Kokopelli for President, v. 2007.2
Now more than ever.
Continued from v. 2007.1.
Date: June 1, 2007
Categories: Fan Page / MuseBlog business, Nonrandom Craziness, The magazine
Tuesday, 7 May 2024
Life, the universe, pies, hot-pink bunnies, world domination, and everything
Now more than ever.
Continued from v. 2007.1.
Date: June 1, 2007
Categories: Fan Page / MuseBlog business, Nonrandom Craziness, The magazine
He is a Demokokopeblican, in case anyone asks.
Demokokopublican, that is. Or at least, he was last time. Maybe this time he’ll run as a Kokocratican or a Republikokocrat.
Oh, thanks, GAPAs! I think we should put one of the GAPAs in the position of president, since we could then use them to take over the world.
This is not an original plan, but one recycled many times from the old thread.
Which GAPA is willing to run for president? Or all? Or any?
Or maybe he’ll just skip running for president and run for Lord of the pies.
2 – Or Kokopublicrat, or Demorebublikoko, or Republidemokoko!
(4) That has got to be the title of Larry Gonick’s next Muse book. Or a brilliant piece of Muse fanfiction based on a book that everybody in America has to read in high school.
(3) I nominate Rosanne. She’s the sweetest and funniest of us.
My sister says Demokokoican.
I say . . . erm . . . Kokolicrat. Not as good as the others, but something.
Someone should ask Larry Gonick. He enjoys hearing from Musers. You can reach him on his Web site, www. larrygonick. com .
I just wrote to him, asking which political party Koko was a part of, and listing all the ones we have mentioned on this thread.
Alkokolic.
I have been wearing my Koko for president button from the Musery store just about every day. Please people go to the Musery store!!!
Red-tailed HAWK
I’ll totally write the Lord of the Pies fanfiction. Being obsessed with LOTR and all. I guess we’ll have to call it LOTP from now on!
*splat*
I think when the plan to have a GAPA as president first came up (I’m pretty sure it was my idea, btw) Rosanne and Lady Bunniful both agreed to do it, so we could have one as president and one as vice. Of course, it was also agreed that they would be complete puppets and MBers would realy be in charge. I think this is a better, and vaguely more realistic plan than koko for president.
(12) What I had in mind was a “Lord of the Flies” parody. Larry G. has already done an incomparable “Lord of the Rings” sendup in the November/December 2003 issue, starting with “Kokopell & Company” and continuing throughout the whole magazine.
A LOTF parody would be froody!
(14) – Oh that’s right…I forgot! But I’ve read LOTF too, so I could do that. And, that makes so much more sense because Flies *rhymes* with Pies. I’m smart… *pies self*
I’d say LOTF is a book in desperate need of a parody.
In fact, maybe someone should create Muse parodies of all those standard-issue horrors foisted on generations of middle- and high-school English students: The Pearl, “The Lady or the Tiger?” “The Monkey’s Paw,” &c. Now that would be a public service.
I hated LOTF.. It was kind of interesting to read but really icky at the same time..
(17) Brilliant idea! Are they still making kids read “The Monkey’s Paw”? I know somebody on the blog mentioned “The Lady or the Tiger?” last year. Unbelievable that they’re still peddling that old rubbish. It’s probably because the writers are dead and the copyrights expired, so reprints are cheap. (That’s how publishers think, Musers — really!)
There’s another plank for the Demokokopublican* party platform: all such drivel will be summarily removed from textbooks and replaced with decent literature.
*or whatever
I say he’s affiliated with the Museicians…as we all are…members of the Museician party.
10-Hey, that’s not nice…Kokopelli’s never drunk…just a little crazy…but that’s what makes him so darn irresistible!!!
20-Such as?
21 – Attack of the Smart Pies, back issues of Muse…..
17- How about The Way to the Western Sea? It’s interesting, but sooo sloooow. And at one point I considered re-writing it so that they met goblin kings and dragons every other page, so I could easily change that to the Muses.
