Friday, 19 April 2024
Life, the universe, pies, hot-pink bunnies, world domination, and everything
We’ve given up trying to understand this thread. Referring to Ships’ Logs: Part Three is no help at all. People do seem to be having fun here, though; there’s no denying that. So… welcome aboard.
Note: Prarilius Canix has posted an excellent synopsis in Comment 5.
Date: December 4, 2006
Categories: Nonrandom Craziness
ARGH!!!!!!!!!! ay mates, fire up the film canisters and blast the bottle rockets in to oblivion!
0
0
Zero-G Pie Throwing
This will fun!
I challenge whoever’s post is right after mine!
0
0
WHA HA! engarde Darth Yoda! touche! bombay! partay! SPLATFULL! ooh… i got the first post.
SWEET!
ahhhhhhhhh! catch me off guard why don’tcha???
*backflips all matrix-like and splats D Yoda in face*
0
0
The Zommer Vaycayshun sets sail tomorrow.
0
0
In the meantime, I will try to explain this thread so that the GAPAs can post my explanation on the blurb for future sequels.
It all started when the GAPAs set up a Chuck Norris thread. Originally, MBers discussed Chuck Norris alone on the thread, but then the topic slipped to other movies, then to books, and finally, inevitably, to Watership Down. That topic ran rampant until the GAPAs changed it to a Watership Down thread. That act enraged the Norrisers, and they attacked the Watershippers. The Watershippers fought back, but the assaults were only verbal until someone had the idea of throwing a pie. That was truly the shot heard ’round the world, or at least the Musiverse. More sides joined in, most notably the Jadestones (led by… who else? Jadestone), the Pie War Lovers (throwing pies for the sake of throwing pies), and the Neutrals (just for the heck of it). Alliances were forged and broken, mighty fortresses were raised up and then cast down, great scientific discoveries were made and then squandered in the construction of massive war engines. Eventually, after five threads of bloodshed, two great sides fought each other to a standstill. And there, on the ravaged, crust-strewn battlefield, the military leaders signed the famous Lemon Meringue Treaty, and pledged to rebuild civilization. Upon the collected debris of thousands of pies, the mighty nation of Museica blossomed and prospered.
In the aftermath of the war, a few brave souls were drawn to the newly shaped coastline- some by scientific curiosity to find out how the world’s geography had changed under the impact of colossal baked goods, some by righteous patriotism and a sense of duty to free the seas from the grip of pie-rates, some by the wild lure of adventure upon the high seas. A mighty fleet of ships was launched upon the young, unsullied oceans.
0
0
Well recounted, PC! Your description is both poetically phrased and historically accurate.
0
0
7- Thank you. Will it be posted on the blurb?
0
0
5-Ever so beatiful and poetic. Although I must say, I was, at first, anyway, lured by the adventure of sailing the high seas.
0
0
YAY! We got a part 4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I have to see what happened back in part 3 while I was gone.
0
0
Well, I think our party is comeing to an end. 
But now we can searching for the treasure! Now I, the Enchilada Steamers head cook, will make the preparations for the trip! We’ll all need a bag lunch and a waterbottle each!
0
0
Okay! Now we’re all set! Let’s go! 
0
0
what boat am i (cheesemonkey) on again? i furget! whuh huhhuhhuuh
0
0
Jugglebug, you are the Governing Muser of Hydropastrica. Didn’t you know?
0
0
We will now launch the Zommer Vaycayshun. The pie tournament continues until we reach the Moon, which we will colonize and then go on to Musicalifornia and the PPP.
Mr. Ubergard, set the tholiatomine drive to Half Power. Mr. Nurknur, Ms. Lembar, raise the Solar Sails.
0
0
ohh…. sweet!
Governing Muser of Hydropastrica.
GMoH
Hydropastrica. Water Pastry Ca?
hmm… cool!
0
0
~~~~~~~~~~~~SHIP’S LOG~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~OF THE ZOMMER VAYCAYSHUN~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dec. 5. First Voyage. We have caught a strong outward solar wind which has propelled us to the edge of the Earth’s atmosphere. This is a historic moment, as Earth has not been seen from space since before the Pie War. The graceful shapes of the continents Navenk and Dor dominate my view, with a bit of Iknurowlis to be seen on my left, and on my right, the blue of the Dornavenk Gulf merges into the more colorful Filling Sea.
Mr. Ubergard is preparing to set the Tholiatomine Drive to full power. The Carbonic Filter Field is running at ninety-nine point eight seven efficiency, plenty to get us to the Moon. Once there, we can replenish it.
The warning klaxon is sounding. The acceleration will probably be enough to cause us to black out. I’m lying down on my bunk, as is the rest of the crew, so that it causes us minimal damage. I hope I finish this log entry before w~~~~~~~ *
0
0
~
Sorry about the ink dribbles on the previous page. I didn’t finish the entry.
We have reached outer space. With the T-drive at full power, we will probably get to the moon on December 8. Until then… Zero-G Pie Throwing Party!
~
0
0
BAMBABY! *mysterious pies floats in out of no where*
0
0
~
A large grouping of pies has come into view off the port side. This is surprising, because we are currently in deep space heading towards the Moon.
The pies act eerily similar to a shoal of fish, darting under our keel with quick bursts of gas and basking in the light of the Sun. My theory is that these are descendants of pies that passed through the Van Allen belts of radiation around the Earth and mutated. New plants began growing from stray seeds in the filling, acting in a symbiotic relationship with the microscopic molds and fungi that piggybacked on the pie. Eventually, these pies evolved into self-contained biospheres of a sort, which only require sunlight to survive, recycling all nutrients. Our jellyboat, the Klassroum Haus, has also been equipped with a Carbonic Filter Field and Solar Sails, though it does not need a T-drive. Are there any volunteers to go out and gather some of these pie organisms for examination?
~
0
0
*pies float around, randomly hitting people*
0
0
I’ll do it, captain! Bandit will have to stay on board, though. I don’t think she likes space as much as sea. *dons suit, not as bulky as modern ones and looking more like a sailors clothes* I like these new uniforms, though. Allright, Pies, here I come! *ventures into space*
0
0
Thank you, Jadestone. Shut down T-drive, Mr. Ubergard.
