Quotations, v. 2009.3
Continued from Quotations, 2009.2, after that thread erupted into a heated religious discussion.
Date: June 29, 2009
Categories: Life, Nonrandom Craziness, The Universe
Wednesday, 17 April 2024
Life, the universe, pies, hot-pink bunnies, world domination, and everything
Continued from Quotations, 2009.2, after that thread erupted into a heated religious discussion.
Date: June 29, 2009
Categories: Life, Nonrandom Craziness, The Universe
Better are those who died than those who are alive, and petter yet are those who never lived.
Kohelet.
“Which would you rather suffer the loss of: some make-believe friendship, or a real one?”
-Saix in the E3 trailer for 358/2 days
“Of course she’s weak, to have her will broken so easily. Why would I need her to get stronger? Some Nefai are just pathetic, and one of those is you, little child! If you had any sense, you’d leave her for me to destroy. I find that…destroying others is more fun if they put up a fight, instead of just weeping sadly. You know what? Don’t steal my prey, you pathetic excuse for a Nefai. Go back to the little hidey-hole you came from.”
~ Bytana (owned by WitchCatPI), Nefai of Faelwen, Gaia Online
1. “All people pied her, whether on accident or on purpose, and she was buried in a mound of pies 4000 feet high!” ~Me, WOP P2
2. “Okay, IBCF! *merges*” ~Kokonilly, WOP P2
3. “I wiped my hands, knowing I had started the POOFimminent TEOTWAWKI system.” ~Me, whaddya think?
4. “PREPARE TO BE BORED TO DEATH THOU RAT.” ~Beatlesrockr, same…
5. “Satisfied, I also saw Lady Elle Trip get stuck to a hill.” ~Kokonilly, same. Again.
6. “Tasmania came flying past. Followed by Madagascar. They dropped vicious, human-eating ants.” ~Me, SAME AGAIN WO0T
7. “A fortress blew up in a mushroom cloud that smelled like that sweet cherry filling!!” ~Zinc, WOP P2
8. “Including that disastrous Lady Elle.” ~Beatlesrockr, WOP P2 (I’m honored.)
9. “I wandered over to the eel, chopped its head off (wearing mirrored contacts), and baked it into an eel pie.” ~Kokonilly, same.
10. “I opened the door, saw it was kiwimuncher, and promptly pied her with a chipmunk-and-eel pie and slammed the door shut.” ~Kokonilly, World or Piecraft, Part 2
More coming!
4: I wrote that? *has no recollection*
“If you ever HAD a mind, you wouldn’t be so FLAT!” Me to a mean alto.
“Marty made out with a real girl!” “Yes Ajay, and to think he did something you will never do.” Ajay, Mr. Fischer. Our second trombone was dating and Ajay yelled that out.
“I cannot have the cupcake pyschically… so I shall transport it into my mind.” SilentReaper’s StupidFox.
I see the replies have been turned off here. Good idea.
5-Yes, you did. -smug-
1. “*builds new fudgium fortress in a remote area of the continent Dornavenk*” ~IBCF, WOP P3
2. “I’m already a chibi, you pie-brain.” ~Sh’irby (AJAR?), WOP P2
3. “So it can appeal to both the silly-fun lovers and that more serious group of MBers who pretend they don’t care about cathassus or pointless mayhem.” ~IBCF, same
4. “¨¤ø„¸¨°º¤ø„¸¸„ø¤º°¨¸„ø¤º°¨
¨°º¤ø„¸ *blaam*¸„ø¤º°¨
¸„ø¤º°¨ *boom* “°º¤ø„¸
ø¤º°¨¸„ø¤º°¨¨°º¤ø„¸¨°º¤ø”
~IBCF, same
5. “Mwhaha the pears are reborn” ~Alex the reborn, same
6. “What eclair? I don’t have any eclairs. See no eclairs, hear no eclairs, eat no eclairs…” ~Me, same
7. “RAINBOW THE HEDGEHOG!!! *glomps*” ~Me, same
(beware) 8. “Star wars,
nothing but staaaaar wars,
nothing but staaaaar wars,
staaar wars,
Oh star wars,
staaaaar wars,
staaaaar wars,
staar wars,
Star wars,
nothing but staaaaar wars,
nothing but staaaaar wars,
staaar wars,
Oh star wars,
staaaaar wars,
staaaaar wars,
staar wars,
Star wars,
nothing but staaaaar wars,
nothing but staaaaar wars,
staaar wars,
Oh star wars,
staaaaar wars,
staaaaar wars,
staar wars,
Star wars,
nothing but staaaaar wars,
nothing but staaaaar wars,
staaar wars,
Oh star wars,
staaaaar wars,
staaaaar wars,
staar wars,
Star wars,
nothing but staaaaar wars,
nothing but staaaaar wars,
staaar wars,
Oh star wars,
staaaaar wars,
staaaaar wars,
staar wars,
Star wars,
nothing but staaaaar wars,
nothing but staaaaar wars,
staaar wars,
Oh star wars,
staaaaar wars,
staaaaar wars,
staar wars,
Star wars,
nothing but staaaaar wars,
nothing but staaaaar wars,
staaar wars,
Oh star wars,
staaaaar wars,
staaaaar wars,
staar wars,
Star wars,
nothing but staaaaar wars,
nothing but staaaaar wars,
staaar wars,
Oh star wars,
staaaaar wars,
staaaaar wars,
staar wars,
Star wars,
nothing but staaaaar wars,
nothing but staaaaar wars,
staaar wars,
Oh star wars,
staaaaar wars,
staaaaar wars,
staar wars,
and on and on and on…” ~bookgirl, World of Piecraft, Part 3
“Ha, the Americans have put a grapefruit in orbit!”
“Excuse me, sir, but what’s a grapefruit?”
-Supposedly, Khrushchev and his secretary on the Vanguard 1 satellite.
. “¨¤ø„¸¨°º¤ø„¸¸„ø¤º°¨¸„ø¤º°¨
¨°º¤ø„¸ *blaam*¸„ø¤º°¨
¸„ø¤º°¨ *boom* “°º¤ø„¸
ø¤º°¨¸„ø¤º°¨¨°º¤ø„¸¨°º¤ø
That… IS SO EXTREMELY COOL.
7-Ah, the good old days… *is proud of having said something quotable* I always wondered why there were less MBers left on the thread after I started singing
When the relocation ships come down to save us from the exploding sun, I won’t go. I won’t live in another city with no windows. I’d rather die with the sun in my face. -A Softer World
After the bombs dropped we had to forget our old lives, though I still laugh a bit when I meet someone who use to work for a collection agency. -A Softer World
More harm has been done by people panicked over societal decline than societal decline ever did. -xkcd
“Sir, I thought you couldn’t Apparate in Hogwarts?”
“Well, you see, being me has its privileges.”
-Harry and Dumbledore in a clip from HBP
“Should I tell you to hide, you hide. Should I tell you to run, you run. Should I tell you to abandon me and save yourself, you must do so. Your word, Harry.”
“…My word.”
-that same clip
Some Will Rodgers quotes:
You can’t say civilizations don’t advance…in every war they kill you in a new way.
I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.
There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, ‘How is the president?’
Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don’t they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
“For everything to be consummated, for me to feel less alone, I had only to wish that there be a large crowd of spectators the day of my execution and that they greet me with cries of hate.”
– Albert Camus, The Stranger
Chillingly familiar.
Elias, will you give it a rest? The GAPAs purposefully created this thread early in order to have a quotations thread that wasn’t involved in a flame war. If you want to continue your discussion/argument, there’s still plenty of room on the other thread.
Vanity, vanity, all is vanity.
Ecclesiastes.
Um. How is what my post no. 14 in any way connected with the atheism argument? I opened up the Stranger on the last page, found the last sentence, which is beautifully written by Camus, and posted it here. It’s about misanthropy, not atheism, and it’s from a fantastic piece of literature.
1. “This Castle is situated on top of a spring loaded mega-pie gun, so if there is trouble, I can flee, and pie you all to oblivion.” ~βℜξŊÄΛη², WOP P3
2. “This is the song that never ends,
yes it goes on and on my friends
Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was
And they’ll continue singing it forever just because-
This is the song that never ends,
yes it goes on and on my friends
Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was
And they’ll continue singing it forever just because-
This is the song that never ends,
yes it goes on and on my friends
Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was
And they’ll continue singing it forever just because-
[This is the song that just got snipped. –Admin]” ~JFTISG. same
3. “*brief allitation (I don’t CARE if that’s not a real word!) with IBCF*” ~Zinc, same
4. “I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves,
everybody’s nerves,
everybody’s nerves,
know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves,
and this is how it goes:
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves,
everybody’s nerves,
everybody’s nerves,
know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves,
and this is how it goes:
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves,
everybody’s nerves,
everybody’s nerves,
know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves,
and this is how it goes:
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves,
everybody’s nerves,
everybody’s nerves,
know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves,
and this is how it goes:
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves,
everybody’s nerves,
everybody’s nerves,
know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves,
and this is how it goes:
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves,
everybody’s nerves,
everybody’s nerves,
know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves,
and this is how it goes:
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves,
everybody’s nerves,
everybody’s nerves,
know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves,
and this is how it goes:” ~Bookgirl, same
“Now be brave. Be brave and don’t look back.” – Shmi Skywalker.
“An Addams never starts trouble. He just gets into it.”
-Uncle Fester in an episode of The Addams Family
“Bring him some water!”
“Water, my ***! Bring this guy some PEPTO-BISMOL!”
-the diner scene in Spaceballs
“On this ship, you are to refer to me as IDIOT, not ‘you captain’!”
-Spaceballs
“The ring! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU FELL FOR THE OLDEST TRICK IN THE BOOK! What a goof! What’s WITH you, man?? COME ON! You know what? Here, lemme give it back to you- oh! Oh, look at that, you fell for that too! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT, MAN! So, Lone Star, now you see that evil will always triumph… because good is dumb.”
-Darth Helmet in Spaceballs
Strangers stab you in the front, friends stab you in the back, boys stab you in the heart, but best friends just poke each other with straws and say, “Nye! Nye! Nye!”.
19 – O. M. G. MY DAD WAS WATCHING THE PHANTOM MENACE JUST THE OTHER DAY .
23- We’re about to watch it. We’ve been rewatching all the Star Wars movies in the order they came out.
24- I remember when I first got star wars- all 6 episodes, and I was very bored at the time. First, I watched 1-6 with my family, just on every free night that we had when everyone was home. After that, my sister and I kept going, watching alternately one episode of the old trilogy and one of the new one. Then we started watching first the old trilogy, then the new one, but my sister became so sick of it that she gave up half-way through episode 4 (but she re-joined me for episode one, her favorite). I watched episode two, then gave up as I drifted off into other occupations. Now I’ve re-started with the Phantom Menace, but since my mother finally found some old Arnie (Arnold Schwarzenegger) movies, I’d like to watch those first. Only a Tiroler could contrive to speak with such a bad accent. I don’t have an idear why
“I believe whatever doesn’t kill you simply makes you… stranger.”
-Joker in The Dark Knight
“Let me get this straight: You think that your client, one of the wealthiest, most powerful men in the world, is secretly a vigilante who spends his nights beating criminals to a pulp with his bare hands. And your plan is to blackmail this person? Good luck.”
-Lucius Fox in The Dark Knight
“It’s a funny world we live in. Speaking of which, do you know how I got these scars?”
“No! But I know how you got these!”
-Joker and Batman in The Dark Knight
“What were you trying to prove? That deep down, everyone’s as ugly as you?”
-Batman in The Dark Knight
“Ha ha ho ho hee hee a-ha. And I thought my jokes were bad.”
-Joker in The Dark Knight
Hollywood isn’t really an interesting source for quotes… But whatever.
26- They’re actually quite funny when you don’t watch the psychotic, deranged killer say it. ((I LOVE THAT MOVIE!!!))
SFTDP
Something strange is happening… Slowly, one by one, THE REPLY BUTTONS ARE DISSAPPEARING!!!! *runs in terror of his life*
GAPAs, may I ask why?
We’re experimenting. A few threads don’t have the reply option.
“Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot, and I discovered that the only reason it had been standing on its perch in the first place was, that it had been nailed there.”
-Dead Parrot
“If you want to get anything done in this country, you’ve got to complain ’til you’re blue in the mouth.”
-Dead Parrot
“It’s not a palindrome, the palindrome of ‘Bolton’ would be ‘Notlob’! It don’t work!”
“Look, what do you want?”
“No, I’m sorry! I’m not prepared to pursue my inquiry any further as it is getting too silly!
-Dead Parrot
“We’re an exclusive group. Like the Nazis, only minus the swastikas.”
-A kid from–gasp!–animation class! Can anyone guess what I do on Thursdays?
“Hey Indigo, come over here and scream for me!”
-The deadsword_1 kid
“That’s screaming? That sounds like an electric saw! Faylan, come over here and scream for me!”
-The same kid about five minutes later
“How do I stretch my monkey?”
-Another random kid. No, the quote was not random in context. We all cracked up anyway.
“This is crazy. I’m going to go insane from all this craziness.”
“You mean you haven’t already?”
-Electros and me. Poor electros, everyone he knows teases him incessantly.
“Eyewitness Video? You didn’t tell me we could party like it was 1998!” -Me. (Because it was a great video series, with the trippy white museum and the moving pictures and the catchy theme tune… da da dada da, da da dada da, da dada da da da DA DA!)
(Because there aren’t any reply buttons…grr…) 32- You know someone named Indigo?! I LOVE that name!
SFTDP
Yes but I don’t date electronics. –Cleverbot.
Everyone, pay attention to this paragraph. If you don’t get it, reread it until you do.
“This is not a story to pass on.
Down by the stream in back of 124 her footprints come and go, come and go. They are so familiar. Should a child, an adult place his feet in them, they will fit. Take them out and they disappear again as though nobody had ever walked there.
By and by all trace is gone, and what is forgotten is not only the footprints but the water too and what it is down there. The rest is weather. Not the breath of the disremembered and unaccounted for, but wind in the eaves, or spring ice thawing too quickly. Just weather. Certainly no clamor for a kiss.
Beloved.”
-Toni Morrison
Well, that’s the thing with volunteers. You get some that are good, some that are bad, and some that you want to beat over the head with a board. –my aunt
Gimme the frog or I’ll mount a rebellion! -me
Leafpool: Hot pink bunnies are for 2-year-olds. We should go and bash up little kids.
Me: That’s a bit violent. Although hpbs are violent too.
Leafpool: No they’re not.
Me: Yes they are. They squash you, bunnify you, zombify you…
Leafpool: That’s for 2-year-olds too.
Me: *gives up*
Yes, Leafpool really is friends with Sorreltail, who wanted me to draw an hpb for her.
34- Yuss, I do, though not very well. He’s called that because when he was born, he was blue from lack of oxygen.
You probably didn’t want to know that…. I like the name too, by the way.
36- Explain please….
“You said you’d pay me when pigs fly. Well, swine flu.” – Annoymous
40-GENIUS!!! ABSOLUTE GENIUS!!!
40 – I heard another variation:
“They said that when an African-American was elected, pigs would fly. Well, a month after Obama was inaugurated, swine flu.”
39: It’s a beautiful description of a person vanishing from memory. She’s part of everyone’s consciousness, but is always lost beneath self-importance and triviality.
That’s not the full explanation, but part of what makes Morrison so brilliant is that you can find the symbols yourself.
The sum of the matter is, when all has been considered: Fear God and keep His commandments, for that is man’s whole duty. For God will judge every deed–even everything hidden–whether good or evil.
Kohelet (Ecclesiastes) 12:13-14
Creepy, especially the last sentence and especially the last word.
“These cops and lawyers wouldn’t dare cross any of you. *pause* I-I mean, what happened?”
-Joker in The Dark Knight
“You… you just couldn’t let me go, could you? This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. You won’t kill me out of some misplaced self-righteousness. And I won’t kill you, because you’re just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever.”
“You’ll be in a padded cell forever.”
“We could share one. They’ll be doubling up, you know, the rate this city’s inhabitants are losing their minds.”
“This city just showed you that it’s full of people ready to believe in good.”
“Until their spirits break completely. Until they get a good look at the real Harvey Dent. Oh no, you didn’t think I’d risk losing the battle for Gotham’s soul in a fistfight with you? You need an ace in the hole. Mine’s Harvey.”
“What did you do?”
“I took Gotham’s White Knight, and I brought him down to our level. You see, madness is like gravity. All it takes is a little… push! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
-Joker and Batman in The Dark Knight (one of their best scenes together)
43- Ah. I kind of figured that out…. *reads passage again* Nice. *snif*
44: It’s only creepy if you believe in it at all. That’s why I always found the Satanic-themed horror movies like Omen or Rosemary’s Baby to be utterly hilarious and not the least bit scary.
