RRR: Worst. Story. Ever.
Rainbow*Storm’s idea launched here and described by Ambystoma Maculata as “amazingly, hilariously bad.”
Date: September 22, 2011
Categories: Nonrandom Craziness, RRRs, RPWs, and RPGs
Friday, 26 April 2024
Life, the universe, pies, hot-pink bunnies, world domination, and everything
Rainbow*Storm’s idea launched here and described by Ambystoma Maculata as “amazingly, hilariously bad.”
Date: September 22, 2011
Categories: Nonrandom Craziness, RRRs, RPWs, and RPGs
Hi my name is Serenity Darkraven Indigo Farfalle Silvermoon. The raven simbolizes the flight of my sole, and indigo is the color of my eyes. The farfalle simbolises pasta. I like pasta.
Im the kind of quiet, plain-looking girl who you would never saspect is a vampire werewolf angel faerie with asorted other powers. I have long raven-black hair with natiral streaks of other colors, pale but perfectlie tanned skin, and deep indigo eyes with flecks of purist gold.
((So far– Ohemgeorge!! It’s like My Immortal, except even more hilarious.))
“TERMINATE!” screeched the Dalek.Â
The dark angel guy sexily stepped in front of me, his mussels rippling. Suddenly, I knew his name- Arthur Sunsky Firewing Dawn. How? Idk it just appeared in my head, mentally I gasped. Could it be… I was becoming psychic?!?!?!?!
Well anywayz, Arthur faced the dalek, glaring seductively. “How dare you threaten such a beautiful girl?” he demnded.
I gaped. Surely such a hawt dude culdnt b talking bout me that way? o wait… Of course he was.!
The Dalek aimed it’s laserbeam at the vampir guy, who my new powers of psychicness told me to be named Waldo V’am’py’rr Ravensblood.
“No!” I screamed. I felt faint, im a girly girl u know, and I crumbled into Arthur’s muscular arms. Â Â
((I find this especially funny because the vampire in the Twilight parody “Earthlight” that I posted last year was named Arthur.))
((So far– Ohemgeorge!! It’s like My Immortal, except even more hilarious.))
“TERMINATE!” screeched the Dalek.Â
The dark angel guy sexily stepped in front of me, his mussels rippling. Suddenly, I knew his name- Arthur Sunsky Firewing Dawn. How? Idk it just appeared in my head, mentally I gasped. Could it be… I was becoming psychic?!?!?!?!
Well anywayz, Arthur faced the dalek, glaring seductively. “How dare you threaten such a beautiful girl?” he demnded.
I gaped. Surely such a hawt dude culdnt b talking bout me that way? o wait… Of course he was.!
The Dalek aimed it’s laserbeam at the vampir guy, who my new powers of psychicness told me to be named Waldo V’am’py’rr Ravensblood.
“No!” I screamed. I felt faint, im a girly girl u know, and I crumbled into Arthur’s muscular arms.
But, however, I came two a moment later, on account of da big freakin’ CRASH!!!!! I heard as a guy on a flying broomstick came in thru the window. It was Harry Potter, but i didnt really pay much attention because compared to Waldo and Arthur too, he was reaally ugly! Then I realized I was still in Arthur’s arms even though I ttly liked Waldo better. So I walked over to Waldo and pertended 2 faint in his arms. Then I actually fainted for the second time in like 15 seconds!! Seriously, I’m such a girly girl its not even fnny. I can’t leave the house without makeup.Â
That time I stayed fainted for 10 minutes. Â Â Â
I’m in!!!!
Genres: I vote for any kind of fantasy, because the rules can be most easily bent in a fantasy universe. This includes steampunk, futuristic, etc.
Plot lines:
Some unbearable protagonist finds out that they are the special (half-creature, gifted, etc.). Are captured by super-secret society who fights forces of evil. Chaos insures.
Unbearable person goes through existential crisis and discovers stuff. Excellent fodder for book clubs.
Someone builds a time machine and messes with time so much that even we the authors will get confused.
Someone dies, and it takes 10 threads to describe it.
I kind of don’t want to do romance, just for the GAPAs’ sakes.
What does everything think?
And is this the first post? *squee*
OK, not first post. Oops.
Is this one story that we all write, or a bunch of stories that we each contribute? I’m a bit confused.
DON’T MENTION TIME TRAVEL AND CONFUSED AUTHORS
OH GOD OH GOD MY BRAIN STILL HURTS
It’s even funnier if we start in a realistic setting and include crazy fantasy elements. (As the Mary Sue Litmus Test used to put it, “A Cute Witch on The West Wing.”)
when i woke up i was in a dark forest. it was srsly rlly rlly rlly rlly rlly rlly dark. dark like my haert which is tortred and pain. it was dark cuz the trees bloked out the sun and also cuz it was nite. i quikcly made a fire bcuz even tho i like makup and faintin doesnt mean im tlly stupid!!!!!!!!!!!
the fire made me less cold bcuz it was rainin, but i used my magik did i mention im a witch?!?!?! cuz i am! i can do lots of spells and im rlly powerfull!!!!
neway i made the fire and then i herd crashin comin from my left. i stood up like a chetah and said ‘whose there?! i now ur there!!’
then a buetifull boy coverd in blod steppd out. i gasped cuz he wus coverd in blod! are you hurt i shouted but then stopd cuz wat if…
THAT WASNT HIS BLOD?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
((Had to go back to make spelling errors. This is painfully fun.))
((I love how this started as a story about a Mary Sue and devolved into an unreadable mass of spelling errors and horrible metaphors. ))
Then i realyzed … it was WALDO!
He put his muskular arm around me, his skin sparkling evin in the rain.”I had to take you away from those daleks,” he said. “This blood is from fighting them and the other kids at ur school who were all zombies. Arthur went to also help fight the daleks. We can hide in this forist until its safe.”
I almost fainted agin cause he was so perfect and pratective. How could i ever choose bitween him and Arthur?
Then … Waldo pulled out a guitar! “I wrote u a song while u were unconsious,” he sed shyly. “Its about how u r the only thing that maters in my life and the dalex can’t take are love away.”
“Take my luv <3
Take my land
Take me were I canot stand
But you cant take the sky from me
Sinse I found Serenity
Take me out
Too the black
Tell em i aint coming bak
I don't care Im still free
You cant take the sky from me
Sinse I found Serenity! ”
I almost fainted again. He evin made my name ryme with stuf! <3 <3 <3
“Wow ur sooo good!!” I marvled, gazing into Waldo’s long-lashed eyes. Then we kissed and it was unlike kissing anybof the 3147 guys I’d kissed before, even tho I Felt rely bad cuz of Arthur.
There once was a girl named Serenity
Whose looks were, to her, an amenity.
All the boys, she could tell
Would fall under her spell
When she took on her author’s identity.
((I’m going to join this. Because this looks fun.
Sorry, I meant: im gng 2 join ths cuz it lks fn lol!))
Finally he pulled away from our amazing kiss but i didnt notice 4 a sec cuz my brain which is normally really smart and stuff was still kinda mushy, dont blame me this guy was just SO. AMAZING. and so i was like “waldo i think im in love with you”
“Im in love 2 but not with u” he sez and im like WHAAAT. Then he goes into the forest and Im so worried and cunfuzzled that i feel real dizzy and everything goes black and when i wake up thers Waldo! and he is holding hands with a girl who looks just like me! And im so confused that i faint again. When I wake up Waldo is there but with the girl again. I stand up and do ninja moves and yell “Who are u!” b/c she might be an imposter obviously thats the only explanation right!!! “Waldo what r u doing with that imposter!”
