Don’t Panic!
(The Hitchhiker’s Guide to MuseB*log:
Useful Information for Optimizing Your Experience)
1. The Essentials
If you haven’t done it yet, see The Rules.
2. Not Exactly Essential, but Informative (at least until someone started singing the Llama Song)
The still-theoretically-active HG2MB thread and its sequel.
3. Words You Need to Know
(If you don’t find a puzzling word below, try checking the Muse Glossary.
BA: Bunny Apocalypse, a role-playing saga about the final, cataclysmic war between humans and hot-pink bunnies. And then the next final, cataclysmic war between humans and hot-pink bunnies. And so on.
Cake: a mild all-purpose swear word found only on MuseBlog, in several variants (e.g., caking, what the cake?, oh, cake!). Derivation: cake is the opposite of pie.
Comment Zero: The heading of a new thread; the stuff the GAPAs post to launch a thread before MBers start posting with the comment form. Also referred to as Post Zero.
DIRP: Dumdum In a Responsible Position
Dread Phrase, the: “Remember, we’re all Musers here.” Universally acknowledged to be true, but usually interrupted by pie-throwing whenever anyone tries to say it.
en/ens/enself: An epicene (gender-neutral) pronoun often used by MuseB*loggers who don’t know, or don’t want to specify, whether the person they are referring to is male or female. “Ens” is possessive.
GAPA: Great And Powerful Administrator = Rosanne Spector/Robert Coontz/Paul Baker/Rebecca Lasley
hpb/hpbs: Hot-pink bunny/bunnies
Ko-konspiracy: The vast network of agents and operatives dedicated to executing plan “Mostly Harmless” and various nefarious subsidiary schemes. You’re part of it, by the way.
Lady Bunniful: Rebecca Lasley
MAP: MuseBlog Administrator Person = same as GAPA
MBer: MuseB*logger
“Mostly Harmless”: Code name for Musers’ plan for world domination
Nak: Nancy Kangas’s name in Ble
neophytes: Novice MBers; newcomers to the b*log
Norris, Chuck: Actor in the TV series “Walker, Texas Ranger.” Uses martial arts to defeat villains. Some MBers worship him as a demigod.
OEAD: Our Exalted Administrator Dude = same as GAPA
PAW: Popular Animal Writer = Donna Jackson
PB&J: Paul Baker, the jovial but elusive English GAPA
phytes: Short for neophytes (q.v.)
POPO or PoPo: Pointless post, a comment that has nothing to do with the thread it’s on.
POPOPO: Pointless-Post Police, vigilantes who impose virtual penalties to discourage posts they consider vacuous.
pwease: Just don’t say it.
Pwt pwns! A phrase (based on on*line-gamer slang) that glorifies Muse by declaring that the Muse Pwt owns all.
RPW: Role-Playing Writing, like a role-playing game but written in better prose.
RRR: Round-Robin ‘Riting, a collaborative MuseBlog art form in which people take turns writing short passages of a story.
SCAMPs: Slightly Crazy All-seeing Moderator Personages = GAPAs. Coined by Prarilius Canix.
SFTDP: Sorry for the Double Post.
SSSS: Stupid Senseless Smiley Stories. Hard to describe; you really have to see them to understand them.
WAM: Wonderfully Awesome Musewriter = Nancy Kangas
WOMBAT: Waste of Money, Brains, and Time
4. Frequently Asked Questions
Q. How do I sign up for MuseBlog?
A. You don’t have to. Just lurk until you feel like posting, and then post.
Q. What about that form for registering for a MuseBlog account?
A. You can sign up for an account, but there’s no need to. The only extra privileges you get by registering are the ability to play chess on the blog and to take part in a handful of special threads for people who have been posting on MuseBlog for at least six months. Everything else here is freely available to everyone.
Q. Why haven’t you approved my registration? Don’t you love me?
A. Because you don’t need to be registered (see previous answer), and we’d rather make sure you plan to stick around before we take the trouble to create an account. If you’ve been on the blog for six months and still don’t have an account, send us a reminder. We’re busy and tend to forget things. Lots of things. Most things, in fact.
Q. What does “Awaiting Moderation” mean?
A. The blog isn’t a chatroom. The administrators have to approve every message that MuseBloggers post. That might happen right away, or it might take hours. While you wait, the blog software thoughtfully sends you an “Awaiting Moderation” message to keep you company.
Q. Why does it take so long?
A. To teach you patience, Grasshopper.
Q. This is really a forum instead of a blog, isn’t it?
A. It’s based on blog software, but yes, it is run so that Musers instead of Administrators do most of the talking. Technically, our “threads” are blog posts, and MuseBloggers’ “posts” are comments on the posts. But they behave like threads and posts, so that’s how we usually refer to them.
