513 thoughts on “What I Learned Today, 2011.1”

          1. *More awesome. Today I learned that no metter how hard you try, there is no way to change your comment after pressing submit when you’re not a GAPA. Because I definitely made that mistake on purpose just to learn this.

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            1. Wait, never mind. Cat’s Eye said it already, so at least there was a precedent. Sorry, but this honestly didn’t occur to me until it was too late.

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      1. That’s exactly what I thought when I read Lightning’s comment. Well, just the “I never knew that Orville Redenbacher was a real person” part.

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    1. Cool!
      …Who is he, anyway? I love sousaphones, so the more people play them the better, but I’ve never heard of this person.

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  1. Well, I don’t think I’ve learned anything today, as it’s still the morning, but yesterday I learned that students at schools in the UK involved in the Faulkes Telescope Project get to take images with professional-quality telescopes in Hawai’i and Australia over the Internet.

    And I don’t.

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    1. I know exactly how you feel. I recently (but not today) learned that students at some schools in the US (but not mine) get to be in a program searching for a certain relatively new species of tardigrade and report it to some university in Illinois that wants to know how widely distributed it is. It’s strictly a schoolswide program, though. At the moment, I’m so behind on schoolwork that I still haven’t ever looked at tardigrades under the microscope, so of course I’d be incredibly ecstatic if I was not only required to do so for school, but able to submit it to someone else who’s interested and possibly discover a hitherto unknown population.

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  2. Today I learned why boat/ship speed is measured in “knots”. Apparently, mariners had lengths of rope with knots tied every such-and-such distance apart. The rope was on a sort of spool. They’d drop the weighted end of the rope into the water, and as the spool unraveled they’d count how many knots pass by in a certain amount of time. The faster they were traveling, the faster the spool unraveled and thus the more knots passed by. Thus, knots. I don’t know why it’s taken me almost seventeen years to learn this.

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  3. The guy who invented the flush toilet was… oh, I can’t say it… *suppresed laughter at something that’s so disgusting I shouldn’t be laughing at it* oh, go look it up…

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    1. I just did, and that is hilarious, but then I went to snopes.com to check, and they said it was false. *is sad*

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      1. He’s not the inventor, but he did own the company that made and distributed toilets, and he also popularized the siphon flush system. And even though he wasn’t the inventor, it is hilarious that his last name is similar to the much older term for excrement.

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  4. You can separate the shiny stuff from the wrapper of a stick of 5 brand gum, and then stick it to flat things, like paper or your phone to make beautiful artwork.

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    1. Yup, it’s called Galle.

      And it’s probably sad that I knew about it before I’d ever heard of Watchmen.

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  5. What I’ve learned today:

    1) Nail polish has so much potential for experiments. Depending on how you treat it and how expensive it was, it can become gloopy, crumbly like blue breakfast cereal or solidify into a sort of glue.

    2) If I every create an awesome epic SciFi universe, I must never sell the rights. On the one hand, I love the Star Wars universe, on the other hand, the sheer number of paradoxes and character altercations obvious retro-inserted with no psychological or logical sense are depressing. The ideas are great, they just need to be channeled and organized better to stop them from contradicting the plot and letting characters stagnate for decades with no emotional development. And yet for some reason, I read this cake anyway.

    3) Michael Moore= fascinating.

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    1. One girl at our church almost set her hair on fire because she swung her ponytail too close to a candle by accident.

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  6. Today I learned that it is not a good idea to tilt a pan to check if the bottom is burned because it will spill all over the place. Somehow, I feel like I should have learned this already.

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        1. although, would you rather that things occasionally fall, or that hot liquids always drift out of their containers and around the room? Gravity is more useful than not.

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  7. Today I discovered that if one lives in the tropics, one should check the toaster for geckos before attempting to create a sandwich.

    And also, make sure there is not a spork on your chair before sitting down.

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    1. If you go camping in Washington (state, not DC), you have to check your engine for marmots, since they eat antifreeze.

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  8. 11.2: Really? What kind of marmots live in Washington?
    11.2.1: How is a porcupine like a gecko? I feel like I’m probably missing something obvious, as I live near many geckos and have done a plethora of research on porcupines (though not as much as on marmots).

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  9. Today I learned that it probably wasn’t worth it to walk an extra two miles to Dairy Queen after already having walked for four miles.

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  10. Teenagers become much less inhibited when away from home and in the company of other teenagers.
    Smartphones are incredibly convenient.
    I live in one of the least racially diverse areas of California.
    Katy Perry and Daft Punk are the worst musical combination ever.
    Coal is difficult to find in Minecraft.
    JP is a ladies’ man.

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  11. A bottle of caffeinated diet coke is an acceptable substitute for coffee in the morning, but it will make breakfast taste disgusting.

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  12. An 80-or-so-piece youth orchestra sight-reading their music on a Monday night sounds rather bad. I feel I should know this already.

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  13. Modern plays are equally incomprehensible in every language.

    How many juniors does it take to solve a logic puzzle?
    -One to solve it on paper
    -One to own it and know the solution and give hints
    -One to be utterly hopeless and get in the way
    -One to get in the way of the one getting in the way
    -One to get in the way of the one getting in the way of the one getting in the way
    -One to get lucky
    -One to “believe” in other solutions and argue religion vs science and logic even after being told the answer
    -One who keeps trying variations of the same experiment over and over again
    -One to give up
    -One innocent bystander trying to ignore the others

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      1. The one who did it on paper- my friend, who owned it, promised to bring it, then forgot it. So she sketched it for me instead and let everyone else try the next day. Our next experiment will be to see how long it takes a *insert subject* teacher to solve the puzzle.

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  14. If you put instant coffee powder in a cup of Diet Coke:
    -it produces a thick foam on the top of the liquid
    -the foam then partially collapses in on itself, creating an interesting crater effect
    -it tastes amazing (or disgusting, or amazingly disgusting. I loved it. My friends didn’t even bother to try it, and the one that did nearly threw up.)
    -your friends are subsequently convinced that you are completely insane.