“This isnt your imposter he said” and I was like OMG WHAT THE CAKE “This is your clone. Her name is Serenity Darkcrow Violet Cucurbita Goldsun.”
“Darkcrow for the flight of my sole.” she says. “Violet for the color of my eyes. And Cucurbita symbolizes spaghetti squash, i like spaghetti squash”
then i was so shocked that i fainted!!!!
((Had to be done.))
((You must mean that violet is the color of her eyes in the morning. Surely they turn green in the afternoon.))
i woke up form my faint to find Waldo kissing me very sexily. It was so hot that I pretended to be alseep for longer bc clearly if he kissed me when i wuldnt notice he was deeply in love with me and not my stupid clone who is still not as totally amazing and wunderful as I am . But she’s not totally terrible becuase shes MY clone. AS LONG AS SHE DOESNT STEAL WALDO!!!111!!!11!1
But finally I needed to talk to Waldo, so i flitterd my as-long-as-fake-ones lashes open. “Waldo,” I breathd sweetly.
“My darling” waldo ansered. “I luv u. Foreva.”Â
“yes, I kno,” I gigled. “no bois hav resisted me yet. But I think I mite… I migt…”
“what is it my luvly??”
“I kinda love Arthur too, maybe.”
“What?!?!?!?!?!” shouted Waldo, a Red hot vampiric anger shining on hiz face. “U can’t love him! Just me!”
It yore my ♥ in 2 to see him so angry. I burst into tears. I knew vampirs were usuly tempermentle, but I’d assumed that Waldo wuz an acception.
THEN A SKELETON POPPED OUT
Then Arthur drooped out of the sky, flapping his dark angel wings like the wings of a shineng black raven. “Serenity!” he said protectivly. “Stay back! Ill fight off the skeleton with my dark angle powers!”
He started to fight off the skeleton with his dark angle powers. And Waldo and Serenity 2 joined in the fight two! (Lol geddit like two and Serenity 2)
Even with their vampire, dark angel, and clone powers, the skeliton was going to kill them!!! I knew wat i had to do. I jumped to my feet and screamed “FOR JUSTISE!” and blasted the skeleton with Dalek rays from my hands because I am part Dalek because i was expiriminted on by evel sientists wen I was little.The skeleton died. Then I fainted because I used to much power. (C Im not perfect!! I faint if i use 2 much powar!!))
When I awoke I saw a horrible site!! Serenity 2 was laying dead cause the skeleton fell on her when It died!! Arthur was standing stoically on guard in case moar daleks came, while Waldo knelt beside her ded body sobbing in a manly way.
Suddinly I felt tears weeling up in my own eyes, and it was all heartwarning because I really did care when Im usally all stoic and stuff. “I killed my own clone and broke Waldos hart so now I have angst!!!” I cryed.
((Cake, I misspelled my email.))
Whoops it looks like we posted contradicting storylines.
Do you want to keep them both and do a continuity error or mash them together?
((Let’s use yours, it’s better/worse. Plus you didn’t kill off any major characters, so Arthur and Serenity 2 could always come back. Though it would also be funny if they were never mentioned again …))
Waldoe attaked the sketelon with his vampire teeth. I cried as they fought. I didn’t want wadlo to die!!!11! but then i remembered he was immortal and he was okay.
Suddenly i saw the skeletoon shove him down!!! he landed on the ground and he loked like he was crieing. i ran over to help him, but then he jumped up heroically and yelled “THE INJURY RUSE WASS……………………………… A DISTACTION!!!!!1!!1211111!!!!!!” he then tokre the skeletons head off and we did a victory dance. he sang some more to me, and arthur came and took my clone away so they cud both b happy.
I ran in2 da woodz cryng bcuz I cudnt let Waldoo or Arthur see my ANGST bcuz theyd be all like “O Serenity let us both comfort u!” an then theyd start fightig over me an maybe they mite get hurt and that woud be bad bcuz then they wudnt be hott anymore!!!1 But nyway I ran into the woodz crying and then I heard sumthing say “TERMINATE!” i LOOKED AROND. It was……………………………………………………………… A Dalek!!!!1!1one11oneeleven
Oh no I said sexily.
“DONT BE SILLY LOL” it sed “U ARE TO BEATIFUL 2 TERMINATE I LOVE YOU SERENITY DO YOU WANNA DO IT WIF ME”
“Eww no thats gross!” I said cuz it was gross, it was a DALEX!
An then the Dalek cryed an ran away in2 the woods and lizzened 2 Good Charlotte (AN arnt they the greatest??!!?!!) bcuz it wuz depressed an it committed suicide by slitten its rists.
.
.
(Also: This is AM and Enceladus’s friend who was here a while ago. AM told me about this, and I’m re-de-lurking because it sounded like so much fun. This goes along with #13, by the way.)
I think we decided on 14…
But it still makes sense.
And now every character has fallen in love with Serenity!
(how does a Dalek slit its wrists? It doesn’t have a) arms or b) wrists…)
Oops – I posted this before we decided 14 was going to be canon.
Here’s mine updated:
I ran in2 da woodz cryng bcuz Arthur left xcept I thoght mabey I wuz sill in luv with him! I had ANGST bcuz which of them was mor hott I still hadnt decided but now Athur wuz gone an what if I dezided he wuz more hott?But nyway I ran into the woodz crying and then I heard sumthing say “TERMINATE!†i LOOKED AROND. It was……………………………………………………………… A Dalek!!!!1!1one11oneeleven
Oh no I said sexily.
“DONT BE SILLY LOL†it sed “U ARE TO BEATIFUL 2 TERMINATE I LOVE YOU SERENITY DO YOU WANNA DO IT WIF MEâ€
“Eww no thats gross!†I said cuz it was gross, it was a DALEX!
An then the Dalek cryed an ran away in2 the woods and lizzened 2 Good Charlotte (AN arnt they the greatest??!!?!!) bcuz it wuz depressed an it committed suicide by slitten its rists.
(On the post 13 storyline.)
but ten da Dalek ran outof da woods and i said “u totes just died of suicyde cuz u luv me” and the Dalek was all “LOL SENERITY that was just a pretend suiciid! lol”
but so I was all like “DAT’S NOT FUNNY” b/c I thot teh Dalek rllly liked Good Charlot! (A/N its a Dalek so its evil geddit? i totes knu this girl once who did that an she was da WORST!!!1!!!111)
so Arthr said “omg Serenty you are to beautifull I cant I not the Dalek if you!”
so I said “arthur omg u are the SWEETEST” cuz he just said the sweetest thing. it was sooooooooooooo romantic! it was so romantic i fainted!!!!1
but when I unfainted which was one minutes later (A/N omg thats shorter than noral!! I WUNDER Y………… winkwinkwink U’LL ALL C L8R PROMISE) the Daalek was all “UGH U SUX” cuz he was jelly.
and he poited his plunger thing @ Arhtur and……………………………… HE ESKTERMINED HIM!
so I fell down and i was all “NO ARKTHUR NOOOOOOOO” cuz i was really sad. it was REALLY SAD because Arthur was my 1 true luv guyz eskecpt for Waldo and what if the Dalek had exturmined Waldo???? omg that would SUK!
and then I notised something!!!!!!
