RRR, v. 2007.2 – Science-fiction, Part 4

1

Prarilius Canix

in June 8th, 2007 @ 16:15

Okay, I want first post, but I know that pointless posts get zapped and/or fined. Let me think… point… point…
Ah!
A warning to newbies: Please do not do a story post until you have read a summary and/or the entire story. This is a continuation of a previous RRR, not a new one.

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2

Alice

in June 8th, 2007 @ 16:22

Sweet. Now, I shall post the story so far, since it’s short:

Kerj was not a happy soul. Ever since the regenades KRI and JAA had destroyed the Parent’s headquarters, he had not been his usual self. He would keep muttering curse words under his breath, and sometimes exceptionally bad ones.
The only place the Parents still had left was their secret outpost on Mercury. Nobody ever went near the boiling hot planet, as it was useless to try and terraform something that close to the sun. But the Parents had seen it as a place to get some privacy.
LAQ, one of the very few Containers to survive the Great Container Revolt, walked up to Kerj. “SIR,” she said, “WHAT SHALL WE DO ABOUT THE REGENADES KRI AND-”
“QUIET!” Kerj roared. “YOU SHALL NEVER SAY THEIR NAMES IN FRONT OF ME. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?”
“YES, SIR.”
“TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION,” Kerj said, “LEAVE THEM ALONE. THEY THINK THEY’VE DEFEATED US, AND IT SHOULD STAY THAT WAY. AS LONG AS THEY DON’T KNOW SOME OF US SURVIVED, THEY WON’T BOTHER US ANYMORE.” He went into a rage of loud cursing at the memories of when he purposely missed a shot fired at Kari. Oh, why hadn’t he given her what she deserved then, before she caused so much destruction?

â€œRadiation suits?” asked Jaa.
“Check.”
“Food?”
“Not real food,” muttered Ian.
“Oh, don’t be silly,” said Kari. “The Preservers are sure to have real food. Check.”
“Enough fuel to get us to Terra?”
Kari glanced at the fuel light. “Probably.”
This was far from comforting to Ian, but Jaa and Kari seemed to think it sufficient, because Jaa said. “Great! I think we’re ready.”
Ian was glad. Ever since he heard that the Preservers had created a Terran habitat, he was very eager to go.
Ian stepped up the entry stairs to the Victory’s cockpit and strapped himself into one of the control chairs. Jaa and Kari filed in after him.
“Ready for this?” Kari inquired playfully.
Ian grinned. “When have I not been?”
“For the past few weeks,” Kari said.
“Why youâ€¦!” Ian exclaimed, half in fury, half in laughter. He was fumbling for the buckle on the straps when Kari started up the engines. All three of them were slammed back into their seats as the Victory accelerated away from the Red Planet.
“I don’t think the Parents are a threat to us anymore,” Jaa said to Kari, who was still a little bit worried about how the Parent’s headquarters hadn’t been totally destroyed. “Even if the bomb didn’t destroy the entire headquarters, I’m sure all the Containers I programmed hunted down every last one. I programmed them to fight to the death.”
“I hope you’re right,” said Kari, sounding just as worried as before.
“I’m sure I’m right,” said Jaa.
It was Ian who realized the impending doom. “Kari,” he said suddenly, “you still have a microchip.”
Kari knew this was a problem. Even if the Parents wouldn’t go after her, the police would, so she needed to get it off as soon as possible.
Even though having a microchip was a real problem, Kari winced at the thought of the pain she had to endure the last time she removed her microchip. “Jaa,” she said, “Hand me an autospear. And some bandages. I’m going to carve the microchip out of my arm.”
Ian turned pale. “Right now?”
“Yes, right now. And I’m looking forward to it a lot less than you are.”
“I don’t like blood . . .” muttered Ian.
“Then don’t look,” said Kari, annoyed. “At least the blood won’t be your own!”

“There’s Terra!” said Jaa, looking at the ship’s radar. He was steering now, as Kari now had one very painful wound on her right arm.
“Are you okay?” Ian asked Kari, as he was willing to look now that her arm was bandaged.
“I’mâ€¦..I’m okay,” said Kari. “This hurt a lot less than when I burned the microchip out of my arm.” Ian shuddered at the thought.
“Where exactly are the Preservers on Terra?” Jaa called from the front seat. “The entrance to their underground habitat is right near the South Pole, in the research facilities,” Kari called back.
“And what exactly are they?” Ian asked.
“I’m not sure. They seem to be people who preserved a bit of Terra deep underground. But they somehow know about the Parents and Containers, and they hate them deeply.”
Ian smiled, a little nervously. “Maybe I should go in first.â€
“I think you should,” said Kari. “They didn’t like me the moment I walked in the door.”
“Well, put on your radiation suits,” Jaa said, looking through the main window at the approaching dim-green planet. “We’re coming in for a landing!”
Ian stepped into the rickety elevator and it creaked down, down, down. He was beginning to have misgivings, but he shoved them aside, or tried to. “They are not like the Parents,” he muttered to himself as he descended. “They don’t even like the Parents. I don’t look like a Container. They won’t suspect me.” But it didn’t work very well.
The elevator opened. Ian cautiosly stepped out into the dimly lit tunnel. The fact that it twisted and turned didn’t help. He was getting a bad case of the heebie-jeebies.
“They are not the Parents,” he said to himself again. “And they have a Terran habitat. That I really want to see.” That helped a little bit. He started to walk through the tunnel.
Suddenly he ran back to the elevator in fright when a sudden flash of light lit up the tunnel. Then he remembered Kari’s words: “When you get toward the end of the tunnel, a light will come on. Then there’s a sign, and beyond that is a door. Ignore the sign, and go straight to the door.”
Ian ran back through the now-bright tunnel. Now that he could see fairly far in front of him, he wasn’t as afraid. He went up to the door and opened it eagerly. Then he looked through the door.
He trembled with excitement. This was what Terra was like in it’s golden days! It was so different from what he had imagined, and yet so much better than he expected!
He had no idea that so much beauty still existed in the solar system.
Suddenly, a small, dark-haired boy leaped up from behind a shrub. “Outsider!” he yelled, and began to run down the slope.
Uh-oh, thought Ian, and wished that Kari and Jaa had come with him. Or at least, he wished that until he remembered that them being there would only make it worse.
“Wait, come back!” said Ian, chasing the small boy through the brush. The boy, used to running through dense jungle, quickly got out of Ian’s sight.
Ian looked around. Terra must’ve been a very strange place. Were these “trees”, or some sort of pillar? Were these green flat things good to eat? What was this brown stuff on the ground? Was it good to eat too? Ian tasted some. “AAAG” he gagged, spitting it out. The flavor of this stuff was vile.
He looked around, and spied a few red balls hanging from a “tree”. He reached up to grab one, and it felt suprisingly soft. He took a bite. It tasted really good! He ate it with gusto, and picked another, and was about to eat it too when a voice called out, “STOP!”
Ian turned. A man in a white coat like the one Kari had described was standing about 50 feet away, with the small boy beside him. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING EATING OUR PEACHES?” Ian turned pale. “ARE YOU FROM THE PARENTS?” the man questioned.
Ian found the strength to speak up. “No,” he said loudly, “I’m not fom the Parents, and neither are my friendsâ€¦.We despise them, they tried to destroy my home to create a new Terraâ€¦”
The man lowered his tone of voice, and walked closer. “Who are your friends?”
“Um . . .” faltered Ian. “There names are Kari and Jaa. You’ve met Kari. But she’s not a Container! I mean, she is a Container, but she’s a renegade!” The man watched stonily as Ian tried to explain.
“I mean, me and my friends have rebelled from the Parents, and we’ve destroyed them, and now we want to help youâ€¦.uhâ€¦.yea.”
“Can you prove this?” the man asked.
“Shouldn’t the fact that they aren’t around anymore be proof enough?” came a clear voice from the door. It was Kari, and with her was Jaa. “We got sick of waiting,” said Kari. “And besides, Terra isn’t exactly a sight for sore eyes.”
Jaa said nothing at all. He was looking around him, his eyes wide with wonder and memory.
He didn’t have the same experience Ian had when he came in. To Ian, everything was new, mysterious, and unknown. To Jaa, it brought back a flood of memories from his earlier days. There’s a tree! he thought. I used to climb those!
“What difference does it make if they haven’t shown up for a few cycles?” barked the man. Jaa snapped out of his reverie.
“You mean they don’t bother you anymore?” Kari asked.
“What do you mean?” said the man. “They’ve been trying to sneak spies in here to find out what we’ve been doing for the past 200 cycles! They keep sending them every few cycles, so I see no reason why you shouldn’t be more spies trying to fool me!”
“Look at Ian,” sighed Kari in exasperation. “Does he look like a Container?”
For once, the man didn’t have a comeback.
“All right,” he finally said. “Come with me,”
“Thank you,” said Jaa, remembering Terran manners.
“You’re welcome,” the man replied gruffly.
They began walking through what seemed to be somewhere between a forest and a jungle. “Be careful not to step on the pitcher plants,” the man said, pointing toward the ground right in front of Ian. What was there looked like a small jar with a spiky lid.
“Thank you,” said Ian, copying Jaa. “I might’ve gotten hurt.”
“What’s that got to do with it?” the man said, carefully stepping over a small shrub. “The pitcher plant is one of the rarest plants we have around here, and it wouldn’t be a nice place around here if the two we have left are trampled on!”
“What’s a plant?” Ian asked suddenly.
“You should probably keep quiet,” whispered Kari. “This person doesn’t seem to be in a good mood.”
But at that strange (thought to Ian it was quite normal) question, the man laughed out loud. “You really aren’t from the Parents, then. A plant is anything that grows in the dirt and has roots.”
“Oh,” said Ian, feeling foolish and knowledgeable at the same time. “A tree has roots.”
“Yes, a tree is a very large plant.”
“Wow,” said Ian, lost for words.
Kari looked back. Ian was still staring at a tree. “Come on, hurry up,” she said. “You don’t want to get left behind!”
“I’m coming,” Ian said.
“We grow all our own food here,” said the man as they walked out of the jungle-forest and into the feilds of Terran crops. “We try to make our lives here as much like it was on Terra 200 years ago as possible.”
“What are those?” said Ian, pointing to a few bushes. He was still curious.
“Those are plants that produce raspberries,” said the man.
“Can I try one?” said Ian. Everything appeared to be edible, but these looked like they had a nice flavor, as opposed to the brown stuff on the ground.
“I do not suggest you eat their raspberries,” the man told Ian. “They are still green. See?”
Ian did not look to see, as he was already running toward the next group of plants.
“What about this?” he asked, indicating a plant with roughly triangular leaves. The man smiled.
“Potatoes,” he said. “You can’t eat the leaves, only the roots.”
“Oh,” said Ian, wrinkling his brow.
Kari grinned at Jaa. “He’s like a child in a candy shop,” she whispered.
“A candy shop full of rare and flavorful candies,” returned Jaa.
Kari figured it was time she got some answers. “Why do the Parents hate you so much?” she asked.
The man sighed. “At the beginning of World War Last, we were all just peaceful scientists trying to preserve our home. That’s why we called ourselves the Preservers. But after we went underground, a man called Sebastian Kahn proposed a radical plan to create a new Terra. We were excited at first, but soon we realized that it would entail the destruction of all life on Mars and several asteroids.”
“This sounds very familiar,” whispered Ian to Jaa.
“We flat-out refused. More than that, since Kahn had violated one of the basic tenets of our society- preservation of life- we expelled him. He took a group of fanatical followers and left.
The society he founded is still around today- or would be, if you hadn’t blown up their headquarters recently.”
“Good Lord,” Jaa gasped. “The Parents? Then Sebastian Kahn-”
“Was the High Patrician, yes.”

That was actually a totally ridiculous thing to do, but fun!

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3

Alice

in June 8th, 2007 @ 16:38

1- Yeah. And the “whole story” that I posted, is the whole Part 3, not the whole story. Because we have to make 3 parts in one novel, and this is the final one.

That didn’t make any sense if you don’t already know what I’m talking about, but who really cares? I can explain it in more detail if anyone wants me too.

