Prarilius Canix has been quietly laboring on a story thread that began almost a year ago. The current story began in April, inspired by Robert’s Muse/Harry Potter Fanfic (which can be found here and here). PC describes his tale as “the Muses wreaking havoc in the world of Eragon.”
Alice has also started a story “of how the Muses made a time machine, went back in time, and found the lost tenth Muse of literature.”
Please note: these are not RRRs but solo projects which share the same thread. Start your own or just stop by and visit. Writing doesn’t have to be a lonely business, at least not on MuseBlog.
Hi. Thank you, Rebecca. I just want to clarify something. Your thread description makes it seem as though I began my Muse Fanfiction almost a year ago, whereas it really began in April. The previous thread began almost a year ago.
To my fellow MBers: I have the rest of the story vaguely plotted out, so I think I’ll complete it solo. However, that shouldn’t stop the rest of you from doing Muse fanfictions if you want to. I’d like to read something other than my own work for a change.
A new thread! Just in time for me to start my fanfic.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Done!” proclaimed Chad, looking proudly up at the huge and complicated contraption. “Now all we have to do is insert Aeiou’s software here-” he pulled on a tiny knob, and a hidden drawer slid out, only about the size of a floppy disk”- and then we’ll have-” But what they would have, apparently, was a key lime pie.
Kokopelli snickered. He had discovered that the contraption was perfect for dropping pies onto the heads of any Muses below. In this case, Chad and Aeiou.
(1) My mistake. I should have said the thread started almost a year ago.
((My fanfiction starts on the previous thread. Inspired by Robert’s attempt to mingle Muses and magic, this story has the Muses wreaking havoc in the world of Eragon. Entertaining for Eragon lovers and loathers alike, it involves Kokopelli stealing Saphira’s egg, Bo befriending Brom, and possibly a conversation between Angela and Feather.))
Brom poured three drops of liquid into the saucer, then muttered something incomprehensible. His face abruptly grew three shades paler. At first Bo thought that it was simply the strain of working magic. Then, as she peered into the saucer, she realized it was much more than that.
Against the unnaturally black backdrop of the liquid, a heap of iridescent blue shards could be discerned. The egg had hatched, and Kokopelli had become a Dragon Rider.
Oh my god! That is so hilarious there are no words to describe it! Kokopelli as a Dragon Rider…
*breaks down in alternate laughter and tears*
I’m thinking of having him name his dragon Turquoisa. Living in the American Southwest, Koko would be more familiar with turquoise than sapphire (presumably the inspiration for Saphira.) I’m glad you like it so much, Alice.
Continued from #2, this is the story of how the Muses made a time machine, went back in time, and found the lost tenth Muse of literature.
~~~~~~
Chad looked up. “Kokopelli, if you don’t stop that we’ll leave you behind on-” But suddenly he was covered in pie again. It was blueberry, which nicely complimented the lime. It did not compliment his mood, however.
Then Crraw spoke up from a nearby bush. “Aeiou says that the time machine is ready for the test drive.”
re: Alice: I am intrigued. WRITE MOAR SOON.
re: PC: -Eragon loather here- -mad giggles- -more mad giggles-
Alice: me likes.
PC: AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *loves*
“Are you coming, Kokopelli, or will you continue to sit up there dropping pies on our heads?” asked Chad.
“I’m coming,” Kokopelli replied. “Just think of all the tricks I can play on people! They won’t know what hit ’em!”
“Now that’s not very nice,” said Mimi, coming over to look at the contraption.
“Why would anyone want to be nice?” asked Kokopelli, genuinely stumped. “Nice is boring.” And he launched a banana-cream pie at Urania.
Note- The Muse of Literature is also the Muse of Proof-Reading.
Chapter Four
Despite the fact that one of the Muses was in a tiny mountain village, and the other eight were in the middle of the largest desert in the world, they still managed to hold a council of war. Bo and Brom watched and communicated through Bo’s Intelligent Air transmitter. The rest of them sat in a rough circle, with Mergatroid coiled protectively around them.
“Here’s the situation,” Urania, who was presiding, said. “Kokopelli has become a Rider. We must assume he has joined Galbatorix. Therefore, to have any chance, we must steal another dragon egg. But some of us will have to go to the Varden to reinforce them in the meantime. Chad, are you able to build some sort of vehicle?”
Chad looked around. Sand, sand and more sand.
“Sure,” he replied. “If you don’t mind it being made from glass.”
“If it can get you to the Varden, I don’t care if it’s made out of tissue paper.”
“Actually,” Brom said, “it would be best if you could meet us in Teirm. There is an associate of the Varden there who I believe could aid us. Her name is Angela.”
“Teirm it is,” Urania agreed. “Feather, will you go with Chad?”
There was no reply.
“Feather??”
The Muse of Plants looked up from the cactus he was studying. “Sure. I can probably use my Muse Powers to bring up some oil or coal to power Chad’s invention. After all, it’s just decomposed and compressed plant matter.”
“Good,” Urania said. The chosen Muses filed onto the back of Mergatroid. Chad and Feather waved to them as they took off.
I’m probably going to take a break from writing on my story for a while. I’ll read other Muse fanfics for inspiration.
Nobody else is posting, so I’ll continue mine.
Chad pulled various metallic pipes from his wronket and began assembling them into a complex machine. His thoughts were in turmoil. Muses were supposed to help people, not enter their books and wreak havoc! Thanks to Kokopelli, the story was now irretrievably changed, and it was all the other Muses could do to make sure that it even had a happy ending. The good news was that all cliches had been firmly and utterly swept away. Chad tried to distract himself by concentrating on the thermal converter. Let’s see… the transmuter goes here… no, that won’t connect with the ionic cycle… maybe here… no. Wait, if I put it here instead and add a couple of coolant circuits to combat the overheating… Yes, that’ll work. Done!
There’s a link that doesn’t work in my previous post. >>>>>>”>This is where it should go.
Hahaha, that’s great! I just read the other thread. Great idea, PC! Makes it much more interesting.
You’re right. It isn’t cliched anymore. But now it has to be called “Kokopelli” instead of “Eragon”.
Yeah. You know how, on the posters for the Eragon movie, they have “eragon” written in swirly script in all lowercase letters? I’m envisioning “kokopelli” written the same way.
With a loud hissing noise, a small bubble of molten glass appeared at the top of one of the pipes. It grew larger and larger, until it was a perfect sphere about twenty feet in diameter. Metal bands tightened around it, shaping it gently into an oblong speckled with bubblelike pods. Finally, as it hardened to the consistency of caramel, a motorized knife cut doors and other apertures out with millimeter precision.
Feather was about fifteen feet away, his hands sunk deep into the dry soil. He extended his mind outward into a sphere of consciousness that encompassed all growing things. He was swamped by long-forgotten traces, left on the grains of sand by roots of grass that had been dead for milennia. Shuffling through the ghostly wisps of vanished vegetable thoughts, he finally came upon something so rich, varied and complex that sensing it was like eating the contents of an entire bakery after three years of consuming stale bread. It was an entire primeval forest compressed into a tiny space, crushed and changed over the years into something completely different.
Feather opened his eyes. “I’ve found coal.”
((Idea! King Orrin of Surda converses with Chad.))
19- (idea) Mmm, yah. Or we could have Murtagh join forces w/ the Muses. I haven’t read Eldest yet, so, yeah. OOOH!!!
Whatshisname, leader of the Varden, could befriend Crraw!
20- Ajihad? What do he and Crraw have in common? I like the Murtagh idea, tho. Especially since
SPOILER.FOR.ELDEST.AT.THE.END.OF.THIS.LINE..SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRR….he’s.the.rightful.Rider.of.one.of.the.two.remaining.eggs.
Yeah. I like it too. Do it!
Finally everyone was in the time machine, albeit rather sticky, and Chad set the dial to 1900. “Ready, everyone?” And he pulled the lever.
There was a wooshing, whirring sound, and a bright flash and then they both stopped.
21- Dunno. Just thought it would be kewl.
Right. Inspired by other fan fiction (PC- Ha hee hee! So funny!), I’m starting my own. I think I’m going to try dropping the muses and some HPBs into The Princess Bride… this could be interesting.
Starting from where the man in black is climbing the cliff, and Inigo Montoya (Sp? I just know the names – or how they sound!) is waiting to kill him:
Kokopelli sat in his desert den, quietly murmering to a small blob with knobs that seemingly hovered in the air in front of him – his intelligent air terminal. Smiling, he whispered something, and his quinkle* opened up in front of him. He pushed a pie in. It was strawberry and lemon, his latest combination.
“Ha Ha!” he giggled slyly. “Another story to mess up. No – another story to MEifiy!”
“Kokopelli! What on earth are you doing? Let me see that terminal. And what did you put in your quinkle?” From behind him came an indignant voice. Quickly, he spun around, hiding the terminal behind his back.
“Urainia! How did you get here? This is meant to be a secret! Why…. Oh, who cares. I have better ways then talking to get rid of you.”
SPLAT!
By the time Urainia had rubbed away enough of the edible glue from her face, Kokopelli was gone. She was standing in the middle of Kokonino country, and there was no den in site.
Yes, the story does get into this somehow – this is just kind of the prolouge. Got to go!
Brilliant! I think the Muses are a natural for The Princess Bride.
What next? Pride and Prejudice?
Hmm, I feel left out. : ( Well, they are going to 1900… E. Nesbit, maybe?
Have to think about that. I think it wouldn’t work.
25- You spelled his name right. You really should read The Princess Bride. It’s even better than the movie.
I printed out PC’s story and showed it to my friend Julia, who is the only person I know who reads both Muse and Eragon, and she LOVED it!
What is a quinkle? I assume it’s similar to a wronket.
here you go-
Kokopelli was coming! The animals of Redwall cowered in fear. Their writer, Brian Jacques, didn’t know what to do, so he called the editors of Muse and said, “You know, I think it would be a good idea to replace Kokopelli with a character named Cluny.” Muse grudgingly agreed. Kokoppelli mopes about it to this day.
not exactly the best story on here, but hey, it still gives you an explanation for the cluny character.
oh, and for #4, prarilius canix, BO IS NOT A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!
Mergatroid ascended at speed, his long, flexible antennae sending out puffs of brimstone. The Muses on his back were nearly flattened by the wind.
“Can this centipede level off sometime soon/ Preferably ere we reach the moon?” Crraw squawked.
“We’re heading up to nearly the edge of space,” Urania yelled back. “I can’t wait to see the constellations… ”
“Then that is all very well for you/ You’re immortal, and Muse of astronomy too!/ But how are we supposed to respire?/ Without air to breathe, we’ll soon expire!”
“That is a bit of a problem. We’ll have to complete the journey horizontally. See to it, Pwt.”
“Roger!” the Muse of Animals shouted, and the giant centipede began to slow down.
What do you mean, she’s not a girl? Last time I looked, she had an udder. Have you ever seen a bull with an udder? I didn’t think so.
Plus, she’s a girl in Attack of the Smart Pies. SO THERE.
I suspect there’s more to Ajihad than anyone thinks. Where does he come from, anyway? My theory is a continent south of the Beor mountains, analogous to Africa. Maybe I’ll do a conversation with one of the Muses that reveals more about his past. Chad might sympathize with him, considering they come from the same sort of place. So Chad will talk with Orrin and Ajihad, Feather will befriend Angela… Any requests for other meetings between Muses and Alagaesians?
I can hardly even remember Eragon… I don’t know.
Writer’s block. Bleh.
Mergatroid finally dropped out of the cloud layer over Uru’baen. It was a dark, forbidding place, the narrow alleys in deep shadow from the towering ebony walls above them. At the center, like a midnight spider at the center of its onyx web, sprawled the fortress of Galbatorix.
“Black dragon, black castle, black city- Galbatorix really has a thing for black,” commented Mimi. “Couldn’t he complement it with a bit of white? Or maybe an ensemble of purples and blues? Even a dash of green would lighten it up…”
“I’ll thank you to keep your mall-rat fantasies to yourself,” Pwt said curtly.
Chapter Five
Bo eyed the ship uneasily. It looked even more impressive in the incongruous surroundings of a small wooded inlet. Nonetheless, she preferred to keep her hooves on firm ground. “Are yoooou sure about this?” she asked Brom.
“Absolutely,” the storyteller replied. “A friend of mine from Teirm- Jeod’s his name- knows the captain.”
“A friend of a friend. Great. Isn’t there a faster way?”
A shadow of pain crossed Brom’s face, and he unconsciously rubbed the hand on which his gedwey ignasia was concealed. “There was, once. But it’s not open to us now.”
Bo didn’t press him for answers, instead stepping warily up the gangplank.
38- Hmm, yes… or perhaps some pink.
This story is about an accident that ocurred when chad made a no I’ll just start… One day Chad was making a proton accelerator out of paper clips when suddenly… it blew up.
“Watch it, Chad,” said Mimi, who had been knocked flat. “Last time that happened, it took a week to rebuild your lab. Please be more careful…” Her voice trailed off when she saw what was where the proton accelorator had been. A figure. A figure that looked like… Herself?
Hope my fanfic seems dramatic at this point…
***
“Well, really!” Mimi said, offended. “I-” But she was again interrupted, this time by a massive ball of pinkish flame that struck Mergatroid in the midsection. The Muses’ world was suddenly a roaring maelstrom of light and heat. Then it stopped. Most of their clothes were smoldering, but they were otherwise unhurt, and the fireball hadn’t permeated Mergatroid’s armor.
I will try to merge the Muses (sans Koko) into one unified person. Koko just doesn’t deserve it.
Chad+Aeiou= Mocha skinned person dressed in pink robe with beribboned hat and yin-yang buckle on red belt.
+Bo= “” w/ hooves and horns. Female.
+Urania “” but with slightly lighter skin, purplish hint to robe, and blond streaks in black hair.
+Feather= “” w/ white wings and peachy tint to skin, slightly short and stout.
+Crraw= “” only with black wings and ability to fly. Male.
+Pwt= “” carrying large net and with a long nose.
+Mimi= “” with geometric patterns on robe. Tall and slim. Female, since female Muses outnumber males. Her name is made up of the first two letters of the names of all the Muses (again except Kokopelli.)
So. Chaebourfecrpwmi Almusa is tall and slim. She has medium-length hair, midnight black with a few blond streaks. Small horns protrude from between the dark locks. Her skin is of a mocha color with peachy flushes. The only mar to her beauty is a slightly overlong nose. She wears a robe of a sumptuous pinkish color with geometric patterns in purple. Delicate cloven hooves protrude from under its hem. Large, black wings are folded neatly on her back. A net is slung over her shoulder with the easy casualness of someone who knows how to use it.
Like it?
Yes, I do.
If you want to add Koko, just make the hair spiked, the jaw a little squarer, and a pie in the other hand.
I might use this in my fanfic.
“We must have set off a magical trap,” Mimi said. “But we’re still alive. Why?”
“Remember when we entered Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince? We were immune to magic there too. It’s Kokopelli we have to watch out for.”
“How can we be sure that he’s joined Galbatorix, anyway?”
“We can’t,” said Pwt, “but with Kokopelli, it’s prudent to expect the worst.”
“And why do we have to watch out for him? I mean, more than we watch out for him usually,” Mimi inquired.
“Aeiou says it’s because the draconic bonding drew his demi-quadrant of the Gonickan imaginative axis closer to the Paolinian, allowing ripple effects to occur in both axes when triggered by him,” Crraw said.
“Would you mind repeating that in English? Or any of the Australian aboriginal dialects would be fine,” replied a confused Mimi.
“Since he’s now a Dragon rider, he’s linked to both Kokonino County and Alagaesia. Magic can affect him, but he can also use magic to affect beings that are normally immune. Like us.”
There was a crackle, and nearly invisible lines stretched across the air to form a grid. Magenta flames ignited at each intersection of a line, dancing in midair. Then streams of banana cream pies shot out from each flame, bombarding the Muses and their steed.
“Case in point,” Urania said.
Oops! Sorry, I forgot to define a quinkle. It’s like a portal, but works similar to one of those television things in Charlie and the Chocolate factory. Chad modified it so that things come out the same size they start with, it appears through intelligant air, not a television, and it appears without someone reaching for it.
Later, the Muses met in Chad’s lab, which was unhurt. One smoke cloud had appeared near each Muse, and what looked like the 9 nine Muses had appeared out o them.
