Rosanne and Robert are in the question-and-answer business, after all. So go ahead–fling your questions their way. They promise to answer honestly and/or entertainingly, or not at all.
(Thanks to Em for this brilliant idea for a thread.)
(And to randomrohanfreak, who proposed the idea back before R&R were ready to step into the spotlight.)
First post? Maybe? *fingers crossed* I’ll save the dance for later…
k questions…erm…do u guys have kids? wait they’d be on here wouldn’t they? unless they were really little…ok do u guys have any mini-kids? either of you? or none at all…no future little GAPAs to take your honored place…
ok i’m kidding. Erm…how about choklit? Dark, milk, white, organic, completely devoid of sugar, extra sugar…Choklit is the Way of Life. This is a very important question, so think carefully!!!
Ok here’s another boring desert island question. You’re on a desert island. No helicopters. can’t bring those. It’s a NICE desert island and you want to stay there, ok? Food, water, etc all the supplies you need are already there. You bring five things. What are they? (NOT ropes, flashlights, whatever, that stuff’s there. I’m talking about books, maybe a comp and/or dvds, magazines
, y’know stuff like that. Oh and no people. Can’t bring people.)
Wow! First post dance!!!
Thanx to the GAPA you rock! I sends you much virtual choklit-covered spamabix!!!!!
Okay, questions to ask the Mr. and Ms. Dude-who-moderates-us. Hmm…..
Why are blackboards green?
If jumans evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why do we drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?
How can there be a civil war?
Why is the sky green?
do you read the washington post or the washington times?
safari is doing this really weird thing where it won’t load the blog all the way. it loads some amount of it and then just stops loading. this is the only thread i can get on, because its the shortest. it won’t even load the home page all the way, it loads the threads, but not the recent comments. you know how on the sides of the blog are pink? well the whole thing is pink with the other stuff on to of the pink, instead of that space in the middle being white. also word has frozen up on me. yesssssss i hates my computer…
Some answers:
DARK CHOCOLATE
Washington Post vs. Washington Times? I used to read the Washington Post when I lived in Maryland. I especially liked the comics section. (So many good comic strips!) But then I moved away. So now I don’t read it very often. Sometimes I look at the Post’s food section online, though. Or read some other article there for work or because someone tells me it’s interesting. I almost never have occasion to read the Washington Times, though.
Kids? No. It’s a bit sad having no kids — but if I did have kids I probably wouldn’t have time to fritter away my lunch break answering these questions!
Desert island question… hmmm. I need to think a little more about that one.
And Sphinx, your questions are too hard for me! Maybe Robert can answer.
But Pheonix said you guys were geniuses and famous in the scientific world! Pwease?
Why is there the ‘?l?
How do you make these symbols: ↓ Å ∞ Æ ▓ ♂ ⌠♫ ü à ß ╘ ▒ ?
Do you speak English?
What color is your neighbor’s neice’s dog’s mother’s owner’s old roomate’s brother’s best friend’s uncle’s living room?
Why do I need glasses?
Do people in China REALLY walk upside-down?
How do they get their shoes on?
Do they even have shoes?
What do blind people see?
What do deaf people hear?
Do blind people dream?
Let’s see…
No kids. I like children, though, and am a very doting uncle. (GAPA is not a hereditary office, by the way. The main qualification is being crazy enough to want to do it.)
Chocolate: any kind, anytime. I even eat white chocolate, though I don’t consider it chocolate.
Desert island: Hm.
(1) A computer with Web access, so I can keep on GAPA-ing.
(2) A ton of dried apricots–the tangy Blenheim kind, not the sickly-sweet Mediterranean/Turkish variety. (Dried apricots are pretty much my favorite food in the world, with mint chocolate chip ice cream and watermelons a close tie for second.)
(3) and (4). A piano and a violin. I don’t play them, but on a desert island I’d have plenty of time to learn and wouldn’t annoy anyone with my practicing.
(5) The complete works of Fyodor Dostoyevsky. Or maybe a crate of chocolate-covered Spamabix–it’s a close call.
As for Sphinx’s questions, number two is one that a lot of people have asked me seriously, so I’ll answer it and save the other ones for possible use in the Q&A column someday. OK. My last name, Coontz, was originally German. According to family lore, my ancestors came to America from the Rhineland in 1730. So I descended from Germans, but there are still Germans around. What’s the problem?
The Washington Post.
the story of the question marx is in the comp thread.
are you a liberal then?
Oh, Sphinx, I just realized I answered your “what do blind people see” question in Muse. Many blind people actually do see things. And sometimes they have visual hallucinations that really freak them out! Here’s a link to the whole answer:
https://musefanpage.com/NewFiles/q%26a_04.html#blind
1. Where did you grow up? Did you have any brothers?
2. What did you do before you became GAPA?
3. What is your name? What is your quest? What is your favorite color?
4. What’s your middle name?
5. What do you eat for breakfast?
6. What would you grab first from a burning house? (Let me guess: Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
7. What is your lucky number?
8. What’s your house like? Do you live alone?
9. What music do you listen to?
10. What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done.
oh darn, i was going to ask #3. all of the good questions have been asked on the faq section of the fan page.
wot is the meaning of life?
wot were your grades like at skool?
wot possesed you to want to listen to a bunch of random teenagers talk about random stuff all day?
#10 – I’m a Demokokopublican.
#12. Mostly San Diego, California, and Alexandria, Virginia. One brother and one sister. I found less fulfilling ways to procrastinate. Robert; I’d like to know/What this whole show/Is all about/Before it’s out; blue. Joseph. On weekdays, usually a fruit-yogurt mix of my own devising, a little ham or turkey, and something hot in a cup. On weekends, complicated bread or special oatmeal that takes half an hour to cook, and orange juice. Fyodor Dostoyevsky. I’m not sure I have a lucky number, but one of my friends swears that everyone’s lucky number is 47. Two-story brick rowhouse built around 1945; alone, no pets (my niece and nephew are allergic to everything, and I like them to visit). Lately, Butterfly Boucher, Riltons Vanner, Dire Straits, Sarah Harmer, REM, Leonard Cohen, and Gilbert & Sullivan. This.
#13. You’re asking me? I’m still working on the meaning of earlobes.
Good.
Who listens?
read. you do read everthing right? we might be concealing nasty swear words and important contact info in those extra long posts.
when is your birthday?
We read it all, but we don’t always try very hard to understand it. And we might not read everything that the other GAPA has already read.
My birthday is in July. It will appear on the blog calendar like everyone else’s
Now I’ll take a break for a while and let Rosanne catch up with her answers.
Do you consider yourselves weird or completely abnormal?
Do you sleep?
Do you eat?
Do you do anything besides GAPAing?!!!
What do you think is better hot dogs or hamburgers?
(GO HAMBURGERS! Though my friend disagrees. She likes hot dogs)
What are ur fav movies, books *coughfyoderdostrewhatshisname*, magazine *your boss(es) stare(s) threateningly at you as they await your answer* ok magazine besides muse and the other ones you guys work for, fav website besides museblog/fanpage, and the funniest and/or most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you?
And now…
I realize this is slightly frightening. Please refrain from employing the method often called the “scream, panic, and helplessly run around in circles method” Please don’t pack your bags and move to some remote little town that nobody’s heard of to escape us. Please try not to be traumatized for life and go to psychologists screaming “PEOPLE LOVE ME AND IT’S FREAKING ME OUT!” Please please please. These are common survival instincts of those who have heard the “fangirl chant” which is why we’re warning you in advance.
THE FANGIRL’S CHANT
WE WANT TO KNOW YOU! WE WANT TO STALK YOU! WE WANT TO WORSHIP YOU! WE WANT TO ADORE YOU! WE WANT YOUR SIGNATURE! WE WANT EVERY BLEEPIN DETAIL OF YOUR MOST PRIVATE LIFE! WE WANT TO MARRY YOU IF YOU HAPPEN TO BE A GUY! WE WANT AN ACTION FIGURE OF YOU! WE WANT TO WORK WITH YOU! WE WANT YOU TO BE OUR BOSS! WE WANT YOU TO RESPOND TO OUR CRAZED EMAILS, SCREAMS, SHRIEKS, AND SHOUTS OF ADORATION! WE WANT YOU!!!!!!
The GAPA: AAAAAHHH!!!! *scream, panic, helplessly run around in circles, pack their bags and move to remote little towns that nobody’s ever heard of, and run to random psychologists screaming “PEOPLE LOVE ME AND IT’S FREAKING ME OUT!!!”
Oh GAPA R.S. you can pretend those are your fanboys if you want. Of course we only have a grand total of THREE…
no, i think king of randomness might be a boy too. that only 4. maybe other people are, but they haven’t said anything.
what is your favourite muse?
how did you start writing for muse? were you there from the beginning or did you come in later on? did the muse people call you up and say “hey, come write a froody column for us!”?
cats or dogs?
i asked the washington post question because according to my civics teacher, the washington post is more liberal, and the washington times is more conservative.