0
0
*Sneaks up and pies Jugglebug in the back.*
0
0
Jugglebug, (Cheesemonkey) for some reason I thought that you were on the Enchilaqda Steamer. I’ll go back and check.
0
0
After further observation I have seen that you did not clarify which ship you would join. So, you could probbubly join any ship.
0
0
Darth Yoda! I saw that! Why did you just unmercifully pie Jugglebug?! By the way, I forgot, which ship are you on Darth Yoda?
Hey! Why are we going to the moon?!!!!!!! Aren’t we looking for the treasure on Crouton Isle?! :?:!:
0
0
I`m on the zoomer too! this is fun!
0
0
Seeing as we are heading toward the moon, I suppose it would be a good time to harvest some cheese. So, tonight we will have ramon noodle soup with cheese crackers. All kinds of cheese. Blue, parmeson, mozzerella, american, chedder, colby jack, hot pepper, red, etc.
0
0
I’d like to join a crew. who wants me? can i be on the Zommer Vaycayshun? You got a head chef?
0
0
Kiwimuncher, you are aboard the Enchilada Steamer, right? I don’t think that ship is going to the moon.
0
0
Violetfire, we already have a head cook, but you can be Navigator if you want.
0
0
~
Dec. 6. Two days till we reach the Moon. Our Quartermaster has caught some of the space pies for examination. They are being stored in large glass vacuum tanks where the sunlight can reach them.
After studying my star charts, I thought that the best moon landing site would be the Sea of Nectar. However, if any can think of a better place, please tell me. I’m not an expert on the Moon.
~
0
0
~
My theory about the pies was correct. All they need to survive is sunlight, and they get plenty of it out here.
I wonder if the Moon now has life. It probably has very extreme seasons, if so, and its creatures will have to cope with a thin atmosphere (the pies didn’t release much) and low gravity.
There has been fair weather today, as much as there can even be weather in space. The solar wind is strong, but not overly so, and Deemo Elbunn is repairing our CFF. There isn’t really much to do here, considering that my pie tournament opponent hasn’t been posting. Speaking of which…
~
*sneaks out of cabin*
*throws mango honey pie at nerdz_r00l*
~
If nerdz_r00l responds, it will liven things up. I will go back to my observation of the space pies.
~
0
0
Today, I saw PC throw A mango-honey pie at me. I tsted the mango. I tasted like…CHEESE! I wounder how mango can taste like cheese, but oh well.
0
0
After further observation of the pies, I have conculded that, unfortunatly, they are not sentient. Yet. Who can tell if they’ll evolve to be so? I wonder it they’re mor plant or animal. If plant, we could grow them and have endless pies for food and such…hmm…
0
0
can someone make a list of the crews? how many ships are there?
navigator it is! Lets land at Crater Lake. Although there’s no actual water, the crater is the exact shape as a giant pie tin, so we could bake a little something.
0
0
We could bake a giant pie!
It seems to me that those pies are rather plantlike, but I do not know.
*sends pie into the air, where it floats around in the zero gravity*
Oops! I think the pie just hit somebody…
0
0
23. OUCH.
26. we are still in the middle of a zero gravity pie war.
and Darth Yoda can be on the Hydropastrica! i am the governing muser and am taking applications.
0
0
so are we there yet?
0
0
Anyone need a ship’s cook?
0
0
what are the different ships, is my question, and by the way, i am the hydropastrica’s only crew HINT HINT HINT
0
0
40.) WE DO!!!!!! OOO! OOO! application below
are you quick with cannons?
can you use a stove?
can you make a grilled cheese sandwich???
are you afraid of pirates?
can you make shaving cream pies quickly?
do you have a good throwing arm?
can you think of another question???
if you answered yes to all these questions, (besides the bottom one) you are our new head chef!!!!
yay!
if not, you are still our new head chef!!!!
yay!
0
0
Hydropastrica is a country, NOT a ship.
0
0
~
Dec. 7. One day till we land at Crater Lake on the Moon. We don’t think that there’s any water in it, but who knows? Maybe the pies hitting the Moon released enough liquid and gas to start a water cycle.
The CFF is fully repaired. nerdz_r00l tells me that the mango in the pie tasted like cheese. Hmm. I must check my three remaining dueling pies to see if they have been sabotaged…
0
0
AAAA!!!!!
My dueling pies have been filled with explosive cheese! Somebody doesn’t want the crew of the Zommer Vaycayshun to reach the Moon!
*dumps pies overboard*
Who could be the culprit?
0
0
AAAHHH!!! EXPLOSIVE CHEESE!!! I might’ve swallowed some of that!!!
0
0
Oh.. cOol. Can I please join a ship?
And GAPAs, I have the strange feeling that all of my posts are getting zapped. 
0
0
Hehehe. Explosive cheese. I’ve stowed away on the Zommer Vaycayshun to stabotage the mission!
*Steers Zommer towards Pie-Meteor Shower*
0
0
Darth Yoda, you traitor!!!! Get out of the engine room with your hands above your head, or I’ll pie your brains out!!!
0
0
Nooo!!! *tackles DY* Not alowed!! Captain! Help me! Someone grab the controls! I can’t and hold this stowaway at the same time!
0
0
Fluffy, get down here with a papaya dumpling launcher and clap this landlubber in irons! We’re in a bad situation here, because Darth Yoda holds the engine room and we can’t steer! This close to the moon, we might crash! Justinia, ready the Haus in case we need to abandon ship!
0
0
Excellent work, Jadestone! Grab him, Fluffy! Somebody untie Mr. Ubergard- Darth Yoda must have knocked him out and bound him. We may have to make an emergency landing- we’re to close to the Moon to correct our course. Mr. Ubergard, take us down in the Sea of Crises- it’s the closest. Fluffy, take Darth Yoda to the interrogation room. We have to find out who paid him off to do this and why.
0
0
Dec. 8. A traitor to Museica tried to sabotage our mission, so we are making an emergency landing in the Sea of Crises. The Moon must have an atmosphere, because the external pressure on the Carbonic Filter Field is rising, and the air resistance is burning up the prow!
