If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is “God is crying.” And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is “Probably because of something you did.”
-Jack Handey
Great spirits will always encounter violent opposition from mediocre minds
-Albert Einstein
I love quotations because it is a joy to find thoughts one might have, beautifully expressed with much authority by someone recognized wiser than oneself.
-Marlene Dietrich
As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.
-H.L. Mencken
I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me.
-Dave Barry
Red meat is NOT bad for you. Now blue-green meat, THAT’S bad for you!
-Tommy Smothers
I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.
-Garrison Keillor
1. I have loved the words, and I have hated them, and I hope I have made them right.
Liesel, The Book Thief
2. If I knew where poems came from, I’d go there.
-Unknown (By me anyway)
3. The strongest memory is weaker than the palest ink.
– Chinese proverb
4. That no life lives forever,
That dead men rise up never,
That even the weariest river,
Winds somewhere safe to sea.
– A poem, The Series of Unfortunate Events. 11 I think?
5. Life is the epitome of an enigma
-Unknown (By me anyway)
6. Be yourself, because the people who matter don’t mind, and the people who mind don’t matter.
-Dr.Seuss
7. Everyone prefers fighting by choice.
-Un Lun Dun
8. I leave on the morrow to seek my wings.
– The Book of Flying
9. To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else.
– An old female artist/author
10. Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones do.
– Unknown (By me anyway)
11. The world is quiet here.
– The Series of Unfortunate Events.
12. It’s a poor sort of memory that only works backwards.
– Pooh? The Hobbit?
13. Everyone dies frustrated and sad, and that is beautiful.
– Unknown (By me anyway)
14. I don’t want he world, just your half.
– Happy Bunny?
15. The sun stirs the earth. Around and around it stirs us, like stew.
-Unknown (By me anyway)
Here are a lot of ones I like. I was going to send them to the “wordsofwisdom@musefanpage.com,” but it kinda died, so I didn’t. The email didn’t even work. But anyway, here they are:
—————————————-
“They never stop thinking about ways to harm our people and our country. And neither do we.†–George W. Bush
“The misunderestimated me.†–George W. Bush
“You don’t have to be tall to see the moon†–African proverb
“Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy†–Anne Frank
“That’s right. When I was your age, television was called books.†–Grandpa, The Princess Bride
“ ‘This must be a Thursday,’ said Arthur musing to himself, sinking low over his beer, ‘I could never get the hang of Thursdays.’†–The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.†–Helen Keller
“The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook.†–William James
“You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.†–Mark Twain
“It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness.†–Chinese Proverb
“You will never ‘find’ time for anything. If you want time, you must make it.†–Charles Bruxton
“She’s safe, just like I promised. She’s all set to marry Norrington, just like she promisted. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we’re all men of our word really … except for, of course, Elizabeth, who is in fact, a woman.†–Captain Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean
“COOKIE!†–Cookie Monster
“What a bunch of dodos…†–Big Bird
“You know, you don’t have to look like everybody else to be acceptable and to feel accepable.†–Fred Rogers
“In that particular moment, I was reconfiguring the warp field parameters, analyzing the collected works of Charles Dickens, calculating the maximum pressure I could safely apply to your lips, considering a new food supplement for Spot…†–Data, Star Trek
“ ‘Anyone can speak Troll, All you have to do is point and grunt.’â€â€”Fred Weasley, Harry Potter
3- re:Life is the epitome of an enigma
Are you sure you didn’t read me posting that as a quote from my friend (well… once, but now he won’t talk to me. drama sucks. Mark, if you’re reading this, email me. Even though you’re not reading this.) who hates it when I quote him and expressly asked me not to? Because that’s it, word for word.
5- re: Everyone dies frustrated and sad, and that is beautiful.
They Might Be Giants, Don’t Let’s Start
re: I don’t want he world, just your half.
It’s “I don’t want the world, I just want your half” (not to be obsessive or anything) and it’s They Might Be Giants, Ana Ng.
Once I posted a list of quotes and stuff I left on my calculator for when I turned it on. It contained those three quotes. Could you be remembering that?
7- My relentless emailing of mp3s and quoting Them and assertions that They Might Be Giants pwn have finally affected you!
ok, my quotes:
The obligatory Douglas Adams:
In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very mad and has been widely regarded as a bad idea.
The just-as-obligatory Monty Python:
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
(go look up the rest yourself)
Your vocabulary is too copious for the dimensions of my understanding. Would you please elucidate with a little more simplicity?
– since I’m already in Mark’s bad graces, this can’t make it that much worse
The Dodecahedron’s quotes (Phantom Tollbooth):
Just because you have a choice, it doesn’t mean one of them has to be right.
…as long as the answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong?
me:…Why, did you know that if a beaver 2 feet long with a tail a foot and a half long can build a dam 12 feet high and 6 feet wide in 2 days, all it would take to build Boulder Dam is a beaver 68 feet long with a 51 foot tail?
Humbug: Where would you find a beaver that big?
me: I don’t know, but if you did, you’d certainly know what to do with it.
It seems that I ought to read The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.
“Some call me… Tim.”
-Monty Python and the Holy Grail
“Kittens are cute. Then they turn into cats.”
-My mom, who really does love cats.
“Even the fattest, laziest, greediest housecat had an adittude that said, ‘Yes, I am fat, lazy and greedy and rather good at it too, don’t you think?'”
– Lionboy
“Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
– Everyone know where that came from.
9- Small correction. “This has made a lot of people very angry…” The British tend to use “mad” to mean insane rather than upset. I love the phantom tollbooth quotes.
You live and learn. At any rate, you live.
-Douglas Adams (Marvin)
Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
-King of Siam, The King and I (film version)
“You can swim all day in the Sea of Knowledge and still come out dry. Most people do.”
~Norman Juster in “The Phantom Tollbooth”
“If life gives you a lemon, sit down and eat the dang lemon.”
~Unknown
And my personal favorite:
“Life is not a journey to arrive at the grave in a well preserved body, carried in slowly. Life is a journey to arrive at the grave skidding in sideways, totally burned out, shouting, ‘Holy s*** what a ride!'”
All we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.
-Edgar Allan Poe
“Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not
sure about the former.”
– Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.â€
-Eleanor Roosevelt
“There are two ways to look at the world. One is as if nothing were a miracle the other is as if everything isâ€
-Albert Einstein
I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
-Albert Einstien
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.
-J.R.R. Tolkien
“Always after a defeat and a respite, the Shadow takes another shape and grows again.”
– Gandalf
“I wish it need not have happened in my time.”
– Frodo
“So do I, and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
– Gandalf
“Dancing is silent poetry.”
– Simonides (556-468bc)
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
– Albert Einstein
The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science.
– Albert Einstein
Astronomy compels the soul to look upwards and leads us from this world to another.
– Plato
Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
– Mark Twain
He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.
– Friedrich Nietzsche
Reserve your right to think, for even to think wrongly is better than not to think at all.
– Hypatia
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
– Niels Bohr
Wisdom begins in wonder.
– Socrates
“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”
-Anais Nin
When we blindly adopt a religion, a political system, a literary dogma, we become automatons. We cease to grow.
Anais Nin
… Everybody has a secret world inside of them. I mean everybody. All of the people in the whole world — no matter how dull and boring they are on the outside. Inside them they’ve all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds… Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands, maybe. Chapter Six, I Woke Up And One Of Us Were Crying (Sandman/Neil Gaiman)
“A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.”- Oscar Wilde
“I think we dream so we don’t have to be apart so long. If we’re in each other’s dreams, we can be together all the time.”
-Calvin and Hobbes
Witchery is merely a word for what we are all capable of.
Charles de Lint
“Writers don’t have groupies. Unless they’re Neil Gaiman.” — Jane Yolen
“I’ve never heard ‘mimeographs are just like bicycles’ before.” — Adam Stemple
“I was just saying to Charles Vess, you girls are like a gaggle of crow girls.” — Charles de Lint, in reference to some friends and I when we met him.
“Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands? And the rest of you, if you’ll just rattle your jewelry.”
– John Lennon, 1963, at the high point of the group’s set during the Royal Variety Performance before members of the British Royal Family.
“We ice skate.”
– George Harrison, 1964, when asked by a reporter “What do you do when you’re cooped up in a hotel room between shows?”
“You.”
– John Lennon, 1964, when asked by a reporter “What have you seen that you like best about our country?”
“I don’t know, it must be the weather.”
– John Lennon, 1964, when asked by a reporter “Why do you think you’re so popular all of a sudden?”
“So this is America. They must be out of their minds.”
Ringo Starr, circa 1964, arriving in America for the first time.
“I call it Arthur”
George Harrison, 1964, when asked what the Beatles called their haircuts.
“There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don’tâ€
I want to touch the heart of the world and make it smile.
Charles de Lint
It’s good to have mysteries. It reminds us that there’s more to the world than just making do and having a bit of fun.
Charles de Lint
Remember the quiet wonders. The world has more need of them than it has for warriors.
Charles de Lint
only one of those de Lint ones (the ones that refers in part to me) was when I met him, by the way. Most are from his books, I think.
I refuse to answer that question, on the grounds that I don’t know the answer.
-Douglas Adams (Zaphod Beeblebrox)
I may be a pretty sad case, but I don’t write jokes in base thirteen!
-Douglas Adams
My name is Edmund Blackadder, and I’m the new Minister in Charge of Religious Genocide. Now, if you play straight with me, you’ll find me a considerate employer. But cross me and you’ll soon discover that under this playful boyish exterior, beats the heart of a ruthless, sadistic maniac.
-Edmund Blackadder, Blackadder II
I should never have switched from scotch to martinis.
– Last words of Humphrey Bogart
16. How about a kiss, Saumensch?
-Rudy, The Book Thief
17. The slow days drifted on, and each left behind a slightly lightened weight of apprehension.
-Unknown (By me anyway)
18. One must not tie a ship to a single anchor, nor life to a single hope.
-Unknown (By me anyway)
19.A thousand enemies outside the house are better than one within.
-Proverb?
20. Remember that the most beautiful things in the world are the most useless.
– I found it in Pretties
21. Adventures can get into a person’s blood, even if they don’t remember having them.
– The Secret of Platform 13
22. Not all who wander are lost.
– J R R Tolkein
23. Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday.
– Unknown (By me anyway)
24. There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.
– Jerry Seinfeld?
25. Love is like war: easy to begin, hard to end.
– Proverb?
26.Everytime I open a boook a soul awakens.
Unknown (By me anyway)
27. But they woke him with words, their cruel dark weapons.
Unknown (By me anyway)
28. ‘Tis better to have loved and lost than ne’er to have loved at all.
-Tennyson?
29. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you look like so long as someone loves you.
-Roald Dahl, The Witches.
30. Time is ticking on, and so we must be gone.
Maybe that one’s Tennyson…
31. The most wise are those who know how little they know.
Proverb?
32.Mystery bores me.
– Death, The Book Thief
33. Greater love has no man than this, than to lay down his life for his friends.
– John 15:13
34. Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving foreward, opening up new doors and doing new things…and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.
– Walt Disney.
35. One person matters a lot when the one person is somebody you love.
– Children of the River?
“Never argue with an idiot, they’ll bring you down to their level, then beat you with experience”
-?
“Never teach a pig to sing, I wastes your time and annoys the pig”
-?
“How vast and how varied a field is agriculture, for such discovery…I view it as the most important subject which we as a people can be engaged in”
-Abraham Lincoln
“If athiests don’t believe in god, god doesn’t believe in athiests, therefore athiests don’t exist”
-?
“I reject your reality and substitute my own!”
-Adam on Mythbusters
“A good friend will get you out of jail. A best friend will being sitting next to you saying ‘Well, we screwed up, but it was fun.'”
-Unknown
“If life gives you lemons, throw them at the nearest tourist and call it tradititon”
-Unknown
36. At whatever hour you come you will find light and help and human kindness.
Above a hospital.
37. The mind cannot bear too much reality.
Unknown (By me anyway)
38. I don’t get nearly enough credit in life for the things I manage not to say.
How I Live Now
39. A brave heart and a courteous tongue shall carry thee far in the jungle, manling.
The Jungle Book
40. Intelligence without love is and empty thing.
Unknown (By me anyway)
The silence of half a hundred cats is a strange thing, like fifty individual silences piled on top of each other.
-Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell, by Susanna Clarke
But who can resist the pull of adventure?
-West of West, by me, as yet unpublished
And apart from that I can’t think of good quotes at the moment.
41. Home is behind, the world ahead, andthere are many paths to tread.
-The Lord of the Rings
42. It’s a dangerous buisness, Frodo, going out your front door.
– The Lord of the Rings
43. Some people are beautiful. Not in looks, not in what they say, just in what they are.
-I Am the Messenger
44. Who’s Pete’s Sake?
-A t-shirt
45. We are all ignorant… only on different subjects.
– Will Rogers
46. Without music life would be a mistake.
– Unknown (By me anyway)
47. Gazillions- It’s a technical term
– Anonymous
48. Strike that, reverse it.
– Willy Wonka
49. The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
– Unknown (By me anyway)
50. Sometimes I amaze myself.
– A t-shirt
51. Just because a poet says something doesn’t mean it’s true, only that it sounds good.
-Unknown (By me anyway)
52. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
-Unknown (By me anyway)
53. Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.
-Margaret Mead.
54. One hoped and the other despaired: they both chose their own lots and were righteously doomed to endure them.
– Wuthering Heights?
55. And all the scars of the ‘nevers’ and ‘maybes’ die…
-Unknown (By me anyway)
56. Nothing is worth more than this day.
-Unknown (By me anyway)
57. Things do not get better by being left alone.
– Winston Churchill
58. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.
-Churchill again?
59. What do we live for then if it is not to make life less diffivult for each other?
-Maybe that one’s Churchill
60. The ultimate measure of a man is not whare he stands at times of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
61. It is a far, far better thing that I do than I have ever done before.
-From a famous book, If only I knew which one…
62. If music be the food of life, give me cxcess of it.
-Unknown (By me anyway)
63. Wuthering Heights is the name of Mr. Heathcliff’s dwelling.
-Wuthering Heights, no duh
64. Freedom is an illusion. It comes at a price.
-The Amulet of Samarkand
65.All children, except for 1, grow up.
-Peter Pan
66. To be grown-up is not the same as to be wise.
– The Lily something. It’s a book
67. Letting go is not the same as letting you fall.
– Ditto
68. On the other hand, you have different finger.
-Unknown (By me anyway)
69. I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, this just wasn’t it.
– My Fair Lady?
70. Kindness and intelligence. The two qualities that will save the world.
-Unknown (By me anyway)
71. Shame ought to be banished from the earth. It’s a totally useless thing. Shame paralyzes you until you can’t move forward or backward.
– Unknown (By me anyway)
72. It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.
– Some famous book
73. I am Oz, the great and terrible!
– The Wizard of Oz
74. It was the best of times, it was the worst of time.
-Great Expectations?
75. “Curiouser and curiouser,” cried Alice.
– Alice in Wonderland
You can’t fool me. There aint no Sanity Claus.
-Chico Marx
Do you rumba? (why yes) Well, I don’t, but I’ll walk around you while you do.
-Groucho Marx
If there was one person I wanted to kiss, it would be Madonna because I’m jelous that Brittany and Christina already got there.
-Stacy Ferguson
Death is boring.
-Somebody on the radio
It seems like all the hot people get kicked off!
-Jay Leno (on Dancing with the Stars and American Idol and Survivor)
W-well, when I was back in Craw-Crawford, my m-mommy used… well… she used to tell me a story about… well…. anyway, time goes march-um marching on. Like, it goes marching on. Right?
-George W. Bush (or an impersonator)
I told them I could’nt swim, but they did’nt belive me, so they casted me. And then I got really scared.
-Keisha Castle Hues (on Whale Rider)
It’s really scary!
-George W. Bush (on 9/11)
Oogy Boogy! How’d you like to feel the way she looks?
-Groucho Marx
Its Uh BEEE!!!! *falls down*
-A friend of mine
Please excuse Maxine, she fell out of a tree and misplaced her hip.
-Some excuse note given to my LA teacher
54- “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, this just wasn’t it.”
-Groucho Marx. I can’t believe I actually knew that one!
55- “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”
-Pride and Prejudice. I didn’t even read that book, but I got far enough to read that part. Unless it was something else that I did read.
“Baaaaaaaaaah!”
– Our sheep. Oh man, I could give some SCARY sheep quotes if I had the right book. Luckily, I don’t.
Fine. I give up. One mind can’t concentrate on both TMBG trivia and random quotes if they want a 98 average. To Wikiquote!
*skips away*
*actually returns this time*
Can I just post links?
Let’s see. I don’t really mind much if they’re snipped, it’s just wikiquote pages for the Ninth Doctor, Douglas Adams, and some of the more tame Monty Python.
Oh, great warrior, hmm? War does not make one great.
– Yoda
There are three things I refuse to tolerate. Cowardice. Bad haircuts. And military insurrection. And it is unfortunate that our friend Vegeta possesses all three of these.
– Frieza
(to Cell) I might just be a pothole in the road for you, but it’s gonna be one heck of a deep pothole!
– Tenshinhan
“Funny how no one ever looks up.”
– Someone or other whose name I can’t remember (Kiki, O other-Keys-to-the-Kindom-fan, do you know?) in Drowned Wednesday, by Garth Nix.
“My loyalty is to my heart. My heart follows my eyes, and my eyes have moved on.”
“How alien, alas, are the streets of the city of grief.”
“Bridges are between places, they bend through time and soace and who knows on what shore they’ll cast you.
” I must find my wings or perish in the undertaking.”
“At journey’s end, at evening,
arriving in a remote town,
I walk through deserted streets
to a certain house, knock upon a certain door,
and only as it opens do I see
I stand on my own doorstep
and beyond the threshold a road descends
anew through a landscape I left
so long ago.”
“Courage is the swallowing of one’s life, whole.”
“The kiss is the keenest dagger.”
“The first step on a tightrope must carry you to the other side.”
These were first posted on the Books and Reading thread Part 3, and they are from The Book of Flying.
“‘Light fuse and get away’ may work for a Roman candle, but not so much for the wrath of a woman scorned.”
– J. Jaques
“Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.”
– John Barrymore
“Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it.”
– Christopher Morley
“What I give form to in daylight is only one per cent of what I have seen in darkness.”
– M. C. Escher (awesome guy! very cool paintings)
“Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.”
– Matt Groening
“Life is just one damned thing after another.”
– Elbert Hubbard
“It’s not true that life is one damn thing after another; it is one damn thing over and over.”
-E. Millay or something
“Life isn’t fair. It’s just fairer than death, that’s all.”
– Someone in the Princess bride… don’t remember their name
“You can’t have a light without a dark to stick it in.”
– Arlo Guthrie
Actually, George Bernard Shaw didn’t say that; he wrote it in a play for one of his characters to say. In this case, the character was the serpent in the Garden of Eden.
That’s one problem with quotations taken out of context: no context.
“If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun.”~ Katharine Hepburn
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Yesterday, I sent myself an email that had my Language Arts Project in it so when I got to school, I could download the attachment because I'm just so awesome like that says:
59-Yeah. She said that she could swim when they picked her, but she really couldn’t swim as well as she claimed too. So when they said ‘hey you are going to ride the back of a whale’ she got all creeped out. She says she was crying when she came up from that scene when she rides the whale undewater. I thought that was just bad animation, but no, its a real whale!
61-Yep, Stacy Ferguson is Fergie. I love her too, (number 5 on my artistz list) but I find it scary that she wanted to kiss Madonna…
I’m made of wax, what are you made of?-Teddy Rosevelt (not really though) in Night at the Museum
Dexter is just a little butterball of fun, isn’t he?-Ciel in Night at the Museum
I ain’t pickin up all that doo!-Taxi Driver in Night at the Museum
Oh, that’s just fine. Make fun of the history geek.-Rebecca in Night at the Museum
59-Yep, she couldn’t swim. Or, she couldn’t swim all that well. She claimed she could swim really well when they asked her, but when they said ‘hey guess what you are going to ride a whale’ she got all freaked out. She said (in the DVD) that she came out of the water crying in the scene where she rides the whale… I thought that was bad animation, but she was really riding a whale!
61-Yep, Stacy Ferguson is Fergie. I love her too (number 5 on my artistz list) but I find it weird that she would want to kiss Madonna…
I’m a PUPPET!!!-Yoda in Thumb Wars
I’m made of wax, what are you made of?-Teddy Rosevelt in Night at the Museum
Dexter is just a little butterball, isn’t he?-Ciel in Night at the Museum
All right Civil War guys. South, I’m sorry, slavery is wrong, North wins. But you guys still get… the Almond Brothers and…. Nasacar!
80-All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.
They have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.
at first the infant, mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms.
Then the whining school-boy, with satchel and shining morning face, creeping like snail unwillingly to school.
