Mystery Quote!
“on a totally unrelated topic, how do you feel about things that your aunt gave you and you don’t know what they are?â€
Oh, and to quote Piggy, “You’re on MB. That’s not mysterious at all.”
-“I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you’re twenty minutes.â€
-“This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.â€
-“Borrow money from a pessimist – they don’t expect it backâ€
-“When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before.â€
-“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.â€
What’s the wombat treatment?
I dislike telemarketers immensely. If this wombat treatment can throw them off track and make them say something not in their script I’m all for it.
*grins*
AlpacaLips once really dismayed a telemarketer by telling my mom that the recording/robot sounded extremely human.
This is a story I heard from my friend, who has the same English teacher as me but a different period.
Someone’s phone went off in class, and the teacher answered it. It was some guy who was doing a survey and wanted to talk about education. The teacher argued with him for a good five minutes, then asked him, “Do you like vegetables?” The caller, confused, said, “Uh… Not really, no.” “Okay,” said my teacher, “Go eat some home-grown vegetables, then call back and we can talk about education.”
This teacher also answers his phone by saying “House of Blues.”
“Good news. I figured what that thing you just incinerated did. It was a morality core they installed after I flooded the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin, to make me stop flooding the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin. So get comfortable while I warm up the neurotoxin emitters.â€
“Look: we’re both stuck in this place. I’ll use lasers to inscribe a line down the center of the facility, and one half will be where you live, and I’ll live in the other half. We won’t have to try to kill each other or even talk if we don’t feel like it.â€
“Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said “Goodbye†and you were like “No way!†And then I was all “We pretended we were going to murder you?†That was great!â€
“Where are we going? Are you coming back? What’s that noise? Is that a gun? Do you smell something burning? Ooooohh… what’s in heeeere?â€
“When I said deadly neurotoxin, the deadly was in massive sarcasm quotes. I could take a bath in this stuff. Put in on cereal, rub it right into my eyes… honestly, it’s not deadly at all… to me. You, on the other hand, are going to find its deadliness… a lot less funny. â€
“The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe testing environment. In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice. For instance: the floor here will kill you. Try to avoid it.â€
“Time out for a second. That wasn’t supposed to happen. Do you see that thing that fell out of me? What is that? It’s not the surprise. I’ve never seen it before! Never mind. It’s a mystery I’ll solve later… by myself, because you’ll be dead. â€
“You are kidding me. Did you just stuff that Aperture Science Thing-we-don’t-know-what-it-does into an Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator?”
“You think you’re doing some damage? Two plus two is…Ten. IN BASE FOUR! I’M FINE!”
“This is your fault. I’m going to kill you. And all the cake is gone. You don’t even care.”
“Momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between portals. In layman’s terms, speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out.”
~Quotes from Portal, the best cake-oriented game ever.
Ah ah ah! You got the second to last quote wrong. It’s “This is your fault. It didn’t have to be like this. I’m not kidding now, turn back or I will kill you. I’m going to kill you. And all the cake is gone. You don’t even care, do you?”
…Shut up, I don’t even have the game so I’m entitled to getting it wrong since I use sites to find the quotes.
“Please note that we have added a consequence for failure. Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an ‘unsatisfactory’ mark on your official testing record, followed by death. Good luck!”
“Did you know you can donate one or all of your vital organs to the Aperture Science self esteem fund for girls? It’s true!”
“The Enrichment Center is committed to the well being of all participants. Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test. Thank you for helping us help you help us all.”
“If you feel lightheaded from thirst, feel free to pass out. An intubation associate will be dispatched to revive you with peptic salve and adrenaline.”
“Have I lied to you? I mean, in this room?”
“Keep doing whatever it is you think you’re doing. Killing you and giving you good advice aren’t mutually exclusive. The rocket really is the way to go.”
“That thing you burned up isn’t important to me. It’s the fluid catalytic cracking unit. It made shoes for orphans. Nice job breaking “I’d just like to point out that you were given every opportunity to succeed. There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend the Companion Cube. Of course, he couldn’t come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn’t come either because you don’t have any other friends. Because of how unlikeable you are. It says so here in your personnel file: Unlikeable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikeable loner whose passing shall not be mourned. ‘Shall not be mourned.’ That’s exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted. So that’s funny, too.”
“Speaking of curiosity, you’re curious about what happens after you die, right? Guess what? I know! You’re going to find out first-hand before I can finish telling you, though, so I won’t bother. I’ll give you a hint: you’re going to want to pack as much living as you possibly can into the next couple of minutes.”
“I have your brain scanned and permanently backed up in case something terrible happens to you… which it’s just about to. Don’t believe me? Here. I’ll put you on. Hello! That’s you! That’s how dumb you sound! You’ve been wrong about every single thing you’ve ever done, including this thing. You’re not smart. You’re not a scientist. You’re not a doctor. You’re not even a full-time employee. Where did your life go so wrong?”
“Your entire life has been a mathematical error. A mathematical error I’m about to correct.”
“That thing is probably some sort of raw sewage container. Go ahead and rub your face all over it.”
“Maybe you should marry that thing since you love it so much, do you want to marry it? Well I won’t let you! How does that feel?”
Sorry. I’m just really obsessed with correcting people’s quotes. Here’s one from the developers’ commentary: “And I want to recreate the portal cake recipe, so I can make the cake, and put Portal on it, and serve it to my friends.” -Ellen McLain voice of GLaDOS and the turrets. I’m not making this up. I heard it myself.
Interviewer: “Is your hair real?”
George: “Our hair’s real, lady. Is yours?”
I’ve found this with John and Ringo saying stuff in-between, but I left it out.
Interviewer: “How do you sleep with your hair that long?”
Ringo: “How do you sleep with your arms and legs still hooked on?”
Interviewer: “How many of you are bald, that you had to wear those wigs?”
Paul: “Oh, we’re all bald. Deaf and dumb, too.”
Here’s an …interesting one. I don’t recall the source.
The optimist sees the twin lights at the end of the tunnel.
The pessimist sees the darkness in the tunnel.
The realist sees the train at the end of the tunnel-
And the train driver sees three fools standing on the tracks!
(me) Dogs, really?
(Pseudonym) They eat people!!
(me) Birds, really?
(Pseudonym) They eat people!!
(me) Pseudonym, really?
(Pseudonym) I eat people!!– Pseudonym and I at the Ice rink.
“Here that? That’s the sound of forgiveness.”
“That’s the sound of people drowning Carl.”
“That’s what forgiveness sounds like. Screaming and then silence.”
– Llamas With Hats
“I just like the bloodiness. It’s so pretty. Shiny, and glimmery. Dripping down like water, but it looks so nice. The little pools by someone’s decapitated head.” – Enceladus.
“Oh my sainted socks.” – vanillabean3.141
“*eats garlic flavoured f+h*”- Keiffer
“The major problem- one of the major problems, for there are several- one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of whom manages to get people to let them do it to them. To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it.
To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.”
–Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
Thought y’all would like this one, it’s from my DW book, The Taking of Chelsea 426. I immediately thought of you guys. Right before being reminded of a TW fanfic I once read…..But we’re not going there.
‘Sonic screwdriver,” said the Doctor, holding it up to show the children. ‘Just about the handiest thing in the universe. After a small towel. You can never go wrong with a small towel.’
Pseudo: At least you don’t intellectually resemble a jellyfish.
Me: Who intellectually resembles a jellyfish?
Pseudo: Me.
Me: Who said that?
Pseudo: Me.
SIXTEEN HOURS LATER
Me: Joas, you intellectually resemble a jellyfish! *cracks up laughing*
Joas: *not getting it* A jellyfish? How?? ( Because everybody calls him a turtle. )
Me: *cracks up more*
Okay, here’s the set up: We’re talking about my math teacher’s pants. They were blue/black but sometimes they look black and sometimes they look blue. And it drives everyone INSANE.
Math teacher: “Guys. Out of my pants, and on to the proof!”
Okay. maybe you had to be there.
“The database hates you right now. The entry might exist or it might not exist. We would clear this mystery up for you, if we could get to the database. We tried to look it up, but the database puked up an error. ”
~TvTropes
“Who’s that guy?”-my mum, pointing at my Twilight poster
Me: “The guy in the moon’s Edward Cullen.”
“Yes, but who’s the other one?”
“Jacob the werewolf.”
“What’s she doing with him? I thought she was after Edward.”
“She is, but he left because he thought she’d be safer, and she was really depressed, then she started h anging out with Jacob and he wanted to be her boyfriend, and this other vampire who hates her because Eward killed her mate came after her, and so did this other vampire, and the werewolves killed him…” *laughs hysterically**recovers a bit* “…then Alice had a vision of Bella dead, and Edward went off to commit suicide…” *gives up*
My mum:
Me: At least New Moon actually has a plot. Twilight is just OMG hot vampire.
“Fun fact: bacon can help you cure hangovers!”
-me, on various occasions after I learned that
“Well then you wouldn’t be here, would you? So you can’t be here. Q.E.D – you’re not really here!”
-Jack Sparrow
“Love, that is a dinghy. My vessel is magnificent and fierce and huge-ish, and – gone. Why is it gone?”
-Jack
“I said to myself, think like Jack.”
“This is what you’ve arrived at? Lead Beckett to Shipwreck Cove so as to gain his trust, accomplish your own ends? It’s like you don’t know me at all, mate.”
-Wii and Jack
“I once sailed with a geezer lost both of his arms and part of his eye.”
“What did you call him?”
“…Larry.”
-Jack and Gibbs
“I leave you people alone for just a minute and look what happens, everything’s gone to pot!”
-Jack
“James Norrington, do you fear death? *gets stabbed by him* I’ll take that as a ‘no’.”
-Davy Jones
“Barbossa! Marry us!”
*after he stabs a fish-man* “I’M A LITTLE BUSY AT THE MOMENT!”
-Elizabeth and Barbossa
“Ladies, will you please shut it! Listen to me. Yes, I lied to you. No, I don’t love you. Of course it makes you look fat. I’ve never been to Brussels. It is pronounced ‘egregious’. By the way, no – I’ve never actually met Pizarro, but I love his pies. And all of this pales to utter insignificance in light of the fact that my ship is once again gone, savvy?”
-Jack
“You’re mad.”
*half a sentence*”If I wasn’t, this’d probably never work.”
-Beckett and Jack
“Ye can do nothing without the key!”
“I already have the key!”
“…No you don’t! Ha ha!”
“Oh, that key.”
-Davy and Jack
Evil band teacher (discussing “Feed the Birds”): Play this lightly. It’s about birds. It shouldn’t sound like elephants.
Me: Why can’t we feed the elephants?
(In Scholastic Bowl, discussing the idea of thesis and antithesis)
X (member of the team): But can you give me an example of this?
Coach: Yes. Thesis: X doesn’t check his e-mail. Antithesis: X thinks I should check to see if he is on the e-mail list. Synthesis: I don’t do anything, and X should check his e-mail more often.
(We were making gingerbread houses as a wing activity, and our group’s was just pieces of “gingerbread”, frosting, and candy scattered everywhere.)
Girl: That doesn’t look like a gingerbread house.
Me: No, it’s a gingerbread work of modern art.
“No, I think it’s more that they’re grapes in a metaphorical sense.”
-A friend.
“Punch me. No, you’re not doing it hard enough!”
-Another friend
“And I’m going to get a wad of paper that I can spit out so it looks like a tooth…”
-My friend, who has previously been referred to as ‘Fred’
“Did you just make laser noises? That’s it. Out. Out of the car.”
– One of my youth group leaders. He wasn’t serious.
I’ve got interesting friends.
Mystery Quote!
“Let’s just say that if complete and utter chaos were lightning, then he’d be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armor and shouting ‘All gods are bastards.’ Got any food?”
You have three guesses. You probably only need one.
IZZA SEAL!
~Me, misunderstanding a DeviantArt title
Nananana na na na na nana, nananana na nanana! Nananana na na nananana-na na na. Na nanana nananana na nana nana. Nanananana na na na na, na na na na nana!
~Me, attempting to sing the Mario theme song (or part of it)
Hnhnhnhnhnnnn~
~Me, doing a weird laugh
It’s time to take this fight to the water!
~My brother, playing Super Mario Galaxy, attempting to murder Brr Bits
IGOR BELIEVES HE CAN SPONGE A CLOUD! AND I’M A PRINCESS! Geez, you ought to be able to properly quote your own sister, let alone call her by the right NAME…OK, I’m SO going to post the Freddie Mercury thing!
Me: Dad, is the pineapple ripe yet?
Dad: Yes.
Me: Dad, are the bananas ripe yet?
Dad: Yes.
Me: Dad, are the corn muffins ripe yet?
Dad: Yes, wait… what?!
“Hey…it’s….GEORGE!” –me after seeing your avatar. My parents didn’t even bother to ask me what was going on this time. (I feel like you and Pseudo and me are part of some sort of cult club of George-obsessed beings.)
“Not all who wander are lost.” –J.R.R. Tolkien. My new favourite quote.
“There aren’t many people who can ninja-roll out of a Snuggie!” –me, describing myself
“Awww, crap! The Sky Narwhal fell out of the sky!” –me
Oh my goodness, Silver Lining. I certainly do! (Although as soon as I heard you could all come to the kokon, my cough mysteriously disappeared. All the same, I can haz coffdrop?
We eat craziness for breakfast!
We eat craziness for lunch!
We eat craziness for dinner!
And we eat craziness for brunch~
We eat craziness for breakfast!
We eat craziness for breakfast!
We eat insanity for breakfast!
~Me
Me: X, how would you describe the stupid Peach’s Castle battle?
X: Spiky and black hole-y.
Me: I’ve taught you well.
X: …I hate you. I so hate you.
Me: Yeah, whatever.
X: SHUUUUT! I mean shut up.
Me: Argalarghmmm…
~Me and my little brother
“Take this to defend yourself – it is a powerful weapon.”
“…This is a pen.”
“Only use it in times of severe distress.”
“…This is a pen!”
-The Lightning Thief movie trailer (I’m liking the book so far and I can’t wait to see the movie)
“Planet Earth. Or, as the rest of the omnivores call it, the orb of dreamers, the occupants of which spend so much time asleep, and dreaming. Their vast imaginations humming away, charged with creative energy. Where does it all go? Up through a cerebrumbillical cord, where it collects and melds with all the other dreamer’s energy.
And something wonderful happens. It forms a world… an ethereal dreamscape of adventure and possibilities. An abstract plane of beautiful wonderment, just waiting to be explored….
And you can go there now.”
-Opening of LittleBigPlanet
“Oscar gone Wilde.” – My English teacher last year.
My Cross Country coach: “Okay, now the one thing you guys have to do this season is you have to beat John Glenn (High School).”
Me: “That’ll be easy. What is he now, 80?”
*smiles happily* I just got back from this three-day honor band thingummy. I am now addicted to band, and hope I can join the Youth Orchestra at my music school next year. I’ve got some great quotes from the last three days.
“Percussion! Measure… #, you’ve gotta sound like cavemen.”
-The conductor for our band”
“Very good, especially Lee. But… can you make it sound like, a posh caveman?”
-The conductor after we played through that section again
“It’s gotta sound sexy at Measure #.”
-Conductor
“Why, you rascal you!”
-Conductor to percussionist who said on a scale of 0-10 he was between 8-10 and who pretty obviously wasn’t that tired
“Okay, take a break. I want you to still have faces at the end of this weekend.”
-Conductor, giving us a 15-minute break in which we were not allowed to play our instruments but we practiced anyway…
“You’re the seventh grader?!”