“I say, it’s our evil mirror twins,” said Kokopelli. “Why else should they look and act so much like us?”
“Aeiou thinks they got here because of some mistake Chad made while assembling the proton accelerator, creating some sort of magical explosion that warped the gap between our universe and theirs, allowing them to enter our uni-” Craww was cut short by a huge pumpkin pie that devastated Chad’s lab.
“Meeting adjourned,” put in Kokopelli.
Then, as a slate-blue shadow fell over the beleaguered Muses, something in each one of them died. Up until now, they had held out a feeble hope that their assumption was wrong, and Kokopelli had not joined Galbatorix. That hope was crushed.
A black pedestal of stone was rising from the topmost tower of Galbatorix’s fortress. Perched on it were two figures. One was a hatchling dragon, barely more than a day old. The other resembled a petroglyph called to life. It was midnight black. But three-quarters of the way down its sticklike arm, a glittering sliver of silver showed.
“Crustula brisingr!” Kokopelli yelled, and a flaming pie appeared in his hand. It hurtled toward the Muses like a vengeful comet. Mergatroid twisted to avoid it, but it sliced through the giant centipede like a hot knife through butter. Pwt gave a wail of anguish as the Muses fell to earth.
Down, down, down they plummeted. But just before they struck the dark, unyielding pavement, a net of glowing green fibers shot from each wall and linked in the middle. With a sigh of relief, Urania landed on the net. Then she was seized with a sudden misgiving. The strands seemed to be covered in viscous adhesive. She was stuck, and so were her colleagues around her.
50- lol, “crustula”.
51- lime pie-hesive!
Kokopelli did an elegant double backflip off the pedestal and landed lightly in the street below. The dragon hatchling fluttered awkwardly after him. His hand crackled with a nest of the same green fibers, which smelled faintly of key lime.
Urania twisted away from him, desperate to escape, only to find herself staring into the eyes of Galbatorix himself.
The usurper ignored Urania, speaking over her head. “You have proved yourself invaluable to me, Kokopelli, as I am sure your dragon, Turquoisa, will do in time.”
“Thank you, sir. Shall we execute them?”
“You said there were nine of you. I see only four here.”
“Well, there’s me. That makes- um-”
“Five.”
“Five. Right.”
Urania winced. She supposed that Koko’s aptitude for magic made Galbatorix overlook his incapacity for basic addition.
“Crraw isn’t here, but he was riding that demonic centipede. He must have flown away, like a coward. But that still leaves- um-”
“Three, you idiot,” Urania said scathingly, but the rest of her tirade was muffled. The key-lime fibers shot out from Kokopelli’s hand and wrapped around her face.
“Right,” the traitorous Muse continued. “Bo, Chad and Feather.”
Galbatorix stroked his chin. “Those three may be plotting against me as we speak. I will have these Muses taken to the dungeons and tortured until they tell me all they know about their missing comrades. In the meantime, I will have to launch an attack on the Varden to forestall any bold moves. But my most trusted henchman, Durza, is dead, and I have no commander for my army.”
“May I suggest… yours truly?”
“But your dragon isn’t large enough to fight or fly, much less carry you into battle. However, I have a remedy for that. In the vault with the eggs, you’ll find a small glass bottle. Feed a third of it to Turquoisa- I need the rest for the other eggs.”
Kokopelli turned to the ornate gates towering above him. He spoke a word, and they silently swung open. The Muse scuttled forward and vanished into shadow.
He didn’t notice the fleet black bird slipping in after him as it nervously hummed a limerick.
Chapter Six
Bo stared down at the heaving gray waves. “Isn’t there any way to make this ship go faster? Magic?”
“I could use magic to do it,” said Brom, who was standing on the deck next to her. “But I would use as much energy as if I’d rowed it myself. Which would kill me.”
“Mf mf,” said Mimi incomprehensibly. Then she wiped the lemon merang off her face. ” Youv’e both got a point there. How do-” Another giant pie cut her off.
“Illepokok sure throws big pies,” put in Chad.
“Youuuu could try taking some of my energy,” Bo said.
“Now wait a minute,” Brom stuttered. “I realize that cows have more stamina than humans, but I won’t have someone’s death on my conscience if it goes wrong.”
“I’m a Muuuuuse. We can live for millions of years if need be. A few centuries off my life won’t hurt. Try it.”
“So we should find a way to repeat the process mentioned by Aeiou. That’s what I think,”said Mimi.
“Who cares what you think?” snapped Koko.
“How rude,” siad Mimi. “How about you, Chad? What do you think?”
Chad didn’t answer. He was building a proton accelarator out of paper clips. When it suddenly blew up. When the smoke cleared, the Muses were not in Chad’s lab. They appeared to have made every trace vanish.
“But there’s Chad’s lab right there, which means it’s still standing,” said Urania. “But it seems completely unhurt by Illepokok’s giant pies. Which means…”
“That we’re in THEIR mirror universe!” finished Chad with a groan. “Naturally the warp affected only the part of Kokonino County where the explosion took place. Preventing the Esums from passing back into their own universe because they weren’t in range.”
Inigo stood, patiently waiting for the man in black to regain his strength. He didn’t mind how long he waited. He had a trick up his sleeve!
“Right, I’m ready if you are,” said the man in black.
“Draw!” Inigo cried.
From the beginning of the fight, it was obvious that the Man in black had an advantage. The tables were quickly turned, however, when Inigo, having been forced up against a wall, decided to throw the pastry that had magically appeared before him.
SPLAT!
The Man in black was sent reeling. Quickly, Inigo threw him to the ground, and ran off after his master.
ohmygod pc you write so much better than paolini it’s not even funny!!!
Brom sighed. “All right.”
He placed his hands on Bo’s forehead and began probing into her spirit. It was a soft, cool sensation, a blend of slow thoughts spinning sluggishly. It felt to Brom like a pale green light, made from meditative ruminations and bovine dreams. He immersed his consciousness in it. Then he began to pull it back out.
The ship slowed at first, a minty green glow spreading across its timbers and bleeding into the stormy water. Then it sped forward, a bow wave of spray hurtling up below the figurehead. Bo shuddered, and shut her eyes.
Brom kept extracting life force from the Muse, taking ten times the amount that would kill a human being. But even then, green soul-stuff flowed gently into the grip of his thoughts, welling up from some deep reservoir. The captain and crew stared around in consternation, heaving vaguely on ropes and sails in hopes of helping. But it was as redundant as beetles trying to make a sports car go faster. In only a few hours, they had sailed clear around the southern tip of Alagaesia. Now came the real test of Bo’s strength and Brom’s skill.
The storyteller concentrated, and the ship began to lift out of the water.
****
I’m going to figure out the names of Koko du Puelle’s alternate Muses.
Illepokok
Dahc
Uoiea
Ob
Ainaru
Rehtaef
Warrc
Twp
Imim
Cool.
A horrendous crash was heard by the Muses. A large, green, glowing, meteorite had fallen and struck the ground near them. The Muses stepped up to it. Suddenly they grew dizzy, they lost their sight, and when their eyes cleared, they weren’t in Oninokok Ytnuoc. They were in front of a cave. A boulder had been rolled away from the entrance, and the Green Goblin was standing in triumph over the unconcious body of Spider-Man.
“Oh no!” cried Mimi. “We’re in the Museblog!”
In the meantime, Feather and Chad were flying across the landscape of Alagaesia in their unorthodox glass vehicle.
“Tell me how this works again?” Feather asked.
“Well,” Chad explained, “the curved panels refract the light in such a way that the air below the flat bottom of the Silicomobile-” (Chad had christened it a few hours before) “- is superheated. This lifts the entire structure off the ground, and your coal-burning engine powers the propellers. Friction is further reduced by the aerodynamic-”
Chad stopped. Feather lay slumped over in his chair, snoring. The Muse of Hardware would have been offended, had he not seen that they were approaching Teirm.
Seconds later, a blinding flash was followed by a thunder clap, and the Muses found themselves in what seemed like a cave with a mysterious stone statue with an egg. The egg was green, with lighter green rings all over it.
Then Mimi cried out, “Where’s Kokopelli?”
64- This isn’t going to link up with mine, is it?
Mine is dead. I don’t know what will happen next. But that’s okay, because I’m going to go work on The Makepeace War now! *skips off*
65-No. This is the first place I even heard of Eragon. Sounds good though…
Chapter Two
Koko then reappeared, and then a man walked into the cave. He wore a dark cloak and a helmet like a knight’s. He also wore a belt, and carried a dark blue staff with two silver crescents near the top.
“Who-who are youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu?” asked an incredulous Bo.
“My name is YAT,” replied the man. “And who are YOU, might I ask?”
YAT? This sounds familiar. Except- hang on, you weren’t in on that story! Oh, now I’m confused. Never mind me.
***
Crraw fluttered nervously in a cobwebbed corner. For the past few hours, Kokopelli had been traveling through a labyrinth of passages beneath Uru’baen, and trailing him was beginning to wear on Crraw’s nerves. Every few feet, the traitorous Muse would stop and make a mystic sign or speak an incantation. Each time, a powerful barrier of magic slid back, and then snapped into place once Kokopelli had passed. Each time, Crraw fluttered silently through the barrier, immune to its effects. Finally, they reached a dark stone cavern. It appeared to be empty, but a massive, hemispherical web of spells loomed at the far end, visible only as a slight shimmer. Kokopelli stepped into the web, his hand with the gedwey ignasia raised before him. Crraw flitted through after him.
A raised pedestal of black stone suddenly became visible. Three small depressions were carved out around its perimeter. One was empty, but the other two contained a red and a green egg respectively. A glittering crystal bottle filled with golden liquid rested at the center of the pedestal.
Crraw knew where the eggs were, but he also knew that trying to steal them was futile, surrounded by battalions of Urgals and Kokopelli himself. He would have to lay low for a while, scavenging for food in the kitchens and sleeping in inconspicuous corners.
don’t male cows have udders? (finally, a real argument!)
70- Do male humans have, uh, you know… Of course not.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!funfunfufnfufnfunfunfufnfufnfunfunfufnfufnfunfunfufnfufnfunfunfufnfufnfunfunfufnfufnfunfunfufnfufnfunfunfufnfufnfunfunfufnfufnfunfunfufnfufnfunfunfufnfufnfunfunfufnfufnfunfunfufnfufnfunfunfufnfufnfunfunfufnfufnfunfunfufnfufnfunfunfufnfufnfunfunfufnfufnfunfunfufnfufnfunfunfufnfufnfunfunfufnfufnfunfunfufnfufnfunfunfufnfufnfunfunfufnfufnfunfunfufnfufnfunfunfufnfufnfunfunfufnfufnfunfunfufnfufnfunfunfufnfufnfunfunfufnfufnfunfunfufnfufn!
OKOK i guess you’re right.
The Muses introduced themselves. “And you look like a wizard, and we seem to be in the wrong dimension, so could you please teleport us to a paralell universe?” added a frantic Chad.
“Well, okay, but I’m not sure this will work,” said YAT, not noticing that Kokopelli had grabbed the egg. “Here goes…” He lowered his staff and raised his hand, and a ball of pure magical energy leaped from his palm, turning to silver when it neared the Muses. It exploded when it hit them, but they were unfazed.
70-muselover, male cows are BULLS! They are NOT referred to as “male cows”!
Uraina sat in her room watching the sky. In the sky a fire was burning. A supernova. That pretty amazing in itself. What was more amazing was that, judging by her calculations, it was extremely close. Abnormaly close. So close that Earth would feel its efects…
Far out in the desert a scorion watched that the celestial lightshow. It had lived for almost four hundred years thanks to Kokonino Counties magical ambience, and it had never seen anythig like this. Shooting stars streeked across the sky. Suddenly a hi — pitched whine pierced the silence. Part of the star was falling to Earth.
—
Kokopelli sat in the morning sunlight and stared at the fallen star through his IA terminal.
((I’ll continue later))
Chapters One-Three of Muse/Eragon Fanfiction
Prologue
“Boetq istari!” he uttered, and…
A strange shadow appeared on the rock next to him, as though a primitive lithograph had suddenly been called to life. Strangely, it was carrying a pie. “Wow,” it said, looking around at the blazing fire. “Can you teach me how to do that?”
The Shade reeled back. “What manner of spirit are you?”
“A Muse. Istari!” The pie burst into flames. “Now I just have to find Feather.”
The Shade snarled and shouted to the surrounding Orcs Urgals. Leaping through bracken and scrub, he bounded towards the cornered elves.
And found them lying, unmoving, on the ground. The horses had bolted, and the elves’ faces were covered in a sweet-smelling, custard-like substance. Bewildered, the Shade spun around and saw a wavering shadow, silhouetted against the fire, dash away to the east. A glint of sapphire showed in its sticklike arms.
The Shade howled. “After him!!”
The shadow raced silently on, clutching the shimmering indigo egg. Urgals stomped after it, making considerably more noise. A sheer rock face suddenly loomed up in front of the shadow, which leaped to the side. The lead Urgal slammed into the rock face and fell backward, creating a domino effect that knocked all of them to the ground.
The shadow cocked its angular head. “Aren’t orcs supposed to be smart? Oh, wait, you’re Urgals. Sorry.”
Then it dashed off into the night.
Chapter One
Back in the conflagration, a brilliant green star appeared, shining purely among the darkly glowing flames. The star widened into a flat, vertical disc of light with wavering edges. Then an image appeared in the center of the disc. It was a desert, with massive red-brown rocks sculpted into surreal shapes by the wind. A velvety purple sky, studded with tiny stars, presided over the scene.
A man stepped out of the disc. He was dark-skinned, wearing a robe that had once been pure white, but was now badly stained with engine oil and vanilla ice cream. He stared around him with an air of resignation. Then he spoke. “He’s gone.”
A woman with pale blond hair, wearing an elaborate toga, was the next to step out. “You shouldn’t have given Kokopelli the code to your internarrative transporter.”
“I didn’t give it to him, Urania! He forced it out of me at pie-point!”
“What flavor?”
“Apple a la mode.”
“That would explain the stains.”
A tall, slender Oriental woman in magenta clothing gracefully leaped out of the disc. A crow hovered above her right shoulder. She waved her long sleeves around in complicated patterns.
The crow spoke. “Aeiou says that maybe you can track down Kokopelli by hacking into his Intelligent Air transmitter- AWWKK!!!!”
This last ejaculation was brought on by a large-nosed, androgynous person in Egyptian clothing who jumped out of the disc and flailed a large net menacingly at the bird. “Let me at him!” the person howled.
“Calm down, Pwt,” came a voice from inside the disc. It was soothing, with just the slightest hint of an Australian accent. “We’re all in this together.”
A skinny woman with spiked hair reached out of the portal and placed a hand on Pwt’s arm. She was wearing a dress with geometric patterns.
Pwt reluctantly put down the net. “Maybe you’re right, Mimi. Where are Bo and Feather?”
A short, plump creature with an orange beak and large, floppy wings waddled out. He looked at the burning trees and burst into tears, flinging his arms around a blackened stump. “Waaaaaaahhhh!!!!!!!!!!”
“Well, Feather’s here,” said Mimi.
A cow stumped out of the disc, which collapsed into a bright green star after it. “I’m here toooooo. Mooooo.”
“Well, all the Muses are here,” said Urania. “What’s our plan of action?”
“Stop Kokopelli from wreaking havoc in this story,” said Pwt.
Urania sighed. “I was hoping for something a little more specific.”
The man in the white robe spoke. “Aeiou’s right. I can hack into Kokopelli’s transmitter and find out where- ”
“MORE of you?” came a thunderous voice from behind him. The Shade strode out from the trees, raising his sword.
“Chad, he said ‘more of you,'” Urania said to the man in the robe. “Does that mean… ”
“Yes,” Chad said. “Kokopelli’s been here. Look, Mr. Durza, sir, if we just- ”
“DIE!” howled the Shade, and raised his hand. A cloud of purple smoke billowed up from the ground, and in it materialized a giant centipede with a bronze exoskeleton and six iridescent wings.
With a horrendous screech that sounded like a wildcat dragging its claws down a blackboard, the centipede scuttled forward. Pwt let out several breathy hisses, and it stopped in its tracks. Pwt screeched once more, and the centipede rubbed its head against the Muse’s leg like a contented cat.