Why do the whiiiite gullllls caaall
across the sea?
lalalalala
sorry about that.
i though “GAPA” was plural. so shouldn’t it be “ask the GAPA”?
Answers to Queenie J (#12)
1. Where did you grow up? Did you have any brothers?
Pennsylvania and Maryland; Yes, one.
2. What did you do before you became GAPA?
Nothing worth mentioning.
3. What is your name? What is your quest? What is your favorite color?
Ennasor/To figure out my quest/Blue
4. What’s your middle name?
I don’t have one. My parents thought my first name was plenty.
5. What do you eat for breakfast?
Green salad with toasted almonds and tofu. Really! And I drink tea.
6. What would you grab first from a burning house?
My big box of old photos. But really I should grab the computer hard drive, shouldn’t I? Or my passport? Aaack. I don’t know. I hope it doesn’t burn down anytime soon.
7. What is your lucky number?
Don’t have one. (So does that mean it’s zero?)
8. What’s your house like? Do you live alone?
It’s a little one-story house. Notable features: gas oven/stove for cooking, print of Vermeer’s “Girl with Pearl Earring” taped to the fridge, a really beat up couch in the living room, a fireplace also in the living room, hundreds of books in the library.
I live with my husband and our insect housemates — lots of ants and spiders. We like the spiders but not the ants.
9. What music do you listen to?
Sad to say, not much these days. The only time I really listen is when I use my husband’s ipod while I’m exercising. He has a weird collection of stuff on that thing. I’ve discovered some songs I like, though. My favorites at the moment are Joan Osborne’s “One of us,” Savage Garden’s “Affirmation,” and anything by the Beatles. I need to get my own ipod.
10. What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done.
I’m not telling.
This is fun but I have to leave the office and go food shopping now. So, more answers later.
I hope they got more bratwurst in at the supermarket. They were out last time. TRAGIC. I want to make currywurst — that’s grilled bratwurst with ketchup and curry powder on top. Sounds weird but tastes heavenly.
“10. What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done.”
“I’m not telling.”
aaaaawwwwww…come ooooonnnnn. *hiss*
jk. but saaaaaad. 
curry is…interesting…my dad uses it a lot. it tastes ok i guess. bit spicy though. Or maybe he just puts a lot in.
Currywurst…sounds brill except that i don’t like bratwurst *gasp* shock and horror. Or ketchup. *everybody faints*
Oh i have a q! Fav and least fav teachers in skool. And what kind of comp you do your GAPAing on. And what’s cooler-the pilsbury doughboy or the geico gecko? (I say gecko all the way!!!! you just HAVE to love a british gecko that sells car insurance…but this is “Ask the GAPA” not “Ask Ebeth” so you peoples tell me yes?) oh and fav aminal…and i could probably spend five min. making up some more but i’ve just realized that i’m procrastinating but have NOTHING TO PROCRASTINATE ON!!!! odd….you just get used to procrastinating on something. So i shall go now.
I’m procrastinating on practicing the crazy fifties dances for my play, which is in FIVE DAYS! WAHOO!
The Gieko Gecko isn’t British, he’s an Aussie. At least, I think.
My question; Someday, a few million years from now, is it possible that at the Brookfield Zoo monkey house a zoo keeper is gonna look through the doors and run away screaming, “There are australopithecines in the monkey house, help!”?
OK, a few more.
Sphinx (#8): The Ko-konspiracy needed someone with your talents and glasses. I don’t know the details, but I’m convinced that your glasses have a vital role to play in the fruition of plan Mostly Harmless.
AHHH! (#18):
What do you mean, “or”?
I sleep and eat, but I ought to sleep more and eat less.
When not GAPA-ing, both Rosanne and I edit magazines other than Muse. Off the job, I do all the usual things people do. I assume it’s the same with Rosanne, but she probably has more fun because she’s a Californian.
Hamburgers, no question about it.
Ebeth (#19): Movies, books, magazine, website — it’s too late to start on all that tonight. I’m curious about the idea of a Robert Coontz (Administrator) action figure, though. What would it do? Talk to scientists and writers on the telephone and type on a computer keyboard? (Make sure it’s one of those molded ergonomic keyboards if you want the action figure to be authentic: I’m a touch typist and vastly prefer the way they feel.)
Em (#20 and #21): I don’t have a permanent favorite Muse. I thought a lot about Feather while writing the fanfiction about him and Fleur Delacour. Now I’m thinking about Mimi.
I got involved with Muse while it was just starting. I was working in Manhattan (as a science editor, natch) and heard that the Caruses were putting together a panel of New York publishing types to look over a new project they were working on. I volunteered and fell in love with the magazine at first sight. My first article for Muse appeared in the fourth issue. Later I suggested the Q&A column because I thought it would be fun, and then I invited Rosanne to help because I thought it would be even more fun. I was right both times.
When it comes to animals, Rosanne and I strike a perfect balance: I like cats, she likes dogs.
I prefer GAPAs as the plural of GAPA, though the Greek-style GAPAe also has its appeal.
Sorry–that’s all I have time for now. I’ll resume over the weekend. ‘Night, all.
What does Rosanne want to be referred to as? OEAD doesn’t sound right. How about… OEAP? (Our Exalted Administrator Person)
K, needs work.
Do waves “wave” to people on both sides of a lake? Why?
An answer to the AHHH (#18)
Q: What do you think is better hot dogs or hamburgers?
(GO HAMBURGERS! Though my friend disagrees. She likes hot dogs)
A: Hamburgers! Though these days I worry about them being full of e. coli or other nasty bacteria, so I don’t eat them very often. Just when I know for sure that the meat is fresh. Am I neurotic? YES!
Answers to Em (#13)
-wot is the meaning of life?
You tell me. I wish I knew.
-wot were your grades like at skool?
Very very good until college — although I did get a C in handwriting in elementary school. It’s still pretty messy.
During college and after the grades were still OK but not great. Chemistry was a real shock. I had to study. Woa. And then physics. Double trouble.
-wot possesed you to want to listen to a bunch of random teenagers talk about random stuff all day?
Robert talked me into it and then I became addicted.
nooooo!!!!!!! there’s too many questions!!! i took a whole 15 or so minutes to read them all!!!!!
Why are there question marks after everyone’s name now?
Ooh, I just noticed you deleted the “URL” space!!
An-swer me ques-tion! *whiney whine whine.*
No I know what it’s like to be a teacher in my class. Little moaners. Gah.
You mean your question about the monkeys and the australopithecines (#26)? I thought you were just being silly.
The serious answer is: no, it won’t happen like that, because (1) the Brookfield Zoo is unlikely to exist millions of years from now; (2) modern monkeys and ancient australopithecines both evolved from a common ancestor that is equally different from monkeys and australopithecines, so it’s highly unlikely that modern monkeys will evolve into australopithecines; (3) what modern monkeys do evolve into will depend on the sorts of environments that they inhabit in the future, which are highly unlikely to reproduce exactly the conditions that produced australopithecines; (4) if monkeys were to evolve into australopithecines, they would do it gradually by changing into increasingly apelike creatures that zookeepers would stop calling “monkeys” long before they started being recognizable as australopithecines.
the question marx are going to take over the internet, starting with the museblog. they have been planning this for a while, but they were hyding behind the url section, so you couldn’t see them. now that the url section has been removed, they are visible
Really? I talked to a blind dude, and he said he just sees colors. Like, if it’s really dark in the room, he’ll see white, or if it’s llight, he’ll see black, or sometimes other colors. He says he just doesn’t really pay attention to what he sees anymore.
Why does the sun come out during the day, instead of at night when the light would be so much more useful?
What’s it all about, really, when you get right down to it?
Where IS Waldo?
Rosanne, if a man talks in a forest and there’s no one around to hear him, is he still wrong?
Poli means many, and tics are blood sucking animals. What’s politics?
If con is the opposite of pro, does that mean congress is the opposite of congress?
Why do we say “heads up” when we duck?
How do “don’t walk on the grass” signs get there?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say “I wonder what happens if I pull those dangly bits over there?”
What happens if you pop microwave popcorn the wrong side up?
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Why are they called buildings if they’re already done? Shouldn’t they be “builts” or something?
If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
Shouldn’t “monosyllabic” be a shorter word?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
Yes, my glasses shall rule the world! Except for the fact that I now have contacts.
If con is the opposite of pro, does that mean congress is the opposite of congress?
it’s:
If con is the opposite of pro, does that mean congress is the opposite of progress?
Typo. That’s what I meant.
who the heck was that guy who filled in for you once?
Is the hokey pokey really what it’s all about?
Why not 43?
Are you secretly scammers pretending to be good people pretending to be scammers pretending to be good people?