-Tim, a ninth grade clarinetist who sits next to me
“You’re in seventh grade, right? Hey, M! She’s a seventh grader!”
-Karen, an eight grade clarinetist who sits on the other side of me
“Hey. Hold on a second. You’re that seventh grader, right?”
-Jeff, the first chair clarinetist. (he has the most beautiful sound ever)
“Keep it up, Fireh, or I’ll cry.”
-Katie, the chair of the second clarinets
“Be a second Jeff! No, better yet- be a first Fireh!!”
-Katie
“Hey, Masa! You get in the picture too!”
-Katie
“Why me? Wait, you’re not giving me a choice. Nevermind.”
-Masa (a first clarinet)
“You’re my best friend, congratulations! What was your name again?”
-Bri (bassoonist)
“Is she a creep?”
-Bri, talking about my little sister (who was acting very strangely in order to embarrass me in front of my friends. It doesn’t work. We just laugh at her and I look better because I put up with her. :D)
Can you tell I had a great time? I’m now going to post about it on the Random Thread.
‘No no no NO NO NO NO. RYAN. Do you SEE the hit there? Ryan, you are the GOD OF THUNDER.’
‘Okay…’
[We play the section again. Right as we get to that part, Miskavage cues, Ryan is the God of Thunder, and Miskavage shouts over the music:]
‘YES! YES! MORE! *makes claw hand and raises it to the heavens* AHAHAHAHAHAAAA!‘
-Miskavage and Ryan
Later:
‘No! NO! Ryan, you have to stop being the God of Thunder. Ian- Ian, now you are the God of Thunder. Ryan, you were only the God of Thunder for that last movement.’
“You’ve got to help each other, listen thru the band. We get thru this with help from each other”
-Mrs L, at which point “Oo, we get by with a little help from our friends” (Beatles) starts running through my head. I had quite a few brain bloopers.
Somebody on another site: “You don’t want to go to the Houston visitor center. It’s like NASA Disneyland.”
Me: “And I’m supposed to see that as a turn-off?”
To go into acting is like asking for admission to an insane asylum. Anyone may apply, but only the certifiably insane are admitted.
-Dr. Alex Marshall
An actor is at his best a kind of unfrocked priest who, for an hour or two, can call on heaven and hell to mesmerize a group of innocents.
-Alec Guinness
I would like to be going all over the kingdom…and acting everywhere. There’s nothing in the world equal to seeing the house rise at you, one sea of delightful faces, one hurrah of applause!
-Charles Dickens
“You want to buy roses. You need roses.” *jedi hand move*
“We’l just tell them that crocodiles from the amazon rainforest will eat them if they don’t buy our roses.”
“Fyi, you just sold your soul to M. for some potatoes with parsley.”
-Me. It all made sense in context.
“I’ve been to self-defense class. I’m dangerous!” *punches her hand with her fist, trying to look tough* “Oww, that hurt!”
“My sweater hurt me!”
-M. (not the one who bought L’s soul)
*is found by the person who is “it” in hide and seek*
“This is not the person you are looking for.” *jedi hand move*
“…..”
-I’m the one doing the jedi stuff, the one “….”ing is my friend A, I think.
Except that that irritating guy didn’t buy the roses *fury*
My friends and I pushed roses for 1h during the school dance. We get to keep our tips, so we should have earned about 5€. It was great fun- pouncing on people and telling them that their life would be fulfilled and bla, bla, bla if they bought a rose. We even sold 5 to the principal.
The online Thomas Jefferson Encyclopedia says that this quotation has not been found in any of Jefferson’s writings and can’t be traced back before 1986 (wiki . monticello . org/mediawiki/index.php/The_democracy_will_cease_to_exist).
*suspects that Robert is right*
And I’m not putting words in his mouth, I’m just giving him temporary credit. Methinks I should have said that earlier…
From my private stash. Sorry for lack of sources. Google is your friend.
The first time Darryl Virostko surfed waves as tall as three-story buildings at Mavericks, the legendary surf spot some 50 miles north of here, he was high on acid.
Up the close and down the stair,
In the house with Burke and Hare.
Burke’s the butcher, Hare’s the thief.
And Knox the man who buys the beef.
…it’s ’cause the other teams can’t stop staring at those damn pinstripes.
Meet me Croydon airport 4.30pm Wednesday.
Can’t act, slightly bald, also dances.
You’re going to have to jumble this around and make it sound smart.
“Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself; but talent instantly recognizes genius.”
“Life is like a violine, the music stops, but the string last forever.â€
“That’s a stupid metaphor.â€
“It’s not a metaphor it’s a simile.â€
I must down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by.
~ John Masefield, Sea-Fever
A singular disadvantage of the sea lies in the fact that after successfully surmounting one wave you discover that there is another behind it just as important and just as nervously anxious to do something effective in the way of swamping boats.
~Stephen Crane, The Open Boat (1894)
I thought you’d rather have a live donkey than a dead lion.
The Laws as they exist in a robot’s mind are not the written, verbal version usually quoted by humans, but abstract mathematical concepts upon which a robot’s entire developing consciousness is based.
Sincerity: “Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made.â€
Stars are not important, there is nothing interesting about stars. Streetlamps are very important because they’re so rare! As far as we know there’s only a few million of them in the universe, and they were built by monkeys… I’d much rather be a rising ape than a falling angel
O night, spread thy wings over me as the imperishable stars
“it’s okay! we’re acting”
‘There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, “Do trousers matter?”‘
‘The mood will pass, sir.’
‘But there are no lions in the Scottish Highlands,’ and the other one answers ‘Well, then that’s no McGuffin!’
The one about pinstripes is from Catch Me if You Can.
“You know why the Yankees always win?”
“Because they have Mickey Mantle?”
“No. It’s because the other teams can’t stop staring at those damn pinstripes.”
EARTH HAS 4 CORNER
SIMULTANEOUS 4-DAY
TIME CUBE
IN ONLY 24 HOUR ROTATION.
4 CORNER DAYS, CUBES 4 QUAD EARTH- No 1 Day God
–from this time cube website, which is insane in all the wrong ways. If you can understand that sentence any better than me, please, tell me what it means.
Patriotism is supporting you country all the time and your government when it’s right–Mark Twain
Well, it seems like this Gene Ray guy thinks that the Earth makes four full rotations around its axis in 24 hours, but that doesn’t make much sense either…
Me: “I didn’t smile. I made a zombie face. So I was a dancing zombie.”
D: “Did you wear a red jacket?”
Me: “No I am not Michael!”
This was in gym today. We were doing what our idiotic teacher calls “warmups” that look like something out of a five-year-old’s dance class. We were referencing Plants V.S. Zombies.
Me: “Ain’t got nothing but love, babe. Eight days a week!”
Sister: “Will you shut up?”
Me: “Okay.” Five minutes later.
Me: “She’s got a ticket to ride, but she don’t care!”
Sister: “Can you shut up?”
Me: I can, but I don’t exactly want to. Five minutes later.
Me: “Help! I need somebody. Help! Not just anybody. Help! You know I need someone. Help!”
Sister: “Just shut up already! You’re going to end up like one of those people who sing to them self like a, like a… crazy person!”
Me: “Why should sanity be the privilege of the humdrum?”
Sister: *blank stare*
This happens in my family, too, but more along the lines of the following.
Me: When I meet the wizard, once I prove my worth–
Sister: Abby, sing quieter, please.
Me: Sorry. Five minutes later
Me: Do you think the wizard is dumb? Or–
Sister: Stop it. We’re in a public place.
Me: I’m being quiet, and no one is listening, and all the other people are at least two aisles away.
Sister: …Stop being logical!
Me: –or like munchkins so small-minded?
Sister: Seriously. Stop. Five minutes later
Sister: …He’ll say to me I see who you truly are, a girl on whom I rely…
Me: On whom I can rely. It’s “can rely.”
Sister: A girl on whom… you got it stuck in my head. Great.
Me: AND THAT’S HOW WE’LL BEGIN, THE WIZARD AND I!
Sister: Shut up.
Excerpts from the classic “Underground Tunnels/Crisis of Worlds” Muse Academy RPG story arc:
“I hate to destroy this lovely piece of architecture, but all my friends are at stake, so…â€
*swings sledgehammer at fireplace* -IBEF
“‘Poison darts, eh?’ I said pointedly.” -Nora the Violinist
“And she blew up! BOOM goes Saturday!â€- Bookworm
“My plane got hijacked by Cthulhu cultists and…um… is this a bad time?â€- Eccentric the Afterthought
“Do not enter. Believe me, dude, you don’t want to.â€- Me
‘GET OUT OF MY HEAD, ESME WEATHERWAX!!!!!!!’ -Adeia
(When asked who she thinks is behind everything.)
“I think a Vogon, The Wicked Witch of the West, Bonnie and Clyde, Count Dracula, Sauron.”- Beatlesrockr
“Sorry about all the bunnies, booby-traps, and Nazis. I guess we should have paid closer attention when we were digging out the basement.”- Robert Coontz
My mom: “You smell like salad” *dangles salad leaves in my face*
~fireh
Mmhmm, I recruited her. She will now be known as Deathbringer. Or the cute bubblegum bunny.
~Me to RQ
Me: I joined it in 4th and 5th, which were the only years at was at the school. I could have done better, but I didn’t. School choirs usually aren’t all that great-sounding, thoguh.
Zinc: Thoguh. Interesting choice of words.
Me: …Shut up.
Zinc: Didja hear about the kid who died”impersonating” Gaara?
Me: Whaaat?
Zinc: Yeah. He somehow suffocated in a one-foot deep sand box. HE WAS TEN. FLIPPING TEN YEARS OLD.
Me: My question is more on the side of how’d he suffocate on a sandbox about a fourth his height?
Zinc: Yeah. His friends helped him. I suspect homicide.
Me: …I suppose that could happen.
On an unrelated note: My character posts in a color called Burly Wood.
Zinc: Sure, Gaara kills people with the sand, but he doesn’t stick his bloody head in it!
And the caking newspeople call it “Nah-rew-toh.” >:(
Me: Well, he wears sand armor, which is coating his head with sand…
Stupid newspeople, it’s Nar-rooh-toe!
Zinc: And a kid got suspended for bringing a Death Note to school.
What the heck?
Me: Are people far too obsessed with Death Note, and so believe that it’s real?
Zinc: Anger relief?
~Me and Zinc on Gmail
Hold on…..
What gives here? Who said you could quote me?
Didn’t you know that everything I say is copyrighted? (jk)
“Let’s go around selling unassembled snowmen to people!” -me
“Or how about selling popcorn to fundraise for your band?” -my mom, at which everyone laughed because I’m the “one-man-band”, literally. A homeschooled clarinetist, yes?
“If your characters were real they would form an angry mob against you. Mine would do the same… if any of them were still alive.”
– A Facebook flair I sent to my friend
“Very true, except the only character I left alive is the one with the most reason to punish me. That wouldn’t scare me, except that she has the ability to make me live forever and punish me eternally.”
– A message I wrote and sent with the aforementioned flair (The characters in question were those in a book my friend wrote and is currently trying to get published, and those in the parody I made for the sole purpose of torturing all of her characters.)
“The more posts I see by Witchneko, the more I am convinced of her awesomeness.”
-Me
I create dance numbers in my head.
~Me (I do, by the way)
Me: -sings stuff in the kitchen as she gets a drink-
Little Brother: Be quiet, you’ll scare Cakey!
M: -drops cup in sink-
LB: …You scared Cakey.
~Conversation
My hands are numb, and I’M LOVING IT!
~Me, having a snowball fight in FL with no gloves
We don’t love you anymore…
~Me, talking to a group of kids who finished something and went to the back of the line
I have a towel on my head, I have a towel on my head, I have a towel on my head, and I keep it there all day!
~Me
Ohhhh, why am I attempting to think of cool things to say only for this thread?
~Me
Matt, I challenge you to a stupid dance-off!
~Me
Thanks, Random. -does her little crazy dance- I love it when people know I’m awesome. -gives hug-
“And then you strike him with your riding crop! Beat him about the head and shoulders! And say what a cad he is!†– My history teacher explaining how much trench warfare failed
“I’m going to ride it like a hearse!” My little sister, I think she meant ‘horse.’
Dad: “I’m going to the store to get buns and burgers.”
Me: “Why do we have to eat Bunsen-burners?”
Dad: “No, we’re eating buns and burgers.”
Me: “Why do we have to eat buns and burgers? I thought you said we we’re having cake?”
Dad: “Oh, yes. I did say that.”
*leaves* *calls home*
Dad: “I never said that!”
*comes home*
Dad: “I bought the cake.”
Me: “Where are the Bunsen-burners?”
Dad: “Shriblefargum *mumblemumblemumble* Gasherargh.”
“Come on!”
“I’m coming!”
“No, you’re not.”
“Fine. I have every intention of preparing to come as soon as possible.”
-My brother and me. My logic is incredible, no?
My half-brother: “Why was I a fool?”
My stepmom: “Because you were dancing outside in your underwear!”
The sad thing is, that was absolutely true. It started snowing, but it wasn’t cold enough to accumulate.
C, on SpaceVidcast: “I can see the shuttle from where I’m standing. I’m here for work, but I don’t want to tell you exactly what my job is, because I don’t want you all to be jealous.”
Everybody: “C’mon, tell us what you do!”
C: “I work for a government agency. Four letters. That’s all I’m saying.”
Me: “OSHA? *Bats eyelashes innocently*”
Two of my friends’ and my rendition of Little Bunny Foo-Foo (via IM):
“LITTLE BUNNY FOO-FOO”
“HOPPIN’ THROUGH THE FOREST”
“PICKIN’ UP ALL THE FIELD MICE”
“AND BOPPIN’ ‘EM ON THE HEAD!!!”
“Then down came the goooood fairy and sheeeee said…”
“LITTLE BUNNY FOO-FOO I DON’T WANNA SEE YOU”
“PICKIN’ UP ALL THE FIELD MICE AND BOPPIN’ ‘EM ON THE HEAD!”
“Now I’ll give you THREEEEEEEEEEE chances to STOP that behavior…”
“Or else I’ll hit you with a dust pan!”
“And you can be Paulie!”
“What?”
“No, or else you’ll be Yoko Ono.”
“What?”
FMOM: “I really do not envy Charles Bolden.”
Me: “Yeah. I want to give the guy a good hug.”
FMOM: “He doesn’t need a hug, he’s a Marine.”
Me: “I guess you’re right. That wasn’t creepy, was it?”
FMOM: “No, a 16-year-old girl wanting to hug a 50-something man she’s not related to isn’t creepy. Only the inverse is creepy.”
“Friends are like potatoes; If you eat them, they die.”
“Dinosaurs are only so mean because their arms are to short to hug people.”
Both from unrelatedcaptions. I don’t know where they’re from before then.
My brother: “That crazy volcano is funny!”
Me: “What crazy volcano?”
My brother (without pointing): “That crazy volcano!”
Me: “What crazy volcano?!”
My brother: “That crazy volcano!!”
Me (pointing): “You mean that crazy volcano?”
My brother: “Yes!”
Me: “That’s Cookie Monster!!!”
My Dad (quoting something he read online): “The Fail is strong with this one.”
(We were looking at my screen as I browsed flair on Facebook.)
“What’d you have to get eaten by a clam for?!”
-My brother (There was no context, but it made sense in the situation.)
“Yeah, well I think puncturing them with your fingernails to get red juice would work better than squeezing. For friends and strawberries.”