Durza opened his mouth, preparing to utter another incantation, but Chad pulled out an object like a lumpy, metal tangerine and pressed a button on it. A thick wad of air coalesced in the Shade’s mouth. He struggled, making sounds like “Mmmph” and “Bwwlllffrgrl,” but bands of air slammed shut around him, and he dropped to the ground, quivering.
“Right,” Chad said, taking control of the situation. “Pwt, can you get your- um- demon-centipede friend to fly us into the air?”
“I think I can. Why?”
“So that we can chase down Kokopelli more easily. Let’s all get on- um-”
“Mergatroid,” Pwt said.
“Mergatroid?”
“Mergatroid.”
Chad shook his head in disbelief. The Muses filed onto Mergatroid’s back, but it was found that Bo would not fit.
“All right,” Chad said. “Bo, you can just stay here.”
“What?” said the indignant cow.
“Or you can go back to Kokonino.”
“I’ll stay. Hmmmmoooooooph.”
Mergatroid and his riders buzzed away into the night.
Bo turned around and began moodily chewing her cud. She stopped, however, when she saw Durza immobile on the ground.
“Oh. Hello.” She paused. “Dooooo youuuuu know what I just learned? In 1937, a fossilized fragment of trilobite shell was found in Romania. Now, this fragment was significant because…”
Five hours later, Bo had ended her lecture on the different subtypes of trilobite and was just getting into her stride while explaining the chemical composition of the graham cracker and how it related to the rise and fall of the value of wheat flour. As painfully random factoids coursed through the Shade’s tortured brain cells, it became too much to bear. With horrible, muffled screams, he hopped to the edge of a cliff, every small jump agonizing, and leaped off. His fall was halted by a sharp, fire-hardened pine trunk about twenty meters down.
Bo watched him fall. “Hmmooooooph. No thirst for knowledge, eh?”
Chapter Two
Deep in Du Weldenvarden, Kokopelli stopped running when he heard a strange beeping noise emanating from his wronket*. He reached into it and pulled out a small, spherical instrument with many dials and buttons. A screen was flashing on it, ghostly green characters flickering hazily beneath its surface.
“So that’s your game, Chad,” Kokopelli mumbled. “Track this.”
He flicked a small protuberance on the controller. It folded up, revealing a green button beneath it. Kokopelli pressed it with relish.
Two metallic wings slotted out of the instrument’s sides. They began to beat, slowly at first, but speeding up until they were just a blur. The sphere lifted off into the night. Kokopelli stashed the dragon egg in his wronket and continued running.
*An invisible pocket of Intelligent Air that Muses keep items in. If you can explain how Kokopelli can produce pies from thin air any other way, I will be very impressed.
***
The wind whipped Chad’s cap off, but he didn’t notice, he was so absorbed in the tiny transmitter in his lap. “He’s cut southeast to the Hadarac Desert!” the Muse yelled.
“Aeiou says there’s something fishy about all this,” the crow shouted back. “He’s moving too fast. We know he can’t run like that, and there’s no transport in this entire novel that can get up to that speed.”
“Crraw, I’m certain of it,” Chad replied. “We have to follow him. If the egg hatches, this plot will be irretrievably changed.”
With a sound like ten thousand maddened flies, Mergatroid put on an extra turn of speed and shot off to the south, following Kokopelli’s decoy.
***
Kokopelli sat down, exhausted. In the heart of Du Weldenvarden, especially to a being like a Muse, the magic was almost palpable. The air sang with anticipation, as though a great event was about to take place. Which, of course, it was.
There was a crack, soft enough, but it seemed to drown out all the other sounds of the forest.
The egg was beginning to hatch.
***
Some hours later, as the gray light of dawn washed across the sky, a cow plodded down out of a steep mountain pass in the Spine. It stood there for a second, surveying the valley below. Then it began trudging down the slope, heading for the tiny village of Carvahall, and in particular, the home of the storyteller Brom.
***
And far away, in the city of Teirm, in a small room filled with sweet, musky scents, a woman bent over the knucklebones cast in front of her. A small boy with a sprig of holly tucked behind his ear surveyed them with equal concentration.
The woman spoke. “Whatever I try, it’s the same. All my attempts to scry have been blocked by the presence of nine entities, strange to this world.”
The boy spoke without opening his mouth. In fact, his words bypassed the troublesome formalities of being spoken and being heard, and passed straight from mind to mind. Do you think that Durza…
“No. Even he doesn’t have the power to summon spirits of this potency. I can only say one thing for sure, Solembum. Alagaesia will never be the same again.”
Chapter Three
The sharp night air whipped past Chad’s face, making his eyes water. Three hundred feet above the Hadarac, Mergatroid was making good time. Chad peered down at his Intelligent Air transmitter, dexterous fingers flicking expertly across buttons and levers.
“We should be right over Kokopelli now,” Chad yelled, “but I don’t see any sign of him.”
“I’ll bring Mergatroid down,” Pwt replied. The Egyptian muse let out a long screech, and their unusual steed descended.
As they approached, Chad could make out a fluttering shadow above the desert sand. Was it a bird? No, too rounded. In fact, it looked just like…
“We’ve been tricked!” Chad howled in frustration. “That’s Kokopelli’s transmitter!”
***
Brom sipped his tea pensively. He had a lot on his mind. Had Arya managed to safely deliver the egg? Did Galbatorix suspect his purposes? And, above all, what did the strange, magical disturbances that had taken place recently mean? He wasn’t sure if they were even magical. Powerful, certainly, but they were so bizarre that it was impossible to tell. In fact, if he didn’t know better, he would swear that they came from outside the world…
Brom’s ruminations were interrupted by a loud knocking on the door. He got up, opened it, and found himself staring into the face of a cow.
Brom looked around. Carvahall was almost deserted, its citizens snoring lustily in their houses.
“Whose cow is this?” he called out, shivering a bit in the chill morning air.
“I’m mine,” the cow said. “And there’s something I think you should know. Have you ever been associated with an organization known as the Varden?”
In fairness to Brom, he recovered well. “Who are you? Did Durza send you?” He sent a tentative probe of thought into the cow-thing’s mind. Then he reeled back, overwhelmed by the explosion of utterly useless knowledge that cascaded into his brain.
“No. I’m a Muuuuuse. There are eight others of us- Chad, Mimi, Crraw, Pwt, Aeioooooou, Kokopelli, Urania and Feather. It’s Kokopelli in particular that I want to speak about.”
So Bo explained, as the sun came up and shone through the gaps between the peaks of the Spine. How the Muses came from another world, where Alagaesia was but the setting for a well-known book. How the Muses gave Humans their inspiration for the arts and sciences. And how a certain Muse, specializing in Tunes and Tricks, had stolen the dragon egg intended for the Varden.
“This is horrible.” Brom stirred his tea. “I know you’re speaking the truth, since I sampled your mind. But hold on!” A glimmer of hope lit his grizzled features. “If Kokopelli is one of these helpful beings, he’ll be willing to aid us.”
“Um… ” Bo paused, unsure how to put this. “The only thing Kokopelli is willing to doooo is wreak havoc.”
“This IS bad. A creature like a Muse has enough raw power coursing through its corporeal form to confuse an egg into hatching.”
“Kokopelli as a Dragon Rider… He’ll be insufferable. What’s worrying me is that there’s only one person who can teach him to use his new powers while still causing complete chaos.”
“Galbatorix??”
“Spot on. I need to contact Chad. Hopefully he’s caught up with Koko by now.”
Bo reached into her wronket and pulled out a specially modified Intelligent Air transmitter which had been equipped with small booster jets to accommodate a user without hands. Bo’s sensitive nose flickered from button to lever to toggle switch. Brom watched in awe as a three-dimensional picture formed in the room. It showed a dark-skinned man wearing stained robes that flapped in the wild wind.
“Did you catch up with Kokopelli?” Bo inquired.
“No,” Chad said grimly. “He’s tricked us. He could be anywhere in Alagaesia by now.”
Stunned, Bo cut off the transmission. Brom reached for a small saucer and a bottle of black liquid. “I’ll scry for the egg. If it hasn’t hatched, there’s still hope.”
Brom poured three drops of liquid into the saucer, then muttered something incomprehensible. His face abruptly grew three shades paler. At first Bo thought that it was simply the strain of working magic. Then, as she peered into the saucer, she realized it was much more than that.
Against the unnaturally black backdrop of the liquid, a heap of iridescent blue shards could be discerned. The egg had hatched, and Kokopelli had become a Dragon Rider.
“Oops, there’s one little problem we forgot about,” said Chad. “We’re immune to magic. Which is useful if we set off a magical trap and get huge fireballs fired at us, but it’s bad if we’re trying to get back in our own dimension when we’re trapped in a paralell universe! This is a problem…”
“Definitely,” replied YAT. “Unless… what if you were in posession of my egg? When it hatched, one of you could become a Dragon Lord, and… No. That wouldn’t work, but then again… You’d best speak with Warlic.”
“Warlic? Who’s he, and how do we reach him?” inquired Mimi.
“Just exit the cave, climb the hill, and walk up to the Gryphon. Then tell it to take you to Warlic’s zone. You can find him easily from there.”
As the star smashed to Earth, spraying sand every where.The scorpion rushed backward, clicking its claws. The glowing metal was changing… spreading… morphing… into a circle.
—
The Muse of tricks watched with delight as the metal circle grew. It positively oozed with magic. This would make revenge a lot easier. They couldn’t stop him this time…
—
The circle began to whine, a high pitched piercing whine, enemated from its surface. There was a flash of blinding light and the smoking remains of a spaceship lay smoldering in the desert. One word was crudely painted across its surface. Victory.
The first visitor had entered the Oasis.
—
Kokopelli would have had grinned if he had a mouth. If the Museblog was going to help, he would be unnstopable. He wounldn’t need smart pies this time.
((I’m not putting the Muses in a story I’m bringing the stories to them.))
Heehee. I get it. I thought maybe that was what was happening when you posted the first part.
The Muses followed YAT’s instructions, and soon found Warlic. He wore a blue cloak like YAT’s except for color, and his hair was white, giving an impression of age. As the Muses walked up to him, he suddenly said, “Interesting, very interesting. I am Warlic, the blue mage. How may I help you, uh, um…” “Muse,” finished Chad. “We are the Muses.”
“Muses?” Warlic replied incredulously.
“Yes,” replied Chad. “Muses.” The Muses introduced themselves, and told Warlic their entire story. “And we wanted to see what you thought of YAT’s idea,” finished Pwt all in one breath.
“Hmmmmmm…” Warlic seemed deep in thought. He finally spoke again, “If one of you is to become a Dragon Lord, then that one must have a Dragon Amulet. I may be able to locate one for you. I may… Speak with Ash Dragonblade and ask to find out what a Dragon Amulet is.”
83 – Is that random garble or some sort of code?
It was a bit of spam that slipped through the gate. I’ve zapped it.
So that’s what junk you have to put up with when you moderate? *feels sorry for the GAPAs who spend hour after hour snipping garbage like that*
Chapter Seven
A small, pudgy chap hurried along a wide street in Teirm. He was acting on a lead he had gotten from an informer. He knew that Galbatorix would pay him well if he got his hands on a witch and a werecat. However, his ambition would never be realized. It is superfluous to name him, because in precisely seven seconds he will be dead.
A ship, banners trailing, St. Elmo’s fire flickering around the masts, soared above the high roofs and came barreling down the street. The man spun around to avoid it, only to see a hovering monstrosity of curved glass bearing down from the other side.
The headwind from both vehicles met in the middle and launched him into the sky like a hand squeezing a bar of soap. He was subsequently devoured by a flock of small but ravenous water birds indigenous to Teirm and the surrounding area.
“On second thought, I’ll just tell you myself,” said Warlic. “A Dragon Amulet is a very powerful item. Its owner can speak Dragon, use the most powerful items, and enter secret areas. For example, the Water Elemental Dungeon nearby is Dragon Amulet only. Only a Dragon Amulet can allow you to open the magical barrier and pass into the Dungeon.”
“Hmmmmmmmmmmm… And what about Dragon Lords?” asked Chad.
“When the dragon eggs hatch, those with a Dragon Amulet can use the hatchlings to become Dragon Lords,” replied Warlic.
here is a much better post than my redwall one>.
The Eighteen of the company of the Ring hurried along the path in Moria. Gimli cried out when he saw Balin’s tomb in the chamber of Mazribul. Suddenly, they heard the drums. “They are coming,” said Legolas. “We cannot get out!” cried Gimli. Bo blocked the door with her(you win, Prarilius Canix and Koko du Pelle) hoof and said, “Up the stairs! Hurry!” As they ran away, Frodo suddenly thought, “Where’s Kokopelli?” Bo was about to find out. With one swing from an orc’s mace, the door splintered and she was caught in an instant. Something suddenly caught her eye. Kokopelli was among the orcs! “You betrayed us!” she yelled, as the orcs, debating over wether to butcher Bo for meat or to use her for milk, carried her off into the distance.
more to come!
“Bo!” Chad yelled, seeing his comrade on the deck.
“Chad! Feather!” the cow yelled back.
here is a quick sequel:
Kokopelli, of course, had not betrayed them, but had simply done things his own way, as you see in Attack of the Smart Pies. He was actually carrying Bo to a place where they could talk safely.
oh, the suspense!
Several minutes later, after a few hurried introductions and reunions, the group had gathered outside a door.
“Are you sure about this?” Bo said as she raised a hoof to knock.
“As sure as I can be,” muttered Brom. “Well, Angela’s always been a bit of a loose canon, but she’s very powerful, if unorthodox.”
***
Crraw’s chance came earlier than he expected. Kokopelli left the room to fetch a bowl for Turquoisa. Unfortunately, he had forgotten the elixir.
Quick as thought, Crraw swept down and seized the bottle in his beak and an egg in each claw.
A huge pillar of lilac flame shot up from the pedestal, and a deep gong resounded throughout the castle. Crraw was caught in the middle of the incinerating blast. Any normal crow would now just be a pinch of ash and a couple of drifting feathers. However, Crraw was no normal crow. He adjusted his pinions and soared upward, just as dozens of Urgals poured into the room.
The lilac flame had blown a hole clean through the stone ceiling, and Crraw suddenly found himself on the next level. Picking a direction at random, he sped off down a tunnel.
***
“Do your worst, scum,” Urania snarled as she hung by a chain from the dungeon ceiling. “I’ve survived solar flares.”
The Ra’zac only hissed in answer, handing a small bottle of Seithr oil to its companion. Galbatorix, watching, chuckled. “I’ll give you one last chance. What are the rest of the Muses doing?”
Urania snorted derisively.
Galbatorix nodded to the Ra’zac, who began to gently tip the bottle just in front of Urania’s face.
It was at that precise moment that Crraw flew past the barred door of the dungeon and saw the horrific scene about to take place. He knew that he had no chance of rescuing Urania by physical force. So, he reacted to the situation with his extensive vocabulary and famous eloquence.
“Hey, bug-eyes!” he yelled. “Yo’ mama so ugly she gotta sneak up on a glass to get a drink of water!”
The Ra’zac spun around, bottle of oil raised threateningly. Crraw stuck out his tongue.
And that was when Urania seized the bottle between her feet and splashed it all over the monsters beneath her. Galbatorix raised a hand to cast a spell, but a flying high kick by the Muse of Astronomy delivered the bottle with its payload of dissolving fluid straight into the usurper’s face. Safe in his stronghold, Galbatorix had not bothered to set up any wards, a mistake that cost him his life. Before he was able to speak a spell, his face no longer existed. The Ra’zac writhed on the floor in agony.
Urania averted her eyes from the gruesome scene. “About time, Crraw. Get me out of here.”
Now Kokopelli can take control of the Empire. Hee hee…
Crraw reached a slim, flexible claw through the bars and pulled a ring of keys off the belt of a disintegrating Ra’zac. After a few minutes, he found the correct key and opened the door. In a few more seconds, Urania was free. The Muse dusted herself off, adjusted her ragged robe, and pulled her lank, matted blond hair back into something that resembled a ponytail.
“I’ve got the eggs,” Crraw said, “and an elixir that causes dragon hatchlings to grow to full size.”
“Great!” Urania said enthusiastically. “This will help the Varden no end. Let’s go free the others.”