OR THE POST 14 STORYLINE, WHATEVER. It just goes after Artemis’s post, which is the point.
Wait, the Dalek is jelly? It’s made of jelly …?
((“Jealous.”))
If it’s any consolation, that’s what I thought too.
Harry pottur waz comin back! He was all bloody and soooooooooooooonot not hawt n he was on the broomstik agen.
((Okay, so Arthur didn’t leave but he’s now dead, and Serenity, Waldo, and Serenity2 are still alive? Good, now we can have a Serenity/Waldo/Serenity2 love triangle. And obviously Arthur is going to magically come back at some point, so.))
((Cake, I meant to type Serendipity instead of Serenity. Oh well, Serenity2 works just as well.))
Aftur the dalex died i was kissing waldo and thein i heard uh sound the sound was like the wind in the tree tops and this hot elf dude walked out it was legolas!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!!!@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ONG LEGOLAS IS SO HOT
LIKE I LUV HIM I WANT OT MARRY HIM
I LUV HIM SO MCH HIE IS SO HOTTOTOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@#@!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!
and then legolas was like srenity come to mirkood w/ me and be the princess of my kindgon and i was like ues but what about walkdo
legolasss leaf green eyes glinted in the moonlight whihc accented his perfect blond hair.
forget it he said and then he started mking otu wi/ arwen and i was like ok this is weird but i still kindo wasnted him even though waldo was holding me tight in his muscular arms that glistened in the moonlight every drop of sweat was a diamond and i likced his muscle and then we started making out again
((To the GAPAs, who moderate this thread: My deepest sympathies.))
((I agree. I know this whole thread is supposed to be ironic, but it’s still making me cringe repeatedly. I get enough of this in other places, MB is supposed to be a refuge from it…))
((A touch of Poe’s law, perhaps?))
((Thank you, Piggy. Battle-hardened though we are, I think I can say that this thread is unique in our experience.))
So then Harry Pawtr walked up to us looking vaaaary mad. He took out his wand and shouted, “Expcetio partonum!” A jet of green light all shiney like lites on a chrismus tree shot outta da wand and enveloped us in a swirling vortex of doom an then Waldo n me fell tovtge ground.
“Yu guyz ca’nt b in love with each other!!” shouted hairy (thats my nikname 4 him, I’ve met him bafor cuz im such a powerfull witch I get to meet famous ppl)
“Go awaaaay!” i shrieked hysterically. My new psychic powers were telling me that da divination teacher. Professor sprout, had mde a prophecy that me and Harry would get married. But then, I remember! I use my other super witch powas to see if the prohecy is gonna come true, and I found out that it wouldn’t but I’m not a seer so i culdnt see who I WAS going to marty.
“look hairy im so powafull I can tell there’s a prohecy and it’s not coming true, dude, I sed.
Harry looked crestfallen. (ya I’m smart I kno lotsa Kool words like that)$ he started 2 cry and kept on crying for a long time, but then he got over it fast wizards r like that sometimes.
He looked up And tried to smile but I came out weird. “Well there are some threstals we can go on to escape frm the Dalex and zombies and skeletons.”Â
“oh yes.” said Waldo.; “I was wondering what those were here
For.”
I gasped. waldo could see the threstals! That meant… He’d seen death before!!!!!!!
((Yikes, I didn’t see your post. Should we attempt to integrate both of them? Or which one are we going with? I mean, I had Serenity battle her clone, and you have HP show up and try to marry her. Hmm, what do you think? I’m cool with either one.))
((Anyone else reminisced of the later Max Ride novels? Not that stealing from it is a bad idea on this thread or anything…))
k so my makeup was totally messed up by this time!11!!! Like rlly i dnt no what 2 do b/c my makeup kit was at home!!!11!! so i ws lke omg what am i gonna do cuz im such a girlygirl and stuff nd what was i gonna do my foundation was all bad nd stuff!!! omg what if someone saw the freckle on mychin it is my ONLY blemish otherwise i am PERFECT. N e ways i remembered i can fly!!!!1!! so i grew amazing faerie wings nd flew out of waldos arms “goodbye my love” i said we shall meet again someday and he was like NO SERENITY NO but as i rose above the treetops i saw him making out w/ serenity2!!11!! nd then she looks at me shes like hahaha serenity i am your perfect double nd she smears some foundation off her chin evn though her makeups still perfect nd THERS NO FRECKLE i was like WHAAAT and flew like light to my house which is a base in the mountains nd did my makeup at like superfast speed and thn brushed my hair then i brought my makeup back nd stshed it at camp b/c i <3 makeup and accessories omg im like such a girly girl but im beautiful i have to accent it right!!!11!! so i walked up 2 waldo im like excuse me nd he turns around sweat and blood drippign frm hs mucsular arms nd he was making out w/ serenity2 again!!!!!11!! nd my clone grew faeirie wing.
"u have b/come REDUNDANT." she said "TERMINATE"
"But ur not a dalex!" i said
"dalexs say exterminate i never said exterminate"
and she rushed at me!!!11!! w/ her faerie wings nd vampyre teeth!!11!! nd we rose up in the air to do battle!!11!!
((SFTDP but I’m going to try and integrate these two plots. Most likely I will steal from Max Ride to make the plot more random. 0.o Wish me luck!))
I woke up and the stars were shining in the sky like my love for waldo. I was in his arms and hairy potter was there.
“get away” said waldo. “She is mine.”
“what just happened!!” i said romanticly.
“it is a prophecy. u r a seer.”
“But im not a seer i said nothing about being a seer i am a vampyre werwolf angel faerie w/assorted other powers.”
“It seems u r growing powers” sez hairy potter as he summons the death eaters all of which r dalexs. I flutterd my eyelashes!!! and waldo sez dont hurt her shes fragile and im like ohhh waldo so romantic!!! and fainted again for a few minutes and then woke up. and then we were making out again!! and it makes hairy potter angry lol haha
Then i remembered something!!! There was a dream!!
I told waldo and he was like “what dream” and I said “I was putting on makeup…”
“Oh for goodness sake” says hairy potter and I say “wait there is more” and i remember serenity2. And I use my psychic powers and I SENSE SHE IS NEAR. And i remember him making out with serenity2! In my dream! and us battling.
Im like “U will betray us all!” and fall out of his arms. and faint again because I hit my head on a rock omg i hope i look alright because i need to brush my hair.