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4

Alice

in June 8th, 2007 @ 16:48

Long thread. I wonder why. Anyhow:

~~~~~~
“Well, he’s dead now,” said Jaa, very much relieved. He might have said more, but Ian suddenly broke off with a gasp of terror.
As usual, he hadn’t been listening to the conversation, but this time he had a better excuse. He was gazing around, totally blissful, when he saw it. A large brown thing, with floppy ears and a thing that Ian assumed must be a tail, like some Terran creatures in books had, was coming right towards him at a very fast clip.
~~~~~
I’m having fun describing Ian’s reaction to ordinary things. This is a dog, if you couldn’t guess.

I suppose we’d better get on with the plot at some point, but in the meantime expect to encounter lots of scenes like this.

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5

E2MB

in June 8th, 2007 @ 16:52

Okay…….cool. A new thread. I need to check and see what this High Patrician stuff is and then I will write.

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6

E2MB

in June 8th, 2007 @ 16:53

I can’t find it. Can somebody explain?

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7

E2MB

in June 8th, 2007 @ 17:02

4 – Yes, this is fun, isn’t it? I was planning to have this sort of scene in one of the Mars rotating habitats, but this does just as well.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Help!” screamed Ian, and he ran away, but the thing was faster then him. He fell over as the thing leaped on his back and started to lick him.
“AAAAAUUUGGGHHH!!!!!” screamed Ian. “GET ME OUT OF HERE!”
The man went over and picked the thing up off of Ian’s back. “That would be a dog,” he said, grinning. “Maybe we’d better go inside the main headquarters.”
Ian protested, saying he wanted to stay and explore more of the Terran habitat, even though some of it scared him, but eventually followed Kari, Jaa, and the man into the Preserver’s main building.

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8

E2MB

in June 8th, 2007 @ 17:05

The word count so far is 2,348.

Remember, this story should be concluded by word # 15,000.

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25

Prarilius Canix

in June 11th, 2007 @ 21:35

I’ll be gone for a few days, just to let you know.

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26

Kiki the Great

in June 12th, 2007 @ 16:04

I have a question. I haven’t been following this RRR since the first thread, when I actually contributed, and I was wondering, what’s with the capital-letter speak?

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27

E2MB would like to encourage everyone to join an RRR because RRRs are cool and it would be a shame to see any RRR die

in June 12th, 2007 @ 17:00

26 –

1) If you’re lost, go to the Terraformed edit thread. The complete text of both parts 1 and 2 are there. From then, you can find the entire text of Part 3 at the top of this thread.

2) The Parents and non-regenade Containers talk in all-caps.

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28

E2MB

in June 12th, 2007 @ 17:02

26 –

1) If you’re lost, go to the Terraformed edit thread. The complete text of both parts 1 and 2 are there. From then, you can find the entire text of Part 3 at the top of this thread.

2) The Parents and non-regenade Containers talk in all-caps.

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29

E2MB

in June 12th, 2007 @ 17:14

Huh? What happened? Why’d it submit twice?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Do you even know where to get any?” Kari questioned Ian.
“Er…no…” Ian said in a small voice.
Jaa quickly intervened. “They mine it in asteroid 8128_AIRE,” he replied.
“But the 8128 asteroids are on the other side of the sun!” Kari exclaimed.
“I never said we were going there.” Jaa looked at the Preserver. “Do you know of any other places where uranicium-136 is mined?”
“Me?” the Preserver looked suprised. “I didn’t even know you could obtain it from as close as the asteroid realm. All I know is that a while ago space probes found a few deposits of it on Triton, but Triton is too cold for any machinery to properly work there. That, and it’s too far away.”

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30

Alice

in June 12th, 2007 @ 18:26

in June 13th, 2007 @ 15:15

Anyone wanna see it? Actually, that is beside the point. You’re seeing it, period.

The Sci-fi RRR was created on February 2, 2007. On February 3, Prarilius Canix posted the first segment of story in Comment 25, quickly followed by several more story posts by various people. The first confusion appeared on February 11, in Comments 45 and 46, due to conflicting posts by Shadow049 and Shadowkat, but was corrected by Kiki the Great, in Comment 54 on February 12. The Containers were created by Pentatonikk in Comment 49, and developed more thoroughly in Comments 57 to 65. The story continued smoothly for a while, but began to peter out in late February. In early March two people arrived, both newcomers, grnqween2011 and daviddude. Despite this, the RRR began to look decidedly dead. In Comments 95 through 97, several hurried endings were tried, but were dispelled by Pentatonikk on March 8, along with a promise to write later. On March 15, Lord Ragevuire the Shadow Mage appeared. The story went fairly smoothly for a time, but then Alice, another newcomer to the blog, followed up a link by daviddude and found the RRR. Her debut post stated that she had writer’s block, but on March 29, she posted her first and not-very-good piece of story, and unwittingly created one of the main weapons in Terraformed. Slight confusion ensued, but with the four writers, the thread remained active. On April 5, FrigidSymphony appeared, asking for a synopsis. He never returned. In Comment 183, on April 6, Prarilius Canix returned from a long absence and brought into play the Preserved Terran Habitats. Ian and Kari were captured in between posts 191 and 192, and Kerj appeared for the first time in Comment 194. The story remained comprehensible, and on April 10, a new thread was made, a rare occurrence, since the old thread had only 211 posts. On the new thread, Kiki the Great admitted that she was not cut out to be Keeper, and surrendered the position, preferring to stick with writing. In Comment 10, Prarilius Canix pointed out the several inconsistencies in the last 12 posts, and the story was rewound to before Comment 209 on the previous thread. A few of the original writers retuned to gape in awe at the length of the story, but other than that, nothing groundbreaking happened. A MuseBlogger known as pie parade appeared briefly. In Comment 39, agagabagabag made a single post and was never seen again. There was slight confusion, but it was fixed fairly guickly. In Comment 62, it was revealed that Kerj and Kari were siblings. The end of Part One was made by Prarilius Canix on April 17 in Comment 82. The writers proceeded to edit it, until a new editing thread was made on April 19. On April 28, Comment 102, Prarilius Canix said that it was the first RRR ever to have conclusion. It was immediately proposed that they write a sequel, and it was begun by Alice in post 121, on April 19. The same day, some 12 posts later, she made a list of all contributors. Throughout the editing, Cat’s Meow was prominent, but she posted only once, in Comment 271. On April 26, in Comment 204, one of the original contributors, twilightswordsman, reappeared, and disappeared again. The second thread lasted 316 posts, but a third was created on May 1. The third thread attracted no newbies, oddly enough, but on May 9, Comment 63, Lord Ragevuire the Shadow Mage returned, but neglected to write, saying he had writer’s block. From May 12 to May 19, E2MB (formerly daviddude) was on vacation and only five story-posts were made in that period. In Comment 158, on May 24, E2MB fleshed out one of the false endings and created the Preservers. The sequel, hereby known as Callisto, was finished on May 28, in Comment 203, and continued on the same day, 10 posts later. Both Lord Ragevuire the Shadow Mage and Prarilius Canix disappeared for a considerable amount of time in late May and early June, but both reappeared before the fourth thread, which came into being on June 8. Kiki the Great came back long enough to ask a few questions, having been seen only briefly since the second thread, but as of yet has written nothing.

It was actually really fun to put together.

