MuseBlog

KitKat has requested an imaginary virtual online store. As usual, we have trouble imagining what she has in mind. Still… why not?

Shadowkat’s idea. Her description:

Everyone posts as if they were from a year of their choice (i.e. 1774, 1203, 500 B.C., 5178). They would have to identify the year they were from, and act and talk like people really did/will back then/when that year comes. And no one would be able to have the same year as anyone else. They could have a consecutive year (i.e. 1567, 1568), but not the same.

It’s amazing how many people on the blog were born on or have been heavily influenced by other planets. Kiki requested that we revive this thread in their honor. The original Art of Being an Alien thread may or may not give some idea of what to expect.

MuseBloggers’ adventures in extraterrestrial colonization. Continued from Part Three.

The nautical saga remains as incomprehensible as ever. Continued from Ships’ Logs: Part Four.

Muse turned out to be a tiny place, one of those towns that people describe as “a wide spot in the road.” It’s not far off the beaten track, but you probably wouldn’t stumble across it if you weren’t looking for it.

It has a smattering of wooden houses,

two lodge halls (Kokonventioneers take note!), a church or two, a beauty salon, a day school that appears to double as a general store, a post office (see above), an elementary school,

and not much else.

Cell-phone photos taken on a gray, drizzly day in late December probably don’t do it justice. All the same, it’s probably never exactly picturesque.

In other words, it’s absolutely bursting with potential.

Same rules as before, but new identities. Shadowkat’s description:

…a thread where everyone posts under a different (new) name, and pretends to be their alter-ego. We could even take it a step further, and have everyone try to guess who each alter-ego-name actually is. Once somebody figured out who you were, if they ever did, you would post under your original other-thread name, and just keep talking and trying to guess who other people really are if that makes any sense

Shadowkat’s idea. Here’s here description

…a thread where everyone posts under a different (new) name, and pretends to be their alter-ego. We could even take it a step further, and have everyone try to guess who each alter-ego-name actually isonce somebody figured out who you were, if they ever did, you would post under your original other-thread name, and just keep talking and trying to guess who other people really are if that makes any sense

The only Muse-themed online boutique in the known universe is ready to accept orders. Its instigators, blog moderators Robert Coontz and Rebecca Lasley, will be happy to answer questions.

One tip: we’ve found that shipments can take twice as long as CafePress says they do, so don’t wait until the last minute to order holiday presents.

We’ve given up trying to understand this thread. Referring to Ships’ Logs: Part Three is no help at all. People do seem to be having fun here, though; there’s no denying that. So… welcome aboard.

Note: Prarilius Canix has posted an excellent synopsis in Comment 5.

Careers, hopes, dreams, nightmares. Continued by popular request from a thread that started in April.

Suggested by Kiki, who describes it thus: “Someone posts a word and another person says what it made them immediately think of. Fun!”

MuseBloggers’ adventures in extraterrestrial colonization. Continued from Part Two.

By special request of Ebeth.

Continued from… What was that last part called?

For starters, here’s a spiffy Map of Museica that Zyviva drew and e-mailed to gapa@musefanpage.com.

Robert, age 13 (yearbook photo)

One thing the papers emphatically show is what a Lord of the Rings fanatic I was–far, far worse than any Muser. I read The Hobbit in fifth grade and the trilogy every summer before six through eighth grades. (The Silmarillion and other books of Middle-earth lore didn’t start to come out until I was in college.) A couple of my friends were immersed in the books, too. We learned to write Tengwar and Angerthas, drew white hands and red eyes on our homework assignments, came within a hair’s breadth of inventing Dungeons and Dragons, and did all the other geeky things Musers would rediscover decades later. I also wrote a LOTR musical.

Well, not exactly a musical. There was no script–just a series of songs set to tunes that my friends knew and could sing along with. The songs were deliberately silly. As for the quality, judge for yourselves:

1. Elrond’s Song to the Council in Rivendell, Explaining What’s Going On
(To the tune of “Now I Am the Ruler of the Queen’s Na-vee” from H.M.S. Pinafore by Gilbert and Sullivan)

In days of old of which we sing
Sauron decided to make a ring.
He studied ancient books of lore
And he melted down the handle on the big front door.
(All: He melted down the handle on the big front door!)
He melted down the handle, and such was fate
That it turned into a mighty ring of power great.
(All: He melted down the handle and such was fate / That it turned into a mighty ring of power great!)