See im like rlly powerful and stuff so i cast a speel of DEATH on her and she was all like NOOO and I was all like YESSSSS and she fell to the ground in a way that reminded me of me and arthrs LUV and then waldo rushed over to her and i wa slike ‘waldo u hav to luv me cuz i love u” and he was like glancing back and forth between me and her and then she started squirting blood everywhere and i wasall “eeeeewwwy” cuz there was a speck of blood on my arm and i started to cry cuz i hate blood and i angsted more and then i felt like sadd so i walked over 2 her and she bit me with her vampire teeth that i don’t havve. i mean its my only flaw other than my freckle i am so not powerful at all except i’m magic remember? alsso i think hairy got tired of waiting for my luv and so he may have crawled away to die in the forest vbut im not sure bcause i saw him in the sky so either he was on his way to heaven or he was flying away on threstral. so while i was turning into a vampy i was also fainting but then i stopped cuz i couldnt feel waldy’s muscular arms around me. and he was like “why arent u screaming in agony i mean seriously u hav e something special there”
“i no waldypoo. im really special.” and he smiled at me and i was very happpy happy happy and he couldnt even see my feckle and he told me he wasn’t going to leave but he rlly had to pee, like rlly so hed b right back. i said OK waldy but come back soon, and as i was angsting about him bcause i was worried hed find someone more beutiful than me lol like thta could ever happen. and serenity 2 was like ‘im dying im sorry’ and i was like ‘shut up whatever its ur fault and im tryin to angst here i mean really.’
((I guess the trouble with this being soactive is that everyone posts at once… so I guess Serenity can have another dream sequence prophecy thingy to fit Mika’s post? Hey, we asked for a bad confusing plot, didn’t we? Hey that would work seeing as she fainted at the end of my post…))
Omg i just had another dream i tell waldypoo as i wake up but he is not there!, omg and im like omg where is he. Then my dream sequence happens and im like omg and it is exaxtly how i dreamed it!,, are we caught up to the preaent now says serenity2as i watch her die. I was like i guess so. Then there was a rustling frim a tree and i saw waldy emerge and hes a vampire too!,, he grabbed me to bite me and i amike wait what… and now i feel his strong arms and i faint again.
((Oh my gosh… *headdesk* Yeah, this is going to be confusing. Oh well. Sorry; I didn’t see your post either…))
I wuz gonna let Serenity2 die on th grond but she was rilly hott (lol geddit cuz she’s me!) so I reversed my spell of death so waz alive agaibn. I men she waz so hott! So I cant kill her! I cudnt reverse th spell cuz deth spells cant be reversed u n00bs so I transferred it on2 Hairy cuz he wasnt hott so he died but my clone was aliv again.
An she said “ooh Senerity fangz (lol geddit) for unkilling me!” An I sed “Ill only unkill u if u promise not 2 bit me again” and she seid “ok” an so I did and she was ok again.
She waz so beautiful she had long raven black hair as dark as a nite wif no sun, faling in gently waqving waves down her back. Her eyes were big and violet and shone gently with depths of understanding of the entire universe that no1 else cud no. I met her eyes with my own deep indigo ones flekked with swirling bits of gold lik the night sky full opf stars.
“Whaft do we do now?” she aksed “waldo haz left us!”
“He sed hed be back soon” I sed but he waznt back yet! OH NO WHAT IF SUMTHING BAD HAD HAPPENED TO HIM, LIK IF HE WAZ DED??? OR WORSE HE MET SUM1 ELSE WO WAS MOAR BAEUTIFUL THEN ME????
((This is a Suefic. Why are we worrying about continuity?))
((good point))
((Meh, I kind of liked it when there was a plot, even if just for the point of it being a really bad plot. Can we keep having a plot? Pwease?))
Then hez liek, ” Sernty, I love you ‘ But i wuz feinted! i opin mai iys a nd se Serity too kizzing Waldo. OMG. ” Waldoo! whut r u doing? ” I aske.
((This looks fun! I think I’ll join))
Thn OMG I wake up after only thrty secs!!!1111! Im all like woa my witchy pwers are geting biger so i can like, wake up faster now (c, i told u id tel u l8er!!!!!!)
Waldypooo is like, stndin in frnt of me giglin, and hes all like, jk, n im like tht was mean, u mde me feint. and then he like, kisses me, and im like, yeah, i like u betttter. Thn hes alll like… ttyl, and he runs off real fast-like
I was so sad that waldo left tht I fell to the grond and bigan to cry sexily. Then … I HEARD A NOISE!
Arandom lumberjack came out of the trees and began to sing.
“Im a lumbrjack and I’m okay
I sleep al night and i work all day
I chop down trees, I eat my lunch, i go to the lavitory (what the cake is a lavitory?)
On wendsdays i go shopping and have buttered scones 4 tea!!!” (I ate a scone 1nce. It sucked.)
Then he was anoying so I ixploded him with my dalek lazar powers.
Then Waldo came back!!!
((I’m completely confused right now, but I think the people who write these sorts of things are confused 24/7, so it doesn’t matter much.))
i run after him, im a fast runner evn tho I don’t take gym or sports (I do’nt take em cuz a) getting all sweaty which is soooooooooo nawt cute and b) I’m in sooooooo menny classes I run after him, im a fast runner evn tho I don’t take gym or sports (I do’nt take em cuz a) getting all sweaty which is soooooooooo nawt cute and b) I’m in sooooooo menny classes and extra curikulars I dont hav tim. We dident go far bafore I found a ring lying on the ground. Sumhow i knew dat it would increase my witch powaz and keep me frm fainting. It was ah-mazingly (da clique rox!!) cute n stylish. Then I put it on! Well duh of course I did!!!!
((Oops. I messed that up somehow…))
((Can we get back to having the bad plot? Because half the fun of this was that the plot was so hilariously bad and cliched. I mean, we can still do all the fainting and snogging and random Max Ride-esque cloning and dying and new powers and bad spelling (as long as it’s still semi-readable). But… I kind of liked the continuity, even if this is a Suefic.))
((Yeah, we should. But how can we avoid plot confusion with everyone posting at once? Hmm…))
((Let’s ask the GAPAs. They might know something that would help. Anyway, I’m going to continue to try to keep the plot in order. Wish me luck; I’ll need it!))
I run after waldoe becuz i have awsum speed spells that make me run reeeeeeeeeeely fast and i see him. and hes talking to arthru ! he says ‘we have to stop srenity from feinting so much! she mite faint without us a round and she cud get hurt!!!!!1!!@2111!!!!!”
arthru sais “i have a magical angel spell that will stop pple from feinting!” and he turns around nad cats it onme!
“WHAT DID YOU DDOOOOOOOOOOOOOQOOOO?” i yell at him “my fainting gives me profitic dreems! even tho im not a seer cuz theyre gros” anthru sais “oh carp” but then wadloe says “its okray becuz i has a prophcy destroying aeffect and i maek them all fasle” and evrything uis good.
((Oh carp :lol:))
((More plot confusion…))
“Ok fine.” I said. And then Waldo said, “Look serenity I love you and everyhting but I’m going to go make out with your clone.”
“Noooo!” I gasped, and put my hand over my heart.
“I can’t help it,” he said, and turned away dramatically, putting his hand out to stop me from coming closer. His profile looked tragically heroic and I felt myself melt inside.
“Oh Wald–”
“Stop,” he whispered, his face glistening in the moonlight. I could see the sadness that was etched into it.
“o.” I murmered, and stared at the dead leaves scattered all around. Could this be the end?
“I am torn in half,” he said. “I love you, but I love her too.”
“Who?” I said, trying not to cry.
“Serenity Two.” he said, and kissed me before runnign away. I dragged myself home and took a hot bath, my heart heavy. How could I live with this?
((Posts thirty one and thirty three badly clash, and I will obsessive compulsively fix it.))