What kind of question is “Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?”? It’s in her name, for House’s sake!
Why don’t I rule the world?
Why don’t people give me huge bags of money just for existing?
Why does everyone who meets me die?
How come no one listens to me, even though I’m God?
What color is your toothpaste?
Did you go to college?
Are you me in disguise?
Why do all the boys in my school run away from me?
Why have I got ‘problems’?
What is the color of magic?
Why aren’t I famous?
Why don’t I list unanswerable questions off the internet like Sphinx is doing instead of making up my own?
Hey! That’s not true! I actually thought up all of those at some point or other. I write them down in a notebook. Honest.
Ooh! Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego! I like Rockapella- they’re pop, but it (the old stuff at least) is fun and original and stuff.. I wish I actually remembered seeing that show- it sounds like it would have been interesting. All I remember about it is seeing someone run around and duck into a telephone booth.
Some answers to Ebeth, (#19)
Favorite movies: Galaxy Quest (Never give up, never surrender!), Time Bandits, the BBC miniseries of Pride and Prejudice
Favorite magazines: Muse, of course. And Stanford Medicine. (I’d better say that in case my boss reads this.) And Science magazine (in case Robert reads this.) Also really good: Cook’s Illustrated and New York Times Magazine.
I ♥ Galaxy Quest!
Hey! I submitted this thread idea waaay back, and you said no! WAAH!! *pouts*
Here’s a puzzler: If Rosanne cut her hair, how would w e be able to tell our beloved OEADs apart? OHH! THE TRAGEDY!!
(Doesn’t “tragedy” mean something like “goat song” in Greek?)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, jsut say it’s some random zoo and it’s chimps. I know they evolved over time and such, and all that yadda yadda, but what I
m trying to say is is it possible that animals could evolve right under our noses? Even into creatures with upper cortexes and unique brains like ours? I’M DESPERATE HERE! PLEEEZE TELL ME BECAUSE MY TEACHER GIVES ME BAD ANSWERS!
Lusifer Ink!!!!????!!!! DID YOU JUST ASK WHY NOT 43?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Blasphemy! Lock her up!
Ebeth: Yes, I did. And I’m already locked up. In a yellow padded room. With a rubber ducky.
I have discovered the answer! Why not 43, I say? Because it is prime! Right?
‘Ello, all. Uh, why isn’t cafeteria food a national health hazard?
Um, no. It’s why not 43 because he was 42 when he wrote the book…
Em (#37),
The “progress/Congress” thing is funny the first time you hear it, but it becomes part of an interesting pattern when you examine it closely. “Con” as in “pro and con” is an abbreviation of the Latin contra, meaning “against.” The prefix con in words like Congress, however, means “together.” (According to my dictionary, the –gress part comes from a participle meaning “go,” ultimately from gradus, meaning “step.”) So we have pro+gress meaning going forward, con+gress meaning going (or coming) together, re+gress and retro+gress for going backward, di+gress meaning to go sideways (“step aside”), transgress meaning to go across (for example, crossing the line onto private property or into a forbidden zone).
so? who was that guy? the one who answered the question “why do crabs walk sideways?”
and why when i click on those feed thingys i get an error message?
She Who Must Not Be Named found the crab and other questions in a hundred-or-so-year-old parody of Q&A columns. I’m not sure exactly who wrote it. The Victorians and Edwardians had a lot of very funny writers whom almost nobody remembers nowadays.
Those feed thingies are another part of the blog software that I’m still trying to understand.
English Home is the best magazine ever. Totally.
Sphinx (#36), Different blind people see different things and some really don’t see anything — especially if they were born blind. And about the visual hallucinations: Not all blind people see these but some do. The ophthalmologist I spoke to said one of his blind patients repeatedly hallucinated the sight of people breaking into her apartment. She kept calling the police to report them.
I forgot to say in the last post: I think the woman who hallucinated people breaking into her apartment was going a little crazy in addition to being blind.
Ah. Well, that explains it.
So the purple people eaters are’nt REALLY playing hopscotch in my living room?
Well…they might be. You never know…have they tried eating any people yet?
GAPA Rosanne, what is your fav muse? & when is your birthday?
Somebody asked this in a letter a long way back, but Kokopelli did not give a satisfactory answer. So I shall ask the OEADs.
Is Koko 2-D or 3-D when he goes on random Earthy adventures?
And do the OEADs ever come to Chicago for anything? If you do, can I find out when so I can get your autographs?
*runs around trying to look like a stalker* *fails miserably*
how/why did you start this fanpage? wait, i think that’s answered on the fan page, if i can find it…
hmm.. sort of. who all is involved, anyway? besides the obvious, of course.
if i was i stalker at this site, i would give up. seriously.
Hi Em (#60),
My fav muse: it’s a toss up between Aeiou and Crraw. Aeiou inspires me — she’s so organized and focused. But Crraw’s poems crack me up, so I think he’s great too.
My birthday: If you asked me in person I’d tell you — but since this is the internet, I’m going to keep it hush hush. Let’s just say that it’s in the fall.
(We can put up your birthdays without worries because your real names aren’t posted here. But mine is! Am I neurotic? Maybe so.)
Em (#62),
I started the Fan Page because
(1) I thought Muse readers would enjoy it;
(2) I wanted to learn how to make Web pages;
(3) it was the most effective way to rally dormant Ko-konspirators and awaken them to their destinies as future rulers of this planet.
If pressed for more information about point 3, I will always insist that it’s just a joke. So you can ignore that part, because I’m only kidding. Really. Ha ha. Forget all about it.
i have always said that the GAPAs have a secret evil side that they never show us. no wait, i never have. oh well, I’m saying it now.
WHAT is the ko-konspiracy?
“Secret evil side”? Rubbish. Rosanne and I are the nicest people you’ll ever meet and are as honest as the day is long. It’s no crime to have a sense of humor, I hope. *maintains a straight face*
As for comment 61, you’d have to ask Larry Gonick about Koko’s dimensionality. Maybe he’s a fractal, somewhere between dimensions 2 and 3. Personally, I like Cedar’s idea in the old Requests/Ideas thread (comment 70) that a Muse movie should show him as a computer-generated shadow, but then he’d be invisible without a wall or something else nearby to “cast” himself on.
It’s not a secret evil side, Em, it’s fully expressed and out in the light of day.
Well, they did try to eat my cat.
Which brings me to ask if you have any pets. or if you’re actually your pets pretending to be people pretending to be pets pretending to be people and now I’m confused.
Sphinx, are you reffering to me? I never ate your cat, just chewed it up a bit.
Can’t you answer some of my questions? They were very thought out and philosophical, and you’re hurting my deep thinking side.
Sorry, LI–things have been rather hectic in my personal reality lately. I’ll give it a try.
Is the hokey pokey really what it’s all about?
It could well be. As the hokey pokey is an end in itself and doesn’t seem to be about anything else, it certainly looks like a plausible candidate for being what it’s all about. On the other hand, you could say the same thing about pie throwing.
Why not 43?
Why not, indeed?
Are you secretly scammers pretending to be good people pretending to be scammers pretending to be good people?
Nope. No secrets here.
What kind of question is “Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?”? It’s in her name, for House’s sake!
Not sure, but your question about the question is a rhetorical question.
Why don’t I rule the world?
Patience, Grasshopper.
Why don’t people give me huge bags of money just for existing?
It’s possible in principle. The catch is that everybody else would have to get bags of money for existing, too. With more money in their pockets, everybody would be able to pay more for everything. Once merchants noticed that, they would raise prices until everything wound up back where it started, but with higher numbers on the price tags. So it’s simpler just to skip the moneybags.
Why does everyone who meets me die?
Because they’re mortal–just like everyone who doesn’t meet you.
How come no one listens to me, even though I’m God?
I’m sorry, did you just say something?
What color is your toothpaste?
Not sure now. I can’t see that far down the drain.
Did you go to college?
Yes.
Are you me in disguise?
No, but it’s an understandable mistake.
Why do all the boys in my school run away from me?
Patience, Grasshopper.
Why have I got ‘problems’?
Because without them, you’d wind up like that thing in the November/December 2005 “Kokopelli & Company.” Ick.
What is the color of magic?
Other MuseBloggers have already answered this question.
Why aren’t I famous?
Keep hanging around here, and you’ll be infamous.
There you go.
What if a humungous meteorite landed on Earth, right where you are (were?) standing?
Would you… die (urgh… You know what, don’t answer that, because I realized that if that really happened, you would die)
If you were (are?) to live, would you:
Run away screaming?
Call the cops?
Tell the press?
Do the hokey-pokey cuz it’s what’s it all about?
Do somethin’ else because I can’t think of anything else?
I’d shake my fist at the sky and yell, “For the last time, Kokopelli, that’s NOT FUNNY.” Then I’d call Science magazine’s planetary-science writer. (I am the press.) Then I’d start a new MuseBlog thread for Musers who had survived meteor crashes.