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37

Alice

in June 13th, 2007 @ 15:35

You know what’s weird? Amanda, one of the original writers, posted a desperate plea for help, and since then has not been seen. Strange, no? What’s the point of asking people to come and write, if you don’t come back to see who replied?

~~~~~~~
“Pretty much all?” echoed Kari suspiciously. “You mean that they didn’t all die?”
The Preserver noticed this, even if he had failed to catch the more subtle implications. “What do you mean?” he asked thunderously. “I thought you said that you had destroyed them!”

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38

E2MB

in June 13th, 2007 @ 16:39

37 – I thought that weird too. She’s been around since the beginnings of MuseBlog.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jaa stuttered. “I mean, Kerj is so indestructible he might have survived, depending on his position relative to the bomb when it went off.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For some reason this doesn’t seem to line up quite right with posts 17 & 18.

36 – Very cool. It sounds like a Wikipedia article. [/random generalization] Though I see that you are modest about your contributions.

The sci-fi RRR in a nutshell (for those who don’t have much time to read Alice’s):

PC started the story 2/3/07, and many people breifly appeared for about 2 weeks, posted several times, then left. Gradually the once extremely active RRR lost writers. Eventually, the sci-fi RRR was on the verge of abandonment, but one last cry from a leaving writer brought 2 new people (green qween and E2MB), who attempted to end the story right then and there. However, this ended in confusion and was deleted from the story. Then nobody posted for a week (except for a daily “Helloooooooo?” post from E2MB). Then two new writers appeared (alice and LR) and the story moved on bravely forward once again. Then PC (the origional poster) came back and the story continued with such gusto it was concluded quickly, 2 months and 17 days after it’s start. A sequel was immediately started, though throughout the entire course of it’s writing, only one new contributer came, Cat’s Meow. She posted once, then left MuseBlog shortly after never to be seen again. But with 4 dedicated writers (PC, Alice, E2MB, and LR) and a few random contributions from some of the origional writers, the sequel was soon completed. A sequel to the sequel was immediately started, and though it is being written relatively quickly, has yet to accumulate any new writers.

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39

in June 15th, 2007 @ 16:37

Hi, just letting you guys know I’m hre, because if I don’t you always seem hopelessly lost. I’m joking.

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50

Prarilius Canix

in June 15th, 2007 @ 18:03

“All right,” said Jaa, trying to calm everyone down. “Kari and I will head to Mercury in the Victory to investigate the Parents base-”
“If there is a Parents base,” Kari said, but Jaa ignored her.
” -and if possible, get hold of some nanotech. Do the Preservers have any ships?”
“There are some in the old research station above ground.”
“Okay, Ian will go to 8128-AIRE in one of those and purchase some uranicium-136.”
“That won’t work,” the Preserver said. “For this plan, we’d need thousands of tons of uranicium-136.”
“Obviously,” Jaa said, “you aren’t familiar with the Rosenberg process.”
“Actually, we are, but it’s only theoretical, and completely impractical.”
“Not since I perfected it.” This elicited a startled gasp, but Jaa plowed on. “It requires large amounts of carbon and oxygen- quite plentiful elements- and only small amounts of tritium and uranicium-136. When made into a colloid and subjected to high-wavelength radiation such as an epsilon beam, the resultant excited protons- ”
“Cut the technical detail,” snapped Kari.
“With certain equipment, we can make large amounts of uranicium-136 out of other elements and a small amount of uranicium.”
“Okay, then. Let’s go.”

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51

Alice

in June 15th, 2007 @ 18:09

“Hang on!” cried Ian. “I’m going alone? To 8128-AIRE? I can’t even [the word eludes me. Fly? Drive? Steer?] a ship! I can’t!”

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52

Prarilius Canix

in June 15th, 2007 @ 18:31

“You can learn the same way I did,” Kari said mischievously.
“How?”
“Trial and error.”
Despite his protests, Ian was dragged bodily across the habitat and into the elevator. Jaa held him down while Kari grabbed several radiation suits and located a hangar. Ian was shoved unceremoniously into his suit, and once Kari and Jaa had put theirs on, they dragged him down the hall, through a door, and into the cockpit of a ship that looked as though it was two hundred years old. Which it was.

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53

E2MB

in June 15th, 2007 @ 20:25

51 – Control.

in June 16th, 2007 @ 15:42

58- Hmph. I would read a 36,000 word novel (and all the other posts on the old threads) without (much) hesitation. Does that mean I’m crazy or does it mean I’m dedicated?

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60

Purple Panda

in June 16th, 2007 @ 16:13

I’ll join, if you need another writer. I’ll probably have to start next month, though, because I’m leaving for Mexico in a few days. But around the middle of June I have a 10 hour car trip to get to MI (where I will be spending the majority of the summer), and I can read the threads during that time. How does that work?

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61

Alice

in June 16th, 2007 @ 16:18

60- Oh would you? Thank you so much! I know that this is a really active thing and it isn’t necessary to have more writers, but the different writing styles look a lot more like . . . well . . . different writing styles.

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62

Alice

in June 16th, 2007 @ 18:08

You know what we should do when we’re done with this one? We should develop this:

The entire asteroid belt was coming under the banner of the mining barons, and Ceres was the last of the lonely little planetoids that retained some degree of freedom. Kari knew. She’d seen the corruption on Ida, Dactyl, and XG1 23- the list went on. Ceres was going to fall. It was inevitable.

We could have one of the kids – Ian would be best – get kidnapped or arrested for blowing up Io and the various other crimes that our trio has committed, and then Kari and Jaa would have to rescue him (naturally) and they would find out that the Solan Republic was really doing something bad. I’m going to snip that nice little paragraph because it doesn’t fit with this story, but it would make a good sequel.

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63

Lord Ragevuire the Shadow Mage, Arch Deathseeker, and leader of the Kraliocc

in June 16th, 2007 @ 19:07

62-OOOOH….Yeah….

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64

E2MB

in June 16th, 2007 @ 19:21

59 – Well, you are, in an aspect, unique on MuseBlog. You’d join pretty much any RRR, even if it includes stuff you don’t like (like RRR 2007.5), since you’ve said your mission is to leave no RRR unfinished. So I’d say you’re pretty darn ~~crazy~~ dedicated.

60 – Oh yes, join us. This thread is very active, but it’s always good to…you know…have another brain working to devise more plot.

62 – Good idea! That could be the first part of CERES, if we’re not too exhausted by then.

Outline of the series, so far:

Book 1 – Terraformed: IO
Book 2 – Terraformed: CALLISTO
Book 3 – Terraformed: MERCURY
Book 4 – Terraformed: TERRA (from my idea)
Book 5 – Terraformed: CERES (from Alice’s idea)

I shall explain book 4. Book 4 documents Ian, Kari, Jaa, and the Preserver’s progress on terraforming Terra. We can put it after CERES, but it seems a little more logical this way.

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65

Alice

in June 16th, 2007 @ 19:43

Exhausted is right. But who cares!

This thing is going to be so long . . . Let’s say 16,000 words a book (to be on the safe side) and 5 books. Therefore, we have about 80,000 words. Wait a minute . . . *does double take* 80,000 words!?!?!?!?!? *faints*

Let me get this straight. Is this still in the one book? Because I know that I would be more likely to pick up this story if it was in one book rather than several, but 80,000 words is an awful lot . . .

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66

E2MB

in June 16th, 2007 @ 20:09

65 – On a related note: J R Tolkien wanted his story to be one big book, but the editors refused because it wasn’t physically possible to publish it that way!

Well, whenever I look at an 80,000-word novel I get a little afraid. Where will I ever find enough time to read it?

If we put them out as a series, people with short attention spans (which is most everybody nowadays) will read the small first book, and then eagerly read the small second book as soon as it’s published, then the third, etc.

But maybe we’re getting a little ahead of ourselves. Maybe we should write the stories first.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He flipped down the screen and went over to the control board, looking at all the buttons. He noticed a new one he hadn’t seen before. It had a label that read, “FIND KRJ.” Ian, curious, pressed it.
An image zoomed in on Mercury’s dark side. The words at the bottom of the image read, “KRJ LOCATED: MERCURY 54’40” 20’33”.”
Ian ran over to the flip-up screen again. He double checked the numbers. Yes, 54’40” and 20’33” were there. Something was very suspicious about this. He had to tell Kari and JAa.
Ian picked up the radio and dialed the Victory‘s number. Only after the busy signal beeped did he realize that he was on the Victory, and that Kari and Jaa were on an unregistered ancient Terran ship. Ian slumped into the pilot’s chair, and pounded random buttons on the radio in frustration.
Suddenly a voice crackled. “THIS IS KRJ,” a voice said. Ian’s eyes opened wide.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now we’re wide open for new plot development.

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67

Alice

in June 16th, 2007 @ 20:16

64- I forgot to say, thank you. For saying that I am unique and crazy, both of which I will take as compliments.

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68

Red-tailed HAWK

in June 16th, 2007 @ 20:28

66-Two “R”s. Just thought I would mention.

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69

Alice

in June 16th, 2007 @ 20:35

in June 17th, 2007 @ 19:21

in June 20th, 2007 @ 17:41

in June 22nd, 2007 @ 11:09

Okay, this is kind of random, but PC, you are 12/13 and please tell me you live in CA, because I’m looking for Californian MBers. (‘Cause I am one.)

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106

Alice

in June 22nd, 2007 @ 11:39

105- He lives in California somewhere, I know. Just like everyone else on the west coast…

Ugh.

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107

E2MB

in June 22nd, 2007 @ 12:46

106 – Northern California.

I am writing this from a library computer in Carmel.

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108

E2MB

in June 22nd, 2007 @ 12:47

“All right,” said Jaa, turning on the autopilot. “What now?”
“Well, we should come up with a plan for what to do when we get to Mercury,” Kari said.

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109

Cat's Meow

in June 22nd, 2007 @ 21:31

What book are we working on now? Still 2? 3?

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110

Alice

in June 24th, 2007 @ 17:35

in June 26th, 2007 @ 20:15

114 – Oh yea. :guilty grin: Change that to

Kerj sighed. This was not good. Even though the Parents were respected by the government, they had been doing a few illegal activites because they thought they could get away with it. Had they finally been caught?

115 – I keep doing that!

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0

133

Alice

in July 2nd, 2007 @ 00:05

in July 3rd, 2007 @ 16:15

Prarilus Canix – did you see that the Time Travel RRR is up?

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142

Alice

in July 4th, 2007 @ 15:06

I had an idea. As you know, this story is wearing thin. When we are done with this part (Mercury), and have edited, etc., I propose we leave it be. We will ask the GAPAs for a publishing thread, where we will discuss the publishing of our lovely story. When we feel thoroughly refreshed, we can start Ceres (or Terra. We can just call it Terraformed sequel). In order not to discourage newbies, we won’t make them read the first three parts, but we will post a brief summary and character sketches, telling them everything they need to know about this story. Then when the sequel is done (it will be a second book, remember) we’ll try to publish that, which shouldn’t be hard if we succeed in publishing Terraformed.

Explanation is over, I will now write.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kerj did not for a second wonder as to the identities of the three new Containers. That they were disobeying him (he, KRJ, the Parents’ favorite Container!) was enough to assure him who they were. Or at least who one of them was: KRI, his rebellious little sister. And that would mean that with her was the scientist, JAA, and the otherâ€“the other must be the impure boy.
It did not take more than three seconds for his Container brain to work this out and come to a conclusion: they must die.

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143

E E2 E2M E2MB 2MB MB

in July 4th, 2007 @ 17:35

142 – Hmm, yea. The first three books are sort of a trilogy, anyway.

in July 5th, 2007 @ 13:19

144 – Well, it seemed to be the only way out of the situation, and I had some inspiration.

in July 5th, 2007 @ 16:14

162- Fractured Fairy Tale.

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164

E2MB

in July 5th, 2007 @ 18:14

in July 6th, 2007 @ 21:37

I just realized that I made a rather largish mistake. Okay, so it’s not too bad, but I want to fix it before I forget.

in July 7th, 2007 @ 20:24

195 – Well, I don’t mind it one bit. *thumbs up* We might actually finish Part 3 before I leave for several weeks on July 17th!

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197

Alice

in July 7th, 2007 @ 20:26

192- Kari was kidnapped when she was three. So there couldn’t have been a frosting incident on her seventh birthday . . .
195- I know what you mean. It’s my only project right now too, but I still don’t write as much as you…

*hopes the internet doesn’t go down* I have to go now, but I shall return!

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198

E2MB

in July 7th, 2007 @ 20:46

So Kerj, all this time, was really a brainwashed, reprogrammed Regenade, and gets reunited with his sister? That’s really nice. And it makes the boss the REAL bad guy, as is often in movies I’ve seen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jaa frantically ran through a hallway, and another, and another. Eventually he found the door. He shoved it open.
QIN and SAJ looked up from their keyboards. “It’s you?” QIN said, her voice sounding suprised. “The Regenade,” said SAJ, lowering his eyebrows.
Jaa ran forward, trying to think of something. Suddenly he did. “Stop!” he cried. “The settings for the anti-gravity machines are wrong!”
QIN shrugged. “Everything seems to be going fine,” she said.
SAJ glared hard. “What do you think you’re doing?” he said suspiciously. “Trying to mess up our Project NeoTerra?”
QIN, a more trusting Container, got up from her chair. “If something’s wrong, then fix it,” she said, motioning with her hand toward the keyboard. “He did invent the anti-gravity machines, after all,” she then whispered to SAJ. SAJ still glared at Jaa.
Jaa walked over. He took one look and saw something was indeed wrong. At the speed Ceres and Mars would collide, they would shatter and peices would fly all over Solana. And they were going to collide in only 90 seconds! He quickly moved the lever up, depositing as much nuclear material into the anti-gravity machines as possible. Ceres started to slow down.
SRJ, interpreting the frantic lever-moving as a vandalization of the precise settings, jumped out of his chair and tackled Jaa, sending them both sprawling on the floor, dogfighting.

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199

Alice

in July 7th, 2007 @ 21:27

Okay, now I will write. (Now that there’s no moderation.)
~~~~~~~
“NO!” screamed Sebastian Kahn, shocked by the sight of a favored Container turned against him.
“Yes!” said Kerj, grappling with the older man. “I’m not a robot anymore, built to do your will!” He was furious, and that lent him strength that he ought not to have, with the nanobots beginning to run out. He might have won, too, had Kahn remained in a state of shock and denial, but unfortunately, Kahn was not one to waste time. He pulled an autospear seemingly from nowhere, and with it he slashed Kerj’s arms until the newly-made-renegade was forced to abandon the cause. He knelt, dripping blood onto the shining floor, and Sebastian Kahn raised the autospear . . .
And lowered it again. Whatever his purpose, it would seem that he had no desire to kill Kerj. He turned instead to Kari, who was firing wildly and randomly in an attempt to make the Parents stationed on the lower tiers stop their frenzied [whatever they’re doing, I can’t think of the word right now]. He collapsed the autospear and dropped it onto the floor where he stood on it to prevent the bleeding Kerj from snatching it in a last effort to kill the mastermind of Project Neoterra, and drew out a gun the likes of which no one had seen before.
[description of gun, because you wouldn’t believe how unimaginative I am when it comes to guns.]
He took careful aim at Kari, still oblivious to all around her, and pulled the trigger.
~~~~~~~
Someone save her! It won’t be hard, actually. Maybe I’ll do it.

When it comes to killing Sebastian Kahn, could Ian do the honors? It would be interesting to see how he would react to having killed someone. (God, I’m cruel.)

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200

Alice

in July 7th, 2007 @ 21:34

198- Yeah, didn’t you know?

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201

E2MB

in July 7th, 2007 @ 21:40

Yay!!! Our posts don’t conflict!!!

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202

Alice

in July 7th, 2007 @ 21:44

210- I know, isn’t it cool?

Go to the edit thread, a surprise is waiting for you.

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203

in July 7th, 2007 @ 22:43

Copy it onto your hard drive!

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207

Prarilius Canix

in July 7th, 2007 @ 22:53

Bloody-nosed, Kerj was shoved against the wall and held down by his look-alikes. Kahn looked up, but it seemed that Kari and Ian had run back into the tungsten chamber.
~~~
Actually, Ian had dragged Kari back. “Listen to me,” he said, trying to restrain her, “we have no chance out there. Kerj’s clones are coming out of stasis.”
“And my brother is down there with them!” Kari hissed, and broke free, making for the gap and flinging herself down the first three tiers. Ian rushed out after her.
~~~
A small Container rushed up to Kahn holding an electronic tablet. “BULLETIN, SIR.”
Kahn gasped. He had made a mistake in his calculations- but the renegade JAA had corrected it! Now, if he could just get to JAA before he began guiding Ceres back into its orbit…
~~~
Jaa, meanwhile, had gotten away from QIN and was trying to do just what Kahn didn’t want when a red light flashed on the console. “LOW POWER,” blared an electric voice.
EMERGENCY CIRCUIT, Jaa typed.
ALREADY ON EMERGENCY.
TERTIARY CIRCUIT, Jaa typed desperately. QIN was getting to her feet.
WARNING: TERTIARY CIRCUIT ACTIVATION=HIGH OVERLOAD PROBABILITY. ACTIVATE? Y/N
Jaa hit Y two of the three times necessary to complete the triple confirmation, but he missed the third one as QIN tackled him. He was short and slight, while QIN was large and strong, but he was fast. He slipped out of her grip and pressed the final Y.