~
Pull up!!!
SPLOOSH!! CRUNCH!!
~
Hmm. The Sea of Crises seems to have a faintly green liquid in it now, with small gelatinous creatures that look like long worms with tapering tails. They’re a sort of cloudy white, with a cluster of jewel-like red eyes at the top of their heads. To make the name of the sea consistent, I think they should be called Kryseez (singular: Krysiss.)
New species aside, the T-drive has been ruined, as tholiatomine diffuses whenever it’s within a meter of water. The engine room is normally sealed, so this wouldn’t be a problem, but it was pierced by a Pie Meteor. We are stranded on the Moon, along with several hundred civilians and the Chief Justice of Museica. The Sea of Crises is aptly named.
~
0
0
I think I will send up a distress signal. All of our explosive pies will be launched up out of the atmosphere, and there they will detonate, making an explosion visible from Earth as a tiny glowing dot above the Sea of Crises.
0
0
sniffle. well then.
NEW SHIPPISH ROCKET MABOB
the DweegenBorgmeister, representing Hydropastrica.
and WE ARE STILL ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS.
Kiki??? PLEASE!!! all spots except captinavigator are open.
0
0
Excellent news! A spectroscopic scan of the shore shows that there is a large deposit of tholiatomine to the northwest. Don’t send up the distress signal; we can blast a mine shaft with the explosive pies. In the meantime, we must have volunteers to go on a land expedition and find a good place for the colony, Lunar Museica. Any who wish to go?
0
0
*ACHOO!*
Oh, sorry. I guess I’m the stowaway. Yeah, I’ve been in the galley the whole time- please don’t throw me overboard! I’m an orphan!
SPLAT!
Okay, Darth Yoda, enough with exploding cheese pies.
0
0
QED, you are welcome aboard this ship.
0
0
QED- you can join our ship and not be a stowaway!
the DweegenBorgmeister is it’s name! and we are looking for
head chef
first mate
engineer
lookout
or anything else you can possibly think of
0
0
~
Dec. 9. I recently had a horrible attack of Skool, but a compound of Finnishomwerkol and Weekendiol has sent it into remission. The tholiatomine mine is going well. Deemo Elbunn and I are going out to look for a good place to begin the colony. We have gone west from the Sea of Crises in the Haus and are sailing through the air above a large mushroom forest. Many four-winged avian creatures are flapping about among the fungus trees.
~
0
0
~
Dec. 9. continued. We have come to the shore of the Sea of Tranquility. Its spectacular blue-violet waters lap at a shore of fertile soil where great stands of mushrooms grow up to a hundred feet. This will probably be a good place for the first city of Lunar Museica. We are now heading back to the Zommer Vaycayshun.
~
0
0
53-acully the bakers are in hidorplastria.I’ll call asas for help.see part 3
0
0
62- There are some civilians here who wanted to colonize the moon. Only a few of them are bakers.
0
0
Who and what is asas?
0
0
Where was I when this thread was made? I was the first-mate on the black-footed-ferret.
0
0
65- This is a problem. Since you haven’t posted since the second thread, Capricious, I put Fluffy in your former position. However, if you want to take back your position, Fluffy will be Governing Muser of Lunar Museica. I asked him, and he said he has often wanted to be a government official. We are currently aboard the Zommer Vaycayshun, a spaceworthy vessel on a voyage to inspect the colonies of the Museican Commonwealth. I still command the Black-footed Ferret, though.
0
0
The Zommer Vaycayshun is ready to launch. We will take the colonists over to the future location of Luna City, capital of Lunar Museica, before sailing on to the Pieceful Pie Planet.
0
0
I know I wasn’t. But I’m back for good. I’d love my position back, but if you would like, I could do something else instead.
Aye aye.
You know, I need frequent reminders when these things happen. Harumph.
0
0
I have just returned from interrogating Darth Yoda. It was really quite a useless effort, because he remained totally silent, except for laughing manically every once in a while. ohderaohdearohdear.
I think he is planning to escape.
0
0
64- i ment aasa.aasa=abced air and space adminatration.there sending colonest too
0
0
MUHAHAHAHA!
0
0
Ok. I’ll stop if you let me go. Otherwise… *pauses*
BOOM!!!!!
0
0
what ship were you stowed away on, again? was it mine?
Ship’s Log, Zommer Vaycayshun, 12-10
We have landed at Crater Lake, and might possibly bake a very large pie. However, we’re running short of supplies, so we shall have to go to the Mines to get some butter and flour and filling and stuff. Crew, are you with me?
0
0
73- We have not landed at Crater Lake. We had to make an emergency landing at the Mare Crisium due to a sabotage attempt, and we found a good place for the colony. We are shipping the colonists over there now.
0
0
I demand my freedom! I have loaded the storage hold with cheese pies!
0
0
75- Freedom? I’ll give you “freedom”. THROW HIM OVERBOARD!!!!!
0
0
*Lands on asteriod*
I’ll get you Canix! Even if it’s the last things I do…!
0
0
~
Dec. 10. The colony has begun construction of Luna City. That done, we shall sail out to the uncharted deeps of space until we come to Planet Pie.
We tossed the saboteur overboard, but he has sworn revenge. We never found out who he was working for, but he was trying to blow our ship up, so we didn’t have time to interrogate him.
~
0
0
Asteriod’s Log
Day 1
Here I am on asteriod 64017, which I have named the Big Rock. I keep on seeing shapes out of the corner of my eye. I must be going insane…
0
0
I have sent a telegram of warning to the Museican govt. so that they will be on the lookout for conspirators.
0
0
Should we take this ship to the PPP thread now, or wait until we land?
0
0
Or should we pass thru every thread between this one and the PPP? That would give us a reputation for incomprehensible posts…
0
0
Asteriod’s Log
Day 2
Astonding! On this very asteriod I found a colony of pie-like called the pieries. They aggred to help me in my holy cause, and now this asteriod is on corse for the dark side of the moon.
