RRR, v. 2007.2 (Science-fiction) – Part 3
Continued from https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=793 .
Date: May 1, 2007
Categories: Fiction, poetry, and fanfiction, Nonrandom Craziness
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Prarilius Canix
in May 1st, 2007 @ 19:59Kari just crashed the ship into the Parents headquarters, but it was vaporized by a magnabeam. The three are now in an escape pod over the surface of Callisto. Just a recap.
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Alice
in May 1st, 2007 @ 20:31OK.
We have a new thread. Good. Too bad i can’t think of anything to write. Meh.
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E2MB
in May 1st, 2007 @ 20:47Text from the last thread:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Just 18 more seconds before we can blast the Parents…” said Kari, trying to stare at the liquid-crystal clock and keep swerving at the same time.
The clock seemed to take forever in changing digits. 7….6….5….4….
“Dangit!” said Jaa. “The ships are getting too close to us! Next time they could get a good aim!”
“To !@#$%^& with clocks!” said Kari furiously. “I’m firing now!” She aimed at the grey splotch on Callisto, which was now only 100,000 miles away, and fired.
Predictably, she missed. In a city several miles away from the headquarters, a troop of people died. Luckily, Ian didn’t know that, and Neither did Kari or Jaa. All they knew was that it didn’t hit the headquarters.
Kari swore again. “I’m going to crash the ship into the Parent’s headquarters!” she said. “Get in the escape pod!”
Ian and Jaa climbed into the escape pod. It was exactly like the Victory , except it had none of the upgrades they had bought at the repair shop. Ian sighed. “Stuck in a steel ball for a ship again,” he muttered.
Kari carefully guided the ship until it was heading dead straight for the Parent’s headquarters. Then she jumped into the escape pod and ejected it.
As they descended toward the ground, they viewed the ship deading straight toward the Parent’s headquarters. It was pulverized by a magnabeam right as it hit the mass of buildings, but the three were safe from it’s effects.
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Alice
in May 1st, 2007 @ 21:01They were not, however, safe from the police, who had seen them try to destroy the Parents’ headquarters and were now under the impression that the three kids were dangerous murderers who were bent on bringing down the civilized world.
~~~~~~~~~~
No, of course it’s not overly dramatic. Why do you ask?
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E2MB
in May 1st, 2007 @ 21:14I have an idea. :light bulb:
~~~~~~~~~~~~
But the Parent’s headquarters had defenses of it’s own. Just as the ship rammed into the surface, guns with deadly magna-beams were poised, about to blast the shuttle to smithereens. But because the shuttle was vaporized right before the magna-beam guns fired, the guns accidentaly went through where the ship was supposed to be and obliterated the police’s ships.
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Alice
in May 1st, 2007 @ 22:39Somehow I feel we’re going to need to do a lot of editing. All these posts seem to going too fast.
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Kiki the Great
in May 2nd, 2007 @ 07:42I agree. Even though I’m not writing on this one, I’m gonna be a supervisor thingummmydoodad.
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E2MB
in May 2nd, 2007 @ 09:246 – We’ll worry about that when the time comes.
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Alice
in May 2nd, 2007 @ 10:047- Why aren’t you going to write?
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E2MB
in May 2nd, 2007 @ 10:549 – She was very active on this at the beginning, but then she was away for a very long period of time, so I’m guessing she just hasn’t caught up with the story so far.
We need to make a desicion. They are right outside the Parent’s headquarters. Do we want to end this RRR and have them defeat the parents, or keep going? The sequel is about 2/3 the length of the origional story so far.
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E2MB
in May 2nd, 2007 @ 11:24Continuing…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The escape pod hit the ground of Callisto hard, and made a very small crater. “This is it,” said Kari, “The Parent’s headquarters.”
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Alice
in May 2nd, 2007 @ 11:26Keep going, no contest. If we ended it that would be over way to quick, and we still don’t have enough for a novel. I also thought that we would have 3 parts, in which case we can’t defeat the Parents yet. But you always have to go with the flow when writing, and not think about what was previously speculated.
So, what’s the plan? How do we want them to defeat the Parents in the end? After all, they destroyed the gravitational engines, but now they’re on the run. They need to somehow make it so they’re free to do whatever they like, within moderation. (After all, they’re still outlaws, and will be no matter what.) We could somehow make all the Containers revolt.
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Alice
in May 2nd, 2007 @ 15:25Ian frowned. “What are you guys going to do? They’ve got hundreds of Containers and all sorts of weapons, and we’re three kids with a half-wrecked escape pod and a couple auto-spears.”
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E2MB
in May 2nd, 2007 @ 16:2812 – Good idea! I never thought of that!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“We don’t have to defeat all the Containers,” said Kari. “All we have to do is capture one and reprogram it. You can reprogram Containers, right, Jaa?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once they have a container doing their will, that container can do all kinds of mischef inside the parents headquarters.
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Alice
in May 2nd, 2007 @ 17:01“I could reprogram you if I liked,” said Jaa with a smile. “In fact, I may have before. That’s what’s generally done with renegades. Reprogram ’em, freeze ’em, and bend them to your will.” His smile turned grim. “Yes, I can reprogram them.”
Ian was still doubtful. “All very well, but how are we going to get the Container?”
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Prarilius Canix
in May 2nd, 2007 @ 17:04“I could do that,” Jaa said, “but I don’t like the idea of controlling a human being.”
“All right, let’s compromise,” Kari said exasperatedly. “Once we’ve defeated the Parents, we can deprogram all the Containers and let them live normal lives. Satisfied?”
“I guess… ”
“Good. Now to the more pressing question. How do we get inside that fortress?”
Jaa might have been about to come up with a brilliant idea, which they would immediately carry out. The Parents would have been defeated, and everyone would have lived happily ever after. Conversely, he might have been about to suggest a foolhardy plan that Kari and Ian would either scathingly reject or agree to, and die in the Parents’ headquarters in the latter case. Another possibility is that he was about to say he had absolutely no idea.
Nobody will ever know which of those it was, because a high-powered magnabeam struck the tiny escape pod at the second that Jaa opened his mouth.
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E2MB
in May 2nd, 2007 @ 17:35It was a high-quality magnabeam, though, so they were just knocked unconcious.
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Alice
in May 2nd, 2007 @ 19:1617- was that part of the story?
I think mine and Prarilius Canix’s posts were written at the same time, but we’re going to use PC’s, right?
Yes, obviously. Now, if I had any inspiration…
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Alice
in May 2nd, 2007 @ 22:47“Great,” moaned Kari when she came to. “This seems awfully familiar.”
The fact that she could make a joke (if indeed it was a joke), cheered her a little, but she was not cheered when she received no answer. She was also not cheered by the fact that her eyelids seemed to be stuck shut. “IAN!” she yelled as loud as she could. “JAA!”
Nothing.
She tried to wriggle into a more comfortable position-she was lying flat on her back- but found she couldn’t move. However, feeling around with her fingers, she decided she was lying on a surface of cold smooth metal. This was a frightening prospect. It was not the escape pod, that much was for sure, nor Callisto’s ground. Therefore it must be somewhere inside the Headquarters, and as she had never been in a place remotely like this, she was most likely about to experience something far more unpleasant than the usual routine of being frozen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes, Kari’s in trouble. And where are Ian and Jaa? :bigspookyeyes: I know there isn’t a smiley that does that, but I hope I manage to convey the expression.
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E2MB
in May 2nd, 2007 @ 22:5118 – Yes and yes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“GOT EM!” shouted a security guard in charge of firing magna-beams at any unknown ships coming toward the Parent’s headquarters. Immediately 16 security guards ran over to see who was in the escape pod.
As soon as they got there, they all gasped. One of them whistled. These were the very people they had most needed to catch! Quickly, the security guards tied their wrists and legs together and carried them into a secured room with 2 containers to guard it. Then the security guards went back to their posts.
When Kari opened her eyes, she looked around in disbelif. For her, no time had passed inbetween when the magna-beam had hit their ship and when she had come to. She cursed the Parents, and got up to look around.
Ian and Jaa were still sprawled across the floor, unconcious. They still hadn’t had their microchips truely removed from their bodies, so they took slightly longer to stir and wake up.
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Alice
in May 3rd, 2007 @ 10:27We did it again. Whose are we going to use?
Jaa had removed his microchip. Ian hadn’t, though.
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E2MB
in May 3rd, 2007 @ 17:5321 – Fark. Faug. Baug. Garf. Phoo. (The only un-cursey curse words I know.)
Let’s use yours. Mine is a little too cheesey.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kari suddenly heard footsteps. The sound of a husky breath loomed closer. “FOOLISH GIRL,” the breath muttered. “FOOLISH GIRL. SHE ESCAPES, RUNS AROUND THE SOLAR SYSTEM, THEN WALKS UP TO OUR DOORS TO BE CAPTURED.”
Kari felt that her clothes were being taken off. “What are you doing?” she yelled.
“BEFORE OUR USUAL LITTLE ROUTINE OF FREEZING YOU FOR A FEW ROTATIONS AROUND THE SOL, WE WILL BE USING YOU FOR A LITTLE TESTING.” The voice laughed. “OUR SHIPS ARE TOO SLOW, AND ARE GOING OBSOLETE. WE HAVE DEVELOPED A NEW METHOD OF TRANSPORTATION – TO UNCONSTRUCT YOUR ATOMS AND THEN SEND THEM IN LIGHT TO A RECIVER, WHICH WILL RECONSTRUCT YOUR ATOMS THERE. WE HAVEN’T HAD ANYONE VERY WORTHY OF THIS LITTLE STINT – UNTIL NOW.” Kari struggled to get free.
“STOP STRUGGLING,” the voice said. “YOU CAN’T ESCAPE.” A hand took her clothes and dropped them somewhere, Kari couldn’t tell where. “YOU WON’T BE NEEDING THOSE FOR THE TEST, YOU’LL BE NEEDING SOMETHING DIFFERENT.” She felt some sort of cloth being wrapped around her. It felt like plastic sheets and clinged to her skin like a magnet. Soon every inch of her body. “THIS PROTECTIVE LAYER OF INSULATION WILL KEEP YOUR ATOMS INSIDE UNTIL THEY ARE FULLY DISIEGRATED. NOW, SHALL WE TEST?” the voice laughed again.
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Alice
in May 3rd, 2007 @ 18:1622- Wow. She is in trouble. Because I have no idea how to deal with something like that, I’m going to switch to someone else for now, which’ll also build up suspense.
~~~~~~~~
Ian had decided even before he fully regained consciousness: this was not a good place to be. He wasn’t even sure where he was, but he knew that much. He wanted to get out. Away. Not-there. He opened his eyes and was surprised to find that that his surroundings were fairly innocuous.
~~~~~~~
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E2MB
in May 3rd, 2007 @ 18:31Kari suddenly could move. But she didn’t get to for long, as she slid down the steep incline on the smooth steel surface into some sort of padded sphere. “WE WILL BE CONDUCTING THE TEST WITHIN A FEW MINUTES,” the voice said as it walked away. “WE MUST GET THE RECIVING LOCATION READY FOR….” Kari couldn’t hear the rest through the sphere.
Instead of minutes, it seemed like seconds before a long tube appeared out of the wall. ”insert mouth on tube” an artificial voice droned out. Kari decided that she had better do what they wanted, so she inserted her mouth around the tube. Immediately she became unconcious as her body disingegrated and got sucked up, the layer of smooth cloth keeping holding her atoms until they dissapeared into the tube.
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E2MB
in May 3rd, 2007 @ 18:37Hmm… let’s move 23 to after 24.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He found himself lying on a soft bed in an enclosed room, bare of any furniture except the bed he was lying on and a bed on the opposite side of the room, which was empty. Did we get captured? he wondered, but right away he realized that was what had happened. He suddenly remembered all the things Kari had told him about what happened when you were captured by the Parents, and he began to get extremely worried again.
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Prarilius Canix
in May 3rd, 2007 @ 18:54~~~~
“What’s going on?” Jaa murmured groggily. His vision was a mess of blurry color. Then a face swam into focus. It was grinning.
“Kerj,” Jaa croaked.
"THE SAME. I'M GIVING YOU ONE LAST CHANCE. TELL ME THE ANTIGRAVITY FORMULAE, OR IT'S RACK FIFTY FOR YOU. AND DON'T PULL ANY LITTLE STUNTS LIKE YOU DID LAST TIME. A NANOBOT SWARM WILL BE ON YOU BEFORE YOU CAN BLINK. IT'LL WRAP YOU IN A COCOON OF STEEL AND TRANSPORT YOU TO RACK FIFTY IN AN UNPLEASANT MANNER. WHAT WILL IT BE?"
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Alice
in May 3rd, 2007 @ 19:26Why exactly does he want an antigravity formula? I thought they wanted him to rebuild the gravitational engines.