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208

E2MB

in July 7th, 2007 @ 23:10

I need to get the image in post 205 deleted as soon as possible, so let me know when you’ve seen/downloaded it.

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209

E2MB

in July 7th, 2007 @ 23:11

204 – Full word count of trilogy = 43,851!!!!

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210

Alice

in July 7th, 2007 @ 23:22

We’re nearly done. I’m not sure whether to be happy or sad. Maybe I should just go edit. But first I’ll write a piece.
~~~~~~
They pulled him off of Kahn, and two of the replicas held the real Kerj, keeping him from breaking free. The third put a gun against his forehead. “I WILL SHOOT,” he/it said. “DO NOT MOVE.”
Sebastian Kahn stood up. He put a hand on the shoulder of the replica holding the gun. “KRJ3, give me the gun,” he said coldly. “I will deal with this one, before I kill his despicable sister.” KRJ3 complied, and stood by, waiting for orders. He did not have to wait long. “Kill the impure,” said Kahn. “He has been far too resilient.”
“YES, SIR,” said KRJ3, but the High Patrician cut him off.
“I have had a better idea,” he said. “Do not kill himâ€“capture him. It will never hurt to have an extra Container. And if I understand correctly, this boy’s name is Ian. He will be a nice replacement for the previous IAN.”
~~~~~~
I want to kill Sebastian Kahn, but we can’t make it go too quickly.

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211

Alice

in July 7th, 2007 @ 23:28

205- Cool! I’ll copy it in a second.

We’re using Canix’s, I take it.

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212

Alice

in July 7th, 2007 @ 23:33

206- Got it.

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213

Alice

in July 8th, 2007 @ 10:34

I’m not sure what a tertiary circuit is, so I can’t really continue.

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214

Prarilius Canix

in July 8th, 2007 @ 13:35

Kari suddenly slammed into Kahn’s back, knocking him off balance, but KRJ4 reached up and grabbed her.
“Put her out the airlock,” Kahn said coldly.
Ian rushed down the steps, but he was too late. KRJ3 snatched him up and hurled him against the wall.
“Take him to the sentient cryogenics chamber. Use his memory to replace the renegade’s, then alter him to the Container phenotype. It’ll take a few hours in the growth culture.”
Ian was carried, struggling, down a corridor, and Kari was taken through another.
~~~
KRJ3 stopped suddenly, sniffing the air like a wolf. Faint shouts came from behind a nearby door.
Dragging his prisoner, the clone stepped into the room.
QIN and SAJ were lying on the floor, electrocuted. Jaa had shoved spare monitors onto their heads and then connected the monitors to high-voltage current. He was beginning to guide Ceres back into its orbit.
KRJ3 dropped Ian immediately and made for Jaa. Ian, reacting quickly, grabbed a magnagun from QIN’s body and fired at the Container.

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215

Alice

in July 8th, 2007 @ 13:45

What the heck? Good heavens, Canix! We’re not all brilliant scientists! Oh wait . . . oops. I took Tertiary to mean someting a good deal more complicated than what it does mean. Whoops. I’ll write in . . . One hour, at most.

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216

Alice

in July 8th, 2007 @ 13:47

Okay, so I submitted before I saw your comment, Canix. One question:

Are we working mine in, somehow? Or are you just rewriting my idea to fit better?

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217

in July 8th, 2007 @ 16:33

226- Yes we did. There were 42, so there are still 38. You can kill a few of them, if you like. But not the real Kerj. he’s on the good side now.

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228

Alice

in July 8th, 2007 @ 16:44

I have writer’s block, so I’m just going to make a summary of where everyone is and such-like.

Setting: One of the Parents’ motherships, lately of the inside of Mercury, which is trying to crash Ceres and Mars together, right?

Cast of characters:
Kerj- now on the good side, out of nanobots.
KRJ1-KRJ4- deceased.
KRJ5-KRJ42 (wait . . . 42?)- In stasis, but I’m sure at least one will come out so Stormwatcher kill him.
Ian- really, really, REALLY mad, and heading towards Sebastian Kahn.
Jaa- Too cautious to be as mad as Ian, but not at all happy.
Kari- presumed dead. (I love making people think that their companions are dead.) She is making the most of it, but what that entails I honestly don’t know.
Sebastian Kahn- Slated to die by Ian’s hand.

Okay, that’s enough now.

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229

Prarilius Canix

in July 8th, 2007 @ 17:39

“I have to get Ceres out of Mars’ path,” Jaa said, suddenly stopping. “I can’t come with you.”
He turned around and vanished into an auxiliary control room. Ian was on his own.
Not a good thing, as it turned out, because Kahn came full tilt down the corridor, holding the strange gun that he had used before. Another bolt of violet energy roared from its snout. The first blast missed, but Ian had nowhere to go. Kahn squeezed the trigger, aiming to kill.
Nothing happened.
A hologram of Jaa appeared down the hallway. “That’s a lepton beam, isn’t it?” he asked cheekily. “I just activated the anti-armament magna-fields and calibrated them to its energy signature. In layman’s terms, it won’t work.”
“Shut up, you dweeb,” growled Kahn, and smashed the projector.
Ian remembered the image of the body shooting out of the airlock and bursting into a smear of red fuzz. With a yell of fury, he hurled himself at Kahn, pounding him mercilessly. The High Patrician dropped the useless gun.
~~~
At that very moment, Jaa was guiding Ceres back into its orbit. The people down there must be panicking, he thought. But at least they have a chance, thanks to us.
The computer flashed a warning at him. TERTIARY CIRCUIT MAXED OUT. RECOMMEND TERMINATION OF PRESENT OPERATION.
Jaa did the calculations. If he let go of Ceres now, its orbit would be unstable, and it would plunge into the sun in a few weeks. Considering how bureaucratic the Solan Republic was, there was no way they would be able to evacuate the population in time.
DIVERT ALL POWER EXCEPT LIFE SUPPORT TO GRAV-ENGINES, he typed.
Unfortunately, this also included the anti-armament fields.
~~~
Kahn and Ian both saw the standby light on the boson beam flick back on, just before the lights went out. Then Kahn pinned Ian to the ground and reached for the gun.
Ian couldn’t believe he was about to die. Jaa would be found, and Kahn would complete his mad scheme. Millions of people would die, and Kari was already dead.
That thought surged through Ian like a tidal wave. With an effort he would never have been able to make when he was a scared kid back on Ceres, he threw Kahn off and grabbed the gun.
Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. His finger found the trigger. Kahn fell back to the floor, his long white coat trailing like a desperate flag of truce. Ian’s finger twitched. The deadly purple light shot out. Kahn’s head and upper torso vanished in a rush of blazing gas.
As the man responsible for Kari’s death crumpled to the floor, anger gave way to sadness in his mind, and he sank to the floor beside what was left of the High Patrician.
Dramatically enough, that was when red warning lights flicked on all over the ship. “EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY,” said a synthesized voice. “TERTIARY CIRCUIT ON OVERLOAD. PROBABLE DAMAGE LEVEL: CATASTROPHIC.”

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230

Alice

in July 8th, 2007 @ 18:15

229- Finally! Some character development! I’ve been wondering about Ian’s obstinate refusal to change, for better or worse, even though he’d been through all these adventures. But now he’s not such an innocent anymore… *sniff*
Oh well, I’ll write now.
Oh, by the way, “Probably Damage Level: Catastrophic,” is a hilarious line.
~~~~~~~~~
Kari stopped dead in her tracks. She had to find her friendsâ€“and her brother. And she hadn’t the slightest idea of where they were. On a hunch, she turned and bolted down the nearest corridor.
~~~
Ian got up slowly. He seemed incapable of going any faster, despite the urgent situation. He was about to go off in search of Jaa, but paused to pick up the lepton beam. He looked first at it, then at the remains of Sebastian Kahnâ€“a human, not a Containerâ€“and had a very strong desire to throw it away.
But he didn’t. He kept it. “Who knows?” he thought. “It might come in handy.”
And then, gun in hand, he set off down the corridor.

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231

Alice

in July 8th, 2007 @ 18:24

Make that,
“On hearing the message, Kari stopped dead in her tracks.”

Not brilliant, but it’s okay.

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232

Alice

in July 8th, 2007 @ 18:46

This part is going to be shorter than the others. It’s only got 12600 words (or thereabouts), and all we have to do now is make them find each other and evacuateâ€“not something that will take up 2400 words.

But who cares? We’re almost done! Can we have the publishing thread now? It would be good to start making preparations before we’ve completely finished, don’t you think?

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233

Prarilius Canix

in July 8th, 2007 @ 19:10

Kari, running at top speed, crashed heavily into a dark-haired person who was pelting down a perpendicular corridor. She got an odd sense of deja vu, then remembered that this had also happened on Ceres, in the library. Which meant that the person now sprawled on the floor was Ian. Her senses, fuddled by the impact, shook themselves into order and confirmed her logic.
Ian’s senses, however, directly contradicted his logic. Kari was dead, yet she was standing right there.
((Someone else take over, I’m no good at reunion scenes.))

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234

Alice

in July 8th, 2007 @ 19:18

233- Ulp. Me neither. Oh well, I’ve two free and tedious hours in which to write one. I’ll post it when I’m done.

Please, GAPAs? About the publishing thread?
[/pleading]

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235

Prarilius Canix

in July 8th, 2007 @ 19:30

How long, exactly, does a story have to be to be a novel?

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236

Rebecca Lasley (Administrator)

in July 8th, 2007 @ 19:58

(235) Answers vary but usually fall somewhere between 50,000 to 100,000 words for a standard novel, maybe 30 – 40,000 for a “young adult” novel.

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237

Alice

in July 8th, 2007 @ 20:27

Well, my edits have expanded the story considerably. I’m almost through with Part Two and I have over 31000 words. It’ll be novel-length by the time it’s done.

Okay, I’m working on that reunion scene. It may have Kari yanking Ian in another direction before he can get all emotional, but that’s okay. And I may end up exploiting my private sappy side. Ian would be a good candidate to channel that, too.

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238

Prarilius Canix

in July 8th, 2007 @ 20:37

237- Exploit away. Despite my personal ineptitude writing it, a story needs some emotion to give it depth.

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239

Alice

in July 8th, 2007 @ 21:16

238- Okay. Just don’t tell my mom that I wrote it, okay? And it’s going to be cheesy.
I’ve never actually tried to write an emotional scene. I do like reading reunion scenes in books, but you wrote the best part. After the moment of realization, it gets sappy.
Okay, enough stalling.
~~~~~~~
“Kari!” exclaimed Ian. “You’reâ€“you’re not dead.”
“Nope,” Kari grinned as she helped Ian up. “I’m not. But we will be ifâ€“” she was cut off, because Ian had suddenly dropped the gun and burst into tears.
Kari stood awkwardly on one leg, waiting for him to stop crying. He showed no sign of doing so, but now he was trying to talk as well as cry. Kari rolled her eyes. Even her renegade emotions never got as sappy as this.
“I killed him!” Ian was saying between sobs. “I killed Sebastian Kahn!” And then he switched the subject and started talking about something elseâ€“namely, how horrible it had been when he had thought Kari was dead.
Finally Kari could take no more. “Alright, Ian, I’m sorry,” she said. “But we can’t just stand here. We have to get out.”
Ian made a gallant attempt to stop the flow of tears, and succeeded somewhat. “I’m so glad you’re not dead, Kari,” he said, wiping his eyes on his sleeve.
“So am I,” replied Kari, taking him by the wrist and pulling him through the maze of corridors. “I can’t say the same about Sebastian Kahn.” She stopped and looked at the boy, who appeared to be about to start crying again. “Never mind,” she said. “Forget I said that. Where’s Jaa?”
“I don’t know,” said Ian. “Kariâ€“if your alive, then who was that? I saw someone through the window.”
“KRJ4,” said Kari. “Speaking ofâ€“” she stopped again. “Kerj!” she exclaimed. “We need to find Kerj!”
~~~~~~~~
Okay, how was that? Not very good, but I couldn’t really see any other way out. I am now officially bad at writing emotion.

Note: Ian dropped the lepton beam, if you want to develop that.

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240

E2MB

in July 8th, 2007 @ 21:24

Dang, I can’t leave this thread for 2 hours.

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241

Alice

in July 8th, 2007 @ 21:36

I just realized that I said Okay three times before writing. And once after. How redundant is that?
I was nervous, though, so I have an excuse.

How about that thread, GAPAs?

Oh wait . . . sorry. I made a promise not to bug you. I haven’t been keeping it very well, though, have I?

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242

Alice

in July 8th, 2007 @ 21:41

240- Nope.

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243

Stormwatcher

in July 9th, 2007 @ 12:27

2227-No, I just want one of them to dissapear, or not be there; I have an idea for a sequel.

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244

Prarilius Canix

in July 9th, 2007 @ 13:05

In my humble opinion, this doesn’t need a sequel. I’m tired of series, and I think this would be better if it stood alone.

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245

Alice

in July 9th, 2007 @ 14:12

I don’t need another writing project yet. I think that maybe Canix is right. Not everything needs a sequel, and the idea of continuing with this particular story and plotline is exceedingly unappetizing. If someday we would like to dig out the old characters, there is nothing wrong with that, but let’s just defeat the Parents, okay? I need closure.

And if we do end up digging out the old characters, can we wait for them to actually be buried first?

Is anyone going to write, or shall I continue?

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246

Kari and Ian ran blindly on. Sometimes, there would be a shuddering boom that would make them stop dead for a few seconds, and Ian was fairly sure that the flickers he noticed lurking at the corners of his vision were really fires, but there was no time to check. They had to find Kerj and Jaa, and there was no more time. They were running so hard hat they had nearly forgotten their quest, and were therefore quite stunned when Kerj nearly bowled them over, his clones in hot pursuit. He was not in good shape. His breath came ragged, and he was bleeding, though it was impossible to tell in this frenzied state whether it was serious or not.
Kari recovered from her shick first, in a matter of tenths of seconds. “Stand back,” she ordered, and held up the lepton beam. “I think I can deal with this.”
Ian reflected tiredly that Kari almost enjoyed this. He was too out-of-breath to object to the gun, or he might have tried to stop her, but as it was he merely closed his eyes, plugged his ears, and tried to curl into a small compact ball. Kerj watched grimly as Kari opened fire.
The clones did not stand a chance. The whole hall was filled with violet fire for a solid minute, and when it at last stopped, not a single of Kerj’s replicas remained.
~~~~~~
Sorry, Stormwatcher. We don’t need a sequel, and if you didn’t have a special death planned for it, then we can just get rid of them all.
But it never states how many died.