0
0
Asteriod’s Log
Day 3 (Asteriod days are 3 hours)
5 Earth-Days till we land on the moon. The pieries are a fasinating species, apparently they landed up here during the Third Age of The Great Pie War, and where exposed to radiation. Now they have legs and faces!
0
0
“Holy cause?” “Dark side of the moon?” Is the saboteur part of a cult?
0
0
Are there any humans on the asteroid???
0
0
Ummmmmmmm….
*Looks around*
Just me
0
0
Where am I???????????????????????????
What’s your reply??????????
Am I first mate anymore??????????
Have I been Ousted from my point of first-mated-nesssss?????
0
0
I have done some reasearch, and it seems that Darth Yoda was trying to… *gargle* *screams* *faints*
0
0
Ruffled Grouse! No!! Quick someone fetch our docter’s assistant! Oh dear…
0
0
I accept the post of lookout on the DweegenBorgmeister-
*screams bloody murder*
0
0
88- You are aboard the Zommer Vaycayshun.
This is my reply.
Yes, you are first mate.
No, you have not been ousted.
89, 90- Fetch Mr. Kand at once!
0
0
Asteiods Log
Day 12
I fear that I am being watched. Oh well. Soon it won’t matter. *chuckles manicaly* The solarstream has uped our speed. We may reach the moon in as early two days!
0
0
~
Dec. 11. Our doctor is now in stable condition, but she is still unconscious. Amburrel Kand is tending to her. I’m glad we provided a Loblolly Boy.
With the T-drive at full power, we are passing Mars currently. It is barren as ever; no pies reached it out here. Tomorrow I expect that we will be able to reach the asteroid belt.
I left the space pies in a huge vacuum jar on the Moon. They will be sent back to Museica for study.
~
0
0
I have sent three telegrams to the Museican Government warning them of Darth Yoda’s plan, and they have not responded. We must take matters into our own hands. Hard about, Mr. Ubergard. We’re stopping this maniac.
0
0
We will reach the Moon by tomorrow with the T-drive at full power and the sails furled. I hope we will get there in time to thwart Darth Yoda’s evil plan. Whatever it is.
0
0
More speed! I don’t care if we wreck! Museica is in danger! More speed!
0
0
Asteriod’s Log
Day 16
The Moon is in sight! 24 hours to landing! Make all haste!
0
0
Asteriod’s Log
Day 19
We passed a school of pie-fish today. I had thought that the pie-fish would be close realatives to the pieries, but it became obivous that they are not. They are predators to each other, big pie-fish preying on little pieries and vice-versa. The pieries proved much better in battle, however. Perhaps Canix and I can come to an aggreement…
0
0
prarilius canix-if the pie war was the revilotion this is the war of 18121 as the olay goverment officl who cares about museica I, the great justice of museica decalers war on darth yoda!he must be stoped!
0
0
Asteroid off port side! Set up the atmotube amplifier.
Darth Yoda, we may be able to come to an agreement. What is your holy cause, and why did you try to blow up the Zommer Vaycayshun?
0
0
My cause is my own. As for the sabotaging of your ship, my actions were rash. Maybe. I offer you 30 of my finest pieries, a powerful ally (or advesary) in terrestreal and exterresrial conflict. If you do not belive me we can duel.
In exchange, I what to be left alone on the moon. I will not attack anyone without cause, but I will violently defend againist anyone approaching unidentifed.
Those are my terms.
0
0
102- If you mean the entire moon, I cannot accept. If you only need a portion of it, I will agree to your terms.
0
0
*whimpers*
0
0
Only a small backend of the moon. 10 squares miles. In that case, deal.
0
0
105- Deal. I will ask the Uranian Prime Muser to ratify the deed.
0
0
I hereby call a conference to all notable figures in Musica, Space, and the PPP.
While I may be evil, I, as I am sure you are, am interseted in the pursuit of science and knowledge. I therefore propose the writing of an Encylopedia of Musica and the PPP: Past and present containing all information form Chuck Norris to now. My asteriod will land on the moon in less than twelve hours. I will hear your responses then.
0
0
SO WHAT IN MUSEICA IS YOUR ANSWER?……
0
0
are you distracting us from the answer? The tension is killing me!!!
0
0
Me?
0
0
107- Sounds fine to me. I can contribute information on all things from Pie Wars part Five onward.
0
0
DY: you cant have the whole moon! NOT FAIR!! we’ll give you a colony. thats it. oh okay. just 10 miles. that’l do. I agree.
0
0
The negotiations done, we will sally forth again into the deeps of space.
0
0
This thread has passed 100 posts, and it hasn’t even scrolled off the main page yet.
0
0
Camp’s Log
Day 1
With only four pieries left, and my worldly possesions being a small solar panel and some wire, life will be hard for awhile. Well the pieries are of hunting, I have begun digging a trench into the ground.
0
0
~
Dec. 13. We are now passing Mars again. Tomorrow we will probably reach the Asteroid Belt. Really. If no other emergencies come up.
~
0
0
~
I just had the idea of putting the pieries to work at the ether-oars. I wonder if it will make us go any faaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…………………………………………..
…ster. Well, I just found out. The ship is going really, really fast.
~
0
0
110- no, dark yoda.
0
0
o.k. in that case the war is stoped.
0
0
~
We have already reached the asteroid belt, thanks to the pieries’ efforts. Going through isn’t as hard as I expected. No meteors have punctured the CFF.
~
0
0
Look out for that big asteroid on right…there! It’s coming closer… phew. Safe for now.
I think Darth Yoda was trying to stop me from telling the world what I knew about him. the truth must be made known to the innocent citizens of the moon and Museca! Darth Yoda is a…
Eek! HUGE asteroid coming!
0
0
Hard to port, Mr. Ubergard! Now!
Now… you were saying, RG?
0
0
Now what shall the Zommer Vaycayshun do? Where shall we land?
0
0
123- We were planning on going to Planet Pie, but we have been thrown far off course for two reasons. The gravity of the passing asteroid slewed us around, causing a crack in the hull. The CFF is now leaking. This coincided with a powerful solar storm which burst the sails. We will have to land at the nearest habitable planet, as we have been flung out of our solar system.