Then something about someone sighing like a furnace with a woeful ballad made to his mistress’s eyebrow, then I don’t really remember after that. I used to know a lot more.
ahh. my post!! it was cut off. it sounds like im saying nothing. *realizes* d’oh. i made a heart wita bracket and a three, and bloody wordpress thought it was html. o well. reposts
ghandi on western civilization: it would be a good idea.
(1) “Spell out” the angle brackets (& lt ; and & gt ; , for “less than” and “greater than”) if you don’t want WordPress to interpret them as HTML code.
(2) If you spell Mohandas Gandhi’s name correctly (with a “dh,” not a “gh”), then you’ll be ahead of about 50 percent of the people who quote him.
It’s a slight exaggeration. A couple of quick Google searches (for “gandhi -ghandi +mahatma” and then “ghandi -gandhi +mahatma”) suggest that the ratio of correct spellings to misspellings is actually about 5:1. That’s still a lot of misspellings, and you do notice them once you get attuned to them.
Sorry for the double post, but I’d never heard this one before and it is simply fabulous.
My fellow Americans, I’m pleased to tell you today that I’ve signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes.
-Ronald Reagan
87- thanks! I like them too! In fact, I have a gazillion more. I have one document on my computer called “really good quotes” to keep some semblance of sorting and another just called “good quotes” those all came from “really good quotes”
76. Where else could you be a housewife except in your own house?
– My Civics teacher
77. Life is like a boxcar of inertia.
-Bill Nye
78. Mimes not admitted unless accompanied by a speaking person.
-Bll Nye
79. I have seen the future and it is like the present only longer.
-Unknown (By me, anyway.)
80. Life is not about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself.
– Unknown (By me, anyway.)
81. Do not permit what you cannot do to interfere with what you can do.
-John Wooden
82. Life’s but a walking shadow.
-I’ve no idea
83. Deaht lies upon her like na untimely frost
-Don’t know this one either
84. Sometimes we have to create our own miracles.
-Still don’t know.
85. Wherever you live in th real world you find trouble and discontents, so you make up a somewhere else hat’s better.
-Slaves of the Mastery
86. None of us can do anything until all of us can do everything.
-Slaves of the Mastery
87. “I believe the attack will come before it comes. I believe it before there is any threat of an attack. I believe it mos of all when there is no reason whatsoever for an attack. That is why I am still alive.”
“Yes, but so am I.”
-Slaves of the Mastery.
88. “What else has only one entrance?”
“I have no idea.”
“A trap!”
-Slaves of the Mastery
89. Friend ship is nothing more than habit and convenience.
-Slaves of the Mastery
90. Better to be a slave and live than to be free and die.
-Slaves of the Mastery.
“But lots of people have only one eyebrow, and I have that tattoo as part of my job.”-Jauqes, The Vile Village, A Series of Unfortunate Events, Lemony Snicket(I’d bet a large amount of money that’s not his real name).
91. It’s a natural human instinct, to love those in power.
– Slaves of the Mastery
92. Where’s the sense in punishing people who have done something wrong? No, punish people before they’ve done anything wrong, and then they won’t do it, will they?
– Slaves of the Mastery
93. A single act of terror forces obedence. Without obedience, there is chaos. With obedience comes peace and order.
– Slaves of the Mastery
94. Books are not merely ‘movies in waiting.’
-William Nicholson (Sp?)
95. Only the free can love.
-Slaves of the Mastery.
96. No one ever knows what will happen until it happens.
-Slaves of the Mastery.
97. Only a fool expects to love his wife.
-Slaves of the Mastery.
98. Freedom is vanity. Freedom is greed. It sets man against man.
-SLaves of the Mastery
99. Who knows what tomorrow may bring?
-Slaves of the Mastery.
100. You’ll never be a master to others so long as your greatest ambition is to please your own master.
-Slaves of the Mastery.
101. What is life but one long agony, ended only by death?
-Firesong
102. The stupid will inherit the earth!
-Firesong
103. An island is a place you can’t leave. The captain can’t leave this place. Therefore, it’s an island.
-Firesong
104. That’s the trouble with life. In the end, you lose interest.
-Firesong
105. Living is a tiring enough affair as it is.
-Firesong
106. THat’s just the way it is./Some things never change./ That’s just the way it is./ But don’t you believe them.
-The beginning of Naughts and Crosses.
107. We who are left behind watch you on your way.
-Firesong
108. I’ll never leave you. Even if I seen to be gone, I won’t be gone. I’ll always be with you.
-Firesong
109. If you’re going to die soon, you should love me now, before it;s too late.
-Firesong
110. Damn winter! Damn cold! Damn everything!
-Firesong, Albard
It is a narrow mind that can only spell a word one way.
~No idea who said that, but I know it was in response to Webster’s Dictionary. [did I spell that right?!]
111. All those who gain power are afraid to lose it.
-Spiderman?
112. It’s not about the ending it’s about the journey.
-Smallville?
113. If you do not sing through writing, if you do not cry through writing, if you do not breathe through writing, then don’t write, because our culture has no use for it.
– Unknown (By me)
114. When we look upon death and darkness, we only fear the unknown.
-Unknown (By me)
115. And now…let us step out into the night and persue that flighty, tempest, adventure.
-Unknown (By me)
116. Good is a point of view.
-I dunno
117. Happiness left a not on your fridge. You’re on your on.
-I dunno
118. Lost love is still love
-Still dunno
119. Love is being stupid, together.
-I’ve no idea
120. Do not meddle i nthe affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
-I think that’s funny.
121. Fear the man who has nothing to lose.
-That’s famous
122. Never deprive a man of hope, for it may be all he has.
– I can’t remember
123. One can get used to anything if one wishes.
-I dunno
124. Arrogance must be earned.
-Still dunno
125. Writing stories is magic, too.
-GAH!! Still dunno
109- I like the one about writing a lot. I live to write.
110- That last one may be a spoof on something in LOTR:
Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are [something] and quick to anger.
– LOTR.
Only two things are stronger than [something], the power of Love and the power of Arithmetic.
– E. Nesbit, The Nine Whirlpools.
So, they’re a bit piecemeal, but I like them. Especially the last.
Elitism
It’s lonely at the top, but it’s comforting to look down upon everyone at the bottom.
Idiocy
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
Irresponsibility
No single raindrop believes it is to blame for the flood.
Loneliness
If you find yourself struggling with loneliness, you’re not alone. And yet you are alone. So very alone.
Madness
Madness does not always howl. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “Hey, is there room in your head for one more?”
Power
Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. But it rocks absolutely, too.
There are to many good ones to list here. Demotivational posters rock. I taped them to my locker and in my asignment notebook… here’s one more that I like a lot:
Wishes
When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it’s really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you’re pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it’s death by meteor.
“But – your name is Makepeace! And you want to start a war?”
“Yes, it is ironic, is it not? I’m rather fond of irony.”
– Sara and Makepeace, The Makepeace War, by Me.
Great. I’ll have to put my Makepeace quote in my edited book, because I forgot all about it. Oh well, Sara hasn’t learned outright that he wants to start a war. I’ll find a place for it.
“We apologize(or apologise) for the inconvenience”
– God’s final message to Marvin, may or may not be to all creation. (according, as you so rightly said, to Douglas Adams)
Sorry, I’ve read these books way too many times.
Marvin: “I am at a rough estimate thirty billion times more intelligent than you. Let me give you an example. Think of a number, any number.”
Zem: “Er, five.”
Marvin: “Wrong. You see?”
The mattress was much impressed by this and realised that it was in the presence of a not unremarkable mind. — Life, the Universe and Everything by Douglas Adams
115- Where did you hear those? They sound like actual posters. I like posters. So many of the quotes on this thread I want to post on my walls.
I am now going to read through my Phantom Tollbooth script and post all the good parts.
Quotes from the actual play(I’m probably missing a lot of good parts because 1. I’m so used to them and 2. I’m getting lost in the play and forgetting to write them) :
Time is important, but it’s what you do with it that makes it so. – Clock
It’s more important to know whether there will be weather then what the weather will be. – Whether Man
Expect everything, I always say, and the unexpected never happens. -Whether Man
Why not. That’s a good reason for almost anything. A bit used, perhaps, but still quite serviceable. -Gatekeeper to Dictionopolis
-end of act one-
As long as the answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong? – Dodecahedron
Just because you have a choice, it doesn’t mean any of then has to be right. – Dodecahedron
(regarding pencil) Use it well and there is nothing it can’t do for you. – Mathemagician
What you can do is often a matter of what you will do. – Princess Pure Reason
Many things are posible just as long as you don’t know they’re impossible. -Mathemagician
You learn more by being wrong for the right reasons then you do by being right for the wrong ones. -Reason
It’s not just learning that’s important. It’s learning what to do with what you learn, and learning why you learn things. – Princess Sweet Rhyme
For some people, an hour seems to last forever. For others, just a moment, and so full of thngs to do. -Clock
(The stage goes black in less than no time at all.) -Stage directions
Random joys from practicing (not in script, but I was reminded of them) :
*once, Rhyme was absent, and the girl who played Reason said both their lines, running to the other’s position
*original lines: Azaz(as they are walking offstage) : Now, don’t tell me you think numbers are as important as words?
Mathemagician:Is that so? Why, I’ll have you know… (they’re supposed to keep arguing until the audience can’t see them anymore)
one time: Mathemagician(still stuck onstage but trying to exit) :Is that so? Why, I’ll have you know that numbers are much more important then words, and your mother…
(now offstage) Mark, who played Azaz: you know, we have the same mother in the play. (Azaz and the Mathemagician are brothers (so you don’t get confused, Joe and Mark aren’t related))
*original lines:Page:…and the insect hereinafter referred to as the Humbug…
mistake:…and the bug hereinafter referred to as the Humbug…
mistake:… and the bug hereinafter referred to as the insect…
*Alex, the Page, mixing up the two times he had lines. example:
original:Spelling Bee (to Humbug) : You just watch it. I’m warning w-a-r-n-i-n-g you! *TRUMPETS*
Page: King Azaz the Unabridged is about to begin the royal banquet…
mistake: Spelling Bee (to Humbug) : You just watch it. I’m warning w-a-r-n-i-n-g you! *TRUMPETS*
Page: Henceforth and forthwith, let it be known by one and all, that Rhyme and Reason reign one more in Wisdom…
example: original: Minister 5: Cheers! *everyone cheers*
Page: Henceforth and forthwith, let it be known by one and all, that Rhyme and Reason reign one more in Wisdom…
mistake: Minister 5: Cheers! *everyone cheers*
Page:King Azaz the Unabridged is about to begin the royal banquet…
*one advisor, day before play: Anyone know any good jokes?
another advisor: So a man walks up to a tollbooth…
Jokes in my little group of people while waiting to go on(yes, these are not quotations, they belong somewhere else. Reading the play brought me back into nostalgia-land. Just ignore it if you mind. It was joy at the time. I miss the play. Don’t bother me.) :
*me trying to take the Mathemagician’s pencil, which is about a yard long, and actually a painted stick of wood thing an inch thick
**various others taking sides in the tug of war/being entrusted with the pencil/whatever (usually my side)
*ladle for the subtraction stew being taken from Joe and kept away by a group of us after he was being violent
**Mary being called ladle girl after that by Joe (then George(her brother), then Cheryl(her sister)…)
*everyone who didn’t understand some math concept trying to do their homework (when we were waiting for the faculty meeting to end so we could take the stage) coming to me for help
**the advisors pointing me out when someone asked them about a math concept in their homework (the advisors were English teachers)
*Joe/Mathemagician/ “RavenCrow Neversmiles” (well, I guess if I can be curious and questioning he can be that) claiming to be emo and me challenging it (he is so not emo!)
*playing card games (spit, go fish, that one with the weird rules)
*iPods and Weird Al
And now for something completely different: Quotations!
I always have a quotation at the very end of my email signature, the line after pwt pwns.I have a ridiculously long signature, containing all my pseudonyms on various sites, so it would be mostly censored if I tried to post it here. The quote’s currently: “But how do you prove there’s a fish on the parallelogram?” -me
For a while it was I’m your only friend I’m not your only friend but I’m a litte glowing friend but really I’m not actually your friend but I am…
</obsession>
Now, though, I’m curious. How much of my signature would be censored? Sorry, GAPAs, for testing the boundaries by posting content that’s in doubt. I know I should try to avoid that. I know I do the opposite of that a lot.
From, Annie
aka the blue water buffalo
aka curious and questioning [https://musefanpage.com/blog]
aka Curious and questioning [http://www.tmbw.net/wiki/index.php/User:Curious_and_questioning]
formerly known as the Dodecahedron
~and much more~
pwt pwns
“But how do you prove there’s a fish on the parallelogram?” -me
All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears – of falling, of the dark, of lobsters, of falling on lobsters in the dark, of speaking before a Rotary Club, and of the words “Some Assembly Required.”- Dave Barry
109- the last one is from harry potter and the half blood prince. Dumbledore said that.
Now for some random HP quotes:
“Ron, we’re supposed to show the first-years where to go!”
“Oh, yeah,” said Ron, who had obviously forgotten. “Hey-hey you lot! Midgets!”
“Ron!””Well, they are, they’re twitchy…”
“There you go, Harry,” Ron shouted over the noise. “You weren’t being thick after all – you were showing moral fiber!”
Hermione: “Just because you’ve got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn’t mean we all have.”
Ron:” A person couldn’t feel all that at once, they’d explode!”
“I hope you’re pleased with yourselves. We could all have been killed – or worse, expelled. Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to bed.” Hermione
“Give her hell from us, Peeves.” Fred and George
You don’t want to bottle your anger up like that, Harry, let it all out,” said Fred, beaming. “There might be a couple people fifty miles away who didn’t hear you.”
“We’ll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat!” – George
“To the well organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.” Dumbledore
“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” Dumbledore
“Humans have a knack for choosing precisely the things that are worst for them.” Dumbledore
“Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!” Dumbledore
“What do I care how ‘e looks? I am good-looking enough for both of us, I theenk!”
– Fleur Delacour
“Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can’t see where it keeps its brain.”
– Mr. Weasley
128- They are real posters. Some were in the Muse article on self-esteem way back when. Look at them all at www . despair . com in the archives section, if the dear GAPAs allow. They decorated the insied of my locker and asignmet notebook for the better part of the year.
Oh, COME ON. Nobody’s quoted Jeannette Rankin? do you people pay ANY attention in history?
“We are half the people, we should be half the congress”- J. R.
“You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake!”- J. R.
“Nothing eventually becomes everything, and everything becomes infinity.”
– The Infinite Adventures of Rodney Appleseed, in, Nothing Happens by someone whose name I don’t remember.
“A book is like a garden carried in the pocket” – Chinese proverb
“If you can dream, but not make dreams your master, If you can think but not make thoughts your aim, If you can meet with triumph and diaster, and treat those two imposters just the same .”
– an excerpt from IF by Rudyard Kipling
“Music is an outburst of the soul “- I can’t spell his name and can hardly remember it. Will look up later.
“Those things will seriously damage your health. And if they don’t, I might.”
Domovoi Butler, talking to a group of cigarette-smoking teenagers, in Artemis Fowl: The Opal Deception, by Eoin Colfer
147- No, of course not. I sure hope not. But it’s not the kind of thing I enjoy normally. It’s kind of like admitting I like a pop song, or something. It’s not really my style.
“Scribble your name on half the city and it’ll be yours”
-Banksy
I use this for yearbooks.
148- I feel like I’m riding on a little kid’s ride at the fair when I’m reading them. But I still do anyway….
If you do not sing through writing, if you do not cry through writing, if you do not breathe through writing, then don’t write, because our culture has no use for it.
Books are not merely ‘movies in waiting.’
Writing stories is magic, too.
Poems are language stripped of everything, with some magic thrown in.
“To have a mind burgeoning with ideas, and to put any number of them on paper in glorious beginnings, and then to stuff them ignominiously into the back of the closet of your mind to make room for a fresh crop- that is the only true sign of a fertile imagination.”
– Prarilius Canix.
“Better to run away to the woods than to the city. Here, there is the world to occupy the mind.”
Jean Craighead George, in the preface to My Side of the Mountain.
“Once in a very rare year, comes along a new book, and I say, as I’m reading, as my eyes eat the words without a blink, as my heart and mind grab each other, This, I say, is The Best Book.”
-Jill Robinson
“Be you reader or writer, it is very pleasant to run away in a book.”
-Jean Craighead George
“The greatest gift is a passion for reading.”
Elizabeth Hardwick (whoever that is)
There is no den in the wide world to hide a rogue. Commit a crime and the earth is made of glass. Commit a crime, and it seems as if a coat of snow fell on the ground, such as reveals in the woods the track of every partridge, and fox, and squirrel.
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 – 1882)
With foxes we must play the fox.
Dr. Thomas Fuller (1654 – 1734), Gnomologia, 1732
The fox has many tricks. The hedgehog has but one. But that is the best of all.
Desiderius Erasmus
Dutch author, philosopher, & scholar (1466 – 1536)
The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of Man hath not where to lay his head.
Bible, Matthew viii. 20.
The English country gentleman galloping after a fox – the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable.
Oscar Wilde (1854 – 1900)
Isaiah Berlin once said that there are two kinds of writers, hedgehogs and foxes. He said the fox knows many things, the hedgehog knows just one thing. So Shakespeare is a typical fox; Tolstoy and Dostoyevsky are typical hedgehogs. Now, I’m a typical hedgehog. I know just one thing, and I repeat it over and over again. I try to approach it from different angles to make it look different, but it’s the same thing.
-Colin Wilson
“And the fox said to the little prince: men have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed.â€
-Antoine De Saint-Exupery, The Little Prince
When a fox walks lame, the old rabbit jumps.
-American Indian Proverb, Oklahoma
“When a fox preaches, take care of your geese.â€
“It is a stupid goose that listens to the fox preachâ€
“I am sometimes a fox and sometimes a lion. The whole secret of government lies in knowing when to be the one or the other.â€
Napoleon Bonaparte
“The fox condemns the trap, not himself.â€
William Blake
“An old fox understands the trapâ€
“The fox changes his fur but not his habitsâ€
“The fox provides for himself, but God provides for the lion.â€
William Blake
“The fox never found a better messenger than himself.â€
Irish Proverb
“A fox is a wolf who sends flowers.â€
Ruth Weston
“I know when it is necessary, how to leave the skin of lion to take one of fox.â€
Napoleon Bonaparte
“What the lion cannot manage to do the fox can.â€
“If the lion was advised by the fox, he would be cunning.â€
William Blake
“An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal – falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox.â€
Francois Truffaut
“Let every fox take care of his own tailâ€
Italian Proverb
“Though I am an old horse, and have seen and heard a great deal, I never yet could make out why men are so fond of this sport; they often hurt themselves, often spoil good horses, and tear up the fields, and all for a hare, or a fox, or a stag, that they could get more easily some other way; but we are only horses, and don’t know.â€
Anna Sewell
“When the fox cannot reach the grapes he says they are not ripeâ€
“The sleeping fox catches no poultry.â€
Benjamin Franklin
“Relatives are the worst friends, said the fox as the dogs took after himâ€
Danish Proverb
“It is not unprofessional to give free legal advice, but advertising that the first visit will be free is a bit like a fox telling chickens he will not bite them until they cross the threshold of the hen house.â€
Warren E. Burger
“Are we to have a church in which everyone’s judgment is equal to everyone else’s? That’s not a church, it’s chaos. Common sense dictates that you keep the fox out of the chicken coop.â€
“People came up: ‘I thought you were 6 ft tall.’ I’m average height – 5 ft 8 ins, skinny blonde. One guy says to me ‘So, where’s the fox from Mystic Pizza?’â€
Julia Roberts
“He goes to church on Sunday, He passes round the contribution box; But meet him in his office on a Monday, He’s crooked and as cunning as a fox; On Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday He’s robbing everybody that he can; But he goes to church on Sunday.
“A fox may steal your hens, sir, / . . . If lawyer’s hand is fee’d sir, / He steals your whole estate.â€
John Gay
“You talked animatedly for some time about language being the aniseed trail that draws the hounds of heaven when the metaphysical fox has gone to earth; he must have thought you were barmy.â€
“A fox should not be of the jury at a goose’s trial.â€
Thomas Fuller
“A foolish fox is caught by one leg, but a wise one by all fourâ€
Serbian Proverb
“It is a blind goose that cometh to the fox’s sermonâ€
John Lyly
“Like Aesop’s fox, when he had lost his tail, would have all his fellow foxes cut off theirsâ€
Robert Burton
“She blended in a like degree The vixen and the devoteeâ€
John Greenleaf Whittier
“She was a vixen when she went to school:
And though she be but little, she is fierce.â€
William Shakespeare
“I grew up feeling like the ugly duckling, and things have not changed that much. For some reason, Hollywood seems to have painted me as a gorgeous vixen at times or the sweet girl. I don’t get it.â€
Nicolette Sheridan
“Quotations will tell the full measure of meaning, if you have enough of them.’’