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E2MB
in May 3rd, 2007 @ 19:39Jaa did not want, above all, to go to rack 50. The only option left is to agree to redesign the gravitational engines. he realized. Kerj wouldn’t put up with anything after he had already escaped the Parents twice. “Okay,” he finally said, “I’ll write out the antigravity for you.” I can always escape later.
”EXCELLENT,” said Kerj, remembering the harsh words directed toward him when Jaa had escaped from his ship.
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Prarilius Canix
in May 3rd, 2007 @ 21:3027- I suppose it should be artificial gravity.
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Alice
in May 3rd, 2007 @ 21:36God. Accursed writer’s block.
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E2MB
in May 3rd, 2007 @ 21:56That reminds me. If we publish this book, we have to get rid of any phrases like “oh god no” or “oh my god” because some people are very offended by that. (I’m not saying I am.)
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Alice
in May 3rd, 2007 @ 22:3231- I know. I personally think it’s rather odd, but hey, people have their opinions. I went through a period of saying “god”, when I was nine or ten, then switched to “gosh” for three or four years (when I said anything remotely like that), but recently I’ve relapsed. Other than that, I don’t swear. Unless you count “dash it all” and “darn”, that is.
Off topic, sorry.
I’ve read worse in books, but I agree. Anyways, it’s probably obsolete by now. We should come up with lots of interesting exclamations, since this is set in the future.
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Prarilius Canix
in May 4th, 2007 @ 16:49The only exclamations I could find are “What the tikko,” said by Antavo when Kari and Ian met him, and “What in Solana’s name… ”
Solana is the entire solar system as a whole. It wouldn’t do to say “What on Earth,” as there is very little of anything on Earth now.
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Alice
in May 4th, 2007 @ 18:1333- Yeah, for a while I considered writing “what in the name of Terra,” but I dismissed it.
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E2MB
in May 4th, 2007 @ 19:58We need to get things moving around here again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Back in his own room, Ian got up out of the bed. There was a titanium-steel door on one side of the room, and all the walls, ceilings, and floors were made out of reinforced concrete. Ian walked over to the door, and knocked on it. “What is it?” a the voice of a young container said dryly.
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Alice
in May 4th, 2007 @ 20:05Ian was suddenly very frightened. “Uh- nothing,” he said. It was true. There was nothing to say. He got back into the bed. A few minutes later he got out again. Even talking to a Container would be better entertainment than sitting there waiting to die. Maybe he could even get important information out of him.
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E2MB
in May 4th, 2007 @ 20:20Oh! What I had in mind was one of those green-eyed whitish blond-haired girls.
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Alice
in May 4th, 2007 @ 20:42I’m not quite sure what you’re talking about, but we could change it to “her” if you like. And they’re all green-eyed whitish-blond-haired. They’re Containers, after all.
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E2MB
in May 4th, 2007 @ 20:56I see. Never mind.
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Alice
in May 4th, 2007 @ 21:07I don’t see. Explain?
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E2MB
in May 4th, 2007 @ 21:17I thought all Containers were white-haired green-eyed thirteen-year-old girls like Kari from the scene in part 1 where they hear the plans for project NeoTerra. But now I see that they weren’t all girls. So never mind.
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Alice
in May 4th, 2007 @ 22:1441- No, Jaa’s a Container, and Kerj, and LAQ.
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Prarilius Canix
in May 5th, 2007 @ 11:50KeRJ is the best villain I’ve seen for a long time.
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E2MB
in May 5th, 2007 @ 12:43back to the story
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“What’s your name?” Ian asked the Container outside the door.
“HAV,” was the reply.
“What are you doing here?”
“MAKING SURE YOU DON’T GET OUT.”
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Prarilius Canix
in May 5th, 2007 @ 13:5844- Wait. If the container is young, then he can’t be one of the H-series. Jaa is the most senior we’ve seen so far. And if the Container is part of the H-series who was kept young for other purposes, like Jaa, he wouldn’t be doing such a mundane job as guarding a prisoner. Sorry if I’m being picky, but it just doesn’t seem right.
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Alice
in May 5th, 2007 @ 14:0945- You’re right. We do have to think about that kind of thing. Kari was young because she’s a renegade and got frozen a lot, Kerj is young-ish because he was frozen a lot, but not as much as Kari.
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Alice
in May 6th, 2007 @ 16:29I’m going to change it to SAJ.
~~~~~~~~~
“What are they going to do with me?” asked Ian, more than half to himself.
"I HAVE NOT BEEN GIVEN THE HONOR OF KNOWING THAT,"replied SAJ.
Ian was silent for a while, then he asked, “What did they do with my friends?”
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E2MB
in May 6th, 2007 @ 21:53I have some serious catching up to do with my job of being the keeper. *opens word document* *starts adding more story in*
I’ll write more later
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E2MB
in May 6th, 2007 @ 22:03Updated word count: 9,178
Approx 2/3 the length of the origional story.
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E2MB
in May 7th, 2007 @ 13:37I’ve been busy. Sorry
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“WHO ARE YOUR FRIENDS?”
“Kari and Jaa,” said Ian.
“I REMEMBER JAA,” SAJ said. “HE RAN AWAY NOT TOO LONG AGO. THEY TOLD ME HE’S BEEN RECAPTURED. HE’LL PROBABLY GO BACK TO HIS WORK AS A SCIENTIST…” he paused. “BUT KARI…KARI HAS RAN AWAY AND BEEN CAUGHT SO MANY TIMES THEY WILL PROBABLY JUST ROUTINELY FREEZE HER FOR A FEW ROTATIONS. THOUGHH THEY MAY DO SOME TESTING ON HER IF THEY HAVE ANYTHING THEY NEED TO TEST.”
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Alice
in May 7th, 2007 @ 14:43You should make that, “KRI and JAA.” SAJ wouldn’t understand Kari and Jaa, unless he was also a renegade, which I doubt. But I’m sure KRI and JAA are big news. Especially Kari.
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E2MB
in May 7th, 2007 @ 16:49okay.
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Alice
in May 7th, 2007 @ 19:07Kari’s body felt strangely detached from everything, which was not surprising, considering that her atoms were disintegrated and the only thing holding them together was-to be frank-a plastic bag. This feeling (which she didn’t feel at all, due to her unconscious state) lasted less than a fifth of a second, and then she woke up.
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E2MB
in May 8th, 2007 @ 14:33Her atoms had been reconstructed perfectly. Kari felt much stronger – much stronger than before she had been supposedly beamed to who knows where. She tried to get up, and found she could, for nothing was holding her down at all.
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E2MB
in May 8th, 2007 @ 14:46I re-did post 50.
“WHO ARE YOUR FRIENDS?”
“Kari and Jaa,” said Ian.
“I REMEMBER JAA,” SAJ said. “HE RAN AWAY NOT TOO LONG AGO. I REMEMBER HEARING HE IS NOW BACK. HE’LL PROBABLY GO BACK TO HIS WORK AS A SCIENTIST…” he paused. “BUT KARI…I DON’T REMEMBER SOMEONE WITH THAT NAME…DID YOU MEAN KRI? HER RECENT CAPTURE HAS MADE BIG NEWS AROUND HERE. KRI HAS RAN AWAY AND BEEN CAUGHT SO MANY TIMES THEY WILL PROBABLY JUST ROUTINELY FREEZE HER FOR A FEW ROTATIONS, THEN PUT HER IN A HIGH-SECURITY PRISON CELL. THOUGH THEY MAY DO SOME TESTING ON HER IF THEY HAVE ANYTHING THEY NEED TO TEST.”
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Alice
in May 8th, 2007 @ 15:44Ergh. Sorry to be nit-picky, but SAJ wouldn’t know who they were if Ian didn’t say their ID codes.
Sorry, sorry.
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E2MB
in May 8th, 2007 @ 17:29ID codes? Like 0847919 (that’s Kari’s)?
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Prarilius Canix
in May 8th, 2007 @ 17:37I think she meant the three-letter names that Containers are issued. Sorry, can’t write now. I had a lot of homework recently, so I gotta catch up big-time.
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Lecea
in May 8th, 2007 @ 18:0658- Yeah, that’s what I meant.
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E2MB
in May 8th, 2007 @ 19:23That’s what I emphasized when I rewrote it.
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Alice
in May 8th, 2007 @ 19:44Oh, I see. Okay, sorry.
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E2MB
in May 8th, 2007 @ 21:10“4 squared times 10 to the power of two equals 1,600,” Jaa muttered, frantically scribbling the amount of electromgnets needed per 1,000,000 cubic feet. Kerj had demanded the plans for the anti-gravity machines in 80 hours, which was sooner than when Jaa would have them done at his current rate. The Parent’s headquarters were now on the dark side of Callisto, and machines were starting to get shut down.
Kerj walked in. “YOU ARE WORKING TOO SLOW, YOU DESPICABLE REGENADE,” he shouted as he examined the chains that held Jaa within 8 feet of the working desk. Two containers walked in. “MEET YOUR ‘ROOMMATES’, JAA,” Kerj said as he introduced VAK and VEN. “YOU WILL HAVE THEIR COMPANY THROUGH OUT THE NIGHT,” he laughed as he chained VAK and VEN to Jaa to ensure no chance of escape. Kerj wasn’t taking any chances, especially during the night when it was easier to sneak out of the main building.
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Lord Ragevuire the Shadow Mage
in May 9th, 2007 @ 19:04I’ve been gone for ages…
32-How old are you? Older than me, ’cause I’m like the youngest blogger here-I’ve only been 11 for a bit over a week. Call me Renegade ZDA.
_________________
__________________
Oh, *@&$^!! Curse writers block!!
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Alice
in May 9th, 2007 @ 19:1463- I’m 13 and 3/4.
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Alice
in May 9th, 2007 @ 19:26Kari also found that she could open her eyes. This was definitely a bonus, she thought – but that was before she saw where she was. What a cruel, cruel joke the Parents had played! They needed something tested, so who better to test it on than the most rebellious rebel in reach? And as if that weren’t enough, they had decided that they would put her in the worst place imaginable.
Terra.
~~~~~~~~~
Either they’ve implanted nanobots in her or else the plastic bag is a radiation suit. You pick.
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E2MB
in May 9th, 2007 @ 23:07Nanobots. It fits with the perfect reconstruction of her body and her gained strength.
63, 64 – Hmm…. I’m 12 and 2/3.
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E2MB
in May 9th, 2007 @ 23:18Now, onto the story. (Awesome, Alice. Planting Kari on Terra can now allow some good creativity. To tell the truth, having them all stuck imprisoned inside the Parent’s headquarters didn’t leave much room to be creative.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kari didn’t feel the effects of strong radiation, which suprised her. “Those cursed Parents probably put some kind of temporary protection on me that’ll make me suffer longer on this godforsaken peice of dirt.”
She looked around. The sky was a dark gray, with bits of green swirling around. The temperature was at least 140 degrees. Further examination of the horizon gave way to a small domed building of some sort in the distance. The terrain was a rough sand, with a few rocks scattered across the desert. Kari realized she was in Antarctica.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Behind-the-scenes info: the domed building is the old reaserch center that was built at the south pole in the late 20th century. All the ice has melted due to extreme global warming, and since not much ever lived on Antarctica, there’s no dirt as there was never sufficient amounts of organic material there to form any.
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Alice
in May 10th, 2007 @ 11:14Cool! Kari has virtual superpowers! But if the Parents put nanobots in her, then they must not mean to let her remain a renegade much longer. Maybe they mean to brainwash her when she gets back? Maybe they already have brainwashed her, and it didn’t work? Or it’s just taking a while to work? I have no shortage of ideas, but they’re all long-term, and I can’t think of anything to happen now.
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E2MB
in May 10th, 2007 @ 15:24Nanobots only work for so long. Eventually they run out, if there’s not enough. (Putting three in every cell means that every cell can be repaired several times.) The parents probably put one nanobot in every other cell, so Kari will lose protection against the radiation slowly, gradually losing boy cells, and slowly dying a painful death.
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Alice
in May 10th, 2007 @ 16:0069- Oh I get it. Poor Kari! Someone had better rescue her.
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E2MB
in May 10th, 2007 @ 18:18Given the circumstances, she has at least half an hour. Maybe she can find an abandoned ship or something.
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Lord Ragevuire the Shadow Mage
in May 10th, 2007 @ 18:1965-Dangit! I was going to put her in Rack 50!
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E2MB
in May 10th, 2007 @ 18:25It’s not necessary to include scenes of torture in our novels.
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Lord Ragevuire the Shadow Mage
in May 10th, 2007 @ 18:3170-I’ll try…
_________________
She stood undecided for a second and then broke for the dome. She didn’t know why she just did.