0
0
We’re beginning to lose control, and the ship is starting to splinter. Mr. Elbunn, keep the CFF running for as long as you can. Ms. Lembar, get the suits out of their lockers in case the CFF fails. Ms. Violetfire, try to find a habitable planet near our position on your charts. Time is of the essence.
0
0
Hmm… I’m checking the charts, the nearest planet thats even remotely hospitable is Raspecan, about an hour to port at hyper-speed. But it’s inhabited by the extremely hostile Crusty Crougers. It is the captain’s descision to land or not. Should we? The next-nearest is about seven hours at hyper-speed. Will we last that long?
by the way, what’s the CFF?
0
0
Camp’s Log
Day 2
The trench has become a cave. I have found massive quantities of metals buried deep within the moon. The construction of a piery colony will begen immendiatly.
0
0
Guess what? I am NOT ANY POSITION AT THE MOMENT. SO I will appoint myself a position. An independent position.
I am the Captain of an opposing pirate ship. (Yes I know that there is a pirate ship already) I am Captain Capricious of the S.S. Umbrella. Arrr!!!!!!! The S.S. Umbrella was originally a little row-boat, but now, after years of adding on, it is finally finnished! Muahahahaha!!!!! I am open to crew members (especially ones whom have no position) put ye need an application of your past piracies! AArrrrr!!!!
0
0
We will only last an hour at most with the Carbonic Filter Field leaking. Head to Raspecan.
0
0
~
Dec. 15. We landed on Raspecan during the night, but it was too dark to get our bearings properly. As the sun came up this morning, however, I could see that we were on a large island composed of a nut-like substance, with a sea of sweet, viscous liquid around us. The ship was horribly damaged. Absolutely no tholiatomine remained, the Solar Sails had shredded and burned up in the atmosphere, and the CFF was just a useless pile of components. As Raspecan has a humid climate and hardly any dry land, the chances of finding fresh tholiatomine are virtually nil. We have no way of launching the Haus, as it has no T-drive and cannot get out of the atmosphere. To top it all off, our first mate has become a pierate.
The good news is that the island has a large reef around it, so no Crusty Crougers can get to it, even if they are advanced enough to build boats. The main variety of plant here seems to be a sort of crusty fungus, which is edible, nutritious and pleasant-tasting. The wreck of the Zommer Vaycayshun will make an excellent shelter, and we can send the Haus out on fishing expeditions with two or three crewmembers. I don’t think that we will be completing our voyage any time soon, though. Back in Museica, they will wonder what has become of us, and maybe in a hundred years they will explore Raspecan and find the evidence of our landing.
What am I doing? I have to keep my hopes up, and the hopes of the crew! We’ll find a way of making a distress signal, and maybe it will reach the colony on the Moon. But for now, let’s get to work preparing our shelter.
~
0
0
Camp’s Log
Day 3
I made some blinking poles to mark our territory. The pieries are placing them every half mile around our land.
0
0
Maybe if we can put together the last remnants of our exploding pies, combined with the highly explosive vermillion fungus that I just discovered, we can use them to launch a telegram broadcasting station into space. If we program the station ahead of time, we can send a distress signal into the range of the Interplanetary Telegram Service, and relay it to Museica.
0
0
Just a second…. i have just launched my portable sattellite, and it will give me accurate maps of Raspecan. Also, i will see if any other ships are near.
So we’ve built the shelter, and i got together a group to take a look around. *consults new maps* Hmm. It seems our island is one of several relatively small bodies of land in the area, like a chain of islands. There is one larger one, and i believe it is the home of the main colony of Crusty Crougers.
The rest of the planet is about the same: small, nutty islands surrounded by the Fillin Sea.
So, it seems that there are absolutely no tholiatomine mines around, according to my mineral-deposits chart. But right below us is a large deposit of alpha-bioxiflorinium, which when ignited creates enormous amounts of heat, which could possibly be used to launch us back into space. If only we could get to it… Do we have an engineer-type person on this ship?
0
0
We’ll turn the ship over so that the hull acts as a roof, and the cabins will become rooms. Any gaps will be covered with scraps of sails.
0
0
133- We do have Deemo Elbunn and Volmoluth Ubergard, who are both engineers. The tholiatomine that we spilled could have been picked up by Raspecan’s rings, and still orbit in frozen form above us. We could use the alpha-bioxiflourinium to launch the Haus, and then cruise on the solar wind collecting tholiatomine from the rings.
0
0
Hello? What about the alpha-bioxiflorinium? Can we combine it with the highly explosive vermillion fungus somehow to create a high-energy power source to relaunch?
heeheehee… that’s just fun to say! al-fa-bye-ox-ih-floor-in-eee-um.
0
0
I’m baack!!
The reason I screamed is because I was nearly thrown off the ship. Thankfully I ended up holding onto a rope, so I’m okay. Too bad Capricious joined a pirate crew. I still wanna be the lookout. Please?!
Just so’s you know, I just got a pigeon message. My little sister broke her foot. I might have to hitch a ride back to my home.
0
0
137- Sure!
0
0
Yay! Happiness! I’m a lookout!
0
0
The pieries have been mixing the alpha-bioxiflorinium with the vermillion fungus and putting the mixture in a pit. Once they have finished, the stern of the Haus will be placed in the pit, and the explosives will be detonated, launching it into space.
The party of tholiatomine gatherers:
Quod Erat Demonstratum, to keep an eye out for the peculiar orange-yellow shade of frozen tholiatomine
Volmoluth Ubergard, to steer the Haus
Violetfire, to guide the Haus back to our island
Justinia Lembar, to net the tholiatomine fragments
That’s all that the Haus can carry, as it is only a jollyboat. Good luck, crew!
0
0
What makes the Crusty Crougers hostile? Are they naturally warlike, or just suspicious of strangers? After our voyage is completed, I will come back here with a couple of astroethnologists* and study the Raspecian culture in hopes that we can colonize this planet too.
*People who study alien cultures. In case you were wondering.
0
0
Hmm-orange-yellow?
I’m on it.