-Me, responding to something my dad said.
My brother: “Squeak! Squeak! Squeak!”
Me: *continues typing*
My brother: “I sound like a baby wolf!”
Me: “How?”
Mystery quote (honestly, I doubt anybody will get this one):
“Careful, Fox – you never know what a cornered beast might do.”
“Might jump… like a COUGAR!”
“Through a study of French 3 students will endeavour to …
5. Gain an understanding of French mineral water.”
–My French course outline. I am not making this up.
Me: “Robert Pattinson is uglier than the guys on my bus.”
J: “THe guys on your bus must be really hot, then.”
Don’t worry, she was joking. I hope.
“Sure, lets go see Face-Punch. Apparently the trailer tag line is ‘Pow pow, punch faces.'”
“I know it’s a joke movie, but that actually sounds a helluva lot better than this [New Moon].”
(Writing in a diary)
“He said I should write my feelings in a journal. But since I don’t know what a journal is, I’ll use my diary instead.” -Punky Brewster.
“Love is like standing on wet cement …the longer you stay, the harder it is to leave and you can never let go without leaving your F.O.O.T.P.R.I.N.T.S.”
“if your wish does not come true, something better is meant for you.”
“Those nights when you can’t sleep are because your awake in someone else’s dream’s”
“Three simple rules;
1) If you don’t go after what you want, you will never have it.
2) If you don’t ask, the answer will always be no.
3) If you don’t step forward, you will always be in the same place .”
“When you feel like letting go, remember why you held on for so long.”
“Today, When I was walking home and I saw a squirrel staring at me from the sidewalk. Deciding to indulge the creature, I stood there staring back for a good five minutes. Then I realized it was plastic.”
“What’s a PoPo?” Tacky Glue
“A pointless post. If you do it, the PoPoPo-” me
“PoPoPo?” Tacky Glue
“Pointless Post Police. If you PoPo, they’ll fine you chocolate.” me
“I don’t get it? Find you chocolate?” Tacky Glue
“Fine you chocolate, fine you!!” me.
“I know I’m really late. I’m sorry. My cell was off… it got eaten. I mean broken.” Ichigo from Tokyo Mew Mew, explaining to her boyfriend why she was three hours late for her date without mentioning that she was fighting aliens at the time.
“Maybe you’re no son of Poseidon.”
*Percy then rips some water out of the silos and smacks Luke inna FACE before making a trident out of the remaining water*
“Yeah – I think I am the son of Poseidon.”
Mystery Quote that should be pretty easy: “With the big bouncing inflatable green ball, you will never not ever not say that you don’t not have the big bouncing inflatable green ball!” –???
“I did not hit you, I simply high-fived your face.”
I’m not deaf, just ignoring you.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you … but it’s still on the list
I’m not crazy: my reality is simply different from yours.
Come to the dark side: We have cookies!
Welcome to the dark side. Are you surprised we lied about the cookies?
Where have I heard the ‘high-fived your face’ one? It sounds like Calvin and Hobbes, but I don’t remember the context, and it seems like that one would have to have context, and I’m rambling and where have I heard it before?
I know, but I’ve heard it before and I can’t remember where. I generally remember stories, even the mini comic strip ones, fairly well, so I would probably remember it if I’d read it in Calvin and Hobbes.
“I blew up the plums
that were in the icebox
and which you were probably saving for breakfast
forgive me
I like fire”
-Theodora Goss
It is a terrible thing, this kindness that human beings do not lose. Terrible because when we are finally naked in the dark and cold, it is all we have. We who are so rich, so full of strength, wind up with that small change. We have nothing else to give.
– Ursula K. Le Guin
“…that country where it is always turning late in the year. That country where the hills are fog and the rivers are mist; where noons go quickly, dusks and twilights linger, and midnights stay. That country composed in the main of cellars, sub-cellars, coal-bins, closets, attics, and pantries faced away from the sun. That country whose people are autumn people, thinking only autumn thoughts. Whose people passing at night on the empty walks sound like rain.”
— Ray Bradbury (October Country)
” ‘We’re in the neighborhood, and we’d love to chat with you about your basement!’ That’s an odd coincidence, because just this morning I was thinking about how much I’d love to talk to the police about stalkers watching my basement.”
-me, regarding one of those brochures people stick on your doorknob every other day
Someone (not sure who) talking about the Beatles – “Great… original… novel… talented… sincere… natural… honest…sweet… not conceited… good singers… ‘the most’… great personalities… real good guys… They create unity among teenagers…They never put another group down… They take our mind off things and put a little fun in the world… George has sexy eyebrows.”
No, I didn’t say it. I meant that I posted that under P_M’s name.
But they are.
Actually, George is just totally awesome all around. But you knew that already.
“But I suppose burning your house down would be a great way to get your mind off something for a while. ”
“It’s probably a good cure for hiccups, too.”
-Piggy and Robert on an old R&R thread.
About the Beatles:
“Once upon a time there were four young fellows who didn’t sing too well separately, but were even louder together.” – ?
I do not agree. /
muselover: What could your pastor have meant? It must have been a pun. I agree that coexistence, or existence in general, is much more pleasant with tea in it. And although I don’t play golf, I suppose golf tees make existence more pleasant, too. Still, surely he couldn’t have been talking about either of those things.
Wait—was he referring to those “COEXIST” bumper stickers on which each letter looks like a different religious symbol? That must be it.
Me: Why am I dancing around the kitchen?
Pseudo: Because you like dancing.
Me: That’s right. But I’m not very good at it. But I like it, and that’s good, because that’s what makes the world go ’round.
A very strange conversation I had with the class “bully” (I guess that’s what you could call him):
Me: What do you do for fun?
M: I…bake. I cook.
Me: Besides that.
M: I play video games. And I play card games! And I play with pillows!!!
Conversation at lunch with my friends (we were all sharing recent dreams):
“Well your dreams are all Disney fairy tales compared to mine! I dreamt that I finally met Paul McCartney, and I got his autograph and everything, and then Sudo popped out of nowhere and shoved my head into Enceladus’ French horn in which Sudo vomited after hearing that Enc and Magnolia are going to get married! It was horrifying!”
My best friend: “Enc and Magnolia are getting married?! You’re right; that is horrifying.”
…And that’s why she’s my best friend. She says hello to you all, by the way.
Really, Sudo?
Apparently you’re much denser than I had thought. I won’t explain, that’s for sure. That would most likely be extremely embarrassing to SilverLining’s friend.
Ew, Sudo darling, that pout was not adorable. I will say that she is kind of obsessed with Enceladus. She’s got it into her head that he looks like a guy from our school with whom she also obsessed. (The guy is pretty good-looking, so it’s not like that’s insulting to Enc. If he cares.) But anyway! There’s your answer.
I know. I’m just pouting because you told me that my pout is not adorable, and I inferred that it must be gross or ugly or menacing, so I’m pouting menacingly because it is fun. Rar.
Rar yourself. I just don’t find pouts cute. I think they’re just…pouts.
Speller–Yes, it was Fame as in “I’m gonna live forever.” It was also the new one. (I haven’t seen the original.)
And so this isn’t a completely PoPo, I will now quote Bill Watterson: “Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.”
I have asked her this several times. Her answer? “Because I am lazy. And I also don’t have time to spend my entire life on the computer updating strangers about my life. Just kidding! Maybe.” Then she smiles and goes back to watching Fame.
Me:….. You mean the veterans? ….Ugh, Mom! I can’t believe you made me say that!
Me: I actually used to believe you when you used to tell me that you were a giraffe in a zoo untill Daddy came along and kissed you and you turned into a princess. I believed it until i was in second grade!?
(It’s true, sadly…. I’m so gullible.)
Janet(a character out of one of my stories): Are you sure you’re not a hallucination?
Mystery quote:
“So are you saying that somebody went to all the trouble to make you a crypt 10,000 years ago on the off chance that you would show up, walk in, and have a convenient heart attack?”
“The one that looks the most like Nobby Nobbs/ a primate/ not human is Ringo…
The one that looks a cute monkey is George…
The one with a fat face is John,
And the best looking one is Paul.”
-Me, explaining how to tell the Beatles apart. I’m scared that Silver Lining and Keiffer and Pseudonym are going to murder me in my sleep now.
Uh… well, I don’t agree with you… but I’m not going to murder you, because Pseudonym jinxed us, and we’re all going to die at the kokon. I could murder you then if you like?
John was cute for, like, a year, then he was weird looking. George is NOT CUTE! George is quite handsome but he is not cute. And Ringo does look like a primate.
I didn’t murder you the first time you said that, did I?
Although another way to find George (usually) is by looking for the most depressed-seeming one.
Also, I know Ringo is a primate. Once you said he looked like an ape, though.
It’s a story where one of the characters happens to be named Joel, and on Halloween, he and his friends decide to watch a B-movie and comment on it like MST3K “Because we already have a guy named Joel.”
“Did you just say I got my tonsils out?” Me, hearing someone or other wrong once again.
Then I said something like “Wouldn’t I remember getting my own tonsils out?” after whoever it was answered. But, I suppose, I wouldn’t remember.
“I had lunch with a chess champion the other day. It took him twenty minutes to pass the salt.”
-I don’t actually know. My thingy that produces quotes doesn’t produce who they’re by. Which means I have an interesting time figuring out if I actually know it every time one I know comes up. I’m pretty sure it just quoted Harry Potter, and I think it’s quoted Calvin and Hobbes before too, but I really can’t be sure.
I know that because my memory was recently refreshed. I was watching the MST3K movie Santa Claus, and a girl was talking to her mom, and there was an organ grinder in the background. So, of course, Tom Servo said, “WILL YOU SHUT THE BLOODY ORGAN GRINDER UP????”
“Goaded by the interference into a rage more than demoniacal, I withdrew my arm from her grasp and buried the axe in her brain. She fell dead upon the spot without a groan.”
Me: Hey, will you come with me to finish up some chem work? It’ll only take a minute.
A: Sure… unless the teacher will get mad because she doesn’t know me, I’m not her student…
Me: Well, she does have a security system that has all her students’ DNA coded in, and if the system doesn’t recognize you it pulls out the laser cannons, and– [A has her “almost actually believing this but in a little bit of doubt” face on] You’re actually believing this, aren’t you.
A: NO. [leaves]
Shaheim ( in Social Studies, talking to Ms. S ) Ms. S, are you a judge at History Day.
Ms. S. No, I’m the head!
Shaheim: The head judge?
LATER
Ms. S ( talking to Kellie ) They said you should have gotten some interviews in person with women veterans..
Shaheim: They could have interviewed my mother.
Ms. S. Oh, your mother was a soldier?
Shaheim: No. But she was going to be!
QuantumG: “As long as a copy of this recording exists, Ron McNair will live on.”
Me: “Am I a terrible person if that sentence made me think of ‘The Ring’?”
(Talking about the Jean-Michel Jarre song “Last Rondez-Vous (Ron’s Piece)”)
“Should we have stayed home and thought of here?” –Elizabeth Bishop. For some reason, I absolutely love that quote.
Quote of the day:
“t’s like a bird just regurgitated my brain into some kind of mush that a baby would eat. Then people are pelting it with sooooooo much incorrect info that it just simply hurts.” –Beautacious Kate
(This is from a story I’m Round Robining with my friends. Paraphrased, though.)
“Most people scream when they fall a long distance. 60% of me wanted to do just that, while the other 40% wanted to yell “Wheeeeeeee!” I decided to go with the latter.
Intelligence testing Yale lady (ITYL): “I’m going to read you four words. Name the two that are connected and tell me why.”
Me: “Okay.”
*We do several forgettable ones*
ITYL: “Liberal, conservative, idiot, ineffective.”
*Long pause*
Me: “Liberal and conservative are both part of the political spectrum.”
(This REALLY HAPPENED, I swear. I wonder how many people are actually serious and how many people make a political joke with that question)
We are watching a documentary about the oceans in science class. Mr. NotSoSharp is asking everybody questions and giving them candy if they get the right answer.
Mr. NotSoSharp: Paulo, how far can a penguin fly?
Paulo: Umm, three meters?
Class: *laughs*
Five minutes later, Mr. NotSoSharp feels bad for Paulo and asks him another question.
Mr. NotSoSharp: Paulo, how long can a shark hold its breath?
Paulo: Uh, twenty minutes?
Class: *laughs pants off*
Hey, that reminds me of when I watched this entirely unfunny video in Spanish class the other day. It was only funny to my classmates, who apparently think that the pinnacle of humor is a man riding on a burrito. (Really.)
This really happened in the car on the way to Staples today after school:
Me: “Hey mom, what’s the name of that big amusement park in California?”
Mom: “Disney Land.”
Me: “But isn’t that in Florida?”
Little Sister(LS): “No, that’s Disney World.”
Me: “Why don’t they just call them both Disney Land, then? It’s so confusing!”
Mom: “It’s a chain.”
Me: “Of amusement parks? That’s stupid.”
LS: “No it’s not stupid.”
*five minute intermission*
Me: “So [little sister], why did you choose Arizona for your book project?”
LS: “Well, it has cacti.”
Me: “Why didn’t you pick Nebraska?”
LS: “Because it has to be in the United States, duh.”
Mom: “That is in the United States.”
Me: “Yeah.”
Lola: *stares with mouth agape* “Really?!?!”
Me: “No duh, Sherlock.”
Mom: “Don’t talk like that to your sister.”
Me: *groan*
It really happened. I swear on my liver, it happened.
Hang on, wait, what? People don’t know that Nebraska is in the US? I mean, I know lots of people don’t/didn’t know Alaska is part of the US, but Nebraska????? *sigh* That’s just sad. But then, I could name all 50 states (occasionally having trouble remembering a few, but certainly would know if I heard the name that it was a state) when I was 10 or younger……
Oh, there’s some kid that used to be in my sister’s class that was like, a super-mega-hyper-genius at geography. When he was in first or second grade, he was talking to my dad about countries in Africa, and my dad as a joke said, “Can you tell me all the countries in Africa in backwards alphabetical order?” And the kid said, “…Well… I suppose you’d have Zimbabwe… then Zambia…”
My dad stopped him there, but how much do you want to bet that he’d have said Zairre next?
169- People getting Disneyland and Disney World mixed up is one of my big pet peeves. I also don’t like it when people think the Magic Kingdom is all of Disney World and they go “We went to Disney, then we went to EPCOT, then we went to Animal Kingdom…”
“Here’s a little concept I been working on – uh, why don’t we shoot her first?”
“It is her turn.”
-Kayne and Wash
“Testing – testing, captain, can you hear me?”
“I’m standing right here.”
“You’re coming through good and loud.”
” ‘Cause I’m standing right here.”
“Well yeah, but- the transmitter’s…”
-Kayne and Mal
“Captain, can you stop her from being cheerful, please?”
“I don’t reckon there’s a power in the ‘verse can stop Kaylee from being cheerful. Sometimes you just want to duct tape her mouth and dump her in the hold for a month.”
*kissing him on the cheek* “I love my captain.”
-Kayne, Mal, and Kaylee
*he has just shown her the box of strawberries* “Wooooooh – grandpa…”
*with a smile* “I never married.”
-Kaylee and Shepherd Book
“The man’s psychotic.”
*cut to the bridge where the main crew is laughing their heads off*
“You are psychotic!”
“And Kaylee’s really OK?”
“Yeah. Oh, I shouldn’t have done that – I’m a bad man.”
-Simon, Wash, Zoe, and Mal
“Let me do the math here… nuthin’ divided by nuthin’ – carry the nuthin’ – equals… nuthin’!”