________________
So much for saving her. I hope that helps. BTW, I have an idea for the Container ID codes work. Take LAQ. First letter = series. Letter two = type, or ‘version’, eg LAQ is in the L series, and is in the first L series version group. Last letter. The ‘model number’. Jaa is the first J series container because of the classic A=1, B=2, ie his number is 10-1-1. Make sense?
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75
Prarilius Canix
in May 10th, 2007 @ 18:32Kari recognized the dome from her implanted memories. It was the research station where a monumentally important event had taken place, namely, the invention of the gravity-pulse drive. This amazing engine created tiny folds in the space-time continuum, allowing any ship on which it was installed to skip across space at unbelievable speed. She realized that she was standing near the spot where the backbone of the solar system’s economy had been created. The research station had also been famous for several other discoveries, such as carboglass synthesis and the advances in genetic manipulation that allowed Betwers to be created.
None of this, Kari reflected sourly, was going to help her to get out.
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76
Lord Ragevuire the Shadow Mage
in May 10th, 2007 @ 18:33Hey, YOU made Rack 50 up!
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Alice
in May 10th, 2007 @ 18:5976- We still don’t need to actually TALK about it. It’s just there. And yes, I’d rather not write about torture.
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E2MB
in May 10th, 2007 @ 19:1674, 75 – I assume we’re going to use 75.
76 – As long as it’s never described, rack 50 remains in the reader’s imaginations.
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E2MB
in May 10th, 2007 @ 19:17Actually, we could put 74 after 75. That would work.
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Alice
in May 10th, 2007 @ 19:34Jaa was exhausted. He didn’t see how he could re-design the engines in a single night, when he was practically falling asleep. He remembered when he was little, there had been a very rare commodity known as “coffee”. He had tried a sip once. It had been dreadfully bitter, and his parents had not let him have any more even if he wanted to. They said it would keep him awake. Now he didn’t care how foul it had tasted, he wanted some. He had to stay awake! But there was no longer such a thing as coffee, much less for renegades and prisoners.
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E2MB
in May 10th, 2007 @ 20:11Jaa noticed that his guards were even more exhausted than he was, mainly from discovering they were already asleep 15 minutes after Kerj had left the room.
Jaa looked at the electrotablet on which he was designing the engines on, and then threw down the mettalic pen in disgust. “I’m leaving,” he thought, getting up and starting to walk until it flashed on him that he was still chained to 2 snoring containers. Jaa had the strength to drag them with him through the maze of passageways to freedom outside the Parent’s headquarters, but VAK and VEN’s microchips were being tracked by a central computer. Jaa wouldn’t get much farther than the room he was in unless he removed their microchips. “It’s a good thing I never showed Kerj when I was still a slave of the Parents that I figured out how to do this,” he muttered, as he got down and lifted VAK’s arm.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He has to escape sometime. We can’t just leave him there for the rest of the book.
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82
Renegade ZDA/Lord Ragevuire the Shadow Mage
in May 10th, 2007 @ 20:20What about Ian?!
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83
E2MB
in May 10th, 2007 @ 20:3282 – Cool new name.
Oh yea, Ian….we’ll get to him sometime.
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84
Alice
in May 10th, 2007 @ 20:3882- So far he’s fairly safe. So far. :bigspookyeyes: I wasn’t inspired, and I was inspired to write about Jaa. *shrug*
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E2MB
in May 10th, 2007 @ 21:2484 – Is this what you’re looking for?
It’s ” 8 O ” without the spaces
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E2MB
in May 10th, 2007 @ 22:34Teensy announcment: from May 12 to May 19 I will be on vacation and will not have access to a computer and not be able to write on the sci-fi rrr for
NINE
WHOLE
DAYS. I’ll write as much as I can tomorrow, to make up for the days I will miss.
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Alice
in May 10th, 2007 @ 22:5885- No, bigspookyeyes is my own trademark nonexistant smily. It’s meant to portray widened eyes and a mysterious expression.
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88
Alice
in May 10th, 2007 @ 23:0981- That’s what you said last time you helped him escape! *frowns* But really, I don’t mind.
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E2MB
in May 11th, 2007 @ 12:04Oh, I hope I amn’t ruining all your captures by making them all escape. :guilty grin:
87 – Hmmm, yea. :guilty grin: is mine, though sometimes I use
in it’s place.
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90
Chocolate Marzipan/Alice
in May 11th, 2007 @ 14:13I said once that I didn’t like setting traps for the good guys, but I think that, actually, I must love it, because even though it’s usually someone else who captures them, I really like putting them in sticky situations. I like to hand them a dilemma, and then before they’re even fully out of it, give them another.
I read in a book about writing that it’s good to make the character suffer. It makes your readers care about them.
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Renegade ZDA
in May 11th, 2007 @ 18:23Hmmm…
If I can get Ian to escape…
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E2MB
in May 11th, 2007 @ 22:03aaaahg. Total writers block.
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93
Renegade ZDA
in May 12th, 2007 @ 12:4592-Yeah…
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Alice
in May 12th, 2007 @ 14:58But I don’t have writer’s block anymore. I just spent an hour thinking about this RRR.
~~~~~~~~~
Ian had a feeling that SAJ knew more than he was telling. He didn’t say so, though, for fear of what might happen if he did. The two sat in silence on opposite sides of the door. Ian was sure that if Kari or Jaa were there they would already have escaped, but even as he was thinking this depressing thought there was a clatter of boots outside the door.
"SAJ,"said a voice.
"YES, GENERAL HAV?"
"HAVE YOU BEEN FRATERNIZING WITH THE PRISONER AGAIN?"
"NO, SIR!"cried SAJ in alarm, but the General didn’t seem to believe him, for he said,"SAH, I WOULD LIKE YOU TO TAKE SAJ'S PLACE FOR NOW."
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Alice
in May 12th, 2007 @ 17:27Oops! I forgot to close the code after “No sir!”
[Hope I fixed it properly. -Rebecca]
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Prarilius Canix
in May 12th, 2007 @ 19:27Another Container- presumably SAH- appeared from the shadows and took up position near the door. SAJ walked off, seething.
Ian thought and thought, but he could come up with no solution to his situation. Eventually, he curled up on the hard bunk and fell into an uneasy sleep.
He was awakened by a strangled grunt, and a thud, as though a body had slammed forcefully against his cell door. As he got out of the pathetic excuse for a bed, the door hissed open, and SAH fell inward. Ian couldn’t tell how badly he was hurt, but he was unconscious or worse. SAJ was standing over him, a look of triumph in his eyes.
"LISTEN, IMPURE,"SAJ hissed."I HAVE NO SYMPATHY FOR YOU, BUT I THINK YOU ARE A WORTHLESS HOSTAGE, AND GENERAL HAV WILL BE CHASTISED FOR HIS BAD CHOICE OF SENTRIES."He looked down at SAH and grinned. Ian shuddered."IT WILL NOT SIT WELL WITH THE PARENTS IF A PRISONER DISAPPEARS ON HAV'S WATCH. WELL, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? GO."
Ian hurried down the corridor, reflecting on the horrible pettiness of the Container and his own unexpected good fortune.
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Alice
in May 12th, 2007 @ 19:46He tried to shake off the horrible incident. “Now,” he said quietly to himself “where are Kari and Jaa?”
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Renegade ZDA
in May 13th, 2007 @ 16:51Okay…Thanks PC!
E2MB-When you say ‘yea’ Do yu mean ‘yea’ like Yuh-Ee, or ‘yea’ said like Yuh-eh ah’?
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Alice
in May 13th, 2007 @ 17:0898- E2MB isn’t here right now. Remember, he couldn’t write for NINE WHOLE DAYS, in his words.
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Renegade ZDA
in May 13th, 2007 @ 19:41Ian ran through the winding passageways, hopelessly lost.
He knew that his life was in danger and that one wrong move would kill him. By pure chance he wound up in the System Control Room. There was only one Container ona duty, he was unnarmed, no one expected an invasion in the what was usually the hub of the security operations.
Ian’s first reaction at the Container’s appearance was shock. Solana, he’s old! Ian thought, His hair is accually white! He began to creep up behind the old man, drawing SAH’s autospear as he did so. At this the Container (Who’s ID code was, by a freak coincidence was IAN) turned. “Freeze.” said Ian
—
Just as Jaa was about to remove the wires that turned off the tracker on VEN’s chip when its light turned red.
Uh oh.
Jaa closed his eyes and opened them again in astonishment. That wasn’t the regulation alert message…"Hop. Pop. We like to hop..."
—
Ian had grabed the first elebook he saw and shoved it under IAN’s nose. “Thank you for deactivating the security system, now read!” Ian snarled.
He laughed as he realized tha the shelf had been marked ‘ancient Terran childrens’ literature’.
___________________
Completly random inspiration.
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Alice
in May 13th, 2007 @ 19:48100- Oh, that’s funny. . .
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102
Prarilius Canix
in May 13th, 2007 @ 20:31"...we like to hop on top of pop..."
The message continued. Jaa was seriously confused by now.
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Alice
in May 13th, 2007 @ 20:48He seemed to remember as a little child, listening to his dad read those very words to him. Something about a doctor . . . But that wasn’t what concerned him at the moment. Why would this be coming over the intercom?
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Lord Ragevuire the Shadow Mage, Arch Deatseeker and Conquerer of the Northern Otherworlde
in May 15th, 2007 @ 19:24103- to give Jaa a distraction. (I know you didn’t really ask…)
Someone save Kari!!
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Alice
in May 15th, 2007 @ 19:28I can’t! I have complete writer’s block on that section.
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Lord Ragevuire the Shadow Mage, Arch Deathseeker, and leader of the Kraliocc
in May 17th, 2007 @ 19:45No one posting? Am I ALONE???!!!
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Alice
in May 17th, 2007 @ 19:56No, you’re not alone. But I’m waiting for E2MB to come back and write something exciting, because I have no enthusiasm right now.
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Lord Ragevuire the Shadow Mage, Arch Deathseeker, and leader of the Kraliocc
in May 18th, 2007 @ 18:15GOOD!
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E2MB
in May 20th, 2007 @ 16:13AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
This is nearly abandoned!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I just read the hop on pop thing, and now I’m confused.
I have a quesetion. In post 100, it reads, “Ian had grabed the first elebook he saw and shoved it under IAN’s nose.” Who is “IAN”?
My mind is cranking right now for some good story.
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Alice
in May 20th, 2007 @ 16:27Calm down. It’s not abandoned. I was waiting for you to come back and rescue Kari, because I have writer’s block.
IAN is the Container on guard duty in the System Control Room. That particular post was very clever that way. (Good job, Lord Ragevuire!)
My question is more like, “How on earth did our Ian manage to best that IAN?”
Well, I guess there’s more to Ian than meets the eye, as we’ve already discovered on at least one occasion. (Escaping from Kerj.) But not that much more.
Drat, I can hardly remember what he’s like, I’ve been away so long. I keep thinking of Ren or Andrew. (A character in one of my books.)
And one more thing: Welcome back, E2MB!
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Lord Ragevuire the Shadow Mage, Arch Deathseeker, and leader of the Kraliocc
in May 20th, 2007 @ 19:25110-you keep saying you’re going to make Ian save the day, and then you ruin it…
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Prarilius Canix
in May 20th, 2007 @ 19:29“Right,” Ian said, his confidence boosted. “Where are Renegades KRI and JAA?”
"JAA MAY BE FOUND IN MULTIPURPOSE ROOM 323."
“Right. Give me the video footage from that room.”
IAN swerved around and tapped a few buttons. An image of an empty room on the wraparound monitor.
"HE'S GONE!"
Ian cheered up. Jaa must have managed to escape. “So, what about KRI?”
"SHE WAS USED FOR TESTING A TELEPORTATION DEVICE. IT WORKED AT 100% CAPACITY."
“Where’d it send her?”
"TERRA."
***
Kari was already feeling a cold burn beginning on her skin. The temporary nanobots that had been installed in her cells wouldn’t last much longer. She dashed down the corridors of the deserted facility, hoping to find what she needed.
And, by sheer luck, she did. RADIATION STUDIES was printed on a skewed sign above a hall in peeling paint. Kari made a sharp right, racing against time. There would have to be radiation suits here somewhere. She just hoped they would be intact. If not, she would die a slow, agonizing death.
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Alice
in May 20th, 2007 @ 19:34Well, Ian isn’t a hero, even though I want him to be. It isn’t within my power to turn him into one, and I kinda like him as he is. He’s nice, if not brave. And I only said that once.
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E2MB
in May 20th, 2007 @ 20:22“What!?!?” Ian almost screamed.
"IT HAS BEEN DETERMINED THE TELEPORTATION DEVICE WORKS PERFECTLY, SO KARI SHOULD BE SAFE EXCEPT FOR THE RADIATION."IAN informed Ian.
Ian suddenly remembered he needed to get out of the Parent’s Headquarters. He had a first-class chance! “Where’s the nearest exit?” he asked.