Just as they stepped out into the corridor, however, Kokopelli came tearing down from the far end, screaming bloody murder. Turquoisa galumphed enthusiastically after him.
“Come on, we have to get the rest of the Muses out!” Crraw exclaimed, tugging at Urania’s sleeve.
Then dozens of Urgals, armed to the teeth, poured around the corner and charged after Kokopelli.
“On second thought,” Crraw said, “they can fend for themselves.”
“My thoughts exactly,” replied Urania, before spinning around and running for her life.
“Crustula thierra kalfis!” came a yell behind them, and Urania tripped, her ankles immured in meringue. Crraw fell to the floor, squawking, dragged down by the blueberry pie that his feet were stuck in. Urania hauled herself up, but it was no use; they had come to a dead end.
Kokopelli pulled a shimmering blue sword from his wronket, the hilt encrusted with turquoise and sterling silver.
“Now,” exclaimed Koko, “you will-”
Urania tossed the bottle of elixir at him. “Catch.”
After I finish this Muse fanfiction, I have plans for a Muse-style dystopia set thirty years in the future. Kokopelli will secretly be leading an underground movement to overthrow Megacorp, a business that has bought the entire Northern Hemisphere and brainwashed the Muses. This movement, known as Ω (omega), will be primarily composed of former MuseBloggers. My question is: Does anybody want to be mentioned in it? I won’t do real names, as our MB pseudonyms will be code names.
99-You may put me in. Or, if you will accept suggestions, have a smaller organazation within Omega, containing former members of the PoPoPo, with another mission that they must complete as well as overthrowing Megacorp. That could add suspense.
My fanfic fell apart after post 87. I might start another one. One that’s better.
100- Okay.
Kokopelli dropped the sword, arms flailing wildly. But it was no use. The bottle smashed on the flagstones, and he fell backward, landing with a loud thump on the floor.
The Urgals looked around, confused. This gave Crraw the opportunity to snatch up the eggs and use them as effective battering rams. One in each claw, he slammed the diamond-hard shells into Urgals’ foreheads one after another.
The horned monsters collapsed, their helmets bashed in. Urania picked up a spear and faced the supine Kokopelli.
Koko reacted quickly. “Jierda!” he yelled, and the entire floor and part of the wall gave way. Urania slammed her spear into a crack in the mortar, while Crraw fluttered above her head. Kokopelli tumbled down to the next floor.
More Urgals were thundering down the tunnel, too many for Crraw to knock out. But Urania had a plan.
She looked out the jagged hole in the wall. A forbidding drop stretched down to hard, unforgiving cobblestones. But among all that black, there was a flicker of luminous green.
With a strength born of desperation, Urania snapped the spearshaft in half and lashed the broken ends together at an angle with her elaborate hairbands. Then she fastened her shawl to both ends to make a crude delta shape. It was a long battle spear, and the shawl was large enough to stretch over the frame. Would it work? Urania wasn’t sure, but it was her only chance. She stuffed the eggs into her wronket and took hold of the shaft.
“Grab hold,” she said to Crraw, and jumped.
99- Sure! That would be fun. My fanfiction didn’t work. I got wb. And i haven’t time to do another one on top of SF and TMW.
Koko du Puelle- An operative sent to brainpie (brainwash by pieing) the CEO of Megacorp.
Alice- An officer with whom Kokopelli discusses Operation Omega (a second Attack of the Smart Pies).
Do you guys approve? I won’t do this without your permission.
106- Yeah, it’s fine with me.
Crraw screamed. “Are you mad? This is bad!”
Then Urania landed on the net of key-lime fibers that Kokopelli had used to restrain them in the street.
106-YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
109- You’ll get locked up in the Thought Correction Facility, but Bo, who is now an inmate, will help you and the other prisoners escape and wreak havoc on Megacorp.
~
The fibers stretched for what seemed like eternity, then snapped back. Urania hurtled into the air. The spearshaft and shawl acted as a crude airfoil, accelerating her ascent. Crraw clung to her hair like grim death, but brought up one claw to activate his Intelligent Air terminal. As he entered a certain code into it, a gale-force wind caught the airfoil and flung the two Muses forward.
“You’re not the only one with good ideas!” Crraw yelled. “This Intelligent Air storm will carry us all the way to the Varden. Kokopelli doesn’t have the growth elixir any longer, so his dragon will grow as slowly as ours. That is, if they hatch for any of the Varden. But I think they will.”
Chapter Eight
“Enter!” came a voice from inside the room.
“I’ll go in,” said Brom. “You wait outside.”
Feather lifted his sensitive beak and sniffed as Brom disappeared through the door. He smelled all sorts of herbs. Mostly fungus, some unfamiliar genera, and- is that a hint of motherwort?
The Muse of Plants tiptoed into the room. Brom’s back was turned to him, but he couldn’t help but overhear the conversation.
“Then it’s war?” said a woman’s voice?
“Or will be,” Brom replied.
“But we’ve got these what-d’you-call-ems- Muses- looking for the other eggs.”
“Even if they get those, the problem is that dragons take so long to grow. With two fully grown dragons and Riders to their two, we might beat them. But they outnumber us. Without dragons, we don’t stand a chance.”
“One dragon on their side, now.”
“What?”
“I scryed for Galbatorix. Wasn’t a pretty sight.”
“What happened?”
“He’s dead. Seithr oil. Therefore, so is Shruikan.”
“But we still have the same problem. Is it possible to accelerate the growth process of dragons?”
“Theoretically, but designing and concocting an elixir for the purpose would take almost infinite knowledge of different obscure herbs and their properties. I could do it, but I’d need help from someone, and that someone would have to know a heck of a lot about plants- GET OUT OF THERE!”
Feather guiltily pulled his beak out of the potion cupboard, a half-eaten pastry falling out of his mouth.
110-Are you saying Megacorp is going to try to brainwash me? But Bo helps me escape and I wreak havoc! And brainpie the CEO! w00t!
And when Kokopelli goes to attain Urania’s help in defeating Megacorp, Alice will be left in command of Ω.
112- Ooh, I’m in command! Exciting.
112-I hope Alice can take the responsibility…
114- She’ll be up to it.
~
“I have two questions,” said Angela, glaring fiercely. “First, who are you? And second, did you actually eat the donut I made with the yolk of an addled dragon egg?”
“First, I’m the Muse of Plants. Second-” He burped. A stream of orange flame blasted out of his mouth and lit Brom’s hair on fire.
“So the answer to the second question is yes,” Angela said, as she doused the Rider’s hair with the contents of a nearby cauldron.
I’ll start a new fanfic. As soon as I get an idea… Suggestions? If your suggestion gets used, I might let you co-author it.
116- The Muses in Star Trek. Have the Enterprise discover the planet Kokonino in the Kounti system.
117-Negative. Never seen Star Trek. Sorry that makes Star Trek sound like a mivie. Any other brilliant plans? No… I’ve got it! The muses in Star Wars! But hmmmmmm… what episode should I put them in?
Ep…. Which episode would they work best in…?
I maybe want to do a action novel with Muses crashed in.
119- Put ’em in The Phantom Menace.
121-They could get zapped in sometime at the beginning, help Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan get into the landing craft, then…I might want to watch the movie again first, to refresh my memory… I will do it from the Muse’s point of view…
NOBODY HAS POSTED FOR 4 DAYS!!!!!!!!!! PC, where is your story? Help!
I just haven’t been inspired recently.
After PC responded to me there was another 2 day gap. Didn’t Alice have a story?
125- I can’t handle that as well as my myriad other projects.
Quickly, Brom explained about the Muses, occasionally sending Angela relevant images from his mind.
“And he’s the muse of Plants?” the witch queried.
“Yes,” Brom said.
“I’m surprised that there are any gardeners still alive, if he’s the one inspiring them,” came a whisper from the shadows.
Feather had excellent hearing. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
A small, dark-haired boy came into view, slowly changing shape into a large cat. It means you’re dumb, he said into the Muse’s mind.
Feather gestured. A vine whipped out of a cupboard and wrapped around the werecat’s neck. “Less of the lip, Felix.”
“Solembum! Enough!” yelled Angela. She turned to Feather. “You think you can help me with an elixir?”
“If it has to do with plants, I can do anything.”
Angela grinned. “Let’s do this, then.”
****
It was a while later when Urania and Crraw finally landed in the Beor Mountains. Urania, having read Eragon, was familiar with the password, and they entered without much trouble.
That is, until they reached a large passage in the rock. Two bald, robed men stood barring their way, backed up by a large contingent of short, hairy, armed-to-the-teeth individuals, presumably dwarfs.
“Halt,” snarled one of the men. “You know the words to enter here, but we must look into your mind to make sure of your intentions.”
“Would you like to see my ID?” Urania said. Her patience had been worn thin, and without further ado she pulled out both dragon eggs.
“She’s a friend, Egraz Carn!” exclaimed one of the dwarfs. “Let her pass.”
But the two men were obstinate. Urania felt one of them reaching into her mind. “Do it to the dumb beast as well,” he said mockingly, before plunging into the Muse’s psyche.
“Your funeral,” Urania muttered, and opened the depths of her knowledge to the bald man.
With a scream, he hurtled back across the tunnel, his brain filled to bursting with the horror of black space and the unimaginable glory of the stars. He crashed into the wall and lay still.
The one mentally interrogating Crraw was babbling about sonnets and limericks, but seemed unable to break away.
“Let him go,” Urania snapped at the Muse of Poetry.
“No. He called me a dumb beast.”
“Human minds aren’t built to hold the knowledge that a Muse’s is. His brain will start boiling any minute, now let him go!”
Crraw reluctantly complied, and the bald man collapsed. With a few wary glances, the dwarfs admitted the two Muses.
****
Chad worked the controls of his Silicomobile, desperately trying to compensate for the explosions in the passenger quarters. “What are you doing back there?” he yelled desperately.
Feather poked his nose out of the cloud of luminescent smoke. “Experimenting. I think we’ve found a formula that will work.”
“Good, because if Angela’s scrying was correct, Kokopelli is now the Emperor. And he won’t waste any time attacking the Varden.”
“How far away from the Beors are we?” inquired Bo.
Chad looked at a speedometer and map, both of which he had produced from his wronket. “We’re approaching them now.”
Chapter Nine
Despite some initial suspicion, Urania and Crraw had been accepted by the Varden once they had given the dragon eggs to Ajihad. They had adjacent rooms with windows looking out on the Hadarac Desert. Therefore, Urania was the first to spot the Silicomobile as it rocketed steadily closer.
She dashed out the door and grabbed a nearby dwarf by the shoulders. “Listen,” she said, shaking him so hard his armor rattled, “Tell Ajihad that a glass vehicle is approaching us. It must be welcomed and brought in here immediately. The people aboard it are friends.”
“V-very good, madam Muse,” stuttered the confused dwarf before rushing off.
(Was Murtagh’s dragon in Eldest male or female? I need to know for this.)
****
Chad was trying to recall the password when a massive gate opened up in the side of the mountain.
“Simplifies things,” he thought, before driving the Silicomobile directly into a huge gallery.
Below, on the marble floor, a long, winding line of people stretched toward a table, which bore two eggs, one red and one green. As each person passed the table, they touched each egg in turn, but received no response. Several of them looked up in awe at the descending Silicomobile. A few panicked, but Chad spotted a blond-haired woman rushing to and fro and calming them down. She looked up and waved.
“Urania got out all right,” Chad yelled into the passengers’ quarters, which was now relatively stable and no longer smoky. “And it looks like Crraw’s down there too.”
As the Silicomobile landed, one of the eggs cracked. The person who had touched it, a dark-skinned young woman, stepped back, but then cautiously came forward and stroked the emerging hatchling’s ridged scales. There was a brilliant flash of light, and the gedwey ignasia appeared on her palm.
“That’s Nasuada,” Urania said. “Ajihad’s daughter.” She grinned. “One down, one to go.”
Chad, Solembum, Bo and Brom stepped out of the Silicomobile, followed more slowly by Angela and Feather. The witch and the Muse of Plants were carrying a steaming, bubbling cauldron.
“You did it!” Brom exclaimed.
“Yeah,” Feather gasped. “It’ll work if we don’t drop it here.”
“The red egg hasn’t hatched,” Bo observed, “but everybody has touched it. Even the dwarfs.”
“Everybody?” Urania asked.
“Well, not quite,” Nasuada replied, looking down wonderingly at the silvery mark on her hand. “There’s a prisoner who turned up here a while ago. He wouldn’t let the Twins into his mind. Should we try him?”
“Yes. Absolutely,” Urania said.
Thorn’s male. Got to remember that.
I still come here. But no, I haven’t any suggestions, sorry.
I think I’ll take a break from this particular fanfiction and start work on another.
Muse: Ωmega
The year is 2027. The place is Earth. The Muses are dead.
Not literally dead, of course. But they might as well have never existed. The Muse offices have been demolished to make way for a mall. Kokonino County is buried under twenty feet of concrete and steel. And what happened to the Muses themselves? The official press release said that they were reindoctrinated (translation: brainwashed) and now live happy lives in the New Order. Everybody believes it, but the fact is that it’s not true.
Now humanity faces a grimmer future. Every major corporation on the planet has consolidated into a single united business- Megacorp. Shortly after the union, the CEO of Megacorp bought the entire Northern Hemisphere. The economy of the Southern Hemisphere collapsed and returned almost to the Dark Ages. Mankind looks to the future with little hope.
But recently, reports have come to the CEO’s attention of a mysterious figure known as Petroglyph. Leading a group of malcontents, he makes seemingly disconnected and random assaults on the stability of Megacorp. His real plan, however, is still known only as a rumor- a rumor of Omega.
Grand Protectress Mimi sighed and shook her head. She had tried to help the Broken Lands, the places once known as the southern tips of Africa and South America, but they were either too fearful or too obstinate to join her. The Areon Corps’ leader would be unable to protect them, anyway. She had said so herself. Only Terra Australis and the Guinea Gardens were within the footprint of the Areon reflector satellites. But still…
Mimi’s musings were interrupted by a young boy dashing up to her desk. “G’day, Protectress. Telegram from the Gardeners.”
Mimi smiled. “Thank you, Weatherby.” She opened the envelope.
FROM: HARMONOPOLIS, GUINEA GARDENSTO: NEW SYDNEY, TERRA AUSTRALIS
GREETINGS PROTECTRESS STOP WE HAVE RECEIVED PUZZLING NEWS STOP A MEGACORP PURSUIT HYDROPLANE WAS DETECTED IN OUR WATERS AND INCAPACITATED BY THE AREON CORPS STOP IT WAS CHASING A MAN WHO LATER WAS FOUND ON THE BEACH STOP HE WAS FEVERISH AND DELIRIOUS STOP WE BROUGHT HIM INTO THE HOSPITAL BUT AS SOON AS HE WAS BETTER HE VANISHED WITHOUT A TRACE STOP THE PUZZLING THING IS THAT WHILE HE WAS DELIRIOUS HE KEPT MUTTERING "OMEGA" STOP JUST THOUGHT YOU WOULD LIKE TO KNOW STOP FROM YOUR HIGH GARDENERS END
PWT*******
FEATHER***
*waits for more*
I will start that Muse Phantom Menace fanfic.
Even Chad didn’t know what he had built. He had started putting electronics together randomly to see what happened, and he got what looked like a cross between a toaster oven, a TV, a vacuum cleaner, a VCR, and a movie camera. The Muses crowded together.
“It probably won’t do anything, Chad,” said Kokopelli. “If you put electronics together randomly, how can you get anything?”
“Aeiou says, why don’t we put a tape in the VCR?” put in Craww. “Something might happen.”
“Worth a shot,” replied Chad, and put The Phantom Menace in.
The screen turned on, and the first episode of the Star Wars saga started playing.
Kokopelli snickered. “See? It’s just a TV and VCR!”
“Wait,” said Chad, holding up one hand. “This blue button is flashing,” and he pressed the flashing blue button.
There was a flash of bright blue light that temporarily blinded the Muses. When it subsided, the Muses were in a large starship, and a silver, humanoid robot was walking toward two figures in brown robes, with tan [I’m not sure what you call those things Jedi wear under the brown robes. If someone supplies the right word, I will use it in future.] under the robes. One had a beard, the other had two pigtails in his hair, and they wore weapons in their belts. The Muses quickly recognized the three as the Trade Fedaration Viceroy’s droid, TC-14, and the two Jedi, Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi.