-Kayne
This is an excerpt from a conversation I ha with my friends on a car ride. I might have posted this before on an old thread but oh well (it may be long):
“You finally said Kokon right!”- Me. My mom said Kokon right yesterday, and it’s been, like, a month? (Well if it hasn’t been a month, it seems like it.)
“Deke Slayton fishing in the Soviet Union during Apollo-Soyuz Test Project training. With Cosmonaut Backup Commander Anatoli Filipchenko, who obviously neglected to tell Deke that in Soviet Russia, fish catch you.”- Codename Sunshine, the mistress of hilarious yet accurate captions.
Naruto: MY NAME IS UZUMAKI NARUTO!! AND NONE OF YOU ARE GONNA BEAT ME!!!! YOU GOT THAT?
Kabuto: What’s his problem?!
Sakura: Typical. Too stupid to know he’s got problems.
“Now, flap your arms! Go on, flap faster, eh!- faster, faster, faster, faster, faster, now JUMP! *the guy jumps and falls* WRONG! Wrong! You’re no bloody use at all! You’re an utter, bloody WASHOUT! You make me sick, you WEED!”
-Flying sketch
“There. Now where’s the bleedin’ wire?”
“That hoop’s got a hole in it.”
” ‘Oh, Eatlyn and Mordy, the hoop has a hole in it-‘ ‘COURSE IT’S GOT A HOLE IN IT, OTHERWISE IT WOULDN’T BE A HOOP, WOULD IT MORSCH?!”
-Flying sketch
Two years later
“Gosh, I am glad I’m a fully qualified airline pilot.”
“The British Airline Pilot’s Association would like to point out that it takes a chap six years to become a fully qualified airline pilot and not two!” Four years later than the previous caption
*the pilots shrug*
“Thank you.”
-Flying sketch
“Fine.†I said, still boiling on the inside. “But if you come back with fresh bruises, I am going to rip his intestines out and stuff them in his mouth.â€
Mystery Quote!
“on a totally unrelated topic, how do you feel about things that your aunt gave you and you don’t know what they are?â€
Oh, and to quote Piggy, “You’re on MB. That’s not mysterious at all.”
“There’s no such thing as mysterious.”
Darn.
Does it have anything to do with the HG2GTA (text adventure, for those who haven’t played it)?
“Santa Clause scares me. I mean an old man coming into my house at night…creepy.”
Am I the 1st post??? If I am, YAYAYAYAYAYA!
2nd post. That still deserves a YAYAYAYAYAYA!
Please don’t Pointless Post. I’ll let you off with a warning, but next time, I have to fine you.
*fines 10 lb. virtual choklit for PoPoing**lets YANSWAT off with a warning, as en is a neophyte*
Arg! SudoRandom beat me to it.
Nice, Swat. Did you yourself say that?
Reporter: How do you feel about teenagers imitating you by wearing Beatles wigs?
John: Oh, they’re not imitating us; we don’t wear Beatles wigs.
First post?
Yay, Beatles quotes!!!!
Interviewer: Is your hair real?
George: Our hair’s real, lady. What about yours?
Interviewer: How do you sleep with your hair so long?
George: How do you sleep with your arms and legs still hooked on?
Jinx! Actually, I think Ringo said the second one. I think.
-“I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you’re twenty minutes.â€
-“This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.â€
-“Borrow money from a pessimist – they don’t expect it backâ€
-“When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before.â€
-“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.â€
“Why is there a penguin on top of the television?”
~ My friend. 0_o
“A wombat? No, I’m a human being”
-The telemarketer whom I subjected to the wombat treatment.
What’s the wombat treatment?
I dislike telemarketers immensely. If this wombat treatment can throw them off track and make them say something not in their script I’m all for it.
*grins*
AlpacaLips once really dismayed a telemarketer by telling my mom that the recording/robot sounded extremely human.
Here’s the wombat treatment:
You: (very seriously) Are you a wombat?
Poor unfortunate telemarketer: Uhhh… No, I’m a human.
You: (Still serious) Then I have nothing to say to you.
Aha.
This is a story I heard from my friend, who has the same English teacher as me but a different period.
Someone’s phone went off in class, and the teacher answered it. It was some guy who was doing a survey and wanted to talk about education. The teacher argued with him for a good five minutes, then asked him, “Do you like vegetables?” The caller, confused, said, “Uh… Not really, no.” “Okay,” said my teacher, “Go eat some home-grown vegetables, then call back and we can talk about education.”
This teacher also answers his phone by saying “House of Blues.”
“Good news. I figured what that thing you just incinerated did. It was a morality core they installed after I flooded the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin, to make me stop flooding the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin. So get comfortable while I warm up the neurotoxin emitters.â€
“Look: we’re both stuck in this place. I’ll use lasers to inscribe a line down the center of the facility, and one half will be where you live, and I’ll live in the other half. We won’t have to try to kill each other or even talk if we don’t feel like it.â€
“Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said “Goodbye†and you were like “No way!†And then I was all “We pretended we were going to murder you?†That was great!â€
“Where are we going? Are you coming back? What’s that noise? Is that a gun? Do you smell something burning? Ooooohh… what’s in heeeere?â€
“When I said deadly neurotoxin, the deadly was in massive sarcasm quotes. I could take a bath in this stuff. Put in on cereal, rub it right into my eyes… honestly, it’s not deadly at all… to me. You, on the other hand, are going to find its deadliness… a lot less funny. â€
“The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe testing environment. In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice. For instance: the floor here will kill you. Try to avoid it.â€
“Time out for a second. That wasn’t supposed to happen. Do you see that thing that fell out of me? What is that? It’s not the surprise. I’ve never seen it before! Never mind. It’s a mystery I’ll solve later… by myself, because you’ll be dead. â€
“You are kidding me. Did you just stuff that Aperture Science Thing-we-don’t-know-what-it-does into an Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator?”
“You think you’re doing some damage? Two plus two is…Ten. IN BASE FOUR! I’M FINE!”
“This is your fault. I’m going to kill you. And all the cake is gone. You don’t even care.”
“Momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between portals. In layman’s terms, speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out.”
~Quotes from Portal, the best cake-oriented game ever.
Ah ah ah! You got the second to last quote wrong. It’s “This is your fault. It didn’t have to be like this. I’m not kidding now, turn back or I will kill you. I’m going to kill you. And all the cake is gone. You don’t even care, do you?”
…Shut up, I don’t even have the game so I’m entitled to getting it wrong since I use sites to find the quotes.
“Please note that we have added a consequence for failure. Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an ‘unsatisfactory’ mark on your official testing record, followed by death. Good luck!”
“Did you know you can donate one or all of your vital organs to the Aperture Science self esteem fund for girls? It’s true!”
“The Enrichment Center is committed to the well being of all participants. Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test. Thank you for helping us help you help us all.”
“If you feel lightheaded from thirst, feel free to pass out. An intubation associate will be dispatched to revive you with peptic salve and adrenaline.”
“Have I lied to you? I mean, in this room?”
“Keep doing whatever it is you think you’re doing. Killing you and giving you good advice aren’t mutually exclusive. The rocket really is the way to go.”
“That thing you burned up isn’t important to me. It’s the fluid catalytic cracking unit. It made shoes for orphans. Nice job breaking “I’d just like to point out that you were given every opportunity to succeed. There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend the Companion Cube. Of course, he couldn’t come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn’t come either because you don’t have any other friends. Because of how unlikeable you are. It says so here in your personnel file: Unlikeable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikeable loner whose passing shall not be mourned. ‘Shall not be mourned.’ That’s exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted. So that’s funny, too.”
“Speaking of curiosity, you’re curious about what happens after you die, right? Guess what? I know! You’re going to find out first-hand before I can finish telling you, though, so I won’t bother. I’ll give you a hint: you’re going to want to pack as much living as you possibly can into the next couple of minutes.”
“I have your brain scanned and permanently backed up in case something terrible happens to you… which it’s just about to. Don’t believe me? Here. I’ll put you on. Hello! That’s you! That’s how dumb you sound! You’ve been wrong about every single thing you’ve ever done, including this thing. You’re not smart. You’re not a scientist. You’re not a doctor. You’re not even a full-time employee. Where did your life go so wrong?”
“Your entire life has been a mathematical error. A mathematical error I’m about to correct.”
“That thing is probably some sort of raw sewage container. Go ahead and rub your face all over it.”
“Maybe you should marry that thing since you love it so much, do you want to marry it? Well I won’t let you! How does that feel?”
Sorry. I’m just really obsessed with correcting people’s quotes. Here’s one from the developers’ commentary: “And I want to recreate the portal cake recipe, so I can make the cake, and put Portal on it, and serve it to my friends.” -Ellen McLain voice of GLaDOS and the turrets. I’m not making this up. I heard it myself.
Most cliched quote ever, but I can’t resist:
“Your species is so pathetic. They can’t even talk.”
“Mfmmmmmmf.”
“What?”
“I’ve got your gun!” *shoots*
-Nero and James Kirk in Star Trek. Where else?
I love that quote. XD
Interviewer: “Is your hair real?”
George: “Our hair’s real, lady. Is yours?”
I’ve found this with John and Ringo saying stuff in-between, but I left it out.
Interviewer: “How do you sleep with your hair that long?”
Ringo: “How do you sleep with your arms and legs still hooked on?”
Interviewer: “How many of you are bald, that you had to wear those wigs?”
Paul: “Oh, we’re all bald. Deaf and dumb, too.”
Oops, the third one wasn’t an interviewer, just some random guy.
Yay, Beatles quotes!!!!
Interviewer: Is your hair real?
George: Our hair’s real, lady. What about yours?
Interviewer: How do you sleep with your hair so long?
George: How do you sleep with your arms and legs still hooked on?
Aw cake. I posted that above. Wait, I don’t know if I did. Stupid duplicate comment warning!!! *utter confusion*
Here’s an …interesting one. I don’t recall the source.
The optimist sees the twin lights at the end of the tunnel.
The pessimist sees the darkness in the tunnel.
The realist sees the train at the end of the tunnel-
And the train driver sees three fools standing on the tracks!
The optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel.
The pessimist sees fire.
The pessimist and the pyromaniac.
A records executive to the Beatles:
“You’ll never make it. Four-man groups are out. Go back to Liverpool.”
Mystery quote:
“They’re… eating… my… people!”
I will truly be shocked if anyone gets it.
“If I wear a labcoat over a flightsuit and then a domino mask, I’ll look like a pilot-scientist-superhero!”- One of my friends.
(me) Dogs, really?
(Pseudonym) They eat people!!
(me) Birds, really?
(Pseudonym) They eat people!!
(me) Pseudonym, really?
(Pseudonym) I eat people!!– Pseudonym and I at the Ice rink.
“The dishwasher is full of light fixtures.” -My grandmother.
“At least you don’t intellectually resemble a jellyfish!” -Pseudo
“Here that? That’s the sound of forgiveness.”
“That’s the sound of people drowning Carl.”
“That’s what forgiveness sounds like. Screaming and then silence.”
– Llamas With Hats
Llamas with Hats 2, you mean.
“Would you believe that it’s strawberry milkshake? Melted gumdrops? Boat nectar? Some of God’s tears?”
“I just like the bloodiness. It’s so pretty. Shiny, and glimmery. Dripping down like water, but it looks so nice. The little pools by someone’s decapitated head.” – Enceladus.
“Oh my sainted socks.” – vanillabean3.141
“*eats garlic flavoured f+h*”- Keiffer
LOVE IT!!!!!
*dies from laughing*
“Garlic, vampire kebab, and you, precious.” -bookgirl_me turned Gollum.
“The major problem- one of the major problems, for there are several- one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of whom manages to get people to let them do it to them. To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it.
To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.”
–Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
“Aw, but you look so much prettier dead.”
-Me
“Are you sure you know where we are?’
“NO!”
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…!!!!!!!!!..
I can’t go!
– Me
Thought y’all would like this one, it’s from my DW book, The Taking of Chelsea 426. I immediately thought of you guys. Right before being reminded of a TW fanfic I once read…..But we’re not going there.
‘Sonic screwdriver,” said the Doctor, holding it up to show the children. ‘Just about the handiest thing in the universe. After a small towel. You can never go wrong with a small towel.’
“Purple saxophone?”
-M, in Social Studies.
A DIALOGUE
Pseudo: At least you don’t intellectually resemble a jellyfish.
Me: Who intellectually resembles a jellyfish?
Pseudo: Me.
Me: Who said that?
Pseudo: Me.
SIXTEEN HOURS LATER
Me: Joas, you intellectually resemble a jellyfish! *cracks up laughing*
Joas: *not getting it* A jellyfish? How?? ( Because everybody calls him a turtle. )
Me: *cracks up more*
DARN
IT.
PSEUDO, WHY DON’T YOU LOG OUT OF YOUR ACCOUNT??!
YOU MADE ME LOSE MY DIALOGUE.
Okay, here’s the set up: We’re talking about my math teacher’s pants. They were blue/black but sometimes they look black and sometimes they look blue. And it drives everyone INSANE.
Math teacher: “Guys. Out of my pants, and on to the proof!”
Okay. maybe you had to be there.
Ewwie…
If you think that’s gross, you should read The Miller’s Tale in Canterbury Tales. Goodness, that was funny
OH NO, bad memories. That book was very, very weird.
*reads summary on Wikipedia* *slowly inches away from I-Man*
*follows Enceladus*
*follows Beedle and Enceladus* *squints at I-man* *runs away*
“My karma ran over my dogma.” -Bumper sticker
From a story I wrote (Teresa is a superhero)
Little girl: “Can you fly?”
Teresa: “Sure. I love to fly. I have a pilot’s license and I fly all the time.”
“Who on earth would want to find H – H-h-h- Hitler’s ghost?”- Bubblebabe.
This is bubblebabe. I am now a Princess. You can call me PrincessM if you want. However, I am no longer a bubblebabe.
I would, actually.
“Fireh gets mad if I say her name. Hey, Fireh!” -my ballet teacher to the studio pianist
Me: *turns around and glowers, trying to figure out what his point is* “What?”
“See?” -ballet teacher
****
“I do not get mad easily!” -me, in an angry voice while glowering at my sister
Lin: “Hahahahaha! That’s like you saying in a whiny voice that you don’t act like a baby, entirely by accident!”
“Ugh.” -me.
***
“Look! Christmas Tree is still out!” -my mother, five seconds ago. (it really is. Sadness.)
“The database hates you right now. The entry might exist or it might not exist. We would clear this mystery up for you, if we could get to the database. We tried to look it up, but the database puked up an error. ”
~TvTropes
“Effing frazzelblarg!”
~me, cursing
“Who’s that guy?”-my mum, pointing at my Twilight poster
Me: “The guy in the moon’s Edward Cullen.”
“Yes, but who’s the other one?”
“Jacob the werewolf.”
“What’s she doing with him? I thought she was after Edward.”
“She is, but he left because he thought she’d be safer, and she was really depressed, then she started h anging out with Jacob and he wanted to be her boyfriend, and this other vampire who hates her because Eward killed her mate came after her, and so did this other vampire, and the werewolves killed him…” *laughs hysterically**recovers a bit* “…then Alice had a vision of Bella dead, and Edward went off to commit suicide…” *gives up*
My mum:
Me: At least New Moon actually has a plot. Twilight is just OMG hot vampire.
“Fun fact: bacon can help you cure hangovers!”