"OVER THERE UNDER THE RED LETTER 'E',"IAN droned like a machine, and Ian rushed over to what seemed to be where the door was. As he pushed against that spot in the wall, a LED screen popped up.WHAT IS THE REASON FOR YOUR EXIT?it inquired.
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E2MB
in May 20th, 2007 @ 20:27“Fire!” Ian spoke the first thing that came to his mind. Instantly infared heat sensors flashed all over the Parent’s headquarters, looking for signs of a fire. When they found none, the LED screen dissapeared immediately.
Ian kicked the door. The LED screen popped up again and repeated the question. “Hydrogen bomb!” said Ian, louder than the first time because he was frustrated. He was within a hair of geting out and the door wouldn’t open! Instantly radiation detectors scanned a diameter of 1 AU around the Parent’s headquarters, found nothing threatening, and the LED screen disappeared for a second time. Ian was getting steamed.
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Alice
in May 20th, 2007 @ 20:32Nonono, E2MB! “KRI should be safe except for the radiation.”
~~~~~~~~
“Um,” said Ian, trying to come up with something plausible. “I have to go . . . relieve a watch, or something?” The “or something” was reflexive, and he automatically cursed himself for saying it. However, the screen didn’t seem to be too smart, as it buzzed for a moment and opened the door.
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Alice
in May 20th, 2007 @ 20:33Oh, yay! Mine still works with E2MB’s! Quick, quick, moderate it before he posts something else!
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E2MB
in May 20th, 2007 @ 20:49Uh……..can we put post 116 before 115 and change the last sentence to “However, the screen seemed to be smart, as it buzzed for a moment and didn’t open the door.” ?
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119
E2MB
in May 20th, 2007 @ 20:50Oh wait, now I see how it works! Never mind post 118.
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120
E2MB
in May 20th, 2007 @ 22:56Ian looked out to see that he was thirty feet from the ground. He decided not to worry about it and he jumped.
IAN the old container had not switched off the intercom. Their entire convesation had been broadcast all over the building. Just after Ian jumped, several security guards rushed into the room. “WHAT THE !@#$%& IS WRONG WITH YOU?” barked one of them. IAN looked up. “YOU ARE UNDER ARREST,” he said coldly.
“IAN HAS MALFUNCTIONED,” the guard announced. “TAKE HIM TO THE REPROGRAMMING WING.” Several security guards picked IAN up and carried him off.
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Alice
in May 20th, 2007 @ 23:09Okay, so Ian got IAN to revolt, kind of? *is confused*
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E2MB
in May 21st, 2007 @ 12:45Nah, IAN’s just old and is malfunctioning. He has white hair, Lold Ragevuire has pointed out.
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Alice
in May 21st, 2007 @ 14:29Yeah, and he’s an I series.
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Prarilius Canix
in May 21st, 2007 @ 17:25120- He’s on an airless moon. If he didn’t explode, he would suffocate.
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125
E2MB
in May 21st, 2007 @ 17:37124 – Maybe they made an artificial atmosphere. You can never tell when it’s 200 years in the future.
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126
Alice
in May 21st, 2007 @ 17:40Ee, you’re right. Maybe he was jumping to the floor? After all, there wouldn’t be a door that led right out to the bare planet. I mean moon.
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E2MB
in May 21st, 2007 @ 17:43126 – Ian asked for the quickest way out. It was probably an emergency exit.
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Lord Ragevuire the Shadow Mage, Arch Deathseeker, and leader of the Kraliocc
in May 21st, 2007 @ 19:21Tons of new posts!! YAY!!
124-What about the artfri-spheres? Wait, you weren’t there…
Click HERE.
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Lord Ragevuire the Shadow Mage, Arch Deathseeker, and leader of the Kraliocc
in May 21st, 2007 @ 19:22NNNNNNNNNNNNO!!!!
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Alice
in May 21st, 2007 @ 19:32Um, Lord Ragevuire . . . PC’s been here since the beginning. The first post was written by him.
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E2MB
in May 21st, 2007 @ 19:46130 – But he left for a long time in the middle of the first part.
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E2MB
in May 21st, 2007 @ 19:47By the way, people, the word count of Part 2 is now almost 13,000. The word count of Part 1 was about 16,000, so if we want a smooth ending we need to start to wrap things up and get ready for Part 3.
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Prarilius Canix
in May 21st, 2007 @ 21:41Let’s have Jaa reach the security system, reprogram the computers so that he gets access to all levels and thaw out the Containers who haven’t been programmed yet. (Series W to Z.) Then he leads them in a revolt and blows up the Parents headquarters, but KeRJ escapes with some loyal followers and Jaa’s notes. He’ll use those to construct an artificial gravity engine in secret, setting up for the final installment.
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Alice
in May 21st, 2007 @ 21:53Sounds good! Got to go! My sister’s bugging me!
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Alice
in May 21st, 2007 @ 22:16Jaa walked purposefully along the halls, or would have been walking purposefully if he hadn’t been dragging two insensible Containers along with him.
~~~~~
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E2MB
in May 21st, 2007 @ 22:36133 – Ahm……..okay. Let’s follow that. Stories are sometimes better when planned out.
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E2MB
in May 21st, 2007 @ 22:45135 – They’re still unconcious, aren’t they?
~~~~~~~~~~~
He had heard the commotion, and when all the guards went running to the main control room, he knew he had a chance to escape.
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Alice
in May 21st, 2007 @ 23:00137- Yep, that’s what insensible means.
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E2MB
in May 22nd, 2007 @ 12:11138 – Oh, yea. I forgot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jaa saw one of the guards drop his autospear on the way to the control room. Perfect! He picked it up and quickly cut the chains that attached him to VAK and VEN.
He heard a big argument going on in the main control room. HAV was being charged with letting the hostage go. HAV argued that SAH and SAJ should have been watching, and blows were being exchanged. Jaa peered in and saw that the controls were being left unguarded.
He sneeked in. Since he looked a great deal like all the other Containers, nobody would recognize him unless they looked closely or saw his identity tattoo. When he got up to the switchboard, he instructed the computer to send all the unprogrammed Containers to the reprogramming ward. Then he snuck off to the reprogramming ward.
IAN was busy being programmed in one of the 15 reprogramming stations. Jaa looked around, and saw nobody was there. All the guards had all rushed to the control room after hearing the bizarre message and a hostage escape.
The machine asked him for a password. Jaa typed in “EXIT0000042” which brought him back to the main desktop. He opened Programs.exe and typed in a short computer program that would try every possible combonation of numbers and letters until it found the password. After grinding for a few seconds, Jaa gained access to reprogram Containers.
About 2 minutes later, all 10 of the W-series Containers came through a transportation tube into the reprogramming ward. Jaa quickly wrote up instructions to destroy the Parent’s headquarters by whatever means possible, then plugged the instructions into all the W-series Containers.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Is this going a bit too fast?
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Alice
in May 22nd, 2007 @ 14:39Well, maybe, but we can edit it out later. This is only a first draft. What I’m more confused about is this: Only ten W-series Containers? Or only ten that are unprogrammed?
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E2MB
in May 22nd, 2007 @ 17:51Only 10 W-series Containers. There are probably lots more in other series.
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Lord Ragevuire the Shadow Mage, Arch Deathseeker, and leader of the Kraliocc
in May 22nd, 2007 @ 19:18141-No! There has got to be more!!! Read this! It makes sense doen’t it?!
74. Lord Ragevuire the Shadow Mage �|� May 10th, 2007 at 6:31 pm
70-I’ll try…
_________________
She stood undecided for a second and then broke for the dome. She didn’t know why she just did.
________________
So much for saving her. I hope that helps. BTW, I have an idea for the Container ID codes work. Take LAQ. First letter = series. Letter two = type, or ‘version’, eg LAQ is in the L series, and is in the first L series version group. Last letter. The ‘model number’. Jaa is the first J series container because of the classic A=1, B=2, ie his number is 10-1-1. Make sense?
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E2MB
in May 22nd, 2007 @ 19:57142 – That doesn’t mean there’s a Container for every ID code. And maybe the Parents only just started making W-series Containers.
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E2MB
in May 23rd, 2007 @ 18:01I just had a major shock wave of inspiration.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When the X-series Containers were shuttled into the room, Jaa saw there were far more of them – there must’ve been at least 100, if not more. Jaa programmed them with the same instructions as before, but with a new command added: Attack all humanoids in the building except KRI and JAA (he knew Ian had escaped). When the Y-series Containers came (there were about 75), Jaa started to program them when a voice yelled, “FREEZE!”
Jaa looked around. 15 security guards, armed with autospears were standing defiantly in the doorway of the reprogramming ward. Jaa looked around, saw a box of auto-spears on the shelf, and in a split second ran to the box, spilled all the auto-spears onto the floor, and yelled “X and Y series Containers, grab an auto-spear and ATTACK!” And thus the Great Container Revolt (as it was reffered to later by Parents who survived) began.
The 15 security guards could not face the hordes of Containers about to attack them. They called for backup. The Containers charged.
Jaa, protected by his army of Containers, programmed the rest of the Y-series Containers to fight, but when the Z-series Containers came (only about 30 in number), he gave them a new instruction: find an hydrogen bomb and set it off. Then he picked up an autospear and started to look for a way to get out of the escalating carnage.
Jaa made his way to the main control room, dodging auto-spears right and left. He looked through the front window and saw the Victory still lying exactly where it had been before, but he could see several security guards around it, and in the middle….no, it couldn’t be…..was it Ian?
When Ian had jumped out, he had ran to the Victory , but some security guards had followed him. Ian had been able to get to the Victory in time, but he didn’t know how to drive it.
Jaa called for 6 X-series Containers (who were usually tougher than those of the Y-series) to follow him, and saw a W-series Container tearing apart a wall with a knife. The seven made their way to the door eventually. “Attack the security guards around that ship!” Jaa pointed, and the Containers obeyed. As the security guards fled, the Containers chased them around to the other side of the building before giving up and going back inside. Jaa turned to Ian.
“What’s going on?” said Ian, dumbfounded. “Are all the Containers suddenly going mad?”
“That’s not important,” said Jaa quickly, “Where’s Kari?”
“They sent her to….to Terra.” Ian said quietly.
“WHAT???” yelled Jaa in shock.
“IAN said they were testing some teletransportation equipment on her, and sent her to Terra.” Ian replied. Jaa sputtered, “We have to get to Terra!” and climbed aboard furiously.
Ian scrambled into a chair right before Jaa slammed the capsule door shut and pulled down the speed lever all the way, cursing the Parent’s name. They had just blasted off when they heard a huge boom. Ian turned and saw a mushroom cloud rising from Callisto’s surface. He informed Jaa.
“We’ve done it!” cried Jaa victoriously, “We’ve defeated the Parents once and for all!” but then slumped, and his face turned red with anger once again. “But they’ve given Kari a !@#$%* of a way to die!”
Ian was quiet. He knew Kari would die on Terra if she was unprotected. He solemely went to the window to gaze out at Jupiter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
They don’t know it, but one ship has left with a few Parents in it, including Kerj.
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Prarilius Canix
in May 23rd, 2007 @ 18:32And remember, Kerj has taken Jaa’s notes.
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Alice
in May 23rd, 2007 @ 18:34Kari looked wildly around for the suits. She saw them lined up along the far wall, but most of them were smashed to bits. She managed to find an intact one, or so she thought , but she had just finished putting it on when she saw the tiny rip . . . But there was no more time to find another one. She seized a roll of something silver that her memories registered as duct tape, and bound it round and round the hole. It probably wouldn’t stand up to radiation, but it would have to do. There was no more time.
~~~~~~~~~
Sorry, still can’t think of a way to save her.
~~~~~~~~~
“Do you think she’s dead already?” asked Ian. He knew he shouldn’t think about it, but it was hard not to.
“Depends,” muttered Jaa. “If they gave her any protection at all, and when she got there. But I’d say, knowing the Parents, yeah.”
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E2MB
in May 23rd, 2007 @ 18:52Oh good! New posts!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kari wasn’t dead yet, but she was getting very close. As she struggled to get the suit on, she saw tiny bubbles starting to form on her skin. They started to pop, and then new bubbles formed underneath. To her relief, the formation of bubbles slowed when she had sealed herself inside the radiation suit, but she knew she didn’t have much time. She wasn’t able to think clearly anymore.
She limped around, as she was loosing her strength, and saw an elevator. She went toward it and saw a sign above the elevator door that read “UNDERGROUND RESEARCH STATION”. Good, she thought (as best she could). If I get far enough away from the radiation on the surface, maybe these symptoms will stop. She pressed the button and the elevator door opened. As soon as she was inside, the elevator started to go down jerkily, for it probably hadn’t been used in over 100 years.
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E2MB
in May 23rd, 2007 @ 18:53I know I haven’t exactly saved her, but it’s a start.