0
0
Alright- LAUNCH!
0
0
The launch fizzled. The Haus only got 5 feet in the air before falling back into the pit. The detonation should have worked… maybe it needs some sort of catalyst…
Oh, no.
We are going to have to do the deed that every seafarer, be he pierate, privateer or merchant, dreads.
Burn the pie-rum.
0
0
AAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Not the rum!!!!! Anything but the rum!!!!!!!
Here, we’ll need that as provision. I’ll find something else! How about we dredge up some of the gooey red liquid of the Fillin Sea, and burn that? Or we get some more alpha-bioxiflorinium? just NOT THE RUM!!!
on the topic of Crusty Crougers: the reason they are so hostile is pie. Once, one got a taste of a forgotten banana creme a sailor left here. they have been yearning for pie ever since. They will force any traveler they find to be a slave and cook them pies for the rest of their life. a horrible fate, to be sure. Also, because of this, they are very suspicious of one another, always convinced that someone else has found pie and won’t share. Not that any of them ever would. They would kill rather than lose some of their precious pies. so… don’t let them get you!
0
0
Camp’s Log
Day 4
The plans are ready! The outer wall of a fortress big enough to hold ten thousand pieries will be ready by the new year!
0
0
145- Ah… that careless sailor… Museica is MADE of pies. Maybe if we promise them citizenship…
On a sadder note, I don’t like it any more than you do, but we must burn the rum.
0
0
This thread needs more action. I hate having to wait days for something to happen. QED, Captain Canix, Darthy Oda and i seem to be the only ones on. DY is talking about a completely different storyline than the rest of us, so that whittles the crew of the now-breached Zommer Vaycayshun down to three.
I had to go up thirty posts before i found someone who wasn’t one of us. Can we convince our dearest, FLAMABLAMABLOUS GAPA’s to move this thread up? Please?
0
0
I should speed up my storyline or get someone to join me. And I’ll second moving up the thread please oh Great and Powerful GAP-wait. Oh! That’s where you got GAPAs!
0
0
The GAPAs are unmerciful when it comes to Ships’ Logs, even though a GAPA is part of my crew. We had to get to 305 posts last time, but we managed it.
0
0
Now we’re halfway…
What about getting a new thread on Jan. 1?
btw A recent study showed that people whose names begen with the letter R are smarter and KINDER on average.
0
0
151- Really…
Did you hear that, Robert, Rosanne, and Recca?
0
0
Oops. I meant Rebecca.
0
0
(150) Think of it as character building.
OMG! I sounded just like my dad. Yikes! ‘Zounds! Aieee. . . .
*This post has been temporarily suspended while its author retreats into existential collapse. We apologize for the inconvenience.*
0
0
So, back to the story.
We have poured the remainder of our pie rum (NOOOOOOO!!!!!!) into the pit already containing the vermillion fungus and the alpha-bioxiflorinium. We are hoping it will act as a catalyst, to help the ingredients bond and lower the temperature of the reaction so that it launches the Haus into space rather than blowing us all up. We shall give it a few hours to ferment, then place the Haus carefully into the pit, ignite the fungus-alpha-bioxiflorinium-pie rum mixture, then (hopefully) be blasted into space where we can search for what’s left of our tholiatomine. The crewmembers not onboard the Haus will try and get the Zommer Vaycayshun back in working order. Captain Canix? You tell us when to blow.
0
0
Stand by. It will probably require a bit more time. In the meantime, we can flip the Zommer Vaycayshun over and start refitting it. We may have to use the CFF from the Haus and add a larger transmuter, as the original one is damaged beyond repair. To begin fixing the ship, let’s start sewing the solar sails back together.
Raspecan is an amazing planet… I hope we can someday make peace with the Crusty Crougers.
0
0
Whoa… Fast moderation.
0
0
OK… We’re ready to launch.
Step 1. Fuse.
Step 2. Match.
Step 3. Run.
0
0
Transmission to Captain Canix: we are in orbit. I repeat, we are in orbit. we are searching for the tholiatomine we lost when we crashed. none in sight. we may be a while. *checks maps* we are almost right above the Isle of the Crusty Crougers. I can take some sattelite photos, if you like. QED and Justinia are looking for the tholiatomine.
0
0
Transmission to Navigator Violetfire: Excellent. Keep up the good work. Please take some photos, we may need them when returning to Raspecan.
0
0
Transmission to Captain Canix: Roger that. Photos are taken. QED has spotted some tholiatomine, and Justinia is trying to grab it with the animatronic arm. We should be back in a few hours, if all goes well.
0
0
Good News: School Break sarts Wensday, pelnty more posts for me.
Bads News: Other activities have begun. This will consume 2 hours daily.
Let’s try to get to 300 by the new year, without nonsensical posts.
0
0
Transmission to Navigator Violetfire. Excellent work. The solar sails are fully repaired, and we have started work on sealing the T-drive chamber. Deemo Elbunn is building a high-power carbonic transmuter so that we can use the CFF of the Haus for the Zommer Vaycayshun. Keep taking photos. Raspecan is a very scenic planet, and, as it is all sea and island, a sailor's dream. Maybe I'll settle down here someday, if we can spacelift the Black-footed Ferret to Raspecan and we can make peace with the Crusty Crougers.
0
0
wait… you’re the captain of the Black-Footed Ferret? I thought that was Jadestone’s ship.
Transmission to Captain Canix: We've gathered quite a bit of the tholiatomine. Do you know how much was lost in the crash?
0
0
I am the captain of the Black-footed Ferret. She was my original ship, but she is not spaceworthy, so I *ahem* borrowed this ship from a bunch of scurvy pierates and fitted her up for interplanetary travel. Jadestone is quartermaster.
0
0
Transmission to Navigator Violetfire. We lost all of it, which amounted to approximately 20 fluid ounces. I know it doesn't seem like much, but bear in mind that it is not the fuel, but the focusing material for the laser which bends the fabric of space and allows us to go faster than light.
0
0
Transmission to Captain Canix: I believe we have collected about fourteen fluid ounces of that. it has been thawed and stored in a special thermos-type container for safekeeping. We will probably have to use some to be able to land safely back on Raspecan. We shall stay up until we get it all!