-me, on various occasions after I learned that
“Well then you wouldn’t be here, would you? So you can’t be here. Q.E.D – you’re not really here!”
-Jack Sparrow
“Love, that is a dinghy. My vessel is magnificent and fierce and huge-ish, and – gone. Why is it gone?”
-Jack
“I said to myself, think like Jack.”
“This is what you’ve arrived at? Lead Beckett to Shipwreck Cove so as to gain his trust, accomplish your own ends? It’s like you don’t know me at all, mate.”
-Wii and Jack
“I once sailed with a geezer lost both of his arms and part of his eye.”
“What did you call him?”
“…Larry.”
-Jack and Gibbs
“I leave you people alone for just a minute and look what happens, everything’s gone to pot!”
-Jack
“James Norrington, do you fear death? *gets stabbed by him* I’ll take that as a ‘no’.”
-Davy Jones
“Barbossa! Marry us!”
*after he stabs a fish-man* “I’M A LITTLE BUSY AT THE MOMENT!”
-Elizabeth and Barbossa
“Ladies, will you please shut it! Listen to me. Yes, I lied to you. No, I don’t love you. Of course it makes you look fat. I’ve never been to Brussels. It is pronounced ‘egregious’. By the way, no – I’ve never actually met Pizarro, but I love his pies. And all of this pales to utter insignificance in light of the fact that my ship is once again gone, savvy?”
-Jack
“You’re mad.”
*half a sentence*”If I wasn’t, this’d probably never work.”
-Beckett and Jack
“Ye can do nothing without the key!”
“I already have the key!”
“…No you don’t! Ha ha!”
“Oh, that key.”
-Davy and Jack
Love that movie
“I don’t like that nose. I’m cutting it off”
_AM
Evil band teacher (discussing “Feed the Birds”): Play this lightly. It’s about birds. It shouldn’t sound like elephants.
Me: Why can’t we feed the elephants?
(In Scholastic Bowl, discussing the idea of thesis and antithesis)
X (member of the team): But can you give me an example of this?
Coach: Yes. Thesis: X doesn’t check his e-mail. Antithesis: X thinks I should check to see if he is on the e-mail list. Synthesis: I don’t do anything, and X should check his e-mail more often.
(We were making gingerbread houses as a wing activity, and our group’s was just pieces of “gingerbread”, frosting, and candy scattered everywhere.)
Girl: That doesn’t look like a gingerbread house.
Me: No, it’s a gingerbread work of modern art.
Cubism, eh? Better access, easier to eat.
“Really? Did I mention I died earlier?”
-Me.
“No, I think it’s more that they’re grapes in a metaphorical sense.”
-A friend.
“Punch me. No, you’re not doing it hard enough!”
-Another friend
“And I’m going to get a wad of paper that I can spit out so it looks like a tooth…”
-My friend, who has previously been referred to as ‘Fred’
“Did you just make laser noises? That’s it. Out. Out of the car.”
– One of my youth group leaders. He wasn’t serious.
I’ve got interesting friends.
Mystery Quote!
“Let’s just say that if complete and utter chaos were lightning, then he’d be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armor and shouting ‘All gods are bastards.’ Got any food?”
You have three guesses. You probably only need one.
Definitely Terry Pratchett…. but I can’t think who said it. Meh.
Rincewind describing Twoflower.
Correct!
(I finished Color of Magic. Can’t you tell? Reminds me, I need to finish my post on the Books and Reading thread…)
MYSTERY QUOTES!!!!OMG!!!!!!! :-O
number ONE!!!- “Am I missing an EYEBROW!?”
Number TWO!!!- “High explosives and electricity! Whoo!
Mythbusters. 1-Adam 2-Jamie. Are you new? *pies*
IZZA SEAL!
~Me, misunderstanding a DeviantArt title
Nananana na na na na nana, nananana na nanana! Nananana na na nananana-na na na. Na nanana nananana na nana nana. Nanananana na na na na, na na na na nana!
~Me, attempting to sing the Mario theme song (or part of it)
Hnhnhnhnhnnnn~
~Me, doing a weird laugh
It’s time to take this fight to the water!
~My brother, playing Super Mario Galaxy, attempting to murder Brr Bits
“Does Igor think he can sponge a clown?” -me, misquoting Bubblebabe.
IGOR BELIEVES HE CAN SPONGE A CLOUD! AND I’M A PRINCESS! Geez, you ought to be able to properly quote your own sister, let alone call her by the right NAME…OK, I’m SO going to post the Freddie Mercury thing!
Nooooooooooooooo! (*pays Popo fine in advance*)
*takes PoPo fine* *pays PoPoPo person with it for this*
“Have you sold your soul to the theatre?”
Patrick
“What are you guys doing?”
“Dancing to A Very Potter Musical”
“Oh.” *leaves*
That happens to Marfwarrior and me on an almost-daily basis
Yay! Super-fast moderation! Thanks, GAPAs! So this isn’t a PoPo, here’s a quote;
John:So, Garfield, remember all the good times we’ve had?
*silence*
John: So, Garfield, remember all the mediocre times we’ve had?
Garfield: Yeah…
Me: Dad, is the pineapple ripe yet?
Dad: Yes.
Me: Dad, are the bananas ripe yet?
Dad: Yes.
Me: Dad, are the corn muffins ripe yet?
Dad: Yes, wait… what?!
“Hey…it’s….GEORGE!” –me after seeing your avatar. My parents didn’t even bother to ask me what was going on this time. (I feel like you and Pseudo and me are part of some sort of
cultclub of George-obsessed beings.)“Not all who wander are lost.” –J.R.R. Tolkien. My new favourite quote.
“There aren’t many people who can ninja-roll out of a Snuggie!” –me, describing myself
“Awww, crap! The Sky Narwhal fell out of the sky!” –me
Yeah, you three should definitely meet each other. *cough cough BOSTON KOKON cough hack cough*
Oh my goodness, Sudo. Do you need a coughdrop?
Oh my goodness, Silver Lining. I certainly do! (Although as soon as I heard you could all come to the kokon, my cough mysteriously disappeared. All the same, I can haz coffdrop?
Absolutely, my friend. You can haz coffdrop. *hands over small portion of my infinite supply of coffdrops*
We eat craziness for breakfast!
We eat craziness for lunch!
We eat craziness for dinner!
And we eat craziness for brunch~
We eat craziness for breakfast!
We eat craziness for breakfast!
We eat insanity for breakfast!
~Me
Me: X, how would you describe the stupid Peach’s Castle battle?
X: Spiky and black hole-y.
Me: I’ve taught you well.
X: …I hate you. I so hate you.
Me: Yeah, whatever.
X: SHUUUUT! I mean shut up.
Me: Argalarghmmm…
~Me and my little brother
“Hitler better watch out, he’s about to have that moustache swiped from his face!” – Immortallius.
My brother: “We have Triple A?” (That is, our parents are in the AAA)
Me: “Yup, we have several Triple As. In all the flashlights.”
“Did you just tell me to hurry up and kill the tennis ball?”
-Me, misinterpreting something my mother had said
“Take this to defend yourself – it is a powerful weapon.”
“…This is a pen.”
“Only use it in times of severe distress.”
“…This is a pen!”
-The Lightning Thief movie trailer (I’m liking the book so far and I can’t wait to see the movie)
“If we didn’t know how to read…how could we buy video games?!” -Joas. In tones of disbelief.
“Planet Earth. Or, as the rest of the omnivores call it, the orb of dreamers, the occupants of which spend so much time asleep, and dreaming. Their vast imaginations humming away, charged with creative energy. Where does it all go? Up through a cerebrumbillical cord, where it collects and melds with all the other dreamer’s energy.
And something wonderful happens. It forms a world… an ethereal dreamscape of adventure and possibilities. An abstract plane of beautiful wonderment, just waiting to be explored….
And you can go there now.”
-Opening of LittleBigPlanet
*gasp*
I know, right? It makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside…
And for the record, LittleBigPlanet is definitely the single most best game on the PS3.
A video game. LittleBigPlanet is a video game?!
Umm… yes? It was, like, the biggest game of 2008, maybe?
No kidding. It was a triumph of game design, to say the very least.
Now I totally want to play that game…
Me too.
I want a PS3 and $55 after watching this one Let’s Play of Little Big Planet…
“Simple. Change the gravitational constant of the universe.”
– Q, in Deja Q, episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation
Looking at a book of cake designs in the bakery:
Pseudo: “This must be so CAKING FUN to make!”
*doesn’t even realize what she said*
O.o That is terrific.
“Oscar gone Wilde.” – My English teacher last year.
My Cross Country coach: “Okay, now the one thing you guys have to do this season is you have to beat John Glenn (High School).”
Me: “That’ll be easy. What is he now, 80?”
“This music is makng my elbow hurt!”
-Me. (Yes, I really said that. I’m weird like that.)
I can see that, if you held Alanna up for a long time…
Actually, it was music that I was listening to, not playing. A sore wrist or hand would be more likely to result from playing too long.
*smiles happily* I just got back from this three-day honor band thingummy. I am now addicted to band, and hope I can join the Youth Orchestra at my music school next year.
I’ve got some great quotes from the last three days.
“Percussion! Measure… #, you’ve gotta sound like cavemen.”
-The conductor for our band”
“Very good, especially Lee. But… can you make it sound like, a posh caveman?”
-The conductor after we played through that section again
“It’s gotta sound sexy at Measure #.”
-Conductor
“Why, you rascal you!”
-Conductor to percussionist who said on a scale of 0-10 he was between 8-10 and who pretty obviously wasn’t that tired
“Okay, take a break. I want you to still have faces at the end of this weekend.”
-Conductor, giving us a 15-minute break in which we were not allowed to play our instruments but we practiced anyway…
“You’re the seventh grader?!”
-Tim, a ninth grade clarinetist who sits next to me
“You’re in seventh grade, right? Hey, M! She’s a seventh grader!”
-Karen, an eight grade clarinetist who sits on the other side of me
“Hey. Hold on a second. You’re that seventh grader, right?”
-Jeff, the first chair clarinetist. (he has the most beautiful sound ever)
“Keep it up, Fireh, or I’ll cry.”
-Katie, the chair of the second clarinets
“Be a second Jeff! No, better yet- be a first Fireh!!”
-Katie
“Hey, Masa! You get in the picture too!”
-Katie
“Why me? Wait, you’re not giving me a choice. Nevermind.”
-Masa (a first clarinet)
“You’re my best friend, congratulations! What was your name again?”
-Bri (bassoonist)
“Is she a creep?”
-Bri, talking about my little sister (who was acting very strangely in order to embarrass me in front of my friends. It doesn’t work. We just laugh at her and I look better because I put up with her. :D)
Can you tell I had a great time? I’m now going to post about it on the Random Thread.
Oooh, bassoons….
‘No no no NO NO NO NO. RYAN. Do you SEE the hit there? Ryan, you are the GOD OF THUNDER.’
‘Okay…’
[We play the section again. Right as we get to that part, Miskavage cues, Ryan is the God of Thunder, and Miskavage shouts over the music:]
‘YES! YES! MORE! *makes claw hand and raises it to the heavens* AHAHAHAHAHAAAA!‘
-Miskavage and Ryan
Later:
‘No! NO! Ryan, you have to stop being the God of Thunder. Ian- Ian, now you are the God of Thunder. Ryan, you were only the God of Thunder for that last movement.’
-Miskavage again
-A
“You’ve got to help each other, listen thru the band. We get thru this with help from each other”
I had quite a few brain bloopers.
-Mrs L, at which point “Oo, we get by with a little help from our friends” (Beatles) starts running through my head.
“You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me!”
“I used to be indesicive, now I’m just not sure.”
Somebody on another site: “You don’t want to go to the Houston visitor center. It’s like NASA Disneyland.”
Me: “And I’m supposed to see that as a turn-off?”
To go into acting is like asking for admission to an insane asylum. Anyone may apply, but only the certifiably insane are admitted.
-Dr. Alex Marshall
An actor is at his best a kind of unfrocked priest who, for an hour or two, can call on heaven and hell to mesmerize a group of innocents.
-Alec Guinness
I would like to be going all over the kingdom…and acting everywhere. There’s nothing in the world equal to seeing the house rise at you, one sea of delightful faces, one hurrah of applause!
-Charles Dickens
“Minds are like parachutes. Just because you’ve lost yours doesn’t mean you can borrow mine.”
I like that.
Only now my brain is busy trying to figure out how that would work…
After a failed attempt to scare me and my other friends…
My friend, “Oh, wait there, I’ll scare you!”
57 – I thought it was, “Minds are like parachutes. They work best when open.”
57; 59-
“You want to buy roses. You need roses.” *jedi hand move*
“We’l just tell them that crocodiles from the amazon rainforest will eat them if they don’t buy our roses.”
“Fyi, you just sold your soul to M. for some potatoes with parsley.”
-Me. It all made sense in context.
“I’ve been to self-defense class. I’m dangerous!” *punches her hand with her fist, trying to look tough* “Oww, that hurt!”
“My sweater hurt me!”
-M. (not the one who bought L’s soul)
*is found by the person who is “it” in hide and seek*
“This is not the person you are looking for.” *jedi hand move*
“…..”
-I’m the one doing the jedi stuff, the one “….”ing is my friend A, I think.
Except that that irritating guy didn’t buy the roses *fury*
My friends and I pushed roses for 1h during the school dance. We get to keep our tips, so we should have earned about 5€. It was great fun- pouncing on people and telling them that their life would be fulfilled and bla, bla, bla if they bought a rose.
We even sold 5 to the principal.
“My eye fell off! I’ll glue it back on.”
-AM
“Don’t be ridiculous, you were abducted! Of course you need crepes!”
-Walter to Peter on Fringe
“Of course quantum physics starts with a K, Hannah!” -me
“Dude, you just pulled a Satchel!” –Tess, after hearing that I laughed at a math-related joke about a formula I didn’t understand
“Say something funny.”
“Something funny.”
*bursts out laughing*
“See, I told you it was something funny.”
–Hope and me
“The democracy will cease to exist when you take from those who are willing to work and give to those who are not.”
-Thomas Jefferson
The online Thomas Jefferson Encyclopedia says that this quotation has not been found in any of Jefferson’s writings and can’t be traced back before 1986 (wiki . monticello . org/mediawiki/index.php/The_democracy_will_cease_to_exist).
I don’t care – it sounds like the kind of thing he’d say, he’s getting credit.
*wonders what Jefferson would say about having words put in his mouth*
*suspects that Jefferson and most other famous people must be used to it by now*
*suspects that Robert is right*
And I’m not putting words in his mouth, I’m just giving him temporary credit. Methinks I should have said that earlier…
What does “temporary credit” mean? I wouldn’t venture further than “attributed to” in any case that lacks credible supporting evidence.
“temporary credit” means pretty much the same as “attributed to”. Look, can we just forget about this for now and pretend I didn’t say that quote?
*is confused*
From my private stash. Sorry for lack of sources. Google is your friend.
The first time Darryl Virostko surfed waves as tall as three-story buildings at Mavericks, the legendary surf spot some 50 miles north of here, he was high on acid.
Up the close and down the stair,
In the house with Burke and Hare.
Burke’s the butcher, Hare’s the thief.
And Knox the man who buys the beef.
…it’s ’cause the other teams can’t stop staring at those damn pinstripes.
Meet me Croydon airport 4.30pm Wednesday.
Can’t act, slightly bald, also dances.
You’re going to have to jumble this around and make it sound smart.
“Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself; but talent instantly recognizes genius.”