Q. How can I start a new thread?
A. Only Administrators can launch new topic headings, so you’ll have to ask them to start one for you. They’re usually fairly reasonable, but they prefer to space out the new threads, so you may have to wait a little while.
Q. How can I get my birthday on the calendar?
A. Just mention what it is on the calendar page, and the GAPAs will get around to adding it sooner or later. Nag Remind them if they take too long.
Q. Why do you ask for our e-mail addresses?
A. For two reasons:
(1) The blogging software automatically creates comment forms with blank boxes for e-mail addresses, and we haven’t figured out how to leave them out.
(2) Sometimes we have questions about a post or suspect that an adult might be posing as a kid. When that happens, it’s handy to to be able to contact the poster directly instead of asking questions in front of everybody else. We almost never have to do that, though, and we absolutely never use the e-mail addresses for any other purpose.
Some MuseBloggers fill in the blank with obviously bogus e-mail addresses. We let them post but keep a closer than usual eye on them. So far, we’re glad to say, we’ve had nothing remotely resembling serious trouble here.
Q. Why aren’t we allowed to post links?
A. To keep online stalkers from harassing MuseBloggers at their personal sites, to avoid complaints about links to “inappropriate” material that we haven’t had time to check, and to keep spambots from tracing links back to us and flooding the blog with spam. (Zapping spam already takes more time than we like.)
Q. Why aren’t my smileys working?
A. If the problem is with a “word” smiley, try leaving out the spaces between the colons and the word. If it’s a “picture” smiley and starts a line, add a space to its left. And remember to put two spaces between consecutive smileys.
Q. How can I turn my text different colors?
A. You can’t, generally, but you can make it look green by inserting it between the commands a and /a (each in angle brackets). GAPAs aren’t crazy about that, because green text also signals clickable links, so please don’t do it.
Q. How can I post a picture?
A. You can’t post a picture directly. Send it to the Administrators (thegapas @ gmail. com), and they’ll post it sooner or later.
Q. My issue of Muse is extremely late (or never arrived at all). What should I do?
A. Phone the publisher’s customer service department at 1-800-821-0115. The call is free, and the people there are friendly and helpful.
Q. Is this site really a conspiracy to take over the world?
A. What else could it be?
5. Smileys and Code Tricks
There’s now a separate page for them.
Wow, you can post on these page-things? Cool!
I’ve always liked the HG2MB. It’s very handy.
Should “wung” be defined here? Definition: A small, possibly hyperdimensional creature which acts as a House Elf-like helper in the Hare & Hedgepig. Examples are Speen, Floom, and Nelby, which each have claimed a MuseBlogger as a foster parent.
That definition can be argued; that’s just somewhere to start.
Kokonvention/Kokon: A meeting of two or more MBers off the blog in a prearranged location. Parental permission needed unless you already know each other off-blog (and then you’ll probably need it anyway).
Maybe also “keepers,” from RRRs?
Pan: Would you like to define “keeper”?
A person who keeps documents of an RRR story on his or her computer, as well as any background information for easy reference.
What’s an RRR? Oh wait, let me check the Muse Glossary.
4.1.1.1: They’re not there, but they’re in the MuseBlog Glossary. An RRR is what we’d call an RR on the ChatterBox, except with the word ‘Riting attached to it. And RPGs and RPWs are RPs, except that RPWs are less personal and better-written than RPGs. It’s like the difference between a Warriors RP in PP and an original, non-faniction RP on Inkwell. Read a bit of both and it’ll be easy to tell what I mean.
Why can’t I reply on this thread, GAPAs?
Speaking of RRRs…. are there any that are still alive at the moment? I kind of miss them… but all of mine died.
The Steampunk Airship RRR could use some energetic participation.
Put on an etiquette section, please. I have probably forgotten some etiquette in my absence…it’s good to be back!
Have spam bots been attacking this page, GAPAs? Because I don’t think those asterisks were there before, am I right?
Correct. For some reason this page has been a spam magnet. We’re experimenting.
Where is the Emoticon guide?
Nebbermind. Found it.
Where’s the list of acceptable HTML?
See H*G*2*M*B -> Smileys and Code Tricks
(It’s on the drop down menu.)
Can you moderate the part with HG2MB? Both threads are closed (and have been that way for a while), and the only thing you can learn from the most recent posts is the Llama song (I checked it out as ‘phyte). Maybe it could be replaced by a link to the welcome ‘phytes thread?
When I first came, I had no idea where to go. So I ended up just posting in a random thread with something like hi. Luckily someone steered me towards the Welcome, Neophytes! thread but before they did I was clueless. It would be really helpful to have a link from HG2MB or the Rules to there.