Btw, if you want to answer, do so in the atheism thread, m’kay?
“I’d rather be dead than singing “Saticfaction” when I’m forty-five.”- Mick Jagger (oh, the irony…)
“You put a slab of leather on their back, and a leather cord around their head. You sit on the slab on their back. Kick them in the side to go, and use the cord to steer.” -Randomosity 101
“It’s just the way you do things! You have shootouts at high noon, you stretch in the seventh inning, you attack at dawn!”- Marco, Animorphs.
“It’s strange, how clouds that look like mountains in the sky are next to mountains anyway.” – ???? ?????
If you can find the source of the quote, then I’ll give you 25 spdzk points and a Banana Cream Pie. (If there’s another thread for this specifically, then please inform me.)
mystery quotes (if you can guess them all, you are a genius):
“Friends? Have you met this guy?”
“OI! There’s a war going on here!”
“It’s a problem with the graphite, sir. The next 10,000 will be up to scratch.”
“Well, it’s a good thing we got a discount.”
“Another technical journal, Scotty?”
“Aye.”
“Don’t you ever relax?”
“I am relaxin’!”
“Don’t worry, it won’t hurt.”
“That’s what you said about the last one.”
“Did it hurt?”
“Yes!”
“Well, look who it is, FALLING ON MY HEAD! WORK ON WHERE YOU TELEPORT PEOPLE, OLD MAN!”
“Freedom is the freedom to say two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.”
“What’s the point of deers? If there’s no point of moose, then there’s no point of deers because they’re the same thing!” -Some kid on the bus
“Dreamweaver is good, it weaves your dreams.” -Seth, my computer web design teacher
“Today in computer web design class, because we can’t log in into our computers, we’re going to learn how to reincarnate dinosaurs.”-Seth, again
The light was watery, dim and incomparably sad. Vast, grey, gloomy hills rose up all around them and in between the hills there was a wide expanse of black bog. Stephen had never seen a landscape so calculated to reduce the onlooker to utter despair in an instant.
“This is one of your kingdoms, I suppose, sir?” he said.
“My kingdoms?” exclaimed the gentleman in surprize. “Oh, no! This is Scotland.”
–Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, by Susanna Clarke
“I said my compound would take you places. I never said they’d be places you wanted to go.”
“My business, repeat customers.”
“If you don’t like what I have to offer, you can buy from someone else. Assuming Batman left anyone else to buy from.”
Here are some quotes from a book called Irene Iddesleigh. Its author is Amanda M’Kittrick Ros, who is celebrated as one of the worst writers in history. I find the book hilarious, so here are some of my favorite quotes:
“‘Sympathize with me, indeed! Ah, no! Cast your sympathy on the chill winds of troubled waters; fling it on the oases of futurity; dash it agaisnt the rock of gossip; or, better still, allow it to remain within the false and faithless bosom of buried scorn.’ Such were the few remarks of Irene…”
p. 1
“Speak! Irene! Wife! Woman! Do not sit in silence and allow the blood that now boils in my veins to ooze through cavities of unrestrained passion and trickle down to drench me with its crimson hue!” p. 50-51
“Divesting herself of her clothing, Rachel soon put herself in a position to guarantee slumber.” p. 87
52-
1. No idea.
2. Harry in Deathly Hallows when Ron and Hermoine are kissing.
3,4. Somewhere aboard the U.S.S. Enterprise in the new Star Trek movie.
5. The scene in the new Star Trek movie where the doctor guy is giving Jim all of the shots.
6. Yet another from Star Trek. I think.
7. No clue.
(I know a few of these because I saw Star Trek recently.)
Actually, you only got one of those right.
1. The Dark Knight.
2. DH.
3. Batman Begins.
4. a TOS episode of Star Trek.
5. Another TOS episode.
6. Phantom Hourglass (the last Legend of Zelda game).
7. the novel 1984.
“Whoa dude look at those polar bears with machine guns!!!” -A kid in my computer web design class
“It’s Bruce Lee versus Iron Man!” -Will, another kid in my computer web design class
“They have a fight – Chuck Norris wins!”
-a line from a variation of “Triangle Man” my friends thought up at camp
“Dad, I’m going on a dinner date.”
“Me see you dinner. Where you date?”
“We should talk, dad.”
-Junior and Larry in Pearls Before Swine (it’s really funny because Junior is dating the niece of the zebra next door that Larry is constantly trying and failing to catch)
“Citizens may not enter Wisconsin with a chicken on their head.” -Kokonilly
“Are sea doughnuts salty or sweet?” – Me, to another councilor at Marine Camp. (The kids were playing a parody of Deadliest Catch where they caught “sea doughnuts” rather than crabs”.)
58- I’m pretty sure the 5’th one was also in the new Star Trek movie. Something like that, anyway.
Conversation I had with some friends in maths class:
Them: Where do you live in Boganville? (They didn’t actually call it that, but it’s a suitable name.)
Me: Oh, near Boganville Park.
Them: Boganville High!?!?! Do bogans come and rape you? Aren’t you scared to live there?
Anyone gonna guess my quote in post 51?
“Quitters never win, and winners never quit, but those who never win and never quit are idiots.” – despair.com
SFTDP
“But Oogway wore no pants.” -Po, Tales of the Furious Five
“Some people hand you the parts of truth that you want to hear, some hand you all of it and run away, but me, I prefer to slug you over the head with a baseball bat and force it on you, if for no other reason than to see your facial expression. I’m so bad? Thank you!” -me
“Some men just want to watch the world burn.”
-Alfred in The Dark Knight
“I want… my phone call. Want it. I want it. I want my phone call!”
-Joker in The Dark Knight
“If you’re good at something, never do it for free.”
“How much you want?”
“Uh… half.”
-Joker and Chechen in The Dark Knight
“I suppose they’ll lock me up as well. As your accomplice.”
“Accomplice? I’m gonna tell them the whole thing was your idea.”
-Bruce and Alfred in The Dark Knight
*He flips the coin, it’s the good side* “You’re a lucky man. *flips the coin, bad side* But he’s not.”
“Who?”
“Your driver.”
“Do you think I should go to a hospital?”
“You don’t watch a whole lot of news, do you, Mr. Wayne?”
“That thief in Burma. How did you catch him?”
“We burned the forest down.”
“Carbon fiber, .28 caliber, made in China. If you want to kill a public servant, Mr. Maroni, I recommend you buy American.”
“Let’s not – blow – this out of proportion.”
“You think you can steal from us and just walk away?”
“Yeah.”
“The world is cruel, and the only morality in a cruel world is chance. Unbiased. Unprejudiced. Fair.”
” ‘Let’s put a smile on that face!’ And… why so serious?”
“Listen, Dent, I swear to God I didn’t know what they were gonna do to you!”
“That’s funny. ‘Cause I don’t know what’s gonna happen to you either.”
Famous:
“Any sufficiently advanced technology seems like magic”
Hilarious:
“Any technology that does not seem like magic, is not sufficiently advanced.”
“You’re a fool, Harry Potter. And you will lose…. everything.”
-(I won’t say who it is because it’s really obvious)
“It’s sort of exciting, isn’t it – breaking the rules?”
“Who are you and what have you done with Hermione Granger.”
-Hermione and Ron in OOTP (movie)
“Hermione, I hate your cat.”
-Ron
“It was foolish of you to come here tonight, Tom. The Aurors are on their way.”
“By which time I shall be gone, and you… shall be dead.”
-Dumbledore and Voldemort
“Get away from my godson.”
-Sirius
“Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.”
– Unknown
{That quote was on a tea packet tag…. I like tea. }
Woo! I’ve been quoted! Several times, it seems!
“In Brave New World, it’s all about instant gratification. They have no relationships. It’s just, get it in, get it on, get it out.”
– My English teacher. This was immediately followed by an awkward silence, which was broken with the sound of sixty children laughing their heads off.
And an intelligent one from yours truly:
“One, two, three, four, five, six… oh. I lost count. STOP MOVING!”
“He said hi, and I said hi, and he asked if I saw his show last week, and I said yes, and he asked if I liked it, and I said yeah, it was funny, and then he said if I hated it, I probably wouldn’t be talking to him.”
-My sister, about this guy whose play-performance-thing we went to see last Saturday. Okay, it’s really more sad than funny….
“The earth swarms with people who are not worth talking to.”
–Voltaire
“Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.”
-unknown
some quotes from the new HP movie (POSSIBLE SPOILERS POSSIBLE SPOILERS)
Ron: “How much is this?”
Fred and George together: “5 Galleons.”
R: “How much for me?”
F&G: “5 Galleons.”
R: “I’m your brother!”
F&G: “10 Galleons!”
-joke shop scene
Harry: “Okay, so today, I’m going to be putting you through a few basic tests to find your strengths-”
*everyone’s pushing and arguing about something*
H: “Excuse me, could you please be quiet?”
Ginny: “SHUT IT!”
*everyone shuts up instantly*
H: “…Thanks.”
-Quidditch tryouts scene
“Never trust a person who says ‘Trust me’.”
“If you can’t say something nice, lie.”
“What doesn’t kill you makes you paranoid.”
“You can only feel unloved if you’ve ever been loved.”
– Ghostgirl: Homecoming
“A true friend stabs you in the front.”
– Oscar Wilde
“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.”
– Margaret Mead
“A paranoid is someone who knows a little of what’s going on”
– William S. Burroughs
“A narcissist is someone better-looking than you.”
– Gore Vidal
“This world is a comedy to those who think, and a tragedy to those who feel.”
– Horace Walpole, Fourth Earl of Oxford
“When I eat disasters, I usually make salads out of them.”
–Me. This is what happens when you have been on a plane for ten hours, and a train for three.
Alright, since nobody’s guessing my quote in post 51, I’ll post the answer. It’s John Mayer, in the song 3×5.
“The way is shut. It was made by those who are dead. And the dead keep it. The way is shut.”
-Legolas at the door of the Dimholt
“The way is shut. It was made by those who are dead. And the dead keep it. The way is shut. Now, you must die.”
-The King of the Undead in the Dimholt
“Did you know that you can cure your hangovers with bacon? And I DID NOT LEARN THIS FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE!”
“Good! I was about to say, ‘You’d better not!’ ”
-Me and a staff member at camp
A good friend will console you when someone hurts you. A BEST friend will chase that pro-body builder down the street, bat in hand, yelling, “GET BACK HERE!â€
-My friends and I made it up about what someone in our group would do
“Snakes can’t climb stairs!â€
“How do you know?â€
“It is a scientific fact!â€
“Then how do they get in trees?â€
“They fall off the cliff!’
-Mr. And Mrs. Huxtable, the Cosby Show
1-888-We-Joust
– real Phone number on the side of a bus
[All quotes before after this point are from the Princess Bride. The book or the movie.]
So you’ll put down your Rock and I’ll put down my sword and we’ll try to kill each other like civilized people?
-Westley, Book and Movie
“Your father had his annual physical. I have the reportâ€
“And?â€
“Your father is dieingâ€
“Drat! That means I shall have to get marriedâ€
-Count Rugen and Prince Humperdinck, Book
“Life is pain. Anyone who says differently is selling somethingâ€
-Fezzik’s Mother, Book (Westley says it in the Movie)
In Greenland, there is one person for every twenty square miles of real estate. Probably the circus was pretty stupid taking a booking there, but that wasn’t the point.
-A]Part of the Narrative, Book
“People are always thinking I’m stupid because I’m big and strong and sometimes drool a little when I get excitedâ€
-Fezzik, Book
“The Sicilian knows allâ€
-Vizzini, Book
“See, I didn’t know you wanted him breathing in the wagon.â€
-The noisy Brute, Book
“Why do you think they locked the door behind us?â€
“To add spice to our trip, I suspectâ€
-Fezzik and Inigo, Book
“Back, witch-“
“I’m not a witch. I’m your wifeâ€
-Miracle Max and Valerie, Movie and Book
“A giant on a stick?â€
-Valerie, Book
“You were always good at dead.â€
-Valerie to Miracle Max, Book
“I will save this patient!”
-One of Derek Stiles’ two best lines in Trauma Center
“Don’t die on me!”
-the other best line
80- Just so you know, there’s a special thread for guessing quotes. It’s here -> Fetch
84- [1] In comment 51 I asked that someone would inform me if there was a thread for that.
[2] That wasn’t a quote from a Museblogger, it was from a song.
“Best. Holiday. EVER!”
-Kokopelli in the placebo issue of Muse
“As a scientist, I’m impervious to the power of suggestion.”
“Gosh, I think you may be the best scientist I’ve ever met!”
“Really??”
“No.”
-Chad and Kokopelli in the placebo issue
*with an accent* “Now, everybody pick up their cushions [pillows] and proceed to beat the crap out of each other.”
-the last guy in the talent show before the pillow fight started ( )
85- [1] Well, now you’ve been informed.
[2] I did not realize that. I’m sorry.
“Avoid bad things because they are bad.”
– I think it was the game “Orange” on Kongregate.
“I can’t go to Pigfarts, it’s ON MARS.” –Draco Malfoy in A Very Potter Musical.
“Hufflepuffs are particularly good finders!” –Cedric (AVPM)
“What the h*** is a Hufflepuff?”–Dumbledore (AVPM)
Conversation in the car: (Dad and me)
“Look, the guy with the bicycle is going into the closed looking bicycle shop. (Dad)”
“Mabye it’s not a bicycle shop…”
“Oh no. Not the conspiracy theories again.”
“But conspiracy theories are fun!”
“In a race between a rock and a pig, don’t varnish your clams.”
-A line in a Dilbert strip
“What happened to you?”
“I went through the train. What happened to you?”
“I jumped over it.”
*pause*
“You can do that?”
-GI Joe: Rise of Cobra trailer
“Standing in front of you: a Delta6 Accelerator suit.”
“What’s it accelerate?”
“You.”
-also GI Joe
Guess where this is from. (hint– It’s a book)
“From the level of passion involved, anyone might have thought it was a meeting of anarchists, differing only over the amount of dynamite to put in their latest bomb. In fact, they were of quite another persuasion, and they abominated anarchists.”
“Atlantis (the space shuttle) is bi.”- Some guy on SpaceVidcast.
“Who would send him a mean Tweet? He’s an astronaut.”- My mom, referring to Mark Polansky.
Some from my Space Academy councilors, callsigns used in some places to protect the innocent:
Bojangles: “That’s level G14 Classified.”
Redbeard: “Which is worse than level G13 Classified.”
Bojangles: “Last year, Walter Cronkite came to our anniversary celebration.”
Redbeard: “Well, he’s sure not coming this year.”
Bojangles: “Good thing, he’d be a little creepy-looking.”
Another camper: “So the obstacle course is called Area 51? What’s it like?”
Somebody in my group: “I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.”
Some kid in my group: “A man is found dead in a room surrounded by 53 Bicycles. What happened?”
*Everybody in the group puzzles over it for an hour*
Day Councilor Travis: “Okay, now I’m going to take you guys to see Dr. von T. If he asks for questions, don’t ask something stupid, I want you to respect him.”
*Travis looks at the kid who asked the riddle*
Travis: “And no, you CAN’T ask him the riddle about the bicycles.”
That kid: “But- he’s a rocket scientist, he might know!”
Another kid in my group: “Can I take off my flightsuit at graduation?”
Travis: “No, because there’s going to be an astronaut there and my boss will never let me hear the end of it.”
That kid: “Okay, then, I’ll just have to assassinate that astronaut.”
“Life is just one day after another, no matter how strange the days are.”
-Robin McKinley, DragonHaven
“If I lived a fairy tale, I’d probably stab my foot with a vorple blade or get lost in the mimsy borlegroves.”
-same
“You all right, son?”
“You can whistle really loud, you know that?”
-Pike and Kirk in Star Trek
76) It’s “Holds everything together”.
76, 96- *sings* Duct tape, we love you duct tape, we will be true to you forever…
What? It was from a show I was in two summers ago.
“Give Saren his (censored) Laffy Taffy!” – My friend Hannah.
“Oy vey! Schmear!”
– Michael Scott, The Office
“If the world chooses to become my enemy… I will fight like I always have.”
-the final line in Shadow’s story of Sonic 2006
“We are poor, and if you made a list of the things people want to be, poor would be at the bottom of the list, right above ‘sick’ and ‘dead’.”
-A clip from an old TV show in a documentary my class watched
SFTDP
“Look, he’s not talking about the prophecy, he’s not talking about the Daily Prophet, and he won’t give you his autograph. So clear off, pipsqueak!”
– Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince game
“He’s covered in blood again. Why is it he’s always covered in blood?”
-Ginny in the movie
“Why is it when something happens, it’s always you three?”
“Believe me, Professor, I’ve been asking myself the same question for six years.”
-McGonagall and Ron in the movie
“Since when have you called me ‘sir’?”
“Since when have you called me ‘Potter’?”
-Hagrid and Harry in the book
“Hello, I’m Ned. I bake pies, and wake the dead.”
———— Pushing Daisies Commercial
When I heard this I was dying on the floor. He said it so mellowly. Like it was nothing. I bet you could find it on YouTube or something…
“I hate fishing line. Starting now.” One of my friends.
Mystery quote!
“Cruising all down main street, you’re relaxed and feeling good
Next thing that you know, you’re seeing- octopus in the neighborhood!”
Ooh. Well, I googled, but I knew the tune.
“Then Russia’s like ‘AAAAH MOTHALAND!’ ”
-the End of Ze World animation
“Between the Sun burning out, the 2012 doomsday prediction, ‘It’s the End of the World as We Know It’, and End of Ze World, why is everyone so worried about this recession?”
-Me
“Charlie, you look so down with your big fat face and your big fat frown.”
-Charlie the Unicorn 2
More HBP quotes (all from the movie):
“I just Apparated, didn’t I?”
“Indeed. Quite successfully, I might add. Most people vomit the first time.”
-Harry and Dumbledore
“You must be wondering why I have brought you here tonight.”
“Actually, sir, after all these years, I just sort of go with it.”
-again H and D
“This can stay hidden up here too, if you like.”
-Ginny when she kisses Harry in the RoR
“Harry!”
“Sir!”
-Slughorn and Harry in the greenhouses
“Hi!”
-Harry to Ginny and Dean, hyper from the Felix Felicis
“You just earned yourself a month of detention – not so fast, Potter.”
-Snape after McLaggen throws up on his shoes and Harry attempts to leave the scene
“Harry, I must insist that you accompany me back to the castle immediately!”
“That would be counterproductive, sir!”
“What makes you say that?”
“No idea.”
-Slughorn and Harry near Hagrid’s cabin
“How does it feel, Harry? To see Ginny with Dean? I know. I’ve seen the way you look at her. You’re my best friend.”
[Harry sits down to comfort her, Ron and Lavender burst into the room laughing but Ron sobers up when he sees Hermione]
“Oops!… I think this room’s taken.”
[she runs off]
“… What’s with the birds?”
[Hermione stands up and glares at Ron]
“Oppugno.”
[the birds fly at Ron, he dodges and flees, Hermione sits back down and cries onto Harry’s shoulder]
“It feels like this.”
-Hermione, Lavender, Ron, and Harry in the scene with the yellow birds
“Fight back, you coward! Fight back!”
-Harry in the HBP scene
“Yes. I’m the Half-Blood Prince.”
-Snape in that same scene
104- The “Magic School Bus” theme song!! I LOVE that show!
Whoops, sorry – in 108, nothing is supposed to be in italics between “Sir” and “Fight back!”. Just ignore them.
[HTML gnome to the rescue.]
Thank you.
“Mr. Stark, you’ve been called the Da Vinci of your time. What do you say to that?”
“Absolutely ridiculous, I don’t paint.”
-Iron Man
“Remember Ben Parker?”
“What does it matter to you anyway?!”
“Everything!”
-Spider-Man 3
“You knew this was coming, Pete.”
“I didn’t kill your father!”
-Spider-Man 3 trailer
109- Correct!
Can anyone guess where this is from?
“Monkey, my love, have you a mind?”
“…And she always knows when people are not talking about shovels!”
—————————————————- Starfire, From Teen Titans.
“I need to talk to M.”
“I’m afraid she can’t be disturbed, can I take a message?”
“Listen, you go and find her, tell her to call Security at Miami International Airport because I think a bomb is about to go off and you do it now.”
“Sorry – can I put you on hold?”
“I thought you might.”
-Bond and whats-his-face in Casino Royale
*laughing* “You really don’t know anything about us?? It’s so amusing, because, we’re on the other side, thinking, ‘Oh, the MI6, the CIA, they’re looking over our shoulders, they’re listening to our conversations,’ and the truth is you don’t even know we exist?!”
“Well, we do now, Mr. White. And we’re quick learners.”
“Oh, really? Well, the first thing you should know about us is, we have people everywhere. *he turns to Mitchell* Am I right?”
-Mr. White and M in Quantum of Solace
“What the ***l are you doing??”
“You’re welcome!”
“You idiot, take me back!”
“You know, maybe I’ll do that later!”
-Camille and Bond in Quantum of Solace
“You know who Greene is and you want to put us in bed with him. You’re kidding me, right?”
“Yeah, you’re right, we should just deal with nice people.”
-Leiter and Beam in Quantum of Solace
Another mystery quote:
“People will mistake me for a planetarium.”
“Probably student input.”
“What do you mean?”
“Like, input from the students!”
-me and my mom regarding classes for 09-10
PANTS QUOTES
(Anyone who says “That’s what she said” while reading this will be smacked. This means you, Enceladus.)
“Peter, do you think anyone needs my pants?”
“There’s not enough room in these pants for the two of us!”
“Josh, give me your pants!”
“I want your pants!”
And so on. These are from the OAC.
“You hair is your crown,” “That you remove when you retire,” “And your breath is like down,” “Wind of a compost heap on fire,” “With your eyes black as nuns,” “Like nuns they cross themselves each day,” “And your face like the sun,” “Set over Pittsburgh, U.S.A.”
–“The Art of the Ground Round”, by P.D.Q. Bach
“i started panicking a few minutes ago
i was like: don’t panic don’t panic don’t panic
that made it worse so i thought: don’t tell yourself not to panic, don’t tell yourself not to panic
and now i suspect i am a machine created to bring anxiety into the world
i’ve been thinking: ‘don’t tell her what you’ve been thinking’
‘don’t just walk away’
‘don’t stare at that child’
‘don’t pat that cop gently on the face’
‘don’t stand in the road talking to yourself'”
“chopping an onion is like being a kid on christmas
you unwrap your present
and you try not to cry”
“hey jeremy
it’s four a.m.!
HEY
do you know what is just as good as marijuana
not sleeping
i feel kinda fuzzy and my eyes burn
five minutes seem like a damn hour
i can’t remember what i was doing like a minute ago
all i want to do is watch tv and maybe like float away or get under the biggest blanket
…
where is my time going
…
why am i still alive”
–No amount of any sort of points to whoever correctly identifies the source of those three without cheating
118 – That third one sounded very, very, very wrong.
120- (re:118) ALL of those sounded very, very wrong. But of course they weren’t in context.
I think.
121 – Sorry, I meant the second one.
122- Oh, the third one sounded wrong too….
“I’m sure people just kiss each other.”
-Liz, on Kissing
-A
116- That’s from Spongebob.
“I still say a church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of confidence.”
– Doug McLeod
At band camp. In the cafeteria.
“These tater tots are DELICIOUS. The best in the world. GET THEM.”
– Our band director
Next day. On the field.
[in an effort to get the marching band to face forward] “Okay, pretend you have a laser shooting out of your chest and you want it to hit me. It’ll make me laugh. Or kill me, whichever you prefer.”
[the clarinet section promptly fails]
“YOU KILLED THE TATER TOT MAN! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? …wait. Maybe you made him laugh.”
– The same band director
125- Yes. It is.
“Why do people leave such long messages?
I don’t want to hear your thoughts on the world… just give me your name and phone number.
Heck, I don’t even want your phone number, because if I don’t know it, I probably don’t know you, and I don’t want to talk to you.
And even if I do know you, I still don’t want to talk to you.
*he picks the answering machine up and slam dunks it in the trash can*
Technology made simple.”
-Rat in Pearls Before Swine
“Breathing is a hobby.”
– Summer camp counselor
118: A running joke in my camp’s unit was that if you added the phrase “in your pants” to any sentence, it would sound funny.
May the light always find you on a dreary day,
When you need to be home may you find your way,
May you always have courage to take a chance,
And never find frogs in your underpants.
“You see, I have made a great discovery. I no longer believe in anything. Objects don’t exist for me except in so far as a rapport exists between them or between them and myself. When one attains this harmony one reaches a sort of intellectual non-existence – what I can only describe as a sense of peace, which makes everything possible and right. Life then becomes a perpetual revelation. That is true poetry.”
– Georges Braque, artist
“Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I’m a dog chasing cars. I wouldn’t know what to do with one if I caught it. You know, I just… do things. The mob has plans, the cops have plans, Gordon’s got plans. You know, they’re schemers. Schemers trying to control their little worlds. I’m not a schemer. I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are.”
“Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I’m an agent of chaos. Oh, and you know the thing about chaos? It’s fair!”
– The Joker, “The Dark Knight”
“In every living soul, a spirit cries for expression – – perhaps this plaintive, wailing song of Jazz is, after all, the misunderstood utterance of a prayer.”
– “The Jazz Singer” (the first full-length talkie)
Tom: “Does anyone know what a caucas is?”
Saliha: “A dead body!”
“There is no good and evil. There is only power, and those too weak to seek it.”
– Professor Quirrel, who learned from the Dark Lord
“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you are a mile away from them, and you have their shoes.”
“Some girl with psychic powers, she says ‘T-Bone, what’s your sign?’ I blink and answer ‘Neon!’ I thought I’d blow her mind.”
– “Existential Blues” by Tom “T-Bone” Stankus
Inigo: That Vizzini, he can fuss.
Fezzik: Fuss, fuss… I think he likes to scream at us.
Inigo Montoya: Probably he means no harm.
Fezzik: He’s really very short on charm.
Inigo Montoya: You have a great gift for rhyme.
Fezzik: Yes, yes, some of the time.
Vizzini: Enough of that.
Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?
Fezzik: If there are, we’ll all be dead.
Vizzini: No more rhymes now, I mean it!
Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut?
Vizzini: DYEEAAHHHHHH.
—The Princess Bride (obviously)
“Hi, my name is Samantha… and I storm castles.”
“I’mma kill him!”
“Oh, keep your shirt on.”
All from our Princess Bride party. ^^
“When you marooned me on that God-forsaken spit of land, you forgot one very important thing, mate. I’m Captain Jack Sparrow!”
-Jack’s infamous line
“The charge is conspiring to set free a man convicted of-”
*long pause*
“I can’t read my own writing.”
*in an undertone* “Crimes.”
” ‘Crimes’! Thank you very much.”
-Governer Swann in the Dead Man’s Chest bloopers
“So now all that’s left is to climb aboard the Davy Jones Crocodile machine, or whatever it’s called – what’s the bloody thing called?”
-Jack Sparrow in the Dead Man’s Chest bloopers
Some kid on my Space Academy team: “Five minutes to launch.”
Some other kid: “What do the REAL Mission Control people do right now?”
The “Flight Director”: “They smoke and they drink a lot of coffee.”
*Everybody laughs*
The “Flight Director”: “At least that’s what they did in the 70s…”
131 – Technically speaking, it wasn’t Quirrel, it was Voldemort himself.
“Now, this stuff is dang tasty, and it is double dang hot. So don’t go adding more unless you knowze what youze doing. *short pause* Luckily, I knowze what I’ze doing.”
-the chili episode of Good Eats
“I’m just presenting some possible service options.”
“You are, are you? Well, I got a service option for you: you put the chili in a bowl, you put a spoon in the chili, you put the chili in your mouth.”
-that same episode
“Are you the faulty toothbrush salesman?” – The Treehouse Detectives.
“Whoever said anything was possible obviouslty never tried to ski through a revolving door!” -Unknown
“Sush, the flowers are listening!”- One of the robots from MTS3K.
“You know you lurk on Museblog too much when you recognize your favorite threads by their page names.”
-Me (it’s true )
“Deaf in one ear and can’t hear out the other!”
-my dad
“He who laughs last…………..
thinks slowest.”
Anonymous
138- Ah, skiing!
“Why is everyone wearing those jackets?”
“Because they want to send the subconscious message: I am a tree!”
“A very fast tree.”
“As long as they don’t do summersaults they’ll probably be fine.”
-My sister and I
“My skis are evil. They forgot to mention that there’s a difference between the right and the left one.”
-Me
“You know dad, when I said I felt confident enough to go down a black slope, I meant a normal black slope, not a black diamond with those “Caution, steep!” signs on top which have little black stick figures falling off cliffs on them.”
“Don’t worry, I went here with your sister yesterday and she´s still alive.”
-My dad and I, also skiing
Another random quote;
“If hundreds of Michael Jackson fans around the world say: I believe in Michael Jackson, then maybe he’ll come back to life!”
-my friend
If I book a cruise and see “Hugh Williams†on the passenger list, I’m waiting for the next boat. – Robert
If you fall off the mountain, don’t come crying to me! – me
War does not determine who is right – only who is left (Bertrand Russell)
Whoever says it was “as easy as taking candy from a baby” has never tried to take candy from a baby. – ?
“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”
George Santayana
Red meat isn’t bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
– ?
A friend (who was joking): Hey, babe, what’s your sign?
Me: Flashing neon “WARNING!”
“Skill is successfully walking a tightrope across Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying.”
“History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it.” – Winston Churchill
They laugh because I’m different. I laugh because they’re the same.
It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees. – Emiliano Zapata
Vegetarian: Indian word for ‘lousy hunter’
I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.
Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror and you wouldn’t have been notified.
Tomorrow will be canceled due to lack of interest.
Smile. Tomorrow will be worse.
I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
You’re jealous cuz the voices in my head talk to me and not you.
No tresspasing, violaters will be shot and survivors will be shot again.
Don’t tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon.
People are boring, they are only amusing if you push them down a flight of stairs.
When life gives you lemons make grape juice and let the world wonder how you did it.
I AM NOT CRAZY! My reality is just different than yours.
My imaginary friend thinks you have mental problems.
When life gives you lemons squeeze them in somebody’s eyes and RUN!
If you are reading this then step 1 of my EVIL PLAN is complete.
I’m perfectly sane, it’s the world that’s crazy.
I used to have super powers, but my therapist took them away.
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
If at first you do succeed, try not to look to astonished.
Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
I haven’t lost my mind — it’s backed up on tape somewhere.
Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia. – Charles Schultz
142- the MJ one, haha! I didn’t know he was a fairy.
More quotes:
“Outside of a dog, books are mans best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s to dark to read.”
-can’t remember
“Yes, I did say it was a revolutionary mime company.”
-innacurate quote of David Bowie interview that I once saw on Youtube.
143: You saw that too?! Whoa…
143- I like the “footprints” one.
“Technically, this unit doesn’t exist. But if it did, it’d be comprised of the best operatives in the world. And when all else fails – they don’t.”
-G.I Joe: The Rise of Cobra
“Ha – he gave up.”
“…He never gives up.”
-Baroness and Storm Shadow in GI Joe
“Now I have the disturbing mental image of Richard Branson being cut into pieces in my head. Thank you ever so much.” -Me, on another site.
Sorry for the double post, but this conversation happened five minutes after I pressed “Comment”.
My brother: “Why does the Masked Magician wear a mask?”
Me: “So nobody knows who he is.”
My brother: “Of course people know who he is, he’s the Masked Magician!”
“LOOK what you have done to [my baby sister]! Her first word was ‘submarine’!” –my friend (this isn’t actually true, she was joking)
“I don’t have to be careful, I’ve got a gun!” –Homer Simpson
“I’s got good English” –my aunt
“Weh-uhl, Ah’m doian all raeght! Ah faell dawhn them stai-urhs, and browk mah ahnkle, but othr’n tha-yut, Ah’m doian all raeght!”
-My great-grandma Nona (she’s tenesean through and through, if you can transalate that you get a prize)
“Who, me? I wouldn’t read a book if you paid me to! I’d just take the money!”
-my cousin Kat, who is 19 almost twenty and starting her second year of college, when I asked her (in despair of anything about which to talk) if she had read Twilight.
“Never say never, ever!”
-my grandpa
“how’s your mom’n’em?”
-all tennesseans (and I mean ALL!) if you know what it means you get another prize
“hey, are you reading Shakespeare now, kid?”
-Kat and her cousin from the other side of her family (they’re all going into college now) when I was in first grade. My reply? “yeah, Twelfth Night is my favourite.”
“it’s full of cliches”
-my cousin Becca, after our grandma took her to see a Shakespeare play, haha
151: Well, I’m doing all right! I fell down the stairs, and broke my ankle, but other than that, I’m doing all right!
151- “Well, I’m going alright. I fell down the stairs and broke my ankle, but other than that, I’m doing alright.”