13- Yeah, which is why I attempted to revive it. Or should I say, have revived it, by asking for a new thread.
19- Yes. We still have to read The Monkey’s Paw. Urg.
20-YES.
This would be a very interesting project. If I had any copies of the book on hand I’d write one to liven it up. As long as the copyrights have expired no one could stop us. And I doubt if they could anyway as long as we don’t publish them. Yet.
I definatly vote we remove all of those ‘moral’ stories from books. Idiotic, and it doesn’t teach us anything.
24- Ha! Yes! *runs off to find a story that could be classified as “drivel”*
Unfortunately, I don’t think we keep that kind of book, so we don’t have any.
(24) Even if it hasn’t expired, parody of copyrighted material can be allowed under the “commentary” provision of “fair use.”
26 – Well I doubt “Epic Movie” did a good job of that.
Do a rewrite of all the textbooks in our schools so that it had little muses commenting on the side of the page! It would be so much more fun to study!
17- I volunteer to do a fanfic of The Pearl. Now, while I still have the English textbook. I hated The Pearl. This should be fun.
28-of course!
I am wearing my Koko_4 PREZ button.
(13, 23) Yes, as I mentioned before, a puppet regime is really all I’m cut out for, anyway. (It should also be noted this plan is definitely preferred to the plot involving the blender.)
(19) Plus they’ve already worked out all the study questions. Kokopelli forbid, they might come up with something new.
(25) Lucky you! A drivel-free environment. Some of the above-mentioned tales are lurking around the internet. Last year Sweet Melpomene provided an address for “The Monkey’s Paw.” gaslight. mtroyal.ab.ca/mnkyspaw. htm
If there were any justice, Googling “literary drivel” would bring up a list.
(29) Yay! Operation Muses Against Drivel begins (suggestions for a better name are welcome).
31- Argh, I don’t want to read that. What’s it about? And I sincerely hope you don’t count Treasure Island as drivel, because if you do I shall have to rebel. Kidnapped, too. I don’t care what you think of Catriona/David Balfour, because I have never read it.
(32) No need to worry. Stevenson is teh pwnage.
Arr, pirates are metal. Drink beer and blast Running Wild all day long!
33- Great! Maybe I should make a TI/Muse cross. *heads to the Muse Fanfiction thread*
The Pearl isn’t in this literature book. It’s in the old one, at school. So, much as I want to, I can’t do anything with it. I might be able to take it out of the library over the summer, but I won’t have much time then, so it won’t get done until August. Is there someone else who’s reading The Pearl in school?
Koko-A Pie in every face!
Pwt-Pwn Pwns!
Bo-We ruuuuule. And that’s a fact.
Aeiou- *cheers, dances*
Chad-Be smart. Like Me. Vote for Koko. Yeah.
Craaw- I bet ya didn’t know that we gonna give you mo cuz you spent a lot of dough votin for Koko-SPLAT!!!
Urania-Our goal is to reach for the stars!
Mimi-We’re so nice, if you vote for us, we’ll-SPLAT!!!
Feather-Vote for… Oh! Hi Mom! I’m on MuseBlog!
Hot Pink Bunnies-Resistance is museless.
Playboy Bunny-Hug Me!!
Beavo-Yeah. What they said.
17-Hey, what’s wrong with LOTF? It could be greatly improved by a parody, but so could everything.
So, is one muser going to write Lord of the Pies, or should it be a joint effort among all musers who know LOTF who want to?
17: Definitely! I haven’t read The Pearl, but might I add to the list:
The Scarlet Letter
Brave New World
My Antonia (Someone please tell me why this is even considered a novel.)
Grapes of Wrath (All right, all right, so it’s historical and contains about a bajillion symbols. I still thought it was a miserable bore.)
Fahrenheit 451
“The Minister’s Black Veil” (I think out of all these this is the best candidate for the funniest parody of any kind, not just Muse. The premise is ridiculous. And to think I chose this story to do 6-page literary criticism on because there’s an abundance of scholarly papers on it.)
