Stupid Senseless Smiley Stories, v. 2012
And none too soon.
Continued from v. 2011.
Date: May 29, 2012
Categories: Random craziness
Monday, 29 April 2024
Life, the universe, pies, hot-pink bunnies, world domination, and everything
And none too soon.
Continued from v. 2011.
Date: May 29, 2012
Categories: Random craziness
I’ll start with another Muse Academy vignette:
Hello, ∀ . ∃ anything new and wonderful going on?
*confusion*
What are you talking about?
In logic, “∀” is a symbol that means “for all” of something. I often use it as shorthand for “all” or “everybody.” Similarly, “∃” means “there exists” — or, more conversationally, there is or there are.
But why are those things ∃ing here?
∵ they’re useful and I wanted you to know about them.
Let me guess. “∵” means “because,” right?
Exactly. It’s an upside-down cousin of the more-common symbol “∴”, which means “therefore.”
Actually, that’s pretty cool.
I think they’re dumb, and I’ll bet you never really use them for anything.
(you think that) ⇒ (you’re wrong). I ∞ use them for taking notes.
Hold on. Is “∞” supposed to mean “always”? I don’t think you can do that.
Why not? What’s the Δ?
∵ you’re not talking about an infinite quantity of anything. You’re talking about something you do all the time: (∀x|x∈{moments of your life}, you write “∞” as an abbreviation for “always”).
No, not all {moments of his life}. Just the {moments of his life when he is taking notes}.
No, you mean {moments of his life when he is taking notes and needs to abbreviate “because”}.
No, you mean {moments of his life when he is taking notes and needs to abbreviate “because” and feels like it}.
That’s pretty involved. I think I’ll stick with ∞.
This is boring. Could we Δ the subject, please?
!
Robert, you made my head spin with all them symbols!
That’s lovely! I don’t know ∀ the symbols you didn’t define, though. ∴, I don’t know that I can participate much. Then again, I was able to say that much; ∴, I can try to say some more! Also, I can guess some of them. That helps. Just don’t blame me if I get a few wrong.
You know, I think I’ll just ask you about ∀ I don’t understand. First, though, are we allowed to talk to the anonymous Muse Academy Student characters? I want to tell that I think en’s incorrect in saying, “But why are those things ∃ing here?” (∃ means “there is/are/exists/exist”) ⇒ (∃ing means “there being/existing”) ⇒ (“∃ing here” means “there being/existing here” ), which makes no sense ∵ nothing can ∃ and here exist at once. ∴, what en said made no sense and ∴ was not correct, ∵ ∀ that is correct makes sense, unless ∃ a deficiency in data, but (∃ not enough data) ⇒ (∃ no reliable method of discerning the truth, anyway). That’s why logic is the best method for finding the truth; (∃ enough data) ⇒ (it gives you the correct answer), and (∃ not enough data) ⇒ (there is no reliable method for finding the correct answer); ∴ ∃ never a better method for finding the truth, and (∃ not enough data) ⇒ (it is often impossible to realize this), and (one does realize this) ⇒ (one knows ∃ no further logical inferences); also, ∃ more cases in which ∃ sufficient data to make a logical inference than cases in which it seems ∃ but ∃ actually not; ∴, (it seems ∃ enough evidence to form a conclusion based on logic) ⇒ (going ahead gives you more true answers than false ones). I’d also like to point out to that (he feels like abbreviating “because”) ⇒ (he’s going to do it whether he wants to or not). ∴, the bit about him needing to abbreviate it can be taken out.∴, it becomes {moments of his life when he is taking notes and feels like abbreviating “because”}. That’s not accurate, though; it ought to be {moments of his life when he is taking notes, feels like abbreviating “because” and will stop neither feeling like abbreviating “because” nor being able to abbreviate “because” before he has the chance to abbreviate “because”}.
Anyway, Robert, what do “x|x”, “∈”, and “Δ” mean in logic? What about brackets like these: {}?
I think “Δ” is “change”.
x|x and ∈ and {} are part of this phrase:
(∀x|x∈{moments of your life}, you write “∞†as an abbreviation for “alwaysâ€)
which is read: for all x, x being an element of the set of moments of your life, you write ∞ as an abbreviation for always
the triangle is a lowercase delta, used often to mean “change”
hope this helps!
Slight correction: it’s upper-case delta, used in mathematics to mean “difference” or “change.”
I studied math, logic, set theory, and philosophy of mathematics, and over the years found myself adapting the notation to my own purposes until some of it strayed pretty far from absolute rigor (as Bibliophile noticed). For example, instead of “do we have any chocolate?” (e.g., in the refrigerator), I’d write “chocolate: ∃?” That amused me and inspired the SSSS.
You are right, it’s only been a few months since I’ve done an epsilon-delta proof, so I should really know how to distinguish deltas :/
ZNZ and Dodec: What about, “Why not? What’s the Δ?”
Dodec: That does help, but I’d like to be able to use those symbols myself, and I don’t think I understand them well enough for that.
Enc: What do those symbols mean?