Im so happy i got my fainting and prophetic dreams back!!!11!! theyre a main part of my personality how can i be myself if i dont faynt nd have prophetic dreams!! !!1 i was so worried about my powers of feinting and prophetic dreams that i nearly faintd!!!1! but i just stood there and i was like oh right the ring and i yanked it off and threw it into the campfire!!!1!
waldo and arthur were like “oh no serenity” at the exact same time! because they cared about me and my powers! but how did they know about the ring, it was a secret! and then with the rings power gone i became very dizzy and fell and fainted!!! this time it was for a very long time and when i woke up i herd showting, it was arthur and waldo fighting over me again. arthur showted and so did waldo at the exact same time and arthur picked me up and started kissing me, it was so romantic except that wait a minute he was dead wasnt he!!!
“the dalex temrinated u!! i sad and he was like “yes they did and now they will termintte u two!1”
((What is happening I don’t even know.
Let us set down rules:
Continuity is unimportant. We are going to have a full on random events plot, and it doesn’t really matter. ‘Kay? I’ll get us out of the forest and we can ignore fainting and stuff like that. That should work))
so i was in the woods with athru and wadloe and i kept faineting and stuff and having wired insepshun dreams (AN: that acter is soooooooo hotttt) and then i woke up FOR REAL in my bedroom. i looked out my windows and i saw athru and wadloe watching me sleep cuz they care about me so much. then i said hi to them and we all went to the graveyard cuz were all goths and emus and stanist. suddenly in the graveyard we were surrounded by zombies!!!!!!! i took out my wands (i have reely cool wadns like hairy putter only my GOTHIG) and i started shooting zombies. then athru took out his sord and started to kill them and waldoe started shooting them (vampires have built in bullet hands.
Even with their vampire, dark angel, and clone powers, the zombees was going to kill them!!! I knew wat i had to do. I jumped to my feet and screamed “FOR JUSTISE!†and blasted the skzombieson with Dalek rays from my hands because I am part Dalek because i was expiriminted on by evel sientists wen I was little.The zobmies died. Then I fainted because I used to much power. (C Im not perfect!! I faint if i use 2 much powar!!)) but i woke up relly quickly and didnt have nay dreams. then we all gott in a kar and lisened to Gud Sharlutt all the way home
but then suddenly!!!!!………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
I “woke up” agenn! And I wuz liek, WTF?!?! Now I had noo idea which level was real. I tried using my magik powerz of truth detection but they wouldent workk.
I looked around. I was in a bedroom, not mine. There was a tv a nes (so nineties ikr) a computer a bed and a bookshelf. Waldo nd Arthur weren’t there, which made me cry.
After the last salty cristaline tear faded from the corner of my big beautiful eyes I went down the staircase. I was in a kitchen, nd my mom was at the table. This relly confused me, sence I am an orphan and I live in a horrible orphanage. My mom hadbeen reeeeaaaalllly nice snd super rich (she left me all her money and said I culd use it for whatever i want. That’s how I can get cute clothes nd stuff.)
I sighed with pent up emotion. Arthur pulled over to the side of the road and turned to me. “The time has come” he said. “you have to choose 1 of us.”
I didn’t know what to do. I loved them both. How could I ever choose? ‘Oh art” I said.
Waldo looked at me and I felt myself turn 2 golden glowaing mush. oh but waldypoo u luv serenity 2 i said.
my luv he said i luv u 2.
who will u choose? i aske3d with my eyes.
u first, his eyes said back.
i luv u said arty. shush i said. 1 sec.
i suddenly knew that i could read minds and read waldos. He loved serenity2!!!
sudenly he bcame like twohundredpercent more hott. ‘i luv u waldo i said.
arty howled. that was weird cuz i think hes a vampire not a werewolf. i mean rilly
((Wait, Wadlo is the vampire and Athru is the angel…))
((There is nothing abnormal whatsoever about Wadlo being a vampire werewolf angel.))
((Wow, you predicted Jupiter Ascending.))
i will luv you forever, arthru said.
i don’ wnat to hurt you i replied but secretly i thought that if two guys love d me then i must be rilly rilly hot like
arty kept on crying and howling. I will lov eyou forever he moaned if you don’t return my love hten i will drown in my own tears and then thrown myself off a conyon and die in the moonlight becaus ei am ripped in two my sould and heart will always belong to you, dreamflower of my dreams. i wil run away to canada and tell the howl worled about my angst becuaswe no1 can possibly understand what i am going through righht now because all i want to do is make out wi/ u so bad!
waldo laughed transcendantly (c i use smart wordz!) iyou ful he siad she loves me
and then i heard a rustle in the bushes and serenity 2 walked out
((I’m on Team Serenity 2 currently.))
Then Serenity2 sed, “Qick we have to drive daleks r coming!” Then daleks came flieing from the sky screaming terminate terminate!! and throwing lasars at us!
So we let Senerity2 in the car and waldo startid driving! The daleks chased us fur a wile. Wadlo was such a gud drivar and sooo hot 2! The four of us spent about 20 mins fighting aboot the complacted love hexagon we were in (geddit theirs four people so it’s a hexagon not a tryangle) while the Dalexs chased us threw the city.
Eventally the daleks stoped chasing us. and I was hungary. Then I saw an Olive Gardin by the side of the rode!!
“WAIT STOP WE HAVE 2 GO TO OLIVE GARDEN!!!!!” I asked sweetly, seizig the wheel so we swerved and crashed into the side of the reaseraunt.
“Anyting for u my love,” sed artur as we all waked into Olive Gardin.
((AAAAAAAAIIIIIEEEEEEEE!))
I’m writing this, and I die a little whenever I read it.
Serendipity2 was being a whiny cakehead!, she was all like can i have spaghetti squash i want spaghetti squash!,, and i was all likepasta becauae i NEED pasta but she is such a little cake she wanted spaghetti squash!,
The olive garden had a theme of salt and pepper shakers, like really big vintage ones sooo out of stylee i nearly puked but i didnt cause i was sooo not goimt to ruin my new top!!!!! And then i got farfalle and serenetytoo got her sppaghettisquash even though eew thats disgusting and then arthur and waldo ordered blood and raw meat, and we all sat fashionably eating our food and waldo os like, so we meed to figure this out, sereniity who do u choose!
I sez i dont wanna break anyones heart here and then i see the giant vintage salt and pwppershakers and they look exactly like…
r2d2!!!
Arthur is like, oh waitthey are daleks nevermind.
and im all like, star trek is for nerds anyway, why are we even talking about this.
but then the dalex started firing laser and before i could kill them all with the new power i found rising within me serenity2 pushed waldo in front of the dalex and they killed him! and i was like serentiy2 how oculd you you cakehead and she was just laughed and like i’m on the dalex side stupid!!!!! why else would i eat spagetti squash!
((Hey, I eat spaghetti squash! XD No really it’s fine.))
i gapsed! “why wuld u do that” i yelled unhappily
she sed “i was created buy the dalexs 2 kill u” condesendingly
i took owt my majic wadns (i got them so that i cud use my majjyyk powers bettar) nad i started shooting her with magjk powers and then athru and wadloe started shooting her too and she saed “im invincible!!!!!” she sed dangerously and then wadloe was like “but i cancel out majik powers like seeing and invinciblility!” heoroically and srenty2 was liek “moooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” and then she died and we laffed at her big overdran no and then athru and wadloe and serenity and i all went to the car and started lisening to goffick music and we had a party (yes i no there were only 3 of us but were goffs and dont need firenze)
((My first thought was “Why would we need centaurs?”))