— James Murray, 19th-century
lexicographer of the Oxford English Dictionary
“…But there was another letter that came from a little girl, a young girl who was a student at the White Plains High School. And I looked at that letter, and I’ll never forget it. It said simply,
Dear Dr. King,
I am a ninth-grade student at the White Plains High School.”
And she said,
While it should not matter, I would like to mention that I’m a white girl. I read in the paper of your misfortune, and of your suffering. And I read that if you had sneezed, you would have died. And I’m simply writing you to say that I’m so happy that you didn’t sneeze….”
…Well, I don’t know what will happen now. We’ve got some difficult days ahead. But it really doesn’t matter with me now, because I’ve been to the mountaintop.
And I don’t mind.
Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I’m not concerned about that now. I just want to do God’s will. And He’s allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I’ve looked over. And I’ve seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land!
So I’m happy tonight. I’m not worried about anything. I’m not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord! ”
-Martin Luther King, Jr.
A coupleof quotes from what I think is Dr. King’s best speech.
The Little Prince! Someone else who has read it! I love that book. WE have the 50th anniversary edition with beautiful original illustrations. It always makes me sad, but it is so beautiful.
It has been remarked (by a lady infinitely cleverer than the present author) how kindly disposed the world in general feels to young people who either die or marry. Imagine then the interest that surrounded Miss Wintertowne! No young lady ever had such advantages before: for she died upon the Tuesday, was raised to life in the early hours of Wednesday morning, and was married on Thursday, which some people thought too much excitement for one week.
– Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell, by Susanna Clarke
Flattery is as important a machine as the lever, isn’t it, Saxonberg? Give it a proper place to rest, and you can move the world.
– From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler, by E.L. Konigsburg.
“If they love you,” he said, “very well. But do you think, Maria, that you can make them love you for yourself alone, by wrapping prisoners up in dirty handkerchiefs?”
– The Professor, Mistress Masham’s Repose, by T.H. White.
Lightningfang: Oh, but one thing makes the night bearable! And, my child, it is not hidden by a cloud like the moon.
Rillanya: What is it?
Lightningfang: I’ll be sure to tell you when I find it.
-me!
Rillanya: Candles are romantic. And highly flammable.
me. again.
About the time we think we can make ends meet, someone moves the ends.
-Herbert Hoover
He deserves Paradise who makes his companions laugh.
-The Koran
While one person hesitates because her feels inferior; the other is busy making mistakes and becoming superior.
-Henry C. Link
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrells when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
-Mark Twain
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You’d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
-Isaac Asimov
At twenty years of age the will reigns; at thirty the wit; at forty the judement.
-Benjamin Franklin
Clean your finger before you point at my spots.
-Benjamin Franklin
Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is hte stuff life is made of.
– Benjamin Franklin
Engineers liek to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
-Scott Adams
Every citizen willbe able, in his productive years when he is earning, to insure himself against the ravages of illness in his old age.
-Lyndon B. Johnson
“A ship is safe in harbor, but thats not what ships are for.”
– William Shedd.
“what really makes one a writer? When one can hardly sleep at night for the chattering of dialogue, when one can hardly look out the window without seeing them, your character. When one is filled with such a mad pasion to immortalize the goings on of fictional beings that it consumes you. Or if you own a pen. That helps too.”
– ? I read it and wrote it on a scrap of paper but forgot to write the author.
“I never thought that being obnoxious would get me where I am now.”
“Punk is always something that’s going to be with us and to try and explain that would be stupid at this point.”
“I sound like an Englishman impersonating an American impersonating an Englishman.”
“If school is practice for the future, and practice makes perfect, but no one’s perfect, then why practice?”
“No one’s really happy anyway. It’s not human.”
“Punk was the best education I’ve ever had.”
“So you’re like, ‘These guys are absolutely out of their minds.'”
“When someone is in a car accident and they’re driving at 100 mph, like that, whose record do you think he’s listening to at that time? Think about it.”
“There’s nothing wrong with being a loser, it just depends on how good you are at it.”
“(while shaking skull maracas) What the **** is that thing?”
“Throw mud at each other…see how many stupid things you can do to each other all at one time.”
–Billie Joe Armstrong, Green Day
“Hey, you know what? They can’t bleep this!”
“If you’re going to do something wrong, make sure you do it right.”
“I hope there’s lightning! I want to hold onto something metal!”
“All my religious beliefs are based on Star Wars. ”
“Now are any of these vegetables magic? I mean if I rub that bean on my foot will I run faster?”
–Mike Dirnt, Green Day
I am so tempted to put up some camp quotes. Unfortunately, most of these are the product of Silent Football, which is a game that is probably not familiar to most MBers and is difficult to explain over the internet. Let me just say that it has very little to do with actual football, and dividing the universe by zero causes all the inhabitants of the universe to have their organs torn apart.
Now, this is something I found on realcty. The quotes from games of silent football that I actually experienced are mostly innapropriate for museblog. This will probably not make sense, so ignore the first line or two if you must.
“You may not shrug a schrotum or schrotum a shrug. It’s the worst possible thing you could do. It’s dividing the universe by zero. It’s like… stepping on kittens. It’s like pouring milk on something that doesn’t… like… milk…”
That seems like an awful lot of introduction for one little quote.
There is a publishing book that has a quote at the beginning of every chapter. Here are a few.
Ideas are to literature what light is to painting.
–Paul Bourget
When you steal from one author, it’s plagiarism; if you steal from many, it’s research.
–Wilson Mizner
“Fool!” said my muse to me, “look in they heart, and write.”
–Sir Philip Sidney, Astrophel and Stella [1591]
I can’t write five words but that I change seven.
–Dorothy Parker
I can’t write five words but that I change seven–seven times.
–Me! (No this wasn’t in the book.)
Oh, that my words were now written! oh that they were printed in a book.
–Job 19:23
You may write for the joy of it. But the act of writing is not complete in itself. It has its end in its audience.
–Flannery O’Connor (Isn’t that a funny name?)
“Life occurs in the intersection of conflicting opposites. Accept that life as we know it is fundamentally imperfect, and try to find solace in the permanence of its flux.”
(190, 184) Her full name was Mary Flannery O’Connor. Many Southern women, including several of my cousins, have family names as middle names and go by them instead of by their first names.
“Nothing eventually becomes everything, and everything becomes infinity.”
– The Infinite Adventures of Rodney Appleseed, in, Nothing Happens by someone whose name I don’t remember.
Alice: How sweet of you to quote me via Rodney Appleseed.
Ross Anthony http://www.RossAnthony/books.com
www. AuthorIllustratorSpeaker.com
199- I got the book for my birthday a couple of years ago. It’s good if a little hard to follow, and even better if I completely suspend all images of logic as I know it (e.g. not thinking “where’d this elevator come from?”).
“Remember kids, say yessssssss to drawing and nooooooooo to drugs!”
~A guy on a 1980’s drawing TV show who had just drew drawn a cylinder in 3D
[Excuse the edit, Beavo, the grammatical dissonance was simply too much for me. –Rebecca]
“Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you critisize them, you will be a mile away, and you will have their shoes.”
– I don’t remember
187 – Mikey quote!!!!!!
Ah, but it’s a weird one.
See, as Pete Wentz sayeth, “Gay is not a synonym for s***ty.”
I’m actually not a big fan of Pete, but then –
“I will eat them until I vomit sugar and unicorns.”
– he has some good quotes.
“You’ve taken your first steps into a larger world.” -Obi-Wan Kenobi
“To make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.” -Carl Sagan
Everyone deserves a chance to fly – Wicked.
Those who claim to be wicked are seldom any worse than the rest of us, it’s those who claim to be good that we need to watch out for. (not sure if that’s accurate)
The proper name for buffalo is bison. – the internet
So does that mean that it’s now Bison, New York? – Me
“It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.‖ Jack Handey
“If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while you’re in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don’t know what to tell you.‖ Jack Handey
“Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you’ve never known before. But the ride always ends, and you end up feeling lonely and bitter. Wait. It’s not love I’m describing. I’m thinking of a monorail. “– Jack Handey
“Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: “Mankind.†Basically, it’s made up of two separate words-â€mank†and “ind.†What do these words mean? It’s a mystery, and that’s why so is mankind. ” — Jack Handey
184- Actually, Job 19:23 says – “Oh that my words were recorded, that they were written on a scroll”. As far as I know, when Job was writing, the printing press was far from being invented, and books a mere notion of the future.
“I hate being called emo. I mean, call us what you want. But I’d rather be called polka”-Jared Leto
“”I could b**** about certain political figures, I could talk about war, weapons and global warming, but it boils down to how people treat people. That’s the problem. People have evolved into something selfish, greedy and intolerant. People are unaccepting, because of religion, race, gender, sexual orientation? I’ve seen it in punk clubs and I’ve seen it in the world.” -Gerard Way
“If Relationship George walks into this room, he will KILL Independent George! … A George divided against itself CANNOT stand!”
~ George Canstanza from Seinfeld
187—-I saw a Frank Iero quote that said “Homophobia is gay”. I think I’m with Frankie on that one.
“I’m feeling much better now”
-Monty Python
“Sanity is overrated”
-Unknown, but I heard it from a friend.
“OOH! I have an idea! Let’s play hide-and-seek!”
-Urgo (from one episode of Stargate SG-1)
“You think your job is hard? Try being a parent!”
-Billie Joe Armstrong
“This song isn’t ant-american, it’s ant-war!”
-BJA (introducing Holiday)
Eric Yorkie: “So, this is a lot different than Phoenix, huh?” he asked.
Bella Swan: “Very.”
Eric Yorkie: “It doesn’t rain much there, does it?”
Bella Swan: “Three or four times a year.”
Eric Yorkie: “Wow, what must that be like?” he wondered.
Bella Swan: “Sunny,” I told him.
Eric Yorkie: “You don’t look very tan.”
Bella Swan: “My mother is part albino.”
He studied my face apprehensively, and I sighed. It looked like clouds and a sense of humor didn’t mix. A few months of this and I’d forget how to use sarcasm.
—-Twilight
“I’m an extremist, I have to deal with my own extreme personality, and I walk the fine line of wanting to die and wanting to be the ruler of it all.”
–Davey Havok
In defense of Brooke Shields, I should point out that when she said that, she had just turned 16. It was at a Congressional hearing about cigarette smoking (tobaccodocuments.org/pm/2026258663-8665.html). How many 16-year-olds can be sure they would sound super-intelligent under the same conditions?
And technically, you know, she’s right: Being killed doesn’t deprive you of your whole life, just the part you haven’t lived yet. She made the remark after talking about her grandfather, who had died of a tobacco-related illness — presumably after having lived a fair number of decades already.
So — dumb remark, yes, but with extenuating circumstances attached.
“We consider that the man who can fiddle all through one of those Virginia Reels without losing his grip, may be depended upon in any kind of emergency.” ~ Mark Twain
Janis: Gretchen Wieners knows everybody’s business, she knows everything about everyone.
Damian: That’s why her hair is so big, it’s full of secrets. – Mean Girls
Karen: Well… I’m kinda psychic. I have a fifth sense.
Cady: What do you mean?
Karen: It’s like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it’s going to rain.
Cady: Really? That’s amazing.
Karen: Well… they can tell when it’s raining. – Mean Girls
Karen: You know who’s looking fine tonight? Seth Mosakowski.
Gretchen: Okay, you did not just say that.
Karen: What? He’s a good kisser.
Gretchen: He’s your cousin.
Karen: Yeah, but he’s my first cousin.
Gretchen: Right.
Karen: So, you have your cousins, and then you have your first cousins, and then you have your second cousins…
Gretchen: No, honey, uh-uh.
Karen: That’s not right, is it?
Gretchen: That is so not right. -Mean Girls
Homeschooled Boy: And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals. – Mean Girls
“that sucks but still your hott thats probly where the sun burn came from the sun was so jealous that you were hotter then it so it burned you ahahaha.” – my friend jenna when we were talking about my sunburn
“Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.â€
Hebrews 11:1
“fear the coefficients!â€
-me
“napoleanic fighting: lining up and yelling ‘fire!’â€
-me
“Apparently the semester exam isn’t peppermint-worthyâ€
-Mrs. Pulliam (my alg2 teacher about how the principal at our school gave us peppermints for brain-power (?) during standardized tests but not during exams)
“I wonder what my clone would be like.â€
-me
“It’s like the potato famine!â€
-Brooke (about a nasty-tasting French fry…)
“It’s edible confetitti!â€
-me (about candy corn)(and yes I did not say confetti, but confettiti.)
Brooke: “pi is gay.â€
Me: “what?!!â€
Brooke: “Well, it’s not straight, is it?â€
Me: *headdesk*
(this makes no sense, but it’s hilarious. or maybe you just had to be there.)
“A tissue for your issues?â€
-me, spoken to no one in particular
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speller73, once again Lady of the 4 spdzk points says:
You can’t have your cake and eat it too, but you can have your cake and eat someone else’s.
All of life’s problems can be solved by letting a bear eat them.
On the streets of China…
*as many people as possible packed into elevator*
*someone pushes all the buttons*
*stops on floor, door opens*
*Chinese people stare*
Person: Geez, it’s like they’ve never seen a bunch of Americans in an elevator before!
Me: Hey, I still need to get my dad a present.
Jesse: You should get him a dragon!
Me: I don’t think they sell those here…
Jesse: Well get him a snake then!
Me: I won’t be able to go home. You can’t take Snakes on a Plane!
And that was the main event that made my first name Unintended Pun. There were a lot of them on that trip, but that’s the most memorable.
“I have nature in my socks!” -a friend with ivy/plants in her shoes
And now for the Avenged Sevenfold quotes. Bwaha.
Interviewer: A stranger comes up to you and asks you to describe Avenged Sevenfold’s music. What would you tell them?
Zacky Vengeance: I dont talk to strangers.
The Rev: I just want to get brutally murdered by my ex-girlfriend. I won’t want music at my funeral. Music will be the reason for my death so I will be bitter towards it at that point.
M. Shadows: You should throw a party for all of your friends though.
The Rev: Good point. Yeah, I’ll throw a party. You could make a life-sized dummy of me and stick it in the corner as if I’m at the party. How cool would that be?!
After this I get to change into my rocker clothes. My true self. Not evil Zacky, but SUPER evil Zacky. – Zacky Vengeance
Gah, I can’t fit anymore in this comment box right now..
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Turquoise, who is extending her name pointlessly says:
“Ford, you’re turning into a penguin! Stop it!” – Arthur Dent
“It’s irritatingly stupid, and I don’t like it.” – My mom
*friend with glasses watches me open my locker* “I’ve been watching you open this locker for almost two semesters, and I still don’t know your combo!”
“Why not?” *opens locker*
“All those little numbers confuse me.”
*forgetting friend has glasses* “You need glasses.”
*looks at me with a “duh!” sort of expression* “I have glasses.”
*falls over laughing
Dr. Horrible:
So that’s you know… coming along. I’m working with a vocal coach. Strengthening the “ahhaaâ€. A lot of guys ignore the laugh and that’s about standards. I mean, if you’re going to get into the Evil League of Evil you HAVE to have a memorable laugh. I mean do you think Bad Horse didn’t work on his whinny? His terrible… Death… whinny.
This is the one. Stops time. Freeze-ray. Tell your friends.
Captain Hammer, Corporate TOOL. He dislocated my shoulder… Again… last week.
I’m texting. It’s very important or I would stop. What are you doing?
No, I am. But they’re a symptom. You’re treating a symptom and the disease rages on, consumes the human race. The fish rots from the head as they say. So my thinking is why not cut off the head
What a random happenstance.
You’re driving a spork into your leg.
RIGHT. Freeze-Ray. SO as of tonight I am in the Evil League of Evil if all goes according to plan; which it WILL because I hold a P.H.D in Horribleness. See you at the aftermath. PEACE!
Captain Hammer threw a car at my head.
OH! Goodness. Look at my wrist. I gotta go.
Its curtains for you Dr. Horrible. Lacy, gently wafting curtains.
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AvalonGirl & Serafina & Songbreeze (2 brain poi says:
Dr. Horrible:
Awww! Ahhhhh! I’m in pain! I think this is what pain feels like! Oh mommy! Someone maternal! Get outta my way! I gotta get out! ~ Captain Hammer
This is a conversation my classmates and I had in english class. We were asked to define ‘happiness’.:
K: ”Happiness is that prickly feeling that bites at your toes.”
Z: ”like a pair of woolen socks?”
S: ”I thought ‘happiness was a smoking gun’?”
Me: ”I think K’s definition applies to frostbite, not happiness.”
Z: ”How would you know? For you, happiness is a warm veggie burger. ”
Ridiculous, isn’t it?
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POSOC with 5 BP and 60 IWP: 23 wung points embedded (bara brith, chorley cake), 5 wung points in transit (Ogbert's Siphon) says:
“A child is born, or soon adorned, with massive lust for learning.
A life of free discovery keeps neural embers burning.
This fervor fuels itself till schools attempt to standardize it
And nurse that thrill of learning till they thoroughly despise it.” Jef Mallett
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Beatlesrockr, John, and Hyjayko The Ingenious Swordsman says:
“Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and a dark side, and it holds the world together.”
“When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.”
“Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils …”- Louis Hector Berlioz
“The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.” – Robert Bloch
“Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.”
“When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car.”
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” – Homer Simpson
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.” – Douglas Adams
Ok, I think I should stop now…
“It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.” ~Jerry Seinfeld
“I will never understand why they cook on TV. I can’t smell it; can’t eat it; can’t taste it. The end of the show they hold it up to the camera, ‘Well, here it is. You can’t have any. Thanks for watching. Goodbye.'” ~Jerry Seinfeld
“My God, what is this salty discharge? Is this crying? This is terrible — I care!” ~Jerry Seinfeld
“According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two! Does that sound right? This means that the average person at a funeral would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.” ~Jerry Seinfeld
“If I had a son, I would name him Isosceles — Isosceles Kramer.” ~Cosmo Kramer
[seeing George on the floor with his pants at his ankles] “And you wanna be my latex salesman?” ~Jerry Seinfeld
Wow, I didn’t know we even had this thread! Sweet!
“Failing to fetch me at first, keep encouraged,
Missing me one place, search another,
I stop somewhere, waiting for you.”
–Walt Whitman
“Running cross-country is the closest man will ever get to flying.”
–Joseph VanderStel
“Come, gentle night, come, loving, black-brow’d night,
Give me my Romeo; and, when he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night.”
–Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act III Scene 2
Hold on, I forgot about these. Davey Havok said all of them. Be afraid.
-I was once told I was a powerful wizard by a homeless person.
-Fritch tells me matches aren’t vegetarian. I never knew. I liked matches.
-Some nice young lady got me fuzzy socks. How I love the socks and their fuzziness. A thank you for my bday present to the girl I did not meet.
-The people who send us fan mail written in blood say the nicest things, so it doesn’t freak us out too much.
-Yes I’m a lot prettier than you and you’re a girl…I noticed. Pfft, do you believe this? This girl is mad at me cause I’m prettier than her and she’s a girl. Don’t worry honey, nobody noticed.
-Random: Why are you guys so awesome? Davey: Fuzzy creatures.
-Interviewer: I read something somewhere about ‘the monster’. Davey, I wanted you maybe to explain something about the monster that came out. I was just wondering if you could share that with our viewers. Davey: I don’t know what the monster is. There is a monster. [Adam is giggling in the background] It happens in the studio, sometimes it happens on stage, [Adam can’t control his giggling] and it’s in my neck. Interviewer: It’s in your neck. Show that. Davey: [points] Right about here. Sometimes it happens when I’m just talking, like I’d be talking to you and the monster bites me. Interviewer: Alright. Davey: It hurts. Adam: He could just be standing there and all of a sudden just DROP [‘dropping’ arm motion] and be on the floor. Davey: Because of the monster. Interviewer: Man. Due to the monster? Jade: People probably think we’re a weird band because of this. People listening to this are probably thinking we’re just weird. Davey: Yeah I mean, this is not an attempt to be whack.
“Tho’ much is taken, much abides; and tho’
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are,–
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.”
–Tennyson, Ulysses
“Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands? And the rest of you, if you’ll just rattle your jewelry.”
– John Lennon, 1963, at the high point of the group’s set during the Royal Variety Performance before members of the British Royal Family.
“We ice skate.”
– George Harrison, 1964, when asked by a reporter “What do you do when you’re cooped up in a hotel room between shows?”
“You.”
– John Lennon, 1964, when asked by a reporter “What have you seen that you like best about our country?”
“I don’t know, it must be the weather.”
– John Lennon, 1964, when asked by a reporter “Why do you think you’re so popular all of a sudden?”
“So this is America. They must be out of their minds.”
Ringo Starr, circa 1964, arriving in America for the first time.
“I call it Arthur”
George Harrison, 1964, when asked what the Beatles called their haircuts.
“Bobby, if you don’t tell me how to fix this problem, I’m going to land this shuttle in Houston on your head!”
– My Space Camp teammates getting angry.
In French class (for an assignment, so all dialogue in french)
Me: Are you hungry?