~{this is unuseful}
or for you computer programmers:
!{this is unuseful}
this is a story that i thought of last night
Cast Of Characters: princess pea (who talks in a very loud high pitched voice). her pet. the townsfolk. and all the rest of them are one person.
now all you townsfolk will follow my order and buy me icecream!
(who talks in a higher pitched voice) an niat too
why do you want ice cream?
be cause my bunny wants me to. he likes ice cream
i do i do i do!
that bunny has corrupted your mind! can’t you see it’s a PINK bunny!!!!
but he’s cute
ima gonna puns you in da hed for sayn dat!
you see what you’ve done! you made him mad!
he-he’s growing!!!!
he always does that when he’s really mad
now ima gonna kik you in da face becaz ya made me mad!
-dodges-
-shrinks-
you have been a bad bad bunny! now IM a gonna spank you
another victory won over a pink bunny
-comes back carrying ice cream-
let us have a feast!
& -waiting for ice cream- -one scoop comes in-
now ima gonna kill da dude dat ate all muh iced creams!
THE END!!!
What’s that big dopey grin for?
Yeah! You!
What are you thinking of? “Mostly Harmless”?
Whoa! Easy there! We’re all… Dread phrase. Darn it. And are you a Muser, Smiley?
What are you up to now?
No!
– After 10 months in school abroad, I’m going back to the U.S.A to my family!
– But hang on…am I really that excited?
– I mean, I’ve missed my family a ton and I’m going to go see those friends who didn’t come to Israel for the gap year. I’m not particularly upset that school is over and I will be seeing most of the girls in college next year, but I’m going to be leaving Israel in 10 hours!
Oh, G-d, I’m leaving Israel. I’m leaving all the people I’ve met and made connections to.
– No more traveling around the country, no more visiting Jerusalem, no more shall I wash dishes every Friday morning in the T. home…
– I won’t be seeing 1 year old M. and 4 year old T. anymore! *sobs harder* I don’t want to leave!!!!
I believe I condensed Harry Potter into an SSSS years ago. But that’s no reason not to do it again, right?
So, without further ado…
Harry Smiley and the Philosocerer’s Stone, Part One
Woe is me! I am a poor orphan boy and I live with my abusive Aunt and Uncle!
Shut it! Or I’ll lock you in the cupboard!
But it’s dark and cold and scary in there!
NO DINNER FOR A WEEK.
But—
RAWWWWWR! [rips out mustache]
I’ll just… be in my cupboard.
✉ Hey, Mr. Smiley, guess what—
RAWWRRR NO LETTERS FOR YOU!
✉ But Harry’s a—
COME ON EVERYONE, WE’RE LEAVING!
A shack. Why are we in a shack?
Shut up and eat your rations.
This is a bag of potato chips.
[bangs down door]
This is unexpected.
I demand you leave at once, sir!
Shut up, Dursley. [puts Uncle Vernon in cupboard]
TNÖ: Wait, I don’t remember it happening like that—
Shut up. Harry, yer a wizard.
Um… cool?
~EPIC TIME SHIFT~
Diagon Alley! Gringotts! Flourish & Blotts! Miscellaneous Unnamed Stores! Madam Malkins! Mr. Ollivander’s! Here’s an owl!
If you pet me, I will make you rue the day you were born.
…what.
I mean, whoo hoo. whoo hoo.
…
~ANOTHER EPIC TIME SHIFT~
So why do wizards ride trains, anyway? That seems kind of mundane.
TNÖ: Oh, back in the late thirties the Minister decided that stealing a train from Muggles and hiding it under massive concealment spells, without telling anyone, was the best way to resolve the problem of transportation.
Um.
TNÖ: Shut up and stop asking questions.
You’re Harry Smiley!
Um, yes. Yes I am.
=> I’m Ron Weasley! And despite what a disturbingly large portion of the fandom will try to tell you, I’m a really decent guy! 8D
Oh… kay…
I’m Hermione Granger and I read books!
You’re annoying. Go away.
I’m Draco Malfoy, and I’m awesome. Be my friend.
You’re a jerk. Go away.
Because you’re just little firsties, you don’t get to ride in the carriages. Instead, you have to sail across the lake filled with scary merpeople and a giant squid in rickety little rowboats!
I am starting to doubt the sanity of the wizarding world.
TNÖ: Harry, shut up. You’re not supposed to ask questions!
Sorting Hat: ALRIGHT LISTEN UP. EVEN THOUGH I EXTOL THE VIRTUES OF INTER-HOUSE UNITY, THIS IS HOW THE SORTING WORKS: GOOD CHARACTERS GO TO GRYFFINDOR. BAD CHARACTERS GO TO SLYTHERIN. RANDOM CHARACTERS THAT NO ONE CARES ABOUT GET TO FLIP A COIN; HEADS GO TO RAVENCLAW AND TAILS GO TO HUFFLEPUFF! ANY QUESTIONS?
I—
Sorting Hat: NONE? THEN LET US BEGIN!
Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
Why is Dumbledore winking at me?
