Friday, 26 April 2024
Life, the universe, pies, hot-pink bunnies, world domination, and everything
“Lord of the Pies” Round-Robin ‘Riting — a Muserly parody of “Lord of the Flies,” one of everybody’s least favorite required-reading assignments.
Date: June 3, 2007
Categories: Fiction, poetry, and fanfiction, Nonrandom Craziness
Can i join?
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Introduction:
One day, the Muses were out sailing in the S.S. Pieface. Little did they know that they would not be sailing for much longer, and this not of their own choice…
As Urania stood on the bow of the ship, she pondered the meaning of life. What’s the point?, she thought, Why are we here? We don’t seem to really do anything…we just…exist. Suddenly, a poem recited in a raucous voice interrupted her reverie.
“There’s one thing I just don’t get:
Why some people simply must fret
Over silly and pointless stuff
That I consider to be fluff.
Like the meaning of life and whatnot.
I think it’s a whole bunch of rot,
And why waste your time–”
“CRRAW!!! Would you please be quiet?! I’m trying to think!”
Crraw rolled his eyes. “I am so under-appreciated…”, he complained. Just then, a net came whooshing by him.
“I’ve got you, now!” yelled Pwt, leaping into the air and swinging hizzer net again. Crraw squawked and darted off.
“At last, some peace and quiet…”, Urania breathed to herself. She opened her telescope and looked out onto the horizon. Then, she looked harder. Could it be–…no…well…, she thought, Is it…a tsunami?
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I havent read lord of the flies so can it parody lord of the rings? I havent readf that either but seen movies.
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Oh, shoot…”she thought”, in the last sentence, is supposed to be non-italic…my bad.
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hey, that’s a pretty good parody name. when i saw it on the thread sidebar, i thought it ws going to be a parody of LotR. this is fine too, of course. where shall we start?
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1 – of course you can join. anyone can contribute to and RRR anytime they like.
~~~
i’ve never actually read Lord of the Flies, so this might be hard for me. maybe i’ll just stick around and point out mistakes.
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3-The basic storyline for Lord of the Flies, as far as I know, is that there’s this shipwreck on an island, and the only survivors are a few children. At first, everything’s fine, they’re surviving, it’s cool, but eventually, the children kill each other off, and chaos reigns…but, since this is a parody of that book, it’s not going to be that disturbing, and we can even have HPB’s in the story!!!
:idea::idea::idea:
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For those of you who haven’t read LOTF or need to refresh your memory, there’s a plot and character summary on Wikipedia, which in turn has links to chapter synopses and other resources.
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Kokopelli dove into the water. Something pale and pink was glittering just below the surface. He dived in, strong muscles rippling, and pulled it out, holding it in the palm of his hand. “Wow!” he said. “A used Band-Aid. I’ll call it Freddy.”
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I don’t want to exclude anyone, but I don’t think it will really work if people doing it don’t actually know LOTF. I think everyone should at least read a synopsis or something before writing.
And also, I think the main thing we need to do before starting is figuring out which muses should correspond to which main charactes in LOTF. The main characters are…ugh, i don’t remember all the names. Ralph, Jack, Piggy, Simon, Sam and Eric…..who else?
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Or just keep the characters from the book, and let them encounter the Muses. There are reasons the Muses might be on the island.
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Suddenly, the boat gave an ominous lurch. What’s going on?, though Urania. No one else seemed to have noticed the strange movement. Hmmm. Maybe it was my imagination. She looked through her telescope again, but she could not make out any large waves since it was beginning to get dark out. She sighed and joined the other Muses, who were having a wonderful party full of fun and merriment. Just when she decided to turn in for the night, the boat lurched again. Did anyone notice?, she thought to herself. “What was that?” asked Bo. Apparently they had.
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I think we really need to plan a little more before we jump into writing. The way it’s going it looks like it’s going to just turn into a muse RRR that has nothing to do with LOTF whatsoever. So, can we stop writing for a bit to plan? please?
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I wonder whether an RRR really is the best way to approach this story. Purple Panda seemed eager to do a hatchet job on LOTF. Maybe we should let a few people take some time to create longer posts. Or let different MBers volunteer for different stories.
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I don’t think I can join this one. I have never read Lord of the Flies, and don’t want to, especially now that you have given a on-sentence summary. I’ll probably be forced to read it in highschool, but until then I can avoid it.
But I’ll read along and maybe join in later when I have read more about LOTF.
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14- Oooh! If some people name some drivel-ish stories, I may actually know of one and then I can write a parody. Hmmmmm . . . . . . you know, none of my assigned reading is that bad, and if I don’t like a story I don’t finish it.
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Why is this “everyone’s least favourite reading assignent”? It’s a good book!
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somebody want to parody Romeo and Juliet? how ’bout Great Expectations? I hated both of those…LOTF was actually pretty cool..
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It’s a good book, but not for school reading. You have to read it on your own to truely be able to think about it.
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19-beg to differ, the first time i read it was on my own and i hated it. This last semester we read it in english was my fourth time reading it, and i still hate it.