19: Yes, I’ve had to read both of those.
37: Since when is Crraw a gangsta? The other Muses are funny.
37-LOL!!! That’s great!
HOLY HECK.
GO TO WIKIPEDIA AND READ THE FIRST FEW PARAGRAPHS OF THE ARTICLE ON KOKOPELLI!!!
41-umm yeah. unless it was different tow hours ago, or whenever you posted that, i know about kokopelli. and i think most people on this blog do too. i mean, personally i look everything up on wikipedia.
17-yes… i agree. somehow i cant imagine a parody. perhaps play off the errors? “and piggy reluctantly gave them hnis glasses to light a fire. unfortunately, it didnt work, because he was near sighted. instead, it simply ruined his glasses. poor piggy” ?
oh no!!! triple post… oops. *is very sorry*
34- lol. i am probably the only person in the world who realizes what you are talking about. i was on a metal forum, and most people didnt know pirate metal existed. i like running wild.
We should have a thead for a LOTF RRR. Because that would be fun
45-LOTP, you mean? And if so, yes! I’ve never managed to stay in an RRR for very long before, but hopefully I will this time….
So, Lord of the Pies RRR please?
I havent read lord of the flies(havent read lord of the rings eather but seen movies)
41-Ew…that’s gross…I knew he had something to do with that, but not, that much!
41-Umm…..ok. Well, our kokopelli is different. I hope.
39-Because “gagsta”s can’t rhyme.
41-That was disgusting. Our Kokopelli is hopfully a bit…. cleaner…. but yuck.
Koko for president if i get the leftover pies
51-Hey, are you new?
*pies just in case*
New Interview with Muses:
Kokopelli: We will, we will PIE YOU!
Pwt: Don’t be a birdbrian, vote for us!
Bo: The fact is, Koko ruuuules!
Aeiou: *waves hands in air*
Chad: Koko can fix all your problems. And I can fix anything else.
Craaw-Don’t trust Pwt. Just don’t.
Urania-The ends of the musiverse is our limit!!
Mimi-We’re the bes….I mean you’re the best!!!
Feather: Ummm… actually, I think Koko would not be-SPLAT!!!
Hot Pink Bunnies: You know it.
Playboy Bunny: Sugarrrrrrrr!
FSM: SPLAT!!!!!!
Mr. Green: *looks very innocent*
Avenger Toad: Don’t make me come back down there!!
Devil (Koko’s Dog): Ruff ruff, growll, *pies*
I will soon post the relative merits of the Muses for presidents.
(I know that some of them weren’t born in America, but if your parents were, you can become president anyway, and Larry Gonick is sort of like the Muses’ parent. I borrowed this reasoning from another MBer, but I can’t recall the name, so please step forward for credit.)
I have had my button on all day!
And I have also been wearing my koko for president button a lot!
The HAWK
I will give the Muses points for their attributes and how they will help them in the White House. +1 equals good, 0 equals neutral, -1 equals bad. The maximum is 4 points.
Kokopelli. Total=0.
Muse of Tunes and Tricks. Not particularly helpful in the Oval Office. 0.
Likes a good laugh. Could loosen up our government some. Heaven knows, it needs it. +1.
Dislikes people with no sense of humor. Bad. He would pie half the cabinet in five seconds. -1.
In his spare time he makes life interesting for his friends. Kind of neutral. 0.
Bo. Total=-1.
Muse of Factoids. Could be useful to a President. +1.
Likes chewing and staring into space. Not the best public image. -1.
Dislikes arithmetic. Since when does the president have to do arithmetic? 0.
In her spare time she chews and stares into space. All her time is spare time. She won’t have much spare time as President, so she could get irritable. -1.
Crraw. Total=3.
Muse of bad poetry. Heck, most presidential campaign speeches are bad poetry. +1
Likes the sound of his own voice. At last, a president who won’t fall asleep during his speech. +1.