My Friend: No.
Me: …Do you want to go to a French restaurant?
My Friend: Sure, but I’m not hungry.
Me: >.< What do you feel like eating?
My Friend: COOKIES!
Me: At a French restaurant!??
My biology textbook: Obviously, neither bacteria nor elephants cover the planet.
268 – Hahaha, I love those!
269 – *snigger* *sniggersnigger*
270 – Hey, MY Biology textbook said that too! It was talking about exponential growth or something…
271 – Very wise.
My sister: So, I’ve got this really cool joke! What did one mummy say to the other?
Me: I want my mummy?
My sister: No, I’ve got issues with tissues!
Me: *looks blank* What the heck???
My sister: *cracks up*
That was my bio textbook too. The Environmental book I suggest everyone uses is Miller, because it is great. Not the skinny one, the full polarbear Miller.
“How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?” –Woody Allen
“Here’s to our wives and girlfriends–may they never meet!”
–Groucho Marx
“Well, that covers a lot of ground. Say, you cover a lot of ground yourself. You better beat it – I hear they’re going to tear you down and put up an office building where you’re standing. You can leave in a taxi. If you can’t get a taxi, you can leave in a huff. If that’s too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff. You know you haven’t stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.”–Groucho Marx, to Margaret Dumont, Duck Soup
“The delivery boy was sixty-two years old, and there was no such person as Barney Northrup.” -“The Westing Game” by Ellen Raskin “Her parents were circus acrobats. Her parents were witches. Her parents were brain-dead vegetables in a hospital in Yuma.” -“Stargirl” by Jerry Spinelli “There it sat, unnoticed, year after year, until its time arrived, and the lock quietly clicked open.” -“The City of Ember” by Jeanne DuPrau “Rhonda? Is it really you?””I hope so. Otherwise someone’s played a very clever trick on me.” -“The Mysterious Benedict Society” by Trenton Lee Stewart “Huzzah, huzzah.” -“Walk Two Moons” by Sharon Creech. “Look, look, Mother! There’s a flower flying.” -“Bambi” by Felix Salten
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull:
“Fiensburg. There was twice as many.” “We were younger.” “I still am young!” “We had guns. Put your hands down, will you? You’re embarrassing us.” “Bet you 500 bucks we can get out of this.” *guy steps up* “Eh, let’s call it 100.”
“Don’t get clever, Boris. You don’t know him- KNOW HIM! KNOW HIM! YOU DON’T KNOW HIM! YOU DON’T KNOW HIM! YOU DON’T KNOW HIM! YOU DON’T KNOW…” *crash*
“Hit this guy.” “Who?” “Joe College. Hit him hard.”
“If you want to be a good archaeologist, you gotta get out of the library!”
“You’re a- a teacher?” “Part time.”
“One of the scorpions just stung me! Am I gonna die?” “How big was it?” “Huge!” “Good.”
“He’s your son.” “…why the **** didn’t you make him finish school??”
Creepy Cantina Guy in Episode Two: Hey, you wanna buy some death sticks?
Obi Wan: (force persuade): You don’t want to sell me deathsticks.
CCGIE2: I don’t want to sell you deathsticks.
Obi Wan: (force persuade): You want to go home and rethink your life.
CCGIE2: I want to go home and rethink my life.
Some of my favorite quotes of Edna Mode’s from The Incredibles :
“I don’t like to talk about the past, Darling, it distracts from the NOW.” -Edna Mode, The Incredibles
“Talk! There is too much of it, Darling, too much!”-Edna Mode, The Incredibles
“No capes!” (Proceeds to detail disasters that befell superheroes who wore capes.) -Edna Mode, The Incredibles
“Super models! Humph! There is nothing super about them! Nothing but tiny stick figures with puffy lips.”-Edna Mode, The Incredibles
Conversation between Edna Mode and Helen Parr (Elastagirl), The Incredibles
Edna: The baby’s suit can withstand temperatures up to one thousand degrees, is completely bullet-proof, and is machine washable, Darling, that’s a new feature.
Helen (Elastagirl): (Horrified) What on earth do you think the baby will be doing?
Edna: Well, I’m sure I don’t know, Darling. What powers does he have?
Helen (Elastagirl): Jack-Jack doesn’t have any powers.
Edna: He doesn’t? Oh, well, he’ll still look fabulous anyway.
Sorry for the double post, I have some more funny quotes.
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
-Homer Simpson
Row arrrgh gently boat ouch gently doon boat boat boat tiddly boatly merrily boat arrrgh – CRIVENS!
-WIntersmith (the Feegles trying to sing “Row, Row, Row Your Boat”)
A Minneapolis company has come out with a credit card size shotgun that fits in your wallet. The inventor says he invented it to give people a sense of security. Oh yeah, what makes you feel more secure than sitting on a shotgun? Now how does this work? What’s the first thing a thief steals? Your wallet, oh, now he’s got your gun too!
-Jay Leno
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
-Unknown
I hope this will resuscitate the thread: who can guess the source of any of these quotes?
“Nice to meet you, Rose. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!”
“‘Please relax,’ said the voice pleasantly, like a stewardess in an airliner with only one wing and two engines, one of which is on fire. ‘You are perfectly safe.'”
“He came onto our territory to kill Firestar! What did you think
we’d do? Take him to our camp and let him have first pick of the fresh-kill pile?”
“No, mademoiselle, I would not like to see the children’s menu. I have no doubt that the children’s menu itself tastes better than the meals on it. I would like to order a la carte. Or don’t you serve fish to minors?”
“It’s not that flavor of green!”
-Zinc, when we saw a guy’s green shirt not show up against a green screen on a camera, and were wondering if Hibiscus’ lighter green shirt would show up
“I’d like to do that to Mr. Joe. Minus the eating part.”
-Me, at a demonstration in which a marshmallow swelled up and melted in a microwave, and then we all got to eat some
“If you’re down and looking for some cheering up, then just head right down to the Candy Mountain Cave…”
-Me, at a gingerbread house display
“MUSEBLOG”
-What we wrote on the pin wall at the museum
291: Haha, I remember saying that! And after that, I said this, or something.
Me: It’s not that flavor of green.
Others: *crack up*
Me: Oh, I do that all the time. Once I said to Juliana- that’s Alfalfa- after I tripped and made a hole in the knee of my jeans, “I broke my pants.”
That wasn’t completely accurate, but oh well. And yes, I have said “I broke my pants.”
288- Is the last one from any of the Artemis Fowl books?
(also ♥ Doktah!)
“The beautyocracy has actually managed to convince women that, despite the fact that we are not bio-luminant plankton, it is natural for our epidermis to phosphoresce.”
-Twisty Faster on ‘glowing skin’
“A snarky woman who is underestimated by her peers falls for a snarky bastard from the upper classes who finds himself inexplicably drawn to her inner strength. There may be some comic relief and social commentary on the issues of the day as well.”
-Graeme McMillan on Jane Austen novels
“Every great scientific truth goes through three stages. First, people say it conflicts with the Bible. Next, they say it had been discovered before. Lastly, they say they always believed it.”
-George Agostinho da Silva in Science Week, January 9, 1998
Donna: “It’s weird, being with you, I can’t tell what’s right and what’s wrong anymore.”
Doctor: “It’s better that way.”
-Doctor Who (2005)-Planet of the Ood
“Who’s going to take us seriously if we don’t have a laser pointer?” -House
“There are two things that can really smash up your model rocket when it comes down- water and concrete. Mine hit both.” -Gemini from the Bad Astronomy forum.
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I-Man ((William II, Official Summary Writer's Secretary, whose job requirements include reposting the latest summary when someone is confused)) says:
“William, have you come because you need my help to save a certain distressing damsel? Or, rather, damsel in distress? Either one.” “No.” “Well then, you wouldn’t be here, would you? So you can’t be here. QED, you’re not really here!”
-POTC: At World’s End
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public like a frog who is not a cantaloupe and has gone on capitalization of proper nouns strike (9 useless wung points) says:
I googled it, but it bit me- the father of someone on the museblog that I am too lazy (and haven’t the slightest idea what thread it was on in the first place.)
299 – It’s from the play “After Sunset: We Need To Talk”, which takes place after New Prophecy. This one remains unguessed:
“‘Please relax,’ said the voice pleasantly, like a stewardess in an airliner with only one wing and two engines, one of which is on fire. ‘You are perfectly safe.’â€
288 – The last one is from Artemis Fowl, the third one I think?
301 – That one’s not from H2G2, probably Restaurant at the End of the Universe (though I’ve never read it, NtL already guessed H2G2 and that’s not it).
*Teacher opens door to stage*
Teacher: “Wow, I didn’t think my key would work here.
Me: Is that a skeleton?
Teacher: Ahhh! Where!
Me: No, the KEY, the KEY!
0
0
I-Man ((William II, Official Summary Writer's Secretary, whose job requirements include reposting the latest summary when someone is confused)) says:
I like the pajamas. Very Arthur Dent. Now, there was a nice man.
-Doctor Who
From the day they arrive on the planet and, blinking, step into the sun, there is more to see than can ever be seen, more to do than … no, wait, that’s The Lion King.
-Doctor Who
What a crazy random happenstance.
-Some online video, I forget what it was called but it was really funny
Wow, sarcasm! That’s original!
-Same video
I hate the homeless … ness problem.
-Same video
“Captain Hook rocks,” said Pex. “He would kick Barney’s purple butt ten times out of ten.” Chips sighed. “You’re missing the whole point of Barney. It’s a values thing. Butt-kicking is not the issue.”
-Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code
“That’s like in that horror movie. Y’know, the one with all the horror.”
“I think I saw that one. With all the words going up the screen at the end?”
“Yeah, that was it. Tell you the truth, those words kinda ruined it for me.”
-Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code
Zombie Ned Flanders: I’m feeling a mite peckish. Mind if I nibble on your ear?
Homer: *shoots*
Someone (can’t remember who): You killed the zombie Ned Flanders!
Homer: He was a zombie?
-The Simpsons
Is the purpose of this thread quoting books, movies, etc.?
Ooo, this is going to be fun.
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is “God is crying.” And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is “Probably because of something you did.”
-Jack Handey
Great spirits will always encounter violent opposition from mediocre minds
-Albert Einstein
I love quotations because it is a joy to find thoughts one might have, beautifully expressed with much authority by someone recognized wiser than oneself.
-Marlene Dietrich
As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.
-H.L. Mencken
I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me.
-Dave Barry
Red meat is NOT bad for you. Now blue-green meat, THAT’S bad for you!
-Tommy Smothers
I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.
-Garrison Keillor
1. I have loved the words, and I have hated them, and I hope I have made them right.
Liesel, The Book Thief
2. If I knew where poems came from, I’d go there.
-Unknown (By me anyway)
3. The strongest memory is weaker than the palest ink.
– Chinese proverb
4. That no life lives forever,
That dead men rise up never,
That even the weariest river,
Winds somewhere safe to sea.
– A poem, The Series of Unfortunate Events. 11 I think?
5. Life is the epitome of an enigma
-Unknown (By me anyway)
More to come.
6. Be yourself, because the people who matter don’t mind, and the people who mind don’t matter.
-Dr.Seuss
7. Everyone prefers fighting by choice.
-Un Lun Dun
8. I leave on the morrow to seek my wings.
– The Book of Flying
9. To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else.
– An old female artist/author
10. Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones do.
– Unknown (By me anyway)
Ever more later
11. The world is quiet here.
– The Series of Unfortunate Events.
12. It’s a poor sort of memory that only works backwards.
– Pooh? The Hobbit?
13. Everyone dies frustrated and sad, and that is beautiful.
– Unknown (By me anyway)
14. I don’t want he world, just your half.
– Happy Bunny?
15. The sun stirs the earth. Around and around it stirs us, like stew.
-Unknown (By me anyway)
5- No, not The Hobbit, Through the Looking Glass. I don’t have any good quotes right now.
5 (14)- Ana Ng, They Might Be Giants (I think)
I won’t force you to.
-Ishmael (sp.?), The End, A Series of Unfortunate Events
Here are a lot of ones I like. I was going to send them to the “wordsofwisdom@musefanpage.com,” but it kinda died, so I didn’t. The email didn’t even work. But anyway, here they are:
—————————————-
“They never stop thinking about ways to harm our people and our country. And neither do we.†–George W. Bush
“The misunderestimated me.†–George W. Bush
“You don’t have to be tall to see the moon†–African proverb
“Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy†–Anne Frank
“That’s right. When I was your age, television was called books.†–Grandpa, The Princess Bride
“ ‘This must be a Thursday,’ said Arthur musing to himself, sinking low over his beer, ‘I could never get the hang of Thursdays.’†–The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.†–Helen Keller
“The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook.†–William James
“You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.†–Mark Twain
“It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness.†–Chinese Proverb
“You will never ‘find’ time for anything. If you want time, you must make it.†–Charles Bruxton
“She’s safe, just like I promised. She’s all set to marry Norrington, just like she promisted. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we’re all men of our word really … except for, of course, Elizabeth, who is in fact, a woman.†–Captain Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean
“COOKIE!†–Cookie Monster
“What a bunch of dodos…†–Big Bird
“You know, you don’t have to look like everybody else to be acceptable and to feel accepable.†–Fred Rogers
“In that particular moment, I was reconfiguring the warp field parameters, analyzing the collected works of Charles Dickens, calculating the maximum pressure I could safely apply to your lips, considering a new food supplement for Spot…†–Data, Star Trek
“ ‘Anyone can speak Troll, All you have to do is point and grunt.’â€â€”Fred Weasley, Harry Potter
3- re:Life is the epitome of an enigma
Are you sure you didn’t read me posting that as a quote from my friend (well… once, but now he won’t talk to me. drama sucks. Mark, if you’re reading this, email me. Even though you’re not reading this.) who hates it when I quote him and expressly asked me not to? Because that’s it, word for word.
5- re: Everyone dies frustrated and sad, and that is beautiful.
They Might Be Giants, Don’t Let’s Start
re: I don’t want he world, just your half.
It’s “I don’t want the world, I just want your half” (not to be obsessive or anything) and it’s They Might Be Giants, Ana Ng.
Once I posted a list of quotes and stuff I left on my calculator for when I turned it on. It contained those three quotes. Could you be remembering that?
7- My relentless emailing of mp3s and quoting Them and assertions that They Might Be Giants pwn have finally affected you!
ok, my quotes:
The obligatory Douglas Adams:
In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very mad and has been widely regarded as a bad idea.
The just-as-obligatory Monty Python:
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
(go look up the rest yourself)
Your vocabulary is too copious for the dimensions of my understanding. Would you please elucidate with a little more simplicity?
– since I’m already in Mark’s bad graces, this can’t make it that much worse
The Dodecahedron’s quotes (Phantom Tollbooth):
Just because you have a choice, it doesn’t mean one of them has to be right.
…as long as the answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong?
me:…Why, did you know that if a beaver 2 feet long with a tail a foot and a half long can build a dam 12 feet high and 6 feet wide in 2 days, all it would take to build Boulder Dam is a beaver 68 feet long with a 51 foot tail?
Humbug: Where would you find a beaver that big?
me: I don’t know, but if you did, you’d certainly know what to do with it.
It seems that I ought to read The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.
“Some call me… Tim.”
-Monty Python and the Holy Grail
“Kittens are cute. Then they turn into cats.”
-My mom, who really does love cats.
“Even the fattest, laziest, greediest housecat had an adittude that said, ‘Yes, I am fat, lazy and greedy and rather good at it too, don’t you think?'”
– Lionboy
“Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
– Everyone know where that came from.
9- Small correction. “This has made a lot of people very angry…” The British tend to use “mad” to mean insane rather than upset. I love the phantom tollbooth quotes.
You live and learn. At any rate, you live.
-Douglas Adams (Marvin)
Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
-King of Siam, The King and I (film version)
9-
If you die alone, that cat will eat you.
-Craig Ferguson
5- Lewis Carrol (it’s a poor sort…)
Oh. Someone already pointed that out. Oh well.
“Poataoes. Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew.”
-Samwise. More recently turned into a song on Albinoblacksheep. But that’s where it came from.
LotR is on tv,to explain that quote.
I’d like to know
What this whole show
Is all about
Before it’s out.
–Piet Hein, Grooks
He who feels punctured must first have been a bubble.
–Lao Tzu
oops. 12 should say “10” not 9.
“You can swim all day in the Sea of Knowledge and still come out dry. Most people do.”
~Norman Juster in “The Phantom Tollbooth”
“If life gives you a lemon, sit down and eat the dang lemon.”
~Unknown
And my personal favorite:
“Life is not a journey to arrive at the grave in a well preserved body, carried in slowly. Life is a journey to arrive at the grave skidding in sideways, totally burned out, shouting, ‘Holy s*** what a ride!'”
All we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.
-Edgar Allan Poe
“Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not
sure about the former.”
– Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.â€
-Eleanor Roosevelt
“There are two ways to look at the world. One is as if nothing were a miracle the other is as if everything isâ€
-Albert Einstein
I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
-Albert Einstien
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.
-J.R.R. Tolkien
“Always after a defeat and a respite, the Shadow takes another shape and grows again.”
– Gandalf
“I wish it need not have happened in my time.”
– Frodo
“So do I, and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
– Gandalf
“Dancing is silent poetry.”
– Simonides (556-468bc)
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
– Albert Einstein
The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science.
– Albert Einstein
Astronomy compels the soul to look upwards and leads us from this world to another.
– Plato
Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
– Mark Twain
He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.
– Friedrich Nietzsche
Reserve your right to think, for even to think wrongly is better than not to think at all.
– Hypatia
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
– Niels Bohr
Wisdom begins in wonder.
– Socrates
“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”
-Anais Nin
When we blindly adopt a religion, a political system, a literary dogma, we become automatons. We cease to grow.
Anais Nin
… Everybody has a secret world inside of them. I mean everybody. All of the people in the whole world — no matter how dull and boring they are on the outside. Inside them they’ve all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds… Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands, maybe. Chapter Six, I Woke Up And One Of Us Were Crying (Sandman/Neil Gaiman)
“A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.”- Oscar Wilde
“I think we dream so we don’t have to be apart so long. If we’re in each other’s dreams, we can be together all the time.”
-Calvin and Hobbes
Witchery is merely a word for what we are all capable of.
Charles de Lint
“Writers don’t have groupies. Unless they’re Neil Gaiman.” — Jane Yolen
“I’ve never heard ‘mimeographs are just like bicycles’ before.” — Adam Stemple
“I was just saying to Charles Vess, you girls are like a gaggle of crow girls.” — Charles de Lint, in reference to some friends and I when we met him.
“Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands? And the rest of you, if you’ll just rattle your jewelry.”
– John Lennon, 1963, at the high point of the group’s set during the Royal Variety Performance before members of the British Royal Family.
“We ice skate.”
– George Harrison, 1964, when asked by a reporter “What do you do when you’re cooped up in a hotel room between shows?”
“You.”
– John Lennon, 1964, when asked by a reporter “What have you seen that you like best about our country?”
“I don’t know, it must be the weather.”
– John Lennon, 1964, when asked by a reporter “Why do you think you’re so popular all of a sudden?”
“So this is America. They must be out of their minds.”
Ringo Starr, circa 1964, arriving in America for the first time.
“I call it Arthur”
George Harrison, 1964, when asked what the Beatles called their haircuts.
“There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don’tâ€
I want to touch the heart of the world and make it smile.
Charles de Lint
It’s good to have mysteries. It reminds us that there’s more to the world than just making do and having a bit of fun.
Charles de Lint
Remember the quiet wonders. The world has more need of them than it has for warriors.
Charles de Lint
only one of those de Lint ones (the ones that refers in part to me) was when I met him, by the way. Most are from his books, I think.
There are two words I want America to remember me for. The first one is “peace”. The second one is “human rights”.
-Jimmy Carter
Don’t Panic!
-HG2G (of course)
Hope is slip-sliding away, like a moose down a drain. That is, a big moose, and a very little drain.
-ME!
it’s not that easy being green-kermit the frog
i stand by all the misstatements i’ve said.-bush
19-Don’t you mean the HG2MB?
and weird)
-Me (Of course, right! Me=
“Whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed!”
-Elle Woods, in Legally Blonde
I refuse to answer that question, on the grounds that I don’t know the answer.
-Douglas Adams (Zaphod Beeblebrox)
I may be a pretty sad case, but I don’t write jokes in base thirteen!
-Douglas Adams
My name is Edmund Blackadder, and I’m the new Minister in Charge of Religious Genocide. Now, if you play straight with me, you’ll find me a considerate employer. But cross me and you’ll soon discover that under this playful boyish exterior, beats the heart of a ruthless, sadistic maniac.
-Edmund Blackadder, Blackadder II
I should never have switched from scotch to martinis.
– Last words of Humphrey Bogart
22-Well, that too, I suppose.
“I thought everybody knew about the Blood of Hailes!”
–The Dark Secret of Wheatherend, by John Bellairs.
dude!
