides? well, doesn’t matter!
PIE! PIE!! PIE! PIE!! PIE!! PIE!!! PIE!!!!!!! PIE!! PIE!!!!!
haha i like pumpkin pie best…. apple pie is good too. i love peach cobbler!! yummy!
\^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^/
.\………………………HORSERADISH PIE…………………../
…\______________________________________/
hehe that should finish them off.
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!
(214, Gwendolyn). *is ashamed* Here are your weapons back… I was in one of my stupid moods. Sorry!
Ebeth, somewhere near the top of this thread is a very short (and a little inaccurate) Short History of The Pie War that I wrote, if you want to use it as an outline.
War on Highlights, what fun!
*cackles and rubs hands together craftily*
Thank you, Skipper. I trust you, really. It’s your emotions I worry about.
Ok, Mr. Ultimate Supreme Executive Chairman, you think pies are outdated. I, on the contrary, believe them to be a classic device in comedic warfare that can be tinkered with and updated. Suppose I built many hexaflavor versions of the Spear of Encrusted Dessert Pastries to satisfy you? The flavorings would be pumpkin, apple, blueberry, pecan, chocostrawberry, and slug. Notice I said “many”, meaning weapons for you and all of your Zeppelin Crowd.
Consider please.
I vill send them an e-mail that says this:
VIRTUAL PIE
PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE
PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE
ps. WE HAVE OFFICIALLY DECARED A PIE WAR ON YOU.
~MuseBloggers.
(And will the GAPAs put up a sign at the front of the blog that says “ANYONE WITH SYMPATHIES FOR HIGHLIGHTS MAGAINE WILL BE PIED IMMEDIATELY”
I consider myself above such petty confl-
*pie*
Well, then. I will head up the department of MuseBlog spies
*hums*
*hums with FantasyFan*
Waaaaaaar!! Hahaha!!! I think it is, once again, to become a hired assasin…no one seems to want to join my side(which will pwn all
*snibble*
How about
Daily Show vs. Good Morning America?
The Daily Show. Done.
the butcher the baker the candlestick maker… Ha hA ha!!!!! lamalama
Daily Show!
PIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
\^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^/
.\………WAR ON HIGHLIGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!……./
…\_____________________________________________/
Since we all seem to agree on TDH vs. GMA…
How about?
Jon Stewart vs. Martha Stewart?
*takes Marthas side*
who is Jon Stewart?
________________________
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Haha! My pie Cannon is compleate! And it is controled only by my voicce, and has an anti-theift sheild! HAHA!!! JOIN ME OR DIE!!! THE WORLD SHALL HAVE A NEW QUEEN!!!! ALL SHALL LOVE ME, AND ALL SHAL DISPAIR!
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*pies everyone else with asorted pies*
me and mi friends, we is stalking mi sisters piano teachers son, who was our guidance counseler for the past 5 months, but he left yesterday. Now all my friends want to come over on my sister piano lesson day so we can see him. (hes really cute and nice!, and youngish)
240- The host of the Daily Show!
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o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
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^my really screwed up mcflurry meraunge golfball pie
247. exactly!
Now, whcih side are you on?
Skipper:
PIE HIGHLIGHTS!!!!!!
Ya!!
Skippers emotions:
PIE EVERYONE ON THE MUSEBLOG!!!! PIE OTZI! PIE FANTASYFAN! PIE-PIE-PIEE—–
*is furiously beaten down by Skipper*
Ooops. Sorry about that guys.
*hums meditativley*
Skipper just tried to post this comment and got a weird message (not the “slow down cowboy” or the “duplicate post” one).
Skipper will try one more time.
Still not working… will try again later.
*Pies everybody who reads highlights*
I hope highlights readers like Choklit
250- what did it say?
It went to a page that had the same plae green theme as the museblog and had a big heading that sad something about WordPress being down and then gave a list of troubleshooting info and other stuff. I guess the sever comp was down for a bit.
Strange. A couple of days ago, I went into the code and changed the “cowboy” message to something slightly different. I hope I didn’t break anything.
Speaking of which, what did you all think of the May/June “Kokopelli & Company”?
I liked the frame of Chad going through Urania’s brain and getting it all over himself. It seemed very….Muse-esque.
ooh. I wan’t to see what the cowboy message was changed too! I’m going to post two things really close to eachother.!!
Sorry, you can post a new comment only once every 15 seconds. Patience, worthy MuseBlogger!
YAY!!
I liked the cowboy one better, though.
It is changed?
*posts twice within 15 seconds*
Crisp!
I wanna see it….
*clickclick*
I wanna see it….
Letsa see if I get the message
maybe it changed…hmm
no. it didn’t.