0

257

Stormwatcher

in July 11th, 2007 @ 11:52

256-Its okay.

0

258

E2MB

in July 12th, 2007 @ 19:50

Um…I’ve thought about this story for a long time, and I noticed some things…

Uh, first of all, I think our book has a teense bit too much violence (mainly in the climax scene). I know I wrote some of it *cringes*, but I think on the whole, violence disturbs people who don’t like it and prevents books from being on the middle-school literature reading list. If our book is aimed at older audiences than middle-schoolers, I think our story is okay, but I really don’t want to see this book somehow getting a negative review, saying it promotes mindless killing. (That’s pretty much what Kari does. I tried to prevent that a little bit by having Ian stop Kari from mindlessly shooting down the police ships.)

And second, I somehow don’t fell comfterable that they’re outlaws. I really think they should have a clean record. I know this can’t be removed from the story, but I have an idea for the ending…..

Kari, Ian, and Jaa are captured by the police, and taken into court. They ask to see the president of the Solan Republic, and explain in great detail all the Parent’s cruelty, tranny, and most of all their Project Neoterra, which would destroy Mars and Ceres and kill millions of citizens. They explain how they were fighting for their lives, and for many other’s lives.

After this, they are given a mild sentence (like 70 hours of community service or something similar) and the president tells them, if they had just told the Solan Republic about the Parents, they could’ve taken care of them easily, and that they wouldn’t have to get into all this trouble.

And lastly of all, they tell them about the Preservers, and the president is so touched by their attempt to preserve earth that all the best scientists, equipment, and materials are gathered to help the Preservers. The book ends with all the ships traveling to Terra, ready to help the Preservers on their mission, and to restore mankind’s home in the universe.

Any good?

0

259

Alice

in July 12th, 2007 @ 21:46

258- Kari’s a Container. Yes, she’s a renegade, and she has emotion, but underneath all that, there are Container instincts, and there is Container ruthlessness, and such like. She’s Kari. But you’re right. You know, let’s rewind to before post 256. I don’t like the fact that I let myself get quite so carried away. All I can say is, it’s a genre I normally wouldn’t touch, but I did, and it’s violent. We didn’t get very graphic (well, I did wish Canix hadn’t written the bit about blood, but you can’t ignore it completely), and I justified myself there. Well, I didn’t actually think about it at all. Oh god, now I’m all remorseful. *shakes head to clear it*

As for them being outlaws, your plan sounds okay to me. But the government was originally meant to be fairly corrupted when this was begun.

Now I feel awful about the violence. I didn’t write too much of it, at least.

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260

Alice

in July 12th, 2007 @ 21:57

What’s more, I can tone down the violence when I edit, if you like, and make Kari kill fewer people, maybe. And considering that all of the dedicated writers are middle-school or below (or above, but only by a year), it seems odd that it would be taken off middle school reading lists.

And we’re back to Kari’s violence. Essentially, Ian is the protagonist, even if we have a few Kari or Jaa POVs. He is against violence, as is obvious. Jaa, while not as anti-violence as Ian, does try to keep Kari in check slightly, and it seems to me like Kari’s violence is seen as one of her downfalls, not a good thing. One thing we do not want, though, is for this story to get all moralistic, so maybe it’d be best if I just watered down the violence in the edit.

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261

E2MB

in July 12th, 2007 @ 22:52

260 – Well, yea. Having the story be all moralistic would not be good. The only violence I really was kind of blown away by was in our climax scene.

Today I talked to my church’s youth pastor. I told him everything, and he asked about this RRR. I breifly told him the plot, and then described how fun it was to imagine all the planets and their own ecosystems, populations, and cities. He said, “There isn’t any bad things your parents wouldn’t like in the story?” and I was like, “uh…….” A few years ago I wrote a stupid short story called “Mrs. Halloweeney and the Wizard Dude” in which Mrs. Halloweeney and the Wizard Dude develop a method to kill kids on Halloween, then carry it out. My parents made me throw it in the trash, and I was very careful after that to severely limit my violence.

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262

Alice

in July 12th, 2007 @ 23:33

261- I doubt my parents would really care about the violence, but I do. It disturbs me greatly that I can kill characters with such impunity. I would never even have noticed that I was being ridiculously over-zealous with the battles if you hadn’t pointed it out, and now I am appalled! I actually wrote scenes with killing! And that just blew me away. I am glad you brought it to my attention. I’m over my stage of horrible horrible guilt that I actually wrote an action scene, and now I’ll just say, let’s rewind to post 251.

Just one question . . . You told your pastor everything???? Isn’t that a little extreme?

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263

E2MB

in July 13th, 2007 @ 00:00

262 – Not everything everything, but I told the youth pastor a lot of stuff because I wanted him to know my situation. He gave me some good advice, and now I’m waiting for a good moment to tell my parents.

I really want to write, but I have to go to bed now. I’ll try and see if I can write tomorrow morning, but my family is leaving for a trip tomorrow at like 10:00 am, and I won’t get back until late sunday night, so it might be a while b

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264

Stormwatcher

in July 13th, 2007 @ 10:54

Gosh, I stayed away expecting to come back and realizing I missed the end. but no!! Wow!

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265

Penty the Pantsless Communist

in July 14th, 2007 @ 00:41

I am sort of sticking my nose in here, but I’m now remembering why I liked this RRR in the first place, before I went back to my safe refuge of .1. So I’ve got a couple opinions to share, ’cause that’s just how I roll. I emailed it to Alice, but Alice does not an RRR make.

I am only in the process of reading Part 3, so I’m not sure how gratuitous the violence there is, but my general opinion on violence in books is this: If you’re writing about a war (which you are), thou shalt not sugarcoat. Killing people is unpleasant and wreaks havoc on your morals, but you’re not supposed to like it. You can’t just write about some ambiguous noble cause, saving the solar system or whatever, without including the less savory details of war. It’s not a noble thing at all, and anybody writing about it will eventually have to face the fact that there is no war without death. Getting rid of most or all of the violence, having battles in which the worst thing that happens to anyone is a crack over the head or lightly bleeding arm, that’s not real, and anyone reading your book can tell you’re skirting the real terrors of war. They’ll think that either you’re unwilling to face the truth or that you’re trying to talk down to them.

I’m not saying you have to write graphic blood-and-guts violence; half the time that is gratuitous and loses its power to shock and horrify. But the fact is that war is unsettling. Someone writing or reading violence isn’t supposed to be comfortable with the words on the page. Deathless battles are also gratuitous, in that they’re just sort of there. There’s no emotional impact for the characters or the reader, because hey, we didn’t kill anyone! It’s a mechanical execution of a scene that has the potential to be deep and painful.

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266

in July 14th, 2007 @ 15:22

“You just… ” Ian gasped. “You just killed them all!”
“They were trying to kill us,” Kari said harshly. “Would you have preferred it if I hugged them?”
Ian stared at the wisps of ash floating down, and remembered Kari’s expression as she pulled the trigger. It was cold, devoid of any emotion at all. Like a machine.
“I was a Container before I was a renegade,” Kari said, as though reading his thoughts. “And that sort of programming has a lasting effect. I just don’t feel any remorse. ” She sighed deeply, as though ashamed.
Kerj placed a hand on his sister’s shoulder. “That isn’t all you are,” he said. “We all have a chance to redeem ourselves. Even me.”
Jaa dashed out of a side door. His hair was covered in ash, and one side of his face was black and blue, but his eyes still shone with fiery resolve. “OK, touchy-feely moment over! The ship is blowing up, in case you hadn’t noticed!”
((There. Little bit of emotion to balance out all the blood and guts, eh?
Speaking of which, I’m sorry about the blood, but Kerj’s nanobots were the only way to save Ian’s life that I could think of at the time.))

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270

Alice

in July 14th, 2007 @ 16:44

269- You’re much better at it than I! In fact, you’re rather good at it.

That wasn’t the blood I was talking about, actually. I was talking about the Container that died by going out the airlock.

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271

Alice

in July 14th, 2007 @ 22:43

You know what I feel like reading right now? E2MB’s Terraformed Encyclopedia. I need to read something that’s related to the story but isn’t the story. Argh. *wanders off to do something story-related that isn’t edit*

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272

E2MB

in July 16th, 2007 @ 13:23

A
Antavo
The pilot of the ship that took Kari and Jaa to Luna in Terraformed: Io. He speaks in a heavy southern accent, and is said to be a friend of the Parents.

Artificial-gravity machines
Machines that can generate high amounts of artificial gravity.
In Chapter 6 of Terraformed: Io, Jaa tells Ian and Kari he designed the artificial-gravity machines, and describes how they function. “It works because neutrinos swarm to electromagnetism. If you have a big enough electromagnetic force, the neutrinos are attracted to it. However, I have also found that nuclear force repels them. Even the Parent’s most brilliant scientists haven’t figured that one out!”
The only artificial-gravity machines in function are under the Parentâ€™s Gigacorp facility on Io, though they were blown up at the end of Terraformed: Io.

Artisphere
Artispheres are artificially created atmospheres, put on some of the more populated planetoids so that inhabitants donâ€™t have to wear oxygen masks all the time.