    Also, if you put SweetTarts on cheese-and-pepperoni pizza, it tastes really good. The same goes for Nerds on pizza.

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    1. I’ve tasted Sprite with added instant lemonade. Initially, when the lemonade powder was added, it foamed up and spilled on someone’s pants, causing them great discomfort. This problem was later remedied by adding smaller amounts at a time. It tasted delicious, however. Later, I tried adding lime powder, but that didn’t work the same way.

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      1. “..causing them great discomfort.” :lol: I love that phrase. I actually used a phrase similar to that earlier today. (“Last year, I was playing in the fountains and fell on my back, soaking my clothes completely and creating slight discomfort. Also it was cold that day.”)

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  15. Delaware has only three counties, compared to Alaska’s three million lakes!

    Also, America has more states than England does counties (50 to 48). I love my geography book ♥♥♥

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    1. It depends on what type of counties your talking about. England has a super complex local government structure that has several diferent things called counties.

      There are 48 ceremonial counties, ‘governed’ by Lord Lieutenants.
      There are 83 Metropolitan and non-metropolitan counties, which are the real counties, and which have local government power. But then London isn’t a Metropolitan or non-metropolitan county, but instead really 32 boroughs, as well as the City of London, which is a corporation governed by some business, but even that’s an over simplification. There are also some unitary authorities, which are like counties, but also govern the towns inside of them.
      It’s all very complex.

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  16. It is possible to put a whole class in detention, at least theoretically, even in the Austrian system. I wonder what happens if the entire class skips detention… do they get detention for missing detention?

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    1. Is that what happens if anyone skips detention, or is the usual punishment for it just something that wouldn’t work on a whole class?

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      1. I don’t know. I’ve never been in detention before; besides, I don’t think I ever will be. Somehow, teachers have been dodging out of supervising us during said detention. I can’t imagine why…

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        1. Oh, I haven’t ever been in detention, either, and if I ever do, I wouldn’t skip it. I was just curious.

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      2. If someone skips detention-in my school at least-, they still have to do it, and they get an extra detention, too. That would probably work on a whole class, although it would get irritating for the teachers…
        *has an irksome class and thus knows this*

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        1. What happens if you keep skipping the extra detentions you’re getting for skipping detention? Surely they don’t just keep assigning more detentions? That doesn’t seem like it would have much of an effect.

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  17. The richest man in the world is someone named something like Carlos Slim, and he is a Mexican telecommunications magnate.

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  18. Oh, and here’s one I learned yesterday: Trying to go upstairs from your geometry class right after the bell rings is like getting a group hug from the entire junior class.

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  19. Office chairs, frogs, fruit (and the trees the fruit is on), pistachio nuts, milk, laptops, and lakes all explode.

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        1. Curse you, Optimatum, you sent me on a Wiki Walk again. Now I’m on Inherently Funny Words wondering how I got there.

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        1. “…No stranger would it be, if we met up at midnight at the hanging tree.”
          I learned today (just now, actually) that I’m apparently much more addicted to The Hunger Games than I thought.

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  20. “Soler” is a defective verb. Or at least that’s what my Spanish teacher’s verb book says. Who knows what that means…

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      1. Yeah, we found out that much. It just seemed really odd to label a verb as “defective”. Must be horrible for its self-esteem. ;)

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    1. True. I creeped out my friend once by saying “Si, es tuya.”(Yes, it’s yours) In a normal (to my ears, anyway) voice. I do it now to bother her. :twisted:

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    2. I freaked out my friends by remaining silent for a while and then suddenly asking “Is beautiful, no?” in a rather bad Russian accent.

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      1. “Become one with Mother Russia, da?”
        My parents both used to be fluent in Russian (note:used) and break out in random Russian phrases on occasion.

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      1. I’ve been holding both of them between my thumb, index finger, and middle finger. It’s hard to describe the precise configuration. It’s worked fine for me, but the “correct” way does seem more maneuverable and secure.

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        1. Is there a correct way? I’m pretty sure I’ve been holding it the same way as you since I was two years old, and I have no problems with it.

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  21. There have been three times as many James Bond movies as Harry Potter movies, but the Harry Potter franchise has still made more money.

    “No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to take Divination.”

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  22. In France, on Easter morning, instead of having a bunny bring candy to kids, they have a giant flying bell. I just learned that this morning.

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  23. Today I learned that blasting Trololo in the background of bad romantic movies (like twilight) makes everything twice as funny.

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    1. I actually saw an ad for it on a bus about a week ago. I cheered mentally, although not out loud as my family would look at me strangely.

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    1. ‘The FLIP? Now that’s just wrong. I mean, the whole thing is wrong, but that particular detail is very, very wrong.

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      1. I saw one of the actual coke machines today at the International Civil Rights Center and Museum during a behind-the-scenes tour. (The coke machine is part of the public display area, though.) The museum was built inside the Woolworth’s store where 4 teen-aged college freshmen sat down at the lunch counter on February 1, 1960 and inspired a wave of sit-ins that helped to break down the wall of segregation.

        If you’re ever in Greensboro, NC you should definitely pay the ICRCM a visit. The tour is very moving, heartbreaking, surprising, shocking at times, but uplifting and inspiring, too.

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    2. I read that as, “one side “for whites only,” the other side “for coloreds,” and one side that charged twice as much as the others.”

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    3. which charged more? I guess I could see it either way: manufacturers assuming whites would have more loose spending cash, or manufacturers trying to squeeze everything they could out of the disempowered.

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  24. Today I learned that life is fleeting, precious, and taken for granted. I don’t want to grow up and have to say goodbye to my friends from our theater, like I watched the seniors do last night at the cast party after the closing show. I don’t want to go to college and be alone. I’m scared to grow up.

    Please appreciate every moment of this teenage experience while you have it, because soon it will all be gone.

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          1. Some omnivores recognize the futility of warning other omnivores about that, but shall do so anyway. BEWARE.