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Alice
in May 23rd, 2007 @ 19:06Okay, so let’s change my post about Kari to this:
Kari looked wildly around for the suits. She saw them lined up along the far wall, but most of them were smashed to bits. She managed to find an intact one, or so she thought, but before she put it on she saw the tiny rip . . . But there was no more time to find another one. She seized a roll of something silver that her memories registered as duct tape, and bound it round and round the hole. It probably wouldn’t stand up to radiation, but it would have to do. There was no more time.
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in May 23rd, 2007 @ 19:12149 – What exactly did you change from the first version of that post?
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Alice
in May 23rd, 2007 @ 19:28150- In the first one she already had the suit on. In the second she saw the rip first.
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E2MB
in May 23rd, 2007 @ 19:39151 – Ah.
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Alice
in May 23rd, 2007 @ 21:03So they have to rescue Kari in about 4000 words, or leave her till Part 3. Maybe they should learn that Kari is still alive, or decide to go and see, and then we can end Part 2 and start Part 3.
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in May 23rd, 2007 @ 22:51153 – Just about. The word count so far is 12,408, compared to 15,651. We can have the sequel be slightly longer than the first, but not too much.
But to put things in perspective, from when they crash-landed right next to the Parent’s headquarters to where they are now took slightly less than 4,000 words, so I think that there is plenty of time to have a dramatic rescue.
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in May 24th, 2007 @ 13:06Conceptional plot idea for the rest of Part 2: Ian and Jaa go to Terra, have an adventure or two, somehow find Kari and rescue her, and then have a final scene from Kerj’s pespective aboard his ship with the other surviving Parents.
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in May 24th, 2007 @ 13:10Inspiration.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“If Kari is dead, then why are we going to Terra?” Ian asked Jaa.
“Because if by some obscure chance she is still alive and we do not attempt to save her,” said Jaa, “A burden of guilt will forever be upon me.”
“But even if we get to Terra and Kari is still alive, how will we find her? We can’t track her because she tore out her microchip.”
Jaa sighed deeply. “I suppose we’ll find a way,” he said drearily as he steered through the asteroid belt.
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in May 24th, 2007 @ 13:12I have an idea for what Kari sees when she gets out of the elevator but I can’t type it now because the period just ended bye
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in May 24th, 2007 @ 22:22If this is too weird, we can change it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It seemed forever for the rusty pistons to carry the elevator to it’s destination, but Kari did not have a clear sense of time so she did not notice.
Eventually, with a sudden jolt, the elevator stopped, and the doors slowly opened. There before her stood a long winding tunnel through the dry earth just big enough to walk in without having to crouch down. Kari was starting to think clearly again and the radiation effects were stopping, so she figured that she must be at least 20 miles down. What would something be doing down here?
She started to walk into the tunnel, which was lit only by a few brave, flickering LED bulbs every 100 feet or so. Kari could barely see where she was going, but there seemed to be nothing in the tunnel. Then suddenly she cringed as the tunnel suddenly flooded with light.
In front of her stood a sign, and then a small door a dozen feet behind it. The sign read, “YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENTER A TRIP TO ANCIENT TERRAN HISTORY. IF YOU ARE HONEST AND TRUE, PROCEED. IF YOU ARE FALSE AND VIOLENT, PLEASE DO NOT WASTE OUR PRECIOUS TIME. THANK YOU.”
Kari, mystefied, walked quickly toward the door and opened it. Then she gasped.
She saw a brilliantly bright room that must have been miles long and wide, and have a ceiling at least 300 feet in the air. Trees (real Terran trees!!!) and other plants populated the ground, with rabbits and deer darting around and wildflowers dotting the landscape. Birds flew overhead. Bright lights lit up the enclosed world from the extremely high ceiling. Kari was not exactly stricken with awe, she had seen things like this in the Habitats orbiting Mars. But what suprised her was, What in the heck was this doing on Terra?
Then she saw another sign to her left. It was titled, “MISSION STATEMENT.” She read it eagerly.
Welcome to the ancient Terran recreated world. This is an entirely self-sustaining environment created by the Preservers, which is us. When everybody else left, we attempted to preserve Terra forever by creating this. There might be a few humans still living here, but they may have all died out by the time you read this. If there are any humans left, you may contact them for further information. Please do not harm our creation.
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Alice/Rhoda/Elderseventh
in May 24th, 2007 @ 22:49It’s not too weird yet.
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Alice/Rhoda/Elderseventh
in May 24th, 2007 @ 22:53“Hello?” hollered Kari, but she only succeeded in frightening the rabbits. She wasn’t so sure she wanted to meet the “Preservers” after all. It sounded too much like Neoterra for her liking.
~~~
Yeah, I know, it doesn’t but Kari has been thinking of nothing but the Parents for 80 years, so waddya expect?
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in May 24th, 2007 @ 23:03159 – Okay, good.
I was simply reviving an old idea I had. You can see where it origionated here.
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Alice/Rhoda/Elderseventh
in May 24th, 2007 @ 23:16Oh yeah! The confusing part! (There were 50 or so posts that had me completely bewildered.)
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Prarilius Canix
in May 25th, 2007 @ 14:49I know! How about this is where they learn that the Parents are sort of renegade Preservers who disagreed with the rest of the Preservers. The Preservers wanted to set up a subterranean habitat, but the Parents presented a bolder plan- the creation of Neoterra. The Preservers realized that Project Neoterra would kill thousands of people, so they banished the Parents and continued their project.
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Alice
in May 25th, 2007 @ 15:28163- Ooh, good idea.
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E2MB
in May 26th, 2007 @ 14:10163 – Yea, good idea!
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Prarilius Canix
in May 26th, 2007 @ 14:22And the Preservers have been developing a strategy to restore Terra. Great blocks of stable uranicium-138 will be set up at strategic points, absorbing the harmful radiation. At the same time, genetically engineered bacteria will be released into the atmosphere, to devour greenhouse gases and pollution. This is codenamed Project Phoenix. It will take a few centuries to make Terra inhabitable again, which is why the Parents oppose it. They want Terra back now.
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Kiki the Great
in May 26th, 2007 @ 14:59I’m lost. I’m not even going to try to write. Lemme give you some ideas though.
_________________
1. A giant…. er…. thing…
____________________I got nothin’.
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in May 26th, 2007 @ 15:14166 – Sounds good.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kari started to wander into the forest. About 100 feet in, there was a stretch of red tape. She was wondering why this was there when suddenly she heard two voices scream. She looked up and saw two young children, who must have been 5 or 6, running away. Kari ran after them, through the forest, and out into a grassy feild. There were different food crops growing there, all authentically Terran. At the end of a feild was a huge grey building. The young children ran up to it and went through the door. Kari wandered closer.
A sign above the door read, “THE PRESERVERS. POPULATION 31.” Kari cautiously opened the door.
Inside were vast computers, science labs, chemistry tables, and several people working very intensely at them. The children were tugging at one of the older workers, saying, “There’s a stranger! There’s a stranger!” He looked up, and dropped his flask.
“A SPY!!! A SPY FROM THE PARENTS!!!” he yelled. Immediately a metal cage dropped over Kari. Kari did not understand for a moment, but then she figured that these people did not like the Parents, and that she looked like one of their Containers (which she had been).
Thundering down a stairway over on the far corner were several men, women, and children. “What’s going on?” one of the women asked.
“A spy, Laura,” said the man, “The Parents sent a spy.”
“Wait!” said Kari. “I’m not from the Parents!” That wasn’t exactly true, so she added, “And I’m not a spy for them! They sent me here to get rid of me!”
The Preservers, who Kari figured correctly were all the people living here, paused. “How do we know she’s not lying?” one of them said suddenly, and they began to argue amongst themselves.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Back in the asteroid belt, a red light flashed on the display board. “Oh no,” said Jaa, “I completely forgot. This is only an escape pod!”
“What does that mean?” said Ian.
“It means that there’s not enough fuel in this tin sphere to get us all the way to Terra!” said Jaa, obviously frustrated. “We only have enough to get to Mars!”
Oh no, thought Ian, remembering his last visit to the Red Planet.
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in May 26th, 2007 @ 15:16167 – Uh, it’s okay. The story’s still puttering along, and there are still four active writers.
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in May 26th, 2007 @ 15:24Idea:
Kari is suddenly whisked back to Callisto by the teleportation device, which was set to retrieve her after a few hours which by then it would be presumed she died an awful death. The atom bomb hasn’t totally destroyed the Parent’s headquarters, as it was made out of very strong metal, and the place where she was beamed back is almost completely intact. She finds the Victory which Ian and Jaa never got back from the Parents, and then flies to Mars where she meets Ian and Jaa while they are looking for shuttles to Terra, of which there are none. Then that concludes Part 2, and we start the editing mayhem.
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in May 26th, 2007 @ 15:25Then in Part 3 Kari tells Ian and Jaa about the Preservers, and they go an join them, and help them with their plan. But then the remaining Parents show up, and there’s a huge dramatic battle.
Just an idea.
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Alice
in May 26th, 2007 @ 17:53Right. Sounds good . . . er . . . wonderful. (Inside joke. Visit Capt. Pye and Co. to see the whole thing.)
You leave for half a day and look what happens! I’ll write in a minute, when I know someone else hasn’t posted, and when I’ve checked up on my other threads.
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Alice
in May 26th, 2007 @ 18:28Suddenly one of the children gasped, and pointed to where Kari had been standing only a moment before. There was now only a faint haze, and a few billionths of a second later, that too was gone.
Kari regained consciousness in the teleportation lab on Callisto. ((No way am I looking up details right now.)) It was curiously empty. Kari had not got to see it before, but it looked completely unremarkable.
And, miracle of miracles, there were her clothes, lying on the smooth cold floor next to the metal table! But with that welcome sight, there came another, not so welcome, one.
The robot that had been about to pick them up had malfunctioned and now stood frozen. And the Parents’ robots never malfunctioned.
~~~~~~~~~
She can’t wear a radiation suit forever.
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Prarilius Canix
in May 26th, 2007 @ 18:34Kari opened the door onto a scene of devastation. The artifisphere generator near the headquarters must have been intact, because she was able to breathe. Other than that, the remnants of the headquarters were mostly shreds of twisted metal.
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Alice
in May 26th, 2007 @ 18:42She did not feel any great sorrow for the Parents or the headquarters; indeed, at first she felt only relief, but then a thought popped into her head.
What happened to Ian and Jaa?
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Prarilius Canix
in May 26th, 2007 @ 18:50I’m out of inspiration, so I’ll just write the end scene.
***
The Container straightened up from the computer in front of him, pressing a button on the wall."SIR?"came a cold, annoyed voice through the speakers.
"WHAT IS IT?"
"HIGH PATRICIAN, I'VE MANAGED TO RECONSTRUCT THE PLANS FOR THE GRAVITY ENGINE FROM RENEGADE JAA'S NOTES. SHALL WE BEGIN CONSTRUCTION?"Kerj ended the transmission and flicked a lever. The engines powered up, sending the Orca, the only ship to escape from the wreckage of the Parents headquarters, towards the most inhospitable planet known to man.
"WHERE, THOUGH? OUR HEADQUARTERS AND OUR FACILITY ON IO HAVE BOTH BEEN DESTROYED."
"WHAT ABOUT THE SECRET CORE FACILITY, SIR?"
"YOU READ MY MIND. SET COURSE FOR MERCURY."
"YES, SIR."
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Alice
in May 26th, 2007 @ 19:36That’s good. Now we just have to send Kari to Mars to meet Ian and Jaa, and then we can do the next part – and the editing. (Oh, bliss!) (not about the being done, about the editing.
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E2MB
in May 26th, 2007 @ 19:36176 – I would think that Venus would be even worse, but whatever.
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in May 26th, 2007 @ 21:25Finally, my server is working again!!!!
173 – She has to until she leaves Callisto. They just set off an atomic bomb, didn’t they?
I have to go. I’ll write more later.
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in May 26th, 2007 @ 22:37Off of 175 –
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As she looked around, she saw the landing pad. There was a familiar ship on it. It was…
“The Victory !” Kari picked up her clothes and ran to her ship, which she thought had been lost to the Parents forever. Then, when she raised her fists up in the air, she noticed a blue spot on her arm. She looked at it.
“Oh no,” she muttered, “The Parents gave me a new Microchip!”
***
The familiar red globe came into the window’s view once again as Jaa prepared to land. Since he had not come to go to MarsGarden, he could land in the country he pleased. He steered toward Mars03, as it had humbly accepted it’s status as the third country founded, and had not fought over the rights to the artifacts like Mars02 and Mars01.
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in May 26th, 2007 @ 23:10Word count of Part 2 so far: 14,206.
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Alice
in May 26th, 2007 @ 23:20Sweet.