TNÖ: He’s not winking, he’s twinkling.
~EPIC TIME SHIFT AGAIN~
Learning magic is hard.
That know-it-all Hermione Granger kept correcting my homework! Alright, I get good grades because of it, but she’s so bossy! No wonder she’s a freaky loner!
=> WAHHHHHHH.
Whoops.
THERE’S A TROLL IN THE DUNGEON.
Come on, Ron, we’ve got to save Hermione!
But she’s not in the dungeons!
Neither is the troll.
…But Quirrell said…
See? there it is! [sticks wand up its nose]
Troll: Aroooaothoahdgaodsihfgawoeighfawe;oigrhjna;eog!
[beats troll with its own club]
You guys saved me! 8D
Let’s be friends!
, , YAY!!!!
Thus ends part one. Tune in next time to catch part two!
Or else.
Biology today:
OH GOD BABY PIGS
An hour later
Oh cool, a heart!
:/ (stupid teacher) Now find the small intestine.
(me) Ok. Cool, intestine!
:/ Now pull it apart so it’s one long thing.
Sure. Wait, that’s going to take forever.
*several minutes later*
WHY AM I DOING THIS
In the case of my anatomy class, the point of unravelling the small intestine was so we could blow it up like a balloon. It was awesome. …I’m guessing you didn’t do that, though?
That would be cool!
Harry Smiley and the Philosocerer’s Stone, Part Two
So, flying’s pretty cool.
Broom: What did you eat for breakfast today, bowling balls? Get off!
AHHHHHHHHHH—
Hey, I think something’s wrong with Harry.
Snape’s muttering creepily under his breath! It must be him!
What do we do?!
What we always do under these circumstances: We set fire to our teachers.
…I thought you were the one who didn’t like breaking the rules.
Shut up! [begins building a Pyre of Fire]
TNÖ: …Wait.
CURSE YOU, HERMIONE, YOUR GIGANTIC FLUFFY HAIR IS BLOCKING MY VIEW!
What was that?
I’m innocent.
Right.
The Fire Pyre’s done! Incendio!
WHAT THE DEVIL IS GOING ON HERE?!
Ah, my broom’s stopped! And I caught the Snitch. With my mouth.
That must be illegal.
Shut up, Malfoy, you’re not even in this scene.
~EPIC TIME SHIFT~
So, remember that midnight adventure we had that totally wasn’t skipped over?
What?
You know, with the big dog? Three heads…?
Woof. Bark.
…sure. That.
The thing Hagrid calls Fluffy?
EXACTLY. Turns out it’s guarding a Mysterious Packageâ„¢ that has something to do with Nicholas Flamel.
Great. Who is that?
I HAVE NO IDEA 8D
Ron, call Madam Pompfrey and tell her Harry’s off his meds again. I’m going to the library!
~SUDDENLY, CHRISTMAS~
We have made absolutely no progress.
I know, Harry. You’ve said that every night for WEEKS now.
Someone sent me a Mysterious Invisibility Cloak. Look! [vanishes]
Hey, you could use that to sneak into the Slytherin common room and poke people while they’re trying to study!
Nah, I think I’ll go to the library instead.
Restricted Book: AHHHHHHH PERSONAL SPACE AHHHHHHHH
Students out of bed! I’ll EAT them!
Filch! This is bad!
What the devil is going on here?
Cake.
Mirror of Desire Backwards: Hey, Smiley, come here and let me taunt you with pictures of your dead relatives.
Uh.
Mirror of Desire Backwards: They were so tasty.
TNÖ: This story has officially escaped my ability to control it.
I’ll just… go back to bed… now… bye…
Mirror of Desire Backwards: Come back! I WANT TO EAT YOUR ORGANS!
TNÖ: [facepalm]
~LATER~
Even though Ron thinks it’s a bad idea and the Mirror threatened to eat my organs the last time I saw it, I find myself drawn back! Mum! Dad!
Mirror of Desire Backwards: Yessssssss, my young prey. Closer. Closer. You smell like a taco.
Ah, Harry.
AHHHH.
Mirror of Desire Backwards: Curses! Foiled again!
The Mirror is going somewhere where it can’t eat students. It’s devoured seven Hufflepuffs and a Ravenclaw already!
Huh?
Don’t worry about them. As long as it didn’t get any Gryffindors, it’ll be okay.
I really don’t think that’s—
Socks, Harry. Never forget that.
~YET ANOTHER EPIC TIME SHIFT~
Hey. Hey guys.
Hi Hagrid.
It’s hatching.
What.
Why is there a dragon egg in your oven. Hagrid, why.
Dragons are cuuuuuute ^_^
What is this I don’t even.
Good morrow, my sycophants.
TNÖ: You’re not a dragon.
sSsssssSSsssSss [CHOMP]
IT BIT ME. WHY DID IT BITE ME.
Heh heh heh.
Ron, you go to the Hospital Wing. Harry and I will get rid of… whatever this thing is.
[ and drop Norbert the Hot Pink Dragon off the Astronomy Tower and into the lake, where he is able to zombify merpeople in peace]
Students out of bed! Detention! MWAH HA HA HA!