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  25. If Car A going at 50 mph west passes Bob who is standing still, to Car A, he is going 50 mph east.

    If Car A going 25 mph west passes Car B going 25 mph east, from Car A’s perspective, Car B is going 50 mph east and vice versa.

    That is why a head on collision at 25 mph is about as dangerous as Car A plowing into a brick wall at 50 mph. I think.

    Science is rad.

    Also, SCIENCE+BEER=GOOD. Learned that on Mythbusters (they were cooling beer with icy-salt water, and it cooled in four minutes).

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    1. They did the car thing on Mythbusters.
      2 cars in a head on collision at 25 mph each is like each car hitting a brick wall at 25mph, not 50mph.
      If you find that hard to imagine with the cars, then do this:

      Imagine a free-standing brick wall.
      Joe’s car hits the wall at 25 mph going west. Compared to the wall, Joe is going 25 mph so the force of his collision is that of a car going 25 mph.

      Joe’s car is on one side of the wall. Bob’s car is on the other side of the wall. Both cars travel toward the wall at 25 mph. Both cars hit the wall at the same time, and each car experiences the force of a 25 mph crash into a brick wall.

      Joe’s car and Bob’s car start going 25 mph at the same time. They head toward each other and crash head on at 25 mph. They stop at the spot where there used to be a brick wall. They stop in the same distance as they did when they hit opposite sides of the wall. Each car has experienced the force of its own 25 mph crash.

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  26. I learned about the rape of Nanking 80

    It still shocked me when my teacher told me that US textbooks have little to nothing on that subject, and in our textbook there was only one lousy sentence on what should have been an entire paragraph at least.

    Japanese textbooks have absolutely nothing on the subject.

    The sheer stupidity and arrogance of the human race astounds me sometimes.

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  27. My normal walking tempo is the Imperial March.

    You can probably guess what I walk around humming at school now.

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  28. Something I learned a few days ago: John Singleton Copley painted the picture of George Washington that is now featured on the one-dollar bill. It was originally a portrait of George and Martha Washington that Mrs. Washington commission. Copley never finished the painting; nevertheless, it is now hanging in the Boston Museum of Fine Arts.

    Also, the image of Samuel Adams on the beer bottle is in fact Paul Revere, because the actual portrait of Sam Adams was too boring to be used.

    Something I learned today: Vincent van Gogh lived in the nineteenth century.

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  29. Today I found a rubber pig pencil-topper on the ground and learned that I like rubbery pink pigs.

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  30. I have learned that it is very fun to write the shortest, weirdest sentences you can:

    Druids cavort.
    Mortality miffs.
    Oleander schemes.
    Reticulation impoverishes.

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  31. Today I learned what Henry David Thoreau’s last words were: “Now comes good sailing,” “Moose,” “Indian”.

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    1. There is a wonderful section on wikiquotes just for last words. One of my favorites: “I am about to — or I am going to — die: either expression is correct.” (by French grammarian Dominique Bouhours)

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      1. “My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death; one or the other of us has to go.” -Oscar Wilde

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  32. Today I learned that it is often very hard to think of something witty when you are in the mood to say something witty.

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  33. The geologic time period when reptiles first appeared was the Silurian Period. In Doctor Who, the ancient reptile people are called the Silurians. Cue “oh … that makes sense” moment.

    Also, any book/movie/TV show can sound stupid when reduced to a few sentences. Harry Potter 7: 3 teens skip school, run from the law, destroy priceless artifacts, and kill an old man at the end.

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    1. I’d say you should include the word “evil” in that last bit, possibly with something about an Idiot Ball.

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      1. Agreed. A better decryption of book seven might be: 3 teens skip EVIL school, run from the EVIL law, and kill an EVIL old man at the end.

        And yes, the Idiot Ball does seem to factor in heavily

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    2. The Silurian Period, in turn, was named after the Silurii or Silures, an ancient Celtic tribe who lived in Wales, because Wales is where geologists first studied rocks containing fossils of that early-reptile age. I’m not sure how we know about them; Roman historians must have described them. They called themselves Silurii because — hm, that’s where I run out of explanations. They weren’t reptiles, in any case; just plain old Homo sapiens, like us. Paul Baker probably knows all about them.

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        1. Why is this not pied beyond all most recognition so that we can all see it in its pink-backgrounded glory?

          -A

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    3. And, any Stephen King story can sound unscary. “A plane flies outside of time and some of the passengers disappear and then monsters try to get them, but they escape.”

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    4. Fridge Brilliance! I love learning about things like that. Makes me feel like the writers actually know what they’re doing.

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      1. Update: Reptiles actually evolved during the Devonian Period. The Silurian Period was jawless fishes. Whoops. :sad:

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        1. That’s disappointing. I guess the show’s writers decided that the name “Devonian,” or a race of jawless fish, wouldn’t be scary enough.

          (The Devonian Period, by the way, was named after rocks near Devon, England. Devonian fish were the first fossils that really made it clear to people how old the world had to be.)

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            1. And the Doctor says that they probably arose in the much, much later Eocene epoch.

              But isn’t the genus “Homo” a genus of mammals closely related to modern humans?

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    5. There was a contest in a Muse sometime in the past on this very topic. I can’t remember which one though…

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    6. Kind of related: Almost any description of how somebody died sounds like something they’d have to have been really stupid to do when summarized.

      “He fell off a mountain.”
      “They didn’t shut the door all the way and all the oxygen leaked out.”
      “He crashed his car into a tree.”

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      1. EDIT: Especially Gerald Bull.

        “He answered the door for secret agents and they shot him.”

        (If there is a list of things mad scientists should never do, like the Evil Overlord list, this is probably pretty high up there.)

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  34. Today I learned that many tardigrades use British soldiers for shelter. I also learned that a British soldier was a type of lichen. I learned those things in that order, so I was rather shocked in between.

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  35. Today I was finally aware enough to realize that on Wednesday I learned that sleeping on a tour bus is more like getting knocked out with a tennis racket than sleeping.
    You just pass out and drift in and out of consciousness, and a few hours later you are fully awake and feel worse than before.