((intentional))
((If that’s not what–oh, I see. Friends. Right?
I.e. I would never have known he was talking about anything else if you hadn’t said that, and I’m still not sure what he meant. This is bad.
–INTRAMISSIN–
((an kk u guyz just watnd to haz a chappy wear wee can c y athrtu n wadloe luv snereneity soooooooooooooooo muchhhg! lololol njoy plz kk!!!!!!1))
athru
HI im arthru an I luvvv senreaty! she i teh best gilr eva!! cuz shes sooooo prety shee is theh perettuest gril i haz eva met!! seanararty is osoooso prettyy tat onc i saw tihs otter girl adn eveyone was lall “omg omg omg omg tat girl is teh pretties!”
but i took out sernerner an went LOOK ITS SERAINTIE” and everyoonee was aal “omg sarnity is soooooooooooo pretty! cuz she WAS. srntititiy is oooooooos prety and aslo she duz otter stuff too and ttaht is y she iz my FAVEZ 4EVA.
wadloe
so HEEEY im wadloe and im a van pyre angle wherewoof! so yah i justa wannnna say dat Sirinota is tah BEST! lyk she lyks oklive garrden n i tink DATS AWSOM and yah.’
idk guyz i no ur all jelly of mah syetrnie cuz im a van pyre angle wherewoof an alsoo im SMOKIN hawt. an i m SUPER hawte but i luv saraneto cuz she is ssoo kewl. y/y?
–EDN INTARMISSIN–
((an: idk guyz i just thot it was supa important to the storee! cuz u can see serenty is NOT a mairy sue! athru spelld her nayme wrong once!))
SO HERS DA REEL CHAPTA NOT DA INTRAMISSION.
We wer havin a party in da car an it waz an awsum party!!! Ther waz pie an everything! Xcept no cake cuz thats a lie.
But it was such an awsum partyy that waldoo sed “OMG Enoby Srenity this iz awsum! Infact its sooooo awsum I think Im havin a moment of PURE HAPPYNESS!”
An then………………………………………………………………… HIS EYES TURNED RED LIKE AN EVIL VAMPIRIRS!
“Waldo wat is rong????” I wispered.
“I LOST MY SOUL AN I AM EVIL NOW! AHAHAHAHAHA!” he roared.
“O no senerity i will save u!!” Arthur cheered.
“NO U WONT!!!!!” Wadlo shooted. an he ran away.
I started 2 cry sexily but I still had Author an Author waz sooo hott (lol geddit cuz the authors me!) “Wat will I doo?” I cryed.
Then…………………………. my fairy godmother appered!
“nuqneH puqwI’ ” she sed (my fairy godmothers a a Klingon. she spex Klingon so do i. dat menz ‘how do u do my child’ in klingon)
“I uv Wlado xcept hes evulz!!!! Except hes still so hott! Wat do I do????”
“Senerity no1 told u this bcuz we new youd angst alot….. but u r the very last survivor of a ancient magical stanist race. Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way, ur half-cousin, waz 1 but she died so now ur the very last 1. U have the power 2 give ppls souls bak an make them un-evil. But first u must go on a EPIC QUEST.”
Ok i said but can u give me a second i need to fix my hair.
Ok she sad but then wadlo was all like serenity help my soul is trapped free me from the vampyres eevilee curse and i saw true love in his handsome eyes
i was like k but fairygodmother was like OH NO YOUR NOT WE ARE GOING ON THIS QUESTand i was like But MY WALDYPOO!!!
She was like no its a trap and whisked us away but iwanted to help my wadlypoo and then as we stood and i saw the sands of time and magic swirl around OOH SHINY and she said U CAN NEVER C WALDO AGIAN
And im like noooo
and shes like Oh yeah. U r going on this quest bcause its ur destiny!,,
but wait i said dont i have the powerz 2 give peepz their soulz back!,, and she was like yeah but to do that you must let wadlo die because or else the world will be CHAOS!!!but wadlo will die and he is so hot.
so now i am facing an EPIC MORAL DILEMMA HERE!!!!
Critique time!
Hello. I am the author’s friend and I am critiquing this story for her while she critiques mine. I am currently working on my second story, Dark of the Summer Moon, which I expect to be as successful as my first story, Fall of the Summer Moon. I’m sure you all are quite familiar with those works, so without further ado, I will promptly begin to critique my friend’s masterpiece.
-I loved how you set the mood immediately with the dark forest that mirrored the inner darkness of the protagonist’s heart/soul. Very good.
-The instant setup of Waldo v. Arthur is the perfect hook. Brilliant.
-I completely identify with her angst during the skeleton scene.
-The fact that Waldo has seen death adds yet another dimension to his character. Not only is he sensitive, vampiric, attractively furious all the time, and sexy, but he has also been wounded by some tragic event you only hinted at. Genius.
-The fact that Arthur and Waldo are watching a young woman sleep does not disturb me in the slightest because I am an intelligent person who understands that their intentions are purely innocent and romantic. To call it “creepy” “absurd” or “stalker-ish” shows that whoever is calling them those things obviously never has had true love.
Well, I can’t say anything more about how amazing the plot is because I simply don’t have enough room. I love the characterization. I love how multidimensional the characters are. The fact that Serenity has a chronic fainting habit establishes a weakness in her character that removes her from all danger of being a Sue. Waldo and Arthur are completely opposite but are both well-rounded, interesting characters. I pity Serenity for having to choose between them. This plot is so original! The dramatic twists and turns leave me wanting more! (for example, I was completely shocked when Legolas appeared in the story! I mean, who could have seen that coming? No one!) Keep up the brilliant work!
((I notice you let the spelling and grammar errors slide… Oh well, that’s what spell check is four!))
((The spelling mistakes and grammar errors allow my friend to express what she is feeling in her soul more clearly. The raw emotion is not restricted by rules of grammar or language.
Obviously. Sheesh.))
Artuhr looked at me with sadnis. “Seneritiy don’t go on the qeust i want u to be safe.” I almost agreid, but then i remebered waldos depsarite plea 4 help as his soul was distroyed, and how hott he was. <3
So I sed, "Aurthar I love u but i love Walldo to. and I want both of yoo alive so i can angst more ovar the teribble choice I must mak."
"Please, Sarenity. We coud be happy togehter."
"No arthir. My faery godmothor sed i am the last of my ancient Satinist race. That means i have 2 be the very best, liek noone evar was. To find Wlado is my Real quest, to get his sole back is myy cuase. I must travel arcoss the land, saercihng far an wide. Teach msyelf to udnerstand the powar i have insyde."
Athrur grabbed my hands, lokking deep in2 my eyes. "It's you and me."
"But i know its my density."
"Your my best freind -"
I shook my head, my eyes filllling wthi tears. "The world I must difend. With hearts so true, my cuorag will pull us trough. You taught me, now Ill taech you -"
"Well when you put it that way …" sed Atrhur. "U can go, Serinity. But please be carfull. I love yo." We kissed 4 a long time and it was raelly romantik!!!!1! "Also with my telepathic vampir powerz I can check up on u every once ina while."