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Alice
in May 26th, 2007 @ 23:32Hang on, aren’t microchips tiny green dots of light beneath your skin?
Yup. See this:
. . . There was the green pinprick of light that signified a microchip. . .
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Alice
in May 26th, 2007 @ 23:54When we edit it we’ll have to make it so that Ian and Jaa made off with another escape pod, rather than the Victory.
“Drat!” said Kari. She was reluctant to go anywhere with the microchip in her arm, as it would only be a matter of time before she was caught, but she couldn’t stay here either.
At last she reasoned that the Parents were probably all dead, if the headquarters were anything to go by. It was more to reassure herself that it was safe to leave than because she actually believed it, but she chanted it to herself while she started up the Victory, and by the time she blasted off from Callisto, she was beginning to believe that none of them, not even Kerj, could possibly have survived the bomb that devastated the headquarters.
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in May 27th, 2007 @ 09:15184 – I changed that in my draft, by changing “the Victory ” to “the escape pod”. If you’re also keeping it, you can make that change too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To her delight, the ship had been entirely restocked with gadgets and the fuel tank had been filled. She now had enough fuel to travel at least 15 AUs.
Since she figured she was out of reaches of the bomb’s radiation, she put her clothes back on.
Now where would Ian and Jaa be? She thought for a moment. What if they were the ones who set off the bomb? What if they were blown up when the Parent’s headquarters were destroyed?
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Alice
in May 27th, 2007 @ 12:48This is the most active and productive RRR yet. Save perhaps Etheterre, but that isn’t very active.
The people of Mars03 were a mild and pleasant bunch, in sharp contrast with their neighbors. Jaa landed their pod in a public [what are these called?] and they debarked from the ship.
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Prarilius Canix
in May 27th, 2007 @ 13:47186- Port.
Jaa reached a bench and collapsed, head in his hands. “Kari’s dead, we’re stuck on the most warlike planet in Solana, and we have no money or food. We’re doomed.”
Ian was equally depressed. Despite the fact that Kari drove him crazy fifty per cent of the time, he had gotten used to the sharp-witted, sardonic girl. He trudged back into the Victory and slumped into the control chair. Not knowing why he did it, he called up a tracking program and entered his ID number. INVALID flashed on the screen. No surprise there. His microchip was out. He put in Jaa’s. INVALID. But when he entered Kari’s, for no particular reason, the results were more surprising.
REQUESTED CHIP NO LONGER VALID. SEARCH NUMBER OF REPLACEMENT CHIP? Y/N
A faint flutter of hope started in Ian’s chest. Fingers trembling, he pressed Y.
A map of Callisto appeared on the screen, slowly rotating and zooming in.
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Alice
in May 27th, 2007 @ 14:53Sweet. (My new word.)
~~~~~~~~
“JAA!” he cried, more loudly than he had intended. “Come look at this!
Jaa was at his side before you could say “microchip.” “What-”
“Kari must be alive! And she has a new microchip!” Ian had never thought he’d be happy about that fact. Neither had Jaa, but in fact they were jubilant.
“She’s on Callisto,” Jaa began, but before he could say whatever it was that he was going to say next, the map shifted, so that it was now showing space around the Jovian moons.
“Not anymore,” said Ian, grinning from ear to ear. But Jaa had thought of something, and was suddenly sober.
“How are we going to contact her? We don’t even know what ship she’s on.”
~~~~~~~~~
It’s not much of a problem, but they don’t really deserve yet ANOTHER problem yet. It isn’t quite fair how we keep lobbing dilemmas at them.It does keep the story moving, though. I can’t imagine this RRR being slower-paced.
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E2MB
in May 27th, 2007 @ 16:05187 – Not the Victory, the escape pod.
BTW, around the year 2187, the planets Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune will all be lined up in a row. (One thing we’ve forgotten with interplanetary travel is that sometimes planets are on opposite sides of the sun.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“How could she be on any ship?” said Jaa. “The Parent’s headquarters and all their rockets got blown up!..at least I think they did. What if that hydrogen bomb wasn’t big enough to destroy the entire building. What do you think, Ian?”
Ian’s eyes were following the map on the screen. Kari appeared to be traveling at a very high speed on a route commonly taken to get to Ceres.
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E2MB
in May 27th, 2007 @ 16:07Oh wait, put this in between 188 and 189.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Then Jaa thought of something else.
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Alice
in May 27th, 2007 @ 16:16“She’s going to Ceres,” he said, clearly not paying any attention to what Jaa was saying.
“Ian!” cried Jaa in frustration, then is curiosity got the better of him. “Why would she be going to Ceres?”
“Maybe she thinks that we’re there?” said Ian doubtfully.
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E2MB
in May 27th, 2007 @ 16:41WOW this RRR is productive. 5 posts in the past 3 hours.
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E2MB
in May 27th, 2007 @ 16:52Jaa picked up the radio off the wall. “Well, we’ve got to tell her that we’re not,” he said as he began dialing all of the Parent’s ship numbers he could remember. None of the numbers found a destination, every time the radio would say, “There is no ship with that number. You may have incorrectly dialed the number, or that ship may have wrecked. Please try again.” Frustrated, Jaa started redialing all the numbers when Ian asked, “Have you tried dialing the Victory ?”
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Alice
in May 27th, 2007 @ 16:58“Don’t be silly,” said Jaa irritably. “The Victory wouldn’t have survived.” But he dialed the number all the same.
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E2MB
in May 27th, 2007 @ 17:06To his suprise, someone answered.
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Alice
in May 27th, 2007 @ 17:21I can’t do this scene, sorry.
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Lord Ragevuire the Shadow Mage, Arch Deathseeker, and leader of the Kraliocc
in May 27th, 2007 @ 20:18Jaa almost dropped the phone. “Hello?” said Kari’s voice aprehensivly. “KARI?! How…?”
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Lord Ragevuire the Shadow Mage, Arch Deathseeker, and leader of the Kraliocc
in May 28th, 2007 @ 12:29I am here EEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYY!!!
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E2MB
in May 28th, 2007 @ 14:21Kari recognized the voice. “Jaa!” she said. “Is that you?”
“Yes…” stuttered Jaa, shocked. “What…what are you doing on the Victory?”
Kari felt a wave of relief. The police were not the ones calling. She was afraid that with her new microchip, the police could hunt her down, and she was pretty well wanted for some of the things she had done.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I’ll write more later.
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Alice
in May 28th, 2007 @ 14:38“Jaa! Are you alright? What happened to the headquarters? Is Ian there? Where are you?”
“First things first,” said Jaa, amused to hear Kari so full of questions. “Do you want to hear bad news, or good news first?”
“Bad,” said Kari automatically.
“You have a new microchip.”
“I knew that. Is that all?”
“We’re out of fuel on Mars. Luckily, it’s Mar03. Now for the good news. We blew up the headquarters.”
“I saw! It was almost completely demolished.”
Almost? thought Jaa, but chose not to pursue the matter. “And we’re both fine,” he continued. “Now I get to ask the questions. One, why are you going to Ceres?”
~~~~~~~~
I’ll leave you to it, guys.
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Alice
in May 28th, 2007 @ 14:39And hey! We did it again! Let’s use E2MB’s. I like it better.
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E2MB
in May 28th, 2007 @ 16:35I like both. Put this inbetween the two.
~But then Kari began to wonder, what had happened?~
Continuing the story-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Ceres?” said Kari. “I assumed that that would be where you would go, since that’s where Ian lived before he met me. Why in the Solana would you be going to Mars?”
“Ian found out that you were teleported to Terra, so we were heading there to try and rescue you. But then we tracked your microchip and found that you were, in fact, still on Callisto. I think Ian misheard the bit about Terra.”
“No, no,” said Kari, “I was on Terra for a little while.”
“How did you survive?” asked Jaa.
“I think they put some nanobots in me to protect me for a little while. But I found that underground in Antarctica there’s a group of people called the Preservers and they’re doing something that…”
“Wait!” said Jaa. “Can you please come to Mars? We have no food or money. Do you have any food or money?”
“I don’t have any food, but I have lots of money,” said Kari. “The Parents stocked our ship well. There’s at least 40 betrens in the storage unit.”
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E2MB
in May 28th, 2007 @ 16:43Two sol-days later, the trio was sitting around a table in a public park on Mars.
“What should we do now?” asked Jaa.
“Why don’t we go and find out what the Preservers are doing?” suggested Ian.
“That sounds splendid,” said Jaa. “Now that we don’t have to worry about the Parents, we can do whatever we want. We defeated the Parents, didn’t we?”
“I don’t know…” said Kari. “About everything in the Parent’s headquarters was destroyed, except for the teleporting room and part of the ship garage.”
The Container straightened up from the computer in front of him, pressing a button on the wall. “SIR?”
“WHAT IS IT?” came a cold, annoyed voice through the speakers.
“HIGH PATRICIAN, I’VE MANAGED TO RECONSTRUCT THE PLANS FOR THE GRAVITY ENGINE FROM RENEGADE JAA’S NOTES. SHALL WE BEGIN CONSTRUCTION?”
“WHERE, THOUGH? OUR HEADQUARTERS AND OUR FACILITY ON IO HAVE BOTH BEEN DESTROYED.”
“WHAT ABOUT THE SECRET CORE FACILITY, SIR?”
“YOU READ MY MIND. SET COURSE FOR MERCURY.”
“YES, SIR.” Kerj ended the transmission and flicked a lever. The engines powered up, sending the Orca, the only ship to escape from the wreckage of the Parents headquarters, towards the most inhospitable planet known to man.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I think that’s a good cutoff point for Part 2. It’s a cliffhanger, but Part 1’s conclusion wasn’t much more conclusionish than this one. And our wordcount now is almost exactly the same as Part 1.
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Alice
in May 28th, 2007 @ 16:53W00T! That is probably the only time I will ever say that, but we finished Part 2! What an accomplishment! Yay!
~ Smiley overload?
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Alice
in May 28th, 2007 @ 17:06Now what do we do? Do we edit it on the Part 1 Edit thread? If so, let’s get on with it. I can barely contain my excitement. I will let E2MB do the honors of posting the story.
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E2MB
in May 28th, 2007 @ 17:09An RRR getting 31,000 words in it’s first four months is pretty amazing.
Should I post the story here, or on Terra formed part 1 the edit, or should we have a new thread to edit part 2 on?
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Alice
in May 28th, 2007 @ 18:30That’s what I’m wondering.
*jumps up and down* Sorry, sorry. I’m excited. I love editing.
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Alice
in May 28th, 2007 @ 19:19We might as well continue with our planning while wondering where to edit the story. I had an idea. You know that in Norway they are building a vault to keep seeds in that will withstand a nuclear disaster? We should use that at some point.
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E2MB
in May 28th, 2007 @ 19:27208 – Yea! I read about it in Muse!
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in May 28th, 2007 @ 19:29207 – I posted 206 before 205 was moderated.
I’m going to go post the story on Terra Formed Part 1 the edit. That thread is still relatively short, as the Part 1 text is no longer on it.
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E2MB
in May 28th, 2007 @ 21:32
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Alice
in May 28th, 2007 @ 21:46As I have no inspiration, I will give someone else the honor of starting the story.
(Now if the someone else would start the story . . .)
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E2MB
in May 28th, 2007 @ 22:07PC and LR will be suprised how far we’ve gotten when they come back!
I shall start, as Alice asked someone to do.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kerj was not a happy soul. Ever since the regenades KRI and JAA had destroyed the Parent’s headquarters, he had not been his usual self. He would keep muttering curse words under his breath, and sometimes exceptionally bad ones.
The only place the Parents still had left was their secret outpost on Mercury. Nobody ever went near the boiling hot planet, as it was useless to try and terraform something that close to the sun. But the Parents had seen it as a place to get some privacy.
LAQ, one of the very few Containers to survive the Great Container Revolt, walked up to Kerj. “SIR,” she said, “WHAT SHALL WE DO ABOUT THE REGENADES KRI AND-”
“QUIET!” Kerj roared. “YOU SHALL NEVER SAY THEIR NAMES IN FRONT OF ME. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?”
“YES, SIR.”
“TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION,” Kerj said, “LEAVE THEM ALONE. THEY THINK THEY’VE DEFEATED US, AND IT SHOULD STAY THAT WAY. AS LONG AS THEY DON’T KNOW SOME OF US SURVIVED, THEY WON’T BOTHER US ANYMORE.” He went into a rage of loud cursing at the memories of when he purposely missed a shot fired at Kari. Oh, why hadn’t he given her what she deserved then, before she cause so much destruction?
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in May 29th, 2007 @ 11:02“Radiation suits?” asked Jaa.
“Check.”
“Food?”
“Not real food,” muttered Ian.
“Oh, don’t be silly,” said Kari. “The Preservers are sure to have real food. Check.”
“Enough fuel to get us to Terra?”