I shall start a MuseBlog fanfic of my own.
Note: All persons in this story are controlled by me. The actual MuseBloggers are not held responsible for what they say or do in this fanfiction.
~~~~~~~
The news was startling. Startling and horrific. The MuseBlog was going to be shut down.
The post said:
FAREWELL, BRAVE BLOG
Posted on December 1st, 2009
The MuseBlog is shutting down. We are as sorry as the rest of you, but there is nothing we can do.
Comments:
1. E2MB ?|? December 1st, 2009 10:38
But WHY????? 
2. Alice ?|? December 1st, 2009, 10: 50
Why?
NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
3. Alice ?|? December 1st, 2009 10:51
It’s 2012, isn’t it?
~~~~~~~~~
More to come, and not all written in blog comments. I don’t think. Yet.
134- Tan tunics.
“Atten-hut!” blared the Areon officer. Every member of the Areon Corps stopped what they were doing and snapped to attention.
Prime Areon Urania strode into the room. She had long ago discarded her impractical toga, out of necessity, and was now wearing a tight-fitting purple and gray suit. Her blond hair was cropped short above her shoulders. But she still held a telescope in her hand, and a blue globe still rolled behind her.
She put the telescope up to her eye and looked around. In the view from the lens, above each Areon was a computer-generated tag that showed their name and rank. By blinking three times, she could open the file of any Areon she was looking at, and find out everything that the Corps knew about them. Her globe was also a massive repository of information and a holographic projector.
She’d been given these when she’d set up the Corps as a favor to her friend, Protectress Mimi. The Terra Australis Protectorate would have been overrun by Megacorp long ago without the stellar reflector satellites, controlled from this abandoned Mars base, that fired concentrated bursts of light and heat at any Megacorp warships that entered TAP waters.
The globe and telescope had been gifts from a mysterious person known as Petroglyph. He’d left a few files behind in the globe’s repository, but Urania couldn’t make head or tail of them. All she knew was that they mentioned something very important and imminent- something called Omega.
136-Thanks. Tunics… yeha, right word.
~~~~~~~
After introductions, convincing the Jedi that they weren’t Trade Federation spies, and telling their (short) story, the Muses waited for the Jedi to speak.
TC-14 resumed the [I can’t think of the right word] she had been making- “My master will be with you shortly.”
After she left, Qui-Gon broke the silence. “So, why are you here?”
“All I did was build something, and I pressed a blue button, and all of a sudden we’re here,” was Chad’s reply.
(Back to Muse/Eragon.)
Nasuada whispered something to a nearby dwarf. About five minutes later, a dark-haired young man, his wrists shackled, was led into the room.
“I keep telling you, these aren’t necessary,” he said, tugging at the chains. “If I’d wanted to do some damage, I would have told the Urgals your password and led them straight to your door.”
“The Twins-” the dwarf began, but Nasuada cut him off. “Are catatonic. They have no authority here. Let him go.”
Grumbling, the guard unlocked the shackles.
The man strode forward and stroked the ruby surface of the remaining egg.
Kiki_the_great’s idea of Murtagh and the Muses joining forces will work out well.
142. Kiki the Great ?|? December 4th, 2009 12:02 am
We should organize one more kokonvention before the blog closes down. (:cry:)
The kokonvention.
The MuseBloggers – well, former MuseBloggers – sat around a table in a Chicago cafe, eating ice cream.
“I still think it was 2012,” declared Alice, digging into her ice cream.
“2012 is in two years, Alice,” said E2MB.
“So? It’s the end of the world as we know it. Maybe time goes faster at the end of the world. Maybe it’s 2012 already.”
In my fanfic, everyone is, like, 15. Or older. Except for Koko du Pelle, Hedgehogboy, and Lord Ragevuire, who are all in the 9-10 category now (except Koko du Pelle is almost 11) and therefore will be in the 12-13 category in 2009. And Kiki, who will be 14. but all the 15-year-olds (and there are a lot of them) will be about 18 or 19.
We’re OLD! (I myself will be 16.)
~~~~~
Somehow this spurred E2MB, Prarilius Canix, and Alice, along with several Musers* into a long conversation about time travel and time in general, which was ended abruptly when Alice asked, “Remember that RRR?” She was referring to RRR v. 2007.7, which had been about time travel, but it stopped the debate, while everyone thought about MuseBlog and it’s untimely end.
~~~~~
*If you want to be included, say so. I don’t know who else likes to speculate on time travel, and I’m not even really sure PC does.
I wanna be in it! Wait… I’m also in PC’s Omega fanfic. But in Alice’s it is only 2009, whereas in PC’s the MBers in Omega are adults. So they will both work.
144- Don’t worry, you will be…
more muse LOTR!
“But Kokopelli-” Bo started. “Don’t you think I’ve got a PLAN?” said Kokopelli. “GANDALF and FRODO and ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE ELSE couldn’t figure that out! I’m a spy, a spy, do you hear me? I’m finding out Saur- I mean, the Enemy’s plans!” “Okay…” Bo whined.”C’mon, we’ve got to get you out of here,” said Kokopelli, suddenly sounding concerned.
can kokopelli be trusted? and what’s going on with our other 16 heroes? stay tuned! and feel free to submit any comments.
to keep you updated…
The Eighteen of the company of the Ring hurried along the path in Moria. Gimli cried out when he saw Balin’s tomb in the chamber of Mazribul. Suddenly, they heard the drums. “They are coming,” said Legolas. “We cannot get out!” cried Gimli. Bo blocked the door with her(you win, Prarilius Canix and Koko du Pelle) hoof and said, “Up the stairs! Hurry!” As they ran away, Frodo suddenly thought, “Where’s Kokopelli?” Bo was about to find out. With one swing from an orc’s mace, the door splintered and she was caught in an instant. Something suddenly caught her eye. Kokopelli was among the orcs! “You betrayed us!” she yelled, as the orcs, debating over wether to butcher Bo for meat or to use her for milk, carried her off into the distance.
Kokopelli, of course, had not betrayed them, but had simply done things his own way, as you see in Attack of the Smart Pies. He was actually carrying Bo to a place where they could talk safely.
“But Kokopelli-” Bo started. “Don’t you think I’ve got a PLAN?” said Kokopelli. “GANDALF and FRODO and ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE ELSE couldn’t figure that out! I’m a spy, a spy, do you hear me? I’m finding out Saur- I mean, the Enemy’s plans!” “Okay…” Bo whined.”C’mon, we’ve got to get you out of here,” said Kokopelli, suddenly sounding concerned.
I have an idea for a story involving the muses: They go on a vacation to a castle in scotland on earth and live there for a month or so and in the middle there’s this whole mystery about a giant sheep… I’m not really sure how that’ll work out yet
I have writer’s block. Bleh.
*sob* Nobody is posting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARRGGGHHHH!!!!
150-They are all on MuseBlog fanfiction…
i REALLY think museblog fanfiction is DUMB
I wouldn’t mind being included if you want my too. I like readin these fanfics, PC’s was funny. The Eragon one. Much, much better than the origanal.
(Back to Muse Omega.)
Chad shifted wearily. CRRAW4 and CRRAW5 perched on his shoulders, cyber-eyes scanning the crowd. From his position at the shoulder of the Megacorp CEO (currently well into a three-hour speech), Chad could see nothing of interest. When the original Crraw had still been alive, his antics had kept Chad occupied through the long days of tedium. But apart from monotone status reports, the CRRAW clones were silent.
Chad glanced across at his wife, Aeiou. A sort of distance had come between them in recent years. It was partly caused by the strange dreams Chad had been having, and the thoughts that came with them. He was assailed with doubt constantly, and couldn’t even confide in his family.
Aeiou and I develop technology for the greater glory of Megacorp. That is how it has always been, he assured himself.
But he couldn’t shake the memories of a strange, flickering, dark figure that danced through the deep recesses of his brain, whispering “Omega. Omega. Omega.”
Someone in the crowd screamed. The CRRAWS- all six- went on Yellow Alert. Rapidly scanning the area, they detected nothing.
A man dropped out of the sky.
His backpack was equipped with rotating, pliable silver wings, with wires connecting them to electrodes at the base of his skull. Chad felt a flash of recognition. He had designed those wings. But why couldn’t he remember where or when?
Or why?
The man pulled out a gun with an unusually wide snout. It fired a clingy blob of rubbery liquid which wrapped itself around the CEO’s head. Memories sparked in Chad’s brain. Strange whispers assailed his consciousness.
“…submarine launching stations…”
“…ultra-intelligent…”
“…secret Phase Ten…”
The man lifted away from the crowd, the CEO following unwillingly, attached to a ten-foot string of goo.
The CRRAWs flew after him. They formed an attack wedge, rockets projecting from under their tails.
They spoke in unison.
“TASER-BEAK MODE OPERATIONAL.”
The man tried to evade them, but they struck him like a swarm of flies. He jerked wildly, electricity coursing through him, then dropped.
Chad bent over him. There was an emblem on his uniform, one that was strangely familiar.
“You’ll never stop Omega,” the man gasped. “You’ll never stop…” Then he passed out.
Ignoring the smothering CEO, the wailing sirens, the panicked crowd, and the militant CRRAWs, Chad reached into the man’s breast pocket.
There was a card inside, made from some flexible, golden metal. Letters were embossed on it in fluorescent blue.
OMEGAoperative
113096345
koko du puelle
~~~
Bo chewed her cud in the darkness of the Thought Correction Facility. She had been thrown in here a year ago for starting a mental rights movement. Finding undue resistance to the brainwashing techniques, the Correctors gave up in disgust and flung her into the Chamber of Reflection. She’d been there ever since, and probably would be for the rest of her life.
She knew her future, but not her past. She’d always assumed she was a product of a genetic engineering project gone wrong. What other explanation would there be for a sentient cow?
The door opened- a rare occurrence- and a man was hurled in. Gasping, he pulled his way through the jostling crowd of inmates until he inadvertently put a hand on Bo’s side.
“A cow?” he said, surprised.
The fact that he could identify an animal just by touch and odor, in absolute darkness, startled Bo. Perhaps he was part of some elite resistance movement. That encouraged her. So humanity hadn’t become a race of brainwashed sheep.
Of course, he could have been a defecting Megacorp operative. But the fact that one would defect at all was just as encouraging.
“Yes, I am,” she said. “Why?”
The man gasped. “It can’t be. Bo??”
“That’s my name. How did you know?”
The man was laughing. “Oh, man. This is great. Petroglyph will be so pleased.”
“Who’s Petroglyph?”
The man pulled out a sheet of luminous paper. “I’m Koko Du Puelle. Read this. It’ll explain everything.”
“Hey, you!” one of the inmates shouted. “No lights! I’ll report-”
Du Puelle moved off. There was a loud thump, a strangled grunt, and the silence of a dozen people trying not to attract the attention of someone very dangerous.
Du Puelle moved back into the light, wiping some perspiration off his forehead. “I’ve taken care of it. Nobody will bother us now. Unless they’re very stupid.”
Bo was impressed. She began reading. On the first page was a single word, black against the glowing white pamphlet.
Omega.
The letters on the card are the only part supposed to be in “code.” My mistake.
[Fixed it. Correctly, I hope. –ReB]
Ooh, cool!
It’s Du Pelle, though, not Du Puelle.
All my fanfics died. Maybe I’ll start my MB fanfic over.
Alice, may I have a description of your appearance? I’ll need it for this. And if KDP could also describe himself, that would be great.
159- Okay. I have long, very straight, brown hair and grey-blue eyes, and I am smallish. I have medium skin and pierced ears.
159-I have rather short, straight, blond hair, green eyes, and light skin. I also have glasses. My mom thinks I look like Harry Potter, but the resembalance only contains the glasses. Oh, and Alice, it’s not Du Pelle OR Du Puelle. It’s du Pelle. The du is not capitalized.
161- My mistake. I seem to recall seeing it spelled du Puelle somewhere, but my memory isn’t very reliable.
I need to think of a fanfic of my own. But I’m just not inspired.
I’m going to start over my old fanfic. People who will be in it:
Koko du Pelle
Jadestone
Me
If anyone else wants to be part of it, I would appreciate that!
164- Me, please. I have blond hair, gray-blue eyes, and I’m thin and tall. Light skin and large ears.
You sound like an Elf!
166- Except my ears are rounded.
(167) Elves’ ears were pointy only in the “Lord of the Rings” movies. The books said nothing about their ears.
You’re right. Then where did that misconception come from?
69-the cokie companys.
170- Uh… right. *totally confused*
The wind blew strong outside of the looming gray building, but it did not bother the small huddle of young people outside it. They had bigger things to worry about than a bit of wind. MuseBlog, their one connection to each other across countries and even seas, had suddenly and without warning been shut down. Through a good deal of frustration and considerable online stalking skills, they had managed to organize one more kokonvention. And here they were, Jadestone, Prarilius Canix, Koko du Pelle, and Alice. But where was everyone else?
~~~~~
Hint hint. I need more people.
172-o.k.
Alice strode down the corridor, harsh strips of light illuminating her. At intervals of ten feet, she passed by thick steel doors with complex keypads locking them. She ignored them all.
Alice was not tall, but not uncommonly short. Her hair, straight and brown, was pulled back with an unadorned steel clasp. The rest of her clothing was equally plain: shirt, long pants, boots, all black. The only decorative portion of her costume were two unobtrusive earrings in the shape of a certain Greek letter, made from turquoise and silver.
She reached the end of the corridor. A door, twice as thick as the others and made from titanium alloy, barred her way.
Alice stepped forward onto a metal plate set in the floor. A steel arm slid down from a recess in the ceiling. When it had reached her eye level, Alice stepped off the plate.
At the end of the arm was a keypad. Alice entered an 18-digit code.
The keypad’s buttons retracted, and the pad itself slid upward into a slot in the arm. Behind it was a surface of smooth gel, lit by a red fluorescent bulb.
Alice pressed her hand into it.
The bulb turned green, and Alice removed her hand. The system had read her hand print correctly. Now for the next stage.
The gel drained away, revealing a small microphone. Alice spoke, enunciating clearly.
“Alice, Tertiary Commanding Officer.”
The microphone retracted, and a laser scanner slid out. Alice opened her right eye wide and held her lids apart. She knew any movement would result in misidentification.
The scanner analyzed her iris, and the doors slid open.
A lattice of laser beams, three inches apart, spanned the doorway. They were at lowest power. Alice entered the room. As the beams were broken, a warning light flicked red. This device prevented more than one person from entering the anteroom at a time. If the beams were broken again, they would turn to full power and bisect whatever was unlucky enough to be entering the room.
A quick x-ray, magnetic and infrared scan made sure she wasn’t carrying weapons or surveillance devices.
“REMOVE EARRINGS,” a synthesized voice blared, and a tray slid out of the wall.
Alice took them out and placed them on the tray. They could have been concealing bugs. Sometimes she thought Petroglyph was a little too paranoid. Of course, Canix had helped to design the security system.
Poor Canix. He had been cautious all his life, but it had only taken one mistake to finish him.
The final set of doors slid open, and Alice walked in.
You’re dead? My condolences.
TMFA- What do you look like, and how old are you?
Alice hunched her shoulders against the cold wind. “Jeez,” she muttered. “Whoever suggested we meet outside obviously lives in Australia.”
There was a murmur of agreement all around, and Koko du Pelle voiced the thing that all four were thinking:
“Where are they?”
“If they don’t come in the next fifteen minutes I’m going inside,” said Canix, checking his watch.
“Agreed,” Jadestone said.
Alice pulled a list out of her pocket.
~~~~
Okay, so I can’t go any further because the list is everyone who’s coming, and only TMFA has volunteered to be in the fanfic.
Okay, PC, you have me, you, TMFA, and Alice in your fanfic?
179- You and Alice. I’m just mentioned.
177-flight and 14 in 2009
180-sorry your post wasn’t there.add me!
181- I’m not sure what you mean by “flight.”
A bright light flicked on, shining directly into Alice’s face and forcing her to squint. Petroglyph didn’t see very well in dim light anymore. Also, he didn’t want anyone getting a good view of him. His identity remained secret.
For now, at least. Alice had a hunch, but she thought it was ridiculous. Still… All the other ones had turned up, hadn’t they? Why not him?