–Me
16. How about a kiss, Saumensch?
-Rudy, The Book Thief
17. The slow days drifted on, and each left behind a slightly lightened weight of apprehension.
-Unknown (By me anyway)
18. One must not tie a ship to a single anchor, nor life to a single hope.
-Unknown (By me anyway)
19.A thousand enemies outside the house are better than one within.
-Proverb?
20. Remember that the most beautiful things in the world are the most useless.
– I found it in Pretties
21. Adventures can get into a person’s blood, even if they don’t remember having them.
– The Secret of Platform 13
22. Not all who wander are lost.
– J R R Tolkein
23. Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday.
– Unknown (By me anyway)
24. There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.
– Jerry Seinfeld?
25. Love is like war: easy to begin, hard to end.
– Proverb?
26.Everytime I open a boook a soul awakens.
Unknown (By me anyway)
27. But they woke him with words, their cruel dark weapons.
Unknown (By me anyway)
28. ‘Tis better to have loved and lost than ne’er to have loved at all.
-Tennyson?
29. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you look like so long as someone loves you.
-Roald Dahl, The Witches.
30. Time is ticking on, and so we must be gone.
Maybe that one’s Tennyson…
31. The most wise are those who know how little they know.
Proverb?
32.Mystery bores me.
– Death, The Book Thief
33. Greater love has no man than this, than to lay down his life for his friends.
– John 15:13
34. Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving foreward, opening up new doors and doing new things…and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.
– Walt Disney.
35. One person matters a lot when the one person is somebody you love.
– Children of the River?
“Never argue with an idiot, they’ll bring you down to their level, then beat you with experience”
-?
“Never teach a pig to sing, I wastes your time and annoys the pig”
-?
“How vast and how varied a field is agriculture, for such discovery…I view it as the most important subject which we as a people can be engaged in”
-Abraham Lincoln
“If athiests don’t believe in god, god doesn’t believe in athiests, therefore athiests don’t exist”
-?
“I reject your reality and substitute my own!”
-Adam on Mythbusters
“A good friend will get you out of jail. A best friend will being sitting next to you saying ‘Well, we screwed up, but it was fun.'”
-Unknown
“If life gives you lemons, throw them at the nearest tourist and call it tradititon”
-Unknown
I had a book of quotes, and once I find it, I’ll post some here. Until then…
“Speak softly and carry a big stick.” ~Teddy Roosevelt
“Celebrities are people who work all their lives to become famous and then wear dark glasses so nobody will recognize them.” ~Fred somebody, I think
36. At whatever hour you come you will find light and help and human kindness.
Above a hospital.
37. The mind cannot bear too much reality.
Unknown (By me anyway)
38. I don’t get nearly enough credit in life for the things I manage not to say.
How I Live Now
39. A brave heart and a courteous tongue shall carry thee far in the jungle, manling.
The Jungle Book
40. Intelligence without love is and empty thing.
Unknown (By me anyway)
“I’m the Commander guy. It says so in the Constitution thingy.”
-President Bush
[snip]
“It’s fun, damn it!”
-My piano teacher
“You were dead! I ought to kill you myself!” ~Wild Magic
The silence of half a hundred cats is a strange thing, like fifty individual silences piled on top of each other.
-Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell, by Susanna Clarke
But who can resist the pull of adventure?
-West of West, by me, as yet unpublished
And apart from that I can’t think of good quotes at the moment.
8- “They never stop thinking about ways to harm our people and our country. And neither do we.†–George W. Bush
38- Seriously? That’s funny.
some of these quotes are interesting out of context…
Be alert! The world needs more lerts!
That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons, even death may die. -HP Lovecraft
I dare do all that may become a man, he who dares less is not. -W. Shakespeare
It is the wonderful element of doubt that frees us, and allows us to reach the truth. -A.S.LaVey
Someone needs to slap them. -Alice Cooper, on emo kids.
CNN scares me more than any horror movie. -Alice Cooper
My dream’s but a drop of fuel for a nightmare. -Tony Kakko
I really like your magazine. Especially the vocabulary enrichment section. It’s really, really, really, really interesting. -Homer Simpson
God is dead. -Friedrich Nietzsche
And if he isn’t, he better have MEDICARE. -A.S.LaVey
where teh heck’d my post go? grrr…maybe i dedn’t hit submit…hmmm…
41. Home is behind, the world ahead, andthere are many paths to tread.
-The Lord of the Rings
42. It’s a dangerous buisness, Frodo, going out your front door.
– The Lord of the Rings
43. Some people are beautiful. Not in looks, not in what they say, just in what they are.
-I Am the Messenger
44. Who’s Pete’s Sake?
-A t-shirt
45. We are all ignorant… only on different subjects.
– Will Rogers
46. Without music life would be a mistake.
– Unknown (By me anyway)
47. Gazillions- It’s a technical term
– Anonymous
48. Strike that, reverse it.
– Willy Wonka
49. The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
– Unknown (By me anyway)
50. Sometimes I amaze myself.
– A t-shirt
51. Just because a poet says something doesn’t mean it’s true, only that it sounds good.
-Unknown (By me anyway)
52. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
-Unknown (By me anyway)
53. Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.
-Margaret Mead.
54. One hoped and the other despaired: they both chose their own lots and were righteously doomed to endure them.
– Wuthering Heights?
55. And all the scars of the ‘nevers’ and ‘maybes’ die…
-Unknown (By me anyway)
56. Nothing is worth more than this day.
-Unknown (By me anyway)
57. Things do not get better by being left alone.
– Winston Churchill
58. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.
-Churchill again?
59. What do we live for then if it is not to make life less diffivult for each other?
-Maybe that one’s Churchill
60. The ultimate measure of a man is not whare he stands at times of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
Hmm, I’m gonna go look up a bunch of prophesies.
47- And all the scars of the ‘nevers’ and ‘maybes’ die…
That’s from the song “Out Tonight” form the movie RENT
BELIEVE IT!!!
– Naruto Uzamaki
“A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.”
– Fats Domino
“My mother loved children — she would have given anything if I had been one.”
– Groucho Marx
“Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.”
– Yogi Berra
“The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.”
– Dave Barry
“I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.”
– Woody Allen
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money.”
– Henny Youngman
in my post 40, I was responding to 39, not 38.
“It’s just a harmless little bunny, isn’t it?”
-Monty Python (Tim)
61. It is a far, far better thing that I do than I have ever done before.
-From a famous book, If only I knew which one…
62. If music be the food of life, give me cxcess of it.
-Unknown (By me anyway)
63. Wuthering Heights is the name of Mr. Heathcliff’s dwelling.
-Wuthering Heights, no duh
64. Freedom is an illusion. It comes at a price.
-The Amulet of Samarkand
65.All children, except for 1, grow up.
-Peter Pan
66. To be grown-up is not the same as to be wise.
– The Lily something. It’s a book
67. Letting go is not the same as letting you fall.
– Ditto
68. On the other hand, you have different finger.
-Unknown (By me anyway)
69. I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, this just wasn’t it.
– My Fair Lady?
70. Kindness and intelligence. The two qualities that will save the world.
-Unknown (By me anyway)
71. Shame ought to be banished from the earth. It’s a totally useless thing. Shame paralyzes you until you can’t move forward or backward.
– Unknown (By me anyway)
72. It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.
– Some famous book
73. I am Oz, the great and terrible!
– The Wizard of Oz
74. It was the best of times, it was the worst of time.
-Great Expectations?
75. “Curiouser and curiouser,” cried Alice.
– Alice in Wonderland
You can’t fool me. There aint no Sanity Claus.
-Chico Marx
Do you rumba? (why yes) Well, I don’t, but I’ll walk around you while you do.
-Groucho Marx
If there was one person I wanted to kiss, it would be Madonna because I’m jelous that Brittany and Christina already got there.
-Stacy Ferguson
Death is boring.
-Somebody on the radio
It seems like all the hot people get kicked off!
-Jay Leno (on Dancing with the Stars and American Idol and Survivor)
W-well, when I was back in Craw-Crawford, my m-mommy used… well… she used to tell me a story about… well…. anyway, time goes march-um marching on. Like, it goes marching on. Right?
-George W. Bush (or an impersonator)
I told them I could’nt swim, but they did’nt belive me, so they casted me. And then I got really scared.
-Keisha Castle Hues (on Whale Rider)
It’s really scary!
-George W. Bush (on 9/11)
Oogy Boogy! How’d you like to feel the way she looks?
-Groucho Marx
Its Uh BEEE!!!! *falls down*
-A friend of mine
Please excuse Maxine, she fell out of a tree and misplaced her hip.
-Some excuse note given to my LA teacher
54- “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, this just wasn’t it.”
-Groucho Marx. I can’t believe I actually knew that one!
55- “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”
-Pride and Prejudice. I didn’t even read that book, but I got far enough to read that part. Unless it was something else that I did read.
“Baaaaaaaaaah!”
– Our sheep. Oh man, I could give some SCARY sheep quotes if I had the right book. Luckily, I don’t.
Sorry for teh double post…
Noah, you may be smart for your age, but you are not wise.
-Nadia in A Week from Saturday
56- Whoa, the girl in Whale Rider couldn’t swim?
55- 74 is from A Tale of Two Cities
Dwarves are very upsetting
– Rapunzel’s Prince, Into The Woods
56 – Stacy Ferguson? FERGIE!!! hahaha!!!1!1!!!! fergie rox!
Fine. I give up. One mind can’t concentrate on both TMBG trivia and random quotes if they want a 98 average. To Wikiquote!
*skips away*
*actually returns this time*
Can I just post links?
Let’s see. I don’t really mind much if they’re snipped, it’s just wikiquote pages for the Ninth Doctor, Douglas Adams, and some of the more tame Monty Python.
[Snipped they are — Rosanne]
if all is lost, where is it?
63- Good point!
Oh, great warrior, hmm? War does not make one great.
– Yoda
There are three things I refuse to tolerate. Cowardice. Bad haircuts. And military insurrection. And it is unfortunate that our friend Vegeta possesses all three of these.
– Frieza
(to Cell) I might just be a pothole in the road for you, but it’s gonna be one heck of a deep pothole!
– Tenshinhan
yays!
“Funny how no one ever looks up.”
– Someone or other whose name I can’t remember (Kiki, O other-Keys-to-the-Kindom-fan, do you know?) in Drowned Wednesday, by Garth Nix.
“Reality’s lying a flight of stairs above me.”
“My loyalty is to my heart. My heart follows my eyes, and my eyes have moved on.”
“How alien, alas, are the streets of the city of grief.”
“Bridges are between places, they bend through time and soace and who knows on what shore they’ll cast you.
” I must find my wings or perish in the undertaking.”
“At journey’s end, at evening,
arriving in a remote town,
I walk through deserted streets
to a certain house, knock upon a certain door,
and only as it opens do I see
I stand on my own doorstep
and beyond the threshold a road descends
anew through a landscape I left
so long ago.”
“Courage is the swallowing of one’s life, whole.”
“The kiss is the keenest dagger.”
“The first step on a tightrope must carry you to the other side.”
These were first posted on the Books and Reading thread Part 3, and they are from The Book of Flying.
“Death!!! Destruction!!! Doom!!!”
-me at random
new Alt. Ego thread!! w00t!
You know, that place, with that guy, who did that thing? Blagh.
– My friend Molly. Sometimes she can be a ditz.
“‘Light fuse and get away’ may work for a Roman candle, but not so much for the wrath of a woman scorned.”
– J. Jaques
“Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.”
– John Barrymore
“Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it.”
– Christopher Morley
“What I give form to in daylight is only one per cent of what I have seen in darkness.”
– M. C. Escher (awesome guy! very cool paintings)
“Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.”
– Matt Groening
“Life is just one damned thing after another.”
– Elbert Hubbard
“It’s not true that life is one damn thing after another; it is one damn thing over and over.”
-E. Millay or something
“Life isn’t fair. It’s just fairer than death, that’s all.”
– Someone in the Princess bride… don’t remember their name
“You can’t have a light without a dark to stick it in.”
– Arlo Guthrie
“Call me Speedbump, for it proves I shall lay down my life for you.”
– The cat, Corpses, Carnations, the Weirdness Index, and of course Aunt Gloria.
There are those who look at things the way they are and ask why. I dream of things that never were and ask why not?
-George Bernard Shaw
(73),
Actually, George Bernard Shaw didn’t say that; he wrote it in a play for one of his characters to say. In this case, the character was the serpent in the Garden of Eden.
That’s one problem with quotations taken out of context: no context.
74- eh, I found it somewhere else.
“some people are like slinkeys, they aren’t much good for anything but you can still smile when you see them tumble down the stairs”
-annonymous
“When nothing is sure, everything is possible.”~ Margaret Drabble
“Be courageous. It’s one of the only places left uncrowed.” ~Anita Roddick
“And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.”~Erica Jong
“My favorite thing is to go where I’ve never been.” ~Diane Arbus
“You cannot advance when you concentrate on retreat.”~ Sue Sikking
“For the sake of making a living we forget to live.” Margaret Fuller
“Life is too short to short yourself on life.”~ Terri Zadra
“Adventure is worthwhile in itself.”~ Amelia Earhart
“He who walks in another’s tracks leaves no footprints.”~ Helen Ottway
“The more you get, the more you got to take care of.”~ Alice Dormann
“Having it all doesn’t necessarily mean having it all at once.” ~Stephanie Luetkehaus
“You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.”~ Margaret Thatcher
“Success doesn’t come to you. You go to it.”~ Marva Collins
“The formula for success is simple: do your best and someone might like it.”~ Marva Collin
“Excellence makes people nervous.”~ Shana Alexander
“If I’m too strong for some people, that’s their problem.”~ Glenda Jackson
“Light tomorrow with today.”~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning
“If only we’d stop trying to be happy, we could have a pretty good time.”~ Edith Wharton
“Worry is a misuse of the imagination.”~ Audrey Woodhall
“Never let the urgent crowd out the important.”~ Kelly Catlin Walker
“The main thing is to keep the maing thing the main thing.”~ Kelly Ann Rothaus
“For fast-acting relief try slowing down.”~ Lily Tomlin
“If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun.”~ Katharine Hepburn
59-Yeah. She said that she could swim when they picked her, but she really couldn’t swim as well as she claimed too. So when they said ‘hey you are going to ride the back of a whale’ she got all creeped out. She says she was crying when she came up from that scene when she rides the whale undewater. I thought that was just bad animation, but no, its a real whale!
61-Yep, Stacy Ferguson is Fergie. I love her too, (number 5 on my artistz list) but I find it scary that she wanted to kiss Madonna…
I’m made of wax, what are you made of?-Teddy Rosevelt (not really though) in Night at the Museum
Dexter is just a little butterball of fun, isn’t he?-Ciel in Night at the Museum
I ain’t pickin up all that doo!-Taxi Driver in Night at the Museum
Oh, that’s just fine. Make fun of the history geek.-Rebecca in Night at the Museum
[snipity-snip!-Rebecca]-Rebecca Lasely
[confidential to GAPAS-THANK YOU!!!!-Beavo]
59-Yep, she couldn’t swim. Or, she couldn’t swim all that well. She claimed she could swim really well when they asked her, but when they said ‘hey guess what you are going to ride a whale’ she got all freaked out. She said (in the DVD) that she came out of the water crying in the scene where she rides the whale… I thought that was bad animation, but she was really riding a whale!
61-Yep, Stacy Ferguson is Fergie. I love her too (number 5 on my artistz list) but I find it weird that she would want to kiss Madonna…
I’m a PUPPET!!!-Yoda in Thumb Wars
I’m made of wax, what are you made of?-Teddy Rosevelt in Night at the Museum
Dexter is just a little butterball, isn’t he?-Ciel in Night at the Museum
All right Civil War guys. South, I’m sorry, slavery is wrong, North wins. But you guys still get… the Almond Brothers and…. Nasacar!
70-lol
Does anyone know any good theater/drama/art /music related quotes? Mainly theater/drama though.
All the worlds a stage and all the men and women merely players?
(Shakespeare [Jaques], As You Like It)
Sorry, I’m not much help.
80-All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.
They have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.
at first the infant, mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms.
Then the whining school-boy, with satchel and shining morning face, creeping like snail unwillingly to school.
Then something about someone sighing like a furnace with a woeful ballad made to his mistress’s eyebrow, then I don’t really remember after that. I used to know a lot more.
ahh. my post!! it was cut off. it sounds like im saying nothing. *realizes* d’oh. i made a heart wita bracket and a three, and bloody wordpress thought it was html. o well. reposts
ghandi on western civilization: it would be a good idea.
Helpful hints:
(1) “Spell out” the angle brackets (& lt ; and & gt ; , for “less than” and “greater than”) if you don’t want WordPress to interpret them as HTML code.
(2) If you spell Mohandas Gandhi’s name correctly (with a “dh,” not a “gh”), then you’ll be ahead of about 50 percent of the people who quote him.
84-Whoa. That many people can’t spell Gandhi?
(85),
It’s a slight exaggeration. A couple of quick Google searches (for “gandhi -ghandi +mahatma” and then “ghandi -gandhi +mahatma”) suggest that the ratio of correct spellings to misspellings is actually about 5:1. That’s still a lot of misspellings, and you do notice them once you get attuned to them.
(17) e~a, I love all your quotes. They cheered me up.
“‘I go to encounter for the millionth time
the reality of experience.
And to forge in the smithy of my soul,
the uncreated conscience of my race.’
—James Joyce
“You Go to a Fight, and a Boston Pops Concert Brakes Out.”
-wonderful NYT headline
Sorry for the double post, but I’d never heard this one before and it is simply fabulous.
My fellow Americans, I’m pleased to tell you today that I’ve signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes.
-Ronald Reagan
89: lol! Didn’t he say that on some type of national broadcast when he thought the mike was off?
87- thanks! I like them too! In fact, I have a gazillion more. I have one document on my computer called “really good quotes” to keep some semblance of sorting and another just called “good quotes” those all came from “really good quotes”
Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. And I’m not sure about the former. -Albert Einstien
76. Where else could you be a housewife except in your own house?
– My Civics teacher
77. Life is like a boxcar of inertia.
-Bill Nye
78. Mimes not admitted unless accompanied by a speaking person.
-Bll Nye
79. I have seen the future and it is like the present only longer.
-Unknown (By me, anyway.)
80. Life is not about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself.
– Unknown (By me, anyway.)
81. Do not permit what you cannot do to interfere with what you can do.
-John Wooden
82. Life’s but a walking shadow.
-I’ve no idea
83. Deaht lies upon her like na untimely frost
-Don’t know this one either
84. Sometimes we have to create our own miracles.
-Still don’t know.
85. Wherever you live in th real world you find trouble and discontents, so you make up a somewhere else hat’s better.
-Slaves of the Mastery
86. None of us can do anything until all of us can do everything.
-Slaves of the Mastery
87. “I believe the attack will come before it comes. I believe it before there is any threat of an attack. I believe it mos of all when there is no reason whatsoever for an attack. That is why I am still alive.”
“Yes, but so am I.”
-Slaves of the Mastery.
88. “What else has only one entrance?”
“I have no idea.”
“A trap!”
-Slaves of the Mastery
89. Friend ship is nothing more than habit and convenience.
-Slaves of the Mastery
90. Better to be a slave and live than to be free and die.
-Slaves of the Mastery.
95- I like that book. Especially the cat. Let’s see if I can dredge up some quotes…
Nope. Sigh.
“i’m sorry, but I just don’t trust anything that bleeds for 5 days without dying”- South Park, on menstrual cycles.
“A poem is an echo asking a shadow to dance.”
– poster on my english teachers wall
“Hey, little Bart, want a dollar? Ah, ah, ah, you gotta sing ‘i’m a little teapot first! Heh heh heh.” Selma Bouvier, the simpsons.
“But lots of people have only one eyebrow, and I have that tattoo as part of my job.”-Jauqes, The Vile Village, A Series of Unfortunate Events, Lemony Snicket(I’d bet a large amount of money that’s not his real name).
91. It’s a natural human instinct, to love those in power.
– Slaves of the Mastery
92. Where’s the sense in punishing people who have done something wrong? No, punish people before they’ve done anything wrong, and then they won’t do it, will they?
– Slaves of the Mastery
93. A single act of terror forces obedence. Without obedience, there is chaos. With obedience comes peace and order.
– Slaves of the Mastery
94. Books are not merely ‘movies in waiting.’
-William Nicholson (Sp?)
95. Only the free can love.
-Slaves of the Mastery.
96. No one ever knows what will happen until it happens.
-Slaves of the Mastery.
97. Only a fool expects to love his wife.
-Slaves of the Mastery.
98. Freedom is vanity. Freedom is greed. It sets man against man.
-SLaves of the Mastery
99. Who knows what tomorrow may bring?
-Slaves of the Mastery.
100. You’ll never be a master to others so long as your greatest ambition is to please your own master.
-Slaves of the Mastery.