Good idea, soccer starr. For now, I’ll just put a link in this comment: Welcome, Neophytes.
Thanks! I’m sure that will make things much easier!!!!
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to MuseBlog…… that’s funny
I’m totally new here and could someone show me to the
‘Welcome Neopyhtes” thread. If not my head will probably explode.
Welcome, and here it is:
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=2504
Please use commas. Anyway, welcome!!
*welcome yummy pies*
How can i make a picture thingy? You know, that shows up next to my name?
go to gravatar.com and make an account.
I can’t. Can the GAPAs do it for me?
I’m afraid not. The Gravatar website sends e-mail, to which you have to respond to verify the address connected with your gravatar.
what do you do after you have an account?
14.1.2- What do you mean?…
I like your avatar, by the way. Very cute.
reply to 14.1.3
You put images on your account and they will follow you everywhere you put down your Email address! simple as that.
Oh, and make sure you confirm the picture you want.
(sorry for the double post)
It’s working. Try refreshing the page, restarting the browser, or clearing the browser’s cache.
Can you keep your old avatar (the one that you were given when you first came to Museblog) even when you get a Gravatar account? I was thinking about changing mine, but I am rather fond of my monocled purple star…
No you can’t keep it after, but you could download it to your pictures and then put it on your gravatar.
two questions:
1) how do u change your avatar
2) i STILL don’t know how to make a thread.
puffpuff-san, please check back at the What’s Here thread for replies to your earlier comment. You cannot make a thread here, you can only request one.
To change your avatar, you Google “Gravatar” and get an account with the email address you use for posting.
Hope this helps!
1) Go to gravatar. com. All you need is legitamate email adress. 2) I already told you, you can’t, only the GAPAs can.
P.S. Please capitalize.
How do you change your picture?
Spam Alert!
Because I recall being confused during my ‘Phytehood, I shall define the various RPGs, and their abbreviations.
MA/Muse Academy: Muse Academy is a planned boarding school, which will be located in Iceland, I believe. It is also a RPG.
Alternate RPG: A RPG established with several strict rules. It began to wander away from those rules, and died. The few people still posting hurried it to a finish and left it there.
SH/MS, Superheros & Mary Sues, MS RPG, etc.: A RPG still theoretically active, but with very very few posts. About the conflicts of Mr. Joe, a personification of the
smiley, his evil army of perfect people, and the struggles of the less-than-perfect Superheros against him.
Alternate Muse Academy, Muse Academy Lunar, MAL, etc.: Another RPG, concerning a version of MA on the moon.
Alternate History RPW: An RPW consisting of a group of people with the ability to travel between alternate dimensions, who then send back reports.
Ships’ Logs: A unique phenomenon, involving writings in the journals of various ships, by the crew members of the various ships.
Muse Scouts: A rather silly thread involving the Muse Scouts, a play on Girl Scouts.
Sci Fi RPG: What it sounds like, a RPG set in a science fiction setting.
Alternate History RPW: An RPW consisting of a group of people with the ability to travel between alternate dimensions, who then send back reports.
Magic RPG: Another self-described RPG. Differing from the MS RPG by very little, aside from setting, plot line, antagonist, and characters.
Demigod RPG: An RPG based off of the idea of Percy Jackson and the Olympians, but wider, encompassing all mythologies. Gods with current worshipers are discouraged, however.
References to Antediluvian Academy are also referring to this RPG.
RPW 2009, Letters, England, 1874: A RPW involving the adventures of (currently) a set of young ladies and their future entanglements with a set of evil sorcerers.
That’s all, I believe. Perhaps one older than I can summarize the RRRs?
why isthe o *ed out it musebl*g?
It’s an anti-spambot thing, I think.
How do we ask for new threads? We need a new Paker game.
If you want to request a new thread, use the Suggestion Box. https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=5607
If a few people want a thread, the GAPAs will probably grant your request.
thanks
wow! it’s amazing but your Gravitar (it is a pokemon right) earlier today i got a toy and it looks just like that!!!!! i didn’t know!
What’s glomping, exactly? I know it’s done to old-timers who return after not posting for a long time, but I don’t know what it actually is.
I believe it’s a combination of a tackle and a hug.
I always received the impression that glomping was mildy onamonapoeic (I have no idea how to spell that). But yes, a combination of a tackle and a hug. Glomp.
For example, this is a picture of Spinda glomping Brock.
GLOMP!
25.3: Glomping does not look too fun for the glompee. Ehehe.
There’s used to be a poster in my math class that has lots of writing on it, including the word “Spam” about fifty bazillion times. Well, maybe not that many. But probably somewwhere close.
wow another
AMAZING! (i meant C-A-T)
What kind of spam?