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17- yes, I agree. Though for me it wasn’t a reading assignment. I just read it.
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I listened to it on tape with my family on a car ride (which is about the closest we get to assigned reading) and it was read by the author, who was a pretty bad narrator, but other than that I enjoyed it.
Anyway, I agree that this doesn’t seem to be working as an RRR. Maybe it should be Purple Panda and maybe a few others who know LOTF working together on it, but less people than a normal RRR and maybe more planning so weactually get a good parody, rather than just jumping in and writing whatever anyone feels like? I think that would be more fun anyway.
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Can I work on it? I read the book once on my own and once when I was forced to by the educational system. It would be fun!
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I’d be happy to help write it. I do have finals next week..then I’m going to Mexico…and I have Script Frenzy…but I can probably find time to help out.
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I havent read it but wanted to jump right into this RRR right when there was a new one so i didnt have to dfo catch up reading.
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23-The only problem is that if i’m thinking about LOTF, i’m going to burst into tears every time I see your name. But sure you can!
25-Well, it’s not an RRR exactly.
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Why do so many people dislike “Lord of the Flies”? I love the book! I think it’s one of the best ever written!
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It’s an amazing book, it really is. I just hate having to tear apart dark allegory over and over again. It gets tiring.
Yes…I agree with emmatheduck. Piggy, your name makes me want to cry.
Ebeth: You read it FOUR TIMES?! You poor dear 
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It is harder to read it now because I get messed up every time I read the name, but bursting into tears is not something I do. After watching the old movie, the original one based on the book, I do not want to be compared to the book’s Piggy by way of looks, though his personality and logic is quite similar to mine. Yes, I suppose I am very much like LOTF’s Piggy. Anyways, it would be “wizard” to help write it. I’m going to use British spellings and slang on Museblog from now on. It’ll get me in the right mood. Jolly good! Cheerio, and all that!
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I take it Piggy was a kid in the book that died?
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30-Maybe not. Maybe not. Maaaaaaaaybe not. That was a quote from the worst short story/fable I’ve ever been forced to read: “Brer Possum’s Dillema.” Ugh. Makes me nauseous. Anyway, read the book. It’s really not all too bad.
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I mean, read LOTF, not Brer Possum’s Dillema.
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29-Well, bursting into tears may be a slight exaggeration. I think I cme pretty close to tears when I first heard the book though.
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so who all will help write it?
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where did everybody go? doesn’t anyone want to help?
Boy, it’s echoey in here. ECHO! (echo) (echo) (echo)
don’t leave me!
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Sorry! I will help!
I think the first thing we need to do should be choose the 9 most important characters, and replace each of them with a muse. All the other characters (like the little kids) can just be unnamed HPBs. Sound good?
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yeah, we should do that.
let’s see, there’s:
Piggy
Jack
Ralph
Simon
Percival
Roger
those are some of the main ones
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I don’t remember who percival was, but yeah. Also Sam and Eric. do we use two different muses for them, or make them into one character for simplicity, or turn one muse into twins, or what?
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Oh, yeah, Samneric. Ummm… they pretty much acted like one person the entire time, so I guess just one Muse can be them.
Any ideas for which Muse should be which character? And who else is willing to lend a hand?
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(39),
Don’t forget that Chad has a twin brother named Frad.
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40-Really? when was that? Ok, Chad and Frad are Sam and Eric.
Koko could be Jack, maybe. Jackopelli? And….Piggy could become Cowy, A.K.A. Bo. and…..idk.
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40-oh, good idea.
41-those sound pretty good. who should be ralph, though? we need to decide which characters in LOTF will be female Muses, since all the characters are male. but first, we need to round up more help. I’ll start posting pleas for dedicated help on other posts.
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42-Ralph should be….ugh, i don’t know. PWT?
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I’d love to help, guys, but I’ve never read the book. I’m really, really, really, sorry.
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44-read it!
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let’s make a list:
Original character -Muse -new character
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Jack -Kokopelli -Jackopelli
Piggy -Bo -Cowy
Samneric -Chad and Frad -Chadnfrad
Ralph -Pwt or Urania, maybe -?
Roger -Crraw? -Crawger?
Percival -Mimi? -?
Simon -Feather? -?
any more ideas?
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46-ummm…..who was percival? I don’t remember him….anyway, maybe Mimi could be Ralph? and are we the only two doing this?
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percival was actually quite unimportant, he was the one who had memorized his address, telephone number, etc. and then forgot it. and I believe we are the only two, unless some kind soul joins us.
*sigh*
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I’m here, but unable to do anything. Sorry. I’ll just watch, at least until I read the book. (Which will be when?)
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48-Oh, him. he was one of the little ones though, right? I thought we’d just use HPBs for all of them.
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(41) January 2005.
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50-That sounds good. But I think we really need more people; at least two more.
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52-We do…..GAPA, could you put this (LOTP) on the don’t forget these threads please?
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Hi, emmatheduck. LOTP is on the “don’t forget” list now.