Correct? It probably doesn’t count, since I was just in Alabama and got used to translating the accent.
More mystery quotes:
Look, pal – a few cups of coffee don’t mean you know me.
“And the shaking.
Why do they always shake them?”
“And do me a favor, will you?”
“Of course.”
“Cut down on the chips, for Christ’s sake. You’re making me sick.”
“Now, to make yourself some quality chili powder-”
“With an ‘i’.”
“Yes – you’re going to need some quality chiles.”
“With an ‘e‘.”
*in an annoyed tone* “Yes, with an e.”
“… But now, either I drink a hell of a lot more than I think I do, or you sprouted? What’s your secret?”
“Well, captain… you do drink a lot.”
145- Uh, saw what *is clueless*
146- Don’t you just? I love it. I’m planning on getting to Pluto. Who’s coming with me?
“One only dwells on being right if one is unused to such an occurrence.”
– Me
“I’m not worried about what history will say of me. I will write the history myself.” – Me
Just because you are unique does not mean you are useful.
“I didn’t do it, no one saw me do it, and you can’t prove anything!”
How did the fool and his money get together in the first place?
“No one’s perfect, but I’ll get pretty darn close!” -Me
“How dare you insinuate that I procrastinate! I will sue you for all you own! Tomorrow…” – Me
“Feed the monkey or I’ll hit you with a snake!” – Me (Unfortunately, this story has absolutely no rational explanation. I had the monkey. I had a stuffed snake. I ran around the bunkhouse demanding for the monkey (and I) to be fed. The above statement was repeated many times, very quickly (I speak very fast) Many people were whacked. No one fed the monkey. Sniff)
It is bad luck to be superstitious. — Andrew Mathis
Can you think of another word for “synonym”?
He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
Egotism: Doing a crossword puzzle with a pen.
“Random facts are so random!” – I’m not telling, at the behest of the (very embarrassed) speaker
SFTNP
151- I can identify with your first quote! Only mine would go something like, “Well, I’m going alright. I tripped over a bit of floor when I was pseudo-fencing with my brother and I sprained my ankle, but other than that, I’m doing all right.â€
SFTDP
155 – I’ll give you a hint on the first three…
Markus Zusak.
SFTDP
“Puking Pastilles. It wasn’t pretty!”
“Told them I wanted some sweets, and they told me to bugger off and ate the lot for themselves.”
“That was really clever, Ron!”
-Ginny, Ron, and Hermione in OotP (movie)
152,153-Yes, you are both right. That speech of my Nona’s is usually in reply to my grandad saying “How ya’ doin’ mum?” in various variations.
155- I’ll come to Pluto with you!
Ben, on last night’s SpaceVidcast:
“I just figured out how to pay for my retirement. I’m going to shoot things into space and then sell them on eBay for a million bucks when they re-enter!”
*Picks up a book, waves it around*
“Space book!”
*Picks up a cell phone*
“Space phone!”
*Takes off his watch and waves it around*
“Space watch!”
“Spaaaacccceeee neeeeeeewwwwwwwsssssssss!”
“When American needs saving, Dr. Tran delivers!”
“No, I don’t.”
“I promise.”
“- How did you find my village?? Please, STOP TALKING!”
-Here Comes Dr. Tran
161- You watch SVC, too?
“You’re obliged to pretend respect for people and institutions you think absurd. You live attached in a cowardly fashion to moral and social conventions you despise, condemn, and know lack all foundations. It is that permanent contradiction between your ideas and desires and all the dead formalities and ain pretenses of your civilization which makes you sad, troubled and unbalanced. In that intolerable conflict you lose all joy of life and all feeling of personality, because at every moment they suppress and restrain and check the free play of your powers. That’s the poisoned and mortal wound of the civilized world.”
-Octave Mirbeau
“La liberté n’est pas dans le faire tout ce que l’on veut; elle est dans le ne pas faire ce dont on a pas envie.”
J.J. Rousseau
Translation: “Freedom does not consist in doing whatever one wishes; it consists in not doing that which one does not have any desire to do.”
163- I saw your post and decided to check it out yesterday.
136- Good Eats is my favorite sow on FN. It has a lot of good science in it.
“Wow, that Anon guy sure said a lot of stuff.”
“Feather, that’s short for “anonymous.””
Insert various quotes from Neil Young songs here.
Kai – I watch Magic’s Greatest Secrets too! *levitates to high-five*
Harry: It’s not any book, guys.
Ron: Is it a young adult vampire romance novel?
*Harry and Hermione stare*
10 seconds later
*Ron is on the other side of the room with his face to the wall*
” …Well, it’s not that I’m against finagling, but…
not by a girl. DX.”
~friend
“In my vocabulary, it means whatever you want it to mean, or just sounds cool. You’re really rubophable, you know. Say it: rubophable! Rubophable! Rubophable!
Right here, it means…ok, I’m using it to mean ‘gives (insert name here) MAD Naruto ninja skillz’
I know, it sounds kinda wrong, like…rubbing. Or, um, y’know. THIS, you see, is the kind of stuff me and my female friend talk about in PRIVATE. *runs and hides*”
~Me
“Personally, I think that a great Fighting-type or Normal-type move for Pokemon would be Backrub. Or Finagle.
And I’m totally pulling from Bakugan here, but a Dark-type move called Shadow Split could decrease the opponent’s accuracy and speed, because that’s…sorta what it does.”
~Me
“This year, when adventure comes knocking – there are some doors that should never be opened.”
-the trailer for Coraline (it looks really good, I should watch it)
“You probably think this world is a dream come true. But you’re wrong.”
-the cat in the trailer for Coraline
“Apparently, the playwright thinks I’m an idiot who tells bad jokes about meat all the time.”
“Yeah, you tell bad jokes about plenty of other topics.”
“I know!”
-Sokka and Suki in Avatar
“What are you doing?!”
“Saving the jerk who dumped me.”
-some random guard and Mai in Avatar
“Get the fugitives and throw them in the cooler.”
“Uh, they are in a cooler, sir.”
“ONE THAT’S BOLTED DOWN AND NOT FLOATING IN THE WATER!”
-the Boiling Rock Warden and some guard in Avatar
“Hey, what did you do that for? That hurt my feelings.”
“Aren’t you mad at me?”
“Well, normally I would be, but I’ve been learning to control my anger.”
“… This isn’t working out so well!”
-Hakoda, some guy, and Sokka in Avatar
“I’m sitting in the smallest room in my house. I’m reading your review, though what is before me will very soon be behind me.”
-some guy responding to unfavorable critic of his work
“Oh, so that’s a cow in the bathroom! Glad I got that figured out because, you know, for a second I thought it was John Lennon leaning over and barfing in the toilet, and Ringo was sticking his head out the door, going ‘Hi!!!!!’.” –Me, not surprisingly (it made sense in context)
“It came to me in a vision–a man appeared on a flaming pie and said unto them ‘From this day on you are Beatles with an A.’ Thank you, Mister Man, they said, thanking them.” –John Lennon (perhaps the man on the pie was Kokopelli? )
Some from the series Bailey School Kids:
“You’d be scared, too, if the future of the world was pinned to your shirt.” -Howie
“UFOs. Ugly Fat Omelette’s.” – Eddie
“I’ve watched enough cartoons to know that there are crazy people who want to take over the world.” – Eddie
“Maybe Mr. O’Grady is from the Irish CIA and Ms. Jeepers is an international jewel thief!” – Lisa (She’s talking about the gym coach and their English teacher)
I just saw the first hour of The Matrix and it was so awesome I just have to post some quotes.
“You take the blue pill and the story ends. You wake in your bed and believe what you want to believe. You take the red one, and you stay in Wonderland… and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.”
-Morpheus
“What does that mean?”
“It means buckle your seat belt, Dorothy, ’cause Kansas is going bye-bye.”
-Neo and (I think?) Trace
“You think that’s air you’re breathing?”
-Morpheus
“Come on! Stop trying to hit me and hit me!”
-Morpheus
SFTDP
On the second one, the other guy’s name is Cypher instead of Trace.
This actually happened in Spanish class once, names changed to protect the innocent:
Anne: “Here’s something fun- open a translation dictionary to a random page and read the first word that you see.”
Jane and I : “Okay!”
*We get dictionaries and do this*
Jane: “What’s up with this? I got the word for ‘lesbian’!”
*She sees the look on my face*
Anne: “What word did YOU get, Kai?”
Me: “The one that means ‘Molotov Cocktail’.”
176- *cracks up*
174-From Matrix Reloaded:
“@#$@ it Morpheus! Not everyone believes what you believe!”
“My beliefs do not require them to.”
-Locke and Morpheus
I love that one…
“The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.”
– Oscar Wilde
Love that man.
179- Have you listened to the Monty Python sketch parodying Wilde? “There is only one thing in the world worse than playing squash together, and that is playing it by yourself. . . .I wish I hadn’t said that.” “Uh, you did, Oscar, you did.”
“But if you lose that card, I’ll personally barbecue you to medium rare. Got it memorized?”
-Axel in a KH fan-fic I read
180-Oh… I remember that one. That’s a great sketch. Is that the one with “Your majesty is like a steaming puddle of Bat’s piss.”?
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.
– unknown
182- It’s actually a stream, not a steaming puddle, but yes, that’s the one. “What I mean, your majesty, is that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around is dark.”
“Door on your left.”
*Neo goes right*
“Your other left.”
-Tank in Matrix
” ‘Hey, Mikey, I think he likes it.’ ”
-Tank in Matrix
“God!”
“What?”
“I used to eat there.”
-Neo and Trinity in Matrix
“All I see is blonde, brunette, redhead.”
-Cypher in Matrix
Isn’t the point of quotations to choose lines that say something conclusive and independent on their own, rather than meaningless excerpts from film dialogue?
Look, most of the quotes I post, I post because they’re funny, OK? Jeez…
Okay, I know I’m addicted, here, but… Death Note quotes? C’mon, people, there are some pretty good ones…
And Elias? I agree with I-Man. Go make fun of someone else or something. People can quote whatever they want here.
“Hey Raito, no one’s home, so let’s play Mario golf!” -Ryuk (manga)
“I couldn’t bear to live in a world without Light!”
“Yes, that would be dark, wouldn’t it.”
-Misa and L (anime)
“Yay, let’s all be friends together!” *grabs Light and L’s hands and pulls them around in a circle* *cheesy music plays*
*in a rather bored tone* “Yay. Fun.”
-Misa and L (anime)
(in the middle of a movie shoot) “I love you.”
*pause*
*Misa turns to camera*
“Director, Misa has a boyfriend so please make any love scenes rated PG.”
-Misa (manga)
“From what we’ve seen, the one who’s the least Kira-like and has the most influence over the others is….”
“Namikawa!”
“Ooi!”
*everyone stares at Matsuda*
-Light, L, Matsuda (manga and anime, but it’s funnier in the anime)
“Say what you want, but I will be taking the cake.”
“Well fine. When I’m alone with Raito then I’ll close the curtains and turn off all the lights.”
“It’s also an infrared camera.”
-L and Misa (manga)
“What’s up?”
“Another one of Matsuda’s unimportant idiocies.”
“Well, Matsuda does have that natural ignorance…”
“Those two know we can hear them, right?”
-Light, L, Matsuda (manga)
187: But they’re not *funny*. Not even within the context of the movie.
189- Actually, they are….
189 – Then that’s just your sense of humor.
There’s nothing funny about them. Nothing relating to the psychology of humour is recognizable in a positive way in them. Even the actors and producers admit that the dialogue in the Matrix was crap. Furthermore, if you watch the Matrix and come away with those few quotes, then you’re not paying enough attention to what the movie is actually trying to say, i.e. the “other minds” philosophy problem.
188- I wish my mum would let me read the manga, but no, she says, not for at least THREE YEASRS! AAARGH! But I know enough for your quotes to be funny to me.
“But you did NOT, in any way, shape OR form mess with Apple Pie, Mom and Our Sainted Teacher!” -Jay Barbree, Live From Cape Canaveral.
192- FS, can you please not rain on other people’s parades all the time? Just because something isn’t funny to you doesn’t mean it’s not funny to other people. This is a quotations thread. The type of quotations to be posted is not specified. We believe in freedom of speech here on MB, as long as the speech isn’t offensive. You’re accomplishing nothing here. People don’t want to talk about philosophy on the Quotations thread. They want to talk about quotations, not how crappy they are. Being judgemental on a thread which isn’t specified for debating is being rude. So please just quit it.
195: Freedom of speech means that I have the freedom to criticize valueless posting (and besides, isn’t “offensive” subjective?). Furthermore, life is boring unless you analyze things that you wouldn’t normally analyze. I don’t want to accomplish anything other than stimulate people who are being intellectually lazy. In Venice they say “citiamo giusto o non citiamo”. “Either quote correctly or don’t quote at all”. (Yes, I know, who the hell has a proverb about quoting? But there it is.) I’m sorry if persistent and consistent criticism and cynicism is too much for your young, sensitive brain to handle, but there’s really no other way to grow otherwise. So deal with it.
Am I a nut, a nutter, a nutcase, or a natto?
-me, when I’m feeling random. That’s one of my catchphrases. You get a bonus point if you know what natto is.
(195- I have a question. Are you a boy or a girl? I’ve been trying to figure it out, but I can’t. Sorry, I know it probably shouldn’t be on this thread.)
Very funny. Not.
-me, when my dad makes a bad pun.
(My friend)Why did you just do that?
(me)Because.
Because why?
Because because.
Because because why?
Because because because.
Because because because why?
Because because because because.
Because because because because why?
Because because because because because.
Because because-ARGH! Not again!
-Me and most of my friends, when I do something really odd and they want to know why. I love doing it, because it annoys them. Especially when I’ve victimized them by that more than once.
192 – Those aren’t the only ones I came away with. I did understand the movie, I just liked some of the humorous quotes more than the philosophical.
SFTDP
*kid raises his hand*
“Yes, Andrew?”
“Is salt flammable?”
*pause*
“Sometimes, this class makes me want to look up and say, ‘WHY???’ ”
-my 8th grade science teacher and a kid in the class
196- Rule seven includes the sentence “Keep it civil, please.” Civil: marked by benevolence; behaving in a reasonable or polite manner; not rude; polite or courteous; among other such definitions. No politeness, no civility. No benevolence, no civility. No courteousness, no civility. No civility, no adherence to rule number seven.
200 – Exactly the point I was going to make (or sort of).
Elias, if you think that being subjected to constant and persistent criticism is one of the few ways to “grow up”, then go somewhere else, please, because Muse Blog is not a School of Hard Knocks.
201-agreed.
196- I really don’t think that posting quotes which one finds funny is “intellectually lazy.” I think it’s good to have a laugh every once in a while, and I also think that if people are criticized all the time then they will not “grow up” properly. They will grow up paranoid, thinking that no one agrees with them and that their ideas are stupid. Therefore you obviously did not “grow up” this way, since you seem to think that your opinions are the only correct opinions in the world, and you have absolutely no respect for others’. Therefore, you are being a hypocrite. Not to mention that our brains really aren’t as “young” and “sensitive” as you seem to think. When are you going to grow up, FS?
196_Criticism and cynicism really aren’t that important. It’s not necessarily good to assume that you know better than society. If you assume that, then that means that you have far too big if an ego. It’s also a very bad idea to just insult people by calling their brains sensitive and whatever just because your ideas are more radical than theirs.
Okay, now that everyone’s opinions are out there, can this please be the quotations thread? Please? FS already ruined one.
To hopefully lighten the mood, a quote from one of my favorite sources for quotes:
“I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn’t study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people.” — Dan Quayle
According to Snopes.com (/quotes/quayle.asp), Quayle never said that. It was a joke that someone else made up to tell about him. He said plenty of other off-the-wall things, though.
197- I’m a girl. And it’s fine. I’m used to it–on the blog and in real life. ^^
FS- Just. Quit. It. This is stupid. Really stupid. You are not trying to ‘intellectually stimulate’ us. All you are doing is trying to start yet another debate. THIS IS A QUOTATIONS THREAD. THIS IS NOT A DEBATING THREAD. KEEP THE DEBATING ON THE THREADS FOR DEBATING ON. As RQ said, you succeeded in turning the last thread of this kind into a debating thread. Can you please leave this one alone? If you want to quote stuff, fine. But turning the thread into ‘my quotes are better than everyone else’s, you’re all immature’ is NOT okay. EITHER BE CIVIL OR STAY OFF OF CIVIL THREADS.
I don’t mean to be mean here, but neither do I mean to be a pushover. I propose that if FS can’t behave himself on this thread, we just don’t debate with him anymore. Agreement?
“The Mayan’s greatest achievements were pyramids, hieroglyphs, and scaring a bunch of people about the world ending in 2012.”