Whose idea was it to leave the Invisibility Cloak outside?
Yours.
…Oh.
Thus ends Part Two. Tune in next time to catch Part Three.
The Mirror of Desire is significantly creepier than I remember it being.
Me, too. I really don’t know how that happened.
Although, you know, now I think about it, while it is rather left field, it isn’t that far, given Dumbledore’s descriptions of people “wasting away” or being driven mad in front of it. It might not literally devour them, but it certainly plays havoc with their sanity. It could well have been crafted with intentionally negative intent, perhaps as a trap of some description. Or just because whoever made it was a sadist who liked to screw with people’s minds.
…It’s absurd, but I find that I really like this idea.
A-B-C-D-E-F-G…
Why are you singing?
H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P…
I SAID WHY ARE YOU SINGING?
sniff sniff… WAAAAAAA! WAAAAA!
Uh-oh…
Hey! What do you think you are doing yelling at a little kid?
“LITTLE KID?” Are you insane? This little ‘kid’ is a hot pink bunny, just as likely to bunnify me as anyone else! And… Uh oh…
Is that what you call us? Bunnies? We’re too menacing for that title! It sounds too cute! Attack!
Oh no… I’m gonna be bunnified!
-TRANSFORMATION- Hey guys how are you doing?
Clickable bunny:
Your bunny is evil.
It warps you nowhere.
Harry Smiley and the Philosocerer’s Stone, Part Three
I don’t like the Forbidden Forest! It’s dark and scary and cold and there are werewolves and ligers and bears!
Scared, Malfoy?
SHUT UP, SMILEY. YOUR PARENTS ARE DEAD.
…
Om nom nom unicorn blood!
AHHHHHHHHHH [runs away]
Wait! My Horcrux sense is tingling!
What’s a Horcrux?
I’m not even going to tell you, Harry, you’ll find out soon enough.
And what’s Snape doing in the Forbidden Forest?
TNÖ: NOTHING. SNAPE WASN’T HERE. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. I DIDN’T SEE SNAPE. STOP ASKING QUESTIONS.
RAWRRRRRR!
♘ [stomp stomp stomp]
My spine… my spine…
My, that was marvelously convenient.
♘ I’m a centaur.
I can see that.
♘ I read stars.
Um…
♘ Like a book.
…good for you.
♘ The stars told me not to save you from Voldemort—
Wait, that thing was the guy who killed my parents?
♘ Yes.
You should have stomped on him some more then.
♘ …
~LET’S DO THE TIME WARP AGAAAAAAAINNNNN!~
HEY! I suddenly remembered that I knew who Nicolas Flamel was all along!
…
…
What?
…
…I hate you.
Nicolas Flamel is the only known creator of the Philosocerer’s Stone! That must be what Fluffy is guarding!
The Philosocerer’s Stone?
Is that even a real thing? Philosocerer doesn’t sound like a real word to me…
TNÖ: The American editor got into a drunken fistfight with the British one, and they weren’t quite sober yet when they decided on the title.
…
ANYWAY. The Philosocerer’s Stone can turn lead into gold, make the drinker immortal, and turn normal humans into slavish green zombie slaves!
Hm, who do we know who’s green and drools a lot…?
I can’t think of anyone, can you?
I’m sure there’s someone, but I can’t quite put my finger on it…
Think, Harry!
…Nope, I lost it.
Voldemort must be after the Philosocerer’s Stone so he can resurrect himself and build an army of green minions to destroy the world! Snape must be helping him because Snape tried to kill you and only stopped when we put him on my Fire Pyre!
But Dumbledore’ll scare him off, right?
~EPIC TIME SHIFT~
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, “DUMBLEDORE ISN’T HERE?!”
TNÖ: He said he needed a vacation and that the volcano gods were getting restless anyway, so he packed some Hufflepuffs into his trunk and went to Hawaii.
I guess it’s up to us, then.
We’re with you, Harry.
Forever!
Let’s go.
So… how are we getting past Fluffy?
I’m going to use a weapon that not even Voldemort would dare to wield.
Harry, you can’t!
But I must!
Not—
Yes. Bad pop music from the early 2000’s!
Fluffy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Well, that’s taken care of. What’s this plant thing?
Devil’s Snare: I WANT TO EAT YOUR ORGANS.
That phrase sounds familiar somehow.
Hold on, let me build another Pyre of Fire!
Hermione we do not have time for this! Just light a normal fire!
Just a minute! I’m almost done! There! Incendio!
Devil’s Snare: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Oh look. Keys. And brooms. Whatever shall we do.
Accio key!
Or that works, too.
Chess! I’m good at chess!
White Queen: Die, earthling.
[dies]
White King: Now you win!
…
Logic puzzles are even better than armed guards and passcodes for keeping out troublemakers like Voldesnape! Harry, drink this! It’s probably not poison!
That’s encouraging.
Now walk through the fire!
…Wait. That isn’t Snape.
TNÖ: DUN DUN DUN.