Eons later on the ca-len-dar,
The ring passed on to Is-il-dur.
Isildur battled for his life,
And he cut the ring off Sauron with a putty knife. (All: He cut, etc.)
Isildur took the ring in such an hour
That he thought that he would be endowed with endless power. (All: Isildur took the ring, etc.)

There were a few more verses, but I think that will do. Let’s see, what else have we got here… Oh, I’d forgotten all about this one:

2. Treebeard Meets Merry and Pippin and Tries to Figure Out What They Are
(To the tune of “My Favorite Things” from The Sound of Music)

First come the Eldar, the fairest of races;
Dwarves, metal-workers, with hair on their faces.
Animals of the air, water, and ground–
But “hobbits” is not a fa-mil-i-ar sound.

Are you a badger, or maybe a carrot?
Animal, veg’table, mineral, spirit?
Horse? No. Or pig? No. Or maybe a cow?
This I must find out, so come with me now!

(Chorus) To the Entmoot… I must take you.
Please do not ask why.
Hop up on my shoulder and hold yourself tight,
For if you fall off… you die!

O.K., what next? “Denethor’s Song” — more Gilbert and Sullivan, not very interesting. “We Are Pursuin’ an Orodruin” (to the tune of “I’m Looking Over a Four-Leaf Clover”) — didn’t get very far with that one, must have sensed it was a bad idea. Oh, this one’s fun:

3. Ringwraiths’ Song to Frodo and Sam Hiking to Mordor
(To the tune of “Parsely, Sage, Rosemary, and Thyme” “Scarborough Fair” as sung by Simon and Garfunkel)

Are you going to Orodruin?
Orcs and trolls infest these hills.
Remember me to old Sau-ro-on.
He’s the master of our wills.

When he has you, you will squeal.
Orcs and trolls infest these hills.
He’ll feed you to Shelob for her next meal
Or be the master of your wills.

The orcs had the best numbers, though. For example:

4. The Uruk-hai Marching Song
(to the tune of the Marine Corps Hymn“The Caissons Go Rolling Along”)

Here we come, now you die,
We’re the fighting Uruk-hai
And our soldiers are marching along!
Rip and tear, maul and crush,
Slice our en-e-mies to mush
As our soldiers go marching along!
So it’s KILL! KILL! KILL!
It gives us such a thrill.
Our numbers, you know, are thousands strong.
And we just can’t wait
To maim and desecrate
As our soldiers come marching along!

Finally, there’s a big company number for orcs and Ringwraiths, to the tune of “Camptown Races” by Stephen Foster:

Ringwraiths: Minas Morgul, here we come.
Orcs: DOO DAH! DOO DAH!
Ringwraiths Mithrandir is just a bum.
Orcs: OH, DOO DAH DAY!
Ringwraiths: Sauron has a big red eye.
Orcs: DOO DAH! DOO DAH!
Ringwraiths He is screaming DIE DIE DIE.
Orcs: OH, DOO DAH DAY!
All: Gonna laugh and dance,
Gonna kill and sing.
I’ll bet my money on the Uruk-hai,
Somebody bet on the ring.

I know, I know: the Uruk-hai were Saruman’s troops, not Sauron’s. I just liked them.

–Robert

The incomprehensible nautical saga continues. Feel free to consult Ships’ Logs: Part Two if you think it will help.

The original “Muse Movie?” thread just hit 400 posts, a sure sign that it’s long past time to start a sequel. Here goes.

MuseBloggers’ adventures in extraterrestrial colonization. It’s hard to explain; if you’re new, you’d better read Part One and hope for the best.

That’s the code name for Musers’ secret plan for world domination. It’s so super-ultra-hyper-secret that it doesn’t have to be secret. As you can see from version 2006.1, it is also, like everything else on the blog, more than a bit muddled.

All Nuse, all the time. You can get the idea from the wildly popular MN 2006.1.

A forum for practicing archaic English, foreign languages, and other off-the-beaten-track forms of communication.

(Coy woodnesse means “quiet madness” in Middle English, the version of our language spoken about 600 years ago.)

Useful resources (additions welcome!):
The original Coy Woodnesse thread
Coy Woodnesse, v. 2006.1
Accents to paste in: à á â ã ä å æ ç è é ê ë ì í î ï ð ñ ò ó ô õ ö ù ú û ü ¿ ¡
“Chaucer’s Middle English” site at the University of California, Santa Barbara
Librarius has another Middle English glossary and a load of information about Chaucer and the Canterbury Tales

Shadowkat’s idea. You’ll have to ask her what it’s all about.

Continued on Part Two.

Continued from (wait for it) Part the First.
Continued on Part the Third.