“Life is like a violine, the music stops, but the string last forever.â€
“That’s a stupid metaphor.â€
“It’s not a metaphor it’s a simile.â€
I must down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by.
~ John Masefield, Sea-Fever
A singular disadvantage of the sea lies in the fact that after successfully surmounting one wave you discover that there is another behind it just as important and just as nervously anxious to do something effective in the way of swamping boats.
~Stephen Crane, The Open Boat (1894)
I thought you’d rather have a live donkey than a dead lion.
The Laws as they exist in a robot’s mind are not the written, verbal version usually quoted by humans, but abstract mathematical concepts upon which a robot’s entire developing consciousness is based.
Sincerity: “Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made.â€
Stars are not important, there is nothing interesting about stars. Streetlamps are very important because they’re so rare! As far as we know there’s only a few million of them in the universe, and they were built by monkeys… I’d much rather be a rising ape than a falling angel
O night, spread thy wings over me as the imperishable stars
“it’s okay! we’re acting”
‘There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, “Do trousers matter?”‘
‘The mood will pass, sir.’
‘But there are no lions in the Scottish Highlands,’ and the other one answers ‘Well, then that’s no McGuffin!’
“…about as practical as a shark in formaldehyde.”
Fiat justitia, pereat mundus
The one about pinstripes is from Catch Me if You Can.
“You know why the Yankees always win?”
“Because they have Mickey Mantle?”
“No. It’s because the other teams can’t stop staring at those damn pinstripes.”
Okay, third from the bottom is Alfred Hitchcock, tenth from the bottom is Ernest Shackleton. Ninth from the bottom might be Isaac Asimov.
EARTH HAS 4 CORNER
SIMULTANEOUS 4-DAY
TIME CUBE
IN ONLY 24 HOUR ROTATION.
4 CORNER DAYS, CUBES 4 QUAD EARTH- No 1 Day God
–from this time cube website, which is insane in all the wrong ways. If you can understand that sentence any better than me, please, tell me what it means.
Patriotism is supporting you country all the time and your government when it’s right–Mark Twain
Time Cube website is probably a parody. At least I hope so.
What’s even worse are websites that try to make sense of what it says. At least some people are taking it seriously.
There’s a not-especially-helpful Wikipedia article, too. And a number of parodies of Time Cube itself.
This is englishy, but the words make no sense…
Well, it seems like this Gene Ray guy thinks that the Earth makes four full rotations around its axis in 24 hours, but that doesn’t make much sense either…
67–No idea whatsoever.
“Nenes for everyone!” –Science teacher
Percussionist: “Is it rock?”
Band teacher: “No.”
P: “Is it reggae?”
BT: “No, it’s an overture.”
How do you confuse a percussionist?
Put music in front of them!
-Zinc, I believe.
That’s from my theatre teacher.
Also from Ms. Cope: What do you call a beginning oboe half covered in sand? Not enough sand.
*thinks of Gaara*
I resent that.
Hey Tesseract? I caused lots of confusion in my math class asking what a “tesseract” was.
“A brilliant, terrible idea.
Truly.
It involved bubble-wrap.
Obviously the Negaverse should give up now, before Abeline put this terrible, wonderful, awful idea into play.
Because bubble-wrap kept everything safe. Even human shaped objects. ”
-A Sailor Moon-based pet shop on Gaia Online.
Me: “I didn’t smile. I made a zombie face. So I was a dancing zombie.”
D: “Did you wear a red jacket?”
Me: “No I am not Michael!”
This was in gym today. We were doing what our idiotic teacher calls “warmups” that look like something out of a five-year-old’s dance class. We were referencing Plants V.S. Zombies.
Squee! Plants Vs. Zombies! I finally found someone else who isn’t annoying, but likes that game anyway!
I love that game! I have the iPod version of it.
Me: “Ain’t got nothing but love, babe. Eight days a week!”
Sister: “Will you shut up?”
Me: “Okay.”
Five minutes later.
Me: “She’s got a ticket to ride, but she don’t care!”
Sister: “Can you shut up?”
Me: I can, but I don’t exactly want to.
Five minutes later.
Me: “Help! I need somebody. Help! Not just anybody. Help! You know I need someone. Help!”
Sister: “Just shut up already! You’re going to end up like one of those people who sing to them self like a, like a… crazy person!”
Me: “Why should sanity be the privilege of the humdrum?”
Sister: *blank stare*
*is insane* Somehow, we do that all the time in our family… The singing, that is.
We sing a lot in my family- at least the females do (me, my sister, and my mom). My dad is totally tone-deaf and a terrible singer…
By me too… Except that I’m tone-deaf as well (not that I let it stop me).
This frequently happens with me and Pseudo. Especially in the mornings. We must look like freaks, skipping down the streets singing Beatles songs.
This happens in my family, too, but more along the lines of the following.
Me: When I meet the wizard, once I prove my worth–
Sister: Abby, sing quieter, please.
Me: Sorry.
Five minutes later
Me: Do you think the wizard is dumb? Or–
Sister: Stop it. We’re in a public place.
Me: I’m being quiet, and no one is listening, and all the other people are at least two aisles away.
Sister: …Stop being logical!
Me: –or like munchkins so small-minded?
Sister: Seriously. Stop.
Five minutes later
Sister: …He’ll say to me I see who you truly are, a girl on whom I rely…
Me: On whom I can rely. It’s “can rely.”
Sister: A girl on whom… you got it stuck in my head. Great.
Me: AND THAT’S HOW WE’LL BEGIN, THE WIZARD AND I!
Sister: Shut up.
As long as she doesn’t tell you shut up when you haven’t resolved the chord… Unresolved chords are one of my biggest pet peeves.
Excerpts from the classic “Underground Tunnels/Crisis of Worlds” Muse Academy RPG story arc:
“I hate to destroy this lovely piece of architecture, but all my friends are at stake, so…â€
*swings sledgehammer at fireplace* -IBEF
“‘Poison darts, eh?’ I said pointedly.” -Nora the Violinist
“And she blew up! BOOM goes Saturday!â€- Bookworm
“My plane got hijacked by Cthulhu cultists and…um… is this a bad time?â€- Eccentric the Afterthought
“Do not enter. Believe me, dude, you don’t want to.â€- Me
‘GET OUT OF MY HEAD, ESME WEATHERWAX!!!!!!!’ -Adeia
(When asked who she thinks is behind everything.)
“I think a Vogon, The Wicked Witch of the West, Bonnie and Clyde, Count Dracula, Sauron.”- Beatlesrockr
“Sorry about all the bunnies, booby-traps, and Nazis. I guess we should have paid closer attention when we were digging out the basement.”- Robert Coontz
“An epilogue is like a sequel on dope.” –a kid in my English class
“Do you dream in chickenfeet?” me
Random mystery quotes I have typed into Google just to see how many hits refer to the source I’m thinking of.
So, who said these?
“Do you know that you are very strong?”
“‘Goes the beanie cap.”
“We welcome you to Sea Base Alpha.”
“I hate that hedgehog!”
“Thank God I’ve still got my astronauts.”
“Please remain seated. Your vehicle is rotating backwards for your return to earth.”
Is “We welcome you to Sea Base Alpha” from S&S&SM?
No, it’s not said in a book.
AvalonGirl: Lier. Just post.
SudoRandom: You spelt liar rong.
My mom: “You smell like salad” *dangles salad leaves in my face*
~fireh
Mmhmm, I recruited her. She will now be known as Deathbringer. Or the cute bubblegum bunny.
~Me to RQ
Me: I joined it in 4th and 5th, which were the only years at was at the school. I could have done better, but I didn’t. School choirs usually aren’t all that great-sounding, thoguh.
Zinc: Thoguh. Interesting choice of words.
Me: …Shut up.
Zinc: Didja hear about the kid who died”impersonating” Gaara?
Me: Whaaat?
Zinc: Yeah. He somehow suffocated in a one-foot deep sand box. HE WAS TEN. FLIPPING TEN YEARS OLD.
Me: My question is more on the side of how’d he suffocate on a sandbox about a fourth his height?
Zinc: Yeah. His friends helped him. I suspect homicide.
Me: …I suppose that could happen.
On an unrelated note: My character posts in a color called Burly Wood.
Zinc: Sure, Gaara kills people with the sand, but he doesn’t stick his bloody head in it!
And the caking newspeople call it “Nah-rew-toh.” >:(
Me: Well, he wears sand armor, which is coating his head with sand…
Stupid newspeople, it’s Nar-rooh-toe!
Zinc: And a kid got suspended for bringing a Death Note to school.
What the heck?
Me: Are people far too obsessed with Death Note, and so believe that it’s real?
Zinc: Anger relief?
~Me and Zinc on Gmail
ALSO ON GMAIL:
I like making my characters have issues!
~Me talking to Sudo
Hold on…..
What gives here? Who said you could quote me?
Didn’t you know that everything I say is copyrighted? (jk)
“Let’s go around selling unassembled snowmen to people!” -me
“Or how about selling popcorn to fundraise for your band?” -my mom, at which everyone laughed because I’m the “one-man-band”, literally. A homeschooled clarinetist, yes?
Guys, let’s keep references to off-blog contact to an absolute minimum, okay?
“If your characters were real they would form an angry mob against you. Mine would do the same… if any of them were still alive.”
– A Facebook flair I sent to my friend
“Very true, except the only character I left alive is the one with the most reason to punish me. That wouldn’t scare me, except that she has the ability to make me live forever and punish me eternally.”
– A message I wrote and sent with the aforementioned flair (The characters in question were those in a book my friend wrote and is currently trying to get published, and those in the parody I made for the sole purpose of torturing all of her characters.)
“The more posts I see by Witchneko, the more I am convinced of her awesomeness.”
-Me
I create dance numbers in my head.
~Me (I do, by the way)
Me: -sings stuff in the kitchen as she gets a drink-
Little Brother: Be quiet, you’ll scare Cakey!
M: -drops cup in sink-
LB: …You scared Cakey.
~Conversation
My hands are numb, and I’M LOVING IT!
~Me, having a snowball fight in FL with no gloves
We don’t love you anymore…
~Me, talking to a group of kids who finished something and went to the back of the line
I have a towel on my head, I have a towel on my head, I have a towel on my head, and I keep it there all day!
~Me
Ohhhh, why am I attempting to think of cool things to say only for this thread?
~Me
Matt, I challenge you to a stupid dance-off!
~Me
Thanks, Random. -does her little crazy dance- I love it when people know I’m awesome. -gives hug-
“If at first you don’t succeed, screw it and do something else!”
-me and a number of people I know
“Do you understand how intense you are?”- QuantumG, addressing me.
“Play it like an uncut salami.”
-My conductor. It made sense in context, but most people were still confused. He is full of weird metaphors.
I can understand that.
“And then you strike him with your riding crop! Beat him about the head and shoulders! And say what a cad he is!†– My history teacher explaining how much trench warfare failed
“Commander sounds so… commanding.”- Stephen Colbert.
“The Army has more ships than the Navy and the Navy has more planes than the Air Force. What’s with that?”- Some kid at Space Academy.
“Bolden doesn’t need a hug, he’s a Marine.”- FMOM
“I’m going to ride it like a hearse!” My little sister, I think she meant ‘horse.’
Dad: “I’m going to the store to get buns and burgers.”
Me: “Why do we have to eat Bunsen-burners?”
Dad: “No, we’re eating buns and burgers.”
Me: “Why do we have to eat buns and burgers? I thought you said we we’re having cake?”
Dad: “Oh, yes. I did say that.”
*leaves* *calls home*
Dad: “I never said that!”
*comes home*
Dad: “I bought the cake.”
Me: “Where are the Bunsen-burners?”
Dad: “Shriblefargum *mumblemumblemumble* Gasherargh.”
We ended up eating leftovers.
I added this mystery quote on the last thread, but it ended too quickly, so:
HELLO. HOW ARE YOU? I AM FINE. WHAT IS YOUR NAME? MY NAME IS JERRY.
SFTDP (wow, my third one today)
“Instead of being confused and noisy, try to be confused and quiet. Then, after a while, you won’t be confused.” – My totally awesome Spanish teacher
I showed my teacher that, he loved it. He didn’t even remember that he said it, though…
I hope that went through, I can’t see the “awaiting moderation” thingy at the moment.
“I can fit two corpses in my closet!” -me, misreading the product information on my future closet.
Wha-ehh-ehh-ahh-aah….
~The sound I make when speechless. Or close to it.
Notbackhandsprings, notbackhandsprings, not. Back. Handsprings.
~Me freaking out at gymnastics
You’re a muffin!
~Girl at gymnastics
Um…I wrote all of it but the summary! I’ll finish it tomorrow!
~Me
No, you can be talking to your beans.
-A teacher, describing how a student was supposed to act out something
“Come on!”
“I’m coming!”
“No, you’re not.”
“Fine. I have every intention of preparing to come as soon as possible.”
-My brother and me. My logic is incredible, no?
My half-brother: “Why was I a fool?”
My stepmom: “Because you were dancing outside in your underwear!”
The sad thing is, that was absolutely true. It started snowing, but it wasn’t cold enough to accumulate.
C, on SpaceVidcast: “I can see the shuttle from where I’m standing. I’m here for work, but I don’t want to tell you exactly what my job is, because I don’t want you all to be jealous.”
Everybody: “C’mon, tell us what you do!”
C: “I work for a government agency. Four letters. That’s all I’m saying.”
Me: “OSHA? *Bats eyelashes innocently*”
Two of my friends’ and my rendition of Little Bunny Foo-Foo (via IM):
“LITTLE BUNNY FOO-FOO”
“HOPPIN’ THROUGH THE FOREST”
“PICKIN’ UP ALL THE FIELD MICE”
“AND BOPPIN’ ‘EM ON THE HEAD!!!”
“Then down came the goooood fairy and sheeeee said…”
“LITTLE BUNNY FOO-FOO I DON’T WANNA SEE YOU”
“PICKIN’ UP ALL THE FIELD MICE AND BOPPIN’ ‘EM ON THE HEAD!”
“Now I’ll give you THREEEEEEEEEEE chances to STOP that behavior…”
“Or else I’ll hit you with a dust pan!”
“And you can be Paulie!”
“What?”
“No, or else you’ll be Yoko Ono.”
“What?”
(Sorry, I couldn’t resist posting that.
)
My cousin’s rendition:
Little bunny Foo-Foo
Hopping through the forest
Farmer pulled the trigger
And shot him through the head.
BANG!
Yours is funny too. I don’t quite understand who the people are, but I know enough about one to make it funny.
FMOM: “I really do not envy Charles Bolden.”
Me: “Yeah. I want to give the guy a good hug.”
FMOM: “He doesn’t need a hug, he’s a Marine.”
Me: “I guess you’re right. That wasn’t creepy, was it?”
FMOM: “No, a 16-year-old girl wanting to hug a 50-something man she’s not related to isn’t creepy. Only the inverse is creepy.”
“Friends are like potatoes; If you eat them, they die.”
“Dinosaurs are only so mean because their arms are to short to hug people.”
Both from unrelatedcaptions. I don’t know where they’re from before then.
I love unrelatedcaptions.
“I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.”
– Edgar Allan Poe
My brother: “That crazy volcano is funny!”
Me: “What crazy volcano?”
My brother (without pointing): “That crazy volcano!”
Me: “What crazy volcano?!”
My brother: “That crazy volcano!!”
Me (pointing): “You mean that crazy volcano?”
My brother: “Yes!”
Me: “That’s Cookie Monster!!!”