“Where’s Canix?” Petroglyph snapped. “He was to report to me alone.”
“Canix is dead. His last words weren’t even words. They were numbers.”
“What numbers?”
They were burned into Alice’s mind. It was easy to call them up and recite them. “121181825715149311.”
Petroglyph gasped. “He got it! He got- ” Petroglyph broke into a coughing fit. There was the sound of water noisily being gulped, and a pencil scratching on paper. “121181825715149311. Yes. That’s it.”
“What is going on?” Alice asked sharply.
“You’re promoted to Secondary Commanding Officer. It’s time you knew the top-secret portion of the project.”
“But the project is top-secret already.”
“So much the better. Even fewer people know about this.” He explained.
Alice gasped. “That’s madness! They’re not real!”
“That’s what they said about the Muses, isn’t it?”
“This is totally different! These things will never be real!”
“They will be after The man for aeiou completes his mission. Which reminds me- send him to me. And initiate Phase Gamma.”
“Man the launching stations? Will there be time to set up- you know?”
“Yes. When it’s in place, I will give the signal.”
“What’s the signal?” Alice asked, for the sake of protocol. She already knew.
“Omega.”
TMFA’s head was buried in the wiring system of a launching pod when the message came over the intercom. “THE MAN FOR AEIOU TO REPORT TO COM-ROOM IMMEDIATELY.” TMFA dropped out of the dark, metallic innards of the pod, landed lightly on his feet, and sped through the crowds of workers to the communications center.
Spinning around, he stopped in front of a thick door, keyed in a 9-digit code, and walked in. The room was full of operatives in holographic booths. TMFA chose one and stepped in.
“The Man for Aeiou, Eighth Level Operative,” he said slowly and clearly.
The holo-pad lit up, but it only showed a fuzz of static. Petroglyph didn’t like being seen. His voice, however, resounded through the booth. “TMFA. TRANSMIT CODE 121181825715149311 TO MEGACORP ORBITAL GENETICS RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT SYSTEM.”
“Transmit code 121181825715149311 to MOGRADS,” TMFA repeated, committing the long string of numbers to memory.
“THEN BEGIN OPERATION CAERBANNOG.”
TMFA swallowed, then saluted. “Yes, sir!”
THREE MONTHS LATER
Koko du Pelle reached into his bowl of slimy nutrition paste and pulled out a small, luminous vial. A grin spread over his features, almost concealed by the messy beard that had grown over the past few months. Bo, watching over his shoulders, looked on with interest. “What’s that?” she asked.
“I have a contact in the cafeteria,” Pelle whispered. “He slipped this in. It’s filled with hydrochloric acid. Come on over to the ventilation grille- I’ll need you to stand in front of me and block the guards’ view.”
The Omega operative walked over, the crowd parting before him. Bo turned sideways, effectively obstructing the view of the grille. Pelle bent down and poured a small drop on each corner of the steel plate. He was in luck. With a hiss, the corrosive fluid burnt through the metal, and the grille fell to the floor. Pelle caught it to prevent the noisy clang from alerting the guards. Then he wriggled into the duct, and Bo laid down beside the opening, sealing it off from the Room of Reflection.
This thread needs more people on it. Can we have a new one?
187-A new thread with only 188 posts? No way! That would make this the shortest thread in MB history! I think…
188- You haven’t been around very long. The last Muse Fanfic thread was only 82 posts.
But you have a point. I’m still visiting regularly, so this one can fend for itself.
Koko du Pelle crept through the darkness of the ventilation duct, the empty vial lighting his way. He had to get out and free Bo and the rest of the dissenters. That is, if Petroglyph would agree. He’d gotten too caught up in “the greater good” to know what was going on above his head. People were starving and penniless under the Megacorp regime, and nobody cared.
If there was one thing that du Pelle had learned during his imprisonment, it was that Omega was just as bad as Megacorp. There were other captured operatives in there, slated to be executed, and Petroglyph couldn’t be troubled to help them. Well, now that he’d found Bo, Petroglyph would have to listen to him. The leader of Omega wouldn’t risk leaving a Muse to rot in the Thought Correction Facility.
ooh can i be in the story
191- What do you look like, and how old are you?
I really enjoyed reading them, PC. The Omega one is really cool. Could I be included?
Brown eyes, long brown hair, slightly tanned skin,about 5’3,5’4. 15.
Sorry. I think I need to concoct a GOOD PLOT, one that can keep my inspired.
193- Sure. I just need to think of a scene for you to be in.
Oh! How about you and TMFA cooperating on Operation Caerbannog?
Koko du Pelle exited the air vent on the roof of the Thought Correction Facility, interrupting the photon stream of a hologram saying “THE CEO IS ALL POWERFUL AND GREAT.” Curious, the operative moved over to the projector and began tinkering with it. He’d removed most of the letters from the message when a passerby spotted him. The man yelled in alarm, but du Pelle was already away over the rooftops, leaving a hologram proclaiming that “THE CEO IS F A T” in his wake.
“Never mind,” said Koko du Pelle hurriedly. “Let’s go in now, why don’t we? We can wait inside.”
“Just a little longer,” said Alice. “They said they would come here, so we ought to wait for them.”
“But I’m cold!”
“You can go in, then. I’m staying here.” Alice absentmindedly pushed the paper into the pocket of her coat.
Having accomplished his task, Koko du Pelle pulled his coat tighter and turned his back to the wind.
At that moment, a teenage boy fell unconscious out of a tree in a park halfway across town. A few minutes later, Jadestone, Canix, du Pelle, and Alice went inside.
~~~~~
The Man For Aeiou regained consciousness in a hospital bed. “The kokonvention,” he murmured. “They have to know. Tell them.” Then he slipped back into darkness.
“He’s babbling,” stated one of the nurses who stood by his bed.
“He’ll be better by tomorrow,” said the other nurse. “Just a bump on the head. He ought to know better than to climb trees after a freeze.”
“It was odd though. Do you know what a kokonvention is?”
“No idea.”
“Hmm. Well, never mind. Probably just a nonsense word.”
~~~~~
It wasn’t, though. It was of the utmost importance what TMFA had to say, and no one knew it.
Well, almost no one.
“Well,” said Alice, sitting down at the little cafe table, “this could be better. It’s hard to have a conference when you only have four people.”
Jadestone nodded. “No kidding.”
There was a pause.
“I’ve been thinking,” said Jadestone. “Since the blog shut down–why don’t we start a new one? It won’t be the same, but we could use the blog format, and–” She said no more.
“Yeah!” said du Pelle with more enthusiasm than anyone there. “I’ve always wanted to be a moderator!”
No one could admit that they hadn’t.
“It’s hard to see any of us moderating, though,” said Prarilius Canix. “It’s hard to see anyone but the GAPAs moderating.”
“But we could try!” Koko du Pelle urged.
The park was almost empty, but not quite. A lone figure stood on the grass. It was impossible to see the face under the bundle of scarves, but its arms and legs looked distinctly stick-like.
The figure gave a sharp whistle, and seven other figures, bundled to the point of waddling, stepped out from among the trees. A crow flapped lazily down to light on the shoulder of one of them. The first figure, which was wearing an orange plaid scarf, said, “Come. We must hunt them down.”
There was an especially cold blast of wind, the last of autumn’s dead leaves crumbled to dust, and the figures were gone.
~~~~~
“We have got to do something about this,” said Mimi. “They’re getting out of hand.”
“Who do they think they are?” asked Urania. “This is unacceptable! They’re wreaking havoc–and they look like us!”
Even Kokopelli was indignant, although for different reasons than the others. “I don’t believe it!” he said furiously. “I don’t believe they’re doing this without me!”
TMFA jogged towards the rocket, equipment jangling on his belt. Jadestone was already waiting for him. “Hurry! Liftoff in three!” she said.
TMFA strapped himself into the cockpit.
The bubble canopy of industrial diamond slid over their heads, and TMFA’s ears popped as it pressurized. Then a slow rumble from below heralded the firing of the Bamako-Ulaanbaatar nitrogen tetroxide engines. A jet of white flame roared out from the exhaust, and TMFA and Jadestone were slammed back into their seats, bodies crying out against the pressure. It felt as though an elephant had stepped on their chests. The rattling was even worse than the weight. TMFA thought his bones would be shaken to pieces and crushed.
Then it all stopped, and they were floating free in their harnesses. Jadestone, experienced in zero-g, with five successful extra-atmospheric missions under her belt, unbuckled and pushed off, coming to a gentle stop at the lever that controlled the explosive bolts. TMFA, however, had never been out of the ionosphere before, and was a little clumsy at first, bouncing off bulkheads and zooming across the cabin like a demented chimp. But he soon got the hang of it, and when he was floating gracefully around like an old hand, Jadestone pulled the lever that disconnected the souped-up Space Maneuvering Module from the massive rocket.
If anyone needs a new character, Beavo the Online Stalker would be glad to join a story.
With small jets of pressurized nitrogen, the SMM hissed off across the void and into a field of debris. Megacorp had gone through an enormous expansion into space ten years ago, which the present CEO had cut off, leaving deserted bases on the Moon and Mars and billions of defunct satellites, space stations and rocket boosters orbiting Earth. The hunks of twisted metal had gathered into a rough ring, encircling the scarred and beleaguered planet below, and a few of the largest fragments had even collected into three tiny moons. These semi-natural satellites were given the affectionate names “Hunk,” “Junk” and “Lunk” by spacefarers.
Poor Earth, TMFA thought, staring out the observation port. The northern hemisphere was all silver and black. When nutrition paste factories had replaced the enormous agriculture industry, the grain fields and pastures had been covered by unchecked urban sprawl. Soon, cities had spread, merged, and swamped entire continents. The sluggish, poisoned seas reflected the dirty, polluted skies above. Even the polar ice cap had shrunk to a tiny white blot.
The southern hemisphere was in slightly better shape. Swarms of microscopic robots hovered around the equator, frantically breaking down the toxic chemicals in the air and water. TMFA had often wondered how the Terra Australis Protectorate got all of this technology. They probably used Petroglyph as a middleman. Most non-Megacorp businesses did, which explained how Project Omega got all of its resources.
The system was far from perfect, and much of the pollution spilled over, but farther south the water became a stunning tropical blue. The Protectorate was a barren red continent, once known as Australia. Only large fields broke up the monotony- nutrition paste was not accepted there. To the north were the Guinea Gardens, a massive rainforest all throughout New Guinea and southern Indonesia, the only area in the world with any biodiversity to speak of, and under the rule of the Protectorate. The Broken Lands, southern Africa and South America, were out of view, but TMFA knew that they had collapsed back to the Dark Ages with the advent of Megacorp.
And there, ahead, was MOGRADS. A titanium module connected to several other high-security institutions- a prison for irredeemable criminals, a weapons manufacturing plant, a surveillance station- it was the center of all Megacorp’s genetic research. And it was vital to Operation Caerbannog.
A bolt of red light ripped through the shadowy debris, and Jadestone swore. Most of the diatribe was directed at Prarilius Canix.
“That idiot!” she fumed. “He didn’t say the guards had solid-state lasers!”
“He got us the programming code, didn’t he?” TMFA said. He hadn’t known PC very well, but he didn’t like hearing the memory of a dead operative besmirched.
“We’ll see if that’s true when we get there,” Jadestone snapped, weaving around Lunk.
“You’re still sore that he won the Pie War, aren’t you?” TMFA asked.
“For your information, he didn’t. The JadeOp beat the LOPWAPDU fair and square.” She shoved TMFA towards the control panel. “Drive. I need to work the laser.”
TMFA hurtled through the air and somehow managed to grab the joystick. The SMM slewed wildly around, ricocheting off various pieces of space junk, but TMFA locked his wrists and managed to keep it on course.
A laser beam drilled through one of the few still-usable communications satellites, spraying the vehicle with molten metal. Jadestone gritted her teeth and moved the crosshairs on the screen over the shadowy pursuing shapes behind her. As one of them, the pilot overeager, moved out from under the shade of a booster rocket, the operative fired. A beam of concentrated heat punctured the fuel tank, and, as liquid propellant spilled out into space, Jadestone twisted the controls and pierced the oxygen canisters. Heated fuel and oxygen both exploded outward, fast encasing the ship in a momentary fireball that just as quickly fizzled out. The charred and battered ship kept accelerating, with no friction to stop it, and smashed into another. Both ships plummeted toward Lunk, trailing debris behind them.
Jadestone gnawed her lip. The harsh and pitiless sun cast shadows among the debris fields, making it look like the bottom of some unearthly sea.
Then the remaining ship came out of nowhere, swinging its laser projector around, about to scythe through metal and carbon composite, and add another piece to Earth’s ring of steel and glass.
Suddenly, the SMM jumped wildly, spun, and came to a neat halt in the docking station of MOGRADS. The laser missed altogether. Jadestone looked at TMFA with new respect.
“How did you do that?” she inquired.
“I- I don’t know,” TMFA stammered. “I just saw the blast coming, and- moved.”
“Interesting,” Jadestone said. “I think you’re an IF.”
“A niff? What the heck is a niff?”
“An IF. I. F. Instinctive flier. They’re about one in a hundred.” She grinned. “Good thing, too, considering that this is such an important mission. Despite the fact that Petroglyph won’t tell us what it is.”
“What are we supposed to do again?”
“Disconnect Strut 42 and drag it back down through the atmosphere.”
“That’s where they keep the growth solution vials, isn’t it? Why would Petroglyph want Megacorp’s genetic experiments?”
“Remember the code that Canix got from the fortified military base in Asiopolis?” Jadestone mused.
“Yeah. He died for it. He was a goner when Alice found him. Petroglyph ordered me to transmit the code to MOGRADS.”
“Exactly. Perhaps it was the authorization code for a genetic template.”
“You mean that Petroglyph had a new form of life created here?”
“I’m not saying that I’m certain, but it’s a possibility.” She handed TMFA a stun gun. “Enough talking. Move out.”
I think I see why Canix kills himself off. There are two reasons, actually, but I understand at least one of them and I’m going to do something similar (but not as extreme).
~~~~
“I suppose–” Alice began, but before she could finish her sentence she spilled coffee onto her lap. She tried to mop it up with a napkin, to no avail. “Bother,” she said mildly, and stood up. “I’ll be right back. Wait here.” She picked up her handbag and walked off.
But she was destined never to clean out the coffee stain. it would remain engraved in the denim skirt for as long as the skirt itself lasted. As she approached the restroom, something large and heavy hit her in the head. She fell almost silently to the floor.
The other three MuseBloggers waited patiently, idly discussing the “old days,” but when Alice had been gone for nearly three hours, they began to suspect something was wrong.
“It doesn’t take all that long to get rid of a coffee stain,” said Jadestone.
“No,” agreed Canix.
“Something must have happened,” said Koko du Pelle.
“Like what? The hot-pink bunnies kidnapped her?” joked Jadestone.
“No . . . but someone might have kidnapped her.”
“Who would want to?” reasoned Canix. “This isn’t a fanfiction. It doesn’t make sense.”
“No . . . never mind.”
A pause.
“But something must have happened.”
The conversation turned once more to the many MuseBlog writing projects, and Alice vanished entirely from their minds.
~~~~~~~~
Seemingly random, but I actually have a plot formed in my head. The nurses, TMFA, Jade, Canix, Koko du Pelle, and 18 Muses figure into it. Plus me, but I’m just a hostage and don’t play much of a part.
206- The reason I killed myself off is so that I don’t risk writing myself as a total hero who saves the day again and again. I don’t trust myself not to do that, so I saved the day once and then died. Is that what you were thinking?
TMFA and Jadestone entered the airlock silently, coming into a circular corridor. MOGRADS resembled a spiky titanium donut, with struts radiating away from the central sector. The operatives, drifting gently in zero gravity, moved around the ring until they reached a door marked 42. TMFA pulled back a panel and began entering a complex code into the locking mechanism.
A shuddering boom interrupted them, and MOGRADS listed to one side, nitrogen jets hissing as its computers compensated for the impact. Jadestone sucked in her breath. “They blew up the SMM!”
Sure enough, the ship they had just escaped was docking where their own vehicle once had been, and Megacorp guards were swarming in.
The door swung open, a red light turning green. “Get in there,” Jadestone whispered. “And close the door. I’ll lure the guards past. When they’ve gone by, go out and use their ship to pull strut 42 back into the atmosphere. You know the activation codes, right?”
