MuseBlog

Less random than the random thread. More continuity, less noise and pointlessness. Capital letters. Party manners. (O.K., maybe not party manners, but you get the idea.)

Obey The Rules. Consult The Guide. And, as always, have fun.

MuseBlog’s ever-popular continuing forum for topics that need careful handling and/or an extra dose of civility. New version by popular demand, because everybody wants to vent but nobody wants to scroll.

The original “Muse Movie?” thread just hit 400 posts, a sure sign that it’s long past time to start a sequel. Here goes.

MuseBlog’s ever-popular continuing forum for topics that need careful handling and/or an extra dose of civility.

As always, a place for topics that need careful handling and/or an extra dose of civility.

Samantha Sordyl’s friend Pat Dahl has agreed to come on board the blog and talk about your ideas for a Muse movie. He works in Hollywood (in TV, but knows a lot about movies) and has read Attack of the Smart Pies.

(For those who came in late, planning and lobbying for a Muse movie is Cedar’s big project. You can read more about it at Muse Movie? and Muse Movie? Part 2.)

Version 2006.3 is ancient, and FantasyFan says she feels the need to rant. Rant away, one and all–carefully, of course.

Le Bonobo-The Women’s Show-for ages 18 and up

A theater production plan by Cedar

As you ought to have gathered from some of my previous blog posts, I have a thing for bonobos. There was a while, when I thought it would be cool to make a movie with bonobos as the main characters. I wrote out an entire script, but it still needs quite a bit of reworking. I’m going to do that one day, but first, I thought I should put together a theatrical production about them.

Actually, it’s not one hundred percent about them.
The name: Le Bonobo refers to the spirit of pro femaleness in bonobo culture, and the fact that there are a number of people dressed up as bonobos on stage.

Throughout the show, various bonobo-like women come out, and the singing bonobos pay tribute to them through song and dance. There will be tributes to Joan of Ark, Harriet Tubman, The Suffragettes, and many other things.

My family is friends, believe it or not, with lesbian singer Alix Dobkin. I haven’t seen her for a while, but I’ve been wanting to.
I plan to write her an e-mail sometime soon, and ask her if she could help me out with my pro-woman plan, by writing the opening song. I’ve already written a couple myself, but I can’t post them here, because one of them is about sex (it’s not explicit or anything, but I don’t want to offend any parents) and I don’t have the words all worked out on the other two.

My poem, ‘The Upside of Bonobos’ from the ‘Poetry’ thread, will be featured as a between songs mini-comedy. The finale song, which I am working on, is basically a reworked version of that poem. It is the last song in the show, and will be the first song on the soundtrack.

In terms of the bonobo cast, there will be two lead female singers, and then a large, mostly female group. There will be some males, but not to many, since this is a women’s show.

The bonobos in the show will be given the names of real life bonobos.
Such as:

Kanzi
Panbanisha
Loretta
Lola

I know lots of others but I can’t remember their names at the moment.

The costumes will be made, by gluing fake black hair onto a black tight-suit (I’ve forgotten what it’s actually called), and applying bonobo-ish makeup to the actors’ faces.

[Anatomically explicit description of bonobo costumes zapped by GAPA.]

The main lead singer female wears two gold bracelets on her right wrist, a peace symbol necklace, and a white cloth with the woman’s symbol on it, hangs from her left elbow.

For those of you who might be wondering, the show probably will feature naked women. But they will be portrayed in a non sexist, pro woman type of way. Most likely there will be a few naked women on stage during the tribute to women in art.

And finally, in terms of mature content, the bonobo cast often engages in openly sexual dances, and spend lots of time doing sexual types of things, which I will not discuss here, for fear of zapping.

Act/song plan:

* Song already named

ACT ONE:

1. Overture
2. Opening Song
3. Song About Joan of Ark
4. Tribute to mothers
5. Song about Peace
6. Hoka Hoka * (this is a colorful word for the type of sex that females engage in)
7. Tribute to Famous Women Warriors
8. The Upside of Bonobos-A Comedic Poem *
9. Song About Harriet Tubman
10. Song About Women in Art
11. Comedy Song About the Human Fear of Sex
12. Tribute to a particular woman (changes each month to keep things interesting)

ACT TWO:

1. Song About Suffragettes
2. Song About Lesbians
3. Tribute to Rape Survivors
4. Song About Abortion Rights
5. Comedy Song About the Fight for Marriage Equality
6. Song About Female Genital Mutilation (more mature content)
7. Tribute to Witches (the good kind)
8. She Walks on Water and Air * – The Trapeze Act
9. Tribute to Brave Girls
10. Le Bonobo’s Perfection * -The Finale

Set plan:

There will be a large white curtain with a black picture of a bonobo on it. This will go up after the Overture. The stage will be black, with a silver women’s symbol painted on the floor.

There will be three towers in the middle of the stage, with spiral staircase leading up them. Each tower will have a statue of an Amazon Warrior on top of it. Water will spout from the Amazons’ arrows.

At the foot of the fountain, there will be a large pool, from which tall fountains of water will gush during the more energetic numbers. The will also be special machines which shoot fire for dramatic effect. At times there may be an entire wall of fire behind the cast. The fountains will douse the flames at the end of the number.

And what’s a great show without a bit of magic? There will be trapdoors, and mist producing machines all over the stage. The mist machines will sometimes produce enough fake fog to make the entire cast disappear. This is probably how they will vanish at the end of the first act. Don’t worry. It’s all non-toxic.

There will be numerous cables and trapezes on stage, and above the audience. The bonobo cast will do aerial acrobatics, and high-wire acts.

Cast:

There will be 30 bonobos, counting the two lead singers.

There will be a cast of 100 extra dancers (dressed in Amazon Warrior Costumes).

Plus the various actors portraying different famous women.

In all there will probably be 200 people in the cast.

How I plan to go about doing this:

First of all, I plan to write to different self acknowledged feminist singers, tell them what I’m trying to accomplish, and ask them to make a contribution, by writing a song to go in the show. No music will be necessary. Just the lyrics will be fine. I have a mind to ask Cheryl Wheeler to write the comedy songs. She has a knack for writing comedy songs.

I also plan to write e-mails to various well known primatologists (such as Jane Goodall) and ask them for advice on how to make it a really good show. I’ll ask them what sorts of dances bonobos might do if they did dance, and what sorts of facial expressions the actors should practice making. Then I’ll set up a fund, for contributions. When I’ve collected at least a few grand, I’ll go from there.

I’ll put up an ad in a drama magazine, asking for strong, capable female performers. Maybe for a joke the ad could say ‘Males need not be strong or capable.’

The Problem:

A show like this would probably receive quite a bit of attention from critics. And hopefully a lot of it will be positive. But I have a nasty feeling that a lot of it will be negative. Right wingers, Extreme Catholics, and die hard republicans will probably say things like ‘This show is pornographic in the sense that it depicts open portrayals of homosexuality.’

People, People, People.

Dances:

There will be various dances from around the world.

Plus, there will also be research done, into what kinds of dances bonobos would do if they danced.

When it will open:

No clue. But it’ll happen some day. I promise you that.