If I post on here, after declaring publically that I was going away, does that make my previous announcement seem like a shameless bid for sympathy?
What is actually in mayonaise? Does anyone know?
Since white bread is actually not a food, what is it?
Is there some big scientific explanation for why it’s always darker before the dawn? Proverbial dawn, and literal dawn.
Are there any calories in steam? My older brother insists that there are, because calories are a measurement of energy, and steam is hot and moving, so it most definitely has energy, therefor it has calories, but I’m not convinced.
You previously stated that the hokey pokey has definite potential for being what it’s all about, since it’s an end in itself and doesn’t seem to lead anywhere. But doesn’t the hokey pokey lead to you looking stupid and insane in front of your friends? That’s the only reason I do it, is to freak out my friends. So doesn’t that mean that freaking out your friends by being weird and acting like a dweeb is really what it’s all about? If so, does that mean I’m living the perfect life?
Is this really going to be my last post, since I’m leaving in about an hour?
Are you actually going to answer all these questions?
True or false?
Usually.
what is the correct answer?
a) 3
b) 42
c) none of the above
d) all of the above
e) true
f) false
g) the negative square root of negative pi squared
h) pink
i) what?
j) Really, I don’t quite see the point of this.
Ah, but do you know the question?
MUST FIND THE QUESTION!!! *runs around in circles looking for the question until she gets pied and falls down dead…no, she’s just resting*
YES WHERE IS IT? WHERE? WHERE? NEEDS IT PRECIOUS…WAIT WRONG BOOK. FIND YOUR TOWEL STRAG!!!! PUT UP THE THREAD!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs around screaming and bangs her head on something or other that is conveniently added to the story to get her to shut up*
why did you just post the same thing on two threads?
i can’t tell you the question until you answer it.
I posted that on the wrong thread
i swear i was reading the writing thread but i must’ve accidentally hit the back button right before i posted or something…
GAPA answer Em’s question so i can get to sleep tonight! Otherwise i’ll stay up all night pondering The Question!
i
YAAAAAAY!! THE QUESTION THE QUESTION!!! EEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!! THE QUEEEEESSSSSSTTTTIOOOONNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok maybe just a little overexcited about this…but that’s ok. Overexcitement rocks.
*gasp* There was no question! It was an intelligence test. Well no, it was a ooo-lets-make-up-something-and-see-what-they-say test. I’m not sure what it shows though.
But there was an answer. You said “‘what’ is the correct answer,” so I picked “what.”
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!! *pulls out hair* You people…I’m a bit…emotional today aren’t i? oh my…
WHEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHHAHAHA! IT’S FUN BEING TOTALLY HYPER AND OVEREXCITED!!!!!!!!
good grief. it was an intelligence test. i didn’t even know that.
mine gasmuaze
my mom works for smithsonian books but muse is in chicago (right?) how can she talk to them? (actually me talking to them) them=muse people
What was your fav muse issue ever?
Who looked at a cow and said “I wonder what will happen if I squeeze those pink things”?
Ebeth (#91): The November/December 2003 “Magic in Middle-earth” issue. The cover was gorgeous, the articles were great, and Larry Gonick’s “Lard of the Rings” parody was the funniest thing he’s ever drawn. Some LOTR-phobic Musers felt left out, but as far as I’m concerned, volume 7, number 9 will be hard to beat.
“Muse Magazine
Robert from musefanpage.com sent in this link that has info on the November/December issue of Muse magazine that features articles on LOTR”
-the orlando bloom files
excuse me? you sent a muse link to an Orlando Bloom fansite? Ebeth, where did we put that hot bunny maker?
“Robert from Musefanpage writes: Muse, a magazine for kids aged 8 to 16, is devoting its November-December 2003 issue to the Lord of the Rings and fantasy. Articles will cover Elvish (including a handy Sindarin phrasebook), LOTR movie special-effects, and dragons. There will be also be a Return of the King spoof and a special parody adventure by cartoonist Larry Gonick.”
-TheOneRingdotnet
and here’s another one. what have you been doing, sending muse links to every lotr site ever?
Not Muse links–Fan Page links. I sent them to all the Lord of the Rings fansites just before the “Magic in Middle-earth” issue came out, and again when we posted the interview with David Salo. Shameless, I know, but we got 1,600 hits in one night and discovered a lot of hidden Musers (including the lass who runs the Arwen Undomiel site). Who knows–maybe we even sold a few subscriptions.
it seems that you have.
oooo clever
I love the arwen undomiel site. Onering.net is good too…
did u send one to bagginses? I ♥ bagginses!
they’re closed down now though
Maybe we should turn the GAPA (pl) into hot pink bunnies in our next random story…
I ♥ that arwen site 2!
but orlando bloom? really.
wait, did all those lotr fans post on the gaboomba? (did i spell that rite?)
No, most just looked and lurked, but our ISP’s (Internet Service Provider’s) computer counted them. It was like an invisible stampede.
“Arwen” is probably still in high school. She was 15 when I got in touch with her about the LOTR issue. She said she subscribed to Muse and would be happy to swap links. Then she asked, “Did you know this site was made by a kid? If not, could you have guessed?” I said (truthfully) no, and no. A remarkable young elf-woman. Noldor, for sure.
Okay……
The problem with LotR fansites, and Newsies fansites and such, is that they are hard to keep active, due to the fact that J.R.R. Tolkien isn’t going to rise from the grave and write another book to discuss.
I have to know…..
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
And you never answered about the pets.
Or the Purple People Eaters.
WHAT is…. your… um…. er… favourite….um….museblogger! wait, i know the answer!
GAPA: I like you all equally.
see? i know.
That’s roughly but not strictly true. I do have momentary favorites. In general, they’re the ones who haven’t made me zap any attempted links lately.
well. if you did have a favourite, yo wouldn’t tell us. and it wouldn’t be me, because i will shortly filibuster your quotes thread. don’t worry, it’ll be on topic.
Can we quote you on that?
hold on while i contact my lawyer…
ok, y’know what? i give up. that stupid out w/ the old thread is not going to load. ever. i shall never know what our comment said.
your. i meant your.
I can predict the past. And so shall it was.
What is your favorite inspirational saying or quote?
“He who feels punctured must first have been a bubble.”
–Lao Tzu, in the Tao Teh Ching
“The problem with stupid people is that they are too stupid to realize their own stupidity.”
(#113):
That reminds me of Despair, Inc.
“Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”
i am not what i am.
justice would save his friends, but justice was a kid.
DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH MY QUOTES THREAD!
Jessica just made up the stupid people quote. Personally I think it has no meaning, but she thinks it’s clever.
Ahem! Rosanne and I are here to answer questions. There are plenty of other places on the blog where you can bicker.
Now, where were we? I remember reading something about sliced bread not long ago. The key innovation was wrapping the bread immediately so the slices didn’t dry out, but I’m not sure exactly when that happened. Depending on the date, I’d guess that the best thing before it was either vulcanized rubber, zippers, or can openers.
On the topic of bread, MontgomeryGurl asked what white bread is, since it clearly isn’t food. I’d venture that it’s a clay mineral, probably related to kaolinite. She also wanted to know what’s in mayonnaise. Mostly carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen.
Moving right along…
Again.
Who looked at a cow and said “I wonder what would happen if I pulled those pink dangly things?”
Answer to Lusifer Ink’s question:
Who looked at a cow and said “I wonder what would happen if I pulled those pink dangly things?”
Old MacDonald (had a farm, EIEIO)
Sphinx, the best thing before sliced bread was …
the can opener.
Until that came along, opening up a can of tuna fish was almost impossible.
I disagree. Indoor plumbing is better.
yaaay for despair inc!!! love that place…
Ok GAPA now we will make you answer questions Erm…Have you joined any evil conspiracies lately? If so, what?
Oh and fav vacation place!
LI — I’m not sure. I’ve stayed in places without indoor plumbing, but they all had can openers.
How about agriculture? That’s pretty handy.
Favorite vacation place: Ocean City, Maryland.
My couch is a close second.
Evil conspiracies I’ve joined lately: The Administration. Mwa ha ha ha ha.
who pied those little thingys that were going to replace stuff in some issue or another? there were there one issue and the next one they were pied.
what inspired you to becoma a GAPA?
My great lust for power and for virtual choklit inspired me to become a GAPA
Em – What little thingys were pied? I’m at a loss on this one. Help!
I thought it was Koko…
Em means that one issue where the Mysterious Editors went all Evil Censorship Peoples and started making little signs for “I hate Milton Rupines” and “Please print this letter” and “Koko is the greatest” and other often-said things like that. Then the next issue it was pied.
When are you going to get tired of your huge stock of virtual choklit and give it all to ME?!?!?!?
isn’t it always Koko?