-someone in my history class.
He did, however, say this:
“We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe.”
Which is just as idiotic.
“Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
-I forget who said that.
“I am not a wrist!!”
– Me, during a very strange conversation where Fishy started talking in Spanish
200 + 204: I am being civil. I have not made any personal attacks, I have not insulted anyone specific, I have not been abusive or even aggressive. All I have done is made you question your statements, whatever those may be. I find a certain value in quoting the intellectual giants of our time. That is the point of having a collection of quotations, to exchange witticisms and musings by people smarter than we are. I realize that many of you are not used to having to defend your actions when it comes to this sort of thing, as the standard for intellectual integrity and prowess is considerably lower at a younger age. However, if I spend the effort to criticize, it is because I think you will be able to use it to your benefit. Why else criticize? The whole point of critique is to improve and to aid.
Now, the term “sensitive”. What I’m seeing here is an offended reaction to something entirely inoffensive. It is a contrasting opinion, NOT an attack. Are we so inundated with political correctness that we can no longer express negative judgement without being told we are insulting?
203: I have no problem with funny quotes. But they have to actually be funny, and more importantly, they have to have meaning outside of the original context. Furthermore, I certainly do not think that my opinions are the only correct ones. That would be absurd. I have only recently come into legal adulthood, and I come into contact with people who are wiser and wittier than me all the time. The difference is that I actually recognize and defer to superior ability, and attempt to learn from it, instead of taking offense at criticism. Lastly, I would like to point out that your claim that kids will grow up paranoid if they are subjected to frequent criticism is completely unfounded, as I doubt you have personal experience with your own children. As it is, criticism is healthy, if kept insult-free (as I am doing), and the only for someone to develop greater cephalic capacities is to be forced to question their positions, statements and beliefs. It’s called “critical thinking”.
Now, quotations. Notice that they are understandable without prior knowledge, or without knowing the context.
“Find death with all your appetite, all your egotism, and all your capital sins.”
– Rimbaud
“I had never seen that bar so full
There’s always lots of people on the road to hell
But it is a road to go down in solitude.”
– Bukowski
This is a skit, not an actual situation. I am not deaf, though some say I’m bordering legally blind, my eyes are AWFUL!
Friend: you dropped your hearing aid.
Me: What?
Friend: You dropped your hearing aid!
Me: Yes, lemonade would be nice.
Friend: No, you dropped your hearing aid!!!
Me: I already told you, I would like some lemonade!
Friend: You. Dropped. Your. Hearing. Aid!!!!!
Me. How can I have possibly dropped my lemonade if you haven’t given me any?
Friend: YOU DROPPED YOUR HEARING AID!!!!!!!!!
Me: since when were we talking about first aid?
Friend: YOU DROPPED YOUR HEARING AID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: I don’t need first aid!
Friend: YOU DROPPED YOUR HEARING AID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: No I didn’t, I could hear you just fine this whole time we’ve been talking!
Friend picks up hearing aid and shoves it in my ear, or at least pretends to.
Friend: Lina, you dropped your hearing aid.
Me: No, I didn’t!!!!
EDIT POST 213: That first quotation should be “mortal sins”, not “capital sins”. Language crossover fail.
136-Squeeee!! I love that show!
211- Searched it. Groucho Marx. Just something i wanted to do….
Fridgey, I have to ask you something. You’re an atheist, obviously. You don’t believe in heaven or hell or anything like that. This life’s all you get, in your opinion. Therefore I wonder: is it really your belief that, in the short amount of time you get here on Earth, the best, most enjoyable, most fulfilling, etc., way to spend your life is by hastening your imminent death through unhealthy habits such as alcohol whilst, as your end draws nigh, wasting your time bickering with middle schoolers? Somehow this does not make sense in my eyes. Or is there another reason you choose to carry on with people half your age?
At some point, the usually forbearing GAPAs might find themselves provoked into zapping non-quotation-bearing posts on the Quotations thread.
Oh! Er, ah–sorry! *offers sincerest apology pies*
Yoda: “Yes, run! Yes, a Jedi’s strength flows from the Force. But beware of the dark side. Anger, fear, aggression; the dark side of the Force are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight. If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will, as it did Obi-Wan’s apprentice.”
Luke: “Vader… Is the dark side stronger?”
Yoda: “No, no, no. Quicker, easier, more seductive.”
Luke: “But how am I to know the good side from the bad?”
Yoda: “You will know… when you are calm, at peace, passive. A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack.”
I love Yoda.
Haha I saw this sign with yoda on it once that said “can we yes” instead of yes we can and lol I was excessively amused
Here’s my lame quote to add to the thread!
“Dreams surely are difficult, confusing, and not everything in them is brought to pass for mankind. For fleeting dreams have two gates: one is fashioned of horn and one of ivory. Those which pass through the one of sawn ivory are deceptive, bringing tidings which come to nought, but those which issue from the one of polished horn bring true results when a mortal sees them.”
From the Odyssey! I keep looking for this one quote from the Odyssey but the multiplicity of translations has thus far thwarted all my efforts. ALAS!
218: It takes me five minutes to write an answer here, and in the meantime I’m watching a Bill Hicks stand up show. Besides, you should know by now that I’m a polemical junkie. I’ve even used that term before on this site.
However, I think it’s funny that instead of turning to counter-arguments to my coherent and well-thought out stance, you resort to completely senseless ad-hominems. Is it an inability to point out fallacies in my argument combined with a general dislike of my persona? The alcohol reference is also both untrue and unnecessary. Untrue because in this stress-based culture we have in the West, the guy who drinks a beer each day and takes some time for his own indulgence is gonna live longer than the guy who goes through life shaking and has a heart attack at 50. Besides, you’ll discover the delectable wonders of the wide variety of beers, whiskeys and ales (I don’t really care for any of the others) yourself some day.
On a slightly related note…
“If you think drugs have never done anything for you then you better go home and throw all your music records away, ’cause those guys where high as hell when they wrote that. I mean, the Beatles were so high they even let Ringo sing a few songs!”
– Bill Hicks
“I swear it on my own mother’s grave.”
“Does she have a grave?”
“Oh, yes. I put her in there myself. And when I found her trying to crawl out, I put her back in.”
-The Other Mother and Coraline in the book
213 – For the last time, criticism isn’t healthy if it’s constant, persistent, and non-constructive!
223- Coraline! Yay!
“The thing I hate about an argument is that it always interrupts a discussion.”
– G.K. Chesterton
Really people, this is a Quotations thread.
*is trying to stay way out of this argument*
From an early script for the movie Contact. In the actual movie, this exchange is different:
Palmer Joss: What has science done for you lately?
Larry King: Besides letting me broadcast this program all over the world?
223: Says you. Any first hand experience? And by the way, my criticism is neither perpetual nor non-constructive.
“You can steal my women, but don’t mess with my whiskey.”
“Duke had this daughter, Lala, they named her, she was 4. it was his first child and he had always been careful not to have children, fearing they would murder him somehow, but now he was insane and she delighted him, she knew everything that Duke was thinking, there was that line that ran from her to him, from him to her.”
– Charles Bukowski
I think that second one is just a beautiful portrayal of the joy a child can bring into the life of a despairing victim of society.
224: *is trying to stay out of this argument as well*
Oh, and I-Man, salt is flammable. I’ve done it myself.
Star Trek quotes!
“Suddenly it’s like the laws of physics went right out the window!”
“And why shouldn’t they? They’re so inconvenient!”
Geordi LaForge and Q in Star Trek, The Next Generation (TNG)
“Bones, I want the impossible checked out too.”
Kirk in The Original Series (TOS)
“We don’t have the time to talk about time, or changes in the time line.”
Troi in First Contact
“I feel like there’s something I forgot…”
“What?”
“I don’t know… Oh well, it’s not important.”
*countdown starts*
“Oh wait! I never leave home with out this!”
*inserts tape* *lound rock music plays*
“Wahoooo!!!”
Zefram Cockrane & William Riker in First Conact, as they’re about to take off.
213- Oh, I have personal experience, all right. “Personal” meaning having gone through it myself, not subjected someone else to that kind of treatment. I would not have said that if my claim was “unfounded” in reality. Also, although you perhaps “respect” the opinions of people older and wiser than you, etc., etc., you have not once stopped to think that perhaps your “ability” is not “superior” to ours. Some of us are only a couple of years younger than you. May I remind you that although you may believe that we are infinitely younger and more immature than you, most of us aren’t as young as you think? I, for example, am fourteen, and I suppose you think that’s too young to be able to make your own decisions or something like that and are about to tell me so. However, I believe that I’m old enough to have an opinion, and I don’t need to be constantly questioning that opinion to believe in it. And although you think your “criticism” is constructive and inoffensive, in actual fact it has offended several people; therefore it is offensive.
I apologize for not attaching any quotes to this post; I have some, but I will refrain from posting them, because Elias will almost certainly attack them for having no “intellectual value.”
Hey, calm down, EVERYBODY! That was an order! Now, take a deep breath and count to ten. Please.
A quotation means that you are QUOTING somebody or something (e.g. a movie). That is what this thread is for. It is also for sayings, proverbs, and slightly crazy dialogues from math class. Why? Because SOMEBODY SAID THEM. Now, while I’ll admit that excerpts from a movie might be hard for someone who hasn’t seen the movie to understand, that is not a reason to ban such QUOTATIONS. I mean, “Sanity is overrated” is self-contained and -explanatory, yet it is hardly an intellectual statement. People will quote what they please, and they will do the chicken dance as well, if they so desire. And besides, sometimes something that is entirely normal in context is hilarious when seen by itself. Take this one: “Who on Earth wears a stereo as underwear????” We were discussing patterned undergarments, but it sounds very random with out that knowledge.
Think about it. QUIETLY.
Hlade’s Law: If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person — they will find an easier way to do it.
“Murphy’s Law, short and simple: The Universe is conspiring against you. Deal with it.”
– ME
“Nobody likes me anyway, and they won’t, no matter how hard I try. Not to mention I won’t like myself if I do try. So why try?” -Me
Every person takes the limits for their own field of vision for the limits of the world. – Arthur Schopenhauer
Pessimist: One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both. -O scar Wilde
Optimist: One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses to close his eyes, stuff his fingers in his ears, and hum loudly. – Me
228 – Same here. I can’t remember how many times my dad has criticized me, but it’s too many to count.
226_You certainly don’t have the burden to correct us. You’re really not in a position of authority.
Two are better than one, but a three-ply cord is not easily broken.
Kohelet
228: I never claimed to have “abilities” superior to yours. You attack my criticism for being non-constructive and offensive. It is neither. A non-constructive criticism would have been “your quotes suck”. I neither used such aggressive language nor did I fail from saying exactly why I was criticizing them and what could be done to improve them. Hence, “constructive criticism”. It doesn’t have to be sugar coated in euphemisms, you know. Same goes for “offensive”. Just because someone takes offense does not mean that I am being offensive. Many Muslims take offense at seeing a woman unveiled. That doesn’t mean that the women are being offensive. See the fallacy?
Anyway, I don’t at all think that 14 is too young to make your own decisions. You’re completely misinterpreting my position. Anyone can make decisions. They just have to be able to back them up. The problem is that so many people make unfounded decisions, or decisions based on lack of information, or even worse, misinformation, that I can’t help but be highly critical of everything I see. I would imagine that most people with a certain intellectual desire would also wish to have someone or something to confront their decisions and ideas with. The only thing your age has anything to do with is the “offense taking” at completely inoffensive posts.
Finally, in no way do I wish to stifle anyone here. I will not criticize quotations for not having “any intellectual value”, as long as they are self-sufficient, and I would hate to think that someone was reticent about their quotations out of fear of criticism.
228+230: If both of you feel that frequent criticism has damaged your courage and self-confidence, than maybe your not dealing with it the right way. I certainly don’t know enough about your private situations to say any more than this, but it’s an impression I get. If criticism pounds you into paranoia, you’re probably reacting the wrong way. My parents criticize me every day. If they have a point, I take it in, and either act upon it or consciously ignore it. If they don’t, I tell them so, and leave it at that. Anyway, I definitely cannot be accused of frequent criticism. As far as I can remember, this is the first time I’ve actually directly criticized an individual on this board. There is a difference between s***-stirring and criticizing.
231: It’s not a burden, it’s a privilege. And I don’t have to be in a position of authority to criticize on an open forum. I would like to remind you that this is the internet, not a classroom.
I am going to completely ignore the heated discussion going on here and run off to the YSBB where I randomly finagle my friend, because we need a thread for ‘funny’ quotations and ‘serious’ quotations.
Elias, Frigid, whoever you are and will be, I don’t think you should argue your point any further. We’ve seen what your point is.
In my class last year, we’d do speeches each month and do Oreo Cookie Comments-two compliments and a constructive criticism. You’re only doing point-blank criticism…
A QUOTATIONS thread is a place you can put something that someone or something said, it’s not a place to criticize each other! You guys can criticize me all you want for saying this, I don’t care, I’m used to that.
Look, authority is something that none of us has! A classroom? Excuse me, mister, even a ten-year-old (like me) knows constructive criticism and criticism are two different things. Can we just say that we’ve all argued our points so far they’re dulls, there is no point to treating each other like idiots anymore?
We’re all Musers here.
Let’s keep it that way.
“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain – and most fools do.” — Dale Carnegie
234: Excellent! XD
“[O]ne mustn’t criticize other people on grounds where he can’t stand perpendicular himself.”
“A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn’t make fun of another man’s cross-eyed aunt.”
“I would rather have my ignorance than another man’s knowledge, because I have so much more of it.”
“Ah, well, I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God’s fool, and all His work must be contemplated with respect.”
–All various Mark Twain quotes
236: Could you cite the source for the last one? Twain was an avid atheist.
Oh and if those were directed at me, well… None of them apply. 234 does, somewhat, as we are all fools in the end.
(236, 237) Mark Twain wrote it in a letter to William Dean Howells, apologizing for a disastrous speech he had made in December 1877 at a formal dinner party celebrating the 70th birthday of the poet John Greenleaf Whittier. Twain tried to poke a little fun at Whittier, Ralph Waldo Emerson, and Oliver Wendell Holmes — at the time, three of America’s most distinguished writers — but the humor fell flat and resulted in bad publicity for him. You can find out more about it by googling Twain Whittier Atlantic speech.
(221) Axa: It’s in Book 19. Penelope dreams that Odysseus has returned and is about to rescue her from the men who have taken over her house, but she’s not sure whether the dream is trustworthy. (SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER: it is, and he does.)
233- I’m certainly not going to criticize you, Umbramew! I completely agree. FS, I’m going to fall back on a cliché here, but it applies: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Okay? Post quotations, if you want, but don’t start arguments about other peoples’. And this goes for everyone else, too. If Elias or anyone else–could be me, even–posts a quote that you see as offensive, just ignore it, ‘kay? Take it to Hot Topics if it’s that bad. I really don’t see why we need “constructive criticism” about quotations, when most of the time we didn’t even say the statements being quoted!
Mystery Quote!
“Nice to meet you, Rose. Now RUN!”
“You?”
“Yes, me.”
*He sticks his hand into the agent’s chest, he begins to transform*
“Me, me, me.”
*He takes his hand out, the other agent is now a clone*
“Me too.”
– The Matrix: Reloaded
“Have you ever had a dream, Neo, that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to wake from that dream? How would you know the difference between the dream world… and the real world?”
– The Matrix
*Neo is asleep at his computer, the screen suddenly goes blank*
Wake up, Neo…
*he wakes up and looks at the screen*
T-h-e
“What?”
The Matrix has you…
“What the hell?”
*he tries to exit out, it doesn’t work*
Follow the white rabbit.
*he tries another button, it still doesn’t work*
Knock, knock, Neo.
– The Matrix
“Do not try and bend the spoon. That’s impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth.”
“What truth?”
“There is no spoon.”
“There is no spoon?”
“Then you’ll see that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.”
– The Matrix
“I know you’re out there. I can feel you now. I know that you’re afraid… you’re afraid of us. You’re afraid of change. I don’t know the future. I didn’t come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how it’s going to begin. I’m going to hang up this phone, and then I’m going to show these people what you don’t want them to see. I’m going to show them a world without you. A world without rules and controls, without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you.”
– The Matrix
“What are you trying to tell me? That I can dodge bullets?”
“No, Neo. I’m trying to tell you that when you’re ready… you won’t have to.”
– The Matrix
“Operator.”
“Mr. Wizard, get me the hell out of here.”
– The Matrix
“You hear that, Mr. Anderson? That is the sound of inevitability. It is the sound of your death. Goodbye, Mr. Anderson.”