0
0
(how do you guys make your fonts like that?…)
Today I just set sail. Though I have no crew, I’m sure I will find something good out there for me.
0
0
nooooooooe! My poste has disappeared!
I havff concluded that Darth Yoda is a short green creature, looking suprisingly like Mr. Green. He wears a mask, sometimes, though.
0
0
168-See the stuff at the bottom? “Some HTML allowed:” its the one called “code” here’s how, but use the carrots on the period and comma spaces insted of parenthesies: (code) I am an evil robot (/code) said the evil robot.
0
0
In addition to completing the Fortress, another project, the UPO, or Unidentified Pieing Object. It is a circular disk with twelve holes for pies to fly out of. I am leaving my head piery, Jack, in charge and taking my 100 best out too Cgat’s ship to join le crew. Le fin.
0
0
wheee!!! I see a giant pieasteroid heading our way…
0
0
172- Uh oh. We will have to evacuate the island.
Transmission to Navigator Violetfire. We have seen a giant asteroid heading our way. Return immediately. The ship can run on a bare minimum of 15 ounces of tholiatomine. If you've got that much, we'll be okay.
0
0
(JS apoligizes for not being on in a while, and will be soon)
Transmission to Captain Canix: I shall return immediately. I believe we have collected at least nineteen ounces of tholiatomine. Volmoluth is coming as quickly as possible. Be prepared for a rough landing...
0
0
Crew, prepare a landing pad of crusty fungus. We may see the Haus coming in soon.
0
0
Aya Aye, Cap’n. The fungus is arranged!
0
0
I have no idea what is going on. I haven’t been here since last week. Where is the Enchilada Steamer? I thought we were going on an expedition to find treasure.
0
0
Very well. I will lead the expedition myself!
0
0
The Enchilada Steamer will now set out for Croutan Isle.
0
0
Hopfully
0
0
Am I alll alone?! I don’t really know how to sail a ship. I’m just a cook! Speaking of which, I’m hungry. Is anyone else hungry? I think I’ll make us some cheese garlic bread with sugar snap peas and spaghetti. Would anyone also like some kiwi chocolate cream pie?
0
0
Who is us? Am I all alone? Wait! I forgot the Great Hornbeam! I just saw him skulking around my kitchen! But that’s not much of a comfort! He’s crazy! Help me!
0
0
Transmission to Navigator Violetfire. Pie asteroid only an hour away. Land as quickly as possible. A landing pad is prepared.
0
0
Let’s try to get to 300 posts before the new year, and without nonsensical posts.
0
0
No sign off Capry. Oh well. Back to the moon.
0
0
The Haus has arrived back! Mr. Ubergard, start setting up the T-drive. Mr. Elbunn, attach the new transmuter to the CFF. Impact will come in about 5 minutes! Let’s get those solar sails up on the masts, crew!
0
0
Everyone inside the Zommer! Ready? All present and correct? Thank you, Mr. Ubergard. Begin countdown.
Liftoff in T-minus 10 seconds.
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
0
Liftoff!
0
0
~
Dec. 19. As Raspecan recedes into the distance, I can see through my maximiscope that the impact of the asteroid released billions of pie fungus spores. There will soon be more than enough pie for every Crouger on Raspecan.
~
Violetfire, set course for the Pieceful Pie Planet.
~
Since Raspecan has an irregular orbit, it has taken us to only 7.49 lightyears from the PPP. This is an optimal position, because in only an hour it will start to swing away from the PPP again. The asteroid was a blessing in disguise.
0
0
kiwimuncher: captain canix, darth yoda, ruffled grouse and i are pretty much the only ones on here. all of us except DY is on the Zommer Vaycayshun. you could possibly join our crew, seeing as yours is gone. Captain Canix? what do you think?
_______________________________________________________________
We are headed to the Pieceful Pie Planet! We should arrive in a rather long while, because i’m trying not to push this ship. it’s in a rather delicate condition at the moment. what should we do when we get there? or should we have some more adventures first?
0
0
189- Kiwimuncher is welcome to join our ship, except that we already have a cook. She could be the cook’s assistant, or another position.
also 189- Good. The Zommer is in rather delicate condition, so Mr. Elbunn will start making running repairs. No adventures first unless fate thrusts them upon us.
0
0
the pieceful pie planet thread is pretty pointless at the moment. they’re talking mostly about pie fights and parties. this one is more consistant. i think we should just keep having adventures forever. and ever and ever and ever…
0
0
191- We could just go there, inspect the territories, and then come back to Museica, sailing the seas on the Black-footed Ferret and the stars on the Zommer Vaycayshun.
0
0
(190) Yes, your faithful cook is here, though, um, she’s not exactly sure where “here” is at the moment.
Then again, that’s part of what makes it an adventure. Well said, Violetfire.
0
0
you missed all the Raspecan fun! we lost the tholiatomine, crashed into a strange planet inhabited by hostile creatures, and created a dangerous chemical reaction to blast us back into space! good times… good times… aaahh.
0
0
Oh, definiteley fun.
I see the PPP fast approaching. It looks so… peaceful. Maybe we can get our ship repaired there! Shall we send them a message warning them of our arrival?
As long as you are here, it doesen’t really matter what “here”
is. Just be glad that youre “here” and not “there”.
Alright, that makes no sense at all.
0
0
~
Dec. 20. The PPP is in sight. I will send a message to them before we land in the Tupisodaloric Groves.
0
0
I gave them the signal. Shall we land?
0
0
OK. Let’s go. Mr. Ubergard, set the T-drive to half power and take us in to the Cream Soda Sea.
0
0
We have landed. Let’s move this storyline to the PPP.
0
0
can we keep it here please, nothing’s happening on the PPP except for parties and pie=throwing. besides, we’re a space-ship, so we’ll leave again once we get repaired, right? PLEASE?
0
0
200- The whole POINT of this voyage was to inspect the colonies, so we will DO THAT.
0
0
fine. then can we come back and have some more adventures?