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    1. For some reason, I sleep the best on buses, cars with a lot of motor noise, and airplanes taking off or landing. I can almost not stay awake – and usually it takes me a while to fall asleep.

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    2. I have sort of the same thing too, on airplanes. I don’t remember falling asleep, it’s like I’ve been drugged. Only without the horrible side-effects.

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  36. Today I learned that there is a company called Water Bear Carpet Specialists. Unfortunately, they have the wrong logo.

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  37. Some lollipops don’t just tinge your tongue green: they turn your teeth and lips green too. They are also darn near impossible to stop sucking on.

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  38. I learned that it is impossible to avoid forgetting all things you learned in the day when you look at this thread.

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  39. If you go to the mall with the intent of buying a certain pair of earrings, and you go into CVS, and there is a bin of Cadbury eggs with 2 for $1, you’re probably going to spend the $14 you scraped up for the earrings on 28 Cadbury eggs.

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  40. Today I learned… Nothing. But yesterday I did learn how making a website with HTML works. (Yeah, I know. Pathetic.)

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  41. Don’t relentlessly bully people, or else when they grow up and become a ringmaster they might blow you up with TNT.

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  42. Today (well, yesterday) I learned Scrafty is actually pretty boss-looking. I also learned that my Scrafty and Sawsbuck are best friends, as well as my Excadrill and Swoobat, for some reason…opposites attract?

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  43. I learned how to make a webpage (I had to do it for science. Now there are fifty+ “Check out my experiment with frogs” webpages floating around the Internet. Apparently it’s vitally important that we post our experiments to the world, since there’s just NO WAY that that’s not already somewhere out there in the ones and zeroes that can be randomly accesed by Google.)
    I also learned that Magic Tree House audiobooks won’t fade into background noise, even after the two thousandth time. XP
    And that if you don’t have a mute for a trombone, you can use socks, provided that you don’t mind reinserting them into the bell every five seconds.

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  44. SFTDP:
    @54: Have you tried to summarize LOTR?
    A furry-footed British guy goes to drop his uncle’s ring into a hole in the ground.
    (Speaking of which, we are playing the soundtrack in band! :) :) :) )

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        1. People from New Zealand. We’re sensitive about that sort of thing. Okay, I’m not really from New Zealand, but I was born there. They don’t like being called British.

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  45. Something we learned several years ago: a jar of peanut butter has the same specific gravity as a pound of plastic explosives. This was before you had to store your peanut butter in 3-ounce ziploc baggies.

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    1. Were those the examples your science class used to teach the law of universal gravitation? Mine were a paperclip and an elephant.

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      1. No, this was the fact used by a TSA agent before he confiscated my peanut butter. Have you ever tried to make a peanut butter sandwich without the peanut butter? It’s hard.

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        1. Ah. I imagine so. Still, everything falls at the same speed, so what was so special about a jar of peanut butter that he took that specific item? Oh, wait… You’re talking about weight, aren’t you? Never mind, then. I misunderstood. Still, surely everything has the same weight as some amount of some kind of explosives, so I don’t get it. If it’s just that it has to weigh as much as enough explosives to matter, wouldn’t he have to confiscate the actual plane, too, in case the pilot put something in the walls? Or do they use x-rays? What about luggage? *is asking way too many questions*

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    1. …That can’t be. That really can’t be. It just can’t.
      If so, is it really that hard to get a really, really small needle and start vaccinating them?

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      1. Some mosquitoes carry certain diseases (like malaria and yellow fever). If a diseased mosquito bites you, you may get the disease, and you might die of it.

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        1. And, a month later, I can explain this.
          Half the number of people who have died throughout history have died from mosquito-borne diseases. Thank you, horrible documentary on parasites that we were forced to watch today in bio.

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  46. Harvard is really old and a lot of famous people went there. They told us this roughly 624,238,992 times on the tour.

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  47. The National Cathedral in Washington DC has a Darth Vader gargoyle. I kid you not. (Evidently, this is what I get from spending too long reading TVTropes.)

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  48. I learned that before you throw Cheerios all over your friend’s house, look under the rabbit cage. The chinchilla is probably hiding there. Also that when chinchillas get behind the dryer and washer, it is incredibly hard to get them out. If only they weren’t so caking fast!!!

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  49. I learned that when I need to think of a speech topic, everything I can talk about all day flies out of my otherwise blank mind.

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  50. I learned that if you accidentally spray some furniture polish on top of a woodstove, it will hiss and smoke alarmingly.

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  51. I learned that a boy at school thinks I’m intimidating, which is (mildly) understandable but still hilarious.

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  52. I learned that the magnetic north pole of the Earth is actually technically a south pole.

    It’s a weird world out there.

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  53. Today I learned that “orangeier” is a word, according to Microsoft Word (but not Firefox, apparently)

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  54. From my AP Government textbook:

    “In Jefferson’s bid for a second term in 1800, Federalists again attacked him, this time spreading a rumor that he was dead.”

    Wait, what?

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  55. A British man donated his skull to be used as a prop in a theater’s production of Hamlet, so he could accomplish his lifelong dream of being in a Shakespeare play. :shock:
    I feel sorry for the actors that had to touch the skull …

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    1. I’m planning to be an organ donor so I’ll still be useful when I’m dead. Besides, y’know, decomposing.

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  56. I learned that if you want to get on my friends good side, write a book, and make a character modeled after he named Eris.

    And, that I’m actually good at 1 sport.

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  57. I learned that my brain has the amazing ability to skim over “linear patterns” and read it as “liver tattoos.”

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  58. I learned that lemon trees have thorns. If only I had known that before I’d climbed the tree. (And be deprived of a good learning experience? Never!) At least I got several lemons out of it. One of them looks like a squid.

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    1. Youch. I didn’t know that either(not that I live in an area where growing lemons is possible), thanks for the tip :)
      Squid-lemon FTW!