Kari glanced at the fuel light. “Probably.”
This was far from comforting to Ian, but Jaa and Kari seemed to think it sufficient, because Jaa said. “Great! I think we’re ready.”
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in May 29th, 2007 @ 11:14Ian was glad. Ever since he heard that the Preservers had created a Terran habitat, he was very eager to go.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Before we go too much further, we need to make a desicion. How many parts do we want to have? 3? 4? More?
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in May 29th, 2007 @ 11:38I thought 3. After all, our book already has 31000 words, even without much editing. Add another 15k and you have a good-sized novel. Besides, three is a good number. But the real problem is, can we defeat the Parents for once and for all without it being too rushed? They are amazingly resilient. If we tried to defeat the Parents and meet the Preservers in 15000 words, is that plausible?
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in May 29th, 2007 @ 11:43216 – Definently. Look at how much happened in parts 1 and 2. And now that I think of it, this fits amazingly nicely.
The parents have three bases, one on Io, one on Callisto, and one on Mercury. In part 1, they destroyed the one on Io. In part 2, they destroyed the one on Callisto. So now in part 3, they will destroy the one on Mercury. )
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in May 29th, 2007 @ 12:00217- Well, the one on Io was actually just where they were constructing the artificial gravity machine. It was really the Gigacorp Headquarters. But that’s totally irrelevant, as a matter of fact. That is perfect.
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in May 29th, 2007 @ 12:09I think that we should do away with the capitals and merely call the book Terraformed. Then, I think that we should call the parts Io, Callisto, and Mercury. What say you?
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in May 29th, 2007 @ 12:12219 – Good idea!
I can see it now……
TERRAFORMED
the Io sagaTERRAFORMED
the Callisto sagaTERRAFORMED
the Mercury saga*heads over to the edit thread*
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in May 29th, 2007 @ 12:16219- Great. Whoa, you guys have gotten so far!
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in May 29th, 2007 @ 12:30Can I be keeper for part 3 too?
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in May 29th, 2007 @ 12:46Ian stepped up the entry stairs to the Victory‘s cockpit and strapped himself into one of the control chairs. Jaa and Kari filed in after him.
“Ready for this?” Kari inquired playfully.
Ian grinned. “When have I not been?”
“For the past few weeks,” Kari said.
“Why you…!” Ian exclaimed, half in fury, half in laughter. He was fumbling for the buckle on the straps when Kari started up the engines. All three of them were slammed back into their seats as the Victory accelerated away from the Red Planet.
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in May 29th, 2007 @ 12:55“I don’t think the Parents are a threat to us anymore,” Jaa said to Kari, who was still a little bit worried about how the Parent’s headquarters hadn’t been totally destroyed. “Even if the bomb didn’t destroy the entire headquarters, I’m sure all the Containers I programmed hunted down every last one. I programmed them to fight to the death.”
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in May 29th, 2007 @ 13:32222- Of course! I can’t write right now, but I will in a minute.
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in May 29th, 2007 @ 15:39“I hope you’re right,” said Kari, sounding just as worried as before.
“I’m sure I’m right,” said Jaa.
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in May 29th, 2007 @ 19:29AA!! Kari still has a microchip. :lookofhorror:
____________________
The flight had been going for about an AU as Terra was no on the opposite side of Sol, and that would graetly lengthen the journey, when Ian spoke up. “All the Parentts are dead, right?”
Jaa stopped what he was doing, ehich happened to be bordely foolng with the color controls on the dashboards tracker screen. “Er…no. The H — Bomb won’t have killed them all….” his voice trailed off. “Solana,”said Kari angrily.
—
Danger was lurking quite close to them, in two places. On Mercury’s surface the last outpost of the Parents was hidden. High above it, in the vacum of space hung the Io detritus, or the largest part of it, D7, an immense chunk of solid rock with tentacles of steel hanging from it. The only reason it didn’t become a huge projectile of death, was because of the gravity of Mercury’s ‘moon’, an artificial collossili, dubbed the Monster, designed to be a testing ground for Protype weapons.
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in May 29th, 2007 @ 19:43227- But he said that he was sure that they were all dead! You’re confusing me.
And yes she does have a microchip. I was going to get rid of that, but I forgot.
I think that we should delete that first part of your post, Lolrd Ragevuire. (Sorry!) I’m really, really, confused.
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in May 29th, 2007 @ 19:48227- How did the moon of Io get all the way to Mercury?
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in May 29th, 2007 @ 20:08229- Wondering the same thing, if Io is indeed what I think it is. (A moon of Saturn.)
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in May 29th, 2007 @ 20:11227 – Hate to say it, but that post makes no sense. The first paragraph is inconsistent with the previous posts, I say we delete it. The second part is very confusing. What is Io doing there? And what is this projectile of death? And why is it attached to a moon?
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in May 29th, 2007 @ 20:12230 – And they blew it up at the end of Part 1!
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in May 29th, 2007 @ 22:16230- Moon of Jupiter.
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in May 29th, 2007 @ 22:28Hmm. I thought it was Saturn.
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in May 30th, 2007 @ 11:31234 – They haven’t visited any moons of Saturn yet. I don’t think they need to.
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in May 30th, 2007 @ 11:32231 and 235 sound a teense rude. Sorry.
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in May 30th, 2007 @ 13:36235- Nobody has visited Saturn yet. It’s uncolonized.
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in May 30th, 2007 @ 13:54I’m going to continue off 226, since Lord Ragevuire’s post doesn’t work very well.
~~~~~~~~
It was Ian who realized the impending doom. “Kari,” he said suddenly, “you still have a microchip.”
~~~~~~~~
And I’ll let someone else get rid of it.
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in May 30th, 2007 @ 16:56Kari knew this was a problem. Even if the Parents wouldn’t go after her, the police would, so she needed to get it off as soon as possible.
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in May 30th, 2007 @ 18:12You didn’t get rid of it, I say bluntly.
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in May 30th, 2007 @ 18:16But Mercury needs a moon….
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in May 30th, 2007 @ 18:42241 – Why?
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in May 30th, 2007 @ 18:45240 – I know. I didn’t have inspiration then.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Even though having a microchip was a real problem, Kari winced at the thought of the pain she had to endure the last time she removed her microchip. “Jaa,” she said, “Hand me an autospear. And some bandages. I’m going to carve the microchip out of my arm.”
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in May 30th, 2007 @ 20:34Ian turned pale. “Right now?”
“Yes, right now. And I’m looking forward to it a lot less than you are.”
“I don’t like blood . . .” muttered Ian.
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in May 30th, 2007 @ 23:15“Then don’t look,” said Kari, annoyed. “At least the blood won’t be your own!”
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in May 30th, 2007 @ 23:30Um . . . I don’t like blood either. Not extremely, but I always wince when characters in movies are wounded/hurt, so I’ll pass, thanks. Someone else can describe this, or we can just cut to after it’s taken out.
And how good is Kari at handling an auto-spear, anyways? I suppose it has been several weeks since she met Ian and was un-frozen (wrong order, I know) and in that time she would have learned how to handle the weapon.
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in May 31st, 2007 @ 00:10Well, I figured if Kari waited until the 5th time she ran away to remove the microchip, then it must not be a pleasent procedure.
If it bothers you let’s cut to after it’s over then.
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in May 31st, 2007 @ 00:16247- Well, the first microchip she removed by putting a lighted firecracker to her skin! It doesn’t sound very pleasant, does it?
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in May 31st, 2007 @ 12:03248 – Oh yea, I forgot about that! She probably doesn’t have a firecracker, so she has to dig it out of her arm with a knife.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“There’s Terra!” said Jaa, looking at the ship’s radar. He was steering now, as Kari now had one very painful wound on her right arm.
“Are you okay?” Ian asked Kari, as he was willing to look now that her arm was bandaged.
“I’m…..I’m okay,” said Kari. “This hurt a lot less than when I burned the microchip out of my arm.” Ian shuddered at the thought.
“Where exactly are the Preservers on Terra?” Jaa called from the front seat. “The entrance to their underground habitat is right near the South Pole, in the research facilities,” Kari called back.
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in May 31st, 2007 @ 17:15“And what exactly are they?” Ian asked.
“I’m not sure. They seem to be people who preserved a bit of Terra deep underground. But they somehow know about the Parents and Containers, and they hate them deeply.”
Ian smiled, a little nervously. “Maybe I should go in first.
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in May 31st, 2007 @ 19:26Mercury needs a moon because….er….
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in May 31st, 2007 @ 21:36“I think you should,” said Kari. “They didn’t like me the moment I walked in the door.”
“Well, put on your radiation suits,” Jaa said, looking through the main window at the approaching dim-green planet. “We’re coming in for a landing!”
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in May 31st, 2007 @ 21:41Ugh it’s been a long time since I had such acute wb on this thread.
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in May 31st, 2007 @ 21:45Not anymore.
~~~~~
Ian stepped into the rickety elevator and it creaked down, down, down. He was beginning to have misgivings, but he shoved them aside, or tried to. “They are not like the Parents,” he muttered to himself as he descended. “They don’t even like the Parents. I don’t look like a Container. They won’t suspect me.” But it didn’t work very well.
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in May 31st, 2007 @ 22:02The elevator opened. Ian cautiosly stepped out into the dimly lit tunnel. The fact that it twisted and turned didn’t help. He was getting a bad case of the heebie-jeebies.
“They are not the Parents,” he said to himself again. “And they have a Terran habitat. That I really want to see.” That helped a little bit. He started to walk through the tunnel.
Suddenly he ran back to the elevator in fright when a sudden flash of light lit up the tunnel. Then he remembered Kari’s words: “When you get toward the end of the tunnel, a light will come on. Then there’s a sign, and beyond that is a door. Ignore the sign, and go straight to the door.”
Ian ran back through the now-bright tunnel. Now that he could see fairly far in front of him, he wasn’t as afraid. He went up to the door and opened it eagerly. Then he looked through the door.
He trembled with excitement. This was what Terra was like in it’s golden days! It was so different from what he had imagined, and yet so much better than he expected!
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in June 1st, 2007 @ 17:29Last night I had a really weird dream! I dreamed I was looking at a timeline of events that would happen in the next 100 years. I remember a few of the entries on the timeline, though I’m sure there were a lot more:
2042 – World War 3.
2071 – Some guy who plays ping-pong moves to Mars.
2089 – World population becomes so big that when everybody stands up they cover the entire earth’s surface.
2100 – Every living thing on earth except humans has become extinct. Earth is nothing but a globe of grey dirt with humans standing on it. (That freaked me out.)I remember thinking, “Oh woe is me that I will have to live in a world like this!” And then I woke up in a fright.
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in June 1st, 2007 @ 17:32253-I hate wb….
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in June 1st, 2007 @ 18:24257 – I agree. If we ever get this made into a movie, let’s make sure it’s not done by Warners Brothers.
Okay, sorry. That was a joke.
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in June 1st, 2007 @ 18:25256- That’s scary . . . And I would imagine fairly accurate, or at least the last one. But not necessarily constrained by the timeline.
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in June 1st, 2007 @ 18:30258- It would make a good movie, as certain people have said before. But not one by Warner Brothers, I don’t think.
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in June 1st, 2007 @ 18:38I suspect that dream was inspired by this story.
When I was looking at the timeline in my dream, for breif moments I was watching each event take place. It was pretty weird with that guy on Mars…it was really cold, and he was floating in the air playing ping-pong on Mars. Dreams are freakily weird!
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in June 1st, 2007 @ 19:00WOW. Go to wikipedia, and type in “terraforming”. Also try “terraforming of Mars”, “terraforming of Venus”, etc.
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in June 1st, 2007 @ 19:29The elevator stopped, and the door slid open. Ian was awestruck at the sight. He had no idea that so much beauty still existed in the solar system.
Suddenly, a small, dark-haired boy leaped up from behind a shrub. “Outsider!” he yelled, and began to run down the slope.
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in June 1st, 2007 @ 19:58Uh-oh, thought Ian, and wished that Kari and Jaa had come with him. Or at least, he wished that until he remembered that them being there would only make it worse.
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in June 1st, 2007 @ 20:29263 – That’s a little inconsistent with 255. Perhaps we should delete the first two sentences?
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in June 1st, 2007 @ 20:41265- That’s what I thought.
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in June 2nd, 2007 @ 15:29265- You’re right, I didn’t look too closely at 255. But if we delete the first 2 sentences, it works.
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in June 2nd, 2007 @ 21:41267 – Okay then.
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Lord Ragevuire the Shadow Mage, Arch Deathseeker, and leader of the Kraliocc
in June 3rd, 2007 @ 13:29((This is later, er, NC from P264. ie Not continued from post 264))
“No,” he said loudly,”I’m not fom the Parents, and niether are my freinds….We despise them; they tried to destroy my home to create a new Terra….Actually, I’m just here to see the habitat.