“Of course. We memorized all the standard ones, remember? Heaven knows where Petroglyph learned about them. But what about you?”
“I’ll manage. Go!”
208- Pretty much. I think that if I left myself in I’d turn out to be the main character. But I don’t want to die, so I just took myself mostly out of the story.
The other reason I came up with was, you needed someone to die, and didn’t feel comfortable killing other people off.
Armored in blue carbon composite suits, cradling bulky SSL guns, the guards rushed in. Jadestone waited until the last moment, then darted out of sight.
One of the guards saw her and charged around the bend. Jadestone fired the stun gun, but the electric charge was conducted away by his suit, and he continued running. Jadestone dove to the floor just as an SSL burst shot over her head, burning a scorched crater in the wall. Alarms began wailing. Jadestone scrambled for a nearby door and desperately entered the code. Halfway through, she heard the buzz of an SSL and felt a searing pain in her arm, but the door was sliding open, and she threw herself through it, coming to rest against a barred titanium door.
A hand reached out between the bars and plucked the gun from her weakening fingers.
Jadestone looked up. Above her, in the cell, stood a woman. Waves of silver hair, flecked with darker color, cascaded over her shoulders. She wore the yellow prison jumpsuit of an irredeemable criminal. But her face was what Jadestone was looking at.
The operative gasped. “YOU!!”
The prisoner deftly switched the gun to SSL and burned through the lock. Then, swinging the barred door open, she put one hand on the lever that sealed the airlock, and with the other, aimed the gun.
TMFA, however, knew nothing of this. All he knew was that as he pulled away from the research facility, with the strut, safely detached and heat-shielded, trailing behind him, MOGRADS exploded.
Three Weeks Later
Jadestone opened her door and collected the mail. Mostly bills; a package containing the latest edition of the MuseBlog signature shirt, two months after she had ordered it; and a small yellow envelope with no return address. This intrigued her.
Absentmindedly leaving the rest of the mail on the table, she wandered into the living room and tore open the envelope.
It read:
We have a hostage.Confused, Jadestone turned it over. There was nothing.
Well, almost nothing. Scrawled in an untidy hand and crossed out was the word:
Don't“Weird,” said Jadestone. “I wonder who it was from.”
Then she tossed the package, unopened, into a drawer and closed it.
~~~~~
“It’s working,” said the figure seated at the desk. He was cloaked in a dark grey veil that obscured his features. “Soon they will have no memory of the days of the impostors.” He cackled evilly.
“What purpose will that serve?” asked another of the figures. “They won’t remember the impostors, but they certainly won’t remember us.”
“That is the beauty of this. When their memories are completely wiped, then they will be replaced with memories of us. It will drastically change their personalities, to be sure, but only for the better.”
“And what are we to do with the hostage?”
“The hostage. I shall deal with her later.”
The hostage, a sixteen-year-old girl wearing a denim skirt with a coffee stain on it shuddered. She could remember nothing of who she was or who her captors were, but she knew this much:
They were up to no good.
Both Prarilius Canix and Koko du Pelle had received messages like the one that Jadestone had found in the mail, but they had taken even less notice of them than Jadestone.
These are cool. I should start one… not sure if I’d ever finish, but it would be fun.
When TMFA arrived back in the docking bay, it was in a state of turmoil. A large ring of people had formed around Alice and Koko du Pelle.
“There are operatives in there. And a Muse. You can’t ignore this,” Pelle said, struggling to keep himself under control.
“I understand your concern, but all our resources must be channeled towards the greater goal of Omega. We simply can’t spare a single operative.”
“You can spare me.”
“Every single mission related to Omega is extremely perilous. We need you and every other person available to replace the active operatives should they fail.”
“I don’t see anyone replacing me.”
“Your mission to capture the CEO was expected to fail. It was only a distraction, to pull their attention away from the numerous transactions our agents are making in the black market. We need materials for the firing satellites.”
Koko du Pelle was silent for a moment, then spoke.
“I was bait.”
Quick as thought, he lashed out and struck Alice on the temple.
She staggered, then stood up straight. All emotion was gone from her face. “You’re demoted to Seventh Level Operative.”
She turned to a security officer beside her. “Escort du Pelle to the cells.”
Eek!
216- I have to put some drama in. Sorry about making Koko du Pelle hit you.
216- It’s okay, I don’t mind. By the time it actually happens I’ll already have reacted. Sort of like the White Queen, if you know what I mean.
I meant 217. Sorry.
218- Is this from Alice in Wonderland?
220- But of course.
I should start one of these. I’ve tried to already, both were not very good. Hmmm…
Du Pelle reacted quickly. His foot connected with the face of the officer, who toppled to the floor. The operative leaped through the resulting gap.
I just had an interesting thought.
What would have happened if the Muses never became Muses?
224- What?
225- Suppose that the people who became the New Muses never became Muses. Chad and Aeiou never invented Intelligent Air.
Pelle raced across the launching bay like his life depended on it and jumped into a nearby hovercraft. The engines started up, propelling it across the smooth floor and towards the exit.
“Seal the doors!” Alice commanded, but Pelle was already gone, shooting out of the concealed base and out in a gentle curve over the small Pacific atoll that hid it.
226- That is an interesting thought.
Gah. My computer’s slow.
Beavo the Online Stalker woke on Monday morning with the feeling that something was missing. He just didn’t know what. He ate his breakfast without tasting it,
Oops. I accidentally hit submit.
~~~~~
and had taken third helpings before he realized that it was his least favorite dish. His mother, of course, was delighted, and Beavo left the house as fast as possible to avoid admitting that he actually hated it, which would lead to awkward questions. It was not until history class that he remembered, and was forced to stifle the urge to jump up screaming “EUREKA!” Instead, he scribbled one word on the back of his hand.
Muse
“The project has failed,” announced the black-clad figure. “There is rebellion in [wherever Beavo lives]. Keep an eye on the boy, and wipe his memory when necessary.”
A few hours later, du Pelle disembarked in a shadowy corner of one of Megacorp’s harbors. He purchased certain items from a nearby black-market trader and moved off through back alleys in the direction of the Thought Correction Facility.
It looked larger than he remembered. The guards were all on the roof, attempting to fix the sign that proclaimed the CEO’s obesity. Pelle allowed himself a faint smile.
Then he pulled out a small metal sphere and hurled it down a side street.
In a few seconds, there was a loud explosion, followed by chunks of concrete raining down on the pavement.
The guards all leaped off the roof and bounded down the street, ignoring Pelle altogether. The operative smiled. Megacorp enforcers were trained to be efficient and deadly, but they had no imagination and could be fooled by the oldest trick in the book.
He walked calmly up to the door and pulled a tangle of metal out of his jacket, placing it on the ground. With a hum, spiky robotic arms popped out of it and sliced into the ground with laser cutters. In a few seconds, a rectangle of cement had been removed.
Pelle placed a large black box in the hole and walked away quickly.
An even louder explosion blew the steel door off its hinges.
230-Yay! I’m in a story! Thanx.
The guards rushed back, pulling out SSL guns. Koko du Pelle picked up the door and used it to block the first few shots, before slamming it into them like a battering ram. They dropped to the concrete, unable to even raise the alarm.
Bo met du Pelle at the door. “I got forty of the best,” she called. “Let’s wreak havoc.”
Du Pelle picked up the unconscious guards’ lasers and distributed them among the crowd. Then he leaped on Bo’s back, and the cow charged down the street and into the main thoroughfare of North Americopolis, with a horde of bellowing prisoners in tow.
Okay, it is time to start a fanfic! Dum dum dum…
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Something very strange was happening on the Museblog. There was only one active thread at a time. The random thread. It was taking longer and longer for posts to be accepted, and more and more posts were being zapped. The GAPAs weren’t posting anymore, other than creating another random thread. There had to be an explanation. But what? That’s what Koko du Pelle aimed to find out.
~~~
“And now, to our North Americopolis correspondent. Long live the CEO!” the reporter droned, and the image on the TV in Petroglyph’s room changed. It showed a blurry video of the intersection of Megacorp Horizontal-Route I and M Vertical-Route CVII. A group of shabby-looking persons in yellow jumpsuits were charging down MHR I, led by a bearded fellow riding a cow. The bearded man stood up on the galloping beast’s back in a superb feat of daring and fired an SSL gun. One of the many flying advertisement billboards of Megacorp’s competing subdivisions blackened and crashed in a trail of smoke. The video ended and switched to a picture of a reporter whose face seemed to be half plastic surgery and the rest computer enhancement. His smile was so glittering and vast, he probably couldn’t have made any other expression without injuring himself.
“42 dangerous prisoners have escaped from the Thought Correction Facility, led by a genetically engineered mental rights activist and the demented assassin who tried to capture our Glorious CEO, may he prosper forever. They have rampaged through half the city of N. Americopolis by now.”
“And what does our Glorious CEO, may he prosper forever, have to say about this?” said the other reporter’s voice offscreen.
“Well, let’s go to the Exalted One right now and find out.”
The screen changed again, showing a picture of the short, fat man who had more power than any other being on Earth.
“There is only one possible culprit for the release of the prisoners,” the man said. “The Terra Australis Protectorate. For years they have been a thorn in our side. I have decided to put a stop to that. We are launching an attack to wipe them off the Earth forever. Long may I prosper!” The screen went dark.
Alice, watching from her chair in front of Petroglyph’s desk, gasped as she realized who the man on the cow was. “That was Koko du Pelle! And he had Bo with him! They’re leading the prisoners, and the Protectorate is being blamed!”
“That traitor!” Petroglyph rasped. “He’s- ” but the leader of Omega got no further, as he broke out in a violent coughing fit.
“Sir?” Alice said concernedly, but the coughing showed no sign of subsiding. “Sir? SIR!”
Then she seized a portable com-link from the wall. “I need a medic in here now!”
226- so the pirsoners were omegas?
Not all of them, but some.
238- ah. thanks.
Ooh. Exciting!
Beavo bent over the vat of cloudy nutrient fluid, examining the body suspended inside it. “I don’t know, ma’am. He’s certainly not human, and with all the cybernetic implants that are keeping him alive- well, I can’t tell what the heck he originally was, much less what he is now. But I’ve been doing my best, and-” the medic examined a bulky screen, hooked up to Petroglyph by an assortment of wires- “I think he’s waking up now.”
Beavo pressed a button, and the fluid drained away. Alice caught a glimpse of a thin, dark body lying on the padded base before the vat’s glass walls polarized and went dark. Beavo knew how much Petroglyph liked his privacy, and was willing to respect that.
“Alice.” The leader’s voice was faint but clear.
“Yes?” Alice leaned closer.
“Go into my room and get something out of my desk. It’s in the third drawer down on the right side. The combination is 1115111516512129.”
“1115111516512129.” Alice repeated it. She’d been memorizing codes like that since she started her training.
She went out of the operating room and down the central corridor of the Omega base, reminiscing about how she’d been recruited, along with all the other MuseBloggers. Fifteen years ago, on the same day that Megacorp bought the entire Northern Hemisphere, the blog kept going as usual. The GAPAs posted some rather withering critiques of Megacorp’s methods, some satirical RRRs were set up, and life went on. Then the blog stopped working. The Internet became monitored strictly, and anybody who criticized Megacorp was locked up. Alice suspected that was what had happened to the GAPAs, and for the first time, she became fearful about the future.
Then one day, the blog began working again- and somehow, the Megacorp Internet Monitors couldn’t access it. The GAPAs had been replaced by a fellow called Petroglyph. Alice remembered that he had dropped a few hints, but nobody knew the full scope of Project Omega until Petroglyph wanted them to. Slowly, a few joined his ranks. Most of the older MBers were adults now, and were free to travel with proper permission. Megacorp began to suspect something as hundreds of people went south from all over the world, and shut down travel completely. But by then Omega was a potent presence in the shady underworld of Megacorp, and illicit border-crossing became a thing of ease.
Alice came to Petroglyph’s door, mechanically went through the security procedure, stepped in, and went to his desk. She entered the code into the specified drawer’s keypad.
Inside the drawer was a small piece of machinery on a soft foam pad. It was about the size and color of a lumpy tangerine. She picked it out and left the room.
~~~
Beavo looked up as Alice entered with the machine under her arm. “Thank goodness! He’s been getting more and more agitated. I was afraid I’d have to sedate him.”
“No need for that, Beavo,” Petroglyph said. “Alice, give me the transmitter. I need to make some calls.”
oo! good!
~~~~
Bzzzzt.
Chad was on board the Megacorp flagship, heading for Terra Australis, when he heard the noise. It was unobtrusive, like a cell phone set on vibrate. But it sent a reeling pulse of shock through his skull. He bent over, gasping as though he’d emerged from freezing water as the memories flowed back.
Desert scenes, like Monument Valley. His wife- but younger, much younger- and why was she wearing that strange magenta suit with a yin-yang on it? And a myriad of other strange figures.
A series of blueprints, changing into scale models, changing into full-blown inventions that had nothing to do with Megacorp. The Imitator I. Deep Cool. The Genomic Tweakulator. The list went on and on.
Another desert scene. Megacorp’s tanks and airships rumbling over the horizon. The other people around him trying to resist. Being pulled into a clean, antiseptic room and strapped to a chair, wires attached to their skulls. Memory-wiping equipment- he’d seen it hundreds of times. He saw the others in the room- eight of them, only eight. There should be nine. Why? How did he know that?
A wash of blue light across his vision. Memories started slipping away. A voice in his mind. “Megacorp is all. Megacorp is great.”
Then an angular, dark figure leaping into the room, ripping out the wires. Guards lying on the ground with pies in their faces. The dark figure bending over him, yelling. “Come on, Chad! Remember!” But the blue light was still coming, memories going-
The visions vanished. Aeiou came into the room, a haunted look in her eyes.
“Did you feel it?” Chad said, but he already knew the answer.
Beside Aeiou was a machine, about the size and color of a lumpy tangerine, hovering on jets of air. As they watched, a hologram formed above it. A blurred image, filled with static. But the voice was perfectly clear.
“Hello, Chad.”
“Who are you?” Chad whispered in awe. “I found that one day- Megacorp confiscated it. For my safety. How did you get it?”
The voice chuckled. “Gullible as ever, Chad. You were always so easy to trick.” Then it turned somber. “Happily married- with two sweet little kids, too.” It sighed. “I wish things had worked out that way for me. Urania and I- ”
“Who is Urania and who are you?” Chad said incredulously.
“You don’t even remember that,” the voice said sadly. “The ‘corpers did their work well. But at least I kept you from being completely brainwashed.” It turned businesslike. “May I speak with your daughter?”
“Look, bud,” Chad said threateningly, “you’re not getting near my kids until you tell me who you are.”
“Intelligent Air can’t hurt anybody, and I, myself, am a thousand miles away. Never mind- there she is now.”
Maisatta was standing in the doorway. Nearly seventeen, her African and Asian heritage had endowed her with a peculiarly unique beauty. But the only expression on her face was shock.
“Gotta go, Dad, Mom. Bye!” She vanished through the door.
cool…
~~~
Bzzzzzt.
Bo looked to the side and saw a machine hovering next to her, keeping pace with the havoc-wreaking crowd. It was about the size and color of a lumpy tangerine. It looked familiar.
“Bo!” it said urgently. “The Terra Australis Protectorate is under attack!” Then it shut off and fell to the ground.
Bo was inclined to be suspicious, but something told her to trust that voice. “The Protectorate is under attack,” she yelled to Koko du Pelle. “We need to get to the air harbor and take an airship.”
Pelle knew who Bo was, and trusted her implicitly. They turned left and raced towards the nearby launching tower.
They took the freight elevator without any problems. The guard took one look at Pelle’s grim face and backed down.
When they reached the top, Bo groaned in disappointment. “The last one’s taking off!”
Sure enough, the ship had disconnected from its docking port. The black envelope slid by with surprising speed.
Pelle, without waiting to explain, leaped over the edge and landed on the tail end of the helium-filled envelope. He ran along the maintenance catwalk on the top and dropped through the hatch. Then he dropped straight down the air-filled tube to the control car, hardly bothering to use the provided ladder.
Bo didn’t see what he did to the soldiers, but he must have gotten control of the control car, because the airship turned back and dropped a ladder to the embarkation platform.