AAAHH! you can’t give it all to ebeth just because she’s cooler!
……
oh… um… i mean…
Why do penguins have wings when they can’t fly?
Mwahaha! Yes! Will be MINE!!!
well i might give some away if you threaten me enough…or bribe me…
Will you ever make a quotes thread?
when the other ones die.
penguins are cute but demented in bird terms
why musepet_chad? why not musepet_pwt?
exactly how long did it take you to understand that wordpress site? and can you honestly say that you have never fought with your blog software?
what is musepet_chad?
Penguins rock!!!! my pic on xanga is a penguin. With a hockey helmet. I got it off the dom-land caribou site. And GAPA plz don’t zap it cuz A-it’s not a link and B-it’s not even the site address so C-if people want to find it they can type it into google which D-people only do if they REALLY want to find it. So meh.
Who ♥ oranges??? (Ebeth: memememe!!!!
GAPA: ask the GAPA not ask the Ebeth!!!
Ebeth: Oh well. Oranges still rock.
GAPA: AARGH! I give up! This is now another polling place thread!
Em: NO!!!!! NO MORE NEW THREADS!!!!!!!! I shall filibuster you!
Ebeth: whatever that means…
Em: *explains*
Ebeth: Look! Choklit!
Em: *sigh*
GAPA: OH NO! SHE’S DISCOVERED OUR SECRET STASH!!!!! AAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ebeth: *eats choklit*
GAPA: When are people going to ask us qwestions?
Kricket: Isn’t questions spelled with a u?
Ebeth: Yeah well i’ve been reading those cat books and i’ve decided there’s no real use for the letter u.
Kricket: There are lots of uses for it! Like the word uses!
Ebeth: You must mean yooses!
Kricket: *sigh*
Ebeth: Who wants some choklit?
Assembled musebloggers+GAPA: ME! ME!
Ebeth: heehee. *eats more choklit*
Assembled musebloggers+GAPA: *are sad*
Ebeth: Oh fine. *gives up some choklit and goes to sulk in a corner and nibble on some more choklit*
Assembled musebloggers+GAPA: YAY!!! *eat choklit*
Ebeth: *sulkpout*
Em: I haven’t been in the story for a while, have I?
Sphinx: yeah well I haven’t been in it at all!
Lusifer Ink: Me neither!
dark lord of darkness: I haven’t been in either!!!
Ebeth: *scrolls up* hmm…who else can i add in to help cause chaos and mayhem? Any of the musebloggers will do…
D_Q: Lo, I am here!
MG: Wow I’m waaaay up there. You must be desperate for chaos if you’re scrolling that far up.
Ebeth: Actually i’m just out of ideas for the plot but too bored to get off…
Everybody else: Wait, there was a plot?
Ebeth: erm…yeah…let me find it a second…
Em: This is really long.
Ebeth: Ok i’ll find some other way to be bored.
GAPA: Don’t forget this is all in parentheses!
Ebeth: Right. Thanks. *adds parentheses*
Everybody else: Huzzah!
Ebeth: Eugapae!
Everybody else: *stares*
Ebeth: I feel sorry for the poor roman children who were forced to say “Eugapae” every time they were happy.
GAPA: Parentheses…
Ebeth: Oh. Right. *leaves*)
em will be bad now and link you.
Overly protective museblog administrator cut this link
GAPA: oooh bad em
Em: mwahahahaha
oh, and filibustering is when senators don’t want the senate to vote on a bill so they talk for a long time and everybody gives up. actually they just read random stuff, like phone books or shrimp gumbo recipes or anything long. it goes into the congressinal record.
wat does ‘GAPA’ mean?
ack! but is was a link to Robert’s neopet! c’mon, neopets isn’t that scary… well maybe it is. actually its very scary. oh well. but why did you create a muse neopet if you think neopets is bad? which administrator cut that link anyway?
GAPA Rosanne cut the link.
But on second thought, Robert’s neopet is “mostly harmless.” So send the link again and I’ll post it.
GAPA means Great And Powerful Administrator in MuseBlogese.
http://www.neopets.com/search.phtml?selected_type=pet&string=MusePet_Chad
why did you tell us what GAPA stands for? don’t we all know? or does everything the GAPAs say have to be absolutely clear?
ooh, libro asked. how do you not know?
I thought Robert’s neopet was dead due to neglect…
neopets can’t die.
Sphinx (134): the quotes thread is coming this weekend.
Ebeth (139): That choklit shoor is tasty, isn’t it? I think virchewal choklit is the best. And thank goodness yoo remembered the parentheses. They’re delishes too.
I forgot my username
maybe i’ll make a new one…
nice, ebeth…
ok, if someone starts bloggin w/ perfect grammar, why do they detiriorate into an eglish teacher’s worst nightmare?
idk but speaking of blogging i made one of those blogs where cavefish’s thing is. Is that postable? probably not…but just asking…
It’s da weekend.
No one answers my questions.
I figured out GAPA all by myself, but I still prefer TPTB.
Is Muse ever going to do an artical about what goes on inside a morgue? Are they saving that for next halloween or something?
Em (137),
I named my Neopet after Chad because it’s a Blue Techno. I don’t remember the details, but he’s supposed to have some sort of geeky technical ability.
Lizzie (156),
People have been asking about morgues for years. Whether the editors decide to tackle the subject this year is entirely up to them. If you’re interested in the topic, though, I recommend a book called Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach. Mary is fine and very funny science writer who has written six articles for Muse.
LI (155 and 132),
I think we’ve answered almost all of your questions so far. As for the penguins, they have wings because their ancestors had wings. Like all other flightless birds alive today (ostriches, emus, moas, kiwis, etc.), they are descended from birds that did fly. Penguins use their wings a lot when they’re swimming, though. Have you ever seen films of them underwater? They’re amazingly fast and graceful.
March of the Penguins. Fascinating. Penguins eating, swimming, and walking.
Thank you, GAPA. You’ve been very helpful.
Seriously, you’ve answered all my questions, most of which have not been so seriously. But my stock of questions is ever replenishing.
Where do you work?
Do you have any job other than working for Science magazine and Muse?
What chemicals do they use in Fusion bombs?
How do you make a Fusion bomb?
Does it require apples?
Where I work: on the 11th floor of the American Association for the Advancement of Science building on the northwest corner of 12th and H Streets in Washington, D.C.
Job other than Science and Muse: not really. On Thursday nights I tutor inner-city kids in math, but that’s a volunteer activity, not a job.
Fusion bombs: Plutonium, usually, though I hear Chad makes them out of paper clips. You can probably find detailed plans for those and other weapons of mass destruction online somewhere. Apples aren’t required, though eating apples while you work makes most jobs more pleasant, I find.
ok, in some Q&A collum, someone asked why knuckles pop, and the answer was that air bubbles were formed and then popped. so, why do knuckles pop only some of the time?
Really? Plutonium? I thought Uranium. I’ll ask my dad. He knows this sort of thing.
Phoenix lied.
Where does Chad get all these paper clips?
I challenged ur neopet to a fight. Rawr.
*gasp* GAPA!!!!!!!! You just gave us top-secret information! What if we’re crazy stalkers???!!!???
Inner Crazy Stalker: Mwahaha…let’s go to washington d.c.
Oh no! you’re going to have to ZAP your own post!! AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!
lol
Are you sure you don’t work at Harvard?
Wait. I thought you lived in California. Now you tell me you work in DC?
You play neopets?
Can I have all your money?
Can I have all your choklit?
That’s creepy. I’m reading Stiff right now. Pater keeps stealing it, so maybe I will wait till he is finished and then start it.
What degrees do both of you have?
It’s Techo. Not Techno. 0_o
Oops. Sorry!
Would you like to adopt Chad? I’ve been an awfully negligent parent, I’m afraid.
erm…if you really want me too…i probably have about five others floating around on forgotten usernams/passwords… (I’m an awfully negligent parent too)
i asked my lb if he wanted one. He said he doesn’t want a neopet but he wants to play all the games on there. So yeah, why don’t u put it up for adoption and i’ll feed it and leave james to get all the money.
Okay, okay. Who is Chad? I’m a newbie here.
*is attacked by Zyviva who is singing Newsie songs at the top of her lungs*
NEWBIE! I said newBie, not newSie!
hi. i’m sure you all missed me. no, im just kidding. this is the coolest thread, so i shall randomly post on it. i live maybe a coupla hours from dc, so the next time i go there i will track you down… mwahahahaha
run away!!!!
Lusifer (166),
No, Rosanne lives and works in California. I live in Virginia and work in Washington, D.C.
I’m not worried about stalkers. What would they do? Follow me around asking questions like “why do metal jar lids expand when you run hot water over them?” and “how are frogs different from toads?”?
–Robert, not to be confused with Rosanne
I NEVER SAID THAT!
anser miy qwestchon. pwease?