0
0
202- Sure, but we have to inspect our territories on Musicalifornia and the PPP2 first.
0
0
I agree! And I finally have time to post, instead of just readsing. To the PPP thread, then?
0
0
204- We are on the PPP thread, and will move on to PPP2 once TMFA has given his report. Or if he hasn’t when today is over, we’ll just go onward.
0
0
Actually, since TMFA hasn’t posted on the PPP thread in ages, we’ll just wait for his report. Back to Museica, then? But first I want to check on Raspecan.
0
0
As you wish, Captain! *salutes* Raspecan it is.
0
0
canix I can seen your requstit on ppp. i have been sick so i wasen on mush.sorry
0
0
heres my report.feather is poding too meening dounts due to the fact no one cares! I supplie vashkeres weat and hay and corn. the colonies of feather sipich and ppp2smoon and carrot are doing graet and all have an army.
0
0
209- Excellent! The colonies are all doing well, so we will head back to Raspecan. Its orbit is now very close to us, so it won’t take long.
0
0
Raspecan is in sight. I can make out its pearly white rings and burnt-umber surface from here.
0
0
Mr. Ubergard, throttle back to half power and turn on the light distortion mode in the CFF- We don’t want any Crougers to see us.
0
0
It looks like the Crougers were fighting earlier, but they stopped when they realized that there was enough pie for everyone.
0
0
Nobody is posting here anymore. Violetfire, would you get out your charts and tell me some more specifics about the geography of Raspecan?
0
0
Captain , I have spotted other creatures!
They look like cheese, except that the holes are shaped in a face.
Are they hostile???
0
0
215-well one just bit me.
0
0
hey pc have you sail in the estern sea or just the filling sea.
0
0
?
0
0
217, 218- Both of them on my circumnavigational voyage.
0
0
The cheesy things appear to be pets of the Crougers.
0
0
Hmm… Should we take one in for examination?
Oops, I sugest that no one make to many sudden movements near the Chese-things. I tried to grab one and, well…
I’m off to take a shower.
0
0
Well, I suppose that the treasure can wait. I’ll join your ship.I can be the baker/assitant cook/cabbage gun maker.
Oh! Those cheese things are SO CUTE! I shall call this one Cheesy and he will be mine! And he shall be my Cheesy!
Cheesy:”Blurpy Blurp Blurp Blurpy!”
Oh! He likes me!
Me: “Blurp?”
Cheesy:”Blurp Blurp Blurp Blurpy Blurp Blurp”
Oh! He says that his kind are being held by the Crougers to defend the Crougers and that his kind don’t like it. He wants to know if they could come onto our ship to live, work, and make friends. He says that his kind would be happy to repair our ship.
0
0
222- Interesting idea. That would work as long as the cheesies get along with the pieries.
0
0
Our crew.
Prarilius Canix- Captain=1
Fluffy- Soon to be first mate again, as Capricious has become a pierate=2
Second Mate- Nerdz_r00l=3
Jadestone- Quartermaster=4
Rebecca Lasley- Cook/gunner=5
Kiwimuncher-Cook’s asisstant=6
Ruffled Grouse- Doctor=7
Amburrel Kand- Loblolly Boy=8
Quod erat demonstratum- Lookout=9
Deemo Elbunn- Carpenter=10
Volmoluth Ubergard- Helmspenguin=11
Eekeeknurknur- Midshipmole=12
Justinia Lembar- Bosun=13
30 pieries=43
50 cheesies=93
93 people in the crew. We can carry a maximum of 100.
0
0
GAPAs, which thread holds the record for getting the most sequels?
0
0
The cheesies appear to get along quite well with the pieries, thankfully. If they hadn’t, well, that would not be good. However, the Crougers seem to be upset about their loss of the cheesies. They are rather angry, or it appears to be so anyway. That group looks to be angry anyway. *points*. The group that is storming towards the Zommer…
0
0
224 -wait you fogot the man for aeiou-94
0
0
Okay. What’s going on here? I understand there are feroucious biting things, but I is confused.
0
0
Sorry, Violetfire, I plumb forgot to include you in the list.
On the subject of Crougers, though…
Mr. Ubergard, get this ship off the ground. T-drive at full power, now. Ms. Lasley, fire a few mango honey pies at them so that they are tangled up.
0
0
227- I don’t think that you are a permanent member of my crew, TMFA. But, of course, you are on board, so that tallies up to 95, counting VF.
0
0
Well, the cheese things have done a pretty good job on repairing our ship. Not only that but the cheesy has helped me alot to come up with a new recipe for cheese dip! Did you know that the cheese things can spout cheese out of their mouths?
0
0
231- I think that’s why Jadestone took a shower.
0
0
230-can I be though?museica is boring and this is fun!
0
0
There aren’t really many jobs open, TMFA, but I’d be happy to take you on. If you can think of an unoccupied position…
And I also forgot the Great Hornbeam. He’s the potwasher/hullscraper/general-dirty-work-doer.
0
0
I’ve just recieved a new load of maps. They show every colony of Crougers and everything. Look here, it seems there’s a very strange mountain range over there- could we explore? They seem to be completely made out of some kind of nutlike substance. there’s some interesting wildlife there. some goat-things that smell of elderberries. and crow-like birds that spout poetry. i named them Crraws.
0
0
235- Raspecan sounds more fascinating every day. I think we should head back now, though. We can stop here on our next voyage.
0
0
GAPAs, can we get a new Ships’ Logs on the new year?
Or if you can’t do that, I’ll settle for a Museican Commonwealth thread.
0
0
~
Dec. 27. We are on our way back to Earth, but first we will stop at the Moon for two reasons. One, to pick up Fluffy and offer him his old job as first mate. Two, to deploy a small hovering probe into the Moon’s atmosphere to keep an eye on Darth Yoda. He is making very warlike preparations on the Moon, and has recently tried to join the crew of a pierate.
0
0
i would rather have a new Ships Log. i don’t really go on most of the other Museica threads anymore, because i was gone a long time and missed a lot of important stuff.
0
0
239- OK. New Ships’ Logs, p*ease, GAPAs?
And why don’t you like the W there?
0
0