Yes! It is I, Mr. Smiley!
Professor Quirrell?! I knew I should have suspected you! You’re GREEN!
And you’re racist.
SILENCE, YOU PLEBES.
Who is that.
Mirror of Desire Backwards: IT’S TACO-BOY! COME HERE, TACO-BOY! YOUR ORGANS SMELL ALL LOVELY AND COOKED NOW!
Hey, Dumbledore warned me about you. You can eat Quirrell if you want.
Mirror of Desire Backwards: Quirrell’s too stringy. Here, I’ll give you this lump of rock if you let me eat your liver.
The Philosocerer’s Stone is in my pocket now. How strange.
GIVE IT TO ME.
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Liar.
Seriously, who is that?
Let me speak with him face-to-face.
But you’re a wimp!
SILENCE!
Quirrell why are you unwrapping your turban. Stop it. Stop!
=> Hello, Harry. I killed your parents. How does that make you feel?
…Voldemort… why are you pink….
‘Cause I am.
I thought you looked like before.
I made Quirrell wear a mask.
Oh. Okay.
Now diiiiiiiiiiiiiie!
HE BURNS! HE BURNS! [sizzle]
That’s not supposed to happen. Toodles!
Quirrell just melted. Why did Quirrell just melt? Oh, he’s all gooey. That’s disgusting. [faint]
~EPIC TIME SHIFT AGAIN~
Good morning, Harry!
What.
No one is supposed to know about what happened with Quirrell and Voldemort and the Philosocerer’s Stone, but that’s boring, so I told the whole school the story while you were unconscious.
What.
Your mother’s love in sacrificing her life for yours is why Quirrell melted.
…
That’s why I sent you to live with your horrible relatives, so the blood protection would stay active.
…
Harry?
LOVE MAKES PEOPLE MELT?! D:
…
~ANOTHER EPIC TIME SHIFT~
It is my pleasure to announce that Slytherin won the House Cup, only they didn’t, because I’m going to award Gryffindor one hundred and seventy points!
THAT IS NOT FAIR.
YAY!
YAY!
ALBUS THAT IS REALLY NOT FAIR.
YAY!
Aw, Severus, don’t be such a stick in the mud.
I despise you.
Even though I have to go back to my horrible relatives, I’m happy! This year was so awesome! 8D
You can visit me next summer!
Yay!
THE END.
Or is it? >_>
Thank you. I just laughed so hard.
I really ought to read Lord of the Rings.
…
Why wait? *begins reading*
Hmm…
This is better than the movies.
Aragorn! Hello there heroic and good looking!
It feels like this plot is taking way too long to get moving.
Rivendell at last! Legolas! Hello there pointy-eared species good looking!
I’m finding their view of the future and world a little depressing.
…
Mmm, Legolas. *googles “Legolas slash”*
I suppose I should have expected that pairing. Anyone other than Aragorn? He’s friends with Gimli…
*googles Legolas/Gimli**reads a fanfic*
I like it.
*reads another fanfic* Oh my. EPIC ROMANCE. FEELINGS.
I am worried the rest of the canon will make this pairing seem unrealistic.
The obvious solution is to read the rest, and remember AU fic can be really good.
Read ALL the books!
Tolkien’s elves don’t have pointy ears except in the movies…
“In his notes on the stem LAS[1] from *lasse = ‘leaf’ and LAS[2] ‘listen’ (*lasse = ‘ear’), Tolkien noted the possible relationship between the two in that Elven “ears were more pointed and leaf-shaped” than human ones.”
…Oh. Oops. Never mind.
“Also in the news today, a rash of what seems to be HPB-related propaganda is sweeping the country. Musers have been reporting blood-chilling sightings and experiences relating to these lagomorphs and the color pink. Viewers at home are encouraged to remain cautious. In order to get a better grasp of the situation, it’s now over to our correspondent, reporting live from a real-life bunny lair…”
“Thanks, Cindy. I’m here today in the bunny lair with a handful of these rossy-hued rabbits you’ve been hearing so much of. Now, what I’m seeing here are a lot of them, a whole lot of them. There are a handful of green zombie slaves too, who get exploded or imploded occasionally, mostly for entertainment, it appears. Here’s one now!”
“Uhhhhhh”
“Hello, what is your function in this bunny-lair colony?”
“Durrr I am here to amuse the bunnies durr”
“I see. And how do you do that?”
“Uh I dunno, basically we just kind of hang around and get tortured at their will.”
“That’s terrible! Don’t you ever try to escape?”
“What are you doing here, human filth?!”
“Hello, I’m a reporter for–”
“Not for long!”
*is zombified*
“Hurumph. Arrogant humans, thinking they can report on our activities. We’ll have our own direct mind-control telepathy devices up and running soon enough, and ‘the news’ will be so last-dominant-race.”
& “Durrrrr”
“Oh, you’re both still here? Ugh.”
& *implode violently*
“Now, on to that mind-control device…”
Am I the only one who finds this story disturbing?
Disturbing? Terrifying, more like!