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  59. Here is something I learned yesterday.

    During the gold rush, many of the people who actually got rich were the ones taking advantage of the forty-niners. One entrepreneur created a salve for miners. The user would take off all their clothes and rub the salve all over their body, and then roll down a hill naked. The claim was that the salve would make all the gold stick to the body and the user could get all the gold they needed to make their fortune in a few easy days.

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  60. Today I learned that the Maine State Prison had underground cells when it was first built. 8O As in, prisoners were lowered into the cells every night and brought up to mine and work every day. Also, what I’m wondering is what happened to the cells?! Are they still there? Could somebody fall into them?! I will probably be having nightmares about tortured underground prisoners for a while now. Even though that is, of course, completely ridiculous. *shudders*

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      1. There were no trapdoors. They were just covered in tarps. It was probably fairly hard to escape from the cells, seeing as the prisoners had to be lowered in, and I guess they didn’t want to bother. Maybe they’re filled in; as they filled in the mine when the prison was torn down, but no body ever mentions that, just that they stopped using them. *spooky music plays*

        (I know, I know; I’m scaring myself unnesscessarily (sp…?) but it’s so fuun… :P )

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  61. I learned that if you eat away at the cookie dough before the eggs are added, then people will not notice the mimized amount of chocolate chips. :)

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          1. What about if you eat it raw?

            Cake germs, I’ve been eating raw cookie dough with the eggs added and I haven’t gotten sick yet. *keeps eating*

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                1. ‘Twas Piggy, who I feel should know better about initiating a Mac versus PC argument. Then again, that was partially my fault as well.

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                  1. When/where was this?

                    Also:

                    ‘Twas Piggy, and the slithy toves
                    Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
                    All mimsy were the borogoves,
                    And the mome raths outgrabe.

                    “Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
                    The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
                    Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
                    The frumious Bandersnatch!”

                    He took his vorpal sword in hand:
                    Long time the manxome foe he sought —
                    So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
                    And stood awhile in thought.

                    And, as in uffish thought he stood,
                    The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
                    Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
                    And burbled as it came!

                    One, two! One, two! And through and through
                    The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
                    He left it dead, and with its head
                    He went galumphing back.

                    “And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
                    Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
                    O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!’
                    He chortled in his joy.

                    ‘Twas Piggy, and the slithy toves
                    Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
                    All mimsy were the borogoves,
                    And the mome raths outgrabe.

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                    1. That was, undoubtedly, awesome.
                      It was when your computer decided it was a time machine, I think. Unless Bibliophile was thinking of something different.

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                    2. I have to memorize that poem for class, you know. Now you’ve gone and ruined it, and I’m never going to be able to say “slithy” again.

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                  1. Yes, I even once saw something for sale to put on a computer that had the Apple symbol next to the pi symbol. It was awesome. I would have bought it if my computer weren’t, unfortunately, Windows.

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    1. Ah… I love MB. Its the only place where a discussion of cookie dough can lead to computers, debates, and Alice in Wonderland.

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  62. I learned ( from Wikipedia ) that poison dart frogs stop making the poison in their skin when they are kept in captivity.

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  63. I learned that I am much more of a nerd than I thought, because I can recite the seventeen pokemon types from memory.

    I can also do some of the Pokerap.

    And Kricketune is my new favorite pokemon, and I need to get mine a Metronome because Fury Cutter+Metronome=DESTROYS EVERYTHING.

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        1. …and a New South Wales. I’m not sure quite where that is, but I think it might be near Australia.

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  64. Around a year ago I learned that pencils could be stapled. Then I learned that tying a bent paper clip around the staples makes an excellent projectile weapon. Then I learned that firing the said projectile weapon at classmates makes teachers somewhat mad.
    I don’t staple my pencils anymore.

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  65. I learned that the system of comments on report cards at our school involves about three hundred numbered comments. Basically, the teachers type in a number and the comment appears. So that’s why all of my teachers keep telling me I’m “conscientious and diligent”.

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    1. My school uses a similiar system, and one time our teacher thought one number was another and all of her best students got the comment, “Is noisy and disruptive in class”

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  66. I learned that my Crobat, Epsilon, is madly in love with my Ponyta, Guinevere, my Luxio, Lixy, is really scared of battling, my Shellos, Squishy! (yes, with the exclamation point) is…different, and has a crush on my Kricketot, Tune (I need a better name…suggestions?). Akupara, my Grotle, is kind of above the whole thing and adores Ophelia the trainer.

    …am I weird for having these cute little romances and personalities for my pokemon in my games?

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    1. I always thought it was the next-to-last, as in ann-toe-NEE-a, as opposed to the more usual pronunciation, ann-TOE-nee-a.

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      1. Nope. The narrator actually explains it at the end of chapter one. Sort of like the English name “Anthony”.

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  67. 54: The only exception is A Series Of Unfortunate Events–the first 12 books, anyway. Has anyone else seen 12 Books In 120 Seconds? Anyone who likes the books should; it’s amazing.
    68.1.1.2: Yes, but hobbits are British. The films tok place in New Zealand, but I’m almost positive JRRT said the books were set in early alternate Britain.

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    1. But the key word there is alternate; if we’re going to try to be really correct about this, then hobbits are neither British nor Kiwi. In fact, they are Shirites (or whatever the demonym for the Shire would be if you didn’t just use hobbits).

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  68. The original comic books of X-men were going to be called Mutants, but they changed it because they thought people wouldn’t know what mutants were. (And people would know what “X-men” were?)

    Russia from Hetalia’s “human name” is Ivan.

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    1. X is a letter with certain connotations in people’s minds, such as “extreme,” “mysterious,” “unknown” and “cool.” (See Xtreme Kool Letterz on TVTropes.)
      -Man or -Men is a pretty universal superhero-name suffix.
      So although people wouldn’t know what either “mutants” or “X-men” were, their reactions would differ.
      X-men: “Wow, extreme mysterious superheroes! I should buy this comic book and possibly others in the same series!”
      Mutants: “Wow, weird Latin-looking word. How boring.”