“My name… is Neo.”
– The Matrix
“We are in an enemy vessel, sir. I do not wish to be shot down on our way to our own funeral.”
“Good thinking.”
– Star Trek IV
“Don’t tell me. You’re from outer space.”
“No, I’m from Iowa. I only work in outer space.”
– mystery source
“Kidney dyalisis…”
“Dyalisis? My God, what is this, the Dark Ages?”
Mystery Quote!
“Wow, this Kix cereal is good tasting!”
“ And it’s good for you!”
*shoves cereal away* “Nah!”
241- “Don’t tell me. You’re from outer space.â€
“No, I’m from Iowa. I only work in outer space.â€
– mystery source
– Star Trek: The Voyage Home! I love that movie! You know, to keep things a mystery, maybe you shouldn’t sandwich them between two others from the same source?
“Each snowflake in an avalanche pleads not guilty.” -Stanislaw J. Lee
You know, I’d love to quote the entire poem “Riddle” here, but I don’t think anyone would appreciate that. It’s amazing.
“Foolish people have nothing to say, but they say it anyway.” – Me
“It isn’t hard to say, ‘You’re right. I’m sorry.” What’s hard is meaning it.” – Me
“Brain freeze. Occupational hazard of working in Florida in the summer.” -Joel, from a story I’m writing.
From the Mugglenet wall of shame:
“Wow! I’m sexy and I get free pineapples! How cool is that??”
245- Ah, the Wall, how I love it!
“Genius by birth, slacker by choice.”
“In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.” – Attributed to John Adams
“The Hebrews have done more to civilize men than any other nation. If I were an atheist, and believed blind eternal fate, I should still believe that fate had ordained the Jews to be the most essential instrument for civilizing the nations.” – Attributed to John Adams
Never rise to speak till you have something to say; and when you have said it, cease. -John Witherspoon
We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don’t like? -Jean Cocteau
It is better to keep silent, and be thought a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt.
SudoRandom – I used to be obsessed with Mugglenet. Is that the one where someone tells Site Moderator Guy that he will burn in hell where there are pineapples? Something like that, anyway.
Mystery Quote:
“He who laughs last…..
thinks slowest.”
Mystery Quote:
“Ahhhhhhh! Run!!!!! It’s Godzilla!!!!!!”
“It looks like Godzilla, but due to international copyright laws, it’s not!”
“Still, we should run like it is Godzilla!!!!”
“But it’s not.”
*run*
RainbowStar (i liked it the old way! Oh, well. Your name.) The full context is:
“Hello Mr. Emerson,
You are going to hell for your satanistic rituals. You might be sexy but that is no reason to defy GOD. I will laugh at you when you are down in hell eating pineapples and I in up in heaven being sexy.”
What do they have against pineapples?
“This is what I love about this job! Planes turn into cars, cars turn into boats…” -The Russian guy from Road Rovers.
“James Bond does not fly commercial.” – Joel, again.
“And then, a brigade of malicious man-eating fruit descended upon the poor, innocent, unsuspecting children!” — Me
“Do you know what it reminds me of? Tastee Wheat. Did you ever eat Tastee Wheat?”
“No, but technically, neither did you.”
“That’s exactly my point! Exactly! Because you have to wonder, how do the machines know what Tastee Wheat tasted like? Maybe what I think Tastee Wheat tasted like actually tastes like oatmeal, or… tuna fish. That makes you wonder about a lot of things – you take chicken, for example. Maybe they didn’t know what to make chicken taste like, which is why it tastes like everything. And maybe they-”
“Shut up, Mouse.”
– The Matrix
SFTDP, but I just remembered another one.
“God, I’m going to love this class.”
-me regarding French I
“‘Erre es korakas, Blinky” Dionysus cursed. “I will have your soul!'”
‘Um, he’s a video game character,’ I said.”
– The Last Olympian, by Rick Riordan
“I think we should snitch that boat.”
“I think that’s a stupid idea.”
– A friend and I. It seemed funny, at the time, probably because we were already hysterical.
249: Austin Powers: Goldmember
256: Correct.
Me at the Huntsville airport: “I promised myself I wouldn’t drool.”
A few minutes later, at the Space Center: “Okay, now I’m gonna drool.”
“Doesn’t it hurt?”
“Of course it hurts. It’s not minding that matters.”
-Lawrence of Arabia
At our school’s career fair in sixth grade:
Brookhaven guy: “Do you want to come work at Brookhaven Labs when you grow up?”
Me: “Uh, maybe.”
Brookhaven guy: “Do you have any experience with particle accelerators?”
Mystery quote (the source has a bit of a cult following):
“As part of a required test protocol, our previous statement saying that we would not monitor this chamber was an outright fabrication. Good job. As part of a required test protocol, we will stop enhancing the truth in three, two, o-” *static*
261- Portal! Yea! (I played a little of it…)
“All plants are my children and all children are my plants!”
– My friend, A.
A repost of my previous mystery quote:
“Nice to meet you, Rose. Now RUN!â€
262 – Yep. I’ve played the flash version through, and I sooooooo want to get the real game.
264-Get the orange box!
“Studies have shown that aperture test subjects can carry out complex tasks while enduring the most intense pain.”
or
“You may find some objects will be vital to your success. Remember, if at first you don’t succeed, you fail, and the simulation will be terminated.”
“It may come as a surprise to you, but not all knights were nice. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that they were wearing tin cans in the hot sun all day.” – Chris Hart.
265 – Actually, that was a question I had – if I don’t really want the other games in the orange box, should I get the orange box or Portal by itself?
267- I have the Orange Box, and all of the other games are also great. Portal, I haven’t played much of, but I watched my brother play it… Team Fortress 2 is my favorite.
*While falling off a cliff*
“Oh look, I found a pack of cards!”
“Oh great! Now we can play Go Fish! Do you have any coffins?”
-Pip and Otis from “Back At The Barnyard.”
“Unless the angel of death is going through a Rube Goldberg stage.”
-Abby from NCIS
“Ok, you caught me with the red hands.”
-King Julien from, “The Penguins of Madagascar.”
You obviously see that I watch children’s shows…. But some of them are really funny, especially “Back At The Barnyard.” And King Julien’s voice from “Penguins of Madagascar” is hilarious….
267-Depends. Are you sure you wouldn’t like half life 2, and tf2? Perhaps you can’t play M games? In that case, just go with Portal. But, Portal is about as expensive as the whole orange box, so…
268-But TF2 is just mindless killing! That’s my least favorite…
“I say! Anyone up for a game of tennis?”
“I say! Libel! Catch!”
*Ball hits Libel in eye-fake blood ensues*
Libel:”Crikey!” *Throws tennis racket which impales lady.”
*Intentionally false mayhem with happy music ensues*
-Monty Python’s Flying Circus-Salad Days.
One of my favorite sketches…
269 – Yeah. I can’t play M games and I don’t really want to. And Portal is actually like $10 cheaper.
“And now for something completely different.”
-Monty Python
“A passport, as I’m sure you know is a document that one shows to government officials whenever one reaches a border between countries, so the officials can learn who you are, where you were born, and how you look when photographed unflatteringly.”
-Lemony Snicket
“If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say, in a pleasant and hopeful voice, `Well, this isn’t too bad. I don’t have my left arm anymore, but at least nobody will ask me whether I am right-handed or left-handed,’ but most of us would say something more along the lines of `Aaaaah! My arm! My arm!'”
-Lemony Snicket, again.
270-Figured. If portal is actually cheaper(amazon or an electronics store?), then just go with that. In fact, just go with that anyway.
“Nothing says true love like a giant zombie hand coming out of your wedding cake.”
-Ace Of Cakes
“Duff is… anti- cupcake?”
-Ace Of Cakes
Mom: “Don’t lean on me, I’ll fall over!”
Me: *leans on Mom*
Mom: *doesn’t fall over*
“I was working on the proof of one of my poems all the morning, and took out a comma. In the afternoon I put it back again.”
-Oscar Wilde
263- The Doctor in the first episode of the new series, “Rose.”
-sniff- I miss Doctor Who.
“Um, yes. You look like a Chinese person with three eyes.” -Armada
“By the way, your 42 has two heads.” -me
“I can’t remember my own password.” -Armada
“Her mom came over and I said Hi, with my nostrils, apparently.” -SudoRandom
276- I finally found this gem:
me: SENT
Armada did not receive your chat.
me: Hmm…
Armada did not receive your chat.
me: Why aren’t you recieving my chats?
Armada did not receive your chat.
me: How can I abuse this?
Armada did not receive your chat.
me: I LOVE YOU, ARMADA! WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL!
Armada: What?
((I mean, really. Of all the times for the chat to go through…
But I was joking. I know you guys are going to tease me about it, but I was joking.
Although, if you look back through chats, there is evidence to the contrary… I think Rq found some…))
me: <3
Argh.
I clicked the wrong stupid smiley.
SudoRandom: What? You love me?
Ooh lala!
I’ll have to break the news to I-Man, though. ((No, I don’t like him. SR, being SR, was at that point constantly telling me I did, however, because of something he thought he saw on the SF RPG.))
I hope it doesn’t turn him against me.
We used to be best friends, and it would be so cliched if we became worst enemies.
me: Okay, just leave me alone for a second. My mom needs me to do something for her.
SudoRandom: Okay, honey.
Hehehe.
Should I post this on R&R?
“RQ LOVES ME, WHAT DO I DO?”
me: Actually, it was Gmail’s fault.
SudoRandom: I guess I will.
me: was what I meant to click, and you know it.
SudoRandom: No, it was a Freudian slip.
275- Correct.
277- Reminds me of a time on SpaceVidcast when Ben and some people with webcams were video chatting and ignoring the comments bar. We tried to get Ben’s attention, and he finally responded when Uncle wrote:
“BEN! Acknowledge our presence in the next five minutes or we’ll release the hounds!”
278 – Heh heh, I remember that on the SF RPG. Had I known about that conversation, I would have been laughing like I am now
Adapted from something found around the web…
My life goals?
Drive a mech, visit Mars, explore the nether realm, world domination, get super powers, join the Ghostbusters, go back in time, see Paris Hilton lose all her money .
Mystery quote:
“Sitting in an English garden, waiting for the sun
If the sun don’t come, you get a tan from standing in the English rain.”
“I didn’t mean to.”
“Didn’t mean to?? You put your sword through his head!”
“…Oh dear, is he alright?”
-Monty Python and the Holy Grail
277- Zomg! I’m in hysterics here. That’s so funny!
282- It’s from a Beatles song… “I Am the Walrus”, no?
“Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.”
– Groucho Marx
“It’s not a weapon, sorry. It’s an intricate glass model of a tree! Yippee!”
CPM, Holiday Ball
“O, I am fortune’s fool!”
“Now the world has gone to bed,
Darkness won’t engulf my head,
I can see by infra-red,
How I hate the night.”
He paused to gather the artistic and emotional strength to tackle the next verse.
“Now I lay me down to sleep,
Try to count electric sheep,
Sweet dream wishes you can keep,
How I hate the night.”
– Marvin the Paranoid Android ♥
okay I find this really hilarious
“”[Thoreau] is as ugly as sin, long-nosed, queer-mouthed, and with uncouth and rustic, though courteous manners, corresponding very well with such an exterior. But his ugliness is of an honest and agreeable fashion, and becomes him much better than beauty.”
So says Nathaniel Hawthorne, aka the smokin hot “Lord Byron” of the transcendentalists. I can’t get over this stuff, it’s too great…
“What about the others?”
“…What others?”
“The ones that want out.”
“Obviously they will be freed.”
“I have your word?”
“What do you think I am? Human?”
-The Oracle and the Architect
“…and if we are lucky, a man to check for weapons.”
“And if we’re unlucky?”
“Then there will be many men.”
-Seraph and Trinity
From George’s Cosmic Treasure Hunt. (Paraphrased)
Eric: “Have you seen any kids around here? The security camera says they went this way?”
Emmett: “Kids? No, sir, no kids around here, not kids, not ever. I’ve been working here for a very long time and I’ve never seen any kids in here.”
Eric: “You have? Because you seem kind of short…”
Emmett: “Oh, I’m really ancient. I’m so old I shrank.”
Eric: “I see, Doctor-”
Emmett: “Professor, uh… Spock.”
Eric: “Professor Spock?”
Emmett: “Yeah, of the University of… Enterprise.”
(Thinking that name would fool ANYBODY isn’t very smart, thinking it would fool an astronomer is just plain stupid.)
A very surreal conversation my dad had with the lady who sits at the entrance of the beach to make sure the cars have stickers
My Dad: Hi, yeah, we’re just turning around, but is there a spot anyways?
Lady: Well, you need a sicker.
D: I have one.
L: That one’s expired.
D: Oh, it’s on my other car.
“In layman’s terms, speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out.”
-GLaDOS in Portal
SFTDP
“In the West, a monster with a little mustache, in the East, a monster with a big mustache. That is all I need to know about politics.”
“You annoy me, therefore I exist.”
“I don’t know her.”
“You lived with her in a cellar for three days. What more do you want to know about her?”
John (pulls a season ticket out of his soup): What’s this?
Ringo: It’s a season ticket, what do you think it is?
John: Oh, I always like a little seasoning in my soup.
SFTDP I meant to say that my quote was from Help!.
“Why do prophets talk in riddles?”
“To screw us over?”
-My English teacher and some kid in my English class
This is a twenty five minute chat with MissSwann, SudoRandom, RoseQuartz, Armada, and myself. It was crazy. (SR, I have a chair which I can do serious damage with!)
Zinc has joined
RoseQuartz has joined
Armada has joined
SudoRandom: Fah!
Zinc: Y hallo thar, young chitlin…
RoseQuartz: I guess we’re switching it over to here, then?
Zinc: Yes…
Armada: Oh, gosh. This is going to be confusing…
Sure.
Heh.
RoseQuartz: Or no, wait, don’t.
SudoRandom: Let’s see what kind of cult we can establish this time?
Zinc: deleting other chats…
Done.
RoseQuartz: We should continue the DN conversation in a different win– Dow. *sigh*
Zinc: Or not.
SudoRandom: Yes, you should.
RoseQuartz: SR will kill us if we do it here.
Armada: Windows, windows, windows…. Enough with the windows. XS
XD
XD XD
RoseQuartz: XD
Zinc: *facepalm*
Armada: XD XD XD?….
SudoRandom: That’s why I use mac.
Armada: Um…so do I….
RoseQuartz: *kyaa* No more XDs. Kay?
Armada: Kay. XD
XD
MissSwann has joined
Zinc: There’s a Widnows XD.
Armada:
Zinc: Hey!
Armada: Oh. Uh-oh….
MissSwann: AHH IM UNDER ATTACK!
Armada: TOO MANY PEOPLE!
RoseQuartz: Attack?
Zinc: From what?
Armada: How so, MS?
MissSwann: XD
SudoRandom: XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD!
Armada: From XDs?
MissSwann: suddenly evryones typing to me
Zinc: Wow, synchronized messages…
MissSwann: and im like WHOA
Zinc: I’m not…
RoseQuartz: Heh. I keep getting emails from a bunch of random people.
MissSwann: im trying to print my organ music for this month
Zinc: I’m chatting with a stalker, how bout that?
RoseQuartz: Which of us are you referring to?
SudoRandom: TOO MANY GREEN THINGYS!
Zinc: Which one do you think?
RoseQuartz: Huh?
MissSwann: i profile stalk on facebook
}:)
SudoRandom: Aah!
P’Awesome!
Zinc: It’s RQ… who else?
Armada: What do you mean?
SudoRandom: }:-)
RoseQuartz: Oh, thanks.
Zinc: She manged to get my email…
SudoRandom: Haha!
RoseQuartz: It was CTN’s fault. Really.
SudoRandom: <3
Whoops/
.
Zinc: How did she get my email???
MissSwann: blpblpblp
SudoRandom: Freudian slip.
MissSwann: who were u hearting???
RoseQuartz: You posted on her blog!
Zinc: O rly.
SudoRandom: Or not.
RoseQuartz: Me. Duh.
I'm getting confused.
Armada: I…can't….keep…up…..
SudoRandom: 'Twas brillig, in the slithy tothes…
Armada: And the slythy toves!
Zinc: Somehow… I feel sick.
Armada: Jeez!
Why?
RoseQuartz: Me too….
SudoRandom: Do chickens have large talons?
MissSwann: JABBERWOCK!
XD
Armada: XD
RoseQuartz: KYAAAAAAAAA!
Armada: Uh-oh.
MissSwann: NAPOLEON DYNAMITE!
SudoRandom: What?
SD
S
S
MissSwann: brb
SudoRandom: Ja, ND!