Dislikes Pwt. As long as she isn’t on the cabinet, this will be fine. 0.
In his spare time he composes lyrics. He’ll write his own speeches. +1.
Chad. Total=2.
Muse of Hardware. Not much of that as President. 0.
Likes messing around with equipment. He won’t get much of a chance at that in the White House. Not good. 0.
Dislikes missing spare parts. The government has too many spare parts if you ask me. +1.
In his spare time he builds proton accelerators. The Presidency could use a genius. +1.
Urania. Total=2.
Muse of astronomy. She could do wonders for the space program. +1.
Likes ideas, the crazier the better. Most presidents come up with crazy ideas. +1.
Dislikes inconvenient facts. Our economy is one big inconvenient fact. Not good. -1.
In her spare time she does math problems. She could work out the probability of new laws being beneficial. +1.
Pwt. Total=1.
Muse of Animals. That isn’t very relevant in the Oval Office. 0.
Likes outsmarting birds. Bad news for the air force. -1.
Dislikes dishonest people. Good. Less leaks in secrecy. +1.
Worries about everything. The president has to do that anyway. +1.
Aeiou. Total=4.
Muse of Software. Our country is very technological- that will help. +1.
Likes proper arrangements. Very practical for a President. +1.
Dislikes disorder. Ditto. +1.
In her spare time, makes lists. Ditto-ditto. +1.
Feather. Total=-1.
Muse of Plants. Neutral. 0.
Likes watching seeds grow. He’ll be bored in the White House. -1.
Dislikes crows. Neutral. 0.
No spare time. Won’t make much difference. 0.
Mimi. Total= 2.
Muse of Getting Along With People. Very good with diplomacy. +1.
Likes giving presents. Good. +1.
Dislikes inconsiderate/ungrateful/impolite people. She’d clean up our cabinet. +1.
In spare time, hangs out with friends, shops and talks on the phone. Bad. -1.
Aeiou is the obvious candidate for president, and Crraw is a close second. Plus, he can understand what Aeiou is saying.
I have made the decision to support the Aeipublicrrawt party.
Prarilius Canix has sent us a poster for the Aeipublicrrawt candidates.
I’ll vote! Unfortunately I’m only thirteen, and even though I’ll be fifteen when it’s time to vote, that’s still too young. Humph.
That is a really nice poster, PC.
I saw this guy on a sidwalk with a crazy colored towel two days ago or something like that. Guess what shirt he was wearing? I couldn’t see clearly, I was on a bus, but it looked pink and pointy….
58- Well, we could have an election among just MBers to decide which candidates we support- Aeiou and Crraw, or Kokopelli and whatever running mate he chooses.
I have an idea! The GAPAs put up a thread somewhat like:
“MUSE ELECTIONS
Will it be the Aeipublicrrawt (Aeiou and Crraw) or Demokokopublican (Kokopelli and _______) candidates? Any MuseBlogger can register to vote by posting their name on this thread. And when July 2[ or some other convenient date- this italicized portion is not part of the text] rolls around, the election will begin!”
If a few other people agree with this idea, will the Admins. do us all a favor and put up the thread? Please.
On a completely unrelated subject, maybe we should make GAPA appreciation day monthly. [/shameless_bribing]
Well, Prarilius Canix (60), seems like a good idea to me. Let’s see what others think.
Strange, in your last post it looks like you forgot to mention the virtual chocolate you’re sending the GAPAs … “just because.”
60- Yes, let’s! Please, GAPAs?
Takes out virtual chocolate and begins eating it. “Oh yes, there’s LOTS MORE where that came from!”
Just on the subject of bribes.
I like the idea! But maybe the election should be a month long, or something, because since it’s the summer, many people are going away for vacation, and many not be able to come to the blog every day.
Shouldn’t all the muses run? I think that would be more fun than just a few…and we could have “issues” that they could take sides on, just like the real elections. Maybe the election can be held in August, or July, and until then we’ll be putting together the muse’s platforms. August makes more sense, because then we’d have more time.