8) What’s terrifying?
Oh, we’re watching this newscast. It’s pretty scary.
8) Oh really? *watches over shoulders of and *
Mind control device, eh?
8) *silently transforms into *
D-Do you think something like that could really happen?
*holds bunnification weapon* Now, humans, you know to much! There’s only one thing to do!
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!
*screams*
*zapping noise*
Now, onwards to world domination!
The Robot Bunny
It’s a kid… No, it’s a car… No, it’s a… a… ROBOT PINK BUNNY! RUN!
Surrender now. I have you trapped.
Run! Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!
*crunches people underfoot* Error. Unwanted filth. Error. Unwanted filth.
Hooray! Kokopelli saved the day!
Want some?
Uh oh…
Hover over the smilies and their story will unfold:
I believe that last one should read “Durrrrr…”
Yeah… I guess so… That last guy was rather ambarassing…
: Hey, did you ever notice we’re all disembodied smiley heads?
: No. What a shame
: COOL! I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A FLOATING HEAD!
HAHAHAHAHAHA! My evil plan is working!
turns into : MUST…MAKE…ALL…INTO…HOT…PINK…BUNNYDOM!
8) , , and : NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…
*EPIC TIME ZAP*
…OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
: ZAP!
8) , , and turn into
: COOL! I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A FLOATING HOT PINK BUNNY HEAD!
Characters: Brendon: , , , , . Allysah: . Bobby-Chick the DJ:
Movie Type: Romantic/Dramatic Comedy
*sigh*
What’s the matter Brendon?
Sigh. On Museblog Pink Bunnies Are Taking Over The World =(
Duh Brendon! it’s just a stupid WEBSITE! Pink Bunnies will NOT take over the world (Dork)
ooh. i don’t feel so well. it feels like my pink… er my caking pi… Guts are Pinking twisted!
(pink? jeez this guy has the case of the stupid.) i think i will leave now. i don’t want you to throw up on my shoes.
ok bye i…
huh:
*Before Allysah’s very eyes Brendon turns into a bunny in this cycle:*
hey i feel better now! i feel…
*growly voice* gerrr. soo much BETTER. i could just…
ROAR i am turning into Girrr-OWWWL a Pink grrr BUNNY!
*high pitched pink voice* I WILL BUNNIFY YOU BY TOUCHING YOU! YOU WILL BE A PINK BUNNY!
*the cycle ends and our story continues*
I WILL BUNNIFY YOU BY TOUCHING YOU! YOU WILL BE A PINK BUNNY!
oh my gosh brendon?!?! don’t you recognize me? IT’S ALLYSAH! YOUR LOVE!
my… my love?
don’t you remember me? it’s Allysah!
… i … NO! i do not remember you! *throws Allysah in dungeon*
*accross the cell* I DMAND 2 B LET INTO DA FREE!
who the cake are you?
O yo! my name is DJ Chick!. who R U?
*to be continued*
An SSSS thread with only 38 comments since May? UNACCEPTABLE.
Gather round fellow smileys! We must restore the death quota!
Yaaaaay!
* shoots * * sublimates* * cannibalizes * * dies of diabetes*
Ah, there can never be enough pointless, mind-numbing fantasy violen*disintegrates into pixels*
Say, what’s that up there? “Asteroids?” Hm! What a neat little triangle ship…
*soon*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH
Play the Asteroids game to simulate ‘s rampage of destruction!
This is based on a true story, as of a few minutes ago:
= music
= finger
= brain
= feet
*plays*
Heheh, this song is so fun.
*taps*
“I turned to my first officer and I said/what have you got to say to me?”
This has such fun music.
=> What are you-
Let’s dance!
=> NO! I DO NOT DANCE!
But-
EVER!
Couldn’t-
PERIOD!
It’s so-
ESPECIALLY NOT TO THIS!
Ah, come on, just this once?
IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO DANCE TO VOLTAIRE??
Well-
NEVER MIND. I DON’T WANT TO KNOW. I DON’T DANCE!!!
*pouts* Fine.
=> *keeps tapping*
“Some men call to god (woah-oh-oh)[…]”
My brain today:
You know, it’s noon. Maybe I should take a break and eat some lunch?
8) Aw, come on. Just let me finish researching this section?
*sighs* All right.
*later*
OK, it’s past one p.m. I really ought to get some lunch now.
8) Come on, I’m almost done researching the celestial bodies portion. When I’m done I can take a break.
Yeah, and during my break I can write in my book!
But-
I’m already late. I meant to be done with the scene I’m writing two days ago!
Pfft. I’m still mad I decided not to watch Doctor Who.
But food-
8) MAJORITY RULES!
Well… Maybe I can take an extra-long break after I’m done researching this section, and finish the scene I’m writing and then eat?
8) All right.
Fair enough.
but how about I take a quick break RIGHT NOW and post about this whole pointless internal conversation on MuseBlog as an SSSS!
But if it’s an SSSS, someone has to die! Usually everyone dies!
8) *already stampeding to MuseBlog*
Hey, wait up! *follows*
And that is why I am now completely braindead.