It’s been 13 posts since there was anything related to pies was posted!!
OK: Jon Stewart vs. Martha Stewart: Who is funnier, or who dso you like better in general?
*goes to Marthas side*
This is the same person who downlaoded 15 epidsodes of The Daily Show in one day
news flash! news flash! on the banks of New Jersey, millions and millions of pies are flying from the sky, people are creamed, exhausted of running away from the cherry, banana cream, and blueberry pies from which there are no escape. Oh my goodness. just as i am giving you this report, i am seeing a shadow creeping around the side of the broadcasting station. there isn’t much detail to it: a few spikes. is probably so wannabe gothic teenager with a mowhawk. well anyway, back to the report. a sad thing happened. Maurice Nighogg, from New Jersey, was pied and was turned evil. Oh my goodness. This might be maurice. *gulp* well, anyway….the shadow is getting closer folks, its standing still, its quiet, its twitching its small little hairs. Mr. Johansen, you can have my birthday cake, Melanie, you can have my job. but i’m too young to die. i don’t wanna die. i wanna live!!! *gulp* well back to the news, folks, the waves are churning over with, with, with, cherries? um, the figure appears to be holding a round disk of some sort….oh i know what it is now, its a mowhawk dude carrying a CD player. i hope i’m right. i’m so relieved. well back to the news. oh no, wait a moment. it’s not a mohawk dude. its up to my window, but its all black, its, um, apparently looking at me, but it has no facial features. its hairs, are um, twitching irratantly. its holding up the disc, um, i’m crawling away. ahhhh!!!!! its a pie! its KOKOPELLI!!!!! ahhh!!!!!!
KitKat: was that a different version of war of the worlds or something?
Jon Stewart is way funnier.
Jon!
Well, Martha is unintetionally Funny, While Jon is Intentionally funny. This considered, they’re about equal in my mind.
what about
Saddam Hussein vs. Osamma bin Laden
hee hee hee!
no comments of mr. green’s alien attack?
wahhhhh!!!!
and what the heck does Martha Stewart have to do with pie wars and or peace? eh? well when you have an answer, i’ll be right here…
Apparently, we can’t do Martha Stewart vs. John Strewart, as I am the the only one on Marthas side.
Saddam vs. Osama sounds goo,d acually. Theres an inside joke atmy school about Osama, so I’ll go on his side.
no idea who I’ll go with. Saddam’s birthday was the other day
where was mr.greens attack? I missed that…
Gurr! I think this thread is dead…*snibble* Poor poor Ishtar… He lives for pie wars…
hi
hi
Gurr I was trying to get the new slow down message…
Gurr
gur
*shows up out of the fifth dimension, chucks giant cherry-and-golf-ball pie at Ishtar, and vanishes, laughing maniacally*
**pies everyone that’s not on Pie War Lover’s side**
That oughta stir up some trouble. Things have been getting kinda boring over here.
254: I liked the May/June comic. It was pretty good.
GAPA, Why is your nickname a link to “http:///”?
I am the subliminal message master! I bet nobody read my last post for subliminal messages!
Hi.
*pies kokopelli#13*
Neutrals pwn!
*pies skipper nancy tenfold*
What’s pwn mean?
Grandma was slow, but she was old.
*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*razzberries*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*this*is*a*good*place*to*insert*subliminal*messages*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*you*stink*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*nah*nah*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*hoohah*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*blachablachablacha*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pick*your*nose*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*aren’t*you*dead*yet*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*hi*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*die*already*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*die*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*bleh*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*youstink*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*pie*
Wasn’t enuf room on the thread to post all of that, I reckon.
Nahh-nahh-nah-nah-nahhhhh!
blachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablachablacha
Want more pies?
Ok then! Get ready for full-scale war!
pie x infinity x eternity x everything else = a big, gooey mess
Ready?
we need another pie thread…
yay
hmmm
*pies all not on pie war lovers side* *pies* *yawns*
*pies someone passing by*
*pies kokopelli#13*
*pies FantasyFan*
*pies kokopelli#13*
*pies FantasyFan*
*pies kokopelli#13*
*pies FantasyFan*
*pies kokopelli#13*
*pies FantasyFan*
*pies kokopelli#13*
*pies kokopelli#13*
*pies FantasyFan*
*pies kokopelli#13*
*pies FantasyFan*
*pies FantasyFan*
*pies kokopelli#13*
*pies FantasyFan*
*pies kokopelli#13*
*pies FantasyFan*
Ha!
*pies Phoenix for pieing Ishtar*
Ha! Take that!
*Whips out pie ax, and caveres Phoenix makeing her imensesly stickey*