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  69. The sounds “uck” and “ock” are inherently funny for some reason. This is why the words “duck” and “smock” are so funny.

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              1. I’m not sure that’s it. Aphrodisiock and aphrodisiuck sound much funnier than the actual word, don’t you think?

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  70. I you’re doing a research project and can’t find anything, librarians have a form they can sign for you to hand in to your professor/teacher/evil overlord that pretty much says “there is no way to write a paper/do a project on this subject because there is no available information.”

    I find this information hugely reassuring.

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    1. Really?? I’m not sure if they have that at our library, but I guess it will be good to check if I ever have to write a paper on something on which there is no available information.

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    2. P_M~ At least our public library branch has it, I’d guess that it’s a common library thing. I can’t imagine why only one would do it, and it also seems like it’d be a good thing, especially for school or university libraries.

      Lizzie~ Who’s library, mine or P_M’s? I’m going to assume you mean mine. It does have internet and we have a fantastic librarian who’s a whiz at getting things through inter-library loan.
      I’m trying to research Native Americans of a certain valley, and I’ve found very little relating to the valley and it’s even more difficult trying to pin down what tribes lived there.
      The form is for when there really isn’t any information about a specific or obscure topic.

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      1. Are you sure the reason you’re not interested is that the topic, well, doesn’t interest you, rather than how hard it is to get any information, interesting or otherwise?

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        1. That question makes very little sense, but I think you’re asking whether I’m genuinely uninterested in the topic or my distaste for it is because I can’t find anything.
          I actually am largely uninterested in Native American history, even when there’s an ample amount of information.
          I should clarify what I mean by uninterested.
          I can be, and am, interested in nearly everything. That said, there are some topics that I pursue more energetically, such as tall ships, fiddle music, early American colonial history, etc. I like these things a lot and actively pursue learning about them, I say that these are some of my major interests.
          My disinterest in Native Americans is that I don’t actively pursue them unless I’m bid to. I’m always glad to learn more about them, but I don’t seek it out, if that makes sense. My “real” grandmother is very interested in Native Americans, and one time when I was visiting her we went for a drive and stopped by a spring at the side of the road, where we picked watercress and she pointed out several stones in the grass that had dimples in them and said they were grinding stones and the dimples were from hands. She told me about the Indians that had lived in the area (way out in the mountains of WV), how they had lived, how there were very few left anymore, about the artifacts she found, etc. It was fascinating, but I’ve not felt the need to follow up with more research.
          I do respect Native Americans, and I think their culture is fascinating, I just don’t choose to go out and study it for fun.

          Hopefully I understood your question correctly and my answer makes some kind of sense.

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    1. Yes. They get so….frothy! Except when the egg beater spews them all over the kitchen. (Yesterday I learned not to lift the egg beater out of the egg whites while it was going. In retrospect, that should have been obvious)

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  71. If you happen to visit an Evangelical church, do not wear your “Atheist and Proud of It” T-shirt.

    In my defense, I didn’t wear it on purpose.

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  72. Today I learned that I really, really need to read more physics. Butterflies and Superstrings had me nearly squeeing out loud.

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  73. I learned that a suggested way to prevent static from interfering with the Smartboards (has anyone heard of those) is to have one person hold the person writing’s earlobe to ground them.

    Or you could just put a rubber mat on the floor.

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    1. I’ve never seen static interfere with a Smartboard. They all seem to work pretty consistently well at my school.

      Also, I think a rubber mat would be counterproductive. The idea is to ground the user, not prevent them from being grounded.

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      1. My math teacher’s Smartboard is broken half the time, so they sent in a mat that I thought was rubber, because it looks, feels, and sounds like rubber.

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          1. …What? Why? Wouldn’t it be uncomfortable to go around wearing a wire? And how would it work if it wasn’t connected to anything?
            …Oh, wait. You meant your teacher’s smartboards. FAIL.

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      2. Yes, they seem to work well at my school too (and there’s no static I’ve heard of), though some students have more trouble with dragging things than others.

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  74. Yay, now I can tell my math teacher!
    …And then the SmartBoard will come to life and kill us all. Once it turned into a cow, you know. >.<

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  75. Today I learned that if you update the school’s server, leaving the entire school computer-less, then they will panic.
    “DO NOT TOUCH THE COMPUTERS. OR. ELSE.”
    This coming from my keyboarding teacher is pretty extreme.
    SmartBoards are so much fun. My math teacher has one, but she never uses it. :(

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  76. My teacher’s SmartBoard is a witch. Really! We wanted to burn it, but…that’s about the time it turned into a cow. It went “moo” right in the middle of class! I’M SERIOUS!!!!!
    *is taken off in a straitjacket* I’M INNOCENT! I’M INNNOCEEEEENT!!!!
    *Anti-Straitjacket pies* Okay, better now. Yesterday I learned…that if a van going around a racetrack is tilted more than 28 degrees, it will flip over. Not from experience, of course, but we were at 28 degrees, and it seriously felt like we were sideways.

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  77. What I learned today:
    1. The water that comes out of my hot-water tap is definitely at boiling point. I suspected it because of the steam, but it’s hot enough that I don’t even have to boil it to make a cup of tea.

    2.Salty tea tastes nasty. Also, the salt and sugar jars look totally different, are different sizes, and most importantly, taste different. It would be a good idea to learn the differences between the two before I put a nice big heaping spoonful of salt in my tea and nearly choke when I drink it.

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  78. I learned today that trees grow from the top and not the bottom.

    I learned yesterday that Ben & Jerry’s makes a chocolate-covered potato chip ice cream. It’s called “Late Night Snack” and it was created in honor of Jimmy Fallon. I ate some at Six Flags, five dollars for a small.

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      1. actually, I’m pretty sure they don’t – think of when someone carves their initials into a tree. They stay at that height.

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    1. …Did it taste good?

      I actually kind of want to taste that. I mean, chocolate is good, and potato chips are good. What could go wrong, right?