Autospear
An autospear is a special type of knife that has some programmed functions designed to help the user with their task. Autospears randomly malfunction, though, and when first released they resulted in many deaths, including the death of Ianâ€™s Uncle Barnaby.

B
Becca
The captain of one of the interplanetary police ships.

Betren
The official currency of the Solan republic, it is used everywhere except Ceres, which uses cores, and Terra, which uses dollars.
Betwers buy Kariâ€™s fuel in Terraformed: CALLISTO with betrens, and later Kari and Ian use betrens to buy shuttle tickets from Mars to Ceres.

Betwer
A Betwer is a type of robot, said to somewhat resemble crabs.
Betwers are first encountered in Terraformed: IO, when Kari and Ian are in Sector 8 on Luna, though they donâ€™t do anything significant. In the last sentences of Terraformed: IO, Kari says, â€œThe Betwers will pay through the nose through this fuel,â€ and Ian says, â€œDo Betwers even have noses?â€ In the first paragraph of Terraformed: CALLISTO, a Betwer buys a can of fuel from Kari at the apparently exorbant price of 7 betrens. Later, a shipâ€™s captain calls guards, who are â€œnothing but tiny robotsâ€, which could mean Betwers.

C
Callisto
Callisto is the location of the Parentâ€™s main headquarters and at least one mining town. See also Parents.

Cavern City
Cavern City is the largest city on Ganymede. It consists of two main parts: a spire on the surface of Ganymede, and an underground section.
The top section, a 700-foot tall spire, is known to sell fuel, and is notable for being extremely crowded.
The underground section is built around the edges of a huge underground lake in a cavern, and the main form of transportation is personal hovercraft.

Ceres
A heavily populated planetoid, Ceres is part of the Parentâ€™s project NeoTerra.
Ian was born on Ceres.

Container
Genetically enhanced humans, Containers make up the work force of the Parents. They all have white-blond hair and green eyes.
All Containers are given a 3-letter ID name: the first letter names when it was built, the second number identifies what model it is, and the third designates the individual.
Containers are never allowed to feel any emotion except anger. The punishment for violating this rule is humiliation.
Containers that have appeared in the Terraformed trilogy include HAV, IAN, JAA, KRI, KRJ, LAQ, LAJ, QIN, SAH, SAJ, SRK, VAK, and VEN.

Core
The official currency of Ceres. Everywhere else in the Solan Republic uses betrens except for Terra, which uses dollars.

D
Dollar
The official currency of Terra. Betrens are used everywhere except Ceres, which uses Cores.

E
Earth
The name of Terra before World War Last. See also World War Last and Terra.

Escape Pod
An escaping device equipped on presumably every major ship. Its size is approximately the size of a small room. Kariâ€™s ship, the Victory, is an escape pod with many add-ons and upgrades.
An escape pod is first used in Terraformed: IO, when police are chasing the regenadeâ€™s ship and an escape pod is what carries the regenades from their destroyed ship to the surface of Io. In Terraformed: CALLISTO, the police are again chasing the regenadeâ€™s ship, and they use an escape pod to eject, which carries them to the surface of Callisto.

G
Ganymede
A moon of Jupiter. It has a relatively large population, with its biggest city being Cavern City.

Gigacorp
The name of the Parentâ€™s facility on Io. It houses many factories and the Parentâ€™s anti-gravity machines. It is blown up at the end of Terraformed: IO. See also Anti-gravity machines.

Globe
Small round balls from the Ancient Terran time. The only one used in the Terraformed trilogy appears in Chapter 2 of Terraformed: IO and is filled with a parachute, but it saves the lives of Kari and Ian.

H
Habitat
Collections of Terran wildlife. All mentioned in the Terraformed trilogy maintained in an isolated space station except for the Preserverâ€™s habitat underground.

HAV
The security General in the Parentâ€™s main headquarters on Callisto. He is last seen arguing with Kerj about how some inmates escape right before the Great Container Revolt.

High Patrician
The highest ranking a Parent can get. Sebastian Kahn is the High Patrician in the time the Terraformed Trilogy is set.

I
Ian
Born in 2175, Ian is a nice, moderately ignorant, orphan. He has dark hair and blue eyes. He’s an orphan, and was living on Ceres until he met Kari and started running all over the galaxy. He likes adventure, or at least part of him does, but when it comes to the crunch, he generally starts wishing he was back on Ceres, in the library, which is his favorite place to be. If he has time to think about that sort of thing. He is fascinated by anything from Terra.
He doesn’t like the thought of killing or hurting people, except the Parents or Containers (not the renegades). He has a habit of picking up useful things, e.g., the auto-spear or the book about time travel.

IAN
An old senile Container who works at the Parentâ€™s Headquarters on Callisto. He allows Ian to escape at a crucial moment in Terraformed: CALLISTO.

Io
Io, being covered with volcanoes, is the location of not much more than the Parentâ€™s Gigacorp facility. Io is blown up by Kari, Ian, and Jaa at the end of Terraformed: IO. See also Gigacorp.

J
Jaa
An authoritative Container, he is a renegade scientist, and the designer of the gravitational engines that were part of the Parents’ master plan. He is needed by the Parents to redesign the engines. His Container name is JAA. The Parents kept him as young as possible, only unfreezing him when absolutely necessary, so he is only eleven or twelve.
He was born on Terra in South America on January 8, 2037, which is before WWL. His Parents died in the Great Evacuation.

JAA
Jaaâ€™s Container ID name. See Jaa.

K
Kari
Kari is a fierce and determined renegade Container. She has spent about 70 years frozen in sentient cryogenics. She was born on Mars in 2104 and orphaned at age 3. The Parents kidnapped her and turned her into a Container. She has ran away at least 7 times, and the 5th time she got rid of her microchip, thus making it harder to be caught. She had very recently gotten out of cryogenics when she met Ian, and is rather ignorant about the more modern inventions.
She has the standard Container looks: white-blond hair and green eyes; and superior vision. Her name comes from the 3-letter ID given to her by the Parents: KRI.

Kerj
A high-ranking Parent (though in Terraformed: MERCURY he is revealed to be a renegade), he was born in 2106, presumably on Mars. He is Kariâ€™s sister.

KRI
Kariâ€™s Container ID name. See Kari.

KRJ
Kerjâ€™s Container ID name. See Kerj.

L
LAQ
Kerjâ€™s personal Container and servant, almost always present when he is around, constantly asking him questions. One of the few Containers to survive the Great Container Revolt.

LAJ
One of the few Containers to survive the Great Container Revolt.

Luna
The name the Moon was given after World War Last.
Luna was occupied heavily by humans from 2042-2043, but after that the population disappeared due to lack of essential nutrients for life.

M
Magnabeam
Magnabeams are the main weapon used by ships in the Terraformed trilogy.
There are two main types of magnabeams: the first type is the low-quality magnabeams, which are illegal. When they hit a ship, they vaporize it. The second type of magnabeams is the high-quality ones, which are relatively expensive, but not illegal. When they hit a ship, they do not vaporize it but instead cause all humans inside to pass out, thus enabling them to be easily caught.
Magnabeams are first mentioned in Chapter 1 of Terraformed: CALLISTO when the regenades are picking out weapons for their ship, the Victory. They manage to get 2 second-hand illegal magnabeams.
A few chapters later, the interplanetary police chase them. Kari wants to use the deadly magnabeams to vaporize the ships, but Ian views this as unethical and prevents Kari from doing so. Kari then tries to use the magnabeams to destroy the Parentâ€™s headquarters, but misses, and ejects out the escape pod. The Parentâ€™s headquarters, in turn, fires several illegal magnabeams at Kariâ€™s ship, vaporizing it and the police ships behind it but not Kari, as she ejected through the escape pod with Ian and Jaa moments earlier. But the Parents then fire a high-quality magnabeam at the escape pod, causing Kari, Ian, and Jaa to be knocked unconscious, after which the Parents soon capture them.

Mars
Being the first major planet to be terraformed, Mars is the most populous of all the planets. It is not a very highly prized living quarter though, because of its constant wars and grumpy residents. It is commented in Terraformed: CALLISTO that ancient humans named Mars after the god of war, and little did they know how fitting this name would be thousands of years later.
Mars was first visited by humans in 2043, a year after the Great Evacuation. Itâ€™s terrain, even after extensive Terraforming, is said to resemble Siberia, even at the equator. As a result, the only colonized area is a thin belt across the equator.
Mars also is the site of Marsgarden, a deposit of deadly acids beneath Marsâ€™s surface.
See also Mars01, Mars02, and Mars03.

Mars01
The first country to be founded on Mars. It is constantly fighting Mars02 for the rights to the ancient Martian artifacts, claiming it should own them because it was founded first.

Mars02
The second country to be founded on Mars. It owns a museum of some ancient Martian artifacts, which have caused Mars01 to declare war on it.
Mars02â€™s citizens are notorious for being swindlers, frauds, and generally grumpy folk.

Mars03
The third country to be founded on Mars. It is known for being generally more peaceful than Mars02 and Mars01.

Marsgarden
Marsgarden, discovered in 2099, is a deposit of deadly acids directly beneath Marsâ€™s surface.

Marsicans
The name citizens of Mars are called.

Mercury
Mercury is the closest planet to the Sun, and for this reason it has never been colonized. Average temperatures are in the low 700s, and heat suits are essential for any visitor not equipped with huge amounts of nanobots.
The Parents secretly built a huge underground base there, and in Terraformed: MERCURY they blew up Mercury and used the pieces in part of their Project Neoterra.

Microchip
A small computer chip implanted into every human born so that they can be kept track of. They can also affect the personality of a human, if programmed in the right way.
Microchips can be removed, but the process is extremely painful, so most people leave it in. In Terraformed: IO Kari tells Ian she removed her original microchip by holding a lit firecracker to her skin, and later in Terraformed: CALLISTO she removes a second microchip that has been inserted into her by carving it out with a knife.

Moon
The name of Luna before World War Last. See Luna.

N
Neoterra, Project
Project Neoterra was Sebastian Kahnâ€™s plan to create a new Terra, and all his followers were called the Parents.
Project Neoterra requires several steps. First, Ceres and Mars are smashed together, creating a body of land roughly the size of Terra. Then, this â€œNeoterraâ€ is terraformed, making it habitable. Finally, several habitats are hijacked and their contents planted on Neoterra.
However, this caused the Preservers to expel Sebastian Kahn because smashing Ceres and Mars together would result in millions dead, which violated their basic goal: to preserve life.

O
Orca, The
The Orca is one of the Parentâ€™s ships. It is one of the extremely few ships at the Parentâ€™s main headquarters on Callisto to survive the Great Container Revolt. The only other ship to survive was the Victory.
The Orca is later used by the Parents to transport all the still-living Containers to Mercury in Terraformed: CALLISTO, to start Project Neoterra in Terraformed: MERCURY.

P
Parents
Originally part of the Preservers, the Parents split off because the Preservers did not approve of their preposed Project Neoterra.

Patrician, High
See High Patrician.

Pocket Organizer
A device that enables the user to easily talk to anybody in the solar system. Presumably they also fit in pockets.

Preservers
A group of people who live on Terra, whose mission is to preserve life. They have a small Habitat set up at their underground base in Antarctica. They numbered 31 in late 2187.
Their eventual goal is to terraform Terra so it is habitable again.

Project Neoterra
See Neoterra, Project.

Q
QIN
One of the few Containers active at the Great Container Revolt to survive. She has a trusting nature.

R
Racks
Torture devices used by the Parents. They are never physically described. A number grade rates them in severness. The highest known grade a rack has been given is 60. Jaa describes a rack 50 being â€œworse than deathâ€.

Radiation
Used by some as a weapon, Radiation is a chemical substance that causes nearby objects to melt and evaporate in thin air. When in large quantities, radiation looks lime-green. Too much radiation has rendered Terra virtually lifeless.

Radiation Suits
Suits that are not destroyed by Radiation, and thus enable the wearer protection. Radiation Suits are a necessity when on the surface of Terra.

S
SAH
One of the few Containers to survive the Great Container Revolt.

SAJ
An often angry and suspicious Container, SAJ is an experienced pilot, computer user and fighter, and is one of the few Containers that survived the Great Container Revolt. While working at the Parentâ€™s Headquarters, he functioned mainly as a prison guard.