“But i know its my density.” ♥
Everyone ought to know their density, and if they don’t, they had better find out quick.
((The comic book Power Pack had a joke about this once. A seven-year-old drew a picture of Mass Master and wrote “He can control his destiny”, to which he responded “DENSITY!”))
The Pokemon theme song. Genius.
I rumaged in the trunk of the car to pack for the Quest 4 Justise. I paked all my awesume weapons like a magyk wand, a lazar gun, a poratl gun, a lihgtsaber, surernder flags, power channniling gems, and a sonick scerwdriver. Also food and colthes and stuf. All while Athrur watched me sexily wthi his sad golden eyes with flecks of brozne! Then I kissed him agnai and than I telapotred away 2 where my magyck insitncts told me Wlado was near. (LOL GEDDIT liek near frm Deathnote … but Wadlo isnt raely Near. That kid is crepey.)
Aynway, i telepotred to a random cave somewehre. A booming voice from the cieling sed, “I am the evel force that has catpured ur love!!!! U will have to pass a sereis of deadely tests to get him bakc!! And did i mentin Im a PREP?????!!!!!” The vocie strated to lauhg like BWAHAHAHAHA.
“I shoud have knwon u were a prep u caking evel voice!” I shoutid deretimedly at the ceiling. “I will pass ALL ur tests and savee Walldo cause he is my one and truly love ixcept for Atrhur!”
“Oh Srenitiy deer,” seid the evil prep voice in a preppy, evel voice. “I woudnt be so shore. The wurst is yet to come.”
THEN IT STARTID RAINIG SAUSAGES.
((Wow. I didn’t see that coming.))
It was supposed to be a pun on “the wurst is yet to come” … I guess it didn’t work as well as I thought.
No, it worked perfectly, and it took me completely by surprise.
((Exactly!! The plot twists and turns! It’s good that you were surprised because it shows that this story is really really good!))
Hahahahahahahaha!
i freked out wen i saw thaa sausgez rainin frum da skie.
“OMG NOO NT FATTY FOODZ!11” one of das sauzges feel into my mout. i had to eat it. “IM GUNNA GET FAT AN DEN ARTHUR WON LUV MEEE!” I scremed a perrfict screm that wuz totly hot and I wish Arthur could of herd.
I swaalowed lyk ten sauusigez in a row and den it stawped rayning.
“HAH, dat wuz easy! I onlee gayned lyk an ouenc!” I cryed tryumfantly.
“O ya? WELL YOU BROK A NAIL!” da voice yelld bak.
I lookd donw. Won of mah perfict black Sinful Colurs nayls wuz brokn off!
“OMG NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” I screamd to thaa heavns.
(I screamd so louldly dat thye could her me on da spaec statsuhn.)
“MY NAILLLLLLLL” i yelled and held up my hand its fracturedness and imperfection shining in the moonlight nd i broke down and CRYED!!!!!!!!!! b/c of my naelz nd then the moonlight reminded me of waldo/arthur (i coldnt rmemeber which one was a wrewolf b/c i was so ANGSTED!!!) and how he was a werewolf!!! omg and i thought of him and in the moonlight i stood up and used my magic to create a meakeup kit out of THIN AIR and i took out a nail clipper and file and faike nailes and polish! and i fixed it.
“HAHAHAH!” I yelled at the voice and it was so caked so it sed
“u r so not done srenty!!!” or smthing liek that!!!
((Now there’s a scene that’s eerily true to life.))
((All this girl needs is a couple of bratty sidekicks and this RRR will turn into The Clique.))
Thaie’re wuz a foen ringin suddinlee!!! it wuz mine, i answeredit. “HEllo he said… it was a; voyce that wuz loud, it reetched me we r from spaec it sed in tha rocket shutll station an we heard a sqreem, wut wuzzit? Are you k?
yeah im ok i sed NO OF COURSE NOT I BROKE A NAIL WHAT DO U XPECT!!!
then it sez r u in need of help
nd i sed no im not completely helpless i fixed it with MY NAIL KIT!! Cuz im not just a girly girl ive got survival skills
so i fixd mai nal n then sed 2 the atsownat hey do u hav a spasshyp i cn boro?
n hes lik NO U CANT BORO OR SPASKIP DER IMPRTNOT
n im lik BUT I NED IT
and hes lik oh ok bt oneli bcuz ur so iridesint and i s
ay THNK U and hes lik anithn 4 mai prinnses
and im lik WHOA WUT?!?!?! cuz i didnt no i was a prinses!1!!
hte asronuts lke yah u r ur prinses ov amerika nd i screemd BUT I CANT BE
IM JAPANEES BRITTISH JURMEN RUSHIN AWSTRAYLIN! I CANT BE PRINSES OV AMERIKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND I CRYED BECAS I HAD RENUNCD MAI THROWN AND I WAS SAD CUZ I COULDOF BIN A PRINSES
ARHUR WAZ YELING OH NO R U AL RITE SERNIATY
NO I SHUTD IM CRING
OH SAYD arhtir i no dis is pursunall but kin i drnk ur teers?
y? i askd him brethlesly in a sxyyyyyy wai
he strted cring i need to drnk teers 2 live
OMG! WUT WAS I GON 2 DU?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
~~xXseerneityXx
NXT CHAPPY SUN!!!!!!!! RNR KK? GO LUK AT MY OTHR STORYS THEYRE AWESUM 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<3 MEEEE~~~~
Ok good den it seys. We hab got exspearmints to do an stuffs.
Den hang up you stupid prep cosmonot I sey.
((This hurts to read. I can’t even look at the Recent Comments bar anymore. D: ))
((56–I read the first line as, “We have spearmints to do in the earmuffs.” It makes about the same amount of sense.))
all of a suden bars of steel dropped down all around me i was in a cage! and i was liek oh no! you cna’t do this to me becuz i am rily rily powerful! so i bent the steel with my mind and stepped out of the bars
are you done yet you stupid face evil smur! i shouted, my voice ringing thru the cavern
no! it shouted back
then get on with it becuse i have better things to do with my time llike save my 1 tur luv i yelled, looking at my perfecto nails. i didn’t like the gold and pink so i changed them itno dark purple with my mind powerse becus i cna shapeshift like that. but i am naturally pretty i can just make myself prettier
and then a sphindx leaped out at me! i drew my lightning sword htat also has fire and whips and was redy to kil it, but it just looked at me and saiyd you have to solve a riddle.
ok i said but i kept my lightning sword that also has fire and whips close by just in case
((I love how the spelling and grammar is slowly getting worse and worse. I predict that within a month, it’ll be a bunch of long strings of meaningless gibberish.))
((I still don’t know what “DER IMPRTNOT” means. Unless it’s “They’re important”.))
((That’s probably it, yeah.))
The sphinkx grinnned eviliy at me. “Ur riddle is … WHO DO U LOVE BERTTER? ATHRUR OR WADLO?”
“No! Im not ready two make that choice it maeks me have ANGST” i whailed.
Then Arhtur was there!! and Walldo was their!!! And we were all foalting in an aewsome vortex!