SPAM IS A PERSON. MY WORST ENEMY. STAY AWAY FROM SPAM. I AM NOT KIDDING.
MMMMmmmm! more spam!
Umm… How did Agent Lightning’s post end up up there? Will mine do that too? *waits to see* Yep, I’m starting to draw some MBer/Discworld wizard parallels here
*coughtheGAPAscough*
What?! My comment went on top of a bunch of others..
The Voldemort Network, Voldynet, etc.
Blogular slang for a certain popular social networking site, direct references to which the GAPAs discourage. It was a relatively short leap of logic from “The Site Which Must Not Be Named” to “Voldemort Network,” at least for the minds around here.
H2G2: Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, a “what just happened?” but undeniably epic book by Douglas Adams that every MBer should read. The source of inside jokes about 42, towels, the apocalypse, fish, and so on. Or you can just watch the mov – *pied*
Can someone please define “welp”?
“Welp” is a version of “well”, just like “nope” is a version of “no”. You’d use it in a situation where you’d use “well” as a sort of throwaway interjection. For instance, “Well, I guess that pizza wasn’t poisonous after all,” could instead be, “Welp, I guess that pizza wasn’t poisonous after all.”
Hmmm, that’s weird- “Someone” posted on August 8th, yet is above everyone else here, and I can’t reply to it.
It looks as if a Ukrainian spambot has been targeting this thread. Nothing serious, I hope. But I don’t think it’s connected with “Someone,” who is more likely to be a pseudonymous MBer.
If Chuck Norris is on the glossary, Watership Down really ought to be too.
Spielmann: A hypothetical counterfactual-historical figure, first name unknown. Worse than Hitler. En is the reason that Hitler is now not assassinated by time travelers from the future; the Nazi era and World War II prevented Spielmann from existing. Gave ens name to the Spielmann Principle (any change made to the established timeline is virtually guaranteed to produce unintended negative consequences as well as the intended positive ones).
Anyone want to help us revise the HG2MB? Suggestions are welcome.
How did that comment end up there?! Perhaps we should just have a new thread for editing/revamping the HG2MB.
Something must have gone haywire when Rebecca deleted the spam. Yes, a separate thread would make sense.
what the heck is spam?
So what the heck is the chess thing! by witch I mean how do you play chess on the muse blog?
I don’t know. I agree with your question about chess. How DO you play chess on the site???
Ethan- since this ancient thread won’t let me post a direct reply- the chess games haven’t been very active on here for a whole, but generally it’s a match between two MBers who both click on the virtual chessboard in turns, moving pieces. If you ask nicely, the GAPAs set it up for you, but you need an account (generally granted after six months of activity on the blog) to play.
Also, the comment you replied to was pretty old: all of these organizational threads are pretty old: look at the time stamps. So if you’d like a reply from the person you responded to, I’m not sure en sticks around on the blog anymore.
Whats the difference between pie and squid? Is pie like and squid dislike?
Eggy Rice: Pies are essentially “likes” or congratulations. I don’t recall exactly how squids came about, but for whatever reason, squids started being given out as sympathy, and they eventually got incorporated into the comment system. For instance, if somebody posted about having a bad day, you might “squid” the post to offer your sympathy and support.
In answer to you other post on the calendars thread, yes, essentially, your name and birthday will get added if you post them in a comment. It won’t be instantaneous, however–the GAPAs are very busy and it could take days or longer.
Welcome to the ‘blog, by the way. I’m Luna. I’ve been around here on and off for several years (the amount I’m here tends to directly correlate with how little time I can afford to be spending here–which explains why I’m currently posting as I prepare to start my second all-nighter of the week, as I finally begin studying for tomorrow morning’s exam….I probably won’t be around near as much once my summer vacation begins. I also tend to ramble a lot as of late……)
I hope you find the ‘blog to your liking.
Thank you for the advice.I do like the blog.
How do you change your profile pic??
How do you “coin” words so that they get onto the glossary or the words you should know??? I’m going to try to do that: MTPAL (Museblogger That Posts A Lot).
I have not been on Museblog for long enough to be an MTPAL but I have made a bunch of posts today and I probably will be an MTPAL eventually.
Replying to Ethan (the thread seems to be slightly out of order):
First of all, welcome!
How to add something to the glossary: well, see if the abbreviation catches on and then ask the GAPAs to add it.
As for playing chess, there’s a thread for that somewhere around here where you can ask Robert (the GAPA who is our ultimate chess master).
To change your profile pic, I recommend making an account with gravatar using the same email you use here. Then the picture you set as avatar should show up here.
How come there are a bunch of * symbols?? They do not make any sense.