But I think it’s a GREAT idea!!!
Yes, yes. I have a large virtual tub of ice cream made from the finest Brazilian sugarcane and luscious cream from the healthiest and best-fed of cows, flavored with decadent Belgian chocolate chips and ultra-fresh mint from the fields of New South Wales- all in all, the best virtual mint chocolate chip ice cream ever produced.
*looks meaningfully in the direction of Rebecca Lasley*
63- All right. Sounds good. If I’m correct, I’ll soon have Lady Bunniful’s support.
I agree with purple panda! What about Urania and Bo, or Bo and feather?
63- That would be awesome! Cherry Pie v. Apple pie? Who will they support and could it jeopardize their chances for presidency?
I know! How about each set of candidates gets a thread (Kokopelli for President, Aeiou for President, etc.). Now, since some Muses will be running for vice president, they wouldn’t get threads all to themselves. So we can’t just give each Muse a thread now. Let’s say each party has to choose a candidate and running mate before getting a thread.
Now, on these threads, supporters of the candidates would discuss what Purple Panda suggested- platforms, positions on issues and that sort of thing. We’ve already got Kokopelli, and Aeiou would come up next, and then the rest. In the meantime, MuseBloggers who wanted to vote would register on the Muse Elections thread.
Then, once all the candidates have their platforms sorted out, we could set a deadline for the registration, and on that deadline, we would begin voting.
How does that sound?
I don’t know about Lady Bunniful, but that mint chocolate chip ice cream from PraCan has me sold on the idea.
PraCan – that sounds good, but that might be too many threads, and I don’t want MuseBlog to get cluttered. Maybe we should have just one thread for discussing platforms and such, and we won’t make that thread until we have decided all of the candidates and such. Then we could have a separate thread for the election, when the time comes. So, basically, everything you said, except one thread for everything. Does that sound okay? GAPAs? (but we need to figure out the candidates before making the thread).
Here are some ideas, just to get our minds started. I just threw it together, and we can make as many modifications as necessary. (As in, put certain candidates with others, etc.). The first name is the president, the second is their vice.
Aeiou
Crraw
Bo
Chad
Urania
Mimi
Pwt
Feather
Kokopelli
….Since there is an odd number of Muses, I left Kokopelli by himself. We can change that, of course, but I thought he would love to stand alone, and could “never die,” so he wouldn’t need a vice. What does everyone think?
I like Purple Panda’s “two-thread” solution too. It would keep campaign clutter in check — at least somewhat. Others’ thoughts?
69- I like the pairing. Should we do real issus or just pies, and ook preferences and such? Here could be some silly issues:
Hp or LS?
Cherry pie or apple pie?
Watership down haters or lovers?
pro. pie wars or peace for all?
Kokopelli has made it clear that he won’t run with anyone else. He wants to be both President and Vice-President.
He and Crraw clarified that and several other important points (including Koko’s campaign slogan) on last summer’s “Kokopelli for President” thread.
72- Isn’t that illegal? Who would replace him if he dies?
And I like the 2-thread idea too. The pairings in 69 seem reasonable to me. GAPAs?
72 – Interesting. I’m going to try to make my name bold……
Weird. I can’t see my post at all. Usually I see it sitting there at the bottom of the thread, with the words “your comment is awaiting moderation” on top of it.
(73) He’s immortal. He’s also (as I’m sure he’d be the first to tell you) irreplaceable, as well as quite adamant about not sharing the spotlight.
As for the two-thread idea, I’ll let Rosanne handle that. She’s the one wolfing down virtual mint-chocolate-chip ice cream.
73 – Then the speaker of the house would replace him.
Yeah! I like it!
My comment won’t get moderated for hours yet, but I can still post this late.
So here’s a campaign verse for Crraw:
No plans! To run!
It’s time to have some fun!
To run! No plans!
We all are Koko fans!