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      1. Yeah, but the chocolate-covered potato chips tasted exactly like Whoppers, for some reason.

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  79. I learned that if you ask your 7th period core teachers to excuse you for thirty minutes so you can go play in the jazz band performance, their answer will be, “NO! ARE YOU CRAZY? WE HAVE TWO WEEKS TO THE STANDARDIZED TESTS. YOU ARE NOT LEAVING MY CLASS FOR ONE INSTANT!!!!”
    My band director has not yet learned this. He’s still trying.

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  80. If you talk on the phone for waaaaaaaaaaaay too long, you learn the most interesting things like: The tiny bit of metallic echo that phones give your voice is all you need to turn a mediocre Dalek voice into a scarily realistic Dalek voice. Next time that you’re talking on the phone, take a moment to say “oh wait I have to try this!” and yell “EXTERMINATE” In your best Dalek voice. Your friend will probably think that you’re insane, but it’s worth it. Talking on the phone will never be the same for you again.

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    1. And Nym should have learned that if you talk on the phone for waaaaaaaaaaaay too long, it will prevent you from doing your homework.

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      1. Heh! The funny thing is that it was the same conversation. I was talking and discovered the Dalek thing right before you yelled at us.

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  81. I learned that when you have a fever, your temperature is going up to kill a pathogen in your body.

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                    1. After a bit of thought, I bet P_M was thinking of turtles, which are reptiles that spend some time on land and some time in the water.

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  82. I learned that, when at a Mexican restaurant, dipping your corn chips in your water (with your fingers) and getting most of the air bubbles out, then proceeding to eat them whole, will gather strange looks from your fellow restaurant-goers.

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  83. If you turn up your iPod loud enough, you can’t hear yourself thinking. Sometimes this is a good thing.

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    1. What do you mean? Do you mean you focus so much on the music that it distracts you, or that your individual thinking process involves sounds that can be drowned out?

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    2. If you turn your iPod up loud enough, you eventually won’t be able to hear yourself doing anything.

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  84. Yesterday I learned that if a teacup is too hot for your hands to touch, it’s probably a bad idea to put the tea in your mouth.
    I probably should have figured this out years ago.

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    1. That’s not necessarily true if you just take a little bit and don’t touch it to your lips…

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    1. If you are like me, you now have a mental image of John C. Calhoun puffing away on a tin whistle with a really serious, dignified expression on his face.

      Thank you forever, Piggy.

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      1. If your whistle is in D major (which seems to be the most common), play it in E minor. You avoid nasty accidentals and the lowest note of the song is low D.

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  85. .1% of the population of Ireland lists their ethnicity as other/mixed. That is about 5000 people. Hmm….

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  86. Today I learned that wombats are mainly crepuscular and nocturnal.
    Soon afterwards, I learned that crepuscular is a term used to describe animals that are mostly active during twilight.

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  87. I learned that when you have a long stretch of downhill and start running you can be airborne for surprising amounts of time.
    I also learned that there are certain circumstances in which my subconscious should really be bitten to death. It’s that kind of a day, it seems… *headdesk*

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      1. But it’s so good tasting…

        *morning after* Augh, the taste in my mouth… it feels like I ate spinach-flavored plaster… DX

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  88. More in Choklit O’s What Not To Wear series:

    Do not wear a giant ostrich feather in your ponytail when attending a birthday party.

    Do not wear dream-catcher earrings to a science competition, no matter how lucky they are.

    Do not wear knee socks. Ever.

    Needless to say, I’m not going to follow any of this. I love knee socks. But you do get a lot of glares with the earrings.

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          1. Well… I made them, actually, but they’re one of the only crafty things I’ve ever made that don’t look like a complete mess. I’m actually rather proud of them.

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            1. If I glare at you, it’s because I’m trying to find a way to steal them from you. That is sooooo cool. I wish I could make earings!

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              1. You buy earring hooks and wire and put random things onto them. Whatever has holes works, such as beads, but paperclips are cool, too.

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    1. It’s either an objection to the knee socks or the stripes on them. I don’t know which, but I’ve been told they look “dorky.”

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  89. I’ve created a graph of the number of posts I’ve made on each random thread since I first joined MB. Here it is, if the GAPAs will permit (if they won’t, sorry!) I seem to have begun posting more lately.

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    1. Tasty leather items? I hope this is because of an animal? I don’t think of leather as very tasty…

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  90. 121.111 following – I know frogs are amphibians; I said they were reptiles as a joke about correcting people.

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  91. Plain, raw, frozen ginger tastes bizarrely like a spicy popsicle. Its aftertaste is better than its taste when it’s in your mouth (duringtaste?).

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    1. I like the taste of whole dried cloves. And yes, the aftertaste is better than the actual taste.

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      1. I absolutely LOVE plain, raw garlic. I’ve known that for a long time, though.

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  92. I realized that it’s not a good idea to make Harry Potter jokes to someone who’s never read the series, because they’ll look at you like you’re a piece of chewed gum stuck to the floor.

    “Stop coughing. I don’t want to be able to see Thestrals in a few hours!”
    “You’re such a dork.”

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    1. Nice.
      I find HP fans in the most unlikely of places. There was this girl in my science group who’s pretty much the opposite of me in every possible way, and when we were conspiring names for our frogs, she said, “Should I name this one Fred, George, Bill, Charlie, or Percy?”
      “What about Ron?”
      Anyway. They ended up as Fred and George.

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  93. A Harry Potter book in Singapore sprouts mold within a year of arrival. Only Harry Potter, for some reason- and only books 5 and 6.

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      1. Oh, it’s okay. We have Lysol. I suppose I shall just have to put up with odd-smelling Harry Potter books for a while.

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  94. I learned that if there is something you wish to put on this thread, you will forget it by the time you get onto the Internet.

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    1. Not necessarily
      Anyway, recently it was confirmed that I really am psychic. I had a dream of having a certain conversation in the backyard, and it happened the next day. Really. I’d like to add that I went outside first, and he started the conversation, even though I hadn’t told anyone about the dream.