Phoenix, care to clarify?
Never mind.
lilbro77 (179),
You mean your question in 162? ok, in some Q&A collum, someone asked why knuckles pop, and the answer was that air bubbles were formed and then popped. so, why do knuckles pop only some of the time?
That was Rosanne’s question, so I’m not sure about the answer. But as I understand it, what happens is that the when you stretch a joint, the decrease in pressure pulls dissolved gas out of the fluid around the joint. If there’s enough gas, it forms a bubble, which pops. So I suspect that when your joint can’t pop, it’s because there isn’t enough gas in the fluid. Maybe you’ve popped your knuckle so recently that the gas from the bubble hasn’t had time to dissolve again. Maybe the tissue near the joint is letting gas leak out, so it can’t build up in the fluid. Sounds plausible to me. What do you say, Rosanne?
Makes sense to me, Mr. Coontz. Mrs. Spector (she mentioned a husband some time ago) might laugh at us as being unbelievably wrong, but oh well. *cracks knuckles*
I don’t think I’ve ever confused you with Rosanne.
What’s that little groove from your nose to your mouth called? What’s its function?
wait, there is something the GAPAs don’t know?!?!
Your names both start with Ro, and they’re both in green. Plus, I’m oblivious.
There’s plenty we don’t know. Why do you think we’re always asking the World’s Foremost Authorities to help us answer your Q&A questions? Because we like to? (Actually, we do enjoy shooting the breeze with WFAs, but the main reason is that we need to.)
oh. that makes sense.
Gung hay fat choy.
QJ (183),
The groove is called a philtrum. I have no idea what it’s for. Maybe Rosanne does.
L777 (187),
Hey, that’s right! Chinese New Year is coming up. I remember running through the streets yelling that when I was seven, at a big parade in San Francisco. A huge dragon danced down the street, street vendors sold food I’d never seen before, and firecrackers were exploding everywhere. Magical.
What was the weirdest question anybody ever submitted to the Q&A column? (Note-the Q&A column, NOT the Ask the GAPAs thread.
)
Robert (182), that knuckle popping explanation sounds right to me.
Probably the one about Napoleon’s B-52 bomber.
An almost-complete list of questions Rosanne and I have answered in the column is on the Fan Page.
hi peoples that will take over the world in 5 days and 59 seconds
hi
we will? i had no idea…
is this part of mostly harmless or something?
HI KITTYKAT!
hihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihi
lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol
yoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyo
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalal
hi kricket
yo kricket
bu bi
hey KittyKat? it’s a little something called homework.. yes i know it’s so amazing i actually have a life outside of the museblog…
WHAT is the negative square root of negative pi squared?
I’ll probably answer this wrong because I haven’t done a math problem involving square roots in a couple of decades.
Here’s my answer, though I don’t guarantee that it’s a CORRECT answer:
The negative square root of negative pi squared is: negative pi! ???
Did I get it right?????
ummm… yes! it is!~
That was fun.
i gots a queston!!!!!!!
Why are dogs allergic to choklit?
I’ve heard that eating choklit is unhealthy for dogs but I don’t know if that’s really true — and if so, why it’s so bad for them. I’m going to have to get in touch with a WFA (World’s Foremost Authority) and find out. That’s a very interesting question.
My job at Stanford is keeping me very busy these days, though, so it might be a few weeks before I get to the bottom of this mystery.
The Musers get very bemused
And really are very confused
So to clear up the sky
They asked the GAPA “Why?”
And thought waves ran down their philtrums
While they banged their keyboards like drums.
It’s not very good, is it? No, too many odd rhymes. Totally sounds like Noddy Holder trying to cooperate with Sid Vicious. (Interesting thought…)
I think the rhythm gets off in the last two couplets..
So, Juliette, since you have this overflow of poetic spirit, when are you going to finish the museical?
“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make when they go by.” – Douglas Adams
Uh…oh, it’s HARD to write a musical. Harder than you think. In the musical we take the show on the road, and an assembled company of GAPA and Musers take a journey across America’s Gallbladder. Along the way, we learn many cynical, pessimistic lessons, make bad puns, good jokes, and ruthlessly parodize everyone from Jerry Garcia to Eric Idle to Terry Pratchett. Yes, Pratchett can be parodized. It takes a special kind of talent.
I could post the first few scenes, I guess. I am also a perfectionist, so there you go.
Why does the keyboard have its letters where it does? it isnt very logical to put them where they are.
Whoa. /You/ have a /neopet/???
You are kidding me.
Weird.
Very weird.
But kool all the same.
Because all Neopians are kool!!
Yay for me ‘cuz I’m a neopian!
(My username is similar to my name here, but I’m not telling you. So there)
But the most common letters are in the places easier to reach right? Like Q and X aren’t easy to reach but they aren’t common letters anyway.
Is that right? Do i get hot pink bunny points? Do i get virtual choklit? Or do i get thrown out the window for answering a question put to the GAPA? *cowers in fear* Please don’t throw me out the window!!!
Why do adults ride bikes leading to nowhere? Here it is, a beautiful day with no snow
not even all that cold and yet what do my parents do? Go to the JCC and ride bikes that don’t go anywhere!!! Perhaps the GAPA, being adults, can enlighten me on this strange habit of grownups. But then again, they’re musers… 
but e is the most common letter in the alfabet and it is in the same place in relation to your left hand as x is
I’m told that the QWERTY keyboard was actually designed to make people type slower. Early mechanical typewriters were based on hammers moved by levers, and if you typed too fast the levers jammed. To keep that from happening, the inventors arranged the keys to make it harder to type combinations of letters that were common in English. People have designed other keyboards, notably one called Dvorak, on which it’s possible to type faster.
That’s the story. I haven’t checked it, though.
wow…that’s…interesting!
Not that it works all that well, cuz i type faster than i write. And i don’t type half as quickly as my mom does…
although that might just be because my handwriting sucks. But then it could also be that my handwriting sucks because i never use it, because typing is faster. Or something like that.
Who knows…
hey GAPA i has a question. Go me. how does an internet connection work? Specifically an airport express. the connection upstairs is messed and dad keeps fixing it but it gets messed up again…which keeps me away from the museblog!!!!
Oh horror!!! Curses upon everybody within cursing distance!
I think the position of the keys are very logical. I mean, if you just put them in alphabetical order, it wouldn’t be very fun since all of your fingers would tangle up, right? Who invented the QWERTY keyboard anyways? I knew at one point but I suppose I forgot.
“Dvorak”? i have never heard of that. i guess i better google it
this is the final judgement (because i cant post the link)
The Dvorak Keyboard
! @ # $ % ^ & * ( ) [ +
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 ] =
” P Y F G C R L ?
‘ , . p y f g c r l /
A O E U I D H T N S _
a o e u i d h t n s –
: Q J K X B M W V Z
; q j k x b m w v z
The Dvorak keyboard, named for its inventor, Dr. August Dvorak, was designed with the goal of maximizing typing efficiency. For over a century, typists have been using the qwerty keyboard arrangement, a hack that was implemented to work around the mechanical limitations of early typewriters.
Contrary to popular opinion, the qwerty design was not actually invented to slow typists down. Rather, the layout was intended to place common two-letter combinations on opposite sides of the keyboard. On manual typewriters, each key is mechanically connected to a lever that has the reversed image of a letter on it. If a typist were to hit two keys on the same side of the keyboard in rapid succession, the second lever on its way up would hit the first on its way down, the keys would become stuck together, and the typist would have to stop typing and unstick the keys. The qwerty layout was a clever design that minimized this problem. However, now that most of us use computers (or electric typewriters that don’t use levers), the problem of keys jamming is no longer a consideration. Also, computers now enable us to switch layouts while continuing to use the same equipment.
Most people learn to type on a qwerty keyboard. New typists learn the qwerty arrangement because that’s most likely what they’ll encounter on the existing equipment they’ll be using; new equipment is standardized to the qwerty arrangement because that’s what the vast majority of us know. Most people are reluctant to switch because they’re afraid of how long it will take them to learn the new arrangement, and of the additional effort of having to switch layouts on all of the equipment they might encounter.
Dvorak’s Claims
According to Dvorak, prior to World War II, researchers had found that after three years of typing instruction, the average typing student’s speed was 47 net words per minute (NWPM). Since typists were scarce during the war, the U.S. Navy selected fourteen typists for a 1944 study to assess whether Dvorak retraining would be feasible. Dvorak found that it took an average of only 52 hours of training for those typists’ speeds on the Dvorak keyboard to reach their average speeds on the qwerty keyboard. By the end of the study their Dvorak speeds were 74 percent faster than their qwerty speeds, and their accuracies had increased by 68 percent.