101. What is life but one long agony, ended only by death?
-Firesong
102. The stupid will inherit the earth!
-Firesong
103. An island is a place you can’t leave. The captain can’t leave this place. Therefore, it’s an island.
-Firesong
104. That’s the trouble with life. In the end, you lose interest.
-Firesong
105. Living is a tiring enough affair as it is.
-Firesong
106. THat’s just the way it is./Some things never change./ That’s just the way it is./ But don’t you believe them.
-The beginning of Naughts and Crosses.
107. We who are left behind watch you on your way.
-Firesong
108. I’ll never leave you. Even if I seen to be gone, I won’t be gone. I’ll always be with you.
-Firesong
109. If you’re going to die soon, you should love me now, before it;s too late.
-Firesong
110. Damn winter! Damn cold! Damn everything!
-Firesong, Albard
“English follows other languages into dark alleys, beats them up, and rifles through their pockets for spare vocabulary”
I don’t know where this comes from but I like it! ^_^
If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs, if we had some eggs.
– No idea.
It is a narrow mind that can only spell a word one way.
~No idea who said that, but I know it was in response to Webster’s Dictionary. [did I spell that right?!]
Where there are sheep there is peace.
– My mom, when we were in the barn in the dark and I was scared.
111. All those who gain power are afraid to lose it.
-Spiderman?
112. It’s not about the ending it’s about the journey.
-Smallville?
113. If you do not sing through writing, if you do not cry through writing, if you do not breathe through writing, then don’t write, because our culture has no use for it.
– Unknown (By me)
114. When we look upon death and darkness, we only fear the unknown.
-Unknown (By me)
115. And now…let us step out into the night and persue that flighty, tempest, adventure.
-Unknown (By me)
116. Good is a point of view.
-I dunno
117. Happiness left a not on your fridge. You’re on your on.
-I dunno
118. Lost love is still love
-Still dunno
119. Love is being stupid, together.
-I’ve no idea
120. Do not meddle i nthe affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
-I think that’s funny.
121. Fear the man who has nothing to lose.
-That’s famous
122. Never deprive a man of hope, for it may be all he has.
– I can’t remember
123. One can get used to anything if one wishes.
-I dunno
124. Arrogance must be earned.
-Still dunno
125. Writing stories is magic, too.
-GAH!! Still dunno
109- I like the one about writing a lot. I live to write.
110- That last one may be a spoof on something in LOTR:
Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are [something] and quick to anger.
– LOTR.
Only two things are stronger than [something], the power of Love and the power of Arithmetic.
– E. Nesbit, The Nine Whirlpools.
So, they’re a bit piecemeal, but I like them. Especially the last.
“You’re unique, just like everyone else.”
“Don’t be so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.”
“When the going gets tough, switch to power tools.”
“There is always more to see”
“If I tell you, you’ll try to stop me. If you don’t try to stop me, you’ll be court-martialed.”
-Dumbo Drop
Elitism
It’s lonely at the top, but it’s comforting to look down upon everyone at the bottom.
Idiocy
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
Irresponsibility
No single raindrop believes it is to blame for the flood.
Loneliness
If you find yourself struggling with loneliness, you’re not alone. And yet you are alone. So very alone.
Madness
Madness does not always howl. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “Hey, is there room in your head for one more?”
Power
Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. But it rocks absolutely, too.
There are to many good ones to list here. Demotivational posters rock. I taped them to my locker and in my asignment notebook… here’s one more that I like a lot:
Wishes
When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it’s really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you’re pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it’s death by meteor.
115- Hahahahaha. *snorts* *giggles* *dies laughing* *rises from the dead to say, “I was laughing mostly at the last one. But the rest are funny too.”*
“But – your name is Makepeace! And you want to start a war?”
“Yes, it is ironic, is it not? I’m rather fond of irony.”
– Sara and Makepeace, The Makepeace War, by Me.
Whenever you say Makepeace I think Simon Makepeace. I think he was in the book the Amulet of Samarkand.
118- Really? How odd. I chose it because of the irony.
“That is a very singular chocolate pot.”
– Kate, Sorcery and Cecelia, or, The Enchanted Chocolate Pot.
“We have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.”
-New England tombstone
Great. I’ll have to put my Makepeace quote in my edited book, because I forgot all about it. Oh well, Sara hasn’t learned outright that he wants to start a war. I’ll find a place for it.
118- His name was Quentin Makepeace, not Simon.
123- That does sound more familiar.
“Do what thou will shall be the whole of the Law” -Aleister Crowley
“We are sorry for the inconvenience.”
-God’s final message to creation, according to Douglas Adams
126-
“We apologize(or apologise) for the inconvenience”
– God’s final message to Marvin, may or may not be to all creation. (according, as you so rightly said, to Douglas Adams)
Sorry, I’ve read these books way too many times.
Marvin: “I am at a rough estimate thirty billion times more intelligent than you. Let me give you an example. Think of a number, any number.”
Zem: “Er, five.”
Marvin: “Wrong. You see?”
The mattress was much impressed by this and realised that it was in the presence of a not unremarkable mind. — Life, the Universe and Everything by Douglas Adams
115- Where did you hear those? They sound like actual posters. I like posters. So many of the quotes on this thread I want to post on my walls.
I am now going to read through my Phantom Tollbooth script and post all the good parts.
Quotes from the actual play(I’m probably missing a lot of good parts because 1. I’m so used to them and 2. I’m getting lost in the play and forgetting to write them) :
Time is important, but it’s what you do with it that makes it so. – Clock
It’s more important to know whether there will be weather then what the weather will be. – Whether Man
Expect everything, I always say, and the unexpected never happens. -Whether Man
Why not. That’s a good reason for almost anything. A bit used, perhaps, but still quite serviceable. -Gatekeeper to Dictionopolis
-end of act one-
As long as the answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong? – Dodecahedron
Just because you have a choice, it doesn’t mean any of then has to be right. – Dodecahedron
(regarding pencil) Use it well and there is nothing it can’t do for you. – Mathemagician
What you can do is often a matter of what you will do. – Princess Pure Reason
Many things are posible just as long as you don’t know they’re impossible. -Mathemagician
You learn more by being wrong for the right reasons then you do by being right for the wrong ones. -Reason
It’s not just learning that’s important. It’s learning what to do with what you learn, and learning why you learn things. – Princess Sweet Rhyme
For some people, an hour seems to last forever. For others, just a moment, and so full of thngs to do. -Clock
(The stage goes black in less than no time at all.) -Stage directions
Random joys from practicing (not in script, but I was reminded of them) :
*once, Rhyme was absent, and the girl who played Reason said both their lines, running to the other’s position
*original lines: Azaz(as they are walking offstage) : Now, don’t tell me you think numbers are as important as words?
Mathemagician:Is that so? Why, I’ll have you know… (they’re supposed to keep arguing until the audience can’t see them anymore)
one time: Mathemagician(still stuck onstage but trying to exit) :Is that so? Why, I’ll have you know that numbers are much more important then words, and your mother…
(now offstage) Mark, who played Azaz: you know, we have the same mother in the play. (Azaz and the Mathemagician are brothers (so you don’t get confused, Joe and Mark aren’t related))
*original lines:Page:…and the insect hereinafter referred to as the Humbug…
mistake:…and the bug hereinafter referred to as the Humbug…
mistake:… and the bug hereinafter referred to as the insect…
*Alex, the Page, mixing up the two times he had lines. example:
original:Spelling Bee (to Humbug) : You just watch it. I’m warning w-a-r-n-i-n-g you! *TRUMPETS*
Page: King Azaz the Unabridged is about to begin the royal banquet…
mistake: Spelling Bee (to Humbug) : You just watch it. I’m warning w-a-r-n-i-n-g you! *TRUMPETS*
Page: Henceforth and forthwith, let it be known by one and all, that Rhyme and Reason reign one more in Wisdom…
example: original: Minister 5: Cheers! *everyone cheers*
Page: Henceforth and forthwith, let it be known by one and all, that Rhyme and Reason reign one more in Wisdom…
mistake: Minister 5: Cheers! *everyone cheers*
Page:King Azaz the Unabridged is about to begin the royal banquet…
*one advisor, day before play: Anyone know any good jokes?
another advisor: So a man walks up to a tollbooth…
Jokes in my little group of people while waiting to go on(yes, these are not quotations, they belong somewhere else. Reading the play brought me back into nostalgia-land. Just ignore it if you mind. It was joy at the time. I miss the play. Don’t bother me.) :
*me trying to take the Mathemagician’s pencil, which is about a yard long, and actually a painted stick of wood thing an inch thick
**various others taking sides in the tug of war/being entrusted with the pencil/whatever (usually my side)
*ladle for the subtraction stew being taken from Joe and kept away by a group of us after he was being violent
**Mary being called ladle girl after that by Joe (then George(her brother), then Cheryl(her sister)…)
*everyone who didn’t understand some math concept trying to do their homework (when we were waiting for the faculty meeting to end so we could take the stage) coming to me for help
**the advisors pointing me out when someone asked them about a math concept in their homework (the advisors were English teachers)
*Joe/Mathemagician/ “RavenCrow Neversmiles” (well, I guess if I can be curious and questioning he can be that) claiming to be emo and me challenging it (he is so not emo!)
*playing card games (spit, go fish, that one with the weird rules)
*iPods and Weird Al
And now for something completely different: Quotations!
I always have a quotation at the very end of my email signature, the line after pwt pwns.I have a ridiculously long signature, containing all my pseudonyms on various sites, so it would be mostly censored if I tried to post it here. The quote’s currently: “But how do you prove there’s a fish on the parallelogram?” -me
For a while it was I’m your only friend I’m not your only friend but I’m a litte glowing friend but really I’m not actually your friend but I am…
</obsession>
Now, though, I’m curious. How much of my signature would be censored? Sorry, GAPAs, for testing the boundaries by posting content that’s in doubt. I know I should try to avoid that. I know I do the opposite of that a lot.
From, Annie
aka the blue water buffalo
aka curious and questioning [https://musefanpage.com/blog]
aka Curious and questioning [http://www.tmbw.net/wiki/index.php/User:Curious_and_questioning]
formerly known as the Dodecahedron
~and much more~
pwt pwns
“But how do you prove there’s a fish on the parallelogram?” -me
All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears – of falling, of the dark, of lobsters, of falling on lobsters in the dark, of speaking before a Rotary Club, and of the words “Some Assembly Required.”- Dave Barry
“First, God created Rain. Then Drizzle, then Mist, then Fog, and then: More Rain.”
– The Ancient One, T. A. Barron.
109- the last one is from harry potter and the half blood prince. Dumbledore said that.
Now for some random HP quotes:
“Ron, we’re supposed to show the first-years where to go!”
“Oh, yeah,” said Ron, who had obviously forgotten. “Hey-hey you lot! Midgets!”
“Ron!””Well, they are, they’re twitchy…”
“There you go, Harry,” Ron shouted over the noise. “You weren’t being thick after all – you were showing moral fiber!”
Hermione: “Just because you’ve got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn’t mean we all have.”
Ron:” A person couldn’t feel all that at once, they’d explode!”
“I hope you’re pleased with yourselves. We could all have been killed – or worse, expelled. Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to bed.” Hermione
“Give her hell from us, Peeves.” Fred and George
You don’t want to bottle your anger up like that, Harry, let it all out,” said Fred, beaming. “There might be a couple people fifty miles away who didn’t hear you.”
“We’ll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat!” – George
“To the well organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.” Dumbledore
“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” Dumbledore
“Humans have a knack for choosing precisely the things that are worst for them.” Dumbledore
“Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!” Dumbledore
“What do I care how ‘e looks? I am good-looking enough for both of us, I theenk!”
– Fleur Delacour
“Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can’t see where it keeps its brain.”
– Mr. Weasley
128- They are real posters. Some were in the Muse article on self-esteem way back when. Look at them all at www . despair . com in the archives section, if the dear GAPAs allow. They decorated the insied of my locker and asignmet notebook for the better part of the year.
131- “Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret…”
– Ron Weasly, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling
Oh, COME ON. Nobody’s quoted Jeannette Rankin? do you people pay ANY attention in history?
“We are half the people, we should be half the congress”- J. R.
“You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake!”- J. R.
“Comfort defines the Viking experience.”
– A travel magazine.
“But lightning is shiney!” -ebeth.
Still searching for a chance to use that.
I’ve never thought of lightning as particularly shiny.
“Nothing eventually becomes everything, and everything becomes infinity.”
– The Infinite Adventures of Rodney Appleseed, in, Nothing Happens by someone whose name I don’t remember.
“Nice to meet you Hector!”
-Stanly Yelnats in Holes
Random quotes from my+my freinds journel (don’t know who said what, sorry (or even which ones we made up ourselves)):
“Maybe partying will help.”
“Can’t sleep: Clowns will eat me.”
“Stay in the moment. Damn it’s gone.”
“Life is short, dance often.”
“Thank you for not being perky.”
“I am a shameless agitator.”
Wow. I decided not to post the controversial ones to avoid flaming, and the number of quotes greatly dwindled.
“A book is like a garden carried in the pocket” – Chinese proverb
“If you can dream, but not make dreams your master, If you can think but not make thoughts your aim, If you can meet with triumph and diaster, and treat those two imposters just the same .”
– an excerpt from IF by Rudyard Kipling
“Music is an outburst of the soul “- I can’t spell his name and can hardly remember it. Will look up later.
“Your father is a superhero. He was bitten by a radioactive man. He now has all the powers of a man. He is called ManMan.”
– Great Lies to Tell Small Children
142: His superhero outfit is jeans and a shirt from GAP. His arch-nemesis is called ‘all the stuff that needs doing’. Thrill to his exploits!
“He considered a moment and then laughed. ‘Think of me with my nose in a book!”
– Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell.
“Those things will seriously damage your health. And if they don’t, I might.”
Domovoi Butler, talking to a group of cigarette-smoking teenagers, in Artemis Fowl: The Opal Deception, by Eoin Colfer
145- Oh yeah! *glances around furtively* I rather liked Artemis Fowl, actually. *hopes this doesn’t ruin her reputation*
146- Why would it? Is Artemis Fowl considered the lowest of low literature around here?
147- No, of course not. I sure hope not. But it’s not the kind of thing I enjoy normally. It’s kind of like admitting I like a pop song, or something. It’s not really my style.
“Scribble your name on half the city and it’ll be yours”
-Banksy
I use this for yearbooks.
148- I feel like I’m riding on a little kid’s ride at the fair when I’m reading them. But I still do anyway….
I’m collecting quotes about reading and writing. Funny ones, deep ones… anyone have any to share?
“Anything is possible. It just depends on how you look at it.”
– Simo, Demo and the Dolphin, by Nathaniel Benchley.
“Can you eat power?”
– Simo, Demo and the Dolphin, by Nathaniel Benchley.
those who die rarely deserve death, and those that live rarely deserve life. that is the way of the world
-lord of the rings
not exactly how it is said in the move, yet the jist is there
If you do not sing through writing, if you do not cry through writing, if you do not breathe through writing, then don’t write, because our culture has no use for it.
Books are not merely ‘movies in waiting.’
Writing stories is magic, too.
Poems are language stripped of everything, with some magic thrown in.
“To have a mind burgeoning with ideas, and to put any number of them on paper in glorious beginnings, and then to stuff them ignominiously into the back of the closet of your mind to make room for a fresh crop- that is the only true sign of a fertile imagination.”
– Prarilius Canix.
“Better to run away to the woods than to the city. Here, there is the world to occupy the mind.”
Jean Craighead George, in the preface to My Side of the Mountain.
“Once in a very rare year, comes along a new book, and I say, as I’m reading, as my eyes eat the words without a blink, as my heart and mind grab each other, This, I say, is The Best Book.”
-Jill Robinson
“Be you reader or writer, it is very pleasant to run away in a book.”
-Jean Craighead George
“The greatest gift is a passion for reading.”
Elizabeth Hardwick (whoever that is)
153-wow…very deep
I try to be delicate, then crash right into it!
-Hannah Montana, Nobody’s Perfect
There is no den in the wide world to hide a rogue. Commit a crime and the earth is made of glass. Commit a crime, and it seems as if a coat of snow fell on the ground, such as reveals in the woods the track of every partridge, and fox, and squirrel.
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 – 1882)
With foxes we must play the fox.
Dr. Thomas Fuller (1654 – 1734), Gnomologia, 1732
The fox has many tricks. The hedgehog has but one. But that is the best of all.
Desiderius Erasmus
Dutch author, philosopher, & scholar (1466 – 1536)
The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of Man hath not where to lay his head.
Bible, Matthew viii. 20.
The English country gentleman galloping after a fox – the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable.
Oscar Wilde (1854 – 1900)
Isaiah Berlin once said that there are two kinds of writers, hedgehogs and foxes. He said the fox knows many things, the hedgehog knows just one thing. So Shakespeare is a typical fox; Tolstoy and Dostoyevsky are typical hedgehogs. Now, I’m a typical hedgehog. I know just one thing, and I repeat it over and over again. I try to approach it from different angles to make it look different, but it’s the same thing.
-Colin Wilson
“And the fox said to the little prince: men have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed.â€
-Antoine De Saint-Exupery, The Little Prince
When a fox walks lame, the old rabbit jumps.
-American Indian Proverb, Oklahoma
“When a fox preaches, take care of your geese.â€
“It is a stupid goose that listens to the fox preachâ€
“I am sometimes a fox and sometimes a lion. The whole secret of government lies in knowing when to be the one or the other.â€
Napoleon Bonaparte
“The fox condemns the trap, not himself.â€
William Blake
“An old fox understands the trapâ€
“The fox changes his fur but not his habitsâ€
“The fox provides for himself, but God provides for the lion.â€
William Blake
“The fox never found a better messenger than himself.â€
Irish Proverb
“A fox is a wolf who sends flowers.â€
Ruth Weston
“I know when it is necessary, how to leave the skin of lion to take one of fox.â€
Napoleon Bonaparte
“What the lion cannot manage to do the fox can.â€
“If the lion was advised by the fox, he would be cunning.â€
William Blake
“An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal – falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox.â€
Francois Truffaut
“Let every fox take care of his own tailâ€
Italian Proverb
“Though I am an old horse, and have seen and heard a great deal, I never yet could make out why men are so fond of this sport; they often hurt themselves, often spoil good horses, and tear up the fields, and all for a hare, or a fox, or a stag, that they could get more easily some other way; but we are only horses, and don’t know.â€
Anna Sewell
“When the fox cannot reach the grapes he says they are not ripeâ€
“The sleeping fox catches no poultry.â€
Benjamin Franklin
“Relatives are the worst friends, said the fox as the dogs took after himâ€
Danish Proverb
“It is not unprofessional to give free legal advice, but advertising that the first visit will be free is a bit like a fox telling chickens he will not bite them until they cross the threshold of the hen house.â€
Warren E. Burger
“Are we to have a church in which everyone’s judgment is equal to everyone else’s? That’s not a church, it’s chaos. Common sense dictates that you keep the fox out of the chicken coop.â€
“People came up: ‘I thought you were 6 ft tall.’ I’m average height – 5 ft 8 ins, skinny blonde. One guy says to me ‘So, where’s the fox from Mystic Pizza?’â€
Julia Roberts
“He goes to church on Sunday, He passes round the contribution box; But meet him in his office on a Monday, He’s crooked and as cunning as a fox; On Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday He’s robbing everybody that he can; But he goes to church on Sunday.
“A fox may steal your hens, sir, / . . . If lawyer’s hand is fee’d sir, / He steals your whole estate.â€
John Gay
“You talked animatedly for some time about language being the aniseed trail that draws the hounds of heaven when the metaphysical fox has gone to earth; he must have thought you were barmy.â€
“A fox should not be of the jury at a goose’s trial.â€
Thomas Fuller
“A foolish fox is caught by one leg, but a wise one by all fourâ€
Serbian Proverb
“It is a blind goose that cometh to the fox’s sermonâ€
John Lyly
“Like Aesop’s fox, when he had lost his tail, would have all his fellow foxes cut off theirsâ€
Robert Burton
“She blended in a like degree The vixen and the devoteeâ€
John Greenleaf Whittier
“She was a vixen when she went to school:
And though she be but little, she is fierce.â€
William Shakespeare
“I grew up feeling like the ugly duckling, and things have not changed that much. For some reason, Hollywood seems to have painted me as a gorgeous vixen at times or the sweet girl. I don’t get it.â€
Nicolette Sheridan
“Quotations will tell the full measure of meaning, if you have enough of them.’’
— James Murray, 19th-century
lexicographer of the Oxford English Dictionary
“…But there was another letter that came from a little girl, a young girl who was a student at the White Plains High School. And I looked at that letter, and I’ll never forget it. It said simply,
Dear Dr. King,
I am a ninth-grade student at the White Plains High School.”
And she said,
While it should not matter, I would like to mention that I’m a white girl. I read in the paper of your misfortune, and of your suffering. And I read that if you had sneezed, you would have died. And I’m simply writing you to say that I’m so happy that you didn’t sneeze….”