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      1. This kind of thing has happened to me a few times; what really shocked me, though, is that I was having a conversation about dreams and someone brought it up, and every single person in earshot had had experienced something like this. Now, I could get a lot of dissenting opinion with this, but I think the human subconscious is limitlessly capable. It’s little stuff like that that reveals a window to that.

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        1. I had a dream I was drinking a lot of hot chocolate and it started tasting nasty. The next day, there was unidentifable meat in my third mug.

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  95. SFTDP, but I just learned that Charles H. Hinton from late-Victorian/early Edwardian times “invented a gun used in baseball batting practice. He is also known for his speculations on the fourth dimension. He married a daughter of logican George Boole, but was forced to leave England after a bigamy conviction. An instructor of mathematics at Princeton (fired) and assistant professor at Minnesota, he served at the Naval Observatory and as patent examiner in Washington. There he died suddenly when asked to give a toast to “female philosophers” at the Society of Philanthropic Inquiry meeting.”

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      1. He also made a Flatland (really awesome book with science, math, philosophy, Victorian satire, and talking squares!) fanfiction video. By the way, his scientific papers are really, really interesting and relevant and literally made me squee out loud.

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          1. I didn’t think there were videos then, but I couldn’t remember where I’d heard that, so I assumed I must have been wrong. I’m really not sure how he managed it, then. It probably depends on just when he died…
            What did the comment say originally?

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            1. Wait, it isn’t a video at all or even fanfiction; it’s a completely different original story. Oops. I’m really not sure how I got the video idea…

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  96. Yo, ho, all together
    Hoist the colours high
    Heave, ho, thieves and beggars
    Never shall we die

    This can be sung to Row Row Row Your Boat.

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  97. Next time you go Christmas caroling, try singing “Hark the Herald Angels Sing” to the tune of “Good King Wencheslas” It is amazing, and guaranteed to confuse everyone when they get the the “Gloria” part, and instead start singing “Brightly shone the moon that night…” The song “Clementine” also goes to the tune of “Ode To Joy” The list could go on…

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      1. Because when you go caroling, you have a large group of victims who are willing to sing carols with you.

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        1. I agree that it’s a good idea to do it more often then because of that, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do it in May, too.

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  98. Æthelred the Unready was king of England in 995. I was researching for a Harry Potter roleplay set in the Founders’ time.

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    1. …SFTDP, but that is so, so apt. I mean, really, it’s exactly the sort of thing that would be taught in History of Magic. Perfect!
      Also, today I learned that although I know Hark The Herald Angels Sing very well, I have not quite memorized the tune of Good King Wenceslas. I should work on the.

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    2. Wait, that was a male name, too? I’m pretty sure it was the most popular girl’s name around a century ago, although that started with an E. I wonder what it meanss. *looks it up* Noble council, apparently.

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  99. If rain is at precisely the right intensity and angle, it sounds just like a tornado.

    I love thunderstorms.

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  100. Today I learned that Benjamin Spock, of Baby and Child Care fame, has an Olympic medal in rowing.

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  101. In Singapore, a 13-year-old can show up at a doctor’s office with their insurance card and a Post-it note listing the shots they need to get to enroll in school next year, and be immunized within half an hour.

    Also, Singaporean nurses don’t seem to believe in disinfecting your arm before plunging a needle in it. Or stopping it from oozing blood afterward.

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    1. I once got twelve. shots. in. a. row. for allergy testing. They did not even wipe the blood off afterward.
      Yeah, that was fun, not. >.<

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  102. -161 No offense, but yikes.

    I learned today that two movies about life in a Holocaust death camp in one day are too many. I really don’t think “evil” is strong enough a word to describe it.

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  103. Today I learned that maybe we could have a new version of this thread? We have well over 450 comments.

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  104. Today I learned that the bass line in Under Pressure doesn’t sound nearly as good on the melodica. Hedwig’s Theme sounds good though.

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  105. Today I learned that last year, the SHS band played “We’re All In This Together” for pep band.

    Which, unfortunately, is sort of appropriate for our ( losing ) football team.

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  106. I learned that even very open-minded people can be made very uncomfortable very, very easily.
    Clare learned that she can hear people’s kidneys.

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      1. Exactly.
        And no, Agent Lightning, it’s not a reference to anything, though I’m somewhat flattered you thought it was. :)

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  107. I learned that even though your mom says you can tell her anything, that doesn’t include the effect of taking one of a recommended type of medicine rather than two on your bowel movements.

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  108. I learned that letting your five-year-old sister near an Oriental Trading catalog will result in fifty rubber ducks invading the house.
    SHE’S GIVING THEM ALL NAMES

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    1. It’s not their fault! It’s very good of her to give them a refuge where they won’t be put in boiling water to brew tea! They’re being abused really often nowadays; don’t you people read The Quibbler? Or at least The Leaky Cauldron’s version of it? Muggles can be so barbaric.

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  109. I learned that we do not live in a perfect world where the stranger sitting next to you in class will understand any H2G2 reference that you make to them. instead, you will get a strange look.

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  110. Today I learned to never ever trust any cookies baked by highschool foods classes. They often will end up deformed and burnt on the bottom.

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  111. You can read de-classified documents about the Roswell incident at the FBI’s electronic reading room. I love our government.

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  112. SFTDP, but the German word for anhydrobiotic tardigrade is Tönnchenform. I wonder if that’s the same as the German word for the other kind of tun? I’ll check Google translate. *does so* Well, sort of, but not exactly; it means barrel shape.

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  113. Today I learned that
    1. Frisbees were originally made out of empty pie tins, thus rendering them awesome;
    2. There is a bone in a squid that is sort of like the bone of a feather. You can make a pen out of this and dip it into squid ink.

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      1. Er…maybe? *headdesk* (Revised sentence: There is a bone in a squid that is sort of like the shaft of a feather. Sort of like a quill pen.)

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