Dvorak attributed the increase in accuracy to the fact that on keyboard, that the most common digraphs (two-letter combinations, such as “ed”) in English would occur with a minimum of “hurdling” (having to jump over a key as if it were a hurdle), and would use stronger fingers rather than weaker ones. Dvorak estimated that the fingers of an average typist in his day travelled between 12 and 20 miles on a qwerty keyboard; the same text on a Dvorak keyboard would require only about one mile of travel. Dvorak believed that hurdling and awkward keystroke combinations were responsible for most of the common errors typists make. His list of the most common typing errors on the Dvorak and qwerty keyboards is interesting.
Unfortunately, subsequent investigation has shown that at best, the experiments in the Navy study were biased, and at worst, fabricated. See Typing Errors, from the June 1996 issue of Reason Magazine for a thorough discussion of this topic, as well as more information about the early history of the typewriter and the qwerty keyboard. In the mid 1950s, U.S. Government’s General Services Administration commissioned a study by Earle Strong to confirm Dvorak’s results. Strong’s study, which included proper controls and which was set up to allow direct comparison of qwerty and Dvorak data, found that after sufficient training, Dvorak typists were able to match their previous qwerty speeds, but not surpass them. Furthermore, additional qwerty training for qwerty typists resulted in a greater increase in speed than additional Dvorak training for Dvorak typists who typed at a similar rate. These results would suggest that Dvorak’s claims of faster and more efficient typing are bogus, and switching layouts on the basis of speed and efficiency would not make sense.
My Own Experience
Having heard Dvorak’s claims, but not the modern-day scientific analysis of his experiments, I decided to switch to the Dvorak layout in the late 1980s, when computer software (specifically version 10 of the X Window System) made it fairly simple to remap the keyboard layout without making any hardware changes. It took a few months for my Dvorak speed to catch up to my qwerty speed. I found the Dvorak layout to be more comfortable and less effort.
For a period of four or five years, I used the qwerty layout at work (on a shared DOS computer), and the Dvorak layout at home, spending about half of my typing time on each. During that time, my Dvorak speed increased to 90 wpm, and my qwerty speed reached 80 wpm. My accuracy improved slightly on both layouts. On the Dvorak layout, my most common typos are reversing two letters, whereas on the qwerty layout, it’s more common for me to hit the wrong key altogether. (Note also that several people have made the claim that it’s impossible to be able to switch back and forth between different keyboard layouts. That certainly hasn’t been my experience, and I’m always happy to demonstrate for non-believers.)
The greatest benefit I’ve found from the Dvorak layout is that, in addition to feeling more comfortable, the typing-related discomfort I was beginning to experience in my wrists and forearms diminished, even though the amount of typing I was doing remained constant. Once my workplace switched from DOS to Windows and I was able to use the Dvorak layout everwhere, those problems vanished and have not returned. I believe that Dvorak’s claims that his layout requires less “hurdling” over keys and less total finger travel are true, and that this is more or less directly responsible for the reduction in RSI (Repetitive Strain Injury) symptoms that I have experienced.
Ah! Informative! All hail google!
*gasp* Mine faith has been shaken!!!! AAAHHH!!!!!!!! THE GAPA WAS WRONG!!!! THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END!!! FLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NOOOO!!!!
*sob*
Oh well. I’ve been traumatized and scarred for life and had my faith shaken. I think that’s enough tragedy for one day.
i jk y’know. You rock anyway.
why is phonetic spelled the way it is?
Ah… wuzzletuppingpok! that is the magic word…
wait. wuzzletuppingpok that is the magic word?! what does THAT mean?!
never mind. im confused. confuzzled. whatever. what does the magic word do anyway? im tired. better go to be-
wait what am i saying!! bed = nasty! ickyickynasty bed. grr…
plz answer. i need mental help, and the answer (whatever that is) is apparently the only cure. save me!!!!!!!!!!
what happens after the gapas become old and expire?
how do you create a website anyway?
why did you pick this theme out of all the others?
what is that login form that you can get to by clicking on the little gray link at the bottom of the blog for?
i think… i think that that is how the GAPAs get their special powers!
*gasp* I’ve got it! The GAPA get their powers from clicking the gray link and typing in wuzzletuppingpok! lilbro was getting on to them, but the GAPA used their secret mind powers to confuzzle her and convince her she was going insane!!!! YES! I’VE GOT IT!!!!!
Error: Wrong username.
Ah well. So I was wrong. What do you think i am, a GAPA?
Although it said “Wrong username” not “wrong password”
!!!
I think we’re on to something here!!!
i tried that too, but it said the same tihng when i typed in a ton of random stuff
wait!
lets ask the GAPA what it is!
What is that small gray link on at the bottom that says login?
i tried it too, but i got ‘wrong usernme’ too, so i think it just means wrong password. i tried “musepass” (not very creative, but what the heck) as a password, and for usernames i tried “Robert Coontz”, “robertcoontz” and “rcoontz”. i think it’s the latter, because i seem to remember it from some list of technical error data i got once while we were experiencing those.
so, will you answer my questions? my other questions? i really want to know how to create a website, even though i’ll probably forget almost immediately.
The “login” buttons are one way the GAPAs can moderate the blog, but they have other uses, too. For example, some blogs are set up so that only registered users can post comments. Anyone who decides to stop lurking and start posting has to fill out a form and get the administrators’ approval first, and then enter a username and password every time he or she wants to post. We decided to make MuseBlog more casual than that.
oh good thank you! I hate it when i have to get approval to join a forum or something and i can see the posts slipping by…
i quote the wordpress site: (which can also be found at the little gray links at the bottom)
“More simply, WordPress is what you use when you want to work with your blogging software, not fight it.”
this isnt actually a blog is it?
its a forum. (right?)
It’s a blog that functions as a forum. If this were like most blogs, Rosanne and/or I would blather on and on and then let you comment on what we’d said. But as you are much more interesting than we are (not to mention being People of Destiny), it seems only fair to let you set the pace and the agenda and hog the spotlight. Hence, a most unbloglike blog.
And there we see the beautiful simplicity of life.
It is a blog, therefore it acts as a forum
Somebody is an Alice in wonderland fan…
Yes. And Through the Looking-Glass even more so.
I’m suprised there’s no lewis carroll thread by now…
wait. where did i say wuzzletuppingpok!?
and is that the pass word???
Post #222
Awesome number.
And no that’s not the password. Wishful thinking. *sigh* need a new evil plan to get a choklit thread up…
oh. that. that was off the top of my head. meh. wuzzletuppingpok was… i dunno. “that” is the magic word, by the way….
hey, Ebeth, remember the whole pwease = the GAPA controling word? let’s use it!!
If you do, you’ll never get a choklit thread from me.
Oooooh dear. Scary GAPA.
*backs away slowly* Niiiice GAPA…niiiiice…
lol jk!
why do you hate the word-that-is-not-said-lest-the-GAPA’s-wrath-come-upon-you-like-a-horde-of-hot-pink-bunnies-and-lightning-wielding-ducks so much anyway?
What is everyone talking about? what word?
“pwease”
Oh, and please dont hunt me down and kill me for asking this, but what does(winces) GAPA stand for?
I think that was explained most recently on the Mozart thread.
why no Olympic thread?
Good idea!
My question was already answered, but I want TPTB to find out more. That’s what you’re theref or, right? Slaves of our curiousity.
What happens to things that are sucked into black holes?
besides the HTMLs shown at the bottom of this page, what are some others that work on Museblog, if any?
how do you make those other symbols shown in post 7 and pwease answer that other question in post 7.
BPMM,
– I’m not sure. Probably none.
– Haven’t a clue, but you might find some good symbols listed on this Web site.
– Other question (“Why is there the ‘?l?”): I don’t know, but I’ve become fond of it. It will probably disappear next time we upgrade the blog software.
I said it on some other thread, I’ll say it now. Why doesn’t Chad build a automatic moderator so we don’t have to wait for other people to read our comments?
Too make sure we dont give away our location or say bad things.
Because this is a blog, not a chatroom. Quick moderation is the exception, not the rule, and you shouldn’t count on it. (Alas, Rosanne and do have other things to do–jobs to support our MuseBlog habit, for example.)
Alas, no!
Yes!
But the automatic moderator could watch all those things and control it. It could, like, make sure we didn’t say bad things. After all, Chad is a genius!
Also, if i press Tab, it doesn’t type a tab. It sends me to the top of the page. Why does it do that?
And will someone please write a summary of the Round Robin ‘Riting story? I don’t have time to read the whole thing.
Thirdly, the Hot Topics thread won’t let me post any comments. Fix it!
Again, why isn’t my name on the Who’s Here page?
Dont worry. I explained the tab thing to her.
And i just explained to her how she is on the whos here page. I rock.
Yo, Ebeth (post 139) how’d you make the heart?
&
hearts
;
♥
ta daaaaaaaaaaaaa. *bows*
Thanks. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
If I put (a) before it, can I make green hearts?