“And to tell you about whats happened to us.
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in June 3rd, 2007 @ 13:32262-Cooooooooooooool…. *drools*
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in June 4th, 2007 @ 17:52“Wait, come back!” said Ian, chasing the small boy through the brush. The boy, used to running through dense jungle, quickly got out of Ian’s sight.
Ian looked around. Terra must’ve been a very strange place. Were these “trees”, or some sort of pillar? Were these green flat things good to eat? What was this brown stuff on the ground? Was it good to eat too? Ian tasted some. “AAAG” he gagged, spitting it out. The flavor of this stuff was vile.
He looked around, and spied a few red balls hanging from a “tree”. He reached up to grab one, and it felt suprisingly soft. He took a bite. It tasted really good! He ate it with gusto, and picked another, and was about to eat it too when a voice called out, “STOP!”
Ian turned. A man in a white coat like the one Kari had described was standing about 50 feet away, with the small boy beside him. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING EATING OUR PEACHES?” Ian turned pale. “ARE YOU FROM THE PARENTS?” the man questioned.
Ian found the strength to speak up. “No,” he said loudly, “I’m not fom the Parents, and neither are my friends….We despise them, they tried to destroy my home to create a new Terra…”
The man lowered his tone of voice, and walked closer. “Who are your friends?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Note: Part of LR’s post has been inserted into this segment.
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in June 4th, 2007 @ 18:16“Um . . .” faltered Ian. “There names are Kari and Jaa. You’ve met Kari. But she’s not a Container! I mean, she is a Container, but she’s a renegade!” The man watched stonily as Ian tried to explain.
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in June 5th, 2007 @ 17:24Grrr! I want to write, I really do!
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in June 6th, 2007 @ 15:54Meh. I hate writer’s block.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I mean, me and my friends have rebelled from the Parents, and we’ve destroyed them, and now we want to help you….uh….yea.”
“Can you prove this?” the man asked.
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in June 6th, 2007 @ 16:23“Shouldn’t the fact that they aren’t around anymore be proof enough?” came a clear voice from the door. It was Kari, and with her was Jaa. “We got sick of waiting,” said Kari. “And besides, Terra isn’t exactly a sight for sore eyes.”
Jaa said nothing at all. He was looking around him, his eyes wide with wonder and memory.
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in June 6th, 2007 @ 22:58He didn’t have the same experience Ian had when he came in. To Ian, everything was new, mysterious, and unknown. To Jaa, it brought back a flood of memories from his earlier days. There’s a tree! he thought. I used to climb those!
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in June 6th, 2007 @ 23:02“What difference does it make if they haven’t shown up for a few cycles?” barked the man. Jaa snapped out of his [grrr…spaceout on words…]
“You mean they don’t bother you anymore?” Kari asked.
“What do you mean?” said the man. “They’ve been trying to sneak spies in here to find out what we’ve been doing for the past 200 cycles! They keep sending them every few cycles, so I see no reason why you shouldn’t be more spies trying to fool me!”
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in June 6th, 2007 @ 23:27277- The word would be “reverie.” It does not have 13 letters. (Sorry, I’m reading The Secret Hour, and I’ve been looking for trid-whatsits everywhere.)
~~~~~~~~
“Look at Ian,” sighed Kari in exasperation. “Does he look like a Container?”
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in June 6th, 2007 @ 23:46278 – Okay, thanks. I momentarily forgot that word.
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in June 7th, 2007 @ 17:35For once, the man didn’t have a comeback.
~~~~~~~~~~
Where is everybody? Besides Alice, I mean.
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in June 7th, 2007 @ 17:39280- Besides us, who is there? Lord Ragevuire and PC. PC is around, I imagine he just has writer’s block or something. LR hasn’t been around a lot.
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in June 7th, 2007 @ 17:50LR hasn’t written since June 3, and PC hasn’t written for 1 week. It’s unusual that both of them have been gone for so long.
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in June 7th, 2007 @ 17:54We’re almost to Part 4! If this is at the top of the main page, then maybe they’ll see it and come back! Gottapostgottapostgottapost
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“All right,” he finally said. “Come with me,”
“Thank you,” said Jaa, remembering Terran manners.
“You’re welcome,” the man replied gruffly.
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in June 7th, 2007 @ 17:59They began walking through what seemed to be somewhere between a forest and a jungle. “Be careful not to step on the pitcher plants,” the man said, pointing toward the ground right in front of Ian. What was there looked like a small jar with a spiky lid.
“Thank you,” said Ian, copying Jaa. “I might’ve gotten hurt.”
“What’s that got to do with it?” the man said, carefully stepping over a small shrub. “The pitcher plant is one of the rarest plants we have around here, and it wouldn’t be a nice place around here if the two we have left are trampled on!”
“What’s a plant?” Ian asked suddenly.
“You should probably keep quiet,” whispered Kari. “This person doesn’t seem to be in a good mood.”
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in June 7th, 2007 @ 18:15But at that strange (thought to Ian it was quite normal) question, the man laughed out loud. “You really aren’t from the Parents, then. A plant is anything that grows in the dirt and has roots.”
“Oh,” said Ian, feeling foolish and knowledgeable at the same time. “A tree has roots.”
“Yes, a tree is a very large plant.”
“Wow,” said Ian, lost for words.
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in June 7th, 2007 @ 18:26Kari looked back. Ian was still staring at a tree. “Come on, hurry up,” she said. “You don’t want to get left behind!”
“I’m coming,” Ian said.
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Lord Ragevuire the Shadow Mage, Arch Deathseeker, and leader of the Kraliocc
in June 7th, 2007 @ 20:59282-I’m not gone, I just always get on late in the day, and I have supreme writers block. I’m not very good at writing science fiction.
I am going to start writing a history of World War Last….But I can’t think of a good enterance….
____________
There in front of them was a large….Aw, never mind….ggggggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrr mustpostmustpostmustpost….
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in June 7th, 2007 @ 21:55287 – A good enterance? To what?
I am compiling a timeline of all the events in Terraformed. I have currently set the date of World War Last to be 2042, but I need to check the year Jaa was born, and then I will be able to plant a date.
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in June 7th, 2007 @ 22:04Hmmm. Jaa was born January 8, 2037.
Here is what Jaa has to say about his experience with WWL: “I was lucky. We lived south of the equator. When the first nukes fell, it was in the northern hemisphere. I think America and some country in western Asia were the first to go at it- Or was it China? Russia? I really don’t know, I was little back then. Anyway, when the South American countries finally got involved- my home was neutral until almost the very end- the evacuation ships were ready, and my family boarded them as soon as possible. We got off before everything started falling apart. I hear the last days were really horrible- people starving, dying of radiation sickness, killing each other for the last drop of water.”
I think 2042 will work, but segment 1.45 (that’s Part 1, subsection 45) plots 2043 as the first trip to Mars. Though I had imagined some dramatic NASA space exploration, I think this date will be very appropriate. After the Great Evacuation (2042-2043), people will have a desprate need for somewhere to stay, so Mars would be the perfect destination.
Sorry for being so thourough, but this is the only rrr I’m working on so I’m really getting deep into it.
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in June 7th, 2007 @ 22:52289- I’m glad you’re being thorough. It’s necessary to make this a good story. I meant to do the times and stuff when I edited, but never got around to it.
About Mars. We should actually change it to something earlier, because it said “after WWL it had been abandoned, as there was very little-” Wait, that’s Luna.
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in June 7th, 2007 @ 22:57Luna was colonized in “2041, but after World War Last it had been abandoned, as there was very little atmosphere.”
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in June 7th, 2007 @ 23:06(very) rough draft of the timeline:
TIMELINE OF KNOWN EVENTS IN TERRAFORMED
Jan 08, 2037 Jaa born in South America.
2041 First Moon Colony established.
2042 World War Last.
2043 First human journey to Mars.
2099 MarsGarden discovered.
Jan 27, 2104 Kari born on Mars.
2106 Kerj born.
2174 Ian born on Ceres.
Aug 08, 2187 Ian and Kari meet at Ceres’ library.
Aug 09, 2187 Kari is captured by the Parents for the 6th time.
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in June 7th, 2007 @ 23:56292- You forgot:
2008 J telescope replaces Hubble Space telescope.
2032 Scientist Stephen Hawkins goes forward in time.
2043 PTHs created.
2180 Ian’s parents are killed by a stowaway in search of peace.That third one was complete speculation, but it did say that they were put together during the Great Evacuation.
Sometime before WWL Betwers are created, and lots of other stuff happens. We should set a time when the Preservers started, and another time for when the Parents broke off. How about 2046 for the first, and 2051 for the second? That’s almost completely random, but not quite. Could put the ping-pong player from your dream in here too?
That would be cool.
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Alice
in June 8th, 2007 @ 00:02If we do that, the timeline goes like this:
2008 J telescope replaces Hubble Space telescope.
2032 Scientist Stephen Hawkins goes forward in time.
Jan 08, 2037 Jaa born in South America.
2041 First Moon Colony established.
2042 World War Last.
2043 First human journey to Mars.
2043 PTHs created.
2046 Preservers set up a replica of Terra under Antartica.
2051 Parents break off and begin planning project Neoterra.
2099 MarsGarden discovered.
Jan 27, 2104 Kari born on Mars.
2106 Kerj born.
2174 Ian born on Ceres.
2180 Ian’s parents are killed by a stowaway in search of peace.
Aug 08, 2187 Ian and Kari meet at Ceres’ library.
Aug 10, 2187 Kari is captured by the Parents for the 6th time.I corrected the date of Kari’s capture.
If we want to go really deep into the story, what were Kari and Kerj’s names before the became Containers?
And how do you pronounce Kari? Like Carrie, or like Kah-ree?
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E2MB
in June 8th, 2007 @ 12:59I’ve always thought of it as Kah-ree.
Um….I seem to remember that the time-traveling thing was a big hoax that the Parents used to capture Kari and Ian. The other dates look good.
Our stories will start looking a bit odd it 30 or 40 years unless we are correct.
Now, back onto the story.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“We grow all our own food here,” said the man as they walked out of the jungle-forest and into the feilds of Terran crops. “We try to make our lives here as much like it was on Terra 200 years ago as possible.”
“What are those?” said Ian, pointing to a few bushes. He was still curious.
“Those are plants that produce raspberries,” said the man.
“Can I try one?” said Ian. Everything appeared to be edible, but these looked like they had a nice flavor, as opposed to the brown stuff on the ground.
“I do not suggest you eat their raspberries,” the man told Ian. “They are still green. See?”
Ian did not look to see, as he was already running toward the next group of plants.
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Alice
in June 8th, 2007 @ 13:15295- Oh yeah. I forgot it was a hoax.
~~~~~
“What about this?” he asked, indicating a plant with roughly triangular leaves. The man smiled.
“Potatoes,” he said. “You can’t eat the leaves, only the roots.”
“Oh,” said Ian, wrinkling his brow.
Kari grinned at Jaa. “He’s like a child in a candy shop,” she whispered.
“A candy shop full of rare and flavorful candies,” returned Jaa.
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Prarilius Canix
in June 8th, 2007 @ 13:48Kari figured it was time she got some answers. “Why do the Parents hate you so much?” she asked.
The man sighed. “At the beginning of World War Last, we were all just peaceful scientists trying to preserve our home. That’s why we called ourselves the Preservers. But after we went underground, a man called Sebastian Kahn proposed a radical plan to create a new Terra. We were excited at first, but soon we realized that it would entail the destruction of all life on Mars and several asteroids.”
“This sounds very familiar,” whispered Ian to Jaa.
“We flat-out refused. More than that, since Kahn had violated one of the basic tenets of our society- preservation of life- we expelled him. He took a group of fanatical followers and left.
The society he founded is still around today- or would be, if you hadn’t blown up their headquarters recently.”
“Good Lord,” Jaa gasped. “The Parents? Then Sebastian Kahn-”
“Was the High Patrician, yes.”
(Note- the High Patrician is still alive, as is evident from the end of the Callisto section of Terraformed.)
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Alice
in June 8th, 2007 @ 14:58Donaldo the SAN just posted this link on the FoS thread.
http://www.randomhouse.com/kids/writingcontests/#youngadult
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Prarilius Canix
in June 8th, 2007 @ 15:41298- @%!#&$ and various other deleted expletives. It says the novel has to be in a “contemporary setting.” 182 years in the future isn’t exactly “contemporary.” We’re not eligible.
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Alice
in June 8th, 2007 @ 15:53299- Drat! How could you even get more contemporary that 182 years in the future? I mean, doesn’t contemporary mean something like, “modern”? Or does it mean, “current”? Argh!
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Alice
in June 8th, 2007 @ 15:57It means both, but not 2087. Sigh.
Oh, and it’s actually only 180 years in the future.
New thread?
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