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I copied ibcf’s remarkable work into a word processor, shrank it down a few font sizes, and colored it magenta. Here’s the horrific result:
Hot dang
21- if you feed him enough pies he will turn pink
Half pink, on my monitor. The left side (the HPB’s right).
this space for rent
Oh, no. Him again.
I thought we’d gotten rid of him for good…
No worries, folks. I think we’ve run out of material!
* GAPAs conferring*
Don’t forget .
Looks like the hot pink bunny is going on strike…at least on my screen
All those SSSS’s just got more surreal!
We just had another software upgrade. Never fear, they’ll be back.
Life is a wonderful blessing. I’m going to live each day to the fullest!
Life sucks.
What makes you say that?
Life is just suffering and problems. You’re stuck with stress and responsibility most of the time. When you’re young, you’re too stupid to appreciate your carefree existence. When you’re old, you’re too decrepit and weak to have any fun. And then your family will probably dump you in some nursing home until you die of cancer. Life a “blessing”, indeed!
You would be happier if you had a more positive outlook. You’ve only got one life, so you might as well enjoy it!
I would have a more positive outlook if I were rich, famous, and desired by women.
You don’t need fame or fortune or even women to be happy. If you have simple desires, you can easily find fulfillment.
Perhaps, if you are of a simple mind.
If you want rewards in life, you have to earn them.
I didn’t ask to be born into this stupid world! It’s life that owes me compensation.
You’ll never be happy if you feel that way!
Shut up. *shanks*
Yesterday was MuseBlog’s birthday!
Aw, I missed it.
Maybe there’s still some cake left!
Cake? IT’S ALL MIIIINE *strangles*
*rolling along, whistling cheerfully*
AGAIN, IMBECILE?! Seriously, we’ve been over this how many times now?!
*continues rolling along, whistling cheerfully”
IDIOT!
Oh! Hullo!
Who gave you permission for such obscene displays of joviality?
Uhhhh……..
Look out!
Oh joy, the gang’s all here.
I….I don’t know what you’re talking about….I was just leaving….
*timidly resumes whistling*
Oh cut that OUT, will you?
*fixes stern glower on *
ARE YOU GONNA SAY THE THING?
Wait, where did you come from?!
The thing! Are you gonna say the Immortal Line? Oh this is so cool, I’ve always wanted to hear one of you lot say it in person!
No! I refuse to pander to your silly desires!
ummmmm
(to ) seriously, SHUT UP.
Oh fine. “Little green emoticon, listen to your wise friend.” Happy?
Awesome.
You know what? Never mind. I’m done with all your games. *explodes and *
Well, I’ll be going…
Wait! No, nevermind. I’m tired, I’m done with this foolishness. I’m tired of being a source of entertainment. I might as well just give it all up and listen to a waltz, just give up on it all……..
I’m….sorry?
No, no. It’s ok. Just hum a few bars of Goodnight Irene as you walk away……
Look, can I help you, or…something?
Herp de derp derp WOW WHAT A GREAT DAY
Ugh.
*implodes violently*
Eh. I’m feeling better. Thanks though.
Hilarious!
I like the part where I imploded.
Hi! Um… aren’t you…?
No, I’m afraid not.
(It is! It is! Go on, Amber.)
I, uh… I hope I’m not intruding, but I just wanted to let you know how much your work means to me.
It does?
It’s very inspiring, and it’s had a major effect on my life. Especially that thing you said that time about friendship.
Friendship…?
You know, when you told the little green emoticon about how important it is to have friends and listen to their advice? It’s so true.
I’m not sure that’s exactly–
Because if you can’t listen to people who really know you and care about you, then who can you listen to, right? Anyway, I just wanted you to know that that made a huge impression on me, and it’s helped me through some very hard times.
That isn’t what– I mean– I’m glad that it’s helped you. But I’m afraid I have to be going. Ultra-important meeting with my, uh, agent. Really big SSSS in the works. ‘Bye now.
‘Bye!
…And thank you.
*** Five minutes later ***
Well, hey, buddy. I’ve been waiting. What took you so long?
Oh, you know. Paparazzi.
Really? Still? Man, I never get them anymore. Such a star. So, what’s your pleasure, big shot? Pinochle?
Sure, deal ‘em.