My Dad (quoting something he read online): “The Fail is strong with this one.”
(We were looking at my screen as I browsed flair on Facebook.)
“What’d you have to get eaten by a clam for?!”
-My brother (There was no context, but it made sense in the situation.)
“Yeah, well I think puncturing them with your fingernails to get red juice would work better than squeezing. For friends and strawberries.”
-Me, responding to something my dad said.
My brother: “Squeak! Squeak! Squeak!”
Me: *continues typing*
My brother: “I sound like a baby wolf!”
Me: “How?”
Ms. Social Studies is talking about the Quakers.
Meryem: “Wait, Ms. S, isn’t that like the oatmeal guy?”
Mystery quote (honestly, I doubt anybody will get this one):
“Careful, Fox – you never know what a cornered beast might do.”
“Might jump… like a COUGAR!”
Star Fox?
The first part is. The second one isn’t. That should be a pretty good hint right there…
“Through a study of French 3 students will endeavour to …
5. Gain an understanding of French mineral water.”
–My French course outline. I am not making this up.
Me: “Robert Pattinson is uglier than the guys on my bus.”
J: “THe guys on your bus must be really hot, then.”
Don’t worry, she was joking. I hope.
“Sure, lets go see Face-Punch. Apparently the trailer tag line is ‘Pow pow, punch faces.'”
“I know it’s a joke movie, but that actually sounds a helluva lot better than this [New Moon].”
Mystery Quote-
“Notice my hand. Going into your face.”
A little while later….
“Notice my hand!?!?!?” *punch*
Isn’t anyone going to guess??
(Writing in a diary)
“He said I should write my feelings in a journal. But since I don’t know what a journal is, I’ll use my diary instead.” -Punky Brewster.
“We’re all mad here.”
~Cheshire Cat
Did you read Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland also… She has.
“Compare ‘social computing’ to, e.g, ‘school food'”.
My dad.
“Love is like standing on wet cement …the longer you stay, the harder it is to leave and you can never let go without leaving your F.O.O.T.P.R.I.N.T.S.”
~???
SFTDP
“if your wish does not come true, something better is meant for you.”
“Those nights when you can’t sleep are because your awake in someone else’s dream’s”
“Three simple rules;
1) If you don’t go after what you want, you will never have it.
2) If you don’t ask, the answer will always be no.
3) If you don’t step forward, you will always be in the same place .”
“When you feel like letting go, remember why you held on for so long.”
“Today, When I was walking home and I saw a squirrel staring at me from the sidewalk. Deciding to indulge the creature, I stood there staring back for a good five minutes. Then I realized it was plastic.”
~????
“To pass the time we will go around the world in 80 days.” –my friend, after I was done complaining that I couldn’t wait 29 for the Kokon
“What’s a PoPo?” Tacky Glue
“A pointless post. If you do it, the PoPoPo-” me
“PoPoPo?” Tacky Glue
“Pointless Post Police. If you PoPo, they’ll fine you chocolate.” me
“I don’t get it? Find you chocolate?” Tacky Glue
“Fine you chocolate, fine you!!” me.
“I know I’m really late. I’m sorry. My cell was off… it got eaten. I mean broken.” Ichigo from Tokyo Mew Mew, explaining to her boyfriend why she was three hours late for her date without mentioning that she was fighting aliens at the time.
“Pizza Palace! Thirty minutes or it’s free… unless your name is Frank De Winne!”- Me. (He was the space station commander at the time.)
“Maybe you’re no son of Poseidon.”
*Percy then rips some water out of the silos and smacks Luke inna FACE before making a trident out of the remaining water*
“Yeah – I think I am the son of Poseidon.”
random guy: “Are you a nerd?”
Me: “Yeah.”
random guy: “At least there’s one nerd at this bus stop.”
Mystery Quote that should be pretty easy: “With the big bouncing inflatable green ball, you will never not ever not say that you don’t not have the big bouncing inflatable green ball!” –???
NIGAHIGA!
Aaaaaand you are correct! That’s my favourite video by them. I also like Off The Pill-2009.
Some quotes (from an I-pod AP):
“I did not hit you, I simply high-fived your face.”
… but it’s still on the list 
I’m not deaf, just ignoring you.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you
I’m not crazy: my reality is simply different from yours.
Come to the dark side: We have cookies!
Welcome to the dark side. Are you surprised we lied about the cookies?
Where have I heard the ‘high-fived your face’ one? It sounds like Calvin and Hobbes, but I don’t remember the context, and it seems like that one would have to have context, and I’m rambling and where have I heard it before?
It’s not Calvin, I have just about every strip memorized. (Really.) I can’t tell any of those…
I know, but I’ve heard it before and I can’t remember where. I generally remember stories, even the mini comic strip ones, fairly well, so I would probably remember it if I’d read it in Calvin and Hobbes.
The Backgrounds App for iTouch and iPhone!!
“It’s an indentation, not a prune.”
-Me (It made perfect sense in context)
“I blew up the plums
that were in the icebox
and which you were probably saving for breakfast
forgive me
I like fire”
-Theodora Goss
It is a terrible thing, this kindness that human beings do not lose. Terrible because when we are finally naked in the dark and cold, it is all we have. We who are so rich, so full of strength, wind up with that small change. We have nothing else to give.
– Ursula K. Le Guin
“…that country where it is always turning late in the year. That country where the hills are fog and the rivers are mist; where noons go quickly, dusks and twilights linger, and midnights stay. That country composed in the main of cellars, sub-cellars, coal-bins, closets, attics, and pantries faced away from the sun. That country whose people are autumn people, thinking only autumn thoughts. Whose people passing at night on the empty walks sound like rain.”
— Ray Bradbury (October Country)
“Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.â€
” ‘We’re in the neighborhood, and we’d love to chat with you about your basement!’ That’s an odd coincidence, because just this morning I was thinking about how much I’d love to talk to the police about stalkers watching my basement.”
-me, regarding one of those brochures people stick on your doorknob every other day
“YOU KILLED MY MINI-MONGOLIAN!! You meanie!!”
“Nobody can beat the CanadArm!” -SpaceUSMC from SVC.
“You are, literally, too stupid to insult.”
*cough*PseudoleaveBobbyalone*cough*
Why would we leave him alone?
Flute player who sits next to me at band: “Did you just say that (name of annoying flute player with terrible posture) is in the Mafia?”
Me: “Um, no…”
“Do your Whoville people face!”
-A random person on the bus tha took the and and dance team to a basketball game yesterday.
Someone (not sure who) talking about the Beatles – “Great… original… novel… talented… sincere… natural… honest…sweet… not conceited… good singers… ‘the most’… great personalities… real good guys… They create unity among teenagers…They never put another group down… They take our mind off things and put a little fun in the world… George has sexy eyebrows.”
Oops. That was me.
No, I didn’t say it. I meant that I posted that under P_M’s name.
But they are.
Actually, George is just totally awesome all around. But you knew that already.
Of course I know that! What kind of a crazy person wouldn’t?
“But I suppose burning your house down would be a great way to get your mind off something for a while.
”
“It’s probably a good cure for hiccups, too.”
-Piggy and Robert on an old R&R thread.
About the Beatles:
/ 
“Once upon a time there were four young fellows who didn’t sing too well separately, but were even louder together.” – ?
I do not agree.
“All right STOP! And collaborate!”
“Word to your CapCom.”
“Expeditions keeping it swell
Up in the lab slash space hotel” – ISS Baby
“Your sandwich is falling.” -My friend D.
“God save the Queen!” -Same friend.
“Some people are like slinkies. They don’t really have a purpose, but it brings joy to you when you push them down the stairs.” -My other friend, W.
I cracked up at that last one.
“I’m glad coexist has a ‘t’ in it”- our pastor at church today
Also, mystery quote: “That is not an evil guinea pig!”
muselover: What could your pastor have meant? It must have been a pun. I agree that coexistence, or existence in general, is much more pleasant with tea in it. And although I don’t play golf, I suppose golf tees make existence more pleasant, too. Still, surely he couldn’t have been talking about either of those things.
Wait—was he referring to those “COEXIST” bumper stickers on which each letter looks like a different religious symbol? That must be it.
That makes sense…
I think that’s what he meant.
Yes. There are a lot of them down in SoCal, and he used them as a sermon example.
Really? I’ve never seen one.
I had one as my avatar for a while. You might or might not have seen it.
Tea!
What kinds do you people like? I like herbal teas, and green teas with fruit or lemongrass. Mm, tea.
Anyone want to guess my mystery quote?
“Well, here comes the President, but first a word from Pepsi-dent!
Have whiter teeth, have cleaner breath, when you’re facing nuclear death!”
“Somehow it is strange to hear the state department say
‘You live in the free world, in the free world you must stay.’ ”
Phil Ochs songs I’m listening to right now.
“I think I have a sudden and inexplicable crush on Alan Shepard. Is this normal? What do I do?”- Codename Sunshine
Me: Why am I dancing around the kitchen?
Pseudo: Because you like dancing.
Me: That’s right. But I’m not very good at it. But I like it, and that’s good, because that’s what makes the world go ’round.
A very strange conversation I had with the class “bully” (I guess that’s what you could call him):
Me: What do you do for fun?
M: I…bake. I cook.
Me: Besides that.
M: I play video games. And I play card games! And I play with pillows!!!
Conversation at lunch with my friends (we were all sharing recent dreams):
“Well your dreams are all Disney fairy tales compared to mine! I dreamt that I finally met Paul McCartney, and I got his autograph and everything, and then Sudo popped out of nowhere and shoved my head into Enceladus’ French horn in which Sudo vomited after hearing that Enc and Magnolia are going to get married! It was horrifying!”
My best friend: “Enc and Magnolia are getting married?! You’re right; that is horrifying.”
…And that’s why she’s my best friend. She says hello to you all, by the way.
Is your best friend the one coming to the kokon?
She may or may not; we are still working out the details. *fingers crossed* Why?
That friends sounds absolutely flamablamablous.
You won’t believe how happy she’ll be to hear that Enceladus of all people, complimented her.
OMG! Enceladus talked! Enceladus, Enceladus! Sign my face!!!
Sorry, that was a bit sarcastic.
*signs P_M’s face* *in permanent marker*
Even though permanent marker isn’t exactly ‘permanent’.
Why would it surprise her I complimented her? I mean, I don’t hate everyone else.
It didn’t surprise her, it just made her exceptionally glad… But she would be rather embarassed if I explained why she was so happy. Catch my drift?
Oh dear.
Ohh… If I think I know what you mean I can see why she’d be embarrassed.
I think you just explained it
*doesn’t get it and now is feeling left out* *pouts* *hopes someone will make it clear*
Really, Sudo?
Apparently you’re much denser than I had thought. I won’t explain, that’s for sure. That would most likely be extremely embarrassing to SilverLining’s friend.
*pouts adorably*
Ew, Sudo darling, that pout was not adorable. I will say that she is kind of obsessed with Enceladus. She’s got it into her head that he looks like a guy from our school with whom she also obsessed. (The guy is pretty good-looking, so it’s not like that’s insulting to Enc. If he cares.) But anyway! There’s your answer.
Well, is the guy an eight grader? Do his friends deserve to go to a mental institution? How many friends does he seem to have?
If he seems to have around 6 friends, but only sits with two of them, then that’s eerily like me.
He’s in seventh grade. See the Random Thread discussion about the girl in your band class with the “Coo Coo C’Choo” shirt for further details.
Sudo! I told you already! (See above) Stop pouting!
Fine. *pouts menacingly*
I know. I’m just pouting because you told me that my pout is not adorable, and I inferred that it must be gross or ugly or menacing, so I’m pouting menacingly because it is fun. Rar.
Rar yourself. I just don’t find pouts cute. I think they’re just…pouts.
Speller–Yes, it was Fame as in “I’m gonna live forever.” It was also the new one. (I haven’t seen the original.)
And so this isn’t a completely PoPo, I will now quote Bill Watterson: “Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.”
Wait, Silver Lining, why isn’t your friend on MB then?
I have asked her this several times. Her answer? “Because I am lazy. And I also don’t have time to spend my entire life on the computer updating strangers about my life. Just kidding! Maybe.” Then she smiles and goes back to watching Fame.
Fame? As in “I’m gonna live forever” Fame? *loves the original and hates the new one*
Halloa! right back at you, Silver Lining’s best friend!
My mom: Your head is making strange noises.
My head actually was making rather odd noises. XD
Me:….. You mean the veterans? ….Ugh, Mom! I can’t believe you made me say that!
Me: I actually used to believe you when you used to tell me that you were a giraffe in a zoo untill Daddy came along and kissed you and you turned into a princess. I believed it until i was in second grade!?
(It’s true, sadly…. I’m so gullible.)
Janet(a character out of one of my stories): Are you sure you’re not a hallucination?
“My nose hurts. Actually, my eye hurts, but I was just too lazy to say ‘eye’, so I just said nose.” –my friend
*cracks up*
“The sensei thought he was a canteloupe.”- Me.
There should be a QUESTION MARK at the end, and I said “The sensei thought he was ATHLETIC!” ATHLETIC!
Mystery quote:
“So are you saying that somebody went to all the trouble to make you a crypt 10,000 years ago on the off chance that you would show up, walk in, and have a convenient heart attack?”
Mystery quote (I seriously doubt anyone will get it):
“Oh my soul…so odd.” It’s from a song, but neccessarily the lyrics.
Ms. C.: And then Beatlemania hit, and we were cutting pictures out of the newspaper and we all wanted to marry Paul because he was the cutest!
Pseudo: Right. *has silent conniption*
“The one that looks the most like Nobby Nobbs/ a primate/ not human is Ringo…
The one that looks a cute monkey is George…
The one with a fat face is John,
And the best looking one is Paul.”
-Me, explaining how to tell the Beatles apart. I’m scared that Silver Lining and Keiffer and Pseudonym are going to murder me in my sleep now.
No, actually, I kind of agree with you. *runs with Sudo from Keiffer and Pseudonym*
XD
Brilliant.
Uh… well, I don’t agree with you… but I’m not going to murder you, because Pseudonym jinxed us, and we’re all going to die at the kokon. I could murder you then if you like?
John was cute for, like, a year, then he was weird looking. George is NOT CUTE! George is quite handsome but he is not cute. And Ringo does look like a primate.
No Ringo doesn’t!!!
Well, not to get technical on y’all, but all humans, including Ringo Starr, are primates.
That’s what I keep telling Keiffer and Pseudonym… for some reason they don’t like it.
They’re stubborn that way, I suppose.
Yes! Finally someone admits that I’m stubborn besides me! Thank you, my blogling.
You’re welcome. I only said it because I am really really stubborn myself. Another reason why we are bloglings! *random high-five*
*high-fives randomly back*
I didn’t murder you the first time you said that, did I?
Although another way to find George (usually) is by looking for the most depressed-seeming one.
Also, I know Ringo is a primate. Once you said he looked like an ape, though.
Random person in math:
“If practice makes perfect and no one is perfect, then why practice?”
Some things in life are just so simple like that… but then… you never notice.
And when you do, it’s hilarious.
From a story I’m writing…
B-movie narrator: “Can humanity ever hope to survive an… INVASION FROM PLANET X?!?!”
Joel: “I don’t know, you tell us, dude.”
That sure sounds like an MST3K episode, especially since it’s a B-movie and one of the commentators is names Joel…weird.
It’s a story where one of the characters happens to be named Joel, and on Halloween, he and his friends decide to watch a B-movie and comment on it like MST3K “Because we already have a guy named Joel.”