Teh sphinxs evil green eyes gloewd at me and suddinly … I REGOCNISED ITS VOICE IT WAS THE EVEL PREP VOICE FROM BEFORE!!!! “U have 2 choice between thesse 2 hott guys because the 1 u don”t pick will DIE. In a HORRABLE MANNOR.”
“Pleaze choose me Senerity,” pleadid Arhtur his eyes full of tears. “I love u more than life itself. And aslo i need 2 drink yur tears to live.”
“No Sarenety, hes triying to trick u!” sed Wadlo. “I am a sexxy dark angel and i can keep u safe from Dalleks and sphynkxs.”
I HAD TO CHOOSE!
And then I’m like OMG!!!!!
Waldo, did you just say you can protect me from sufunkses???? So prtct me from dis 1!!!!!!!!”. I say reLly sexilly. I’m really eksited because this means I won’t haf 2 chose!!!!!!!
And Waldeys like “Fine, but only if you choose me afterward anyway, and you force Artur to go away!!!!
And I’m like noooooo I can’t chose!!1111. So then I fainted agin, and Waldo just stares at me…
((This is almost unbearable.))
((Like I said.))
((All GAPAS get free squid, Brain Bleach, cake, and grief counseling once the story is over.))
Psssccchh, “once the story is over”. Obviously this is going to go on faster and even longer than the BA did *Insert maniacal laugh here*
((Cake and SFTDP, I forgot the parantheses))
((I shall concur. My English Nut is writhing in agony. On the other hand, I’m also laughing hysterically.))
((Random idea: When we finish the story, maybe it should end with Serenity and friends floating in space, singing “Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life”.))
((But there’s no sound in… of course.))
Wen I wok up Walldo and artur were fighting each other and the sphinx it was a THREE WAY EPIC BATTEL!!!1!!!1 I cried no dont kill each other becuz i sitll didndt’ want to choose but i still wanted them to kill the sphinx for me anyways and oh it was terribul. I had angst. and cried and it ruinded my makeup so I looked hideaous So I covered my face and creid more “oh no I look ugly and prepy and i want to kil myself rihgt no.
Tehn artur came over to me and huggedme and i was happy he left hte fight fo rme but WHY DIDNT WALDO COME TOo????? becuz i wans’t really hideous i just made them think taht even hwen cryign I am still teh most beutifulest gjirl in 21 dimesnions.
I kep on cryin an dey kept fightting but finely i stopped and wiv a few deep breathes, shuddring lyk a vibrating jackhammer I mustard the strength to cast a spell (see im not perfect i forget about my magical powaz a lot, its a curse and evil sorcerr put on me) and the speehinksx went liek PROFROOMYDOOM!! and burst into a million pieces, which got on my clothes.
“EEk! i screemed, therse clothes cost $1344!!! rthey;re my best outfit!”
then I turned to the two most amazing love intersts of my lyfe. “See!” i shouted, “im not a girly girl!!! i can fight for myself!”
(($1334? They must have been oon sale. My Mary Sue never wears anything cheaper than 24435 dollars.))
Mine donates all money she ever receives and doesn’t need to survive to charity. Then again, she’s a rather different sort of Mary Sue…
((I was being sarcastic. The Mary Sue I was describing was more of an antagonist…))
((I keep on forgetting which suitor is which…))
((They’re supposed to be interchangeable, making her indecision more annoying.))
ten teh spinks thru a bunch of sox at artour! artur ran 2 get tem but ten teh sxphin jumpd on him n sitted on his cehst.
“OH NO” showted artour. “THE SOCK RUSE WAS A…… DISTACTION”
((Is this thread dead already? Come on guys, this should be the easiest RRR to add to, it doesn’t even have to make sense!))
i then grabbed all the sox (all of them! there were no sox for anyone else to grab) and turned them itno spears with my sykik powers so that we could kill the sfinks to deeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaeeeeeeeeeth!!!!!!!!
((so many Homestuck references that I only now understand XD))
Wadlo stabbd teh final blow 2 the sfeenkses. It roled over an dyed til it waz as dedd as a dornale..
Idk if I mentioned but my majick powaz r soo strong dat sumtimes i doo magik n stuff by misteak wo thinking. This hapent now n I aksidently disapparated us all to diggon ally which us whare hairy Potter getz his skool suplies.
” Oops” I sed whenn I noticd the diggon alley.Â
“well well b qsafe here cause the daleks and sphibxes and al dont knoe were here” sead arhtur “true” I reeplyed.
“let’s go to higwarts,” wadlo suggests, pointing to the castle which sits on teh musty horizin.
“0kayy” i said checkinh my hair in a hand meeror incase it messed up but it wasent. K telepored us agaien only this time on prupose, and we endted ip insside tge castles loby.
Dumblydoor stride tords us. “What ru… People doing?!?!” H3 asked.
” please sir” sed me, “we need a place to stay the night.” akshully we dident, but my psychic powerz were telling me that there was a secret I needd to unkovr a hogwarts so we needed ta stay.Â
“Okey,” sed Dubmldoor. “U can all stay in the Slitheryn common room cause u look like Stanist goffs. Just stay away from teh … PREPPS!!! from Grifondor.”
“We wil” I sed. Athrur and Walldo nodded bcause they were politee gentleman. Than we went off to the Slitherynn common room!
*cough*
tHen we went 22 the slithren common room and it was Full of HOT SLYYYTHYREN GUYS!!!!!!1!!
And Dryco Malfoy was their and he was a warewolf noww.
THIS
IS
A
MASTERPIECE
HOW DID THIS ESCAPE MY ATTENTION FOR SO LONG I AM DYING
((Should we birng it back from teh deaD like Harry Potter?))
draco mlafory turned to look at me with a sparkle in his eye which was teh color of the ocean after a super violent storm
“Ohemgee” I squealed in a totally awesome way,
“omg that was not a weak feminine squeal at all” said arthour “you are really a strong indepentent femail character and that is why ii love you”
“me too” says wlado, “i love how your eyes are a beautiful dark color”
‘hey sreneity’ said dracy malfoy seductively
i left arthour and wlado and leaped across the slyterin common room to the waiting arms of draco malfyo. we kissed passionately.!
then harry potter burst into teh story and shouted “ITS OVER SLYTHERINS WE FOUND YOU”
and i was like “oh no its not!’ and blasted him with my PSYCHIC POWERS whcih i had gained full use of. aarthour said “even if you do not love me i will still protect you”
wadlo wasl ike “me two!” and they began to blast the gryffindors with their powers
“have you ever used a magic wnad” Draco asked me
“nope” i said and kissed him as the gryffindor/slythrin battle raged around us
“then you wont be able to,, it takes years o f training” he said and prepared to protect me with his powers
“wait let me try” i said and held teh wand “petrificus totalus!” i yelled sexily and felt a strange power within me awaken!! and then every gryffindor in the room became petrified!!!
“omg you have SPESHUL POWERS”
“do i really!” i said and the power of his words was so gr8 i f8nted in his sexy arm.s.
((How did we live without this?))
((I never really looked at this thread before. Part one of my brain is laughing and thinking of possibly contributing. Part two of my brain is protesting that it thinks that I literally cannot write this badly, even intentionally. Part three is running screaming in the other direction. Part four is oozing out my ears.))
((SFTDP. In other words, keep up the good -and amusing- work, guys!))