Zinc: Oh… durrr.
SudoRandom: I want to learn the end dance for my talent show.
RoseQuartz: I am confuzzled.
Zinc: *chooses not to include self in madness*
SudoRandom: *sits in the middle of the floor and hums*
MissSwann: I am back@!
blpblpblp
SudoRandom: *hums stars and stripes*
RoseQuartz: *chooses to walk over into corner and put face to wall for a second*
SudoRandom: What does blp mean?
Armada: *joins SR in humming**
No idea.
Zinc: I'm listening to Malchik Gay…
SudoRandom: Be kind to our fine feathered friends
RoseQuartz: I'm not listening to anything at the moment…
Zinc: The sloth!
RoseQuartz: What?
MissSwann: Im listening to New Perspective by panic atthe disco
SudoRandom: For a duck may be somebody's MUUUUUUUTTHHER
Zinc: Slothi are feathered.
SudoRandom: *googles lyrics*
Armada: How are sloths feathered?
MissSwann: sloths aare my bff
RoseQuartz: Yeah, uh, I thought they had fur.
SudoRandom: DONUTS ARE MY <3
!!!
True love!
Zinc: I found it in a great MattMelloNear vid…
*DO NOT REPLY TO DN STUFF*
MissSwann: Feather!
Armada: Chad!
Zinc: Poodle hair!
RoseQuartz: *hums Stars And Stripes into kazoo*
MissSwann: Granny smith@!
Zinc: *wax paper and string S&S, what now?*
MissSwann: Make a punch bowl!
SudoRandom: Paunch berry?
Armada: Ew.
Zinc: Or grape?
MissSwann: MELOOOOOOOON
Zinc: *laugh*
RoseQuartz: *is addict* *is done now* *I think Zinc knows what I was thinking*
SudoRandom: Don't kill all our fine feathered friends…
MissSwann: Brids
Birds
RoseQuartz: *kazoo*
MissSwann: piano
SudoRandom: There aren't enough for us…
Armada: Enough what?
Zinc: *clarinet, imbecile…*
MissSwann: peeplz
RoseQuartz: *hands kazoos if that's what you were talking about*
SudoRandom: I love you, Zinc!
Armada: *kazoo*
Um….
:-/
MissSwann: you all are making me hyper!
RoseQuartz: *cracks up*
MissSwann:
8D
SudoRandom: *icebreaker*
Armada:
Zinc: That better be a fruedian slip, you waffle.
MissSwann: 8D
8DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Armada: Yeah, he always says that, you know, Zinc. It wasn't.
SudoRandom: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
RoseQuartz: Ehmm. That being a Freudian slip would mean he actually does love you, Zinc.
SudoRandom: LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!
MissSwann: <3
Armada: Good point.
Um.
Zinc: *ducks*
MissSwann: <3
RoseQuartz: *is cracking up over here*
<3
Armada: joins RQ in cracking up*
RoseQuartz: My heart is the best! Ohhhh! What now!
SudoRandom: HEY THE HEART TURNED RED! ROMANCE!
MissSwann: <3 <3 <3
grrr
SudoRandom: NO! MISSSWANNS IS THE BEST!
MissSwann: they wont go different
Zinc: *screams* *tries to claw way out of chat*
Armada: Like this isn't romance?….
MissSwann: YAY!
SudoRandom: <3
<3
MissSwann: my what?
SudoRandom: <3
Armada: This is…..
SudoRandom: <3
<3
<3
<3
<
3
RoseQuartz: *is CRACKING UP over here*
Armada: !>!!>!!?!?!?!
SudoRandom: Hello?
Zinc!
MissSwann: ZINC
AINC
ZINC
ZINV
ZINIC
(that was a fail)
SudoRandom: <3
Whoops/
.
Zinc: Hello?
MissSwann: Hello there!
SudoRandom: Hi, gals!
Zinc: Hi, male.
MissSwann: I want ebryone to come back
SudoRandom: I'm here!
MissSwann: ello
im emailing lunatl
Zinc has left
SudoRandom: Well…
MissSwann: … my friend just sent me a panda on facebook
SudoRandom: Hi?
MissSwann: hi
Zinc has joined
SudoRandom: There.
Happy?
Zinc: Maybe… does anyone still have that dialogue open???
SudoRandom: Which one?
MissSwann: Wha?
Zinc: The one where you proclaimed your so-called love to me…
SudoRandom: I do indeed, lovey-dovey.
Zinc: *screams*
MissSwann: XD
And so it ends.
Zinc, how’d you guys chat with each other?
ME:
“Yes, but I’m not, The world works in strange ways.”
after my mom told me I was supposed to be brushing my teeth
“I once had a dream in which a Shinx acted like a meerkat…”
“And today all my dreams will come true,
Good Morning Balti-wait. Why am I singing Hairspary? Kill me now, please.“
Avalon– I probably can’t tell you, because the GAPAs will probably snip me [Yes. –Admin.]
SFTDP. Zinc, you’re missing a largeish bit in the middle… was that intended?
Armada: <3
MIssSwann: NOOO ZINC DONT LEEEEEV
SudoRandom: WHERE DID YOU GO, ZINC?
Armada: STOP, everyone! *cracks up again*
SudoRandom: I love you!
me: Ehem. I think we'd better stop it with the…. oh, cake.
Zinc: I won't, jeevas christ…
Armada: She didn't leave…did she?
No..
.
MissSwann: If she did I will find her and be hyper to her.
Zinc: But maybe I will… I think SR has scarred me for life.
MissSwann: XD
SudoRandom: Gah!
No!
I'm sorry, darling!
Zinc: *shrieks*
me: No saying it's my fault, guys, okay? Even though it might be, for giving him the idea….
SudoRandom: *chases*
MissSwann: haha
Armada: I didn't say it was, RQ!…..
MissSwann: hes a funny person
SudoRandom: Oh…
Zinc: *runs*
MissSwann: BLPBLPBLP
SudoRandom: Loving makes the world go around
the world go around
the world go around
Armada: AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
me: Sudo, if you want Zinc to stay, you'd better stop that.
SudoRandom: money makes the world go around
Zinc: No…
MissSwann: hihihi
SudoRandom: it makes the world go ROOOOOUUUND!
Armada: Oh yeah, that's much better…
SudoRandom: That blinking blanking sound,
MissSwann: i am annoying someone on a stupid online game
SudoRandom: it makes the world go round.
Zinc: *headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk*
me: Money money money… must be funny…. in a rich man's world…
SudoRandom: The birds and the bees
are flying in the trees
it's a sign from above
me: Money money money…. always sunny…. in a rich man's world….
SudoRandom: that we are in love
MissSwann: XD
that is epic
Zinc: *scream* Conflicting songs!
SudoRandom: the birds and the bees
are flying in the trees
me: *will continue singing ABBA until someone shuts up*
Armada: I think I'm going to leave. This is too crazy.
me: Me too.
SudoRandom: it's a sign from above
me: *leaves*
MissSwann: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
SudoRandom: just for you and me
Armada: *leaves*
Armada has left
MissSwann:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SudoRandom: Just me and Zinc, then?
And MissSwann?
Zinc: What? No, don't leave me here! *emigrates*
MissSwann:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
me: Pssst, Zinc, over here!
“As long as youu’rrre minnnne…”
Me, while hugging a textbook.
“Oooooo. Onthewallsthedayswereaddedluckilythosewallswerepadde-” -slams hands on desktop and sighs- .”..And it’s not that fast.”
Me, talking to myself
Did my post get zapped, GAPAs? It was a part in the middle of the chat that Zinc was missing.
(298) They’ve all met each other offline, so they’ve had the opportunity to exchange contact information that we can’t allow on the blog.
Mmm. I wish I was older and lived in a state with more MBers.
Seeing as I’m in 6th grade and live in Florida and will soon be moving to Las Vegas, neither of which have Musers around…
Well, I think I’ve discovered the reason I do Muser scripts.
“I’m an invisible ninja and you can’t see me!”
~Me
Uhh, my post just disappeared. What’s wrong with it exactly?
Our spam filter thought it was spam. Reading it, I’m inclined to agree. At least, posting online chats on a Quotations thread (or anywhere else) seems un-MB-like.
(305) I didn’t see anything. Although I should point out that these chats keep ending up in spam, so they may have been flushed. They also stretch the notion of “quotations” past the breaking point.
Here’s a quote!
Me: Ooh, chizz!
L: Huh?
Me: Book slang.
L: Ohhhh…..
And another quote!
“I assure you, my friends, I am cone sold stober.” he said as he stalked up the stairs, feeling for the wall as if he thought it might escape him. His bedroom door did escape him. “That was a lie.”, Howl remarked as he walked into the wall. “My shining dishonesty shall be the salvation of me.”. He walked into the wall in several different places several times before he finally crashed through his bedroom door, and Sophie could hear him flailing about, saying his bed was dodging.
-Howl’s Moving Castle (In Which Sophie Finds Further Difficulty In Leaving The Castle)
Quote #2 was directly from memory, so you will have to forgive any errors. I memorized that entire part. “Midsummer Day dawned. About the same time it did, Howl crashed through the door with such a noise that…..” It’s the most fun when me and my sister recite it together (with our audience looking at the book and wondering how in the world we memorized it so well)
“See? The skin on my left elbow is stretchier and baggier than the skin on my right elbow! See? See?”
~Me about 30 minutes ago
308- *cracks up* I love that book. And that movie. And… yeah, I love that part…
310: Yeah. When me and L did it to our grandpa, he was stunned. I mean, that’s what-an entire page or so?
311- Heh. Yeah. But you haven’t seen a ton of memorization until you’ve heard The Lady Of Shalott, which I memorized for the ******* Arts and Music Festival and am performing again for the Cabaret. It’s, uhh, hmm. About seven, eight pages, at least?
Do you know, considering the intelligence level of an online MBer chat, such as the ones posted above, it is little surprise that cleverbot conversations end up as they do, with so many of the users being MBers. In fact, I’ve read more sane cleverbot convos, to be honest.
Er, how very odd…..The reply buttons seem to have disappeared, and, no, I am not on IE, and nothing about my computer has changed. Ah, well, whatever.
Re: book passage memorization. I memorized nearly the entire first chapter of “Philosopher’s Stone”, once. However, when I start reciting it to my sis/parents, I don’t get any sort of “Wow, she memorized over a page?” Just a look that says I have completely gone off the deep end, and a comment along the lines they don’t want to hear that I can’t remember my schoolwork……
Luna (412)- Me, too! “Mr. and Mrs. Dursley of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much…” (and on and on until my parents/sister start hitting me in the head.)
315–They were the last people you would expect to be involved with anything strange or mysteries, because they just didn’t hold with such nonsense…..
I think I got up into the middle of the Dumbledore/McGonagall scene, at one point, but then I got too busy with important stuff, and so have forgotten most of what I once knew. *sniffle*
“Quoth the raven, ‘Nevermore.'”
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
shall be lifted – nevermore.”
“WE’RE NERD NINJAS!”
My friend today in chemistry, while we were fencing with metersticks. It was awesome.
314, 315, 317-I have, also. I would recite the next paragraph, telling about Dursley’s non-existant neck and his large mustache, but I’m tired.
This is a rather long one, but here we go…..
“But Mr. Dent, the plans have been available in the local planning office for the last nine months.”
“Oh yes, well, as soon as I heard I went straight round to see them, yesterday afternoon. You hadn’t exactly gone out of your way to call attention to them, had you? I mean, like actually telling anybody or anything.”
“But the plans were on display….”
“On display? I had to go down to the cellar to find them.”
“That’s the display department.”
“With a flashlight.”
“Ah, well the lights had probabaly gone.”
“So had the stairs.”
“But look, you found the notice, didn’t you?”
“Yes.” said Arthour. “Yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sigh on the door saying “Beware of Leopard.”
– The Hitchicker’s Guide To The Galaxy
Yes, yes it is long.
@ 319: Mr. Dursley was the director of a firm called Grunnings, which made drills. He was a big, beefy man, with hardly any neck, although he did have a very large moustache. Mrs. Dursley was thin and blonde, with nearly twice the usual amount of neck, which came in very useful as she spent so much of her time craning over garden fences, spying on the neighbors…..
Oh, sorry, lost control for a second, there.
“The wind is low, the birds will sing
That you are part – of everything”
-mystery source
321- “Dear Prudence” by, of course, the Beatles. Next line: “Won’t you come out to play?”
321 – “Martha My Dear” by The Beatles, I believe.
Er, if I may clarify my post 322: that’s the next line after “Dear Prudence”, which is the line immediately following the mystery quote.
324 – You did get the quote itself right, but the next line (after “Dear Prudence”) is “Won’t you open up your eyes?”
“Well, he hasn’t got religious mania, and he isn’t running around in a circle spouting Gilbert And Sullivan, so I suppose he’s normal”
Mystery Quote!
I may have said these before but oh well.
“Hello, I-”
“Shut up and reboot.”
“… Hey, it work-”
“Shut up and hang up.”
*phone clicks*
“My average call time is improving.”
-Dogbert’s Tech Support
“You’ll need to do a hard reboot. Listen carefully: rent a van and fill it with stolen dynamite. Park it near the power company’s main relay station.”
“Can we talk?”
“Now aim the bazooka at the van…”
-Dogbert’s Tech Support
“Thanks for calling.
… Try turning off your router, your modem, and your computer.
Now turn off your air conditioning, your lights, and your water heater.
Unplug your microwave and defrost your refrigerator.”
“You’re very thorough.”
“Cancel your garbage service, renounce your citizenship – and yank out the phone.”
-Dogbert’s Tech Support
“Never tell lies, even for a good reason. And stay away from press conferences.” – Wayne Hale.
324 – Eh, I get all of the white album confused. You have to admit, i was fairly close.
320: The Dursleys had a small son called Dudley, and in their opinion there was no finer boy anywhere.
The Dursleys had everything they wanted, but they also had a secret, and their greatest fear was that somebody would discover it. They didn’t think they could bear it if anyoje found out about the Potters.
Heh. This is rather entertaing.
Haikus are quite nice
but sometimes, they make no sense!
Refrigerator.
–Cat’s Eye
326: That’s from an Isaac Asimov robot short story. One with Powell and Donovan, from I, Robot. Perhaps Catch That Rabbit?
331-I always heard it:
Haikus are easy
But sometimes they don’t make sense
Refrigerator
332: Yes! I’m surprised someone could get that.
333– I suppose there are different versions of it.
330: Mrs. Potter was Mrs. Dursley’s sister, although they hadn’t met for several years. In fact, Mrs. Dursley usually pretended she didn’t have a sister, as her sister and her good-for-nothing husband were as un-Dursleyish as it was possible to be. The Dursleys shuddered to think what the neighbors would say if the Poters arrived in the street.
336: The Dursleys knew that the Potters had a small son, too, but they had never even seen him. This boy was another good reason for keeping the Potters away;they didn’t want Dudley mixing with a child like that.
This is probabaly going to get to a point were I’m going to have to cheat, y’know.
“As black as the night you got cancer!”
“What is cancer? I thought you said AIDs!”
“Same thing.”
– an episode of Dr. Tran
“And now, Dr. Tran reads your fan letters!”
“No I won’t.”
“Yes he will!”
“I can’t read.”
“Yes, he can!”
“… No, I mean it. I’m just now learning my ABCs!”
“He’s gonna read ’em!”
– another episode of Dr. Tran
337–eh, that’s ok. I had to cheat a very tiny smidgen in my last one.
When Mr. and Mrs. Dursley woke up on the dull, grey Tuesday our story starts, there was nothing about the cloudy sky outside to suggest that strange and mysterious things would soon be happening all over the country. Mr. Dursley hummed as he picked out his most boring tie for work, and Mrs. Dursley gossiped away happily as she wrestled a screaming Dudley into his high chair. None of them noticed a large, tawny owl flutter past the window.
“Ah! si tu savais
Ce que tes yeux me disent”
“A WINNER IS YOU!”
-Fawful in Mario and Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story
339 – At half past eight, Mr. Dursley picked up his suitcase, pecked Mrs. Dursleys on the cheek, and tried to kiss Dudley goodbye but missed, because he was now having a tantrum and throwing his cereal at the walls. “Little tyke” chortled Mr. Dursley as he left the house. He got into his car and baked out of number four’s drive.
342–It was on the corner of the street that Mr. Dursley he noticed the first signs of something mysteriouspeculiar–a cat reading a map. At firstFor a second, Mr. Dursley didn’t realize what he had seen, then jerked his head around to look again.
Strikes indicated minor edits to my memory, made with the aid of the book…..We’re getting into difficult territory here, where my memory is failing.