…Well, I don’t know what will happen now. We’ve got some difficult days ahead. But it really doesn’t matter with me now, because I’ve been to the mountaintop.
And I don’t mind.
Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I’m not concerned about that now. I just want to do God’s will. And He’s allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I’ve looked over. And I’ve seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land!
So I’m happy tonight. I’m not worried about anything. I’m not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord! ”
-Martin Luther King, Jr.
A coupleof quotes from what I think is Dr. King’s best speech.
The Little Prince! Someone else who has read it! I love that book. WE have the 50th anniversary edition with beautiful original illustrations. It always makes me sad, but it is so beautiful.
160- I read it. It was sad. But I liked the fox. (Even though it made me sad.)
It has been remarked (by a lady infinitely cleverer than the present author) how kindly disposed the world in general feels to young people who either die or marry. Imagine then the interest that surrounded Miss Wintertowne! No young lady ever had such advantages before: for she died upon the Tuesday, was raised to life in the early hours of Wednesday morning, and was married on Thursday, which some people thought too much excitement for one week.
– Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell, by Susanna Clarke
Flattery is as important a machine as the lever, isn’t it, Saxonberg? Give it a proper place to rest, and you can move the world.
– From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler, by E.L. Konigsburg.
“If they love you,” he said, “very well. But do you think, Maria, that you can make them love you for yourself alone, by wrapping prisoners up in dirty handkerchiefs?”
– The Professor, Mistress Masham’s Repose, by T.H. White.
“Obfuscation is tired of being eschewed. Obfuscate!”
– Ebeth
“In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland.”
– Barney Stinson
Who else here is reminded of FS
Or Zaphod Beeblebrox.
Lightningfang: Oh, but one thing makes the night bearable! And, my child, it is not hidden by a cloud like the moon.
Rillanya: What is it?
Lightningfang: I’ll be sure to tell you when I find it.
-me!
Rillanya: Candles are romantic. And highly flammable.
me. again.
166- Not immediately, but now that you mention it, yes.
168- That’s funny.
“Sarcasm isn’t your trademark thing.”
–My sister.
“Are you kidding? It totally is!”
–Me.
About the time we think we can make ends meet, someone moves the ends.
-Herbert Hoover
He deserves Paradise who makes his companions laugh.
-The Koran
While one person hesitates because her feels inferior; the other is busy making mistakes and becoming superior.
-Henry C. Link
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrells when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
-Mark Twain
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You’d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
-Isaac Asimov
At twenty years of age the will reigns; at thirty the wit; at forty the judement.
-Benjamin Franklin
Clean your finger before you point at my spots.
-Benjamin Franklin
Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is hte stuff life is made of.
– Benjamin Franklin
Engineers liek to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
-Scott Adams
Every citizen willbe able, in his productive years when he is earning, to insure himself against the ravages of illness in his old age.
-Lyndon B. Johnson
“It was only after we left the garden that we found the potential for Paradise.”
– a book
“A ship is safe in harbor, but thats not what ships are for.”
– William Shedd.
“what really makes one a writer? When one can hardly sleep at night for the chattering of dialogue, when one can hardly look out the window without seeing them, your character. When one is filled with such a mad pasion to immortalize the goings on of fictional beings that it consumes you. Or if you own a pen. That helps too.”
– ? I read it and wrote it on a scrap of paper but forgot to write the author.
173- I will add that to my list of quotes!
174- Okay,okay. I made it up. I thought it was sort of stupid so I pretended it wasn’t me. Sorry.
175- That’s okay. I’ll just say it’s from BiblioRose. I already have one from Canix.
I do think that the last couple of sentences are slightly unnecessary, though.
176- Say bibliorose with help from Melanie, Marie and Sara” They are my friends who helped me with it. The pen bit was Marias idea.
Melanie, marie and Sara aren’t real.
177, 178- I see.
“You’re driving, and there’s a ditch on one sid of the road, and oncoming trafic on the other side. Then suddenly a goat apears on the road!”
– My drivers ed teacher. I had to hold my mouth together with my hands to stop from cracking up for 10 minutes.
…You had to be there, I guess.
“I never thought that being obnoxious would get me where I am now.”
“Punk is always something that’s going to be with us and to try and explain that would be stupid at this point.”
“I sound like an Englishman impersonating an American impersonating an Englishman.”
“If school is practice for the future, and practice makes perfect, but no one’s perfect, then why practice?”
“No one’s really happy anyway. It’s not human.”
“Punk was the best education I’ve ever had.”
“So you’re like, ‘These guys are absolutely out of their minds.'”
“When someone is in a car accident and they’re driving at 100 mph, like that, whose record do you think he’s listening to at that time? Think about it.”
“There’s nothing wrong with being a loser, it just depends on how good you are at it.”
“(while shaking skull maracas) What the **** is that thing?”
“Throw mud at each other…see how many stupid things you can do to each other all at one time.”
–Billie Joe Armstrong, Green Day
“Hey, you know what? They can’t bleep this!”
“If you’re going to do something wrong, make sure you do it right.”
“I hope there’s lightning! I want to hold onto something metal!”
“All my religious beliefs are based on Star Wars. ”
“Now are any of these vegetables magic? I mean if I rub that bean on my foot will I run faster?”
–Mike Dirnt, Green Day
“You’d think we’re really good at writing songs or something….”
“I never completed high school and I’m very rich and very successful. ”
“I don’t understand what Billie just said, so, I’ll talk about chickens….”
“It’s best to sneer at reality.”
“I was walking my dog this morning, and I suddenly thought to myself, ‘I have a really weird job’.”
“I am a DRUMMER HEAR ME ROAR! I AM TRE COOL DON’T IGNORE!”
“What do I know about counting? I only have to count to four for my living.”
“You don’t see a lot of weird midget guitar players!”
“I told my dad yeah I’m going to be a drummer, and he said well if you can rub your stomach at the same time as you pat your head at the same time you’re standing on one leg and kicking the other one out in a circle and say the pledge of allegiance. And I did all that just like bam you know?”
–Tré Cool
“Not everyone who writes gets published, and not everyone who gets published can write.”
-My dad.
I am so tempted to put up some camp quotes. Unfortunately, most of these are the product of Silent Football, which is a game that is probably not familiar to most MBers and is difficult to explain over the internet. Let me just say that it has very little to do with actual football, and dividing the universe by zero causes all the inhabitants of the universe to have their organs torn apart.
Now, this is something I found on realcty. The quotes from games of silent football that I actually experienced are mostly innapropriate for museblog. This will probably not make sense, so ignore the first line or two if you must.
“You may not shrug a schrotum or schrotum a shrug. It’s the worst possible thing you could do. It’s dividing the universe by zero. It’s like… stepping on kittens. It’s like pouring milk on something that doesn’t… like… milk…”
That seems like an awful lot of introduction for one little quote.
There is a publishing book that has a quote at the beginning of every chapter. Here are a few.
Ideas are to literature what light is to painting.
–Paul Bourget
When you steal from one author, it’s plagiarism; if you steal from many, it’s research.
–Wilson Mizner
“Fool!” said my muse to me, “look in they heart, and write.”
–Sir Philip Sidney, Astrophel and Stella [1591]
I can’t write five words but that I change seven.
–Dorothy Parker
I can’t write five words but that I change seven–seven times.
–Me! (No this wasn’t in the book.)
Oh, that my words were now written! oh that they were printed in a book.
–Job 19:23
You may write for the joy of it. But the act of writing is not complete in itself. It has its end in its audience.
–Flannery O’Connor (Isn’t that a funny name?)
what book is that from?
185- The Writer’s Toolkit.
Homosexuality is gay.
– Mikey Way
“Life occurs in the intersection of conflicting opposites. Accept that life as we know it is fundamentally imperfect, and try to find solace in the permanence of its flux.”
– Someone on another website
“…”
– Helen Keller
184: Flannery O’Connor wrote really great short stories. But yes, it is a funny name.
(190, 184) Her full name was Mary Flannery O’Connor. Many Southern women, including several of my cousins, have family names as middle names and go by them instead of by their first names.
“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your equations.” The Hobbit
63- into non-being, which is to say everywhere.
“I think that you should be happy all the time. Then when your feeling sad, you can just be happy.”
My sister, earlier today. Me and my friend cracked up, because that is some twisted logic.
“Why don’t we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself? ”
– Someone’s sig. I am tempted to agree. Very tempted.
“I have heard the launguage of the apocalypse, and now I shall embrace the silence.”
– Neil Gaiman
“It’s not an Apocalypse, it’s an Adventure!”
– Guy at the Climate Convergence.
“Life’s a beach. Then you die.”
– Om, from Diskworld
“Remeber Kids, you can’t un-boil an egg-or an eyeball!”
– lab safety video we had to watch in science.
This thread needs saving.
-Me.
“Nothing eventually becomes everything, and everything becomes infinity.”
– The Infinite Adventures of Rodney Appleseed, in, Nothing Happens by someone whose name I don’t remember.
Alice: How sweet of you to quote me via Rodney Appleseed.
Ross Anthony
http://www.RossAnthony/books.com
www. AuthorIllustratorSpeaker.com
199-
I got the book for my birthday a couple of years ago. It’s good if a little hard to follow, and even better if I completely suspend all images of logic as I know it (e.g. not thinking “where’d this elevator come from?”).
It also has some lovely quotes. I like it.
(GAPAs- You can combine my posts if you like, since I posted before I realized I’d forgotten to say something.)
Always be nice to those younger than you, because they are the ones who will be writing about you.
—Cyril Connolly
When our actions and fears are said and done, we have only history to judge us.
—A poster for Save Darfur!
“You know you’re famous when crazy people believe they are you.” -Harry Houdini.
“Remember kids, say yessssssss to drawing and nooooooooo to drugs!”
~A guy on a 1980’s drawing TV show who had just
drewdrawn a cylinder in 3D[Excuse the edit, Beavo, the grammatical dissonance was simply too much for me. –Rebecca]
“Dead since 1993! You’ve been dead now… Oh wait, let me see… 14 years come this January!”
~ Hugh Laurie, “Mystery”
“Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you critisize them, you will be a mile away, and you will have their shoes.”
– I don’t remember
187 – Mikey quote!!!!!!
Ah, but it’s a weird one.
See, as Pete Wentz sayeth, “Gay is not a synonym for s***ty.”
I’m actually not a big fan of Pete, but then –
“I will eat them until I vomit sugar and unicorns.”
– he has some good quotes.
“Archeology is my passion, my reason for living!” -Zahi Hawass.
206- It was that dude, but i read the quote in Sisterhood of the Traveling pants, 1 or 3.
First paragraph of book: Describing how dark it is.
Last sentence of book: in the end, there was light.
-A really good book that I have now forgotten. I suppose it isn’t really a quotation, but it’s a neat metaphore.
“Be brave now, and don’t look back.” -Shmi Skywalker, The Phantom Menace
(206, 208) It sounds like something Jack Handey would say.
“Do now. Regret later.” -me
“You’ve taken your first steps into a larger world.” -Obi-Wan Kenobi
“To make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.” -Carl Sagan
“Fourty-two” ~ Take a wild guess. =P
213- Douglas Adams?
Too busy too read the rest, but here is the everlasting:
“Here’s a llama, there’s a llama, there’s another little llama”
“It’s a self destructing circle of death!”- my friend Ben, responding to some question about economic policies (we were in History at the time)
Okay. I have more time now.
“May the Force be with you.” (not sure if someone said that already)
“You were my brother, Anakin!” – Obi-Wan Kenobi
“Oh! Oh! Where are you going, you idiot? We were told to stay HERE! Here, I say!” – C-3PO
“Do or do not. There is no try.” – Yoda
“Tell your sister…. you were right” – Anakin’s dying words
“Urk!” – Only thing Darth Maul ever said
They’re ALL from Star Wars, you may notice.
“The name’s Bond. James Bond.”
~ Gee, I wonder who said that?
Double post, sorry.
“If there’s something wrong, those who have the ability to take action have the responsibility to take action.” -Ben Gates, National Treasure.
Everyone deserves a chance to fly – Wicked.
Those who claim to be wicked are seldom any worse than the rest of us, it’s those who claim to be good that we need to watch out for. (not sure if that’s accurate)
The proper name for buffalo is bison. – the internet
So does that mean that it’s now Bison, New York? – Me
“It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.‖ Jack Handey
“If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while you’re in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don’t know what to tell you.‖ Jack Handey
“Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you’ve never known before. But the ride always ends, and you end up feeling lonely and bitter. Wait. It’s not love I’m describing. I’m thinking of a monorail. “– Jack Handey
“Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: “Mankind.†Basically, it’s made up of two separate words-â€mank†and “ind.†What do these words mean? It’s a mystery, and that’s why so is mankind. ” — Jack Handey
“Silence is the key to laughter.” — my friend
Some of the funnier quotes in my life
“Great- I was wearing a carpet” – Bridget Jones
“Run into someones dream home and use their toilet” – this random ad i saw online
“these shoes are really cute… on a really ugly person” – me when i saw a pair of really ugly shoes
“Don’t worry about the world ending tomorrow, because where i am, it is tomorrow.”
“A watched pasta pot never bubbles” – my sister who was trying to say a watched pot never boils
“You know you’re a famous Museblogger when you’ve been quoted on the Quotations thread by someone other than yourself.”
184- Actually, Job 19:23 says – “Oh that my words were recorded, that they were written on a scroll”. As far as I know, when Job was writing, the printing press was far from being invented, and books a mere notion of the future.
“I hate being called emo. I mean, call us what you want. But I’d rather be called polka”-Jared Leto
“”I could b**** about certain political figures, I could talk about war, weapons and global warming, but it boils down to how people treat people. That’s the problem. People have evolved into something selfish, greedy and intolerant. People are unaccepting, because of religion, race, gender, sexual orientation? I’ve seen it in punk clubs and I’ve seen it in the world.” -Gerard Way
“This hostage stuff is fun!” -Alice Cullen
Those are some of my favorites. I have a lot.
“If Relationship George walks into this room, he will KILL Independent George! … A George divided against itself CANNOT stand!”
~ George Canstanza from Seinfeld
“‘Tis not to late to seek a newer world
To sail into the sunset”
-Lord Tennyson, Ulysses
” Live your beliefs and you can turn the world around.”
-Thoreau
I don’t need to be careful, I’ve got a gun
-Homer Simpson
“The best way to find out is to go there and, well, FIND OUT.” -Raven’s Cry
187—-I saw a Frank Iero quote that said “Homophobia is gay”. I think I’m with Frankie on that one.
“I’m feeling much better now”
-Monty Python
“Sanity is overrated”
-Unknown, but I heard it from a friend.
“OOH! I have an idea! Let’s play hide-and-seek!”
-Urgo (from one episode of Stargate SG-1)
“You think your job is hard? Try being a parent!”
-Billie Joe Armstrong
“This song isn’t ant-american, it’s ant-war!”
-BJA (introducing Holiday)
Eric Yorkie: “So, this is a lot different than Phoenix, huh?” he asked.
Bella Swan: “Very.”
Eric Yorkie: “It doesn’t rain much there, does it?”
Bella Swan: “Three or four times a year.”
Eric Yorkie: “Wow, what must that be like?” he wondered.
Bella Swan: “Sunny,” I told him.
Eric Yorkie: “You don’t look very tan.”
Bella Swan: “My mother is part albino.”
He studied my face apprehensively, and I sighed. It looked like clouds and a sense of humor didn’t mix. A few months of this and I’d forget how to use sarcasm.
—-Twilight
“I’m an extremist, I have to deal with my own extreme personality, and I walk the fine line of wanting to die and wanting to be the ruler of it all.”
–Davey Havok
“Smoking kills. If you are killed, you have lost a very important part of your life.”
~ Brooke Shields
In defense of Brooke Shields, I should point out that when she said that, she had just turned 16. It was at a Congressional hearing about cigarette smoking (tobaccodocuments.org/pm/2026258663-8665.html). How many 16-year-olds can be sure they would sound super-intelligent under the same conditions?
And technically, you know, she’s right: Being killed doesn’t deprive you of your whole life, just the part you haven’t lived yet. She made the remark after talking about her grandfather, who had died of a tobacco-related illness — presumably after having lived a fair number of decades already.
So — dumb remark, yes, but with extenuating circumstances attached.
“It’s not where you start, it’s where you finish!”
~the quote on the back of my shirt (from an XC race)
“Violence is not with your nose!”
-a friend
“I think it’s okay to cry in movies”
-Gerard Way.
I posted this because it was right after he detailed how sad the Bridge To Terabithia movie was and it was sweet. And I cry a lot in movies.
“ID? We don’t need no stinkin’ ID! I don’t have to study any stinkin’ ID in school!” -Me, in an Evolution thread on another site.
“Swim….like the WIND!”
“When you talk in chatspeak, your personality goes POOFEH!”
-Me
“We consider that the man who can fiddle all through one of those Virginia Reels without losing his grip, may be depended upon in any kind of emergency.” ~ Mark Twain
“Endurance runners’ sport is other athlete’s punnishment.” -My coach.
Janis: Gretchen Wieners knows everybody’s business, she knows everything about everyone.
Damian: That’s why her hair is so big, it’s full of secrets. – Mean Girls
Karen: Well… I’m kinda psychic. I have a fifth sense.
Cady: What do you mean?
Karen: It’s like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it’s going to rain.
Cady: Really? That’s amazing.
Karen: Well… they can tell when it’s raining. – Mean Girls
Karen: You know who’s looking fine tonight? Seth Mosakowski.
Gretchen: Okay, you did not just say that.
Karen: What? He’s a good kisser.
Gretchen: He’s your cousin.
Karen: Yeah, but he’s my first cousin.
Gretchen: Right.
Karen: So, you have your cousins, and then you have your first cousins, and then you have your second cousins…
Gretchen: No, honey, uh-uh.
Karen: That’s not right, is it?
Gretchen: That is so not right. -Mean Girls
Homeschooled Boy: And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals. – Mean Girls
“that sucks but still your hott thats probly where the sun burn came from the sun was so jealous that you were hotter then it so it burned you ahahaha.” – my friend jenna when we were talking about my sunburn
“Poo-tee-weet?â€
-Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughter-house 5
“Death. So it goes.â€
-Kurt Vonnegut, sh-5
“Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.â€
Hebrews 11:1
“fear the coefficients!â€
-me
“napoleanic fighting: lining up and yelling ‘fire!’â€
-me
“Apparently the semester exam isn’t peppermint-worthyâ€
-Mrs. Pulliam (my alg2 teacher about how the principal at our school gave us peppermints for brain-power (?) during standardized tests but not during exams)
“I wonder what my clone would be like.â€
-me
“It’s like the potato famine!â€
-Brooke (about a nasty-tasting French fry…)
“It’s edible confetitti!â€
-me (about candy corn)(and yes I did not say confetti, but confettiti.)
Brooke: “pi is gay.â€
Me: “what?!!â€
Brooke: “Well, it’s not straight, is it?â€
Me: *headdesk*
(this makes no sense, but it’s hilarious. or maybe you just had to be there.)
“A tissue for your issues?â€
-me, spoken to no one in particular
“If you believe, you will achieve. If you don’t believe, I’ll punch you in the face” – my robotics coach
“You know, the more advanced a class is the less you get done in it.” – a Science Bowl team member
“Yeah…” – the other cast Olivia in Twelfth Night forgetting the precise wording of the line. (The line was in fact “Ha!”)
“‘Money is the world’s curse!’
‘The world’s curse? Then may the Lord smite me with it, and may I never recover!'”
-Fiddler on the Roof.
243- That second one is so true. In Honors we talk a lot. (But I still get work done.)
Aren’t a little short for a storntrooper?
-Princess Leia
You can’t have your cake and eat it too, but you can have your cake and eat someone else’s.
All of life’s problems can be solved by letting a bear eat them.
On the streets of China…
*as many people as possible packed into elevator*
*someone pushes all the buttons*
*stops on floor, door opens*
*Chinese people stare*
Person: Geez, it’s like they’ve never seen a bunch of Americans in an elevator before!
Me: Hey, I still need to get my dad a present.
Jesse: You should get him a dragon!
Me: I don’t think they sell those here…
Jesse: Well get him a snake then!
Me: I won’t be able to go home. You can’t take Snakes on a Plane!
And that was the main event that made my first name Unintended Pun. There were a lot of them on that trip, but that’s the most memorable.
“I have nature in my socks!” -a friend with ivy/plants in her shoes
And now for the Avenged Sevenfold quotes. Bwaha.
Interviewer: A stranger comes up to you and asks you to describe Avenged Sevenfold’s music. What would you tell them?
Zacky Vengeance: I dont talk to strangers.
The Rev: I just want to get brutally murdered by my ex-girlfriend. I won’t want music at my funeral. Music will be the reason for my death so I will be bitter towards it at that point.
M. Shadows: You should throw a party for all of your friends though.
The Rev: Good point. Yeah, I’ll throw a party. You could make a life-sized dummy of me and stick it in the corner as if I’m at the party. How cool would that be?!