Solana
A common word used to mean the Solar System.

Solan Republic
The Government of the Solar System. They frequently send police ships to capture the renegades, but never succeed.

SRK
One of the few containers to survive the Great Container revolt, he distracts Kerj at a crucial moment to allow Ian to pass as a Container and get into the Parentâ€™s secret underground base on Mercury.

Sebastian Kahn
The High Patrician, Sebastian Kahn is the designer of Project Neoterra and he rules over all the Parents. He is killed by Ian in Terraformed: MERCURY.

Stephen Rosinburg
A fictional time-traveler said to land on Terra in August 2189. He appears in the book â€œTo Travel in Timeâ€ in Lunaâ€™s Library. See also â€œTo Travel in Timeâ€.

T
Terra
Terra is the name given to Earth after World War Last. Terra bears a striking difference to Earth, which may be why it was renamed.
The general terrain is black dirt and huge puddles of water. There is no atmosphere except for abundant swirls of green radiation, which are visible from space.
There is generally a lack of life on Terra, though it can be assumed a few archaebacteria still live deep inside the soil. Aside from that, all other life lives in the underground headquarters of the Preservers.
Terraâ€™s currency is still dollars, despite nobody has them except the Preservers.

Teleportation Device
A device invented by the Parents to speed up interplanetary travel. The only known use of it is when the Parents use it to send Kari, their prisoner, to Terra.

â€œTo Travel In Timeâ€
A hoax book planted in Lunaâ€™s Library by the Parents in order to lure Kari and Ian to Terra so they can be captured. A significant portion of the text is printed in Terraformed: IO.
Short plot summary: Several new theories are brought up about time travel. New evidence is found that time travel is actually possible. A mysterious scientist, Dr. Stephen Rosinburg, makes a time machine and tests it in San Francisco in the year 2037, traveling forward in time 150 years.
Kari and Ian read that his predicted landing date is the next day, Ian persuades Kari to take him to Terra so they can rescue the scientist, but this ends in them being captured by the Parents.

U
Uranicium-136
One of the rarest elements on the periodic table, Uranicium-136 is only found on the asteroid 8128-AIRE. Its only known property is that it dissolves radiation.

V
VAK
One of the two Containers who briefly guard Jaa while in the Parentâ€™s headquarters. He is one of the few Containers active at the Great Container Revolt to survive.

VEN
One of the two Containers who briefly guard Jaa while in the Parentâ€™s headquarters.

Victory, The
Kari, Ian, and Jaaâ€™s personal ship. It is made of an escape pod.

in July 17th, 2007 @ 18:35

Ian regained consciousness only to realize that he was shackled to a wall. Through a reinforced carboglass window, he could see twisted hunks of metal gently tumbling down towards the rusty surface of Mars.
Hundreds of Containers dead, Ian thought. Before the programming, they were real people. Nobody knows what their hopes and dreams were. We killed them all.
He knew that they had saved the lives of countless millions more on Ceres, Ida, Dactyl and Mars. But even so, as he saw the wreckage, some of it still blazing as liquid oxygen tanks burst and mingled with heated fuel, he couldn’t come to terms with it.
Things aren’t as black and white as I believed they were, back on Ceres. We just have to muddle along and do what we think is right.
He turned his head, looking around the room. On the opposite wall was Kari, hair disheveled, but with the same devil-may-care grin as she’d had when they first met. To his left was Kerj, smiling peacefully, free of the mental prison he’d been in for so long. Jaa was trying to smile, but his expression came out as a lopsided sneer, considering that his face was a mass of bruises.
Ian returned their smiles. He didn’t know what would happen to them next, but with his friends on his side, they would somehow get out of this scrape. They’d faced enemies deadlier, more well equipped, and, to be frank, smarter than the Solar Police. And then maybe they’d settle down on Terra, and help the Preservers begin a new Project Neoterra- one that would not destroy, but create.

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279

Alice

in July 17th, 2007 @ 18:42

We have too many convenient cabinets. There’s always just what they need on a shelf somewhere.

Oh well. It’s kind of amusing, actually.

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280

Alice

in July 17th, 2007 @ 18:44

278- Is that it, then? The end? It seems like a good place to end, but we may want to finish the story up a bit more.

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281

Alice

in July 17th, 2007 @ 18:53

An epilogue! That’s what we need! Someone write an epilogue!