“Sex? Where!? HELP!!!!”-a priest from one of the Cartoon History of the Universe books.
Oh, I remember that… My Schol Bowl team has been studying out of those books.
Wasn’t that a Gonick book?
Yeah! The best book ever!!!
I’ll try to remember to get it from the library, then.
I love those books…
“Did you just say I got my tonsils out?” Me, hearing someone or other wrong once again.
Then I said something like “Wouldn’t I remember getting my own tonsils out?” after whoever it was answered. But, I suppose, I wouldn’t remember.
“There are no cool British guys… except for James Bond, Bear Grylls, The Doctor, Harry Potter…”
Bleep, I pressed “Submit” too soon! I forgot to atribute that to my brother.
…The Beatles…
Yes, he went on and on. That’s what made it so funny.
“I had lunch with a chess champion the other day. It took him twenty minutes to pass the salt.”
-I don’t actually know. My thingy that produces quotes doesn’t produce who they’re by. Which means I have an interesting time figuring out if I actually know it every time one I know comes up. I’m pretty sure it just quoted Harry Potter, and I think it’s quoted Calvin and Hobbes before too, but I really can’t be sure.
Mystery quotes:
“I believe that woman’s plannin’ to shoot me again.”
“Riley, that book is a children’s story and not, I repeat, NOT an instructional guide to holiday theft.”
“Not my war. Best o’ luck, though.”
“I HATE APOLOGIZING!!!”
“I was curious… what is his job on this ship?”
“…Public relations.”
Is the second one from National Treasure?
No. Good guess based on the name, but no.
“Good luck with the bloke in the metal cigar case, miss.”
-Sabriel
“She probably left him for another flute player, one with a bigger flute.”
-Ian Anderson, the weirdest and most awesome flute player ever!
Can’t argue there.
“Whenever I don’t make a comment, either a cat just exploded or I don’t like this guy’s hair.” –my friend, upon being asked why she was so quiet.
“My middle name is Normal! No, actually, it’s Hacksaw.” –same friend. I’m starting to worry about her.
More mystery quotes:
“Have you got- WILL YOU SHUT THAT BLOODY DANCIN’ OFF?!”
“The monkey was right. She wasn’t just hiding Lyra – she was hiding her own eyes.”
Golden Compass?
That was my guess as well, just because I know the girl’s name is Lyra.
Eh, you’re sort of on the right track. Right book series, at least.
Yeah, I knew the girl’s name was Lyra. So, what about The Subtle Knife? I can’t remember the name of the other book. I’ll have to go searching for it.
Subtle Knife?
No. Getting warmer, though.
Amber Spyglass for the 2nd one, I think Monty Python for the 1st.
Ahh, Amber Spyglass! That was the name. I was too lazy to go look for it.
Right on the second one, a bit more specific on the first?
Monty Python and the Holy Grail?
Flying Circus. Forget which episode.
SFTDP
I know that because my memory was recently refreshed. I was watching the MST3K movie Santa Claus, and a girl was talking to her mom, and there was an organ grinder in the background. So, of course, Tom Servo said, “WILL YOU SHUT THE BLOODY ORGAN GRINDER UP????”
Man, best TV show EVER.
“I picture a vertical pig getting its tail stepped on and waving its legs and squealing!” -Pseudo.
“You’ve never heard of the X-Men? You two are dead to me now.” – Dr. Kate Eaves
Mystery Quote:
“Goaded by the interference into a rage more than demoniacal, I withdrew my arm from her grasp and buried the axe in her brain. She fell dead upon the spot without a groan.”
Anyone know?
No, but I get the feeling that I don’t want to know.
Why not?
Um. Gore. Axes in people’s brains. Not pleasant. (To me at least.)
I just randomly came across it… somewhere, in something, so I posted it here, to see if anybody could figure out where it came from.
(Just barely gave it away, there.)
It’s an Edgar Allen Poe story. I think it has a cat in it?
The Black Cat?
Yep, do you know the name of the story? It’s not very long.
The Black Cat? Just a semi random guess.
Yeah. I got that (and others) out of the library today.
Me: Hey, will you come with me to finish up some chem work? It’ll only take a minute.
A: Sure… unless the teacher will get mad because she doesn’t know me, I’m not her student…
Me: Well, she does have a security system that has all her students’ DNA coded in, and if the system doesn’t recognize you it pulls out the laser cannons, and– [A has her “almost actually believing this but in a little bit of doubt” face on] You’re actually believing this, aren’t you.
A: NO. [leaves]
Mystery Quote:
“Barefoot on the moon!”
Shaheim ( in Social Studies, talking to Ms. S ) Ms. S, are you a judge at History Day.
Ms. S. No, I’m the head!
Shaheim: The head judge?
LATER
Ms. S ( talking to Kellie ) They said you should have gotten some interviews in person with women veterans..
Shaheim: They could have interviewed my mother.
Ms. S. Oh, your mother was a soldier?
Shaheim: No. But she was going to be!
Mystery quote:
“Didn’t she shoot you once?”
“Everyone’s making a fuss.”
QuantumG: “As long as a copy of this recording exists, Ron McNair will live on.”
Me: “Am I a terrible person if that sentence made me think of ‘The Ring’?”
(Talking about the Jean-Michel Jarre song “Last Rondez-Vous (Ron’s Piece)”)
“Should we have stayed home and thought of here?” –Elizabeth Bishop. For some reason, I absolutely love that quote.
Quote of the day:
“t’s like a bird just regurgitated my brain into some kind of mush that a baby would eat. Then people are pelting it with sooooooo much incorrect info that it just simply hurts.” –Beautacious Kate
(This is from a story I’m Round Robining with my friends. Paraphrased, though.)
“Most people scream when they fall a long distance. 60% of me wanted to do just that, while the other 40% wanted to yell “Wheeeeeeee!” I decided to go with the latter.
Intelligence testing Yale lady (ITYL): “I’m going to read you four words. Name the two that are connected and tell me why.”
Me: “Okay.”
*We do several forgettable ones*
ITYL: “Liberal, conservative, idiot, ineffective.”
*Long pause*
Me: “Liberal and conservative are both part of the political spectrum.”
(This REALLY HAPPENED, I swear. I wonder how many people are actually serious and how many people make a political joke with that question)
Ooooh… Awkward. *twitch*
Herm. I would’ve said idiot and ineffective, because they both start with I.
a qoute form a high school entrance essay I wrote
“Communication is so much easier if you aren’t inanimate”
SFTDP- a snippit of conversation from today
Me: Who is Chuck Norris?
obnoxious boy in my class: MY GOD!!1
We are watching a documentary about the oceans in science class. Mr. NotSoSharp is asking everybody questions and giving them candy if they get the right answer.
Mr. NotSoSharp: Paulo, how far can a penguin fly?
Paulo: Umm, three meters?
Class: *laughs*
Five minutes later, Mr. NotSoSharp feels bad for Paulo and asks him another question.
Mr. NotSoSharp: Paulo, how long can a shark hold its breath?
Paulo: Uh, twenty minutes?
Class: *laughs pants off*
It amazes me how dense my classmates can be.
Paulo sounds like one girl in my school. I swear, she would believe in magic if five people told her it was real.
But Magic is real. If you know what I mean by ‘real’.
Hey, that reminds me of when I watched this entirely unfunny video in Spanish class the other day. It was only funny to my classmates, who apparently think that the pinnacle of humor is a man riding on a burrito. (Really.)
From a conversation with one of my friends:
“I am GAA-RLIC SALT! Halt and you will be SEASONED! This is not war! This is ITALIAN COOKING!”
This really happened in the car on the way to Staples today after school:
Me: “Hey mom, what’s the name of that big amusement park in California?”
Mom: “Disney Land.”
Me: “But isn’t that in Florida?”
Little Sister(LS): “No, that’s Disney World.”
Me: “Why don’t they just call them both Disney Land, then? It’s so confusing!”
Mom: “It’s a chain.”
Me: “Of amusement parks? That’s stupid.”
LS: “No it’s not stupid.”
*five minute intermission*
Me: “So [little sister], why did you choose Arizona for your book project?”
LS: “Well, it has cacti.”
Me: “Why didn’t you pick Nebraska?”
LS: “Because it has to be in the United States, duh.”
Mom: “That is in the United States.”
Me: “Yeah.”
Lola: *stares with mouth agape* “Really?!?!”
Me: “No duh, Sherlock.”
Mom: “Don’t talk like that to your sister.”
Me: *groan*
It really happened. I swear on my liver, it happened.
…
Speaking as a Nebraskan, I wish this was less common than it seems to be. But, er, why did you suggest Nebraska, out of curiosity?
Hang on, wait, what? People don’t know that Nebraska is in the US? I mean, I know lots of people don’t/didn’t know Alaska is part of the US, but Nebraska????? *sigh* That’s just sad. But then, I could name all 50 states (occasionally having trouble remembering a few, but certainly would know if I heard the name that it was a state) when I was 10 or younger……
People also sometimes think New Mexico isn’t in the US.
We had to memorize all 50 states and capitols in 5th Grade.
In fourth grade we learned a song containing every single state name in alphabetical order.
Oh, there’s some kid that used to be in my sister’s class that was like, a super-mega-hyper-genius at geography. When he was in first or second grade, he was talking to my dad about countries in Africa, and my dad as a joke said, “Can you tell me all the countries in Africa in backwards alphabetical order?” And the kid said, “…Well… I suppose you’d have Zimbabwe… then Zambia…”
My dad stopped him there, but how much do you want to bet that he’d have said Zairre next?
We had to memorize all of them in 4th/5th grade or so, so I’ve never really had that problem.
When I was younger, I thought that everyone lived on different planets.
I think it’s more common to think Hawaii isn’t in the U.S., at least based on my social studies class.
I don’t know. It was the first thing that came to mind.
A Friend: “Life depends on luck.”
Me: “What you call luck is what I call fate.”
169- People getting Disneyland and Disney World mixed up is one of my big pet peeves. I also don’t like it when people think the Magic Kingdom is all of Disney World and they go “We went to Disney, then we went to EPCOT, then we went to Animal Kingdom…”
Living in San Diego, I have that problem too.
Firefly quotes:
“Here’s a little concept I been working on – uh, why don’t we shoot her first?”
“It is her turn.”
-Kayne and Wash
“Testing – testing, captain, can you hear me?”
“I’m standing right here.”
“You’re coming through good and loud.”
” ‘Cause I’m standing right here.”
“Well yeah, but- the transmitter’s…”
-Kayne and Mal
“Captain, can you stop her from being cheerful, please?”
“I don’t reckon there’s a power in the ‘verse can stop Kaylee from being cheerful. Sometimes you just want to duct tape her mouth and dump her in the hold for a month.”
*kissing him on the cheek* “I love my captain.”
-Kayne, Mal, and Kaylee
*he has just shown her the box of strawberries* “Wooooooh – grandpa…”
*with a smile* “I never married.”
-Kaylee and Shepherd Book
“The man’s psychotic.”
*cut to the bridge where the main crew is laughing their heads off*
“You are psychotic!”
“And Kaylee’s really OK?”
“Yeah. Oh, I shouldn’t have done that – I’m a bad man.”
-Simon, Wash, Zoe, and Mal
“Let me do the math here… nuthin’ divided by nuthin’ – carry the nuthin’ – equals… nuthin’!”
-Kayne
(Disclaimer: We were both eight at the time)
Me: “How come the states in Canada are called provinces?”
Kid from Toronto: “I dunno. How come the provinces in the US are called states?”
This is an excerpt from a conversation I ha with my friends on a car ride. I might have posted this before on an old thread but oh well (it may be long):
“I’m not eating a chair! And I’m not eating Kate!”
“Unless you want to eat my shoes, which are made of beef!”
“Are they sautéed?”
“I’m a fuzzy cannibal!”
“Go Ray Allen!”
“Are you telling that to the tree?”
“Are you going the Wacky Shack?”
“What?”
“You know, we are very strange. I just noticed that.”
“You just noticed that? You’re not very observant, Abby.”
“GET OUT OF THE ROAD!”
(My mom) “Girls, use Girl Scout politeness.”
“PLEASE GET OUT OF THE ROAD!”
“Hmm. I just imagined a banana-Cleopatra.”
“It looks like you were an elusive moose that day!”
“I wonder if you can arrest mooses.”
“Stalker-kitty…”
“No, she needs a theme song.”
“Let’s call Tom Hanks; he’s my best friend!”
“You know what, Alison, it’s the LAW!”
“Have you ever heard of the pooping moped?”
“You finally said Kokon right!”- Me. My mom said Kokon right yesterday, and it’s been, like, a month? (Well if it hasn’t been a month, it seems like it.)
“Deke Slayton fishing in the Soviet Union during Apollo-Soyuz Test Project training. With Cosmonaut Backup Commander Anatoli Filipchenko, who obviously neglected to tell Deke that in Soviet Russia, fish catch you.”- Codename Sunshine, the mistress of hilarious yet accurate captions.
A great Naruto quote that I just read:
Naruto: MY NAME IS UZUMAKI NARUTO!! AND NONE OF YOU ARE GONNA BEAT ME!!!! YOU GOT THAT?
Kabuto: What’s his problem?!
Sakura: Typical. Too stupid to know he’s got problems.
MYSTERY QUOTE:
“******, my old friend, I heard you were dead.” “I was,” said ******, “but I’m better now.”
The names would give it away.
Hm. I know this. I definitely know this…
Holmes?
Wait! No! Artemis Fowl! Butler! *congratulates himself*
yes! You are right!
My favorite AF quote:
“Put it this way. How fond are you of your ribs?”
Mystery quote:
“My hovercraft is full of eels.”
Monty Python! The Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook sketch!
“Now, flap your arms! Go on, flap faster, eh!- faster, faster, faster, faster, faster, now JUMP! *the guy jumps and falls* WRONG! Wrong! You’re no bloody use at all! You’re an utter, bloody WASHOUT! You make me sick, you WEED!”
-Flying sketch
“There. Now where’s the bleedin’ wire?”
“That hoop’s got a hole in it.”
” ‘Oh, Eatlyn and Mordy, the hoop has a hole in it-‘ ‘COURSE IT’S GOT A HOLE IN IT, OTHERWISE IT WOULDN’T BE A HOOP, WOULD IT MORSCH?!”
-Flying sketch
Two years later
“Gosh, I am glad I’m a fully qualified airline pilot.”
“The British Airline Pilot’s Association would like to point out that it takes a chap six years to become a fully qualified airline pilot and not two!”
Four years later than the previous caption
*the pilots shrug*
“Thank you.”
-Flying sketch
I don’t know if the GAPAs will let me post this, but it’s so priceless that I have to at least try…
[Post a long off-the-blog chat with other MBers? On the Quotations thread? Sorry, Silver. –Admin.]
‘Tis fine. Anyway…
“All the world’s/A birthday cake/So take a piece, but not too much…”
–George Harrison
A line from a short story I’m writing.
“Fine.†I said, still boiling on the inside. “But if you come back with fresh bruises, I am going to rip his intestines out and stuff them in his mouth.â€
-Elspeth the dragon
It’s funny, in a sickening sort of way.
I want to meet that guy. No, make that I need to meet that guy.
The dragon? Or the guy the dragon is talking about?
Since no one got my last mystery quote:
“Oh, you public menace!”
The Master, when he’s controlling Britain, and The Doctor shorts out a TV camera.
“Madness? THIS – IS – SPARTA!!!”
-300 (yes, I know it’s an over-used line, but still)