“I still can’t get up,” Bo yelled. “I’m not made for climbing ladders.”
“I’m on it,” Pelle yelled back, and a livestock hoist dropped from a hatch in the bottom of the control car.
Bo got in, and the airship soared off to pursue the faraway line of black dots that was the Megacorp fleet.
~~~
Bzzzt.
Pwt, scratching a liger under the chin, heard it first. A machine like a lumpy tangerine floated out of the New Guinea rainforest. “Terra Australis is under attack. Warn the Protectress,” it said, and then faded back into the jungle.
Twenty minutes later, Pwt and Feather were both standing in front of Mimi. “We have to fight,” Pwt said. “I know you condemn it, and rightly so, but we must defend ourselves.”
Mimi heaved a sigh. “All right,” she said. “Organize your- ahem- breeding projects.”
~~~
Bzzzzt.
Urania didn’t hear it at first in the cacophony of alarm bells. The stellar reflector satellites were working overtime, sending concentrated beams of light and heat down at the Megacorp fleet on Earth. But she did hear it when it repeated itself, louder.
A machine about the size and color of a lumpy tangerine floated through the air. Urania took a breath. Was it a bomb? And how could it have gotten onto this cloaked and abandoned orbital station that was now the secondary base of the Areon Corps?
Then Urania glanced over at her globe. It had split seamlessly in half.
“I managed to hide these Intelligent Air transmitters in places where I could send them to all of you,” a voice said, emanating from the air around the machine. “Yours was particularly difficult, considering you were in space. But I figured out that I could put it in a gift from me to you.”
“You’re Petroglyph?” Urania said. “I can’t talk now. The full Megacorp war fleet is approaching Terra Australis.”
“And I have a way to stop it. Listen. In a few minutes we will launch some- objects- into space. I want you to fire not at them, but at any missiles Megacorp sends to bring them down.”
“Why should I trust you?”
“Urania… ” the voice was anguished. “Please.”
Urania was torn. She had heard that voice before, and while not exactly a friend, it was certainly not that of an enemy. But for the life of her she couldn’t recall who it was.
“Very well,” she said, and began issuing orders.
pc- will you put koko in your story? I what to see what you think he would do!
I should probably start my own Fanfiction soon…
Ha.
As a *cough* general rule, fanfiction amuses me.
*runs away before saying anything inappropriate*
Petroglyph lay back on the pad, his work done. A sigh escaped his unseen lips.
There was a pause, a period of calm.
Then every machine in the room started wailing and beeping. Beavo rushed to Petroglyph’s side, but he could see as soon as he got there that the leader of Omega was dead.
Just a note-I’ll be in my fanfic at first, then I’ll get out of it. Simalir to Alice and PC’s.
A man rushed into the room. “Alice. The Megacorp fleet is almost halfway across the Pacific. What should we do?”
Alice took a deep breath. It was her responsibility. She had to do it, despite her doubts.
“Begin Operation Omega.”
Heh. Megacorp is in ratchet and clank 2.
254- Oh shoot. Any other generic corporation names I could change it to?
255- gigacorp.
256- Good idea.
248- I think Koko is in the story. I’m not going to spoil it for you, but I have my suspicions.
258- You’re perceptive. That’s all I’m going to say.
259- Thank you. It’s not that hard. You’ve dropped hints, and my vocabulary isn’t completely worthless.
260- Yeah, I’ve dropped a lot of hints.
~~~
Plumes of frothy white water exploded out of major oceans all over the world, and metal cones rocketed skyward. Every single Gigacorp defense base came on full alert, but they couldn’t do a thing. If they tried to hack into the projectiles’ computer brains, they were obstructed by firewalls so clever and devilish that they could have sworn they were constructed by Aeiou herself. But that was impossible, because Aeiou was working for Gigacorp.
is it petroglyph?
And as for the physical aspect, any attempts to shoot them down were met by devastating beams of light from the Areon reflector satellites.
The cones shot out from the upper atmosphere, carrying the destiny of the planet with them. Magnetic fields cleared a path through the space debris, and they took up strategic positions in orbit around the world.
With a clunk that would have been barely audible even if there was any atmosphere to carry the sound waves, the cones folded open, becoming enormous frameworks of steel. Along each massive girder were hundreds and hundreds of short, flat, cylindrical objects, frozen to their cores by the everlasting cold of space.
Down in the Omega base, Alice walked quickly to the Situation Room.
“Launching platforms in position,” TMFA reported from his place at a guidance console. He had been selected to guide one of the groups of projectiles to its target on the basis of Jadestone’s report that he was an IF.
Alice strode to the center of the room, the position that Petroglyph would have normally taken. “Fire Salvo I.”
TMFA hit the FIRE button, and a loose grouping of dots appeared on his screen, approaching the flashing blue dot that was the Gigacorp flagship. They began to drift apart. He corrected the course with a few gas jets, shepherding them into a tight delta formation.
“Target locked on,” the computer blared, as did the other guidance computers across the room, firing at different targets. TMFA breathed a sigh of relief. “T-minus 5 seconds to impact. 3. 2. 1…”
~~~
Chad was still staring at the door where his daughter had left when he heard the crash. He rushed up to the observation platform only to see a blazing missile heading for the window at top speed. It broke through the reinforced glass and bashed into the steel wall. Golf balls ricocheted everywhere, and a faint smell of cherry filled the air.
Chad poked his head out of the shattered window to see more missiles crashing down on the flagship. It was beginning to list to one side. Varicolored filling and pie-crust, baked to perfection by the air resistance on the way down from the launching platforms in space, dripped down the black envelope from their smashed titanium containers.
The CEO rushed into the room. He had a sizable lump on his bald head. “We’re getting reports of pies- PIES!- landing all over the northern hemisphere! Our economy is descending into chaos!”
“How accurate are they?” Chad asked.
“Not very- except for the ones that are hitting this ship. It’s almost as though someone’s transmitting our location.”
A guard burst into the platform. “We’ve located the tracking signal. It’s coming from a room aboard this ship.”
“Come on!” The CEO motioned impatiently to Chad. A nameless dread was beginning to fill him, but he followed the guard out of the room.
They rushed down the main corridor, muffled “pofs” sounding all around.
“It’s inside your suite,” a guard reported to Chad. “If you don’t mind… ”
Chad was about to reply, but the CEO interrupted him. “Who cares if he minds? Get in there!”
The first thing he tried was asking the GAPAs. Not that he expected them to answer. He was simply trying to distract them while he launched his real plan. First he tried to persuade his parents to take the family to Chicago. He succeeded after about a week’s wheedling. They finally gave in because his constant wheedling was getting annoying. Once they arrived, he rested up a bit, then took a taxi to the building where Muse was published.
The guard kicked in the door, smashing past a shocked Aeiou and into the inner room.
“Don’t move!” he yelled, pointing his gun at its occupant.
Chad’s breath caught. Maisatta was dictating position codes into a computer speaker inside the room. She was startled when the guards burst in, but kept talking. “86 53 3 41 93 7 52 68 74 13 4… ”
“Get up,” the guard said menacingly.
Maisatta turned around. “No. 65 43 2 7… “
The September issue of Muse in his hand, he took the elevator and found the Muse office. He knocked, and a voice said, “Come in.”
Du Pelle nervously entered, and suddenly a warm object hit his face at high velocity. He licked it. Apple pie. Freshly baked, by the feel of it.
Suddenly an unfamiliar smell filled his nostrils. Everything went black.
Okay, I keep putting off starting a fanfiction. I’m going to start a FIRST SENTANCE (or two, or three, or whatever) so I HAVE to continue. So there.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There are many things in this world that the human race don’t understand. Muses are one of them. As it turnes out, this would prove to be a major dissadvantage.
268- that sounds like hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy.
The guard turned to Chad. “Sir- get your daughter away from that computer.”
The CEO snarled, “To heck with him!” and ripped the cables out of the wall.
~~~
“We’ve lost the signal!” TMFA gasped.
Alice bit her lip. “No,” she muttered. “Continue firing along their projected course. We may get lucky and weaken the fleet so that the Terra Australis Protectorate will be able to deal with the remnant that arrives on their shores.”
268-That was like heavan for Alice, spelling checker heavan.
271- It’s heaven, actually, but I don’t bother checking spelling unless someone mentions it anymore. If I did, I’d never have time to say something original.
TMFA let his instincts take over. In his head, he saw the movement of the blue dot on the screen, and where it would move. His hands whirled over the keys, sending salvo after salvo. More than one of them hit the mark to devastating effect.
How many people would feel comfortable being put in another fanfic? And if you do, please answer this question.
The Muse editor-in-chief has been replaced by someone who is ruthlessly exploiting its characters and ideas. One of the assistant editors has left Muse and set up another magazine which kept the rights to Urania, to Muse Contests and to HPBs. All other Muse trademarks remain with the original Muse.
Would you:
A: Stick with the original out of dogged loyalty and a hope to change it for the better
B: Leave and subscribe to the new one in hopes that it will uphold Muserly ideals better
C: Disgustedly remove self from corporate rat race Muse has become and join a peaceful Muserly paradise in Iceland
274- I would love to be in another fanfic. I like reading other people’s better than writing my own, because mine are rather awful.
My answer is complicated. I would go with A as long as I didn’t know about C. As soon as I learned about option C, I would take it.
275- Got it. I will be writing this one entirely in blog comments.
274- I’d like to be in that fanfic, and I would most likely choose B or C.
277- What do you look like?
Oh, and would anyone willing to risk PoPoing post this message on threads they visit? Thanks.
“Anyone who wishes to appear in a rather epic story, please contact Prarilius Canix on the Muse Fanfiction thread.”
Short, curly, dark brown hair, slightly oval shaped face, brown eyes, usually heavy eyeliner and mascara, usually wearing a skull necklace, Celtic knotwork rings, and a 80’s style digital watch, usually a black t-shirt and jeans, and skater shoes. Is that a good enough description for you?
(279) How about a general announcement? See MB home page.
274-I would either choose B or C, I think. I would like to be in it, if you don’t mind.
274- I would love to be in it. I would choose B, and if that didn’t work, C
274- I’d be honored to be in it- option C.
OMMG PC WHUT!
I sooooo wanna be in that. Can I be one of the assault ninjas who tries to find out what happened to Supah-Editah-Ladeh (a.k.a Romana)???? Pleez? And I would pick A.
I am about 4′ 6″, with short, chin-length red hair. I wear lavender glasses (plastic, not metal, no little pads on the bridge of the nose) and I’m always wearing some assortment of colorful bracelets.
I WANNA BE IN IT!!!!!!!!!! please?
TNO, CMoO, PF, KTS- What do y’all look like?
Announcement. I will begin this fanfic as soon as this thread is continued. After that happens, no more main characters will be added. However, if you want to simply be mentioned in it, ask at any time. Also- you must describe yourself if you want to be a main character. I still haven’t decided whether I’ll write in blog comments or more conventional style.
288- I described myself a while ago, but here it is in more detail.
I have brown hair with quite a bit of gold in it (not highlights), pretty long, generally parted on the side. Blue eyes, stud earrings. My costume varies continuously. And of course I always have a book with me, usually fantasy.
And because I am about to get carried away in a sea of titles, I will hastily hit submit.
Here’s the organized list.
A
Alice
Kiki
B
purplefinch
Cinnamon Moon
C
TNO
Traggle
Updates will come as necessary.
Basic setting:
Two versions of Muse. One called Muse, one called Urania. Both perpetrate Mostly Harmless at the same time.
Now, the Americas, Australia and the Pacific Islands are ruled by Muse, while Urania rules Africa and Eurasia. Muse has replaced Urania with the Muse of Business, a large St. Bernard who carries a briefcase in his mouth. An entire new pantheon of Muses accompany Urania.
Tensions between the two nations come to a head. Short-lived war breaks out before intercontinental ballistic pies are invented. The war goes cold. An uneasy peace is formed.
Disgusted by Muse’s sellout and uncomfortable with the new traditions of Urania, the GAPAs have distanced themselves from both. They now rule a peaceful republic comprising Scandinavia, Iceland and the United Kingdom.
Ooh. I have a good idea for a plot.
274- sure! c.
brown hair, brown eyes, tall.
288-so wait. Did i just miss a chance to be a main character?
293- No. Describe yourself, and you can still be one.
274-I’d go with C. It’s fine with me if you include me, infact, it would be awesome! You want a description? I didn’t see that post, but here goes:
About five two, ear lobe length mad scientist like auburn hair. Dark brown eyes. Very pale skin. About fifteen messages on each hand. Wearing black and green skateboarding shoes with untied laces, semi-baggy jeans that usually drag on the ground and the overly large pockets filled with objects such as homework and rubber bands and such, complete with a black belt and little gold (but really bronze) circles around it. Either a black T-Shirt (on eville feeling days) featuring some picture on it, or a brown and white striped Polo (on bored/tired/preppy feeling days). If it’s cold, wearing a black hoddie with some random logo (I still haven’t figured out what), and usually tends to have little white MP3 ear buds sticking out of ears and into pocket. I might be wearing one of those livestrong wristbands, but only when I’m tired. Pulls out wallet (light brown with a green eagle) often and looks though it for no reason.
Wow, I didn’t know I knew myself that much. I actually don’t wear skulls because my mom took all my Hot Topic clothes (burned them, I expect) and banned me from going in there EVER AGAIN.
But I would if I could. So please include that.
275-Actually, yours was quite good. Maybe I’m just saying that because I’m in it, but still. It was good before I was there.
295- Thank you, Beavo. Maybe I’ll start it up again.
Here’s the organized list.
A
Alice
Kiki
B
purplefinch
Cinnamon Moon
C
TNO
Traggle
TMFA
Beavo
Updates will come as necessary.
Whoa. I just learned that threads are now continued at 400 posts. In that case, maincharacterity is unavailable after the 300th post.
C brown hair, dark plastic glasses, usually dressed in corduroy skirts/pants and sweaters
(298) Actually, there is no set number of posts per thread any more. You might want to leave it open until tomorrow, unless, of course, you’re eager to get started. Looks like you have a good number to work with, in any case.
300- Let’s leave it open till tomorrow at least. I still only have a vague idea of how it’s going to progress.
Main Characters
A
Alice
Kiki
B
purplefinch
Cinnamon Moon
C
TNO
Traggle
TMFA
Beavo
widdershins
This is now a closed list. No more spots are open for main characters. However, anyone who wishes to make an appearance can just ask.
And I’ve got a good opening scene. Inspiration.
One more thing. What year should it be set in? The disappearance of Romana Prokopiw should happen in 2012, obviously. It would take about three years to reach Mostly Harmless. So that would be 2015. The Cold Pie War would begin in 2020. The story should be several years into the CPW. So it will be 2023.
Now to research what technology should be available. *runs off*
Actually, I’m going to change my answer to A. I’m not that peaceful, and I hate the cold. Can I do that this late? *hopes*
No offence (or hints) to anyone, but Traggle and Kiki put together would make my perfect girlfriend. Muser, curly reddish/brown hair, skull necklace, black clothes, colorful bracelets, spunky attitude, but slightly (VERY SLIGHTLY) gothic…. and of course, wacky. All MBers are wacky.
A
Alice
Kiki
Beavo
B
purplefinch
Cinnamon Moon
C
TNO
Traggle
TMFA
Widdershins
Thanx PC
301-NOOOOOOOOOOO! I had to go offline, and missed my chance…oh well…*slinks off to other thread*
I have dark blond hair (with two little frizzies on the side), with blue/grey eyes. I’m 5’5-ish, and a kind of quiet face (sigh), and some freckles. I would probably be wearing jeans, or a skirt, with some kind of shirt (So helpful, I know). Yeah… If you need any more character traits, just ask. Or you can make them up…
303- Shouldn’t have said that, Beavo. Hee hee…
Just kidding. I wouldn’t put any inter-MBer romance into my story without permission from both.
308-Bah. I wouldn’t honestly care as long as we don’t make out. That would be :blush:
I have a basic plot idea and opening scenes that will introduce all of the main characters. Should I start now, or wait for a new thread?
more description: greenish blue eyes is always carrying around a book to read and one to jot things down in. Likes to explore. Straight hair, short ish in length. Usually wearing a pair of boots that button up the side. Likes decorating things with buttons. Enjoys reading, writing and theatre.
(310) You don’t have to wait. A new thread is open for business.