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282

Alice

in July 17th, 2007 @ 19:20

Word count: 14252. Close enough. We just need to write the epilogue.
~~~~~~
EPILOGUE
Ian watched the grey rocks of Antarctica loom larger below them, and the sickly green water splash feebly on the sand. It was not a pretty picture of Terra, like the few images that remained. But it was Terra, and it was real, and that was more than the pretty pictures could ever boast.
The big man at the controls shook his head at the sight before them. “Not like the liveimages, is it now?” he commented.
“No,” said Ian. “It’s isn’t. But we’ll make it like the liveimages. And this time, we’ll keep it that way.”

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283

Prarilius Canix

in July 17th, 2007 @ 20:41

We are done. This RRR is officially concluded.

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284

Robert Coontz (Administrator)

in July 17th, 2007 @ 20:52

Congratulations! Pies for everybody!

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285

the man for aeiou

in July 17th, 2007 @ 21:52

I’ve read a few post here. can the gapas post all 3 posts on a new thread so people can read it?

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286

the man for aeiou

in July 17th, 2007 @ 21:53

posts should be parts.

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287

Jadestone

in July 17th, 2007 @ 22:06

Oooh, cool. And I just read most of chapter 8 (editing as I went). *pies all the writers* *opens bottle of sparkling apple juice* Great job, everyone!

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288

Alice

in July 17th, 2007 @ 23:32

283- YES!

284- Thanks!

in July 18th, 2007 @ 12:42

in July 18th, 2007 @ 14:06

297 – Ah.

Well, whatever.

Forget it.

*leaves*

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301

Alice

in July 18th, 2007 @ 14:33

in July 19th, 2007 @ 21:47

306-well,people like sci-fi more than fantisy.

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308

E2MB

in July 19th, 2007 @ 21:58

299 – I don’t see why not.

302 – Really? It’s not lime-green? Then we’ll have to edit some passages that take place on Terra. In Part 1, where they attempt to rescue the scientist on Terra, it says “swirls of green radiation in the skies”.

304 – Belive me, I’m working on it.

305 – Wonderful! I’ll substitute that paragraph for my article in the Encyclopedia. The version I posted, just so you know, is very out-of-date, as I have expanded and updated numerous articles. Heck, maybe I should just post it on Wikipedia and have you edit it to your heart’s content.

in July 23rd, 2007 @ 12:54

If you’d like to see it, just say the word.

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317

Alice

in July 23rd, 2007 @ 13:09

On the last thread, E2MB and I were making a timeline. I have made a few corrections, and here is the updated version.

2008 J telescope replaces Hubble Space telescope.
Jan 08, 2037 Jaa born in South America.
2041 First Moon Colony established.
2042 World War Last.
2043 First human journey to Mars.
2043 PTHs created.
2046 Preservers set up a replica of Terra under Antartica.
2051 Parents secede and begin planning project Neoterra.
2099 MarsGarden discovered.
2102 Kerj born.
Jan 27, 2104 Kari born on Mars.
2174 Ian born on Ceres.
2180 Ian’s parents are killed by a stowaway in search of peace.
Aug 08, 2187 Ian and Kari meet at Ceresâ€™ library.
Aug 10, 2187 Kari is captured by the Parents for the 6th time.

When were betwers created? Auto-spears? Magnabeams? Clearly I need to do some research…

What were Kari’s and Kerj’s and Jaa’s names before they became Containers? Any ideas? Does it matter?

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318

Stormwatcher

in July 23rd, 2007 @ 18:58

312-I can pay for copywriting.

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319

Stormwatcher

in July 23rd, 2007 @ 19:03

316-I want to see it!!

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320

Alice

in July 23rd, 2007 @ 19:10

318- Well, you would have to do the whole process, then. I’m fairly sure that if you copyrighted the thing, you would have to be the one to send it in to the publisher and everything, because if Canix or E2MB or I were found with the thing that you had copyrighted we could be falsely accused of stealing the manuscript. But I could help write the query letter and stuff, and you could post everything that the editor says on here so we can read it. Jeez, this is going to be awkward. Anyway, I’ll research that, and maybe ask my dad at a more appropriate time.

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321

Alice

in July 23rd, 2007 @ 19:12

319- Okay.

in July 23rd, 2007 @ 20:16

So anyhow, anyone know any good publishers to send this to? Does anyone but me know the process of sending something in to be published? Do I know the process of sending something in to be published? Yes, actually. Would anyone besides me care to send this in to be published? (When I’ve finished editing, of course. Jade’s going to send me her edit of chapters 4 through 8 soon.) I can send the manuscript to the GAPAs, who can send it to the other writers, when I’ve finished.

Oh, since E2MB hasn’t appeared yet, I’m going to start editing Part 3 myself, without the numbers. I’ll post it if Cat’s Meow shows up on the edit thread, but otherwise I’m not going to bother.

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328

Prarilius Canix

in July 23rd, 2007 @ 21:27

324- Good point. I didn’t catch that.
I’ll look up exactly how long terraforming takes.

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329

Prarilius Canix

in July 23rd, 2007 @ 21:30

Wikipedia doesn’t say. I’ll check a book.

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330

Prarilius Canix

in July 23rd, 2007 @ 21:33

Bad news. Terraforming takes thousands of years.
Editing, anyone?
Of course, Mars is just barely habitable. We could say that it’s in the earliest stages of terraforming. But it will still take quite a lot of editing.

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331

Glassboro

in July 23rd, 2007 @ 21:44

You’re actually going to get this published? Wow. I want to buy it, if you do. Assuming that that’s what you mean.

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332

Alice

in July 23rd, 2007 @ 22:50

331- Yes, that is what we mean.

330- ‘Kay. Just a sec.

Here’s a line by Kari in Chapter 1:

“Heck no!” Kari laughed. “Even Iâ€™d be out of my league if I tried that. Trying to terraform that planet was a mistake. It’s habitable like Siberia was habitable.”

We could change that to:

“Heck no!” Kari laughed. “Even Iâ€™d be out of my league if I tried that. Trying to terraform that planet was a mistake. It’ll be habitable like Siberia was habitable, and it’s not even done being terraformed.”

Okay, okay, that wasn’t very good. Can someone else redo it?

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333

Prarilius Canix

in July 23rd, 2007 @ 23:09

“Heck no!” Kari laughed. “Even I’d be out of my league if I tried that. Trying to terraform that planet was a mistake. They’ve been working on it for nearly 180 years, and even at the equator it’s like Siberia. I mean, I know it takes thousands of years for the terraforming process to be complete, but you’d think they’d have made a bit more progress by now.”

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334

Stormwatcher

in July 24th, 2007 @ 19:55

321-Its good.

in July 28th, 2007 @ 14:02

We are done. Alice just wrote a small prologue in case we ever want to dig this story up again.

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339

in August 1st, 2007 @ 14:28

341- Three. But they’re all combined into one big volume.

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343

Cat's Meow

in August 1st, 2007 @ 16:12

342-Three!? WOW! You guys work fast! Can I read it? I’ve only read the first one! Is there a compiled version anywhere?

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344

Prarilius Canix

in August 1st, 2007 @ 16:28

Look on the edit thread. The second one is entitled “Terraformed: Callisto.”

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345

in August 2nd, 2007 @ 13:19

346-Yeah, that is a problem. I’ve been thinking that we’d just use our blog names, but that throws a wrench in that…I still really, really want to do this though. We have a great story.

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349

Robert Coontz (Administrator)

in August 2nd, 2007 @ 13:43

I wouldn’t worry. Writers use pseudonyms all the times. The only place you need your real name is on a check, and you can even get around that with a little effort.

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350

Cat's Meow

in August 2nd, 2007 @ 14:05

349-Oh, okay. So we could just say “Written by: Cat’s Meow, Alice, Prarilius Canix, (etc)” and that would be okay?

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351

Alice

in August 2nd, 2007 @ 15:25

Okay, okay. We’ll see. But I’m not sure that it’ll work. It’s worth a try, though.

I have been researching publishers. I have a small list, which I will post here with the perks and and downsides of that publisher, and I’ll update it as I learn more. You can also help me research if you like, and I would greatly appreciate it. *hinthint*

AceN Press (a division of DNA Press)
They publish children’s, adult’s, and YA. The problem? “All books should be oriented to explaining science even if they do not fall 100% under the category of science fiction.” Are we explaining science? If we are, then this is an ideal publisher. If we are not, then it’s not.

Branch and Vine Publishers, LLC
This sounds like a good one. “Audience is anyone that appreciates good fiction and likes to be surprised by plot twists and living characters. Know your market. Here’s a secret: Editors are concerned about only 1 thing, ‘Will this manuscript make money?’ Other than that, know how to tell a good story. Don’t be afraid of revisions, and read, read, read! Also check website for updates; submissions are not open year round.”
Do we fall under this category? Plot twists? Living characters? Will it make money? Not afraid of revisions? (Okay, the answer to the last one is no, we’re not, but the others?)

Front Street
This one also sounds good, but I can’t say until I’ve researched more thoroughly. All this say is that they publish YA sci-fi.

Little Brown and Co. Children’s Publishing
We need an agent for this. If we think we can get an agent, then perhaps we should consider it. If not, not.

OnStage Publishing
The odds are against this one. They only publish 5 titles per year and they receive 300 queries and 500 manuscripts every year. But we could try, I guess. I’d have to look at their catalog to see if they’d want our story.

James A. Rock & Co., Publishers
“Exhibit a love of language, of Western Culture, and of writing. A ‘gift of laughter and sense that the world is mad’ won’t hurt.”
I love language, and I love writing. I love all cultures. But this book doesn’t exactly showcase that. I’m not sure it’s what they’re looking for.

Strider Nolan Publishing, Inc.
This is dubious. They’re looking for manuscripts with something new to say, and much as I love our story, it doesn’t fir that requirement. Nonetheless, they say they’re interested in working with new authors, so it could be worth our while to send it in.

Stylewriter, Inc.
I haven’t much to say to this one. It could work, it could not.

Windriver Publishing
This looks good. It doesn’t like “graphic or gratuitous” swearing or violence, but I don’t think we need to worry about it. We never swear, and the violence is not graphic and definitely not gratuitous.

Moose Enterprise Book & Theatre Play Publishing
It’s Canadian, for one thing, but that’s not necessarily a problem. They want “moral quality” though, and I’m not sure we have that. They also want a bio of the author, and since we have many authors that all desire to remain fairly anonymous, that kind of nixes that.

Robbie Dean Press
At first glance, it’s perfect. 90% of the books are from first-time authors; all of them are from unagented authors. They don’t like working with agents, they publishes books for students from elementary school to college. But they wants books focused to be a college text. I don’t really get it, and therefore will have to pass it by.

Suggestions, anyone?

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352

Rebecca Lasley (Administrator)

in August 2nd, 2007 @ 15:35

(351) Try looking for recent books that are the same genre and intended for the same audience as this one and see who the publishers are.

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353

in August 2nd, 2007 @ 16:04

I can’t find any more on them.

I did find another list of publishers, though.

Bancroft Press — We accept trade fiction and non-fiction submissions. We’ve done literary and commercial fiction, books on finance, sports, parenting, humor, history, biography…No topic is out of bounds for us if we think it’s done well and will make an important contribution to society. (Possibly)

Branch & Vine Book Publishers — Branch & Vine was formed in response to the many closed doors within the fortresses of the big publishing companies. They accept original, unpublished, and complete manuscripts. (Great, if we can find more info on them)

The Charles Press — Subjects that we are currently interested in include instructional (how-to) books, psychology, parenting, criminology, true crime and suicide, but we will consider books in different areas as well. [b]We do not accept[/b] poetry, children’s books, short stories, [b]science fiction[/b], westerns, romance or humor. (Well, that won’t work.)

AMACOM BOOKS — AMACOM delivers classic and innovative business solutions for crucial business concerns. Our editorial mission is to help individuals increase their skills and knowledge, improve organizational performance and illuminate vital business issues. (Nope)

Bookhome — Our mission at Bookhome creates books that help people build better businesses and live better lives. We are interested in proposals or manuscripts in the areas of small business, home business, and the writing and publishing business. It is possible that we could fall in love with an idea that falls outside of these areas, but chances are slim. (Very unlikely)

Avalon — Under its Avalon Books imprint, Thomas Bouregy & Co., Inc., publishes hardcover secular romances, mysteries, and westerns for the library market. We produce sixty books titles a year in bimonthly cycles of ten. A cycle consists of two career romances, two general romances, two historical romances, two mysteries, and two westerns. (We don’t fall in those categories)

Avon Books — Books of romance, mystery, and adventure. Right now we are looking for romances in three particular areas–historical romance; contemporary romance, including romantic suspense; and African-American romance. Dorchester — Dorchester book publishers has been involved in the publishing of mass market books since 1971. From its founding, we have strived to bring the freshest authors to millions of fans. Although mostly known for Romance, Dorchester also publishes world-class Horror and Westerns under its Leisure Books imprint. (Ours is sort of adventure, but still unlikely)

Genesis Press — Genesis Press Inc. is the home of Indigo Romance, the nation’s leading line of African-American romance novels. Genesis is a pioneer in publishing diverse lines of romance, including: Tango Two, which features Hispanic leading characters; Love Spectrum, which concentrates on interracial romance; and Indigo After Dark, a more sensuous romance line. (What is with all the romance!?)

Harlequin Enterprises — Harlequin Book Publishers is a wholly owned subsidiary of Canadian communications giant Torstar Corporation, publisher of Canada’s largest metropolitan daily newspaper, the Toronto Star. Creates titles for Harlequin, Silhouette, Red Dress Ink and MIRA. (That doesn’t tell us much. I’ll check out the website. Let’s see…Books for Women who Love to Read. Dang. It’s women’s fiction. Nope.)

The first two are the closest to what we need.

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363

Alice

in August 2nd, 2007 @ 16:08

We have a big, big, problem. Branch and Vine no longer exists, and WindRiver no longer accepts unsolicited manuscripts, and now looks like some sort of religious press.

I’m going to take a look at Front Street and Stylewriter.

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364

Cat's Meow

in August 2nd, 2007 @ 16:14

(I’m looking for stuff on the Internet now)

PUBLISH AMERICA:
We publish more new titles than any other traditional book publisher. (Good)
We accept more new and unpublished authors than any other traditional book publisher in the nation. (Good!)
Do you have an age requirement?
All authors published with PublishAmerica sign a contract to have their work published. As such, we can only enter a contract with those authors who are eighteen (18) or older. (…..Bad…..)
Can I use a pen name?
Yes. We will need your legal name on the contract and for payment purposes; however, we can publish the book under a pen name. One word of caution: publishing is inherently a public actâ€”releasing the work to the public; therefore, we cannot guarantee any authorâ€™s anonymity. (Okay, not this one)

BAEN:
Dear Author:
We publish only science fiction and fantasy. Writers familiar with what we have published in the past will know what sort of material we are most likely to publish in the future: powerful plots with solid scientific and philosophical underpinnings are the sine qua non for consideration for science fiction submissions. As for fantasy, any magical system must be both rigorously coherent and integral to the plot, and overall the work must at least strive for originality.

Those manuscripts which survive the “first cut” as outlined above are then judged primarily on plot and characterization.

Style: Simple is generally better; in our opinion good style, like good breeding, never calls attention to itself.

Payment rates: very competitive.

Preferred length: 100,000 – 130,000 words Generally we are uncomfortable with manuscripts under 100,000 words, but if your novel is really wonderful send it along regardless of length.

Submission procedures:

Query letters are not necessary. We prefer to see complete manuscripts accompanied by a synopsis. We prefer not to see simultaneous submissions.
Your submission must include your name, email address*, postal mailing address, and telephone number on both your cover letter and the first page of the manuscript. *[If you have an alternate permanent email address, please include it, in case your primary account goes out of service.] Include a plot outline if possible.
(They publish sci fi. That’s very good. The last bit is a bit worrying, but we could find some way to get around ther…)

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365

Alice

in August 2nd, 2007 @ 16:16

Branch & Vine no longer exists, period. Bancroft might work, though.

Front Street
Front Street’s young adult fiction often deals with children in crisis or children at risk, offering hope and succor, however difficult the subject. Our picture books emphasize art and design. We strive to expose young readers to the best literature available in other countries, cultures, and languages.

Nope. Let’s see, how about Stylewriter?

Bother. Stylewriter’s web page doesn’t exist either. What happens when I google it?

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366

Alice

in August 2nd, 2007 @ 16:31

364- Not promising. Or novel is only in the 50,000s.

Bancroft Press might work, actually. Stylewriter isn’t around either.

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367

Cat's Meow

in August 2nd, 2007 @ 16:37

366-Dang. That’s going to cut down a lot. I agree that Bancroft is our best bet so far, but I found a list of about 50 publishers that I’m going down. I’ll post it when I’m done.

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368

Cat's Meow

in August 2nd, 2007 @ 16:44

How long is our story in words?

DAW BOOKS:
We publish [strong]science fiction[/strong] and fantasy novels. We do not want short stories, short story collections, novellas, or poetry. The average length of the novels we publish varies but is almost never less than 80,000 words.
Send us the entire manuscript with a cover letter, not three chapters and a query letter.
Very important: Please type your name, address and phone number in the upper right hand corner of the first page of your manuscript. Right under this, please put the length of your manuscript in number of words.
We publish first novels if they are of professional quality. A literary agent is not required for submission. We will not consider manuscripts that are currently on submission to another publisher.
It may require up to three months or more for our editors to review a submission and come to a decision. If you want to be sure we have received your manuscript, please enclose a stamped, self-addressed postcard that we will return when your manuscript is logged in.

DEL REY:
Their website didn’t have much, but they only publish Sci Fi and Fantasy.

PENGUIN PUTNAM:
They didn’t have much, but they publish at least some sci fi.

I’m not finished going down the list of publishers, just realized that my list isn’t very good because if they don’t say they they DON’T accept Sci-fi, they probably do…*sigh*

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369

Cat's Meow

in August 2nd, 2007 @ 16:44

Ignore the first part of that post…

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370

Cat's Meow

in August 2nd, 2007 @ 16:53

Bancroft appears to be a pretty small company. Here’s what they say about submitting fiction (which I suppose we fall under):
Fiction:
Please submit an entire manuscript, or as many chapters as you have written. Be sure to include a cover letter that details who you see as the audience for your work as well as a resume of your writing experience (any periodicals in which you’ve been published, any degrees related to writing you possess, etc).

“We have never published children’s fiction or poetry, and although we aren’t opposed to working with these genres, it is unlikely we will ever publish them.”
I sure hope that our book doesn’t count as children’s fiction…I think of it more as for teens and preteens, though. Then again, I haven’t read the entire story yet.

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371

Alice

in August 2nd, 2007 @ 19:11

370- Oh dear. Our book is YA (young adult, though you ought to know that), but YA falls under children’s from a grown-ups point of view. Dash it all. I’ve got to find some sci-fi.

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372

Rebecca Lasley (Administrator)

in August 2nd, 2007 @ 19:33

(371) Alice, the publishers of Writer’s Market also put out a Children’s Writer’s and Illustrator’s Market, which most likely includes YA.

Your library might have the current edition, though you may have to ask for it at the reference desk. In my experience, some libraries don’t put any of the current Writer’s Market series on shelves because of their tendency to disappear.

Also, do you want to continue this discussion on a new thread?

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373

Alice

in August 2nd, 2007 @ 19:40

Ack. Booklists are the answer, Meow.

I’m not so sure that our story has any counterparts. I’ve been looking and looking, but I can’t find any sci-fi that resembles our own.

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374

Alice

in August 2nd, 2007 @ 19:41

372- Good point. I should look for that.

And yes, I would like a new thread.

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375

Rebecca Lasley (Administrator)

in August 2nd, 2007 @ 20:00

(374) You got it.

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