…And don’t forget the Muse/Kokopelli hand sign…
(three fingers up, three sideways. Maybe that should be the official Muser greeting signal (whenever pies aren’t available).)
71 (biblio) – great platform ideas! We need to decide everyone’s positions on these issues.
71- What’s LS?
80 – Laser Scanner.
Interesting. I woke up this morning to a vat full of the best virtual mint chocolate chip ice cream I’ve ever tasted. The mint tastes exceptionally fresh — I could swear I was walking through a field in New South Wales. Who could have known that was my favorite flavor?
One odd thing. The chocolate bits spelled out “Aeiou for President.” Could that be significant?
82- Muhuhuhahahahahaha…
79- Thanks. I like the sign idea too. Hmmmm…… This is just a sketch but,
Kokopelli is for Pie wars, neutral on the pie flavor,dislikes wd (too many bunnies. We have enough of those already.) , and likes LS, (that Count’s got some seriously brilliant ideas..)
82- Yummy!!!!!!
Urania
Mimi
Hp or LS? No clue. I take it that Hp doesn’t stand for Harry Potter.
Cherry pie or apple pie? Neutral, I should think. Correct me if I’m wrong.
Watership down haters or lovers? I’m sure Mimi would prefer to go with the latter. I really don’t know about Urania.
pro. pie wars or peace for all? Peace, obviously.
Aeiou
Crraw
Hmm. Aeiou loves HP and LS equally, and Crraw doesn’t have a clue what they are. Neutral.
Aeiou is neutral, but Crraw’s an all-American bird, so we’re going with apple.
Since crows were portrayed in an unfavorable light in WD, and Aeiou’s neutral, we’re going with Chuck Norris. I personally like WD, but I’ll still vote Aeipublicrrawt.
Both are pro peace.
They also support putting more emphasis on computer science and poetry in schools. The Aeipublicrrawt ticket is environmentalist- Crraw has pledged to set aside a large portion of the Florida Wetlands as a national park, and Aeiou will diligently search for a solution to the problem of e-waste.
ISSUES
-Hp or LS? [[ I have no idea what these are, so someone else is going to have to divide them, etc.]]
-Cherry pie or apple pie?
-Watership down haters or lovers?
-pro. pie wars or peace for all?
-Mac or PC?
-Umbrella or Raincoat?
Aeiou
Crraw
-Cherry
-Haters
-Pies
-Mac
-Umbrella
Bo
Chad
-Apple
-Lovers
-Pies
-PC
-Raincoat
Urania
Mimi
-Neutral
-Lovers
-Peace
-Mac
-Umbrella
Pwt
Feather
-Cherry
-Haters
-Peace
-PC
-Umbrella
Kokopelli
-Neutral
-Hater. PIE ALL BOOKS!
-Pies PIES!!!
-Computers? Who cares!?!? PIE!!!!
-Raincoat
—Here are some issues divided up and such. We can change them, obviously, but I added other people’s questions and ideas.—
86 (PraCan) – I must have posted mine before your post was moderated (and therefore, didn’t see it). So just substitute your stuff into the Aeiou/Crraw space.
Wow. Everybody abandoned this thread and went to the “more hats in the ring” thread.
Kokopelli is on his own, it seems. Somehow I don’t think that will bother him at all. He won’t even notice.
How? If he was president, wouldn’t he demand a 100% approval rate?
I like the idea of kokopelli for president. Think about it! If we didn’t like someone, “splat!” a pie’s in their face.
Yes, it’s Shadowfire again. Just wanted to post my approval. Hi everyone!
I believe that a leader should be honest judjing and able to know what kind of pie goes to what kind of person in other words the the muses should elect kokopelli also how can aeiou be president or vice president if she can’t even speak english and craww is away to much of a bird brain
Hi! It’s shadowfire again. Please, no more pies???
Koko for president (again), by the way
Yeah, vote Koko in ’08!
Happy birthday Cat’s Meow!!!!
By the way, I’m a fairly new Muser, why can’t Aeiou talk?