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(53, 54) In fact, it’s on there twice. I won’t tell if you won’t.
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(55) That’s one way to increase visits to the ol’ Lord of the Pies thread!
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56-And yet it hasn’t, except by GAPAs. Are you going to join?
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I visited. But I visit anyways, in the hope that you guys have written something.
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58-read the book! Then you can join!
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58-Yes, please read it, and soon! I want to write a parody, but two people aren’t enough.
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I have visited. heh heh
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Argh! I don’t really want to read it, but you guys keep asking me to. I will, someday, but I don’t know when.
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Sorry, guys, there is no way I am reading that thing. The Wiki article was awful!
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63-An awful Wiki article doesn’t necessarily mean an awful book, does it? Wiki is written by any random people who feel like writing about any random thing. It doesn’t mean anything. And actually the book’s pretty good.
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64- What I meant was that there was way too much stuff about killing. Killing pigs, killing kids . . .
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65-not that many kids get killed. Only two important ones. And one obviously survived somehow, since he’s on MB…..
Yes, the book is kind of grim, but it’s still good. And anyway, that’s why we need to parody it. Parodies make verything more fun.
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But I – *realizes that excuses won’t help* A – I – ugh. If I can get it without looking like I have suddenly taken a liking to grim, dismal, books with lots of killing and savagery, I will.
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67-Yay! Just tell everyone that your friends forced you into reading it so you could help them write a parody that is less grim and dismal, with less killing and savagery.
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68- I’m more worried about my parents disapproving. But I guess I could tell them that.
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Of course, they might ask, “What friends?” in which case I would have to say, “Emmatheduck and Piggy, of course.” Um . . . This could get awkward.
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70-Can’t you just say people on museblog?
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71- Yeah, I was just kidding. They have no idea who you two are, though my sister knows you were in the National Spelling Bee.
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Dead thread! Dead thread! Dead thread!
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73- ‘Tain’t!
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I’ll help!
“Suddenly…”
There. The stroy has been added to. 
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Ooookayyy. I do not really see how we’re going to make a parody of this… Hey I’ve got an idea! How about Mimi’s the leader, Feather’s Piggy, and kokopelli’s Jack. Jack loves bloodshed, but koko loves pie custard!
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I’ve read The Lord of the Flies, and I have some great ideas, but this thread seems to be dead.
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77- deader then dead.
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78- Dead as death. Poor thread.
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OK, guys. You were right. LOTF is really, really, good.
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I am the ghost of threads and smileys past/unused !
Writers wanted ! You had to read it, now you can have your revenge !
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Chad was down in the machinery room of the ship, fixing the decaf coffee machine. Urania raced in. “Chad!” she said. “A tsunami!”
Chad dropped his socket wrench. “Tsunami?!? But the forecast said calm waters!”
“Well, there is one, and it’s heading our way,” said Urania. “Come up and see for yourself if you want.”
“No,” said Chad. “We all have to get to the emergency cabin. Strongest room in the ship, and built to survive sea disasters.” He picked up a nearby microphone that was connected to the ship’s PA system. “All crew members, report to the emergency cabin immediately!”
He and Urania ran to the cabin, where they saw Kokopelli carving his name into the wall. “Koko!” said Chad. “That’s finest-quality, unbreakable diamondwood!” (A very strong tree that grows in Kokonino County.) “Well, this is an even more unbreakable pocketknife.”
“He means, don’t carve your name into the wall,” clarified Urania. Pwt ran into the room, hot on the trail of Crraw, and followed by Mimi, who was telling en why it isn’t nice to chase people.
Finally, in came Feather, who was munching a donut, Aeiou, who was twirling her sleeves worriedly, and Bo.
Just as Chad closed the door after Bo, the tsunami hit.
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Hm. It’s a shame this never got going. It would’ve been fun. We should restart it pronto.
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We just finished reading LOTF in English class…
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I haven’t actually read LOTF, but I’m happy to help write the parody.
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Perhaps you (and anyone else who has not read it) could read it, or at least find a summary online somewhere.
When this was first started two-ish years ago, we decided that various Muses would play the various characters. I made a list:
Original character -Muse -new character
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jack -Kokopelli -Jackopelli
Piggy -Bo -Cowy
Samneric -Chad and Frad -Chadnfrad
Ralph -Pwt or Urania, maybe -?
Roger -Crraw? -Crawger?
Percival -Mimi? -?
Simon -Feather? -?
We can use those, use different ones, or revise how we want to do this, although the bits that have already been written would be worthless if we didn’t have Muses be the characters.
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I know Piggy is already Cowy, but doesn’t Urania seem like more of a Piggy to you? Ya know, the smartness… things.
If Ralph is Pwt, Jack’s got to be Crraw. If Ralph is Urania, Jack’s got to be Koko. So Urania’s got to be Ralph.
Percival was always more of a symbol for civilization. But it would be nice to have a littlun.
If Crraw is Roger, then Crraw kills Bo. 
And they all kill Feather, apparently. This is getting creepy…
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Creeeeeeeeeeepinesssssssssss… sorry.
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