Pinochle it is, and no paparazzi allowed. *shuffles*
My favorite SSSSs over the years
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=183#comment-14495
fizzymeboppit by Em
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=525#comment-56318
dynamite by kokopelli #13
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=782#comment-99186
take over the world by TNÖ
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=782#comment-124505
tragicomedy by rabbity24
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=1022#comment-143858
live in a box by Potato Chip
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=1022#comment-146055
world domination by TNÖ
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=1022#comment-146687
cute little bunnie by Beavo
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=1022#comment-154556
bunny meets administrator by Robert Coontz
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=1022#comment-176784
loch ness monster by Beavo
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=1179#comment-201993
rhymes by Hypatia
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=1370#comment-213513
fred the bunny nerd by Robert Coontz
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=1370#comment-233076
weird by Agrrrfishi
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=1461#comment-243042
sshpb variations by Robert Coontz
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=1461#comment-257061
cinderella by TNÖ
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=1461#comment-261488
entertainment by Rainbow*Storm
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=1461#comment-264128
the adventures of mr. green by Agrrrfishi
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=1461#comment-266923
a non-stereotypical ssss by Rainbow*Storm
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=1461#comment-267814
einstein by Eragon
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=1461#comment-270714
haha! what? by Beavo
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=1461#comment-273548
the galactic convention by Rainbow*Storm
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=1461#comment-300544
the bunny’s secret guide by Enceladus
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=1461#comment-304194
the 8 types of sssss by Insane MLDM
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=1461#comment-311632
we doth need new thread by SudoRandom
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=3634#comment-312431
administrative privileges by Errata
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=3634#comment-314906
why hpbs haven’t taken over the world yet by ibcf
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=3634#comment-342918
happy new year by bubblebabe225
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=3634#comment-346792
smiley art museum by Enceladus
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=3634#comment-354831
shut up by Midnight Fiddler
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=6391#comment-364248
castaway by Zinnober 9
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=6391#comment-393296
happy by Enceladus
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=6391#comment-396227
a class at muse academy? by Robert Coontz
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=8293#comment-396791
two words by Mikazuki
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=8293#comment-431839
flashback by Rainbow*Storm
https://musefanpage.com/blog/?p=11795#comment-459075
hpb report by Midnight Fiddler
I’d forgotten that there were so many of them.
What are you staring at?
Old Stupid Senseless Smiley Stories. There are thousands of th– *notices who asked the question* Whoa.
SSSSs? I love them! Let me see.
–> Um, that’s mine.
Wow, I see what you mean — they go on and on. Gosh, I look so young. Check out that earstyle. Hahahaha!
…
Explosions, implosions, zombification, bunnification, world domination– Unbelievable. I was out of control.
So… you mean you’re not into that stuff now?
Ha! Who has the energy? Nowadays, a little Mozart and a glass of Cabernet at the end of the day is about as wild and crazy as it gets. I mean, it was fun for a while. But then it was all like “been there, done that,” you know?
… For real …?
No, you fool! I’m lulling you into a false sense of security so I can hypnotize you and eat you alive!
–>
Just kidding! Haha, the look on your face! Now, where was I… Gee, look at those little alt+2 smileys. I’d forgotten about them…
…
…
best quotes:
“Can’t. It’s flooded. My toilet blew up! Boom! It shot straight through the roof! Took my wife with it! Thank God!”
“Oh, Edward, I wish you would bunnify me so we could be together forever.”
“You’re a mother *bleeping* *bleep bleep bleep bleep* bucket *bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep* HARRY POTTER *bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep* with a FIFTY MILLION YEAR OLD ROCK *bleeping bleepity bleep bleepity bleeping bleep* Elvis Presley *bleepity bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep findthedifferentbleep bleep bleep bleep* SOUP! *bleepity bleep bleep bleep* where nobody will ever find your *bleepity bleeping bleep* EVER AGAIN UNDER THE *bleeping* SUN AND MOON AND STARS AND RAINBOWS!”
“Please shop shifting the focus away from me and my luxurious green hide.”
(quotes from here , here , here , and here ).
and now it is time for bed.
Live from our studios, it’s Musing in the Morning, only on Muse TV!
“Hi, everyone! I’m KaiYves and this is Musing in the Morning!”
*applause*
“Our guest today is Dr. Bertrand Piccard, who was one of the pilots of the solar-powered airplane Solar Impulse 2 on its round-the-world flight earlier this year!”
*walks out waving at the crowd to applause and sits down*
“Dr. Piccard, let me just say that it is an honor to have you on our show. I followed your flight very closely this summer as I’m sure many of our viewers did as well. Solar Impulse 2 was the first aircraft to circle the world using completely renewable energy!”
*applause*
“You’re very welcome, communicating our message to the public is really one of the most important parts of this mission.”
“Of course, this was only the latest daring voyage for Dr. Piccard and his family. 17 years ago, he was one of the first two people to circle the world nonstop by balloon, following in the footsteps of his grandfather, Auguste Piccard, who was the first man to reach the stratosphere in a balloon. His father, Jacques Piccard, was the first man to descend to the Challenger Deep, and his own adventures in aviation and sustainability have only built upon that legend.”
*applause*
“So, Sir, my first question is… would you say your family has had its ups and downs?”
->
“Did you invite me here just so that you could make that joke?”
“No, but it was too good to pass up.”
(When you actually do interview Dr. Piccard, my advice is to pass it up.)
Of course, but this is a *silly* senseless smiley story.
Wow, I used to write so many of these Smiley Stories! I forgot all about the running jokes we used to have. Mr. Joe being dumb, the alt-2 smilies, the wungs, the senseless violence …
Forgot ALL the running jokes, you say?
Yeah, pretty much.
What? Can’t hear you. Come closer.
*moves closer*
*eats*