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Yay!
Green hearts! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 
And Jadestone wishes you all luck for no aparent reason!♣
And Jadestone wishes you all luck for no aparent reason!♣
Dang! I hate being on the same computer. The luck all came from Jadestone. If it even showed up, which it lookes like it didnt do. Heres some more just in case. &clubs
can someone help me with those HTMLs at the bottom of the page? NOW? sorry about that.
Ok everything has in front, and then after whatever u wanted to say.
A makes it green… Greeeeen
The a href thing at the bottom there makes it a *gasp* evil link… Ex: link to top of page
abbr titile…dunno. Let’s test, shall we?
ello? Testing…
Acronym title…same…
testing…
Bold is the same as green but with a b. So then bold words then
ooooh bold
Blockquote cite, no idea. More testing…
Code makes it that different font, w/highlight. Same as bold and green, but with code instead.
helloSame for em, but with em in there instead of b, a, or code
oooh pwetty
Strike crosses it out. Same as bold, green, and all those. Except it says strike where the b or a or em or code would go.
ello…And strong is like bold. Same as the green etc.
ooooh….aaaah
Oh yeah and italics are the same format again, with an i where the b/strong/strike/whatever would go
itaaaaaliiiics
arrr ze examples didn’t work.
For bold it’s
words
words
ARRRGH! Ok put where the parentheses are and go (b)word(/b)
word
Dearest Gapas, why do I get so many WordPress error messages? It seems like Museblog only works 1/2 times I visit it…
The Supreme Extreme Imperial Internet GAPAs who run the World Wide Web have warned us that if MuseBlog worked 100 percent of the time, the Web would collapse under the weight of all the e-mail traffic. So our host company deliberately takes our site off line half the time for the greater good.
I thought we were going to call them Bobby and Rosie now.
♣
♣ ♥ ♣ ♥ ♣ ♥ ♣ ♥ ♣ ♥ ♣ ♥ ♣ ♥ ♣ ♥ ♣ ♥ ♣ ♥
If I can do clubs and hearts, can i do diomonds and spades too?
&diomonds;
♠
Okay, it will do a spade, but not a diomond. That’s weird.
Maybe because you misspelled “diamond.” I’ll try:
&diamonds;
⋄
Nope, guess not.
Jadestone told me. You do (&diams) with a simicolon after it. Like this.
♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦
♣ Good luck to eyeryone!! ♣
Can we have a P.G. Wodehouse thread? Please? Por favor? Sil v’ous plait? We’ve been good Musers, we really have been.
All in favor say NAY!
NAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Sometimes life gets boring, and you have to confuse a few people.)
NAY!
even though i don’t know who PG Wodehouse is. thats how trusting and dedicated i am, fellow musers
P.G.Wodehouse is the ZArkleseizure, the bee’s knees, the wasp’s nipples, in fact the entire set of erogenous zones of every insect between here and Santraginus V.
NAY!
Wow, that was a real help. Thanks a lot. And why isn’t this thread on the regular page anymore?
NAY!
if you look at the top of the page, there should be a button labled ‘archives’ (unless it has been magically removed by kokopelli between the time i post this and the time you read it) click on it. see the lllloooooonnnnngggg list? thats a list of threads. they are not all on the homepage. i have been nagging robert to make a ‘popular threads’ section under the ‘recent posts’ section, but he sofar has resisted. there is also a button at the bottom ofthe page labeled ‘previous posts’ (unless it too has been removed by koko) where you can see the threads that were recently on the homepage.
Thanks.
Aren’t the GAPA’s supposed to be answering these? After all, its called Ask The GAPA’s.
Violetfire (291),
New threads push the old ones down unless we GAPAs stick them to the top of the blog. We usually do that with the monthly threads, “Welcome, Newcomers,” and birthday greetings. The other ones remain accessible, though, unless we shut them down.
Will you please put it back on the monthly page? I don’t like having to go to Archives to get here.
Thanks a lot for putting my B-day on!
(again, i didn’t say pwease)
Thanks for not saying That Which Must Not Be Said, but there’s nothing I can do. As new topics come along, old ones move downward and then onto previous pages. If you don’t like the Archives, though, you can get here by scrolling down to the bottom of the first page and hitting the little “Previous Page” button.
GAPA, you cuddly dream-rabbits, can you put up Towel Day (March 25) up on the calendar? It’s basically Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Fest Day. Please? (Note the ‘L’) Don’t Panic!
Feb.11-42nd day of the year
May 11-Douglas Adams’ death, 2001 (sob)
Sir Pelham Wodehouse, or P.G. Wodehouse (1882-1975) was a British comedy writer who wrote such popular titles as Jeeves and Wooster, Mr. Mulliner, Lord Emsworth/Blandings Castle, Psmith (the p is silent), and Ukridge, among other comedies featuring 1920s-30s England satirical comedy. He was married to an actress whose name I forget, and had a daughter who went into chartered accounting, but never wanted to become a lion tamer. His works were greatly admired by such people as Bop Ad (popular comedic science fiction writer Douglas Adams), Noddy Holder (the frontman of British glam rock band Slade), Paul McCartney (famous ex-Beatle musician) and Queen Victoria. We still don’t know what the G. stood for.
I think it’s like Grenville or something…
Grenville? Gregson?
It’s weird to think of Noddy Holder reading Wodehouse. I mean, how did Noddy see through those sideburns?
I have never seen Noddy Holder, but I am imagining his sideburns now. I think I’ll Google him and see if i find a picture somewhere.
I SENT YOU GUYS SOME QUESTIONS ABOUT A MONTH AGO, BUT I’M NOT SURE A SENT THEM TO THE RIGHT ADRESS!
SHOOT!
ANYWAY, MY MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION WAS:
WILL THE DOCUMENTARY ON BONOBOS TITLED: ‘GHOSTS OF LAMAKO’ BE COMING TO DVD AND VHS? AND IF SO, WHEN?
IF YOU COULD ANSWER THIS QUESTION, MY LIFE WOULD BE COMPLETE!
I WORSHIP THE LIVING HELL OUT OF THOSE GORGEOUS PRIMATES!
PS: I HAVE STARTED REFERING TO ROBERT AND ROSANNE, AS ‘GOD.’
PPS: THANK YOU ‘GOD.’
I have a question.
Why does the Who’s Here page not reflect my altered exsistence as a muffin?
To be fair, I’m not exactly sure when I changed it . . . it may have been exceedingly recently.
~Luna
I had a question for you but i forgot it.
I’ll try to remember…
I HAVE NO CLUE IF MY QUESTIONS FOR YOU GUYS GOT SENT TO THE CORRECT ADRESS. BUT IF THEY DID, JUST IGNORE THE ‘GHOSTS OF LAMAKO’ QUESTION. I RECENTLY FOUND OUT THAT IT IS AVAILABLE.
I HAVE ORDERED IT.
THANK YOU ANYWAY.
ALL OTHER QUESTIONS ARE STILL OPEN.
IF YOU ACTUALLY RECIEVED THEM THAT IS.
BYE.
What purpose does earwax serve?
What does staus uncertain mean on Who’s Here?
how do i get my birthday on the calendar
What can you GAPAs tell me about Egyptian comedian Ahmed, Ahmed?
I’m currently on a search for actors to portray Pwt and Aeiou in the Muse movie.
Ahmed has his own official website, but I didn’t want to go there, just in case it contains any inappropriate for minors material.
I have someone in mind for Aeiou, but I can’t remember her name at the moment. She played a chinese assasin in ‘Rush Hour 2.’ That’s all I know.
I don’t know much about Ahmed Ahmed. He speaks excellent English and is pretty funny, but he looks a little stocky to play Pwt.
The actress you’re thinking about is Ziyi Zhang or Zhang Ziyi (she acts under both versions of her name).
Thanks Robert.
Ziyi Zhang would be good to play Aeiou.
Of course she was much more interesting as the asassin who blew up a federal building of some sort, did kick ass karate, fought Chris Tucker with ninja swords, and then commited suicide with a strapped on bomb.
It would be interesting to see her as a computer genius.
I guess I’ll have to look for more Egyptian comedians.
Any Musers out there know any good ones?
What about Urania?
I think Mirranda Otto (LOTR’S Eowyen) should play Urania.
I’m looking for information on a story about Kokopelli, cited by a Muse reader who’s name I have currently forgotten.
At one point during his days as a Hopi fertility god, according to the reader, Kokopelli saved a village (it might have been his own if I’m not mistaken) which was being threatened by an eagle god (I think that’s what it was) by pretending to stick an arrow through his body.
Do you know where I could find a website that would give me information on this story. Was the reader mistaken?
I thought it might be interesting if the Muse movie feattured a few flashbacks regarding Kokopelli’s life before Kokonino County.
Hope you can help.
Thanks.