343: *grabs book just in case*
There was a tabby cat standing in the corner of Privet Drive, but there wasn’t a map in sight. What could he have been thinking of? It must have been a trick of the light. Mr. Dursely blinked and stared at the cat. It stared back.
I have to admit, I cheated just a little bit there…..
And I’m probably going to have to cheat a LOT here….
As Mr. Dursley drove around the corner and up the road, he watched the cat in his mirror. It was not reading the sign that said Privet Drive–no, LOOKING at the sign. Cats couldn’t read maps, OR signs. Mr. Dursley gave himself a little shake and put the cat out of his mind. As he drove toward town, he thought of nothing except a large order of drills he was hoping to get that day.
Italics symbolise cheating. Whoops.
That would be on page….. 3, right? Let’s see, then….
But on the edge of town, drills were driven out of his mind by something else. As he sat in the usual morning traffic jam, he coudn’t help noticing that there seemed to be a lot of strangely dressed people about. People in cloaks. Mr. Dursley coudn’t bear people who dressed in funny clothes – the getups you saw on young people!
Well, at least I remebered about half of that…..
“I’ll kill you to death!”- Superboy-Prime, illustrating why nobody likes him.
“Fawful is gorging on his plan of win! And still he has hunger!”
“Beef? I am lacking in beef. Fawful is beefless.”
-Fawful in M&L:BIS
“While safety is very important and must be considered at all times, in exploration safety is not actually the most important thing. In exploration, the most important thing is to GO.†-James Cameron.
“But I tell you, Winston, that reality is not external. Reality exists in the human mind, and nowhere else. Not in the individual mind, which can make mistakes, and in any case soon perishes; only in the mind of the Party, which is collective and immortal. Whatever the Party holds to be the truth is the truth. It is impossible to see reality except by looking through the eyes of the Party. That is the fact that you have got to relearn, Winston. it needs an act of self-destruction, an effort of the will. You must humble yourself before you can become sane.”
– George Orwell, 1984
Solipsism is dangerous, kids.
Another mystery quote:
“He says – ‘One and one and one is three’.”
351- “Got to be good-lookin’ ’cause he’s so hard to see / Come together right now over me”
351/352– Those are my favorite lines from that song.
Rob: Hi, guys. I got a cappuccino machine.
Bucky: Oh… Oh. OH! This is fantastic! FANTASTIC!
Rob: Calm down, dude. It’s just a–
Bucky: Where do the monkeys come out of it?
Rob: Excuse me? “Monkeys?” What on Earth are you talking about?
Bucky: Does it MAKE monkeys or is it one of those organ grinder thingies that the cappuccino monkeys dance to?
Rob: What the?… Hold on, are you talking about capuchin monekys? Bucky, this is a cappuccino machine. It makes cappuccinos.
Satchel: Monkeys in chinos?!
Bucky: Mmm…
—Bucky Katt’s Big Book Of Fun, by Darby Conley
“Get Mussolini out of my kitchen!” -My English teacher.
“Never trust anybody who wears a suit on Fridays.” -Also from my English teacher.
“The Electoral College is not where you learn to plug things in.” -Some comic in an old government magazine for kids.
“My mother would love me even if I was a demented skull-headed tadpole-thing. Where this not true, she would have thrown out the ultrasound pictures of me years ago.” -Me.
“Doubt thou the stars are fire
Doubt thou the sun doth shine
Doubt truth to be a lie
But never doubt I love”
Beautiful little poem that Hamlet sends to Ophelia.
“Nice stalkers, stalkers who appreciate a good pie, but stalkers nonetheless.” –Enceladus
“Truth is, you’re not an adult, you’re a large child holding a beer.” – Dylan Moran
357(SL)-:D Yup. I love that one.
And now I feel obliged to add a quote…..
“I’m Ben, which is Neb backwards, which is short for Nebuchanezzar.” (sp?)
“Nebu-what?”
“Like I said, Ben.”
“Uhh…..”
-Me pretending to be Ben, and thoroughly confusing my friend H. (Ben as in Castaways of the Flying Dutchman)
After you eat breakfast, you’re cheerio-ful!
-My dad, making an extremely bad pun. It’s even funnier in context.
Me: Wow, I am friends with some pretty strange people.
Abby: And you’re just noticing that now?! You are not very observant.
“That’s right. Human bean juice. Ha ha. Badge belonged to the Comedian. Blood too. He’s dead.”
-Rorschach in the Watchmen book
“Well, now y’now the kind of cancer that you eventually get better from?”
“Yes.”
“Well, that ain’t the kind of cancer I got.”
-Moloch and Rorschach
American love… like Coke in green glass bottles – they don’t make it any more.
-Rorschach
“He treats me like a sea turtle!” My dad
357- I was talking about how my Dad sees most of you.
362- Stalker, well, yes. Nice… working on it.
“What if Paul McCartney walked in right now?” –Me, in Girl Scouts, after one of my friends had accidentally shoved a heavily-frosted cupcake into my face.
363–
“OK, everyone. Let’s work ourselves to death on the playground.” – my math teacher
“While we’re adding new spaceports to America like… Spaceport America.”- Cariann.
‘You do not hit people with trombone cases. That could hurt the trombone.” – Dodecahedron.
“Nobody high up in Microsoft smokes because they want to stay alive and enjoy their money!”- My computer teacher
This is a very long thread. Meanwhile, I have some nice quotes.
“The recession is everywhere. It’s so sad. But at least there are some good sales.” -Mary-Kate Olsen
“Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and holds the universe together.” -Real estate booklet
“Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like banana.” -Bumper sticker (I had to have Pseudo explain the joke to me).
“You will not be brought down by uncooperative citrus.” -Realsimple.com ad
“Save a cookie, eat a cowboy.” -Graffiti
“MAKE CUPCAKES NOT WAR” – Bumper sticker
“Today I will be happier than a bird with a frenchfry.” -Poster
*takes a bow*
“Are we going turkey-hunting today, Señorita? Because your hat looks like we’re going turkey-hunting.” –A kid in my Spanish class to my teacher
SFTDP, I guess?
“For if I’m always spinning-
Why stand still?”
–from a poem by KaiYves
I said this one day in class, and my friend said, “Oh, that’s pretty.” I knew an MBer (naturally) had said it, but I couldn’t remember who. I just now looked up to see who said it.
HEEEY! THAT’S MY TROMBONE CASE DODECAHEDRON WAS TALKING ABOUT!!! wheeeeeeee!!!!!!!! *glee* *feels important*
Why is this thread dead?!
“What’s up, people?”
“Why do YOU care?!”
“Hey, don’t call me a people! I am NOT a people kind of person!”
“Geez, I was only asking…”
–3 boys in my Spanish class
“Ohmigod! You totally ripped that monkey’s head off!” –a girl in my Spanish class. It made sense in context, but it was still funny.
It really means a lot to me that you quoted my poem, Silver Lining.
NASA Edge can be just as fun to watch as SVC…
Mike Good: “We gotta find Charlie Bolden. Go find Charlie Bolden and tell him you think I’d be a great guy to fly on the next mission to the moon.”
Blair: “Alright, I’ll do that if you tell him you need a co-pilot.”
Franklin (To Buzz Aldrin): “Hey! You don’t LOOK like Snoop Dog to me!”
(Chris and Blair are sitting in lawn chairs in a red desert with a duffel bag between them.)
Chris: “I love hanging out on Mars.”
Blair (Going through the bag): “When’s NASA going to send people here?”
Chris: “2030.”
Blair: “We’re gonna need more toilet paper.”
373–Well, I thought it was a brilliant quote.
Anyways…
“You know what really bothers me?!”
“What?”
“The quotations thread on MB is essentially dead!”
*shakes head sadly*
–My friend and me. Obviously, I’m the one complaining about the thread.
359- Nebuchadnezzar.
“You’re alive. Do something.
The directive in life, the moral
imperative was so uncomplicated.
It could be expressed in single
words, not complete sentences.
It sounded like this: Look. Listen.
Choose. Act.”
~Barbara Hall
Whoever says it was “as easy as taking candy from a baby” has never tried to take candy from a baby.
“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”
George Santayana
Red meat isn’t bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear. -Ambrose Redmoon
Harry Potter Quotes!
-“We tried to shut him in a pyramid, but Mum spotted us.” -George
-“So top grade’s O for ‘Outstanding,'” she [Hermione] was saying, “and then there’s A-” “No, E,” George corrected her, “E for ‘Exceeds Expectations.’ And I’ve always thought Fred and I should’ve got E in everything, because we exceeded expectations just by turning up for the exams.”
-“For instance, this new idea that You-Know-Who can kill with a single glance from his eyes. That’s a basilisk, listeners. One simple test: Check whether the thing that’s glaring at you has got legs. If it has, it’s safe to look into its eyes, although if it really is You-Know-Who, that’s still likely to be the last thing you ever do.†[Fred]
“Beware the advice of successful people. They do not seek company.”
-Dilbert
Insanity- doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results
I don’t suffer from insanity-I enjoy every minute of it.
Never explain–your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway
“Don’t put your head under the tractor.”
“Sloth is the mother of invention.”
You’re a bad influence on the vermin.
“I’ve never squished a lawyer.”
–Garfield
“Well, if Kokpelli were president, this country would be a lot more interesting.” – my friend’s mom after seeing my Koko for president shirt
“Randomosity 101 reporting for duty sir!”
“Good. Now go clean a toilet.”
“And there was a rumor of an inscription that says ‘Death comes on wings to he who disturbs the pharoh’.”
“Oh yeah? What about she?”
“Move ‘poop’ was unaffective.”
“Guys, um, I mean psychopathic vampires, could we settle this in a mutually beneficial, nonviolent way ?â€
-Carrie (one of my characters)
A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery while on a detour. ~Author Unknown
SFTDP–Just found this:
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind ~Dr. Seuss
Someone who wins at everything will have many admirers, but few friends.
– Me
SFTDP
“Tania could almost hear McGonagall cackling evilly. The old bat.”
-natureismagic (HP fanfic. Read it! It’s good!)
Long quote from the aforementioned fanfic:
‘”Subject name: Professor Severus Snape. Occupation: Potions Master at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Age: Late thirties, early forties. Subject is grading what appear to be essays, possibly the ones the sixth years just turned in. Subject is using rather a lot of red ink. Subject is being rather dull, actually. Subject looks very amusing when he is that particular shade of purple.†Tania stopped speaking as she dove out of sight between the bookshelves. Snape’s shield was most definitely not soundproof. Draco could only hope that Tania was Snape-proof, because the murderous expression on Snape’s face did not speak of future kindness towards Tania. He stalked towards the bookshelves, a bird of prey thirsting for blood.
‘Draco noted with amusement that Tania’s quill and parchment followed her as she fled, still busy scribbling. Tania’s voice faded and grew louder as she weaved through the bookshelves at full speed. “Oh, help! Subject is gaining. Who knew he could run that fast, at his age? Yeek! Subject has ruffians and lizards for ancestors. Oh, and don’t forget Grandma Bat! Subject’s breakfast will be cursed into slugs and toenails if he doesn’t stop! HELP! Subject is evil! No wonder he isn’t married! Oh nonononono! Subject is kind! Subject is wonderful and awesome and amazing! Ouch! Scratch that! Subject is the most horrendous man on the planet!â€
‘A scrambling noise, followed by several loud thuds and crashes. “I abjure thee, demon! Shoo!†Tania’s voice seemed to be coming from higher up than before… “Get thee hence! Scram! No one likes you! You’re stupid and ugly and you have no sense of humor and WHY ARENâ€T YOU TIRED YET?â€
‘More crashes, and Tania hove into view –scampering along the tops of the bookshelves! She leaped from one row to the next, glanced down, and jumped to the next one. She dashed away. “Subject climbs like a darned monkey! No fair!â€
‘Snape’s head came into view above the bookshelves, quickly followed by the rest of him. He glanced around and sprinted after the fleeing Tania. He disappeared down the length of the shelves. Draco shivered.
‘He looked up again just as Tania raced up. Barely pausing at the edge of the shelf, she sprang off, landing on the floor, some fifteen feet below. Sitting down in Snape’s recently vacated chair, she tidied herself up and pasted an innocent look on her face. Her parchment floated slowly to rest on the table beside her.
‘Growling noises preceded the Potions Master as he emerged, breathing very hard, from among the shelves. He stopped and glared at Tania.
‘“Why, Professor,†the irrepressible madwoman said, sounding injured.
“Was it something I said?â€%Proxy-Connection: keep-alive
C
NASA Edge interviewing (hopefully) drunk people on Yuri’s Night:
Blair: “What would you do for a ride on the Space Shuttle?”
Some lady: “I’d kiss a monkey.”
Random guy: “I’d bungie-jump naked.”
Some other lady: “I’d paint my skin blue… permanently.”
“I certainly don’t remember any contemporary reports of a lunar giraffe chicken.”- Rebecca Lasley
Ah, yes. The lunar giraffe chicken.
“From then on I knew… God doesn’t make the world this way. We do.”
-Rorschach in Watchmen (movie) (no, I haven’t seen it, but I really want to)
“Nobody really won or lost. We just advanced to another level.”- Emmett, George’s Cosmic Treasure Hunt.
“Life’s to short to use a hand cranked pencil sharpener”-My Flamablamablous Art Teacher
I <3 Art Class.
(391) Recently I read a book that noted that if you do a lot of drawing it’s amazing how much time you can save with an electric sharpener. Then, of course, there are those artists who turn up their noses at anyone who doesn’t sharpen ens pencils with a knife or razor blade. I’ve used the blade method. I agree wholeheartedly with your art teacher.
“Darn, I died. That should be a problem”
– A friend of mine. (Playing a video game, but it sounds better out of context)
387- And don’t forget, I’m the one that caused her to say that!
“This is an epic water day.” – Ben
“We ask ourselves WWAD- What Would Armadillo Do? And then we do the opposite.” – Ben
Cariann: “So, yeah, it’s the end of the world, this will be our last show ever.”
Ben: “Or, you know, not.”
“Wait, where did you get a large chunk of lead?” – Cariann
“If you could just sneeze into the camera, that would really help.” – Cariann
“On a scale of one to dangerous?” – BZWingZero
“Ben is an acorn.” – Jeph
Ben: “Didn’t think I’d ask THAT question, DID ya?”
Ron: “Actually, yes I did.”
Mystery quotes:
“It doesn’t take a genius to see the world has problems.”
“Yeah, but it takes a room full of morons to think they’re small enough for you to handle.”
“That can stay hidden up here too, if you like.”
“You all right, son?”
*stunned* “You can whistle really loud, you know that?”
“She was pregnant… and you gunned her down.”
“That’s right. And you know what? You watched me! You coulda turned the gun into steam, the bullets into mercury, the-the bottle into goddamned snowflakes! But you didn’t, did you … you’re drifting out of touch, Doc. God help us all.”
I just came across that last one again a few days ago. I-Man, you seem to be listening in on my brain.
391- Have you ever noticed how you can freak people out by sharpening your pencils with a scissor ? *was very bored in latin class*
My pleasure :mrgreen:.
396- The 3rd one is James Tiberius Kirk (awesome name) talking to that captain guy who broke up the barfight in Star Trek the movie, and the last one is the Comedian in Watchmen. Not sure if it’s from the movie or not, (I haven’t seen it) because in the book I thought he said something about teleporting them both away.
A- “ROTFLOL!”
Me- “Well, I understood LOL…”
(I don’t speak chat)
401- ROTFLOL= Rolling On The Floor Laughing Out Loud
“Things are only impossible until they aren’t!”
“I wish I could say you’ve been like a father to me, but I never had a father.”
“So I’m drunk?! Awesome!”
What do those quotes have in common?
“Burpificationafied!”
– My brother
398 – Oh my goodness, this guy in my class in middle school used to do that all the time. It was terrifying.
(At band camp)
Me: [Alto section leader] made our section do fifteen push-ups today.
D: The flute section did ten elbow-bends on the honor system!
Dwight: “I heard alcohol makes you stupid.”
Fry: “No I’m… doesn’t.”
-Futurama, season five, episode three, “The Route of All Evil”
“It was in your closet.”
-“No, it was in my dresser”
“That’s what your mom said.”
-“No, she said it was in my closet.”
“Your face.”
-One my average conversations with my friend H.
I have some good quotes, but I’m not going to post them yet because it’s time for a new thread and I want people to actually read them. ((hint, hint, GAPAs! Thank you!))
The all-powerful Dwight Schrute:
“In the wild, there is no health care. In the wild, health care is, ‘Ow, I hurt my leg. I can’t run. A lion eats me. I’m dead.’ Well, I’m not dead. I’m the lion. You’re dead.”
I love The Office.