After this I get to change into my rocker clothes. My true self. Not evil Zacky, but SUPER evil Zacky. – Zacky Vengeance
Gah, I can’t fit anymore in this comment box right now..
“Ford, you’re turning into a penguin! Stop it!” – Arthur Dent
“It’s irritatingly stupid, and I don’t like it.” – My mom
*friend with glasses watches me open my locker* “I’ve been watching you open this locker for almost two semesters, and I still don’t know your combo!”
“Why not?” *opens locker*
“All those little numbers confuse me.”
*forgetting friend has glasses* “You need glasses.”
*looks at me with a “duh!” sort of expression* “I have glasses.”
*falls over laughing
“Is there such thing as an unsinkable ship?”
“Sure, one that’s already sunk.”
-Robert Ballard
“Of to Mars, let’s go, let’s go!” – Britney Smith
“Ground Control to Major Tom-
Everyone hates you, even your mom,”
-my brother.
Dr. Horrible:
So that’s you know… coming along. I’m working with a vocal coach. Strengthening the “ahhaaâ€. A lot of guys ignore the laugh and that’s about standards. I mean, if you’re going to get into the Evil League of Evil you HAVE to have a memorable laugh. I mean do you think Bad Horse didn’t work on his whinny? His terrible… Death… whinny.
This is the one. Stops time. Freeze-ray. Tell your friends.
Captain Hammer, Corporate TOOL. He dislocated my shoulder… Again… last week.
I’m texting. It’s very important or I would stop. What are you doing?
No, I am. But they’re a symptom. You’re treating a symptom and the disease rages on, consumes the human race. The fish rots from the head as they say. So my thinking is why not cut off the head
What a random happenstance.
You’re driving a spork into your leg.
RIGHT. Freeze-Ray. SO as of tonight I am in the Evil League of Evil if all goes according to plan; which it WILL because I hold a P.H.D in Horribleness. See you at the aftermath. PEACE!
Captain Hammer threw a car at my head.
OH! Goodness. Look at my wrist. I gotta go.
Its curtains for you Dr. Horrible. Lacy, gently wafting curtains.
Dr. Horrible:
Awww! Ahhhhh! I’m in pain! I think this is what pain feels like! Oh mommy! Someone maternal! Get outta my way! I gotta get out! ~ Captain Hammer
“The Saturn V was not designed to cook a turkey.” – Thanksgiving with the Kranzes
This is a conversation my classmates and I had in english class. We were asked to define ‘happiness’.:
K: ”Happiness is that prickly feeling that bites at your toes.”
Z: ”like a pair of woolen socks?”
S: ”I thought ‘happiness was a smoking gun’?”
Me: ”I think K’s definition applies to frostbite, not happiness.”
Z: ”How would you know? For you, happiness is a warm veggie burger. ”
Ridiculous, isn’t it?
“I Googled it, but it bit me.” -My dad
“Sing, Muse. Sing for Mars. Sing for the heroes yet to be, for the history yet to be made, for the world yet to be born. Sing.” -Robert Zubrin
“A child is born, or soon adorned, with massive lust for learning.
A life of free discovery keeps neural embers burning.
This fervor fuels itself till schools attempt to standardize it
And nurse that thrill of learning till they thoroughly despise it.” Jef Mallett
“Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and a dark side, and it holds the world together.”
“When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.”
“Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils …”- Louis Hector Berlioz
“The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.” – Robert Bloch
“Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.”
“When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car.”
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” – Homer Simpson
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.” – Douglas Adams
Ok, I think I should stop now…
These are ALL from Seinfeld. Brace yourselves.
“It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.” ~Jerry Seinfeld
“I will never understand why they cook on TV. I can’t smell it; can’t eat it; can’t taste it. The end of the show they hold it up to the camera, ‘Well, here it is. You can’t have any. Thanks for watching. Goodbye.'” ~Jerry Seinfeld
“My God, what is this salty discharge? Is this crying? This is terrible — I care!” ~Jerry Seinfeld
“According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two! Does that sound right? This means that the average person at a funeral would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.” ~Jerry Seinfeld
“If I had a son, I would name him Isosceles — Isosceles Kramer.” ~Cosmo Kramer
[seeing George on the floor with his pants at his ankles] “And you wanna be my latex salesman?” ~Jerry Seinfeld
Wow, I didn’t know we even had this thread! Sweet!
“Failing to fetch me at first, keep encouraged,
Missing me one place, search another,
I stop somewhere, waiting for you.”
–Walt Whitman
“Running cross-country is the closest man will ever get to flying.”
–Joseph VanderStel
“Come, gentle night, come, loving, black-brow’d night,
Give me my Romeo; and, when he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night.”
–Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act III Scene 2
“A man with one watch always knows what time it is – a man with two is never quite sure.”
I can’t remember what that’s from, and I can’t think of any other quotes right now.
“You have to get old eventually, but you can stay immature forever!”
That’s my favorite quote, but I don’t know where I found it.
This is a song… called “The Kill.” But don’t be scared, it’s a nice song. About losing your mind.
-Jared Leto.
Hold on, I forgot about these. Davey Havok said all of them. Be afraid.
-I was once told I was a powerful wizard by a homeless person.
-Fritch tells me matches aren’t vegetarian. I never knew. I liked matches.
-Some nice young lady got me fuzzy socks. How I love the socks and their fuzziness. A thank you for my bday present to the girl I did not meet.
-The people who send us fan mail written in blood say the nicest things, so it doesn’t freak us out too much.
-Yes I’m a lot prettier than you and you’re a girl…I noticed. Pfft, do you believe this? This girl is mad at me cause I’m prettier than her and she’s a girl. Don’t worry honey, nobody noticed.
-Random: Why are you guys so awesome? Davey: Fuzzy creatures.
-Interviewer: I read something somewhere about ‘the monster’. Davey, I wanted you maybe to explain something about the monster that came out. I was just wondering if you could share that with our viewers. Davey: I don’t know what the monster is. There is a monster. [Adam is giggling in the background] It happens in the studio, sometimes it happens on stage, [Adam can’t control his giggling] and it’s in my neck. Interviewer: It’s in your neck. Show that. Davey: [points] Right about here. Sometimes it happens when I’m just talking, like I’d be talking to you and the monster bites me. Interviewer: Alright. Davey: It hurts. Adam: He could just be standing there and all of a sudden just DROP [‘dropping’ arm motion] and be on the floor. Davey: Because of the monster. Interviewer: Man. Due to the monster? Jade: People probably think we’re a weird band because of this. People listening to this are probably thinking we’re just weird. Davey: Yeah I mean, this is not an attempt to be whack.
“Tho’ much is taken, much abides; and tho’
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are,–
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.”
–Tennyson, Ulysses
DEAD THREAD.
“Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands? And the rest of you, if you’ll just rattle your jewelry.”
– John Lennon, 1963, at the high point of the group’s set during the Royal Variety Performance before members of the British Royal Family.
“We ice skate.”
– George Harrison, 1964, when asked by a reporter “What do you do when you’re cooped up in a hotel room between shows?”
“You.”
– John Lennon, 1964, when asked by a reporter “What have you seen that you like best about our country?”
“I don’t know, it must be the weather.”
– John Lennon, 1964, when asked by a reporter “Why do you think you’re so popular all of a sudden?”
“So this is America. They must be out of their minds.”
Ringo Starr, circa 1964, arriving in America for the first time.
“I call it Arthur”
George Harrison, 1964, when asked what the Beatles called their haircuts.
Pwnsome Beatles quotes.
“Bobby, if you don’t tell me how to fix this problem, I’m going to land this shuttle in Houston on your head!”
– My Space Camp teammates getting angry.
In French class (for an assignment, so all dialogue in french)
Me: Are you hungry?
My Friend: No.
Me: …Do you want to go to a French restaurant?
My Friend: Sure, but I’m not hungry.
Me: >.< What do you feel like eating?
My Friend: COOKIES!
Me: At a French restaurant!??
My biology textbook: Obviously, neither bacteria nor elephants cover the planet.
“Out of all the things I’ve lost, it’s my mind I miss the most.”
Mark Twain
“Only time can heal the broken heart, as only time can heal his broken bones.”
Miss Piggy.
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and sometimes it is necessary to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
Miss Piggy
268 – Hahaha, I love those!
269 – *snigger* *sniggersnigger*
270 – Hey, MY Biology textbook said that too! It was talking about exponential growth or something…
271 – Very wise.
My sister: So, I’ve got this really cool joke! What did one mummy say to the other?
Me: I want my mummy?
My sister: No, I’ve got issues with tissues!
Me: *looks blank* What the heck???
My sister: *cracks up*
270/272- So does my AP Environmental textbook!
“There are only two colors to paint a boat, black or white, and only a fool would paint a boat black.” -Nathanael G. Herreshoff
272 – Ahh! Prentice Hall bio textbook with the big purple dragonfly thing on the cover?
273 – Strange stuff.
But still, flamablamablous!
274 – Yes, that’s the one! How peculiar – well, I suppose not really. It’s a big publisher.
275 – Haha, how cool! I have a test on Chapter 7 tomorrow. What chapter are you on?
That was my bio textbook too. The Environmental book I suggest everyone uses is Miller, because it is great. Not the skinny one, the full polarbear Miller.
“How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?” –Woody Allen
“Here’s to our wives and girlfriends–may they never meet!”
–Groucho Marx
“Well, that covers a lot of ground. Say, you cover a lot of ground yourself. You better beat it – I hear they’re going to tear you down and put up an office building where you’re standing. You can leave in a taxi. If you can’t get a taxi, you can leave in a huff. If that’s too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff. You know you haven’t stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.”–Groucho Marx, to Margaret Dumont, Duck Soup
“The delivery boy was sixty-two years old, and there was no such person as Barney Northrup.” -“The Westing Game” by Ellen Raskin “Her parents were circus acrobats. Her parents were witches. Her parents were brain-dead vegetables in a hospital in Yuma.” -“Stargirl” by Jerry Spinelli “There it sat, unnoticed, year after year, until its time arrived, and the lock quietly clicked open.” -“The City of Ember” by Jeanne DuPrau “Rhonda? Is it really you?””I hope so. Otherwise someone’s played a very clever trick on me.” -“The Mysterious Benedict Society” by Trenton Lee Stewart “Huzzah, huzzah.” -“Walk Two Moons” by Sharon Creech. “Look, look, Mother! There’s a flower flying.” -“Bambi” by Felix Salten
Ok, that was weird. Sorry for the lack of sense in my above post.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull:
“Fiensburg. There was twice as many.” “We were younger.” “I still am young!” “We had guns. Put your hands down, will you? You’re embarrassing us.” “Bet you 500 bucks we can get out of this.” *guy steps up* “Eh, let’s call it 100.”
“Don’t get clever, Boris. You don’t know him- KNOW HIM! KNOW HIM! YOU DON’T KNOW HIM! YOU DON’T KNOW HIM! YOU DON’T KNOW HIM! YOU DON’T KNOW…” *crash*
“Hit this guy.” “Who?” “Joe College. Hit him hard.”
“If you want to be a good archaeologist, you gotta get out of the library!”
“You’re a- a teacher?” “Part time.”
“One of the scorpions just stung me! Am I gonna die?” “How big was it?” “Huge!” “Good.”
“He’s your son.” “…why the **** didn’t you make him finish school??”
These pills have finally conquered my attention deficit dis-Hey look, a squirrel!
A classic.
Creepy Cantina Guy in Episode Two: Hey, you wanna buy some death sticks?
Obi Wan: (force persuade): You don’t want to sell me deathsticks.
CCGIE2: I don’t want to sell you deathsticks.
Obi Wan: (force persuade): You want to go home and rethink your life.
CCGIE2: I want to go home and rethink my life.
Some of my favorite quotes of Edna Mode’s from The Incredibles :
“I don’t like to talk about the past, Darling, it distracts from the NOW.” -Edna Mode, The Incredibles
“Talk! There is too much of it, Darling, too much!”-Edna Mode, The Incredibles
“No capes!” (Proceeds to detail disasters that befell superheroes who wore capes.) -Edna Mode, The Incredibles
“Super models! Humph! There is nothing super about them! Nothing but tiny stick figures with puffy lips.”-Edna Mode, The Incredibles
Conversation between Edna Mode and Helen Parr (Elastagirl), The Incredibles
Edna: The baby’s suit can withstand temperatures up to one thousand degrees, is completely bullet-proof, and is machine washable, Darling, that’s a new feature.
Helen (Elastagirl): (Horrified) What on earth do you think the baby will be doing?
Edna: Well, I’m sure I don’t know, Darling. What powers does he have?
Helen (Elastagirl): Jack-Jack doesn’t have any powers.
Edna: He doesn’t? Oh, well, he’ll still look fabulous anyway.
No.
-Last word of Alexander Graham Bell, after his wife said, “Please don’t leave me!”
Fijians are not lovers of human flesh.
-Last words of Christian missionary Thomas Baker, before being eaten by cannibalistic Fijians
I’m sorry for the mistake, but this is the first time I’ve been beheaded.
-Last words of Alexander Blackwell, told by his executioner that he was facing the wrong way
Do I have a morbid sense of humor? Oh yes I do.
Sorry for the double post, I have some more funny quotes.
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
-Homer Simpson
Row arrrgh gently boat ouch gently doon boat boat boat tiddly boatly merrily boat arrrgh – CRIVENS!
-WIntersmith (the Feegles trying to sing “Row, Row, Row Your Boat”)
A Minneapolis company has come out with a credit card size shotgun that fits in your wallet. The inventor says he invented it to give people a sense of security. Oh yeah, what makes you feel more secure than sitting on a shotgun? Now how does this work? What’s the first thing a thief steals? Your wallet, oh, now he’s got your gun too!
-Jay Leno
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
-Unknown
“So what’s the speed of dark?”
-Unknown.
“Why does everything I care for die?”
-Unknown.
“Expect the unexpected. And when the unexpected comes, do NOT curl up in a ball and hide in a corner!”
-Myself
I hope this will resuscitate the thread: who can guess the source of any of these quotes?
“Nice to meet you, Rose. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!”
“‘Please relax,’ said the voice pleasantly, like a stewardess in an airliner with only one wing and two engines, one of which is on fire. ‘You are perfectly safe.'”
“He came onto our territory to kill Firestar! What did you think
we’d do? Take him to our camp and let him have first pick of the fresh-kill pile?”
“No, mademoiselle, I would not like to see the children’s menu. I have no doubt that the children’s menu itself tastes better than the meals on it. I would like to order a la carte. Or don’t you serve fish to minors?”
Um… Was the firs quote of 288 on ‘welcome, Neophytes?’
289 – No, none of the quotes are from threads. Hint: that one is from a TV show.
SoCal Kokon quotes!
“It’s not that flavor of green!”
-Zinc, when we saw a guy’s green shirt not show up against a green screen on a camera, and were wondering if Hibiscus’ lighter green shirt would show up
“I’d like to do that to Mr. Joe. Minus the eating part.”
-Me, at a demonstration in which a marshmallow swelled up and melted in a microwave, and then we all got to eat some
“If you’re down and looking for some cheering up, then just head right down to the Candy Mountain Cave…”
-Me, at a gingerbread house display
“MUSEBLOG”
-What we wrote on the pin wall at the museum
288- Doctor Who season one of new who the episode ‘Rose”
291: Haha, I remember saying that! And after that, I said this, or something.
Me: It’s not that flavor of green.
Others: *crack up*
Me: Oh, I do that all the time. Once I said to Juliana- that’s Alfalfa- after I tripped and made a hole in the knee of my jeans, “I broke my pants.”
That wasn’t completely accurate, but oh well. And yes, I have said “I broke my pants.”
292 – Yep. After watching that episode, I am now suspicious of mannequins. And Ferris wheels.
288- Is the last one from any of the Artemis Fowl books?
(also ♥ Doktah!)
“The beautyocracy has actually managed to convince women that, despite the fact that we are not bio-luminant plankton, it is natural for our epidermis to phosphoresce.”
-Twisty Faster on ‘glowing skin’
“A snarky woman who is underestimated by her peers falls for a snarky bastard from the upper classes who finds himself inexplicably drawn to her inner strength. There may be some comic relief and social commentary on the issues of the day as well.”
-Graeme McMillan on Jane Austen novels
“Every great scientific truth goes through three stages. First, people say it conflicts with the Bible. Next, they say it had been discovered before. Lastly, they say they always believed it.”
-George Agostinho da Silva in Science Week, January 9, 1998
Donna: “It’s weird, being with you, I can’t tell what’s right and what’s wrong anymore.”
Doctor: “It’s better that way.”
-Doctor Who (2005)-Planet of the Ood
SFDP, didn’t notice the need for snippage in the Jane Austen quote… I was just copypasting from an OOo document.
Well, here’s another:
“Physicist Bus Advert: If there is a god, then there’s an antigod, we should smash god into god and see what happens.”
-Welcome To The Future comic
“Who’s going to take us seriously if we don’t have a laser pointer?” -House
“There are two things that can really smash up your model rocket when it comes down- water and concrete. Mine hit both.” -Gemini from the Bad Astronomy forum.
“William, have you come because you need my help to save a certain distressing damsel? Or, rather, damsel in distress? Either one.” “No.” “Well then, you wouldn’t be here, would you? So you can’t be here. QED, you’re not really here!”
-POTC: At World’s End
288- Well, one of them is obviously from Warriors, probably the 2nd generation.
I googled it, but it bit me- the father of someone on the museblog that I am too lazy (and haven’t the slightest idea what thread it was on in the first place.)
299 – It’s from the play “After Sunset: We Need To Talk”, which takes place after New Prophecy. This one remains unguessed:
“‘Please relax,’ said the voice pleasantly, like a stewardess in an airliner with only one wing and two engines, one of which is on fire. ‘You are perfectly safe.’â€
301–Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (either that or Restaurant at the End of the Universe).
“What can you make of this map?”
“This? Why, I can make a hat, I can make a broach, I can make a pterodactyl…”
Whoever knows where that quote comes from, you are majorly cool. (Hint: it’s from pretty much the funniest movie ever made).
Airplane? I am guessing here…
288 – The last one is from Artemis Fowl, the third one I think?
301 – That one’s not from H2G2, probably Restaurant at the End of the Universe (though I’ve never read it, NtL already guessed H2G2 and that’s not it).
288- Yes, definitely Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code.
“We took turns shoving cake in each other’s faces;
Edward manfully swallowed his portion as I watched in disbelief.”
This sentence made me laugh harder than I have in quite a while; I am literally tearing up. It’s in Breaking Dawn, which is hilariously awful.
306-?????????????????? That has just provided me with another reason why I will not read the Twilight series.
Always forgive your enemies – Nothing annoys them so much.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
When I’m not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.
You know the speed of light, so what’s the speed of dark?
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.
I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.(Friend or Money !)
Death is hereditary.
There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.
An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
When you’re right, no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no one forgets.
Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
If you can’t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
Where there’s a will, there are five hundred relatives.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Ever wonder why you never see the headline “Psychic Wins Lottery”?
*Teacher opens door to stage*
Teacher: “Wow, I didn’t think my key would work here.
Me: Is that a skeleton?
Teacher: Ahhh! Where!
Me: No, the KEY, the KEY!
Where are these two quotes from?
“On pure speculation, just an educated guess, I’d say that man is alive.”
“I didn’t want to, Jim.”
311- Star Trek?
312 – Could you be a bit more specific?
313- Star Trek: The Original Series?
314 – That’s still not too specific.
SFTDP
“Join the club, we’ve got jackets.”
“The present is the dream of the past.” -Me.
“That’s an ACTUAL photo of ACTUAL teddy bears in ACTUAL space.” -Some lady on a podcast.
I like the pajamas. Very Arthur Dent. Now, there was a nice man.
-Doctor Who
From the day they arrive on the planet and, blinking, step into the sun, there is more to see than can ever be seen, more to do than … no, wait, that’s The Lion King.
-Doctor Who
What a crazy random happenstance.
-Some online video, I forget what it was called but it was really funny
Wow, sarcasm! That’s original!
-Same video
I hate the homeless … ness problem.
-Same video
“Captain Hook rocks,” said Pex. “He would kick Barney’s purple butt ten times out of ten.” Chips sighed. “You’re missing the whole point of Barney. It’s a values thing. Butt-kicking is not the issue.”
-Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code
“That’s like in that horror movie. Y’know, the one with all the horror.”
“I think I saw that one. With all the words going up the screen at the end?”
“Yeah, that was it. Tell you the truth, those words kinda ruined it for me.”
-Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code
Zombie Ned Flanders: I’m feeling a mite peckish. Mind if I nibble on your ear?
Homer: *shoots*
Someone (can’t remember who): You killed the zombie Ned Flanders!
Homer: He was a zombie?
-The Simpsons
New thread? Possibly? Since this is from ’07?
(319) Rainbowstar: Your “some online video” was “Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog,” which was indeed very funny.